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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #300

that’s a lot of time wasted, lmao

If you were a witch, which animal would be your familiar? Could I have like, a melanistic barn owl? That'd be dope. They're fuckin gorgeous. If there's a design on your shirt, what is it? Ha, speaking of owls... Would you ever visit a ghost town? MOTHERFUCKER would I. Bringing my camera, too. What would you do if you found out your life was only a simulation controlled by someone else? I have a very much Detroit: Become Human (phenomenal game, btw) outlook on this: I think, therefore I am. It honestly wouldn't affect me terribly. I sure would hate my creator though, jfc, lmao. What's the scariest thing you've accidentally found on the internet? Okay so there is this one video filmed by some guys who had this really strange, sulking guy in black stalking them, and it ends with the suspected murderer slinking over to the guys (who were by this point finding it almost funny, due to how the man was acting) and charging with a knife, I think, once he was very close. I believe the men were never found afterwards. It is SO goddamn unnerving. Is there anything bothering you right now? Not to be a Negative Nancy, but when isn't there lmao. Thinking of every Halloween costume you've had, which one was the most creative? I never had creative ones, really. What's the picture on your calendar for this month? I don't have a relevant calender, just old meerkat ones on a wall in my room. If you were a mythical creature, which would you be? As much as I love dragons, they're targeted too much in fantasy to kill, so let's not, haha. Being a dryad would be cool. Or druid. Either/or. If you were an animal, which would you be? A housecat, ig. Were you ever bullied when you were younger and how did you handle it? I consider myself very lucky to have not been. Have you ever thrown something away and then wanted it back? Okay so it's "deleted" versus "thrown away," technically, but there are two senior prom pictures in specific I desperately want back because fuck my low self-esteem, I look beautiful in them and so damn happy. I even tried Facebook restore programs that supposedly recovered all pictures you ever removed, but I couldn't salvage them. I'm still pissed about it, haha. What's one random city you want to visit? I don't have a specific city, per se. More so just countries in general. If you owned a store, what would you most likely sell? I think owning a pet supply store would be really cool, with some animals that are actually very well-cared for, unlike chain pet stores. I HATE those, vehemently. So unspeakably ignorant and neglectful. If you had a garden, what sort of plants would you grow? I don't want a garden, but hypothetically, I'd love orchids, dahlias, tiger lilies, a weeping willow tree, some strawberries... What's your favorite phase of the moon? Full, of course. What's the song for your life right now? I've felt extremely connected to Seether's "Weak" lately. Do you believe that when you die, you get to see all your loved ones again? I hope so... Who would you be the most excited to see? DO I ACTUALLY NEED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION?????????? Do you enjoy reading National Geographic magazines? If I'm like, sitting in a waiting room and they're available, I'll go for them. Do you know anyone who's serving in the military right now? Welcome to the South, baby. The boys graduate, they're going straight for the military. I only have one real friend who was one but left tho because he fucking hated it. Does or did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this house, no. As a small child, did you ever feel as if you were different or weird? Absofuckinglutely. I have A LOT of bad memories of instances where I felt like "the weird kid." Can you say "happy birthday" in another language? Omg... I forgot the German phrase. Wow, I'm rusty. What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math. Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? I don't have pictures that go with any. Who was the last person to comment on one of your photos on Facebook and how did you meet that person? I just checked, and it was my friend Summer. I met her because she was actually first friends with my younger sister in pre-k, but we grew closer than they did in our teen years. What career paths are you considering? I just want to be a photographer. So badly. But I've felt super, super discouraged lately. Do you watch music videos? I pretty much never do, but rather listen through the artists' Topic uploads or lyric videos. I don't generally like official music videos because they tend to have other sounds/parts/breaks/etc. in them that distract from the song. Have you ever clicked on those banner ads that promise a prize for clicking? Probably by accident at some point in time. What kind of computer are you using? Acer Nitro. What kind of computer do you wish you were using? I'm fine with what I have. Have you ever had a weight change so drastic you went to the doctor? .-. How cold does it have to be before you put on a sweater? Depends on how long I'll be outside, but in most situations, in the 50s. Do you eat things off the floor? Um, ew. Who do people say you look like? My sisters. Do you usually get your homework done on time? When I was in school, I was very serious about having my homework finished by the date it was due. Have you ever framed your old movie ticket stubs? I've kept some, but never framed any. Do you have a digital camera? A Canon, yeah. Have you ever stuck something inappropriate in an electrical outlet? Bitch I ain't tryna get electrocuted. How many days has it been since your last birthday? My b-day is actually coming up soon; the 5th of February. Do you want any more siblings than you have now? Well, considering both my parents (and stepmom) are in their 50s... How easily shocked are you? VERY. I am extremely jumpy and on edge at like all times. You like the color blue, don't you? I mean yeah. Particularly the lighter tints. Who was the last person who asked you something that made you think? My therapist REEEEAAAALLY makes me do this. She's an absolute pro at getting me to dig deep into myself. Ever fired a gun? No, and I don't want to. From 1-10, how would you rate your cooking skills? Is 0 an option? Do you notice the heat or the cold more? HEAT, JESUS FUCK. It can be one or two degrees above what I consider stable and I'll be sweating. I'm hypersensitive to it I know from being in such a consistent temperature in my room like 24/7. Do you believe in miracles? Probably no. What hurts more: scratches or bites? Bites, if you're talking serious ones. Do you prefer rabbits to mice? No, mice (and especially rats) are absolutely amazing, intelligent animals. Bonus points for being mega cute too, though I do find rabbits cuter. Who out of all the people you know reasonably well is the most "dark?" Sara, haha. Favorite chocolate-based candy? Reese's. Do you call anyone babe or baby? My pets sometimes. Name me a food you used to like that you now don't: Peas, olives. Name me a food you now like but never used to: Mashed potatoes, IF prepared very well (by my standards, obviously). Would you rather live in Europe, The US, or Australia? By this point, take me to Europe. If it wouldn't be such a huge life change and leaving so many people, I would 120% move to Canada, but out of these, Europe will do. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids, or a high flying job? Give me the high-flying job, 100%. I don't want kids, and I have no need for a large house. Is crime a big problem in your area? Oh yes. What’s your town/city most well-known for? By the locals, being the crime hub, actually, lol. Name 5 objects that you don’t have but would like right now: Hmmm... I want a 40g tank as an upgrade for Venus, a gaming chair for when I turn the extra room into my "office" so I don't destroy my back sitting there, new glasses and a driving permit, and don't forget a gd tattoo needle pounding my skin. :^) If you were given the choice to choose your child’s gender, would you? Yes, I would absolutely want a girl just because IF I wanted kids, I'd want a daughter named Alessandra. Do you get along well with your family doctor/your doctor? Yeah, she's nice. What types of soups do you like? None. If a color could reflect your current mood, which would it be? Grayish blue. The last time you saw fireworks? I really don't know; it's been years, at least. Have you ever gone to a movie premiere? Possibly for Silent Hill: Revelation, but I'm not certain. Who was the last person to make you laugh out loud? My mom, because she made me remember something funny. What was the last commercial you heard selling? *shrug* Do you prefer fairly common names or a bit out of the ordinary ones? Oh, definitely rare and unique ones. Would you rather have a pet cat, dog, horse or tortoise? At this current time, a dog for Mom, which we're actually probably getting. She misses having one super badly. Is your laugh loud, normal or very silent? My laugh is loud and obnoxious as fuck. What are you interested in that most people would be surprised to know? Tarantulas, probably. I love them, even though spiders kinda scare me. Last movie you watched the whole way through? Elf, I think, with Sara's fam. What's your favorite fruit? Strawberries are where it's at. Last time you drank coffee? I've only ever sipped coffee to try to see if I liked it. Never have. I THINK I last took a sip of Sara's when we went on a breakfast date? Has anyone ever called you rich? Calling me rich would be entirely ludicrous. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. How many bathrooms are in your house? Two. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? A couple years ago, coming home from Illinois. Favorite flavor muffin? Uggghhhh chocolate. Do you prefer stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. I tend to find circles visually appealing. Did you take Music when you were in school? I think all the elementary school students did. I was also in band in middle and high school; I played the flute. Why did you last feel like crying? I'm just sick of how my life is going. Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting, or indifferent? I find it either awkward or terrifying, depending on the gender. It's not a willing thing or intended sexism whatsoever, I'm just naturally afraid of men. Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what? No. Does someone’s background affect whether you'll be friends with them or not? Well, it depends on what they've done. How about their religious background? No. If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? Nope, bye. Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No. How about a fashion designer? No. Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire aesthetically, but ice is certainly less intimidating. When happy, do you become more talkative? OH yes. Are you offended easily by non-politically correct language? No, really. I wouldn't say derogatory terms, but I really don't understand why most people put so much weight into a single made-up word. But again, you won't hear that language coming out of my mouth because I understand that it just does hurt some people, and I respect that. Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right? It's gone overboard, imo. What's your I.Q? I don't want to know, haha. Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? No. Do you know anyone who is scared of you? Um, no. What person who has died would you bring back and why? Probably Steve Irwin. His children have done FUCKING FANTASTIC at carrying on his legacy and purpose, but I feel he could've taught the world so much more than he had time to... Do you like watermelon? No. Too watery. Can you remember the month of your first kiss? Yes, actually. March. What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? I'm unsure, really. Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? Both. What artist's paintings do you find the most beautiful? This is an impossible question. What about the most disturbing? Oh man, I watch this one person on deviantART that makes especially creepy artwork. I follow a loooot of dark artists, though, so it's difficult to pick. Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? A church-related summer thing, yes, as a kid. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Pokemon was/is where it's at. What was your biggest fear as a child? Thunderstorms, holy shit. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Be able to breathe underwater. What about invisibility or mindreading? Definitely invisibility. Mindreading would just... suck. Hurt. Especially if you couldn't control it. Which stereotype do you dislike the most? Good question, considering I hate a shit ton. Can you remember all your past teachers names? No, not all of them. Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I don't mind watching 'em. I particularly used to love America's Got Talent. Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Yes; I failed horribly at my final math exam the last time I was in school. Are you on any meds? Too many. Just way too many for someone my age. I'm really starting to think I'm over-medicated to where it's dulling my senses, feelings, and also destroying my memory. But I kinda need like... all of them. I'm talking to my psychiatrist in just a couple days though, actually, and I'm going to talk to him about maybe trying to wean me off my OCD med, since I haven't had big symptoms in a long time. I wanna see how I deal without it. What color is your razor? Black and orange. What is your fave frozen treat? Just the classic ice cream. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? We tend to get our groceries from Wal-Mart. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YESSIREE. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? I don't think there's anyone that is widely disliked, no. Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully. Other than yourself, who did you last buy something for? Mom. What's something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting. It's hard to ignore when taking one step is painful. Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? I certainly haven't talked about it in-depth, but it's been mentioned in some way when I was with Jason. I mean we were together for three and a half years, sexually active (and I ain't doing jackshit if it's that time of the month), and I spent as much time with him as possible, so... it woulda came up. I'm sure he was indifferent about it, he was a mature guy. Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? No. I've never even heard of one around here. Have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex? Back up two questions, haha. That was normal. How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? Shit man, I love tattoos. I'd obviously not care. How have you been feeling today? Depressed. Where’s your phone right now? On my chest. I'm lying down. Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? ugh When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? I never have. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? I don't remember their names, honestly... but the chocolate and peanut butter ones come to mind.

#survey #surveys #questions

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themyskira · 6 years ago

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The Life of Captain Marvel - issue #3

Previously: Carol has spent the last nine months listening to early-2000s emo music while watching herself cry in the mirror, basically.

She let her brother get in a car accident, then made his brain injury all about her.

She found out something private about her parents’ relationship problems, and made that all about her as well.

She discovered an alien device among her father’s possessions, but she couldn't find a way to wring family drama out of that one, so she ignored it.

Now the alien device has enabled a Kree cyborg assassin to track her and her mother down, and it almost (but not quite) forces the two of them to have an actual conversation.

This is the issue where things really kick into high bullshit.

(No talk of family violence in this one, thankfully, but love interest Louis goes into some creepy, coercive Nice Guy territory.)

Dishwasher continues to be the shittiest stealth assassination unit ever. Having already conspicuously crash-landed, murdered two people and caused a gigantic explosion on a major highway, it has stolen a boat (so probs another murder in there as well) and is drawing further attention to itself by speeding so erratically around Harspwell Sound that it almost capsizes a smaller vessel.

But who could possibly see past this cunning disguise?

Carol, meanwhile, is apparently psychic. She thinks to herself,

I can’t get away from the feeling that something is wrong. I woke up in a panic this morning, reeling. For a split second, I couldn’t remember… What had happened? What terrible thing? Why was I spinning?

Because you’re trying to wake up from this nightmare of a comic?

She decides to let off some steam by running, which is apparently something that has always helped her clear her head.

This leads into a flashback of a SUPERNATURALLY FAST YOUNG CAROL OUTRUNNING A GODDAMNED TRUCK.

fuckin WHAT.

We will later find out that Carol, being half-Kree, was always naturally faster and stronger than the average human (though it wasn’t until the Psyche-Magnitron ‘jumpstarted’ her Kree powers that she got the full superpowered package).

That’s what we’re told. Except Margaret Stohl and flashback artist Marguerite Sauvage go so hilariously over-the-top in their portrayal of Carol as a child, so what we end up seeing is a newborn infant with such an iron grip that she causes her father GENUINE PAIN, and a fourteen-year-old girl who can OUTRUN MOTOR VEHICLES.

And yet, supposedly neither she nor anybody else around her twirled that there was anything out-of-the-ordinary about her??

In the present, Carol is snapped out of her reverie to discover that she is jogging mid-air.

Louis: Whatcha up to? Get it? Up to? Carol: Um… Calm down. Get it? Down?

So, we’ve all seen some version of this trope, right? The stressed-out super-person goes to the gym to take out some of their tension on a punching bag, only to unintentionally lash out with their full power and send the bag flying clean across the room, something like that.

What weirds me out about this iteration is that— jogging does not logically bleed into flying. They’re different forms of movement, presumably requiring the exertion of different muscles and associated with different physical sensations. It’s not so much ‘super-person unthinkingly hits the punching bag so hard they pulverise it’ as it is ‘super-person unthinkingly turns their punch into a cartwheel mid-swing’.

Carol and Louis talk. He suggests that “Maybe it’s time ta drop the Mystery of the Old Lettahs, Nancy Drew”.

WHAT MYSTERY. THERE IS NO MYSTERY.

I mean, no, it turns out there is a mystery because the letters were really written to Carol’s mother, who is a secret alien, but CAROL has no reason to know any of this as yet. As far as she’s concerned, the extent of the mystery was ‘ohshit dad had an affair? does mom know?? how will I tell her?? should I tell her??’ And then her mum was like, ‘yep I knew, ‘scool’. MYSTERY SOLVED. THE END.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, this family has a bucketload of issues to work through, but those letters don’t particularly factor into any of them.

Carol wonders what else she didn’t notice about her family.

“Were we normal, Louis? Did I even seem normal? Or… yanno… was there something funky about me too?”

You mean aside from the fact that you could run faster than a speeding pickup truck?

But of course this is Louis’s cue to confess that he’s had a crush on her since he first laid eyes on her… which he does by faintly negging her, because Louis is a turd.

“All those brains and you never figured that one out? You were the only thing I noticed, most days. … You’d hafta be stupid dense to miss that.”

Louis takes Carol’s hand and moves in for the kiss, just as Carol begins to hear a small but insistent beeping that sounds like a distress beacon. Louis handles it SUPER WELL.

Bear in mind, this scene is presented as humorous and cute.

[Louis goes in for the kiss] Carol: Wait— do you hear that? Louis: Shh. I’ve been picturing this since I was 14…

So straight away, Louis is viewing and treating Carol like an object — not an equal partner in this scene but a vehicle for his sexual fantasies. Carol is not enthusiastically consenting. She’s asking him to wait. She’s visibly distracted and concerned. His response is ‘shut up, you’re spoiling my boner’.

Carol: [leaning back from the kiss] …is that a car alarm? Some kinda distress beacon? Am I just freaking out because my childhood friend is, like, millimetres from planting one on me?? Louis: …but with less talking…

We are just going to zoom on past this atrocious dialogue because we do not have the time.

The important thing is, Carol is visibly uncomfortable and Louis does not care. Carol is making it clear that (a) she’s distracted and not in the moment, (b) she’s concerned someone might be in trouble and she may need to get her superhero on and (c) she’s panicking a little at the prospect of kissing Louis. This is the point where any decent person would back off and ask if she’s okay, if she wants this, if she wants to slow down, if she needs to go do the superhero thing.

Louis, who let me remind you is supposed to be a likeable love interest, again tells her to shut up with an aside that she’s less talkative in his sex fantasies.

Carol: [pulling right back in concern as the beeping grows more urgent] Hold that thought. Definitely not a car alarm. Louis: [visibly irritated now] …way less talking.

AND LOUIS TELLS HER TO SHUT UP AGAIN.

Carol: [flying into action] Something’s happening…! Louis: [kicking a stone sullenly] I know, I’m the guy tryna make it happen…! [sighs loudly]

Louis is a classic fucking Nice Guy.

He thinks that because of their recently-rekindled childhood friendship, because he’s listened to her troubles and offered a shoulder to cry on, because he’s finally managed to engineer this romantic moment alone — he’s therefore entitled to Carol’s love. So when Carol keeps pulling away from his increasingly pushy advances, she’s the one being unfair — he’s trying so hard to “make it happen” and she’s not giving him anything in return!

The fact that he’s whining about Carol not reciprocating literally as she leaps into superhero mode and flies to investigate a potential threat makes this particularly laughable, but there are no circumstances in which this behaviour is okay.

In every panel, Carol is sending clear signals that she wants to stop or slow down, and Louis responds by trying to pressure her into doing what he wants — first by shushing her, then by belittling her for talking too much, and finally by sulking and blaming her.

AGAIN. THIS IS THE MAIN ROMANTIC INTEREST IN THIS BOOK. CAROL IS SUPPOSED TO LIKE HIM. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO LIKE HIM.

WHAT THE F U C K

Carol traces the sound to the family home and realises that it’s coming from the garage. When she gets there, Marie — apparently the only other person who can hear the beeping, is in a frantic state. She’s found the source — the obviously extraterrestrial device Carol found, inadvertently activated and promptly forgot about back in issue 1 — and she’s super worked up about it.

“It shouldn’t be here! […] It wasn’t his. I don’t even know why he kept it… this piece of junk…”

Okay so first of all, you do know why he kept it, that is a lie. Next issue we’ll find out that the device is a beacon through which the Kree military could track and communicate with operatives like Mari-Ell/Marie. When Marie decided to desert the Kree military and commit to raising a family with Joe on Earth, she gave him the beacon as a gesture and they switched it off together.

Obviously he was going to keep it. He wouldn’t have been capable of destroying it and it’s clearly not something you can throw in the bin. Marie could have destroyed it and ensured that it could never be inadvertently switched on — say, by her dumbass daughter — and used to track them both down, but I guess incompetence runs in the family.

Carol asks who the obvious alien technology belonged to if it didn’t belong to Joe, and Marie screeches that “IT BELONGED TO HER!”

Of course, she needs to say that — she has to keep up the pretence that this is all about an imaginary mistress and not about her and Carol being aliens — because Stohl doesn’t want to give away the game yet. But the question is, why would she at this point?

Marie is a deserter and a fugitive from the Kree military. She knows that, were the Kree ever to track her down, she would be summarily executed for treason. She has just discovered that her beacon — the one surefire way the Kree have of locating her — has been activated and is now beeping insistently. Knowing how the military operates, she should know that the Vacuum Kleaner is on its way to kill her and her family, and that it almost certainly has a bead on her location.

(Seems pretty incompetent on the Kree’s part to have an alarm installed in the beacon to let the deserter know an assassin is coming, but as we’ve seen The Mopman Prophecies is a pretty terrible assassin.)

Priority one should be deactivating and/or destroying the beacon. Priority two should be getting her family secure and preparing Carol in particular for what’s about to go down. Because as deeply selfish as Marie has been to keep lying to her daughter for all these years, surely Marie is more invested in saving her children’s lives than she is in preserving this fiction she’s created.

Well… maybe not. Jury’s still out.

Because rather than doing any of those things, Marie seemingly doesn’t know what to do except freak out and continue to lie when questioned about the beacon.

Carol isn’t much better. She couldn’t see the beacon for the OBVIOUS ALIEN DEVICE that it is before, and even now as it’s beeping at a volume/frequency that is near-deafening to her and her mother and yet completely inaudible to everybody else in town, she still thinks it’s nothing more than a busted old TV remote.

No, the extent of Carol’s deductive reasoning is, ‘THING MAKE MOM SAD. THING BAD. THING GO AWAY NOW.’

Carol: [snatching the beacon] Here— Let’s just get rid of it! [hurls it into the bay several kilometres away]

So this is the point where Marie comes clean, right? She knows it’s only a matter of time before the Kree Khambermaid shows up at their door. She knows that even as they stand here, her children’s lives are in danger. She has to say something, if only to get them somewhere safe.

NOPE. SHE JUST FUCKS RIGHT OFF TO SULK AND TAKE HER FRUSTRATION OUT ON THE DISHES.

JJ asks what upset Marie, and Carol is a shitty liar.

“…nothing. Some broken remote I found in a box of old… um… just some stuff in your closet.”

Again, ZERO curiosity about this ultra-suspicious beeping that only she and her mother could hear.

JJ reveals that he knew about the letters, which kind of stands to reason — the box was in his wardrobe, and it was stored in a very visible, easily accessible spot. (Carol, of course, is taken completely by surprise.)

He adds that, after reading them, he recalled kind of a weird childhood memory.

It was during the summer; the three kids were spending the day on the boat with their uncle while their mother was out of town. They stopped briefly at shore to pick up some more bait, only to see their father canoodling with a mysterious blonde.

Steven: Hey— is that Pops?! What’s he doin’ all the way up there…? JJ: And who’s he doin’ it to?! Steven: Uh… I’ll tell ya when you’re my age. Beans, don’t look! Carol: Huh? [Joe and Marie start to levitate off the ground]

Things that are stupid about this:

Marie is a deserter from the Kree military. If the Kree Empire were alerted to her presence on Earth, they would send somebody to kill her and take her daughter away. Donning fancy alien clothes and flaunting her superpowers in full view of the harbour is idiotically reckless and endangers her entire family.

AN ALIEN HAS JUST LIFTED UP THEIR FATHER AND LEVITATED WITH HIM AND ALL THE KIDS CAN FOCUS ON IS THE FACT THAT THEY’RE KISSING AT THE SAME TIME.

AND LIKE. NOBODY EVER DISCUSSED THIS. JUST LIKE NOBODY EVER DISCUSSED THE FACT THAT THEIR SISTER COULD OUTRUN A FREIGHT TRAIN WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY.

oh and can we talk about the fact that Carol saw this. Carol, who dreams of visiting the stars. CAROL, whose childhood bedroom is wallpapered with NASA and Star Wars posters. C A R O L, who has craved flight since before she could walk.

CAROL SUSAN JANE DANVERS SAW A MYSTERIOUS ALIEN WOMAN FLYING WITH HER DAD AND THEN IMMEDIATELY FORGOT ABOUT IT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

Also, though it’s less important, the dialogue has gone askew here. Steven’s “I’ll tell ya when you’re my age” is clearly meant to brush off a question about the canoodling. But it was Steven who asked about the canoodling — the question from JJ that he’s responding to is ‘who’s the lady?’, which of course neither of the brothers knows.

So the exchange should either read,

JJ: Hey— is that Pops?! What’s he doin’ all the way up there…? And what’s she doin’ to him?! Steven: Uh… I’ll tell ya when you’re my age.

Or,

Steven: Hey— is that Pops?! Who’s the lady? JJ: And what’s she doin’ to him?! Steven: Uh… I’ll tell ya when you’re my age.

But also, it shouldn’t be either of those things, because what they really ought to be talking about is OMFG THOSE PEOPLE ARE FLYING.

“And I was right there? I— I really must have buried that memory.”

Really? We’re gonna do suppressed memories, now? That’s where you wanna go with this?

I mean, it’s possible it could have slipped her mind somewhere in between the two complete memory wipes she’s suffered over the course of her superhero career, but short of that, there is no earthly reason why Carol would not recall seeing an actual alien hovering in front of her face.

Carol goes to talk to Marie about the histrionics in the garage and they take a walk down to the pier together.

Carol: So… what was that device in Pops’ stuff? I tried to open it but couldn’t make heads or tails of the thing. Marie: Carol, it’s not just… that thing you found. It’s time I told you the truth… though I promised your father I never would.

Really, Carol? That’s the question you want to ask? Not ‘why was Dad canoodling with aliens?’ Not ‘why did Dad have an extraterrestrial device among his possessions?’ Not ‘how come you and I are the only ones who heard that thing?’

So, a few things happen at this point.

Having decided that with lives on the line, she can no longer avoid telling Carol the truth, Marie… continues to avoid telling the truth, procrastinating by talking vaguely around her relationship with Joe and her decision to keep the family together. Can’t take it too quickly, or she might actually reveal something of value before the Janitor arrives to kill them all.

But Room Service is taking its time, and Marie is running out of steam. If something doesn’t happen soon, she and her daughter might be forced to have a necessary and productive conversation!

It’s all on Carol now. Only she can save us from a devastating outbreak of basic competence!

Marie: Carol? Carol: [wheeze] I can’t— [wheeze] Marie: What is it? Are you okay? Carol: [swoons] Marie: Carol! Carol: [HYPERVENTILATES HER WAY FACE FIRST INTO A GODDAMN LAKE]

Okay, but who in the hell read this script and saw this artwork and didn’t think that everybody involved with this comic was about to make massive fools of themselves?

Wait, never mind, I just googled it, and the editor on this book is the same person who edited America. That... absolutely checks out.

There’s a page of Carol sinking dramatically through the water, unable to get her body to move, before Marie dives to her rescue. They both collapse on the dock, exhausted, just in time for the beeping to begin again.

In town, all hell is breaking loose. Turns out Carol’s ‘out of sight, out of mind’ approach to the Kree beacon? Not a great plan. After being flung into the bay, the device wound up being scooped up in a fishing net and brought right back into town, which is where Tide Pod’s drone has located it. The drones are now exploding everything in sight.

Louis tries to slow it down by hurling some sick burns: “Hey you! Sir Splodesalot! … Hey! Baby Death Star Head!”

Carol arrives on the scene and asks if anybody is hurt, and Louis immediately starts whining that she didn’t show up sooner.

Carol: Louis! Everyone okay?! Louis: What’s the use of this place being the “summer home to a super hero” if you’re not gonna come when we’re being [attacked?]

He’s skating very close to having an actual point, because this entire situation is Marie and Carol’s fault. However, this is also the dude who, mere hours ago, lost his shit when Carol prioritised saving lives over a make-out session. You don’t get to demand she ignore a distress call one minute and then complain that she didn’t respond fast enough the next.

Also, you’re the ones who slapped Captain Marvel’s brand on your town and your donuts, not her. You fuckers are lucky the Avengers haven’t come after you for trademark infringement.

A cloud of drones descends on Main Street. They immediately go for Carol, so she takes to the sky with the plan of luring them away and exploding them high above the town.

But first, a quick detour to needlessly endanger her family and tackle her mother to the ground.

After destroying the drones, Carol returns in time for Clorox to arrive and—

what the hell man, why did you decide to nude up for this?!

And finally, the reveal we’ve all been dreading.

Marie/Mari-Ell: …she’s here for me. Carol: Ma?!?!

(Small detail, but dudes, let your letterer do their job. They’re not just your friggin typist. You want to emphasise Carol’s shocked exclamation, the letterer can do that by playing with fonts, sizing, colour and speech bubbles. You don’t need to vomit out interrobangs like a seven-year-old who’s just discovered punctuation.)

anyway yes this book is a nightmare.

#comics talk #the days of our lives of captain marvel

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pvelez · 4 years ago

Text

BEAUTY IS THE MYSTERY OF LIFE

https://www.artbook.com/blog-excerpt-agnes-martin-beauty-is-the-mystery-of-life.html

Agnes Martin: "Beauty Is the Mystery of Life"Below is Agnes Martin's 1989 essay, "Beauty is the Mystery of Life," reproduced from our essential monograph, published to accompany the critically-acclaimed touring retrospective. Reviewing our book for the New York Times Book Review alongside Nancy Princenthal's aptly-timed new biography, Patricia Albers made special note of this particular text, asserting that it is "not to be missed." When I think of art I think of beauty. Beauty is the mystery of life. It is not in the eye it is in the mind. In our minds there is awareness of perfection. We respond to beauty with emotion. Beauty speaks a message to us. We are confused about this message because of distractions. Sometimes we even think that it is in the mail. The message is about different kinds of happiness and joy. Joy is most successfully represented in Beethoven’s ninth Symphony and by the Parthenon. All art work is about beauty; all positive work represents it and celebrates it. All negative art protests the lack of beauty in our lives. When a beautiful rose dies beauty does not die because it is not really in the rose. Beauty is an awareness in the mind. It is a mental and emotional response that we make. We respond to life as though it were perfect. When we go into a forest we do not see the fallen rotting trees. We are inspired by a multitude of uprising trees. We even hear a silence when it is not really silent. When we see a new born baby we say it is beautiful – perfect. The goal of life is happiness and to respond to life as though it were perfect is the way to happiness. It is also the way to positive art work. It is not in the role of an artist to worry about life – to feel responsible for creating a better world. This is a very serious distraction. All of your conditioning has been directed toward intellectual living. This is useless in art work. All human knowledge is useless in art work. Concepts, relationships, categories, classifications, deductions are distractions of mind that we wish to hold free for inspiration. There are two parts of the mind. The outer mind that records facts and the inner mind that says “yes” and “no”. When you think of something that you should do the inner mind says “yes” and you feel elated. We call this inspiration. For an artist this is the only way. There is no help anywhere. He must listen to his own mind. The way of an artist is an entirely different way. It is a way of surrender. He must surrender to his own mind. When you look in your mind you find it covered with a lot of rubbishy thoughts. You have to penetrate these and hear what your mind is telling you to do. Such work is original work. All other work made from ideas is not inspired and it is not art work. Art work is responded to with happy emotions. Work about ideas is responded to with other ideas. There is so much written about art that it is mistaken for an intellectual pursuit. It is quite commonly thought that the intellect is responsible for everything that is made and done. It is commonly thought that everything that is can be put into words. But there is a wide range of emotional response that we make that cannot be put into words. We are so used to making these emotional responses that we are not consciously aware of them till they are represented in art work. Our emotional life is really dominant over our intellectual life but we do not realize it. You must discover the art work that you like and realize the response that you make to it. You must especially know the response that you make to your own work. It is in this way that you discover your direction and the truth about yourself. If you do not discover your response to your own work you miss the reward. You must look at the work and know how it makes you feel. If you are not an artist you can make discoveries about yourself by knowing your response to work that you like. Ask yourself: “What kind of happiness do I feel with this music or this picture.” There is happiness that we feel without any material stimulation. We may wake up in the morning feeling happy for no reason. Abstract or non objective feelings are a very important part of our lives. Personal emotions and sentimentality are anti-art. We make art work as something that we have to do not knowing how it will work out. When it is finished we have to see if it is effective. Even if we obey inspiration we cannot expect all the work to be successful. An artist is a person who can recognize failure.

If you were a composer you would not expect everything you played to be a composition. It is the same in the graphic arts. There are many failures. Art work is the only work in the world that is unmaterialistic. All other work contributes to human welfare and comfort. You can see from this that human welfare and comfort are not the interests of the artist. He is irresponsible because his life goes in a different direction. His mind will be involved with beauty and happiness. It is possible to work at something other than art and maintain this state of mind and be moving ahead as an artist. The unmaterial interest is essential. The newest trend and the art scene are unnecessary distractions for a serious artist. He will be much more rewarded responding to art of all times and places. Not as art history but considering each piece and its value to him. You can’t think “My life is more important than the work” and get the work. You have to think the work is paramount in your life. An artist’s life is adventurous. One new thing after another. I have been talking directly to artists but it applies to all. Take advantage to the awareness of perfection in your mind. See perfection in every thing around you. See if you can discover your true feelings when listening to music. Make happiness your goal. The way to discover the truth about this life is to discover yourself. Say to yourself: “What do I like and what do I want.” Find out exactly what you want in life. Ask your mind for inspiration about everything. Beauty illustrates happiness; the wind in the grass, the glistening waves following each other, the flight of birds, all speak of happiness. The clear blue sky illustrates a different kind of happiness and soft dark night a different kind. There are an infinite number of different kinds of happiness. The response is the same for the observer as it is for the artist. The response to art is the real art field. Composition is an absolute mystery. It is dictated by the mind. The artist searches for certain sounds or lines that are acceptable to the mind and finally an arrangement of them that is acceptable. The acceptable compositions arouse certain feelings of appreciation in the observer. Some compositions appeal to some and some to others. But if they are not accepted by the artist’s mind they will not appeal to anyone. Composition and acceptance by mind are essential to art work. Commercial art is consciously made to appeal to the senses which is quite different. Art work is very valuable and it is also very scarce. It takes a great deal of application to make a composition that is totally acceptable. Beethoven’s symphonies with every note composed represent a titanic human effort. To progress in life you must give up the things that you do not like. Give up doing the things that you do not like to do. You must find the things that you do like. The things that are acceptable to your mind. You can see that you will have to have time to yourself to find out what appeals to your mind. While you go along with others you are not really living your life. To rebel against others is just as futile. You must find your way. Happiness is being on the beam with life – to feel the pull of life. - Agnes Martin, 1989

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thepandemicinterviews · 5 years ago

Text

Issy, August 9 2020, Sydney

When a housemate leaves, certain objects, sounds, and interactions disappear from your domestic landscape. Sometimes tears are shed. You say goodbye knowing that you will likely never occupy space together in the same way again.

In my two years of living in this house, I have seen eight people leave (not a reflection on this house or my presence in it, I promise). The most recent loss was Issy. When Issy moved in late January of this year, she immediately baked a cake for my housemate’s birthday. With scissors, she cut all of the overgrown grass in the backyard, then cleared out years worth of junk from the garage. She called for house dinners to become a regular occurrence. Issy, in all of her determination and readiness for life, seemed profoundly unrelatable to me at first. The adjective I used to describe her was “perfect,” meaning good at everything: running, talking, living, kind, intelligent… But the word perfect is too reductive, or cursed with a certain jealousy. It implies a cohesiveness that simply does not exist in the best of people.

Let’s just say then that I love her, and her multiplicity. I’ve loved her presence in this house. At her farewell, I gave her the unedited version of this interview printed on pages stuck to newspaper. Not so much an interview as a chat between two friends drinking red wine with a lot to say. At the risk of sounding too sentimental (no such thing), I’m so glad we got to have this little piece of recorded history together, Issy.

The best part about Issy’s cakes was that they were never too sweet. And she wasn’t either.

The first image included in the interview is an artwork Issy sent me. When I asked her about it, she told me it represented for her an idea of “stagnant motion, connectedness but disconnectedness.” What better captures the feeling of wrestling forward in a year that wants nothing but to hold you back? The artist Nancy Spero, I learnt, was a central figure in the feminist art movement of the mid-20th century. From the MoMA website: Spero described her works as “ephemeral monuments” to the full range of women’s experience: tragic and triumphant, degraded and powerful, victimized and liberated. Multiplicity as the underlying current defining womanhood. Everything is true and simultaneously, wrote Chris Kraus.

Me not being an art scholar, I will rely instead on Spero’s passionately written Wikipedia article: Although her collaged and painted scrolls were Homeric in both scope and depth, the artist shunned the grandiose in content as well as style, relying instead on intimacy and immediacy, while also revealing the continuum of shocking political realities underlying enduring myths. Paying attention to the immediate and the intimate, alongside an understanding of the myths that politics is built upon, seems to me a useful lens through which to study the pandemic today. What is the everyday texture of living through a historically and politically unprecedented time? How do we signal love? What are the myths propelling counterproductive human behaviour? This novel coronavirus laughs in the face of neoliberalism.

I will end this overwrought introduction with this fragment from Spero’s interview with artist Phong Bui:

Spero: You know, being with Leon and having my three beautiful sons, I am really blessed in a lot of ways. Otherwise, by living day-to-day, one realizes the firmness of cruelty, what people do to each other. But then one realizes that it’s always built with double meaning of the conflicted self. Whether it’s through language and gesture and thoughts, and so on…

Bui: That’s true. And that’s why we deal with that intense closeness of that duality through art, instead of hurting ourselves or others which I think is overrated.

However you can, in this dark unending year of 2020, make art instead.

C: This might be a strange question to start with, but what have been some of your favourite memories throughout Covid?

I: That is an interesting one because I definitely think there have been some really beautiful moments. I was looking through my phone camera the other day to see what has happened. I don’t take many photos, but a few things popped out. I definitely remember the night that we all spent together, you know the one that we had that group photo by the table? I think it was when Josh was in the house. It wasn’t my birthday dinner but it was one around that time. The house nights? I feel like we went through a period of having dinners which was super beautiful. Also around my birthday period, I went with Maya – you remember how on my birthday I went and drove to Collaroy? Which is a bit ridiculous. There was a moment when we’d gone to the beach and the sun was almost setting. There were still quite a few people around and Covid hadn’t fully hit the Beaches yet, so there were people around, and I hadn’t been in the ocean in months. And I remember us just finally setting our stuff down on the beach and getting into our swimmers and running into the ocean. And Maya’s very… How to describe her? You can’t. But she’s very beautiful and she was very much like, you know, this is a cleansing moment and experience, and a new year for you, and we need to jump into the ocean and make a wish. Which, when I’m with her, I definitely get on board with. So we jumped into the ocean and it just felt super cleansing and super beautiful and the sun was super warm. So that was a very nice moment. I think also, connecting with her in Australia as opposed to being in France, like last year on my birthday we were in Lyon. And we made a promise that every year, if it’s possible, that we’re going to be in a different country for our birthdays. So that was also hopeful and very nice.

C: So you have the same birthday?

I: No, her birthday’s a couple of months away from mine. But I think we’ll do something for both of them. We’re both birthday people [laughs]. But, yeah, I’m trying to think of other things. I mean, it’s tricky. Because I feel like there’s definitely moments that I’ve forgotten. It feels like it’s been the longest time but also the shortest time, and so much has happened but also nothing has. So I feel like almost just the nothingness has been nice in some moments I suppose.

C: Is that because you don’t feel like you have to be the busy, productive person you are in normal life?

I: I definitely feel like I still have that a little bit [laughs]. It’s funny, because I was kind of wondering what I’ve learnt over Covid. And I think, one thing that I’m still trying to learn is the idea that I need to not value my time and my self based on productivity. Especially when you can’t be that productive. I used to do quite a bit of volunteering, and obviously working a lot, and study and all of the little social events that I’ve been missing. And a lot of that’s been cut out, so it has just been like, trying to come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to not be doing things all the time. But it’s also hard because then you’re in your head more. Which is something that I think – I probably subconsciously try to keep busy so that I wasn’t doing that. So that’s been an interesting experience.

C: Can you elaborate on that? Like, how did it change throughout the months? Were there certain time markers for you?

I: Definitely the months have been quite distinct. But they also all merge into one when you think about it. I feel like I’ve had quite fragmented experiences. And I think the time markers are probably a lot to do with the people in my life as opposed to the things that I’ve been doing. Just because I have been doing less. But, I mean obviously having different housemates come into the house, and having different months where different friends are free. Seeing different people has been more of a time marker.

C: And that period when you weren’t working as well…

I: Yeah, I mean it’s tricky because that’s the first time I haven’t worked since I was 14, but at the same time I was so busy with Uni and study that it was probably really positive for my studies. But it did feel very consuming in that as well, in that I felt I had to totally immerse in that. It was fortunate I was doing interesting subjects.

C: What was it like finding out that Uni was online suddenly?

I: It was funny, I found out – I had been at Uni that day, and I went into work that night, and I was talking to some customers about how Covid was just hitting, and how everyone was going. And they were at UNSW, and I was like, Oh, I think UNSW’s shutting down, right? But UTS is probably not going to do that anytime soon. And they were like, Oh, no, UTS has shut down [laughs]. And I was like, what? I was there today! And they were like, Oh, my sister just sent me a screenshot of an email she received tonight. Your uni’s shut down! And so I found out that way, which was funny. But I mean honestly, as a law student, I felt quite lucky and quite privileged that a lot of what I do is totally capable of being online. And I felt really bad for students who are in more practical degrees. I have friends at the National Art School and friends doing med and science and whatnot, which is a lot more lab-based and necessary to be in a studio. Whereas, for law, it’s totally capable of being online. And I quite enjoy independent study. I am lucky to be self-motivated in that sense that I enjoy having my own space and being able to just do my readings. And Zoom has been interesting, watching how people adjust to an online format. And you definitely miss that human connection and having that more organic class discussion, I suppose. But at the same time, it’s very minimal negative compared to what other people are experiencing.

C: I felt like I really enjoyed my English classes on Zoom, and I felt much more willing to participate.

I: Oh really? Why’s that?

C: I think not having the awkward like, not having to signal that I was about to talk – just like, unmuting myself or raising my hand virtually was a lot easier for me than doing it in-person. And I’m always someone who does feel like I’m on the precipice of saying something but I just leave it half a second too long. Being invisible – sometimes I would drink wine, smoke during my classes and I would just be more confident as a result.

I: Yeah, I get that. That makes total sense. I’ve had the inverse experience, because I’m definitely less confident in a virtual setting. I think I’ve had a similar thing where I feel like I miss a second, I miss a beat, and people move on quite quickly in the virtual realm. And so I’ve had that experience this semester. Whereas, usually in class I’m just like, Me! And I just say things and it just flows more naturally for me there I think.

C: Did you have to have video on during your Zoom classes?

I: Yeah.

C: That would’ve changed things for me a lot I think.

I: Did you not?

C: No! No one had video on in either of my classes.

I: Oh, that’s so much nicer. That’s the thing, as soon as you start speaking your face is immediately in front of everybody.

C: Exactly, so I felt really good knowing that no one knew who I was, and I could say shit and no one would attribute it to me. They didn’t know me.

I: That’s interesting though, because you say no one knew who you were, but they knew your name and they knew your voice.

C: Yeah, but this was my last semester, like they would never see me.

I: But do you feel like that’s totally attributable to a visual thing, like to your face? Because, I mean, your name will be something…

C: Partly. I think, also, the class was really well-run, I loved my tutor, and it felt like a space where I could share ideas. And it felt really linked to Covid in a lot of ways, while we were talking about all these big ideas, reading Marx, reading Marcuse, and talking about free speech and universities and all of that. I guess this can lead me onto my next question. Did you feel like any of the things you were learning throughout your semester were linked to what was going on in the world around you? Because you were doing international law and stuff?

I: It’s funny, because that was the thing I was going to say from your comment. I think that’s one thing my studies lacked, was a link. Because it’s crazy we’re all going through this really immediate and collective and present thing in our lives, and then none of the content we were learning was really related to it. And none of the teachers really sought to relate it either. Which I was disappointed with. But also, it was a really tough time for them as well to have to adjust, in terms of entire learning materials, to the present situation. And I think international law always has relevance. Definitely it has become really relevant in the past month or so, with different relations between major players or whatnot. And that’s something I’ve really appreciated and I’ve found a deep interest in that from studying it. But they didn’t relate it to Covid throughout the semester. Maybe they’ll adjust. There’s time. Covid’s still going.

C: Yeah, how do you feel about the ongoingness of this pandemic? Like, we’re in August, we’ve lived through six months of it already. Where does it end?

I: Did you talk about this in your class at all?

C: No. I think we’ve only recently reached the point where we’ve come to terms with it and accepted it as part of daily life. And we don’t know when it’s going to end. But I think, before, everything that happened was so new and shocking and uncomfortable. I feel like we’ve gotten to a place where we’re starting to get comfortable with this new way of life.

I: Yeah, definitely. I think it’s going to be really interesting – I mean, I hope people take this as an opportunity to change a lot of really structural things. But it is going to be interesting how little things that we wouldn’t have considered normal have become normalised, and will just become part of our daily life. I don’t know when this is going to end. I mean, I feel like particularly in Australia, we’re super lucky that it is quite insular. And I mean it’s very easy to look at it at a larger scale and be really overwhelmed with what’s going on in the rest of the world. But in Australia it’s quite easy to feel like nothing has changed, but then obviously everything has. And there’s lots of things that have for a lot of people. If you look at my life, on a personal level, it probably hasn’t massively? But you think about the way that you’ve learnt things over the last few months, and the way that you have perceived things and changed things in your life to accommodate different things. And that’s definitely changed. I think it’s very easy to think that nothing has changed here? Or to minimise that. But it definitely will. And I hope people are aware of that. And I think one of the positive things that’s come out of this is this sense of collective experience. And obviously not everyone’s having the same experience; it might be like a super privileged view to be like, The Collective! But, you know, I think people are probably more willing to empathise in certain situations now.

C: It’s just such a rare event to happen. And it’s so rare for everyone to be affected by it. To be affected by anything singular. So I do think it’s a collective experience that we haven’t had previously, but obviously everyone’s going to have a different experience, but it is still a collective experience to go through.

I: Definitely. And I think in a time where everyone is so virtually connected as well. Like I don’t think the world has experienced a pandemic like this where everyone has been able to have a platform where they can voice their own experiences and feel a sense of community, worldwide even. Which is very interesting. I think the Internet is a slowly rising tide of panic, so it’s hard to… I think another thing that has really emerged in this time for me has been this idea of like – and I think you spoke to Zach a little bit about this – is this idea of like balancing your need or want or desire to be engaged, and then also needing to not feel overwhelmed as well. And it’s hard, because balance is so important, but where do you find that line.

C: But also we wouldn’t have reacted as strongly as we did – Australia – if it weren’t for what we saw play out through the news in Italy, in particular. I think, for me, when it hit that this was this big thing that was happening, was when I was reading about Italy and how terrible it was all of a sudden, late February. Like, this is going to happen here. But because we had that example, you know, we acted quickly and I’m very thankful that we are geographically distant from –

I: Like designed to deal with something like this?

C: Yeah.

I: Yeah, I think that’s definitely true. And I think it’s quite impressive how we reacted quite quickly to that. And I mean, that’s a testament to our society and democracy and whatnot. But I mean, there’s definitely been miniscule crises that have reflected things that have happened in Italy, like the aged care crisis at the moment was also present in Italy and was something that we definitely should have foreshadowed, and been more able to react more quickly to. I mean, I think it’s quite lucky we have a healthcare system that is comparatively, particularly to the US, very well-designed and very accessible. It’s been one of our saving graces also. Like it’s such a crisis in the US. Having my sister in New York has been terrifying and eye-opening.

C: How do you feel about moving back to Gosford and being away from everyone?

I: I don’t know. I think it definitely comes in waves. Ultimately, I think I feel quite positive about it. I think it’s what I need for myself at the moment and for my research. But it’s going to be hard. Like, on a scale of things that are hard, probably not that hard compared to what other people have to do. Yeah, it’s going to be weird being away from the city. But I’m also really excited to be away, and to be in nature a little bit more, and be close to the beach, and just be in a really tranquil environment where I’m not stressed. I don’t know why, but I’ve just been going through a bit of a weird time. And I don’t know if that’s like a Covid effect catching up to me.

C: I think everyone in Sydney is feeling a bit anxious that it’s going to hit here because of what’s happened in Melbourne. And we’re just all in this high alert mode. I think it makes sense to go to somewhere a bit out of the city at the moment.

I: Yeah, I definitely think that’s true. I’m going to miss everyone a lot. But I think, being out of the city will be a positive for me. Everyone’s on such high alert, it’s like a really anxious environment. It’s also hard with work at the moment as well, it’s a pretty stressful space to be in. And I love them, but I feel like I’m working so I can live in the city, but I’m not doing anything here, essentially, other than writing my thesis. So I could take away the work and just write my thesis, which will be productive over the next couple of months at least. But I will be back. I definitely can’t see myself living on the coast long-term. Just having been away last year, spending a bit more time with my mum will be really nice. But I feel like there will definitely be a limit to that.

C: Hopefully it coincides with Covid…

I: Yeah, I’m feeling maybe everything will shut down and it will just make complete sense for me to be at home. I definitely get antsy and I like changing things and I make quite rash decisions sometimes. But ultimately, I think that they make sense. And it’s something that I have thought more about than I would let myself believe. But I think it all makes sense. But I hope Sydney doesn’t go into lockdown again, because I feel like that will affect a lot of people really deeply.

C: Yeah. I mean, I don’t think we will because we have Melbourne as an example and people are being fairly proactive. And it seems like we thought it might have happened already, but it hasn’t.

I: Yeah, I think that’s one of the worst things about this, right, is the anticipation or the waiting for something to change. And like, feeling like you’re in this weird limbo-y period. It just feels like a weird hiatus from how things would normally work. But then it’s like, maybe this is just how things are normally working.

C: It’s like a middle ground between like, you can’t hang out with more than one person, but we’re not in Melbourne lockdown, obviously, we can go out to restaurants, we can go out for drinks, everything’s like normal-ish.

I: It’s such a weird distinction between being capable of going out for drinks and not feeling like you should, and feeling guilty if you do, and that you’re not taking enough precautionary measures. Yeah, definitely heightening anxiety for a lot of people and feelings of guilt. How are you feeling about it?

C: I don’t know. I think we’ll be in this vague uncertainty for a few months. Like at the beginning of everything, I think everyone thought it would be over in six months. Like spring was when it would get back to normal. And I was like, hopefully by the time it’s my birthday, warehouse parties will be back and we can go out after hanging out here. But that’s obviously not the case, so. I’m okay with it, as long as we have what we have now. I don’t think our restrictions will get that much tighter, hopefully. I’m okay with it. It is sad, but it would be much worse to be in the US. Like to have a government that doesn’t care about you.

I: Yeah, I mean I definitely think there’s certain sects of our society that the Australian government doesn’t care about.

C: Absolutely.

I: But the US is definitely… I don’t know if we should be comparing ourselves to the US though, because it’s such a low threshold to be better than them. Like it’s definitely a crisis over there.

C: It’s just wild, because it just seems like they have no understanding of – like they haven’t experienced having the government put restrictions on them in the way that we have, which would just make so much sense, because it’s so much more widespread there. But it’s like, maybe you shouldn’t gather with more than 50 people.

I: I think neo-liberalism is just so much more entrenched in the US. I mean, it’s definitely very present in Australia and has very widespread impacts here. But very very entrenched in the US. I think the population size as well, and the way that the Trump administration has been running for the last – God, it’s like four years now? How insane is that. They were not prepared to deal with something like this. Like, can you imagine? They can’t even get rid of guns.

C: It’s the only country in the world that has had such a political response to, like, mask-wearing. It’s insane.

I: And then you think of countries that are super equipped to deal with it. That have done it very efficiently.

C: Yeah, like South Korea. They were one of the first countries to get it. I remember reading all my emails that were already loaded because I was on a flight back from Melbourne and this was late February. I was just reading all the New York Times daily briefing emails. And I was like, fuck, it’s really taking off in South Korea! This is wild, like it’s all been passed on through this cult. Like, South Korea, Iran, Italy – what random countries to have Covid. Like, this is wild. But then, South Korea quashed it immediately while it went rampant in Italy for a while. Every place that got hit hard immediately, at the beginning, is doing fairly well now. Like New York compared to the rest of the US is doing fairly well.

I: Yeah, that’s true. I feel like it’s just a process of people having to learn how to deal with it. The experience of going through it, I guess, would change people’s perceptions of it and how they’re going to react to it as well. My sister actually did a really – at the start of Covid, in New York – she did quite a beautiful storytelling that her friend back here – her best friend, she’s an illustrator – did an illustration to. I’ll show you sometime.

C: I can link it.

I: It’s a good thing to watch, and I think it kind of represents the start of Covid and people’s feelings at the start of Covid quite beautifully. It’s really tinged with this kind of sadness but also unknowing. This understanding that people are being quite kind to each other in a way that they previously wouldn’t have been, because of the collective experience. I’ll show you.

vimeo

C: Do you think this has changed the way people interact with each other in a way that will last?

I: Hmm. I don’t know if that’s super relevant for Australia, or if that has affected Australia as much. I don’t think so. I think here it’s become more of an individual protection thing. And because we haven’t been hit as hard, I don’t think the understanding of it has gone as deep.

C: I think in Melbourne, maybe.

I: Maybe in Melbourne. Yeah, I don’t know anyone in Melbourne really at the moment. I haven’t spoken to them.

C: I think they will come out of this feeling like they had a very different experience to the rest of Australia. Like for us, I do feel like people are wearing masks more and more in Sydney. But I don’t think it will ever be mandated. I don’t think we’ll reach that point, hopefully. But they will have had to go through like – not being able to leave your house after 8pm is a very intense thing to have to live through. Which we’ll probably never understand.

I: How do you think that would work in Sydney? Like do you think that if we got to that point, it would change people’s perceptions of Covid and each other?

C: Probably. I think we’ve had a fairly light quarantine lockdown experience compared to a lot of people in the world. Even my New Zealand friends, when they were going through their six-week lockdown, it was a lot more intense than what we went through. I think we never really had it that hard in Sydney, and got through it fairly quickly and easily.

I: Yeah, definitely. I mean, I feel like it was such a minimal scale here. And it’s tricky, because I remember talking to my friend Thomas who works at PIAC. He was doing social housing policy during that time at the start of Covid. And he was like, suddenly, you know, government funding has opened up, and suddenly anything’s possible. We’re housing a lot of homeless people. And he was trying to work on more long-lasting solutions to that. And the quarantine didn’t last long enough for them to implement real change in that sector, I don’t think. And suddenly people were back – they stopped their program, so people were back out on the streets. And that was a noticeable shift, as soon as Covid started lessening, you saw people back out on the streets again, and that was a really harsh reality of government priorities as well. But I feel like in Sydney because it was so light, it almost didn’t allow for that opportunity to implement sustainable change in areas that definitely need it. And that could’ve been a positive that came out of it, but… What would be your positives that have come out of Covid?

C: Like, any positives? I think I’ve had a fairly normal experience throughout Covid in that I still worked my normal job that I’ve had for the past four years, I did Uni, I had a lot of – probably more so than ever – interactions with housemates because of Covid. So I never felt like I had a lot taken away from me. But I think all the fun things we had as a house, especially me, you and Citi, sitting on my bed gossiping, playing Skribblio was really fun. And Josh was here throughout the peak of Covid, which was really fun. It was good to have people around. I didn’t think that I needed it. I thought that I could deal with it all on my own in Woy Woy if I wanted to. But I think at the end of it, I was really like, I’m really glad I had social interaction because so many people haven’t had that opportunity, and it was really nice.

I: Yeah, I think that was definitely a positive. I mean, I’m sure it was more intense for Josh. But like having come just into a house as Covid was hitting and suddenly, that’s your social interaction. I really loved that element of it because it meant that we all got to know each other quite well quite quickly. And I’m sure that was more intense for Josh, having come in literally the week we went into lockdown. But I almost feel like prior to that, living in the house, we obviously all liked each other and got along, but we’d see each other quite fleetingly because we were all so busy doing our own thing, and then suddenly we had freed up this space to spend with each other. I think we all got closer a lot quicker because of that.

C: It is really nice. I don’t think I’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re leaving.

I: Neither have I.

C: It’s like a week away right? I will be very sad.

I: I’m also going to be very sad.

C: I think this is the best house that could’ve happened during lockdown.

I: Yeah, we had such a perfect lockdown dynamic. It’s hard, because you don’t want to say this, like you’re minimising other people’s experiences…

C: Hey, this is exactly what comes up every interview, but you know, it’s all about your subjective experience.

I: Yeah. But I mean, we did have a lot of fun.

C: Yeah, and it’s okay to!

I: Yeah, I think that’s another thing that I’ve been thinking about a lot, is trying not to invalidate your own experiences by thinking about other people’s. It’s very important to be aware of other people’s experiences but ultimately, you’ve gone through your own thing.

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hardcorefornerds · 8 years ago

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we have always been unhappy

Since about 1930 the world has given no reason for optimism whatever. Nothing is in sight except a welter of lies, hatred, cruelty and ignorance, and beyond our present troubles loom vaster ones which are only now entering into the European consciousness. It is quite possible that man’s major problems will NEVER be solved. But it is also unthinkable! Who is there who dares to look at the world of today and say to himself, “It will always be like this: even in a million years it cannot get appreciably better?” So you get the quasi-mystical belief that for the present there is no remedy, all political action is useless, but that somewhere in space and time human life will cease to be the miserable brutish thing it now is.

The only easy way out is that of the religious believer, who regards this life merely as a preparation for the next. But few thinking people now believe in life after death, and the number of those who do is probably diminishing. The Christian churches would probably not survive on their own merits if their economic basis were destroyed.

The real problem is how to restore the religious attitude while accepting death as final. Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness. It is most unlikely, however, that Koestler would accept this. There is a well-marked hedonistic strain in his writings, and his failure to find a political position after breaking with Stalinism is a result of this.

George Orwell, ‘Arthur Koestler’ (1944)

Saw some commentary on Twitter to the effect that rather than reading Orwell’s 1984 to understand this era of Trump, people should be reading Kafka instead. It’s true that 1984 is not really the most accurate portrayal of modern surveillance and disinformation techniques, and that Kafka’s view of bureaucratic absurdity is closer to many problems of modern life, but I still have an affinity for Orwell as a political writer (and critic). In this review, which contains one of my favourite quotes from him, or anyone - “All revolutions are failures, but they are not all the same failure” - he tackles the issue of revolutionary pessimism that naturally occupied socialists after the betrayals of Stalinism, or at least those capable of critical thought (Twitter Communists may disagree).

I just finished reading Stuart Jeffries’ Grand Hotel Abyss: The Lives of the Frankfurt School, and not only issues of pessimism but of happiness itself featured heavily, particularly in the later chapters. When every artsy leftist seems to have read Minima Moralia (I haven’t) the negativity of Adorno repelled me (though I recognise it is more subtle and sophisticated, of course); Marcuse sounds particularly interesting; and Habermas, too, I think I need to try and re-engage with (insofar as my undergrad skimming counted as ‘engagement’; currently dipping into Nancy Fraser’s critique of his lifeworld/system distinction in Fortunes of Feminism, also from the Verso sale). For novels to read at the moment, I have the bleak Midnight in the Century by another author Orwell mentions above, and of whom I’m a big fan, Victor Serge.

#books #orwell #socialism

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toothlesswonders · 5 years ago

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Words have power. Their meaning crystallizes perceptions that shape our beliefs, drive our behavior, and ultimately, create our world. Their power arises from our emotional responses when we read, speak, or hear them. Just say the word “fire” while barbequing, or in the workplace, or in a crowded theater, and you’ll get three completely different but powerful emotional and energetic reactions.

The Illusion of Life

Quantum physics long ago determined that physical matter doesn’t really exist, that everything is just energy in different states of vibration. Nobel Prize winning physicist Werner Heisenberg once stated, “Atoms or elementary particles themselves are not real; they form a world of potentialities or possibilities, rather than one of things or facts.” This energy vibrates at an infinite number of subtle frequencies that cause it to appear as all the different creations we see in our world. There has been a great deal of research in recent years as to whether the universe we live in is actually a holographic experience, and it seems that this is very close to the truth.

And so, it seems life is more of an energy flow than a collection of solid things. What that means for us is that if we stay conscious of the energy we contain, based on the emotions we feel, we can make deliberate choices that alter our frequency and create the realities we desire. If we’re feeling down about something, we can choose to reframe the situation and raise our own spirits. With a renewed perspective and a higher, more positive energetic vibration, we stand a much better chance of bringing good into our lives, rather than bitterly repeating old mistakes.

Words are extremely powerful tools that we can use to uplift our personal energy and improve our lives, though we’re often not conscious of the words we speak, read, and expose ourselves to. Yes, even the words of others can easily affect our personal vibration. Spend a few minutes with a chronic complainer who uses all sorts of negative terms, and you’ll feel your personal energy bottom out. Words have great power, so choose them (and your friends) wisely!

Words & Water

Japanese scientist, Masaru Emoto performed some of the most fascinating experiments on the effect that words have on energy in the 1990’s. When frozen, water that’s free from all impurities will form beautiful ice crystals that look exactly like snowflakes under a microscope. Water that’s polluted, or has additives like fluoride, will freeze without forming crystals. In his experiments, Emoto poured pure water into vials labeled with negative phrases like “I hate you” or “fear.” After 24 hours, the water was frozen, and no longer crystallized under the microscope: It yielded gray, misshapen clumps instead of beautiful lace-like crystals. In contrast, Emoto placed labels that said things like “I Love You,” or “Peace” on vials of polluted water, and after 24 hours, they produced gleaming, perfectly hexagonal crystals. Emoto’s experiments proved that energy generated by positive or negative words can actually change the physical structure of an object. The results of his experiments were detailed in a series of books beginning with The Hidden Messages in Water, where you can see the astounding before and after photos of these incredible water crystals.

The Power of Gratitude

In another experiment, Emoto tested the power of spoken words. He placed two cups of cooked white rice in two separate mason jars and fixed the lids in place, labeling one jar “Thank You” and the other, “You Fool.” The jars were left in an elementary school classroom, and the students were instructed to speak the words on the labels to the corresponding jars twice a day. After 30 days, the rice in the jar that was constantly insulted had shriveled into a black, gelatinous mass. The rice in the jar that was thanked was as white and fluffy as the day it was made. This dramatic example of the power of words is also detailed in Emoto’s books.

Throw-away Words

How many times a day do we throw our words away? We say things like, “I hate my hair,” “I’m so stupid,” “I’m such a klutz.” We never think that these words bring negative energy into our vibration and affect us on a physical level, but they do. Emoto’s experiments were conducted with water. Why? Because sound vibration travels through water four times faster than it does through open air. Consider the fact that your body is over 70% water and you’ll understand how quickly the vibration from negative words resonates in your cells. Ancient scriptures tell us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. As it turns out, that’s not a metaphor.

Say That Again

Some of us are in the habit of using the same negative words over and over again out of habit. The problem is that the more we hear, read, or speak a word or phrase, the more power it has over us. This is because the brain uses repetition to learn, searching for patterns and consistency as a way to make sense of the world around us. Only after being burned a few times can we understand that fire is always hot. You may not remember the exact end date of the Civil War, but odds are you still know what 8 x 9 is because you had to repeat your multiplication tables over and over again, drilling it into your consciousness. I’m sure you’ve experienced having a song stuck in your head all day long, and try as you might, you just can’t get the melody out of your head. Repetition is the most powerful tool to imprint something into our minds and keep it there.

This is of particular concern when we consider a phenomenon called the Illusion of Truth Effect. It basically proves that any statement we read, see, or speak regularly is seen as more valid than one we’re exposed to only occasionally. Amazingly, it makes no difference whether the information is true or false. The only thing that matters is how often we’re exposed to it. Research from the University of California at Santa Barbara clearly shows that a weak message repeated twice becomes more valid than a strong message heard only once. Even one repetition has the power to change our minds. The same goes for pictures, which are just thoughts and ideas concentrated into an image. Repetition increases our mental validation of anything we’re exposed to, which is why it works so well in political propaganda.

If we’re not fully conscious of what we’re exposing ourselves to, consistency will trump truth every time. Now consider how many times you’ve falsely called yourself stupid, untalented, ugly, or anything else, and you begin to understand how your internal propaganda shapes a false self-image.

1. Making Words Work.

To consciously harness the power of words for your benefit, start with the ones you’re using.

2. No Name-Calling or Self-Criticism.

Everyone is doing the best they can at any moment in time with the consciousness they have to work with, including you. Be kind and offer yourself the same empathy and compassion you’d extend to anyone else.

3. Stop All Self-Deprecation.

Never make your body, or something you’ve accomplished, or anything else in your life the butt of a joke. Words have power, and quantum energy doesn’t have a sense of humor.

4. Resist Gossiping and Speaking Ill of Others.

It’s impossible for your words to resonate in anyone else’s body but your own.

5. Go on a Negativity Diet.

Instead of saying that a meal was terrible say, “I’ve had better.” You’ve basically said what you wanted to say without putting negative energy through your body—you even used a positive word to do it!

6. Boost the Positive Energy of Words.

Instead of saying something like you had a good time at a concert, ramp up the positive energy by saying great, terrific, or fantastic, instead. These feel much better and generate a bigger energetic response in the body.

7. If you have some negative nancys in your circle of friends,

limit the time you spend with them or find better friends. Negative energy has a way of dragging everything surrounding it in, like a big black hole. Avoid it when you can.

8. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting words.

Put affirmations on sticky notes around your home and office that say wonderful things about you, your family, or your goals. Wear clothes that have positive messages or phrases on them. Imagine the kind of positive energy you’ll be generating for yourself when you’re wearing positivity all day long. As you keep doing these things, you use the power of repetition in a highly effective way for your benefit. You have the power to change your world, and using words consciously is one of the quickest ways to shift the energy you bring into your life.

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yesilovehorses-blog1 · 8 years ago

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How Do I Train My Horse to Accept Fly Spray?

New Post has been published on http://lovehorses.net/how-do-i-train-my-horse-to-accept-fly-spray/

How Do I Train My Horse to Accept Fly Spray?

Photo: The Horse Staff

Q. Can you tell me, step-by-step, how I can use learning theory to get my horse to allow me to use a spray bottle on her to apply fly and insect repellant?

A. First I would like to be clear none of this is of my own invention. It's based on simple behavior modification theory and methods I learned from Dr. Sue McDonnell (PhD, Cert. AAB), Shawna Karrasch, and others, including students who ran with these techniques to do various behavior research projects.

The overall objective is for your horse to know that when he does something correct, he gets a reward. You will simply ignore unwanted behaviors. Begin by rewarding just the tiniest part of a behavior that you like, building from small steps into bigger expectations. This is called "successive approximation."

You want to be able to tell your horse immediately that the little thing he just did was what you wanted. So to expedite this, you first must get your horse to associate a food reward, which is a primary reinforcer, with what we call a "bridge," or a secondary reinforcer. A bridge is something that can be administered quickly and lets the horse know "that was right; the reward is coming." A bridge can be a clicker, a whistle, or your voice saying something like "good." A bridge will become just as rewarding as a treat, and allows you to be anywhere and figuratively reward the horse. Otherwise, the only way your horse knows he did the right thing is when you quickly shove food in his mouth … and you can't do that quickly enough if you are anywhere distant from his face. You will be rewarding small correct behaviors with the bridge and immediately alerting the horse that "yes, what you just did there was right!"

I start by asking the horse to turn his head away from me; it's simple and it keeps his nose out of my pocket. I had a foal once who was so fidgety and insistent on tossing his head about that there was no chance of him focusing. So I first rewarded him for pausing. Now, at first that was like a millisecond of being still. But quite soon he stopped being all over the place and began to pay attention to me.

In the following steps, I'll be using a clicker. But you could also use your voice (same word, same tone consistently) instead. Here’s how to teach the bridge and a simple lesson, and link the bridge to a command:

Stand next to the horse with food rewards. If the horse nudges at you for the food, just stand there.

Once the horse stops nudging, then click and give a food treat.

Repeat at the next moment he's not nudging.

Next, click the second he moves his head, even a little bit, in the direction away from you.

Repeat until he's completely turning his head away.

This usually only takes a few minutes, but in this time you will have clicked and given a food treat probably 20 to 30 times. Remember, you are rewarding for each small bit of progress. You will be surprised at how far away he'll try to turn his head!

During this time you can also give the command "away" or something like that at the moment the horse turns his head away and about the same time you use the clicker. Soon he will connect the word "away" with turning his head, the click, and the food reward. So later you can just say "away" and he'll turn his head away.

At this point you will have spent 5 to 10 minutes giving your horse a lesson that will be the basis for anything else you want to teach him. He has learned what the bridge is, that the bridge is a stand-in for a reward, and that if he tries new things something will be "right" and he'll get a reward.

Here is how I would approach teaching a horse that the spray bottle is a good thing. If possible, do this in a stall or small paddock with your horse loose. If you feel that's not safe, tie him or have someone hold him on a lead, but as loose as is feasible and safe. First use plain water, in case his fear or distrust results from either the sound, the feel of the spray, the odor, or all three. This is important: What you are teaching here is to stand still and to do nothing. That can be the simplest, but the hardest, thing for a horse to learn!

First, start with the spray bottle in your hand and approach your horse, even if he's okay with that part already. If she stands still, click and reward.

Then, touch him on the shoulder with the spray bottle, even if he's already ok with that. If he stands still, click and reward.

Continue touching him all over, walking around with the spray bottle, waving it about a bit, and clicking and rewarding for each step if he stands still, even if this didn't bother him before. The previous steps to me are part desensitization (or getting her used to having the spray bottle around) and part getting him to look forward to you coming with the spray bottle.

If the first scary thing to him is the sound of the spray bottle, begin by spraying at a distance away, clicking and rewarding for just standing still. This is where the bridge comes in handy, because you can stand far away and click and he knows at the moment what he did was right, and in a little bit the food reward is coming.

Keep moving closer and spraying the bottle. For each step you get closer and he stands still, click and reward.

If at any point he responds negatively to the spray, go back to your last successful step and do it again.

Get closer and closer until you are spraying right next to him and then on him as he continues to stand still, clicking and rewarding. Then proceed to spray over each section of his body, clicking and rewarding for all the times he stands still.

Remember: You are moving in very small increments, with a click and reward for each thing you do that he stands quietly for. One of the fun things about this is for you to come up with the tiniest increment you can when your horse is really scared or resistant. For example, if a full spray is too much, try spraying into your hand to muffle the sound and spritz dispersal.

I know this might sound tedious, but it goes really fast. We successfully got a dangerous, rearing filly to stand without a halter for vaccinations in about a week of twice daily 5- to 10- minute sessions. I taught the simple bridge and away command to two, 6-month-old foals at the same time in about 10 minutes (that was super fun!).

Here are a couple really important tips:

Keep the session moving. I find that a quick pace keeps your horse and you interested. In 5 to 10 minutes you'll be giving lots of reinforcements for each small progress made.

It helps if your horse is hungry if he's not normally highly food motivated. You might divvy up his feed to give over several training sessions per day. Also, give only tiny food rewards—a couple of feed pellets or a tiny piece of carrot—each time you reward. This will help keep things moving along.

Try to do multiple short sessions each day, if feasible, if you are working on a specific problem. Always end on a good note.

Allow your horse as much freedom as possible, but do so safely. Wear protective gear if you need to.

You can do this alone or with a helper working the clicker and/or giving the rewards. It won't take long for you two to get in sync.

Remember that the horse is, in part, teaching himself, because you are letting him try things and then you are rewarding for him accidentally getting something right. This is not as random as it sounds because you are rewarding for each step in the right direction. He'll pick up on it.

The more you do this, the more productive each new session will be. Horses seem to "learn to learn." Also, because you are rewarding often for small increments toward your ultimate goal, and you are simply ignoring unwanted behaviors, this tends to be a very positive experience for the horse and it is very forgiving of mistakes.

Once your horse gets sprayed enough times and he learns nothing bad will happen, you likely won't need to use any rewards. That will hold true for most things he is scared of or resistant toward. With more complex tricks or maneuvers that you are building on, you might not eliminate the bridge or reward, but go to a system of intermittent rewards. We can discuss that more another time if you want.

About the Author

Nancy Diehl, VMD, MS

Prior to attending veterinary school, Dr. Nancy Diehl completed a master’s degree in animal science while studying stallion sexual behavior. Later, she completed a residency in large animal internal medicine at the University of Pennsylvania’s New Bolton Center and worked in equine practices in Missouri and Pennsylvania. Diehl also spent six years on faculty at Penn State, where she taught equine science and behavior courses and advised graduate students completing equine behavior research. Additionally, Diehl has co-authored scientific papers on stallion behavior, early intensive handling of foals, and feral horse contraception. Currently she is a practicing veterinarian in central Pennsylvania.

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