#i read this book at 15 and again recently like 😭😭 i've personally never thought things like that about teachers it just feels invasive
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#i don't like when a character feels like they're supposed to be relatable but i can't relate to them#like there was this normal setting of a 16 y/o girl going to school and she's the only main character other than her dad who is almost 50#so obviously she's going to be a fleshed out character#and she's in history class and her teacher's divorced#and the moment her teacher shows a hint of sadness the narrator is like 'she imagined mrs. sonso touching herself alone at night etc.'#and the description continues for like four lines#i read this book at 15 and again recently like 😭😭 i've personally never thought things like that about teachers it just feels invasive#or anyone else for the matter#and i don't like how the author's trying to be like 'look this is the mind of a 16 year old girl' and to a predominantly adult audience#it sucks that i'm thinking so much about it because it's literally a minor part of the book there are so many other more meaningful topics#i don't know what most people around my age think i'm completely in the dark apart from the things i read online and in books like these#i can't help but feel a little alone bc i know it's normal to let your mind wander i just don't think much about this sort of stuff at all#and i don't know if it's because i'm still young and i'll grow out of it one day but i've been waiting to grow out of it for a long time#idk i think it's not normal whenever i read intimate scenes by a certain point you'd think at very least i'd be desensitised#and i've tried but it's like every time i read it has an adverse effect on my mind#anyways...
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