#i probably missed a whole bunch of stuff

[justanothersyscourse]

I have a couple things to say about this post that I hope you'll consider and take away into future conversations.

First, I sort of like the idea, so let's get that out of the way. It's cute, fun, a way to break the ice. No complaints. I might have even considered a proper response, but... I feel as though you've gone about this in the wrong way...?

Your post feels like it's pretending that everyone just needs to be more open and willing to listen, but at several points throughout, you directly imply that anti endos, specifically, are the problem, and in doing so, defeat the purpose of the exercise. You'll get no responses from anti endos with the wording you've chosen, because it shows that you don't fully grasp the intricacies of what's being argued. It also comes off as... "More mature than you," in tone.

This part, in particular, irked me.

As if anti endos just don't know any better. It's got a... White knight, saviour feeling behind it. As if you can show us the light and magically fix the problems between the communities with friendship and kindness.

Unfortunately, I don't think you understand the actual problems that anti endos have, because at no point do you acknowledge the flaws within the pro/endo community.

Now, let me preface this with the fact that I absolutely acknowledge that there are systems who just flat out say endogenics don't exist and won't hear any words to the contrary. Those aren't the ones I'm talking about. Those tend to be young systems that are only just starting to dip their toes into syscourse (and if you know who I am and what my other blog, sysmedsaresexist, is, you can trust me-- I scour the internet on the daily specifically looking for those conversations).

I'm curious if you've ever actually had a conversation with an anti endo about WHY they're upset?

Because I'm about to lay out my problems, and I genuinely hope you'll hear me out and read until the end-- especially since one of the major problems we have is the unwillingness to listen to what DID/OSDD systems are trying to say.

So, let's start.

Like most pro/endo posts, there's no acknowledgment of the differences between systems. Instead, you've gone the route of, "we're all plural!" and therefore, we all have something in common (ignoring the fact that most DID/OSDD systems don't want to be called plural or included under the umbrella).

But most don't have anything in common, and the vast majority of DID/OSDD systems have a lot of trouble relating to endogenic experiences. This isn't a result of just not listening to each other, or fear of the unknown. It's actually a result of very real physical differences in brain structure.

DID/OSDD is a trauma based disorder. It stems from "injuries" to the brain during childhood. It's these structures and differences that allow for DID/OSDD systems to form alters and have high dissociative barriers. These injuries affect every aspect of our lives--from how we process, retain, and retrieve memories, information, and emotions, to how we perceive and react to the world around us and new experiences.

Someone without these injuries isn't going to understand the problems I have, so putting us all on the same playing field is already... Not great. We're not the same and it's ignoring the additional difficulties I would have.

This also means it's not just a matter of disordered vs nondisordered. Endogenic systems can't have DID/OSDD with this new development (and it is included in the DSM 5-TR now). Endogenic systems that experience later trauma and become disordered don't suddenly have DID/OSDD. They would have PTSD, which has different treatment methods from CPTSD (associated with DDs), and therefore most endogenic systems wouldn't even benefit from DID/OSDD recovery-focused spaces.

More importantly, endogenic spaces are more likely to be harmful to us and our recovery.

This, I think, leads into the next point. Most anti endos are upset with the amount of misinformation within the endo community about our disorder. There's a distinct feeling of being spoken over and ignored when we try to discuss these things, and even your post gives off that impression when you imply that we're the reason there's a disconnect between the communities, and not frustration with the lack of proper, correct information or acknowledgment about our experiences.

Our alters have a physical cause-- this couldn't be more different from spiritual expression or the perception and concept of the self.

Which leads into what we're "afraid" of-- which is young, vulnerable DID/OSDD systems misattributing their symptoms to something metaphysical or spiritual and prolonging getting help.

MOSTLY because of the misinformation about what it means to be disordered and have DID/OSDD. I'm going to try to be super quick with this point, I go into a lot more depth in other posts.

The DSM explains that not all disorders indicate a need for treatment and that "disorder" is not synonymous with dysfunction, but the endo community very much acts as if they are, placing a huge emphasis on how dysfunctional you need to be in order to be disordered. However, the truth of the matter is, that the DSM itself says you don't need to be dysfunctional in certain disorders.

The dysfunction criteria was added to pretty much every disorder as a "generic placeholder" and is circular and redundant, meaning "only a disorder should be diagnosed as a disorder". If you read beyond the criteria for DID, under functional consequences, it states that dysfunction in DID can range from non-existent to severe. This allows for people to maintain their diagnosis despite treatment (an example of this would be... If you go on meds for depression, you're not suddenly no longer clinically depressed, you're just managing symptoms).

In other words, you don't fluctuate in and out of disorderedness based on functionality. You're always disordered, but levels of dysfunction fluctuate.

I think it's a misunderstanding that we're showing "hatred", when the vast majority of us are showing frustration and anger. To have what we're saying twisted and downplayed to simple "hatred" is a huge disservice to our community and truly paints us in a negative light, despite having valid criticisms and issues with the comparison.

You ask what endos have done to us and why we think they're bad, but you don't acknowledge any of the behaviour that is harmful to us, or that confuses young systems trying to figure out what they're experiencing.

Did you know there was an actual plan by endogenic systems to make carrds and threads to silence anti endos and that would pointedly and purposefully avoid mentioning the DSM or DID/OSDD to new systems?

That is what we're up against.

Threads like this, that paint us as the issue and endos as peace keepers extending the olive branch, only add to the growing, mounting problems we have, and push us further away.

And yet, according to endos, we're always the problem.

EDIT: and omg, this idea that we're "suffering"-- give it a rest, endos. The only ones keeping #miserablyDID alive are endos who won't listen.

WHOO BOY ok

first off, merry christmas to everyone! christmas is technically over for us but we'll wish merriness anyway :)

if you celebrate anything else such as hanukkah, eid, yule, kwanzaa, etc then enjoy your festivities!

if you don't celebrate the festive season at all then that's okay too! we hope you simply had wonderful days this month and continue to have even better days in the coming year :) <3

ok, onto the post itself. very nervous to make this as it's a personal ramble about the topic of plurality and of our view on it which could unfortunately stir up syscourse; it feels right to make this post during the festive season though, a time where people become more connected to eachother. we aim to do that w all fellow folk in the plural community who decide to read this post and at the very least take our words into consideration; this post intends to gather plural folk of all kinds to essentially meet face to face and breaking the ice that keeps standing between so many of us all. if you do decide to read it, hi and thank you! <3

(psst, consider reblogging and resharing this to let more people read this! /nf)

CW: DISCUSSION OF FAKECLAIMING , POTENTIAL SYSCOURSE FUEL

we'll start this off with an introduction to ourselves.

hello! we're the winter lodge system (any/all prns) and we recognise ourselves to be a mixed origin system! :] unfortunately, in the plural community this means systems like us along w many other origin ones are recognised as 'fakers' by singlets and fellow systems alike. all because we don't fit in with community standards. we know fully well we are plural no matter our origins, we KNOW we experience plurality in our everyday lives and i want to discuss my thoughts and confusion on this whole shebang as civilly as possible. we encourage all those who comment/reblog to uphold civility and politeness aswell - no nastiness here please! this'll hopefully be a genuine safe space in the plural community for EVERYBODY that interacts.

we don't get why many people in the plural community are so keen to show hatred against fellow plurals all because of them not having formed from trauma. hell, we've questioned this since we first discovered we were plural at all nearly 2 years ago now but for many months we held these questions in due to fear of being harassed or seen as horrible. for over a year, we always wondered things like "what makes endos 'bad' exactly?" but just stuck to the community status quo. i HATE how we were kept in the dark about the truth of plurality for so long but now we want to put our knowledge into words.

we believe that plurality is inherently simple in its definition and complex in its existence. the base for plurality is this simple: have your body shared by two or more beings within. everything else is all unique details exclusive to each plural person(s); it's what makes plurality stunning.

what's sad is that others don't see it this way. they view it as an existence where every plural brain is expected to abide by some medical words on a page written by somebody, where "no two systems are the same" but only in the bounds of these decided rules. if your existence goes beyond these rules, you're treated with disrespect and see yourself across so many dnis all because you exist the way you do.

it's too often we come across an account and check for a dni only to find 'dni endos + supporters' and then moving away from that users page, wondering "why do you hate people you've likely never met? what have they done to you?"

in reality, the plural community overall feels too restricting. expectations on existing a certain way surround you wherever you go which is ironic with how genuinely complex plurality is. it's something you CANNOT properly put into a box or two; the existence of being plural is incredibly vast with basically ENDLESS possibilities. no two systems are the same and we mean it, every little detail of your system besides sharing a body with a second being or multiple will be unique to YOU. no other system would be able to achieve exactly what you and your others have. it makes plurality beautiful, honestly.

this whole topic is why we want to use this opportunity, especially during a time of coming together to rejoice with one another. we want to bring the plural community together a bit more and take steps towards breaking down the walls we've built. walls of hatred, fear, uncertainty. walls that make you fear the unknown and be hostile if it comes close. walls that shun curiousity and being open-minded, that shun taking opportunities and even risks, that shun learning and growing as people.

on this post, we ask that if you're plural in ANY way at all, that you make a simple introduction for yourselves and perhaps share the story of what it's like to live with your plurality!

this is designed ideally to break away at anti-endo ideology and finally have those folks properly meet us non-traumagenic and non-disordered systems directly to know the truth about everything there is to know. this is to communicate who we are to eachother and stop huddling in closed off circles of fear online. this is to rebuild a community that is supposed to be welcoming for EVERYONE INVOLVED, not just one type of system.

everyone is encouraged to interact with others who've introduced themselves in the comments and reblogs, to ask and answer both simple and difficult questions, to properly practice civility even if you eventually scroll past not fully understanding how a system can exist as this or that but also with knowing you can respect everyone anyway and won't police others for things they don't have control over. you're welcome here to ask other systems stuff about themselves, answer questions others give you and ESPECIALLY to make new friends and bring things to eye level! help make others realise the truth about what it's like to exist outside the status quo instead of just going off what others say about you considering they likely wouldn't have met you up until now!

i'm both nervous and excited to see if this can bring people together, im entrusting all of you to work together to not only break down walls here but in more corners of the internet with this. to finish off the post, i (the host Scott) have drawn a few of our headmates celebrating christmas :]

[we're introject heavy wahoo ✌️]

OKAY with all that being said and done, you've finished with the ramble! please go on and interact with the post, reblog it and reshare it with as many people as you can! this is a big goal i have and if it gets pulled off, i feel we can all start to make spectacular feats to move forward and evolve. once again, thank you so, so much. we love you all <3 /p

PEACE OUT, GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL ♥️

[frenchfriedgiraffe]

would have liked to see more of the consequences of dirks time at blackwing pls :((

[autumnrory]

woooo my niece took 5 of my 13 lego sets, one of which was one of the three larger ones, so that's one huge box out of the way and i'm just glad she wanted them because like they ARE twenty years old and they look fine ofc but sometimes kids aren't gonna want stuff that isn't new and shiny ya know, but she did seem to want everything which would've been fine with me but i knew there was no way they would take all that with them, and at least i still have stuff of my own to sell, plus should get at least a cut of my brother's stuff for doing the inventory and putting together that stuff that wasn't already done

[rosiethedragongeek]

heyyyy i've been really busy recently but I'm back to be annoying and take up space on your guys' dashboards again lol

(i've missed you all so much and i'm so excited to be back!! tysm to everyone who reached out just to check on me you're all so sweet and awesome and omg)

[magentagalaxies]

going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao

[hunsa-jars]

Bnuuys

[astrxealis]

making myself suffer looking thru ffxiv stuff on tumblr when i could be playing ffxiv rn but i eternally love and miss ffxiv

[skrunksthatwunk]

man i don't even wanna get into it that much but i gotta say this week has been TOO MUCH. AGH. but we're cool(er) now it's just been Non Stop Choice Making And Task Doing

[chemicalbrew]

more backlog troubles: whyyy do i have so many shitty horror games saved???

[bumpscosity]

I really have to sit down and watch the first saw movie you guys make it sound like its the best thing since sliced bread

[be-good-to-bugs]

well. back to the horrors

[pastorpresent]

Wade LOVES Halloween. Absolutely LOVES it, but his first Halloween with Logan, he decides not to go too overboard. After all, the apartment is Logan's safe space, and he knows he gets easily overwhelmed and filling it with a bunch of loud things that jump out doesn't feel the best option for his PTSD.

He puts up a few decorations, and leaves it at that.

Logan doesn't realise how much the holiday means to Wade until one of his lunch meet ups with Vanessa. She makes a comment about how odd it is that Wade isn't hosting his usual Halloween party this year, and Logan frowns.

"I didn't think he was that into Halloween."

Vanessa snorts, "you kidding me? Our apartment used to look like party city in October."

Logan is confused, until he remembers the way Wade had subtly asked everytime he put up a small Halloween decoration, asking Logan's opinion on the placement, and it clicks in his head that Wade probably thinks he wouldn't like the apartment filled with Halloween stuff.

And yeah, it's not really his favourite holiday, but it seems to be Wade's and he'll be damned if the merc doesn't celebrate it on his accord.

He goes all out. He's not all that familiar with Halloween traditions, so he consults Laura for help. She explains what a 'boo basket' is, and he just sort of stares at her, "why would Wade want a plastic bucket filled with halloween versions of crap he's already got?"

"You're such a man," is her groaned reply, and Logan just adds it to his list of stuff to do.

By the time Halloween rolls around, he's honestly a bit nervous. He spends all day decorating the apartment while Wade is out. He learns from Ness that Wade hates actual pumpkin carving because he can't stand the smell or the feel of the pumpkin guts, so he sets their pumpkins on the coffee table, covered over with a spooky table cloth, with a variety of paints to decorate.

Every inch of the apartment is covered in the tackiest Halloween decor possible. Laura helped him make Halloween cupcakes. Wade's bat basket is sat on the kitchen table, filled up with his favourite candy, a ghost blanket and a little pumpkin stuffed toy. He loads up Hocus Pocus on the TV, since Ness told him it was one of Wade's favourites.

The couples costume is the one thing he insisted on figuring out himself. He'd honestly spent an embarrassingly long amount of time working something out, and he's a little nervous Wade will hate it.

"Honey I'm-"

Logan squirms in the following silence, feeling uncharacteristically anxious. He really wanted to get this right, and he really hopes he hasn't missed anything important and that Wade doesn't think the whole thing is just stupid because he really did try here.

"Are you... Finn?"

"Yeah. I got you uh, princess bubblegum, and..." he whistles for Mary, who waited ever so patiently behind the couch, and she comes scampering out in her Jake costume.

Wade is still just staring, and Logan shuffles awkwardly, "Laura's gonna be Marceline. if you don't want to dress up that's fine. Or if you don't like all this... I can take it down? I wasn't sure what-"

And then he's got an armful of Wade, who's fully wrapped around him, and Logan just barely catches him.

"You like it?" Logan asks, because even if the reaction is pretty telling he needs to know for sure.

"Like it? Like it?! Peanut I fucking love it! I fucking love you," Wade emphasises, tightening his grip, and Logan feels his body relax finally.

"You'll have to thank Laura and Ness. I wouldn't of had a clue what to do otherwise-"

Wade shuts him up with a kiss.

"Thank you, sweetheart. Honestly, you're the best," Wade smiles, a decent that nickname always makes Logan's knees feel a little weak.

"Anything for you, bub. You not realised that by now?"

And it's not a joke, not really, and he can tell Wade knows that by the way his smile softens.

They go to Vanessa's Halloween party that night, and Logan's convinced she crowns them winners of the costume contest out of pity for all of Logan's effort the last few days, but it doesn't matter anyway because of the way the matching 'best dressed' sashes make Wade somehow light up even more for the rest of the night.

[pre11yyy]

SUMMARY: You've been teasing Haechan way too much lately so he had to put an end to it (by fucking u so good)

A.N: this was originally a hard thoughts drabble but i just felt like writing more into it so hope u enjoyy... Also m in a very Haechan mood today so i might or might not spam u with his content sorry not sorry

Warnings: explicit content (mdni), mean!haechan, hard!dom!haechan, choking (with hands and cock), hard fucking, unprotected seggs, and more

You were standing in front of Heachan's door, ur hands playing with the hem of ur skirt as u wait for ur brother to show up so u could leave. U always kind of felt nervous around Heachan, u don't know if it's because he always eye-fucks u whenever u r around him, or because of his never ending teasing but u were sure that if u were to be in space alone with him something will 100% happen between both of u.

U can feel that he was only holding back because of his friendship with Mark and that makes u uneasy, so u've been playing with his nerves lately, wanting him to snap out and to give in for his dick i mean for his emotions but also his dick. You didn't know what has gotten into u yesterday but u sent him a picture with ur new red lengerie, waiting for him to see it before deleting it and sending a bunch of sorries wanting to see his face more than anything, but he didn't reply, only reading ur texts without an answer and u couldn't help but wonder if u crossed the line or if u read wrong into him. You weren't sure about coming here with Mark to get his jacket that he forgot in Heachan's house, embarrassed but also curious at the same time, eyes looking for him as he disappeared in his room, hearing his chatter with Mark about random stuff while leaving u standing in the hallaway, u were about to sit in the sofa when u heard their footsteps coming ur way and u stopped looking at Heachan who threw u a very intense look, his eyes hazy as they noticed u, drinking ur excuse of the dress that u fought with Mark over, the small piece barely covering ur ass, ur makeup heavier than usual and the only thing that Heachan wanted to do was to smear it and mess it up but he held himself or at least he tried before he saw the ghost of the red lace bra under ur dress, the same one u sent him yesterday, he cursed under his breath knowing exactly what u r trying to get from all this and he sure will give u that and more.

Mark wrapped his arm around ur shoulders "let's go" u pulled him away annoyed that he messed up ur hair but he returned it in immediately making u fight with him ur dress riding up as u squirm trying to get him away, Heachan watched the whole thing, his pants tightening as he saw the red thong pop in contrast with ur skin, flashing half of ur butt to him. He clenched his hands, his leg shaking impatiently and praying that u'd leave soon or else he'll bend u over in front of Mark. And as if his prayers were answered Mark let go of u earning couples of hits in his chest while laughing at ur tired form, he turned to Heachan "u coming dude?" he asked making the other frown confused "where?" his eyes falling back to u, not missing the small grin on ur face "y/n wants to get a tattoo, it's gonna probably take a long time i'll be so bored if i go with her alone" Heachan raised his eyebrows at u, u really giving it ur best ha! He nodded agreeing to join u and he almost regret that. U were laying on ur stomache the tattoo artist working on ur inner thigh, Heachan could see u through the empty space in the glass, he could see ur ass sticking out as the tattoo artist is inking in ur skin, not paying attention anymore to whatever shit Mark is saying, his mind wondering to later on, to when he'll have u and make u pay for all the teasing u did to him cause ofc he won't let it slide…

U were on ur way back, Heachan's the one driving insisting for both of u and Mark to spend some time in his house and Mark agreed even tho he wanted to drop u off before hands but Heachan refused, u were about to reach Heachan's house when Mark's phone started ringing, "ohh okaay i'll be there in 20 minutes, okayy dw" Mark sighed asking Heachan to drop him off right there "i have to go, they need more waiters tonight" Mark turned to where u r pretending to sleep knowing so well that he would force u to go home right away and u can't let that happen, not when u have this big of oppotunity "dude what am i gonna do? should i wake her up?" Heachan shooked his head "no need i'll take care of her dw" it took Mark a minute to nod his head not sure if he did a good job or not but trusting his friend nonetheless. The moment u heard the door click and the engine start again u opened ur eyes, sighing in relieve and laying there playing with ur phone, excitement filling ur whole body… U felt the car stopping before Heachan got off the car closing the door with too much force that it startled u, u got out of the car seeing Heachan's back facing u as he was opening the door to his house, u stepped in, tugging the end of ur skirt as u followed him inside and the next thing u know, u were pressed on the wall, Heachan's hand wrapped around ur neck making u gasp, his other hand on ur hips, breathing right into ur ears "u played with wrong person little doll" he whispered the hand on ur neck moving up to grip ur jaw making u moan from how rough he is, he chuckled looking at u amused "we didn't even start and u r moaning already?" he clicked his tongue moving ur face and forcing u to look at him, ur hazy eyes meeting up with own and u felt ur legs weaken at the way he was staring at u,

he burrowed his head on ur neck nibbling at ur jaw, his right leg forcing it's way between ur legs, urging u to sit on his thigh and he groaned as he felt ur wetness through his pants, his hand letting go from ur face and gropping ur breasts on top of ur dress, kneading them harshly loving the sound of ur moans and whimpers as u grind at his thigh "i bet u've been waiting for this to hapen right? to come here and for me to fuck u senseless" you whimpered in response, his knee raising slightly to press more on ur pussy making u scream his name, his eyes never leaving ur face, loving the way u look, mouth wide open, eyes rolling back, drooling at the pleasure u were feeling, your makeup a mess already, he groaned, his cock twitching at the sight, his hands leaving ur breast and traveling down to your ass, gripping it tightly and pulling ur body forward making u ride his thigh properly, his hands controlling ur every movement and not letting u stop even if u begged, he moved his face towards yours, his lips ghosting over yours, his hot breath fanning on your skin and you were so eager to kiss him, to taste his mouth that u've heard multiple times talking so dirty and sinful that it drove you crazy.

But he won't give in that easy, he moved away, his hand still controlling your hips and making you chase your orgasm, a devilish grin spreading across his face as he looked at the desperate mess he turned u into, your hands holding onto his shirt for dear life, your knuckles turning white, your eyes closed, your breathing uneven, your whole body trembling from the pleasure, your hips stuttering from overstimulation your thighs clenching around his knee. He chuckled "cum for me doll, cum for me like the desperate whore u are" you moaned in response, his voice and dirty talk sending u over the edge, the pleasure taking over ur whole body, a scream escaping your lips as you cum hard, your juices spilling out on his pants.

He let go of your body and you slumped down to the floor, a satisfied smile on ur face as you look at him through ur hazy vision, his hands fumbling with his belt and undoing his zipper, pulling out his cock and stroking it slowly, the precum spilling out of his slit, his eyes trained on your body, his tongue licking his bottom lip, he smirked and you knew that this won't end until he has his fill. "Strip"

You stood up on wobbly legs, the post orgasm high making your head spin but u still manage to strip out of ur clothes, standing naked in front of Heachan whose hungry eyes were scanning every inch of ur skin, his cock hard and ready, his hand stroking it as he looked at u. He groaned and walked towards you, his hand on the back of ur neck pushing u down until u were face to face with his cock, the tip touching ur lips leaving a trail of precum.

"Open your mouth little doll" despite his words he didn't give u a chance to do so shoving his cock inside your mouth, hitting the back of ur throat and making ur gag reflex kick in, he pushed his cock even deeper inside, making it hit ur throat as tears rolled down ur cheeks, you started coughing and trying to pull away but his hand didn't budge, not letting you escape, not until his whole cock was coated with ur saliva. You sucked him in and swallowed his cock whole, trying your best not to choke, your nails digging into his thighs, leaving crescent moons on his skin.

He grunted, his hand fisting ur hair and forcing you to deep throat his cock, your jaw starting to hurt and you were close to passing out from the lack of air, Heachan groaned as he released his seed deep down your throat, you swallowed everything, his hands finally letting go of your hair and you fell on the floor this time gasping and trying to regain your breath. U were panting, drool and his cum drippin on ur chin, eyes teared up smeering ur mascrara and eyeliner, your body hot and sweaty and the only thing he wants to do is to make u beg for his mercy but he held himself back, pulling his cock back into his pants and adjusting them making u look at him confused "w-what are u doing?" you asked, the panic evident in your voice, scared that he'll leave u hanging. He raised his eyebrow at you and chuckled "what is it doll? did you think i'll let u go this easily?" his eyes darkening and the corner of his lips quirking up "what do u think? should i leave u now?" he asked the smirk evident on his lips as he saw how eargerly u were shaking ur head "use your words little doll" he teased and u blushed "please" u whimpered "please what? what do u want?" he teased, enjoying how flustered and nervous u are getting.

"I want you to fuck me" u whispered, eyes casted down, he lift ur chin forcing u to look at him , his other hand removing the strands of hair that got stuck on ur face "i don't know if u derserve it tbh" u pouted at him, making him laugh ur insides tightening delicously at the sound of it "so eager for me huh? u want me that bad? u want my cock so deep inside u?" u nodded eagerly and he smiled at ur desperation, his hand letting go of ur chin and wrapping around ur throat as he pulled you towards him, his other hand holding ur jaw forcing u to keep your eyes on him.

"I'll make sure to break u until all u can do is beg me to stop, until the only word left in ur mind is my name, until u forget every other name but mine" he whispered in ur ear, his grip tightening making u gasp and moan "is that what u want? tell me doll" you nodded, a silent "please" escaping ur lips and he smirked, satisfied with ur answer. He led u towards his room, pushing u onto the bed, his mouth finding its way to your neck, his teeth scraping ur skin and sucking on it harshly, leaving marks on the way. His tongue trailing a path from ur collarbones, to ur nipples, swirling his tongue around them before biting and sucking them harshly, making you moan loudly. "You're such a slut for me aren't you y/n? always teasing me, wanting my cock inside u" his hand reached down, two fingers plunging inside your pussy without warning, a loud moan leaving ur lips as his fingers curl inside u, his thumb pressing on ur clit, sending shivers down ur spine.

"Oh my god.. ahh" he chuckled, his mouth still leaving marks on ur skin while his fingers are moving inside u. "I love how wet u got for me baby, so wet and ready to take my cock" his thumb speed rubbing harshly against your clit making u squirm on his hold from the pleasure until u cum, your juices squirting and covering his fingers, incoherent words leaving ur mouth as u try to catch ur breath but he didn't let that happen his hand never stopping its movement, fingers thrusting in and out, curling and uncurling, making ur walls flutter around him, your whole body twitching as he overtimulated u while u were trying to pull him away from u, ur tears not stopping as u cried and begged him to stop, "Fuck… Heachan please… Please i can't anymore" u whimpered, tears rolling down ur cheeks as you kept cumming, his fingers never leaving, the pleasure was too much that u were about to pass out but he won't let u, his hands finally stopping, showing u his fingers that were coated with your juices before he licked them, enjoying the sweet taste of it.

"You're doing good doll, u taste so sweet" he cooed, his mouth leaving kisses and licks on ur face, his hands roaming around your body, making your breath hitch and ur skin tickle, his fingers finding its way to ur neck, wrapping around it and squeezing gently, your mouth forming a small o shape, his other hand holding your jaw, his mouth on top of yours, his tongue forcing its way inside and exploring ur mouth, u felt his fingers tightening its hold blocking the air making u dizzy the only thing u can hear is your own heartbeat, your eyes rolling back and closing, the pleasure making its way through ur body, your whole body going limp as he kisses the life out of you. He pulled away, his fingers letting go of ur neck and you gasped, trying to take in the air, Heachan kissed the side of ur neck before whispering in ur ears "are u ready baby?" he bit ur jaw "are u ready for my cock?" u nodded eagerly and he flipped you over, his fingers digging into ur hips, his cock entering inside u in one thrust making u cry out his name, the sudden pleasure overwhelming and making ur head spin, Heachan groaned at the way ur walls wrapped around him squeezing his cock so tight making his mind go blank and his self control slip, he moved, his hips moving in and out, his pace fast and rough, not caring whether it's hurting you or not, all he wanted was to have his way with you and mark you and make sure that you'll be thinking of him and him only.

"Shit… u feel so good y/n, so fucking tight" he cursed under his breath, his hands holding onto ur hips, his fingers bruising the soft skin as u were gone, ur mind so foggy only gasping and moaning as he pounded into u, his cock hitting deep, his hips slamming hard into your ass, a string of curses leaving his lips, the pleasure so great and overwhelming that his mind is clouded, all he can think about is you and his need to release, his need to cum deep inside and to make sure that u r full and dripping with his cum.

You were so close, u can feel it, you were about to cum,your whole body trembled as his fingers were digging harder into your skin holding you close and tight, u felt his thrusts getting sloppier and faster, his cock reaching the deepest spots, hitting your g spot over and over again, and when his hand reached around and pressed on your clit, it was over for you, you came with a scream, his name leaving your mouth as ur thighs were shaking, your eyes rolling back, ur whole body trembling, and Heachan wasn't done, he groaned, his movements slowing down as he filled you with his cum, his cock pulsating inside of you, his cum dripping down ur thighs as he pulled out. Heachan was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took, his hands moving away from your hips watching intensly how his cum oozed out of you, a smug look on his face, proud that he marked you as his, your whole body aching, his hands were all over you, tracing every bruise and bite mark he made, his lips trailing kisses on your neck, a small smile on his face as he held you in his arms making u cling to him more before u felt something poking ur back and u widen ur eyes so tired "Heachan please no" u whined trying to get away from his hold but his grip was tight, not letting go as his lips curled up, his smile growing wider "just one more time y/n" and u were sure by the tone of his voice that he doesn't mean that at all.

[ladyelissarose]

———————— ☠️

“Mmph!! -aby! Hol- on. mmm.”

“No- mmhmm.. let me -ave you.”

You were too caught up in Simon’s passionate kisses to even pay attention to his pleas and listen to them. But it had been a whole two LONG months since you two have seen each other, all because you were sent on different missions. And now that you had him back in your hold- there was no way you’re letting him go.

How your relationship worked out was beyond those who knew, but some spark had ignited a flame between the two of you since first sight, and that fire was growing and never ending on both of your watches.

So on his thick thighs you sat, holding his cheeks with his mask bunched up at his nose, giving him open mouthed kisses, wanting to taste and remember all of him as you had gone endless days and nights without him.

Simon groped your thighs tightly after he had left his fingers printed on your hips, missing what you felt like under his touch while all over him, he needed to feel you again, as you were his and only his.

Teeth practically crashing and lips probably bruised by now, you two shared breaths and hearts were synchronizing into one beat, you two becoming one.

You moaned into Simon’s mouth after he tightened his hold on you and lightly bit your bottom lip,

“Si- mmph! Easy solider... muah!”

You gave him a firm kiss before pulling away, a little streak of who knows who’s saliva of the two of you is lingering on your lips. Simon wiped it away gently with the pad of his thumb as he attentively heard you ask ever so sweetly,

“Si... can we do a bath when we get home?”

His eyes holding only love and admiration for you as you sat above him like a queen on her throne. He couldn’t even think of you lustfully as you beautifully sat right on him, sometimes all he wanted was to be loved and feel it in his chest beating out erratically. Feel fully satisfied in and out by your simple touch and loving words.

His brown eyes were raking all over your face as he nodded slowly, his fingers rubbing small circles on your waist,

“Of course love.”

A soft smile made it up to your lips at his agreement, since he wasn’t always up for touchy-touchy stuff. But also because you were feeling touch deprived of him, you went on for more,

“With the bubbles an-“

He nodded once again but as he bud in to finish your words,

“-and the candles, wine.. kisses... and se-mmmmph..”

You planted a long kiss on his lips, cutting him off as you were feeling even more happy. Cherishing Simon’s openness with you, and grateful that he was letting himself go and giving himself a chance to feel love and peace.

“-on’t sto- mmph..”

“Shh- mmmph-“

Breathing hard through your noses as you both couldn’t- refused to separate or go light on the kiss, choosing to deeply demonstrate your love even if you suffocated for it. Tasting and feeling him was Heaven and a whole new boost of hope for you, a beautiful gift. And for him you were a boost of life and reason to live.

Simon’s strong arms held you up and close to him, you could feel every part of him under you and his scent was so engulfed in you. Everything of him was in the palm of your hand, and with the heart you have given him, you loved and treasured him.

From back then compared to now- there was a big difference on how Simon accepted affection. Before you could barely hold his hand without him flinching away, holding a slight fear in his eyes along with uncertainty. It was hard for you at first to adjust with him, and show him in the smallest ways, that what you had to offer to him was safe and full of love.

Baby steps is what it took for Simon to finally be here and open up to you, receiving and giving affection or touch. Now in the comfort of his own room or yours (for he never showed strong PDA outside, he had a stern reputation to keep and you agreed with it- he was the Ghost after all.) He’d hold you close and wouldn’t let go for long periods of time.

“I missed you... so much.”

Hearing anything of vulnerability coming from Simon was rare, but cherished nonetheless when it came, as it was very genuine and heartfelt.

You planted a sweet kiss on his forehead as his doe eyes continued to admire everything about you that was all his,

“I miss you too sweetheart... I’m happy you’re ok.”

A small smile pulled at his lips,

“I’m happy you’re ok too love... I am happy with you.”

The cold, distant and bitter Simon was no longer around once he got to know you, you had become the light and joy of his life, and you had changed him completely- you saved Simon’s life before he let Ghost consume him fully.

You were the balance between the two lives he carried, you loved them both equally and were present where he needed. Either to stand by his firm choices on the battle field or watch his six- or to cuddle him at night when he needed to feel you after a rough day or nightmare.

Simon let his hand rest on the back of your neck, letting his fingers weave through your hair before pulling you close again, foreheads resting on one another while your lips barely touched, eyes closed in peace. He left his hand there and the other rested on your back, yours were planted on his firm chest, feeling his calm breaths fill him up and steady his heart beat under your palm.

“I love you Simon..."

Simon smiled fully and pressed your lips on his, letting you feel it, and without moving or anything else he replied against them,

“I love you more.”

[redflagshipwriter]

check yes to go on a date w a dead guy ch 4 progress

next chapter here

(masterpost with this story here)

It took a minute for Jason to recover from that realization. He kept the anger he felt off his face. Danny didn’t seem upset about dying young, but that didn’t mean much. It wasn’t an appropriate topic to prod about on a first meeting. He’d get there eventually.

Jason stilled. Ah, shit, he still didn’t have a plan. Just eating together was too short and too boring. He needed to have something better than that.

Fuck, what were they going to do next? 

Jason strained for ideas. What was a good date? Normally, he'd know more about a person before they hung out romantically. 

Well. Actually, normally he hung out platonically with someone a lot before he started to feel interest in them. This was all kinds of backwards: but he didn't want it to end yet. 

“So, uh, what do you like to do?” Jason asked. Masterful. So smooth.

Danny scrunched up his nose. “Lately my afterlife sucks,” he groused. “I am drowning in paperwork and busy stuff.” He slumped over. “I miss being in high school,” Danny sighed. He drew his knees in and rested his elbows on them, then squished his cheeks with his palms. “I guess I used to just hang out, you know?” He shrugged. “Played a lot of video games. I miss that.” 

“Of course,” Jason said, despite never having hung out and played video games in high school. He'd been an overscheduled nerd in junior high school and then been too dead for high school. “That sounds fun. Wanna go back to mine and play something later?”

Danny lit up, blue eyes sparkling in the fading light. “Yes! That would be great.” He straightened his legs and kicked his heels against the side of the building. “Wait, can we do the whole grungy high school hangout thing with pop and chips and dip and pizza and stuff?”

He almost said “we literally just ate”, but what the hell. “We'll hit the store next,” Jason said. He couldn't say no to that face. Look at ‘em. He was so excited.

'Ugh, god. Danny died in high school,’’ Jason realized. He'd already known Danny died young but it still stuck in his stomach like a rock. 'No wonder he misses what he did then. He's interacting with the physical world now but if he died, he probably went to like, dead land immediately.’

But, uh. Video games. He could do that. He kept up a conversation as his mind churned, asking Danny what kind of games he liked.

The thing was, Jason didn't really play video games. He had a console at his place and if he was hanging out with Roy or Dick there, they'd bring a game over. He owned like, two games. 

He considered popping by the store and just buying something. But that would be weird and intense. He'd probably freak Danny out if he went and dropped money on a game just to play with him. 

Ok. Well. He'd get someone to drop off games before he and Danny could get back to the apartment. Jason sneakily got out his phone and strategized. 

Steph? No. Terrible. He couldn't let that girl know he had a date until the poor bastard really liked him for sure. She'd either chase Danny off or somehow orchestrate the two of them getting engaged. 

Tim? God, no. He'd definitely own a lot of games but they'd all be for the PC, and he'd hang around and smirk about Jason meeting up with Danny.

Dick? Too far away, and way too smug. He'd take it as an opportunity to tease.

Oh, wait. He had it. Jason opened up a message to Duke and sent out a quick “I want to bribe you. Homemade pizza? Artichoke dip? Fried oysters???” 

“Did you take a life?????” Duke shot back. Then, “pizza! What do you need?” 

“Get to my place with a bunch of video games that'll work on my tv in less than an hour and I'll make whatever you want.” 

The three dots indicating typing popped up. They stayed there for a weirdly long time. Then, Duke said, “Can I stay and hang out? 🥺”

Adorable little bastard. Jason typed out NO and then hesitated, feeling kinda bad.

“Who's that?” Danny prompted. 

Ah, shit, he was being rude. Jason flushed. “Asking a little brother to bring over a game,” he admitted. “He wants to stay.” 

Danny laughed. “That's adorable,” he announced. “It's fine by me. Lots of games are better with more people, anyway.” 

Well. If that was the case, Jason was fine with it. He sent Duke an OK and then put his phone away before the inevitable “I AM THE FAVORITE SIBLING” fireworks started. 

[uptoolateart]

Here's a whole bunch of initial thoughts I have after watching the London Special.

Time Travel

Speaking as someone who writes way too many stories involving time travel...there were a lot of holes in this special. Also, I appreciate that it's been 15 months since the S5 finale aired, and they probably wanted to remind us (and especially children) of the key moments...but some scene repetition felt like it was just there to pad out the episode length. But I'm gonna shrug all that off because of everything else this special did.

Lies, Lies and More Lies

I've not been quiet about how angry I was over Ladybug lying to Adrien and keeping vital secrets, in that S5 finale. I'm so glad to see that this special addressed that stuff. By the end, we see that both heroes are keeping secrets. Cat's identity has become more pertinent than never, and she has no idea.

Going Too Far

In their final conversation, Ladybug told Cat she worried she might have gone 'too far' this time. Throughout S5, we were repeatedly told no one has ever been able to handle unifying the miraculous like Marinette can. We also watched her change dramatically over that season. By the S5 finale, I felt like she'd become overpowered. In this special, I think she acknowledged that. Maybe she handed out the other miraculous because she realised she was in danger of becoming another Gabriel, e.g. making decisions about what's right for Adrien, etc.

Did She Make the Right Decision?

With no one else to turn to, Marinette asks Plagg and Tikki if she made the right decision. They don't tell her she's wrong, but they also seem very undecided. She also asks Bunnyx, who tells her that both paths - telling or not telling Adrien the truth - will lead to both happy and sad moments. This warns us that hard times are on their way. She wants to 'protect Adrien', but she can't. She can't keep him from pain. seems to suggest that Marinette's choice to keep the truth from him is going to lead to some hard times.

Kagami

Kagami intimated that she disagreed with Marinette's decision. When she comforted Adrien in the white room and told Bug Noire to go...that really hit me. There is so much going on there. Transformed, Marinette can't comfort Adrien. In fact, she's just hurt him, and Kagami is the only one in that scene able to help him pick up the pieces. Not just that, but Kagami can relate. Remember her name means 'mirror'. She's now in the position Adrien could be in, if he knew the truth. She's the one trying to come to terms with the truth about her parent. She's the one dealing with the knowledge that she's a sentibeing. She is an example of Adrien's alternate path. When she tells Bug Noire that she's letting her love for Adrien blind her...Kagami is speaking personally - as someone who can put herself in Adrien's shoes in a way Marinette just can't.

If I Could Turn Back Time

When Chrono Bug got that black cat calendar as a lucky charm, she must have known it meant Cat Noir was somehow the solution. But she ignored it. I think her emotions regarding Adrien blinded her from understanding what the universe was trying to tell her.

She and Bunnyx spent much of the episode trying to determine the crucial moment when things started spinning out of control - the moment they needed to change. Marinette focused on the revelation of her identity, which I'm sure was vital. BUT...the elephant in the room was the moment she chose to lie to Adrien. Standing in that time burrow, she had a chance to change the story she told him and undo everything that's on its way. Surely that cat calendar was hinting at this.

Kitten

I think it's telling that the cat on the calendar was a kitten. It felt like the universe was telling her there's something she isn't seeing in Cat - that he's more fragile and in need of nurturing than she acknowledges. When she sees him at the end, and he tells her he has his own awful secret - when he cries over it - she should be questioning why he's that eaten up about missing that final battle. What's his secret? Why's he so devastated? But she's too wrapped up in her own conundrum. Like in Cat Blanc, she's not 'listening'. For me, the most painful moment was when he tried to reassure her that things would be okay - now it'll be 'you and me again, just like old times'. She hasn't yet told him there's actually a huge team now. But they both must understand that the old times are well and truly gone.

The Truth Is Out There

We're now waiting for yet another reveal. Adrien and Marinette still have to find out they're Cat and Ladybug - but Adrien also has to find out the truth about his father. This special hammered it all in so hard that it's Chekhov's gun waiting to go off. What I wonder is if the writers had this angle in mind all along, or if they did this after they saw the fan reaction to that S5 finale. I suspect it's a bit of the latter, particularly because they also had Bunnyx explain that Marinette's reaction to Gabriel in the S5 finale was her getting the 'proof' that he was Monarch. Her reaction was one of many things we all questioned after that episode first aired, so I think the writers were trying to 'fix' things with this special. And I'm fine with that. I'm pleased that they're listening and not just moving on from this stuff / trying to sell it to us that lying to someone is 'the right thing to do'.

The Wild Card

At the end of S5, I thought it was clear that Lila had worked out Ladybug's identity. I assumed S6 would involve some vendetta against Marinette. This special demonstrated that would make things too easy, so they levelled the playing field. Lila doesn't know Ladybug's identity. But she does know Monarch was Gabriel. I think it's inevitable that at some point (probably not for ages, because the writers will want to string us along in suspense), she'll tell Adrien the truth about his father.

Cat Blanc

I think 'Cat Blanc', and Adrien's vision in the white room, were foreshadowing. In this special, we saw how angry Adrien was at Bug Noire when she told her story. He demanded to know why she couldn't save Gabriel. He seemed to have forgiven her by the end, but when he learns the truth, he's going to feel so betrayed. And when he breaks down...watch out, moon.

The Inevitable Break-Up

I think it's inevitable that Adrinette will break up...but only temporarily. When it all blows up, it could be the necessary turning point we've been waiting for, where they finally get on equal footing - where their relationship is based on honesty and total mutual respect.

Conclusion

Buckle up, guys. We're in for a bumpy ride - but I remain optimistic. After 15 crazy months, I'm finally no longer angry about the S5 finale.