#i randomly got this idea in the middle of lunch yesterday

[crinchingtheircronch]

melvenn diagram haha

[cosmiclatte28]

Forced Marriage II

Hello!! The awaited second part is here! Refresh memory here

Thank you so much for waiting and I promise, one more chapter and this trilogy is done. Also I already have the idea and ending, so it's going to be fast.

A/n : I cried in the middle of writing this. A bit too carried away by the emotion of explaining (y/n)'s abusive father. I cried like cried a lot and sobbed. Blew my nose and wiped my eyes but as I type tears keep falling (I hope I am not the only one crying)

trigger warning : character's death

tagging : @yutahoes @neopalette @swagmonsterofficial @byunniebaekhyunnie @huniehoeee

writing net : @supermwritersnet @multifandomnet

“Good morning Mam, is (y/n) awake?" Baekhyun greets the young lady watering the small garden on the front porch.

“Oh Baekhyun! What is it that makes you come early in the morning? And No she hasn't” your mother looks at the young energetic man in front of her. Memories flash by her eyes when she still remembers Baekhyun being the small cheerful boy from next door. Puberty does hit him well, your mother thought.

“Did you bump your head last time mam?” Baekhyun playfully asks, he knows your mother close enough to crack jokes and secretly your mother loves his playful jokes.

“Oh Baekhyun, you’ve never changed! Always the fun silly careless boy from next door. Now, I know you’re here to deliver milk right?” your mom takes a peek at the truck Baekhyun’s brother is handling.

Well the Byun family owns a farm and supplies milk and eggs to this town and the neighboring town. They’re a well known family for it.

“Do you mind if we get one more bottle? We have guests today.” Your mother takes out her wallet to pay for the milk and Baekhyun nods “We have plenty today! I’m glad your guest gets to taste this town’s best milk. Who is this lucky guest mam?” Baekhyun asks as he puts the milk down to the front patio.

Your mother comes back with some cash and gives it to Baekhyun along with a basket of fresh bread she just baked this morning.

“It’s your favorite bread. I see there’s a lot of deliveries today.” your mom smiles seeing the truck full of eggs and milks.

Baekhyun nods “Yes, business is doing good.”

“Oh about the guest, well he’s (y/n)’s future fiance. Hope you can meet him soon and be friends with him. He’s a nice guy, like you Baekhyunie.” your mother taps his nose like she used to when Baekhyun was nine.

Baekhyun’s smile falls when he hears “(y/n)’s future fiance.” what is this? Why has he never heard the news from you?

He has a lot to ask but his brother already honks the horn and Baekhyun comes back to his senses

“Come over for dinner or lunch next time Baekhyun!” your mother offers a polite invitation to the young lad and Baekhyun puts on his smile again as he bows “Thank you and I’ll see you soon mam.” he waves goodbye and jumps into the free seat next to his brother.

“Have a nice day you two!” your mother sends the Byun brothers off and descends to the kitchen with the fresh milk.

“Baekhyunie,” she sighs and hides a small smile “Always charming and sweetheart, some lady will be lucky to have him one day.”

--

Baekhyun’s brother hears everything, but he is not aware of the romantic feelings both you and Baekhyun share. He only knows the relationship between his brother and you is platonic.

“Look at (y/n), it’s like only yesterday their family moved in and both of you are so young. Running around carelessly, getting bruises from trying to climb trees, and woop she’s engaged now. When will you get a fiancee Baek?” his brother jokes around and wiggles his eyebrow to Baekhyun who only keeps his head on the road by the window

He sighs “I don’t know, why don't you get married first. You’re the brother here.” he scorns

You spend the day waiting for your neighbor’s head to pop up on the window but until lunch he’s not back yet. Your mother told you he’s away to the town and the neighboring town for the day but usually by afternoon they’re back. There’s nothing much for you to do since Sehun bid farewell and said he’ll return next week with the plans all ready and the wedding can happen soon. You don’t even have to buy a dress because your mother wants you to use hers, since its the tradition. You scoff in your mind, when do you ever have a chance to make a choice?

Even something as simple as what outfit to wear to meet someone, your mother won’t let you choose by yourself

Tea time makes you finally move your butt from sitting next to the window. His room window is still shut closed and the truck is still not home. Did something happen to them? Your worry disappears when the truck comes into your sight but you already got yourself dragged out of your room by your mom.

Baekhyun washes his body quickly and climbs up to his room after faking a smile to his parents. His brother is busy counting today’s revenue but Baekhyun opens his window and sits down only to stare at yours which was still open.

He can see your room, how the lights are on and he knows that means you were dragged out and you didn't have the chance to turn the lights off.

He sighs and closes his curtain, watching your empty room already makes it hard for him to breathe. What about the day when you will move into Sehun’s house?

Judging by his car yesterday, Baekhyun knows he is from the city and he is rich. Will Baekhyun be able to wake up in the morning knowing that the reason he wakes up everyday is now taken away from him? Not that he can actually say “taken away” since he never claims you as his.

You sit uncomfortably on your chair. Your father keeps on talking about this wedding. He doesn't even realize he’s indirectly saying “I am marrying you to Sehun just for the sake of my business so it won’t crumble down and you’ll live a good life after I die.”

Your ear burns with every single word your father rambles. Yes you grew up with his strict rules, you got hit several times but this… setting up your marriage and pressing on you to accept it as his last wish hurts the most.

“I don’t love Sehun.” you try to speak up your voice.

Your dad chuckles as he sips on his tea “I never said this marriage is based on love.”

You gulp and look at your mom with your red eyes. You’re ready to cry and scream here that you’re tired of your life being controlled but your mother shakes his head gently with a pleading look and you don't want to hurt her feelings so you keep your lips shut.

--

Life feels like hell after Sehun’s constant mail filled with questions of which flower you want, what color you want his tie to be and whatever useless question he asks (it’s useless because you don’t intend to bother thinking of which color or flower for a wedding you don’t want).

Since the day Sehun left, you’ve never met Baekhyun too and that is odd. Something about the way his window is always closed when you wake up, how he never pops his head randomly at the window, his constant busy days that you don’t hear any knock of pebbles on your window and the disappearing sunshine in your life.

Your wedding invitation is distributed already to everyone that’s within the inner circle and in your hand now lies one more invitation you can’t bring yourself to hand.

“Byun family” was written on the addressed invitation. You hold the invitation in your hand and almost drop it when your mother suddenly enters your room and questions you with “Whose invitation is that you’re still holding?”

You gulp “Baekhyun’s” your voice croaks and your mother nods.

“Why are you not giving it to them?” she sits down next to you and runs a hand on your hair.

“I haven't seen him and I want to give it to him.” you lie. Well to be honest, you’d rather have your mom deliver this to his mother but you need an excuse to meet Baekhyun and he’s been gone so you need to see him. At least see him before you are married to another man you barely know.

--

Early in the next morning, you wake up to the noise from the window. You open the blinds, looking to find the ruckus and that's when your eyes pop open. There you see Baekhyun jumping around the garden and his family are just smiling and patting his back. You saw a white envelope in his hand and you're trying to remember if he ever tells you about waiting any good news. No, Baekhyun never tells you anything. You open your window and pop your head out waiting for the happy man to notice you and maybe share the good news with you, but until he climbs into his room, he didn't spare you a glance and instead he's calling someone and you're sure that is Chanyeol.

You tried to eavesdrop but it's impossible despite the close distant, someone was using the blender downstairs. Annoyed, you toss some rock to his direction but it all doesn't hit him.

Now, you're mad. What made him ignore you, was it that carnival night incident? After that you never met him… so is that why he is still ignoring you?

You wave and try to get his attention, to which he completely didn't see. Alas, your mother calls you for breakfast and you have to go.

The sweet smell of waffles make you smile and lighten up your sour mood.

"What's the good news in Baekhyun's house?" You ask your mom when she looks like she knows something.

She smiles as she sips her tea "Oh didn't you hear? He was auditioning for a record company and well he sent his tape and he won the offer. The company wants him to move to the town this weekend and they will begin his contract and discuss his debut. Oh that Baekhyun!" Your mom wipes a tear that fell, as if he is her son and she is so damn proud.

Your father smiles "Good fella, he sure will make it big. I remember him singing in the town hall when he was eleven! Good vocal, good looks, easy personality. I think the company made a good decision."

Both your parents are so happy, but you… something inside your heart is furious. How come he never tells you about this, will he leave you? Leave you for a dream that might flop!

You hide your feelings during breakfast and after cleaning up, you sneak out to knock on Baekhyun's window.

The mischievous grin you memorize by heart appears in the window and he gladly opens it up so you can climb in.

"What makes you climb in my window?" He calmly asks. His stupid smile still there as if he didn't do any mistakes and he was surprised you are here.

You sigh "You lied."

He shrugs his shoulders "You lied first."

You scrunch your brow "What do you mean?!"

He sits down and you copy him "Well, you didn't tell me the truth that you are engaged."

You froze and he slaps your back "Guess my proposal last time wasn't good. Congratulations." He tried to joke it off but you are tearing up.

"Don't congratulate me. I don't know him and I don't love him."

Baekhyun sighs "It's father again isn't it?" He places a comforting arm around you and you bury your face in his chest. Crying your heart out and calming you down.

"I'm sorry honey, I couldn't propose wealth to your father and I couldn't even ask your hand for marriage with a diamond ring. I'm sure that lucky guy has so many to offer you." He rubs your hair but his words sting more and you punch him "I don't need that. I just want to be with you."

"Well, we can still be friends." He tries to hold his emotion back at the word friends.

"But I want you as my husband! I love you." You stare into his eyes and see his eyes smile "I just need to hear that. I also love you."

"And you are not telling me that you auditioned for that singing company!" You punch his chest again.

Baekhyun giggles "Sorry, I heard your mom said about the fiance and I was so sad and mad at myself for not claiming you first… so that made me send my audition tape because I thought that you're going to be his and it'll hurt me."

"So you're leaving me with that man. You run!" You let out a breather

Baekhyun bites his lips "Well, I have to chase my dream like you always said."

"My dream is to be a singer." Baekhyun stands up and shows you the acceptance letter.

You read it through the tears "This is so far away Baek."

"Well, but it's a step closer to singing in stage!" He stares at you with passionate energy in his eyes and you couldn't bring yourself to beg for him to just stay here and be your neighbor so you can at least wake up and see him and feel less bad.

"Now, I have to leave this Sunday. Do you want to spend the rest of the week with me?"

You nod and hide the invitation behind your back. No he shouldn't know that you're getting married. Let him think he is only your fiance that won't hurt him.

"It's Tuesday already, we have 5 days."

You wipe your tears and lock your eyes to the ecstatic boy.

"Later i will write songs about you! About our friendship and about our memories. I'll make money and I can get you that diamond ring and we can host a wedding you love! The simple one in a garden." He pretends he is walking down the aisle and you just want to disappear. No one should break his heart but if he must get his heart broken why must it be from you?

"So, (y/n) wait for me okay. Don't get feelings with this man."

You scoff, Baekhyun doesn't even know the man's name.

"And then one day I will return to you and we can live like our dream." He takes your hands into his and twirls you around the room. You laugh and giggle, feeling alive from the small action you missed.

He ends with hugging you and you wish so hard that life could change its path and you can be with Baekhyun.

"Congratulations Baekhyun!" You whisper

--

5 days. 5 days to Baekhyun's departure and 6 to your wedding.

Day 1, you rush your fitting and got to spend the afternoon walking to the rose garden near the forest.

Day 2, Baekhyun starts packing and you're using the chance to practice your wedding speech and your walk. The afternoon was spent together strolling around down town

Day 3, You had to pick the dress up and Baekhyun had to legalize some of his documents. You sneak to his rooftop that night, both of you just sitting and enjoying the starry nigh.

Day 4, You help him pack only for him to realize your body has bruises. He stops you from helping and folds your sleeves "What else did you do?"

You shake your head and unfold the sleeve trying to shake it off saying it's just a small problem but Baekhyun could see the fear in your eyes and he knows you're lying.

"Wait for me, I'll save you. I promise." He pulls you into a hug and for the first time, you press a deep kiss into his lips.

Day 5, You hand him the invitation and you're glad you kissed him last night because right now all you can see is your feet and how Baekhyun's hand trembles. His hair hides his eyes but from the way his lips shake and his body shakes, you know he is furious and disappointed at you.

"I am sorry." You whisper

"Why not sooner." He asks, his voice so bitter and dry. His eyes still avoid yours.

"I want to spend my time with you before you go."

"But why you keep this invitation until today?!" His voice cracked and you cried. This time, he doesn't console or calm you down. He lets you cry alone

He closes the invitation "You could've given me sooner and I won't be promising you all those dreams. Now I sound like the jerk who made promises to a girl who will be married in two days! Grow up (y/n)! If I knew this-"

You cut him off "If you knew this, you'd avoid me Baek! And I wouldn't want to waste my precious 5 days to be with you. Heck who knows if this might be the last time we see each other." You're furious too and Baekhyun shakes his head "What are you talking about. We're adults! I'll definitely accept the news like a mature man. I won't give you the silent treatment."

You scoff "You would. I know you Baekhyun."

"And if you know me… do you know that because you did this, i am now so i don't know… i'm " he pauses

"You hate me?" You ask that

He shakes his head and stomps his leg "I love you okay! But this is not right! I'll. You know what?" He couldn't speak right and couldn't think straight

"This will make my departure easier. You do know artists cannot date and I'll be busy. Well, now I won't have the reason to think about you and our dream. You're going to be with him forever and i? I will be the fool who didn't know you're already someone else's. Goodbye. And congrats."

"No Baekhyun. Please, sorry. I cannot do anything!"

"Yes I know. You're just too afraid of everything your father said. You can't fight for yourself and oh I'm tired okay! If you told me earlier, we could think of a way to stop this. But now it's too late! I'm leaving tomorrow and your wedding is ready! Don't make yourself an embarrassment by canceling the date. Go, live your silver spoon life. Goodbye (y/n) it was nice knowing you."

Baekhyun steps inside his house, closes the door and you're there staring at the floor, eyes still wet.

He's right . It's too late.

You force yourself to go home and well, you didn't even get to send him a proper goodbye.

--

Baekhyun just left like that, with a simple goodbye from the window and he’s gone. You are also preoccupied by the busy preparation for the big day tomorrow that you don’t have time to ask Baekhyun about his arrival or well updates.

While drowning in the sadness of losing Baekhyun, your best friend, your love, and your dream, you have no soul left when you have to recite the vows. The wedding bells deafen your ears, the smile from the guests blind your eyes and when Sehun kisses your lips, your tears fall because Baekhyun’s right everything is too late to be fixed.

You’re glad Sehun didn’t force you to sleep with him on the first night. He respects your decision and you sleep peacefully that night, mostly because you’re tired of thinking and the day is tiring.

Your morning wasn’t any difference than before, despite living in a house not far from home, you didn’t feel any difference. Well, Sehun is as stoic as your dad, his morning is filled with coffee, newspapers, and him checking his agenda.

“We will be busy this week, your dad wants to move the company ownership to us, you will follow me to the office. Go dress up smart and I’ll see you in the car an hour from now, is that enough?” he asks and you nod.

The maids here clean up the table as Sehun leaves to fetch his documents and working bag and you just hope Baekhyun will reply to any of your texts.

The paperwork takes your whole one week, office paperworks, house ownership, marriage legalization and well with your father’s health deteriorating it’s been hard for everyone to keep signing papers when father is in the hospital. Your father has already prepared his last wills and all beneficiaries.

You finally get news from Baekhyun’s mother saying that he already signed the contracts and the company loves him and wants to make a great debut for him. He’s preparing to write songs and he is arranged to debut in two years if he is good.

One month after being Oh Sehun’s wife, you begin to see a difference in your husband’s attitude. Yes he can be a caring man, his cold facade is slowly gone, but the sly look in his face is still there. You don’t know what but something in your guts say that this is just the calm before the storm. Your father’s condition gets worse and the hospital announces that he will probably have months left. You take turn with your mom in looking after dad. He’s in the bedroom lying down half alive, the machines keep his heart pumping and the oxygen tube in his nose forces oxygen into his lungs. You feel bad for him, despite all the pain you grew up with, your dad was a responsible person who never leaves you and your mom.

“I am sorry (y/n) for being a bad father. I hope you forgive me and I hope your future will be good.” he said that one afternoon when he saw you crying on his side. You were crying because you were telling him your heart about how he hurts you but he was trying his best for his family.

“I am sorry I cannot be your ideal daughter.” you hold his hand and he smiles weakly, “You’re all I would ask for. I love you and mom so much but I’m just so bad am I not? I hit you a lot.”

You cry harder, “It was because you care about me.”

He shakes his head “I shouldnt have been that hard. You’re a flower after all, we need to handle you with care”

“But you trained me to be a warrior dad. And whatever storm I will face one day, I will be thankful that you beat me as a kid so that I won’t just cry and accept fate if things go wrong.”

Your father lets another tear fall “I hope you don’t have to experience that time, but if you have to, I know I prepared you well.”

You hold into his hand tighter “I forgive you dad. Do you forgive me?”

He smiles “I never hate you love, I always forgive your mistakes every night before I sleep. I just have to punish you so you know that everything comes with consequences.”

You nod “I’ll remember that, how are you feeling dad?”

He coughs “Feeling like a sinner confessing his sins, but I’m glad I have time to tell you this.”

You kiss his hand and he takes a deep breath. “Be happy my flower, use the wealth for good stuff, and always help others. Remember that everything takes process.”

Your mom comes into the room and when the golden sun rays kiss your dad’s face, he glances to you and your mom. His sincere smile blooms and both you and your mom hold his hands, he takes one deep breath “My job here is done, I love you both.” he lets a big exhale and there goes your father. A great man who just can’t express his love in the best way.

Come to think of it, he is always coming home whenever he can. He tries to go home fast so he can eat dinner together. He only starts breakfast when all the chairs are filled. He taught you how to use a screwdriver, he taught you chess so you can beat your nosy friends. He helped you ride your bike. He’s the one who pays all of your living cost and not for once has he made you worried about what the family will eat for today. When life wasn’t as easy as this, he made sure you can still get a new dress on special days and he tries his best to bring you to the circus tour. Wealth came to your father when he was old and you were a young adult, and now he doesn’t have the time to enjoy it too much but he gave it all to you.

Baekhyun trained so hard day and night. His will and desire to be an artist beat all of his homesickness and exhaustion. He always appears in the training room with a big smile even though he has to go home half asleep. The company loves his attitude and promises a lot of good things for him. The boy just smiles, saying he’ll be happy as long as his dream of being an artist comes true. He heard about your dad’s death from his family and actually came home to join the funeral. He saw you but you were too sad to notice him and so he disappeared the next day. He noticed you moved back into your mother’s house because you don’t want her to feel alone. Sehun lets you do that, and because your mom insisted Sehun to also stay there, now the three of you live under the same roof.

Two years after your father’s death, Baekhyun has his debut. Well, it has to be delayed because the company saw that it’s going to be better to debut in Summer than in Fall. His hard work paid off when you finally see his name rising in charts and appearing in music shows. His hair is no longer boring, it’s painted silver white and you never think Baekhyun will look hot as an old man, but here you see him looking so handsome and lively as he finally gets to sing on a stage for thousands of audience. He was labeled as the successful rookie and he’s been offered a lot of advertisements and special appearances. You’re happy whenever you hear the town people talk about his name, or when the radio turns on his song. You missed him, you always text him but he rarely replies.

Everything seems going according to plan, but your guts were right. Those days were just the calm before the storm.

To be continued….

“(Y/n), come to the hospital now.”

“(Y/n) a package is here for you.”

[streetlight11]

Our Magic

Theme: superpowers au, sort of enemies to lovers

Genre: fluff, very mild angst if you squint

WC: 1.9k

Pairing: Teleporter!San x Telekinetic!FemReader

a/n: Hi :) For those of you who is confused, the theme of this fic is based on the game called 'Choices' and the specific book this idea came from was called 'The Elementalists'. I'll include pictures of the facilities mentioned in this so that you have a general idea of how it looks like! Anyways, the fic doesn't really have a deep plot here, I just jumped straight to the fluffy end. Enjoy 😅

~~~

Penderghast College was a school that provides education and home for kids that were born with supernatural powers. It was a bright Thursday afternoon and it was currently lunch time as the students bustled through the halls, garden, corridors and also the dining hall.

“Hey, did you guys finish the assignment on the spell yesterday?” Yunho asked as some of the boys sitting at that table shook their heads. A series of complaints leaving their lips at the mention of their dreadful assignment.

“I got stuck at the third spell so I gave up.” Wooyoung said while taking a bite out of the Bourbon Apple Pie.

“I don’t understand a single thing he said in class.” San sighed, making Hongjoong and Jongho agree. Just as he was about to scoop up a chunk of his shaved ice dessert, the bowl began to float upwards. It hovered in front of his face for a good few seconds.

“What the-” San whispered as he began to see red smoke surrounding the bowl. This was a dead giveaway on who was behind this.

With that, San scanned the cafeteria in search of this person only for him to finally lock eyes with the girl who has been diligently getting on his nerves. There she was, sitting in her seat almost across the hall with her friends. Her eyes began to glow red, her finger swirling around slowly in the air as she pointed her finger right in his direction.

She smirked when she locked eyes with him and with one soft flick of her fingers, the dessert bowl tipped over. It splashed onto his shirt, making him jolt out of the seat abruptly. This was enough to catch the attention of others, turning their heads in his direction out of curiosity.

She scoffed a laugh as one of her friends turned to her with a small frown.

“Y/N, don't you think that’s a bit mean?” Changmin asked but the girl only shrugged.

“I just love making him mad.” She confessed, only for a sudden tight grip around her shoulders made her scoff. San suddenly appeared behind her, pulling her in a headlock.

“Do you ever stop?” San growled in her ear.

Just then, San sharply pulled away when he felt hot sparks nipping at his skin thanks to her red flames of energy she radiated off her body. She turned around to him with a small smile dancing on her lips.

“Do you want me to?”

“Fucking yes!”

“Then no.” She smirked.

With a grunt of annoyance, San flashed out of the cafeteria and into his dorm room. Y/N laughed as she turned back to her friends, only to see Changmin glaring at her.

“What?” She shrugged her shoulders without feeling a single guilt which made Changmin sigh, clearly not agreeing with what she did even though he wasn’t actually friends with San.

A few weeks later, San couldn’t sleep so he snuck out of the dorm building, only to head towards the Wood Nymph Forest, successfully sneaking past the carved marble figure. He was just randomly teleporting at a 10 feet distance from left to right, front to back when he heard bickering from somewhere.

He tried to find the source, only to see two shadowy figures just a few metres down from him diagonally. He teleported to the nearby tree that hides him from the sight of whoever it was.

However, when he arrived behind the tree, the voice sounded oddly familiar. And for the first time, she sounds like she was… crying?

“You’re leaving me for the girl you called atrocious just yesterday? What happened to your promises? Was I never good enough for you?” Y/N asked as her tears rolled down little by little, her voice cracking here and there.

“Look, people change and feelings definitely change too.”

“So you’re telling me, all these months of spending time together, buying little gifts for each other, sneaking out at night just to watch the starry night, going on midnight adventures, they’re all nothing to you now?” Y/N asked in which he nodded without a single doubt.

This was enough to break her heart into pieces.

“Tell me what I lack from her, I can try to change. I can try to be like her. Just tell me. Please Minhyuk!”

“Y/N! I already said I don’t have feelings for you anymore and that’s that! I’m breaking up with you whether you like it or not.” With that being said, Minhyuk began to disintegrate with the wind, since that was his form of teleportation.

“Minhyuk… Kang Minhyuk!” Y/N called desperately as she fell to the ground, her knees suddenly buckled letting gravity sink her down to earth.

Her cries were soft. San watched her body slowly begin to ignite red hues of smoke around her body.

Normally, in some circumstances, San would just turn around and walk away whenever it comes to her. He couldn’t even bring himself to fight back with her sometimes simply because he wanted nothing to do with her.

But that night, something in him was screaming at him to comfort her. Maybe it has been doing that all along, he just didn’t want to.

But before he could take a step forward, she already got up and began walking further into the woods to where he remembers the lake to be. He followed behind her at quite a distance to avoid being noticed by her. She soon arrived at the lake, only to plop on the pebbled floor inches away from the lake as the water crashed onto shore in gentle waves.

She buried her face in her arms that were hugging her knees tightly, completely blocking out the world. Even though she could definitely sense his presence behind her, she simply continued crying.

San sighed softly, carefully reappearing a foot behind her body. He silently took a seat beside her. She finally looked up, turning her head away from him as she wiped her tears with the sleeves of her sweater.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her voice cold as he stared at the side of her face, only for his gaze to drop to her neck.

“Unfortunately for you, I just so happened to be around that area when you had that fight with your boyfriend-”

“Ex-boyfriend.” She corrected him and he simply nodded.

“Right…”

The both of them fell silent as she turned back in front only for her gaze to drop to her promise ring she had on from when Minhyuk bought it for her on their first month together.

She quietly took it out of her ring finger, only to levitate it in her palm before it disintegrated into red dust in her hands.

“Why do the people I care for the most always end up leaving me?” She suddenly questioned him. Since he was quiet, she turned to look at him.  

He didn’t look shocked, nor did he look like he was about to tease her. Instead, his eyes were soft, just staring at her innocently.

“Sometimes when people leave you, it’s for the good reason. Maybe they were going to be a bad company for you in the future? Might be that they’ve grown in such a way that they don’t see themselves matching with your personality? Might also be that they came into your life as a test for you.” San said, only for her to break eye contact. Turning back ahead to divert her gaze and stare at the waters instead.

“If you were him, would you leave me too?” Her question came as a surprise for him, making him nearly choke on his own saliva.

“If it’s something that we both can work on together, then I wouldn’t.” He said, in which she slowly nodded. But her mind was still somewhere else. Just then, a bright idea flashed in his mind as he got up, only for her eyes to follow his figure.

“Let’s go. Get up.” He suddenly proposed, catching her off guard.

“Go where?” She asked slightly taken aback, holding his hand out for her to take.

“Have fun.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on!” San said with a smile, grabbing her hands and dragged her onto her feet as he began running towards the waters. She yelped the minute her legs got splashed by the waters. However, he continued to pull her in deeper.

“Ahh! San! I didn’t bring any more clothes!” She squeaked as he chuckled, telling her that it was fine and for her to just relax. They were now waist deep. Her shorts and the bottom part of her sweater was already soaked.

Just then, San let go of her hand only to disappear. She jumped back in shock, looking around to see her alone in the middle of the water.

Right at that moment, something grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down, only for her to dunk her body by accident up to her chin. San reappeared onto the surface only to gasp for air. Laughing before wiping his face off the water droplets.

“Choi San!” She scolded him but the boy didn’t seem to be taking her seriously. For some reason, she didn’t feel annoyed. In fact, she actually felt happy. A small smile tugged on her lips as he splashed a handful of water on her, causing her to gasp.

They played around for quite a bit, that wasn’t until Y/N’s feet slipped past a sudden drop in the lake. 

She lost her balance when she submerged fully about a foot in before San appeared in front of her only to teleport onto a shallow end. She gripped onto his shoulders tightly while he wrapped his arms around her waist to prevent her from slipping. Both of them gasped for air as they tried to catch their breath.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly, making her look at him in the eyes only to feel a sudden wash of shyness come through her.

Why did she feel this way when she’s been nothing but a nuisance to him all this while?

She nodded softly as he whispered a soft ‘okay’ before his eyes travelled down to her lips. San was so sure he found her annoying before but why is he feeling this now?

He leaned in little by little, feeling her squeeze his shoulder slightly only to stop when he brushed his lips over hers very lightly. The gentle waves pushing their bodies to move along with the current as his arms around her waist tightens. With that last wave, it accidentally pushed San’s body forward, making him seal his lips on hers.

She froze, watching him close his eyes. That’s when she decided to do the same. She soon moved her lips with his. Feeling him move his lips with hers in a gentle kiss. She pulled away to breathe when the waves had gotten calmer.

“Why did you do that?” She asked softly, her voice barely audible. For some reason, he couldn’t find himself to look at her in the eye.

“I… I don’t know.” 

She fell quiet as she gently cupped his face only to kiss him again, just to see how he would react. Thinking he would pull away or push her. But instead, he seemed to melt even deeper into the kiss. San wraps her legs around his waist before teleporting them onto shore with her laying down while he hovers over her.

San was passionate about the kiss. Feeling her tangle her fingers into his damp hair, only to tug on it lightly. This action caused him to exhale a soft breath, making him hiss.

“Are you gonna continue picking on me after today?” He asked when he pulled away to look at her face that adorns a smile.

“Just for the laughs? Probably yeah.” She teased. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he peppered her lips with small kisses.

~~~~

Here are the pictures for reference:

[renjunfromthestars]

slow dancing in the dark

Pairing: Jeno + Reader bestfriend!Jeno

Genre: angst, best friend!au, College!au, Best Friends to Lovers! Au

Song recs: Slow Dancing in the Dark (Joji), Don’t Wanna Fall in Love (KYLE), Best Friend (Rex Orange County), EARFQUAKE (Tyler, The Creator), Apricot Princess (Rex Orange County). CAN’T GET OVER YOU (Joji), Me and Your Mama (Childish Gambino)

Word Count: 3.1k 

Summary: You and Jeno have always had a complicated relationship, but time is running out

Or

Jeno is in love with you, but can never express it the way he needs to

Notes: this one kinda hurt me to write ngl,,,I was real sad so I wrote it in one sitting

Please let me know what you guys think!!! I’m still pretty new to writing

---

Up until yesterday, it’s been months since you and Jeno have been in contact. Even though you go to the same school, you can’t help but think that he is avoiding you. If you’re going to be completely honest with yourself, he definitely is. Classic.

When you feel the slight pang of hurt ripple through your chest, you shake your head, trying to snap out of it. You rather not think about him right now. The 15 spotify playlists you embarrassingly curated denoting the emotional anguish of your most recent Jeno-filled-altercation was enough proof you’ve already spent too much time dwelling on this boy, who by the way, you’ve never even dated.

You have other things to worry about. College decisions are coming out soon, and it's absolutely imperative that you keep your grades in good standing. No school wants to accept a student just to find out that they’re a slacker. Better to be more upfront about you really are to the end, rather than to disappoint others later on. 

Jeno’s idea of school is hitting his dab pen in the bathroom, and sitting through every class high. And apparently, his idea of romance is not doing anything about your ambiguous relationship, and telling you to break up with Jaemin after only a week into dating. It was unholy unfair to Jaemin, and it's not like he's had almost three years to tell you how he feels, only to always come whining to you when you’re with someone else. It was a little different last time though. This is your last year of high school, and you both know it. It’s unlikely you’ll ever have as much time to be with (or to avoid) him at such close proximity--you’re almost definitely going to college out of state. Jeno has told you many times your ass is smart enough to pull it off. 

But that was months ago, things have since died down and there is no use dwelling on the past. You’ve cried enough tears, and you’re tired of waking up with puffy eyes that look like you have been stung by an angry bee hive because of it. According to Renjun, Jeno had stopped sulking in his library during his free period and started playing computer games with him again. See? It’s a thing of the past.

But that didn't stop you from occasionally calling him late at night in your many moments of weakness. I mean, it doesn’t really matter if you’re always met with a dial tone right? If he doesn’t pick up, it’s like you never called in the first place. The end always justifies the means. 

You don’t know why it took you so long to figure out that if you really missed him that  much, you should have probably just shot him a text instead of randomly calling him in the middle of the night. Jeno, like with school, is never prepared for anything. Even if he picked up, he’d probably just stay silent. It happened that one time he actually did pick up, both of you silent, not knowing to say in the moment (silence could also hardly be considered a phone call). 

Looking down at your most recent conversation, you sigh. Even before things became so messed up, you valued his companionship. Things are obviously still tense between you two--you don’t know why you even try.  Jaemin wouldn’t be too happy about it either. 

                                                                              ...

“It just makes me feel like shit when I hear people telling me like, ‘Oh you stole Jeno’s girl.’. You’re my girlfriend, not his.” Jaemin scoffs. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, along with his hold on your hand. 

In an attempt to soothe your angry boyfriend, you rub your thumb over your interlaced fingers soothingly. “I know, I know. I can’t help it if we have history Jaemin, people like to talk.”

“I had a talk with Renjun the other day about you and Jeno, and all the shit he was saying. I thought he was my friend.”

Although he was good friends with both boys, Renjun was admittedly closer to Jeno than Jaemin and there was more to his actions than it seemed just though looking at the surface. He was your closest mutual friend to Jeno, and knew more than anyone about the complicated relationship between you two--maybe a little too well. He respected the decision you made, but it was clear that he thought things should have ended differently.

                                                                          …

When you first see Jeno outside of the glimpses you see in the school hallway, he looks different. His hair is styled differently, with the wispy blonde hair of his hair framing his forehead quite nicely. 

Jeno’s eyes quickly flutter to the ground when you look at him, finding a sudden interest in the rocks on the ground. For a boy who treats his shoes like they’re his babies, he’s awfully unconcerned with the scuff marks that begin to appear on his Air Force Logos when he digs a rock into the ground.

“Where do you want to eat?” you ask, walking around him to open the passenger seat of his car.

Jeno looks like he regrets ever even agreeing to meet you for lunch in the first place, with his eyebrows furrowing and as indicated with the speed in which he gets in his new BMW.

“Chick-Fil-A.” He mumbles, pressing the start button on his car.

“Unbelievable. You want to go to Chick-Fil-A? ” you scoff. “We always go to Chick-Fil-A. Don’t you ever get tired of chicken?” 

Granted, it’s been months since you’ve been there together, but you at least expected some variety. There’s been a lot of buzz about the Popeyes chicken sandwiches these days. 

“No, but I get tired of you whining about my food choice when you asked for my opinion in the first place.”

And just like that, like old times, you both bicker on the car ride to Chick-Fil, this time about chicken sandwiches.

When you finally get to Chick-Fil-A, you manage to order your food without any major altercations, save a blazing glare you shoot Jeno when he says “Ranch is disgusting” when you ask for it to go with your nuggets.

As you sit down and dig into your food, you attempt to make small talk about your post high school plans. 

“University of Buffalo?” you say with a mouthful of fries. “I thought you wanted to stay in state.”

“Yeah I do. But I thought it would be smart to keep some options open” 

“Lee Jeno, keeping his options open? Being prepared?” you tease.

His cheeks flush in embarrassment, and you can’t help but admire how pretty he looks, with sunlight shining on his frame. His lashes are long, and with the way the light is hitting his face, his brown eyes are like pools of  dark honey.

Suddenly becoming hypersensitive to the boy in front of you, and you quickly change the subject. 

“How’s your cousin Jinyoung? I haven’t seen him since I last visited your aunt’s restaurant. He was nice enough to me some free dishes off the menu. I told him he needs any help with his college applications he can ask me.”

Jeno stays quiet, picking at his food as you blab about his cousin. Although you’ve only met him once when he came to visit from New York City, he was a sweet boy and you guys kept in contact. Dismissing it as part of Jeno’s natural propensity towards being quiet, you chatter on for a little while longer until you ask him, “why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Jinyoung died four months ago.” He says in a low voice, lowering his gaze to his lap.

Although there were a handful of others eating their lunch in the restaurant, you can barely process the background chatter as a small noise begins to ring in your ears. “What happened?”

“He was diagnosed with cancer, but he didn’t really tell anyone, ” he said in between sips of his drink . “he was in remission for a while but it came back really bad.”

“He has a younger sister right? It must be hitting her really hard.”

Jeno stays quiet as you fall silent, fidgeting with your fingers on the wooden table. Both of you don’t have much to say as your eyes begin to water in the middle of a Chick-Fil-A. 

Jeno places his hand over yours in comfort as he looks out the window. Life is short, and you can’t help but think how much time you have with him. 

                                                                   ...

Weeks pass, and although Jaemin isn’t exactly overjoyed about the fact that you’ve been seeing Jeno regularly again, he accepts it as what he understands it is--two friends reconciling and just hanging out, which you are eternally grateful for. The issue is that being friends with Jeno is never being just friends. You two have too much history for that. Everyday, the bottled feelings left unresolved over the years are at risk of exploding at any moment--it’s only a matter of time. 

You know you’ve got it bad when you find yourself checking your phone for his messages, or smiling at the thought of him. It’s everything--from the way he picks you up in minutes after an argument with your mom, to the way he drapes his heavy lined jean jacket over you during a particularly cold night.  No matter how hard you tried to suppress it, or how much you thought it would work, it was already over from the start. Even earlier when you two acted like strangers and the days you never even thought onnce about him, he was still in your dreams at night. But this time, Jeno is very much real, and alive in the flesh in front of you. And you don’t know if you want to admit to yourself that these feelings for Jeno are also very much real.

You finally decide to tell him when college decisions come out, after you get into your dream University. Graduation was nearing and it meant new beginnings. No matter how deeply rooted Jeno was in your heart, you needed to let go of the things that were holding you back. At least, it's what you’re telling yourself.

“Jeno...” your voice falters, “I can’t keep doing this with you..”

There’s an unspoken understanding between you two as Jeno runs his fingers through your hair to soothe you, and tells you not to cry while you cry. It’s the middle of the night when you tell him you love him. You should be home. You should be with Jaemin.

On the car ride home, Jeno stays silent.

                                                              …

Jeno calls you when you get home to check on you. When you start to cry again he stays silent for a moment.“Don’t be sad’ he murmurs. We have a lifetime to figure things out.” 

You only cry harder at his words. 

When your sniffles begin to subside, and you’re sound asleep in no time (not a surprise to Jeno, considering all the emotional turmoil you’ve faced tonight) Jeno sighs. He can’t help but feel selfish. Every time you tell him you want nothing more for him to be happy, Jeno’s moral compass can’t help but tear a little at the seams. You seem unaware that to him, happiness is being with you. But Jeno can’t have you. He knows that. They say that if you really love something, you need to let it go. But this is something he isn’t ready to let go of just yet. 

A few weeks ago when you two went out to eat, he notices that he always lets you choose the song on the way there, and what you want from the menu. 

“You know all the things we’re ordering are yours right?”

 You begin to apologize, but you’re soon distracted by the special drink menu the waiter drops on the table.

When your eyes light up at the silly lightbulb boba drink you plan to take home to  your sister, Jeno just sighs and pays for the meal. 

On the car ride home, your shared favorite songs play, and he doesn’t say a word to you. Jeno isn’t the best driver, and you vocalize that by nearly blowing his ear off when he brakes a little too fast at the red stop light. When you grab his hand for support, he lingers a little longer before he lets go. Like usual, he panders around your neighborhood when your house draws close, purposely taking the long way home. Jeno thinks about it some more when he waits for you to walk through the door of your house before driving off.  

Jeno always tells you he loves you when it’s too late. When you get your first boyfriend, he gets a girlfriend and tries to forget about you. It’s painfully obvious how he feels when he not so jokingly tells you to dump that “skinny bean pole” for him. He hates himself for taking you for granted when you broke up with said boyfriend around the time his girlfriend dumps him, telling him “I know you just aren’t happy”. For telling Renjun “Don’t worry about it, I know she loves me.” when he tried to warn him about Jaemin’s budding romance with you, even pleaded for him to make his move. It seems that everyone knows what to do with his feelings better than himself, and all he knows how to do is reap the consequences. 

He usually doesn’t have much to say. But tonight, over the phone, he tells you that he loves you. He tells you that he sees you in his future, and to him, you’re like no other. Jeno tells you that he knows you never meant to hurt him, but he’s been hurting for a while, and he can’t stand to see you with someone else.

But you’re asleep, and you can’t hear him. For the longest time, Jeno has wanted so badly to show you his whole heart. This situation you two are in  isn’t what he wants and he knows you feel the same. He wants to stop being on his Mac Demarco shit, to man up and tell you clearly how he really feels, and maybe, have you be his girlfriend, you know-- instead of messing with some other guy’s girl. 

Even through all of this, Jeno has learned a little secret about love. To love you was never about having you. 

                                                                ...

Twirling in your red dress, your arm wraps around Jaemin’s neck. It’s prom, and graduation is right around the corner.  Smiling, you think to yourself that you have finally succeeded, the end is near. Laughing, gazing, looking up at a face smiling back. But for a split second, you don’t see Jaemin’s face in front of you. You see Jeno. 

The memory of the first day, when his laugh over the phone meant something more to you. His voice brings about some of the happiest times you’ve ever known. Memories of the small moments--late nights--a soft smile--a teasing voice--the warm heat on your face in the midst of a teasing comment, and a boy with a subtle charm to find the way through.

Spontaneous trips and laughter, the occasional periods of silence when the both of you were fed up--people who understood you two, but only enough to get in the way.

The light nod of your head when it first found its way to your shoulder, and the dull feeling of yearning it left when it was gone.

You’re at a children’s playground, and you whine about wanting to fly a kite even though you’re nearly 18. Jeno teases you for being a kid, and for even trying when there was hardly any wind out. When you suggest that he run from behind and try to fly the kite with you, you scold him for the third time that it would only work if he ran slower than you. Jeno laughs and you feel your heart tug a little.

You’re devastated, and when Jaemin asks you if something is wrong, all you do is rest your face in the crook of his neck. You don’t want him to see you crying. You hate yourself for doing this to him. You’re not really a religious person, but sometimes at night, staring into the darkness and slightly trembling, you ask God to make it stop. It hurts. You don’t know how it feels for Jeno. You knew every decision you would make wouldn’t be fair to anyone. What do you do? How will you know? Will you ever know?

You don’t want to admit that might have known all along. You know you’ve known all along. To you, there is no one like Jeno. There is no one like him you’ve ever met that has made you feel this way, and if you weren’t with him, then you would spend your entire life searching in vain. You want to be with him so badly, that when you think about it, your heart grows impossibly heavy. But at the same time, you feel free. The timing is never right. You’re with the wrong people. You’re doing it all wrong. He’s doing it all wrong. We’re doing it all wrong. 

You can’t stop thinking about him in the most difficult way. When you suppress him consciously, he shows up in your dreams, smiling, glowing. Ruffled hair, eye smile and all. You can’t help but think about him every night, and when you see something that reminds you of him. Jeno reminds you of everything sad, everything hard, and at the same time, everything easy. He makes your heart feel so heavy, but also at peace. When he told you that you two had a lifetime to figure it out, you want to believe that if it was meant to be, it would happen. But that’s the hardest part. You don’t know what will happen.

Right now, you know one thing, and you know that you love him. You love him so much it brings you to tears. It makes your hands tremble, your body tremble, your heart tremble. You have such a love for Jeno that even if it wasn’t meant to be you wouldn’t care. You want Jeno to be happy. You want him to be healthy, not do stupid shit, and you want him so badly to love you too, and it would be okay if that didn’t happen. You’ve been delaying it-- you always say to yourself and everyone else you need time. You’ll sit on it, think about it, leave it for later. But it’s been months, and years, and you’re right back at the starting point.

Everytime you tried to convince yourself you weren’t in love, it felt like a dark shadow would cast over you. Because every time you tried to convince yourself you weren’t in love, you realized every bit of you knew you were.

Jeno is your best friend, part of your happiness, and he is your first real love. It’s something you can say with a certainty you’ve never had before.

                                           …

Jeno can feel his heart tear into shreds when he sees you and Jaemin so close. You look beautiful. So beautiful. You’re going away to your dream college and he’ll be many, many miles away from you. Jeno’s cheeks prickle with warmth as his eyes begin to dappen. His heart sinks, just to bobble back up with an expected disbelief. He thought he knew what was coming. 

“There are other things to do without me.” he had told you in the car that night, but the truth is, Jeno doesn’t want to do anything without you. He’s loved you since he met you, and he’s not quite sure that will ever change.

It always hurts. but that's because love isn't perfect, Jeno thinks. He may move on days from now, maybe weeks from now, and could realize he never really loved you.

If he truly loves you, it's never going to be okay, but it will get better. It will get easier. He will be able to go on. 

You might creep into his mind years from now when he finally thought he was over you.

And that's okay, that's what love is.

 It's when his memories come back to him 5 years later, when he wonders how you're doing, maybe if you think about him a little too. But it won't hurt nearly as much and he will realize all that heartbreak did something to heal him.

It's always hard, he thinks, as he walks out of the Prom venue. But he promises himself that it will always get easier.

[patandpran]

What love feels like

Pairing: Tin x Can

Summary: It really was like Tin had adopted an adorable, helpless stray dog that had just randomly wandered up to him one day.From the beginning of their friendship, to Tin wanting something more, to a re-imagining of their first kiss, Can teaches Tin what love feels like. 

Slight canon divergence from season 2, mixing bits of pieces from the canon of season 1/2.

Can was like an annoying little puppy that Tin was not sure what to do with. Tin just knew that he had to feed him regularly, keep a napkin in his pocket at all times because Can tended to messy and always be ready for a barrage of sounds to be constantly thrown his way when Can went off on one of his rants. It really was like Tin had adopted an adorable, helpless stray dog that had just randomly wandered up to him one day.

Can was quite feisty and in those hotheaded moments was when Tin thought that Can was the cutest. He looked like a little kid having a tantrum and his words would start to string together in non-sensical patterns and Tin would just nod and try to make sure Can knew he was listening. It was hard to keep the smile off of his lips in these moments because of how freaking adorable Can looked.

Tin had never met somebody so energetic, whether it was positive energy or negative energy, Can ran at full gas all the time which is likely the reason he needed to eat and rest so often: to refuel. He was like a firecracker compared to the way that Tin moved calmly and slowly through the world, in an attempt to be unnoticed. Can made such a scene wherever he went it was like he was wearing a ‘Hey, look at me!’ neon sign, even though he did not seem to care much about the attention that his antics brought him. He was just being Can.

Whether he knew it or not, Can forced his friendship on Tin in an almost violent attack. They went from being complete strangers who were at odds with each other to Can looking out for Tin’s wellbeing and forcing Tin to take him out to lunch as a reward. While they did not exactly get along at the best of times, Tin found himself quietly amused at the way Can seemed to care about him and have a shockingly strong moral base, despite how erratically he operated in every other part of his personality.

Tin also loved that Can did not give a shit about his last name or what that meant. Can, for whatever bizarre reason, seemed to truly enjoy Tin’s company and care for him in a way that was completely separate from the money that Tin had. He was not used to people treating him well unless they wanted something, either a familial connection or sometimes even money itself. Because of this, Tin had developed a cold outer shell to ward people off and built a wall of innate distrust between him and the rest of the world. He would wade through his life untouched if people didn’t even bother to approach him.

But, of course, Can had been the wrecking ball to bring that wall down in a matter of seconds. Sure, there was still still times that Tin had the instinct to build it back up again but Can always proved his suspicions wrong and any conflict between them was particular to their interactions and had nothing to do with Tin’s last name or trust fund. Every second that he spent with Can was a breath of fresh air and Tin soon became addicted to that feeling.

Tin began to go out of his way to run into Can, making excuses about his promise to Pete about checking in to see how Ae was doing so he could get away with being on the Thai Program campus. Can seemed confused by his presence at first but quickly got used to the routine of Tin ‘randomly meeting him’ after class to take him out for a meal (when Tin had actually made a point of memorizing Can’s class schedule) and ‘just happening’ to drop by after Can’s football practice with a cold bottle of water (Tin had bribed Techno with concert tickets to send him the football practice schedule). Can was always pleasantly surprised to see Tin and it quickly became their norm.

Tin had never wanted been the one to pursue friendship with anyone so the experience was completely foreign. He sometimes called Pete to ask what was appropriate and not (every time that he did, Pete asked when Tin and Can were going to make it official but Tin just laughed it off). Can was blunt and honest about everything so when Tin something out of line, like try to buy Can’s Mom and sister designer bags, Can shut that down really quick and was kind enough to explain why it was not what friends did.

Can sometimes said some pretty hurtful things to Tin when he got frustrated but would always apologize seconds later. Sometimes the damage was done, though, and Tin would throw on his armour and throw venom right back at Can. There were some pretty heated moments but Can knew how to bring Tin back down to earth, usually by making puppy dog eyes up at Tin and suggesting they go for a walk to get some air.

Tin wasn’t sure when things changed between them but Tin found himself wondering if Can would start to annoyed by him. They texted all day, usually met up at some point before or after classes in person and made a point of talking on the phone before either of them went to bed. Tin attended each of Can’s football games, to the point where Techno and Champ started teasing Can that Tin was his ‘cheerleader with no cheer in him’. Can always laughed off their jokes and made a point of thanking Tin for coming to the games to support him. This always did something funny to Tin’s chest, making his heart feeling it was going to leap right out of his ribcage.

One time, over a meal, Tin found himself staring at Can’s lips for an extended period of time. They were so pink and soft and Tin just couldn’t keep his gaze off of them, even though Can was in the middle of some rantfest as usual. It took a few minutes for Can to notice where Tin was looking and he asked if there was something on his lips. Tin felt his cheeks grow hot and muttered an excuse before shoving a napkin in Can’s face. Can didn’t react further after wiping his lips and launched right back into the story as if nothing was amiss. Tin, on the other hand, was still consumed with the urge to look back at Can’s lips and the bright idea of how pleasant it would be to press his own lips against Can’s.

After this interaction, Tin tried to put some distance between himself and Can. It didn’t seem fair to Can for Tin to force his feelings on him and, to be honest, Tin started to wonder how long he had felt this way when Can clearly just wanted friendship from Tin. It felt wrong for Tin to keep being around Can when he wanted much more than just platonic companionship. The worst part was that Tin didn’t want to ruin the best friendship he had ever had just because his stupid feelings were getting in the way.

Tin had given a valiant effort to avoiding Can and letting Can have some space but because of their established routine, Can probably thought Tin was backing away from their friendship entirely rather than just trying to pull the reins in a bit. Tin felt like he was being tortured when he was around Can because all he wanted to do was reach out and slips his hand into Can’s - but that’s not what friends did. But then the texts and calls started coming in at alarming rate and Tin couldn’t just ignore Can, could he?

“Hellooooooo. I’m hungry. I thought we were going to meet up for lunch today. And by meet up, I meant I thought you were going to buy me lunch today.”

“Tin. I didn’t see you at all yesterday or today. Who am I supposed to tease if I can’t tease you? I miss your dumb face. Call me.”

“…. Did I do something wrong? I am trying to think back over what happened the last time we hung out and I can’t think of anything in particular… Is there something going on with your family? Is your brother being an asshole to you again? I will come beat him up for you. Just let me know when and where.”

“Tin… I am sorry for whatever I did. I hope that we can still be friends because… as much as I hate to admit it, I really care about you and even though we’ve only known each for a few months, I think you’re one of my best friends. I just… please call me.”

Listening to the voicemails and reading the texts that came in during their time apart made Tin feel ill wit guilt. He owed Can an explanation and with how open and honest Can had been with him throughout their friendship, Tin owed Can the truth, even if it meant the end of their friendship. It seemed like a risk worth taking.

“Meet me at the football field.”

Tin knew that Can would be getting out go class soon, as long as he actually attended his lecture (which Can often didn’t) but Tin hoped that today would be the exception to the rule. Once he stepped onto the turf of the field, he felt his heart begin to race at a million miles an hour. How could he possibly put into words how he felt about Can? This was particularly a challenge for someone who didn’t use many words in the first place.

“Tin?”

Tin tensed as soon as he heard Can’s voice but was relieved to hear it as well. It had been painful to be away from Can and as Tin turned to face Can, he felt himself relax entirely knowing that Can was only a few feet away from him. Can looked exhausted and his eyes looked a bit weepy, as if he had not been sleeping well or he had cried recently.

Immediately, Tin approached Can and put his hand under Can’s chin, gently tilting Can’s face to closer inspect him. The worry that spread through Tin, seeing Can look so unlike himself, once again confirmed exactly how he felt about his friend. “Can, are you okay?”

“I… I missed you.” Can began to blubber, his eyes filling with tears. Tin was once again reminded about how vulnerable and sensitive Can was and felt guilty for ever ignoring him. Can continued as Tin wiped his tears from under his eyes, “Why did you disappear like that?”

“I’m sorry.” Tin responded, feeling as if his heart was being torn to pieces right then and there. “I didn’t realize it was going to upset you this much. It won’t happen again…. unless you don’t want to see me after what I’m going to tell you.”

Can pressed his head against Tin’s chest and wrapped his arms around Tin, pulling him into a tight hug. “What could you ever say that would make me not want to see you? That’s ridiculous.”

“I was scared of how you would react so I tried to give you some space so I could sort through things in my head.” Tin gently pulled away from the hug so that he could look into Can’s eyes again but kept his arms wound around Can. Can looked up at Tin with confusion so Tin continued, “I… I have feelings for you.”

“Feelings?” Can repeated and Tin was reminded of just how naive Can was. “I mean, I have feelings too, I’m crying right now! I know you have a hard time being open about your emotions but surely you can trust me enough to be open with how you feel.”

“Can.” Tin grumbled, wishing that Can was a better listener. “I have feelings FOR YOU. As in, I like you…”

“I mean, of course, you like me.” Can beamed up at Tin. “We’re friends.”

“I don’t know how to make this any clearer.” Tin groaned in frustration. “I guess I’ll just have to

show you what I mean if saying it doesn’t make sense to you.”

Before Can could utter another question, Tin kissed him. The kiss was gentle and exploratory, and Tin hoped that it wouldn’t change everything between he and Can. He wanted to make up for the pain he had caused his friend and wanted to share with Can just how important he was to Tin. Shockingly, Can did not pull away from the kiss but remained still for a few moments and Tin’s heart hammered immensely against his chest, wondering what could possibly be going through Can’s mind.

Tin slowly pushed away and separated from Can. Can’s eyes were still closed but Tin watched as Can’s eyes slowly opened and revealed that a look of pure fascination was reflected in them. Tin smirked slightly and murmured, “Does that make things any clearer?”

“It still doesn’t explain why you were avoiding me.” Can was clearly still processing what had happened but a flash of pain appeared on his face and his gaze dropped to their shoes. “You didn’t want to hang out with me because you want to kiss me?”

Tin chuckled slightly at Can’s blunt thought process. “I suppose you could put it like that.”

“Why does everything have to be so complicated?” Can answered defiantly and looked back to Tin with a pout on his mouth. It took everything for Tin not to kiss Can again right then and there.  Can continued, “If I’m hungry, I eat. If I’m tired, I sleep. If you are mad at me, we talk about it. If you want to kiss me, kiss me.”

“It’s a lot easier said then done.” Tin shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling a bit embarrassed by the conversation. “Plus, do you even like me back?”

“I’ve never wanted to spend so much time with someone. Whenever I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you and when you stopped coming to see me, I felt like I was going to lose it.” Can expressed urgently, the words practically tumbling out of his mouth before his lips could even form them. “I don’t know what love is because I have never experienced it but, if I had to make an educated guess, even though I’m not that educated, I think this is what love feels like.”

Tin’s jaw fell slightly slack as Can stated everything he was experiencing with such matter of factness, especially when Can said the word ‘love’ so casually. Nothing about this felt casual to Tin and the fact that Can was reciprocating the feelings that Tin had been so terrified to share with Can in the first place was a whole other piece of information for Tin to have to process. As usual, Tin felt overwhelmed while Can just looked happy to be once again sharing space with Tin.

“You are very smart, Can.” Tin shared and brought his hand up to ruffle Can’s hair fondly but Can dodged it easily. Tin rolled his eyes, “So I can kiss you without warning but I’m not allowed to play with your hair?”

“I am a man, not a puppy. I prefer kisses to being pet, thank you very much.” Can explained before putting his hands stubbornly on his hips.

Of course, this only made him look even more adorable so Tin swept in and dropped a quick peck on Can’s lips. After the kiss, Tin rested his forehead lightly on Can’s forehead and murmured, “I think you’re right.”

“Right about what?” Can wondered, staring up at Can through his eyelashes.

Tin smiled, “This is definitely what love feels like.”

[yoonia]

About Time // Part 15

Character: Jungkook x reader / Jimin x reader (feat. BTS)

↳ Type/Genre/words: Angst, Fluff, Alternate Universe (Time Travel!au/Time Leap!au, Soulmate!au), PG rated / 7,300 words

↳ Prompts: “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

↳ Summary: Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

↳ Warnings: Mentions of cancer, (probably) inaccurate medical and law terms

↳ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Series Index: About Time | Next Chapter ⇢

—First life. St. Vincent’s Hospital, year 2027—

I shouldn’t have taken it lightly when they warned me about it.

The scans, the blood tests, the physical examination, most of them I could handle. Until it came the time for them to lay me down and put a massive needle right through my spine to take a piece of a membrane from the growing monster inside me.

“Baby, it’s okay,” Jimin held my trembling hands with one of his while he uses the other to brush my dampened hair away from my face, where my sweat and tears came together as I tried to hold back the pain. “Look at me, baby. Just a little while longer. Take a deep breath and keep your eyes on me.”

I kept my eyes on Jimin as I felt as if they were sucking the life out of me. And I was relieved that he was there, for his eyes were hypnotising me enough to make me feel as if the pain was somewhere far away.

It was quite unusual for the hospital to allow someone other than an immediate family or a member of the doctor’s team to be there while they were doing these tests. But I was so frightened about the test that I had a major panic attack about it and I was also feeling terribly exhausted after going through a bunch of tests running the whole day that I was practically crying and begging for them to let me take a break. That was when Jimin came into the room and offered to help.

“Let me be there so she won’t freak out. I won’t interrupt, I promise,” he said then, basically pleading for them to let him in, before Dr. Kim finally gave in and gave him permission to enter the room.

An excruciating pain struck me so badly as I felt them pulling the needle out that I cried out and Jimin pressed his lips on my forehead, completely ignoring the fact that I was sweating buckets when he did. “You did good, love. It’s over now,” he whispered to me.

I looked up to him through my tears and tried to speak, though I could barely get my voice out while I kept sobbing as the pain was still too much for me to handle. “It hurts,” I cried with a whisper.

Jimin nodded his head knowingly. He was smiling at me as a way to encourage me, but his gaze was filled with sadness and pain, as if seeing me hurt had caused him just the same amount of pain. “You are brave, baby. You got through it good,” he said while kissing my tears away. “Just close your eyes and focus on my voice while the nurse is finishing up. I’m not going anywhere.”

He gave me a chaste kiss on my lips and my sobs slowly came to halt. The pain still lingered even once the doctor and his team had finished his job. I could hear his voice complementing me while letting me know that it was over and I could feel it when he cleaned my wound and patched me up before he left. But all I ever wanted to focus on was Jimin’s voice as he kept whispering sweet things to me and on the way he was holding my hands tight to let me know that I was not alone.

His presence was my cure and it was then when I finally realised that he had become the rock that kept me together. When I felt his lips on mine as I closed my eyes, I knew then that I could face and conquer anything as long as I had him with me, for it was the love I felt and the compassion I saw in his eyes that became the only things keeping me alive.

Jimin joined me in my bed that night.

We were lying on our sides and facing each other, talking about all the pointless things in life to get my mind away from the throbbing pain on my back, when he reached out, brushing his fingers gently across my cheek.

“You are so beautiful,” he suddenly whispered. I was caught off guard that I fell silent for a moment, before I started laughing. I could not believe that he would randomly say such a sweet thing right in the middle of mint chocolate versus cookie dough ice cream flavour discourse we were having.

“That was so random,” I whispered back. The goofy smile on my face refused to stay clear that I had to hide it by pressing my face down on my pillows.

“It just came to my mind,” he said, chuckling while he tilted my chin up so I could look at him again. He grazed his thumb gently across my lips before replacing it with a kiss. “I want to fall asleep watching your face and listening to your voice, then wake up to see this face and this smile again the next morning.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you’re getting sleepy?” I teased him, while he only smiled at me.

“Aren’t you the one who is supposed to be asleep?” he asked me. “I can tell that you’re forcing yourself to keep your eyes open. You must be tired after the long day you’ve had.”

I took his hand and started kissing his knuckles. “I am really tired. But I’m too scared to sleep.”

Jimin furrowed his brows as he looked at me. “Why?”

Shrugging, I could only tell him the truth. Or at least, half of it. “I feel calm when I’m with you. I don’t want to wake up to find you gone.”

As I looked into his eyes, all of the things I was so afraid of, all of my fears came to mind.

The truth was, I was too afraid to sleep because I had feared that I would not wake up the next morning. Or that I would wake up, only to find out that everything around me had disappeared.

Would it be wrong of me to feel as if all of this might fade away? I kept feeling as if he would disappear from my sight anytime I looked away and I refused to have that. It had been so long for me to feel like this. To feel something so intense that I just wanted to grab him tight and not let go before he could fade away.

Jimin reached out, cupping my cheek with his palm to bring me back to him and not lose myself in my thoughts. His lips tilted up to a small smile when he promised me, “I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll never leave you, ______. Not unless you want me to.”

“Promise?”

His smile didn’t change, but his gaze did. There was something in his eyes that told me how scared he was to make that promise. Instead of giving me an answer, he leaned closer and kissed my lips gently, giving me his silent answer that I could hold on to instead of his words.

“Go to sleep and get some rest. I’ll hold you and wake you up when morning comes.”

That night, as I fell asleep in his arms, I had a long, dreamless sleep for the first time in my life. And it felt wonderful.

“Is it going to be like this every time this happens?”

It was the day after and Jimin had once again found his spot at the edge of my bed while we had our lunch. He kept his promise to be there when I woke up this morning, his misty eyes greeted me warmly when I opened mine. Then he insisted to give me his morning kisses no matter how hard I tried to fight him against it.

The only time he left was early in the day when I had to be cleaned up and checked by the nurses and he had to return to his bedroom for his own morning routines. The nurse who helped me bathe had joked about us sharing a room together in the future to make it easier for us but I brushed it off by saying that I needed my privacy.

That was until I started missing him so badly when morning past to noon and I nearly leapt out of my bed and into his arms when he walked into my room to keep me company at lunch.

I had sworn that I felt extremely famished before my meal arrived. But now, I was suddenly having trouble to eat or to swallow anything more than two spoonfuls of my meal. I was still exhausted and drowsy from the excessive hours of treatment I got yesterday and from the medications I got this morning that all I wanted to do was to lie down and close my eyes, instead of pushing down anything past my bitter tongue that could barely taste anything at all.

Jimin reached out and placed his hand on my knee just as I dropped my spoon. He patiently smiled at me when he answered me, “It comes and goes. Sometimes you’ll be able to eat everything that they give to you, but there will be times when your body refuses all the food and drinks no matter how much you used to enjoy them.”

I remembered when I first started the treatment and my medications would make me so nauseated that my body would refuse to take in anything at all. When I first questioned the nurses about it, the only warning I got was how things would grow more intense as I continued the treatment. It was expected that my body would react this way, yet it certainly did not feel good when it was finally happening.

My eyes fell on Jimin’s plate and noticed that he was also having trouble to take in more food. But he was pushing through it. Nibbling small portions of food each time he ate until the last bit of his meal.

“How do you get through it?” I asked him, wondering how he managed to do it when he had been taking these treatments and had been here to endure everything much longer than I had.

“I have found my own tricks to be able to eat,” he said, passing me a small cup of his pudding when he knew I wouldn’t be able to finish up the rest of my meal. “Soft textured food, like pudding and cakes, or anything sweet can trigger my taste bud and bring my appetite back when everything else tastes too bitter. Fruits and milkshakes help a lot too. And it’s always a good idea to have some light snacks in between to keep your stomach filled even when you can’t swallow your meal.”

As I took a few small spoons of the sweet pudding he gave me, I found that he was right. I had no problem in taking it in, even if I could only take a few small bites of them at a time. I took a mental note to make a grocery list for Hoseok to get for me once he would return to accompany me at the hospital.

Jimin must have noticed something on my face that had him grown wary, because he suddenly reached out just as I froze up, completely lost in my own thoughts for a moment that I stopped eating.

“Hey, I have an idea,” he said, brushing his thumb across my knee until he finally grabbed my attention.

His smile lit up while his eyes were glowing with excitement when he suddenly suggested, “Why don’t you finish up, and then we can watch some movies and nap for a while. Then later, if you’re feeling good enough to go out, I can take you somewhere so we can watch the sunset together.”

“Sunset?” I immediately perked up to the idea, yet I could not imagine how he would manage to show it to me while we were both stuck inside this hospital, which was surrounded by other tall buildings not too far from us instead of a beach or an open field. “How?”

“That’s a secret. Try to eat as much as you can and I’ll reward you with a little fun trip before I let you rest.”

Jimin was so secretive about it that I was half expecting him to blindfold me before he moved me into my wheelchair and started wheeling me away from my bedroom.

He seemed to know the way as he guided us both with ease through the hallways of our floor, snatched an empty elevator leading up, then found his way up, all the way to the rooftop.

“You are fucking unbelievable,” I mused at him as he pushed me out the door then led me to one small corner which he called as a ‘viewing port’, not too far from the hospital’s massive helipad and locked my wheelchair where he knew it would be safe for me to take a good look over the horizon. “How on earth did you find your way here?”

Jimin only chuckled. “The older men from our treatment group took me here during the first week I was treated. They did it to entertain me because they noticed I was looking down and lonely. Said one of them was carried to this hospital with a helicopter and he remembered how pretty the sky was when he arrived here. He used to come up here to watch the view whenever he was lonely before he started to bring the others with him,” Jimin explained as he spread a lap blanket over my legs to keep me warm, before spreading a different blanket on the concrete bed right beside me so he could sit down and join me watch the scenery.

“We can still see the sun coming down through the massive windows along the hallways on the top floor, but I really think that this is better,” he said while looking up to me with a sly grin. “An open air might do good for us too. We’ve been cooped up in our rooms for so long I’m starting to forget what if feels like to be outside. How the temperature changes as the sun sets or how the air out here feels like.”

“It’s still the same. The same polluted city air,” I mused after taking a long deep breath, the smile on my face was unstoppable as I breathed in the open air which contained none of those sickly scents from inside the hospital.

I heard Jimin chuckling beside me as he reached my hand, entwining our fingers together while we kept our eyes on the indigo coloured sky. “Yeah, don’t you miss it?”

Tightening my grip on his hand, I smiled at him, meeting his gleeful eyes before I went back to glancing at the sky before us. “I’ve missed it a whole lot.”

Silence fell between us right after, as we watched the sky changing shades with a mix of red and tangerine streaks of lights dancing together, before it grew into a dark, indigo blue coloured sky as the sun continued to descend and darkness slowly took over. Jimin kept his hand on mine as we marvelled on the beautiful sight, a complete contrast to the white walls and ceilings that had been surrounding us for the past week. As we sat there, letting the darkness engulfed us for a moment before all the lights on the rooftop came to life, I felt warmth and peace for the first time in my life. And when my eyes fell into our entwined hands, for the first time after such a long time, I no longer felt so lonely or lost.

The little trip to the rooftop we made to watch the sun descending between the concrete buildings had made me grow tired that I dozed off right after. When I woke up again, it was already nightfall yet the sky seemed to have only turned dark not too long ago before I opened my eyes.

I was instantly engulfed by everything that was a part of Jimin the moment my senses came to wake — the silky soft bedspread that he used on his bed, the wonderful scent of his sweet cologne which took over the room against the scent of antibiotics and anti-bacterial products, and Jimin himself, who was dozing off right beside me, lying on his back while his hand was resting over his chest.

I could not remember how I had managed to fall asleep on his bed or how we managed to end up in his bedroom, but his warmth and soft breaths had put me at ease that I settled back down against him. If there was something I could immediately notice from being in Jimin’s arms, was that I felt like I was at peace and that his presence felt like home.

Moving slightly to get more comfortable by his side, I placed a hand on his chest and had my head resting on his shoulder. I could hear his heartbeat and soft breathing beneath me, lulling me back to sleep.

“You should wake up and go back to your room, love,” he suddenly whispered. I felt his lips on my forehead, brushing gently against my skin when he spoke.

I opened my eyes to meet his sleepy ones and pouted. “Don’t you want me here?”

Jimin chuckled softly and shook his head. “I do want you here, more than anything. But it’s your brother’s turn to keep you company for the night,” he reminded me with a sly grin, before he reminded me of what had happened the other day. “You practically kicked him out of the bedroom the other night even when you knew that he was so worried about you. He would hate me if you choose me over him again tonight.”

Sighing, I rested my head back on his shoulder, wishing that I could just go back to sleep instead. “He’ll probably get angry and sulk for a while, but I’m not sure about hating,” I murmured against his shirt. “But you’re right. I should go back. I’m probably smothering you because I keep bothering you and not give you a proper time to sleep.”

He brushed my hair gently with his cold fingers. “I’ve slept and rested enough, don’t you worry. You help me relax whenever you are close, so I don’t really mind to have you around,” he said, tilting my chin up to let me read all the sincerity in his eyes to know how much he had meant what he said.

The moment I saw his eyes, the urge to keep him close and to hold him tight grew much stronger inside me that I pulled him down to me. Neither of us said anything as our lips met each other, and every word we wanted to say to one another was replaced with a kiss. A very long, deep, and needy kiss to last us the whole night without each other.

It took me quite a long while before I could peel myself off of him. Then, not only did he help me settle down on my wheelchair, he had insisted to wheel me out and take me all the way back to my room.

“You don’t have to escort me all the way back too, Jimin. I could’ve asked the nurse to do this for me,” I protested as we finally came to my bedroom and found him sweating a little thanks to the little journey we had to take.

“I wanted to,” he said to me with a smile. “A little exercise before bed would be good for me. I also want to kiss you goodnight and tuck you to sleep. Don’t you want that?”

Of course, I wanted it.

But I chose to tease him a little by rolling my eyes. “Suit yourself,” I playfully scoffed at him. In return, Jimin scooped me out of the wheelchair and helped me lie down on my bed. Watching him carry me in his arms worried me a little, but his playfulness was still there as he tucked me under the blanket and he was showing not even an ounce of pain or any trouble in carrying my weight.

“Good night, love. I hope your dreams tonight will be beautiful,” he whispered to me while pressing his lips at my temple.

“Thanks to you, I know they will be.”

With my arms wrapped around him, I pulled him down to me so I could kiss his lips. Our kiss lingered, starting gently before it grew deeper when he fell over me. I was so lost in the kiss, lost in his touches, and was feeling as if I was flying high in the sky with how completed I felt and how much he made me feel so secure, as if I was coming home in his arms.

Our lips moulded to one another, our tongue entangled in the cavern of his mouth, and our hands entwined together as he held me close. We became so lost in our love, in the comfort of our warmth as our body were pressed against each other, that the world around us no longer mattered.

We couldn’t care if the earth around us would stop spinning, if the time would stop, and we definitely did not notice the presence of a man standing in the doorway. Neither of us realised that there was a pair of eyes watching us closely, rage radiating off of his gaze as he watched the woman he married years ago kissing and embracing another man right before his eyes.

It happened so fast.

One minute, I was lost in Jimin’s tender kiss. His warmth was the only thing I could feel and I was close to falling asleep in the comfort of his embrace. Then suddenly, he was yanked away from me. It was so rough and abrupt that I was pulled along with him. Even the air inside my chest was pulled away until everything around me started spinning.

It took me a few seconds to realise what was happening, before I finally recognised the voice yelling out with pure anger and noticed him.

“Who the fuck are you? What are you doing to my wife?”

I was frozen stiff, still in shock and in fear of what I was seeing. Jungkook’s face held so much rage which I had never once seen before as he came face to face with Jimin, glaring with hatred and pain in his eyes. He had his hand clutched at the front of Jimin’s shirt, pulling my best friend and lover’s body up to his chest as he kept yelling to his face.

Once I recovered from my shock, I looked down on his other hand and found it clenching at his side, as if he was trying so hard to hold back from pounding at Jimin’s face.

“Jungkook, don’t!” I screamed at him. My heartbeat was racing, and I tried to push myself off of the bed to stop him from hurting Jimin. But there was nothing I could do when my body failed me. All I could do was move an inch before my body fell sideways, too weak to rush to his side and tear them apart. “Jungkook, please—you’ll hurt him!”

Jungkook seemed surprised when he heard my voice. Either his rage had him nearly forgetting that I was there, or that he had never expected to have me defending someone else but him, he just fell silent. The rage in his eyes instantly turned into an icy glare to whatever he was seeing on my face when he looked at me.

Yet what caught us both by surprise was Jimin, when his eyes showed no fear even as he met Jungkook’s gaze, nor was he trembling as Jungkook held him in arm’s reach, with his fist ready to blow a punch to his face.

“So you’re the ex-husband?” Jimin asked him, chuckling softly while his eyes held a weird, gloomy mood as he gave a look of perusal at Jungkook. “Didn’t think you would be back so soon. Or so late.”

There was a glint of shock and insecurities in Jungkook’s eyes for a moment to what Jimin had said to him, and I could easily tell what his word implied. As if Jimin was having a blast at taunting my ex-husband, he only continued by saying, “Visiting hours are over. You shouldn’t be here, you know. Don’t want the security to catch you and kick you out of the hospital now, do we? Because unlike me, you are not allowed to be here and you are definitely not wanted.”

Jungkook’s hands tightened even further as the fire in his eyes rose to the surface and I instantly screamed, “Jungkook, please!”

But it was too late. Especially when the only thing Jungkook could hear was Jimin’s voice when he taunted my ex-husband once again with, “Why don’t you go run along and go back to where you came from so I can tuck her to sleep? That’s what I’ve been doing anyway, tucking her to bed while you’re out there fucking up your marriage.”

Nothing could stop what happened right after, when Jungkook finally threw a punch right at Jimin’s face before shoving him against the wall where Jungkook kept a chokehold around Jimin’s neck with his strong arm.

The only thing I could do was watch the scene unraveling through my tears and screamed for him to stop while crying for help. Thankfully, that was when help came, right before Jungkook could do any further damage. Hoseok came bursting through the door along with a couple of nurses following right behind, all with clear shock on their faces.

“What is going on?”

“Oh my God—call the security!”

“Sir, you need to stop!”

“Jungkook, what the fuck? Let him go!”

I heard my brother’s voice coming at last and I felt relieved for having him here. He saw the distress on my face and rushed to Jungkook while the nurses kept yelling at Jungkook and another rushed out to call the security.

As if he just snapped out of it, Jungkook finally released Jimin and his eyebrows furrowed deep when his eyes found me, shaking with fear on the edge of my bed while tears came running down my face. But I never bothered to look at him. I kept my eyes on Jimin as he toppled over, wrapping his palm around his neck and had one of his arms around his abdomen while he was coughing out blood.

“Jimin, no—” I cried for him, reaching out to grab him and hating myself for not being able to reach him or touch him. I felt completely powerless when I could not move and even more so when I could see that Jimin was in pain and I could do nothing about it when I was the reason why he was hurting.

“______,” Jungkook called my name before I felt his hands on me, trying to help me up while he was begging for me to look at him and look away from Jimin who was now on the floor. I could not see where Jimin was hurting or how much in pain he was by being too far, and I grew even more restless on every second of not knowing if he was okay.

“No!” I pushed Jungkook away as he grabbed my upper arms and pulled me to him. I finally turned to him. But the only thing I did was to scream at his face, “What have you done? You hurt him!”

Jungkook fell back a step and let me go when Hoseok pulled him away. With Jungkook out of the way, one of the nurses came rushing to Jimin, helping him up while the other went to help me to sit straight up on the bed. As I was settling down on my pillows, Jimin refused the nurse’s help and rushed to my side. I was a complete sobbing mess at this point, and it became worse when I finally saw the damage — his bruising cheek that may turn blue or black in the morning, the small cut at the corner of his lips, the drying blood on the back of his hand which he had gotten when he wiped his lips and the bloodstain which he had coughed up on his shirt.

“No, no, no—Jimin,” I cried and cried as I clutched my hands on his shirt. I felt powerless and angry at myself for letting him get hurt.

“Hey—” Jimin whispered to me as he cupped my face with his trembling hands. His eyes were misty and I could sense how badly he was trying to mask his pain when he forced a smile, hiding them away from me when he gently whispered, “Sshh, baby—I’m okay, love. Look at me, I’m fine.” He caught my chin, forcing me to look up before he leaned to me, completely disregarding the other people around us as he kissed my tears away.

I sensed people moving and heard some shuffling as I closed my eyes, enjoying the way Jimin was calming me down before I reached and wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me. The nurses started to leave, stopping briefly at Hoseok’s side to whisper something to him. I didn’t bother to look. All I could hear was his calm voice reassuring them, “I got this,” before the nurses walked out the door.

Another movement was made, and I could tell that it was possibly Jungkook trying to reach for me without even looking. But Hoseok must have stopped him when I heard him speak, “You need to leave. They’re calling security.”

“I just—” Jungkook’s voice came out deflated, as if his rage and all of his spirit were gone. “I just wanted to see her.”

“I know,” Hoseok told him. “But you’re only giving her stress and she needs to rest. Come back tomorrow. Just—leave before she decides she doesn’t want to see you.”

Nobody made another move for a brief moment, until I heard him call my name.

“_______?” Jungkook called me, sounding unsure about it before stopping himself when I tightened my arms around Jimin, shaking my head against his chest as I refused to look at my ex-husband or my brother. I could feel Jimin moving in my arms, turning us around a little to hide me away from Jungkook’s eyes.

I could vaguely guess that he might have looked over to Jungkook, challenging him somehow, because the next thing I heard was Jungkook’s voice, turning ice-cold and determined when he spoke, “Alright, I’ll come back tomorrow.”

Hard footsteps were heard leaving the room which I recognised as Jungkook’s, but I still kept my eyes closed, still kept my face buried in Jimin’s chest where I could hear his heartbeat slowly settling down to a steady pace. For some reason, I could feel my world and my hope crumbling to pieces, and Jimin was the last thread that was holding everything together, even if I could already feel it coming close to snapping apart.

After years of having him breaking his promises, Jungkook did return the next day as promised, right when the morning visitation hours had just started.

Hoseok had stayed for the night and he had just finished cleaning up what was remained of my breakfast. It was still early for Jimin to be here. And though I resented the fact that he would need the extra hours of resting in his room this morning that I would not be able to see him until the end of today, especially after what had happened last night, I was relieved that he was not present when Jungkook arrived. Even Jungkook had taken a brief moment to look around when he came into the room, as if he was searching for him, and was visibly relieved to see that Hoseok was the only person there.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook asked me, looking nervous when he spoke. The bags under his eyes were dark and deep, and it made me wonder if he also had trouble resting last night after the chaos he had created. I dreaded the thought of smelling any scent of liquor if he had gotten too close, since I knew he would always reserve to drinking whenever he got restless.

“Then talk,” was all I said to him, keeping my back resting against the pillows and my hands crossed on my lap.

Jungkook looked over between me and Hoseok who was now sitting next to the bed. “I was hoping that we can talk alone,” Jungkook added, yet he kept his eyes on Hoseok, as if he intended to say those words to my brother so he could leave.

“I don’t think—” Hoseok started to refuse, but I stopped him from finishing his sentence.

“That’s alright,” I told my brother, to which he turned to me with a concerned look on his face.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “I should listen to what he has to say. Besides, you have to return those to the nurses, don’t you?” I pointed at the tray and the half-empty plates he had set down on the bedside table and smiled to him. “And you haven’t had your breakfast and coffee yet. You should take a break for a few minutes. It’ll be fine.”

I could tell that my brother was not completely sure about leaving me alone with Jungkook, but I reached out to grab his hand and squeezed.

“Fine,” he finally said, sighing in defeat before his eyes glared at my ex-husband. “Don’t stress her out,” he said to Jungkook, then turned to me. “Call if you need anything. I’m leaving your cellphone beside the bed.”

Neither of us spoke a word after Hoseok left me and Jungkook alone in the room.

Jungkook had taken the empty chair Hoseok left behind and sat down on it. He had come in bearing gifts — a bouquet of flowers which was now resting on the bedside table, a small polar bear plushie which was now resting on my lap, and a small basket of fruits.

“This is—really nice of you,” I finally spoke once the silence and the tension around us became unbearable. My fingers were nervously pulling the soft fur on the polar bear’s tummy just so I could stop myself from feeling so tense around him. “Thank you. For the gifts, I mean.”

Jungkook nodded but kept his eyes on the bear. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry—” he started to speak, clearing his throat a little when his voice came out shaky, “—about last night. I, uh—perhaps I overreacted. I only came to see you, but then I saw you with—”

He stopped and clenched his jaw. I could not say a word and chose to wait until he continued to speak. I did promise to listen, after all. But then he only exhaled a deep breath and pointed at the bear in my hands. “I heard it can be lonely at night here. I know Hoseok stays the night with you but I figured the bear would be nice for you to keep, just in case you need something to hold on to.”

I chose not to correct him and tell him that either Yoongi or Jimin would take my brother’s place once in a while to keep me from feeling lonely, but I kept my mouth shut and gave him a smile instead. His words had also snapped something inside me that brought me back to the past, to remind me how often he would do this to me when we were still together, how he would come to me with small gifts just to surprise me and make me smile whenever he would notice me having a bad day.

That time in the past now seemed so long ago. For he had ruined those small, beautiful moments with all the painful ones. I looked down, shaking my head just to clear my mind out of it.

“Thank you. He’s really cute,” I told him while waving the polar bear’s hand at him. That had brought Jungkook’s lips to curl up into a smile and I could feel the tension between us slowly breaking down.

“I’m glad you like him,” he said, sighing in relief and smiling to me before asking, “How are you doing?”

Shrugging, I looked down on my lap as I answered, “I’m fine, but that’s only because you caught me on one of my good days. I got my bad days just as much as my good ones, so consider yourself lucky.”

Jungkook furrowed his brows. “What—what are your bad days like?”

Licking my dry lips, I began to answer cautiously, “Waking up with nauseous, drowsiness, or oftentimes, fever. Sometimes my skin will feel sensitive to any kind of touches while my tongue can barely taste anything and my throat will be in too much pain for me to swallow any food or water. Pain happening everywhere that I won’t even know where they begin and where they end. I’d sleep more than I am awake, then I’d wake up with my pillow filled with hair—” I stopped then and reached the top of my head, suddenly feeling self-conscious about myself and the fact that my hair had been thinning drastically after my last treatment.

Jungkook had placed his hands on the edge of my bed and he clenched them tightly. In fact, every single inch of his body was tense. His jaw ticked as his eyes followed the movement of my hand as I ran it up and down my thin hair. “Was that the reason why you cut your hair short?”

My hand stopped and I clutched the polar bear plushie on my lap with my hands. “I already started chemotherapy when I came by the house last time.” I closed my eyes as the memory from that day came back to me — the last time I lied on our bed with him, side by side, before he finally let me walk out the door. The reason why he came back and started acting this way was completely lost to me, when he had vowed to let me go and allow me to move on.

When I opened my eyes again, Jungkook still had his eyes closed shut. “What was it yesterday?”

I looked up to him and tried to read his expression just as he opened my eyes to me. But he showed me nothing as he waited for my answer.

“A little bit of both, I guess?” I finally answered him. “I just had a few test runs and 12-hours chemo the day before which gave me terrible exhaustion and pain. I was grateful I escaped the fever coming to me the next morning, but the pain was so surreal that I had to rest for the entire day. You came just as I had returned from a little tour Jimin gave me to get my mind out of the pain,” I explained to him, leaving out the fact that his first visit to my room was the first thing which had led me into that long, painful day.

A sudden change of mood trickled in the air and his expression hardened. His eyes turned ice cold all of a sudden, which threw me completely off guard. But before I could even question it, I quickly realised that I had mentioned his name.

“Jimin, hmm?” Jungkook questioned me with his hands clutched tighter. I could feel his rage coming while my anxiety rose up high. “Is he your new boyfriend? Was he the reason why you asked for a divorce? So you can be free to make out with him while you’re here in the hospital?”

How dare he, I cursed silently. I could not believe that he would think so low of me, or to accuse Jimin of anything so low. He knew exactly the reason why I wanted a divorce. I should have known that he would always turn the table and put the blame on me.

“You know the reason why I asked for the divorce, Jungkook. You knew and you agreed,” I said to him. I was seething with anger but I held myself back the best I could. I would not let him ruin my good day. Not again. “You can’t come here, asking for a chance to see me only to talk to me this way. What I do or don’t do while I’m in this hospital really is none of your business, Jungkook. Not anymore!”

“It is my business. It still is!” He suddenly burst into anger and pushed himself off the chair. He leaned over me to intimidate me with his dark gaze. He opened his mouth to speak but quickly snapped out of it. As if he just remembered Hoseok’s warning earlier, his eyes snapped wide open and he pulled back.

Yet the anger in his eyes remained.

With his hands clenched on his side, Jungkook stood by the window and spoke to me with a low voice, “I made my mistakes and I admit every single one of them. I will spend the rest of my life making things right for you, to tell you—no, to show you that I am sorry, that I truly, deeply regretted everything I have done to hurt you and all the things I did to ruin us. But my biggest mistake was to let you walk away, to let you leave. I am not going to make that mistake again, ______. I am not going to just sit down and do nothing as you fall into another man’s arms.”

As Jungkook kept talking, the intensity in his voice grew just as fast as his anger was rising. His whole body was shaking as he held back from reaching out to me, while his chest kept heaving, as he kept breathing quick and shallow to hold back that rage and jealousy he had even if I could see everything through his eyes.

He kept his eyes on me, locking me in place with his penetrating gaze when he continued without giving me a chance to speak, “I will spend the rest of my life begging for your forgiveness, for breaking your heart and for violating our marriage. But I really think you should know by now that if you carry on whatever it is you have with him, then you’ll be no different than me.”

I had been completely speechless and in shock to his rants, but his final statement was the one that surprised me the most. My heartbeat kept pacing rapidly inside my chest as my anxiety refused to settle, as if everything in me was letting me know that I would not be happy to hear whatever he was trying to say to me.

“What—” I tried to speak, but stopped myself when my voice got caught in my throat. My whole body was shaking, wariness came building inside my chest, but I clenched my fists around the plushie doll he gave me and forced myself to speak, “What on earth are you talking about?”

Jungkook straightened his back and looked straight into my eyes with full determination on his face. And then my suspicion was confirmed the moment he spoke, the moment he ripped apart every hope I ever had of having my last chance of happiness by saying,

“I never signed the papers. Do you know what that means? It means you are still my wife. You are still legally mine.”

All Rights Reserved © 2016-2020 Yoonia

Disclaimer: All works are written by myself. Any copyright infringement, reposting on any other social media or website, and any act of plagiarism will be dealt with legal action

[miioouu]

Single Father Bakugo (3) Birthday Dad

More cute single pa Baku!! Honestly idk i just got this idea randomly sooo. Also idk if i said I'll update you guys on Single Father bakugou once a week, buuuut i don't think that's true, I'll post a part anytime an idea comes to my mind. Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAKUBOO❤️

Ten months…. 

It's been almost a year since Bakugo was taking care of his little baby. Ever since, his life seemed a little brighter, a little more colorful. Even behind his tired, sleep deprived eyes, happiness and joy can be seen. Life has changed drastically, but he wouldn't have it any other way. And to say he wanted to put the little girl up for adoption! So pathetic Katsuki. 

Even though it's his birthday, things were going on normally, being a dad meant that he wasn't able to go out and party, enjoy his special day like every other young person his age. He could still ask his mom to keep an eye on the child, but honestly he'd rather spend the day with her than surrounded by drunk sweaty bodies, annoying music filling his ears. He'd much rather listen to his baby girl babble and babble incoherent words and him pretending to understand and have a conversation with her. What he didn't expect was that this year, he'd have the most wonderful gift of all time. 

Holding her on his hips as he was making himself a birthday dinner, the little girl always looking up to him, hand gripping his thin sweatshirt, incoherent sounds would come out of her mouth every now and then making the young father look at her and reply with a "yes, you're right" and "I know right?! Unbelievable!". Bouncing her to the rhythm of whatever song that was stuck in his head, focusing on the task at hands, he almost missed the sound coming out of her little lips, if it weren't for her hand tugging harder at his top and other one patting his strong arm, a gesture that she learned would get his attention anytime. Dropping the wooden spoon to the side, seeing her mouth open and close, trying to get out something. "Come on baby! What do you have to say? Dad's listening!" He didn't want to get his hopes too high, knowing that it's still a bit early for her to say her first word, but maybe it's his dad instinct telling him to listen closely, or maybe it's just the little bit of hope that she'd say her first word on his birthday that told him to focus on whatever that was about to come out of her. "Ba… BaBa". That's it! That was it! Wide smile stretching on his face, tears threatening to fall, since when did he become so soft? Well it doesn't matter now... He couldn't believe how lucky he was, to have his daughter's first words be "baba" and on his birthday! He was on cloud nine! Hugging his baby tightly, telling her how much he loves her and treasures her, he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face for the rest of the evening. 

He spent his first birthday as a dad calling up his beloved ones, telling them about the most amazing gift he's ever gotten. 

5 years….

Growing up and growing older together, was everything Bakugou ever wants. His little baby now five, how did time pass by so quickly? It felt like just yesterday he was teaching her how to walk, and now he's begging her to stop running around the house, afraid she'd knock her head on things. It happened before, hearing his angel cry, making his heart drop, he never again wants to hear her in pain again….

His birthday wasn't his special day anymore, it was their special day. Making it a ritual to always spend it together, they'd either go out and celebrate it over ice cream, or they'd stay at home, playing and cuddling watching movies as she drifted to sleep in his arms. He never asked for gifts, she's a child, and even later in life he wouldn't. He never liked his birthday, until he became a dad, the first year she gifted him with her precious first words. The second with a hug, the third with a kiss, and the fourth with morning snuggles. His little bundle of joy completely changed his perspective of his birthday. What will she do this year? 

Apparently, something really special, as she was hiding from him all day, running away from him everytime he tried to get a hug or a kiss. Making him a little angry as he just wanted some affection from the little girl, but he's not getting any of it. Well at least he didn't have to wait that long, lunch was approaching and so did his baby, well not so baby anymore, hiding something behind her back as she was making her way to him. Giving her a little smile as she finally, for the first time today, showed some interest in her father. Pressing her head on his leg as she couldn't reach higher to get his attention, like he wasn't already waiting for her. Bending down to get to her eye level, he gave her a little cheek kiss as she revealed what she was keeping a secret from him all day long. It must've been something on a paper or something like that, but he couldn't quite tell as glitter was covering all of it, looking behind her to see the trail of orange and pink shimmers that would definitely be a hassle to clean. Though he didn't care right now, the only thing that matters was his gift, as narcissistic as it sounds. Taking the present from her hands only to open the envelope to reveal a folded paper. Shaking his hand in a sort of way to get rid of the sparkles, gently unfolding the paper. Eyes wide, then softening as a grin made its way to his lips. It was a family drawing. There she was holding hand with what he assumed to be him, wearing his hero costume, and their little cat to the side. Not forgetting to add her uncle Kirishima but it seemed as she crossed him, writing a small no to his side, making the blond giggle. And on the top of her paper, in bold multi-colored pencil a big "Happy birzday Baba" with a crooked heart next to it. It was nothing amazing, but he can see the thought she put into it, the love and passion she dedicated in the drawing, making him ever so proud of his girl. Giving her the biggest hug, lifting her up in the air as he thanked her. He was honestly having the time of his life, always, with his little bundle of joy…. 

14 years….

Rituals are bound to fade one day. And considering spending his birthday together as a ritual, he wasn't that surprised when it broke. But it still hurts. It's the first birthday in 14 years he spends alone, without her by his side. With her laughs to fill the air, with her hugs to warm his heart, with her "I love you dad"s. Instead she decided to spend the night with her friends. And the worse thing about all of it, she hadn't even acknowledged him all day long. Teenagers… 

Bored out of his mind, and too sad to do anything, even spending the night with Kirishima. He couldn't bring himself to move from the couch, laying under his blankets. Pathetic Katsuki, you've been limping around all day long like a heartbroken teenager! Man up it's just a night away. At this point he had no idea if he was sad that he's not spending the night with his daughter or if he was just worried about her. It's not the end of the world! He can still get out, have fun on his birthday like everyone. He still can….. But he doesn't want to. He wants her. He wants to hug her, mess her hair, listen to her drag his names as he teases her about her crush. He wants to cuddle up with her as they watch their favorite show for the fifteenth time. And fuck, is he crying right now? It's just…. It feels like just yesterday he was teaching her how to lace up her shoes, warning her about boys. It felt like just yesterday, she took her first steps, yelled her first swear, she gave him the middle finger for the first time. She just grew up so fast, how can he not be sad? And his tears didn't stop rolling as he looked at the fridge, family drawings she made, the highest score on a maths exam…. He was just so proud of her. He was just so proud to call this little daredevil with a soft heart his daughter. And he was so proud of the woman she grew up to be. 

Thinking so much about her, it seemed like she sensed it. Right before midnight, a special ringtone shook him awake. It was her! Is she ok?! What if something happened to her?! Shooting out from under the blankets to answer the call, mind drowning in fear, until he heard her gentle voice, slightly above a whisper so her friends don't listen to her. "Happy birthday dad, I love you so much!"

18 years…. 

Sadness, it was all he was feeling lately. The thought of her being already so grown up, he didn't want his baby to leave him. He didn't want his baby to fly away from him. He didn't want his daughter to forget about him…. But there's some things in life that you can't stop. And one of them was the departure of his girl to college, leaving him alone, with their old cat, just to stare at all her childhood photos, relive all the memories, and when he gets her occasional texts, it never fails to make him smile and tug at his heart as tears threaten to fall. 

Though on his birthday, she made sure to make it as special as possible, even if she wasn't near him. Going out to get his mail like every morning, he noticed a special letter. One decorated with glitter, orange and pink. Excitement flowing in his vain as he knew exactly where that special gift came from, or to be exact from who. Running inside and gently opening up the letter, wanting to keep it intact to save it. He couldn't help but sob at the words in front of him, the love they expressed…. 

    "Dear baba… 

     It's your special day! So I thought I'd make it even more special and write to you how I truly feel. 

    I know it's been hard, and I haven't been the easiest to raise. But can you blame me for the temper I inherited from you? Can you blame me for the loud voice I got from you? Can you blame me for the love and care and sweetness I offer the word that I learned from you? 

    I know what you're thinking, cause I thought about it too. Do you ever wonder, like me, about what would've happened if I was never a part of your life? Do you ever wonder, like me, what it would've been like if I had a mother, to braid my hair and caress my cheeks? To lull me to sleep with angelic voice and the smile that would appear everytime I do something right? Do you ever wonder, like me, if I never were a mistake? But I don't blame dad, it's not your fault. I'm not asking you to change anything, there's nothing you can do. And I understand. 

    Do you want to know what though? All of these are just what if's… In reality I wouldn't change a thing, and I know you won't either. In reality I don't need that motherly love, I only need yours. I need your rough hands to pinch my cheeks, I need your loud voice to praise me up, I need your evil smirk to boost me up. 

     I've seen your tears dad, I heard your cries. I've shed those tears too dad, and I bet you heard my cries. You wish you had someone, I wish that too. You wish you were better, I wish I was that too. But now I know, life might be us two. And I'm so ok with that. All I need in life is you. My angel and devil, my father and so much more, my number one hero…..

      Happy birthday to the most wonderful hero, to my best friend, to my one and only! Happy birthday baba! I love you!

                           From your daughter xoxo"

Tags

(@babybakuu )

[blurry-fics]

Two Years

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: Angst, profanity

Word Count: 2200

Request: hi! if requests are open can I request a josh fic where they were really close friends for years but then he got a really controlling girlfriend and he stopped talking to y/n. after like 2 years he broke up with her and tried to become friends with y/n again but his ex girlfriend was blaming the reader for the break up so y/n got in an argument with josh about the fact that she didn't want to get involved and then he confesses that he's in love with the reader? you're so talented btw

Author’s Note: As promised, here is the fic! I wrote this one a little differently than I normally do, so I hope you enjoy it! :) (picture credit)

Two Years Ago

y/n: josh?

y/n: are you going to tell me why you didn’t show up to lunch yesterday?

y/n: this is the third time you’ve bailed on our plans without telling me

y/n: is something going on that i don’t know about?

…

y/n: ok

Four Months Ago

The sun was shining on your back as you walked through the park, enjoying your Saturday off and getting some fresh air after spending the week in the office. Music playing through your headphones was also helping to block out the world around you. It was a nice way to unwind after a stressful week at work.

There was an empty bench beneath a tree, so you decided to sit down and rest for a little while before you continued your walk. You grabbed your phone from your pocket, deciding that it was as good a time as any to catch up on any notifications you may have missed. Knowing your boss, there was inevitably some side project that he would want you to take on and finish before work on Monday. Even if you didn’t want to do it, it was better to know now and give yourself plenty of time to complete it.

To your surprise, there was a text from an unknown number on your screen, bearing the simple message of “hey”. You weren’t one to typically answer those types of texts, but there had been an influx of new people at work and your boss had been quick to hand out your personal number in case they “needed anything.”

y/n: who is this?

You set your phone down in your lap while you waited for an answer; you didn’t want to sit around staring at your screen. This was still meant to be a relaxing walk, after all.

unknown: you really don’t know?

A chill ran down your spine, but you decided to push forward in the conversation. An old friend, maybe?

y/n: no, sorry.

unknown: it’s josh. josh dun?

Shit.

You shut your phone off, wishing you could pretend that you hadn’t just seen his message. The last time you had spoken to Josh was nearly two years ago, if you could even call it that. He had essentially ghosted you after he started seeing his girlfriend with zero explanation. You had tried to maintain the friendship for a few months, but after all of your texts and calls went unanswered, you finally gave up. The two of you hadn’t spoken since.

josh: this is y/n, right?

Your hands shook as you typed your response.

y/n: yeah

y/n: why are you contacting me?

josh: it’s a long story. can i call you?

y/n: i’m on a walk right now. i’ll call you when i get home.

You got off the bench and started walking in the direction you had come from.

You paced the length of the kitchen with your phone clutched in your hand, occasionally stopping to take a drink of water. Even after spending the entire walk home trying to figure out what you felt about hearing from Josh, you were still conflicted. On one hand, you were excited to hear from the guy you had once considered your best friend. On the other, you were furious that he had disappeared without a trace and decided to randomly come back years later. You had gotten so used to life without him that you weren’t sure that you were ready for a life with him again.

If that was even what he wanted.

You decided to put an end to your worrying and call Josh. The phone only rang a few times before he picked up.

“Hello?” Your heart skipped a beat at hearing his voice again.

“What the fuck, Josh?”

“Well that’s not the reaction I was expecting.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you expect me to be all happy and relieved that you finally decided to contact me? You dropped me out of nowhere, with no explanation, and then moved halfway across the country. Who the hell does that?”

“Listen, Y/N, I can explain.”

“Then you better start explaining fast because I really don’t have the patience for this.”

“Ok.” Josh took a deep breath. “You remember my girlfriend?”

“The one you started dating before dropping me? Yeah, I remember,” you snapped.

“Yes, ok, listen. That was the problem. Things were ok for the first couple months and then she got really… controlling. One of the first things she said I had to do was stop talking to you, and I went along with it. I know it’s stupid, but it was easier than trying to fight her on it. I thought it would get better with time. I really did. I never meant to stop talking to you for years, Y/N.”

You took a deep breath. Although Josh’s actions had hurt you, you could understand where he was coming from.

“But you did, Josh.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry. I regret it every single day. That’s why I’m reaching out to you now.”

“Thank you for apologizing.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Is… is she still in the picture?” you asked.

“Yeah. I’ve been trying to put an end to things, but it’s not easy, as you can imagine.”

“Right.”

“Can I ask you something?”

You took a deep breath, “Sure.”

“Do you think that there’s a possibility that we can be friends again?”

You paused, listening to the static of the phone call.

“Yes.”

Two Months Ago

Bad idea.

Bad idea.

Bad idea.

“Hi,” you smiled as you pulled the front door open. “How are you?”

Josh looked almost surprised to see you. He stared at you for a moment before he finally started to smile, holding his arms out.

“I’m ok, how are you?”

You accepted his hug and pressed your face to his chest. He smelled different than you remembered.

“I’m alright. Come in.”

After spending the last couple months catching up via texts and phone calls, you finally told Josh that you felt ready to see him in person again. He had caught a flight back to Ohio the next day and now he was standing in your entryway.

“Do you want anything to drink?” you asked.

“I’m ok, thank you.”

“Alright.”

The two of you sat down on opposite ends of the couch. Despite your easy conversation over the phone, you felt tongue tied now that Josh was actually sitting in front of you. Had it really been two years since you were in the same room?

“Your house is really nice,” Josh said. He was nervously twisting his fingers.

“You don’t have to make small talk with me, Josh. But thank you.”

He turned to you with a partial smile.

“Two years later and you can still read me like a book.”

“Your facial expressions tell me all I need to know.”

“All of it?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“All of it.”

“Noted.”

You were unable to stop a smile from creeping across your face. Of course you and Josh would act like you hadn’t ever spent any time apart. Isn’t that how you had always been?

“Hey, what did you tell your girlfriend about going to Ohio?”

“She thinks I’m here to work on the album with Tyler. The only reason she didn’t sneak on her own flight here is because her best friend has a bridal shower tomorrow that she refused to miss, although there were a couple times that she almost bailed to come with me.”

“Yikes, I’m sorry.”

Josh shrugged, “It’s ok. Knowing that things will be over soon makes it easier.”

“What are you going to tell her?”

“The truth.”

“Which is?” you asked.

“I shouldn’t share. It’s kind of personal.”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with me, does it?”

“No,” Josh shook his head, “no.”

“Good, because I don’t want to be in the middle of all that. Apparently she already had enough reasons to not like me.”

“I never understood that. How could anybody not like you?”

“No idea,” you laughed, “but they do.”

“I don’t.” You turned towards Josh, expecting him to be laughing, but his face was completely sincere. “Not in the slightest.”

“Thanks, Josh. I appreciate that.”

One Month Ago

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

“What the hell?” you muttered, pulling your attention away from your laptop long enough to check your phone. There were four messages, all from Josh.

josh: i’m sorry

josh: i’m so sorry

josh: i didn’t mean for her to find out

josh: it was an accident

That didn’t sound good.

y/n: slow down, what are you talking about?

josh: [sent a link]

You clicked on the link, which took you to an Instagram post made by Josh’s now-ex girlfriend, as he had informed you last night. The picture was of her, and the caption spanned most of the rest of your screen. Your stomach sunk as you started to read it.

As many of you know, for the last two years, I was dating @joshuadun. I THOUGHT we were meant to be, but apparently he wanted to dump me because he was in love with someone else. Of course, he wouldn’t tell me who that was because he’s a lying, scummy, piece of shit that led me on for absolutely no reason. Since he won’t tell me, I’ll let all of you do my digging for me, starting with @y/n. They were friends before I started dating him and they randomly decided to “reconnect” a few months ago. Suspicious, huh? Anyway, I’m going to be taking a little social media break for my mental health, but feel free to DM me with anything you find. Hugs and kisses xoxo see you soon!

You dialed Josh instantly.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“What is going on?”

“I’m sorry. I was packing up my things this morning and left my phone on the bed while I went into another room to grab something. She snuck in and saw a message from you and started screaming at me, accusing me of cheating on her.”

“Is it true?”

“No, I would never cheat on her,” Josh said, immediately getting defensive.

“Not that part. When you were at my house, you told me that you were going to tell her the truth. She said in her post that you told her you were in love with someone else, and she thinks it’s me. Is that true? Are you in love with me, Josh?”

Your question was met with silence. You had to double check that he hadn’t hung up on you.

“Josh?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” he took a deep breath, “I’m in love with you.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?”

“What do you mean what?” you snapped. “You stopped talking to me out of nowhere, randomly came back years later claiming you wanted to be friends again, lied to me when I asked if the truth had anything to do with me, and then publicly dragged me into the middle of your breakup! I asked you for one thing, Josh. One. I didn’t want to be in the middle of it, yet here I am.”

“I’m sorry, it was an accident.”

“I just need to go. I’ll talk to you… I don’t know when, but I need a break from all of this. Bye, Josh.”

You hung up before giving him a chance to say anything else.

Present Day

Josh was sitting in front of you.

You were nervously picking at your jeans, trying to find the right words to say. The two of you had been having conversations here and there over the last month, but you still felt bad about the way you had reacted when the drama with his ex happened. There had been more going on than you thought under the surface, and as a result Josh had gotten all of your stress dumped on him.

It was long past time you actually explained that to him.

“Are you going to say anything?” he asked.

“Yes, I just need a second,” you said. “I’m sorry.”

“Take your time.”

You nodded. Josh idly tapped his fingers on his legs.

“Ok. I think I’m ready.”

“I’m listening.”

You looked up at Josh, meeting his eyes. His eyebrows raised slightly.

“First, I just want to apologize again for how I reacted when all the drama happened. I had a lot going on and you were an easy target to take my stress out on. I thought it was just frustration at first, but after some thinking I realized it was a lot more than that.”

You waited for Josh to say something, but he stayed quiet.

“I love you too, Josh.”

“You do?”

“I pushed it down for a long time for a lot of reasons, but the fact of the matter is that I love you. I can’t deny it anymore.”

Josh leaned forward and wrapped his arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You held onto him tightly.

He smelled just like you remembered.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” you smiled.

[sincerelyreidburke]

22 for Kai and Remy :))) they deserve good things

Another one!!! Toby, thank you. They absolutely do deserve good things.

“Who’s Kai?” Remy’s history major friend! See this post.

This is from this list of sappy prompts! If you’d like to see one, I’m definitely still taking them!

22. “You make me so happy.”

Remy isn’t completely freaking out over his schoolwork. It’s just that he’s not having the greatest afternoon. And he guesses his schoolwork is maybe one of the causes.

The problem is that freaking out about your schoolwork is stupid, especially when that schoolwork is already done. Or mostly done. He took a huge midterm exam in his gen ed philosophy class on Thursday, and then turned in a long essay for The Reformation on Friday, and then spent all of today— Saturday— doing work for his other two classes, and that’s it; that’s all, he’s pretty much finished. The problem is that right now, it’s four PM on a Saturday, and his friends have texted him a number of times, and the only thing he can find the energy to do is sit on the edge of his bed and worry about his grades.

He doesn’t even know why he’s so stressed. The big assignments and tests have been submitted; he just has to wait for his fate now. He thinks maybe it’s because Professor Han gave him a 76 on the first philosophy exam earlier this semester, and because Professor Friedman is notoriously tough on his writing, which, really, when you think about it, is his own fault, because this is his second year of American college and he still can’t get his English to feel completely natural, because the universe hates him, but— but really, he’s fine. He didn’t sleep enough last night, and they lost their game yesterday, but he’s fine. He’s just not having a good day. Sometimes, bad days happen.

He taps both his feet on the floor. His dorm room is getting dark, because the sun sets so early, and he never bothered to turn the light on in here today to begin with. He needs to think about a million things— dinner, what he’s doing tonight, what assignments are on his radar next, how he can help to prevent such a nasty loss like the one last night from happening again.

But right now, he doesn’t want to think about any of that. Right now, he just wants to be in his room in the dark. He likes having a single this year; he can be alone with his thoughts a lot more. It makes for peace and quiet when he’s reading, that’s for sure. Francis was a decent roommate as far as freshman year roommates go, but Remy values solitude. The only problem is at times like this, when he starts zoning out and nobody’s there to pull him out of his head.

He’s fine. Really, he is.

When his phone pings, it makes him jump. It’s sitting face-up on the edge of his desk, so he can see the screen light up, a faint glow against the darkening room. At first, he isn’t going to pick it up. He wants to lay back and let the heap of stuffed animals on his mattress swallow him, and maybe fall asleep right there, and just sleep straight through to wake up tomorrow morning. Except that’s an impossible hope, because if he did do that, he’d inevitably wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep at all and be totally dead all day tomorrow.

His phone pings a second time, and he isn’t sure why, but something about that second ping makes him curious about what notification it carries. He gets up, crosses the small floor space of his single, and picks up the phone. The notifications are stacked in order of most to least recent.

iMessage — now

Kai

Are you okay? You’ve been MIA for like 4 hours

 iMessage — 1m ago

Kai

Hey

 Group: Kiersey Men’s Hockey — 20m ago

18 notifications

 iMessage — 37m ago

Ben

are you coming to beech tonight

 Instagram — 1h ago

kairibou sent you a post!

The group chat lighting up is nothing new, and neither is Ben’s question about his plans for the night. He was with Ben, and Nando with him, earlier today— right up until lunch— and would probably still be with them if he hadn’t headed back for his room riding the homework excuse. The notifications from Kai are slightly more concerning, because they hit him with a pang of guilt. He doesn’t want to ignore xir. Or anybody, really.

He opens the Instagram notification first; xe sent him a meme about the Spanish Inquisition, which actually makes him laugh when he sees it. He likes xir message, then goes back over to the text thread. Even with one stupid meme, his shoulders feel a little less tight.

Me: Sorry

Me: I’m okay

Kai: Lol don’t be sorry

Kai: I was just wondering

Kai: What are you doing tonight?

Me: I don’t know

Me: I guess my team is probably hosting something at beech street

Me: But I don’t know that I’m up for it

Kai: Did something happen?

Kai: To you

Me: No, I’m okay

Me: I’m just not feeling it

Something funny happens, then, and Remy sinks into his desk chair as it happens. He watches Kai start typing, and then stop typing, and then start again, and repeat the cycle at least three times. He laughs at his phone screen again. The tension eases further.

Finally, there’s another text.

Kai: Where are you right now?

Me: I’m in my room

Me: Why?

Kai: Just wondering

Me: Uh… okay

Xe stops texting after that. Remy watches the screen for xir typing bubble to appear, but it doesn’t. Xe leaves him on read, which is fine. Remy has never been the kind of person to get weird about texting times or getting left on read, since he is one of the worst culprits when it comes to forgetting to reply. He has no idea what Kai is up to, but at least now xe knows he’s not having any major crisis.

Because he really isn’t having a major crisis. This is just normal college stress. Sometimes it happens.

And… okay. It’s true. He really doesn’t want to get another bad grade. But does anybody ever want that?

He walks back over to his bed, and grabs Nagini, his beloved weighted snake, from the stuffed animal pile. He drapes her around his neck like a scarf, then leans back into the pile, just the way he imagined doing, and feels the welcome embrace of a bunch of small, plush, inanimate friends.

Maybe he should go over to Kai’s apartment. He would really love to see Leonardo, the lizard xe’s not supposed to have in the dorms. But then again, that would require a lot of getting up and getting dressed and getting motivated that Remy cannot find in him right now.

So he’ll lay here. With Nagini and his other friends. In the dark. And that’ll be okay. If he winds up napping and waking up in the middle of the night, well… that’s a bridge he’ll cross when he gets to it.

He even closes his eyes. He’s not sure how long it is before it happens, but when the knock comes at the door, he’s definitely not sleeping. He knows he’s not sleeping because it makes him jump, and he sits up halfway in bed.

Knock, knock. It happens again, as he runs through the list of possible culprits. It’s definitely not the RA on his floor, because there was no chipper little res life! announcement that accompanied the knock. And he isn’t really on knock-on-the-door basis with any of his neighbors. He’s pretty sure it’s Kai. Then again, there’s an equal chance it could be Ben or Nando or even both of them at once.

There’s only one way to find out. He gets up, leaves Nagini on the bed, and pulls the door open a crack.

His visitor has purple hair, and is holding a small paper bag in one hand, with a disposable travel cup in the other. “Hi,” he says, in English, and then, in French, adds, “Are you about to kidnap me?”

“No.” Kai’s grin is gentle, and xe replies in French, because xe has never been anything but patient with his slow English brain. “But it would be cool if you let me in.”

“Oh.” He immediately feels stupid, because he should have realized that, and pulls the door all the way open for xir. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Kai slides xir shoes off at the door. They’re lavender high tops that almost match the color of xir hair, but not quite. In general, purple is a necessary part of Kai’s aesthetic. Remy got xir a purple mug with lizards on it this past Christmas.

Kai is quiet for a second, as the door shuts itself behind xir. There’s something in xir expression that lets Remy know he’s about to be interrogated, before it even happens. Xe folds xir arms, and tips xir head to the side. Remy figures maybe he can beat xir to it, and answer the question before xe asks. “I’m okay,” he assures xir, and hopes he sounds convincing.

Kai doesn’t look like xe believes him. “Have you been locked in here all day in the dark?”

“No,” Remy lies, and then Kai turns on the light. He winces, and sits back onto his mattress. “A little warning next time?”

“Sorry.” Kai walks over to sit down next to him, and hands him the paper bag and cup. “But these are for you.”

“What?” He pauses, as xe forces the items upon him. The bag is light, but there’s definitely something inside— food, for sure. And the cup is warm, like it’s home to a hot drink. He meets Kai’s eyes. “Why?”

“Because I’m not stupid,” Kai laughs. Xe rubs his shoulder, gently, and adds, “You’re having a weird day. I thought you could use, like… a pick-me-up?”

“You didn’t have to—” He sniffs the drink; it’s hot chocolate. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, I wanted to.” Kai is still gentle, as a small silence settles over both of them. Remy peeks into the bag. It’s a croissant, a chocolate one, and both of these items no doubt came from the café on campus. He inhales, and when he lets out his breath, Kai speaks again. Xir voice is a lot quieter this time. “Are you okay?”

Remy hesitates, which is the first mistake you always make when you’re trying to convince someone you’re okay. But then again, says his subconscious, within that brief hesitation, why bother? Why try to fake it? Kai knows him well. Xe’s one of his best friends. And he has a feeling xe wouldn’t be bringing food randomly to his dorm if xe didn’t have some reason for it. The reason, in this case, being that xe obviously expects him to reply with a no to xir question.

So he sighs, then remarks, “I’m just having a day.”

“Having a day is okay.” Kai pauses. “That’s… kind of what I figured. It’s why I’m here.”

“Sorry,” he blurts, because the guilt washes stronger over him now. It’s a Saturday, and Kai could be doing any number of fun things, and xe’s in his dorm feeling sorry for him when he’s just being dramatic about some schoolwork.

“Why are you sorry?” xe replies. 

“I didn’t mean to, uh— concern you?” He winces at himself, and looks up to meet xir eyes. “Or, like— make you interrupt your day for me—”

“Rem,” Kai mumbles. There’s sincerity— and warmth— in xir eyes. “There’s literally nothing you have to apologize for. This is what friends are for.”

And Remy knows this. But he’s so overwhelmed with gratitude in this moment that it feels like new information. “Thank you,” he says. “For, uh— the food. And for coming.”

“You’re welcome on both,” xe says. “And it’s white hot chocolate, by the way.”

Remy laughs into the lid of the warm drink. “You make me so happy.”

Kai’s smiling, and xe shrugs. “Like I said,” xe says. “What are friends for.”

He takes a long sip from the cup; xe’s right. It’s white hot chocolate. And it tastes like a warm hug. Little by little, he thinks he’s going to have a good night.

“C’mon,” Kai says, after they sit there a moment, as if xe can read his mind. “Let’s watch something. I’m here to stick around.”

Remy smiles. “Okay.”

Before they do, he texts Ben.

Me: I’m staying in tonight, but I’ll see you at breakfast?

Ben: good deal

Ben: love you

Me: Love you too

With Kai, he winds up in a pile on his bed. They perch his laptop at the edge of the covers, pull up Game of Thrones, and use the duvet as a way to achieve maximum cozy. Remy puts Nagini around his neck again. Kai is a lot smaller than he is, and xe huddles into his shoulder. Xe’s warm, and xir hair smells like lavender, and xe’s always a good cuddle.

“You should have brought Leonardo,” he tells xir, pulling his arm around xir shoulders.

“Aw,” Kai mutters. “He must be so lonely in my room. We can go there next time.”

“Yes,” he whispers, to the ceiling. Kai’s lizard is really the best.

“I know you like him more than you like me,” xe adds, as xe’s pushing play on the laptop.

“Well,” Remy remarks, not really able to stop smiling. “At least you know.”

Kai laughs as xe falls back into their blanket cocoon. “You’re an asshole,” xe remarks, and Remy grins wider, because he knows.

Safe, warm, and cozy, that’s how he spends the rest of his Saturday night. He wouldn’t change much of anything, not for the world.

[lostinmymindpalace-m]

The Light of Knowledge

Chapter one, part 2/2, in which the thoughts are free

I want to make good use of my time and get a general idea of the material, so I return to my room directly after dinner and skim through the school books. They seem to be quite advanced in English here and the topics in mathematics and chemistry look more complicated than anything I have done so far, too. I take a deep breath, rub my glasses clean on my blazer and start taking notes. Outside it's getting dark and I have to turn on my desk light to be able to read my tiny, compendious  handwriting. But I manage to make connections between the new topics and my body of knowledge. Now that's not looking too bad. I surely won't be easy, but I think I can handle the work load. Finally, I take my diary out of the drawer and write down what happened today. The words are flying so fast my hand struggles to keep up, but I feel more relaxed with every sentence. When I put the pen away, there is just half an hour left until lights-out, so I put on my pyjamas, take off the glasses and go to the bathroom. Fortunately, it's empty. I brush my teeth, stare into the mirror and think about tomorrow. The class representative Neil and the other guys seem really nice, I sat with them during dinner and they treated me very well, better than I'm used to. But I assume they were raised to be more polite than the boys at my old school. Hopefully the rest of my classmates are the same. Hopefully I get good teachers. What if they treat me different because I'm a girl? Only the foam that's running down my wrist from the endless brushing bringst me back to reality. 

The next morning I jump out of bed at the first ring of the alarm clock. Put on a fresh uniform and admire it in the bathroom mirror as I fix my tie. The only one I recognize during breakfast is Richard Cameron. He is sitting alone and reading and I intend to do the same. Just like last night, students start to whisper when I walk by, some of so younger ones even point fingers at me. It makes me feel like I don't belong here and I can't let that happen, therefore the book. I have the right to be here and go to an ivy league college and so do so many other girls. Just get used to it. My first class of the day is chemistry, so I get my school bag from my room and head for the chemistry building. I'm way to early, but the laboratory isn't locked. I push the door open carefully and sit down in a row of tables in the middle of the room. A teacher comes in from the secondary room and, before I can say a word, tells me to hand out a thick pile of papers. While I walk around and put a project list on every table, my classmates enter the room in small groups. Neil and Todd are the last ones to arrive, they scurry into the lab just as the bell rings. As soon as class begins, I stop looking left ans right and note down what Mr. Hartley tells us. A laboratory experiment every five weeks, 20 questions due tomorrow. I make a note to read through the project list later today. The rest of the lesson is a lecture about acids and bases. When the bell rings, I have to shake out my hand. I grabbed my pen so hard it started cramping. Next is Latin with Mr. McAllister, a man with a Scottish accent who is walking up and down in front of the class, repeating diffrently conjugated and declined words that we have to echo. I hardly manage to write them down. What a stupid way to teach us the conjugational and declinational classes I think as I examine my poorly legable notes. There is a system that the words follow depending on their basic form. It's easy enough, but not when you just repeat random words. I scribble nominative, genitive, accusative, ablative, dative and singular, plural onto the page and decide to copy all of this again correctly. Math class on the other hand is no problem for me. Dr. Hager makes us stand up and recite definitions and methods of solutions from memory, but since I prepared myself last night, the questions aren't too difficult. When I repeat the definition of a cosine correctly, he gives me an approving look. Then he announces that any missed assignment will cause the subtraction of one point on our final grade. I quickly note that down and underline it twice. Not that I planned on not doing my homework, put this does increase the pressure. All in all, I'm a bit stressed when I sit down in the English classroom. The teacher, Mr. Keating, is sitting in front of the class, looking outside of the window and ignores us completely. That's kind of weird, but a nice break. I clean my glasses and try to relax a bit. Mr. Keating got up by now and is pacing around the room. Meanwhile he's swinging a ruler through the air and randomly points it at students. They look just as confused as I feel. „Ha! You flexible young brains!“, he suddenly shouts, which doesn't really help to clarify the situation. Then he jumps onto his desk and recites loudly: „Captain, my Captain!“ The others exchange looks. „Does anyone know who this is from?“

After the lesson, when I follow the stream of students to lunch, Keatings words are still stuck in my head. He made us go to the entrance hall and look at the pictures of former students while Gerard Pitts read out a poem. Infront of the walls I wished my picture upon just yesterday, he talked to us about our own finiteness. That was... something different. We are food for worms... I can hardly wrap my young and flexible head around it. I eat lunch, but whatever it is, it leaves no impression on me. Carpe diem, seize the day, make your lives extraordinary. I feel like this should move something inside of me, make me wiser, somehow. But all I can think of is that I am working to make my life extraordinary, that one day, my picture will be among these boys in the entrance hall. I only have two years here, assuming everything goes as planned. I can't let my concetration slip, not on my first day, not ever. So I take Mr. Keating's insistend words, open a little drawer in my head and lock them away.

The sports lesson in the afternoon helps me to shake of the memory of English class. All we do is run rounds in the hall and when it's finally over, and I'm done changing in the bathroom, my legs are wobbly, but my mind is free. I once again register how beautiful the school grounds look in the sunlight, so I take my homework and sit down on the lawn at the lake. I wonder what's going on at home. It's hard to believe that I've only been here for a day. How are Mom and Dad? Do James and Betty miss me? Ich shake my head. It doesn't matter. Thinking about them will only make you miss them and that won't help anyone. So I take a deep breath, watch a bunch of seventh graders throw someone's homework in the lake and start studying. By the time I'm done with math and chemistry, the air has cooled down considerably. I stroll back to the housing and think about my plans for the rest of the day. My Latin notes nedd to be rewritten. Should I do that in the common room? Other people will be there. But it's surely going to be loud. But you'll have to make contact eventually.Or not. They will only distract me. I'm still working on this question at dinner, when a tipping on my wrenches me out of my thoughts. It's Neil. „Do you have any plans for tonight, Diana?“, he asks kindly. „We are doing a study group later, you're welcome to join us if you want.“ Some of the other boys are peeking in our direction, their clearly hopefull expression makes me smile. But I refuse. „Thanks for asking, but I think I would rather do my homework in my room. Maybe another time.“ So I spend my first full day at Welton exactly how I planned it: With undistracted studying. I finish my work and write in my diary, then I put on my checked pyjamas and read poems from my English book before I go to sleep.

The next days proceed just the same: The classes are hard, I am prepared, Mr. Keating's lessons are extraordinary. Each one is fascinating and thrilling, but I'm not sure I like that. Sometimes I almost back of a little, as if too much contact with Mr. Keating's way of thinking could cause some kind of harm to me. Once, he makes us rip pages out of a school book. I hesitate for a moment, because as funny as this idea is, I can't afford to get in trouble. As if to confirm my foreshadowing, Mr. McAllister enters the room just when I'm tossing the introduction into the understandig of poetry by Dr. J. Evans Pritchard PhD into the dustbin. Thanks to Mr. Keating aren't in trouble, but my heart still misses a beat. I just hope we learn everything we need for exams.

I do my repetitions and the homework in the afternoon and fill the remaining time with exercises, reading and studying. As time goes by, I feel more and more at home at Welton, the boys seem to start accepting my presence, some of them I really like by now. My extracurricular acticities are interesting and I attend every meeting, thus I frequently spend my afternoons in the company of Meeks, Charlie, Cameron, Knox or Todd (I don't really get why some of them are referred to with their surname, but whatever). The pupil's magazine is my favourite. We have a lot of fun every time and I really like writing articles. Charlie says, I could easily make the team of chief editors, but I don't want to. Writing is amazing, but I would rather prepare myself for my classes than go to two extra meetings a week. Sometimes, when I'm done with my school work and the sun is just setting, I go to the entrance hall to look at the awards that are illuminated by the last warm rays. In these moments, I feel like my heart will explode with happiness and pride. I'm so excited for the future.

It's a paticularly autumn day, I sit with my back against a tree, let she sun warm my face and work on my translation for Latin. Or at least I try. But something keeps distracting me. It's not the boys playing soccer and cricket on the school grounds, that's for sure. I sigh and read what I unconciously scribbled on the edge of my paper.

The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse

That's what Mr. Keating told us at the end of class today. It has been stuck in my head ever since. Or maybe it has been bouncing up and down in my brain, messing up my vocabulary and causing the throbbing pain behind my temple. I shove the Latin book away and rub my eyes in frustration. I want to contribute a verse. I really do. That's why I'm here, that's why I study every day. I have been given the opportunity to be so much more than I could ever hope for. To be able to contribute a verse when I'm done with school. I will be the girl that gave generations of female students the opportunity to attend the best preparation school in the USA. If I only work hard enough, the project will be successfull. It has to be. So why do I keep thinking about these words? I slowly open my eyes and notice my former welcoming committee rushing across the lawn. They talk to Mr. Keating and show him something. Is it a book? Maybe they had a question about something we did in class. Whatever. I put my glasses back on and give Latin another try. Honestly, what was Ovid thinking. A logical sentence structure never hurt anybody. The next time I look up, Mr. Keating is gone, but the boys are still huddled together for what seems like a heated discussion. I wonder what is going on. When the dinner bell rings, they move back to school, still talking vividly.

It starts to rain during dinner. But it's a study night anyway, so I pack up my books and go to what I call the big homework room. Dr. Hager is supervising and pollutes the air with his pipe smoke. Aside or that, I like study nights. Doing school work can get lonely in the long run and here I have company without getting distracted. Normally. There is a lively whisper coming from the table in the back. The guys seem to continue their discussion. They are bowed over something on the table and whisper so agitatedly that Hager looks up from his book and admonishes them to be quiet. Todd isn't with them. Usually, him and Neil are inseparable... I put the pen away and let my gaze wander over the bent necks. Actually, Todd is sitting a few tables apart from the others, looking up from his work every few minutes and watching the guys unhappily. What is going on? When Dr. Hager calls them to order again, I guiltily turn back to my homework. But just a few minutes later, a movement catches my attention again. Neil got up and is sneaking to Todds table. Whatever Neil is trying to convince him of, Todd doesn't seem to like it. Suddenly Neil jumps up and speeds to the others with a smirk. I watch Todd who is looking after him in a slightly desperate way and somehow our eyes meet. For a moment, we look at each other over the tables and open books, then I give him a small smile and go back to my work.

Shortly before lights-out, someone knocks at my door. It's Neil. „May I come in?“ „Yeah, sure, wait a minute.“ He closes the door behind him and I take my books from the desk chair and shove the candles and socks aside so he can sit. „What is it?“, I ask as I drop down onto my bed. Neil hesitates for a moment, then he says: „I just wanted to see if you're alright. I mean, you're always by yourself studying“, he smiles, but his eyes seek mine, „so we hardly get to see you. But Todd said you looked kind of sad tonight. You aren't afraid to hang out with us, are you?“ „No, of course not. What makes you think that?“ „Hm“, he says and absentmindedly lights one of the candles on my desk. „So if I asked you if you wanted to come to a club meeting in a cave across the river, let's say, tonight, you would come?“ I rise my eyebrows. „It's late and we have school tomorrow.“ He starts laughing. „It's Friday, Diana.“ „Well, it doesn't matter. I have work to do tomorrow and there is a debate club meeting I have to attend. I'm sorry. I really like you guys. It's just... I have to focus on school, you know.“ He nods slowly. None of us talks for a moment. „I heard you got a part in a play, how is that going?“ His face lights up immediately. „It's so great. We only started rehearsing like two weeks ago but“, he seesaws back and forth in excitement, „I love it already. Acting is great. Makes me feel alive.“ He looks away with a beaming smile and notices my diary on the desk, dangerously near the lighted candle. „You write a diary? About the fascination of Welton?“ I shrug and pick up the worn out notebook. „I used to, but I haven't written in a while, actually. I didn't feel like it I guess.“ I can feel his eyes on me as I stroke the cover with my fingertips. He gets up. „I'm glad you came by, Neil.“ For a moment, he stops, still looking at me pensively. „You know what you told me when I showed you around the school, on your first day?“, he asks. „The thoughts are free? Doesn't look like it to me.“ Then he leaves. I bite my lip and slowy sink down on my desk chair. Watch the flickering flame he lit. For a moment, I let myself wonder, patting the notebook in my hands. Then I take a deep breath and blow the candle out.  

The days go on and the weather keeps getting worse. The sun seems to drown in dark grey clouds and cold rain and I can't go outside anymore. So I do my homework in my room and read out poems to the ceiling until I know them by heart. I've gotten only As in all my assignments. The teachers seem satisfied with me. I should be thrilled. But the truth is, my mood is as dark as the sky outside. Maybe I miss my family. Right know, I'm not even sure what I feel. Kind of numb. I'm rewriting my notes from today's chemistry class under the light of my desk lamp. Outside of my window, a rainstorm is raging. Huge drops are drumming on the roof and I have several unmeant lines on my paper from when I winced at the thunder. When I finish a paragraph about aldehydes, the room goes dark in a flash. I try to switch the lamp back on, but it doesn't work. A riot starts in the other rooms. Seems like a blackout. Annoying, but what can I do. I take off my glasses and rub my burning eyes. I can't focus anyway. Once again, Mr. Keating's lesson is stuck in my head. I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way. We stood on his desk today. It felt weird, but also... As if it could make you wiser, in a Mr. Keating way. For some reason, I find my dark room unsettling, so I take out a candle. As I light it, I suddenly remember Neil doing exactly the same. He told me my thoughts weren't free anymore... I frown, because that doesn't make any sense. In fact, I think I have never thought more than I do right now. But still... What he said touched something inside of me and I don't understand why. Try to see it from a different perspective. Carefully, I move the burning candle to the side and crouch on my desk. I can't stand up because the ceiling is too low, but it's a start. Unfortunately, I still don't get it, I just feel silly. What a mess. I really miss home. What happened to me? I used to be so excited about this school, about every single day, every single class. I try to listen for the joy, for the feeling of freedom, but my chest feels empty. And alone. I feel so alone and it's dark and my knees start to hurt from cowering on the table. Tears make the candle flame look blurry. I remember what Neil said about acting: It makes me feel alive. I want to feel alive. Crouching on your desk and sobbing in the dark doesn't. I remember the boys whispering at dinner, excited, planning. Maybe they went to this cave Neil mentioned, before the rain started. For a minute, I sit still, my mind racing. Then I blow out the candle, grab my coat and run out the door.

It appears that I have underestimated this blackout-causing thunderstorm, because I'm dripping wet by the time I reach the edge of the woods. But I don't care. I understand how stupid it is to run through the forest in a thunderstorm, looking for a cave you have never seen before. But I don't care. The rain is cold, but at least my body has stopped feeling numb. When I finally hear voices and stumble into the mouth of a small cave in the hillside, I am facing six dumbfounded boys. Pitts looks like he is choking on a cigarette. I can't blame him.

When the shock and confusion are over, I'm welcomed to sit next to the fire that somehow is still burning, but besmoking us all. Nuzzled into Knox' and Todd's jackets, I explain why I the hell I'm here. And while Charlie tells me this sounds like some hard marrow-of-life-sucking to him, while I watch the bright flames and take in deep breaths of smokey air, I feel it.

Free. Alive.

[sunshinejs]

You’re 10/10

In honour of yesterday being 10/10, I thought of this and I hope you enjoy this little fluff! 

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Word Count: 2k

You opened your eyes tiredly as the sunlight, peeking through the curtain, hits you. You roll around sleepily, wanting to cuddle into your boyfriend because your body was against getting out of bed in that moment.

You expected to find him behind you, still fast asleep in his side of the bed, but when you were met with an empty spot instead; you frowned. You touched the sheets where he laid and it felt cold, which meant Connor has been awake and out of bed for quite some time; not wanting to disturb you after the amount of studying you were doing last night.

You reached for your phone on the side table to check for the time and any messages your friends may have sent to you. When the device was close enough to your face, it’s only then you realize that there was a sticky note stuck to the phone screen.

1/10 - hi baby! You looked so peaceful sleeping so I didn’t want to disturb you :( I’ve got practice till 1pm then I’m heading to Shawn’s for a study session (and no, we’re not gonna play FIFA…) I know you’re heading to the library with Sam so I’ll see you later okay? Have an amazing day! I love you tons, sweets xx

You snickered at how his handwriting decreased in font size with each word, trying to fit the entire paragraph on the pink sticky note. You smiled to yourself, taking the note off from your phone and pasting it on the table instead.

Connor loved doing little things like these that would make your day. You loved it when he randomly writes stuff on sticky notes and pasting them on objects/at places where you would usually see them, regardless of what he writes on them. He could probably write something boring that his professor said during a lecture and it would still make you smile.

After fifteen minutes of going through your phone in bed, you thought it was finally time to get yourself ready for the day so you could meet Sam in the library on time. Once you got out of bed and did some light stretching, you headed for the bathroom and that’s when you noticed another pink note stuck on the white door.

2/10 - don’t shower too long!! Or you’ll be late for your study session :p xx

You rolled your eyes at his comment. So, you like to take long showers sometimes and Connor loved teasing you about it. After taking a quick shower, you headed for your shared closet so you could choose a comfy attire to put on for your long day in the library.

On the inner door of the closet, you noticed there were two sticky notes with his messy handwriting that you adored.

3/10 - since you’re going to the library, I figured you wanted to wear something comfy. Picked out your favourite grey hoodie (that belongs to me but apparently isn’t mine anymore? Logical, I guess) and a pair of black leggings for you and it’s folded in the middle compartment :) xx

3/10 (continued) - I can’t see you right now but I bet you look suuuuuper cozy in that hoodie and I just want to cuddle with my very soft girlfriend. Tonight please? Circle your answer below and stick it on my table ❤️ xx

Yes            No (If you circle this, you’re on the couch tonight ma’am. I refuse to share the bed if I’m not getting cuddles. Nope)

You blushed to yourself as you read the notes. Connor knew you like the back of his head; it was like he read your mind because what he picked out for you was exactly what you were thinking of wearing ever since you were in the shower.

After changing into your clothes, you took the stickynote, walked over to your desk for a pen, circled ‘yes’ and stuck it on Connor’s side table then made the bed, just because you love coming home to a neat room.

You had no idea why Connor was suddenly bringing up the random note pasting again out of nowhere but you weren’t going to go against it.

You grabbed your belongings and headed out to the kitchen. On the door that separated the kitchen from the living room, to no one’s surprise; was another note.

4/10 - I know you’re heading to the kitchen to make coffee but please eat something!! Or I’ll kick your butt!! (Okay fine, I won’t. Your butt is too cute to be kicked)

But seriously baby, have something to eat. You’re gonna need the energy for your study session xx

And something hits you. Each note was numbered, which was unusual for him to do and it started to make you wonder; was there something about today that you completely missed?

Connor’s birthday? Nope, that was months ago.

Your birthday? Nope, that was over as well.

Anniversary? Not for another month.

As you stood over the counter, having cereal for breakfast and a glass of water, you shot him a quick text.

iMessage to Baby Con: what’s with all the sticky notes? xx

iMessage from Baby Con: no reason! Felt like showering you with a bit more love todayyyy xxx

And you let it slide. If Connor wants to be a little sweeter today, who were you to tell him to stop?

You went to drop the empty bowl in the sink and opened up one of the cabinets to retrieve your flask so you could fill it with hot coffee. On your flask was another note.

5/10 - You know how the ‘I love you 3000’ became a thing after Endgame? Can we make our own one so it’s more special?

I love you 3011 honey!!

p.s if you don’t get this… I’m seriously gonna pack up and leave you xx

3011; 30th November aka your anniversary.

Connor must be an idiot if he thought you could ever forget that date.

You were finally prepared to leave the apartment and head to the library when you caught a glance of another pink note stuck on the wall right above the shoe rack.

6/10 - Don’t forget to take this umbrella with you, honey! I checked the weather forecast and it’s gonna rain, which sucks. Love you and stay safe! xx

Yeah, he is really the most thoughtful and sweetest guy you’ve ever met.

When you finally met up with Sam in the library, you took out all your books from your bag. You smiled to yourself when you saw another note stuck on one of your binders.

7/10 - Study hard, baby!! But not too hard, please. I don’t want you to overstress yourself. That’s not good for my baby :( Love you, sweets and I’ll see you in a few hours xx

Sam notices you smiling to yourself, looking over the note on your binder. She smirked, reaching across the table and taking the binder out of your hand “Well, well, well, what do we have here?”

You looked up to face her, shaking your head with a smile “Connor’s just being Connor”

“Aww” She cooed, reading over the note “Brashier’s really whipped for you, babe”

You blushed “Yeah, I guess so”

3 hours into discussing over theories and re-reading case studies, you were starting to feel hungry, but you being you, always had the habit of skipping meals when you were in the middle of a study session.

And Connor knew that fact about you so well.

So, when you flipped to the last page of the article you were reading, there sat another note.

8/10 – Congrats on finishing this article! Now, stop studying and go get lunch, baby! You deserve to take a break ❤️

p.s don’t even think about lying to me. I’ll personally ask Sam if you actually ate something xx

“Hey Sam?” You called out to your friend “Wanna go grab lunch now? We’ve been at this for quite some time”

“Oh, thank God” She sighed in relief, shutting her books “I’ve been waiting for you to say that! I’m starving right now”

It was nearly 7pm when you realized how late it was getting. Your brain was burned out and you could see Sam was getting exhausted as well, seeing how you’ve been at the library for about 8 hours now.

You decided it was time to call it a day and went ahead packing all your stuff. After bidding goodbye to her at the library entrance, you headed towards the direction of home.

Pushing the front door to your shared apartment open, you made sure to lock it after letting yourself in. You took off your shoes and picked them up to place it on the rack when you noticed a new note stuck on the wall.

9/10 - are you today’s date? xx

You re-read the question, getting more confused by it. Was your brain too tired to even function or did that question made zero sense at all?

“Connor?” You called out to him as you walked deeper into the apartment “You home, love?”

“Yeah! ‘M in the kitchen, babe!” You heard him respond back to you.

You dropped your bag and headed for the kitchen, where you found him and a bouquet of roses and a box of pizza to share for the night on the counter “Hi bubs” You said, stunned by the flowers.

You definitely weren’t expecting flowers to be present for a regular dinner night.

“Hi baby” He greeted you with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to your lips “How was your day at the library?”

“Long” You noted then your eyes trailed over to the bouquet behind him, skeptically asking him “What’s with the flowers, Con? Is there a special occasion that I missed?”

Connor smirked in reply, shaking his head “No occasion. Just your answer to the 9th sticky note”

“You mean the ‘are you today’s date?’ question?” You asked confusingly “What does that have to do with getting me flowers, honey?”

“Take a closer look at the flowers and you’ll find out, baby”

Still stunned, you walked towards the island and admired the rosses. You see a card sticking out from the bouquet and as you unfolded it, you felt like your heart could burst at what was written inside.

Because you’re definitely 10/10, sweets! And I love you always xx

p.s I really hope you understand this or my brilliant idea has just gone to waste

It finally hits you; are you today’s date? Because you’re 10/10.

10th October; today’s date.

Connor walks over to you, places his hand on your waist as he pressed a kiss to your head “Do you get it now?” He asked, grinning widely.

You look up at him and he sees the laugh that’s trying to escape from your lips “Are you trying to tell me you did all this so you could tell me I’m 10/10, Connor D. Brashier?”

“I thought of this last year and had to wait a whole year to do it so, yes” He said proudly “Because you really are a 10/10, babe”

You cooed, wrapping your arms around him “This is the cheesiest shit you’ve ever done but it’s all so very cute. I love you so much and thank you for entertaining me with your little notes today, bubs”

“’M only cheesy when it comes to you, sweets” He told you, pressing a kiss to your clothed shoulder “Because you’re the only one I love”

“You’re the absolute ray of sunshine in my life, bubs” You sighed happily “And hey, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a 10/10 to me”

He looks at you amusedly with his eyebrows furrowed “Is that supposed to make me feel good?”

“Yeah because you’re way more than a 10 to me, bubs. And I thank all the stars in the sky that I’m lucky enough to have you as my boyfriend”

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Reblog, like or leave a comment; always appreciated!  ❤️

x rina

TAG LIST:

@hurts-like-hell-xx @connordavidscamera @r3ader @tinycertain @green-lxght @queenmxndes @turtoix

[imakemyownworld]

When The Party’s Over pt.2

Part One

This is longish.

It is only a second part and Im setting some foundations for the fic therefore there’s not much of Ethan here but more of my (Bellas) struggles and relationship with Lucas. Somewhere in the middle of this I realised it was half biographical. I always had the strong urge to write about my own life and experiences as I never talk about them (as Bella) irl. I promise the next part will be all about E. :)

Also, if you do read this, please give me some critiques. I know it’s not nearly perfect and I would love to get some feedback. I just recently made this tumblr after being a fan of Gray and E for a good while now and I’m so happy I did. All the people I see here seem so genuinely interesting, funny, creative and nice. Thank you ! xx

Exactly one week has passed since I last saw Ethan. He sent me some messages but I didn't reply, I knew he was busy making a video and that he is going home tomorrow to visit his family for Thanksgiving. My family group chat was going crazy though. My sister who is living in Europe couldn’t book a flight and I wasn't replying to any messages. I just couldn't find the strength to do so, so I figured I'll just show up tomorrow morning, get through the weekend and come back.

I spent the rest of the day studying and scrolling through every possible social network then went to sleep ignoring every text I got.

I'm there in an hour. Xx I texted the group chat as I sat down in my car and turned the engine on. I skimmed through other messages. Ethan was complaining about something Grayson did and Ivy had boy issues. Did I want to see a text from Lucas? Sure, but I never expected one. It's Thanksgiving and everyone is with their families.

I met Lucas two years ago at a film festival in Los Angeles. I was there because I love cinema and Ethan managed to get me some tickets and Lucas was studying film at university near by. At that time I was probably at worst with my depression and anxiety as I just started taking classes at my university. He asked Ivy and me if we wanted to go to the after party and we didn't think twice about it. I never thought I would be someone who does drugs, I was always strongly against it. But he made it seem so normal. He was handsome, to me. He was skinny and every shirt was too big for him. Later I realised those shirts were fine before, but he lost weight. Still, there was something about him. He was mysterious, he loved photography and he talked about movies non stop. He acted cool but I could tell how passionate he is about things he loves. Both of us had something dark in us but neither one of us wanted to talk about it and we understood that about each other. From the moment we met and our friends started hanging out each other everybody already thought we were together. We would tease each other all the time while dancing and hanging around but since we were both kind of distant when sober we were scared to do anything about it. All until one night he kissed me. He kissed me like it was something we do all the time, but it wasn't. He didn't acknowledge it the next day and I remember freaking out about it with Ivy. Next time I saw him it took me every singe atom of bravery in my body to ask him about it. I remember it like it was yesterday. I called him and we separated from our friend group, we walked along the beach in Venice on a chilly summer night.

“Do you remember that we kissed?” I asked him in the middle of his sentence. He froze for a bit and then he made the grimace I couldn't decipher. 

“No” he said quietly “When?” he was looking at me and I could tell that he felt horrible. I tried to look as if I don't care and I was ready to brush it off.

“At the club, last weekend. It’s fine, I just wanted to clear that up. I wasn’t sure if you didn't want to acknowledge it or just don’t remember” I turned around to get back to where our friends were.

“Stop” he took my hand and I felt relief “Im really sorry. You know how I am, I go overboard sometimes and I do things...” he stopped talking. Do things he usually wouldn't? If so, I didnt want to hear about it. I pulled my hand from him.

“...do things I would usually be scared of doing” he said almost painfully. Knowing him today, I know how hard that must have been for him. After that things started heating up between us two. We were never together, we knew that would never work out as we couldn’t communicate normally when sober. But we silently cared about each other, even though we never said it out loud.

At that festival after party we were dancing when he handed me half of the pill and kissed my cheek. I looked at it for a while then looked at him. He was dancing and smiling, seemed so carefree. If someone told me a month ago I would be holding that in my hand I wouldn’t believe them. Even then it looked so wrong in my hand. And then I took it and it was the best night of my life.

We kept on partying like that every other weekend. We didn’t know much about each other but we also knew everything. We would take something then hook up and sleep for what seemed like hours, or minutes. Sometimes I was so out of it I didnt know if I was dreaming or not. We shared those times together, he was the only one I wasn’t ashamed to be around like this. He understood.

My dad opened the door for me and we hugged.

“Hello beautiful”

“Hi dad” he smelled like mom's cooking. I did miss them. “Smells nice in here”

“I feel like there's enough for the whole neighborhood”

I got in and the table was already set up. My mom hugged me and instantly started talking about my sister. How sad she is that she isn't here. I said something back quickly and sat down.

My parents were an unusual kind. They always had my back and supported me through everything as far as school and university go. But I was always the one who had to be home by midnight or not go out at all. I had to lie that I was having a sleepover so that I could go out and have fun with my friends. My mom still believes I never tried alcohol in my whole  life and Im twenty. We were also never the kind of family that talked a lot about feelings and things going on outside of school. I could never talk about boyfriends with my mom or fights I had with my friends. This caused bottling a lot of emotions through my whole life. Ethan had to beg me to talk with him to find out why I was miserable at times. He was the one person I would actually tell what was going on. I never got along with my sister either, we were just two very different people and I always thought: If I met her randomly I would never want to be her friend. Seems harsh, but she was selfish and stubborn, always only looking out for herself and not giving a fuck if she was hurting someone else in the process.

Lunch was actually amazing, my mom made my favorite meals. They crashed on the sofa soon after and started watching some terrible movie and I went to check in my old room.

I must have fallen asleep while watching youtube because it was dark when I opened my eyes. I came down to the living room and heard mom and dad talking in the backyard. I took my moms phone to check the time.

I miss you. It said. William.

My head felt blank for a second. I quickly turned the phone back off.

William was my moms ex boss. I sat down and my head started spinning around. I combined the pluses and minuses, filled in the blanks. Things started making sense. My mom became very sensitive to anyone touching her phone a while back. Before, she never cared about it. I gathered strength and opened the message. It was the only one in the conversation, everything else was wiped clean. I quickly marked it as unread and put the phone back. Fuck.Is my mom cheating on my dad? My head started spinning even more. Poor dad. Should I tell anyone? I can’t tell anyone we can’t even say I miss you to each other let alone Are you having an affair? My poor dad loves mom with all his heart, he does everything for her and she was never truly in love with him. My sister and I realised since we were teenagers that mom acts cold with dad. She doesn’t like it when dad shows her any kind of affection.

“There you are!” mom barged in and I almost jumped in my seat. “You okay? Mike and I were just talking about going for a walk, you’re coming too”

“Ugh, I just woke up” I wasn’t sure I’m mentally ready for that walk.

“Exactly, you need to stretch”

The whole walk I was thinking about my mom. The time when I thought my mom was always in the right was long gone, but this was on a whole new level. How can I take her seriously ever again? She lost all the credibility. How can she pretend to be happy with my dad? If I told him about this it would ruin him. If I told her...Nothing seems like the right option. I don’t want my family to fall apart. We are a bit dysfunctional, but this seems like a scene from a movie and I cant take it. I had to get out of there.

When we got home mom brought us pie and turned on the TV.

“Guys, I’m sorry but I need to get back today. I have a seminar to write” I was nitpicking the pie on my plate.

“Write it here?” dad proposed and it seemd like a reasonable idea “You can take my laptop”

“Yeah but I don’t have my books. Sorry. I might come by next weekend if Emma books that ticket” I smiled at them. It was so natural for me to act like this around them. I was hiding things from them my whole life.

My mom argued with me for a while but she soon realised my mind was set. When the movie finished I took some clothes from my old closet and said goodbye to them. I felt so sorry for my dad, I hugged him tightly and he even said I love you to my ear. I haven’t heard that sentence in months.

I dialed Lucas’s number while driving down the highway.

“Hey danger” he answered almost immediately.

“Hey. Happy Thanksgiving. What are you up to?” I tried to seem chill but my voice was almost cracking.

“Uh, not much. Classic Thanksgiving laying around”

“You up for a sesh?” I was always afraid of him declining me which is why I was rarely the the one to ask him stuff like this.

“What, now? What’s wrong?” he asked that in the most monotone voice but I knew it meant a lot coming from him.

“Lucas.” I sighed and my voice broke down at the end of his name. He was silent for a moment.

“Pick me up. Im sending you the location”

I felt relieved. We haven’t hung out alone in a while and I missed it. I needed an hour to get to him, he was at his parents place. The house was actually very pretty. I know his parents are divorced and his mom remarried, he doesn’t talk about them much but I get the feeling she is worried about him and he doesn’t like that. And now I’m dragging him out on a Thanksgiving weekend. Suddenly I felt even more terrible.

Lucas sat in the car and I was just looking through the windshield.

“Bro, what happened?” he took the aux cord and connected his phone.

“I just realised I dragged you out and you were with your family and it’s Thanksgiving.”

“Yes. Because I love spending quality time with my perfect family. Come on, there’s not a lot of dealers working on Thanksgiving you know that?” Soundtrack 2 my life started playing through the speakers. He loved that song and it made me depressed. After that, he never once asked what had happened, he knew better and I appreciated it.

“Dealers? I have everything in my flat”

“Not this” he smiled devilishly to me and typed in the address in his phone.

“So in one hour you managed to find the guy? Seems to me like you were just waiting for my call. What are we taking?” I was driving down his neighborhood. We were the only people on the street.

“Been waiting on this for a while. You’ll see”

The address wasn’t that far away. I parked and he left, came back two minutes later.

“Church?”

Church was the most trashy techno club in the area, it was a dump but it was always open and the atmosphere was always great.

We parked near the club and started drinking rum that he brought from his place. I was doing my makeup with the help from his flashlight and my front camera. I took the cropped top from the back of the car and put it on. I felt wrong to be happy at this moment but I was. I was with him and I knew we were going to have fun.

“You gonna tell me what it is now? You know I’m not doing heroin or anything like that”

“Jesus. Of course not” he pulled the baggy out of his pocket. “Ketamine”

I had zero clue what that is. Everything I knew about drugs came from Lucas.

“You’ll see later.” he says and I can’t believe I have so much trust in him to just get on with it but at this moment I don’t care. He takes out a pill from his pocket and breaks it in half.

“You have a whole pharmacy out there” I say and swallow the pill.

“Shut up” he laughs. We are both pretty tipsy by now as we start walking to the club. I pay for the entrance and we’re finally there. This is where I felt at home. How weird is that? The lasers, lights, annoyingly loud house music. The music I could never listen to sober, it drives me insane.

I opened my eyes to see Lucas sleeping next to me, sun was shining through closed curtains. I fell asleep again and I dreamt about last night. Dancing, kissing Lucas and him kissing me. I dreamt that I woke up and walked around the apartment. I showered. Was that a dream? I was asleep again. It was nighttime. Lucas and I were rolling around the bed desperate for each other, desperate to feel something, anything.

It was night when I finally definitely woke up. I checked the time on my bedside table. It was 3am on Sunday. Lucas was sitting on the window next to the bed smoking.

“Hi” I wanted to say but all I said was a weak I

“Morning” he turned his head to face me “Magnesium next to your bed. Drink it”

I took the glass from the bed table and wasted a good three minutes to take two sips. Lucas was looking at me the whole time with a massive grin on his face.

“I need to shower”

“You showered three hours ago” he said and I looked at him confused.

“So I wasn’t dreaming?”

He shook his head.

“Did we have sex? Like, in those three hours?” I asked not looking at him.

“What? No. Did you dream about that?” He threw the cigarette in the ashtray and went under the covers. I just looked at him and he smiled again.

“When did we get home?”

“Around 7AM. We slept through the whole Saturday. As far as I remember” he removed all of my hair from my face and made a bun out of it.

“I don’t even want to know what I look like”

“Do you remember the night out?” he prompted himself on the elbow to face me.

“I don’t know. We were dancing?”

“You..” he stopped and lied back down “I didn’t want to give you any more, of anything, because you had too much” coming from Lucas this meant something because I’m usually the one to stop him from going too far “So you just disappeared and..”

“What?” I hated not remembering anything.

“I dont know. You took something and you came back after ten minutes totally out of it. We stayed for and hour after that because you didn’t want to leave. After that I got us in an uber and we came here.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Look, something obviously happened during the weekend, I won't ask but you should know better than take something from strangers. You scared me” he glanced at me. I remembered the moment. I was acting like a brat. It must’ve looked ridiculous. I left him and found some girls snorting something in the bathroom. We talked for a while, I think one of them was coming on to me. I said that I was here with a friend but he didn’t want to give me anything so they offered. I had no idea what it was. What was I thinking?

“Im stupid” I told him about what happened “Im sorry. I found out that my mom is having an affair. But, I also suspected that for a while now. My mind was spiraling and I guess I overdid it”

We were quiet for a few moments.

“I’m sorry” he turned to face me and we stared at each other for a while.

“Is it bad that I love the high so much that I’m not at all regretting any of this? It’s the only time I feel happy”

“I don’t know” he answered “If you think I’ll reason you, you asked the wrong guy. I’m in the same spot” we both smiled, but his eyes were filled with sadness. I wonder if mine were too? We would only talk like this high. Our sober conversations didn’t exist, they were empty and meaningless. We hid behind walls that would come down every once in a while, and I cherished those moments. I kissed him softly and fell asleep in his arms soon after

I woke up at noon, Lucas was still sleeping and Im pretty sure he was missing a class, as I was. I wondered if he stayed because he wanted to or because he was taking care of me. I rarely got to see the sensitive side of him that I longed for. I would try and push his buttons sometimes asking him ridiculously touchy-feely questions and he would just laugh it off and tell me to shut up. But I saw in his eyes that he wanted to tell me things but didnt know how to. I knew for a fact that he didn’t have the best relationship with his parents ether, they didn’t speak about things and even if they wanted to I can’t imagine Lucas opening up to anyone, especially his parents.

I remembered almost all of last night. Lucas wasn’t having fun, he was mostly looking after me. I was usually the one giving him water, asking him if he was fine because he would look like a zombie. Sometimes I would only go out because I was scared that no one would be taking care of him. When we started hanging out we were both fairly knew to all of this but I could see how fascinated he was with all of it. I was too. My world went from black and white to technicolor. My, usually, messed up head that was overthinking everything and anything felt blank. It was just living in the moment, swaying on the dancefloor with the people you love.

But seeing him at his worst was painful to watch. It wasn't fun anymore, it made me see the dark side of things. When the high wears off you feel ten times more depressed and ten times more eager to go to the next party, and then the next one. Until your life just becomes waiting. Waiting to get high and drunk and feel things.

Realizing that made me never want to do drugs again, but that would last a couple of days. What scared me was that I knew that even after last night, when Lucas saw me at my probably lowest, he would never think about leaving it. It was captivating, appealing to him. It didn't scare him at all.

I was taking a shower when he knocked at my door.

"Bell, you have a visitor. I’m going out okay?" I soon heard a door swing shut. A visitor? I had come up with at least ten people who would come here after me not looking at my phone for three days straight and I was scared to see every single one of them. God, I hope it wasn’t Ethan meeting Lucas.

I dressed and got out of the bathroom to see Emily standing behind my kitchen counter. She wouldn't even be on the list of fifty people to come here. What was Ethans girlfriend doing in my apartment? And why didnt I clean up a bit?

[myukamokunazu]

Whiskey Bubbles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16372403

Category: Gen Relationship:  Bakusquad - Platonic Characters: Kaminari Denki, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki's Family, Bakugou Katsuki, Ashido Mina, Sero Hanta, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Class 1-A Additional Tags: villain OC, Minor oc, Self-Denial, Self-Doubt, Self-Acceptance, Dad Aizawa, Genderfluid Kaminari Denki, Unreliable Narrator, Kaminari Denki-centric, Comatose Kaminari Denki, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Ok... So there was supposed to be some dadzawa..., But there didn't end up being a lot, Songfic, Kaminari Denki Angs

It was 6:48, I was walking home

Stepped through the gate, and I'm all alone...

When Kaminari Denki is on his way back to the dorms, from a visit home, he finds himself affected by a strange quirk. The only way to escape from this quirk is to solve the rabbit hole of memories he denies.

Chapter 1: Fake it Until it Bubbles to The Point You Can't

Kaminari Denki walked slowly and wondered what he would say. He couldn't wear a hood in class and he doubted that he could get away with a face mask. He didn't want to explain the new bruises or the belt buckle imprints to Recovery Girl. Hiding these knew indents would prove difficult. He wondered if the class would believe he fell down the stairs while trying to put on a new belt? They likely would. He had said that his last belt had broken last week. It would make sense that that would happen if he was rushing to beat the dorm curfew.

“Hello? You there, boy? Can you get the police or a hero? I need some help,” A voice came. The creaking voice resounded down the alley he was passing. Kaminari walked down the alley and helped the elder woman. He reached a gloved hand down and she clasped it. Her grip was tight and not at all what he expected from the fragile looking woman. He felt a sharp flash of pain in his chest. He ignored it. He was sore all over so it didn’t make much difference. He pulled her up.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to call someone or escort you somewhere?” Kaminari looked around. The area was very desolate. He hoped she could get home.

“Oh, child thank you. But no, it looks more like you could use my help,” she said. Kaminari blinked. He didn’t know what to make of that. Did she have some healing quirk? Before he could ask what she meant she grabbed the bare skin of his wrists. Her brown eyes flashed gold. She let go and he noticed he was starting to feel better. He was glad he didn’t have to come up with a lie, but still, he was surprised.

“Thank you, but are you sure you’re fine?” Kaminari couldn’t help but ask. He really did want to run through. If aura could be seen he was sure that it would slowly be fading to black. The lady just had a tension about her.

She nodded and he left.

The almost eerie feeling followed him. He couldn’t seem to shake it no matter where he was or what he was doing. He made his way to Kita-Urawa Transit Station. 54 minutes later the Transit came to a stop. He got off at the Ueno-Okachimachi Station. He got up and walked from the station to the McDonald’s around the corner. He picked up a couple of large fries and a burger. He decided it would be good to get back to school after that. It really wouldn’t do to get detention.

He turned his mind from those thoughts and made his way back to Musutafu.

It was 6:48, I was walking home

Stepped through the gate, and I'm all alone

A sigh of relief almost left Kaminari as he saw the school gates. It felt cold with that odd, terrifying feeling all over again. He held up his Student ID Card to get past the barrier. Getting inside didn’t help with the sensation that he wasn’t safe. He hoped to see someone soon. He figured anyone, even Mineta, would do.

He kept walking. He still felt so alone.

He knew he wouldn’t be for long though. He didn’t miss curfew so everyone would still be up. It wasn’t 7 yet, so he could check the kitchen and see if anyone was still eating. He went straight to the kitchen and grabbed an apple. He hoped to sit on the counter and took a huge bite. He’d just started chewing when he’d heard Iida.

“Kaminari, It is not appropriate to sit on the counter. It is quite disrespectful to the school and everyone who uses the counter,” he said. It seemed as if he would be able to fill pages with reasons for why not to sit on something. Kaminari blinked and put a smirk on his face.

“Alright,” He said. He raised an eyebrow raised, before jumping atop the fridge and finishing it there. Iida still wasn’t happy with him being on top of the furniture. Kaminari vaguely wondered if doing this was cruel to the boy. He blocked it out. He looked over to the living room. He seemed to have caught a few stray glances, but most still were watching t.v. He looked down at Iida. “What are they watching? I can’t tell from here.”

Iida pushed up his glasses and stated that they were watching various Disney movies. Apparently, Aladdin was supposed to be next. Kaminari had a sudden thought: how much longer will I be here? How much longer can I make them happy? I feel like it won’t be long now. I want, no, need to go overboard. Kaminari kicked off his shoes and curled up there until he heard the start of Aladdin. Iida started reaching for him and ‘One Jump Ahead’ started playing. Kaminari sang to it. “ Gotta keep,” Kaminari jumped to the counter. He was especially careful to not get caught by Iida’s arms. “One jump ahead of the breadline,” Kaminari danced back away from Iida’s grasp. He had to strain himself to hear the music now more than before.

As if sensing his dilemma, Jirou turned the t.v. up. Though, it could have been that she was also watching him as she seemed to be hiding her laughter. “I steal only what I can't afford,~” Kaminari sang loudly. It didn’t sound good since he was restraining his own laughter. He jumped to a table.

“And that’s everything!” He and Jirou yelled. She was laughing more than he was. Even some others of the class had started to giggle at his makeshift attempts to be Aladdin.

He started jumping to all the tables to avoid the swing of Iida’s hands. He didn’t want his stage performance to be cut short. “One jump ahead of the lawmen. That's all, and that's no joke. These guys don't appreciate I'm broke,” Kaminari shrugs and tries not to grin.

He honestly didn’t expect for Iida to join in on the song. “Riffraff! Street rat! Scoundrel! Take that!” Iida seemed just as surprised that he joined in as Kaminari did. It didn’t take long for some of the others to join in too. Midoriya and Uraraka joined him in being guards and Sero joined Kaminari. He took on the role of Abu.

Sero hung his tape all over the ceiling and Kaminari gladly swung on them. One piece, however, broke, due to his rough swinging, before he hit his mark. He ended up have strung over the couch in between Momo and Jirou. “Oh, it's sad, Aladdin has hit the bottom. He's become a one-man rise in crime,” The two sang, Kirishima and Ashido happily joining in.

“I'd blame parents except he hasn't got 'em,” Even Bakugou chimed in, likely due to the pushy Kirishima next to him. Kaminari ran all around the room. Randomly choosing to swing from the tape. He ran up a couple of the stairs to the doors and turned around. He reached for a piece of the tape.

“Here goes, better throw my hand in. Wish me happy landin'. All I gotta do is jump!”

Kaminari realized too late that what he did was not a good idea. The tape snapped, yet again. He flinched. Though the small jolt didn’t look like one. He was started to fall. He braced himself, though he didn’t really have to. Iida caught him.

“You would make a terrible Aladdin,” Jirou said.

“Haha, Yeah. You’re right. I guess the guards won, huh?” Kaminari started looking around. “Abu!” He yelled. His voice was light and he tried to make sure it wasn’t weighed down by any of his laughter. Sero saw the fake seriousness for what it was and playfully tried to sneak away. “You were supposed to help me,” Kaminari said. It came out more like a whine though. Sero laughed at the pitiful squeak that was Kaminari’s voice. Kaminari plopped on the ground in front of the couch.

Ashido, being the one behind him, started braiding random parts of his hair. This continued until everyone was to go to bed.

The next day, they went to class. Kaminari tried to pay attention, though it was hard, It always was though. Still, something the teacher would saw caught his attention more than others. “HEE, HIGH TENSION!” Present Mic cut himself off as he saw a bug.

She walked down to the market. They stared at her. “Makeup is for girls.” She wasn’t a he, but wasn’t she?

He found himself standing in the middle of Present Mic’s class. Thankfully it was one of the few classes he did decently in. It was also his favorite. He really looked up to Present Mic. Still, he was standing in the middle of class. He also noticed he was in a daze. “Kaminari? Why are you standing?” The teacher asked, and hot damn, Kaminari wished he knew the answer.

“I think I left my clothes in the washing machine yesterday? Hey Sero, do you know if I did?” The lie came out of his mouth as smooth as butter. Sero raised an eyebrow and smirked at him.

“Do you even know how to do laundry?”

“Ya-Yeah! Of course, I do!”

Present Mic laughed. He always did. It was almost as if he welcomed the distractions sometimes. Still, though, they had to learn. “Alright, settle down. We still have some writing TA DO!” The classroom steadily became more hectic as Present Mic started teaching.

Lunch came soon enough. Today, he sat next to Ashido and the rest of the Bakusquad.

“Hey, Kami, what was up in English class?” Ashido asked. Kaminari shrugged.

“Don’t know. Just a weird feeling, ya know? But, hey, if you had to establish civilization on an island what would your first rule be?” Kaminari throws the topic off track. Though the question was bound to spur an odd conversation. Ashido gripped her chin.

“Hmm, Rule 1 would have to be ‘Everyone has to be nice or as punishment, they can’t dance with everyone else and instead have to dance in their cell’!” She said. Bakugou scoffed. She turned to him with a pout. “Do you have something better?”

“Of course! If they piss me off they have to die!” Bakugou said. Needless to say, no one was surprised.

“OH! I know! Everyone has to do what they can to live without regrets. That’d be so manly,” Kirishima said. Kaminari almost wondered if the conversation seemed too serious. He hoped it would end up a lot funnier.

Monoma had passed their table and a cucumber fell off his tray. Kaminari jumped. He jumped so high he ended up on a tree branch above their heads. Monoma laughed and taunted him with the cucumber and some of the other students giggled at his antics. Ashido compared him to a cat.

Monoma threw the cucumber up and Kaminari flinched back violently. Why the fuck am I terrified of that? It’s just a vegetable. That familiar buzzing under his skin was back. With practiced ease, his panic took over and electrified the closest objects. The tree and the cucumber. Kaminari felt his skin quake in discomfort.

He didn’t notice that Kendo had come over and smacked Monoma over the head.

This brought out more giggles.

“We should get you a cat hoodie. You would be such a meme online! Like, no jokes, you are just like the cat videos,” Ashido said. At his silence, she looked straight at him. Clammy, pale skin paired with a trembling body. She was filled with regret. “Kami? Hey, you okay?” He looked down at her. His eyes were almost animalistic. Eyelids flashing down, redding his eyes of panic.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. That was really an overreaction, huh?” His face was so blank it scared her.

“It’s fine to be afraid of things. I honestly thought you were mimicking the cat videos.” The clouds of numbness cleared from his appearance.

The rest of the day passed by. It was uneventful. When classes ended, Kaminari went to do his homework. Usually, he’d put it off, hang with the Bakusquad or Jirou. Or, anyone. It’s not like he’s picky about who he’s around. His dorm room was propped open slightly and people, from time to time, would glance in. Confusion always laced their features. Kaminari didn’t mind. It was weird after all.

He spent a few hours studying, not that it helped much. He was only barely passing. He checked the time. 5:43. He went down to check the laundry machine and dryer. No. Not his clothes. He must have been mistaken earlier, though it was said while he was in a daze.

Kaminari entered the kitchen throwing a wave at Kirishima, Ashido, and Momo. Kirishima was at the table with Ashido. Momo was watching t.v. and drinking some tea.

He went to the fridge and pulled out some leftover fried chicken.

I had chicken on the plate, but the food was cold

Then I covered up my face so that no one knows

She tugged on the grey sleeves of her dress. It wasn’t really her dress. It was her mom’s dress. Her mom would never buy her a dress though. She threw a yellow hoodie over it and went outside. She didn’t really think it was that weird of her. She always left the house around this time to get something to eat at the gas station down the street. Still, people stared at her.

Confusion. Disgust. Unease.

Mothers covered children’s eyes and she couldn’t understand why. She looked down at herself. A grey dress that went down to her knees. A yellow hoodie with lightning bolts. Black tennis shoes. There was nothing wrong with her appearance. Was there? Was it her hair?

It was short. Lots of girls had short hair, though.

She decided to put it out of her mind for now. It didn’t matter to her.

She went around the small food aisle and grabbed a donburi bento, for 500 yen. It had gyudon. She liked it since it reminded her of hamburger. They were both beef after all. She scanned the isle some more. She grabbed a steamed bun for 200 yen. Then she got some Karaage fried chicken for 500 yen.

She went up to the counter to pay for the food. She got out 1500 yen. She handed the money to the man and he gave her change back. She was glad that he didn't just say a huge amount and expect her to count it out. She was terrible at math and she knew it. Berated herself for it.

She started walking home but was pulled aside by a teenager. She heard people throw out whispers of ‘delinquent’ and ‘does she know that boy?’ She figured that meant it was bad to be around him.

“Hello? I kinda have to get home before my mommy gets home,” she said. She wasn’t sure what to do.

“You’re a boy, aren’t you? You go to school with my brother. Who knew there was such a freak in his class?” The boy laughed. Another boy seemed to come up from behind and started pushing her forward. Then the other boy pushed her back. All the movement made her drop her sack of food.

“Stop!” She cried. It drew some attention toward them. No one moved to stop it though.

She kept getting pushed around until she curled into a ball. The pain continued and her skin started to tingle. A small crackle rang in her hands. She wouldn’t have been able to hear it if her hands weren’t over her ears. The tingling spread. It encased all her skin. It burned and she just wished that it would go away.

One of the boys went to kick her in the stomach and she arched her back out of its way. The tingles left and spread throughout the ground and everything touching it. Though it never passed the boys. She blinked away a few tears. A hero, Enveloping Bubble, was there. She and the boys were in a bubble. It hadn’t been there before. At least, she didn’t think so. Everything was foggy. Well, everything but the pain.

The bubble came down and the two boys sped away, but they didn’t get far before they were trapped in a bubble.

Enveloping Bubble came over and asked if she was alright. She wanted to say yes. She tried to. She couldn’t though. She didn’t know when she started standing or when she bumped into the wall. The crowd laughed and after 20 minutes left. The hero stayed there though. He watched her. She wanted to thank him and say she doesn’t need the attention, no matter how much she craves it, but couldn’t. Everything still hurt. Her mind felt as if it was shattered. She couldn’t think a coherent thought with more than five words in it.

Her finger caught an electrical outlet as she bumped into the wall again. The zap of the current seemed to clear her mind some, though she noticed it also freaked out a couple people. That included the kind hero who was trying to keep her safe.

An ambulance had arrived. The hero had probably called for it a while ago.

The hero and others watching tried to usher her into the ambulance. She blinked. “Oh, I’m sorry? I can’t do that. I’m fine, I just need to get home. Mommy will be getting off work soon.”

The hero made her promise to tell her parents about what happened. She nodded, thanked him, and went to pick up her bag of food.

I didn't want trouble, I'm the boy in the bubble

But then came trouble

“Kaminari? Hey, you okay, bro?” Kirishima said, waving a hand in front of the other teen’s face. Kirishima grabbed Kaminari’s wrist and Kaminari flinched. “Kami-bro?” Kirishima’s voice shook and his head tilted.

Kaminari blinked and rubbed her his eyes. Kaminari’s eyes drifted over to Kirishima, then trailed down his arm to where their skin met.

“Hey, Kirishima. Sorry, was I blocking the fridge? I was just getting out some of the leftover fried chicken. Want some?” Kaminari asked with a furrowed brow.

“Nah, bro. I was… You kept opening and closing the fridge as if you were in a daze. You’ve been here for 15 minutes, ya know?” Kaminari’s shoulders hunched in contempt for herself himself. She’d He’d made someone as kind and loving as Kirishima worried.

“Oh, sorry. I guess I blanked,” Kaminari said. She He rubbed the back of her his neck and her his head slightly bowed. “You don’t think any of the food spoilt, do you?” They both looked at the fridge. Simultaneous, they reached in and pulled out some of the food. They smirked at each other before biting in.

“Is he really okay?” Kaminari heard Momo ask Ashido. She He flinched. She He couldn’t tell why it hurt. He? He? It was wrong. But she was wrong too?

“Who knows? I've seen him do some strange things when he’s fried himself. It could’ve just been that?” Ashido didn’t seem convinced at her own explanation. Still, they dropped it.

Not he? Not she? NOT HE? NOT SHE?NOTHE?NOTSHE?

“I think it’s still good, bro,” Kirishima said. He was loud, boisterous, but not yelling. Still, his energy seemed to make everyone relax. They had a good time after that. It was seven before they started getting ready for bed and chilling in the dorms or living room. Ashido had convinced a few people to dance on the couch with her to some music. Kaminari would have joined in, though he felt he should look up what was making him feel this way.

‘Why do I not feel like a girl or a boy sometimes?’

Confused and clueless [gender identity confusion] - Gender …

https://www.asexuality.org › Identities › Gender Discussion

Feb 5, 2014 - 6 posts - 4 authors

But it's not like I want to do it as a girl - I'd want a guys body to dress like ... bigender ( feeling both male and female ) or genderfluid (sometimes …

Non-Binary Gender Identity Explained | Teen Vogue

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-is-non-binary-gender

Feb 12, 2016 - Here's What It Means When You Don't Identify as a Girl or a Boy . "Non-binary gender is any gender that isn't exclusively male or female . ... Sometimes people confuse gender with sex, and while the two words are related, .... Parts of my body feel like they should be male , others feel like nothing just neutral.

Nonbinary? No? Maybe? Genderfluid… It sounds right? But that’s not HIM. I HAVE to be a HIM. Right?

Kaminari felt drained. He set an alarm for 7:00 in the morning and went to bed.

"When my mom walked into the living room

She said, "Boy, you gotta tell me what they did to you"

Kaminari sat in the living room. She knew she should have taken off the girl clothes, but they felt right. At least, they did at the moment. She was a boy though. She wasn’t supposed to go outside of what’s considered normal or standard behavior for a boy. Her mom didn’t like it when she did that.

She was five now. She knew better.

It was too late.

She pulled her hood up as the front door creaked open.

“Honey, I’m home!”

“Welcome home mommy,” Kaminari said meekly. She cowered into herself for a second before jumping over the couch and running to her room. The epitome of manliness for a boy her age.

“Denki? Something wrong dear?”

“No!” Her mom’s footsteps neared her room. The door opened.

“Denki? Is that… My sweater dress?”

I said, "You don't wanna know the things I had to do"

She said, "Son, you gotta tell me why you're black and blue"

The day passed like any other. Aizawa-sensei’s class was quiet. He got distracted in it yet again. He tapped his hands on the metal of the chair. Ashido’s hair just looked so fluffy. He just wanted to touch it. Ashido looked at him. She just glanced quickly, but it was enough to catch his attention. She held her phone and tapped it twice. He wanted to smile and nod but then they’d definitely get caught by Aizawa-sensei.

AM: Hey Denki this is SOOOO boring!;-;!

KD: Ya but think on the bright side?

AM: What bright side??? BORED!!!

KD: Well??? There’s always something happening in class? Or, uh? Did you ever notice that Aizawa-Sensei is so cat-like???

The pink girl could barely muffle her laughter. She threw her head back slightly and gripped her shaking body.

AM: OMG WTF do you mean? LOL

KD: Well??? I mean? Like he takes cat naps all the time and he totally pretends not to care about things when he does. He’s kind to us but he doesn’t want to be around us a lot? Like a cat that lets people pet him only when he wants to???

AM: LOL… That is so fukin beautiful Denki!

AM: Like srsly 0////0 Aced how Aizawa-Sensei is!

KD: I feel like I started something bad…

AM: Hell yea. You did! Not bored anymore tho.

KD: Must have been worth it then, Mina?

AM: Thx. <3 you Denki!!!

Kaminari’s smile gave them away. Their phones were confiscated and Kaminari had a feeling that Aizawa-Sensei read the messages about him. He glared at the two all throughout class.

Once lunchtime hit, the bakusquad took their usual places at the table. The group was always loud and seemed to garner some attention for it. No one ever took them seriously though. Except for Bakugou sometimes.

Today the conversation started with his short, sweet, romantic tryst with a coworker from the cafe he worked at. They knew he worked, as did the teachers, but not where.

“Oh, shut up you damn Phone Charger! No one cares about your piss for shit love life!”

“But, Bakubabe,” He whined. It was childish and he knew it. He couldn’t help it.  “You have the personality of a dead sewer rat. No way you can flirt better than I can!”

“Oh, Denki, my baby,” Ashido griefed. “Be nice to your brother’s boyfriend.”

“Yes, be nice to your future brother-in-law, or you’ll end up chasing him away,” Sero said in the most dad-like voice he could muster.

“Hey,” He said softly. Ashido looked over. She wondered if something was wrong. “If potatoes had eyes do you think they’d be colorblind or that they would see like us?”

Ashido covered her mouth and nose area as she let out a gaggle of sorts and giggles. “Denki, where do you come up with this stuff?” Her pink cheeks flushed and those around could hardly tell. Kaminari tried to pay attention to the subtle things about his friends. He made a point to know what makes them tick and what makes them over the moon with joy. He wasn’t sure he could ever forget a friend’s birthday.

He shrugged to his hyper friend. Bakugou raised an eyebrow and whispered to Kirishima. Kaminari blinked over to the two though that did nothing to settle his confusion.

I said I didn't want trouble, I'm the boy in the bubble

But then came trouble"

He was itchy. There was a buzzing in -no, under- his skin. He wanted to scratch at his arms, dig the pulses out. He couldn't though. He was fighting. When he asked who though, the blurred light would laugh. He punched and kicked toward the noise even after the light would go. He just wanted everything to stop. He could see himself, in that dress again, cowering in the corner.

Lightening spewed off the other figure. It got closed to Kaminari. Looking at the figure, it really was too blurred for him to discover the identity, He wondered if it was his dad with a blurred out face. This has happened before with his father. Ya, that must be it.

It was his dad... It was because he was wrong... That must be it.

Still, it hurt when the lightning strikes him.

"Denki!" Ashido screamed. The sound drew the attention of everyone in the room. Class 1-A rushed over filled with worry. Kaminari's face was pinched in pain. He was left lying on the table where he fell. He gasped and sent out small warning shocks at every attempt to move him. One of the students ran to get Aizawa-Sensei. When he arrived he shut off Kaminari’s quirk. He and Kirishima carried him to the nurse with the bakusquad following close behind.

Chapter 2: It's a struggle, but only acceptance can break the bubbles

Kirishima felt his whole body tense as he saw his friend fall limp. Electricity crackled off the falling blonde. Kirishima could tell everyone had run toward the Bakusquad at Ashido’s high pitched squeal. It rang in the boy’s head and only enhanced his panic. A student, likely Iida, though Kirishima didn’t pay attention, got Aizawa-Sensei. The man had looked as if he was calm when he arrived. The man had used his quirk on Kaminari with no delay. Kirishima ran over to grab the left side of his slouched comrade. Bakugou quickly tried to take the other side but the teacher blinked. Faint flickers of heated light reached up and took the blonde by the hand.

Bakugou hissed and drew it back. Spews of swear words and threats of regret left the vehement boy. He almost reached a hand to retry after the teacher had his eyes back on the passed out teen. The teacher took the right side. The look the teacher gave the passed out boy made Bakugou stand down for a few seconds.

“Fuck off, I’ll help,” he told the teacher. The teacher glances his way. Aizawa-Sensei kept his attention on Kaminari.

Bakugou would have fought harder had Sero and Ashido not gotten his attention. He grumbled as Sero bandaged his hand with tape. Bakugou went to point out that he was not the only one touching Kaminari as he’d sparked. Looking over though, Kirishima had hardened. It was pointless to try to deter the boy from helping his friend even a little bit.

The Bakusquad trailed after the teacher and the other member. They were lucky that the few times Aizawa blinked, the shocks were light. Still, the teacher had strained himself getting the boy to the nurse.

The Bakusquad stayed there with Aizawa-Sensei until Naomasa Tsukauchi arrived. “Children, you should leave,” The police detective said with no hesitation or sympathy. The man seemed as if he just wanted to do his job and get out. With the darkened rims of his eyes and his sluggish movements, it was an easy guess that he was tired and overworked. Even knowing this, Bakugou couldn’t hold even a strand of sympathy toward the man.

“Fuck no! We aren’t just going to go like that!” Aizawa-Sensei rubbed his temples and looked over to glare at the loudmouthed troublemaker. “Tell us what this is!”

Ashido peeked out from behind Sero to let out a quick quip, “and how we can help.”

Naomasa seemed uncomfortable with the idea of letting students, who would most definitely stop at nothing to help a friend, have any information regarding this. He snuck a glance at the teacher. He figured it would be best to follow the man’s lead.

As if sensing his thoughts, Aizawa-Sensei nodded his approval. The other adult sighed. “Well if you’re fine with it Aizawa, I will start.”

“They’ll figure it out, and work on their own either way,” Aizawa-Sensei said. Naomasa wondered if the man had regretted becoming a teacher. He brushed the thought off in favor of the current predicament.

"And my heart was pumping, chest was screaming

Mind was running, air was freezing

As much as they had tried to figure it out, all they could tell that night was that it was not medical. It had obviously been caused by a quirk if Recovery Girl couldn’t heal him. The teenagers were told not to inform the class about this just yet about these developments. The day still seemed to pass too slowly and quietly.

Kirishima sat still and merely took notes. Ashido would look down at her phone for updates, at a constant rate. Everyone seemed drowsy and unmotivated. The only person who acted as he normally would was Mineta, and even his attempts seemed lax compared to usual. It was like the boy was only flirting excessively because that was what he did every day. Most of his daily comments lacked any and all passion.

The second lunch hit, students crowded the bakusquad members, with the exception of Bakugou.

Many of the students asked for more information or ways to help. Ashido went to tell them that they were looking for someone whose quirk could cause that but stopped at the pointed look Bakugou shot her.

Ashido put on a nervous smile and said, “He’ll be fine. He was working himself to death with his part-time job.”

Aizawa raised an eyebrow at the idea. He thought students were not allowed to have part-time jobs at this school. It was especially risky with Class 1-A, and U.A. in general, being targeted frequently.

Put my hands up, put my hands up

I told this kid I'm ready for a fight"

Kaminari Denki tried to fight back. It didn’t matter in the slightest. Every evaded attack seemed to come back and hurt him worse. His father laughed at his failed attempts. The little him, that cowered in the corner, ran. She He ran down the twisting hall. Kaminari figured that the child version of him would just run out of sight.

She, he was a boy, not a girl. A dress wouldn’t make him a girl. He was a boy.

He didn’t though. The scenery and even the deaged Kaminari’s clothing changed way with each step. The hall lead way to their childhood home in Saitama. Young Kaminari was wearing a yellow and black striped shirt, a too big hand-me-down, and some loose fitting jeans. He had to have been around 7 years old.

He watched the scene. Young Kaminari snuck out around the time that school would have been starting, had it not been a Saturday. He met up with a kid with messy purple hair.

“Why do you even hang out with me? Don’t you think I’m scary?” The barely younger boy asked. Kaminari seemed to stop walking. He didn’t really get why the other boy thought himself scary.

“Why would I think that?” He said. “I’ve got a scary quirk too.” The boy, a young Shinsou, looked confused. Than, comprehension spread across his face. Yes, electricity could hurt. It could be scary. Just as scary as having no control. “Oh! Let’s go play in that park!” Kaminari pointed. The park was relatively small. Still, it was beautiful and lush with lots of open room.

There wasn’t much playground equipment; just a swing and some monkey bars.

The two gravitated to the swings before all else. The two had a lot of fun at the park until two other students showed up. One of them was the younger brother of the boy who called him a freak. His name was Hajime Jirou. His family disapproved of anything that went against the ‘original and proper’ way of doing things.

Kaminari felt bad for the other boy. He couldn’t stop him, though, from gaining his parent’s philosophy. Kaminari liked that word. He learned it the other day from his aunt. She let him wear dresses when being a boy felt too wrong.

He knew people could change that, but he didn’t want to hurt his family or make his dad angry by doing so.

Punch my face, do it 'cause I like the pain Every time you curse my name

He woke up. They didn't even realize that they'd fallen asleep. No, not they. She looked over the room. The nurse's office was as clear as day to her. She could see Aizawa-Sensei there. “Hey,” she tried to say. Her jaw wouldn’t open though. It was like it had been wired shut. She could see and hear everything. The bakusquad coming in to check on him. Other students doing the same. Some weren’t even in their class. They could hear and see everything.

Their eyes were wide open, so how did nobody notice? How did everyone say they care and start to cry about them but not even notice they were awake? That they were in pain?

“How are you so sure you're awake?” a familiar voice says.

Kaminari turned. The light that spoke seemed to twitch and spark. Then it faded into someone the child always loathed to see. He didn’t bother to reply. He knew it would change nothing for the better. His father would just hurt him more.

The figure hurled electricity toward Kaminari. He opened his arms as if to embrace the painful strike.

“Se-Sensei! His vitals!” Sero said. He seemed on the edge of panicking from just the spike. They watched for a second. The electricity escaped Kaminari’s body and flooded the building. The surge his power caused made the computers crash. The medical equipment overloaded. Aizawa stopped Kaminari’s quirks but the after effects had already taken its toll.

The building’s electricity was out for the next three days. It made it easier for the bakusquad to sneak out without the rest of Class 1-A noticing.

I know you want the satisfaction, it's not gonna happen Knock me out, kick me when I'm on the ground

Kaminari’s feet sunk into the ground and kept him upright. “What do you have to say for yourself?” His father’s voice echoed through the encompassed area. Kaminari didn’t know if there was anything he could really say to make the man stop. It was easier to take the hits. It always had been.

The man crept closer. He had a sinister look on his face, though that felt all too normal to the younger man. Kaminari flinched and curled inward on himself. “Well, BOY? Speak!” The man raised an arm to strike. “Or will you deny everything, forever?”

For some reason, the word echoed in his head.

He wasn’t denying anything. He was protecting his family.

It's only gonna let you down

Bakugou growled as they stalked the streets. He knew that quirk forms were confidential. Still, it had been three days since they had started getting the procedure of getting a warrant.

Bakugou was worried and impatient.

The bakusquad had followed Bakugou’s advice of checking out the Saitama prefecture. The group split into groups of two; Ashido and Sero, and Kirishima and Bakugou. When Kirishima had gone to explain the idea to Aizawa-Sensei, the teacher seemed skeptical to let the students roam the streets near the place where the quirk had been used on Kaminari. However, a glance at the student’s eyes proved that it would be fruitless to tell them not to.

Aizawa and Yamada trailed the students in case of attack.

The two groups of students asked anyone who passed by if they had seen what happened to Kaminari. No one seemed to have noticed the boy.

Bakugou scowled as Kirishima brightened his worried smile and approached another couple. The two seemed to have recognized Kaminari from a picture that Kirishima had saved on his phone.

“I’ve seen that boy at the park before. Poor thing,” the girl said.

Her husband said, “I know the kid’s father. He’s not a good man. You shouldn’t get involved in that family.”

Small explosions were released from Bakugou’s hands. The couple flinched back. “That boy is going to be a hero. He’s a student of U.A,” Bakugou said.

Kirishima looked between the three with an uncertain smile. The tension growing was already thick. “Look, we know Kaminari. He is a good guy. It doesn’t matter if his father isn’t. Not to his friends and teachers, at least. If principal Nedzu thought he would betray us, he wouldn’t have let him enroll.” The students could almost see phantom gears turning in the couple’s head. The newfound regret was obvious on their faces. “Have you seen him around three days ago? That was the last time he went out of the U.A. dorms. He got a hurt. The police seemed to think that he was affected by a quirk.

“I think I saw him,” the woman started. “He was in an alleyway, helping an old lady up.”

Bakugou narrowed his eyes as if to threaten her to explain. Kirishima was the only one to vocalize anything, though. “What did she look like?”

“The woman had greying cyan hair. She looked a little shorter than him, maybe? She was hunched over like she had scoliosis. She might have been in her mid-60s. Oh! I remember now, she reminds me of the librarian from the library I go to.” She gave them information on how to get there, as well as where the alley was. They asked their questions to the librarian, but ultimately, it led to nothing.

Bakugou had decided that the easiest way to find her was to get the records from schools in the area near Kaminari’s house and in the area of the alley. The group of U.A. students regrouped at their own school and discussed the plan. All the students decided they wanted to help

The schools were reluctant to release information that wasn’t in records for the public. They did let them check out the yearbooks. They decided it would take too long to check every school. It might have even taken months if they went about it that way.

“Hey, Bakugou? Did you ever think about posting on forums?” Ashido asked. With all the technology they use on a daily basis, Bakugou felt like kicking himself for not seeing such a possible lead. He growled.

“He didn’t,” Kirishima, the Bakugou translator, said for him. The group wasted no time spreading the word on many media outlets.

After that, the group took turns checking the forums every hour. Someone had posted a lead on people they know who have the ability to put others in comas. Kirishima and Ashido had a pair of full-blown grins as they check the lead. They had finally found her; Wanashi Kikowa.

The two raced to gather the members of the group and their teachers. Aizawa, Yamada, and All Might arrived at the same time. The two blonds seemed excited that they were finally going to put an end to the panic induced by this incident. Aizawa still seemed to have the same lazy, apathetic composure as always, though everyone there knew what the man was feeling was quite the opposite. All Might called Detective Naomasa and put the man on speakerphone.

She had no priors and hadn’t been in the system at all. The only evidence they had that it could be her, was a couple of testimonies from her high school days. It was said that she had gotten in a fight with her girlfriend, Aiteki Naiko, over whether the girl was ashamed to be seen with her. The fight ended with the girlfriend stuck in her head until she resolved to be herself and be open with her thoughts.

The Bakusquad lept into action at the first chance. They raced to the woman’s current address. The hot-headed leader would have kicked in the door, had Aizawa’s scarf not caught him. The other teachers were quick to scold the boy, however, Aizawa just glanced at the door. He let the impulsive student go and went to knock on the door.

They stood there until the door opened, no one moved even an inch. With every second the host of the house didn’t show up was a moment of building tension.

The door opened. “Hello?” The woman said without even a stutter. She didn’t act surprised or even annoyed at their presence.

“Undo whatever you did to Kaminari!” Ashido said.

“You must be the friends of the blond child with the bolt in their hair. Trust me, they will be better in the long run after they awaken.”

“Look, lady, I don’t give a shit for what you think was for the better!” Bakugou attempted to charge at the fragile looking old lady. He was, again, held back due to the teacher’s interventions.

Come the lightning and the thunder You're the one who'll suffer, suffer

Rounds of memories seemed to trail with every spike of electricity shot through him. Sometimes it felt like he was slipping away, back to the nurse's office. The memories were never lucid. They were foggy and bubbly. It was like something dragging him under the waves in an ocean.

He could hear his friends voices. There was another voice he couldn’t quite place, even with the familiarity to it. He knew she was someone he talked to recently. He did talk to a lot of people though.

The voices were muffled and came in and out like a radio losing signal. With his quirk, that wouldn’t be possible. He’d been here so long he didn’t know what to make of these short visions. “ Com- -n. Ke- -ighting. You'll -ine. We -re -ere you.” He could feel his skin tingle as the electricity built up. His hand was already warm from Sero and Ashido’s hands gripping his, but the feeling of his quirk was easily distinguishable. He opened his mouth to warn them.

He was pulled back under completely. All warmth other than his quirk disappeared. His eyebrows drooped than his eyes followed suit. He felt tired. He wanted to give up. This was so hard. He walked down the shadowy path in hopes for somewhere to lay. Nowhere came to view.

He didn’t think any place would show up in an area where the ground may as well be sludge.

Well I squared him up, left my chest exposed He threw a quick left hook and it broke my nose

“Please, stop this nonsense, Denki-chan,” Kaminari’s aunt Alouette. It was rare that she was in Japan. Kaminari had just wanted to feel pretty. She didn’t get why her kind aunt had told her to stop. “Your father will be home soon. Take off the dress. We have to hide it somewhere. Come on, petit?”

Now Kaminari understood. She hurried to her room to put on her boy clothes. She was only allowed to be a boy. If she wasn’t, not even her mother or aunt could stop her father from hurting her.

Last time, he came back home when Kaminari hadn’t felt like she was either. So she had worn a long shirt that looked considerably like a dress and she wore shorts. She hadn’t wanted to offend him, she recalled. He still took it that way though. He always did.

She changed and came out wearing a black and yellow striped shirt, jeans, and a pokemon hat.

She ran over to where her aunt was and tried not to twitch too much. These clothes didn’t feel right. Not that they felt bad, just not right.

She wondered, not for the first time, why she was so strange… So wrong.

I had thick red blood running down my clothes And a sick, sick look 'cause I like it though

Finally, Kaminari stopped watching their memories pass by. They shuddered at the hand on their shoulder. Their feet were still stuck in the mud. “Well, boy? Ready to answer?”

Kaminari glared at his father. He couldn’t go on watching these memories anymore. He knew his father was showing him this in order to disgust him. That left Kaminari wondering how he even knew some of these memories.

He felt his adrenaline spike as his father opened his mouth.

A small chuckle escaped that cavern of cavities. He saw the hands reaching for him. Every second doubled the stress he felt. He knew this would be painful.

I said I didn't want trouble, I'm the boy in the bubble But then came trouble

“Look, the child is strong, but in pain. If the child cannot come to terms with themself, then they may be stuck in their head for a long time. They helped me, and so I reverted all injuries but psychological ones. Currently, their mind is putting them in a coma to attempt to heal the psychological scars. If the child wants to awaken, they must find a way to heal those injuries. To do that, most people learn to accept themselves. The child might awaken, or still be able to hear if you want to keep them company?” The old lady said.

And my heart was pumping, chest was screaming Mind was running, nose was bleeding

His father lunged for him. His fingers, at first contact, released small bursts of discharge.

“Aizawa. It’s happening again!” Recovery Girl said as she shook him awake.

Kaminari had not felt his father’s electricity course through him very often. He had lost count of how many times he’d felt the belt buckle digging into his skin, or how many times half-full beer bottles would be thrown at him. He never lost count of the electricity though. He, in fact, could count on his fingers the number of times it had happened before today.

The villain seemed to morph. A shadow took his place and cackled.

“You weren’t protecting them by hiding this. You were just protecting yourself - like a coward!” The shadow said. It’s distorted voice boomed. Kaminari couldn’t tell whether the form was a girl or a boy. It’s voice ranged from deep to high and would change by the second.

This enemy confused him. It felt familiar. It felt like it was a part of himself.

He didn’t want that to be true, but the second he thought it, he couldn’t erase the feeling.

He wanted to deny this figure because it was evil. That wasn’t the real issue though. The issue was still gender.

Of course, he didn’t want to be evil, either. The shadow knew that. It knew it’s purpose was to beat some sense and self-love into the child. It didn’t think it was bad. Just that it was a tired guardian of the mind. One day, it hoped, the child would see that too.

The shadow dropped into it’s fighting stance and held up it’s hands.

Aizawa blinked and the electricity came back full throttle. Aizawa disabled the boy’s power again. He put a hand on the boy’s forehead. There was no doubt that the boy had gained a fever from overexerting himself and his quirk.

“Why isn’t he getting any better?” Bakugou asked the old lady. He almost seemed like he was growling.

Wanashi smiled and said, “The child will get better when they accept themselves.” Sero and Bakugou had the feeling that something was wrong. There was no doubt that even the quirk user had no clue what was happening.

“That’s what you said before, you old hag!” Bakugou said.

At the same time, Kirishima let out a question. “What would we be able to do to help Kaminari accept himself?”

“We could stay with him and play familiar music and stuff?” Ashido said.

“I’ll go get my laptop and charger. Maybe we can play some of his favorite movies too?” Sero said.

The group then looked to the teachers. They didn’t seem to mind the idea. The rest of the class seemed to like the idea as well. Sero raced to get the technology while Ashido went to get comfort items. Kirishima and Bakugou decided to stay.

Throughout the night, they indulged in everything that Kaminari liked. Kaminari’s favorite teachers stayed for a little while, before saying, “We don’t care if a few of you sleep in here, but not everyone can stay. Try to get to your rooms at some point tonight.”

The class nodded eagerly and then turned their attention to trying to help Kaminari. Most of the night, while they had thought it’d be watching their classmate’s favorite movies, but it ended up very different. Everyone picked a song that reminded them of Kaminari and told their favorite story featuring Kaminari.

Some songs included Powerful by Major Lazer, Electric by Maniac Drive, DNA by BTS, Reckless by Jaxson Gamble, and Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen.

Kirishima picked Little Moments by Brad Paisley. It was a surprise to many of their classmates.

“So, Ashido, for some reason thought it was my birthday.” Kirishima started. “So, Kaminari somehow convinced Bakugou to help him distract me while she set up a surprise party. He rented a golf cart and drove us around. He ended up backing down a hill. That was so funny. It was pretty manly when he did it on purpose the second time.” A fond look came over Kirishima’s face as he recalled the experience.

“The dumbass bought baking supplies, beforehand and stashed them in a bag hooked to the back,” Bakugou grumbled.

“The milk was two days old and all the eggs cracked when he accidentally backed up into a tree or something. He started freaking out over it. He had planned to distract me by having the three of us bake a cake out in the woods as if we were camping. It was a manly idea even if it didn’t work out.”

Bakugou grunted about the impossibility of making a cake without an oven. People started to turn to Bakugou in a silent declaration that he was next.  “Fuck no! I don’t have some shitty story to tell of the damn rip-off Pikachu!” Bakugou was glad when Iida drew the attention to himself by raising his arm.

Iida held the class to the teacher’s words. Bakugou stood and went to follow the class out, but was cut off from the action due to Kirishima’s hand. The hotheaded boy was dragged back down onto the makeshift nest of blankets and pillows. All of the Bakusquad stayed the night.

Put my hands up, put my hands up I told this kid I'm ready for a fight

The shadow raised it’s fists and darted forward. Kaminari raised his arms to block. He even tried to move out of the way. Black tendrils, from his subconscious, made a grab at his legs. He could almost hear the deafening doubt course through his body. Unkind words he’d heard every time he was ‘acting weird’ echoed through his mind.

The situation distracted him from the sharp quick to the ribs that he could have attempted to avoid. Fleet jabs made their way to his face and upper chest. He could feel his collarbone crunch under the pressure of the assault.

Punch my face, do it 'cause I like the pain Every time you curse my name

The shadow winced as it took in the damage it inflicted upon it’s host. It hoped the child would forgive it later. Or, at very least understand it’s explanation. It brushed off the thoughts and readied itself to inflict more damage. It was just until the child figured it out. And this was the best way to help them anyway.

If it didn’t continue to remind the child of the words, if the child didn’t catch the meaning of the torment, then the child’s mind would be reformed into exactly what their cruel father had wanted. Normal. Evil. Someone who would betray their friends for their own benefit.

The shadow swept a roundhouse kick through the air. It caught Kaminari right in the face. The shadow briefly felt relief at the fact they were only in the mindscape. If they were in the real world the electric teenager would have a broken nose. The shadow decided it would shift. It may help the host figure out the trick to success.

I know you want the satisfaction, it's not gonna happen Knock me out, kick me when I'm on the ground

“Can’t you wake up soon?” Kirishima mumbled. He curled into himself, only a hand grasping the comatose boy’s hand, was extended. Bakugou rubbed his eyes and looked over to the fake redhead. He grabbed a chair and moved it beside the other as quietly as he could.

“Shitty hair, stop that. The asshole will wake up. You even heard the old hag, he just has to get through some shit,” Bakugou whispered. The sound was still rough, but it was the most gentle Kirishima had heard in a long while. The two talked until they crashed, both cuddling into the small space at the end of Kaminari’s bed.

The two awoke to small zaps from the unconscious boy. “He is so dead when he wakes up,” the brash boy growled while Kirishima chuckled. Then they both realized just how close the two were. Blushing, they both wondered if they should move closer or if they should kiss. Neither noticed the pink girl taking pictures of them with her cell phone. They had even moved closer to Kaminari before they noticed her. Ashido let out a giggle. She saved the pictures to an online folder that even Bakugou couldn’t find. Bakugou exploded with anger, waking everyone in the room.

Even Kaminari stirred. All attention shifted to the boy. Bakugou, being one of the closest and more capable at taking temperatures than Kirishima, placed a hand on the comatose teen's forehead. “Get a damn bucket of slightly cold water and some damp washcloths, you fucking incompetents!”

The fever, while not dangerously high, did not go away completely under Bakugou’s watchful gaze.

Wanashi and Principal Nedzu walked into the room. It was seven in the morning, and they were reminded that they should go to class while the adults took a shift watching their classmate.

“Should we contact the boy’s family and see if they would like to check up on the child?” Wanashi asked.

“The boy’s father is a villain. I’m sure you already know that though. I don’t trust you and I think this is intentional. That being said, I see no reason why, with supervision, the boy’s family can’t check on the boy.”

Wanashi scowled. The principal was very intelligent, but she hadn’t thought she’d left any clues. She decided she’d continue to play innocent since the man had no proof.

It's only gonna let you down

Finally, Kaminari could tell who he was fighting. A villain who stole his face, his power. She walked toward him and he stalled. He wasn't sure how to react. She distorted. Kaminari felt his skin tingle as he felt his body shift. She looked as if she was enduring the same problem due to her stall. She was a he, now. As for Kaminari, he was a she now.

He -No, she- didn’t know how, but at the moment she couldn’t care.

Kaminari flexed her muscles. She released a little bit of static and smirked. Ya, it didn’t matter after all. She was who she was and could fight either way.

Come the lightning and the thunder You're the one who'll suffer

The shadow smirked and released it’s hold on it’s form. The color that painted it to look like Kaminari seeped downward. Kaminari readied herself to attack again. She couldn’t help but feel confused when the dark creature just smiled and sat down in the moving puddle.

The shadow reappeared in a hammock. They had once again had transported to a different place in her memories. It was an old friend’s room. Her friend, Sukuinushi Kageka, would often lend her room as a place of comfort when Kaminari was younger.

“You recognize this place, right?” the shadow asked. Kaminari started to feel tense, still, she smiled and nodded. “She was a good friend, wasn’t she? She would be glad that you accepted yourself. That’s why she gave me to you really. I’m a shadow guardian. Her quirk. You may not have seen her in years, but I don’t wear off until I’ve done what I needed to do.

It was 6:48, he was walking home With the blood on his hand from my broken nose

“I think his fever is breaking,” A soft voice said.

Kaminari blinked. She was no longer in that place. She was back in the nurse’s office. The whole class was there. That old lady was too. There was a soothing cool hand on her forehead. She glanced up to see Ashido. With how cool the hand felt, she had assumed it would be Todoroki.

“Hey, guys?” She said. For three seconds, it seemed like everything had slowed down. She could count the emotions on everyone’s faces. What stuck out most was the Bakusquad; twitch of Bakugou’s hand and twitch of his grin, the way Kirishima’s drained puppy dog eyes lite up, the bubble tears that sprung into Ashido’s eyes, and, lastly the full teeth grin and worried brow crease of Sero.

The old lady stepped up. “I’m glad you managed to accept yourself,” She said. At Bakugou’s growl, the lady took a step back. Kaminari eyed the situation slowly. All of her class was there, her teachers, Shinsou and a few other random students. She had noticed all of them at the first glance she took around the room. Then she noticed her parents and her aunt.

“Thank you, by the way, what’s your name again?” She said in the most polite voice she could.

“Oh, my dear, my name is Wanashi Kikowa, but you can call me whatever you wish to after what I made you endure,” The lady said. She looked worried but managed to keep her voice steady even under the threat of Bakugou’s ferocity.

“Hmm, It’s fine. I finally got it. I just hope everyone else accepts it easier than I did,” Kaminari said. She let out a ditzy sounding laugh and went to get up. A couple people pushed her back onto the bed lightly. She took their advice. She already felt dizzy after only that one attempt.

The class looked hesitant. Midoriya flustered and opened his mouth. She knew that he was going to ask what it was that she had to accept before she could wake. She wondered if she should tell them now or wait until her father left. “So, how much did I miss out while I was… napping?”

The student body gawked at her. She looked over to met her father’s eyes. He had a glare that almost encouraged her to mess up.

The bakusquad swarmed the ex-comatose girl. Ashido and Kirishima filled him in on the latest gossip and school drama. Sero rolled his eyes and tried to explain what they were doing in class. Bakugou scowled and hit Kaminari over the head with some rolled papers. He dropped them over her head and they floated down onto the bed sheets.

She looked down at the offending papers, then looked at him. “Are these your notes? You didn’t have to,” she said.

“Shut up, rip-off Pikachu!” All in all, the moments after waking seemed sweet and playful to her, until her father cleared his throat.

But like every other day, he was scared to go Back to his house 'cause his pops was home

The students slowly left the room. Everyone had left words of encouragement and relief for Kaminari. “Guess they don’t recognize you,” Kaminari Denki said. Her father glared at her.

“What happened? You’re my son. You should be stronger than this! Not only that, but I only sent you here under the condition you would leek information to us,” Kaminari’s father whispered. Though his voice was quiet, it still held that edge that implied any misstep would lead to his father losing control of himself.

Kaminari didn’t want that to happen, not here, and not with his mom and aunt around. They were fearful enough of him as is. She wasn’t sure if she was really afraid of the other electric person now though.

Kaminari gave a blank stare toward the man. She then turned her stare toward the other members of her family. She beckoned them to the door.

After they left, Kaminari’s father looked even more unhinged.

She bit her tongue and tried to muster some courage. Turned out, she didn’t need to. With her newfound confidence, she felt no fear as she broke the news to her father.

“Dad, I’m not a boy. Not really. I feel like I move throughout the spectrum of gender. I am genderfluid. Some days a girl, some a boy, and sometimes neither or bigender.” The villain growled.

Drowning his troubles in whiskey bubbles Just looking for trouble

Kaminari’s father was swift to grab her throat. The lack of oxygen made her feel as if she was drowning. That was no excuse for being helpless during an attack though. She sent her knee towards his stomach. Her touch, though electric, felt like nothing more than weak static to the elder. She started kicking more frantically. A few of those hits struck a painful place and the man dropped her and curled in on himself, his hands unconsciously clasp in a protective barrier in front of his groin.

Kaminari rubbed her throat and took a step back. She threw three balls, similar to the pointers she used to aim, around her father. She aimed some electricity at them. The little balls put up a field that was only turned on when charged. It was very resourceful for capturing targets without injuring them or leaving a chance for escape. She remembered when she had accidentally charged them around herself and she had to wait for the current to die down for her to leave. It was a long, boring day compared to the second time she used these new trinkets. After the last device the Support Class had created for her, she gladly went back and asked them to make more ideas for her.

They expected the class to get fed up with them at some point. They got along with almost everybody there, though. Some of the young inventors would even ask them to come over and sometimes test the technology to see how well it would work. They figured the class was really just happy that they had caught an idiot who would gladly test supplies for others. They felt relief that they had never fallen into their father’s lap. They now knew too much of the next generation of heroes and support workers alike. Their father would be way too powerful with that kind of information at hand.

“Father, why can’t you accept me. Our entire family is afraid of you and your responses to what you deem as wrong. This is way more accepted in this generation, than in yours, but still, you should at least be happy, maybe proud, and respect how I live my life.”

“Why on earth would I ever be proud of you? You are so stupid you think you’re not a boy and you can’t even spy on these so-called-heroes. You’re worthless to me,” The elder man spat. His struggles to get out of the trap were futile.

Well, there's no excuse for the things he did But there's a lot at home that he's dealing with

Wanashi walked into the room, with her saddened family behind the hag. “Let your father go child. It will not end well if you disobey me,” she said. Her hand latched onto the arm of Kaminari’s aunt.

“Wanashi, that is impossible. He won’t be free until the capsules run out of charge. It was something that the support course came up with. I don’t know how to turn it off.” The women clicked her tongue in an annoyed fashion that spurred Kaminari’s mind to the newest Robin in the DC Batman comics. She hadn’t read them in years, but she could still see the eerie similarity.

The woman pulled a small device out of her ear and crunched it underneath her heel.

Kaminari scowled and tried to look tough, but she couldn’t help the widening of her eyes or the unconscious curl inward that her body exhibited. This was the second time she had seen the shadow-like-man who could transform his body into a portal. She wondered why he would come to get the old lady and Kaminari’s own father when the electronic was destroyed.

She knew her father was capable of destroying it without even trying or noticing. She knew that couldn’t have been a sign. Still, the frequency meant the shadow man had heard all the conversation.

Kaminari was glad that the man had just decided to abduct the villains instead of attack though. She knew she couldn’t fend them off without her aunt and mother getting hurt.

Because his dad's been drunk since he was a kid And I hope one day that he'll say to him

She turned her attention to the two other women left in the room. They held each other as if it would calm the shaking that was starting to settle in their forms. “Oh Denki, how do you stand all this violence? I thought it was bad enough that it was violent at home, but now this? Is it always like this?” Her mother asked before hugging her child. She looked like she would start to cradle and rock the teenager.

Kaminari sniggered. “It’s fine mom. It’s not always like this at all,” She said.  She wanted to add that it was something that happened every once in a while but felt as if that would make her mother abandon her newfound relief. She also feared being pulled out of school. She wanted to be a hero with all her heart. She wanted to help kids who didn’t think they would ever be able to use their quirks properly. Kids who wanted to help but always thought that their quirk wasn’t good enough, whether it be because of the side-effects or words that other children had said about them. Kaminari had experienced both. She knew if she could do it, so could they. She hoped this wasn’t enough to make her mother pull her out of school.

“Mom? Will you finally leave him? I know he hurts you too.” Kaminari pulled her head from her mother’s embrace to see her face. With a brilliant smile and glistening eyes, she bent forward to kiss her daughters forehead.

“I can try, my daughter. But I can’t make that a promise,” Kaminari nodded. After processing the words, she smiled. She was so happy that her mother called her daughter instead of a son. She didn’t even question how her mother knew. She had always chalked it up to being a mother thing.

She wondered if one day she would have the mother thing.

"Put down those bubbles and that belt buckle In this broken bubble"

Kaminari spent that night in their room. She had spent a good hour answering her mother’s and aunt’s questions about being genderfluid. Still, they felt very exhausted after the whole ordeal. They had asked their mother and aunt to confide in the school about the abuse and villianry that Kaminari’s father was almost always up to.

They wondered briefly if they should let their family go home, but knew that it would be best to let the teachers decide about whether it was or was not too dangerous to return to the tiny home in the Saitama prefecture. They also knew that if the two didn’t feel safe, they would find a way.

It wouldn’t be the first time their mother had swept into the house and taken anyone inside to a hotel or friend’s house when it just wasn’t safe to be home.

Punch my face, do it 'cause I like the pain Every time you curse my name

Kaminari decided that using ‘they’ could be confusing for when they were in this mood. Looking up more pronouns they decided they’d go with xe. Xe sounded right, though xe knew it could be confusing. Xe hoped xyr other friends would be accepting. Kaminari couldn’t help but feeling that anxious feeling that reminded xem that they may not accept. Xe took a second to sit and calm xyr thoughts before going to find xyr most trusted friends.

Xe explained the situation, and grinned when xe heard Bakugou’s outraged voice say, “That’s it? You damn ripoff-Pikachu! Don’t fucking disturb my sleep for something even you should know the answer to! If anyone gives you trouble for this shit, I’ll kill them!” Still, at the volume and anger in the always-angry-blond, Kaminari flinched. Xe honestly thought that the impetuous boy would be disgusted or just angry. The rest of xyr close friends also spouted that they cared about xem for xemself. A grin eased itself on xyr face and xe pounced to hug the bakusquad.

“So, what pronouns are you using at the moment?” Sero asked

“I think, at the moment at least,” Kaminari said, seeming meek. Xe stopped for a short while, fearing their reactions until he was shouted at by an impatient Bakugou being subdued by Kirishima. “Right! Sorry! I’d like to go by xe/xem pronouns right now!”

I know you want the satisfaction, it's not gonna happen Knock me out, kick me when I'm on the ground

Kirishima looked over to the electric blond and grinned. “Kami-bro!” He cried. Kaminari instantly looked over with a grin. “Does this mean I can’t call you Kami-bro anymore?” Kaminari giggled at the almost pitiful face Kirishima pulled. It was so exaggerated it broke the tensing mood back into the normal happy-go-lucky mood that the group would usually enjoy.

“Well duh. That’s just how you are. You aren’t going to offend me by a nickname that has never bothered me before. Being genderfluid won’t change that. I mean, yeah dysphoria sucks, but there are a lot of times when it’s lessened. I’m also just a really go-with-the-flow kind of person,” Kamiari said. Xe was still giggling at xyr red-headed companion. After the tension had eased, the group shared stories of what happened.

Kaminari found the most amusement in being caught up on who Bakugou has had the most scream matches with while xe was out and with Mina’s picture of Bakugou and Kirishima’s almost kiss. They all talked for hours, even with Bakugou’s explosions bringing the teacher’s attention on them. They were scolded and told to go to bed. After that, they did the only thing natural for a teenager to do. They ignored their teachers and had a sleepover in the dorm’s living room. No one went to bed until 5 in the morning and no one woke them up for school the next day.

The teachers decided that it should be considered that they had been worried sick over Kaminari and deserved the day to spend time with the ex-coma patient.

It's only gonna let you down Come the lightning and the thunder

After all the classes had ended, Kaminari told the bakusquad that xe wanted to come out to their class and teachers. Xe was getting annoyed with the repetitiveness of having to explain so many times. “That’s so manly,” and “We’re proud of you, dude,” rang in xyr head. Xe couldn’t stop the nervousness but was happy that xyr friend’s had xyr back.

“I have something to say,” Kaminari said while standing on the coffee table in their dorm. The rash action called the attention or every class member, and the few teachers and other students who had decided to check on the impulsive child. “I think I’m genderfluid. Sometimes I feel like a girl and sometimes I feel like a boy. Sometimes I don’t feel like either. I think it was because I was denying that myself. I think that’s why the woman was able to put me in that coma.” After a few moments of silence, Kaminari climbed down from the table with slumped shoulders. Xe wasn’t sure if xe felt disappointed by the lack of response.

Finally, a response came. A cruel and offensive was uttered by Mineta. It was like a backstab to the gut even though xe felt it coming. Xe didn’t expect the backlash the boy would get, though. All the class had stepped up to defend Xem. The principal sent him away to atone for his cruel response. The boy was also warned that if he did anything to offend or hurt another student or person on the school premises, he would be taken out of Class 1-A.

Kaminari secretly hoped that when, there was no if, at this point, Mineta was booted out, Shisou would take the vulgar boy’s place. Xe was pretty sure most of the class also wanted the purple-haired boy to join the class.

Not even an hour after the boy was out of site, Bakugou had terrorized the bigot to the point Mineta never said anything bad about Kaminari again.

You're the one who'll suffer, suffer

Name Meanings:

Wanashi Kikowa 罠 (Wana) trap 四 (Shi) four 記 怖 (Kikowa) Memorial 記 (Ki) Record 怖 (Kowa) Fear

Kageka- 影華-meaning shadow flower/ shadow splendor 救主- Sukuinushi- Savior (I was lazy on Sukuinshi-Chan's name. Sorry.)

This is a story I wrote a while ago, but I’m not too great at keeping things in synch, so the picture that goes with it is late. REALLY LATE. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I hope you enjoy it. I decided It would be best to just put both the chapters together since it’s easier to cross post like that, sorry?

-Myukamo Kunazu

[light-up-shawn]

flourish. - peter parker

genre: i really dunno man

warnings: none

words: 2,483

pairing(s) : peter p x reader eventually

parts: one , two

A/N: Hey! So I have this written and four written which means I’ll probably post tomorrow too! I’m sorry if this story is moving along slowly, I just don’t think Peter and the reader should be full on making out in the first few chapters but they’ll definitely interact more as the story moves along. I don’t know what else to say for now so as always, leave questions, suggestions, predictions, and feedback in my ask. Thank you for reading, my loves. Enjoy! 💗

It was 7 am on September 8th. It was the first day of school and you barely caught an ounce of sleep. Excitement overcame you at least a month before you had even started school. Ever since you woke up an hour ago, you couldn't help but imagine everything that could happen today. You could make a lot of friends, you could accidentally expose your powers, you could meet Rihanna. The possibilities were endless.

You took a bite out of the pancakes your aunt made and hummed in satisfaction.

"These are so good, oh my god." You said.

Your aunt smiled at you.

"You excited for your first day?" she asked. Your aunt's hair was all messy and she was dressed in these luxurious-looking silk pajamas. She slept very classily.

"Yeah. I walked past midtown once when MJ and I were going to this deli. It looks like a really nice school. I'm excited to be attending." you answered and remembered that day. MJ was bored and her parents were mad at each other so she needed some air. The two of you were walking around for at least two hours. You liked that you an MJ could just spontaneously hang out with each other. Nothing was ever forced. Anything that came to your mind, the two of you just talked about it.

"Ugh, you grow up so fast. It seems like just yesterday you first got here." your aunt gushed.

"It's been like two months." You replied.

"You've grown up so much since then!"

you giggled.

"The bus gets here in 5 minutes. You need to get to the bus stop now." your mom said coming down the hallway, putting an earring in her ear.

It took a month but your mom was able to find a job. Before you were born, your mom apparently went through schooling for being a teacher. She talked about it every once in a while but not enough for it to be a significant memory so it kind of took you by surprise when she came home with a huge smile on her face because she got a job as a first-grade teacher.

You took one last bite of you heaven sent pancakes, gathered your stuff and left.

"have a good day" 's were heard as you were leaving.

You ran to the bus stop two blocks away from your apartment building and just barely caught the bus. You stuck your metro card in the slot and then walked into the seating area. As you expected the bus was full of both students and adults on their way to school and work. Neither parties looking forward to the day ahead of them

After about five stops, you made it to Midtown and got off the bus. You looked around as you walked and took in everything. The school wasn't small, unlike your last one. It seemed to have three floors instead of two and the website said it held about 2,000 students. So many of them were walking into the school frantically or laughing with friends.

"Ow!" a pitchy voice said.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I should've been paying attention." you apologized to the brown haired boy you somehow walked into.

"Hey don't worry about it. It happens to me all the time." The boy smiled.

"Uh I'm Y/N." you introduced yourself.

"I'm Peter. Nice to meet you."

Peter. You knew that name. It was that friend that MJ talked about to when you two first met.

"Peter...Parker?" you asked.

He quirked an eyebrow at you.

"Yeah...how did you know that?"

"I'm friends with your friend, MJ. She talks about you and Ned sometimes." you explained.

"Does she?" He said, smiling.

You were aware you weren't supposed to tell Peter that and it would probably come back to bite you but the words couldn't be taken back now.

"Mhmm. I'd better get going though, Peter. You wouldn't happen to know where the main office is, would you?"

"Yeah, I'll uh, I'll show you." he offered.

You nodded and followed behind him into the building.

"So Peter, you're on the decathlon team?" you asked in attempt to make small talk. You recalled MJ brought up the decathalon team once.

"Well, I've been thinking about joining. Uh, this one girl I know is on the team. and she seems to have a lot of fun. Ned says he'd join too if I do it so there's a chance I will be doing that." she answered.

"That's cool. The team sounds fun. Not entirely my thing but I'd join for the experience."

"Midtown has a wide selection of things to join. Something would definitely match your interest, you just gotta look." he said.

"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

You two turned a corner and there was an open door with a big desk and a secretary sitting behind it.

"Here you are."Peter pointed his hands towards the room in front of you.

"Thank you."

"It was no problem. I'll catch you around."

You nodded as he walked away.

"Can I help you?" the lady behind the desk asked.

"Yeah, I'm Y/N L/N. I was told this is where i could pick up my schedule." you smiled at her.

"The transfer from Buffalo? Yeah, we have your schedule. Just give me a second to print it out."

After five minutes, you were given your schedule and meant to go find classroom 234.

"Y/N!" a voice called down the hallway. You could only assume it was someone you were familiar with. And you were only familiar with one person. It was obviously MJ.

She approached you and held her hand out.

"Let me see your schedule."

You handed her the piece of paper and she skimmed it.

Today MJ was wearing her signature ponytail that never seemed to be neat, a plain white shirt with a pair of Adidas joggers and Old Skool Vans. She had a way of making a look that she probably randomly threw on, look good.

"Okay cool, We have lunch, chem, and English together." she informed.

"That's great. I won't be lonely all day." you said.

"Yeah, I'm stuck with you for three periods."

"I see it as you have the amazing opportunity to spend time with me for 135 minutes every day. It's everyone's dream, truly." You joked.

"Everyone is interchangeable with no one, right?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, we have like 10 minutes to spare. Come with me to my locker and I'll walk you to your class?" Mj asked even though it was more of a statement.

You nodded and followed behind her as she walked off. Midtown had a lot of doors and even more lockers it seems.

We approached her locker only to see the brown-haired boy from before along with a black haired boy.

"Hi, losers." MJ greeted.

"Hi, Michelle and friend." The boy you have yet to meet spoke.

That's the second time someone had referred to you as "and friend" and it would probably happen a lot more.

"Didn't I tell you, dummies, to call me MJ?"

Peter snorted at her insult.

"You love us." He said.

"No way."

"Then why have you been talking about us all summer?"

MJ inhaled and exhaled. You assumed she would snap your neck or something. Lucky for you, she had some sense of self-control.

"So you and Y/N have met, I presume."

You smiled innocently.

"Yes, I have had the pleasure of meeting your friend who apparently can't keep a secret." He teased.

"You'd be surprised." you mumbled.

"ANYWAY! Hello, my name is Ned. It seems like I'm the only one who has no idea who you are." the other boy said. The other boy looked as though he was probably South Asain.

"Hi, Ned!"

"How do you guys know her?" Ned asked.

"I spent a chunk of my summer walking around with her." Mj admitted.

"I just met her like ten minutes ago and showed her to the office." Peter said.

"Sigh. I'm always last. First puberty now this." Ned joked.

The three of you laughed and then the bell rang.

"Oh god, I have Luis first period. I heard he's super strict. I have to go." Before you could protest (and you had every right to because you would be late to your first class) she was off, messy ponytail bouncing with every step she took.

"Would any of you happen to know where 234 is?" You asked.

Peter spoke up. "234 is on my way, I'll show you."

Peter and Ned did this really cool looking handshake and went their separate ways.

"You seem to be showing me around a lot." You said.

"Maybe it'll count for something and I could like graduate early." Peter said.

"Really? In that case, I will gladly show any lost freshman around."

Peter chuckled.

"As if you know where you're going yourself."

"Hey, I'm a fast learner."

The two of you approached the staircase and he held open the door for you.

"Thank you."

he smiled.

"I would, y'know, make small talk and stuff. It's kind of my brand, but I don't think the conversation would last that long seeing as you have exactly 2 minutes and 11 seconds to get to your first period that is across the hall."

"I can make it."

"Goodluck, Y/N." he said as you picked up a light jog, determined to get to class on time.

and you did just that.

You walked out of breath to the middle of the classroom. You always tried to go for the middle seats. If you were having an off day and you sat in the front, the teacher would publically embarrass you. In the back, you wouldn't even pay attention. The middle was perfect. It held many opportunities.

As the class came to a close though, you learned that this teacher didn't care where you sat, you would still get publically embarrassed.

It kind of went the same way for most teachers. Some were more lenient, you had to admit, but most were hellbent on the discipline of your fellow classmates. Even though some were rude, to say the least, you were still polite.

And by doing so, you were able to get to through the first four periods without a teacher hating you.

Your reflection of the people you were forced to spend forty-five minutes with every day for 10 months was interrupted when MJ texted you to head to the cafeteria.

So you made your way to the ground floor for lunch in the shockingly big eatery.

You stood in the doorframe of the room searching for your friend and her friends while MJ waved at you to get your attention. Eventually, it worked and you walked over to the table the three teens were sitting at.

"Hi everyone!"

"Y/N! Please tell me your teachers are just as bad as mine." MJ said.

"Uh, two of them were pretty rude. Not to me, luckily. And the others were fine i guess. They weren't good but weren't bad either. I really don't think this year will be all that bad. If I stay on their good side, like you said, I'll be fine."

"Wait. MJ advised you to kiss up to the teachers?"Ned chuckled.

"I advised her to stay on their good side. There's a difference, Leeds."

"Whatever you say, Michelle."

She rolled her eyes and began to doodle in her book.

"So how were your teachers? I assume you had a better experience than me and MJ." you asked Ned and Peter.

"Yeah, I like mine. None of them were annoyingly strict so that's good, I guess."

"I sat in the back so none of my teachers noticed anyway."

"Not like it would matter. The first week of school is just teachers going over the syllabus and trying to convince us of buying them tissues and hand sanitizer." MJ said.

"Why do you have to be such a downer? We have two classes with each other!"

"Just because you say that in a positive tone doesn't mean I'll enjoy it."

You wiped an imaginary tear from your eye.

"Ouch, MJ. That shit hurted."

Peter and Ned chuckled.

"So, Y/N, what brings you to Queens?"

"I think my mom was just getting bored of Buffalo. It wasn't ever really somewhere she wanted to be so we packed up our shit and left."

"Where are you staying?"

"My mom and I live with my aunt. The two of them are actually NYC natives."

Peter looked like he wanted to say something but he held back.

"I feel like if all four of us are going to sit with each other for 10 months then we should at least be not awkward. Let's play 21 questions." Ned suggested.

You and MJ looked at each other and smiled. 21 questions was one of your very first memories together.

"I'll go first. Who do you idolize?" you asked.

"Tony Stark." Peter said immediately.

"Beyonce but you already knew that."

"Hm, this is hard but I have to go with Elon Musk." Ned answered causing you all to break out in giggles.

"Okay, okay, uhh how do you guys like your eggs?" Peter asked.

We all looked at him weirdly. He could've done better.

"Scrambled."

"Hard Boiled."

"Poached."

"That was a horrible question, Petey. Anyway, Do you guys have any phobias you'd like to break?" MJ asked.

"I'd like to break my phobia of blood. Any time I see an excessive amount of it, I pass out." Ned admitted.

"I have a weird fear of heart disease and I don't really know where it came from."

"I don't like spiders."

Ned and Peter looked at each other then looked away. Probably some sort of inside joke.

"Okay, what superpowers would you guys have if you could choose?"

Both you and Peter tensed. Both Ned and MJ noticed to because they gave you guys weird stares.

"Um, I'd have mind manipulation or invisability or literally anything Scarlet Witch could do."

"I would have Thor's powers. He's cool."

"Uh, black widow."

After another exchange of suspicious glances from Ned and MJ, you all continued the game. Questions came up about future jobs, smash or pass, favorite foods, songs, etc. The game served its purpose you actually did learn more about your lunch buddies and it was refreshing to make new friends.

The bell rang and the four of you got up.

"Bye guys!" you said as MJ dragged you along to your next class.

You two found a seat next to each other and MJ whispered to you.

"Hey, why did you and Peter act so weird when Ned asked that question about the superheroes?"

"I wasn't acting weird. That was my thinking face. I don't know about Peter, though, hmm."

"Whatever, Y/N. Whatever you're hiding, I'll find it out. I always do."

taglist : @chims-kookies

[heathenarmyimagines]

Title: A Different Time

Summary: (Y/N) has a little sit down with Ivar

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

After the hot mess that was your break up you were in no mood to cook so you decided to get something delivered.

Which proved to be difficult as Vikings don’t actually know what pizza or Chinese food is.

Eventually you decide to spend even more money than usual and order from a steakhouse on Ubereats.

Again you kept it simple, steaks, mashed potatoes, green beans and dinner rolls.

This time you didn’t force them into guestroom.

They all mildly freaked out when the doorbell rang,  but you assured them that it wasn’t a warning bell.

Still the poor delivery woman looked thoroughly frightened by the large men behind you.

‘Here you go ma'am.’ she said nervously as she handed you the bags.

'Thank you so much, and sorry for them.’ you apologized.

Thankfully this time atound there wasn’t too much skepticism over the food.

Once everyone was fed you went about assigning bedrooms.

Ubbe took the guestroom, you offered Lagertha the master bedroom so she would have a bathroom to herself, Bjorn went with one of your brother’s room while Hvitserk took the other and Ivar took your sister’s room so he wouldn’t have easy access to the bathroom.

If he needed the toilet you could help if he needed any.

You had explained to them all about toilets when Bjorn said he “needed to piss” and went to go outside.

It was as awkward as you would imagine potty training fully grown adults to be.

As you laid in bed ready for the impossible and exhausting day to end, but sleep was an evasive mistress.

You tossed and turned before you huff and sit up.

Clearly your brain was on insomnia mode so you might as well be productive in the mean time.

You got on your phone and started making a list of things you’d have to show the Vikings before you let them out in public.

The list was long as hell, but thank the lord for educational youtube videos.

Deciding to go on ahead and make a playlist on youtube you grab your laptop and go to the kitchen.

You nearly dropped everything in your hand when you saw a tall shadow move, you hated seeing shit move in the dark.

Thankfully when you hurriedly turned on the light it was only Hvitserk.

With a relieved sigh you put down your phone and laptop and hit the Viking on the chest.

‘Don’t scare me like that!’ you scolded as your panic level went from red to green.

‘Sorry, I was hungry.’ he said.

You sighed.

‘Sit down I’ll make you a few sandwiches, I get the feeling you have a bigger appetite than the rest.’ you said as you went to the fridge.

‘What is that?’ he asked.

‘This is a refrigerator, it keeps your food cold and keeping a cold keeps it fresh longer.’ you said as you pulled out the cheese and lunch meat.

‘Amazing.’ he gasped.

‘Not really, but I guess it is pretty impressive for you all, coming from so far back in time. It’s incredible, everything is so different now, almost nothing is the same.’ you said as you worked.

‘Is anything the same, do people still hunt?’ he asked.

‘Well yeah, but it’s not really necessary, if you want meat just go buy it and most meat is farmed.’ you answered.

‘Is sex the same?’ he asked as you sat down the plate of sandwiches.

You stopped mid-step.

‘What?’

‘Is it the same or has that changed as well?’ Hvitserk clarified.

‘I mean...well yeah I guess the basics are the same I guess, there are a lot of ways to switch things up...make them more interesting.’ you blushed.

‘More interesting how?’

‘Like...sex toys and stuff.’

‘What kind of toy can be used for sex?’

‘OK, I cannot explain this, its too weird to just be openly talking a sex toys with a guy I met yesterday and has no idea what we are even discussing.’ you said, throwing up your hands before you sat down and grabbed your computer.

‘Fine, but I will ask later.’ he said.

‘I can deal with that, but can I ask you a question first.’

‘You can ask anything, but I cannot guarantee I know the answer.’ he replied.

‘You said you wanted to fix your family because there was going to be a war, but to my knowledge there was no war between the Sons of Ragnar.’

‘There shouldn’t have been one, but things went from wrong to horrible.’ he sighed sadly.

‘What was the war over?’ you asked carefully.

‘Something...so stupid, a childish argument at best.’ he said.

‘Explain it to me...I want to know and understand.’ you said honestly.

‘When my father died and Ivar returned with the news our mother had just been killed by Lagertha. And in killing our mother she took control of Kattegat.’

‘Kattegat?’ you repeated.

‘Our kingdom, you see once we avenged him with the use of our great army Bjorn went to explore the Mediterranean and after a stupid argument Ivar lost control of his anger and killed our brother Sigurd-’

‘Sigurd Snake in the Eye, Ivar killed him?’ you gasped.

‘Threw his ax at him, those two were never close. Grew up fighting each other, Sigurd was jealous of the attention mother gave Ivar and would mock his legs.’

‘Amazing so he was also a son of Ragnar.’ you whispered.

‘Yes, how do you know the name I didn’t believe that he did anything too amazing before his death beside being a Son of Ragnar.’ 

‘Well he didn’t really but he did have a really interesting name, anyway, you said Ivar killed him.’ you said, getting back on track.

‘After we buried Sigurd and Bjorn left me and Ubbe agreed Ivar was not fit to lead, but still Ivar has a strategic mind like no other, and we went along with his plans. Everything was fine, we had taken a town a called York, but Ubbe didn’t want to just raid, he was like father and wanted to settle.’‘ Hvitserk continued as he pushed his plate away.

It seems the topic affected his hunger.

‘We had won a battle and Ubbe wanted to talk with the Christians about setting up an settlement and Ivar told him there was to be no negotiating, Christians were liars. Still Ubbe convinced me that we should go behind Ivar’s and meet with the enemy, and like fools we went alone.’ Hvitserk sighed.

‘They beat us, so outnumbered we didn’t bother to fight back, and when we returned Ivar shamed us and demanded complete control of the army. Ubbe refused and in the end he and I decided to return to Kattegat, knowing Ivar planned to return there to kill Lagertha and avenge our mother.’

‘If you both left why do I see Ivar speak more to you than Ubbe?’ you asked in confusion.

‘Because I didn’t leave, last minute I jumped off the boat and Ubbe left and joined forces with Lagertha and we all met for war. Brother against brother, youngest verses oldest.’

‘And you are right in the middle, not sure who to support and not wanting to fight either of them.’ you guessed.

Hvitserk nodded.

‘I love my brothers, all of them, and I don’t want to bury another one. I sacrificed the horse and begged the Gods to save my family.’ he finished.

‘He means I destroyed his family.’

You and Hvitserk jump as Ivar rolled into the kitchen.

‘Ivar.’

‘Do not fret brother, I know it is what you think and what you feel. I am the one who aided father on his suicidal mission and I did nothing to help or save him. Then I killed Sigurd and my taunts sent Ubbe away and into Lagertha’s confidence. I did not want peace I wanted war, and because of me you had to chose between us. Poor Hvitserk.’ Ivar said.

How could he go from sounding so guilty to so condescending so fast? All you knew was you didn’t like how it made Hvitserk lower his head.

‘Hey.’ you said snapping your fingers and getting Ivar’s attention.

‘I don’t know if you are getting so I will it explain it, he was trying to help. He doesn’t want Ubbe or you dead...because he gives a damn about you. He sacrificed and begged his Gods so that you and your brother could get away from all the war long enough to pull you heads out of your asses.’ you explained.

‘He was disloyal.’

‘All he was trying to do is be loyal, he left Ubbe probably because he wanted to avenge his mother same as you, but he wasn’t ready to kill his brother.’

Ivar tilted his head at you and grinned.

‘What do you know about us and our ways, our meaning of the word loyalty?’ he asked.

‘Loyalty has the same meaning now and Hvitserk was loyal.’

‘So loyal that he stood over me and watched me drown this morning?’ Ivar challenged.

You were to ask what the hell he was talking about when you remembered how all the Vikings were just looking down at him in the pool when you found them.

‘Now try and tell me how strong his love is for me.’ he said.

You looked back at Hvitserk and realized his head had been low since Ivar began talking to him.

‘You scare him.’ you whispered.

‘He should be afraid, and so should you.’ Ivar warned.

You arched your brow at this and walked until you were in front of his wheel chair, you bent down to meet him eye to eye.

‘I should be a lot of things...but scared of you is not either of them.’ you said seriously before standing up straight.

‘Hvitserk, take your sandwiches to your room, I would like to have a private conversation with Ivar.’ you said.

The man looked from you to his brother and after a subtle nod from Ivar he followed the direction.

You sat in the chair in front of Ivar.

‘You shouldn’t treat him like that, he is your brother not a pet.’ you said.

‘If he has a problem he would say so.’

‘He won’t and you know why, you terrify him Ivar. That was why he hesitated to save you in the pool, because he cares too much for you kill you but he wants to be free of your torment.’ you said.

‘I do not torment him.’ Ivar denied.

‘You bully him, you make him feel small and worthless, and I can only assume that was why Ubbe left your side.’

‘Ubbe left because he was a coward and didn’t want to admit he was wrong.’ Ivar said getting upset.

‘He left because you treated him like nothing, over one stupid mistake. You’re a bully Ivar.’

‘I am not! How could I be?’ he said raising his voice.

‘Hvitserk told me about Sigurd, how he would speak down on you about your legs. How he made you feel that’s what you do to your brothers...and you saw what happened to him.’ you said before you stood up and left.

You felt Ivar’s eyes on your back but you did not look back, he needed to sit with his thoughts.

[shawol9196]

Errand Challenge ((Oneshot; fem!minkey; ~3K))

“I have a game for you, baby. A challenge.” Minjung doesn’t say anything, waiting for Gwiboon to explain.

((Warning, rated S for smut))

Gwiboon thinks this may be her best idea yet.

“Minjung, baby, I have a present.” she calls out.

Minjung pops her head out from the closet.

“A present? For me?”

“Yup. Well, for us.”

Intrigued, Minjung comes out of the closet. Though she’s been getting dressed for ten minutes now, she’s apparently only gotten as far as picking out a shirt. Gwiboon hands her the present and Minjung opens it slowly.

“A vibe?”

“Mm. I won it in a giveaway. Supposedly, it’s one of those ones you can control from your phone. Want to try it?”

Minjung nods and works on getting it out of the packaging. Gwiboon’s already taken the liberty of making sure it’s got a full battery and that the app works correctly; after all, she can’t let simple oversight ruin her plans. She opens the app, watching to see when Minjung’s got it comfortable. She taps a pattern in when she starts looking at the instructions again.

“So the instructions say tha-”

Whatever insight Minjung was going to offer is cut off by a moan. Her body tenses and she shuts her eyes and Gwiboon is pleased.

“I read the instructions yesterday, baby.”

“Gwi,” she whines. “You gotta give me warning. One of these days my knees are going to buckle too hard and I’m going to-”

Gwiboon cuts her off with a different pattern. She stands and walks over to where Minjung’s trying her best to remain standing. She puts as hand under her chin and waits until the pattern runs out, until she opens her eyes.

“You’re going to what, baby?”

Minjung doesn’t answer right away, obviously trying to catch her breath. Gwiboon watches her eyes flicker every so often to Gwiboon’s phone, wary of her next move.

“My knees will buckle and I’ll-”

As anticipated, Gwiboon cuts her off again. Minjung desperately tries to find a hold on the wall. Her moans get louder and Gwiboon wonders if she’s close to coming, so she turns it off prematurely. Minjung’s shaking now.

“You’ll what, baby? Come on now, you have to tell me.”

“Fall.” Minjung replies, saying the word as quickly as she can before Gwiboon can mess with her again.

“Oh you want to fall? You should’ve said that sooner, baby.” Gwiboon says with a devilish grin, putting the vibrator on the highest programmed intensity.

Minjung tries to say something like ‘that’s not what I meant’ but like everything else in this conversation is lost in a moan. She frantically tries to hold the wall again, coming before she gets a hold on the doorframe. Gwiboon catches her, putting a leg between her thighs and wrapping an arm around her waist. Minjung shakes and does her best to bury her head in Gwiboon’s neck, clinging to her. Gwiboon slowly brings down the intensity level by level, until she turns it off so that Minjung might have a chance to breathe. Feeling Minjung’s racing heartbeat against her own and her hot breath on her collarbones almost makes Gwiboon discard her plans for the day. Almost.

“Do you like the present, baby?”

Minjung hums, trying to regain control of her legs. Gwiboon walks her over and tips her back so that she can lay on their bed. Minjung goes to take it off, but Gwiboon stops her hand.

“I have a game for you, baby. A challenge.”

Minjung doesn’t say anything, waiting for Gwiboon to explain.

“If you can leave it on and let me play with you the whole time we’re out running errands, without asking to take it off, then I’ll reward you when we get home. It’s totally okay if you don’t want to, and if you decide it’s too much in the middle, there won’t be any punishment beyond not getting your reward.”

“What’s the reward?”

“You’ll have to be a good girl to find out.”

“Where...where all are we going today?”

“We’re going for lunch and then going to the store so I can find a dress for that picnic this weekend. Maybe one or two other places if you’re a good girl.”

“And we’re riding the bus?”

“Of course, we’re riding the bus, baby.”

Minjung nods, expression somewhere between terrified and exhilarated. She bites her lip, obviously torn.

“You can make three rules for me, baby, if you’re worried about it.”

Minjung’s eyes light up.

“Don’t...please don’t mess with it when I’m trying to talk to people. It’s okay here, with you, but it’s already scary enough to talk to people without having to worry about freaking them out.”

“I can accept that. Any more?”

“If...this is more of a request, but please don’t just edge me the whole time. I want to be good, I really really want to be good, but I don’t want it to end up like last time we tried something like this...”

Gwiboon thinks of the last time. They had spent the day at the mall and everytime they went into a bathroom or dressing room, Gwiboon would edge her. It had gone well at first, but it quickly got to be too much for Minjung and she ended up crying almost the whole way home.

“I’ll accept that, but there’s a rule on my side with it. I won’t edge you the whole time, but that means anytime we sit somewhere, you have to come at least once.”

“Even at the restaurant?”

“We’re going to that deli in the mall with the big booths and dark lighting. So yes.”

Minjung lays quietly, weighing her options. Gwiboon pulls Minjung’s hand up to her lips, kisses at her wrist.

“I’m going to go finish getting ready while you think about it, alright?”

Minjung nods, finally getting the strength to sit up. It doesn’t take long for Gwiboon to finish getting ready -- she was already dressed anyway -- but Minjung decides long before she’s finished. She’s halfway through her makeup when Minjung walks into the bathroom, resting her hands on Gwiboon’s hips.

“I want to do it.”

“There’s a good girl. I’m almost ready, why don’t you go finish?”

“What...what should I wear? On the bottom?”

“A skirt would probably be good, with a pair of shorts underneath. We don’t want any big wet spots to catch us, now do we?”

She twists around and gives Minjung a kiss. Minjung nods and goes to finish getting ready.

*

Minjung holds Gwiboon’s arm the whole walk to the bus stop. When they get there, the bus is still a few minutes away. She looks at the bench, at the open spot next to Gwiboon, but stops herself.

“You don’t want to sit, Jungie?” Gwiboon teases.

“I’m...I’m fine standing. Besides, what...what if a mom or an elderly person comes and needs that seat?”

“Suit yourself.”

Gwiboon raises the intensity by one level and Minjung lets out a squeak. There’s no one else at the stop yet and Gwiboon can’t help but laugh at the way that Minjung is trying to control her blush. She’s raised it two more levels by the time someone else comes along. They have headphones on and stand on the other side of the shelter. Minjung sighs in relief when Gwiboon turns it back down to the lowest level, but her happiness is short lived. Gwiboon starts sprinkling in moments of high intensity, making her squirm. She starts trying to cough to mask her moans. The woman on the other side of the shelter glances over at them.

“You’ll have to excuse her, she’s having bad allergies. It’s nothing contagious.” Gwiboon explains.

The woman nods and looks away.

“Gwi...”

Gwiboon looks at a Minjung with the most innocent face she can manage.

“Yes, Jungie?”

“I...the bus is coming.”

Gwiboon turns just as the bus parks at the stop. The woman gets on first. They can hear the noise from the occupants before they even get on and Gwiboon bites back a smile. She pays their fare and they sit down at the very back of the bus. There’s a number of teens yelling in the middle of the bus, perfect to mask any noise from Minjung. Minjung is reluctant to sit once again.

“Jungie, aren’t you going to sit down?” Gwiboon whispers.

“I...I thought I...I’d stand in case someone needs the seat.”

“What if I want you to sit down?”

Minjung looks at Gwiboon, who’s doing her best to look strict without being demanding.

“There’s a lot of stops before ours, Jungie, your legs will get tired."

Minjung swallows and moves to sit in the window seat. Gwiboon takes her hand, presses a kiss to the back of it. There’s six stops between them and the mall and Gwiboon intends to make good use out of five of them. She starts as before, simply raising and lowering the intensity at will. Minjung’s fidgeting badly by the second stop, biting her lip so hard Gwiboon’s worried that she might draw blood.

“You’re being so good, why don’t you rest your head on my shoulder, Jungie?” she whispers.

Minjung does as she’s told, doing her best to get comfortable. Gwiboon moves from just the normal levels to patterns by the third stop. She’s pleased when Minjung squeezes her hand in the same pattern in response. By the fourth stop, Minjung’s doing her best to muffle her moans in Gwiboon’s shoulder. No one’s sat near them, but there are far more open seats at the front of the bus that it makes sense. Gwiboon stops tapping patterns, letting Minjung sit on the lowest intensity. Though she had promised Minjung that she’d have to come, she couldn’t help herself but to edge her a little. When they get stuck at a long red light, Minjung starts fidgeting around again, trying to get some sort of friction.

“Are you going to be a good girl?” Gwiboon asks quietly.

“Yes, Gwi, please.”

When the bus starts moving again, Gwiboon puts it on the highest intensity, lets Minjung bite her shoulder as she squirms from her orgasm. She puts it back down on the lowest when she starts to whine ever so quietly. Gwiboon doesn’t do anything the rest of the ride, letting Minjung rest enough that she’ll be able to walk off the bus. When their stop comes, Gwiboon has to reach over to pull the signal. Minjung holds her hand, more tightly than before, and they quietly make their way to the mall. When they hit empty areas of the mall, Gwiboon randomly puts a few taps in, laughing at the way Minjung squeals and squeezes her hand.

“Gwi...” she whines.

“Yes, Jungie?”

“I’m trying to walk here...”

“You’re doing a good job, Jungie. You’re successfully putting one foot in front of the other, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but...”

A few high pulses quiets her once again as she puts all her focus into walking. Soon enough they reach the restaurant and Minjung holds their table while Gwiboon orders for them at the counter. Though she wants to keep messing with her, the chances of a staff member walking up to her to see if she needs help is too high -- breaking Minjung’s trust is the last thing she wants to do -- so she just leaves it at the intensity that Minjung’s comfortable with. She comes back with their lunches and smiles at the little pile of torn up napkin that sits in front of Minjung.

“I have an alternative for you, Jungie.”

“Yeah?”

Gwiboon passes her phone over to Minjung for her to read.

While I’d love to watch you squirm as you try to eat, I don’t want you to choke and I don’t want staff interrupting. So either a) we can continue as agreed before or b) i’ll let you mostly off the hook for now, leaving it running low, but when we get to the dressing room you have to make up the orgasm

“B.” Minjung replies without a second thought. “Thank you, Gwi.”

“No problem, Jungie.”

*

Minjung’s fidgeting again by the time Gwiboon’s picked out her dresses and they head for the dressing room. It’s empty and there’s no attendant in sight so they quickly go the one furthest back. Gwiboon pulls Minjung close and gives her a kiss.

“I want you to sit on the bench for me. Take your shorts off and sit on them and pull your skirt up so I can see your pretty panties, okay? Can you be good and do that for me?”

Minjung nods as if entranced and does as she’s told. There’s music blaring throughout the store and it gives Gwiboon an idea. There’s a setting claiming that it’ll sync up with any talking or music playing so Gwiboon activates it and watches Minjung’s grip on her skirt tighten. She laughs at lets it go while she puts on the first dress. It’s a little too revealing for a work picnic, so she moves on to the second one. In the mirror, she can see Minjung trying to hide her face in her skirt.

“Show me your eyes, Jungie. Don’t hide.” she whispers, turning to grab the next dress.

While the vibrator obviously has her excited, it’s clear that it’s just too light to push her over the edge. Once the dress is on, Gwiboon turns to face Minjung.

“Do you like this one or the old one better?” she asks, turning it up to full intensity.

Minjung comes before she gets the chance to answer. If her underwear wasn’t already soaked before, it would be now. Unlike before, Gwiboon only turns it down one level.

“Jungie, I need your opinion, which dress do you like better?”

Minjung moves to hold onto the bench below her, toes curling and leg shaking so much that her shoes fall off. Gwiboon walks over, puts her hand to Minjung’s cheek. She kisses her forehead just before she comes again, moving to grip Gwiboon’s arms instead.

“Be good and tell me which you like better, mm?”

She turns the vibrator down another level and Minjung manages to point at the other dress.

“You like that one better?”

Minjung nods, biting her already swollen lip again. Gwiboon gives her a kiss and turns it back down to the lowest setting.

“You look so pretty, Jungie. Such a good girl.”

Gwiboon moves to change back into her clothes so that Minjung can rest. Her chest is heaving, still trying to get air back into her lungs, but her blush and shy smile tell Gwiboon that she’s still enjoying it. She leaves the level low as they check out and walk back to the bus stop. The battery doesn’t have much time left on it, so Gwiboon makes the most of the time she has left. Once again, she apologizes to the other people waiting for Minjung’s ‘allergies’. They get off two stops early, to Minjung’s surprise, and the battery dies the moment they get off the bus.

“Gwi, did you...is it...”

“You did so well today, you were such a good girl.” Gwiboon whispers to her.

Minjung smiles shyly, unable to blush anymore. She lets Gwiboon lead the way until they end up at a candy store.

“What are we getting here?” Minjung asks, eyeing the counter.

“Whatever you want. You did as I asked, so as part of your reward you can get whatever you want. I have $10, pick out whatever.”

Minjung’s face lights up and she walks to the counter as fast as her legs will go. She picks out her truffles and they get back on the bus to finish heading home.

*

Once inside, Gwiboon takes Minjung into her arms.

“You were such a good girl today.” she says, kissing her cheek.

“Thank you, Gwi.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“I did, but I don’t think I’d like it often.”

“It wouldn’t be often, baby. Just a once in a while thing, if we want.”

Gwiboon keeps Minjung pressed up against the door with kisses a while longer, until she notices Minjung resting more and more on her.

“Why don’t you go shower and I’ll make us a snack?”

Minjung nods, walking off towards their room, putting a hand against the wall to steady herself the whole way. Gwiboon smiles at the sight, waiting to hear the door shut before she moves to the kitchen. It takes the whole time Minjung’s in the shower for her to make Minjung’s favorite snack -- super loaded nachos -- and she’s barely finished assembling it by time Minjung walks out. Her face lights up when she sees the bowl.

“Did you make those for me??”

“Of course, baby. They’re one of your treats, right?”

“Yeah! I just thought the chocolates were my reward.”

“They were part of it, but you were good enough that I decided you deserve a bigger reward than just that.”

Minjung looks like she might cry and Gwiboon walks forward to wrap her arms around her.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing...nothing’s wrong. I just...just tried really hard and...and I’m glad I...I made you happy.”

Gwiboon smiles softly and kisses her nose.

“You always make me happy, Minjung. If you love me, then that’s enough to make me happy.”

“I do, I really love you, Gwi.”

“I love you too, baby. Now come on, let’s sit down before the nachos get cold.”

The rest of the afternoon is spent watching tv; Minjung sits in Gwiboon’s lap, happily eating her nachos while Gwiboon presses soft kisses to her forehead and cheek. When the nachos are gone, she gets her box of chocolates off the counter. She eats half a truffle, giving Gwiboon the other.

“I’m surprised you got just truffles.”

“They were on sale so I figured I could get more if I chose them.”

“You didn’t want jelly beans, baby?”

“Are you kidding? My legs are jelly enough!”