#i put a -furen in here which means -zongzhu is probably only a matter of time

[carolyncaves]

This is for Day 28 Bliss, but it’s also the make-up for Day 21 Charm - I told y’all I had a plan for that one, didn’t I? Welcome back to the ace!JC vs ‘The Bachelor’ AU. 1749 words, Ace!Jiang Cheng, OC, speed dating, JC is having a terrible time, so is Lu Lian

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There were eight suitors, and they arrived with their chaperones at Lotus Pier in time for a lunch banquet. They were all very lovely. They acted refined and dignified, they treated his servants and one another warmly, they were each probably intelligent and talented in various ways, and they all deserved husbands who were not Jiang Cheng.

The one in the left corner looked positively ill, she was so angry.

It took Jiang Cheng’s brain several seconds to catch up, because it was so out of line with the rest of the scene. Most of these women had to be convinced to come, but they were here because they would be willing to consider Jiang Cheng if it meant marrying a sect leader and were interested in being considered in return. This one – she was his age or even slightly older, old enough that her family had to be apoplectic she wasn’t married – did not want to be here, did not want to be considered, and did not want to marry Jiang Cheng.

He could relate. Still, it was weird.

///

After the banquet, the agenda was for him to have tea with each one in succession. Jiang Cheng didn’t know how he was supposed to drink that much tea, but obviously none of this had anything to do with him or his comfort, so he didn’t argue. His agenda was to get this over with.

The first suitor was a woman from Gusu, an outer disciple of the Lan sect. From Jiang Cheng’s observation of the group, she was probably the most objectively beautiful. That obviously meant less than nothing to Jiang Cheng. Properly it should mean little to anyone actually looking for a wife instead of a decoration, but Jiang Cheng had resigned himself to failing to understand other people’s priorities long ago.

Her father joined them in the tea room, as did Jiang Cheng’s head of household. She bent down and informed him sotto voce, “This suitor was recommended by Wei-qianbei. He says …” She glanced at her book. It wasn’t because she needed to refresh her memory of the words – his advisor had an excellent memory. Reluctance, then, because his brother … because Wei Wuxian had said something stupid.

Jiang Cheng turned to look. She angled the book so he could read.

If it’s merely an aesthetic reluctance, I recommend you consider Shu Qi – I can personally attest that the people of Gusu are the most talented in the world in the amorous arts, so if you’re looking to be initiated, perhaps she could do the trick : )

Jiang Cheng could feel his brain beginning to boil. He would fling himself off the cliff at Nightless City himself before he would go around matching Wei Wuxian and Hanguang Jun. Or maybe he should drag Wei Wuxian there and heave him over again instead. He’d sent this woman all the way here for nothing more than a fleeting joke at Jiang Cheng’s expense.

He drank tea with Shu Qi politely, and at some point in the conversation – mostly driven by his advisor – it came out that her father was originally from Yunmeng and they’d had a chance to visit his hometown and see his parents – her grandparents – along the way. Jiang Cheng forgave Wei Wuxian one quarter of one inch.

He drank tea with several additional suitors in succession, each as pleasant and educated and unsuitable as the rest. Some tried in vain to engage him in conversation. Some sat quietly, having apparently gathered from his demeanor at the banquet or the reports from previous suitors this was unlikely to be a fruitful excursion.

For one, a woman from Yiping City, her brother who was chaperoning her sat down at the table with them. This was unusual, but he had already dealt with a wide range of fathers, brothers, and one particularly memorable auntie, so he paid it little mind. Then she introduced him as her didi – also unusual, but perhaps she had no elder brothers, and perhaps her father had been too busy to attend himself – and about a sentence and a half into her description of his “many endearing charms”, Jiang Cheng clocked that the suitor and the chaperone were in fact the other way around.

“Who nominated this one?” Jiang Cheng asked his head of household, at the first reasonably courteous opportunity.

“The Wang suitor was selected by your faithful staff,” she replied.

“Ah,” was all he said. He supposed he should be grateful for their unambiguous support of his cut-sleeve yearnings, even though they were nonexistent. He muttered something to about how ‘charm’ wasn’t precisely his type – it seemed courteous to let them know he understood and was declining – and passed a fairly pleasant rest of the half hour with the Wangs in which they chatted with each other and left him to drown himself in oolong in peace.

There were only a few more. Once the teas were through, maybe he could call off the rest of this with at least a hint of respectability.

///

The angry one was second to last.

Her name was Lu Lian. He learned this from her paternal uncle, who was her very enthusiastic chaperone. The woman herself said nothing, stared at the table, and barely touched her tea.

“Lian would make a marvelous wife, Sect Leader,” the uncle said. “She has sterling manners and speaks and writes well. She knows how to keep a dignified household in order, from my wife’s good example – not that our manor holds a candle to Lotus Pier, of course, but Lian is capable, more than capable of rising to the task. She maintains my books and records for me, in fact, and has always done so without flaw or error – so you see, it would be hard for me to lose her, a constant fixture of my household for the past fourteen years. But if you two were to marry, I would be willing to, in hopes of achieving a lifetime of marital bliss for my beloved niece, and for you as well, Sect Leader.”

Lu Lian was glaring at the kettle so harshly Jiang Chang would have thought she could boil tea that way. For an beloved member of the family her uncle was reluctant to part with, she certainly seemed to be here rather against her will.

“I assure you, she is not so deathly quiet most of the time,” the uncle said with a threadbare jollity. “She does not talk too much, of course!” Apparently someone had gotten ahold of one of Jiang Cheng’s matchmaker lists. “But she has a good head on her shoulders.”

The silence stretched. Jiang Cheng could practically see the uncle trying to calculate how he might command his niece to act friendlier without being obvious about it. As if he wasn’t already. Jiang Cheng was no fool, and he didn’t even have a reputation as one like Nie Huaisang that would give this man an excuse.

Lu Lian’s hands were curled into tight fists on her knees.

“You can step outside if you want,” he told her across the table. “You’re welcome to the porch, there.” He picked up his cup, gestured with it, and took a sip.

Lu Lian’s brow dipped. She looked at the door, and then – for the first time, probably – at him.

“Take your tea,” he suggested. She’d come all this way, so she might as well get to drink it.

One of her hands uncurled slowly, reaching out and claiming her cup from the table. She rose and let herself out, shutting the door gently behind her.

The uncle looked appalled. “Ah, Sect Leader, please forgive my niece. She has been so eager to meet you since we received the invitation, she’s simply overcome with nerves! I hope you will be generous enough to give her another chance when she returns. Why don’t I go fetch her for you?”

“No,” Jiang Cheng said, leaving the man helpless to do anything but stand there and wait, pinned by his order. He ignored him entirely, turning to his advisor. “Who recommended Lu Lian?”

“Sect Leader Nie,” she read out of her book, voice tinged with the same puzzlement Jiang Cheng felt. He wouldn’t have expected Nie Huaisang to make such a poor choice. “Apparently the new Nie-furen knew her for a time when they were young.”

He and his advisor exchanged a look. People could change a great deal from when they were young. Jiang Cheng knew that all too well himself.

Still, the combined involvement of Nie Huaisang and Zhang Meihua gave him pause. It made it less likely this was a thoughtless choice and more likely a deviously thoughtful one. This was an inane situation which Nie Huaisang had himself contrived, but within it, Lu Lian was the suitor that most stood out.

She stayed outside for the full half hour, which gave Jiang Cheng time to turn the puzzle over in his mind and come up with the rudiments of a plan – one that would get him, and in the process also Lu Lian, out of this. He would have to sit through one more tea first, but that might truly be the end of it.

When she finally came in, she stood uncertainly in the doorway, her empty cup held limply in front of her.

“Take an ozmanthus cake when you go,” he offered. “And more tea, if you want it.”

The uncle was glaring unsubtle daggers at her, gesturing with his posture toward Jiang Cheng as if he were trying to compel Lu Lian to petition him for additional time. Lu Lian did not heed him, stepping forward cautiously and taking one of the diamond-shaped cakes from the table. “Thank you, Sect Leader Jiang.” She set her cup down.

By the time he realized she was probably just intending to leave it, he was halfway through pouring her a new cup, which meant it was too late. “You’re welcome.”

She took it and left. Jiang Cheng looked significantly at the uncle, reminding him he was supposed to leave too, and he scurried after her.

Perhaps Jiang Cheng hadn’t given Nie Huaisang enough credit. He’d assumed his old ‘friend’ was trying to wheedle him into a relationship, but perhaps he’d actually set up the pieces so Jiang Cheng could knock them down in such a way as to ensure neither he nor Lu Lian would ever be hassled about getting married again.