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#i realize im just revisiting every single thing from my childhood like that and mlp and twilight and fnaf and all the emo pop punk music
maggotlipstick · 3 years
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Might fuck around and listen to breaking benjamin for the first time since I was like 11
#i realize im just revisiting every single thing from my childhood like that and mlp and twilight and fnaf and all the emo pop punk music#how do u know if ur age regressing or just like revisiting everything from ur childhood bcoz fuck its familiar so its comforting and#makes chemical reactions in my brain that i dont usually get from anything else#listening rn and yeah as expected im weirdly giddy and embarrassed/confused but wow feeling is weird#oh god not trying to be one of those 'just to feel again' bitches but literally nothing makes me giddy like my old music its weird#like i got a bass guitar last week Of Course i was happy and i love it!! its literally exactly what ive wanted for like a year#but i didnt feel it like i feel this its kind of uncomfy actually#😋i need a therapist#i doubt if im rlly numb all the time until i do feel something and i actually cant handle it bcoz its not something im used to#like i remember what its like to feel anger but its been a Long time#i dont remember fear or anxiety which is cool ig but i do overthink and avoid things like talking to ppl bcoz its just easier#excitement is a fun one im never excited im very dull and numb but sometimes when i think abt my comfort ocs i get this fluttery nerve pain#like butterflies in my chest that shoots through my arms and buzzes in my fingers i have No idea what that is but i used to feel it about#other people before i became completely traumatized and isolated#i think i did at least#i love the feeling its weird but i think it was a Not good thing when i used to feel it about ppl#oh yeah i have actually felt sadness recently but it never happens that strongly#this last time was horrifying tho bcoz it was so out of the blue and uncomfortable like i just started crying it was extremely overwhelming#since im not used to it#but yeah other than the lil sad spell from last week and the weird giddiness from my old music im just blah 24/7#OH YEAH i forgot to mention feeling sad and crying HURTS LIKE A BITCH that was one of the scary overwhelming parts#like sadness Physically Hurts when i do feel it every blue moon what the actual fuck is up withthat
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