#i promise you it's not just hehe show off woman hot even though it might be partially the case for her leggings

[pixxyofice]

'ohhh why didn't they give her a head implant' she's a fucking CHAI PARALLEL. you know what chai has. an implant in his chest. know what korsica obtained? implant in her chest

[llycaons]

final ch lb reposted bc it's not showing up in the tags???

AUGH THE CHAPTER IS CALLED DUNGEON MESHI. it's simple but I love it when they do that. perfect for dm, which is pared-down in themes but applies itself perfectly to what it wants to say

wow, damn, guess that makes sense, it's so amazing that laios brought so many people together with the simple promise of something that unites all living things - nourishment - and they in turn brought their own food to add to the communal pot. I would have liked to see more exploration of this community-building through food, but this is literally one of the only things I would change about dm it's so impeccable crafted

damn marcille

JESUS LAIOS

aw man, that's genuinely an awful thing to live with. this might be a happy ending, but laios lives with the consequences of his defeat of the demon

this is an actual medical condition too...people can get really sick

celebratory panel!!! ofc senshi is stoic (though without ever being unkind! he's unruffled without being cold) and izu doesn't rly care

sorry but 👀

THIS IS SO FUNNY. senshi being like 'I'm politely staying out of this' and everyone else being like 'yeah there's no way he's that selfless'

damn, what a step for marcille, who was so terrified of losing the people close to her

she's so hot here ugh

OHHH this visual is so cool

mmm tasty! her face says hehe she's so cute I missed her so bad. real babygirl material

yayy!!! and standing up suddenly able to walk, and TAKING the dragon with her??? that's so cute like a little plush

it would have been an interesting ending for her to maybe not recover the use of her legs? ending the story with a disability wouldn't have been a tragedy, and it's been done really well in other stories. like, I'm still me, this is a change that happened because of something I've been through, and it's something to adjust to and keep moving forward with. sorry to bring up tgcf here but sqx's storyline is truly so compelling like she DID that

SHES SO CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT. farlyn are you free friday I can take you to a movie and buy you dinner

really incredible how she's hot in one panel then charming in another then ravenous in the third. her range...

this is such lover behavior <3

AHHH SIBLING LOVE!!

marcille love!!! her legs lmao

😭😭😭 not many stories end this straightforwardly satisfyingly and honestly it's really really nice. a more bittersweet ending or a more 'mature' one might have had farlyn not come back at all a lesson abt death or w/e but fuck that!!

ohhhh sexy

STOP THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE!!! LOOK HOW HE'S SMILING. CRYING OVER THIS!!! character who barely know each other and have met like once before but will absolutely be friends for life. this might be my favorite panel in the chapter and maybe even series

PEACE AND LOVE ON THE PLANET EARTH

aww she's trying to reach out to izu. she's not someone who warms up to people easily but farlyn is just so lovable and sincere and weird that I can def see a friendship potentially for them

STOP STOP THIS IS SO CUTE. im so glad farlyn didn't get paired off or even god forbid MARRIED to that guy who likes her can you fucking imagine. maybe farcille isn't confirmed but they're real in our hearts and nothing disproves them

damn, pizza? I don't remember that

of course she does!!! she's outgoing and adventurous and loves to eat!

you know this story wouldn't have worked half as well if farlyn wasn't legitimately a charming and lovable character who was easy to get attached to and root for. if they tried going the jerk with a heart of gold route, it would have taken a lot longer and been harder to create sympathy for her. like how cql's appeal rests disproportionately on you liking and rooting for wwx, dungeon meshi's driving plot relied on you WANTING this woman to come back to life, to eat and see her friends and do her magic and get into her weird hobbies. and she's perfect! the writing doesn't rely on one cliched line or scene to get you to realize 'oh they're a good person despite their harsh exterior' to get you to root for her (even tho that's an underutilized technique for writing women), it just presents this oddball and lets you love her. rk is so good at writing women who feel like real people, it's a reason adore marcille - for her awkwardness, her judgement, her readiness to blow things up without thought. she's just a deeply uncool person who's very endearing

not to be a monarchist or anything but this is probably the best they could have gotten given the situation so I'm not going to complain too much. it's not like I read dm for in-depth and realistic political engagement

and this is like the easiest way to be a good leader. just care about your people getting the food they need. that's enough, really. I don't think laios is capable of much more anyway. it's not like he's a politican

also what does the succession line look like? I know he's not having a kid. omg kabru!! his face is so ajshdksad. and yayy marcille and farlyn staying to advise him together!!

oHHH SHIT. thesis statement of the series! also these babies are so fucking cute I can't deal. ik that one of them is a dog person but the other one??? is that an orc??? well take back what I said about just food being important. integration is happening here too - it's clear that laios's kingdom is welcoming of people like orcs who have historically been expelled from other places and violently targeted by other races. idk how he managed that but like, well done, laios!

you know I adore cql but it's such a relief to step into other stories that aren't quite so much about Good (TM ) in a vague and all-encompassing sense and also have characters who aren't laserfocused on one person and who you can envision making connections to and becoming close with other characters 😭 loving lwj is so hard sometimes loving farlyn is so easy always

[ga-yuu]

'Lust of lovers in the summer' Story Event~Morinaga Route

(It's hot again today....)

I walk in the sunshine, wiping the sweat off my face.

But despite the heat, joyful voices could be heard from all over the town.

Merchant 1: "It's almost the summer festival, isn't it? Morinaga-san and his friends are going to do something, aren't they? Have you heard the details?"

Merchant 2: "No, not at all. But it’ll be fun with that man leading the way."

Merchant 3: "Yes. I wonder, what's in store for us?"

(As expected of Morinaga-san..... Everyone is hyped.)

In order to liven up the town of Kamakura, which is suffering from the extreme heat, the samurai of Kamakura decided to hold a summer festival.

Morinaga-san was appointed by Yoritomo-sama to take charge of this.

He is now working with his men in one part of the town to prepare for the festival.

(I can only help by bringing some refreshments, but I hope the festival is a success.)

....................

(Oh, I think this is the workshop.)

It looks like they have just stepped out onto the back of the stage, which is being assembled.

Yoshino: "Um, hello. I've brought you some----"

Morinaga: "Oh hey, Yoshino. Come here."

(Ha!!!..... Half-naked Morinaga-san!)

His exposed, water-soaked upper body is a sight to behold.

Morinaga: "Oh, sorry about this. I was just taking a dip in the water because I was sweating at work."

Morinaga-san approached me looking like that.

Yoshino: "Erm....where are the others?"

Morinaga: "We decided to take a break a while ago."

Yoshino: "Um, Morinaga-san...if you could...wear your kimono back on...?"

Morinaga: "Why? You have already seen me like this last night. Are still embarrassed? No wait,.....You're embarrassed because you saw me like this last night, isn't it?"

Morinaga-san bent down lightly and looked into my eyes, and my cheeks heated up.

Yoshino: "Nn..Don't tease me....."

Morinaga: "Sorry, I must have hit the nail on the head."

Morinaga-san's smile deepens as I look away, unable to bear my embarrassment.

Morinaga: "You're so cute."

He looked at me with his sweet, lechery eyes and my heart clenched.

(But....I'm at the mercy of Morinaga-san all the time.)

I have only recently fallen in love with him, and I am swept away by the little antics of the more mature Morinaga-san.

Morinaga: "There's nothing wrong in having a shy face, but it's lonely when you look away so much."

Taking both my hands, Morinaga-san let me hook them around his neck, wondering what I was thinking.

(Wh-Whaa...this position?)

Morinaga: "You looked me right in the eye last night, didn't you? It was lovely to see you begging for it, .....but I don't think I'll see it again today."

Yoshino: "Mm...."

A thick-skinned finger flicked my lips, causing a slight sensation of pleasure.

Morinaga-san's face comes to me as if he was enjoying seeing me blushing....

We kissed,....a soft tongue crept through the opening to gently pamper my mouth.

Yoshino: "Hmm....ah..."

Morinaga: "At last a voice that sounds familiar..."

(Mm....I don't know, but it's like he's trying to revive the last night's memories...)

Morinaga-san embraces my waist with his big hands and melts me with his mouth.

In between, his hands start to trace my legs from my waist, reminding me of how he touched me last night.

From my toes to my head, I felt a sweet sensation that sent shivers down my spine.

Yoshino: "Haa.....No, Morinaga-san. Someone...might see us...."

Morinaga: "How can I stop, when you make that lovely face? You're such a sly, first, you make that face, and then you won't even let me play."

Yoshino: "What do....you mean by 'play'?"

Morinaga: "Play with you, of course."

Yoshino: "No. Not now....!"

I shouted and pressed the package against his chest and Morinaga-san chuckled.

Yoshino: "Are you teasing me....?"

Morinaga: "No,..... it's just that you're so comfortable with me that I got carried away."

(.....Mm)

A gentle but dangerous flame of greed burned in his eyes, which were drawn back by a pleasant smile.

As soon as I realized this, we kissed again.

Samurai 1: "Morinaga-sama! We're back!"

(.....!?)

Samurai 1: "Huh, I don't see Morinaga-sama."

Samurai 2: "Maybe he had gone somewhere?"

(Everyone is back....!)

A voice from the other side of the stage made me instantly impatient.

They are nice people who are happy to see us together, but there is no way I can show them this.

Yoshino: "Morinaga-san, they are all here. Let go now...."

I try to pull away, but the hand on my hip doesn't budge.

Morinaga: "Heh, are you sure you wanna go in front of other men with that face?"

Yoshino: "Mm....."

The back of his fingers brushed my cheek, kindling another sweet tingle.

Morinaga: "Teary eyes, blushing face.... I'm the only one allowed to see you like this. Isn't that right?"

Yoshino: ".....Y-Yes..."

Morinaga: "Yeah, good girl."

Satisfied with my reply, Morinaga-san comes closer and rubs the tip of our noses together....

When I had my fill of hidden kisses, the package I had to deliver was gently taken away.

Morinaga: "I'll deliver this. If they see you right now, I'll be jealous. Thank you, and be careful on your way back."

Yoshino: "Ah....."

(---Let's run.)

Even my breath is hot and I feel a little embarrassed again.

(Alas! What a sly person.......... who only makes me throb.)

.................

One day after that-----

Merchant 1: "Did you hear? There's going to be a big raffle at the festival, and everyone gets to draw once."

(Heh, I see.)

I came to the town to sell medicine and listened to the voices I heard.

But then----

Merchant 1: "And the raffle! The first prize is the right to have one wish granted by Morinaga-sama."

(Ehh?)

Merchant 2: "Is that so? Well, then we'll have our roof repaired."

Kids: "We want Morinaga-san to play with us!"

Merchant 3: "Hmmm, maybe I'll have a lesson in the art of gambling then."

(Hehe. There are many kinds of wishes.)

I smile as people talk happily about the festival.

Woman: "Really!, then, that I should invite Morinaga-sama on a date."

(....!?)

Merchant 1: "Well, maybe you will surely get your way with him! Now we'll all be participating in the raffle anyway!"

(No no no no.....whaa?)

I could no longer listen to their excited laughter with any sense of calm.

(Is it possible that Morinaga-san will go on a date with other women....?)

....................

Morinaga: "Ohhh, so I'm the prize. I've been a winner but never been a prize before."

Yoshino: "What do you mean, you didn't know?"

When I asked him about it after returning to the Imperial Palace, he gave me a very relaxed response.

Kagetoki: "You're very popular with people. It's going to be a lot of fun, isn't it?"

Morinaga: "I'm not sure if that was your idea, Kagetoki, I don't mind, though. But at the very least, you should have informed me about this. Yoritomo-sama, entrust this to me, you know?"

Kagetoki: "It's not going to change anything. It's up to you to make it happen."

Morinaga: "That's true."

As Morinaga-san pondered this, my concern deepened.

(.....I'm sure it's a good event, as the aim is to provide fun for the people of the town.)

(But what if Morinaga-san goes on to date with the person who drew the first prize...!)

...................

After Morinaga-san and Kagetoki-san had gone, I gave a small shrug of my shoulders.

(I don't want Morinaga-san to go on a date with....any other woman.)

Shigehira: "Yoshino-san, what are you doing here?"

Yoshino: "! Shigehira-kun."

When I expressed my concerns to Shigehira-kun, who said he would listen to me, he looked at me in dismay.

Shigehira: "Oh, dear! That's what you're worried about?"

Yoshino: "Yeah!"

Shigehira: "It's certainly possible that a woman with such hopes could win first prize."

(Mmmmm....)

Shigehira: "But I don't think he's going to take it very well with you around. I think you should talk to him directly, not me."

Shigehira: "----You guys are in love, right?"

Yoshino: "....! Thank you, Shigehira-kun."

(It's nice to have straightforward encouragement at a time like this.)

(Okay. Let's talk to Morinaga-san about this later.)

.................

But Morinaga-san was always busy, and time went by without him having a chance.

(Hmmm, what to do....)

The day before the festival, I was returning from the city to the palace with a troubled mind.

(Oh, I can hear some voices....)

(Morinaga-san must be rehearsing for his festival.)

I stopped to look around and a shrine happened to catch my eye.

(I'm not sure if I'll be able to see him today... can I ask God for help?)

I put my hands together, closed my eyes, and breathe.

(I have one wish....-----)

(May I win the first prize in tomorrow’s raffle!)

Morinaga: "You look very serious. Is something bothering you?"

Yoshino: "Ah, Morinaga-san.....!?"

Morinaga: "Hey. It's been a while since I've seen our face properly."

I looked up at the familiar voice and saw Morinaga-san standing right next to me.

Yoshino: "What are you doing here? I thought you were practicing?"

Morinaga: "Right. We were just about to wrap up. I was just about to join you. But what's wrong with you? It seems like you're asking God for help."

(Okay....there's no better opportunity than now.)

Yoshino: "Morinaga-san, I have something to talk about. Can I have some of your time?"

Morinaga: "Talk? About what?"

Yoshino: "If it's a bother then----"

Morinaga: "Not at all. You're always welcome to talk to me. Then come to my house tonight. It's been a while since we've spent any time together."

Yoshino: "Yes....!"

(I only got my promise. Thank you god.)

.........

Thus, I was invited to visit Morinaga-san in his room....

I went to the house at a time when the practice would be over and was immediately shown into Morinaga-san's room.

(Hmm. I don't think he's home yet....)

I relaxed my shoulders and looked around.

As I was wondering how I was going to start the conversation----

I heard someone's footsteps walking towards me.

Morinaga: "Here you are. Have I kept you waiting long?"

(Ah.....!)

Yoshino: "No, I just arrived...."

No sooner had I said this than Morinaga-san sat down in front of me.

Morinaga: "Come here."

(Ehh!)

He lifts me up by my waist and placed me on his lap.

Morinaga: "What do you wanna talk about? Let me hear it."

(Like this....!?)

This position, straddling on Morinaga-san's lap and resting my weight on them is too embarrassing.

But the hands that pulled me down to my waist wouldn’t allow me to move away.

Morinaga: "I'm getting a bit tired after all the work we've been doing for the festival. It wouldn't hurt to get a little energy from my own little girl for a night, would it?"

(That's a little.....)

My heart fluttered as I realized that the eyes staring at me had long since reached a fever pitch.

Morinaga: "Hey, can I kiss you?"

Yoshino: "....... Yes."

His slightly rough, masculine lips press softly against mine.

(Mm.....)

I haven't had the sensation of a moist, repeated kiss for days.

The feeling makes us breathless, and we lose ourselves in each other.

(Oh, my hands....)

I felt a gentle nudge of the leg that had been straddling my thigh, and the pit of my stomach slowly....melted.

The finger that entered through the hem of the kimono traced up my inner thigh as if it had seen through it.

(Ah-----no!)

I wondered at his hand, which had stopped just before touching my fragile part, and met his eyes, which narrowed happily.

Morinaga: "...I think I'd better go on from here after I've heard all your troubles. What's the matter?"

(Ngh....)

Yoshino: "Not fair....Morinaga-san..."

(You stopped it on purpose....!)

I looked at Morinaga-san, in tears and he smiles back at me.

Morinaga: "Don't get me wrong. You see, if I don't ask you now, I won't have the chance to ask later."

(Hm...Mm....)

The hand that had been touching my waist, started stroking lovingly, and I couldn't help but rock my hips unintentionally.

Yoshino: "This is....embarrassing..."

Morinaga: "Well then...

(Oh, I'm still at his mercy....)

Embarrassed, I finally gave up.

I started talking about how I was worried after hearing that anyone could be the winner in the raffle, and the winner could ask on a date with Morinaga-san.

I also revealed that I asked God to let me win the first prize.

Morinaga: "You're really cute."

Yoshino:"...Don't laugh."

Morinaga: "I'm not teasing you. I'm just really happy."

Morinaga-san stroked my cheek and my eyes softened....

Morinaga: "But Yoshino, in such case, you should turn to me, not to God. Because it's my job, not anyone's, to grant your request."

(Morinaga-san....)

Morinaga: "And don't worry. If someone asks me to do something like that, I'll let him off with a no. I know it's a bit unfair, but I'm not saying I'll not do anything. I've already got the most important woman in the world, it's only natural, right?"

(Nn....)

The sweetness of his voice as he says it gently makes my heart tighten.

Yoshino: "So I'm the only one who can go out with Morinaga-an, right....?"

Morinaga: "Of course. And going on a date... You're the only person I'd want to do these kinds of things with."

I repeated his words in a low voice and hugged Morinaga-san, tightly.

(That's great.... I told Morinaga-san and in no time I had nothing but happy feelings.)

Morinaga: "...Did I reassure you a little?"

Yoshino: "Yes, thank you! This way, even if I don't win the first prize I won't be jealous of anyone else. Maybe I won't even have to draw lots at all."

Morinaga: "You're of those people who lives in Kamakura, so you have the right to draw. The pride of the Kamakura Shogunate, it's the best thing that's happened all summer. Come and try it for yourself."

Yoshino: "Sure. I'll try it to test out my luck."

I replied with a smile-- and Morinaga-san suddenly looked into my eyes.

Morinaga: "....Yoshino. What do you want me to do if you win the first prize? What's your wish?"

Yoshino: "Well....I'd like to enjoy our time together. Morinaga-san, you're always surrounded by so many people. So I will ask you to let me have you all to myself."

Morinaga-san laughed aloud.

Morinaga: "I hope you’ll really wish that when you win."

...............

On the day of the festival---

(Wow, what a busy street.)

The town, decorated with festive decorations, was crowded with spectators.

On a special stage, Morinaga-san and his friends were just finishing their performance.

Samurai 1: "Ah! Morinaga-sama, Yoshino-san is here."

Yoshino: "Morinaga-san, Thank you for your hard work."

Morinaga: "Yeah.....!"

Looking back at him, Morinaga-san's eyes widened and then he immediately smiled.

Morinaga: "My god, you tied your hair up today. It's nice and cool. It suits you. Oh, by the way, did you draw the raffle? It's about to close."

Yoshino: "About that...."

Samurai 2: "You're just in time. Go on, take one."

When I picked up one from the raffle boxes offered to me, I was a little nervous.

(But I'm fine.)

I looked up at Morinaga-san and his kind, narrowed eyes reassured me.

Samurai 1: “Um.... Actually, we’re sorry.”

Yoshino: “Huh? What for?”

Surprised by the sudden apology, a few of the people swept their eyes apologetically.

Samurai 1: “We were there when Morinaga-sama was planned to be the first prize for the raffle.”

Samurai 2: “Later we realized that if a woman who liked Morinaga-sama drew the first prize, what would she wish for.... You guys have just recently started dating, and we should have stopped them.”

Samurai 3: “But this one time we couldn’t. But we support Morinaga-sama and Yoshino-san from the bottom of our hearts!”

(Eh)

Standing next to me, Morinaga-san laughs out loud,

Morinaga: “Thank you for worrying about me. But that’s okay. I’ve already talked to Yoshino about it, right?”

Yoshino: “Yes!”

Samurai: “! What.....”

Morinaga-san and I chuckled, though we apologized for the puzzled looks on everyone’s faces.

Morinaga: “Well, I’d better get ready for the result announcement. Will you come to see the results?”

Yoshino: “Yes! I want to see if I win the first prize!”

Morinaga: “I’m looking forward to it too. Win the first prize and keep me to yourself.”

As the sun went down, the excitement of the festival covered the town of Kamakura.

Morinaga: “Well, here we go! It’s time for the Kamakura summer lottery, which our main attraction.”

(Finally....!)

The festival site was the most exciting place of the day.

Thanks to the support of the Shogunate, the prizes are all very generous.

(We all want to be challenged, don’t we?)

Many people who have won the raffle were happy with their prizes, while some were disappointed.

The tension and excitement grew with each successive announcement of the third and second prizes.

Morinaga: “And now, for the most awaited one! The first prize! I’ll grant the person who wins first prize, one wish. You can ask me any favor you want...-----”

Premium END // Epilogue

I loved it! I loved every bit of this story. So who do you think will win? Will it be Yoshino? or some random woman? or a kid? or Yoritomo-sama?.....you’re all free to guess.

[bakatenshii]

Katsuki x Leese HCs

I uhhh have no excuses for this. This turned out so much longer than expected and I just?? Hope you don’t lose too many braincells hehe Inspired by our mutual obsession love for the Yakuza. For @lookslikeleese 3.5k! U make my kokoro doki doki ♡︎ \٩(๑`^´๑)۶/ ♡︎

So we all know Weese Leese as this saint, an angel sent from above, a pure soul that could do no wrong.

Leese, who puts up with our spamming, random bursts of thirst at 4am, answering everyone with nothing less than kind words straight out of a self-help book.

The reincarnation of Mother Theresa herself, if you will (minus the controversial problematic part)

Except I’m bout to blow your mind right now, cue the big TRIGGER WARNING: MIND BLOWING INFO AHEAD:

She’s a bit of a closet brat. No, not the kind that’s outwardly sassy, she’s just not a pushover. And maybe a lil stubborn.

Especially if someone who has no right to challenge her is speaking down to her.

See: 6’3, beeg beefy undercut Katsuki

Katsuki, who’s patrolling his district in the Kabukicho, making sure no one’s doing illegal business in his area, his property

He probably didn’t need two bodyguards with him, he could handle himself just fine. (He doesn’t know that they were just there to keep him in line, make sure he doesn’t blow up a hostess club because a man walked in who looked like Deku)

But it was a spectacle to see either way, three massive tatted men storming down the rowdy streets like it’s nobody’s business— (soon there might be none left if they keep scaring the fucking customers away)

Don’t get impatient, we’ll tie them together somehow I promise, and no they’re not going to fight over spilt boba this time

(Or any mugging of any kind, though that’s a good fuckin trope that I will shamelessly re-use)

Weese Leese is walking home from work, and sees some sketchy men in a dingy alleyway in sunglasses and suits— she knew right away that they were Top Tier suspy

I mean, if the way they were trying to coerce an innocent-looking girl in school uniform didn’t already give it away, the sunglasses at 8pm definitely did the job.

So Weese Leese took her whole Mother Theresa, Thou Shalt Not Hurt an Innocent Girl (pls no one religious attack me please) ass over

Because she’s too good for this world, honestly

Can’t help but jump in to try and help someone in potential danger, she knew it all too well herself.

Of course the men flip out, screaming at her to fuck off or take the poor girl’s spot

(for the sake of this AU we’re going to pretend that either we all speak fluent anime Japanese or it’s in English, plotholes be damned)

This is when Big Boss Katsuki comes marching in, wide as the alleyway itself, and—

Doesn’t come to Weese Leese’s aid, SIKE yall thought he was gonna be a knight in shining armour?

Nah, he’s pissed that a random woman is sticking her nose in somewhere she doesn’t belong

There’s a lot of ‘aniki’s and ‘oyabun’s and ‘kumicho’s going around, and Weese Leese has seen enough Yakuza movies fantasized about enough tatted men with missing pinkies to understand that she fucked up

Sort of.

This 200lbs of pure muscle of a man is the Head of Some Family, probably, and like, yeah, realistically she should be flittering in fear, but the only thing she’s getting are fanny flutters (alliteration or whatever, we out here)

BUT how much she wants to fuck this man still doesn’t excuse the fact that his subordinates were trying to force a (most-likely) underage girl into fuck-knows-what

So when Katsuki, in true aggressive on-brand fashion, practically roars out a

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, woman? Stay in your lane, this is my business”

She actually, to everyones surprise, retorts:

“Maybe teach your subordinates to use their brains a lil and pick out someone who’s not clearly underage and still in uniform next time, then.”

So now we’re back to the beginning, end of the: record scratch, freeze frame, ‘Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here’ sequence

Told you it’d all tie together, sans-boba

Back to the show:

Katsuki’s fucking shocked, kinda impressed, but mostly pissed off that some ‘stupid woman’ is talking back to him telling him how to run his business

Weese Leese is… kind of terrified, mostly turned on though, because her brain’s wiring must’ve gotten tangled when she turned into this alleyway.

Sucks for him because she had a point, and Katsuki’s not fucking blind— he can see the uniform clearly on this stupid girl’s body.

They deal with it some Yakuza way, I’ll spare yall the details and me the work of doing research and writing more nonsensical irrelevant waffle (because weese has the attention span of a 3 year old and doesn’t like long drawn out narratives boohoo)

Cut scene back to Katsuki, his two irrelevant bodyguards, and Weese Leese, stood alone in the alleyway.

He’s fuming because she’s demanding an apology for his attitude, his bodyguards are only slightly worried they might have to repave the alleyway (again), and Weese Leese is…

scanning any sliver of exposed skin for some yummy scary tattoos

Long story short, one long passive aggressive (from Leese’s end), straight up aggressive (from Katsuki’s end), argument later, he swallows his pride and offers her a drink at a local bar he owns as a means of apology.

because he’s not saying those words

(also to flex, he’s a proud bastard, he is)

We’ve all read Weese Leese’s hcs about drunk! Leese right? So we know how bold she is?

And how touchy she is and how her brain-to-mouth filter takes a holiday on a Caribbean island so she’s spouting shit like ‘show me your tattooooooos’ and not noticing how he’s blushing in response?

Drunk! Leese gets too drunk, and conveniently loses her keys (she just can’t find them, dont worry we’re not losing deposit money here) so in true Josei manga fashion, he takes her to a hotel 

(THAT HE OWNS, HE OWNS EVERYTHING, OYABUN KATSUKI COMING THROUGH)

Because he can’t take her back to his, obviously. Not only is that embarrassing but also dangerous.

(Not that he cares what happens to her, obviously)

Stupid fucking tsundere

Do they diddle the do at the hotel? You decide, but they definitely diddle the do the next morning when she wakes up, sees him splayed on the bed on his stomach and she absentmindedly traces over the back-piece he’s got.

Yeah, he’s for a back-piece. It’s entirely self-indulgent, I don’t care. He’s also got all ten of his fingers because I say so.

And he wakes up with a raging boner mighty need and a half naked girl in his bed caressing the muscles on his back and

BLEEP

Insert censor bar here.

He doesn’t admit that he likes her, of course he doesn’t. Do you even know how tsunderes work?

He just thinks she’s nice, and comforting, let’s him be loud and angry all he wants, but can also stand her own ground and so, so lovely fun to be around. She’s great company, that’s all.

The head of a house needs a woman to play around with, right? That’s what all his shateis say (see: Yakuza term for younger brothers)

So what if they don’t buy their women flowers, take them to fancy dinners at restaurants they own, pound them against the penthouse windows of hotels they own, and begrudgingly take hot soaks in the fancy marble bathtubs the morning after.

He’s just better than them, that’s all.

He’s always the best at what he does, always has to be #1, so courting a woman shouldn’t be any different.

It’s not until his shateis poke fun at how soft he’s become and asks him when he’s inviting her to move in when he realizes—

fuck.

He’s in too deep.

But there’s something special about fucking his woman on the ancient tatami flooring of the house, (he’d only had to replace two holes, so he’s doing alright to be fair) 

Or outside on the wooden planks of the hallway, legs pushed down to her ears as he plows her in front of the judging eyes of the Koi fish in the Japanese garden.

Or having her parade around in clothes he chooses for her, proudly displaying her as his. And so they live happily ever after, Yakuza movie style.

They might pop out an heir within the next two years, but that’s all for the better, right? Gotta continue the bloodline and whatnot.

edit: weese made a picrew with yakuza! katsuki

[jiminsfault]

Clumsy Christmas | knj

— pairing: idol!Namjoon x reader

— genre: fluff

— word count: 2.1k

— warnings: fluffy fluff, a lot of love, established relationship, boyfriend!Namjoon, clumsy and pouty Joonie, slightly jealous Namjoon but in an adorable way, teasing, Namjoon is size-bullying you

— summary: when Namjoon decided to help with the decorations, something was bound to break. This year it had to be his present.

— A/N: I really wanted to post a fic for a special accasion since I havent been able to post a birthday fic for any of the boys yet! ugh :( so heres a christmas fic!! I hope you like it, come tell me if you do :~)

Thank you @maptoyoongi​ once again for the beautiful banner! uwu

masterlist

Christmas shopping was the hardest and least joyful part of the holiday season, your money practically flying out of your pockets, not knowing if the presents will bring smiles upon your loved one’s faces. 

With the boys being busy, you hadn’t had the chance to catch all of them to ask for their christmas wishes, so you had to improvise. 

Grabbing funny sweaters for Seokjin and Yoongi, a tie with a cute print plus a matching headband with bells on it for Taehyung and a plush bunny for Jungkook was your first instinct. Then you realized, Yoongi would probably despise you for buying you a sweater with a reindeer on it, Jungkook is a grown man and has made that clear multiple times and Taehyung doesn’t like wearing ties that don’t match his aesthetic. 

So besides the present for the oldest, who you know will love the silly present, you still had nothing. Putting the things back where they belonged, you left the sparkly store. The mall was shining, full of decorations. Very warm, comfortable almost. Also very loud and full, but still pretty. 

What even would you get Hoseok? He told you multiple times whenever you even just mentioned christmas, that he wouldn’t need anything from you. 

“Your presence is a blessing on it’s own, why would I need anything else?” He charmed with a big smile. Namjoon, slumping next to you, grumbled and reached his foot to kick his brother. “Leave my girlfriend alone! Asshole..” he pouted.

Smiling at the memory of the conversation, you almost ran into a woman. She stood in front of a store with her mouth open in awe, eyes big and hastily reaching for and tugging on the sleeve of the man’s jacket, who was standing next to her. 

“Look! It’s so pretty!” She squealed. Your interest had been piqued and you risked a glance toward the window full of decor. It was pretty indeed. 

On show were to plastic hands holding, each wrist decorated with matching bracelets. Looking for the price tag, you walked a little closer. The couple had left, the woman being dragged off by her boyfriend. And as you found the price tag, you probably knew why he dragged her off. 

It was expensive. Much more than you were willing to pay for all of the gifts, much less just for one. But it just fit. Namjoon always wanted to show you off but never found a way around the public. 

Being his girlfriend wasn’t linked to posting cute selfies and wearing partner outfits. He wanted to try rings, but fans would notice how he would wear a band on his finger. At least a partner ring looks much more official than all the other rings he was always wearing. Bracelets this thin and subtle would never be noticed by any fans. 

Happy with your mind settled, you walk into the store to get the jewelry, getting them packed into a box with a band to hang it up.

“Now only five more! What will I get for the rest of them?..” you mumble to yourself, looking around the display windows to find the right gifts for each of the boys. 

After a successful day full of christmas shopping, preparing cookie dough and listening to festive songs, you decided to take out the decorations to hang on the tree. 

It was pretty big, filling out all the space in the boy’s living room. Because of its size and weight Jungkook had to get help from both Jin and Taehyung, the three of them carried it inside and made sure that the trunk was tight in the clasp of the christmas tree stand. 

When they were busy installing it, Jin suddenly let go and screamed “TIMBER!!” in a high pitch, making Taehyung retreat because of the shock. The joke almost resulted in the tree actually falling because Jungkook couldn’t hold it up on his own. Luckily Taehyung’s reflexes were fast enough in order for him to grab it just in time.

Laughing because of all the chaos, you threw a thumbs up in Jin’s direction, grinning at his mischief. They left shortly after to let you do your decorating, you stressed that you wanted to do it completely on your own and they had practice to attend anyway. 

A mug of hot chocolate later and about an hour of decorating, you were stretching up to reach the top of the tree. When you weren’t succeeding you let out a little noise of frustration. You’re really not that small, you swear. A regular size, some might say. But you still couldn’t reach where you wanted to hang one of the prettiest christmas balls. 

“Can I help you, dwarf?” Your boyfriend suddenly appeared from behind you. You let out a surprised yelp, almost dropping the decoration in you hand. He laughed, holding your shoulders in case you fell over. 

“Woah! Calm down, little horse.” He thought he was so funny. “Let me do this, yeah?” He said with his signature dimpled smile. 

“Why did nobody tell me that the christmas tree was already standing up? I would’ve helped.” Namjoon almost pouted. Even though he had a group to lead, songs to write and meetings to attend, he still insisted on doing even more things in this house. 

Grabbing the rest of the fairy lights, lametta and some bells, he smiled at you and started decorating the tree. Namjoon was more than tall enough to reach all of the tree without poking his face. 

It went good for a long while. Until…

Namjoons bad luck and clumsy feet had to chime in of course, making him lose his balance when he reached to put the big star on top of the tip. Wobbling around for a bit, he managed to hold himself up with a little help of you at his waist and he grabbed the tree to make sure it doesn’t fall over from his swinging. 

With the movement he managed to push off the little blue box you hid inside of the branches. It contained the christmas present you bought for him and with shock in your eyes you had to witness it drop onto the floor. 

Being the curious person that Namjoon just was, he couldn’t ignore the little box. Bending down, he picked it up. Still like a statue you stand next to him, mouth open and hand reaching out to hold him back by his sweater. 

“Whats this?” He asked, smiling at you with a glint in his sharp eyes. “A present? Perhaps for me?” His smile grew and his dimples deepened. 

“N-no, it’s… it’s for Hobi! Don’t open it, you never keep your mouth shut about secrets!” You exclaim, rushing to take the box out of his hand, but he grasped it and lifted his arm. With your short legs, not even tippy toes will help you get the present back. 

“I wonder what it could be?” He said, rising his voice in question. Laying his free hand on his chin, he acted like he was thinking hard. “Maybe a watch? Or do you want to propose to me?” He screeched, eyes big and a child like expression on his face. 

“No, Namjoon! As I said, it’s a present for Hobi, not you.” You said, crossing your arms in front of your chest, pout present. 

He grinned, “hehe, sure! I’m sure you love Hobi so much more than me, you just had to buy him the watch I wanted, right babe?” So he really insisted in this, huh? Why not play along for a little, then.

“Right! Hoseok mentioned that he wanted the same watch, I only had money for one of them. Since you’re happy with just kisses, I decided to give it to him.” His face falls, believing your teasing. 

“Wait, you’re not serious, right? The watch is for me, babe!” He whined. Taking his arm out of the air, he looked at the box droopy and disappointed. Your heart couldn’t take it, his puffy lips pouting and his shiny eyes looking down at the box in his hands. 

You cooed, rubbing your hands up and down his arms. “No, baby, don’t be sad. It’s not for Hobi. But it isn’t the watch either..” trailing off, you lay your hands on his cheek to lift his face so that he looked at you. 

“Oh I don’t care if it’s the watch or something else! As long as it’s for me,” Namjoon grinned and looked at the box again. “Soo..” he looked at you with big eyes.” 

Already sensing that he still wanted to find out what exactly was inside, you grabbed the square from his hands as long as he had a loose old on it. He gasped, feeling betrayed.

“Traitor! Why won’t you let me have it!” He pouted once again, making you smile at his silly behavior. “Just a peek! Please, Y/N!” Shaking your head, you put the box in its place on the tree branch again. 

“Joonie you have to promise that you won’t look at it before christmas. I really want it to be a surprise.” You scolded. Breathing out a heavy exhale, he nodded. 

“Alright, babe. If it’s that precious to you, I guess I’ll hold out.” Smiling, you grab his cheeks and give him a big smooch when he got the note to bow down. “Let’s finish up this tree, yeah?” He patted your head and turned to the christmas balls.

Everyone was sat comfortably in the living room, candles and christmas lights were on, the tv displayed a fireplace and christmas music was playing softly in the background.

All of the members were scattered around the room, some of them lounging on the couches and some on the floor, girlfriends next to a few of them. You were cuddling yourself into Namjoons chest on one of the soft couches.

Jungkook as the youngest one started with sharing his gifts to everyone, busy rustling from the wrapping papers. 

Each after the other started giving out presents and when it was your turn, you excitedly bounced on your feet as you looked at all the happy faces unpacking their goods. 

You kept Namjoons present for last, wanting to completely watch his expressions when he finally got to see what you got for him. 

Sitting next to him, you grinned when he opened the blue box. 

But your happy smile fell off your face as soon as you saw the bracelet. When it fell from the tree it not only was moved around in the box messily, it was also destroyed. 

Without being able to hold yourself back you let tears roll down your cheeks. Sniffing, you accused Namjoon, “You broke it! You broke the present and now I need to get something new!” 

You were about to throw a fit, Namjoon watching you with big eyes as he tried to see why you were so upset. 

“Baby, calm down.. look,” he took your face in his hands, putting the box next to him on the couch. “It’s not broken..”

You let him wipe away the few tears that fell and looked at him confused. “What do you mean, of course it is. Look at it.” You took the bracelet out of the box and showed it to him. When he laughed at you, you furrowed your brows. 

“Baby, it’s just the clip to close it. It wasn’t closed in the box.” Showing you the small clasp and smiling big when your face lit up. 

“Oh! I’m glad…” everyone suddenly laughed at your confusion and you remembered that you just almost threw a fit in front of all of your friends. Blush creeping on your face, you used the opportunity to stand up. “I’ll get something real quick, wait here” you advised Namjoon. 

Rushing to your shared bedroom, you searched your drawer and pink box, matching Namjoons own. 

Walking back you showed it off proudly and shoved it into your boyfriend’s face. “Look! Now we always have something to think of each other…” shyly you lifted it out of your own box and asked Namjoon to close it around your wrist. 

You held your arm next to his and awed at the matching jewelry. Clapping your hands happily, you reached in to kiss Namjoon and slung your arms around his neck. 

He was clearly happy with his gift and couldn’t take his eyes off of it for the rest of the evening. Every chance he got, Namjoon held your hand and traced over the bracelet with his thumb. 

He wore his biggest dimpled smile even while brushing his teeth and that night, as you crawled into your bed and cuddled yourself into the sheets and his arms, he kissed the top of your head and whispered softly, “this was the best Christmas ever, thank you so much, baby.”

[gunnerchitickle]

Dream Daddy - Netflix n’ Chill (Fanfic)

By: Gunner Chi

(Dadsona x Craig) - Word Count: 1,368 words

It was a Saturday in the late summer. Amanda was off in a college course, Craig’s kids where at his wife’s for the weekend, and we did what any grown men would; we were playing soccer in my back yard.

Craig bought us a goal for my birthday a few months back. I’d told him how much I missed playing soccer with our college friends. I also hated how lazy I’d become over the years.

Though with Craig around, I got that itch to start getting back in shape.

As we played, I keep watching Craig do his thing. The running. The dribbling. The fact that he was in a great tank top, navel blue short shorts, and was barefoot. The perfect foil to me losing the game.

And I did as he got in one last shot!

“Bro, come on!” Craig said as he brushed sweat off his face. His adorable smile came out. “You gotta keep your eye on the ball.”

I filled the gap between us. I was a bit shorter than Craig, dressed in a white top that gripped a little tight on my newly built arms. My shorts are red and I’m also barefoot.

Back in our college days, the buddies we’ed play soccer with would either be no shirt and shoes or with shirt and barefoot. We’d always be on the barefoot team since we weren’t afraid of showing out feet; we even got mani-pedi’s all the time, despite both of us having ticklish feet.

“I know....but your sweaty.....and your better at it.......and I can even see your nipples.” I saw, a little out of air from all the running around. That and the fact it was really hot in Maple Bay that day. “Wow, your nipples are pointed out.”

Craig and I both laughed at the same time. He’d always had nipples with a mind of their own. Pointing out, looking like he was turned on. But man did I find that sexy. Mine weren’t the pointy kind.

“Ah, have a mind if their own, Bro!” Craig said as he followed me to my back porch. “You look tired.”

“I am!” I tell him as I sit down on the swing hanging from the house awning. Then I down the cup of water I have on the table next to it.

“Single Downer Dad at it again!” Craig fake cheered as I downed the whole thing. I got that name from downing beer in college however, being the best at it.

“Yeah, Handstand Craig, I know.” I tell humans lean into his sweaty, toned arm.

He had a slight beige color in his skin compared to my red undertones on my lighter tan skin. But Craig has the handsome face. His dark brown iris covered by his monolided eyes, his slightly protruding nose, those soft lips that stretch into a gracious smile.

“Mmmm, you smell good.” Craig said as he leaned his own head into mine, sniffing and toying with my dirty blonde hair.

The first time Craig and I met was when my parents helped me unpack my luggage. Craig was laying on his bed, his room filled with sports posters and a couple of anime statues. He was a bit cubby back then and wore bigger clothing to hide it. He was even in socks, which he barely wears nowadays.

He got up off his bed and flashed me that smile. “Hey, Bro-I mean, Dadsona. I’m Craig.”

I swooned that day as I shook his hand and ever since, I couldn’t stop that pit-a-patter in my heart. Though of course I married my late husband, who is always going to be my first love fully, but Craig has always had a place there too.

“Oh, hi!” I had told him that day, trying not to blush at his smile.

“Is that your natural hair color?” Craig asked.

“Yeah, it is? Why?” I had asked him, confused at what he was getting at.

“I’ve never seen a guy with blonde hair and dark eyes.” Craig told me.

For the rest of that day, he told me most blonde people had blue or green eyes, nothing darker. He told me he loved them. He’d always though dark eyed blonde people were gorgeous. Though despite that, he married a woman with dark hair and eyes that was Asian like him; his parents were old fashioned and wanted him to marry “his own kind”. And I knew how much he hated that, even though he loved his ex wife, Ashley.

“Why are you always smelling my hair?” I ask Craig.

“It has a nice natural smell to it. Just like how you say my sweat smell pretty good.” Craig told me, ruffling my hair, making me groan.

“Don’t do that. I hate that.” I groaned more as I shooed his hand away.

Growing quiet, we revel in the warmth and the slight breeze coming in from the air. We both just sit there for a while, until it gets closer to lunch time.

We both have a basic sandwich for lunch and talk about our college days and our kids; we can’t believe how fast time seems to fly by as you get older.

After we eat, we relocate to the living room and turn on the tv, though he aren’t watching it, since we’re kissing each other.

I lay on my back as Craig hovers over new, stroking my sides as we let our tounge a explore the others. But then I feel Craig scratch my my sides.

“Hehe, Craig stop!” I chuckle, trying to grab his thin fingers.

“I wanna hear you laugh though!” Craig spoke in a teasing manner and started ticklish my sides harder.

“Nahahahahahahahahahahahat thahahahahahat! Sthahahahahahahahaop it!” I squealed out in a boyish laugh.

Craig had first found out I was ticklish after a truth or dare session at a frat house. Ever since then he’s tried so much to tickle me and make me laugh.

Thankfully though, Craig is a ticklish guy too.

To counter him as I laugh my guts out, I squeeze at his waist, one of his weak spots.

“Hehehehehey! Nahahahahahahaha!” Craig laughed as he jerked back a little.

“Yeheheheheheah!” I laughed out as it squrimed at Craig’s tickling and kept getting his waist.

As we kept tickling each other, we had twist and turn so much that we both fell onto the floor with a thud. But I took my chance and went for Craig’s worse spot; his feet

I sat on his legs and reached down for his soft skin feet. He wore a size 9, having smaller feet than me and had a slightly flatter arch. But his thin toes were the cutest thing and he had his toenails well manicured. And my fingers danced all over the soles.

“Noahahahahahahbahahahaht thahahahahahahahahahahat! Sthahahahahahahahahahahahop!” Craig squealed in a higher pitch, his deeper tone sounding more feminine.

“You started it!” I teased and kept going, going after his arches, making him buck under my weight.

“Dadsona, Sthahahahahahahahahahop! Pleahhahahahahase!” Craig screeched our, not even trying to fight back; he was so cute like this.

“Tell me you love me!” I said and kept going, going to the toes.

“Noahahahahahaahahat the tohohohohohohohohohoes!” Craig let our in his laughter. “I love you!”

“Now tell me you’ll do the dishes!” I added onto this list.

“I wiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllll! Just Sthahahahahahahahaop it!” Craig cried, his face getting a little red as I looked back.

“And promise me you’ll never leave me!” I say, wondering what he’d say.

And just as I hoped he laughed what I thought he could. “Nehehehehehehevvvvveeeeerrrrr! Sthahahahahahahahahahahahaop!”

Moving my hands away, I stopped and turned around, laying by Craig as he panted. He moved over and enveloped me into his arms, kissing my nose. “I’ll never....leave you.”

He both kiss as he finish panting, laying there in each other’s arms.

“Oh, and one more thing!” Craig said as he sat up.

I thought he might take me to our room and we’re have sex. But he stopped at my size 11 feet and head locked them. “Your turn!”

And I busted out laughing more like a girl, Craig getting his revenge on my poor, ticklish feet.

[heykillmongerluhme]

Meet Me In The Breakroom

Erik Stevens x OC Reader

I N S P O: I had a daydream about this the other day, plus I’m being a Filthy McNasty now; Need to get my creative sauce back up

N O T E: Read while alone hehe or be a filthy McNasty like me and react all loud; Could listen to I Wanna Sex You Up x Color Me Badd

W A R N: Smut

T R I G G E R: None

W O R D: 3.9k

“Let’s get down to brass tax here” Mr. Whittington, CEO, said abruptly through your presentation “What is it going to cost me?”

The room, including yourself, fell into laughter as you clicked through the next three slides heading towards the graph indicating cost. This was the presentation that you had been preparing for. The company was going down for being too old fashioned and targeting the older demographic and they needed a fresh new perspective. Mr. Whittington himself called you to be lead on the project, promising you a spot for VP of Communications. You were beyond excited because since you stepped foot into that office, it has been your goal to eventually lead a department for the firm.

“Roughly, we estimate the cost to be around $532,000 but profit would be projected to” you dragged out as you clicked out to the next slide “$1.7 million”. Low audibles of gasps surrounded the room and smiles from your team shone to you.

“And how do you suppose we are to receive those funds?” he interjected the elevating atmosphere. Erik Stevens. It just seemed like he had a vendetta against you, every idea you had, even if it was great. He just always had something to say. Something to ask, just something to nitpick at. Maybe because you were the only other younger, black executive on the team. He was the “star” before you came along and he really didn’t care for it.

“Well, Mr. Stevens” you kept a tight smile but your eyes were burning him “We still have leftover funds from our charity raised last month, I have compiled 5 different investors, even those relationships that were lost” the shade that was thrown from you to him. No one really likes to bring up the 2017 investors meeting, that was not one of Erik’s best moments.

Eyes roamed between you and him trying to see who was going to fight back first. The office knew that you two were in competition with one another and that tensions were high. His jaw clicked before you watched his thick tongue cover the plump bottom lip before it tucked in anger.

“Any other questions?” You called out to the room and no responses availed to you.

“Great job, Y/N!” Mr. Whittington clapped before standing to his feet. The room followed suit as you stood proudly. Shoulders back, chest forward, and head held high. A reluctant Erik stood up last as you looked at others directly. A smile on your face and grimace on his.

x x x

“I can’t believe that Mr. W is going to name you VP!” your coworker gleamed as you guys brought in the remaining materials.

“We have to wait and see” you calmly reminded her “It is between Erik and me, and he has a longer track record than me”

“So! He’s been here for how long and only has been promoted once. Besides ever since the fuck up in 2017, Mr. W is making sure that he is monitored. Who knows, he might be in your department” the brunette bounced before placing down the rest of your materials.

“Thank you” you mentioned breathlessly before pushing your curls out of your face “Who knows, but I am completely starving and I am about to head to lunch. Do you want anything?”

Shaking her head ‘No’, she opened the screen on her phone before stepping out of your office. You took a well needed to exhale before preparing for the next half of your day. Meeting after meeting after meeting. You already knew that caffeine was in your calling, so before you decided to leave campus for lunch. You needed your third installment of coffee.

x x x

With the company being as prominent as it is, it created a break floor for all their employees. It was implemented that current year but not a lot of individuals wanted to use it. Due to the comfort of their own break rooms or they simply did not know about it.

However, it had become a sanctuary for you. Some days you had the whole floor to yourself, like today. It just seemed like the universe was working in your favor all day. First, you killed your presentation that you finished to the brim of the minute before the meeting. Next, Mr. W is making more hints for your promotion. Then, You had this break room floor to yourself to unwind from the first half of the day. And lastly, you finally had your chance to embarrass Erik. Today was beginning to look like the best day ever. It was shortly interrupted when you heard the blaring of a rap song come around the corner and the clicks of loafers followed suit. Annoyance grew in your body because you just wanted to be quiet. You still had your back turn as you pressed the brewer to begin the making of French Vanilla coffee. The scent, you knew anywhere. His Calvin Klein cologne invaded your nose before you could even turn around.

Erik looked up from the tweet that he was going to send before seeing you stand at the machine. His chocolate orbs danced across your heels, leading up to your curvy calves that connected to your holdable hips. He may not have liked you as a coworker but he couldn’t help that he was a man. He definitely found you attractive. As you did him. However, y’all pride and the race to be successful in the company got in the way of seeing each other as you really wanted to.

“So, you kissed the bosses’ ass today?” his banter began as he stood beside you, shoulder to shoulder. Your eyes focused on the machine, not really paying attention to anything that was going on. You just didn’t want to look at that handsome face. That really bothered you, that you found the one person that you could not stand in the entire office to be the one that you would throw your juices too.

He sucked his teeth when he did not get a reaction and began to prepare himself a cup of coffee as well. Knowing one way to get you to react, he smirked to himself before stating “Those pretty ass lips must be good for something then”

Your head snapped in his direction as he tried his best to keep his excitement to himself. He was always so vulgar and you hated that you loved it. Trying to keep your professionalism, your eyes lowered “Keep those nasty ass comments to yourself, clown”

His head had thrown back as he laughed. It was like you were trying to hide the fact that you were affected by what he said. He turned his body towards you, keeping his eyes to scan over the top half of your body now. The beautiful mane of afro-curls down to your illuminating face, it connected to a gorgeous neck that exposed your robust chest. He couldn’t help himself but his eyes stayed stagnant.

“My face is up here” you reminded him sharply while you examined his lustful look. The curves of his face that lead to the plumpness of his lips drove your imagination wild. You tried so hard to not dig deeper into your fantasy but it has been a bit of a minute before you felt a penetrating warmth between your legs. So anything was liable to turn you on, even your sworn enemy. Your eyes decorated along with the blue striped colored button-down he wore that day. You could see that he was active in the gym, due to the strength his upper body displayed.

Catching you doing the same dance he was doing “My face is up here” he mocked you. Snapping back to reality, an eye roll followed suit before hearing the beep of the machine go off indicating that your coffee was ready. Erik needed the coffee and you needed the additives, which were on the opposite side. You realized that you guys had to actually cross paths. “Excuse me” you stated before making your way sidestepping to the condiments table. Erik obliged but being a man, and who he was, he stepped back with just a bit of small space allowing you to step in front of him. He was not slick as he wanted to be, in reality, he wasn’t even trying to be slick at this point. You walked in front of him but not before he pressed his lower half against you, taking his hand to the small of your back guiding you to move. Electricity ran up your spine as breathy shudder fell from your lips. You tried to contain it but he heard you.

Erik turned his head to you before scanning you once more and it didn’t help that your pencil skirt showed off your shape. “Why you be so bitter all the time?” he asked breaking the growing tension between you.

“Excuse me?!” you asked while concentrating on your coffee, getting it to the way you like. You blew along with the hot contents before taking a sip of the sweet, warm liquid. “I am not bitter, I just don’t like when men have hissy fits because a woman is in power and have just as much, or maybe even more, hold as them”

“Nah, that ain’t it” he dismissed, pressing the button for a brew while he looked at you. His eyes now dark, his voice in baritone, and heat of his body closing in on yours. “I think it’s because” he started as he stepped forward and without thought, you stepped back, literally backed into a corner “You ain’t got nobody hitting it right”

How could you be so disgusted but turned on at the same time? Only you would know but it seemed like Erik knew it too. His frame towered yours, though you had on heels, you were still relatively under him. Your throat dry, you cleared before placing your coffee down “I-I do have someone ‘hitting’ it thank you” you lied. Hoping that would have him back off but it only engaged him more. Dammit.

“You ain’t hear me? I said hitting it right. Don’t give a fuck if someone is hitting it or not if they ain’ t doing it right? They ain’t doing it at all” Erik informed you. You wanted to melt right in front of him. Breath staggered, the background noise of coffee pouring surrounded you two before the unthinkable happens.

His powerful lips covered yours, a yelp leaped from you between your lips. Your hands raised to slap him before it lowered slowly once the connected kiss between you two began to reign supreme. You have been thinking about this moment for quite a while, frankly. So did Erik. Once he knew that you were not resisting, his kisses became hungrier as he tried to fill your mouth. Erik’s large hands ran down your waist, taking a nice hold of them before he mounted you up against the wall. Taking your left leg to rest on his hip, he grinded into you. The friction of his dress pants against you caused you to squirm. This would happen on the day that you decided not to wear panties.

“Oh? You a freak, too?” Erik smiled playfully on your lips before taking an intense grip on your thigh. Now there was no need for modesty, you smirked back into his lips before kissing him back.

“There is a lot that you don’t know about me, Mr. Stevens” a subtle moan left you feeling him grind against you again. He groaned back into your mouth as his unoccupied hand, drew his fingertip up your inner thighs to you waiting center.

“You keep calling me Mr. Stevens, you going to be in a world of trouble” he warned before biting your bottom lip popping it back.

“Mr. Stevens” you enticed seductively.

He warned you, but you didn’t listen. Erik’s callused fingers drew along your throbbing clit before drawing it down your lips to your hole. One finger, he dipped into the pot as he felt your wetness beginning to build. He smiled knowing that you were just as much into it as he was. Two fingers, now drawn into you as he began to slowly pump it back it and forth. Your eyes fluttered with mouth agape feeling the fingers enter you without warning. Erik has been wanting this since the moment he had laid eyes on you. He knew that you were strong, independent, level-headed but he wanted to see you vulnerable, submissive, illogical. He knew he couldn’t do it that way my work, so why not through pleasure. However, with that being his first agenda, it changed once he actually saw the look on your face. How you rhythmically moved with him, how your face contorted to pleasure as he continues to play with your ridge walls.

“Oh..” you moaned out taking your gel tipped nails along his shoulder.

By the moment, he had you completely in his care and you did not want to combat him. Erik’s coated fingers drew up your lips in a ‘V’ fashion before keeping his eyes on yours, taking them in his mouth. He was a freak just like you, however, you did not want to reveal all your dirty little kinks. Even if it was in the office break room. Once again, his fingers found his way back to the place that they had become familiar with. Now completely covered in his saliva, the battle on your clit had become one that you were not prepared for. His fingers drew quick circles on your hardening clit, as you felt your walls pulsate as if you contracting on the imaginary dick inside of you. An echoed yelp left you before he plunged his fingers into your honey pot again, realizing where you were, you tucked in your lip resting your head back along the wall, completely falling victim to Erik’s fingers.

His grip on your thigh became tighter, as your walls became the same. It was if he was matching your journey to orgasm.

“Haa..” you moaned as you reached your peak, hearing the slapping of your wetness between his fingers and your coated opening. “Mmm,” he followed before kissing you loosening his grip on your thigh. 

You grinded along with his fingers, not feeling satisfied with the orgasm and Erik’s rod immediately jumped in his dress pants. You kept your eyes on him, wrapping your hands around his neck locking your fingers. You continue to ride on his fingers, showing him that you can still be dominate, even if he was trying to please you. You knew his angle and feeling bad about embarrassing him in the meeting, you allowed him to take control. This time. Moving your hips up and down his fingers, Erik’s bottom lip hangs down as you guys’ eyes locked in time. Panting on your end and lust on his, you croaked out another moan while still keeping your eyes locked on him and Erik smirked at how you took yourself there.

“Damn, Y/N” he congratulated you.

He wanted you now and you needed him. He dropped you down, making sure that you landed on your heels correctly. A gentleman of sorts. However, within a flash, Erik knew that it was his turn to take control and he did just that. Turning you around, his grip that was on your thigh made its way to the bottom of your skirt hiking it all the way to your waist, exposing your brown, round, ass. His eyes were mesmerized and his mind was filled with the various positions he wanted to twist you in. However, the lunch break was only for an hour. Hearing the clacking of the belt buckle, turned you on as you looked over your shoulder peeking to see what he was working with.

Erik’s dark laugh surrounded you as he started to bring his pants along with his briefs down “You tryna get a peek huh?” Being as nasty as you wanted to be, you nodded a pleasing ‘Yes’ before your eyes dropped down to his package. Your mouth watered as you saw his length spring into action. “Fuck..” you whispered to herself in awe, your pussy began to form more wetness waiting for him to enter.

“You a big girl, huh Y/N?’ Erik asked sweetly as he drew your curls over your shoulder, taking the base of his head, teasing it up to your lips to your clit. A few taps before sliding it up and down teasing again.

“Hmm..” you moaned to the touch of his warm shaft going up and down. Your right leg stood but trembled as you waited for him to enter.

“I need you to speak, baby. I asked if you were a big girl?” Erik’s now quivering head waiting to enter you. He was dying from the teasing just as much as you were, but both of you not wanting to give up first. The whole dynamic of y’all relationship.

“Yes, Mr. Stevens. I’mma big girl” you moaned out feeling his head touched your hole. With that statement finished, he guided his stiff inside of you causing your head to hang low and his drawback.

“Fuck..” he groaned to your tightness, it was one thing with his fingers but feeling you around himself, he had to think of the scenery you guys were in to not bust quickly. He was a ladies man and he was very much into the ladies. He knew good pussy when he felt it. And baby, you were the platinum record to all the other records he kept.

It was if you both were confused about how good it felt that he just stood inside of you catching his breath, then he began his rhythm. Erik being the freak that he was, watched as his member pumped in and out of you. The glistening of your juice caused him to watch in awe, letting him continue to thrust inside of you. Your hand palmed on the wall and gripped along the counter as he began to rough his strokes. Rolling of moans covered your lips while Erik concentrated on his movements. The clapping of your ass crowded the entire floor and the symphony of your moans and his groans mixed followed up.

“Oh..fuck..Erik!” you whined aiding in the movements that Erik was destroying you with.

You kept your back arched and began throwing it back on him. Something that other women didn’t do, that Erik loved. They would always want him to do all the work.

He stood back and watched you go to work. He curved his hips to get your spot and by the scream of his name, he did just that. He kept his length right at your spot as you stopped throwing it back due to him grazing over it.

Eyebrows furrowed, he took his hand and a ‘SLAM’ covered your ass causing your freaky ass to whine out. “I ain’t say stop! You a big girl” he gritted throwing his hips directly back at your spot “You gon’ take this big dick, c’mon” ‘CLAP’ on your ass again.

The stinging turned you on as you continued to throw your hips back, your goal was to grab every inch of Erik inside of you. You reached that goal with the sliding of your walls falling down and the growing orgasm building up inside you. One you don’t think that you can handle or ever had experience before. Moaning again, you stopped feeling weak of how much of his dick is causing you to crash. Smirking that he has you now totally under his control, he slammed inside you once again. Dropping his callused hand to your hips, he gripped tightly and threw you back on him as he pumped in you. Different shapes filled your eyes, what felt like helium clouded your brain, and pressure that felt like a pipe bursting filled your body.

“Oh-Oh my G–” you almost belted out before he took your throat beneath his hand. He was growing close to, based on how quick his strokes were growing. The first orgasm ran through your body as you felt the literal cream leaving you onto Erik’s dick and down your lips, to your hard quivering clit.

“Mmmhm..that’s it” he coached “I know you got another one, Y/N” he groaned keeping his grip on your throat, tight but lustful. It was true, another one was building and now your body was completely under the control of Erik as you came again. Both of your movements became faster as you began to not give a fuck if someone heard y’all or shit, even if they saw you. You wouldn’t care until both of y’all nuts were finished. Groaning as he grew to close, he pulled out his throb and spilled himself on both of your cheeks.

“Fuckk..” Erik moaned as he squeezed out what seemed like a pint of cum onto your ass. Adrenaline coming down, both your panting bodies and itches scratched. You remember where you were and who you were with. Feeling a mixture of hate but lust, covered you as you turned around seeing a spent Erik. An ended kiss shared between the both of you before you snapped back to reality pushing him back, causing him to almost trip over his pants wrapped around his ankles.

“This never happened” you warned, grabbing the hard brown napkins cleaning off your cheeks before pulling down your skirt.

Erik’s licked lips shown before a smile “You got my word”

x x x

It has been two weeks since you and Erik’s escapade. Since that afternoon, you never stopped flashing back to the moment. You never came like that before. You never had public sex. It was like all of your first was being pushed by him. Since then, he has not talked to you. Not even an insult was thrown your way. You knew that you told him that “it never happened” but you went to the break room every day. You would wait for your whole break, just to see if he would show up to ignore you. But each day, you were left alone. Guess it was just a fling.

“And here, this is where our Communications department is and the VP office will be there” you heard Erik’s voice crowd the hall before approaching your office. It was normal for him to be the tour guide of the company to different partners and investors, hearing him approaching with the traditional speech you fixed your appearance just to look good to see if he would see you. Every day, you tried to go out of your way to look good but to no avail, he did not even look your way. It didn’t help that you guys' office was across from one another.

Perking up, he looked in the office and then looked forward as he began the other part of the tour “And over here is where..”

For real? You just huffed at defeat once more as you sat back going back to the project at hand. Moments had passed and it was closing into lunch. You sat back in your swivel chair and was disrupted with a chime from your phone, your heart began racing once you saw the message.

Erik: You think I ain’t noticing.. I’m tryna keep cool but today, fuck that. 5 mins. Meet me in the breakroom..

And guess what you were doing for your lunch break? Meeting him in the break room.

x x x

I hope y’all like it! I haven’t written smut in awhiiiiiile, just been trying to get back on the wagon. It will get better. Just a short for y’all McNasties :)

[johobi]

WYLEI 11 - submission

The following was a submission (rather than a series of asks) discussing the latest chapter, sent in by one of my lovely regulars, lie anon. As it’s quite long I’ll place it under a read more; if it doesn’t display, I’m really sorry!

Wow, Jo. There’s so much I want to say to you. First of all, thank you so much for writing WYLEI. It was 18K of goodness; a ride so wild that I don’t wanna ever come down. This chapter is filled with pain, misery, heartbreak, relief, love and lust - a diabolical cocktail (hehe) that you feed to us and we partake so gleefully. The wait for this chapter is so worth it, and thank you so much for working so hard on it. You’re such a gem! I’m sending you a submission so I don’t clog your inbox ><“ I’m sorry I’ve so much thoughts I want to share ><”

You’re so welcome!! I’m serious! You’ve been so patient and encouraging the whole way. And don’t ever apologise for ‘clogging’ my inbox, I’m always so happy to hear from you :)

I want to gush about many parts of the chapter, namely the smut and heartbreak and confession. Wait, that’s the whole story wtf gdi lie anon is whipped as fuck!!! Ok I’m gonna talk about the sad parts first. Good lord Y/N had to force herself to look away from Kook because those eyes are a mirage now, and it will transport her to places of pain and misery that she shouldn’t find, that doesn’t belong in the first place ugh can you hear the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces… The promise of happier and blissful days ahead are now shattered by Kook’s deadly secret :( it fucking stinks because I was rooting for Kook and Y/N right from the start. “Like an inmate fleeing from some plush penitentiary of pain” what the fuck. Y/N doesn’t deserve this bullshit. All she did was love Kook and he broke her. Fuck JK, really. I’m so mad at him right now. He better have a fucking good explanation for what’s going down as The Biggest Fuckup in The History of Mankind, istg. Or I’ll personally strangle this stupid boy with my bare hands ugh ajksfhjsl fuck!!!

fhfhfh yes, looking into the eyes of someone you thought you knew (and loved) after such a horrific revelation must be so difficult. Like, that person kissed and said sweet nothings to you behind a mask of some sort, so it must feel like looking into a stranger’s face afterwards. That’s definitely how Y/N was feeling. dfjkdjkj he really better have the most redeemable of reasons for lying to her. Will you guys think it’s good enough tho?!

I was expecting him to run after Y/N, because that just felt so much like what he’d do but he didn’t. Was it because his fiancee was there? Y/N couldn’t bring herself to hate the woman ugh my child is so pure and I’m hurting all over again :( “I’m not going to chase you” and “I won’t give up” um, what in the fresh hell, really. Why is he so lax in his pursuit now? :(

He said he wouldn’t chase her just so that she wouldn’t trip and fall to her death down the stairs (so he does at least possess some humanity lmao). And he must have said that he wouldn’t give up, because, well… he turned up at her apartment later. And rang her in between. As I try not to offer too many insights into their minds, I will say it from a place of speculation: perhaps he understood that she needed to get away from him at that moment. She absolutely wouldn’t stop running. So he resorted to calling her, and then turning up at her apartment. I don’t think he wanted to run her into the ground (she was very clearly exhausted).

And Jo, the way you documented Y/N’s journey from the eighteenth floor to the ground floor was so intricate! Her thought processes, her inner monologue, her sense of self-worth diminishing… it really did a number to me because I actually felt pain as I read it. It feels as though Y/N’s blaming herself for this treachery, you know? :( that she felt she had bursted someone’s bubble when JK was the one who ruined everything with his own hands :( god, I’m in so much awe of what you can do with mere words. I’m unbelievably in love with the way you write. And the last sentence? A fucking cliffhanger. A fucking heartbreak to come once more. Why don’t you take my heart and run it over with a bulldozer since it’s broken already lmao.

;;;;;; i’m so glad you liked that!!!! I wanted it to be intense and breathless. Constantly repeating how tired/how much it burned to run, to emphasise it in your own mind. ‘Til you start feeling it yourself!! 

Yeah, Y/N has a tendency to blame herself for everything. She thinks she can’t keep Jungkook interested, must have only been an escape from his life on the upper crust, etc… he was helping to build up her confidence, but then he tore it all down again. I feel like she should take a leaf from actual BTS’ book and Love Herself first. :( People often can’t do what’s best for them, though, for various reasons.

Next, the confession. God, I loved it with every fibre of my ridiculous being. The rawness of it all. How it came gushing through her lips and to be met with equal fervour by Tae. The exchange was mesmerising - timid and shy yet bold and dauntless altogether. I appreciate the fact that Tae had to take some time to digest the information and that he responded in the way that he did. It did felt right, after all that shit he put Y/N through the years.

I got SO into writing that scene. I wanted it paced and worded perfectly, because that was the ‘big’ moment. The fic had been building up to it for 10 chapters. From all the feedback I’ve received, I feel like I was able to do it the justice it deserved, and I couldn’t be happier about it. ;;;; thank you so much. The tumult of emotion you mention is precisely how I wanted it to play out. It took some bold leaps into the unknown and neither know what’s on the other side, but they did it anyway.

The part where Tae found her in the old haunt was so heartwarming. The piggyback ride, that little trip down memory lane… it felt nice knowing that some things just don’t change with time. Tae’s conviction in getting even for Y/N’s sake had me melting into a puddle of goo and feels. He’s so protective over her ahhh omg where can I find me someone like WYLEI’s Tae!!!

THIS IS MY FAV BIT!!!! I imagined this from day one. T__T And it was so nice to put it down into words, finally. AND YASS PROTECTIVE TAE!! I’ll be honest I’m not one for hot-headed males IRL but in the realm of fic (and as long as they’re not psychotic), I enjoy a guy with a vengeful spirit. And you mention exactly why. The protectiveness. T___T ahhajwkh. 

Tae’s initial reluctance in not wanting to fuck Y/N in this state really had my heart soft and in a pulpy mess. He knew it wasn’t right because this one fuck might make things messy again. He didn’t want to fuck things up any further with Y/N because he loves her too much to put her through another shit show. It’s a small part nonetheless, but showed how much Tae loved Y/N even though it means going against her wishes at that point in time.

Yes!!!! That was hugely important to include!!! I feel, without it, I’d be getting far different responses to this scene. It was essential to demonstrate that Tae had learnt his lesson and really valued their friendship above all. That he doesn’t just think of her as a woman in an attractive body. 

I feel like this chapter mirrors chapter 9, for some reason? Perhaps it had to do with the culmination of buried feelings and emotions, primarily desire and longing. Passion that laid dormant and stifled for fear of ruining the present equilibrium, are now brought to life with a confession. That, I find, makes the scenes all the more emotionally charged and engaging. And all the smut with Tae… NOW TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING PANTIES EVERYONE, IT’S TIME TO SCREAM!!!

You’re 100% right. The latter half, at least, is very much like 9. Y/N feeling desolate on the heels of the other guy, the lead-up banter, the actual act; it’s all very intimate; revolves around her and the respective guy in each chapter. And with a cliffhanger suggesting that you can’t just disappear into the arms of another and not pay the price.

“I want you to watch me undress.” > WHAT. THE. FUCK. Y/N is the epitome of Big Dick Energy, y’all!!! Fucking hell. The way she commanded Tae to watch her… WOW. I’m blown away with that power. That seductress side of her from before came out to play and I was unbelievably thrilled!!!

Hahaha, I guess, because I was writing her, I felt like her usual feistiness wasn’t behind that line. She was desperate to see some form of evidence that she was still desirable as a human being, so she put on a facade that normally comes very naturally to her. In this case it was pretty forced, and Tae saw through it quite quickly. Thank God, because I felt so awkward writing that bit. It really didn’t feel right to me.

“Fuck, all the times I’ve imagined you like this” > um, hello??? This is so fucking hot I’m sweating my fat ass off!!! Like Tae fina-fucking-lly gets to bone the living daylights out of Y/N and I can literally hear the utter desperation, the excitement, want and need in his deep, baritone voice as he says that? I’m not ok what the fuck is going on???

LOL you crack me up aklwjdawklj!! YES I had to cram in all his tasty one-liners about how much he’s thought about fucking her and in a myriad of ways bc gdi it’s hot and Tae is one horny man. With absolutely no reserve. IT’S SO HOT *fans self* 

“You have me” > um what the fuck, Jo? I legit died at this line??? I can only imagine the assertion and conviction in Tae’s voice when he said that??? He declared it once more to Y/N and I couldn’t breathe because /f e e l s/. Error 404: lieanon.exe not found (was dead in a ditch and now sending this from afterlife p.s. hell isn’t half as hot as the smut you write huehuehue).

aaaND THIS IS MY FAV OF HIS LINES DURING THE SEX STUFF!!! It’s just, like, it must be utter relief and happiness and desire flooding her hearing him say that. It’s all she’s ever wanted to hear from him. Instant crEAM. 

“Heaven was his practised teeth and tongue, pinching and suckling your collarbones to an inhuman shade. Like an overzealous pet he branded you with feral desire, mounting marks into stretches of unclaimed skin. ” > I got too much of a fucking kick while reading this because hickeys are fucking sexy and territorial so Y/N, WEAR THEM LIKE BADGES OF HONOUR. Ok seriously though where can I sign up for WYLEI’s Tae?!?!?!

ABSOLUTELY. HICKEYS FOR LIFE. I wanted to show how contrasting Jungkook and Tae’s approaches are in the bedroom, and Tae is far more aggressive (due to his confidence and experience). Plus he just freakin’ loves hickeys I guess. And as Y/N said, he’s aware ‘people’ will see them (Tae fights dirty lmao).

And that part when Tae fucked Y/N from the back AND pulling her while doing so? Mother of god that was SO. FUCKING. HOT. The mental imagery will never be lost on me, and it’s seared to the back of mind waiting to be revisited during /desperate/ times ahahaha FUCK. The tension and passion in that scene was palpable, and that taunting was sure as heck the cherry on top. Tae fucked Y/N through her squirting lmao let’s all hover over our damned bucket respectively because our panties are probably beyond soaked from that part istg my loins hurt and I need an ice pack gOD DAMMIT JO.

LMADOWNb i’m literally grinning from ear to ear reading this you are a tREASURE of the highest value. I’m glad you enjoyed that ;)))) my guidelines for going into this sex scene was: 1) it has to be passionate, 2) it has to be rough, 3) they both have to come quick the first time bc when you’re just THAT wound up about someone it’s hard to last long when you’re so impassioned and greedy. Plus I find something really hot about a fast ejaculation LMAO *sweats*. 

But you know what I find is the fucking sexiest part in the whole chapter? When Tae took Y/N’s hand and sucked her fucking fingers clean of her own juices wHAT THE FLYING FUCK JO WHAT THE ACTUAL /F U C K/ DID HE FUCKING LOOKED HER IN THE EYES AS HE DID SO?!?!?! I’M ASKING FOR A FRIEND ASHDFJKL I WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS PART.

you liked that the most!!!? Glad I included that then, that was just a spur of the moment thing I included while expanding the smut. He was v e r y hungry for her. ;)

AHHH I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS CHAPTER THE PAIN THE RAWNESS THE SMUT ASDAFFDSGL *incoherent yelling* uhm except i felt a little uncomfortable with the use of “oppa” it’s an overused trope “noona” is all good though i’m sorry please don’t hate me i love you :(

I had a couple of people ask about the oppa thing and honestly I had no idea that it had been sullied so much by kboos. After getting some feedback, including yours, I decided to change it to a much clearer ‘daddy’, after some thought on the matter. It’s probably the case that Koreans wouldn’t think to use their titles in such a way (correct me, anyone, if I’m wrong), as I was applying it with the vibe of ‘daddy’, and it’s probably not correct. So, just to be safe, I changed it. BTW I LOVE OVERUSED TROPES LIE ANON THIS WHOLE FIC IS BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS THE QUEEN OF TROPES!! NO-ONE CAN STOP MY TROPE-LOVIN’ ASS!!! Can I interest you in some enemies to lovers eventually…?! (the king of tropes)

……so yes, *deep breaths* I think I’m done screeching about chapter 11 and now it’s time to revisit everything once again. Or maybe 9034857494 more times. I’m positive I’ll find something new to scream about ahahaha yikes I’m really whipped lmao. I’m so invested in your fic that I’m actually terrified of the day when it comes to an eventual end sigh pie :( you write so very well, m’dear. WYLEI has made me cry, made me smile and made me high. You’re a talented storyteller, bubz, and I can’t convey enough gratitude to you for bringing us this amazing fic, Jo. I love you so very much!!! You’ve done extremely well, truly and definitely. Always delivering the best to us readers. Sending you plenty of love and good vibes always, m’love!!! Thank you once again! (and sorry for this long ass submission i’m the literal worst) xx lie anon ♥️🌻

Lie anon, you’ve written a veritable novel of yourself here to me, and I just want you to know how very, very grateful I am of how much time you spent collecting your thoughts and communicating them to me. I’ve never received such an essay (I mean that in the most affecionate of ways) in my inbox and it was a heartwarming read from start to finish. Thank you so much. And never be afraid to tell me of the things you dislike, as you did with the oppa kink. I’m always open ears. <333333

[forged-through-trials]

It was a new day, and the first order of business, was drinking away the depression and existential dread left by the last job. Second order of business, was talking to Ongnar once more, and trading him some hot goods! Had to do so quickly, and early in the morning, before Ruin woke for the day and wondered where I’d gotten off to. While we did business, I asked Ongar about the word around town. He had this to say: Ongar: “Heard of Arnora and Jorundr? They were once a happy couple but that’s over now. I hear that he took all of their money and stashed it after he committed a robbery.” Trials: “...’stashed money,’ you say?” Ka-ching! Ongar: “You’ve got that look in your eye. Like a lizard after a payday, you are. She lives in the south end of town. Go talk to her and see if she’s offering any kind of reward for help.” Arnora will be step four for today. Step three will be checking on Ruin, just to let him know I’ll be taking care of some business in town and he can just chill for the day.

When I found him again, he had a strange grin on his face. Trials: “What’s got you so happy this morning?” Ruin: Ruin smiled broadly, obviously amused by my question. “You ask me why I am so cheerful? I will tell you; I have been meditating much on morality of late, and how, somehow, I have regained mine. “As you know, I was once lived in a society--” Trials: “--Bottom Text.” Ruin: “...” Ruin rolled his eyes briefly, before continuing. “--of wickedness. I witnessed much depravity, but kept my objections to myself. “Perhaps if I had voiced my objections, I could have prevented suffering. Or perhaps, I would have suffered along with the victims. I’ve agonized much over whether or not I should have stood up.” Trials: “You were just being cautious. You can’t help anyone if you’re dead.” Ruin: “A very pragmatic analysis. Perhaps I have been too idealistic? “Yet, I cannot help but feel that in remaining silent, I ultimately condoned the cruel actions of my kindred. I wanted to put an end to the suffering caused by my fellows, but I was afraid.” Trials: I raised a brow at him, and crossed my arms. “Why would that thought make you so cheerful?” Ruin: He smiled a little more broadly at that. “I would have thought the answer was obvious. Yesterday, helping the Lirrian Widow find justice, things like that have helped to bring morality into focus, for me. Whereas before, everything blended into a mush of gray, I’m beginning to see the world in the appropriate shades of black and white; good and evil. “I am cheerful because, for the first time in a long time, the world feels as though it is making some sense. Properly divided into black, white, and the gray in between.” Trials: I clicked my tongue, meditatively, and scratched my chin. “...which color do you think you fall into?” Ruin: His brow furrowed in surprise at that pointed question. “I’m... not entirely sure, just yet... though I’m starting to get an idea. Now that I’ve established a firmer moral scale, I can begin to determine where I reside on it. And I suspect some aspects of your moral shading will rub off on me, if we continue to travel together. “By my reckoning, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” I blushed at that last statement, and Ruin gave a chortle as he managed to get under my scales. He thanked me for my time. Now that Ruin had spent the morning practicing his Speechcraft on me, I asked him if he’d be willing to take an easy day off while I looked into what we should do next. He was more than happy to kick back and drink the Fighters Guild’s mead while I did the legwork, which freed me up to look the rumor Ongar fed me about this woman, “Arnora.”

It took a little convincing to get her to open up, but that was accomplished easily enough. People always seem to open up to me after a little talk, a little pie, and maybe some greased palms. Arnora: “I’m sure you’ve heard of the details I’ve leaked; about Jorundr and his run in with the law. Well that may not necessarily be the whole story.” Trials: “So what is the ‘whole story’?” Arnora: “If you want to know that, you’ve got to agree to my scheme, first. Until then, all I can say is, there’s a lot of gold in it if you’re willing to do some work for me.” Trials: “...sssounds legit.” Arnora: “Smart answer. “Jorundr is, to put it succinctly, a thug and an ass. He’s dragged me all over hither and dither, helping him with his petty crimes. “I wouldn’t say we’re thieves . I mean, we’ve stolen things.” Trials: “As one thief to another; that is the literal definition of a thief.” Arnora: “Okay, we’re thieves. But we’re not, like, super greedy. We only take enough to get by.” Trials: “Oh, I can understand that. I only take enough to get pie.” Arnora. “...” She blinked. “Well, to put it in your terms, Jorundr kept wanting more and more ‘pie’. Then, last year, he took way, way too much pie, and--” Trials: “--Got a tummy-ache?” Arnora: “...” She groaned and rubbed her forehead. “Killed. A. Guard.” Trials: “...the analogy kind of breaks down right about here.” Arnora: “We’d waylaid a tax shipment, and Jorundr, mad with greed, killed a guard before he’d realized it. “I was mortified. We stashed the gold and hid out. But while I was off gathering food, the Bruma City Guard found our camp--” Trials: “Wow! They actually did something!” Arnora: “I know. Amazing how they can actually manage to get away from their desks and do some real work when someone messes with the Emperor’s gold, isn’t it? “Jorundr was captured--and served him right--but he’d moved the stolen gold without telling me, that fetcher! “So what I need you to do is go to Bruma Castle’s dungeon, and speak to him for me. Convince him to tell you where the gold is, and then we split it.” And that was my new job. To get some thug to spill the beans about where he stashed some stolen gold. Sounds simple enough.

In the dungeon, I was stopped by the Jailor, “Greeban.” He wasn’t too happy to see me. Less so to hear that I wanted to visit a prisoner. Jailor Greeban: “What a bother. Don’t be too long. I gotta stay with you so there isn’t any funny business.” Trials: “No funny business?” Jailor Greeban: “None. And no tomfoolery, either!” Trials: “What about mischief?” Jailor Greeban: “No mischief! And no horseplay, no shenanigans, or chicanery! No devilry, no deviltry, no pranks, japes, or jigs, and absolutely no naughtiness!” Trials: “...what about a little razzle-dazzle?” Jailor Greeban: “...” He frowned harder at me, sticking out his lower lip. “...Okay, a little razzle-dazzle, because I wanna see it. But just a little!”

Geeban followed me into the dungeon. Jorundr was easy enough to spot, having a large cell to himself. I approached the bars, and spoke to him. Trials: “You’re ‘Jorundr’, right? I’m here to ask you about the Tolen-say Old-gay.” Jorundr: “...wat?” Trials: “The Tolen-say Old-gay. Tell me what I want to know, and maybe I’ll slip you a Ock-lay Ick-pay.” Jorundr: “...whatever you just said, you can forget it!”” Trials: I grit my teeth, balled fists shaking. “Listen, Upid-stay! Tell me about the Tolen-say Old-gay, and I’ll give you a Ock-lay Ick-pay, so you can Eak-bray out of the Ungeon-day!” Jailor Geeban: He knocked on the wall next to me. “Hey! That’s sounding an awful lot like horseplay over there!” Trials: “It’s more like ‘wordplay’.” Jailor Geeban: “No ‘play’ of any sort while you’re down here. Hurry it up!” Jorundr: “Look, I don’t talk to outsiders. No way to know if the guards put you up to this. So you might as well just blow away, because you’re not getting anything out of me.” Huh. So, the trick here is to convince him I’m not in league with the guards. I considered the problem, sizing up the imprisoned Nord, and the jailor. I grumbled, knowing one quick way to get on the Nord’s good side, but being unwilling to do it. Turning to the guard, I sighed and grumbled to myself; “Think of the gold, Trials. Think of the gold.” That decided, I held up both hands, palms open, reminding Geeban about how I’d promised to show him a little razzle-dazzle... then I quickly balled a fist and punched him right in the nose. He managed to shout: “You’re under--” before the sucker-punch took effect, and he flopped over like a cinder-block, crashing through a table on the way down. Jeez, it’s gettin’ so that a lizard-gal can’t even get arrested properly around here! About an hour later, he finally woke up and arrested me, throwing me into lockup, next to Jorundr. ...I’m beginning to think this wasn’t such a good idea. Plans that involve me ending up in the dungeon rarely go good places. Plus, how am I going to explain this to Ruin? “Hi, Ruin, I kind of got arrested. Bring bail-money.” He’ll never let me live it down!” But, I’m here, so there’s nothing to do but try to charm the info about the gold out of Jorundr.

Before I could, however, a guard approached his cell. From what I could pick up of the conversation, the guard was named ‘Tyrellius Logellus’ ... or possibly ‘Horse’s Ass’, as Jorundr called him both. Tyrellius: “Ready to talk, yet? You’ve got nothing to lose, so why not just tell me about the gold and save us both a heap of trouble?” Jorundr: “Yeah, sure, and I suppose I just end up rotting while you spend it all? Forget it!” Tyrellius: “You’re gonna end up rotting here anyway, you idiot!” Jorundr: “I never trusted city guardsmen. Never. So I’m definitely not going to start trusting you!” Tyrellius: “Suit yourself. Enjoy your stay.” Tyrellius stormed off in a huff after that, clearly quite butt-mad that Jorundr wouldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.

Trials: “...did he just not even offer you any kind of deal? Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve personally never found ‘just tell me, bruh’ a persuasive argument.” Jorundr: “It wouldn’t matter if he did offer me a deal. I’d never cut one with that Milk-Drinker. You, on the other hand, hehe, I can tell you’re no friend of the guards. Not by the way they chucked you in here for that love tap you gave Geeban.” Trials: “FIN-ally! Okay, let’s talk about that Tolen-say Old-gay.” Jorundr: “...listen, I’ll talk to you about the Stolen Gold, but knock it off with the Pig-Imperial, will you?” Trials: “...you understood me this whole time?” Jorundr: “I did. I just didn’t trust you. Also--” He proceeded to punch me right in the snout, knocking me on my tail. “--that’s for calling me ‘stupid’ earlier.” I awoke an hour later in a daze, but Jorundr helped me up, and explained to me what he wanted. Jorundr: “I want you to kill Arnora for me.” Trials: “...I’m not really an assassin. Can I just give her a strongly worded letter from you instead?” Jorundr: “Only if you stab her with the pen.” Trials: I paled a little at that. “Why do you even want her dead so badly?” Jorundr: “Because she sold me up the river! Can you believe it? She killed a guard, and had the nerve to pin it on me, selling out our camp to the Bruma City Watch!” Trials: “Huh. She said you’re the one who killed the guard.” Jorundr: “That treacherous witch would say something like that! Everyone is willing to believe I’m violent, just because I punch people who annoy me!” Trials: “...” I rolled my eyes at him. “Yeah, who could possibly get that impression about you? “Now, I don’t suppose you’d take something else in trade for the location of the gold, would you?” Jorundr: “No. And I want proof that she’s dead. Like that amulet she’s always wearing. You bring me it as proof she’s dead, and I’ll tell you where the gold is.” Gentle-reader, I don’t think I need to tell you that I ain’t killin’ nobody in cold blood. But this scheme has effectively hit a wall, so I will need to talk to Arnora and try to figure out what we’re going to do next. ...after I get out of the dungeon. There’d better be a lot of gold in that stash to make up for this indignity. Thankfully, nobody here really likes Geeban, so punching him in the face only holds a maximum sentence of ‘cool your heels for a day’. I was out and about shortly there after, and I rushed over to Arnora’s house to fill her in.

I arrived in time to interrupt her Destruction Practice. I stepped in front of the target to get her attention... and got zapped for my trouble! Arnora: She gasped. “Wh-why would you just walk in front of my spells like that!?” Trials: Still crackling with shock-energy. “Hehehehe, it kind of tingles.” Arnora: “...well, no one ever said I was a good wizard.” Trials: “Anyway, we have a problem. Jorundr says he won’t tell me where the gold is stashed unless I bring him proof that you’re dead.” Arnora: “...y-you’re not actually going to do it, are you? Kill me, that is...” Trials: “Relax. I’m coldblooded, but I’m not a murderer.” Arnora: She sighed with relief. “Good, because otherwise I’d have to defend myself!” Trials: “What? With your puny shock-magic? Feel free to do it again. It tickled!” Arnora: “...” She groaned and sat back on the chest behind her. “I admit it, if you really wanted to kill me, you could. But maybe we can just make Jorundr think I’m dead. Just long enough for him to tell you where he stashed the gold. “What did he want as proof?” Trials: “He said he wants ‘the amulet she’s always wearing’.” Arnora: “Ugh! Of course that pig would ask for that. It’s a family heirloom!” She proceeded to retrieve a red-gemmed amulet, completely separate from the blue one she was actually wearing, from a nearby chest. “Here, take it!” Trials: “...so, I tell you he wants the amulet you’re always wearing, and you give me one that you weren’t actually wearing.” Arnora: “What? They’re both family heirlooms. Besides, Jorundr likes to play mind-games like that. Trust me, this is the one he wants.” Trials: I rolled my eyes. “Fine, but if he punches me again, I’m passing it on to you!”

From there, it was a quick trip back to the castle dungeon. Geeban was... not happy to see me again, but kept his distance as I went in to visit Jorundr. Jorundr: “Did you take care of Arnora?” Trials: “Oh, yes, she’s totally dead. Dead as a door-nail. Dead duck. Dead meat. Dead, dead-dead! She is no more. She’s ceased to be! She’s expired and gone to meet the Nine. She’s now the late Arnora. She’s a stiff! Bereft of life, she rests in peace! If not for all the snow she’d be pushing up daisies! She’s pulled down the final curtain and joined the Choir Invisible. She... is your EX... girlfriend!” Jorundr: “...guess I’m single, now!” He rubbed his hands together. “Okay, now show me the proof.” Trials: I retrieved the red amulet from my pack, and showed it to him. Jorundr: “Wow, you got the one she keeps stowed away! She must really be dead because she’d never even pull that one out of her trunk!” Trials: I rolled my eyes at him. “Yeah... never... anyway, let’s talk about the gold!” Jorundr: “Right, right. The gold is buried outside the walls of Bruma, near the North Gate.” Trials: “Neat! Pleasure doin’ business with you.” Jorundr: “Goodbye. I don’t expect to be seeing you anytime soon. If I were you, I’d get out of Bruma fast before the guards catch on that she’s dead.” And there we have it. A bit more complicated than I would have preferred, but I have the info. That gold is as good as mine!

[popsongloversss-blog]

Chapter 1: Trump is dead!

(Kelsea)

“Oh, he’s dead!” Someone yelled. I ran down to the living room, on the big TV screen the dead body of Donald Trump was seen. Is Trump dead? What a crazy and nice suprise!!!

“And Melanina shot herself.” Kim said.

“Why?”

“Failed plastic surgery.” Katy said.

“Wow.” i said.

“Some people just can't get it right.” Nicki said.

“You don't say.” Ariana Grande said and smirked.

“This is so tragic. NOT” Taylor said.  

“Hahahahahaha.” I laughed.

“Maybe it was someone here who killed him?” Kourtney said while she yelled at Khloe in a corner. I smirked.

My name is Kelsea Kardashian. I was an orphan, starving on the streets when an woman picked me up, that woman was Kris Jenner/Kardashian and now I’m here, hehe so funny. I’m 16 years old, i have blonde hair and brown eyes, I’m a beauty queen!!! Only my lips are fake. It’s so fun to look good and I’m not a whor* like the other girls in my school. My hobbies is actually to spill tea of course. That’s why Kim and Kourtney are my best friends and best sisters. I need to live with Mariah Carey tho, I dont like her, of course.

“Why would someone here kill him?” Khloe asked.

“We think Donald Trump was killed by one of those celebrities. 1. Justin Bieber. 2. Katy Perry. 3. Kim Kardashian. 4. Taylor Swift. 5. Ariana Grande. 6. Nicki Minaj. 7. Lady Gaga. 8. Beyonce. 9. Shakira. 10. Camila Cabello. And at, the orphans.” The reporter said from the TV. I was shocked, I didn’t kill that b*tch, tho I wish I would have. Everyone glared at the suspects in the room.

“It wasn’t me!!!” Taylor yelled.

“I love a drama queen.” Nicki said ironic.

“Stop beefing sis.” Ariana said.

“It were none of my kids!” Kris said and hugged me. She was the best mom ever, she would make med a model one day.

“Thanks mom.” Kim said.

“And now to something more funnier, tho that was fun.” The reporter said. “It’s time for the VMA’s in some day and we are looking forward to great music and shows.” I was still shaken by the news so I had to call my BFF Cardi B.

“Hi girl.” Cardi said. “I saw the news, was it you?”

“Of course not and I’m really worried, can we meet up tomorrow at Starbucks?” I asked.

“Of course.” Cardi said.

Later that night i watched some TV with my family. Kourtney didn’t show up tho, she was mad at Kim.

(Allison)

I sat and looked at the TV. Trump is dead, that’s amazing! I’m really worried about being accused though. I don’t want to go to jail! I’ve already been there for underage drinking and it was awful! If they take me to court I may have to throw Kelsea under the bus, she’d love it since she’d get a shitton of attention on social media.

“It’s going to be okay Allie.” Said Harry and gave me a hug. “You’re not going to go to jail.”

“I know, Harry.” I said. But what he didn’t know is that I once met Trump when he was in my apartment to fu*k my mother.

My name is Allison Styles-Malik-Horan-Payne-Tomlinson but everyone calls me Allie. I have pale skin and dark circles under my eyes. My hair is black and wavy and goes down to my lower back. I’m very skinny because I probably have anorexia. I like emo music, gaming and reading. I always wear a black hoodie, black skinny jeans, black converse, black underwear, black mascara and black eyeshadow. The boys in my school thinks I’m hot but I don’t see it.

“I bet you’re the one who did it you emo wh*re!” Kelsea yelled from across the room.

“Fuck you!” I yelled back and she laughed at me, I ran up to my room, tears escaping my eyes. I locked the door and heard footsteps approaching it.

“Honey are you okay?” Asked Zayn from behind the door.

“I’m fine!” I said back even though I wasn’t fine, I was dying inside.

“I can tell your crying.” He coaxed.

“Well you’re wrong, leave me alone.” I said and heard them walk away.

“No one cares about me.” I whispered and grabbed my dull razor from under my bed and cut myself five times to relieve my pain. I then bandaged it and went to bed.

(Brittany)

“I think I am going to pass out.” I yelled before I passed out. Or at least I thought I was going to pass out, turned out I wasn’t. It was really shocking for me to hear that Trump had died, I was not happy though. The face of my two of my boyfriends appeared in my view. At least I have five boyfriends left since my baby daddy died.

My name is Brittany Minaj. This is my story. I am a lovely seventeen year old girl who loves all my boyfriends, of course I have favourites, but don’t tell Liam. I also love my stunning daughter, . She is just three years old, but she is such a boy chaser. I know that she will probably try to steal my boyfriends when she gets older. Oh, I almost forgot, my heart will always belong to my baby father, it was such a shame that someone murdered Donald. RIP my baby. I am not like other girls, I am so much hotter than the other girls. Especially Alison, I know that she is kind of my stepdaughter, but I hate her and the day that I officially marry all of her fathers, I will kick her out of the household.

“I am so sorry for your loss baby girl, but at least you can spend more time with us and you won’t have to worry about him cheating on you with pornstars or with his wife again. Harry whispered in my tiny ear. His voice was so extremely sexy that I wish I wasn’t on my period.

“Harry, why are you even here? You know we don’t like you!” Niall screamed. He is often very jealous and he doesn’t like Rabat I am dating all of his friends.

“I love you. Do you love me too? I hate fake people. I hope you aren’t fake Harry. If you are fake I have to cheat on you.” I whispered in Harry’s ear. I would kill them if I actually found they were cheating on me. That’s why I often try to expose them for cheating, so that I can sleep at night knowing that they love me and that they will never cheat.

“But why would I cheat on you? And with who?”

“With your secret  lover of course. Yes. I know everything about your secret love story?”

Niall started to look really bothered. But then he smiled the smile he knew I loved.

“Sugar top. Honey bear. Do you love me?” He asked with that quirky smile on his lips.

He started to take off his shirt and that made me sooo happy. I know it might be hard for me to have five relationship at the same time, but I know if I work hard enough I can handle it. Niall started to walk up to me.

“Wow. Another proof that I am grown.”

“Hun. I thought you forgot me. Why do u think I cheated on you and who do you even think I cheated with?”

“Oh sorry baby boy. I will now expose you. I know you cheated on me with the the robot.” I felt how true my words were and Harry looks very disturbing.

“I promise I never cheat with the android. I promise you that I will take care of u and your baby girl Donald Jr, but only if you marry me tonight.” I don’t think that I am available tonight, I think it was Zayn’s night tonight. But I can’t tell Harry that. I looked nervously from Harry to Niall.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to ask my other boyfriend what do!” Then I ran away. I wasn’t sure what else I was supposed to do.

Zayn where you @? I texted.