#i realized yesterday our dad might be coming on the plane w us and i want 2 rip my organs out

[tamagotchikgs]

my brain is so dead right now i need 2 eat but i cannot find my mom and theres no food in the house && i am just hoping shes at the store n will bring smthn back

[beecherdrysdale]

Hi my bbs! I’m so in love with this Greece idea. I literally watched mamma Mia yesterday- that is my fantasy. Like the music, the small island, the romance. I love it.

Haha I guess we both have parents who like to be at the airport three hours early lol.

Hehe yes, everybody is just barely awake and just holding onto each other. Security is annoying,- fun story. Every single time that I go through security the machine always beeps and they make me go through that machine and then they always pat me down in the weirdest places like one time they were like we need to pay down your shoulder. What can I possibly have in my shoulder area? I don’t get it. Ryan would probably chirp me when I get beeped but then he gets beeped as well and needs to be patted down lol . It depends on which country you are at, like some securities require you to take off shoes, some don’t.

When i go on trips w my family we check in our bags but since we’d be going solo, I usually have a big carry on and a big backpack lol. I tend to overpack wbu? I need my extra outfits. So after that, we all find the gate and everyone goes their own way. Like you cuddled up w Jamie and being adorable. Kesh is sleeping on Kirby and I’m getting coffee. Hehe yes getting all our passports and getting checked in would be so chaotic . You and Jamie are lucky that Ryan and I are barley functioning yet so the chirps haven’t started. There would be soooo many snacks. Awww Quinner let’s me keep his beanie. Thank you. Also what do you travel in at airports, do you dress fancy or casual?

Hehe Jamie paying Cozzy $50 to switch seats with him 😂 “Dylan come on” “no Jamie I’m comfortable” “I’ll give you 50 if you switch with me” “fine” lol.

Planes usually have TVs on the seats so we will all be watching movies and Dylan and Jamie can cuddle up to you. Awwww. Kesh and Kirby are just in their own bubble #couplegoals. Nobody is bothering them.

Yes brigid, me, quinner and Ryan will be sitting behind you on the flight. Ly. Quinner is immune to coffee so he passes out real quick and since I love his hair I get to play w it :). The rest off the boys have just passed out.

After take off and we have already settled in for a few hours. I’ve realized that the flight from Can to Greece is about 10-11 hours so we are in for a long flight lol.

Okkk so it’s pretty quiet for the first 2 hours and now some of the boys have woken up.

Brigid + dyl+Jamie: at the start both of them are awake and are excited to sit with you for 10 hours. They hold your hand during take off. You start off with watching a movie but in hour and a half in dyl falls asleep, and you see him in an uncomfortable position so you rest his head on your shoulder or lap and play w his hair. Jamie is still awake but is slowly falling asleep but he wants to spend some time with you, but that doesn’t happen for a long time and he passes out as well and you also move him into a comfy position. After a bit, you all wake up for food and are just cuddly together :)) ooo another thought. Jamie trying to braid your hair to keep himself occupied 🥺

Kirby +kesh: since kesh slept in the airport and a bit on the flight she is making sure that Kirby sleeps a bit. So he’s just leaning on her, and she’s watching a movie or something. Just totally chill and taking care of each other. We love to see that.

Then me quinner and Ryan. Since Quinner falls asleep real quick which I don’t mind since he’s cute and I’ve to play w his hair. Ryan and I are just playing a card game lol. We a bit chaotic because we don’t like to lose, but we become quieter once we realize that the boys around us have fallen asleep. Ryan and I unfortunately will be chirping you quietly Brigid. It’s good entertainment. Since Quinner is still asleep, Ryan and I just listen to music together but also get up a lot so we will be annoying each other hehe.

Do you like airplane food? I don’t mind it, but it’s not the best thing ever so hence the mountain of snacks that quinton and Braden have bought. I’m constantly stealing snacks from them since quinton braden and let’s say Dylan or Peyton are in the row behind mine lol.

Hope you enjoy so far. I’ll be doing a pt 3 for when we touch down.

Xo Lexi💗

yes i am so so in love with this idea, like with the small island and the romance. but anywaysss here’s another long post

haha yep everyone’s barely awake and we’re all holding on to each other bc we don’t want to lose anyone lmao. but somehow ryan gets lost and we don’t realize til we’re about to go through security so we have to facetime him to help him come fine where we are. and then once he gets there we can go through security and you get beeped so ryan is chirping you sm, but then he gets beeped too so we both make fun of him for it lmao

i usually barely pack anything, but it depends how long the trip is going to be. but i usually just bring a couple pairs of shorts and a couple tshirts and hoodies and then mix and match them throughout the vacation. plus i’ll be stealing jamie’s and dyl’s clothes the whole vacation so i don’t really need much lmao. anywaysss so then we find our gate and everyone sets their stuff down. and then “quinner how do you have more shit than me? i literally have half my closet” bc you didn’t realize how much stuff he has til he sets it down lmao. and then everyone goes off their own ways, me and jamie and kesh and kirby to sleep, and then you and the guys to get coffee and food. and then everyone gets back with soooo much food and you’re wearing quinner’s beanie and we’re scrambling to get the passports we need so they’ll let us on the plane. haha yes thank God you and ryan aren’t awake enough to be chirping me and jamie yet. personally, i wear super comfy clothes to the airport like a hoodie and sweats (but let’s be real that’s my everyday outfit) wbu?

lmao so then we’re on the plane and me and dyl already sat down and so did dylan c. and then jamie’s just begging him to switch and finally he does by bribing him. so then ofc you and ryan see it bc you’re sitting right behind us so you just start chirping jamie sm lol. honestly i find it so funny that you and ryan are always chirping me bc with my friends i’m always the one chirping them and they never chirp me back lol. anywaysssss yes we’re all just watching movies or sleeping, i’m in a row with dyl and jamie with you, quinner, and ryan behind me. and then kesh and kirby are together and we’re just leaving them alone for once bc they’re the parents of the friend group so they deserve some rest lmao. and then most of the guys fall asleep real fast and the rest are watching movies bc we know it’s gonna be a longgggggggg flight

me+dyl+jamie - so we start off watching a movie, idk what but def some kind of action movie, but since dyl didn’t sleep in the airport he falls asleep pretty quick so then i have to move him to a comfy position to start playing with his hair. and then jamie and i are just chilling together and watching the movie, but he’s starting to fall asleep again and i can tell he’s just trying to stay awake so i tell him that it’s ok and that he can sleep if he wants to. so then i have to move him into a comfy position too, so i have two very large hockey players sleeping on me and i can’t move lmao. hehe and then they finally wake up for food (ofc it’s for the food) a couple hours later but they’re still tired and being all cuddly 🥺 but then they make me rewatch the entire movie bc they didn’t get to see most of it lol. and we’d definitely end up playing uno or poker bc i’m amazing at both of those, like my family refuses to play with me, so i would make them play me. and also jamie braiding my hair bc i taught him 🥰

kesh+kirby - so basically they’re the adorable couple everyone wants to be. like kesh making sure kirby sleeps, and then kirby doing the same later in the flight. and just playing with each others hair 🥺 and they’re watching movies together. i really don’t have much to add on to this one besides that they’re a top tier couple

lexi+quinner(+ryan) - so yeah apparently quinner’s immune to coffee bc somehow even after 3 of them he passes out real quick on the plane. so then lexi gets to play with his hair bc she’s wearing his beanie so his hair’s not covered lol. haha you and ryan getting super competitive and getting super loud playing card games and then i have to yell at you to shut up bc everyone’s sleeping. so then you guys get annoyed and start chirping me instead while i’m just trying to watch my movie lmao. and then you guys start walking all over the plane and annoying everyone lol. i would also be joining you guys once dyl and jamie wake up bc i can’t still more than like an hour lmao

i mean i’m fine with airplane food (again we usually fly first class bc of my dad’s points from work so i think it might be better food?) except the snacks like trail mix and stuff they give you on the plane are amazing. but anyways besides that airport snacks are better. so then you keep stealing snacks from peyton and braden and quinton behind you so then i commision you to steal snacks for me too, and then eventually you get annoyed and tell me to get them myself so then i get the guys to throw them over the seats to me and then kesh has to tell us to stop so the other people on the plane don’t get annoyed lmao 

ok yes i loved this sm 💖 so excited for part 3!

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (6/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series. 

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now. 

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/N: So maybe something big happens in this chapter. Maybe not. Okay definitely.  Thanks to all of you for continuing to click and read and be so kind and thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for being the kindest❤️

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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-/-

“You’re almost out of milk,” Killian tells Liam as he grabs the gallon out of the refrigerator and pours it into his bowl of Lucky Charms. It was either this or Wheaties, and while Wheaties make more sense for him, Lucky Charms are magically delicious…he’s watched too much TV lately if he’s quoting cereal slogans. “And you guys really need different brands of cereal.”

“We’re running low on groceries because you keep eating everything.”

Liam picks up the box of Lucky Charms between them and places it back in the cabinet, slamming the door shut before he returns to his seat on the barstool on the island. “And because neither Elsa nor I have been able to go to the store in the past two weeks. You should have seen the girls’ lunches this week. It was rough.”

He swirls his spoon around in the cereal, trying to pick up the little brown bits instead of the marshmallows. Isn’t that how everyone eats this? “You do realize there’s such a thing as having your groceries delivered? I do it all the time.”

“Addy likes to come with me, so I like going with her. We have very serious discussions about the branding on food.”

“Of course you do,” he chuckles, taking a bite of the cereal while he flexes his ankles out a bit from the jog that he did before he practiced a few pitches with Will this morning. He still needs to go over his stats and notes tonight and tomorrow for the game, but he’s feeling pretty prepared. It’s their sixteenth game of the season, and while he’s only pitched four games, they’ve won all of those games. They may have a losing record so far, but he doesn’t.

After his first game, that surprises him.

That’s always a good thing when they have to play the Sox on Tuesday. Realistically, he knows that the toughest team they’re going to play this year is the Astros, but the history that’s behind playing the Red Sox is out of this world. Those games are always crazy intense, the atmosphere like nothing he’s ever experienced before, and as much as his nerves rile him up, he thrives in conditions like that.

The fact that they get to go to London to play this year on top of their usual games is fucking amazing.

He’s only geeking out the slightest bit because a boy from Cincinnati should not be allowed to do something like that.

“She’s also very particular about what I buy. Sometimes I swear she’s your child and not mine.”

“Well, I do have a type,” Elsa hums as she walks into the room still dressed in her pajamas, as most everyone should be on a Sunday morning, “but I promise you that those girls are yours, Liam.” She leans into her husband and presses her lips against his temple, making Liam close his eyes and smile. True love and all that. “But if I had to have another baby daddy, I guess we could keep it in the Jones line.”

“That’s really messed up,” he groans, picking at his cereal. “Like, seriously. That is not happening.”

“What? You don’t find my wife attractive?” Liam looks so put out, his lips curved downward and his brows furrowed as he pulls Elsa back to his side, her leg half sitting on top of his.

“I feel like there’s no way for me to answer this question.”

“I think you embarrassed him, honey,” Elsa teases, patting Liam’s hands over her stomach. “His ears are all red. You can see it even though his hair is growing out.”

“It’s just like when he was a kid.”

“I hate both of you,” he grumbles, taking another bite out of his spoonful of Lucky Charms, which does not at all help his cause. “I come over here to spend time with my family on a rare day off, and you guys treat me like this.”

“You play every five days. You have days off.”

“I work during them.”

“For like an hour.”

“Plus, all the time it takes me to get to the stadium. Plus, I’m always on a plane even when I’m not playing. Only occasionally do I get to sit on my ass at home, which I’ve never understood. I feel like I don’t need to go on nearly every road trip.”

“Comradery or something.”

“Eh.”

“We’re just teasing,” Elsa sighs, getting up from her spot in Liam’s lap to lean over the counter and press a kiss into Killian’s cheek. “Of course we’re happy to have you here. Me especially. I swear Liam goes into withdrawals when he doesn’t see you for a couple of days. I’m going to go check on the girls, but I’ll be back, okay?”

“Bye, Els,” he hums, waving her away as she squeezes Liam’s shoulder and walks out of the room to go upstairs to spend time with the girls in their playroom. They know that he’s here, but they apparently are too engrossed in their toys to want to come see him. It’s fine. It doesn’t bother him at all. Definitely not. “So, you really miss me that much, do you? I had no idea. The daily calls and texts weren’t enough.”

Liam rolls his eyes in that particular big brother fashion where it’s just patronizing enough for it to slightly rub Killian the wrong way. He loves his brother, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have their moments. Eight years apart and different life styles can lead to that.

“So, I heard from Dad yesterday.”

Killian drops his spoon into his bowl, the metal clanging against the glass, and his heart pounds in his chest as he tries to wrap his head around what Liam just said. He tries to speak, but it comes out as more of a cough, something that gets stuck in his throat and makes him feel like a lung is trying to escape him.

“W-what the…how did he get in contact with you?”

“Through my patient portal of all things.” When Killian raises his brow, Liam explains. “How people make appointments with me. There’s a place for notes at the bottom. He made an appointment and left one asking if we could meet.”

“Did you reply?”

“No. God no.” Liam runs his hands through his hair, his fingers getting stuck in a tangle in the curl, and that’s weirdly how Killian feels right now. “I had to refer him to another doctor since I don’t treat family, at least that’s what I told my nurse, but I’m not replying to that. He doesn’t deserve the time.”

“He’s a bastard.”

“He is. I’m not sure what he wants.”

“Money,” Killian scoffs, tapping his fingers against the countertop before reaching up to grab the chain around his neck while anger and resentment boil up in him over their father and how shitty he is. “It’s always been money for him so that he can buy more booze and gamble some more. I’m pretty sure the only reason he doesn’t try to make money off of the press about me is because he makes enough gambling on the games.”

“It’s a good thing he doesn’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him to start one day.”

“I don’t know – I’m not sure that I understand him. If he wanted money, all he has to do is sell stories about you to the press. It wouldn’t be hard for him.”

“He hasn’t talked to me since I was nineteen years old. He has no fucking stories.”

Liam nods his head, his lips pressed together in a tight smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t – I didn’t want to tell you, but I figured you deserved to know that he’s trying to get in contact with me. He could try you next.”

“Aye, I know.” He tightly closes his eyes, willing away the tears that want to come. He will not get frustrated over Brennan Jones. He will not. He hasn’t been in his life for nearly ten years, and he’s not going to rent space in it now. “I’ll let you know if he does, but you know he’s more likely to talk to you anyways. You were always much more agreeable than me.”

“You are a bit of a pain in the ass.”

“Whatever,” Killian laughs, picking up his spoon again to eat some more of his cereal. If Liam is joking, that means this conversation is over, and he’s more than glad for it. “Are Elsa’s parents still coming over for dinner?”

“It’s Sunday. That means the entire Karlsson family comes for dinner at one our places. You want to stay for tonight?”

“Nah, I think I’ll probably make something at home. Next week is the week at Anna’s though, right? I’ll come for that.”

“You sure?”

“Hell, yeah. Anna is by far the best cook out of all of you guys.”

“That’s a good point.”

There’s a pounding down the stairs, little feet making big moves, and before he knows it, there’s two blonde heads crashing into the kitchen, their socks making them skid across the tile floor.

“Daddy,” Addy squeaks, running up to Liam’s barstool and practically climbing on top of him as she gets in his face, while Lucy is just a few steps behind, “Mommy says that you will take us outside to draw on the sidewalk with our new chalks.”

“Did she now?” he chuckles, grabbing onto Addison so that she doesn’t fall. “And what is Mommy doing that she is not down here to tell me this?”

“She’s on the phone with Anna. I think she is angry with Uncle Kris,” Addy whisper-shouts.

“Hi, Killian,” Lucy whispers, tugging at the hem of his shirt. She’s much more reserved than her older sister, a quiet little thing even when she has her moments, and he can always count on her to want to sit and read a book with him.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he sighs, reaching down to pick her up and place her on his knee, giving her his last spoonful of the cereal. “Do you want to go draw outside? You guys have new chalks?”

“We have a new blue one and pink one and a thousand orange ones.”

“A thousand? That’s a lot of orange.”

“It’s not really a thousand orange ones, Lucy,” Addy groans, always the one to correct her little sister. “It’s more like seven, Uncle Killian.”

“Seven is pretty close to a thousand, I think.”

“You always were bad at math,” Liam chuckles.

“I was getting a degree in Physics. How does that make me bad at math?”

“What’s Physics?” Addy asks.

“Something you never want to have to deal with.” Liam clasps his hands together. “Alright, who is ready to go outside and draw with some chalk?”

There are actually eight orange chalk sticks, and he uses them to draw Lucy several tigers and a few orange sea lions. They apparently went to the zoo last week, which is something he didn’t know about, and animals are all the rage right now. Maybe not accurate animals, but animals all the same. Lucy is into tigers and penguins while Addy is far more interest in elephants and their “gigantic” ears, and he and Liam try to help draw out the zoo for them across the sidewalk in front of their townhouse. He’s sure someone will take issue with it, but their neighbors never complain when they do this, always complimenting the girls on their art and playing along.

It’s how they should be.

Addison gives him a lecture on everything she learned about lemurs while Lucy tells him that she thinks sea lions are slippery, and he can’t help but laugh at the two of them and the child-like innocence and joy that they bring into his life. They don’t have real worries, not really, and even when he feels like he’s spiraling out of control, they often bring him back to earth with their sweet gestures and funny bickering and inability to decide whether they can call him Uncle Killian or just Killian.

Plus, without a doubt, they are his biggest fans.

He likes that a lot.

And he likes getting to do things like draw with them. His mom used to do this with him, Liam too when they could get him to come outside and draw – he always claimed that he was too old for it, but he’s now currently got purple chalk on his nose – and this always reminds him of those times. Amelia Jones deserved every chance to get to know her grandchildren and draw on sidewalks with them, and he’ll forever hate that cancer took her away from all of this.

“Oh my goodness,” Elsa gasps as she comes out onto their front steps, now dressed in jeans and simple white sweater with her hair pulled back in a braid, “am I at the zoo? I don’t remember buying a ticket.”

“It’s free for you, darling,” Liam says, and Killian does not roll his eyes at that. Definitely not. “Would you like to come see the orange sea lion exhibit?”

“Of course.” She walks down the stairs and avoids every drawing, swiftly walking along the path that he left open for this exact purpose. “Oh, Lucy, your butterfly is very pretty. Does it have a name?”

“Anna.”

“Like my sister?”

“And grandma. When are they coming to our house?”

“Anna is coming right now, actually,” she hums, still stepping along while he continues to work on a rather magnificent lion if he does say so himself. “She and Kris had their lunch plans cancelled, so they’re coming to invade our zoo.”

“They have to buy a ticket,” Addy says, standing from the ground and wiping her hands on her pants, which only smears the chalk everywhere.

“Addy, I didn’t know you were a business woman.”

“I’m not a woman, Killian,” she scoffs, placing her hands on her hips. “I am a girl.”

“My bad,” he laughs as he holds his hands up in defeat. “I didn’t know you were a business girl.”

“I am. I want to make money to buy a bicycle.”

He knows for a fact that she’s getting a bicycle from him for her birthday at the end of June, but he is certainly not going to say anything to her now, the little spitfire charging her aunt and uncle money to view their sidewalk zoo. Next thing he knows she’s going to be charging him an entrance fee to go back into the house.

“I spy someone with blonde hair and blue eyes.”

Killian whips his head to the side to see Anna and Kris walking from down the street, obviously having taken the train to get here, and both Lucy and Addison get up from where they are and shoot down the sidewalk to run into Anna’s arms. Anna is far too small to pick both of them up, but she manages it, even if it takes a little help from Kris, and she’s got the both of them in a frenzy of laughter and giggles and maybe even a bit of kicking and screaming. As good as he is with the girls, there’s no one like Anna.

It helps that she’s a bit of a child herself, but that’s only meant in the best way.

“I see we’ve put the adults to work,” Anna laughs as she hauls the girls over to where they are. He stands up, Liam doing the same, and it’s a bit of a mess to have to avoid all of the chalk even with the path that he left out. “As they should be.”

Liam and Elsa hug Anna and Kris first, a flurry of exchange of words and hugs and laughter. It’s always so much when they’re around, especially with all of the talking that never seems to end, but it’s always worth it. His family was so small for so long, and while it’s not huge, it’s more than enough.

“I didn’t know I was going to see you,” Anna gasps at him before her arms come to hang around his neck. “I’m sorry we haven’t been able to come to a game yet.”

“If you guys came to every single game,” he whispers in her ear as he pats her back, “I’d be worried about you. There’s a lot of them.”

“We’re coming on Tuesday, though. Right, Kris?”

“Right.” Anna pulls back just for Kris to step into the hug. “There’s no way in hell that I’m missing the first Red Sox rivalry game, especially when you’re the starter.”

“You’re not supposed to use that word, Uncle Kris,” Addy point out.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean it.” He looks back to Killian then, whispering, “I totally meant it. I can’t wait. And it’s a night game. That’s just – that’s the best.”

“Sometimes I think Kris only loves me because of you, baby Jones,” Anna sighs.

“I hate that nickname.”

“It’s better than calling you BJ.”

“There are children around,” Liam sing-songs.

“What’s a BJ?” Lucy asks.

“Oh my God,” Elsa mumbles.

“See,” Anna laughs. “Baby Jones is much better.”

“I do not only love you because of Killian. I asked you out before I even knew he was your sister’s brother-in-law.”

“But you stayed because you knew that.”

“That is not true.”

“It is.”

“You are so ridiculous.”

“It’s kind of my number one personality trait.”

“Wait,” Addy gasps, making them all look away from the playful bickering to see her standing at the front door, “Anna and Kris didn’t pay to look at our zoo.”

-/-

“How many do you want to do today?” Will asks as they walk through the tunnels to make their way out onto the field.

“Twelve.”

“That’s oddly specific.”

“I’m an oddly specific guy.”

“That is very true. If I didn’t like you so much, I’d probably hate you.”

“Thanks?” Killian laughs, not entirely sure what to say back to that. Scarlet is such a character, but man is he glad to have him as a friend. Road trips wouldn’t be quite the same without his inability to listen to music at a normal volume and shut up when everyone else on the plane is trying to sleep. It’s the same with gamedays. Will curses more under his breath than anyone, and he swears any umpire they have is always five seconds away from fining him for something, pretty much ready to fine him for existing. “Are you ready to get booed when we walk out here.”

“It is not my fault that the Sox didn’t want me,” Will groans, adjusting his helmet in his hands and hitting his knuckles against it. “I obviously wanted to play for my home team, and now every time we play them, it’s like I’m Edward Snowden.”

“Look at you and your references.”

“I know things.”

“Of course you do.”

“And I like living here, playing here, by the way. And I kind of get this kind of sick satisfaction out of beating them, you know?”

“Absolutely. It’s the best feeling.”

“Exactly. I expect a no-hitter from you tonight.”

Killian barks out a laugh, tilting his head back as they come closer to the door to lead them to the bullpen. “Maybe if Al takes me out after one inning, I’ll get that.”

“I was thinking more like you playing your full five. Rodriguez is your relief pitcher tonight, and he gets all nervous.”

“It’ll be fine, Scarlet. Have some fun. That’s why we’re here isn’t it?”

Killian pushes open the doors that lead to the bullpen, Will following right behind him, and when they walk up the stairs and onto the field to make their way fully into the bullpen, there are already a few hundred fans crowding in the bottom of the stadium, most of them not in their seats. Sure enough, the cheers that sound out after he walks out are soon replaced by boos for Will (the fans only hate him on days like this, but Will acts like it’s all the damn time), and he takes a few minutes to sign a few autographs for the kids that have hats and balls. He knows that a lot of times their parents are going to sell them off, but he holds out hope that some of the kids really just want his autograph for themselves.

The fact that there are children wanting his autograph in the way that he wanted players’ autographs growing up absolutely blows his mind.

Really.

So that’s why he usually goes for the children, making sure to get all of them before focusing on a few adults. But he can’t stay doing that forever. He’s got to warm up now that he’s had his shoulder massaged and iced, and he doesn’t want to be too tight at the start of the game.

Once he’s finished signing autographs, he and Will toss the ball back and forth just to warm him up a little bit more before he starts to actually practice his pitches. Journey music is blaring through the stadium’s speakers, and he can hear the place getting louder and louder minute by minute as more people fill in and the sky continues to darken with an orange glow as the sun starts to set. This is the kind of night any player lives for. Sure, there are bigger nights. There are game seven of the Series kind of nights and nights where your niece has told you that her teacher is watching so you have to win. Those are big, maybe one more than the other, but rivalry nights, rivalry series, those are the things to live for.

And being on their home field for it makes it all the better.

As he throws his practice pitchers, stretching is arm out when he needs it, the crowd begins to fill in, the noise level getting louder as the sun sets further and their start time gets closer, stadium lights coming to life an adding an entire other type of buzz to his ears. It’s a bit humid tonight, but still a comfortable April evening, and he can feel sweat forming at the back of his neck as he throws his last-warm up pitch with Will before they grab their things and head back inside, jogging down the hallways to get to the dugout so that he can get to the mound, everyone else in their place.

The anticipation builds within him, his heart hammering in his chest and making is throat a little dry as he nods at Al and Leroy, a slight smile on his face to reassure them that everything is going to be fine.

As always, he steps up to the mound and looks at the stadium full of people around him.

Ready.

-/-

Two hours later, it’s six runs to none for the Yankees when he steps off the mound and into the dugout, Al telling him that he’s done for the night. It’s what he expected, especially when they’re winning the way they are, and he grabs a cup of water from the cooler, and walks through the door to go into the hallways to take him back to the locker room.

Except right when he steps inside, a blast of cool air hitting him, he sees Emma Swan and Jeff…something. He honestly can’t remember the man’s name at the moment, but he’s pretty sure it was Jeff, last name unclear. They’re very obviously waiting for him, and he stops walking to gulp down the water, letting it cool him down a bit as he takes Emma in.

She’s wearing black jeans that hug the curves of her legs and a white button down that’s tucked into the front, white sneakers gracing her feet. Her hair is down in loose waves, and his mind wonders if it’s as soft as he imagines it is.

Is it wrong for him to imagine that?

Does he have any reason to think that he should?

It’s been a week since he saw her last. Scratch that. It’s been a week since he talked to her last. He saw her on the jumbotron during the White Sox game on Friday. She was eating a hot dog, and he wonders if it’s now a thing to show her eating during games. Someone in the broadcasting office either has it out for her, or one of her coworkers has bribed someone. He can’t think of any other reason why that would keep happening.

(Even if he does have to admit that it can be funny at times since she’s not the most graceful eater.)

But he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her in the week since he ran into her at the hotel in Houston and pretty much invited himself into eating breakfast with her. It was a bold move on his part, one that he can’t quite believe that he did, but then again, he can. When it comes to Emma Swan, he seems to both not think and overthink things all at once. He wonders if he’s allowed to admire the way her ass looks in her jeans while also sitting down at breakfast with her without any invitation and talking for two hours, only a few silences between them. It was…wonderful, actually, to truly get to know her and talk to her and know more about who she is.

He had no idea that she was a foster kid, that she doesn’t know her parents outside of David’s mom. His heart stung for her, stings for her, and how much hurt he’s sure she went through. He can’t pretend to know what that’s like. He has his own issues with losing his mom and cutting his dad out of his life, but he at least knew them.

Besides that, he had no idea that she was as witty and charming as she is, and he has no idea how he ever lived not knowing that she likes sugar too much and calls him twenty-nine. That is entirely too dramatic, but that’s how he is.

It’s been a long damn time since he’s fancied a girl for more than just her looks, and while that is what he was attracted to her at first, he actually wants to get to know her now.

If that’s what she wants. He’s not pulling any more shit like he did after the Series. He can’t do something like that again when it was such an asshole move.

“Twenty-nine,” Emma smirks, looking his way with a bright white smile on her face. That’s a smile he’d kind of like to get used to even if he knows that he can’t.

“Swan,” he nods, wiping some more sweat off of his brow and adjusting his hat, knowing better than to take it off to show the awful sweaty hair that he has going on right now. “Jeff. Am I doing an interview? Is it live?”

“It’s not live,” Emma tells him, stepping over to his side as Jeff moves around. He’s been through this routine enough times before, so he knows to back up to the wall with their roster written across it and stand on the side as Emma stands next to him. He can smell the vanilla of her perfume. “But it is an interview. You ready?”

“Always,” he winks.

She rolls her eyes before waving at Jeff for him to start the camera. “You didn’t give up any runs in five innings against the Sox. The last time you did something like that you were twenty-two years old.”

“Are you saying I’m old now?”

“Obviously. Anyways, that’s an important stat if only because this is the first of many series against your biggest rivals. Does that give you confidence for the rest of the season?”

“Eh,” he clicks his tongue, scratching behind his ear, “not really. It’s an incredibly long season with a hell of a lot of games, and this one’s not quite over yet. And what happens today can be the complete opposite of what happens tomorrow and for every game that we play after that. If anything, it gave me confidence in my arm. I think that’s the most important thing.”

Emma nods and smiles at him, listening to each of his words, and she asks him two more questions about some of his stats for tonight as well as for Eric and Arthur, and he has to run back through the game to answer them, trying to remember everything that happened. In the moment, it’s easy for him to remember everything, cataloging it all and working through it, but once all of the adrenaline has died down a bit, it’s sometimes difficult for him to recall everything.

It's a good thing Emma has a stat sheet, one she seems to have written herself.

“Thank you,” Emma sighs when they’re finished, the bright light on Jeff’s camera going off as he backs up. “Sorry for stalking you in the hallways.”

“I don’t think doing your job counts as stalking.”

“It does if I get really creative with it.”

“Well, okay then, love,” he laughs, grabbing his shirt and pulling it up to wipe some more sweat from his chin. “I hope you enjoy the rest of the game. Maybe don’t eat any more food while you’re working.”

He hears Jeff snort before the man walks away, not bothering to say goodbye to either of them. Killian is about ninety percent sure that he and Emma are friends, or at least co-workers who are fond of each other, but he has no idea when they talk. None at all. The man has to talk at some point.

“Does he speak?” Killian asks before Emma gets the opportunity to say something back to his jab about her continuously being caught on camera while eating.

“Who? Jeff? I mean, he’s not a mute,” she laughs, flipping her hair over her shoulder and sticking her microphone into the back pocket of her pants. He imagines that can’t be comfortable. “He’s just…well, he talks when he needs to and very rarely otherwise unless he’s super comfortable around you. I’ve spent years breaking him out of his shell.”

“You have?”

“Don’t be so surprised, twenty-nine. I have friends.”

“What makes you think I’m surprised?”

Emma waves her hand in the hair, circling around his face. “Your eyebrow is, like, in your hairline, and you’ve got that smirk thing that you do when you’re being all cocky and smug.”

His lips tick up a little more, and now he knows that he’s smirking. He wasn’t before, but he is now as he sways a little closer into Emma’s space, barely a foot between them. When did they get so close?

“Swan, I think you’ve been watching me, studying me really.”

Her own brows raise as her arms cross over her chest. She could kick his ass without question, and he has got to be incredibly disturbed to be fascinated by that fact. He is not supposed to be attracted to Emma Swan, not after what he did, and yet here he is.

“Yeah,” she huffs, “that’s my job. I feel like we’ve discussed this.”

“Sometimes I need a little reminding of things.”

“I thought you were smarter than that.”

“I like to surprise people. Don’t change the subject, darling,” he teases, angling his shoulder forward and invading her space as his heart ticks up a few beats. “You’ve been paying particularly close attention to me.”

“You make a good story.”

“So you’re saying I make your job easier?”

Emma scoffs, but he can see the slightest smile on her face, the annoyance simply not there. Maybe he doesn’t annoy her anymore after they had breakfast. And maybe he is being just cocky enough to make this flirting work.

That is what he’s doing, right? Flirting.

“You could say that.”

He’s an idiot, a complete idiot, who pushes his luck too far, and he’s going to blame everything on the adrenaline from here on out. There’s no other excuse for how he’s acting.

“Perhaps gratitude is in order,” he teases as he taps his bottom lip, fully expecting Emma to slap him.

Instead he watches as her lashes flutter, her eyes glancing over his lips, before she looks up to him with a challenge written across her face. “Please. You couldn’t handle it.”

She’s right. He couldn’t.

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

Her lips part for her to speak, but no words come as she’s leaning forward and gripping her hands into his uniform, pulling on his jersey and pulling him into her until their lips are crashing together. Despite his teasing, he was in no way expecting this, and it takes him a moment to kiss Emma back, to move his lips over hers. His hands immediately find her hair, fingers threading through the soft strands, and he exhales into her mouth as he tugs on her upper lip with his mouth, listening to her moan.

Damn.

Emma Swan just moaned because of him.

She tastes like peppermint, strongly enough so that he imagines she just finished one, but he can’t really focus on that when the softest lips he’s ever felt are moving over his and the soft curves of her body are pressed into him. It’s intoxicating and exhilarating and everything all at once, and he can feel his heart pounding between his ears, the organ very obviously switching with his brain at some point because he’s forgotten how to think.

His legs shake when Emma’s tongue runs at the seam of his lips, and when he opens up to her, tilting her head to the right, her hands trail up his neck and into his hair until his hat is toppling off of his head and crashing onto the floor.

Whatever spell is between them is broken with the sound of his hat collapsing against the cement, and Emma pulls back from him with a gasp, her forehead still pressed against his so that he can feel the heat of her breath moving over his mouth.

What the hell just happened?

And can it happen again?

“That,” he starts, at a loss for words.

“Can’t happen again,” Emma finishes for him, releasing her grip on his hair and backing up so that he immediately feels chilled from the loss of heat. “I’m sorry. I – I’ve got to go.”

“Emma,” he calls out, reaching forward to grab her hand, but she’s already walking away, her strides larger than her natural gait as she moves down the hallway and disappears around the corner all the while he’s left standing there with his fingers unconsciously pressed to his lips.

[lichfucker]

you reblogged that yesterday but 48 & 49

48. Talk about how your day went

oh boy okay my day today was A Lot and I’ll include some of yesterday both bc this was yesterday’s meme and bc it’s relevant 

I only work 3 days a week and when I’m working I crash at my cousins’ apartment so I don’t have to commute in from jersey every day. there are only 2 other people in the office with me and our boss works out of another office way uptown so we rarely actually speak to her face-to-face

when I went in this week I fully prepared to be in the office tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, and my cousins’ sons had just come back from camp and wanted to see me so we made dinner reservations for last night, y’know, with the full intention that I’d stay over afterwards and then come home after work today

then yesterday afternoon like an hour before work ended my coworkers realized they were set to have a meeting w our boss uptown and, between travel time and our boss’ unceasing ability to talk, it would probably take like 5 hours (the meeting was at 11, I get there at 10, and we leave at 5) so they’d be out all day and there was no point in me even coming in to the office so I might as well just work from home. that’s cool with me, I’ll just catch a late bus after dinner I guess

but since both of them were gonna be tied up all day, I, the lowly intern, would have to run the entire website for the day. I’d have to publish the drafted articles (they didn’t teach me how), cross-post them to facebook and twitter, probably write up a curated piece or two, and do all the editing and database work I’d be doing anyway

so I woke up today prepared for Death

I woke up at 9:30-ish and a little after 10 I texted one of my coworkers and asked just a quick clarifying q abt how the day was gonna go and you know what she told me???????? the meeting was fucking canceled

that’s fine, less work for me to do, but now I’m alone in this house bc my dad is on a plane to texas and it’s just gonna be me sitting alone in the basement staring at an excel spreadsheet for 7 hours trying not to put my head through the window

the work I was doing, on any other day, would’ve taken me maybe 4 hours, tops. by the time 5 pm rolled around I’d barely even scratched the fucking surface. why?

my computer decided to be the slowest piece of shit I’ve ever seen it be. it has never worked that poorly ever. it would take 3 minutes to load a single page, 2 more for it to register that I’d scrolled or clicked something, excel crashed nearly every time I tried to input any information, at one point I opened up the task manager to see what the fuck was going on and EVEN THE TASK MANAGER STOPPED RESPONDING !! WHERE IS MY GOD NOW

on top of all of this my tattoo has been fucking burning I wanna scratch it so bad the itching is ruining my fucking life oh my god JUST HEAL ALREADY

at like 10 after 5 I put my work away I couldn’t fucking do it anymore I had to walk away before one of us broke

oh also boss called me at one point because she couldn’t remember when or how much she last paid me :^)

I listened to both episodes of til death do us blart twice while I was working and it did not help

mmm then I listened to the taz finale and now I’m here and it’s almost 9 pm I’m still in my pajamas and today I have eaten half of a slice of pizza and a bag of m&ms my body is sewage

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

I wanna be a tv writer. I am going to be a tv writer. one day I’ll run the room on my own series and it’ll be good, yo, it’ll be really fucking good. it took me so fucking long to get to a place where I can say with full conviction that I am good at the thing I love, I am good at the thing I want to do with my life. I know that I am.

god I just wanna stay in new york like if you’re gonna work in tv in the us you’re either gonna be in la or new york and it’s like 70% la 30% ny and if a show based in la wants me then fuck me I’m gonna fuckin take it, but I want so fucking badly to stay in new york. I don’t have a west coast temperament, I hate the heat, I can’t drive, and I don’t want to fucking be 3 time zones away from everyone I care about. I don’t want to be 3 time zones away from a decent fucking bagel.

and y’know somewhere along the way I’ll meet a girl I guess and she’ll actually like me and we’ll make a life together, just the two of us and our hairless cats, quasar and ozymandias. but that part is negotiable. the rest of it??? I think I’d die without

[dashfire2-blog]

My London Semester Journal I: Tuesday, January 16, 1996

Tuesday, 1-16-96 8:06 PM London 2:06 PM E-Town

Didn’t get to writing in here yesterday… In the morning I had a very interesting International Business class. After class I went to the Birkbeck library & browsed & wandered… I realized through discussion w/ Nathan & Andrew (the somewhat clueless, somewhat cool Welsh guys Lori & I met Fri. at the club) this weekend that, outside of school, I read very little. The Oscar Wilde play “An Ideal Husband” inspired me to read one of his works, bu then I passed some Elizabeth Barrett Browning books of poetry & was drawn in… I ended up taking out 2 compilations of her letters & 1 of her books of poetry. I really enjoy reading the letters.

Then, in the afternoon, I caught up on some of my correspondence & then went grocery shopping at “Sainsbury’s.” Things have been kinda awkward between Lori & I since Sunday’s long day w/ Nathan & Andrew… We are relating better, but our friendship lost something. I personally don’t desire to spend as much time socially w/ her. But this may pass. I guess I really didn’t know her as I thought I did… I realize this now & take it as a lesson. I tend to attach myself to people — new friends quickly in situations such as this. I know this is common.

Last night for study break I went w/ Adam, Paul, & Erica to the “Churchill Arms” pub for a beer. I enjoy their company. Adam is a pretty funny guy & really likes attention. Paul is less outgoing, but is a real genuine guy, and is funny in his own way. Erica often seems older to me than 20. She is fun to hang out w/ & talk to.

Today I had my Modern British Society class which wasn’t extremely exciting… But I was able to finally log on to a computer and do e-mail! Telnet isn’t working, but knowing when I check tomorrow morning I could have mail is exciting! I wrote Mom & Dad, Meg, Gwen, Deborah, & Cheryl. But I misaddressed Deb’s, so I’ll have to write again tomorrow.

After class Jill & I went to daily mass at Newman House. It was nice & I really enjoyed Fr. Tim’s sermon on the readings. The 1st reading talked about how God looks at us differently than others do. “People look at our appearances. God looks at our hearts.”

He (Fr. Tim) encouraged us to do 2 things: 1) Recognize that God sees us for who we are & loves us unconditionally. 2) To try to see other people as God does, not to judge them till you know them…

There is a guy from U of I at Birkbeck named Dave Heron who I talked with today. He attends 4:30 PM mass at St. John’s often & we talked about churches here. I was pleasantly surprised to learn of his faith. 

A guy named Matthew, that I sat next to on the plane from Chicago, asked me to go on a day trip to Oxford w/ him this weekend. I would like to go, but I am not sure if I would like to go this weekend or with him. He is a nice guy, but I just ate dinner w/ Adam & Paul who say he can talk your ear off & might take away from the experience.

Molly, the GR, just stopped by to see how everything was going. We got to talking & I asked how she & Will, the other GR here at Pembridge, met. She said in 7th grade, but they didn’t date till after their Sr. yr. in college. Reminds me a bit of the Ray & Margie story… Not that I won’t find “that special someone” in due time… But, stories like that give me even more hope! I suppose I am no hurry though… & on that note the words to a great Blues Traveler song called “Just Wait.” ☺︎

JUST WAIT by Blues Traveler

If ever you are feeling like you’re tired And all your uphill struggles leave you headed down hill If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you And your appetite for pain has drinken it’s fill.

I ask of you a very simple question Did you think for one minute that you are alone And your suffering a privilege you share only Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home

Just wait Just wait Just wait And it will come

If you think I’ve given up on you you’re crazy And if you think I don’t love you well then you’re just wrong In time you just might take to feeling better Time is the beauty of the road being long

I know that now you feel no consolation But maybe if I told you and informed you out loud I say this without fear of hesitation I can honestly tell you that you make me proud.

Just wait Just wait Just wait And it will come

Just wait Just wait Just wait And it will come

If anything I might have just said has helped you If anything I might have just said helped you just carry on Your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle And your appetite for pain might all but be gone.

I hope for you and cannot stop that hoping Until that smile has once again returned to your face There’s no such things as a failure who keeps trying Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace

Just wait Just wait Just wait And it will come

Just wait Just wait Just wait And it will come

Just wait Just wait Just wait And it will come

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note from Present Day Kathy: It’s interesting what vivid memories our brains hold onto, for whatever reasons. I can still picture walking through the stacks of books in the library that day and zeroing in on Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s letters and poetry. I read now, as an adult, more than I have ever in my life, mostly via listening to books on Audible, while I get things done around the house (such as laundry). I recall back then feeling pressure to read things for school, which was always more of a struggle for me vs. getting to read for pleasure. It’s that difference between the things we have to do vs. what we choose to do that continues to challenge me, even at 43, and I know so many others.

I also appreciate my commentary on how our relationships, especially friendships, grow and evolve, even through difficult times. Spoiler alert: my roommate and I ended up working through the tension we felt then and continued to become closer throughout our time abroad together.

I mentioned the Churchill Arms pub again in this entry and after my last post I looked it up online, to see if it still exists. I was excited to find that out it does! I definitely want to get there if and when I return to London someday, our family is still aiming for late Summer 2020.

I find it funny to read my descriptions of my experiences with email, especially knowing in it was in its early days/years of use. I had to Google what “telnet” meant, as I didn’t recall. Apparently it’s “a network protocol that allows a user on one computer to log onto another computer that is part of the same network,” which certainly makes sense/sounds familiar.

I continue to get a kick out of how I was navigating looking for “that special someone,” which was definitely a theme for me throughout my college years. I didn’t go to U of I to get my Mrs. by any means, but I was hoping to find love and someone to spend my life/build a family with eventually.

I am pretty sure I transcribed the lyrics to Just Wait by Blues Traveler by listening to the song from a mix tape on my Walkman, as there were a lot of scratches out and re-writes, a few mistakes (I had “your eyes no longer seem a struggle” instead of “your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle” and “I hope for you and cannot stop that heartbreak” instead of “I hope for you and cannot stop that hoping”), and even some blank spaces where I must not have been able to tell what they were singing. Things have really changed, when it comes to stuff like that. Now we can just Google song lyrics anytime we are curious!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reminder: Unless I’ve been given permission to use people’s actual names, in most cases I’ve removed or replaced the names of the real people who were part of my journey/experience there, in effort to protect and respect their identities/privacy in my London Semester Journal entries. I will also not share details that I think and feel are too personal for anyone I interacted with, my loved ones, and me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here’s the back story of My London Semester Journals from 1996, including what prompted me to revisit and decide to share them here in 2018. And here’s a list a list of the entries, which I will update as I share them.

  Source: http://bereavedandblessed.com/2018/10/my-london-semester-journal-i-tuesday-january-16-1996/