#i realize im just revisiting every single thing from my childhood like that and mlp and twilight and fnaf and all the emo pop punk music
Text
Might fuck around and listen to breaking benjamin for the first time since I was like 11
#i realize im just revisiting every single thing from my childhood like that and mlp and twilight and fnaf and all the emo pop punk music#how do u know if ur age regressing or just like revisiting everything from ur childhood bcoz fuck its familiar so its comforting and#makes chemical reactions in my brain that i dont usually get from anything else#listening rn and yeah as expected im weirdly giddy and embarrassed/confused but wow feeling is weird#oh god not trying to be one of those 'just to feel again' bitches but literally nothing makes me giddy like my old music its weird#like i got a bass guitar last week Of Course i was happy and i love it!! its literally exactly what ive wanted for like a year#but i didnt feel it like i feel this its kind of uncomfy actually#😋i need a therapist#i doubt if im rlly numb all the time until i do feel something and i actually cant handle it bcoz its not something im used to#like i remember what its like to feel anger but its been a Long time#i dont remember fear or anxiety which is cool ig but i do overthink and avoid things like talking to ppl bcoz its just easier#excitement is a fun one im never excited im very dull and numb but sometimes when i think abt my comfort ocs i get this fluttery nerve pain#like butterflies in my chest that shoots through my arms and buzzes in my fingers i have No idea what that is but i used to feel it about#other people before i became completely traumatized and isolated#i think i did at least#i love the feeling its weird but i think it was a Not good thing when i used to feel it about ppl#oh yeah i have actually felt sadness recently but it never happens that strongly#this last time was horrifying tho bcoz it was so out of the blue and uncomfortable like i just started crying it was extremely overwhelming#since im not used to it#but yeah other than the lil sad spell from last week and the weird giddiness from my old music im just blah 24/7#OH YEAH i forgot to mention feeling sad and crying HURTS LIKE A BITCH that was one of the scary overwhelming parts#like sadness Physically Hurts when i do feel it every blue moon what the actual fuck is up withthat
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