#i realize the why is they see someone female presenting and fat and go shell be desperate! and flattered!

[happywitch416]

Maintenance dude working next door to mom: once you're done, i can show you a good time, sweetheart

Me: sorry, champ, but my dick is bigger

His buddy fell off the front step laughing and I am going to laugh for the next week about the look on his face. 😂

[ericjuneau]

Reprise (Chapter 21) [Frozen/Tangled/The Little Mermaid]

CHAPTER 21: Good to Sea

"Okay, I think I got it this time," Rapunzel said. "Andrina: blond, purple tail. Alana: also purple, black hair, loves gardening. Aquata: blue tail, brown hair. She's the oldest."

"I thought Attina was the oldest," Elsa said.

"Well, that's... the way mermaids give birth, it's kinda... complicated. That's part of the reason they're all sharing the queenship," Ariel said.

Rapunzel grunted. "Ooh, you made me lose my place."

"Sorry. If it's any consolation, I can only remember three: Attina, Adella, and Arista," Elsa said.

Ariel giggled. "If you can split them between the two of you, there won't be a problem."

Rapunzel laughed. "Give me a break, can't you? I'm exhausted. I've never swam this much in my life."

"That's because you're still swimming like a human," Ariel laughed. "Keep your arms down."

"We are going to be so fit when we're back to normal," Elsa muttered to Rapunzel.

A school of silver fish swam by. Each bowed its head, as much as a fish could bow, and said "Good day, Princess Ariel."

Ariel smiled. They still remembered her, even after all this time.

"Good morning," Ariel said.

A couple of thick-lipped groupers passed by. One was distinctly male and another female by its pink coloring.

"Good morning, Ariel. Where are you off to?" the male asked in a snobbish voice.

"The palace. I... I've got some new friends to introduce."

"Oh good. While you're at it, see if you can't get your sisters to get along. Those biddies are burbling better than a bloated blowfish."

Ariel kept swimming, now more nervous. The palace was the best place to hide from Arcius. It was protected, they had allies. Daddy always said no matter what, she could always go home.

But Daddy wasn't there anymore.

She forgot about it as Elsa started crimping her tail instead of undulating and she began meandering upward. Every once in a while, Elsa or Rapunzel would get off track and she had to pull them back. Still, they managed to get to the palace gates. The castle's foremost guard, a seahorse, met her at the entrance.

"Princess Ariel? You're back! I thought you joined the human world."

"I had," Ariel said. "But, well... things have changed for now. In the meantime, I can still go to the palace, right?"

"Right. I'll tell your sisters at once."

The seahorse beckoned to the royal page--a white sailfish who would deliver the message before they were halfway there.  

"Ariel," Rapunzel said. "What about our ship? It's still docked on the island, isn't it?"

"I hope Arcius isn't petty enough to destroy it. But we can't simply return," Elsa said.

"I know," Ariel said. "I can ask some whales to tow it out of there, and then... where should we put it?"

"Can't drag it down here with us," Rapunzel said. "Kind of defeats the purpose of a boat."

"How about your castle's port?" Elsa asked.

"What would Eric do if a ship sailed into his port with no one on it?" Rapunzel queried.

Ariel snapped her fingers. "I know the perfect spot. There's a cute little grove on the north side of the promontory. And the cliff has a little crook inside where the boat can go."

Ariel communicated her desires to the seahorse, who nodded and said he would carry out their orders straight away. At that time, two walruses arrived to escort them through palace. Elsa couldn't help but grinning at their sashes and little hats.

A set of trumpet fish stood on each side of the large golden archway to the interior.

"Announcing, the return of her royal majesty, Princess Ariel."

Elsa and Rapunzel marveled at the architecture of it all. All around, merpeople swam in and out through the portals dotting the golden towers. There were no such things as doors. When one didn't have to worry about rain or wind or cold, shelter didn't mean as much. Maybe that was the reason everyone seemed so happy.

At least until they entered the royal chamber. Six figures lounged around at a kidney-shaped table. Some looked bored, some furiously scribbled on seaweed-colored scrolls. Each had a dour, petty expression.

"Ariel?" Adella asked.

"Ariel!" Arista said.

Four of them swam up from their seats to embrace her. The two at the ends, Attina and Aquata, were the last to rise. Ariel became the center of a hug sandwich.

"I missed you."  

"We missed you," said one with a bright yellow tail. "Who are your new friends?"

"I will tell you all about it, I promise. This is Rapunzel and this is Elsa." Ariel gestured to each in turn.

"Are they okay?" Alana asked. "They're kinda... falling."

Elsa and Rapunzel were slipping to the floor. The two realized and fluttered their arms to stay up.

"We're okay, just tired," Rapunzel said.

Ariel never realized how exhausted they would be as new mermaids if they were too tired to stay afloat. "It was a really long swim. Can we give them some guest rooms to rest in? And food?"

Andrina nodded to a nearby servant, who took their hands in each of his fins.

"I'll catch up with you later." Ariel waved to them as they drifted down the hall.

"What are you doing back? Why did you have to take the trident?" asked Alana.

"I expect you'll return it when you're done," Attina said. She and Aquata stepped out from opposite sides of the table. They looked the most queen-like of all--respectable, serious, and weathered.

"I just need to borrow it for a little while longer. We found out there's some terrible-"

Aquata put her hand on her hip. "Who were those two?"

"They swim so awkwardly," said Attina. "Are they from Atlantica?"

"Well, not really..." Ariel said. "They're from... very far away."

"Ariel..." Aquata crossed her arms and tapped her fins. "If you always lied this badly, it's no wonder Daddy was always yelling at you."

Ariel sighed. "All right, they're human."

"Human?" Some gasped. "You brought humans down here?"

"That's what you wanted the trident for?" Adella asked.

"No! Not at all," Ariel said. "I didn't even know them when this started."

"So not only are they human, they're strangers," Attina said.

"If you would just listen-"

"What would Daddy say?" asked Aquata. "All he wanted was to keep our world safe and secret. If humans knew about us, our whole kingdom would be at stake. Our lives would end."

"Didn't you learn anything, Aquata?" Ariel said. "Humans are not bad. I mean, not all of them. They're just like us."

"But no one the surface knows that there are mermaids still, right?" Attina asked.

"Yes. That's still true," Ariel said. "And my friends have promised to keep the secret."

"Secret or not, the more people that know, the more chances it has to slip out," Attina said.

"Why are you acting this way?" Ariel asked. "Don't you trust me?"

"I guess I just don't know who you are anymore."

"I became a human. I married a human," Ariel said. "The whole reason I'm going through this is to get back to him."

"But you were born a mermaid," Aquata added. "You can't change that, no matter how you feel."

Ariel flexed her fingers around her trident.

"I'm afraid we have to get back to business. The Mermaid's Ball is just a day away, and there's still a lot to do." Attina gestured back to the conference room.

"The Mermaid's Ball?" Ariel's eyes brightened.

"Uh-huh," Andrina said in her squeaky voice. "It's going to be the best one yet. Are you going to come?"

"I-"

"It would be great if we were all there. All seven of us together again," Adella said.

"Don't worry about what they said." Arista waved her hand back. "You're still part of our family. And your friends are invited too."

"Okay," Ariel said. "I'll be there."

"You?" Aquata said. "You missed your own debutante concert because you were off exploring. Don't count on seeing her, girls. She was willing to never see us again so she could become human. Don't fall for the same thing twice."

Andrina turned back. "But-"

"Are you coming?" Attina yelled, already halfway back.

Adella, Alana, Arista, and Andrina followed Aquata and Attina back into the hall. Arista looked behind her as the doors shut and made a pitiful wave.

Ariel remained motionless, still gripping the trident. Her lower lip quivered. She swam off into the long hallway, to the fading blue haze at the end.

Someone knocked on Elsa's door. She pushed herself off the spongy bed and floated above it, next to the window... door... portal? The castle was built like Swiss cheese. It was so weird to think she could just swim out her window to leave. Maybe this was what a goldfish felt like, swimming through a giant stone castle full of holes.  

Even if the gravity was different, day and night were mostly the same. A dark iron blue haze blanketed above. Down below, ambient light from glowing plants and bioluminescent fish kept the kingdom from pitch blackness.

Another rapping reminded Elsa about the knock. With a few twists, she righted herself and pulled down the giant calico scallop door.

Rapunzel stood there. "Hi. Can you sleep?"

Elsa shook her head. "I don't want to sleep. This world is too amazing."

"I know," Rapunzel squealed. "I'm having too much fun." She swam in a hoop, bubbles trailing her. "This is like a dream. I think it still might be."

"Maybe we died in the fall."

Rapunzel stopped swimming. "Elsa! Don't be so gloomy."

"You're right. If we were dead, the food would taste better."

"Yeah," Rapunzel said, holding her stomach. "I've never had kelp pasta before, but it was kind of bland and salty."

"I prefer the regular cucumber sandwiches. Not sea cucumber. It was presented well, though."

"And it must be full of energy. They don't eat any fish. No shrimp, no cod, no carp. But I haven't seen anyone with an ounce of fat. Swimming all day does wonders for the body." Rapunzel leaned in. "You want to go exploring?"

Elsa peeked out her door. Dead quiet from hall to hall. There might be unknown dangers lurking, but when would she ever explore a mermaid kingdom again?

"Let's do it," Elsa said.

The two of them swam out into the silent castle. Crab shells and starfish spotted every wall. Conch and spiral shells jutted out of gate points. Everything seemed to glow with an ambient effervescent twilight. And she had no idea where it was coming from.  

The grand hall was bigger than Arendelle's opera house or Corona's theater. And explorable from top to bottom. Elsa smiled as she dragged her fingers across the rippled ceiling. The long table was irregularly built rock, like most things here. Against the wide wall was a balcony, with giant clam shells for lounging sofas.

"Look at these," Rapunzel said. She let herself fall into one. "They're huge. And so smooth."

Elsa looked out onto a seaweed forest as tall as trees. "Everything's so colorful. It makes my castle look like so drab."

They even had a gallery--art framed with strips of golden hydrozoa. Rapunzel marveled at the shades of blue within landscapes of sea volcanoes, sunken ships, and coral reefs. How they painted down here, they'd never know.

Rapunzel could have stayed there forever, but Elsa led her onward. They found some private rooms, possibly servants' quarters. If they were, every maidservant and steward had nothing to complain about. Every bed was as fine and plush as theirs.

They stopped at a door with a golden starfish on it. It was the first door they had seen in the palace, not a carved aperture.

"I wonder what's behind here," Rapunzel said. The thought didn't cross their minds that it was somewhere they weren't supposed to go. After seeing the grand hall, the trophy room, the balcony, it had to be something majestic. Rapunzel opened it.

"Oh," she said. "It's a closet."

A dustpan made from a scallop shell. A broom with thick tangly seaweed for bristles. Bottles made from nautilus shells.

"See? Even the closet is staggering," Elsa said.

They meandered to the lower levels where more industrial activities took place--metalwork, manufacturing, carpentry. Tools and unfinished pieces of stone lay in unorganized piles. The material was all too spiraled or gnarled or striped or tubular to recognize.

Then they came upon the treasury. A mountain of gold lay in a cave-like room. No guards, no doors. Just a carved out hole, like a burrowing animal had left it behind.

Elsa and Rapunzel dared not go inside, but they poked their heads in. Their lips puckered at the sight of it all--humongous pearls, candy red rubies, sea foam emeralds, arctic sapphires, and a beach's worth of silver and gold.

"That is... It's... there are no words..." Rapunzel said, swallowing.

Elsa nodded in silence. If anything was a dream, this was it.

"Have you noticed something?" Elsa asked. "There is no armory. No war room. No dungeon."

"Maybe we haven't found it," Rapunzel said.

"Maybe they don't need it. All I've seen are patrolling guards. And those are probably protecting from giant squids and killer whales."

Rapunzel bit her lip. Was Atlantica that perfect? Did they really have no war? No opposing nations bearing down on them, pressuring them into competition?

"I guess it would be hard to defend your castle when you can move all around it. You could just swim over the top and drop down."

Under the water, a siege army would have no meaning. Walls had no meaning. In such a culture, did that make war obsolete?

The two of them flutter-kicked up a ramp to the main floor. Elsa mused that in the human world it would be a staircase, but fish had no need for stairs. A little more sober, they wandered through decorated corridors.

Elsa stopped. "Do you hear that?"

"Music," Rapunzel said.

They followed the sound, until they found a magnificent dance hall. Mermaids, mermen, and fish of all kinds were decorating with streamers, ribbons, cut-out stars, and other party implements ornaments. The jazzy, soulful melody came from a corner, where a small red crab was conducting a five-piece band.

He held his hands to his ears. "No, no, no. Dat's all wrong, all wrong. Ace, have you been practicing your scales like I tell you?"

He pointed at a manta ray wearing sunglasses and holding a fishbone guitar.

"Just like always, Sebastian." He demonstrated a pentatonic lick. "I just don't feel comfortable with the instrument. I should be playing bass."

"Ink Spot," Sebastian said. "Only an octopus drumma cud be rushing and dragging at de same time."

The cepahalopod in the back shrugged all eight of his shoulders. "Why does it always gotta be the octopus playing drums? I can play other instruments too. Like sea cello, harmonica, trumpet..."

"We got a trumpet. But he keep running out of steam. Puffy!" Sebastian looked at a blowfish holding a trumpet.

"I'm calling myself P. Guppy now."

"Dese kids today," he muttered to himself. "Your bass is not soundin' as sharp, mon."

"It was a fluke. You can't blame me. I was up all night practicing." To demonstrate, he blew on his horn, ballooning into a sticker-laden sphere. The bright brass sound deflated into a squeaky trickle.

"And Diva Sea Lily, you're off key."

A beluga whale with black trim on her fins swung her hips. "I'm under a lot of pressure here. I don't sing as well without my autotuna."

Sebastian wiped his forehead. "Why don' we take a break for an hour?"

The band put down their instruments, making discordant sounds, and wandered away. Sebastian glumly sat on the edge of the platform. "Dis is going to be de worst Mermaid's Ball yet."

"Mermaid's Ball?" Rapunzel exclaimed.

Sebastian looked up. "Oh, I'm sorry. Were we making too much noise? Or not enough? It's not perfect yet, but we'll be ready in time or my name's not Horatio Thelonius Ignatius Crustaceus Sebastian. Tell de princesses we not gonna rest until every note sings out-"

"Whoa, whoa," Elsa said. "We're not mad. We were just looking for where the sound was coming from."

"We've never heard anything like it," Rapunzel said.

Sebastian wiped his brow. "Oh. I tought de princesses sent you for to spy on me."

"No, we're just... we've never heard of the Mermaid's Ball. But your music sounded wonderful," Rapunzel asked.

"Well, it's like I always say. De key to any event is that you got to create... de mood. Mermaids thrive on music. It brings everyone closer together. Everyting got life and harmony from music."

Elsa and Rapunzel recalled the times they caught Ariel humming to herself. "We've noticed."

"De Mermaid's Ball is one of de biggest parties Atlantica has all year. Next to de Party Gras, de Soundsational Extravaganza, Memorial to de Royals Day, the bi-annual Tidal Gala, and... we have a lot of parties, I guess."

Elsa sighed. "This place is a utopia. The people are so happy and content. There's no war, no hard work. All you do is have parties."

Sebastian nodded solemnly. "Atlantica didn't always used to be dis way. Ten years ago, de king banished all music from de sea kingdom. He was in mourning for his wife."

"Wow, I can't imagine a world without music," Rapunzel said.

"How would you even enforce that?" Rapunzel asked.

"He couldn't. Not for long. In fact," he whispered, "I was one of de biggest rascals dere was. You ever heard of De Catfish Club Band? I was de leader."

Elsa and Rapunzel shook their heads.

"No? How about Dizzy Crustace? De hottest performer in Eel-lectric City?"

Elsa and Rapunzel shook their heads again.

"Boy, you two must be from a different ocean. Where you swim in from?" Sebastian asked.

"No, we're from... um, up... up..." Rapunzel stammered.

"Up north. See the tail?" Elsa thrust out her ice-blue tail with the snowflake pattern on the fluke.

Sebastian shrugged. "Anyway, dere were underground clubs everywhere, playing music all night, sneaking in and out. After ten years de king finally come around. Before dat, he be mopin' all day like de sea slug. All he do is take a morning walk with his daughters and dat's it. Dis bossy governess would watch de girls. And I be out negotiating with de sprat and de smelt."

"He sounds like... kind of a tyrant," Elsa said.

"No! No, no. It's... I guess it's hard to explain." Sebastian shrugged. "He made me his royal court composer. I created all sorts of award-winning songs. Without me, music under de sea wouldn't be what it is today."

"What we heard sounded great," Elsa said. "The music in my kingdom is mostly somber violins. I can't wait to see what this ball is going to be like."

"Dis will be my biggest concert since de king died. It must be."

"Why?" Rapunzel asked.

"Everyone's unsure about the future. Atlantica spent so much time fearing humans, now no one's sure what to think. The princesses do more fightin' than rulin'. So dis Mermaid's Ball has got to be the best dat it can be. It seemed to all start when Ah-ree-el left. Dat girl was the sunshine in de ocean. Everywhere she went, she left a school of joyfish behind her. We shared so many adventures."

"But she's here right now. She came with us. Didn't you know?" Rapunzel said.

"She's back again? In de palace?!" Sebastian leapt off the stage and swam in a circle. "Well, why didn't you say so? Hey, did you hear? Princess Ariel's back!" he said to the others posting decorations around the hall.

"We know already. I just saw her in the courtyard," said a merman hanging a banner. "Jeez, come out of your shell once in a while."

"Dis," Sebastian said, "is just de kind of boost dis kingdom needs. It'll put de flush bock in everyone's fins." He swam off to find wherever his band. "Hey, guys, come back! We haff to practice twice as hard now."

Elsa turned to Rapunzel. "In the courtyard? She's not asleep?"

"Like we're supposed to be?" Rapunzel replied.

"I hope nothing's wrong. Let's see if we can find her."

After a quick swim around the castle, they found the courtyard. Situated at the rear, it looked much like a human one. Cement walkways wound through plots of sea anemones, coral sculptures, and tall statues. It was twice as big as either of their courtyards, and three times as lovely.

Ariel was sitting on a bench next to a patch of tall swaying seaweed. They spotted her red hair right away.  

"Hey, guys," she said in a cheerless voice. "What are you doing awake?"

"We couldn't sleep," Rapunzel said. "It's too exciting down here. So much to see and do."

"But that can't be your reason. This is your home," Elsa said.

Ariel sighed. "It used to be. Everything's different now. This used to be Alana's garden. She loved gardening. It was the most beautiful thing in the courtyard. And with her pet sea turtle and all her other fishy friends, they loved it. One day there was a seaquake and the garden was ripped apart. But the next day, all her friends rebuilt it out of wildflowers and coral blossoms. It was dazzling." Ariel waved her hand through the sargasso and sighed. "I can tell she's not tending it anymore. The servants are taking care of it."

"Maybe she has a lot of work to do," Elsa said. "Being queen is tough."

"The six of them are sharing the queenship and they still can't get it right?" Ariel asked. "Alana loved beauty. She made her own skin cremes. She always said 'we daughters of Triton must look our best'. I bet Aquata doesn't do water sports anymore. Andrina doesn't joke anymore. Adella doesn't think about boys. They said they don't even know who I am anymore. I don't know who they are either."

"Are they mad because you went to the surface?" Rapunzel asked.

"But that was your choice, " Elsa said. "You had ambition to be more than a princess. You saw what you wanted and went for it."

"But I never thought about what I was giving up," Ariel said. "I was so fascinated with the human world, I never thought about what I was leaving behind."

Elsa and Rapunzel sat down beside Ariel. "You knew what you were doing. You knew that you'd never see your family again when you made that deal. But now you can!"

"It doesn't feel right," Ariel said. "When I made that bargain, I knew it was a sacrifice. Being here again seems... wrong. Like I'm violating some rule."

"My mother said," Elsa said, "the past is what makes you who you are now, but you don't have to let it define your future."

"That's the thing!" Ariel looked up with pleading eyes. "I don't know which is my future. Is it here? Is it on the surface?" She sighed. "I wonder if I should never have become human at all."

"No," Rapunzel scoffed. "You'd be miserable if you hadn't. Think of what you'd have missed out on. Like horse rides."

"And snow. And crocuses," Elsa said.

"And guitar music. And bonfires," Rapunzel said.

"And tall forests. And giant fields full of wheat that go on forever," Elsa said.

"And meeting a bunch of ugly guys at a pub and singing about your dreams," Rapunzel said. "Or maybe that's just me."

"Everyone in my kingdom wants me to learn more about being a queen. It's terrible. It means staying at home, researching, making orders, doing nothing fun. I might as well stay locked in a barrel of sea water."

"You know what? We can worry about all this later," Elsa said. She surprised herself with how optimistic she sounded. "We're still safe down here, right?"

Ariel brushed her bangs from her eyes. She sniffled and nodded.

"So while we've got time, is there anything we can do to figure out how to deal with Arcius. We need to find more about this 'grain of time'. It's the key to his power."

"Oh! The letter!" Rapunzel exclaimed. "You should check if you got a letter. Like the ones we got."

Ariel perked up. "I could ask Dudley. He's the court clerk. Handles all the important documents." She took the lead, swimming off in an arc. Rapunzel and Elsa kept up as she entered the golden palace again.

They followed her into what looked like a library archive. Rows of cubbies stretched back as far as the eye can see. An old sea turtle lay on the floor, snoozing in a basket. His thick gray eyebrows twitched, which, somehow, the reptile had.

"Dudley? Dudley?" Ariel said.

The sea turtle opened his eyes. "Eh... what?... oh..." He yawned. "Prin... cess... you..."

"Dudley, have there been any letters for me since I left?"

"Let...ters? ...no... not... since... your... wedding.... Eh... when... was... that?"

"A year ago."

"Ariel," Elsa asked. "Is this place like a library?"

"Maybe there's material about Arcius or his magic or anything like that?" Rapunzel asked. "It's a long shot, but if the human libraries don't have anything, maybe you do."

"There wouldn't be anything about Temeris, but... ooh! I know. Dudley, listen."

"Eh... what-"

"Can you look through the archives for any information about 'sands of time'? I know it sounds poetic, but I think it's some sort of magic artifact. It can be used to change the past."

"And it's very small," Rapunzel said.

"And very rare," Elsa added.

"Sands... of... time? ...I... don't..."

"Great, thanks Dudley. You're still the best clerk Atlantica ever had." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Well..." Dudley's cheeks flushed red.

"Come on," Ariel said, swimming away. "While he's doing that, we have a ball to get ready for."