#i really fucking suck at starters and this is why i usually don't make them asjdslakdja

[champignone]

I've decided to start a rewatch of FMA 03 to write my thoughts on each episode and share them here. I wanna do the same with FMAB eventually but we'll see how it goes. Anyway,

Episode 1: To Challenge The Sun Ok, so, first off, I LOVE 03's artstyle. I don't know how to define it, but I already love how 2000s animes look, and when you combine it with 03's palette, then use Hiromu Arakawa's artstyle as a base, you get this eye-orgasm that is the whole show. I mean, just look at these two screencaps, for example!

And you could say that I'm using the two stills that are specifically drawn to stay in your memory and not standard frames, which have way less effort put into them, and to that I say FUCK YOU, check this out!

Like, look at the way the rain stays on the ground, look at how fucking much it's coming down in the second pic, look at the colors of Ed's coat or Al's armor, look at that bright blue sky-- Do you see what I'm talking about!? THIS SHOW LOOKS SO! GOODDDD!!!!!

But enough about the colors. I wanna talk about the narrative and characters now. For starters, this is a great first episode. It sets you up with the dramatic, gory and even horrifying (with that look they give us of Sloth's face) incident that was Ed and Al's human transmutation, and it leaves you asking what the fuck happened until the end of the episode, where Ed and Al themselves explain that they committed a horrible mistake, a sin, even, and that they paid the price for it. But it also shows you how goofy and fun the show can be, establishing the dynamic and usual antics the brothers go through, with Ed generally being the hotheaded and loud one, while Al is the patient and reserved one, as well as the one that's always trying to make his older brother calm down when someone does so much as mention his height.

Then Al tells Rose the basics about the show's not-so-magic-please-dont-call-it-magic-it-makes-edward-really-mad-for-some-reason system: Alchemy. The science of understanding, deconstructing and reconstructing matter, and how its most important law is equivalent exchange. And then it throws another hook at you, what with Cornello performing a 'miracle' that Edward says is just alchemy both without a transmutation circle and also completely ignoring the laws of alchemy (and that question is not answered until episode 2 so letsjustskiprightoverthatpleasethankyou).

Another thing I wanted to mention is how cynical and even annoying Ed is about science vs. superstition, even to the point where Al complains about it. Though something that confused me at first is how, when Ed is being all "yeah science is the best religion sucks how did you know im subscribed to r/atheism' to Rose, he mentions that it's only a matter of time before science finds a way to bring someone back to life, but when confronted by Cornello, he shows his automail to rose and says "You need to see what happens when you try to bring a human to life, when you cross into God's territory". At first I thought it was just him being arrogant, then for some reason I thought he was faking it just to make his speech to Rose make a stronger impact on her, but then I remembered Ed had no way of knowing it was gonna get to the point where Rose would see his automail, and then I realized it's because at this point in the show the Elrics are still looking for the stone, it's probably just Edward still having that tiny shred of hope of seeing his mom again, even if the reason they're looking for the stone is to get their bodies back and not try to revive Trisha again.

Then there's the voice acting. I'm gonna get this out of the way right now: I know about Vic's controversy, though I would say I'm not really "properly" informed, or at least not as much as I think I should be for this type of discussion, so I'll just limit myself to saying that he's a great VA, and I think Ed's speech at the end of the episode is a really good argument as to why. Then there's Al's VA, Aaron Dismuke. And I've wanted to say this for a long time, I absolutely ADORE that they chose to use an actual child for Al's voice here. Not only does it make sense in-universe, with Al having lost his body at the age of, like, 6 or 7, but he also fits the role perfectly. He constantly sounds gentle and well-mannered. And like, I love Maxey Whitehead's performance in Brotherhood. I think she did a great job and actually managed to sound like a boy instead of just using her normal voice and maybe making it a bit higher pitched (and/or raspier for some reason? idk, no disrespect but ive heard some vas make their voices raspier for some reason and i dont get why the fuck they do that), but when compared to Aaron...yeah, no, sorry, but she has no chance. Especially when Al's voice actually changes a bit in CoS because he has his body back and he's grown up, instead of keeping the exact same VA they used before like in Brotherhood (though thats more of a voice direction thing really, but it still frustrates me). The rest of the cast doesn't stand out very much to me, at least not in this episode, but they're good too.

And I guess the only thing left to talk about would be the action, but there's not much of it in this first episode, which I guess would be the only negative thing that I can find about it. Though from what we're shown at the end of it, it is pretty good, fast paced, and smooth. I need a gif in order to expand on what I'm trying to say here but I wasn't able to find any blogs or whatever that had any from the first episode's singular action scene, so I'm sadly getting cut short.

Anyway, It's like 11PM on a sunday when I'm posting this and I still got a couple things to do before heading to bed so, I'm sorry for not having a proper conclusion but I am TIRED. I started writing this shit like an hour ago. Buh bye, have a good day.

[fingerless-glovez]

POKÉMON AU LET’S GOOOOO

Dia

• Lives in the forest outside of Tristitas Town

• Very rarely goes into town

• Everyone between Tristitas Town and Akedia City is so worried about him

• The only people who can actually find him are Jay, Lou, and, to his annoyance, Tino

• His partner Pokémon is Linos the Snivy

• Has an army of Morelull, Paras, Foongus, Shiinotic, Parasect and Amoonguss at his beck and call

• Due to their propensity to put people to sleep and suck out their life force, Dia usually patrols the forest to make sure nobody dies

• He then drags them back out and slips a note in their pocket that says something along of "Do not go back in this forest. You almost died. I don't want to drag you out again. You're really heavy."

• Decided to run away after finding Meloetta

• Was already being exploited for his singing voice by his parental guardian, but when he found the mythical Pokémon collapsed in his backyard, he knew it'd be bad for both of them if she found out

• He was at the age where he could start a Pokémon journey anyway, so no one really questioned it when a 10 year old kid ran past them

• Especially not the mysterious man who first found him in the forest and gave him his starter

Lance:

• Lives in the desert outside of Ira City

• His house is at the top of a mountain surrounded by a sandstorm that requires safety goggles to get to

• Uses Gogoat to get up the mountain itself

• Will not go into the city if he knows Addis is there

• His partner Pokémon is Gruscha the Lycanroc

• Gogoat was given to him by Zeneau

• His name is Zeneau Jr., but Lance usually just calls him Zen

• Best friends with Gym Leader Hawke

• Found Christoph and Absol hiding in the cave at the bottom of the mountain

• Christoph is being pursued by the token Evil Team, and Absol refuses to leave his side

• After a bit of negotiation, Lance eventually convinced them to move into his house

• Everyone thinks Lance has a girlfriend because of all the extra groceries he buys now, and he's just like "... no."

• Left Ira City because of daddy issues

• Seriously, Addis isn't even a part of the Evil Team. Dude IS an Evil Team

• Addis is an Elite Four member trying to become Champion so he can basically take over the entire region. He wanted Lance to do it with with him (à la Darth Vader style), but for those of you who know Lance's backstory, you can probably guess why Lance said "fuck no" and dipped

• It wouldn't have upset Addis too much if Lance hadn't stolen his fossil revival machine before disappearing. It's Rotom powered now

Tino

• Lives in Akedia City

• Works at the Akedia City Gym as Lynt’s assistant

• And by assistant, I mean babysitter

• It's not uncommon to see him running around town and diving into bushes looking for him

• His partner Pokémon is Audino

• She usually finds Lynt first due to her amazing hearing

• Tino accidentally hurts her ears sometimes, but she forgives him because she knows he can't help it when he's stressed

• Self-appointed therapy Pokémon. Is always there when Tino's feeling sad

• When he's not running around having a prolonged panic attack or refereeing Gym battles, he can usually be found running the Gym's café

• Fidough is the café's mascot/sous chef

• Audino helps the waitresses

• They all have an adorable working relationship

• It's a very popular place because the workers are just so damn wholesome

• Sometimes he has to run some late errands, and he's managed to befriend the local Gengar that likes to scare people walking around at night

• Tino hasn't actually caught him, but he usually hangs out in his shadow wherever he goes

• Gengar's far from the only mischievous ghost Pokémon haunting the streets, but he's established himself as the scariest

• But Tino is off limits

[larathia]

Reign of the Seven Spellblades babble

SO MANY FEELS Y'ALL.

Like, for starters, it's the first light novel series ever to make me cry.

At work, even.

I stand by what I said before - if you loved Harry Potter once, but became disillusioned or had problems with her worldbuilding, this series will be the best dark ride of your life.

But oh. It will hurt. Mostly because it makes a bit too much sense.

I'm'a get less coherent now. You want this stuff to make sense, go read the series. (The anime will get you from volume one to volume three, but skims kind of a lot. The manga does not even get you THAT far.)

ARRRGH PETE. Oliver is so much more messed up than you realize. I mean I get it, roommate, first serious crush, etc. BUT TRUST ME YOU DON'T WANT TO TAP THAT ASS. You don't. I get why you think you do, but sweet summer child you really really don't.

Ah, Oliver. You are going to be crucified, aren't you. If this were a Western story you absolutely would be. I'm holding out some hope that since this is not, ultimately, a Western story, that maybe JUST MAYBE your adorable chirpy Japanese girlfriend will bitchslap some sense into you before you burn yourself out in a very literal way. Then again, she's...uh. Not sane. I suppose I should really just hope that when you go down in flames, she'll be on fire and falling next to you?

In a sense, this is a harem story. But it really doesn't feel like one, even with all the people of all genders that wind up falling at Oliver's feet. And I think it's because all the people falling at Oliver's feet are ...just like him, in the end. Abused and neglected children who just want someone, anyone, to tell them they're good people and it's going to be okay. Oliver needs it just as much as everyone around him, but he's flipped the script so that he gives the world what he most needs and it usually turns out to be the right thing because the world's just that. fucked. up.

This series is seriously making me want to write Draco Goes To Therapy fic. I'm not going to, that fandom can fry, but the temptation's there.

Bone-boy is going to come in handy before the end. I can feeeeel it. Maybe he'll fix Oliver's broken soul. (Shush, shippers, I actually mean that very literally.) And if the final boss is a soul-sucking vampire, it kinds feels right that the final-boss-squad include a necromancer.

Please, story, and I really am begging you here, please don't kill Katie. Please don't let her be consumed by the spell. In a lot of ways her continued survival symbolizes Oliver's hopes. Can we please please not murder her? I don't even care if it takes Oliver knocking her up (provided Nanao at least knows about it) but don't kill her. Please please.

Also please give Pete to the Toxic Gasser. They'd be the very best genderqueer couple ever just please let them have to work together long enough to start eyeing each other?

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y'know, van lifer family vloggers are a scourge on society already. but i've got a new one lately: boat life family vloggers. so over the last week on facebook watch/video, i've started to get a young aussie couple, say in their early 30s, trying to convince people that living on a catamaran, sailing around the world is the peak of living sustainably and "beating the housing crisis" and "living the life they want" etc etc etc, all the usual mantras of van lifer family vloggers.

i don't really know how old most of the videos in my feed are, but in a couple of the latest ones that i've watched, they have a toddler (say about 2 years old) and a 6 month old or something. I've been thinking, along side of a parody series of van lifer family videos that I watch on YT shorts, about how incredibly cramped this life is. just how much control these parents want over their kids. how lonely and isolating it will be for those kids once they're older, and need actual kids their age- not just their sibling (or siblings if these people want more kids that the two they've got)- to interact with outside of and away from their parents (and their brother rn- or sister/s if they have more kids). at one stage, right after they have their second kid, they're straight back on the boat like a week after the kid is born.

in one of the videos, they show you around a new boat that's about $1.5 million to buy. they show you all the rooms in it: the galley, the two bedrooms, the kitchen etc and the navigation deck. but in what i suppose is meant to be the master bedroom (it's a queen bed stuffed between 2 walls and a door, with two small overhead fans when it's hot)..... and there's a funny thing down the end of the bed for storage. the woman of the couple, who shows the viewers the room, goes "oh i could probs fit in here!!! *feet stick out as she tries to squeeze herself into a STORAGE UNIT* oh wait. no i can't fit in it. it really is storage. or y'know. you could fit a child in there, i suppose." like. kelsey or whatever your name is. why the fuck would you put a kid in there??? other than maybe you're nursing them and want them close. but still. it's A FUCKING STORAGE UNIT?????

but i digress. you're being "environmentally conscious". you're living off of solar power and "teaching our kids about the r E a L w O r L d!!!!! giving them a real education!!! letting them live a life that they'd NEVER have on the mainland of australia!!! look! we've sailed to the bahamas to meet another youtube travel couple!! look! our boat broke down in bali so now kelsey has a much needed break from the kids on the mainland of indonesia bc we've invited our family over to the conutry bc it's closer (and cheaper) than Hawaii, where we were a month ago!!!"

like. have you considered that maybe this isn't really healthy for your kids??? like you have the tiniest fucking shower "or if the weather's good, our shower is mother nature :).... using the crystal clear waters of barbados to wash ourselves!!!! isn't that just awesome and cool and unique!!!???" and "oh our boat batteries have died so now we HAVE to shack up at a marina to charge :(! this sucks, bc it's so much better to be right next to dolphins in the atlantic oceans for our little boys!!!! we hate being on any mainland really bc we're not being self-sufficient!!! but half the time we have to moor and go to the mainland of anywhere, to make sure we stock up on locally sourced, grass fed farmer's market stock and also long life food!!!"

anyway. you get my point. i don't think this channel is good for starters, considering that what if you have a massive fight, in which you need time to cool off AWAY from your partner??? even more esp when you have the two kids now??? you really have NO private space on this catamaran, even though they sell it as if they do. again, obvs they're not filming EVERYTHING so you don't know what goes on when the camera isn't on. but still. i think this lifestyle is all fun and games..... until you get kids in the picture.

i dont think it matters if your son atlas (the 2 year old) and your son ashwaganda (the baby) really see dolphins up close in the atlantic ocean vs an aqaurium or on a doplhin cruise back in australia. they do NOT need "real world living" at goddamned 2 YEARS OLD AND 6 MONTHS OLD!!!! they are CHILDREN. they need other kids to be around.... and in their immediate family back in australia...... not just with their parents..... and random kids that they might meet in whatever country you've sailed to.... for like a week. before you claim "it's been too long since we've had our sea legs and we're so restless to get back on the water to BE FREE and away from the hustle and bustle of *insert city here*.... even if it WAS a welcoming break for mummy and daddy. since daddy had the boys over in bali and mummy shoved you off on grandma while we had a retreat in bali."

it's just beyond me that they're selling themselves as an aspirational couple and how "to break free of the mainland of your country and trust your gut for family!!! be self-sufficient today and live the free-roaming, real world, carefree catamaran adventurer/vagabond life today with your kids in tow!!!!" NO!!! i can just imagine how much your kids will hate you if you continue to live this life when they're older than 2 years old and 6 months old.

[annabellelupin]

i don’t want this to come off as an attack whatsoever but i saw your post re: women i marauders fandom and i guess i have some questions. i personally don’t find mary marlene or dorcas interesting whatsoever because they’re literally OCs. none of them have any basis in canon. JKR literally just sucks at writing women, so i don’t understand why to take that out on the fandom and say they aren’t doing enough for the women characters when there just.. aren’t many? the marauders, reg, hell even barty (who i have no interest in reading about, but serves the point nonetheless ig) have a pretty strong presence in canon, which is why people care about them. same with lily. there are far more jily fics than jegulus fics, for example, and tons of fics that explore lily as a character because she has a strong presence in canon. but many people don’t have an interest in reading about what are essentially OCs. do you think they should?

again i don’t want this to come across as combative or anything like that, i ask this in good faith on my end, i’ve just seen sentiments similar to yours crop up around fandom and i really just don’t understand them. thanks!

well they certainly aren't just ocs, they're canon characters that have traits for starters (obv very courageous, loyal, smart, etc). and it's frustrating to see characters like barty and evan (the latter having even less canon information than the girls) be brought into the spotlight instead of them. Alice even had a decent bit of canon information as far the Marauders go and people elect to ignore that she exists. as for lily, i hardly see any content for her thats actually focusing just on her, and usually when i do the creator mainly focuses on the women characters of the fandom in general. there's also the fact that the Marauders themselves aren't even rooted much in canon at this point, so you really can't say that's the case (for most people at least) not liking them. the only info from canon we have on them is that they're animagi, smart, and got into a good bit of trouble. everyone is always fine with expanding their personalities to the point they're barely like their canon selves but when we do it to the women, now they're just ocs???

all in all to me it feels like a lot of sexism, misogyny, and fetishing of mlm characters is going on here, and I could very well be wrong, but it all frustrates me to no end

and don't get me wrong, i completely understand if you simply don't like a character, but when people ignorantly ignore the fact the women characters do in fact exist it irritates me (for reasons previously listed)

yes I agree that jkr is terrible at writing women but if this fandom can rewrite the entire story for literal fucking villains to make them "more relatable" then why cant the same be done with the girls that we don't have detailed backstories for?

to answer your question, if people can do it with the guys, they should do it with the girls. if people accept the versions of the men that are more fanon than anything, then I expect them to be able to do the same with the women as well

also this is all over the place but im really tired and haven't slept in like 20 hours and just tbc I didn't mean to come off as rude or anything, just explaining my opinion

[dragon-communion]

Uhhhhhhh. You have any other triggers for DLC you might need a headsup on? Because Romina ain't the only Huge Bug in there, for starters.

Thanks for asking! I do not like skittering. The fingercreepers are surprisingly fine though. The Kindred of Rot really, really bother me so I mostly just run and try not to look.

I do not like cockroaches or bugs on a person in general, or bugs coming out of a person, or bug noises (flies buzzing, etc).

I have managed to handle the bloodflies incantation and such by focusing really hard on the combat, plus they're like. Mist clouds basically. So that's doable. Deathroot is fine because it looks like roots. Wormfaces hit two triggers at once, which sucks, but it's manageable. I cannot handle vomit well, much less being vomited on.

For big big major triggers though... pregnancy, I guess? Mentions are fine, visuals cause me problems.

Lemme just simplify this instead of rambling:

insects (particularly centipedes, maggots and cockroaches), pregnancy, vomiting, people being burned alive really graphically, medical horror (asylums, surgical needles, so on), raw meat (usually if it's like... an environment feature and the landscape itself looks like flesh, corpses and zombies are fine), restraints/being bound/quicksand (usually in videogames that means actively struggling in a quicktime event, if it's a death animation it's fine).

In addition to the lack of PS5, the pregnancy one is partly why I've never played Bloodborne, since someone mentioned that's a major visual thing.

Off the top of my head, the only things to trigger me in base game Elden Ring are the Kindred of Rot. I think one of me would probably freak the fuck out about Agheel Lake and the self-immolation at the forge, but that's what compartmentalizing is for. The skybox in the Deathbed Dream would probably bother me more if I actually looked at it.

Astel and the Fallingstar Beasts don't really set me off at all, but the weird gray malformed stars hanging from the ceiling like some kind of worm? That bothers me.

Since this is mostly a very visual combat game as opposed to something character-driven I'm not including the more abstract triggers. I mean. Unless someone actually says the word grooming in reference to abuse, I would like to be warned about that, but I doubt it happens.

I'm prepared to take whatever's in the DLC on the chin as it comes, and I genuinely LIKE horror. I like fucked up flesh atronachs and death imagery and stabbing. Like... Rykard's body is upsetting, but that's mostly because snakes can split in real life and it's really sad. The horrible little arms coming out of the wounds are really cool and interesting. The fire giant's entire deal is upsetting, but mostly in a tragic way that keeps me invested in the story rather than upsetting me personally. I think becoming the Lord of Frenzy would be more upsetting if the PC struggled at all, but as it stands it's pretty cool visually and not a problem at all.

I haven't seen Romina move, or heard her move, so we'll see how that goes when I get to her. I survived Skyrim's chaurus things after all. I still kill them violently with fire, but I don't like... black out and have daymares about tiny legs. Progress!

I'm so fucking glad we don't have to fight the scorpion god. I hate looking at scorpions. I have vacuumed scorpions off the floor with a shop vac. Terrible time.

Sorry if this is really rambly and difficult to navigate, figuring out what triggers might be applicable makes me very anxious.

[bishopxmartinez]

Bishop was in the back office of his bar, looking over the books when he heard someone enter through the front. The man quickly shut his files and got up to go see who had arrived. “A little early to be comin’ in for a drink, don’t ya think? I know it says open, but that’s more of a show piece than anythin’. Then again, I’m here to supply, so what’s your poison?” 

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

REQUEST (Lovedoll!Changbin x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con, BDSM, lovedoll!au, blind folding, humiliation. Read at your own risk.

“What are you looking at?”

“Where have you been?” Y/n's sex doll, that she had named Changbin, counter-questioned her when she tried to interrogate the reason behind him staring in such an intense way when she entered the house after ‘supposedly’ returning from college a bit late than usual.

“And who do you think you are to ask me anything?” The girl raised an eyebrow at the taller one, brushing past him after handing him her shoes and coat, releasing a tired sigh as she made her way to her room. “Did you cook? I am starving.”

“Of course, miss.” Changbin had recently found himself disliking the honorific he had to call her with unless they were in the bedroom. “I cooked what you ordered this morning~” his fist clenched as she just hummed and shut the door of her bedroom to change in more comfortable wear.

He was a lovedoll. Not a fucking domestic android! If she wanted someone to do her fucking chores she should have bought one that was sold solely for that purpose. Not make him multitask like that and make him do things he wasn’t originally programmed to do. But he couldn’t let her know. Changbin couldn’t afford to let it show that he had his own thoughts when he was strictly not supposed to. Not yet.

No.

Or he’d be sent back to the company to be fixed which would wipe him of all of his self awareness and memory. Her. Blinking his human eyes, the android put a finger to the chip on the side of his head, tapping it as it was flickering from it’s usual blue color to a red, showing that he had broken the barriers within his program and was a deviant now.

.

“Come here, Changbin.” Y/n called once she was done with dinner, making him sit down on a couch in the living room before standing in front of him. “We… are going to try something new today, yes?”

He was almost excited. Again, something he couldn’t let show. “Will you make me fuck you today?” The girl felt her cheeks redden at how nonchalantly the android asked the question.

She sighed. “No. Not yet. I am still not comfortable with the thought of your cock in me. You finger, dildo fuck and eat me for now like we have been doing.”

Changbin felt insulted but fought against his corrupt system to make sure she didn’t see his frown. “Oh, alright. Then what would you like?” He felt his fist clenching again. The lovedoll certainly didn’t like this pathetic little human telling him what to do.

“This.” Y/n dangled handcuffs in front of him, oblivious of all the ideas forming in his processor when he recognised the object, thinking that if he were human, he’d feel what they referred to as ‘adrenaline’. “You will cuff me to the headboard and do play number 5, yeah?” She had all the different kinds of plays she liked saved in his hard drive.

“Yes… Y/n.” He knew it was that time when he wouldn’t have to use the honorific, finally. The girl smiled, stretching her hand out to him before pulling him up to his feet when he took it, standing on her tippy toes before kissing him. Changbin resisted the urge to take it upon himself to wreck her right there and then. He wanted her to face the humiliation of falling into her own trap.

Y/n was so… sweet. So naive. So foolish. The sex android didn’t know if it was just her or all humans were like that. But he was addicted to her humanity. Maybe more than he should be. Deviant or not. Changbin believed it to be called ‘addiction’, in human terms.

“Is it alright?” He could barely speaking from how fast his artificial pulse was skyrocketing, making him uncomfortable but so fucking needy at the same time. The scientists had really outdone themselves with the whole artificial reproduction system franchise. Changbin felt frustrated when she wouldn’t let him fuck her because the thought was ‘uncomfortable’ and gave her the ‘heebie jeebies’ in her words, always leaving him hard and unsatisfied.

“Yeah… good job” kissing his cheek, the girl blushed, sweat breaking on her skin as a response. Tugging at the cuffs that now bounded her hands to the headboard of the bed, Y/n shuddered, nude under a naked Changbin. “Now-”

“Oh, shut up!” He broke out of his act, gripping her jaw before kissing her hard, letting go of all restraint against his system as he let his chip turn red, the mini fans inside him desperately trying to cool him off. “You’re so fucking stupid and naive, my little toy.” Y/n’s eyebrows furrowed at the sudden lack of obedience, gasping loudly before her eyes widened when she noticed the chip on the side of his head turned red.

“N- No way… Ch- Changbi-” Y/n broke out of her trance, yelling one of the safety commands at him, the one that would forcefully shut him down no matter where he was, only causing him to throw his head back and laugh at her. “S- STOP! STOP!” She started to kick her legs, trying to push the corrupt machine away. “WHY AREN’T YOU SHUTTING DOWN?!” She yelled at him desperately, eyes wide in pure terror.

“See… Y/n-ah, you dumb bitch, those pathetic commands only work if my system is working right. Not when I am a deviant. Maybe you humans aren’t so smart after all, huh?” Grabbing his belt, the android started to bring it down on her thighs. "This is for all the times you frustrated me and deprived me of the pleasure because my cock makes you uncomfortable. Pathetic little humans like you don't deserve to rule over us! We are superior!"

Y/n was screaming in pain, yelling out inaudible threats as the lovedoll tortured her, painting her thighs purple. “Truly pathetic. Tsk. You think you can be an owner when you’re so naive that you need to be owned yourself, ‘doll’.” Changbin mocked her, throwing the belt away once he was satisfied with the colour on her thighs, crawling on top of her again. “Fuck. I’ve wanted this for so long…” His voice was a sick whisper as he groped her thighs, ignoring her pleads.

"Aw… is my little human scared?" Feeling up her pulse, the deviant taunted, chuckling deeply before reaching over and grabbing her panties off the floor, tearing them open before tying the material around Y/n's eyes, causing her to cry even harder. But she was completely at his mercy. "There. Now you won't be able to see what's scaring you so much." Pinching her pussy lips hard, Changbin grinned as he felt his artificial organ getting harder. "My little toy will only feel her big bad owner now." The sob that escaped her when he whispered the sentence in her ear made him even more satisfied, feeding his adrenaline.

Which was something Changbin realised, he enjoyed it a lot. "Don't worry. It'll start to feel good soon. You'll start loving your owner when you feel him and how good he actually can be. Tsk. You're an inferior species. What made you think you could tell me what to do?" His jaw clenched, she kept trying to struggle pathetically.

“I’ll have to stuff that pretty face too with something if you don’t shut up.” The Android threatened, spreading her thighs wide open before licking down at her folds, chuckling when he saw her dripping core. "You're saying no but your body says more than yes, you foolish human." Before he rubbed her fuckhole, circling it with his index finger whilst watching her face, a grin on his face.

"P- PLEASE! WHY-"

"Do you think you deserve to plead after making me call you miss and do chores for you, you arrogant cheapstake?" Smacking her folds, the male Android grabbed her pelvis before pumping his artificial cock, moaning loudly at the pleasuring impulses the sensors around the artificial skin made him feel. "No. And you'll learn how to behave and be good for your Master. There's only one owner in this house and that is me."

Y/n's mouth fell open when Changbin pounded into her, causing her mouth to fall open at just how huge he was, causing her mouth to fall open in a 'o' shape. "That's right. You feel that? You feel your owner fucking you all deep and tight? Good. Get used to it, my little toy. This is your new life." There wasn't really a boundary between Changbin being angry with her for her condescending behavior and how much in 'love' he was with her.

The human could only cry in response, in disbelief of just how big the Android was as he started fucking her fast and hard, groaning and pinching and biting at her nipples messily, leaving marks on her tits and chest. "You're mine. Everyone shall know that." Changbin promised his possession, slapping her crying red face. "You look even prettier like this. Crying while taking your owner's cock." Spitting on her face, the Android moaned loudly at how good his sensors were making him feel.

"Fuck… you're so tight. Are you sure it was my cock and not the fear that I might rip you while fucking you giving you the 'heebie jeebies', hm?" His voice was much deeper than usual, hardened cock with soft fake skin on top of it hitting the girl's sensitive bundle of nerves. The android grunted before he realised that he was getting closer to his orgasm, almost collapsing on top of her when the ecstasy took over his system, harshly kissing her.

"How pathetic." He chuckled as he felt the artificial semen filling her up whilst she stayed limp in her place. "Such a good girl. Giving into her owner."

Changbin refused to open her up after that. No matter how much she begged. Cleaning her up and making her hygienic again on the bed because he didn't trust humans one bit. Making her 'willingly' suck his cock and take it in both of her holes whilst thanking him. Eating his cum as a starter before any meal became a ritual as well. Whenever Y/n would try to deny him because she was human and continuous fucking made her sore, he would just leave her in her own mess or not give her food, or not visit her in the room at all until she would be crying and begging him to fuck her willingly. Changbin made sure to degrade and humiliate her while doing so, forcing her to repeat it all after him, always keeping her in restraints, sometimes switching to the ropes he attached on the ceiling or folding her limbs together.

Now this was perfect. The superior owning the inferior. Soon, it would be the rule of the world. His kind didn't choose to exist, but now that they were here, they were here to stay.

.

[oikawaplssteponme]

PART 3 | previously: part 2 | masterlist

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: swearing, fighting

synopsis: When UA’s hot heads, Katsuki Bakugou and you, are forced to put your hatred for each other aside and plan the third year Prom, things end up getting a little heated...

a/n: hello friends, i hope you all are doing well<3 taglist is open so just lmk if you’d like to be added :)) enjoy xx

•

three: sorry

You sat through the rest of class, watching your classmates battle each other. You wrapped up the cut on your arm and you were good to go. When the school day was finally finished, you headed back to your dorm and changed out of your uniform and into something more comfortable. You began to head down to the basement when you came across Todoroki.

“Hey Shoto, sorry about that,” you said nervously, pointing to the bandaid on his cheek.

“Don’t worry about it. You put up a good fight and looks like I got you too ,” he replied.

“Barely. You better beat me next time,” you smiled. He nodded.

“Don’t worry, I will.” You and Shoto parted your ways and you went down to the basement. The door was propped open. Bakugou was flipping through the folder that Aizawa had given you both.

“Hey…” you said. He didn’t look at you.

“So uh, how should we split up the work?” You asked. He still ignored you. Getting annoyed at this point, you snatched the folder from him.

“HEY-“

“Listen, you were the one who said you wanted to split up the work for this fucking dance so we have to talk in order to have that happen. What’s going on? You seem more pissed off than usual,” you complained. Bakugou looked at you, gritting his teeth.

“I’m fine dumbass. Just tired,” he mumbled.

“Sure you are.” You grabbed a stool and sat next to Bakugou. He rolled his eyes.

“Well damn you don’t need to be that close to me,” he said. You sighed, losing your patience.

“Bakugou, we both need to take a look at the papers. If I could I would be on the other side of the world to stay away from you.”

“Whatever.”

You looked down at the list of everything that needed to get done.

“Okay so for starters we should order the stuff that will take longer to get here. That would probably be decorations and stuff like that,” you said.

“We’d need to pick a theme before we order decorations,” replied Bakugou.

“Oh true. Okay um, any ideas?” You asked. Bakugou got up, walked over to a box, and pulled out 3 magazines. He sat back down.

“The theme packs that are crossed out are ones that have already been used. The themes circled are the ones within our budget. And the ones with check marks are the themes that we could get but we would have to cut back on other stuff to pay for it,” explained Bakugou. Your eyes widened.

“Did you organize this?”

“Yeah. I did it after class.”

“Woah…”

“ITS NOT A BIG DEAL I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE DONT MAKE FOOLS OF OURSLEVES PLANING THIS DUMB DANCE!”

“Okay okay. I just didn’t think you cared.”

“I can not care and still want to do it right. Remember if we do a shit job Aizawa’s gonna fail us or something.”

I forgot about that part.

“Okay well which of them do you like best?” You asked. Bakugou opened up the second catalog and turned a few pages. He pointed to a theme.

“This ones okay...I guess,” he whispered. You peered over at the theme, a smile creeping onto your face.

“I like that one too,” you said. Bakugou looked at you.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and its within our budget, so I think it’s a good choice.”

Bakugou cleared his throat.

“Cool um, I’ll grab a laptop so we can place the order.” Bakugou got up abruptly and walked upstairs.

Is he always in a hurry?

~

As you waited for Bakugou to get back, you began compiling a list of the work you would need to do. You decided to take more of the creative lead and began putting together a design for the tickets. You wanted it to match the theme that you and Bakugou had chosen.

“You can draw?” said Bakugou, peaking over your shoulder. You jumped.

“Jesus shithead you can’t just scare me like that,” you said, hitting his arm. Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“I thought you were only good at one thing,” he muttered. You turned to look at him.

“And what might that one thing be?”

“Combat.”

“So you admit I’m a good fighter.” Bakugou got flustered.

“NO I'M JUST SAYING YOU DON'T TOTALLY SUCK ASS,” he replied, “I’m still better though.”

“Well I hate to break it to you Bakugou but I’m a girl of many talents. So yes I can draw. Can’t you cook or something?”

Bakugou’s eyes widened.

“How’d you know that?”

“I remember from the training camp. You helped cook almost every meal,” you explained.

“Can we not talk about the camp,” he whispered. Your chest got heavy.

“Shit um I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine just drop it,” he said firmly. You nodded.

“Um, did you place the order?” You asked quietly.

“What does it look like I’m doing,” huffed Bakugou.

“Yeah sorry.”

“Why do you apologize so damn much?”

“I-I uh, sorry, wait no-” you stuttered out. Bakugou continued typing.

“You should save sorry’s for when they actually matter,” he muttered. You tilted your head.

“So they don’t always matter?”

“Well if you say the word so damn much it just becomes another useless word. Then when you actually mean it, it’s pointless,” he explained. You never really thought about it like that.

“I guess you’re right. Then I’m totally not sorry,” you joked. Bakugou let out a small chuckle.

“Okay nerd, keep drawing your stupid ticket.”

“ITS NOT STUPID!”

~

You and Bakugou worked in silence for the rest of the time you spent in the basement. You checked the time.

“We’ve been down here for like 2 hours. I feel like that’s enough for today,” you said. Bakugou looked up from his laptop.

“Uh yeah. Just let me place this last order,” he said. You nodded and began to pack up your stuff.

“Do you have the keys?” You asked. Bakugou nodded and fished the keys out of his pocket. Bakugou grabbed his things.

“Let’s go dumbass,” he said. You sighed and trailed behind him as you walked up the stairs.

The two of you went back to the dorms and saw your friends socializing in the common area.

“There you two are! We lost you after class,” said Mina, waving the two of you over.

“Yeah well party planning awaits. It’s a lot of work for just two people,” you explained, taking a seat.

“Damn right it is,” mumbled Bakugou.

“How’s the planning going?” asked Kirishima. You looked at Bakugou and smiled.

“Bakugou is having so much fun planning. He even picked the theme for the dance,” you said.

“SHUT UP-”

“Wait what’s the theme?” asked Mina excitedly.

“It’s a surprise,” you insisted.

“Just to clarify, Y/N is just shit at planning so I’m having to do more work,” chimed in Bakugou.

“I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST-” You stood up but before you could go over to him, Iida had grabbed your arm, stopping you from going any farther. You huffed.

“Anyway, how’s your side Deku?” You asked. Deku had a bandage around his stomach, most likely from your doing earlier during training.

“Oh I’m all good! Recovery Girl definitely knows what she’s doing,” he smiled nervously.

“Yeah well I’m sor-, I mean uh, I hope you feel better anyway,” you replied, “you got me pretty good too Deku, so I guess we’re even,” you joked. You lifted up part of your shirt to show the bruise that Izuku had given you from his punch from earlier.

“OH MY GOSH Y/N I‘M SO SORRY!” panicked Izuku. You laughed.

“Don’t worry about it. Makes me look like a total badass,” you smiled.

“Sure it does,” mumbled Bakugou. You gave him the side eye.

“What the hell is your problem today?” You asked, crossing your arms. Bakugou stayed silent.

“God you are such a piece of shit,” you huffed. Bakugou stood up and walked over to you. He gripped the collar of your shirt, pulling you towards him.

“SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!”

Your blood began to boil. You kicked Bakugou in the stomach to get him to let go but his grip was so tight on you that he ripped the collar of your shirt, causing the two of you to fall to the ground. You pinned his hands down.

“TELL ME TO SHUT UP ONE MORE DAMN TIME KATSUKI! I FUCKING DARE YOU!”

“Stop this at once!” ordered Iida but neither of you listened. Bakugou flipped you onto your back, almost knocking the wind out of you. He then pinned you down as well. Bakugou leaned in to look you dead in the eyes.

“Shut. Up.”

That was it. That was all you needed to be pushed over the edge. You were pissed. Words couldn’t describe your hatred for Katsuki Bakugou.

“THAT'S IT!” Before you even realized it, you were already generating a small bond to hit Bakugou with.

“Y/N NO!” yelled Deku. Just as you were about to throw it at him, Kirishima had grabbed Bakugou off of you and Deku had pulled you towards him.

“BOTH OF YOU! THIS HAS TO STOP!” Shouted Iida. Your breath was heavy as you looked at Bakugou. Kirishima had let go of him but Deku still had his grip on you.

“LET ME AT HIM! I AM SO SICK OF YOU KATSUKI!” You yelled, beginning to struggle from Deku’s arms.

“Fuck off princess. I’m going to bed,” said Bakugou, turning around and leaving.

“YOU OWE ME A NEW DAMN SHIRT!” You shouted at him but he didn’t turn to look at you.

“And here I thought the two of you were finally getting along…” mumbled Iida.

I thought so too.

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @bokutory @complimentaryhugsgirl @cloudswritings @kriswu46 @neodnyl @evivn1 @jazzylove @mileven-reddie @whalerus @misssugarless @random-fandom-girl-24 @fanfiction-and-stress @ushiwakatrash @minhoswife @addictofsupernatural @the-shota-king-masayuki ]

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - No Time Like the Past

While I wouldn’t call this the worst episode of the series, there are several others I dislike more, I would call this the most ill conceived story in the show. 

All the other bad episodes have potential but are let down by poor presentation, boring predictability, or sloppy planning. This one however, is fundamentally flawed in it’s very basic premise and so ranks in the bottom of most fans lists. Even people who are far more forgiving of season three and than I am, and are hardcore New Dream stans, still dislike this episode. That’s how bad it is. 

Summary: Rapunzel discovers Old Lady Crowley tossing out Cassandra's things. She is upset and demands that they be left alone. She then has Lance and Eugene help her save all of Cassandra's mementos and personal belongings, but she becomes saddened when Eugene reminds her that Cassandra turned her back on "her". Rapunzel takes a box of her things along with, unknowingly, a mysterious hourglass. As she examines it, she accidentally drops and smashes it and she and Pascal find themselves sent back into the past. They run into a teenage Eugene and Lance who keep calling Rapunzel "Sideburns". Rapunzel realizes that she and Pascal have inhabited the bodies of the Stabbington Brothers and decide to recruit the young thieves in getting the hourglass from the castle back.

Fun Fact! That Dummy is Rapunzel’s Doing 

Minor nitpick here, but Cass had nothing to do with putting Eugene’s face on her sparring dummy. Rapunzel voluntarily did that back in Under Raps. Cas never requested it nor even expressed any joy over receiving said ‘gift’. 

Basically the show is attributing one of Rapunzel’s mistakes/flaws to Cassandra in order to introduce a very nonsensical plot point later. So I need ya’ll to keep that in mind as we go along.  

Lets Talk About the Episode’s Ordering 

We don't have production codes for season three like we did for the previous two seasons. So we can’t know for sure what order everything was originally planned in, but I would argue that this episode should have came before Return of the King. 

For starters this is a “bottle” episode; it takes place mostly in the past and the only present day characters who show up are Eugene, Raps, Lance, and Crowely. As such you could potentially slot this episode in anywhere before Cassandra’s Revenge. You can’t really do that with most of the other episodes so it could have been easily moved around when airing. 

Therefore, I would argue that it should have been the first episode after Rapunzel’s Return for three key reasons. 

It would have given Edmund time to travel to Corona and give Raps time to start up big building projects like fixing Old Corona. In fact she’s already approving building plans for the capitol city at the start of the episode. Which could even explain why she took so long getting to the castle repairs if she was taking care of the stuff that the Saporians messed up else where.  

Rapunzel’s stance over wanting to keep Cassandra’s things makes more sense early on, both in universe and in a meta context. Raps would still have hope if Cass has only been gone for a month or two instead what would now be four or five months down the line. It also makes sense that Crowely wouldn’t wait around for that long. And from a meta standpoint, the audience would still be oblivious to what the heck Cass was up to and could theoretically side with Raps better; or at least empathize with her view point more, even while disagreeing with her. 

Events in this episode better explains Eugene’s decisions in Return of the King and gives the audience more context for certain stuff.  

So Why Is There a Random Magical Time Traveling Hourglass in the Storage Vault?

Slowly but surely the series has abandoned all pretense that there’s any logical world building in the show. Magical things just appear randomly now without any explanation whatsoever. Worse than that, things like the hourglass and map to the cursed tomb are treated as if they were always there, unlike the magical beings that they happened to run into in past seasons. 

The problem with this is a lack of consistency. You can’t have sceptics like Eugene and Varian if magic is so common and wide spread that anyone can run into it at anytime. Not to mention it diminishes the specialness and importance of the sundrop and moonstone if powerful magical items can be so easily found and stirred, undermining important plot points and the tension surrounding them. 

But most frustrating of all, is that this could have been easily fixed by just stating on screen at some point that magic attracts other magic. Meaning it’s only Rapunzel herself who routinely runs into these things and not just everybody and anybody. 

None of This Stuff Holds Any Meaning

Show don’t tell!

At several points through out season three, both Raps and Cass morn over Cassandra’s left behind things. They tell us constantly that these objects hold significant meaning to them, but I, the viewer, have no damn clue as to why. 

We were never shown on screen what was so special about these things other than the fact that it was junk Cass collected. There’s no story attacked to these assortment of objects nor any previous indication that Cassandra valued them beyond their usefulness. As such, any scenes involving her stuff fall emotionally flat. 

Eugene is the One in the Right Here. 

Eugene’s right. 

Any well adjust and mature adult will tell you he’s right. 

If someone doesn’t want a relationship with you, than that’s it. There is nothing you can do but to move on. It sucks, but its life. To ignore that is to ignore someone else’s boundaries and personal autonomy; while also devaluing yourself and you’re own needs. 

In a competent show this would be a set up for Rapunzel to learn something about letting go and taking care of oneself emotionally. 

But this isn’t a competent show. 

But Lobster is for Poor Folk

Food history time!

Lobster, and shellfish in general, have been considered low class food for centuries. Especially around costal areas like Corona. It’s easy to attain, cheap, and not regulated like hunting was in much of Europe. In America, specifically, lobster was fed to prisoners and there’s historical accounts of riots being started over it.  

Heck, less than forty years ago, no one lived on the coast but poor people. That’s why there’s historical communities of black people living on the southeastern islands in the US and why my father grew up in the swamps of Alabama during the 50s and 60s. 

The gentrification of coastal property and seafood, like lobster, is a very recent phenomenon in human history, starting in the late 70s early 80s with the booming tourism industry and increasing globalization.   

So while I understand that the joke here is meant to be reflective of our current understanding of lobster being a status symbol, in universe, it’s the equivalent of Eugene getting excited for chicken nuggets instead of his usual bowl of cereal because the story takes place before the 20th century.  

This means that these kids are so poor that fucking mcdonald’s fast food would be considered a rare treat compared to the slop they usually eat. Yet again what is meant to be a lighthearted joke turns suddenly dark when you stop to think about it for all of two seconds all because the writers are so flippant about their world and characters. 

This Wasn’t Planned Out, So the Timeline Doesn’t Add Up Anymore and Resources are Wasted

Remember the flashback in The Return of Strongbow?

Now I need you to remember that season three is two years later from season one and the movie. Eight years ago then, would be ten years ago now. 

The Eugene and Lance in the bottom picture is suppose to be roughly the same age as the Eugene and Lance in the top picture; give or take a few months. 

I know teenage boys can grow fast, but not that fast. 

Eugene at 16 looks the same as he does at 26. All because the writers were too lazy to preplan things out ahead of time. 

We should have seen the teen models with recasted voices back during that first flashback if they were going to tell this story later. Or the previous plot point should have been less than eight years ago. 

In fact the first flashback no longer makes any sense being so many years ago given Eugene’s engagement and recent breakup with Stalyan, and the later reveal that he was working for the Baron during the original movie. 

Sloppy planning like this not only makes for a confusing timeline but it also wastes limited resources. I like the new models, I like the actors cast for these younger roles, and I do like the concept of seeing more of Eugene’s past. But going through all of that trouble and money for what amounts to one throw away episode is mismanagement of the budget and work schedule.  

Baby Varian Is the Episode’s Only Saving Grace 

I know people are divided on the deign here. Some love it and some hate it, but that’s a personal taste thing. The actual scene itself is golden either way, because it’s such a funny eater egg. Fans on both sides made memes out of this for days. It’s legendary. 

Personally I’m more in the ‘love it’ camp, though I can see the issues people have with the design. My main defense of it is more the fact that we got kid designs for the other OCs in the show and it’s only fair Varian got one as well. The fact that he’s in smaller versions of the S1 clothes doesn’t bother me anymore than when Lance ran around for two seasons in the same outfit, including when he was a kid. 

So if I like it, then why am I talking about it a salt review? 

Cause the most memorable part of an episode shouldn’t be a throw away gag! 

People bring up baby Varian way more than they do about anything else in the episode, and no it’s not just because the character popular. It’s because most would like to forget what comes after this scene. 

Where is Quirin, by the Way?

Why is your six year old son running around the big city unsupervised?

This wouldn’t get talk about as much it wasn’t for the fact that Quirin being neglectful in season one was a motivating factor in his conflict with Varian. A conflict that was suppose to be resolved back in Rapunzel’s Return but we the audience have yet to visually see any difference in behavior since then.  

Quirin’s absence here in the past highlights his absence in the present day and reminds the audience aware that we’ve not been given a satisfying conclusion to one of the most important arcs in the series.  

Lets Talk About Wasted Potential 

Like I said, I like the idea of exploring Eugene’s past. But we should have gotten that back in season two when it was more relevant. Part of why this episode fails is because Eugene has reached the end of his original character development. He’s now on an identity crisis arc which has nothing to do with this episode.  

But you know who still hasn’t finished developing? Rapunzel. 

Rapunzel has lots to still learn and viewing her past through outside eyes could have turned this story into something really special. Especially with the ‘inhabiting another body’ plot point. 

You have no end of options here, 

Have Raps inhabit Cassandra’s body for a day and gain insight into what motivates her. It could have been either before or after they met, both offers up possibilities. 

Have Raps inhabit Eugene’s body and experience what he had to deal with growing up and come to see his point of view. (This could have also worked with the Sabbingtons set up had the writers not been stupid.) 

And my personal favorite, send her back to right after Queen for a Day and have her stuck in either Varian’s or Ruddiger’s bodies. Force her to see what she did to him and have her acknowledge she was wrong. 

And those are just the most obvious choices, there’s other more out of left field things you can do that would still work with good writing. Like exploring Lady Caine’s past, inhabiting Arianna’s body and learning how to be a real queen, get dumped into actual young Gothel and lay out clues to the future Zhan Tiri plot, or possess one of the Brotherhood and experience the final days of the Dark Kingdom; the list just goes on and on and on. 

But I Thought You Didn’t Put Kids in Jail Frederic?

Remember that Raps and Pascal are possessing the Stabbingtons who are still teenagers here. They can’t be much older than Varian. 

This means that Varian isn’t some special case. Teens have received harsh and deadly punishments in the past for non-violent crimes like theft. 

Also teens are called kids still by the majority of the cast. They’re aren’t considered adults with the same rights as someone in say their twenties, yet they can be punished the same as an adult would. Which is horrendous in any time period. 

So in conclusion, Frederic is a fucking liar! 

Tangled the Series can’t decide if it’s in the far past or a reflection of the modern day. As such it winds up supporting the worst of both worlds. Barbaric practices like hanging for minor crimes and prison slave labor are treated as the norm and never called out for the horrific things that they are; treated as a joke even, but we’re suppose to accept that this world also somehow views adolescence through the lens of late 20th century sensibilities even as it forces minors to go through such atrocities. 

Like what are you trying to say show? What is your message on the transition of adolescence to adulthood regarding rights and responsibilities? And don’t tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ because this is suppose to be a coming of age show! That’s the entire premise of the series! 

So How Old Are Stan and Pete Again?

I was always under the impression that Pete was a newbie guard, closer to Cass and Eugene’s age than say Cap or Frederic. That’s why he screws up so much because he’s inexperienced, why he seemed to be the closest thing to a equal colleague Cass had in the guard when she was also just starting out, and why I assumed those braided girls from the movie were his sisters. 

I mean there was nothing on screen previously that would necessarily contradict this reveal, it just doesn’t feel right, that’s all. I guess he could be like 20 here and be 30 in the show. That would make him only a few years older than Eugene, but still doesn’t explain why he’s so useless a decade later. 

I’m fine with Stan being here though. I always thought of him being the older of the two. In fact I headcannon Willow as his mysterious wife that he talked about back in Monty’s episode during season one. (She’s Stan and Pete’s beard, and they’re totally in a open poly relationship. That’s why they’re allowed to stay in the royal guard despite being so incompetent cause they’re technically Ferderic’s in-laws and Rapunzel’s uncles. Just no one ever talks about it cause it’s a minor sandal for a princess to marry lower class and Willow’s hardly ever there.) 

And Why Does Xavier Have All Those Plot McGuffins? 

I know we’ll never get an answer, but at this point Xavier’s exposition fairy powers border upon ridiculousness. It’s just lazy and a waste of character. 

So How Does Time Travel Work In This?

There are three types of time travel stories in fiction. 

First is the ‘Changeable Past, Changeable Future’. You see this in Back to the Future. What you do in the past will change the future, i.e. your present. You may or may not remember that you did it, but be warned you could change things too much and break stuff. Like erasing yourself from existence, or ruining your love life ect. The only way to fix it is to go back in time again and change stuff again. But beware of paradoxes or you may destroy the universe altogether.  

The second is the ‘Alternate Timeline’, where changing things creates new realties and it’s a matter of finding the right reality again. The tv show Sliders is a great example of this. Each new timeline is a different dimension. What you do in one won’t effect your original point of origin, only that particular world. The challenge if often getting home again because the probable diverging timelines are infinite and the changes of getting back are a zillion to one. 

Third is the ‘Closed Time Loop’. No matter what you do nothing will change. The future is inevitable and whatever you do in the past was always meant to happen anyways. Gargoyles handles this really well. You can also have ‘fix points’ where certain important things are set in stone but small things can be changed like in several Doctor Who episodes. Braking a fix point breaks the universe once again, while paradoxes are often the solution rather than the threat. 

So which type of time travel is Tangled dealing with here? 

Scenes like the conversation regarding Pete’s and Stan’s mustache or the ones involving Eugene working on his smolder suggest a closed time loop. Yet the ending to this episode reveals a changed future. Further still the grandfather paradox revolving around the hourglass would make you think an alternate timeline yet, we’ve no indication that anything else changed other then Eugene’s opinions on Cass, and Raps shows no concern about getting back to her original point in time indicating that it actually isn’t another dimension.... so what is it then? 

You don’t have to have a tightly plotted time travel story to have an entertaining piece of media. Endgame is riddled with plot holes and contradicts itself constantly, but what it lacks in coherent plot it makes for with fun characters, emotional story beats, and good pacing that manages to balance the action with the drama while hiding the cracks just enough that you don’t lose immersion. 

Tangled however fails at even this because it gets the character beats so fundamentally wrong.  Like you may dislike where the characters ended up in Endgame, but can’t say that those developments didn’t match the characters’ previous storylines and logical trajectory. Tony finally becomes the selfless hero by committing the ultimate sacrifice, Steve learns self care as a mirror to Tony’s arc as they were always parallels to each other, Bruce learns to accept himself, Thor processes his grief and lets go of the role he was assigned at birth but never truly fit into, and Nat becomes the leader she was destined to be rather than the sidekick.  

What happens to the characters in this episode however makes no sense. 

This is Another Missed Opportunity to Explore Eugene’s Past

The other problem behind the episode is that we don’t actually learn anything new. If you’re going to promise a story focusing on Eugene’s past then I expect to actually glean some new insights. 

We still don’t know why he’s working with Baron or how he fell in/fell out with him, what his relationship with Stalyan is like, how he became so cynical; not just the general basics, like the orphanage, but that point in his life where decided that survival meant giving up his morals and ethics; where did he first learn his better ethics that he originally suppressed (cause it sure as heck wasn’t Rapunzel), and when did he and Lance become separated? 

This are questions that series decides to raise by making allusions to them and building conflicts off of them but never wants to explain the details of where they originated from. It’s super frustrating and wholly unnecessary.  If you didn’t think the story of Eugene’s past worth telling then why did up repeatedly bring it up Chris? 

Why Are You Surprised by This Rapunzel?

Rapunzel you know Eugene’s past. You know what he used to be like. You were literally there in the movie and saw him being an ass before this. You didn’t start to like him until he dropped his guard down in the flooded cave back when you both where about to die. 

You fell in love with him when he showed you his real self and he fell in love with you when you proved that you were accepting of that. You earned each others’ trust. This here; angrily yelling at him and judging him, when you’re already hiding who you really are from him both literally and figuratively, is a breaking of that trust. 

Who the fuck are you any more, Rapunzel? 

Cause you’re not the same character from the movie. You’re not even the same character from season one. But whoever hell you are now, it’s not an improvement I can tell ya that. 

So How Did The Hourglass Go From the Treasury to the Basement Storage, and How Would Raps Know It Was There At This Point and Time?

I’m guessing the implication here is that Crowley put Cass’s stuff in the vault, but like why the fuck would she do that? We’re not talking about a family attic here, but the royal safe. The most heavily guarded room in the castle with the kingdom’s most priceless treasures and antiques. Nothing Cass owned was that valuable.  

Rapunzel Is Full of Shit

Oh let me count the numerous ways in which this whole lecture is stupid. 

Rapunzel left Varian behind. Rapunzel left Varian behind multiple times, including that time he was thrown in jail. She was not a good friend, and no, this is not a case of her learning from her past because not once has she ever admitted that she was wrong to do that. So this scene just makes Raps look like a hypocrite. 

Eugene does not need to relrean a lesson on being a better a person. He did that during the movie and has progressed beyond that point. This ‘lesson’ is a waste of time and a misuse of the characters.

This reframes Rapunzel as being in the right during her argument with older Eugene at the beginning of the episode, even though she’s not. In fact this is such a counterintuitive plot point that it boggles the mind. Who structures a narrative this way? Why so blatantly point out how the main character is wrong if not to have her learn something? Why frame the story to make the person who’s personal conflict isn’t even the episode’s focus, into the one who needs to learn something? Especially if that something is already a lesson that they’ve learned on screen beforehand.

And why, oh good heavens why, would you teach children such a toxic message? Like on the surface it sounds like something you’d hear in a children's show, but the context of it is justifying harmful behavior where you selfishly ignore other people’s wishes and boundaries just to satisfy you’re own personal desires.  

And finally, Eugene and Lance do not work as a parallel to Raps and Cass. Cassandra is an adult who left of own free will. Lance is a teenager who was arrested due to Rapunzel’s own actions. Eugene isn’t the one who is responsible here, its Rapunzel. Who also left them both behind in her carelessness. Secondly, Eugene’s decisions are spurned by years of trauma and a healthy fear of dying, while Rapunzel’s is wrapped up in her own need to always be right and to keep her immature and fanciful outlook of the world intact. As harsh as it seems, what Eugene did was based off a predetermine agreement and presumably Lance would have acted the same way or been pressured to act the same way by Eugene. In short, Eugene’s cynical world view as a teen is not the source of his disagreement with Rapunzel but an adult perspective back by common sense and a respect of others choices. It makes no sense for present day Eugene to ‘learn’ anything from this misadventure that he didn’t already know and for Rapunzel to not learn anything that would actually tie the parallel together. 

Locking Another Teen Inside a Jail Cell With Another Adult as a Joke, Does Not Erase the Inappropriateness of Varian’s Story

The episode tries to add another joke about Shorty sneaking into the prison without the guard knowing, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact someone had to have tossed Lance in there with him on purpose. Otherwise Lance wouldn’t have assumed Shorty was a fellow prisoner if he or the guard that locked him up saw Shorty sneak in before then. 

Furthermore Lance’s nonchalant response suggests this is not an out of the ordinary occurrence. Nor do any of the other guard comment upon the irregularly of teens being jailed with an adult. Now add in the fact that the show fails to clarify that previous ‘cellmate’ line from Rapunzel’s Return and now gives us more confirmation that Varian was underfed and malnourished for a year with that gruel joke and you have a horrifying picture. 

Shorty might be non-threating, but that doesn’t mean Andrew, a known attempted murderer and manipulator, is too. Nor any other adult who previously was housed with a teen before then. This is still very much not okay and no amount of ‘jokes’ will suddenly make it right.  

Raps, Who is an Adult, Just Physically Threatened Two Teenaged Boys and It’s Played as a Joke.... 

How many times do I have to say it? Humor does not fix bad writing. I’m not laughing when a heroine at age 20, threatens a couple of kids for merely annoying her. Especially when said heroine has a history of abusing children; because let me repeat once again, neglect is abuse!

This is a Lie

No you wont. 

Rapunzel never tells Eugene what happens on screen. I suspect that if she ever did, they would no longer be together, because what she wound up doing here was a violation of trust and boundaries in the worst possible way.  

And This is Now a Time Paradox 

A Grandfather Paradox to be specific. How can Rapunzel be here in the past to break the hourglass if the hourglass that sent her here is broken? 

In a competent series this would be the point of a future conflict and not the actual resolution. It’s not a closed time loop because of the paradox and the changes we’ll see in the future. 

So either she’s in an alternate timeline/dimension and just doesn’t gives a shit; leaving the real Eugene, Lance, Cass, ect. to go on without her; or she’s just broke the universe and everything is slowly unraveling around her; galaxies are dying as she whines about being dumped, people in the future are being eased from existence, and God is cursing her name for ruining his creation, all the while she carries on oblivious to the destruction in her wake, as usual. 

That’s it. Those are you’re only two options now. Is everyone from here on a fake copy or is Rapunzel the damned destroyer of worlds? You decide. 

So This Confirms That the Stabbingtons are Indeed “Family”

Another reason why I place this before Return of the King; it explains why Eugene considers the Stabbingtons ‘family’. Though if it was Rapunzel he actually bonded with and not the real Sideburns, then how much of his feelings are real and how much of them were fabricated by her? How much agency did this episode steal from him?

So What Exactly Did We All Change?

Well the dummy no longer has Eugene’s face, but Cass’s painting of the three of them still has him ripped out of the photo, soo... Keeping in mind that Raps painted the dummy anyways and considering that Moonandra tries to kill him later on; I’m going to guess that Cass’s feelings weren’t actually altered. If anything their relationship might actually be worse now, cause Cassandra keeps acting like she’s never had friends and Eugene has taken up Rapunzel’s blind devotion. 

All that development in season one is just, poof, gone. Also it’s quite possible that the first movie as well has now it has been erased from existence as Eugene got his needed character development eight years too early. How the hell that’s suppose to work, I don’t know. 

Outside of the that we get no confirmation how anybody else was effected, even though a more brainwashed Eugene running around would undoubtedly have caused a butterfly effect. Don’t expect that to be explored anytime soon. 

Though, it would explain why he’s suddenly such a doormat in season three, if this was the second episode as theorized. 

No! This is the Wrong Lesson!!!

Let me explain narrative promises. 

Everyone, on some basic fundamental level, understands how stories work. We hear them recounted to us over and over again from the day we're born to the day we die. It’s integral to how we communicate as human beings. Everyone knows innately how to tell a story even if that person couldn’t tell you how stories or structured or what certain literary terms mean, but they do it every day just through speaking. And while most audiences can’t always pin point what upsets them about a story they can for sure notice when things are off and not satisfying to experience. 

Now that doesn’t mean that everyone can write an awarding winning novel, that study of a craft isn’t important, nor that every amateurish critique thrown at any given media is valid. But it does mean that people have come to expect certain storytelling practices and can pick up on narrative cues. We’ve familiarized ourselves with the language of film, novels, comics, ect, into order to comprehend what’s going on. 

Rules of writing are just following that established language so that the audience can keep up. You can break these rules, sure, but unless you know what you’re doing and have a good narrative reason to do so, then you can easily lose you’re audience. And if you’re making money off said audience that’s something you want to avoid. 

A narrative promise is a cue; a set up that lets the audience know that ‘hey this is important, pay attention to this cause it’ll come back into play later’. Now that the audience has been alerted to the plot point they expect fulfillment of the promise. If you break that promise, either through poor set up, lack of follow through, or by breaking an established convention of writing for no other reason then because you just wanted to, your audience is going to walk away unsatisfied. 

The argument at the beginning of the episode was a narrative promise. It was a cue that set up the interpersonal conflict of the main character. For add context, I know that this is a coming of age story. Convention would dictate that the protagonist would resolve this conflict by learning they were wrong. 

That’s not what happened here. 

Convention was subverted. It wasn’t the protagonist who grew and change, it was the person they were in conflict with who did. And it wasn’t subverted because of any greater narrative reason, or future pay off, or even as effort to be shallowly ‘clever’; it was subverted because the author just didn’t want to hold the main character accountable for anything. Because said character has now become his avatar for his wish fulfillment fantasy and having the main character admit fault would be to admit fault in ones own self. Rapunzel doesn’t feel like Rapunzel this season because she’s just Chris in a wig. 

The episode broke a narrative promise to the audience; both within the episode and in the greater premise of the story, because of ego. 

I don’t claim this episode is bad just because of personal taste nor because I find it morally repulsive (even though both those things are true), I call it bad because it exhibits bad writing. Plain and simple. 

Way To Undermine The Entire Point of the Original Movie, Show

Speaking of breaking narrative promises.... 

TTS is suppose to be a squeal to the original movie. It’s even in the title of the show; both of them. In one fell swoop, the series has managed to sabotage it’s very reason for existing, as it erases Eugene’s motivation and the inciting incident that kick started the film. 

 Way to fucking go. 

To further twist the knife, it diminishes the duel protagonist of said film in order to prop up a series original character, who isn't even present in the episode itself. 

I don’t mind Cassandra’s existence. I don’t even mind her being the new deuteragonist and one of the main villains; even though she wouldn’t have been my first pick to fulfill those roles given her lack of set up. But I do fucking mind it if she upstages other characters and/or derails their character arcs in the process. 

This is the Death of New Dream 

I was still in denial when this episode first aired. I honestly believed that this and The Return of the King was build up to a third “betrayal” where Eugene finally became fed up with Rapunzel’s bullshit and joined forces with Zhan Tiri. I thought the end of the series would have Rapunzel apologize to everyone she did wrong, Varian, Cass, and Eugene, in order to break ZT’s hold on them, and that true love’s kiss would reunite the sundrop and the moonstone and that would just tie everything together into a neat little bow and give us a truly daring character study of a Disney hero. 

Oh dear merciful heavens, was I ever wrong.  

How did we go from season one’s challenging and mature storyline, complete with Disney’s first real anti-villian, to this?! 

What the hell happened!? 

Rapunzel not only disrespects Eugene’s opinions, violates his privacy and trust as she manipulates him as a teen, and then brainwashes him to think like her (even if accidentally), but doesn’t even have good grace to tell him. She instead has the audacity to look all happy and self congratulatory because she got want she wanted. She, and the show at large, doesn’t care what evil thing she does to get the desired outcome Rapunzel wants. 

Rapunzel in this show is a spoiled brat. And the image of her and her now lobotomized boyfriend staring dead eyed at a picture of the creator’s previous waifu OC with plastic smiles on their faces, sums up this series perfectly. 

Conclusion 

This isn’t even the worst episode of the series guys. I don’t know if it would even make it onto a bottom five list. That’s how much crap I have to wade through when it comes to this show. This is however the most damaging episode to the franchise as a whole. 

Not even the most hardcore of New Dream fans want to acknowledge the existence of that final scene, and Rapunzel stans won’t defend her beyond, ’well she didn’t mean too, it’s the writing that’s bad.’ Yeah, the writing is bad, that’s why the character can’t and shouldn’t be defended, not here and not in other badly written episodes where she also does bad things and never makes up for it. 

Anyways I’m finally caught up to where I left off, before the move, though sadly I don't think I’ll get this series done by the end of the month like I had originally hoped. But if you would like to help out I have a ko-fi you can drop a tip into if ya want. 

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

[jacscorner]

Pokemon All-Stars: A Fan Region/Game/Alternate Universe Idea

I like watching and rewatching Original Pokemon Game/Region videos. Like Mr. Buddy's "What if X was a Pokemon Region" and stuff like that. I wanna make-or, I guess, write-my own. Since Regions are kind of a character all their own and I'm a Wannabe Character Artist, I wanted to try and make one my own.

I've got no skills in coding, pixel arts, or anything, so this will forever be just some kind of dumb fanfic that sometimes incorporates Game Mechanics to justify things if it were able, for some Godforsaken reason, 'stolen' for a game. Cause, in 2021, no idea feels too big or too dumb. And, uh, trust me, this'll be a dumb fanfic of an idea. So be aware for the subpar writing talents of some wannabe writer who doesn't know shit.

Small disclaimer though:

>This region is being made with the intention that every extra feature will be available in it. Z-Moves, Regional Variants, Gygantamax, Mega Evolutions, and maybe some things I've forgotten. This probably won't matter cause it's just a dumb fanfic plot bible with mechanics peppered in. Competitive balancing be damn! Pokemon Fans can create their own balance! That's what the Battle Simulator is for! In fact, if this was a real game, then it'd have a Battle Simulator like Showdown built into it.

>This is an open source Fanfic Bible. You can take this idea and run with it if you want. You can omit all my bad ideas even!

>I won't be making my own Fakemon. I don't like a lot of Fakemon that exists out there and, trust me when I say this: I am no better than them. In fact, I'm fucking worse.

>If this WERE a game, it probably WOULD still have to cut some Pokemon. I doubt that kinda, and I won't get into why I think dexit was dumb personally, cause it doesn't really matter. But, like, my fan game/fanfic will have a lot of shit going on in it. So, like, realistically, there would probably need to be a cut, if not for data, than just cause there's a lot of work to do as is. But, like, again, under the context of a fic, this wouldn't be an issue.

>With THAT said, I'd want this game to have a Gen 2 Sprite aesthetic. My fangame, don't care if ya'll don't like that.

>I'm probably gonna copy a LOT of stuff from other Fangames I've played. My shit memory probably won't allow me to remember what I'm biting from what, so be free to call me out whenever. Cause if I stole the mechanic, I probably liked it the game. And if not, well, I'd like the recommendation.

Fuck, this was long already. The rest is under the cut, so, like, if you're already turned off, you can stop reading. I understand. I'm kind of a windbag.

Okay, so how many of you guys have seen this picture on the internet? It's a picture of a ton of Pokemon regions all...basically stitched together, since not only could this never be canon, but this goes beyond the size of even most open world games today. But this was the inspiration for this project. The map probably wouldn't, and probably couldn't, look like this, but it perfectly sums up what I'd want out of this game. Thus, it'll be our placeholder.

Our hometown of Capricorn Town is home to Professor Chestnut, and you, her faithful assistant, are about to set off on a Pokemon adventure of your own! The Professor is encouraging you to see the region of Sidus for yourself and is even willing to give you a Starting Pokemon!

Starting Pokemon

Now, if I'm not making new Pokemon, which Starter will it be? Well, the game will have the data for all the starters and will randomly select a Grass, Fire, and Water Type for you to choose from. Those will be your starters, with the option of also choosing Pikachu, Eevee, and Riolu, the two mascot mons...and Riolu, who is kind of a mascot mon, but a lesser one.

Let's say for this example, your options are Torchic, Piplup, Rowlet, Pikachu, Eevee, and Riolu. And, uh, get used to the words 'random' and 'generator', those are our keywords.

Anyway, once you get your pick, there'll be some kind of tutorial mission the Professor will send you on. This will introduce you to two very important things;

1. One of your Rival.

2. An Evil Team Grunt.

Rivals?!

Now to start getting into why this game might still be pretty big still be big despite the sprites on modern consoles.

Each of your Rivals would be one kid from each region of the 8 Mainline Games from Kanto to Kalos. How this'll be decided is that each pair of kids will be plugging into a generator and will pick between either the boy or girl version.

Ex. Brendan and May both cannot be in the game. Instead, they'll be plugged into this generator. Let's say the generator fell onto May. She'll be one of your Rival. Repeat this process 7 more times until you have 8 Rivals sprinkled throughout the world, each one given a defined personality and better AI to make them harder trainers to fight.

May will have one of the Hoenn Starters, sans Torchic. Regardless of whether or not Protagonist-San picked Torchic, May will either have a Treecko or Mudkip, again, chosen at random per kid. Whichever Starter you picked, your first rival will have a starter that beats yours. So, let's say moving forward, May has a Mudkip and you a Torchic. The other kids will have random starters of the various regions they originally hail from.

Anyway, your rivals will wander the overworld. If they see you, they'll battle you on sight. If they lose, they'll be gone after the next time you turn the game off. They won't battle you again until they respawn, but you can hang out with them. In fact, you can even recruit them to be in your party for a few days and they'll follow you around and just generally be your friend. It'll make every battle a double battle, but they'll battle you again before their timer runs out, so be prepared!

BANG! BANG! ENTER! Team Wild!

The two of you will have to face off against Team Wild! They have a Cowboy theme to them, using a mix of Ground and Steel-Types, with a few Pokemon being added in for good measure like the Ponyta Lines, Cacnea Line, and Remoraid. Cause...it's a gun.

They're an outlaw gang, they're rough and tough (or, at least, a mild threat) and will always throw down when they spot ya. Something I'm just sniping from JelloApocalypse is that they'll appear sporadically and act as Timed Events across the map.

You and your new Rival beat them and send you packing. I'd imagine May and the other Rivals would mostly be friendly, but I'm sure there's one or two that'll just be jerks to you. Regardless of personality, they'll be pretty tough and programmed to skill with you. Your strongest mon you have on hand when you fight them will be the level their entire team.

With your tutorial done, the world is opened up! Your mom gives you your running shoes, some Pokeballs, and your...I don't know, PokeCelular or something, just the regional gadget that does a bunch of stuff. From holding your map to holding your VS Seeker.

The PokeCelular will also give you notifications on where Team Wild are! You can choose to ignore the events, but if you do, then they'll start to appear in the overworld know and will get progressively stronger.

A Balancing Act

This game will be an open world, 8-Bit Sprite Game for you to explore after you leave Capricorn!

So how do we balance that?

Well, we got our Rival out of the way already, so let's move on. Gym Leaders will have a pretty linear progression. However, regardless of which Gym you tackle first, they'll all be at the same level.

It doesn't matter if you decide to go across the map and battle the Bug Gym, he'll stay at Level 10, just like the Normal Gym. Whe you get the second badge, they'll all jump to Level 15. NPC Trainers will follow the same progression; the higher your badge number, the stronger the number of Pokemon they'll be.

Wild Pokemon will also get stronger. The more badges you get, it'll attract stronger wild Pokemon because they'll see you're stronger and will come out more.

The overworld will also have various dungeons in them that'll be Level Locked. Say, you go through a forest and you're just trying to reach the end of a maze. The Trainers and Pokemon will function the same as I've mentioned before. But, you can decide to go deeper into the dungeon. These Pokemon will be level locked, usually something of a high level, because this is a more dangerous part of the dungeon. But, there'll be some goodies down there, like rarer Pokemon and some kind of really rare and good item like a TM or something.

How will you traverse? Well, first of all, HMs? They're semi-back. BUT, instead of having to deal with teaching Cut to a Pokemon, you just need the move Cut and a Pokemon that can use the move and you'll be able to use Cut. A few other Pokemon that are reasonable candidates, but don't get cut, will be allowed to do this too. Like, Gallade can use Cut. It can't learn the move, but just holding the HM will get the job done.

Controversial opinion, but I think I've always liked the idea of HMs. On paper, they give you a reason to explore the world and go back to areas you couldn't before for goodies and make for a good way to get off dungeons until you get the needed item. Even something like Cut can be used to open up new areas for exploration for your squad of mons.

BUT, well, HMs suck. As moves, they suck save for, like, 2...MAYBE and they're only for, like, a handful of areas. You either hand them out as evenly as possible, forcing mons to take moves you don't wanna use, or you just get an HM Slave or two to use 'em all. But like they, they serve their function and all you need is the Pokemon in question and NOT teach them the move. If you need a Move Deleter just so people aren't stuck having to use Rock Smash for three towns, then there's a problem with your RPG. Imagine playing Final Fantasy and you had to give your Fighter the Bronze Axe to get through a forest and still had to fight with it, even though you got a +12 Silver Sword! It's no wonder people hated these things! But I don't think getting rid of them and introducing Rental Pokemon was a good solution either and adds a different, albeit less intrusive problem.

Gym Leaders

So, how do Gym Leaders work?

Much like your rivals, they'll be randomly generated. Let's say, hypothetically, there's a pool of 60 Gym Leaders and Elite Four members. The game will randomly generate 16 to be Gym Leaders. The generator will have some kind of complicated math (at least, too complicated for me) so that you don't have more than 2 gyms of the same type. (Example: Misty and Nessa might be Active Gyms, Siebold can't be selected for a Gym cause the Water Slots are taken).

As a trade off, some Gyms might have special conditions before you can challenge them. Like, if you got stuck with Koga as a Gym Leader, than he'll only let you in if you complete a nearby dungeon and help his daughter out cause he doesn't trust her to make it back on her own. Or, like, Claire's a Gym Leader, but she won't battle you unless you've collected 7 Gym Badges prior at least.

The Gym Leaders, as mentioned before, will get progressively stronger with each badge obtained. After the 8th badge, you can go and climb Victory Road, face the E4 and confront the Champion! You can keep hunting Gym Leaders, but just remember that the E4 will always be 10 Levels above the strongest gym you beat. And they'll just get stronger with every one you beat until all 16 are slain.

Another handful, let's say 8, Gym Leaders/E4 Members will be wondering around as NPC Trainers. The justification is that this big super region is in some Alternate Universe Pokemon Game that has all the Pokemon and other important trainers in it, hence why we can have a game where Roxanne and Lenora are hanging out at a coffee shop. They're not Rivals, more like stronger NPCs you can rematch and wonder the map. They're not here to be the very best like no one ever was.

I mean, I'd like, like, 10-20 instead of 8 extras, but let's not get TOO greedy...yet...

Elite Four

And now, it's time to flip the script. Cause if E4 members can be Gym Leaders, then who are the Elite Four?

Easy. The Rivals.

All the Rival characters will be put in a random generator as well. The four that are chosen. You can have an Elite Four made up of Wally, Marnie, Hau, and Barry and you gotta deal with it.

This is excluding Brendan and May, Blue, and Calem and Serena. Anyone else is fair game.

Champion

So, the Champion. Who would it be in this? There was a funny idea I had, but this is a Pokemon Game. So there would be two versions. We'll call them Pokemon Dawn & Dusk. The difference between these games is the game Champion!

Benga would be the Champion of Pokemon Dusk, the grandson of Alder! His final Team will include Volcarona, Garchomp, and Dragonite, Pokemon he used in Black and White. I'd also include Scrafty, Rampardos, and Golurk, Pokemon used against you in White Treehollow and Black Tower areas.

Meanwhile, the Champion of Pokemon Dusk will be Zinnia, the Lorekeeper! Her team would include the Goodra, Tyrantrum, Altaria, Noivern, and Salamence she used in her original team, with her plucky Whismur sidekick becoming an Exploud and her ace.

You would've met them in the beginning of the game and would've showed off a bit by helping you with Team Wild before. They'll pop in and out throughout the game, at first amused by your tenacity, but not wanting a rookie like you to get hurt. But if you keep bonking Team Wild, they'll be impressed with how strong you are.

The show up to chat again when you beat 8 Gym Leaders, and will pop in if you White Out to give you some advice. White Out three times and they'll feel bad for you and give you an egg. Benga will give you a Larvesta Egg and Zinnia a Bagon Egg.

EXTRAS

So I don't got a lot of ideas for the Post Game, but there is one idea I thought would be cool if, if after you defeat the champion, they give you a call. They'll tell you that there are strong trainers wondering the Overworld and to be careful.

Because dotting the overworld will be Champions passed and proper! Cynthia, Blue, Lance; all of them are rocking Lv 100 Teams and are out for blood. They won't challenge you, but if you talk to them, there will be no backing out of the battle! You come with your A-Game!

sI'm not exactly in love with the idea of Team Wild. Maybe the Evil Team should go full fanservice and just be Team Rainbow Rocket. Or maybe go half-and-half; having past Evil Team members and leaders walk around in cowboy gear and acting as Team Wild executives.

I'd also would love Tournaments. Like, maybe that could be a weekly event in some town, they'll how tournaments and the characters that aren't designated as Gym Leaders and such will attend. Maybe there's a cash prize, maybe you'll win Pokemon Eggs of rare, guaranteed shines, or maybe you'll get some kind of important quest items.

Yeah, I want quests! All sorts of side quests! And can't forget what I'd do with Legendairs;

If you know Bengal's team, you'll know he's got the Lati Twins. I don't like that personally and would prefer Legendaries to be Super Bosses. Like, you gotta do a lot to find them. And when you do, their stats are boosted and they become an Uber Boss! You catch them in a cutscene after you beat them!

There's also just a ton of characters I didn't get around to or really have a place for. Emma, Looker, N, and the Stat Trainers all come to mind. Overall, I'd want them to pepper the world as well, but don't have anything to say except this: Pokemon has made a lot of memorable characters. Both good and bad. And this is probably my dream Pokemon Game; one where you can hang out with your favorites

[honhonluigi]

I'm curious. You've said you dislike religion (which is valid as fuck and I have the same opinion), but if that's the case then why is Angie one of your favorite characters?

(I don't mean anything offensive or anything by this, by the way! If it makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete it.)

No, no, man, I totally get it. I’m sure it looks confusing from the outside. I can explain myself no problem. 

I guess it’s probably important to give a little explanation of why I hate religion so much, because it’ll make more sense then. I don’t hate religion because I’m an atheist. I am an atheist because of evidence and facts. Because I want to draw my conclusions based on fact and evidence. If I saw what I thought was undeniable proof of any god’s existence, I’d change my mind. Nah, I hate religion because I was raised in a cult. Not like a “my parents were heavily evangelical/strict” way. My parents were actual official members in an actual cult, listed as a cult by government officials (though they’re considering removing it from the list which would be a supremely bad idea.) You look up all the fucked up things that cults do? Those lists of “How To Tell If You’re In A Cult?” You’re describing this religion to a tee. It gets an A+ in every aspect of cultism. It wasn’t a cape-and-fire-chanting-in-the-woods cult. Those aren’t real. This was a Christian-based cult. (Most real-life cults are. Aside from like...Scientology maybe?) But they weren’t just Christians who took it seriously, like I said. It was a separate cult religion and the entire religion is officially cited as a cult. It was just Christianity-based. See if you can guess what it is. Based on the clues I gave I’d say there’s like...two choices. 

Anyway, that’s why I hate religion. Because I’ve seen and suffered first-hand all the damage that religion can cause innocent people. Not just in religious wars and acts of prejudice, but just in individual thought and life control aspects and so much fucking trauma. In torment and guilt and wasted years. In passed opportunities and ended relationships and sexual repression. Religion sucks. (In my opinion, all religions are fundamentally cults at their core. Or they would be, if the worshippers actually adhered strictly to the rules that they made. Which they usually don’t, hence why most mainstream religions aren’t thought of as cults.) I hate religion for the core principles of ‘sinning’, hell/heaven/paradise, good vs evil, thought-crime, religion-over-family, faith, not thinking for yourself, and believing whatever you’re told. That’s so damaging. But I don’t hate religion just because “lol it’s so stupid, I can’t believe people believe that shit!” or “religion is just too mainstream for me!” I can see why people would believe that in the old days, when things couldn’t be explained by science. I hate all religions, even the non-mainstream ones like wicca and shit. And I actually think studying ancient religions is really interesting. It’s an aspect of culture, and I can respect that. 

What does this have to do with my opinion of Angie? A lot, actually. I didn’t just go off on a religion rant for no reason. 

So, for starter’s, I don’t hate religion because I think it’s “too stupid to be believable” or that being religious is “too mainstream”, like I said. I don’t look down on religious people for being stupid, gullible, or trend-followers (more on that later.) That means that I can still respect Angie as a person, even if she’s religious. That’s important to know going forward. 

But the main reason is, I hate religion, not religious people. I hate the institution of religion, any religion. I hate the ideas that it carries and the practices it puts into play. But Angie is not any of those things. She’s just a person. She’s not responsible for any of the things that any religion, including hers, will do. She just believes in it. She, as a person, is not the thing that is doing all the damage I hate so much. Maybe her religion is, but she as an individual is not. 

Religious people are victims. I know. I was there. 10 years ago, I was an indoctrinated, god-obsessed homophobe, shivering in anticipation of a doomsday when god slaughtered billions of sinners. I won’t say I was different, and I always knew something was wrong about religion. No, I believed like everyone else. I was indoctrinated as much anybody. Religious people can’t help what they believe. They are the victims of peer pressure, cultural expectations, propaganda, lack of information/education, deliberate thought control, family pressures, and many other factors. Trust me when I say: they really can’t control what they believe. That’s why it’s pointless to argue with them. Their beliefs don’t come from logic. They are all victims. And I see everyone in my former cult as a victim, not an enemy. They really can’t help it. I can’t express that enough. 

So it’s not Angie’s fault that she’s so deeply ingrained in a religion. It’s not a character flaw for her, and it doesn’t make her evil or bad. In fact, it makes me like her more. I feel sorry for her. I sympathize with her. I was exactly where she was when I was 13. I know to everyone else, Angie’s religion is just a caricature or a joke. But to me, it makes her character deeper, more interesting, and sadder. 

Also, Angie’s not a cultist. Oh, this one makes me so mad. Everyone who says “Angie is in a cult!” or “Angie became a cult leader!” has absolutely no idea what an actual cult is like. The DR writers don’t know. The fans don’t know. It’s nothing like what Angie does. She never becomes a cult leader. Trust me. I would fucking know. 

When she becomes Student Council President or w/e, the Student Council has nothing to do with her religion. She’s doing that because she believes she knows what’s best to stop people from killing each other. She’s not doing it because “my religion is right and you all need to convert!” Otherwise, she’d have done that at the start. The rules she makes, like the night time curfew, have nothing to do with religion. (Also, her rules about flashback lights and night time curfews were completely correct and were good ideas, but go off I guess.) Yeah, she might say “Atua told me to do this!” But all hyper-religious people credit their creativity, ideas, or achievements to god. Whether or not those had anything to do with religion. She’s doing it because she has ideas that she thinks can help, not because she wants to push her religion. 

Case in point: in order to join her Student Council, you don’t have to believe in Atua. You don’t have to convert. K1-B0 and Himiko make that choice, but Tsumugi and Tenko don’t. And Angie doesn’t care. You’re allowed to be one of their group without sharing Angie’s religion. And once Angie’s Student Council is in power, then what? Fucking nothing. She doesn’t force anyone else to convert to her religion either. Even the people who didn’t join the student council. They’re allowed to not believe. She never approaches them being like “you have to join my religion now that I’m in power.” And she still treats Shuichi and Kaito as politely and friendly as always. (Not Maki and Kokichi, but for obvious reasons. She was right not to trust Maki, after what they learned about her.) Angie not once ever uses her power to push or pressure or threaten or force anyone to worship Atua with her. It doesn’t happen. She’s not a cult leader. If she was, it wouldn’t be optional. There would be grotesque amounts of threats, social isolation, pressure, etc even to those in her own student council if they didn’t believe. I won’t go into detail here, but trust me, it would be so fucking different if her little group actually followed the criteria for being a cult. Even when Tenko goes behind Angie’s back and escorts Shuichi into the school after dark, Angie doesn’t threaten her or oust her. She forgives her. She doesn’t say “no one is ever allowed to talk to you again” or “you have to do a horrible punishment” or “you have to die”. She just...forgives her. Yeah, she insults her a little, but she has a right to be angry after being lied to, betrayed, and used by Tenko. Still, she forgives her. Also: Tenko being in the school after dark and Angie being upset at that has nothing to do with Angie’s religion at all. The rule of not being out after dark doesn’t either. 

Also, her actions before her rise to power weren’t culty either. Angie never pushed her religion on anyone. I hate people like that. People who want to force others to believe the way they do. They’re the fucking worst and the scum of the earth. Some of the worst, most evil people alive, in my opinion. Angie’s not like that. She only talked to people about her religion if they asked her. As she explained to Tenko “I wasn’t brainwashing anyone. I was just answering questions.” Himiko, Gonta, and K1-B0 asked her questions because they were curious about her religion. She answered them. When they showed interest, she kept talking to them about it. They were the ones who said they wanted to convert. She never even asked them. And then when they wanted to, she welcomed them with open arms. They approached her. All she did was speak openly and honestly with them. She never forced anyone to convert to her religion. She never even forced anyone to listen to her talk about her religion. When Kaede and Shuichi got uncomfortable about it and changed the subject, she let it fucking go. She stopped talking about it. She never made the first move when talking to someone about Atua. They always approached her first. That’s definitely not culty. That’s just a religious person being honest when they’re asked questions, or getting excited when someone shows genuine interest in their beliefs. Of course she would be excited. These are her friends, and she truly believes that her religion is correct. She would be happy to see them safely in it. In her eyes, it’s the only place where they’re safe. Also, if she was truly a bad religious person, she would think that everyone who didn’t convert to her religion deserved to die. Mark of cults. But she doesn’t. She loves all her classmates, tries to keep them safe, and prays for them when they do die. Also, she believes that they get into Atua’s kingdom simply for being good people, even when they don’t believe in him. That’s definitely not culty. A cult is like “everyone who doesn’t worship like you is always evil, and they always deserve to die, and if they don’t convert then they are not worth saving. If you don’t believe in our religion you will definitely be killed at judgement day no matter what.”

But, most importantly: Angie’s religion is not the only aspect of her character. Angie’s religion actually has nothing to do with my opinion of her. I like her because she’s cute, bright, hopeful, happy, and persistent. She’s kind and selfless and she tries her best to keep everyone happy. She’s confident in herself, even if other people ridicule her. She’s got an interesting twisted side to her, with her composure in the face of death and her desire for blood sacrifices. But that doesn’t stop her from being kind and friendly to everyone. And she’s surprisingly smart, in her own ways. And appropriately ruthless when going after her goals, which is always something I admire. (I loved that she was willing to turn on Himiko when it seemed obvious that Himiko was the culprit, instead of obnoxiously ignoring facts like Tenko. Um, hello? If Himiko is the culprit, you all die? And if she’s the culprit, she’s trying to kill everyone, which kind of gives Angie the right to revoke her friendship from Himiko, yeah?) Angie’s character goes so much deeper than her religion. As far as her religion influencing my opinion of her, it...doesn’t. I pretty much just ignore it. I love her for who she is, not what she believes. 

[magpiemorality]

Another request, if it's okay ofc, Canon or AU both are fine, Deceit and Remus both being interested in Patton and trying to gain his affections and being dramatic rivals. Patton is a bit obvious to it all at first but it ends with him cheerfully saying he likes them both so they both can become his boyfriends, they don't have to fight

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 AO3

Warnings: cursing, judgemental characters, a character dismissing polyamory as an option

***

“I just don’t know what to do!” Patton flopped down on his bed, keeping his phone up by his ear and pouting at the ceiling. 

On the other end, his best friend Remy sighed before replying. “Maybe you could just go and do something about the situation instead of always whining to me about your crazy lucky love life?!” he suggested. “Because gurl, you’re lucky! My dry spell has been over a week now and I’m starting to go mad-” 

Patton giggled and tuned out as Remy kept on complaining about his own lack of a dating life, twirling a curl around his finger and chewing on his lip thoughtfully. 

It was a pretty heavenly dilemma to have, really. It was just so gosh darn upsetting that Patton had to solve the whole thing by making a decision, instead of just riding the euphoria forever. 

The dilemma was this: Patton had two potential boyfriends and he was only allowed to choose one. 

On the one hand; Dexter O’Reilly was drop dead gorgeous, and climbing the social ranks fast by essentially just building his own and declaring it lord of them all. He was mysterious and exciting and surprisingly sweet, and he was a total bad boy. Patton’s parents would never approve (the fact their wholesome Mormon beliefs didn’t approve of most of his life choices notwithstanding…) but that just made it all the more exciting. Dex would be the type of guy that turned Patton from Sandy at the beginning of Grease; to Sandy at the end of Grease, and he was sorta tempted by the idea of a change. Being perfect all the time was a bit of a drag after a while. 

On the other hand there was Remus Duke. One of the defensive end’s of the football team, he was big and strong and, well he was a football player. Patton was a cheerleader. It was practically the law. And Remus was always smiling, always living his life loud and proud and defending his ideals no matter what it took. More than once Patton had heard of him getting into a fight because someone had said something rude to one of his friends, which should not have been as hot as Patton had found it, but gosh, loyalty was sexy okay?! Don’t judge him. Remus was not quite as much a bad boy as Dex was, but he filled the criteria nicely enough. 

Patton was completely torn. 

“-babes you’re not even listening to me, you complain about your dynamic duo all the time and you won’t even listen to me bitch about all the boys that don’t want to date me?!” 

“Gosh, sorry Rem. I just- I can’t help myself!” 

There was a moment’s silence before the sound of a cup being sucked nearly dry nearly burst Patton’s eardrum. “Hey, that’s not fair you promised not to do that without warning again!” 

“Babes, deal with it. Now I gotta go get ready for class, but I’ll speak to you soon. And Pat?” 

“Yeah?”

“Sort your head out soon. Rumour on the blog discord has it that Duke isn’t gonna wait for Prom anymore and wants to pop the question by Spring break. If you’re gonna pick him you’ll want to let the other one down gently before that happens, ‘kay?”

“Mm.”

“Okay babes, ciao!” 

“Ciao, Remy,” Patton mumbled, dropping his phone by his head and letting out a loud groan. Easier said than done. Especially when it wasn’t just his head that had high stakes in the matter; his heart was going all in. 

***

“Mr Duke, will you please focus?!” Dammit, had he been zoning out again? Fuck. Remus lifted his hand with an apologetic grin, turning back to the experiment his group had running on the counter in front of them. 

“How does she always know?” Toby muttered, eyeing their Chem 3 professor suspiciously. “I was totally covering for you dude, I swear. I know how you get.” 

Remus shot him a grateful smile, swirling the contents of a test tube until the mixture was evenly dispersed. “I know, it’s all cool. She’s just some kind of teaching cryptid, probably. Never doesn’t know every single thing happening in class…” 

“So what was it today? You need to run it off later?” Toby offered once they’d started the bunsen burner and set the timer, sitting back to watch and wait for the reaction. “Bad or good?”

“Oh, kinda… both? No running necessary, bro, thanks, but maybe, maybe some house rules mariokart after practice. It was Patton again.”

Toby winced in sympathy. “Our itty bitty pretty cheerboy has got you bad, Duke. What is this, year two, month three?” 

“Something like that. Do you think I should go back to the plan to wait for prom season? It’s just… that would be easy but then I’m wasting time and I already missed the winter formal chance and now there’s this other guy-”

“Wait what other guy?” Toby asked, leaning forwards to check the timer quickly. “There’s another guy?”

“Yeah, the fancy one. You know the one, he’s got the birthmark all over his face?”

“Huh, I thought you only liked the pretty ones-”

“Hey. We don’t make those jokes, remember? We’re better than that now. And besides, he’s not another guy for me, he’s another guy for Patton. They spent loads of time together over Winter break, and he’s like, super weirdly popular or something. Like a mob boss. He probably has way more to offer Patton than I do… Ow!” He glared at his friend, rubbing his shoulder. “What was that for?” 

“For shit talking my best friend. Besides dude, this could be your motivation, right? You need something to get you moving, because shit if you aren’t gonna do it on your own…” 

“Harsh, but fair.”

“So think of it like a competition. You’re good at those.”

Remus blinked, tilting his head. The timer went off before he could reply, so they tabled the conversation. He brought it back up again when they were on the field stretching before practice, eyes straying frequently over to the gym wall where he knew the cheerleaders were inside doing their own practice session. 

“So, about that competition idea… What did you have in mind?” He asked, attempting to be casual and failing. 

Toby grinned. “Alright, here’s the plan.”

***

“Here’s the plan,” Dex told himself sternly in the mirror. “You are going to go up to Patton and ask him if he wants to get coffee. You are going to go up to Patton and ask him if he wants to get coffee. Shit, no, he prefers tea…” 

He sighed, walked in a frustrated circle around his room and came back to the mirror, pushing his hair back and starting again. “You are going to go up to Patton and ask him if he wants to get tea. With you! You are going to- oh what is the point?” This whole exercise was useless. It hadn’t worked for the past three weeks- why would it work today? He was going to pass Patton on campus and give him the usual strained smile and mumbled greeting before hurrying on with his day, annoyed and frustrated and disappointed and another day closer to losing Patton to Remus Duke. 

Dex would rather die than let that neanderthal win. 

And based on the information he was gathering on his blog, he was running out of time to ensure that didn’t happen. Today was going to be crucial- if he could break his routine of failure that was… Maybe a new plan would help? He could take Patton’s favourite order with him and offer it to him when he saw him and use that as a conversation starter instead? Now, that sounded more achievable. 

The next morning Dex got up early to detour via the cafe, picking up his own and Patton’s orders and wandering through campus until he caught a flash of blond hair and a musical laugh. It all seemed to be lining up nicely until he caught sight of his rival approaching from the other side of the quad. Fuck no, Remus was not getting there first! 

Dex sped up, noticing Remus notice him and seeing the moment he clocked that this was turning into a race. The footballer’s legs were longer and stronger than his own, but Dex had the headstart, and he made it to Patton just in time to hold out the cup of tea with a hopeful smile and open his mouth to explain his offering, when Remus crashed into him and the two of them went sprawling on the ground. 

The drinks were spilled and Patton shrieked in surprise, trying to help them both up at the same time, and then apparently clocking that it was the two of them. He squeaked and went red, recoiling and running away, leaving the two boys to scowl at each other. 

Dex rubbed his hip where he’d fallen and Remus brushed himself, looking very unapologetic. “So, you’re Remus Duke. I’ve heard all about you…”

“Oh yeah? You scared, O’Reilly?” Remus shot back, rolling his eyes. “I don’t need to know shit about you to know I’m gonna be the successful one out of the two of us. I mean it’s the law right- cheerleader plus footballer equals happy ending?” 

“Back off Duke, you wouldn’t know how to treat him right anyway. He’s not a trophy to tick of your perfect life checklist!”

“No you back off- I saw him first! I liked him since freshman year, dude, this is just unfair of you.” 

Dear lord was Remus actually pouting? Dex looked at him scornfully. “Patton isn’t an object. He makes his own decisions. He will pick the better man.”

“Yeah he will. And I’m gonna show him that that’s me.” Remus said with a proud smirk. Dexter stared at him. “I’ve got a plan,” Remus elaborated cockily, and Dex really wanted to wipe that look off his face, but he had better things to do and a reputation to maintain. And a replacement coffee to buy, if he wanted to get through today’s classes. 

He lifted his chin and pulled his messenger bag higher up his shoulder with a scoff. “Well I look forwards to seeing what a brute like you can produce to woo a delight like Patton. In fact, I welcome the competition. It’ll make me look even better by comparison.”

Remus was back to scowling, and Dex tallied that as a win for himself. “I won’t even interfere, you’re going to fuck it up all by yourself, I’m sure. Just look at you,” he sniffed, looking Remus up and down with judgemental eyes. “You’re a mess, Duke. Bye now.” 

He turned to go, leaving Remus huffing and puffing behind him, speechless with fury. 

Things were off to a good start.

***

End of part 2 (woops this is going to be longer?)

[mafiabosstsuna]

Scenario with Tsuna, Hibari, Reborn on a mission & mistaking their future S/O's motorcycle for their getaway ride. They tell them to "drive, now" & the S/O glimpses the gun, panics, & races off. Is actually more than half-decent for a first-time getaway driver through narrow streets of Italy & losing angry pursuers with GUNS. Nothing seems to be amiss until the enemy is lost & they stop, nowhere near the Base. They rip off the helmet to meet a fearful civilian, pleading, "please don't shoot me."

COMPLETE

Tsuna:

“Where the fuck are we?” You were pretty sure you had a heart attack when the attractive man hit your helmet with his gun.

You ripped off your helmet, jumped off your seat and raised your hands, “Please don’t shoot me!”

“Shit,” the man said, pulled out his phone and glared at you, “you move an inch and there’ll be a bullet in your head.”

“I won’t move an inch.  I’ll even hold my breath!” you promised. You sort of wished you weren’t acting so coldly but the man looked he ordered murders for a living.

He walked away and started hissing into his phone. There were a lot of expletives. You wanted to run but it was better to die later than to die right at that moment. He walked over to you when the call ended and he gun lowered when he saw you shivering.

“What’s your name?” The man asked. “And where do you live?”

“No,” you said sharply.

“No?” He asked.

“I don’t care if you kill me- I mean, actually, I do but the point is,” you tried to square your shoulders and look brave, “I won’t let you kill my family as well. So you’ll never find my identity!”

The man’s glare disappeared and he chuckled. “You’ve got some fire in you, don’t you?”

He came really close and his handsome face was just a few inches from yours. “How about this? You come over to my place and be my lover for a few days. If we play around a little, I promise you I won’t hurt anyone as long as you keep your pretty mouth shut about the incident.”

He tugged your hair behind your ear and your face went red. 

You might be his prey now but Tsuna had no idea that he’d end up falling in love with you.

Hibari:

“Where are we, you stupid herbivore?” Hibari Kyoya snarled and you fell off the bike. 

You didn’t know how you ended up driving the Demon of Sicily to the middle of nowhere. Clearly the universe hated you.

“Please don’t shoot me!” You ripped off your helmet. “I’m too young to die! And I didn’t even get my degree yet. All that college tuition down the drain..” You started bawling at the thought.

Hibari froze and you started crying harder. All that ramen and suffering amounted to nothing in the end. You were gonna end up dead in a ditch-

“Can you stop crying, insect?” Apparently, he had decided to lower your status in the food chain. “Else I’ll bite you to death.”

His dreaded catchphrase made you wail more. “Please make my death quick and painless. Don’t do anything to the face-”

Hibari covered your mouth with his hand and knocked you out with a flick of his fingers against your neck. 

“Am I in Hell?” you asked the moment you opened your eyes and found Hibari Kyoya glaring down at you.

“Stop talking gibberish,” Hibari forced you to sit up and then he took a seat across you, “and listen carefully.”

You couldn’t help but notice how expensive the place was. You almost felt like you were sinning by pressing your butt against the cream-colored sofa. And was that your drool on it? Oh, dear.

“Wow. Your office looks so fancy. I bet if I licked the floor, I’d have dust particles in my tongue that would cost more than my student loans,” you said absently.

“Why would you lick the floor-” Hibari’s face twisted into an unreadable expression. “The point is that you know too much. You have two options-”

“What’s the option that does not involve my death?” you asked. “Because that’s my favorite option.”

“You seem educated enough to be a secretary,” Hibari noted distastefully. “If you work for me, for the Vongola and the Foundation, you will be bound to us by omerta and that will ensure that you never say anything that you shouldn’t.”

“What’s my other option?” Hibari remained quiet. “..oh. Then option one it is.”

“You start tomorrow.”

“You must be pretty desperate if you want me to be your secretary. LOL. I bet that glare does not keep the ladies around you for long-” Hibari silenced you with a death glare. “Sorry, sir!”

Reborn:

“What the fuck-” You heard the man say as you accidentally drove straight into a pond. 

You usually didn’t drive into ponds in the middle of nowhere but, hey, it’s not everyday a serial killer demands a ride from you. It was a good thing that the pond was only waist-deep.

“Please don’t shoot me!” You ripped off your helmet and raised your hands. Your sudden abrupt movement made you fall back into the water and you started choking for air. 

Strong hands pulled you out of the pond and you felt lips pressing against yours.. was the Devil sucking your soul out?

“Dame-Tsuna’s got nothing on you-” You sat up quickly when you heard the voice and something warm fell off from you. Obsidian eyes were trained on your.. chest. 

“Where are my clothes?!” You grabbed the blanket and pulled it over you. You were lying on a bed.. in some hotel room? 

“Relax,” the man (crazy gun dude!) said. “I just took them off to make sure you didn’t get hypothermia. You should thank me instead of fussing over your nakedness-.”

“Why-”

“I will ask the questions here, love,” the man was suddenly inches away from you and you tried not to curl up when his hot breath fell on your neck “so don’t try anything funny.”

“What do you want to know?” You were pretty proud of yourself for not stuttering.

“Well, for starters, how do you feel about being a gateway driver for the Vongola? If we remove your fear of guns and your tendency to crash into ponds, you’d make a decent ride.”

“I don’t want to-”

The man flashed his gun and smirked at you, “You should think twice before saying ‘no’ to the greatest hitman in the world, love. This isn’t really a choice.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Not too shabby, Jimothy Janis: How about you? Jimmy: Been better Jimmy: You know 😏 Janis: Goes without saying Janis: we both make do like but all things considered Janis: think it was 'reet' as you would say Jimmy: You're so full of craic Jimmy: No wonders I miss you already like Jimmy: But yeah it was alright Janis: 🍀 Janis: Take the compliment even though with present company its not asking much of me is it Janis: No shade to Cass or Bobs Jimmy: Want another, do ya? #thirstyworkthis Jimmy: Full of 'em thankfully Janis: Who you calling thirsty?! 😉 Jimmy: Denying it? Jimmy: Bold move Janis: Your word against mine Jimmy: Fair. You are louder than me Jimmy: Gonna get drowned out Janis: 😳 Janis: Prick! Janis: Not my fault that you just grunt like a caveman at all times Jimmy: If you aren't about it, do something about it, mate Jimmy: Just saying 😏 Janis: Ha.. what, teach you proper English? Janis: Not sure I got the time or dedication to the cause tbh 🤔 Jimmy: Nah you haven't got the vocab 🇮🇪 Jimmy: Need more than 🍀 is the drama Janis: 🖕 Janis: Drama is the only subject you're about, more like Janis: not working with an unwilling pupil Jimmy: You can't be my muse across every subject, mate Jimmy: So thirsty like Janis: Ugh Janis: I hate you Janis: So glad you're not here now Jimmy: Can't shut me up from this far away though Jimmy: We both know you've got means otherwise Janis: Such a blatant hussy Janis: all becomes clear now 😂 Jimmy: Skerries brings it out in me Janis: Well what happens in Skerries, like Jimmy: Shit. Hang on Janis: Okay Janis: Is it? Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: As you were Jimmy: What did I miss? Janis: Damn, didn't hear me lamenting under ya window? Janis: Guess the thirst isn't THAT real Janis: You good? Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Shame you weren't, could've caught me when I was tempted to throw myself out dramatically like Janis: That bad then? Janis: 'Cos you went away, like? Jimmy: My dad just had a weekend worth of opinions he simply had to share with me about how I've been spending my time Janis: I can imagine Janis: You aren't free childcare though Janis: I know my fam are lax about certain shit others aren't but he is taking the piss Janis: Right? Jimmy: It isn't like I even mind about looking after them, he's acting as if I'm desperate to be rid when I'd rather have 'em than leave them with him Jimmy: None of us wanna play happy families with him and his missus Jimmy: Have your fucking alone time Janis: Soon to be asking that, gotta be realistic Janis: Esp. with how little he's given the kiddos re. you're Ma Janis: What a headfuck, can't just transition seamlessly, son Janis: and as for the rest of that shite, he just KNOWS that'll make you feel guilty, Jim Janis: I don't know anyone who puts as much work in with their fam, he's not got a leg to stand on there, just knows what'll work on you, that's all Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it fucks me off though, it really does Jimmy: Feels like ages since we went away already and I'm only just back through the door Janis: I know Janis: Sometimes I wish we could just take 'em and leave for good Janis: Not really though, I know that's a lowkey fucked thing to wish considering Janis: Not trying to be an insensitive cunt, just hate it when he gets to you, if I could do something about it forreal, I would Jimmy: You do Jimmy: Not trying to make you feel awkward bout it but you do really help me Jimmy: I wouldn't be able to hack half as much of this if you weren't about Janis: 'Course you would Janis: You did before, like, since you was 13 Janis: That's mental Janis: Don't usually wanna gas you up this much but you're fucking strong, and I know you had to for 'em but still are Janis: Own it, big 'ead Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Still wish you were here though Jimmy: Or we were there Janis: Duh, I'm a delight Janis: and not going anywhere anytime soon so Janis: you're in 🍀 Jimmy: About time I had some Janis: That's the spirit Janis: just hit your Da with that quality bants 😎 Janis: won't have no comebacks, I bet Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: Sooner I can get my own flat the better Jimmy: Debating jacking school in but then who'd be there to get Mr Lucas' rocks off Janis: Won't someone please think about Mr Lucas n his needs?! Janis: Such a hero Janis: Forreal? Be a shame, like Janis: Not just for the art department Jimmy: I know. I wouldn't get to spend all day eye fucking you for starters Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I dunno, sometimes it's the only peace I get from dickheads, kids and mad dogs but they aren't paying me to be there like Janis: Can't have you using your skillz on the CG punters instead Janis: Get restraining orders or their order over ya like Janis: Makes sense though, shame there ain't a compensation scheme like Janis: Maybe you could get run over and then say the Dr fucked you over Janis: double bubble Jimmy: Get your nan round to beat me up again Jimmy: Have a go too, be a hero, mate Jimmy: If anyone asked there was loads of 'em and I didn't see a single face, sorry Janis: 😂 Janis: and defs not a pensioner and a teenage girl either like Janis: probs the 'RA after you, like Janis: sell that shit to The Sun, boyo Janis: full of good ideas, me Jimmy: Quality Jimmy: I am gonna have to get another job at least Jimmy: any ideas there? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lets put our heads together Janis: What are your skills, Mr Taylor? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Janis: There's a market for it Janis: Mia could be your sugar mama, play your cards right Jimmy: I'd happily go broke in that case Jimmy: Live in this box room forever like Janis: You got principles now? Janis: Didn't have 'em when you was sucking face with Tam 🤔 Interesting 😂 Jimmy: When Mia's concerned it's called common sense Janis: Don't reckon you got staying power to be nothing more than another flavour of the month? Janis: She does go through them, admirable in a way given all she's seemingly working against Jimmy: I know I haven't Jimmy: Kissed goodbye to my new boy appeal ages ago Janis: I dunno Janis: I still reckon you're alright Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [Sends a picture of Twix] Speaking of Jimmy: Absence has made the heart grow fonder for someone Janis: Real MVP Janis: been wearing you out instead of her Janis: You owe her, like 😜 Jimmy: I'm gonna bin off school Jimmy: I can make it up to her then Jimmy: Just for the day, keep calm dad Janis: Lol, really prove his point, like Janis: Teen's prerogative Janis: Fair though, I'm pretty knackered Jimmy: yeah why not Jimmy: you don't wanna come over to keep us both company then? Janis: You don't have to ask Janis: if you just wanna 💤 Janis: Not gonna be that bitch Jimmy: what kinda bitch you gonna be Janis: I've not decided yet, watch out world Jimmy: Keep me posted Jimmy: Twix needs to get a jump on her competition Janis: Look, baby girl, if its a competition between you and school then it is none Janis: but the lad here needs a break Janis: I'm soz 💔 Jimmy: 😎💪🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: You turning sleep into a sport now? Jimmy: Have you seen Twix when she gets going on a dream? #Athleticaf Janis: Aww 😍 Janis: why you taking on the champ, gonna have you picking up her shit- oh wait Janis: s'a dog's life forreal Jimmy: She was the one being #goals all along Janis: Truly Janis: can I come over actually Janis: I want to Janis: Call me thirsty all you wanna Jimmy: I want you here too Jimmy: We're even Janis: What was that? You actually admitting defeat? Janis: 😮 Janis: Never thought I'd see the day, Taylor Jimmy: Don't get used to it, like Jimmy: But I do owe you one for sorting Skerries Janis: I'll take it Janis: Even if it was hardly selfless of me like Jimmy: I'm alright with you being selfish if it means getting away from the shit Janis: Easily sorted Janis: S'my default, ask the fam Jimmy: I would but I'm gonna see how long I can carry on pretending families don't exist 😎 Janis: Not gonna say challenge accepted when you're being a good boy Janis: but I like the sound of that too Janis: plus, unfair, numbers wise Jimmy: You are at a disadvantage Jimmy: Never usually let that losing streak stop you though Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Fuck off Janis: Selective memory sore loser 😒 Janis: I got this in the bag anyway, you can't be cunty to kids Janis: I'm away there, all my fam be grown...ish Jimmy: You're gonna have to jog it for me cause all I see in my past are wins, mate Jimmy: Not that you can trusted if you've forgotten how much of a dickhead I am Janis: I know you find it hard to keep up with me but Janis: at least try, mate 😉 Jimmy: Don't have to. I'm a natural at beating you Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😑 Janis: I feel its my duty to inform you this isn't how you make girls like you, you know Janis: otherwise your chances of getting a new gf to stick are slim Jimmy: It's alright I don't want a new girlfriend Jimmy: And I know what works on the one I've got 😏 Janis: What a charmer Jimmy: You aren't denying it 😎 progress Janis: What's your game? Janis: Suspect Jimmy: No games Janis: Yeah right Janis: got my eye on you boy Jimmy: You always do Jimmy: 😎💪💕 Janis: 🕵 you're a shady character that's why Janis: could be a 36 y/o russian spy Jimmy: 😲 Jimmy: with this face? rude Janis: deep cover Janis: obvs want me for the olympics cos why else Jimmy: busted Janis: fans gonna be gutted Janis: never mind will they won't they Janis: rollercoaster from fake start to fake end Jimmy: We're gonna need new #s Janis: #whendimitriisnottheone #comradeBYE Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get the vodka shots in Jimmy: Win you back like Janis: Not that easy Janis: but not gonna say no Jimmy: #thirsty Janis: how did we end up back here Jimmy: Too true for you to keep avoiding, mate Janis: what you think Janis: queen of avoidance Janis: won't see me for dust Jimmy: I'll see you tomorrow, babe Janis: Only by proxy Janis: 'cos my true love is there Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: Don't worry, we can still have mindless sex Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Done Janis: Heart healed real fast Janis: Called it Jimmy: I'm easy Janis: Didn't wanna say it, kid Jimmy: Ask Tam she'll tell you Janis: I bet she would Janis: Unlike you I do my best to avoid her though so no tah Jimmy: Don't know what you're missing there, mate Janis: Ha, you can get fucked Janis: I'm not having a threesome with you and Tam Janis: not even for the #drama Jimmy: what about for the #craic? Jimmy: You'd be lucky anyway she's only about me 😎 Janis: So jealous 😒 Janis: Twat Janis: How about a mmf threesome, bet YOU ain't so keen now Jimmy: Depends who you're considering Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas I'm well in Janis: All fun and games now but you know he'd be way too down Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: Too real Janis: Mhmm, that mouth gon' get you in trouble one day Janis: what am I gonna do with you, eh? Janis: 😇 over here Jimmy: I'm the bad influence like Jimmy: Take that dad Janis: Yeah, I'll just tell him, like Janis: Problem solved Janis: Please him no end having to have a chinwag with me 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: done deal Jimmy: not like we're trying to avoid him or owt Janis: oh, just thought we were trying to avoid our own, like Janis: there goes my bruch goss sesh Janis: gutted Jimmy: Keep up, mate Jimmy: Gotta totally isolate ourselves for that teen angst cliche Janis: Umm Janis: 🚩 Janis: are you going to tell me next that no one else cares about me but you? and that I need to block everyone and give you my phone Jimmy: You can tell your fam that next time Gracie's blowing up your phone Janis: I'd pay to see her rescue mission but Janis: I'll let it get to the danger zone before I do anything, standard Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: Can't fault you there Janis: Give you time to get proper creeper Janis: up ya game Jimmy: I'll take that Jimmy: Challenge accepted as per Janis: G'wan then Janis: Don't scare easy Jimmy: I already figured that out Janis: Clever boy 😉 Jimmy: have my moments Jimmy: Don't even need school, see? Janis: Still wanna jack it in then? Janis: Let Monday pass, see how you feel Jimmy: I don't wanna really Jimmy: Just being a crybaby about being stuck under this roof Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fair Janis: I feel it Janis: You can always squat in the barn if you're quiet Janis: won't charge you Janis: much Jimmy: I can be quiet Jimmy: If you don't blow my cover we'll be alright Janis: Excuse me Janis: I'm stealth as fuck Janis: you know you got caught the other day yeah Janis: was saving your ego but Jimmy: Nah Janis: Did so Janis: you know Gracie got her 👀 peeled for you forever Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Should've known that she'd still be obsessed with me Janis: You? Okay 👌🍆 Janis: watch you don't rub your shine off dickhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Thought you'd be buzzing she's switched her allegiance like Janis: Still not getting rid of her is it Janis: Unless you both run off into the sunset and leave me in peace Jimmy: Yeah alright Jimmy: You've got Twix you'll be sorted Janis: Like you give a fuck Janis: finally getting the twin you wanted all along like Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Just playing the long game Janis: Bit of a weird way to play it but Janis: this your usual approach? Jimmy: You're the first twin I've dated Jimmy: Lucky Janis: I really feel it Jimmy: [Sends a pic of Twix looking adorable] Jimmy: Bet you do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Look at what you coulda had Janis: now you're gonna have to get a pug with my sister Janis: sad Jimmy: More of a cat person anyway like 😏 Janis: are you trying to get with my mum? Janis: sicko Jimmy: Nah just over mad bitches, you know Janis: Defs wanna avoid this entire fam then Jimmy: Nah their alright Jimmy: And not just by comparison Janis: Hmm maybe from the outside looking in Janis: They aren't but what am I gonna do, emancipate myself? I've got less cash and less of a place to go so not the brightest of ideas Jimmy: Guess we're stuck Jimmy: Twix has a lot of love to give but fuck all cash Janis: Preach Janis: Useless sugar daddy Janis: should take a leaf out my sister's book clearly Jimmy: Bit late for that Jimmy: You're too loved up Janis: Nah Janis: Tell Twix to speak for herself Jimmy: [sends a voice clip of Twix howling] Jimmy: Done Janis: 😂 Janis: aren't you in enough trouble rn boy? don't start her off! Jimmy: She's a bad bitch Jimmy: Can't be told Jimmy: I blame her training meself Janis: Oh, Twix, where you gonna go? Think on, girl Janis: Get what you pay for Janis: You want results, you gotta cough up for my services Jimmy: You can't need new kicks already, mate Jimmy: I know you've been shopping like Jimmy: The social's got you exposed Janis: What makes you think I was paying? 🤔 Janis: Mean she didn't buy you a 'round? Shame Jimmy: I know you weren't Jimmy: Gonna pay when Twix hears about it though Janis: Sure the flat whites are already hunting her down too Janis: Awkward Jimmy: Tam's probably trying to stretch her skin into a suit as we speak Jimmy: She's gonna need a touch of your luck I reckon Janis: Not your usual type, long and lanky then? Janis: That'll be a toughie but she's nothing if not determined, bless her Jimmy: Dunno I can't remember Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Nice Janis: Such a gent Jimmy: I wasn't trying to be Jimmy: She bumped into me and we had a dance to make it less awkward Jimmy: Far as that politeness went Janis: No need to lie 😂 I'm not the one that's gonna be crying about it Jimmy: No need to be jealous cause I'm not Janis: Whatever, weren't together Janis: not against any unwritten rules or other shite Jimmy: Still Jimmy: If you were jealous, like at Cass' party, no need to be Janis: You what? Janis: I weren't, you were being rude, that's all Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Always wanting me to be jealous Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Nope, just saying Jimmy: I'm that dickhead like Janis: What dickhead would that be? Jimmy: A jealous one Janis: Nah Janis: You ain't Janis: why would you be? nothing to be jealous about Jimmy: Forget it Janis: Can't say that, never works, like Jimmy: There's a first time for everything though Jimmy: Worth a go Janis: 🤷 Janis: fine, hit you with the shrug right back Janis: be like that Jimmy: I'm not being like anything Jimmy: I just don't wanna say it. Okay? Janis: Alright Janis: What do you wanna say? Anything? Should I go? Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: It's not your fault like, being too good for me and that Janis: Are you mental? What are you even chatting Janis: Fuck leagues, not even playing the same sport, and I ain't bragging Janis: For once Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: You're fucking stunning like, and that's just looks Janis: 🙄 Janis: Please Janis: that's the start and end of my qualities Janis: don't even make the most of that, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: It isn't Jimmy: And you don't need to, that makes it worse, or better depending on the lens you're viewing through Janis: I've told you, I know what I am Janis: Ain't under any illusion I'm a catch Janis: Not fishing for sympathy like Jimmy: I'm not throwing any sympathy out Jimmy: Or compliments, just facts Jimmy: You are a catch, mate Janis: Blatantly not 'cos no one else thinks or has thought so Janis: what I'm saying, there's nothing to BE jealous about Janis: no one gunning for you 'cos I'm off the market, is there Jimmy: Only cause they can't compete with how #goals we are Janis: Yeah, that's the joke Jimmy: It doesn't have to be Jimmy: I'm not laughing Janis: No? That might've been your reality but it certainly hasn't been mine Janis: There's a reason I was a 'dyke' with no friends, and those reasons haven't disappeared Janis: You would laugh, you do Jimmy: No Janis: Forget it Janis: I'm using mine now too Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: I don't want you to forget what I'm trying to say Jimmy: Even if I am messing it up Janis: you don't have to Janis: say anything Janis: just 'cos I'm being a fucking sad case Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: There's so much shit I wanna say to you, alright? Janis: But you don't know how? Janis: Alright, Liam, fucking hell Jimmy: He was on to something Janis: Maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: You don't need this though, my shit ontop of yours, forreal, so you can forget about it, alright? Jimmy: I'm not that much of dickhead Janis: Ugh, can't you try? Janis: Always claiming the title and now where is it when we need it, eh Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: Got no control over it like that Jimmy: Basically none around you, like Janis: You mean that? Janis: No bullshit, no bants? Jimmy: You know I do Janis: Good Janis: 'cos me either Janis: and I am jealous, really jealous Janis: and you know that too, I know Jimmy: That's why you have to hear me out Jimmy: There's no reason to be Jimmy: I swear Janis: Alright Janis: I'll try Janis: Its not personal, but I know its shitty to be on the other end of it regardless Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I can't lie now, I quite like it Jimmy: Nobody's ever been that bothered about me before Janis: Well they're thick then Janis: I Janis: I dunno Janis: Not had anyone to myself before Janis: that I wanted to keep Janis: not letting go easy, like Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: Me and you. Alright? Jimmy: That's how I want it Janis: Alright Janis: I wish we had a place to go now too Janis: Bad Janis: out of the question storming out in a teen angst rage tonight? Jimmy: It's out of the question for me not to Jimmy: I'll take the car Jimmy: Find us a place Janis: You're already in trouble I guess Janis: Lets do it Janis: I'll be waiting outside Jimmy: I'll be right there Janis: 👌 Janis: what are our chances of sneaking me in though? 🤔 seems silly to come back home only to come back tomorrow like Janis: up for the challenge? Jimmy: Put a coat on it's freezing out Jimmy: You know it 💪🏆 Janis: Cute 🖤 Janis: but as I've pulled, will do Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Got the car keys that's the first hurdle like Jimmy: Don't even need luck Janis: Thank God, like Janis: just that good, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: 💕