#i present to u dazai so being so anxious an lovesick he actually ambushes you with a fake suicide attempt shdhjejd

[yayll]

idk if u feel comfortable writing marriage but dazai proposing perhaps...? i love u and ur dazai so baddd you capture his depravity perfectly :(( <3

PLEASEEEE ALL IVE EVER WANTEDDDD IS SOMETHING LIKE THIS i want to see him soft, deranged, and so far down bad for u that he can't even recognize himself in the mirror. thank u baby, i hope u enjoy this!

~ a little something about Dazai and the concept of spending forever with you ~

"... Soo, what are you wearing?~"

You roll your eyes at the way he flirts lamely on purpose, flipping through the channels of your tv. A smile tugs at your lips as your other hand holds the phone to your ear.

"... I'm wearing something warm. Might watch a movie, you should stop by."

He smiles from the other end of the line, your reply as generous as always. He's forever at your beck and call, but tonight is different. He wants to spice things up. He clears his throat, letting out a dramatic sigh along with his response.

"Oh, l'd love to, but I'm currently about to jump off a building and I seem to only have mere seconds left to discuss the true meaning of life before I swan dive right into the abyss!"

You immediately put your remote down and raise an eyebrow, your voice becoming firmer. You were used to this, but the edge in his voice always did something to cause chaos in your decision making.

"Where are you? I'll come get you."

"I'm in the trenches of my own desires, I'm afraid..."

You sigh and rub your temple. Patience is probably the only thing this man has taught you.

"What do you want me to do, then?"

There's a long pause after that, followed by the wind bellowing on his end. He murmurs into the phone, his voice softening.

"...Marry me, I suppose."

"You're dying anyway, does my answer even matter?"

His lips curl into a wicked grin, he loved when you played the game back.

"It may alter a few things, yes. What do you say?"

"I thought you didn't care for all of that official stuff..."

You hear a hearty chuckle, strained and practiced.

"Maybe I can care a little. Come on, cutie. Think faaaast."

The way he purrs that last line really makes you contemplate what sin from your past life you must be repenting for, because that's what dating Dazai felt like at times. You were always so careful, always keeping track of everything in your life so effortlessly. There wasn't a last minute plan or a late night talk you couldn't fit into your routine and you manage to somehow include him in all of it.

You were a saint.

You didn't need to put in all of the extra effort being with someone like him comes with, yet you always seemed to genuinely want to. You never tried to fix him either, but you made sure to always be there when things got especially dark and laughed at his self-deprecating jokes in public when everyone else would stare in concern. You knew him and how he operated, this wasn't going to spook you so easily. You simply cross your legs and sink further into the couch as you reply in a deadpan voice.

"Sorry, I don't accept proposals over the phone."

You hang up right after saying that.

Upon hearing the call drop, he bites back a groan, your indifferent reply going straight down to his already aching core. He laughs to himself for a moment, the brisk wind pushing back his messy brown locks as he sits there thinking about what grand miracle must have happened for him to finally meet someone who could match him. Other couples marked milestones with dinner or a card, but you guys did things differently. He found it intoxicating when you made him work for it, something no one could ever make him do even if it really did come down to his own mortality. He was a slackoff, a total waste of bandages some have said, but whatever you saw in him was the reason he still bothered with the meaninglessness of it all.

Your love enables him to be worse for the better!

Dazai finally decides to call it here and carefully makes his way down from the roof of your apartment where he's been the entire time. He hopes you never find out this isn't the first time he's done this, sometimes his self care consists of watching whatever you're doing from a distance and that's okay! That's giving you the space you've asked for before! This is just a form of foreplay, really. He dusts himself off and walks a few steps to your front door. He knocks exactly one time before you open the door, your face going from pleased with yourself to absolutely clueless in a second.

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I jumped, remember?"

You look up at your ceiling and then back at him, finally connecting the dots. You huff and immediately smack his arm.

"You could have been inside with me the whole time instead of freezing out there!"

He clutches his arm and makes an exaggerated pained expression, quickly replaced by his signature smirk. He nods with enthusiasm.

"Yes!"

You sigh, stepping aside.

"You're a nightmare. Come in."

He immediately obliges, striding indoors and hanging up his coat on the rack. He turns to you, like some proud little kid with his hands behind his back. You two stare at each other for a few moments, your cheeks flushed and eyes narrowed while his are strangely at ease. Not a single recognizable expression on his face, deceptively thoughtless. Only Dazai could make you feel this way in your own home, it was a wreck for the butterflies in your stomach and an even worse reckoning for your heart. He steps a little closer, breaking the quiet streak with a playful murmur as he tucks a piece of his messy bangs behind his ear, showcasing that devastating jawline.

"I was just strolling around the neighborhood when I thought about how the act of proposing is a subversive act on its own. A defiant gesture against the monotony of existence, a true act of rebellion! It's endearing to willingly enter a cage of gilded societal expectations for someone, don't you think?"

You simply stare in awe for a moment, catching yourself from whatever he's talking about. You shake your head, letting out the breath that you've been holding. Patience, you remind yourself.

"Don't be so dramatic, Osamu. You're barely taking yourself seriously."

He tilts his head when you say that, leaning down to meet your gaze with genuinely curious eyes and lopsided smile. A wild fire burning behind them as your answer does nothing but excite him.

"Have I ever been anything but dramatic? You should marry me for my honesty alone~"

You snort, rolling your eyes, as you look off to the side for a moment. It's hard maintaining eye contact with Dazai, he will always devour the last bit of your dignity before you manage to get your bearings. When you don't say anything, he mutters once again, voice getting softer by the second.

"...l wouldn't mind getting down on my knees for you. I do it all the time."

You snap your face back to him, letting out a flustered gasp as you smack his arm again.

"Osamu!"

He giggles, eyes burning with desire. Your touch feels so good in any format, he can do this all night. He hopes you'll go for the face next. He places a hand on your waist, bringing you in closer as his long bandaged fngers gently hold you in place. He whispers, leaning in so that his nose brushes against your neck, each word reverberating against your veins as he speaks painfully slow.

"It's your fault for having a thing for hopeless, lost cases. You still like those, right?"

His other hand tips your head up as he begins to place small kisses along your throat. His warm breath sends a shiver down your spine, especially when you feel the wetness he leaves behind when he nips at the soft fragile skin of your neck. He murmurs once more, purring into you as he slowly backs you up into the hallway.

"... Always having such terrible taste in men, always going for the ones who are more trouble than they're worth. I can't say I'm not thankful, it's sort of why I'm here to begin with."

You reply with a soft whimper, and that makes Dazai grin against your skin, enabling him to continue his assault on your neck. He's vampiric with the way he hopes to kiss his essence into you, a biological love letter embedded into his lips and entering your bloodstream with every little mark he leaves behind. He bites down on your pulse point ever so gently, and this finally gives you the ability to become vocal again.

"Mm, what a weird way to propose..."

He laughs at that, his voice full of mirth and desire.

He pulls back from you, eyes dilated and his chest heaving slightly from the amount of his desire. It feels even better when he knows he deserves none of it.

He traces a finger from your collarbone down to the center of your chest.

"Is that a yes?"

You hum, pretending to think, as if you haven't dreamt of a moment like this your entire life. As if Dazai wasn't the last person you'd ever imagine caring for something so tangible and grand besides death. It excited you, it terrified you. He's scanning your face over and over, trying to anticipate your answer and for once, he can't.

"I don't see a ring."

Dazai pretends to look offended, huffing into a laugh as he keeps his hold on you firm. He grins as he speaks, his finger trailing further down your torso until he can feel your navel through the fabric of your knitted sweater. He pokes it, causing you to jolt.

"I thought I made it pretty clear that I wasn't against getting down on my knees for you. Say yes and these things can be arranged, duh."

He knew the answer before you even opened your mouth, before he even stepped into your apartment. He wouldn't have spent months researching the perfect weather conditions to sit up on your roof and stage a 'casual conversation' with his beloved for you not to be ready to make the big jump with him. The metaphorical one, of course. He hasn't planned something this elaborate since the day he met you and vowed he'd make you fall for him. Even now, hours later as you both lie in your bed he knows you were always for him, undoubtedly so.

Waiting for a revelation proved to be worth it in the end, especially now as he slips the gaudy piece of cheap plastic he got from a vending machine onto your bare ring finger while you sleep soundly at his side. It's shiny and hollow like the epitome of human desire, typical in Dazai fashion. He figures he'll get you a proper ring someday, but for now this will be the beacon of his love for you, a testament that he meant the madness he put you through earlier as your sweet voice repeated a series of pitiful 'yeses' and 'love you's' while he buried all of his doubt and insecurity right into your loving embrace. You handle his misery so well, why wouldn't he want to keep you and hoard your affection for all eternity?

He holds up your limp hand and admires the way the plastic object sits awkwardly on your finger, lopsided and far from what you actually deserve, much like how he is in your life now. He mutters, his voice oozing with pathetic endearment as he places a featherlight kiss onto your knuckle.

"... Till death do us part, cutie."