#i realised tonight that she's rarely vulnerable with Tom - which is something he's always wanted

[tinylilvalery]

Shiv weaponises her vulnerability to victimise herself to force Tom into forgiving her [1][2] + doesn't respect his boundaries [3][4] when he needs space from her.

1. In 1.10 Shiv comes clean to Tom on their wedding night about her cheating on him, AFTER their marriage (despite Tom asking her beforehand and giving her a chance then). Shiv weaponises her vulnerability into forcing Tom to forgive her, bringing up how when they met she was a "mess" and in a "very bad place" and how she needs him and also tries to gaslight Tom about their relationship never being monogamous. He forgives her because he's in a difficult position (divorce on the same night as marriage?? She didn't give him an out to call off the wedding beforehand and waited until after he was secured), he loves her, and he's forced to sympathise and accept things.

2. Shiv only apologises to Tom when she sees how cold he's being with her in 4.8. There's real danger he's actually done with the relationship. The kicked dog isn't returning to heel. She apologises. He doesn't accept it (you don't have to accept an apology, especially if you're still upset and someone is tryna force an apology on you because THEY feel bad and want to alleviate their guilt and return things to something that THEY'RE comfortable with). She uses the fact that her dad just died, which doesn't change the fact that everything he said in the prior fight was true. Their relationship had been shit for ages prior to Logan's death, therefore Logan's death doesn't excuse the rest of the relationship, and he's still immovable. Damn, he's always comforted and folded to her before, he's not doing that right now. Shit. Bring out the heavy. I'm pregnant and it's yours! The ultimate card to reel him back. He wanted a baby right? But he doesn't even believe her now... Why should he care anyway? How much has she ever cared about him?

3. In 4.7 Tom walks away from Shiv and goes to the balcony, needing space, telling Shiv he's tired. She doesn't respect this need for space and corners him on the balcony, literally not allowing him any reprieve, and actively mocks him for being exhausted, pressing and pressing him until he snaps, despite the fact he didn't even want to fight in the first place. He needed space and wasn't allowed to have it.

4. Tom is exhausted and stressed out of his mind in 4.8 with his job (something that means the world to him and yet also something Shiv has never taken seriously - and how could she understand the importance it holds for him when she's a nepo baby). He asks Shiv to talk about this another time and that he can't do this right now. She doesn't respect his request and presses her needs above his and takes him aside again and isolates him, and then acts surprised and offended when he doesn't respond how she wants him to. Ironically if she had actually respected him asking to talk another time when he wasn't so stressed, she might have gotten the results she wanted: Tom back in her pocket.

[writingwithacupoftea]

Just need my big brother

Summary: After a busy day at work, Y/N Shelby realises that maybe she does still need her big brother after all.

Word Count: 1562

A/N: This is the first piece of writing that I’ve ever shared online! Hope you enjoy it!

It had been a long day, and Y/N Shelby was exhausted.

Y/N was one of the few of the Shelby clan who had succeeded in gaining an education.  Although the war had made it difficult, Y/N had brought it upon herself to push on at double speed to teach herself reading, writing and arithmetic.  Not only did she want to help out at the betting shop, she also wanted to make her brothers proud when they returned (when they return, she often had to remind herself), especially Tommy.

Polly often commented on the similarities between Y/N and Tommy, and it was obvious to anyone that saw them together that they were each other's favourite sibling.  By the age of 18, Polly had been proven right (as usual) - not only did Y/N possess her beloved elder brother's way with words, but she was also had his confidence and intelligence.  One thing that the women were sure on, however, was that Tommy's mathematical abilities came nowhere near to Y/N's. She was a miracle worker when it came to numbers and could understand the figures like no one else in the company.

When the boys returned a year later, expecting to see their little sister waiting excitedly at the train station for them with plaits in her hair, exactly the same as when they left her, they were astonished to learn that she was out on business.

In fact, the first that they saw of her after four long years was her yelling at a group of blinders in Tommy's old office at the shop, who were staring at the floor and shuffling their feet in embarrassment.  Y/N Shelby was quite a different person to the one that the brothers had left behind, but she suited it well, they thought.  However, her overjoyed reaction upon seeing her brothers proved that maybe there was a portion of the old Y/N left.

And that point was going to be proven to Tommy once again tonight.

Tommy had always been especially protective over Y/N, and after overcoming his shock at seeing her reformed character had been furious that she had become so involved with both sides of the business: even though he barely showed it, he was terrified that something would happen to his baby sister, and Y/N knew that.  His overprotectiveness could be annoying, but she always knew that it came from a place of love.  Anyway, she always got her way with him in the end.  And so, after many arguments and family meetings, it was agreed that she could continue her work within the business.  Tommy couldn't deny that she was talented at what she did, and was beyond proud of his little sister (but of course the great Thomas Shelby struggled to say it in so many words).

Now, several months later, Y/N stumbled into the Shelby residence, exhausted.  She loved her work and pored all of her energy into it, but today had got to her.  Pushing on, however, she set out to find Tommy.  Y/N had just finished in a meeting, and knew that Tommy liked to know the details as soon as possible, despite her desire to collapse on her bed with a glass of gin.

To her complete and utter shock, Tommy was not in his office, as she would honestly usually expect him to be at ten o'clock at night.  Nor was he in the kitchen, and she knew that he wasn't at the Garrison as she'd popped in there before heading back.

Surely Thomas Shelby wasn't having an early night?

Slowly, Y/N made her way up the stairs and towards her elder brother's bedroom, where a light was shining through under the door frame. She knocked gently and after hearing him say "Come in," she pushed the door open.

Y/N was greeted with a sight that she hadn't born witness to in a long time: Tommy laid on his bed and smoking a cigarette, with his hair messy and simply wearing his undershirt and trousers, suspenders hanging loosely by his side.  His eyes softened as he saw his sister, and for once Y/N only saw her brother.  Not Thomas Shelby, her boss, just her big brother who she adored.

"Hello, sweetheart," Tommy said. "I was wondering when you would get back, I was starting to worry." He raised his eyebrows, silently posing a question which she understood perfectly.  Over the years the pair had mastered the art of communicating without words.

"Well you don't look like you were," Y/N replied with a mischievous tone in her voice, smirking slightly, causing Tommy to send her 'a look'.  "I'm fine, Tommy.  Mr Addison just didn't want to end his meeting with me, I was starting to think I was destined to never leave that office" she continued with a sigh, making her way over to him.  Her last sentence caused Tommy to tense, and he sat up straighter.

"Why, what happened?" A million different nightmarish possibilities began plaguing his thoughts, and he started to assess his little sister to see if there was even a single hair out of place.  Tommy was still firmly against Y/N attending meetings with potential clients and partners alone, however today had left him with no choice but to let her do so.  Whilst he had been busy himself, he had frequently found his thoughts straying to his sister.

Y/N put her coat on the back of Tommy's chair and placed her bag next to it.  "Nothing like what's running through your head at the moment, Tommy, I promise.  Just a few comments and looks, nothing I can't handle." Tommy wore a disapproving look, but this shifted to one of concern when he saw the dark circles under his sister's eyes.  She sat on the edge of his bed and laid her head on his knees (it was an uncomfortable position for her, but Y/N was honestly too tired to care).  "Do you mind if we go over the meeting in the morning? I made some notes, I'm just exhausted now."

"Of course, darling." It was spoken with such softness that Y/N turned her head to look at her brother, who had a gentle smile on his face.  He knew how hard his sister worked, and if he could he'd try and get her to slow down, but after several failed attempts to do so in the past Tommy realised that there was no point in wasting his breath.

But when he saw the glimmer of tears in Y/N's eyes, he knew that she'd probably pushed herself a bit too far this time.  In a rare display of vulnerability, Y/N whispered: "Right now, I just need my big brother," and Tommy's heart melted as she rested her head once again on his legs.

"Come here," Tommy said, stubbing out his cigarette and opening his arms up.  Without a moment's hesitation, Y/N clambered up onto the bed next to him and instantly relaxed into her brother's embrace.

The position wasn't exactly unfamiliar – before the war, Y/N had always come running to the middle brother when she had a nightmare, or couldn't get to sleep, or when she missed him and just wanted to say hello, the list of reasons was endless.  She had relied on him so much, and Tommy had never been able to complain, not when his friends would make fun of him for it or if she interrupted his time with Greta.  Y/N Mae Shelby was the complete and utter light of his life, and she still was.  Since the war, however, Y/N had become far more independent.  Not that that was a bad thing, Tommy thought, but he can't help but admit that he sometimes misses her simply being his little sister.  She'd grown up too fast for his liking.  But then again, she was a young woman now and not a child.

So Tommy cherished moments like these, his little angel curled up safely in his arms, just like the old days.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and rubbed his hand up and down her arm comfortingly, and in return she just squeezed him tighter and snuggled even more into his side.

"I know you don't exactly need me anymore, but I'll always make room for you, sweet girl," Tommy mumbled into Y/N's hair.  "And I'm proud of you.  So fucking proud.  You don't need to prove anything to me or push yourself this hard to show your worth.  Don't think I could run this business without you now." The siblings chuckled, though Y/N's was a watery one.  “Just try and look after yourself a bit more, eh?” As he felt her nod her head, a sense of relief washed over him.  He would always still keep an eye on her, it was his job as an elder brother, but he was happy to have finally got through to her.  Tommy placed another kiss on the top of his sister’s head.

"Love you, Tom." Y/N had said it so quietly that Tommy could’ve easily missed it.  But he never missed a thing when it came to his beloved sister, and his heart swelled at her statement.

"Love you more, sweetheart."

As she sighed contentedly, Y/N realised that, no matter what, she would always need her favourite big brother.  And nothing was going to change that any time soon.