#i prefer it at like. my collarbone. this is a nightmare

[autisticlaezel]

Finally getting a haircut tomorrow

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ KISS IT BETTER — GETO SUGURU.

contents. post hidden inventory arc, healing suguru agenda !!, fluff + established relationships, suguru has nightmares :(, chest kissies for sugu <3, reader lays on top of him, like very cheesy banter my bad

suguru gets nightmares—it’s expected, but it’s not easy. it breaks your heart—very painfully so—every time he jolts up with frantic eyes and labored breaths.

he tries to shake you off and pretend he’s fine the first few times, but by the time it’s happened enough, he resigns himself to letting you handle things, just like you always do.

it’s easier when you handle things—he’s starting to realize that more.

“another one?” you mumble through a yawn, sitting up and hugging him from behind as your cheek rests on his bare back. he grunts, hunched over with his head in his hands.

“‘s okay,” he says quietly, “you can go back to sleep.”

“we both know i’m not doing that, suguru,” you hum, palm rubbing slow circles into his abs. he sighs, melting into your touch eventually as he leans against you, head falling back to lay on your shoulder.

“sorry,” he whispers, “i didn’t wanna wake you.”

“i wish you would,” you hum, tracing his nose delicately as you kiss the side of his head, “i wish you’d let me help, baby.”

“you already help enough,” he mutters—almost bitterly, you note, “i don’t need to make you lose sleep over it.”

“you’d do the same for me,” you say gently, “wouldn’t you?”

“of course,” he says instantly.

sometimes, suguru is too kind for the world. it tramples him and leaves him curled on the floor under its cruelty. sometimes, he gives too much and forgets to take, to ask, and it’s starting to show. it’s starting to pile up and become too much and you think, just for once, someone should give to suguru too—because he deserves it.

“it’s a two way street, y’know,” you smile against his temple, “wake me up next time. please?”

“you really wanna see me at my lowest, huh?” he tries to crack a joke and dodge the question—but you know suguru, and you know what he needs. sometimes before he knows himself, even.

“everyone needs someone in their lowest, baby,” you mumble, “it helps more than you think.”

it’s silent for a bit. it’s like that more often than not with suguru these days—he’s silent, prefers the quiet and tender moments alone with you when you happen to catch them. he doesn’t have the energy to talk, and you don’t make him, and he’s grateful. he’s grateful when your fingers weave into his hair and your lips find his cheek, when you’re content with laying your head on his chest and just being there as he thinks.

you look down as he lays against you, his back to your chest and his body slotted between your legs, resting in your hold. it’s silent—he doesn’t always want to talk, and you don’t make him.

and he’s grateful.

finally, he breaks the silence first. “i felt it all over again,” he mumbles, “the…on my…”

his hand instinctively covers his chest, and you know what he means—he doesn’t have to finish, doesn’t have to say anything else before you press a tender kiss to his head. suguru doesn’t have scars on his chest. shoko’s reverse cursed technique heals well enough that the scars on his chest don’t remain even a little. it’s almost like it never happened—no proof of the x shaped slashes from blades to his chest.

but suguru can still feel his skin slicing sometimes—in fact, he thinks he can never forget it.

“hmm,” you think out loud, “well, there’s only one remedy for this i’m afraid.”

he looks up and raises a brow, staring at you before you crawl from under him, letting him plop down against the pillows as your body turns to hover over his.

“what are you—”

“mwah,” you press a wet kiss to his chest, starting from his collarbone before continuing in a diagonal line down the rest of his sternum. he can’t help but let his lips slowly widen into a smile with each one, letting out a soft chuckle when you tickle the skin slightly. “i read somewhere that kisses are really good for healing,” you murmur.

“ah yes, your doctorate from webmd is really coming in handy,” he teases, grinning when your lips press against his collarbone once more, on the other side this time as you peck along his chest in another diagonal line. it’s silly, a little pointless even—the wounds have long healed and you can’t even be sure you’re kissing where the scars would be, but suguru seems to brighten considerably with every touch of your lips.

it’s enough.

“well, my handsome patient,” you say cheekily, “did that help?”

“oh yes,” he nods dramatically, “i feel better than ever. thank god i have a gorgeous doctor like you.”

“hmm, i am rather gorgeous,” you brighten, giggling as he pulls you down by the wrist to kiss you softly. his hands are on your cheeks, cupping your face delicately as you hum against his mouth. “better?” you ask pulling away, pecking the corner of his mouth.

he nods, wrapping two strong arms around you as you lay over his body, grinning up at you.

“better,” he assures, “they should let you open up your own clinic. you’d put the hospitals out of business.”

“but suguru,” you gasp, “then i would have to kiss random men—surely you can’t let that happen!”

“you’re right,” he plays along, eyes widening in faux concern, “i can’t. i guess i’ll have to be your only patient.”

you smile at him—it’s radiant enough to clear the dark clouds of his shoulders, gentle enough that he feels the hardened parts of him start to go soft just a little. sometimes, suguru gets nightmares—they’re not easy, but you make them feel a lot less impossible.

it’s enough.

“what a waste of my higher education,” you sigh, “but fine. you’ll be the only one i kiss better.”

“i’m so grateful,” he snorts, pulling the blanket over your bodies as he holds you close.

sleep comes easier that night—and every night after.

i’ve decided to give this lil healing sugu series a tag so it’s: #operation: heal suguru! and you can click the tag below on this post to read the earlier drabbles !!

anyway unseen footage from this moment is that i actually sucked his tiddies as i kissed his chest. bc lord knows he just needed his tiddies sucked and he’d have been 100% happier and fine

[cherhys]

Anything, Always

Rhysand x Reader

Summary: Rhysand has been running himself ragged, and it hasn’t escaped your notice. In an effort to quell old nightmares, Rhysand has an interesting suggestion…

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Mild angst (pining + UTM reminder whoops), Feelings™️

Notes: The longest fic to date! I was working on some Azriel WIPs when this piece just happened. I wanted Rhys to get some well-deserved, utterly devoted, loving. Thank you for all the support so far; it means more than you know! ♡

You noticed that as the week has passed, you’ve seen less and less of Rhys around the townhouse. First, it was less frequented dinners, followed by mornings spent alone. Being High Lord is no easy task, but it’s all the more reason for you to lend a helping hand where possible. Instead, all of your offers have been promptly shut down with a wry smile leaving little room for argument since it's nothing more than I usually deal with, darling. 

His words echo in your head as you approach his office, the ease with which he said them in juxtaposition with the dark circles beneath his eyes. You doubt he’s been sleeping very well; it was no secret that the High Lord preferred staying up in the evenings, but he always reclaimed that sleep the following morning. Recently you’ve observed his absence from the townhouse in favour of training even before Cassian, the earliest morning bird you know. This simply could not go on—he had to take care of himself. A male like him deserved better than that.

The door to his study was closed and after a brief knock, you slowly cracked it open to peer inside. His head didn’t so much as lift from where he was scanning his papers, a crease between his ink-dark eyebrows. The evening light filtered through the windows behind him, casting him in an iridescent glow befitting his title. He had changed into a loose linen shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal solid tan forearms corded with prominent veins. He scrubbed a calloused hand along his uncharacteristically scruffy jaw. The usual sparkle in his jewel-tone eyes was lost to his evident lack of sleep.

Despite this, he was still the most beautiful male you’ve ever beheld. Even feeling ragged, Rhysand was nothing short of magnificent. No amount of stress could take away from his plush lips, the delicate column of his neck, and the elegant sweep of his collarbones leading to the strong planes of his chest. The age-old flutter in your chest surfaced, a delicate thing you had neglected for so long. 

“You can come in, darling.” Finally, those tired eyes lifted to yours where you stood in the doorway. When you don’t move he sweeps a hand towards the cushioned chairs before his rich mahogany desk. You quash any semblance of that flutter until a deep void is all that remains in your chest; a talent you had mastered after all these years.

“I’d say I’m surprised to find my dearest High Lord secluded in his office on a Friday evening, but I made an oath not to lie.” You idle your way in, running your finger along the books on his shelf. You frown at the faint layer of dust over his more loved collections. 

“Well, Friday evening or not, doesn’t my dearest advisor have work to do instead of chatting me up like some girl at Rita’s?” Like a delicate brush stroke, his ebony brow arched. Rhysand’s eyes tracked your approach as you walked around the spacious office, feet padding against the soft carpet. The snack you had brought him earlier remained untouched on his desk, and you clenched your clasped hands behind your back. 

“Girls at bars aren't worth my time, though it wouldn’t hurt for you to try. All you do is hide away here; you’ll have the year-end papers done at this rate.”

He shrugged, nonchalant, “Better to be more prepared than found lacking, no?”

You stopped before his desk and stared, “It’s only springtime Rhysand.” At your unflinching gaze, he sighed.

“I was unimpressed with some of the projections submitted by the Court of Nightmares. Sloppy work.” His jaw worked in time to the pulse in his neck. You nodded, acquiescing as much. As Rhysand’s advisor, you were expressly aware of the substandard documents that Kier had submitted. Despite his abysmal summation of the Court of Nightmare’s projections, Kier could receive a verbal (or literal) lashing later. 

“Rhys, this isn’t an express concern at the moment.” He dropped his head back to his papers, dipping the fountain pen in the inkwell. The sound of your breathing and scratching on parchment permeated the silence. The dismissal was clear, though surprisingly cruel from your usual playful High Lord.

“Rhys, look at me.” Despite your pleading tone, he remained fixed on his writing. In a few swift steps, you rounded the desk. You placed a gentle hand beneath his chin, lifting his face to your searching eyes. Where his silence was defiant, now there is only weariness. 

“Rhysand… what’s wrong honey?” The endearment slips out, but your chest constricts at the sight of the defeated male before you. You miss your charming friend. Your thumb lightly caresses his cheek and his lashes flutter at the sensation. He gives you a wry smile and grips your fingers in his warm hand, “Nothing is wrong. I’m only a little tired.” 

You breathed deeply, willing yourself to remain calm. Rhysand was known to undertake everything by himself, an expression of his love towards his family. While you appreciate the care he tries to show, his selflessness couldn’t happen at the expense of his well-being. This was something different. 

Your silence unnerved the usually unshakeable male, and he seemed to deflate under your scrutiny. So you waited—let him process his thoughts, choose what he wanted to say. 

When his grip tightened on your hand but his silence persisted, you offered an olive branch.

“I have never been able to share my feelings with ease; to feel so much… it is an overwhelming burden. And yet–” You took a steadying breath, hesitant to reveal so much but unable to help him understand otherwise. His expectant gaze was patient, if not encouraging. 

“And yet, unravelling my feelings and sharing them with you is effortless. With you, I know I am safe. That I am understood. Rhysand, I want to be that person for you. You are welcome to share, and I will always be there to listen.”

When you finished, you shifted to perch on the desk space poised between his legs. Rhysand unconsciously moved his chair closer, his head pressing into your jointly entwined hands. He slowly inhaled, the scent of you a balm to his fraying senses. 

“They’re back. She’s back,” Rhys didn’t need to elaborate on who and what for you to catch his meaning. You had known that nightmares plagued him often in the time since his return from Under the Mountain. Years had passed since then but the horrors he endured were not easily forgotten, “I don’t know what to do.”

The defeat in his tone nearly brought tears to your eyes, but you reigned them in—this was his opportunity to be vulnerable and you must remain strong. 

“I think about all of the lives I–... I think about all of it, often. It is never not on my mind, but I can usually move past it. You all help,” At this, he squeezed your palm again, an earnest look in his violet eyes, “But sometimes the guilt–” He loosed a sigh, shaking his head, “It is unbearable.’

Rhysand pulled his hand away from yours, leaving it cold. He stared down at his hands between you both as if all of his sins were still visible. To him, you’re sure they were. 

His voice was lowered to a whisper now, “When I sleep, she taunts me. She stokes that guilt from an ember to a flame and eats away at me. All I can think to do is run myself ragged, in some form of masochistic repenting.”

Rhys glances up at you, his heart dropping when he sees your eyes are closed. Even you couldn’t bear to look at him after what he had done. Clenching his jaw, he begins to pull away and prepares for your imminent disgust. 

He doesn’t expect you to grip his cheeks, and pull him back to you. Rhysand’s eyes are comically large this close, your noses a hair's breadth away from touching. He has never seen your mouth set in such a serious line, your eyes blazing with such fire.

“Listen to me very closely. Everything you did? It was necessary for survival. For yours. For the Night Court’s. For our family’s. It is only normal to feel guilt—that’s what makes you the wonderful, kind male I know.” Your hands pressed almost painfully, as if you could physically push the words into his head, “But you should never regret what you did. Because it brought you back to us.” To me, but you left that part unspoken. 

When he seems to hesitate you reinforce, “Any of us would’ve done it for you. If I could've traded places with you I would have done so in a heartbeat, Rhysand. And it kills me to see you blame yourself. You can repay those you mourn by living your life to the fullest in their honour.”

He regards you for a moment, plush lip pulled tightly between his teeth. Rhysand nods slowly at your searching stare, the sorrow clearing from his eyes like clouds in a bright night sky. Those stars you so love wink back at you from his midnight gaze. 

Unable to help yourself, you swoop him up into your tight embrace. Rhys’s strong arms wrap around you in no time, his head at your breast. He can hear the rapid but sure beating of your heart and it brings him a peace that he hasn’t felt since the nightmares returned. 

“Thank you.” His soft words lift your heart and you place a swift kiss on the top of his head. 

“Always.” 

You stroke his raven hair in soothing motions, running your nails lightly along his scalp. Rhys visibly relaxes in your hold, his shoulders slumping with a weight unloaded. You dare to enjoy the moment, knowing that the likes of these are few and far between; you seldom let yourself get this close, the ache in your heart too much.

Finally, you pull away, a determined look on your face, “How can I help you, Rhys?”

His face softened, and he let out a light chuckle, “I doubt you can, darling. This is just one of those things.”

“It most certainly will not be one of those things. There has to be something; maybe if we help you relax? A sleeping draught?”

He winced at that, “No sleeping draughts, preferably. I’m not fond of drugging myself.”

You scratched your chin, “No, that doesn’t seem sustainable long term.”

While you brainstormed ideas to help the male before you, Rhys glanced at you through thick lashes. He had begun to fiddle with the fountain pen, twisting the top, “I think I may have a suggestion.”

You snapped out of your thoughts, “Already? What is it?” A beaming smile stretched across your face—anything. You would do anything to help him. 

He locked his eyes on yours, voice level, “Sleep with me.”

You blinked, unmoving. You stared at him a few seconds longer, the words failing to process. You’re sure you must have stopped breathing, the thumping of your heart overwhelming your senses.

Sleep with me. 

A nervous laugh bubbled out of you, “I’m sorry? ‘Sleep with you’?”

A million thoughts were spinning in your head, each faster than the last. Slick skin on skin; hands fisted in sheets, in hair, scratching down a tan, tatted back; clothes haphazardly strewn around the room; pleasurable pants filling the air. You shook your head. Surely you had misheard? Misunderstood? 

A cocky smile spread across Rhysand’s face, although the dusting of pink crawling up his neck isn't lost on you.

What dirty thoughts are you thinking, darling? That midnight voice lightly caressed your mental shields. 

Your cheeks were flaming if the heat under your skin was anything to go by. You persevered and pursed your lips in mock irritation. You would not be undone by his aimless teasing after all these years. 

Nothing that would involve the likes of you, the thought pushed right back at his adamantine mental shield. 

Rhysands thick lashes lowered, his bottom lip jutting slightly. You wondered what those plush lips would taste like. Although you knew he was playing at seducing you, it didn’t stop the primal need in you from rearing its ugly head. 

Would it truly be so bad with me, darling? You know I’d treat you well.

Your lashes fluttered; this had to stop before your heart wilted any further in your chest. 

“What is your real suggestion Rhys?” The serious cock of your brows sobered him up near immediately. The twinge in his chest only further cooled him; the way you brushed his teasing off irritated him for reasons beyond what he dared admit. 

“It is my real suggestion. I struggle with my sleep—therefore having you there will help.” The cool way he spoke, as if this was only a logical solution, helped to put you at ease. But you couldn’t help but wonder—

“Why me? How would I help?” 

He shrugged, “You seem peaceful.”

Your mind whirred at his laconic response. ‘Peaceful’? You couldn’t decide what to make of the situation, but one thing had always been clear. 

“I said I’d help you, however I could. If you believe me… sleeping beside you will be beneficial, then I’ll do it.” 

He nodded, the same calm look plastered on his face. Rhysand’s nonchalant manner bothered you: did this genuinely mean so little to him? If so, then you would treat it with the same aloof, professional fashion. 

“Alright then, we can try tonight if you’re willing?” 

His ink-dark eyebrows shot up, “You wish to begin right away?”

“The sooner the better, no?” You couldn’t allow any more sleepless nights; the faster you determined whether this would work, the more time you had to find different options before Rhys ran on empty. 

Rhysand’s head tilted, a panther sizing up its prey. Finally, he nodded in agreeance. 

Quickly, you stood from his desk, realizing you were still perched between his legs. You dusted off your skirts and swiftly moved to the door. With a hand on the frame, you turned, “Tonight in yours?”

He swallowed, your eyes tracking the bobbing of his Adam's apple along his smooth neck, “Yes, that’ll work just fine darling.”

You stepped away from his office, the final, sure look in Rhysand’s eyes burning through you even hours later. 

♡𝌀𝌀𝌀♥𝌀𝌀𝌀♡

You nervously tugged on your silken sleep shorts, psyching yourself up to knock on Rhysand’s bedroom door.

After leaving his office earlier, your heart had been in your throat all day. Even at dinner in the House of Wind, you’d had to be snapped out of thought multiple times by members of your family. While circumventing the reason why you had been so inattentive, your friends spared no insult and pestered you to high hell. Your face had flushed, sure that Rhysand could pick up on your nervousness. Instead, there were no teasing comments; he only returned to his meal. 

Now before his room, you took a steadying breath and lightly knocked, in the unlikely event he had fallen asleep. At his faint call you entered, softly shutting the door behind you. The room was aptly decorated for a High Lord. Rich jewel tones complimented Night Court black in various opulent fabrics. Pointedly ignoring the massive bed, you took in the polished mahogany furniture, surely crafted by a masterful hand. From the intricately designed rugs, to the velvet cushions, and the elaborate drapery; it was all magnificent. However, it all paled in comparison to the male inhabiting the room. 

Rhys was lounging on a plush divan, drink and papers in hand, looking fresh from the finest of paintings. The loose shirt from earlier was gone, baring his muscled chest. Your eyes tracked along the elegant dark swirls that decorated his tan skin. A pair of black sleep pants adorned his lower body, looking dangerously low on his waist. As you gently padded over, you tried not to focus on the light smattering of dark hair leading below the band. He glanced up at you, violet eyes sparkling like the stars visible through the windows beyond him. 

His eyes slowly roved over your figure, noting your bare legs; how you clutched your cream robe, book in hand, a delicate lacy strap peeking out. He took a restrained sip of his amber drink. You settled on a comfortable settee across from him, the book already splayed across your lap. 

“Good evening, darling. Care for a drink?” He waved his glass lightly, the ice clinking softly. 

You chuckled, shaking your head, “I’m alright, thank you. Is it not a little late to indulge?”

He inspected his drink as if he might find the solution to all his problems within the crystal glass, “I find it soothes the nerves.”

You cocked an eyebrow, “Are you nervous?”

Rhys lifted the drink to his mouth, only to gaze at you over the rim with heavy-lidded eyes, “With you? Always, darling. I mean—you simply strike such an imposing figure.”

You dramatically placed the back of your hand to your head, draping yourself over the settee with all the theatrics you could muster, “Oh, how I plague man with my beauty!”

A deep and joyous laugh broke the silence of the night. You glanced over at Rhysand in slight surprise to see his head thrown back, a hand to his chest. Your heart warmed at the clear mirth on his face. This was the Rhysand you had missed. You soon joined him, your laugh bubbling up with the vigour of a freshly opened champagne bottle. 

Gradually, you both settled into silence, and with a wink from Rhys, you both returned to your previous occupations. The cool breeze from the open window carried with it Rhysand’s citrus and sea smell, the faint note of jasmine like a goodnight’s kiss. You basked in the peaceful mood, snuggling closer to the settee with your book. You couldn’t help but look up at Rhys every few pages, taking in his striking profile as the ambient lighting cast shadows across his elegant features. Eventually, you noticed his eyelids beginning to droop and knew he was only stalling the inevitable. 

You yawned loudly, covering your mouth for effect, “I think it’s time we retire for the night.”

He smiled, gently placing his empty glass and papers aside, “I agree, darling. Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.”

Rhysand stood and stretched his arms over his head, and you quickly made your way over to his bed, refusing to stare any longer at his chest than necessary. You shed your robe and tossed it over a nearby chair while you both silently readied yourselves for bed. No longer was the silence comforting—instead, your heart threatened to burst from your chest. 

You didn't realize how stiff you were until Rhys settled under the covers beside you, the shroud of night concealing your reddened cheeks. You remained rigid, arms at your side like a soldier at attention. 

It’s only me, darling. The smooth voice slipped through the cracks of your mind. Rhysand’s low timber reminded you to take a deep breath—you turned towards him and lightly reached your hand out in the space between your pillows. Even in the stygian dark, his eyes shone brighter than ever. That midnight gaze fixed on your open palm. Slowly, he crept his large hand up and brought it to yours, strong fingers caressing your palm. You held your breath as he steadily entwined his fingers with yours, hand sliding across your own. You squeezed lightly in assurance, your eyes falling shut. 

Before the throes of sleep could claim you, a gentle caress to your conscience pulled you back. 

Can I hold you?

The whispered request was nearly lost in the haze between waking and dreams, but you would always come back for that voice. Beyond words, you pushed your consent to Rhysand’s mind.

Strong arms gently slid around you, pulling your back to a hard chest. Your synced breathing within that warm embrace finally lulled you to a peaceful sleep. 

♡𝌀𝌀𝌀♥𝌀𝌀𝌀♡

Light filtering through the window assaults your eyes, bringing with it the realities of the morning. You stretch like a cat in the sun, silken sheets sliding across your bare legs. You hadn’t slept like that in years, Cauldron, centuries even. The sweet haze lingering from your sleep washed away once you noticed the empty—albeit still warm—bedside. You quickly sat up only to be interrupted by Rhysand waltzing in through the doors, breakfast in hand. 

“Good morning, darling. I hope you’re hungry—I’m loving the bedhead by the way.” He swooped over to the bed, deftly handling the large tray in hand as he settled back beside you. You swiftly patted your hair down, “Yes, good morning Rhysand.”

Your dry tone didn’t damper Rhys’s wide smirk one bit. He was glowing this morning with an air of contentment; the full night's sleep had done him well. 

He gestured to the amalgamation of various foods before you, “I wasn’t sure what you would be craving, so I grabbed a little bit of everything.” The delicious smell wafted before you, your stomach grumbling without consent.

“If this is how I’m treated, I don’t think I’ll ever leave.” You popped a berry into your mouth, relishing its succulent flavour. 

“Consider it a thank you,” You paused, buttered toast halfway to your mouth, at Rhysand’s words, “For giving me, perhaps, the best sleep I have had in my five centuries.”

The earnest look in his eyes prompted you to butter your toast more vigorously, hoping he would miss the rosy flush seeping across your features.

“For what it’s worth, I’ve never slept better either,” You smiled gently, hoping to not sound too heartfelt in your admission, “And there is no reason to thank me, Rhys. You know I’d do anything for you.”

You held your breath at the candid confession, praying he did not understand the real meaning behind your words. 

Instead, his chest swelled with emotion. He brought his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a swift kiss to your hair. 

“All the more reason for me to thank you, darling.”

♡𝌀𝌀𝌀♥𝌀𝌀𝌀♡

The next few weeks continued much like that night; you would both lounge around in the evening and then retire to bed. Only, your inclination towards one another had become irresistible. The moment you got beneath the covers, you found yourself instinctually reaching for Rhysand’s embrace. Often, he held you close, your head poised at his soft neck. Occasionally, on the more difficult nights, you would swaddle Rhys tightly to your chest, caressing his hair as he was lulled to sleep by your steady heartbeat. 

However much you enjoyed your time in bed with Rhysand, you couldn’t deny the increasing difficulty with which to hide your escalating feelings. What were once mere fleeting glances, were now lingering stares; no dark circles were to be found on his handsome face, his beaming grin a drug that would surely consume you. Rather than have the moments together soothe your ache like a balm, you only craved his attention more so. 

As you both fell into your usual routine for the night and settled under the covers, you finally ripped the bandage from the festering wound. 

“I think I may sleep in my bed beginning tomorrow night.”

Rhysand’s body froze beneath your touch, his arms still only half around you. Quickly, you continued, “Your nightmares seem to have passed—which I am eternally grateful for—therefore I don’t see any reason why I should continue to sleep here.” With you, the words didn’t need to be spoken; they loomed in the air around you. 

A beat of silence passed before he spoke, “Why not?”

You gasped as he seized you closer to his chest. His breath was heaving while he squeezed you tighter in his arms. You quashed the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach, reluctant to hurt your feelings further. 

You sighed, eyes closing, “Again, there is no reason–”

“I want you here. With me. That is the reason why you should stay.” 

You audibly swallowed, taking his words with a grain of salt. Your voice took on a placating tone as you lightly placed your palms on his chest, “I understand that you’re worried about the nightmares–”

“Darling, you understand nothing,” You stared, dumbfounded at his earnest tone. 

“The agony of lost sleep pales in comparison to the loss of your presence. There is nothing more that I desire than having you here next to me as I fall asleep and as I wake. Seeing your radiant face every morning—I feel like the luckiest male in the world. And I am greedy; for your touch, your time…” He shook his head, putting his forehead to yours, “I know I am asking much of you since—”

You surged forward and placed a passionate kiss on his lips. His lashes fluttered before he was pushing back with just as much fervour. You pressed your body tighter against his, feeling the contours of his body moulding perfectly to your own. You wanted him closer—had you been one body right now, it would not have been enough. He thought he was greedy? He had no concept of the depth of your selfish desires, only scraping the surface with this ardent kiss. 

You pulled back, breathless and entirely at his mercy, “You could ask for all the stars in the night sky and I would scorch my hands to deliver them to you,” He brushed his nose against your own, your swollen lips lightly caressing, “There is no limit to what I can give you Rhysand, if only you’ll let me.”

His violet eyes shone with disbelieving wonder as if he was undeserving of your affections. Rhys kissed you gently; this kiss held a promise that the others lacked. It was a promise of love, of reverence, of total, utter devotion. Your heart soared in your chest and for once, you let it; a caged bird finally tasting freedom. 

That same gentle presence filled your mind once again. 

I would be honoured, darling. 

The message was bundled in the gossamer enormity of his feelings for you. With your heart content, you whispered under the cover of silky night, 

“The honour will always be mine.”

Final Notes: Anything for my bbg Rhys <3 (Can you tell I recently rewatched Pride and Prejudice for the millionth time?) Hope you all liked it!

[freddycartr]

headcanons about kaider that i think are really fucking beautiful:

• kai loves to surprise cinder. with coffee in bed, or with broken shit (like a med-droid) for her to fix

• cinder calls kai affectionately, “my husband and my love,” but only when they are alone

• kai calls cinder “my moon and every star in the sky” but only when they are alone

• kai loves to call her his wife constantly or his empress

• cinder still works as a mechanic while being empress

• cinder loves to wear kai’s clothes and kai always smiles when he sees her wearing them

• kai is a light sleeper, so whenever cinder gets woken by a nightmare, kai always is there to wrap his arms around her and pull her to him. she falls asleep in his arms soundlessly

• they sometimes stay up late, talking about their life. there is a lot of kissing that is involved

• kai loves to help cinder get dressed and vice versa. it’s a way he shows his affection to her and gratitude that she accepted to be his empress. he always makes sure that her crown is straight, after they dress each other, he presses a kiss to her forehead.

• cinder doesn’t wear dresses to balls. i will die on this hill. cinder does not wear dresses ever. it is shown so many times that she is not comfortable in dresses and prefers pants like at the end of winter it’s stated explicitly, “do i have to wear a dress? i don't care if you wear military boots and cargo pants. i just might. good.” i feel like kai and iko would help design cinder outfits that she would be comfortable in and most of her clothes would be in the eastern commonwealth style

• after long days being the emperor and empress of the eastern commonwealth, they love to sit on the floor and talk

• kai loves to rub cinders feet and cinder rubs his shoulders after long days

• they are almost always touching each other and they have a quiet intimacy that is so fucking beautiful

• cinder is always aware of kai’s moods when it’s the anniversary of his mother and fathers death. she has him cancel his duties and spend the day doing whatever he wants in order to have him grieve yet celebrate their lives. he says to her “you are my family, my love.” pressing a kiss to her hand

• cinder loves to be kissed on the neck, and kai always obliges this want. often. whenever he can, he presses his lips to her neck

• they are always side by side when in meetings, and they treat each others as equals

• kai is very defensive when people begin asking about heirs. he literally loses his shit with the paparazzi. he waits until cinder is ready and tells her that they don’t have to have a child if she doesn’t want to

• kai loves to kiss cinder (and vice versa) whenever and wherever. in their room, the throne room, or against walls. always making sure it is okay with her first. they are really fucking in love and they kiss often, not caring who is watching.

• kai and cinder always (and i fucking mean always) ask for consent either verbally or non verbally for kissing, touching and sex

• cinder loves to sit on kai’s lap while they read documents together + curl and run her fingers in his hair (she literally does this when they dance)

• they have a favorite make out spot(s) and torin and iko are constantly trying to find them (but, hey, it’s a big palace) and sometimes they just walk away when they find them

• they always ask for consent before they kiss or have sex or before touching one another. i don’t care how long they’ve been married or together, they always ask for consent before doing anything and they wait for the other to say yes before they do it

• when they take showers together, kai loves to run his fingers in cinders hair help her with shampoo and conditioner. they almost always end up kissing while they’re together and cinder loves to kiss his collarbone and neck, it leaves kai breathless

• kai always kisses her control panel on her neck, it’s the first thing he does when he sees it for the first time

• cinder always loses her breath when she sees kai shirtless. like every. fucking. time.

• kai loves to place his hand on cinders waist and cinder loves the feel of his body against her while in bed

• whenever they don’t have morning meetings, they make good use of the time

• kai is always physically present with cinder, always a hand at her back or waist. or the brush a of a knee under the table, his fingers on her thigh. a brush of his lips on her neck or shoulder while she dresses, or a long kiss in bed when they first wake up. his brow rested on hers. he knows the neglect that she endured at hands of adri and that she never received love or comfort, so he makes sure that she is constantly being looked after including making she she’s had food

• sleepy kai is cinders favorite but thinks he is hot as hell when he is dressed in traditional eastern commonwealth clothes

• they say ‘i love you’ and kiss each other until they are breathless often

• years down the line, their love is still as strong as when they first met

• whenever one of them has to leave the palace, the bed always feels empty without them in it

[notbadforafailedvessel]

Alcina/Neko!Reader - Part I

Part II

Neko.- In Japanese manga/anime, a part human, part cat; Nekos usually are human in appearance, but have cat ears and a tail, and in some occasions paws, as well as exhibiting cat-like behaviour.

A/N.- I don't even know. The image came to my mind and you know how it is, you have to write it down to be able to think about other things. My plans were to write all the points in just one post but this was ending up too long that I decided it was better to cut it in two.

Alcina sees you before you are aware of her presence, which is not surprising since you are running away from a moroaică.

Normally, she would enjoy the show ─ there's nothing more pleasing than witnessing a person getting what they deserve after invading her territory ─ but almost immediately she noticed something different about you, which peaks her curiosity.

She walks unhurriedly through the opposite path you had headed, knowing that you'd end there in a matter of minutes.

And it doesn't take long for Alcina to see the moroaică striking your side with the sword, making you whimper and trip over your own feet, sending you to the floor.

With a hand covering your wound, you turn around to see the monster raising its arm, ready to give the last blow.

You look at it with fear, knowing there's no way you could get out of this. If it hadn't been possible when your nimbleness was to its max, now that it was impaired due to your injury, everything seemed hopeless.

You closed your eyes, as if that could somehow help you to avoid the pain. But when you listened a slashing sound and gurgling coming from your nightmare, you couldn't keep your curiosity at bay, opening one eye.

You saw the monster hovering on the air thanks to what it seemed to be a few blades piercing its chest. Your other eye fluttered open as both widened in shock.

You could tell there was someone behind, who was the reason of such image, but you couldn't distinguish their features because the body was hiding their face. You could only perceive a black hat and an off-white dress, and you weren't sure if it was due to your perspective from the floor or if the person was really tall.

Just when your savior decided to lower the corpse to reveal themselves, your eyesight blurred because of the blood loss. You can only whine before everything turns black.

When you come back to your senses, the first thing you are aware of it's your purring and the next one, the reason of it: someone was scratching behind your ear. A goofy smile curls your lips.

"You are finally awake."

Your eyes flutter open as you hurry to sit on the bed you were resting, your body tense, your flight instincts kicking in. You are ready to bolt out when a hand, big enough to cover your shoulder and collarbone, stops you ─ using the strength enough to convey the message that escaping is futile.

"My, my, my. Is this how you reward your savior?"

You expect to feel the apprehension you had been experiencing since arriving to the town when you turn your attention towards the voice but when your eyes find a very intimidating and oh so extremely gorgeous woman sitting next to you on the edge of the bed, you oddly feel at ease despite the amused smile she wears.

"I-I apologize, my lady." You clear your throat. "I have been attacked or hunted since I set foot in this town. It was instinctively."

"Not surprising, you seem to be pretty unique." Her eyes move to your ears, and now that you are certain you are not in immediate danger, you are aware that she's still scratching your ear.

Alcina smiles fondly when you start purring again, your eyes closing in pleasure.

She doesn't asks you what you are, she's not interested in that. After all she used to creatures that are different. But she's curious about one thing. "How did you arrive to the village?"

You open your eyes lazily to look at her, somehow knowing that she preferred the eye contact during a conversation. "In an attempt to escape from my previous life. I trusted the wrong person and I ended up living in a lab for months." You lower your gaze to your lap, placing your tail on it so you can fidget with it. "I-I," your voice cracks, your purring coming to a halt.

Alcina sees your hands turning into paws, kneading the fluffiest part of your tail. If it wasn't because she witnessed the transformation, she would have thought you pulled some furry gloves out of somewhere. "There's nothing you could tell me that will change my opinion of you."

Bashfully, you look up at her. "What opinion is that, my lady?"

"That you are incredibly endearing, and if you had to resort into some sort of violence it was most likely necessary but also part of your nature since you are half of an animal that is savage despite their domestication."

You stay silent for a moment, pondering her words. "I did have to hurt people to escape, and I never confirmed if they were still alive or not," you finally whisper.

Alcina hums. "And the person responsible for everything?"

You shrug. "That's why I decided to leave, I knew they would come looking for me and make it even worse."

"Clever little thing." She smirks. "Now, let's heal your wound, okay?" You had forgotten about it, but now that she mentioned it, you can feel your side throbbing painfully. "Unless you have healing abilities."

You shake your head no. "I heal faster than a human, but I can't heal right after the wound happened, I need a few days." Alcina doesn't answer, she stands up and heads towards a door.

Waiting for her to come back, you recall the events of the day, unsure what will be your next step.

You weren't stupid, you knew that your saviour was not human. She might've not showed anything out of the ordinary beyond her impressive size but after what you had seen, it wasn't hard to reach that conclusion.

Nevertheless, you didn't feel threatened in her presence, you didn't feel the need to run away from her now that you had spent some time with her.

"Lift your shirt."

You jump on your spot, completely taken aback by her return, your ears entirely missing any sound. Still, you don't waste time doing what she asked for while she sits down again in the place she had vacated, your paws turning back to hands to keep the garment in place.

Alcina could have called a maid to aid you, but selfishly she didn't want to share you with anyone else.

Her pupils dilated at the sight of the blood but fortunetely for you, she could control herself. Perhaps later she could convince you to willingly allow her to drink your blood, as a thanks for her compassion.

You hiss when she starts cleaning your wound, having to hold back with all your mighty your first reaction of scratching the one responsible of your discomfort.

In an attempt to distract you, you focus on her hands, big enough to cover your entire torso with one of them but which are nothing but gentle in their way to cure you. "What was that thing that attacked me?"

"Mmm, failed experiments that now work as protectors of the castle."

You nodded as if you had any idea of what she was talking about. "And piercing their heart with some swords is enough to kill them?"

"Swords?" She raises an eyebrow.

You tilt your head to the side. "Wasn't that what you used?"

There's a pregnant silence before she chuckles. "I will show you mine if you show me yours," she purred.

When you look at her with confusion, Alcina pauses her task but keeps her hand on your body, careful to not irritate your wound any further. She lifts the other one for you to see and once you rest you eyesight on it, she grows her claws slowly.

You gasp in surprise, your eyes widening as they keep going until they reach their limit. "Mine aren't that big." There's wonder in your voice.

"Show me," she reminds you.

You eagerly do it, excited to have found someone who was different like you and with whom you could communicate instead of having to run away to save yourself.

Your claws are tiny compared to hers, but Alcina (who by now had retracted hers) touches them with her index finger, analyzing. "But they can be just as deadly." She smiles enticingly.

You feel herself blushing at the... compliment? And you can't stop the timid smile that appears in your lips.

"As you can see, you definitely came to the right place. Over here, there are some pretty unique beings." She goes back to the interrumpted task. "You had a harsh start, but that was because you hadn't come across with the right person."

"And have I now?" you wondered, coyly, looking at her as if you had found a treasure.

Alcina doesn't stops what she's doing but she takes a moment to look at you as she grins in a way that could make anyone shrink. "I think I'm going to keep you... my pet."

[mahi-wayy]

Headcanons for Vallavarayan Vandiyadevan

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 | 𝑽𝑨𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑽𝑨𝑹𝒀𝑨𝑵 𝑽𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑰𝒀𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑽𝑨𝑵

• General • Romantic [both sfw and nsfw]

A/n : my PS content is purely based on the movies. I am yet to find the emotional strength in me to read the books.

I - GENERAL

my babygirl 🥹🫶🏼

human sunshine.

he has some degree of adhd.

the innocent streak makes him a slow on few things.

fiercely loyal to people he admires even if they don't know about his existence.

grew up in a women dominated house. like the majority people and the deciding power were females.

understands a lot from just observing a person.

wanted to join aditha from day one but was held back for some reasons.

his sunshine nature faded alittle after the events of the movie.

especially after he saw his admired warrior, a dear friend and the daring prince of cholas dead.

had his doubts about aditha's depression but never spoke up.

instead developed a habit of following the prince wherever he can to make sure nothing happens.

also had a weird feeling about nandhini when they talked but brushed it away.

the first time he saw kundhavai as a teenager he was so lost in it he fell down the steps of the temple and injured his shoulder.

the scar on his left bicep, the small one? that's from one of his sparring with arulmozhi.

it took him hours to convince the prince he was okay and it was fine.

was very aware of vanathi pinning after his friend.

he falls asleep relatively easily then other soldier.

OF COURSE has trauma from wars he has fought in.

very sensitive. baby cries easily.

a better emotional capacity and understanding then average males.

adores the royal family like his own.

great swordsman we all know but he is also a very good archer. he prefers stabbing people though.

enjoys dancing and singing.

the first one to start partying when a battle is won and also the first one to start diverting attention or tending to people when it's lost.

he and arulmozhi are actually trained to compliment each other in battlefield.

he heals faster then average soldier.

he is a great cook though leaves the kitchen messy.

likes his food spicy.

has a habit of speaking in one breathe when he is panicking or excited.

kundhavai is the only one who gets him others usually chuckle and tell him to breathe and repeat himself.

has constant nightmares post movie events.

can be often found sitting by a river or lake and lost in his thoughts.

II - ROMANTIC

SFW

puppy energy follows his lover around.

can't bring himself to make the first move because he feels like he will end up embarrassing himself.

hand made stuff as gifts.

teaches them archery and sword fighting.

writes to them when he is participating in a war.

cooks for them.

NSFW

he is a sub we all know.

whimpers and groans with a occasional loud ass moan.

has a degradation kink.

cries during sex.

loves the pain of overstimulation.

sensitive around his collarbone and thighs.

-------

tags : @mayakimayahai @warnermeadowsgirl @vijayasena @voidsteffy @jkdaddy01 @rambheem-is-real @allari-ammayi @mellaga-karagani @ulaganayagi @ahamasmiyodhah @ranisingsnew @myvarya @toomanyfanficsbruh @harinishivaa

[natasha-in-space]

Mystic Messenger cuddling headcanons

The whole gang's here! I wanted to do this for a while now, and it was super fun to write out my thoughts on each of them in detail ^^

Yoosung

He has no particular preference when it comes to being the big spoon or the little spoon. It all depends on your mood when you two finally collapse into each other's arms at the end of the day. Whoever needs more comfort will get it! When it comes to his favorite position though, he definitely has a huge weakness for cuddling while facing each other and sharing long meaningful conversations for hours on end. His grip on you is not too strong or too weak - it's the perfect balance to make you feel safe and loved within his arms. Yoosung is prone to light snoring if he's in a very deep sleep, but it barely bothers you. You even find it cute! And you definitely did not record your boyfriend's snoring on more than one occasion- He's not picky and can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. Being a college student has taught him the importance of getting enough sleep, and he has no problems in doing that, aside from getting too immersed in his hobbies throughout the evening. Still, he has you to always remind him when he's getting too carried away, and cuddles with you will always be far more enjoyable than any tasks keeping him away.

Zen

He's mostly the big spoon because he really enjoys providing you with a feeling of safety and comfort you might need. Having you happily snuggled up inside his arms makes him feel so happy and content at the end of the day, and your cuddles are something that he definitely looks forward to throughout his exhausting rehearsals. His favorite position would be him happily napping on his back with a moisturizing mask plastered on his face, while you are laying sprawled out on his chest with your cheek pressed up against his collarbone. You're like a living weighed blanket, only ten times better because of how cute you are! Zen's ideal bed would consist of one thick blanket and a shared pillow. Though, he's not a picky guy at all, and if you have other preferences, he's more than willing to work it out with you as you go.

Jaehee

Deep down, she's actually a huge softie, and when it comes to cuddling? Yeah, she's definitely a little spoon. It takes her a while to get comfortable enough with her feelings toward you, since she never actually felt this connected to someone throughout her lifetime. She can still get just a tiny bit flustered whenever you hold her in your arms, so she'll press her face into your chest and hope that you won't hear just how fast her heart is beating right now. It's adorable, really. Jaehee has struggled with sleep for so long, and she'll make sure to let you know of every possible problem that could arise from you two sharing a bed. She may or may not overanalyze the tiniest of inconveniences in the process, but with your encouragement, you two will quickly figure everything out. She has nightmares occasionally, however, you'll never know about them, unless you're someone who is a very light sleeper. The only signs of Jaehee having a nightmare is her suddenly jolting awake in the middle of the night with quick shallow breaths escaping past her lips. She would never try and disturb your sleep because of her own troubles, but she might get out of bed to make herself a relaxing cup of tea if the nightmare was especially stressful. If you do wake up and ask her about it, she won't try to hide anything from you. She trusts you enough to share her unpleasant experiences and rely on you in times of need. She just needs a little nudge from time to time.

Jumin

Jumin can and will go both ways when it comes to cuddling. Being the big spoon? He adores the feeling of having you nestled up all comfortable in his arms. Being the little spoon? He never knew just how nice it is to have someone lovingly stroke your cheeks and kiss your forehead at the end of the day. He has no particular preference in that regard. Just being close to you is more than enough to please this man's soft heart. The thing he absolutely adores though, is the feeling of your legs crossed over each other. It's like you become one living being, and there's nothing more magical and comforting than that. Jumin will read you to bed every once in a while! This may come as a surprise to you, but he really likes to read and analyze classic fairytales. The process of reading something aloud relaxes him, and the sound of his voice lulls you to sleep. It's the perfect compromise. If you'd like it, he would love to start a book club of sorts with you. You'll compile a list of books you'd like to read, and he will gradually go through them all as the days go by. Reading is not a race, and sharing something like this with his loved one makes him really happy. Jumin is a huge softie when it comes to you, so expect lots of gentle touches and tender kisses both when you're falling asleep and waking up the next morning. Elizabeth does get a bit jealous from time to time, but she quickly calms down once you lay her down on the bed with you two and give her the attention she deserves. It's a small family of three, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Saeyoung

Saeyoung mostly plays the role of the big spoon in your relationship, but there are occasional exceptions to that. He's a very affectionate guy, so it's not a surprise at all that he simply adores cuddling in all its forms. He's very similar to a needy cat in that regard. Sprawling out on your lap while you're trying to get some work done and he wants some attention from you? Been there, done that. Randomly hugging you from behind and staying like that for like half an hour waddling after you, as you go through your tasks? Well, he does that almost every day. Having you sit on his lap while he tinkers away at his new toys? Be prepared for some neck kisses and sweet nothings being whispered into your ears, because he loves seeing you blush and squirm at his antics. Still, this totally goes both ways for you two, so it's not an unusual sight to see him flushing as red as a ripe tomato at something you've said or done. You two are a silly couple who love each other to the moon and back, and everyone can see that clear as day. Saeyoung likes to hold you close as you lay on the bed facing each other. It's not rare for you two to talk for hours on end, bouncing from one topic to the next. When it comes to sleeping itself, he's not picky at all, but he prefers it when he can get two pillows and a light blanket to cover himself with. If you need a thick one, you two might need to look into getting two blankets for each of you, because he will sweat like crazy, especially with you nestled up next to him. This man is naturally very warm, so don't overheat him too much!

Jihyun

This man is a little spoon through and through. He needs to be held and kissed till he absolutely melts into your embrace. His touch is so incredibly gentle, sometimes it's hard to tell that he's even there, which amazes you up to this day. Jihyun is not used to being held and pampered, so it's a work in progress with him. It doesn't mean that he does not like your affections - quite the opposite, actually - but he can get overwhelmed sometimes and not know what to do for a minute or two. He's never even been hugged properly, so cuddling? It's a huge step, especially when it comes to him receiving the affection, rather than the other way around. He's so used to being the giver in his other relationships, that it's hard to allow himself to be the receiver this time around. Good and healthy communication is key, and he's more than willing to work on himself, both for your and his own happiness! Still, he suffers from nightmares quite often. His many regrets in life can weigh heavy on his shoulders even as many years pass you by, and sometimes, they follow him into his dreams as well. He may wake up gasping for air, anxiously looking over his body, only to tell you a while later, that he had a nightmare of the very fire that killed his mother. Or, he might call out someone's name in pure desperation and anguish, as his hand reaches forward to stop someone he can't see. He feels very bad whenever he wakes you because of his own troubles, but having you near him brings him so much peace, that it's practically impossible to push you away. Instead, you two go out for a short walk in the park, enjoying the quiet beauty of nature around you, and finding comfort in your hands, tightly laced together as you walk.

Ray

He wants to be the big spoon for you, but deep down? He's definitely the little spoon, no doubt about that. It's hard to get him to fall asleep next to you, but once you manage to convince him to do it... the longing to do that again will keep gnawing at him ever since. Ray is extremely nervous that he'll mess something up, so it'll be better for you to coax him throughout the process the first time around. Make sure to reassure him that he's not doing anything wrong! As long as you keep smiling at him and babbling away with no care in the world, he will gradually relax. You'll even notice him smiling softly in the corners of your eyes, because he finds you so incredibly adorable as you talk about this and that. He's way too embarrassed to admit it, but his all-time favorite position would be to lay there facing each other, with your arms gently wrapped around his torso to keep him safe and sound beside you. Especially when you eventually fall asleep and he can admire your beauty up close without any fear of you finding him staring this intently weird or unpleasant. He may or may not kiss your cheek while you're snoozing away. The other thing he loves is doing your hair before you go to bed. If you have long or medium-length hair? He'll brush it and braid it for you. You have short hair? He will make sure to put on any hair care products you use and give your hair a quick brush. His fingers are trained to take good care of his Saviour's hair, so you definitely don't have to worry about him pulling on your hair or messing something up. He'll even research your hair type in his free time, to make sure you get the best care possible! Whenever he's not having nightmares, he looks so incredibly peaceful and almost childlike in his sleep, it makes you wish you'd do this more often for him. His breathing is so light, you kinda get scared whether he's breathing or not, however silly this may sound. Ray is similar to a cat in a very deep sleep in that regard.

Suit Saeran

Uhhh... That's a hard one to crack for sure. This Saeran really needs to get held and pampered, but he'll rather break up into atoms than admit it outright. There are really only two scenarios when you'll get lucky enough to cuddle with him. The first one is if you've done it with Ray before. Saeran can and probably will try to 'replicate' the experience to toy with you and ridicule Ray's childish desires. So, that's how you will find yourself laying in your bed with your face pressed up against his chest. You will not get the privilege of seeing his face, and that is definitely not because of how warm his cheeks got from being this close to you. It's an awkward and confusing experience for both of you. Saeran is genuinely doing his best to keep up the act of total indifference, but he fails miserably, to his utter dismay and confusion. His hands are trembling as he tugs at your clothes, his voice sounds way too gruff and shaky for his liking, and his heart is beating so fast it's embarrassing. He does try to convince both you and himself, that it is because of disgust, but... it's not very convincing. Best case scenario: he'll eventually leave you laying on the bed in a hurry, and you won't hear from him for a few hours. Worst case scenario: you say something he really doesn't like, and that sets him off. He'll shove you off and scream at you for being so frustrating, for acting so arrogant, for messing with his head. He'll slam the door shut, and you'll hear his heavy footsteps slowly getting further away. Second scenario: you'll coax him to lay with you after his apology. He'll be very reluctant to do so at first, but if you'll gently squeeze his hand and reassure him that you do genuinely want him to stay with you, he just might cave into your request. He'll be extremely skittish and surprisingly tender with you this time around, and you will have to be the one initiating the contact. He's just afraid of hurting you again. This form of intimacy is so incredibly foreign to him, and it's hard to imagine that these hands of his can be the source of comfort to somebody in this way. You'll lay there, facing each other and gazing into each other's eyes. Saeran looks so incredibly exhausted, and all you want to do is hold him close and keep him safe inside your arms. And if you do pull him closer? If you start carefully caressing his hair and whispering sweet nothings into his ears? You'll eventually feel him start to shake slightly against you as silent sobs overtake his thin form. But, you will not let go of him this time. And judging by his tight hold on you? He doesn't want you to do that either.

GE Saeran

He's mostly the little spoon, but he doesn't mind being the big spoon every once in a while. Saeran is tremendously affectionate toward you, so daily cuddles are a total must! Casual cuddling is also important to you two. If you're sitting next to each other? You'll be cuddling, doesn't matter where you are. It's nothing explicit, he just loves being physically close to you and feeling your warmth flood his body. Prefers cuddling while facing each other. Having your arms hold onto him so securely, while you're talking about your day is pure heaven to him. Your voice has always been a huge comfort to him, which is why it's not rare for him to ask you to talk about whatever you want. He'll listen. Be it your special interests, how you're feeling at the moment, or what happened during your day - it will make him smile regardless of the topic. You could tell him the most boring story ever and he'll absolutely adore it because it's something important to you, and that means that he'll be fully engaged instantly. After all, he knows from experience how hard it can be, when nobody's interested in what you have to say, however small it may be. Unfortunately, nightmares are a common occurrence for you two. The difference is, with time, he'll stop waking up from them all together. He'll just get up the next morning as if nothing ever happened, although he's completely open to talking about it with you, if you'll bring it up with him. Instead of waking him from his slumber, you'll reach out for his hand, quietly assuring him that he's okay and that he's safe. He might not hear you, but your presence does bring him peace. His nightmares will get rarer with time, thanks to therapy and his own progress in life. It's a work in progress, but he's got a sturdy support system by his side to help him get through the hurdles as they go!

Unknown

Okay so, he's definitely not the cuddliest guy around. But, surprisingly, it's not impossible to get him to snuggle with you! Just don't say that that's what you two are doing right now. That's the rule. See, the room he works in is cold. And not just cold, it's borderline freezing cold. Your only saving grace is being plopped up onto his lap, which gives you the opportunity to try and cuddle up to him in search of warmth. Unknown is not that warm in temperature, but he's not freezing either, except for his fingers which are super cold to the touch. If you do that carefully enough to not disturb him from his precious work, you might get lucky enough to stay snuggled up next to your boss for the time being. For all his teasing, he's pretty oblivious when it comes to societal norms. If he knew that by having you pressed up against his chest, with him placing his chin onto your shoulder for a better view of his workspace, you're basically cuddling? Yeah, he wouldn't put up with that. But hey, he has no idea, and in his worldview, he's keeping an eye on you, so that you won't do anything stupid. What you don't know won't kill you. And... it's nice to have something, or someone, to help him ground himself whenever he gets so lost in his routine, it's hard to distinguish reality from fiction. He never mentions the reason behind his fingers absentmindedly finding themselves fiddling with your hair or drawing invisible patterns on the skin of your thighs. He just... likes it. There are a lot of things that you two never speak about. It's a two-sided blade, really. The other times when you'll be 'cuddling' is whenever any one of you is suffering particularly badly from the effects of the elixir. Oftentimes, it's hard to remember what exactly happened to you under the haze of the drug, which is why it's so easy to allow yourself to be just a little bit braver. You'll hold him close, rubbing his back and promising him that everything will be alright, as he feverishly clings to you in futile attempts to numb the pain. And Unknown will begrudgingly tuck you into bed whenever you're the one suffering through the same pain in return. Against his indifferent demeanor, he will stay by your side until you fall asleep, checking up on your temperature and making sure that nothing goes terribly wrong. You'll awake the next day with a wet towel draped over your forehead and a glass of water resting on the bedside table.

SE Saeran

It will take him a while to feel comfortable enough to try full-on cuddling with you. It's nothing against you, Saeran really enjoys being close to you, but he's just... It's scary letting someone share such an intimate experience with you. You'll sit side by side and you'll hold hands most of the time. Occasionally, he will carefully lay his head onto your shoulder, if he's feeling especially peaceful and content in the moment. It's the silent sort of closeness where no words are needed to understand each other. You know he loves you, and you don't need him to break his boundaries to prove that. When he does feel ready to share this new level of intimacy with you, he's going to be a little bit stiff. He'll be laying on his back with his arm carefully wrapped around your waist, while you tentatively nestle yourself close to his side, pressing your cheek to his chest and feeling his heart drum away right beside your ear. You'll rest like this for about half an hour, before you decide to pull apart and make sure that everything is okay. You'll see the tiniest of smiles stretch out the corners of his lips, but it radiates with so much warmth, you can't help but get a little bit choked up. It'll still take you two a lot of time before you finally decide to try sleeping together in a single bed, though. His nightmares cause more than enough harm to him alone, and the last thing Saeran wants is to hurt you, even if he does it on accident. You two make sure to speak about these things openly and come to a shared decision. Nevertheless, short naps on the couch are more than okay, which is why it's not unusual to find you two huddled up under a fluffy blanket in the middle of the day. He's not a heavy sleeper, but not a light one either. It really depends on his mood before he falls asleep. Saeran is the most vulnerable when he's asleep, so it's a huge representation of his utmost trust in you if he allows you to be near him in those moments.

Rika

Deep inside, she's a huge cuddle bug, she just needs a little encouragement to be open with her desires! Healthy and open communication is key, and she's more than willing to put in the work in order to make your relationship prosper. She has her good days and her bad days, which is why it's so important for you two to always keep in contact regarding your mood. Rika is doing her best in therapy, but the road to recovery is a bumpy one. She really enjoys being both on the receiving and giving end when it comes to cuddling, so she's not picky at all. It should be noted though, that it's pretty hard for her to be the big spoon because of her small size, but she's more stubborn than she might seem to you at the first glance. She will make it work one way or another! Rika adores it whenever you let her rest her head on your lap. Feeling your fingers gently running through her hair and being able to look up at you any time she wants is pure bliss to her. You look just like an angel in her eyes, and if you'll lean over to place a quick kiss on the tip of her nose? She'll turn into a blushy puddle in an instant. Sadly for her, she looks way too adorable whenever she tries to hide her burning face inside her blonde locks, which is why you'll never stop trying to sweep her off her feet. She's extremely doting on her partner, so expect a lot of kisses. In fact, her kisses are pretty much your new alarm clock, since she's an early bird at heart. The other thing she loves is having long meaningful conversations while cuddling. She tends to get carried away with her thoughts, but you're always more than happy to listen and make your own additions to her line of thought. Rika is pretty picky when it comes to how she wants to make her bed, and her preferences consist of two pillows and a thin blanket. She gets overheated easily under a thick blanket, which is why you might need to speak about that in advance.

Vanderwood

They're a self-certified big spoon, and it'll take you a while to convince them to try out playing the role of the little spoon for the sake of the experiment. And once they try it? There's no going back from that. They're a relatively silent cuddler, but you don't need words to convey the peaceful atmosphere that accompanies your cuddles. They'll place their chin on the top of your head and hold you close to their chest, drawing small circles on your back with their thumbs. In contrast to their bulky build, they're actually very tender with their touches. It's like they're afraid that they'll break you somehow if they press on you just a little too hard. Vanderwood loves to intertwine their legs with yours whenever you guys are snuggling. It makes them feel safe and connected to you on a deeply personal level. They often suffer from nightmares of their time in the agency, or of something horrible happening to you, so you'll need to be prepared for that. They might lash out the moment they awake since they're so used to seeing danger at every corner, but they'll never hurt you. It does upset them quite a bit whenever they see that frightened look on your face, but they won't push you away if you ask to stay with them. You'll make a warm cup of tea and talk about it once they're calm. Or, you won't. You never push them to talk about something they don't want to share. After all, you can only guess the horrors they've seen throughout their years in the agency. Some things are best left unsaid, and you'll stay by their side on every step of the way.

Bonus round!

Natasha

She's a little spoon at heart but prefers playing the role of the big spoon at first. She does have the tendency to care for her partner's needs before her own, and the notion of letting someone comfort her scares her a little. Some reassurance is definitely needed before she feels comfortable enough to relax in her partner's arms. Oddly enough, Natasha won't get that flustered when cuddling. Moreover, quite often she doesn't even realize that you two are actually cuddling till you verbally point it out to her. And that's the moment when her face will start to burn up with embarrassment as she stutters away in weak attempts to rationalize her behavior. She's a bit of a mess in that way. Will hug a pillow in her sleep, at all times. She won't fall asleep if she's not holding something close to her chest, her partner included. Natasha is an extremely deep sleeper. It gets so bad sometimes, that you have to actively shake her awake, and even that will take you some time before it works. It takes her a long time to fully wake up, so dealing with a very sleepy and drowsy Natasha in the morning is a routine at this point. She prefers sleeping under a thick blanket, but it's only because she gets cold very easily. As long as you keep her warm, she will fall asleep with no problems.

Chaewon

She's a big spoon, and there's no negotiation about that. And to her excuse, most of the time, it's hard for her to play the role of the little spoon even if she tries. Her big height, as well as her muscular build pretty much settle her as the one giving the cuddles in any relationship, and she's not complaining about that anyways. She likes the notion of providing someone with the feeling of safety and comfort in such a tender way. There's no need to put her life on the line, grit her teeth through the pain or tear down someone both physically and emotionally against her better judgment. She can just... hold someone, and that's more than enough for them. Sometimes, it's still hard to believe for her that something so simple could exist. When she gets further into a relationship, she'll start being way bolder with her affections. Her partner will have to be prepared to play the role of a huge teddy bear for Chaewon. She can and will pick you up, spin you around and carry you bridal style wherever she goes with relative ease. The other thing she loves is using her partner's lap as a pillow. She's quite similar to a sly cat in that way. It's not unusual for her to plop down onto your lap and raise an eyebrow at you expectantly. You already know what she wants! She does struggle with nightmares quite often, but she'll try desperately to hide them from her partner. After all, it's only dreams, they're not real. She's super stubborn, so you'll need to sit her down and lecture her about the importance of healthy communication before she grumpily agrees to talk about it with you. She's willing to learn, it just takes her some time.

[wishing-stones]

Ooh, are any of the boys into biting/marking/possession? Idk if my last ask sent, but it was asking what cross was into specifically

(Sorry if I'm overwhelming you with asks, I just love the way you write the boys!! Make sure to take breaks!!!)

Nah it's fine! It's nice to have something short to write out that isn't tied to a longer project lmao.

The short answer is: all of them

Killer is usually pretty rough and bites and scratches. He knows about how hard to do it to mark up, but not severely injure human skin. He's big on seeing his handiwork, though, so he's very into this, Dust is too, but he's rougher, and if you can handle it, he will make you bleed. Bruising, bleeding, scratching... you'll look like a crime scene. He's a little unstable in the throes of passion and gets very possessive. Thankfully, he's very good with aftercare. Axe will leave bruises, but won't break skin for obvious reasons. He does get pretty possessive, and you might have some embarrassingly large hickeys, but hey. They're bruises and not a lot else, and he's also very fond of nuzzling and kissing them. Cross isn't as into it, but he might get a little rough sometimes. He might mark up your back if he gets the chance, but nothing really severe. On the whole, he's a lot gentler than the others. He can get a little nibbly, though, so watch your collarbone. Baggs prefers more of a mental mark, but he's sure as shit possessive. He can and does scratch and bite, but doesn't do so very hard. Most everything can be cleaned up with a little bit of magic. For him, seeing his colors on your soul or in your eyes is much more gratifying. Nightmare is incredibly possessive, and will mark you all to hell and back if you let him. Bites, scratches, even constriction marks if you fight his tentacles/he squeezes hard enough. He can tell exactly where the edge of 'too much pain' is, and dances it. He also tends to be possessive outside of intimate encounters, and you'll find he tends to coil a tentacle around an ankle or around your waist if he's feeling threatened.

[acourtofmenandthirst]

A New Male (Part II of II)

Rhysand's Sister!Reader x Eris

Holy fuck I am so sorry this took me so long! I should have made it three parts instead but I just wanted to finish it for you guys! I hope yall wanted soft Eris, because this is so mushy but I also love it

Again, timeline and character development not really canon, so just go with the flow! Here is Part I

Warnings: Mentions of character death, swearing, smut, Eris cares too much about fashion theory

Word Count: 13.5K

You unsurprisingly found yourself ending up in the Autumn Court again, dew clinging to the hem of your skirts and fog winding around your wrists. You’d followed the sunset from the gloomy Court of Nightmares, chasing the golden skies and beams of light kissing the clouds, a sight so often shielded with storm clouds in your home territory.

Wings tucked in tight behind you, you stepped over logs and maneuvered around muddy leaves, looking around, searching for a certain fireborne male. With your hair pinned nearly behind your head, only a few tendrils now slinging around your pointed ears, you craned your neck from side to side, eager to cover as much ground as you could, desperate to find your new friend. 

Those amber eyes found you first, though, from his spot perched on a thick tree branch spread high above you. He’d winnowed as soon as he noticed you in the court, wandering through the dense forest. He was quick to scent you, the faint oenothera and cool brisk night, even from his position just outside the Forest House. As his ears picked up on the sentries discussing the sudden intrusion, he quickly ordered them to stand down, ensuring he would investigate the trespasser. 

Don’t tell Beron.

Eris could not stress it enough. 

He’d winnowed his way through the woods, finding new hiding places until he decided he was finally close enough to you, perched up atop the highest tree branch, watching as you searched for him. It made his heart flutter, unable to stop the small smile that pulled at his lips. 

It didn’t hurt that you had donned your dress with the tightest bodice, corset pulled so tight that your chest was pressed against the fabric, pressing up toward your collarbones with every breath you took. 

And maybe you had done it on purpose. 

He winnowed down a few feet in front of you, tall, lean body hidden by the fog. He was quick to step out, though, perfectly in your path, stopping you dead in your tracks. Your breath hitched in your throat, head stuck on a swivel, as you straightened your back, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze.  

“Welcome back,” he mused, arms crossed over his chest, smirking hanging on his lips. 

Couldn’t stay away, you wished to say. “Happy to see my welcoming committee, once again,” you replied nonchalantly, dropping your shoulders in a shrug. 

Eris smiled, stepping closer to you. “I was beginning to wonder when I’d see you back in my Court.”

You returned the smile, praying to the Mother to hide the blush on your cheeks - or at least have him chalk it up to the cold evening air. It’s not like you’d counted how many days had passed since you’d last been to Autumn. 

But you were waiting for the exact moment when you could slip away and race back to the red haired male. 

Rhysand and your father had been called to the Illyrian camps unexpectedly. You’d been left with his larger friend in charge, the big brute that couldn’t go two hours without eating. You were able to coerce him into a dinner with your finest maids, the most beautiful ones you could find - them, and about twelve bottles of your father’s Faewine. 

You slipped out of your room not a moment too soon, and were able to catch the sunset on your flight to the Autumn Court. 

“Miss me that much?” Your voice was as smooth as that gods damned Night Court silk he despised so much. While he decided you didn’t look bad in it, actually quite pleased with how you looked barely wrapped in the dark material, he would much prefer to see you in something corduroy. 

Eris couldn’t suppress the chuckle that left his chest, a low rumble, yet such a boyish laugh. “Who else would I be able to share my family woes with?” He quirked an eyebrow in your direction. 

You nodded, suddenly remembering the weight your own family had been putting on your shoulders lately - and how much of a risk it truly was to see Eris. You bit your lip, looking around at the forest floor. Colorful leaves scattered the damp earth, clumps of mud and dirt caked at the bottom of the dying shrubbery. “No fire or knife throwing?” You asked, desperate to talk about anything other than your family - or his. 

Understanding of your conversational change, Eris strode to one of the fallen tree trunks, sitting on the dark bark. His legs spread slightly, dark pants stretched out, matching the dark blue suit jacket he wore. “Not tonight,” he replied, looking up at the sky. “Just out admiring the sunset.” A little white lie never hurt anyone, right?

You nodded, strolling over to take a seat beside him. You held your wings up high, tightly pressed to your back, keeping them out of the mud and out of Eris’s way. “That’s what I was going to say,” you replied, with a small smile pulling at your lips. A white lie shared between friends, then. 

Without another word, Eris leaned backward, drinking you all in: the way your dress hugged your curves, accentuated your chest, nearly glowing under the setting sun. Your hair curled perfectly over your ears, exposing your long neck and shoulders. Your dark wings flexed behind you, held high by your immaculate posture, fit for a queen on her throne.

It was a sight Eris wouldn’t be forgetting any time soon.

Much to your dismay, as soon as you opened your mouth to make a snarky comment about the young heir apparent, your stomach growled, interrupting the near expired silence. You felt your cheeks burn, hand clenched to your stomach as you tried to laugh it off.

Eris laughed, too, a genuine one, showing how caught off guard he really was. “You okay there, little bat?”

You were simply on fire at that point. 

You huffed a laugh, forcing yourself to ignore his commentary - unable to decide if you liked the sound of it or not. “I skipped dinner,” you replied. Skipped dinner to escape Cassian in the Court of Nightmares, to find you. “And then the flight over here…” You had to travel across nearly all of Prythian to get there - not a small feat, especially not in the dress you wore, and not on an empty stomach. 

Eris rolled his eyes. “Nothing here worth skipping meals for.”

“You’ve eaten the Nightmare gruel before, no?”

Eris barked out a laugh, smiling broadly, eyes squinting at the corners. “As much as I’d love to remember the grey cuisine last time I was visiting,” he began, dropping a hand to your knee, over your thick skirts. “I’d much rather not.” With a glint in his bright shining eyes, his wide palm squeezed your leg. “Stay here.”

Before you could even question it, the male was gone, vanishing into nothing but thin air. You cursed yourself, cursed your father for not passing down the strong powers he gave to Rhysand to you as well. You could barely summon darkness as your brother did, much less winnow. You didn’t have the abilities to hide your wings like Rhys - whether he actively hid them or had to summon them through magic - you weren’t sure anybody really knew. 

If not for the fading orange sun, you wouldn’t be afraid. The sun set quickly here in Autumn, and you weren't sure how long you would be sitting there without Eris. 

Eris, on the other hand, scavenged through the Forest House kitchen. He would run himself ragged to find you something - opening cabinets and oven doors, searching for the perfect treat for you. He knew he couldn’t be gone long - he wasn’t sure how long you’d actually wind up waiting for him. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the apple crumble cooling on the windowsill. It was perfect. 

He lunged towards the window, stopping only to fix his jacket and run a hand through his messy hair, before he grabbed the dish and a spoon and winnowed back to you. 

Eris sat back on the large tree trunk, holding the warm dish between the two of you. 

Your eyes grew wide as you observed the dessert, chunks of apple drizzled with caramel and brown seasoning. The crumble on top was still steaming slowly, chunks of dough and oats and something that smelled so sweet. He held it out to you, which you graciously took.

“This isn’t going to be one of those old wivestales is it? The one they tell the children to scare them out of running away?” Your head tilted to the side, holding the delicate white baking dish in both hands. The sweet smell of sugar entrapped you. “Where if they eat the food from the mysterious land, they’ll be stuck there forever?”

Eris’s eyes washed over the smirk that played at your lips. His voice dropped an octave: “Would that be so bad?”

You shook your head quickly, wings shaking slightly behind you. Eris held the spoon out to you, watching you take it and scoop a hearty spoonful of the apple crumble, quickly taking it into your mouth. 

You could have moaned - never having tasted such a sweet treat. Solstice dessert came close, but no Night Court dish would have such depth, the tart apple with the big chunks of sugar and allspice flakes. You had heard legends about the infamous Autumn caramel, the viscous golden sugar that could be traded for bags of coins in the other courts. 

As you took a scoop of the chunky topping, you couldn’t help but notice how those red eyes watched you, a predator watching his prey, eating the sweet treat, only sweetening you up for his own tasting later.

Gods, and you wished he would. 

He knew you noticed him staring. He had nowhere else to look, really. No other sight would have his blood pumping like that: watching you lick the sticky sauce off your lips. 

He would forego a hundred years just to see that tongue of yours run across your lips. To watch as your eyes fluttered closed, nearly moaning at the taste. 

Your attention was all on him as you lifted the spoon to your lips. Caught in a trance, though, those fiery red eyes demanding all of your attention, a chunk of topping fell from your spoon, landing directly on your chest. Your eyes flitted downwards, you hadn’t expected nearly such a grand display on your end, the wide expanse of your pushed-up chest now the perfect plate for such a delicious treat.

Eris would agree - you were utterly appetizing. 

His eyes flicked back and forth, between your eyes, your lips, your chest. His fists were clenched at his sides and he forced himself to breathe calmly. Not one to besmirch a female’s reputation, he held himself back - stopped himself from reaching over and having a taste straight from the source.

“You have no idea,” he whispered, unable to raise his grating voice from the low tenner. “The amount of restraint I have around you.”

You huffed out a low breath, smirking at the poor male in front of you. You swiftly placed the dish down on the ground beside you, not taking your eyes off Eris as you simply plucked the chunk of dough up, holding it up in front of you. You tossed him a sultry smile as you held your hand out to him, but as soon as those lips parted, eyes burning with desire, you pulled back and placed the sugary chunk on your own waiting tongue. 

His jaw fell ever so slightly, watching as you reached back out for him, a droplet of caramel - one matching the smudge on your breast - lingering off your finger. You dragged your thumb across his bottom lip, earning a blink and a sigh from the male, as his tongue met your finger ever so gently. You brought your hand back to yourself, licking the remnants of the sauce from your thumb once again, as if tasting Eris instead. 

“What are you holding yourself back for?” You breathed, eyes wandering from his blazing red ones to his pink lips, looking so soft, still parted ever so slightly. “I know it’s not for my benefit.”

Eris willed his mouth shut, forcing a breath down his throat. “(Y/N).” Your name was a prayer, a plea, begging for salvation. “If you allow me to touch you, I am not sure if I will ever be able to stop.” 

Your heart lurched to your throat, stomach twisting in anticipation as you failed to come up with a response - nothing but his name on your lips as his hand reached upwards, tracing up the outside of your bare arm, eventually stopping at the back of your neck. 

Your eyes nearly fluttered at the contact, his warm palm against your cold skin. His fingers stretched the expanse of the back of your neck, from the top of your shoulder to between your shoulder blades. As he leaned forward, your head tilted back, mouth falling open with the softest sigh as his nose brushed against your cheek. He pressed forward, lips tracing the shell of your ear, but not offering you a kiss. You were drawn to him, to his heat, his smell, his touch. 

Eris watched you with hooded eyes, as your head fell back completely, offering him nothing but the open expanse of your chest and neck. You felt his breath tickle the corner of your jaw before he pulled away, dropping before you. His nose nuzzled against the freezing skin of your collarbone, lips pressed against your breast, straining against the top of your corset, begging to be set free. 

You released a shaky breath, one Eris vowed to never forget, as he kissed his way up your chest, across your cleavage, tongue flitting out to taste the rest of the sugar granules that lingered across your creamy skin. You arched upwards, pressing yourself further into him as your hand fell to the back of his head. Your fingers wound through those red locks, needing to cling to something - anything - to ground yourself. 

He followed your lead as you tugged him upwards gently. Eris, ever the minx, though, smirked as he continued his ministrations up your body, offering you small kisses as he worked his way up the column of your throat, nipping at your sensitive skin once he reached the corner of your jaw. You lurched with a soft gasp, hand winding farther around his head, holding him in place. 

“Eris,” you mewled, unable to open your eyes, to pull yourself away from relishing in the feeling of the male buried in the crook of your neck. “Please, Eris.” 

Music to his ears. 

His other hand moved from the death grip he held on your hip, up to cradle the free side of your face. He tilted your head forward, until you eventually opened your eyes to meet his, burning with desire. His cheeks were painted pink, red eyes hungry with desire. “Say please again, (Y/N),” he murmured, pulling himself from the warmth he spread across your torso, looking you straight on. 

You licked your lips, mouth suddenly feeling dry, radiating with anticipation. “Eris - ” you didn’t miss how his chest huffed at the sound of his name, how he suppressed the groan that threatened to claw its way from his throat. “Please.”

His lips captured yours, so gently you weren’t sure if you would have to beg for him to really kiss you. With a sigh of contentment, like he had been waiting just as long as you had - as if delaying it wasn’t his own doing - his lips moved against yours. You leaned into him, deathgrip on his loose curls, pulling him ever so much closer to you. 

Before Eris could drag his tongue across that bottom lip of yours, the one you’d been biting all evening, his ears perked up, catching the faint howl of his dogs far on the outskirts of the forest. He sat straight, hands not dropping your head, focusing on the leering sentries. His eyes fell to yours; while his were riddled with alarm, you looked as though you’d seen a ghost, so petrified of what the High Lord of the Autumn Court would do if he found you in his court… whether he was friends with your father or not, you were trespassing. 

“You have to go,” Eris breathed, still afraid to let you go.

“I can’t keep coming back,” you replied, hand settling on his own, the one that still cupped your cheek. 

He nodded, disagreement the farthest thing from his mind. “Then I’ll come to you.”

You bit your lip, shaking your head. The Court of Nightmares would notice the moment he crossed their borders, an Autumn male entering their territory without an invitation from the High Lord. He wouldn’t be safe in Velaris, either, not in the sleepy mountain town where he’d stick out like a sore thumb. No way he’d make it close enough without your father or brother noticing. 

“You have to go,” he whispered, thumb tracing your cheekbone. “I’ll find you.”

The dogs grew louder, the sound of the males shouting far in the distance encroaching closer and closer. Without so much as another look - another kiss - Eris pulled you up by your hips, hoisting you to your feet and turning you away from him. 

You took a few wobbly steps before stretching out your wings, taking off into the dead of night. 

________________________________

You’d made it back that evening before Cassian even noticed you were missing, still drinking with the young fawns obsessing over his every move. You shouldn’t have been surprised to hear him take a handful of them to bed later. 

The sounds alone echoed against the stone walls of your fathers estate, built into the side of the tall mountain. You laid awake in bed, half tucked under the covers, a plush pillow pressed over your head, trying to drown out the sound of the beastly male and the females crying out in pleasure. The jealous part of you wished that were you and Eris, perhaps hidden away deep in the Autumn woods, the males pointed nose buried in your neck again, or those soft lips between your legs. 

You’d pay an insurmountable amount of coins to hear that breathy moan fall from his lips, the low grumble from his chest as he licked his way across you breast. The thought alone had you pressing your legs together. 

You longed for his hands to roam the expanse of your body, that damned silk dress you’d worn just for his attention. Discarded in a pile of silk on your floor. Leave it to the Autumn sentries to interrupt you - though, you had heard rumors it was the most heavily guarded court, soldiers who would die to protect Autumn’s secrets and surely would kill anyone unexpected on their land. But the bloodhounds scared you more, no matter how many creatures you’d encountered in your own home court. Their well trained noses would track any being in their lands - no matter how small - razor sharp teeth that could tear them to shreds within the blink of an eye. 

You rolled over, kicking the thick blankets off of you, throwing a coat over your shoulders before running through the drawing room and launching yourself off the balcony. 

Your wings caught you, splayed out wide behind you, coasting along the quick breeze. You soared over the Sidra, watching the moonlight coast over the rippling waves, the midnight black water shining white in reflection. The trees whirled past, the sweet smell of pine and thick fog had nothing on what you’d seen in Autumn, the lingering smell of pumpkin and cinnamon still swirling in your nose. 

You banked back toward the mountain, gliding close to the cold rocks before spotting the small cave you so often found yourself at. You landed on your feet, on the stone that offered nothing more than a couple feet of space, before plopping yourself on the edge, legs dangling off the cliff. 

You adjusted the cloak over your shoulders, pulling it over your bare arms, those that Eris had been dragging his own fingers along not long ago, tracing a line of fire up your skin. You pulled the nightgown over your legs, thick socks s covering you near bare feet. The cool night but at you, but it was welcome, much needed to help you clear your head. 

No matter how hard you tried to shake off the thought of Eris, the feeling of his touch, the all too short time he spent with his lips against yours, his memory lingered - as did his touch, his warmth, his smell. 

Your wings prickled, goosebumps washing over your skin as you felt another approaching; Illyrian wings appearing far in the distance. You squinted, watching Rhys follow your own path, soaring high before dropping down on the edge of your little cliff. The one you two had been sneaking off to since you were young. When Rhys would take you flying, he often took you here, a nice resting spot while you were still too young and unable to fly for so long. 

You’d pushed him off the edge numerous times, giggling as he caught himself in the air, his boisterous laugh bouncing off the sides of the mountain, echoing in the valley below. 

“Figured I’d find you here,” he started, taking a seat beside you. His Illyrian leathers were matte under the stark moonlight. Clothes he so rarely wore recently. Not since his time in training, since your mother had been with him at the camp. 

“Your friend is quite loud,” you replied flatly, staring down at the rocks below. 

Rhys grumbled. “I’ll have to talk to him about that.” You hoped he wasn’t peering into Cassian’s mind, catching him at such an intimate moment. 

“You’re back sooner than expected… is father at home?”

Rhys nodded. “We left Azriel in charge of the Illyrians, you know father couldn’t stand being there any longer than he had to.” 

You frowned, unfortunately unable to forget your fathers cruel behavior at the war camps. How he’d demand public punishment, chaining the males up for their lashings, demanding the other soldiers to watch in warning. 

Something your poor mother would have had to watch, had she not been taken from her family to marry the High Lord. 

“You smell like…” Rhys trailed off, dipping his head closer to your hair. “Burning? What is that?” His brows furrowed, washing over your face in worry, looking for any singed skin, any signs of injury. 

But it was Eris, you smelled like him, just from your brief moment together; like bonfire, burning embers, like that sweet caramel. You shook your head at your brother, brushing it off. “I was attempting something in the kitchen… didn’t quite pan out.” You shrugged at him, hoping it was enough to buy it. 

Either Rhys was not as well trained in sensing smells as he thought, or he simply hadn’t spent enough time with the Autumn heir to pinpoint his scent. Either way, you were grateful. 

 “Father wants to have another ball in the Court of Nightmares,” Rhys said, thankfully changing the subject. “Something to celebrate the birth of Keir’s daughter.” He pressed his lips together, exhaling harshly through his nose. 

“You think Keir is putting him up to it?” You asked, knowing your uncle all too well, ready to draw all the attention to himself, a mask celebrating his new daughter, the blonde babe only a few weeks old. 

Rhys held back whatever he was to say. Whatever he was going to say about his father’s plans for her - but Rhysand swallowed down the thought.  “Probably,” he sighed. 

Your eyes washed across the grey rock, small stones dropping off the cliff edge with each gust of wind. Nobody liked the Court of Nightmares, it was ruled in a constant state of terror, it’s own citizens miserable. You weren’t sure if it was your father or his brothers fault, but neither seemed in a hurry to improve living conditions there. Though the parties were often glamorous, the various courts were too often displeased to travel to the gloomy underworld. 

But at least you’d get to see Eris sooner than either of you hoped. 

________________________________

The red dress you chose was a bit more suited to the Nightmare style, much more fitted and tighter than your usual skirts. Your mother was never a fan of the less is more style of the gloomy court. 

Your father, on the other hand, didn’t understand why you needed to have that silk dyed into a burgundy, the same dark red that matched Eris’s hair. The exact color you knew would drive the territorial male wild. 

The maids had done your hair up much like that last time you saw him, but you opted for the high neckline that drew the eye up the long expanse of your throat. The rest of the dress was tight, pulled taught against your bodice and hips, a long slit showing off only one of your toned legs - gods bless the Illyrian gene. 

Eris thought the exact same thing when he saw you. Taller than most of the pure Night Court females, and no doubt more intimidating with your wings arched high at your back, he watched you move gracefully across the dance floor, greeting friends and flirting with random males. 

You felt Eris’s gaze burning into you, after all, he stood nearly a whole head over the Spring Court male he was pretending to converse with. The Vanserras had dispersed throughout the room, red hair scattered, most flocking to the Night and Day Court females, both of which wore next to nothing. 

Cassian appeared at your side, earning a sigh from you, as he attempted to stare down the Autumn male. “What’s with the stick up his ass,” he grumbled, stepping just in front of your line of sight. He smirked down at you, arms crossed over his wide chest. 

You rolled your eyes, turning to walk toward the table with the Faewine - Mother knew you’d need it. “That color looks lovely on you, (Y/N),” he continued, falling into step beside you. “Wore it just for me?” You knew he was taking the piss, but you couldn’t help but drop your eyes to the bright red siphons on the backs of his hands. He’d earned four thus far, but your brother promised him and Azriel many more once he became High Lord. 

“You must be colorblind, Cassian,” you sighed, brushing it off. He laughed, tilting his head back toward the crowd to find the Vanserra. “Or maybe your more full of yourself than I gave you credit for.”

Cassian took it as a compliment, the cocky male smiling broadly down at you. As you pressed through the mass of Fae, finally finding the wine, your eyes fell onto a pale hand, extending a glass of purplish liquid out to you. You pressed your lips together to suppress the smile that laced your mouth, bright eyes gleaming up at Eris, who, in turn, beamed down to you. 

Cassian made haste to snatch the glass, but you beat him to it, taking the cup in both hands and thanking Eris for the drink. “Pleasure to see you again, Lady (Y/N).”

You almost laughed at the formality, so out of place on the male’s tongue. 

“None for me?” Cassian mocked, eyes wandering up and down the Autumn male, sizing him up. Eris stood a few inches taller than him, glaring down at the Illyrian from under his eyelashes. He stood lean, unable to match Cassian’s muscular build. You weren’t convinced either was I dominated by the other. 

“You have two capable hands, no?” Eris seethed, gaze finally falling back to you, giving you a similar up-and-down. His red eyes lingered on your long leg, your hips and the curve of your breast, hidden beneath the dark red fabric. 

Cassian grumbled a response, glaring at the male as his eyes washed over you. Your cheeks heated, uncomfortable with the third-party viewer, standing so close to the two of you, when all you could think about was Eris’s hands tracing that same path down your body. 

When Eris’s hand fell to the small of you back, warm fingers brushing against the smooth silk of your dress, Cassian’s eyes flitted to Azriel, who was already halfway across the room making his way toward you. You called to Rhys, testing his newly flourishing daemati power. 

Control your guard dogs, you hissed toward him, once you felt his tallon drag down your mental shields just enough. 

They’re protecting you. I don’t need that Autumn filth touching you like that. 

I don’t need them watching my every movement, either. Tell them to leave me alone. You shut him out of your mind without waiting for a response, eyes falling to Rhys across the room, hanging onto every word Tamlin said. You narrowed your eyes at him, once those indigo ones flitted to you momentarily. 

With a roll of his eyes and subtle shake of his head, he glanced toward his two friends, undoubtedly telling them to back off. He turned back to Tamlin as Cassian and Azriel glanced at each other before reluctantly turning to find someone else to bother. “Be careful, (Y/N),” Cassian offered you as he joined his friend. 

“Quite the posse you’ve gotten yourself here,” Eris stated, watching the males walk away with their tails tucked between their legs. 

You leaned into his touch every so slightly, enough to go unnoticed to everyone except the two of you. His hand flattened against your back, fingers splaying over the top of your ass. 

“Eris,” you warned, turning to face him. You didn’t see your father in the crowd, fearful he would find you and Eris standing too close for his liking. Eris was worried about the same thing, actually, but he was too distracted to care about what his father might think about it. 

“Dance with me?” He asked, turning you toward the dancing area, where the orchestra had just begun testing their instruments. 

Your hand fell to his arm, holding his thick bicep through the heavy fabric of his brown jacket. “I don’t want to dance.”

Fire flashed in his eyes and his jaw set as he stared down at you in complete understanding. “Then lead the way.”

You had to force breath in your lungs, not used to the way his voice dropped when he spoke so quietly to you. His words rattled in your bones. 

Taking hold of his hand still behind your back, you brought it around your hip, holding it there, fingers sliding between his. You made your way through the crowd, following the perimeter of the room to avoid as many onlookers as possible. 

All you could think about was his lips pressed against your chest, hands following the curve of your bodice as he held you in the woods. 

Eris, with something similar on his mind, followed you quietly, glaring at any onlookers who watched your swift exit. He bared his teeth at his younger brothers, whooping far off in the crowd, smiling as the heiress of the Night Court led their brother into her bed chambers. 

As soon as you left the ballroom, sneaking through the servant’s exit into the hallway, Eris twisted you around in his arms, holding you firmly by the waist and pulling you flush against his front. His head swooped down to your, capturing your lips in a sloppy kiss, unable to wait any longer. 

Your hands rose immediately to his face, holding his cheeks as you opened your mouth and made to devour him. Fingers rising to curl through his hair, you pressed yourself into him and allowed him to lean forward more, all the way until he backed you into the wall. 

You pulled his hair, grasping at the stands to pull him down more, smashing your lips against his. He groaned, hands splaying down your back to your ass, grabbing your upper thighs and pulling you up against the wall, pinned to his torso. Your legs immediately wrapped around him, ankles crossing behind his back. The both of you were immensely grateful for that slit in your dress, allowing you to mold yourself completely to his front. 

Your arms wound around his neck, locking him against you, letting him sloppily kiss you, and run his tongue against your bottom lip. With a sigh, you granted him access, not caring how messy the kiss was, or who happened to see. 

Eris, apparently disagreeing with the latter, squeezed your ass in his palm, stepping away from the wall, holding you to his chest. “Where am I taking you?” He whispered against your lips. 

Gods, right here. Right now. When you didn’t respond fast enough, still enamored with his mouth on yours, he smacked your ass, earning a yelp and small jerk against his front. You rubbed yourself against him slightly, arching your back to press your chest to his, pulling back just enough to stare into his lust filled eyes. “My room.”

“Okay and…” He sighed, dipping his head to meet the side of your neck, just under where your jaw met your neck. He licked a broad stripe over your sensitive skin, evoking chills down your spine. You gripped the back collar of his jacket to steady yourself as his sharp white teeth sunk softly into your flesh. “Where would that be?”

You sighed against him, wishing there wasn’t as many layers of clothes between you. “That way.” You lazily hung an arm out behind you, pointing down the grand hallway. Eris placed a sloppy kiss to your neck as he began his journey, easily carrying you through the empty halls. 

He carried you through the cold corridors, following your breathless directions as you planted wet kisses across his jawline. He burned hot, something you chalked up to the fire flowing through his veins. He wanted nothing more than to take you in the middle of the hallway, especially as he felt you bouncing against his dick as he half-ran up the stairs to your bedroom, your warm cunt rubbing against the front of his pants. 

“Left,” you whispered, kissing against his ear and he approached one of the final doors. He kicked open the heavy mahogany door easily, letting you reach a hand behind him and slam it shut. 

Without letting you go, his lips found yours again, messier than before, one hand framing your face to tilt your head perfectly opposite of his so he could devour you. 

He ever so slowly dragged himself to the bed, where he knelt on the mattress and laid you against the plush blankets and mountain of pillows. Your wings stretched out behind you side to side, and Eris’s eyes moved from left to right, taking it in. “Is that comfortable?” You nodded, and barely unhooked your legs from him, just enough so he could lean before you, pulling away only to drink you in. 

The most beautiful female he’d ever seen, there laying under him, waiting for him to take her oh so slowly. Eris never thought he had good karma, but that night he felt like the luckiest male in the world. 

His hand ran down your front, from your neck to your chest, over the curve of your breast and down your stomach, along that bare thigh. He breathed your name, a sigh of relief, finally able to continue what he’d started in the woods. 

He brought his hand up to your face, thumb brushed over your cheekbone as he dropped his other hand opposite of your head, positioning himself over you. Eris leaned in so slowly, pressing a careful, soft kiss to your waiting lips. 

It was the kiss he intended to have that first time, so slow and perfect. You hummed against him, hands circling around his neck again and curling in his hair. You broke only for breath, for a split second before capturing each other’s lips again. 

You quickly tired of his patience, of that carefully planned out kiss, instead pulling him further into you, legs tightening around him. He didn’t flatten against the mattress until you’d pulled yourself up to meet him, your core pressed into him as he hovered over the mattress. 

He chuckled against your lips, pinching your ass before he fully dropped to the plush covers, leaning his weight into you. Your arms wined down his torso, nails raking against the sewn embellishments on the front of his jacket. 

“This needs to come off,” Eris breathed, lips moving to skin over the flushed skin under your jaw. His hands fell over your hips, unable to keep still, dragging from your waist to your hips, curling around to hold the soft flesh of your ass that was pressed against the mattress. 

“Say please, Eris,” you mewed breathlessly, much like he had said during your last encounter in the Autumn forest. Your hands waded through his hair and down his back, desperate to pull him closer to you. 

He sighed heavily, dragging his lips up the side of your jaw, kissing his way up under your ear. His tongue dragged up the shell of your ear as he pressed his cock into you, grinding against you through your thin dress. You let out a shaky breath, wishing you’d made him disrobe before climbing over you. His lips touched your ear as he whispered his plea. “Please, (Y/N).” 

You moaned, opening your legs wider for him to settle between, for him to press his cock against your aching core. His hand ran down your leg, exposed from the slit cut all the way up to your hip. His fingertips barely touched you, yet left a wake of fire in their path. His hand found purchase under your ass, where he pulled you upward, impossibly closer to him as he continued his desperate movements, rutting against you. “Please.”

You picked your head up from the mattress, hands sliding across his chest to push him off of you. He sat up immediately, though not dropping his hands from your backside. You stared at him, through half lidded eyes as you reached your arms over your head behind you, unfastening the few buttons at the back of your neck, holding the collar of your dress together. 

As you worked your way down, Eris’s hands fell from your ass and instead joined your own hands, moving back so you could sit up and he could unfasten the remaining buttons. His long arms stretched behind you, giving you the perfect opportunity to work on the layers of hooks and buttons lining the front of his suit. 

The golden hooks were quick to unfasten, and you pushed open his suit jacket so it hung loosely off his shoulders and you made haste on the white shirt underneath. Eris’s movements slowed as he became distracted with your work. You pulled the cotton material, untucking it from his tailored brown trousers, finishing off the rest of his buttons. 

Your fingers danced down the pale skin of his abdomen, tracing the muscle lines down under his bellybutton, along the faint pale hairs that led into those thick pants. As you pulled at the ends of his white shirt, your knuckles brushed against the bulge in his pants, grazing his throbbing cock underneath however many more layers. 

His eyes fluttered closed, lips parted just slightly as you stared up at him, the beautiful male in your bed, desperate for your touch. His hands were frozen behind you, one palm curling around you, laying flat against your collarbone and the curve of your throat, gripping your shoulder. The other held a death grip on the soft fabric behind your back, the only other thing grounding him to you. 

Your fingers traced the outline of his cock, around the swell until you found yourself back at the hem of his trousers. You brushed against his shaking skin, muscles trembling beneath you as you hooked your fingers inside his pants, making your way to unfasten the button and pull him free. 

But a knock sounded at the door. 

Eris snapped out of his trance, head swiveling to the door, unsure of whether your visitor would be entering the room, too. 

Azriel, who undoubtedly knew what you were doing and exactly who you were doing it with, offered you a merciful knock and warning. “Make yourself decent before your brother barges in.”

You prayed to all the gods that he wasn’t watching with those forsaken shadows. 

“Fuck,” you hissed, pulling your hands away, buttoning the back of your dress together again. Eris dropped his hands to his front, hastily closing all of his garments and falling back to sit on the bed before you. 

Eris watched you as he then clambered off the bed, standing before you just in time for Rhys to push past Azriel and into your room. You shoved your legs out in front of you, sitting behind Eris, making sure your dress was placed to cover all of your exposed areas. “Get the out,” you called, pressing your hands against the silk of your dress. 

“You’re talking to him, right?” Rhys mocked, staring at the wild-haired Autumn male. “If he touched you, (Y/N), Cauldron help him - ”

You stood behind Eris, who shuffled aside to make room for you to face your brother. “Shut up, Rhysand. I’m not a child - ”

Cassian burst into the room, Azriel slithering in beside him, both of them flanking your brother. 

The trio of purity, apparently. 

“So you think you can fuck this Autumn scum?”

Before you could bite back a response to your unwelcome brother, Cassian was desperate to chime in, interested in landing some blows on the male beside you. Azriel’s expression remained neutral, bored even. His shadows skidded across the floor, swirling around Eris’s ankles. 

“Betrothed Autumn scum,” Cassian added with a grin. 

You couldn’t stop your head from whipping to the side, staring up at Eris, whose eyes were wide with surprise. “Betrothed?” You whispered, mouth hanging open ever so slightly, wings shuddering behind you. Your stomach dropped to your feet, a dull ache forming in your chest with each heartbeat. “You knew you were promised to someone else and you still…” you couldn’t raise your voice, couldn’t finish what you were about to say, even. 

“I wasn’t going to marry her - I already told my father - ” Eris’s hand reached up from his side to grab your hand, to hold you as he continued his story. 

You barely moved, only enough to curl your arms behind your back. You continued to stare up at the male, the one who had touched you, who kissed you, who was prepared to beg for you, all while knowing you could never be his, and he yours. His red eyes burned into yours, brows knit, pleading for you to hear him out - how he already told his father he’d never marry that female. That he’d sooner leave the Autumn Court than take her as his wife, his Queen. 

“Marry who?” Rhys asked, his own eyebrows pulled taught in insincerity. He was nearly giddy with anticipation. 

Eris’s eyes traveled slowly across the room, afraid to leave yours, already brimming with tears, instead to meet your brother’s sparkling eyes. If looks could kill, Rhysand would have fallen then and there. But the Autumn male refused to answer, instead his jaw clenched, fire burning at his palm where it hung in the air, still reaching out to you. 

You paid no mind to the smoldering before you, to the sparks that very well could have burned the room down, should Eris will it. Your head swiveled to Cassian, smirking at Eris, head tilted back in pleasure with the knife that is about to be wielded through Eris’s heart. Rhysand didn’t smile, but the gleam in his eye and twitch at the corner of his mouth made you want to slap it off his face, even though you had a mind to slap Eris twice as hard. It was Azriel who spoke, though, the man of few words suddenly finding his footing. His head was tilted forward so that the darkness cascading through the room covered those bright hazel eyes, causing him to become one with the night. And ever the Shadowsinger, his knowledge was unmatched. “Morrigan.”

Eris flinched, blinking so slowly, so afraid to direct his attention back to you. 

Baby Morrigan. 

He was betrothed to your cousin. She was set to grow up, groomed especially for the Autumn heir, and marry him the moment she turned eighteen. You clenched your stomach, fumbling a step backward, unable to stop yourself from heaving over, bent at the waist. Eris jutted a hand out to catch you, to which your eyes were immediately drawn to. Your wings flared out behind you, for balance, but also in pure Illyrian instinct, scaring away the approaching predator. 

You held your stomach, twisting and churning, shaking your head rapidly, frowning, unable to meet his pleading eyes. You shut your own eyes, praying no tears slipped through as you turned, wings high, back facing him as you made to throw up on the floor. 

You didn’t want to imagine those hands on you, those hands meant for your cousin in some sick scheme his father and your uncle - and probably your father - had come up with. 

Rhysand took his opportunity to launch himself at the male, unstopped by Cassian and Azriel. He threw himself at Eris, who was caught off guard, attention still drawn to you. Rhysand landed his fist directly against his face, causing both of them to go tumbling to the ground. 

Cassian extended a hand toward you, which you took, holding yourself up. He held you in place, stopping you from falling onto the ground and heaving your guts. His other hand fell to your back, just below your wings, as he guided you out of the room, leaving Azriel supervising the brawling males, should Eris pull his unfair advantage and use his fire against Rhys. 

You knew the two Illyrians would have jumped in already if it truly was a battle to the death. It was something meant between your fathers and uncle, something they’d have to deal with later. 

But honestly you didn’t care if they killed each other. Eris, the male who’d known he was to be married, knew exactly who he was expected to marry, and still touched you; still had taken you to your own bedroom begging to fuck you. Rhysand, you knew wasn’t innocent, using this information - that he knew for gods knew how long - against you, meant to hurt Eris but not caring how much it would hurt you. 

________________________________

You hadn’t gone back to your bedroom after that, after Cassian had led you to the library to calm down. He’d sat you down on the sofa, watching from a few steps away as you dropped your head in your hands, elbows propped on your shaking knees. Your stomach curled, flopping as you sucked in air, willing yourself not to vomit. 

Unsure of when the two fighting males would give up on their fight, you left for Velaris. You had told Cassian you needed some time to sort through your thoughts and sent him back to make sure the heirs didn’t kill each other - that, and inform the both of them to leave you alone once they inevitably cooled off. 

Eris, you knew would never find Velaris - he could search the entirety of the Night Court and he’d never find you, simply just lose the trace of your scent in the mountains. Rhysand, on the other hand, would find you immediately. With Cassian relaying your message, you knew you’d only bought yourself a few days. 

You had no interest in speaking with him, to see the bruises on his face and the messy black hair you imagined Eris had singed with his fire. He crawled into your mind, knocking gently on your mental shields, leaving when you wouldn’t let him in. He left you to spend a week in Velaris, Azriel sending word that Rhys told your father you were visiting Velaris to see some old friends. 

You stayed inside the townhouse, bundled up in your dark bedroom for a few days. You could barely manage to light the hearth, the warm fire that heated the cozy room quickly. The crackling wood reminded you of Eris, of his temperament and quick wit. But staring at the orange flames licking at the darkness only made your heart sink. 

His smell wrapped around you, the oak burning and swirling through the small room. You imagined his arms around you, wrapped up in the Autumn forest, red and orange and brown leaves falling beside you. You wished you could show him Velaris, hide him away in your little home, the one that hadn’t seen another visitor since your mother, since she passed so long ago. You wished you still wanted to show him Velaris. You wished you could look into those burning eyes - those that haunted your sleep - without the wave of nauseousness crashing over you. 

When you’d grown tired of laying around, not eating or drinking, you’d ventured out through the snow to the small cafe in the Rainbow, making light conversation with the passing citizens of Velaris. The second you sat down in the small shop, and not a moment too soon, the Shadowsinger plopped down across from you, glaring at you under his eyelashes. 

“So you have been watching me,” you muttered over the rim of your mug, sipping the hot chocolate slowly. 

He offered you a shrug, dropping his hands to his lap. “Following orders,” he replied, voice low and quiet. 

“My brother’s or my father’s?”

He leveled your gaze, wings perched up and stead behind him. “Does it matter?”

You gave him the same shrug he graced you with. “And what message have you come to deliver from them?”

“None,” he said, leaning forward, reaching into the chest pocket on his leathers, pulling out a neatly folded letter. The white envelope remained sealed, the wax crest of the Autumn Court fully intact along the paper opening. He slid it across the table, carefully watching as your eyes fell to the letter in his scarred hand. 

You bit your lip, afraid to touch the paper. “You came to personally deliver this letter?”

Azriel stifled a sigh, falling back into his chair. “This is the latest one. There’s a mountain more that had been hand delivered to the Court of Nightmares, no doubt all begging an audience with you.” You didn’t miss the humor in his voice, the lack of surprise that laced his tone. 

“I’ve only been gone a week,” you replied, picking up the letter, fingertip grazing over the hardened red wax. “Why did you give this to me?” Your eyes lifted to the Shadowsinger’s hazel ones, focused on you from across the table.

“I know you weren’t there or aware, even, of the deal that transpired between the Night Court and Autumn Court,” he began, words chosen carefully. “But I think it would behoove you to hear the story from his perspective.” You rolled your eyes at the Illyrian, offering him nothing but a hefty exhale. “And then let Rhysand tell you what transpired.” 

He spoke as if the stories differed, as if Azriel knew what had happened in both of the separate conversations. Perhaps being the Spymaster of Night Court had its perks, the unlimited access to information, the truth and lies that were traded between courts. Maybe Azriel was truly the only one with all of the information. “Because Rhysand will tell me something different than Eris?” You asked innocently - stupidly, perhaps.

The Shadowsinger stood, wings flitting out ever so slightly as he made to leave. “I had eyes on Vanserra after he left the Court of Nightmares,” he stated simply, as if it were nothing but normal. “He’s beside himself with guilt. Nearly got himself killed by returning to his father after what Rhys and Cassian did to him.” Your stomach lurched, unable to imagine the injury those two Illyrians would have inflicted on him. “He’s a good male.”

You peered up at the tall male, mouth running dry at those unexpected words. “And what - you aren’t going to hate him just because Rhysand does?” 

Azriel stared back, and just before leaving the cafe he said, “You deserve the truth, at least, (Y/N).”

________________________________

You’d thrown the letter into the fire. 

After making your way back to the Court of Nightmares, back to the cold stony walls of your father’s estate, you sent word to call to Eris. Your sentry escorted the male to your Court the next day, an offer he hadn’t thought twice about accepting. 

You’d worn your finest gown, a long black dress that pooled around your shoes, but was buttoned all the way up your neck. The fabric itself was as dark as your wings, black corset ensuring you sat tall and intimidating. You waited for Eris in the throne room, perched atop your father’s dark chair, a metal crown placed atop your head, jewels lacing your covered neck. 

The heiress of the Night Court, unafraid of the fiery Autumn male, not intimidated, not to be pushed around, not going to back down. 

Your guard led him into the room, hand placed on his sword, announcing his entrance. “My lady (Y/N), Eris Vanserra of the Autumn Court.” 

You peered down at him from the top of the throne, dropping only your eyes to the male, as you held your chin high and shoulders back. Your hands gripped the edges of the arm rests, though, as you willed yourself not to shake. You kept your wings outstretched behind you - the epitome of Nightmare. You nodded at the sentry, dismissing him, leaving you and Eris alone in the stone room. 

His gaze did not waver from you. He was nervous, of course, unsure of if you’d let him speak, and if you would even believe him should you hear him out. Never having seen you as powerful, he was prepared to drop to his knees and bow to you, the powerful female of Night. 

Despite the week of healing, you still saw the bruise under his eye, purple fading into yellow, and the still healing cuts along his bottom lip and cheekbone. It was truly a testament to how badly Cassian and Rhys had hurt him - that, or perhaps Beron, dealing out an additional punishment once he returned home already beaten. “Thank you,” he whispered, voice cracking despite the low volume. 

“Considering your attempts to reach me,” you began, leaning toward where he stood before you. “I would think you had something important to tell me.” He swallowed, throat bobbing beneath the tall collar of his sweater. You waited for him to nod, then continued. “I don’t want you to explain that night - ” your stomach turned and your heart hammered in your chest as you remembered how your brother’s friends delivered the news. How it rocked you to your core, the most unexpected news that disgusted every ounce of your being. “ - how long have you known?”

You couldn’t hold back the bite in your tone, and Eris all but flinched. His shoulders sagged a bit as he held his hands up in surrender, taking two steps closer to you. Those tall riding boots clanged against the cold floor, echoing in the hollow room. “I knew my father had been planning on making arrangements for my marriage - he’d been planning it since the day I was born. He had meetings in secret with your father, ones that I was not privy to.”

You let out a slow breath, narrowing your eyes at the male before you. “How long have you known?”

“It’s not that simple,” he said, holding himself back from holding his hands out toward you. As your sparkling eyes narrowed at him, the darkness from the corners loomed closer, strangling the light in the room. He took a nervous step closer to you, away from the pure night that cascaded around him. “Beron has planned for me to marry a different female - gods only know who - but your father disagreed. It was Keir who stepped in and - ”

“Eris,” you interrupted. 

“I’ve known since before you came to the Autumn woods, that very first night.” He did jut out a hand, still too far to reach you. “But I didn’t know who until just before the ball.” You bit your bottom lip, swallowing the words that threatened to pour out of your throat, willing away the tears that pricked the back of your eyes. At your silence, Eris panicked, filling the silence with more explanation. “I was going to tell you (Y/N), I swear it - that night, I was going to tell you everything. I wouldn’t go through with it.”

You nodded numbly. “Yet you didn’t.”

Eris inched closer, knee bent and foot propped on the first step on the landing up towards the throne. He ran a hand through his messy curls, the frustration clear on his face. “I know and it’s my fault but I saw you in that godsdamned dress and I just couldn’t. I would have after if they hadn’t barged in.”

After. Gods, you wanted to be so mad at him. So mad for his intention to bed you even with the knowledge of his betrothal. And with who. You wanted to be mad, but couldn’t help the butterflies that swirled in your stomach at the thought of him pressing you into the mattress, fucking you until all you could remember was his name. You pressed your legs together at the memory of his cock dragging against your core, even through the thin silk of your dress. Thankfully, your current gown was puffy enough that you thought he missed your subtle movement. 

He didn’t. 

Eris took another step closer, climbing up two steps at a time as he reached the top of the landing. It was then he who was peering down at you, standing taller than the back of the throne itself. “(Y/N),” he whispered, taking a knee before you. He pulled your left hand from the arm of the chair, the last lifeline you had to the real world. Darkness swirled around both of you, pure sparkling night to keep out any leering eyes and ears. His large pale hands cupped yours, warmth leeching your cool skin. “I would never marry her. I told my father - told your father - ” 

Your eyes flashed, a gasp parted your lips. Your father. It may have been him that had beaten Eris for disobeying his order, for ruining his plan to tie the courts together. Gods, it could have been the both of them - two mighty High Lords wielding their powers against the near defenseless male. 

“I told them I wouldn’t marry her. (Y/N),” he murmured, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss to each of the knuckles on the back of your hand. “I won’t listen to them.” With a final kiss, he brought his glowing eyes back up to yours. “I’ll leave my whole court for you. I need you - and only you.”

You stared at him, level with those hypnotizing red eyes, flames of burning passion pouring into you. He leaned into you, free hand curling around the back of your head, cheek brushing your thumb as he tilted your head. “I missed you dearly,” he whispered. “The most painful week of my life.”

You raised your other hand up to his face, holding his jaw in your palm. Your thumb traced the cut on his cheek, the nearly healed mark on his upper lip. He smiled ever so slightly as you traced over his lip, taking in all the damage that had been inflicted on the male. “I can see that,” you replied dryly, voice barely audible. 

He shook his head gently, not enough to disturb your hand pressed ever so lightly against his face. “No,” he breathed. He lifted your hand, still clasped together in your lap, and held your open hand against his chest. “In here, (Y/N). And I swear I won’t let them keep us apart anymore.” Eris pressed his lips against your palm. 

You pulled your hand away from him, off that soft corduroy, and held the other side of his face. Without any more hesitation, Eris bent forward and captured your lips with his. 

________________________________

You went to find Rhys later that night, once you’d sent Eris on his way back to Autumn. You didn’t want to dwell on it for too long, despite how much you missed the taste of his lips and that bonfire smell that laced his skin. 

You heeded Azriel’s advice to hear Rhysand’s side of the story, hoping he would at least make more sense of the situation. And you’d been ignoring your brother for most of the time that you’d been back in the Night Court. “Nice of you to stop by,” he said once you walked into his bedchamber, finding him propped up at his desk, nose buried in a pile of books. 

You rolled your eyes, of course he was already keen to start a fight. “I could do us both a favor and just leave,” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. 

Rhys shut the book he was looking at and stared up at you, dark eyes exactly like your father’s. “You took it the wrong way - ”

“Wrong way, Rhys, really? Was there a right way to take that news? That you thought would be so funny to let Azriel and Cassian deliver?”

Rhys failed to suppress the smile that leached up on his lips, reminiscing in the memory of his friends delivering that blow to Eris. He shook his head, frowning a bit to hide the smile. “It wasn’t meant to be funny, it was meant to keep him away from you. I told you to stay away from him, didn’t I?”

You stared at your brother in his I told you so power trip. “You could have told me beforehand instead of barging into my room like that.”

“I wasn’t expecting to but when Azriel told me he was in your room alone with you I had no other choice, (Y/N). You should be thanking me for keeping him away from you.”

You scoffed, eyes widening. “First of all, you did nothing to keep him away from me. And secondly, I don’t even want to be away from him - ”

“I did more than you know,” he muttered, eyes flitting back to the pile of papers on his desk. When you stared at him, waiting for him to continue, he stood, mirroring your position, arms crossed and glaring at you. “For all you know, you would have ended up stranded in the Autumn Court married to that fool.”

You weighed each word carefully, unsure what to even say. 

Married to that fool. 

Married. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, dropping your head in your hand, fingers rubbing at your forehead. “So you let them go and offer him baby Morrigan instead?” You were nearly yelling at him, the mountain of information swirling in your head, unable to hear yourself even think, let alone speak. 

Rhys was near flabbergasted. “I didn’t know Keir would get into the mix - for fuck’s sake they would have taken your wings! It’s the Autumn Court, (Y/N), they’re sick! I would have dealt with her later, I have eighteen years to do it! You didn’t have time - but now you do. I ensured it - you can find someone here, stay here where you’ll be safe.”

“Keeping me here is not keeping me safe, Rhysand,” you replied, leveling your gaze at him. “I’m a fucking prisoner here. You never let me fly, you forbid me of seeing any other courts - I’m bored here, I’m so sick of it here - ” your voice dropped. “Nothing’s been the same since mom died. And trying to pretend nothing happened, keeping everything exactly the same…” you sighed. “It’s not working, Rhys.”

He stood unmoving and unwavering, processing your words. “You have to trust me, (Y/N).”

You shouldn’t have been surprised he still thought he was right, the male had never thought of himself being in the wrong before. “I do but you have to trust me.” 

With that, you turned on your heel, gathering up your skirts and leaving his room. He didn’t try to stop you - he’d be dumb if he couldn’t figure out where you were headed. 

You made a pit stop in your bedchamber, removing your long heavy dress for a short, thin shift, hidden under a long wool coat. You dove off the balcony without a second thought, dropping off the cliff amongst the cold air. Half of you almost didn’t want to stretch out your wings, instead just disappear into the fog collecting in the dark valley. 

But the other half of you called to Eris, to the warm fire and colorful leaves. 

You flew faster than you ever had, the cold wind nipping at your ears and biting your cheeks. Rhysand’s words rang in your head, about your planned marriage to Eris. Surely you would have felt different about the male, had you been introduced to him as your betrothed. On the other hand, you wondered if Eris knew you were set to be married. That would have been something he’d have told you today - you prayed to the Mother you were right. 

You weren’t going to slow down, not as you rushed through the mountains and through the cold air of Winter. You didn’t stop until you saw the red trees approaching, until you smelled the sweet cinnamon in the air and the burning logs in the distance. You didn’t stop, even as Rhysand’s words rattled around your head: they would have taken your wings. 

Eris met you the minute you landed, winnowing to your spot in the woods - the clearing you’d last met at. He pulled you straight into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest and running his hand through your loose hair. His warm palm hovered over your ear, warmth swirling through your bloodstream. You sighed into him, his warm spiced scent wrapping around you. 

“We can’t stay here,” he whispered, lips brushing against your forehead as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “The guards are looking for you - they were onto you the moment you crossed the border.”

You turned up to face him, unable to unwrap your arms from where they were clasped behind his back. Your wings ached, chest heaving with desperation for air. “I - ”

Eris shook his head, kissing the cold tip of your nose. His hand brushed up your back, dangerously close to where your wings stemmed out from under your coat. It sent shivers down your spine. “Let me take care of you, (Y/N),” he whispered, red eyes burning into yours.

Without much more than a nod, Eris winnowed you out of the woods into a warm wood cabin. A fire was roaring in the hearth, reaching out toward Eris, crawling to its master. The floor and walls were lined with mahogany of the deepest brown, thick tapestries and portraits hanging on the walls. In the corner sat a large bed, plush blankets and fur throws piled high on the mattress. You gazed upward at Eris, still holding you in his arms, face barely illuminated in the soft candle light. His eyes were soft, glinting with red as he smiled down at you, eyelashes casting shadows down his cheekbones. He curled a piece of hair around your ear and brushed his thumb along your jawline. He bent down toward you, offering you a small kiss. “They won’t find us here,” he whispered, still holding you against his chest. “I have a little hideout close to the coast. Sorry it’s a little small but - ”

“It’s perfect,” you whispered, stretching up on your tiptoes to kiss him again. He hummed against your lips, dragging his hands over your sides and up to the claps that held your coat together. He deftly unhooked the garment, dragging the heavy wool over your shoulders. It hung off your back, buttons under your wings still fastened. 

You stifled a laugh, taking a step back from Eris and breaking your kiss with a giggle. “This is new,” he muttered, waiting as you grabbed the tail of your coat, quickly unhooking the final buttons and dropping the coat. 

His eyes widened, lips parted slightly as he took in your clothes - what little remainder of them still hung on your body. The silk black nightgown didn’t leave much to the imagination, dipping low on your chest and stopping short under your hips. His eyes traveled the expanse of your chest, down to the swell of your hips and strong thighs. He licked his lips, staring at you with hungry intention. “If you don’t mind, (Y/N),” he began, hand falling to your hip as he stepped closer to you. “I’d like to finish what we started in your bedroom.”

You nodded, tipping your head back to allow him to kiss you. You offered him a smile, gazing up at him from under your eyelashes. “You said we should have our privacy now, no?”

“Not unless your Shadowsinger decides to stop by,” he grumbled, hoisting you up by the back of your thighs and pulling you into his arms. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist and hummed, sticking your head in the crook of his neck, kissing the side of his neck. “If he does,” you replied, teeth dragging over the corner of his jaw. “He can just watch.”

Eris barked out a laugh, one that vibrated your lips against his neck. He gave your ass a light squeeze, his palm spreading over the expanse of your backside. “Little minx. I have no idea what goes on in that Court of yours,” he muttered, dropping a knee to the mattress, still holding you against him. “And I think I may be too jealous to find out.”

Your hand curled upward around the back of his neck, fingers intertwining in his red hair. “Then show me how an Autumn heir fucks,” you breathed, pressing your core against the front of his trousers. 

Eris breathed a sigh of expletives, laying you down on the plush throws before him. Your legs remained bent at his sides, letting him settle between your legs, staring down at you. He dragged a line down your leg, from your knee to your thigh, as he took in your beauty. “I’m not going to fuck you, (Y/N),” he murmured, fingers carefully pushing up the hem of your shift. “We have many nights ahead, where I will fuck you into this very bed - so hard you’ll be begging me to stop.” You shivered beneath his touch as the silk pooled around your waist. “Tonight, I’m going to show you how sorry I am. Show you how much you really mean to me.”

He dipped his head toward yours, so close that all you had to do was lift your head and purse your lips to reach him - before he pulled back, dropping his head to your chest, kissing a line across your breasts, licking your nipple through the silk. You huffed a sigh and dropped your head back into the mattress, arching toward him as he pressed his tongue against the smooth dress. “Eris,” you moaned when his head traveled farther down, just until his nose brushed against your belly, lips touching your slit. 

“That’s it, (Y/N).” His hands traveled the expanse of your thighs, prying them open and pressing them against the blankets. “So ready for me.” He licked a long stripe up your pussy, hot and writhing and begging. 

You arched up into him, yelping out in surprise as he flicked your clit. You’d been waiting for that moment, to have Eris buried between your legs - but nothing you imagined could have compared. Not as his tongue teased you around your clit, only touching the sensitive bud so rarely, only when you were begging for him to do so. “Please, Eris,” you called, ankles crossed over his back. 

He stuck his tongue upwards, curling up between your folds, making its way inside of you. As you lifted your hips, trying to shift your position so that his tongue met your clit, he smiled, turning his head to bite the inside of your thigh. Eris laughed at your shaking breath, finally giving in and licking a stripe up your clit. He directed his ministrations to bringing you to orgasm, flicking his tongue back and forth over the bud. 

You grabbed a fistful of his hair, crying out as your legs shook wildly. He held you in place, which just so happened to involve your thighs clenched tightly around his head. He would have smiled if he hadn’t been so caught up with taking you over the edge, obsessed with how you were crossed between holding him in place and pushing him away. Your stomach clenched, arched off the bed as you rode out your orgasm. 

Eris was hesitant to move, unsure if he ever wanted to move or just spend the rest of his days buried between your thighs. Eventually he moved, not without pressing a kiss to your sensitive clit. He stepped backwards, watching as you laid limp on the bed, so blissfully fucked, watching his movements with half lidded eyes. He stripped out of all of his clothing, unable to wait any longer with how hard his cock was pressing against his tight trousers. 

He had a lean build, muscle coiled around his long limbs. You made out a few scars across his pale chest, ones you’d be able to make out better once you had some better light. The candle light didn’t do justice to his build, though you vowed to spend the next night exploring his body. As you eyes the heavy dick that hung between his legs, standing at attention, your mouth ran dry, but only one thing was on your mind. He crawled on top of you, propping himself over you with an elbow beside your head. 

“I can’t go back there, Eris,” you breathed, staring up at his red eyes. Your fingers brushed over his pointed ear, over the soft curls that fell around his face. “I can’t go back.” You weren’t sure if it was the post-orgasm haze that made you never want to leave Eris and his bed, or it was that one percent of you that was still scared of what came after, when you inevitably had to go.

“You never have to go back, I swear it.” His brows furrowed in determination, in sincerity. His lips pressed into a firm line as he nodded down to you. 

“Do you think Autumn will look good on me?” You whispered, smiling up at him. 

He sighed, pressing his body into you. As his chest met yours, stomach pressed together, his cock fell forward, hanging between your bodies. The tip touched your belly, heavy and ready, precum leaking from the tip. You hummed as you fit your hand between the two of you, running your palm over his lengthy cock. “You look good in my bed,” he replied, kissing your lips. “You look good in nothing at all.” You rubbed his dick, wrapping your palm around him and pumping a few times. “You will look good in Autumn red, in my colors.” His lips found your neck as he licked a long path over the curve of your neck, biting down as you moved his cock to tease the tip between your folds. He had already made a mess between your legs, the sound of his dick rubbing at your entrance sang through the room. “And you will look so fucking good as my wife.” He sighed, along with you, as he pushed his cock forward, sliding inside of you with ease. 

You could have cried with how far Eris pushed into you, how he slid so far, all the way until he was fully hilted inside of you. He let out a shaky breath, pulling all the way out before sliding back in slowly, savoring every moment. He had come so close to this so many times, so many times that he had to fuck his fist with the thought of that sweet caramel running over your chest. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him forward, meeting him in a messy kiss. His tongue met yours, lips sloppily sliding over yours as he devoured you. His hand moved between you to grab a handful of your breast, to flick your nipple and squeeze the plump flesh. 

You curled your legs around him, holding your hips off the bed to allow a better angle for him to fuck you, for him to push his cock all the way inside of you - just a bit farther. Enough to have the tip of his cock pressing against your belly, aching in your womb. 

You grabbed his hand, the one squeezing your breast as you held it to your lips, kissing each of his fingertips. His eyes traveled from watching where the two of you were connected, where his cock slid in and out of your pussy so effortlessly, so perfectly, to your eyes. You let him watch you move his hand over your shoulder, holding it just above the bone of your wing. His brows crossed, and his hips faltered for the first time all evening. 

You nodded, holding him by the wrist as his thumb met the dark leathery skin. You jumped in surprise, despite the anticipation of him touching such a private extension of yourself. Eris let out a shaky breath as your cunt clenched around him, the involuntary reaction so unexpected. He smiled through his shock, letting his index finger run along the bone. 

“Eris,” you nearly begged, crossing your ankles around his back, pulling him back into you further. He snapped out of his fixation, leaning over you again, letting his cock sink all the way back into you. He rocked back and forth, barely moving as he rutted against your front. You moaned, his dick rubbing the sweet spot inside of you. His hands pulled you up, hoisting you by the small of your back as he fell back to sit on his knees. 

Eris settled you on his cock, earning a breathless sigh as he pierced you even deeper than he had before. You steadied yourself by letting your feet fall to the mattress on either side of him, bouncing yourself slowly on his dick. His hands moved from your back to your ass, squeezing as he moved you even more, riding him harder and harder. 

When your head tipped back, sighing in pure bliss, his hands rose to where your wings stemmed from your back, swirling around the soft skin of your back. Your breath shuttered, anticipation of his next movement stirring in your blood. Your eyes had fallen shut and you gripped his shoulders for dear life, still rocking back and forth on his cock as his fingers traced down your spine between your wings. 

You dug your fingernails into his shoulder, earning a growl from the male below you. He traced the outer shell of your wing, the hard bone from the base to the crux of the bend. You squeezed your legs together, clenching around Eris as his featherlight touch ran back and forth. “Eris - I can’t - ” You choked out a breath, squeezing your eyes shut and sitting straight, dropping your forehead against his. 

He hadn’t known what it felt like to touch your wings, and wouldn't have imagined how soft they felt. He sure as hell couldn’t imagine how it felt for you - but he wasn’t expecting to wield such a reaction out of you. “Yes you can, (Y/N),” he dipped down and pressed a kiss to your lips, watching as you came on his cock. He only dropped his hands when he absolutely had to, when you had come so hard your legs shook, unable to hold yourself up. He lifted you up and down slowly, moving you forward and back so your clit brushed against his pelvis as you came. You harshly gasped as the sensitive bud rubbed against his skin, against the coarse hair trailing from his navel. “My fucking good little bat,” he breathed, kissing your jawline. You exhaled a steady breath, hands hanging limply over his back, legs flexed but lack, letting Eris still move you atop his lap. 

As he moved his lips over the crook of your neck, he blew cool air over the arch of your wing, causing them to widen and flex behind you, as you clenched around him for the final time, riding out the remainder of your orgasm. Eris came as you slid over him, shivering as his orgasm took over and he came into you, painting your insides. He ran hot, body temperature raising as he groaned, rutting into you with fever. 

You curled your arms around him again, letting him lower you back to the mattress, legs hooked around his waist. Eris simply settled back between your legs, holding you close to his burning chest as he nuzzled his face into your neck. You didn’t want to let him go, for him to move and pull his cock from you. You could spend the rest of your life wrapped in his arms in his bed. 

And Eris felt the same. “Stay with me, (Y/N),” he whispered, running his hand over your messy hair.

Your heart swelled. “Here?” You but your lip, if he asked you to stay in Autumn, you would. No matter threat threats your brother or Beron would attempt, you would stay beside Eris.

“Gods, anywhere,” he replied, voice muffled in the crook of your neck. “Just with me, (Y/N), please.”

You pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. “Anywhere. Always.”

[imwall-e]

You and Us - CHAPTER 1

Pairing : Sebastian Stan x Reader x Bucky

Warning : 18+, MINOR DNI, smut, fluff, injuries, angst, Bucky x reader for this chapter, TELL ME IF I MISSED SOME

Summary : Sebastian is mistaken for Bucky by Hydra agents. Wounded but alive, he is taken into the protection of the Avengers. There he meets Bucky, his look-alike, and his girlfriend, Y/N. When Bucky notices that the actor is attracted to the woman he loves, an idea comes to him...

You woke up, snuggled up in your super soldier’s arms. A ray of sunshine was crossing his face, but he was still asleep which didn’t happen often due to his nightmares. Bucky hated them. First, because he always woke up in sweat, scared, not recognising the place where he was. Second, it meant he ruined your night because you woke up to his screams. However, you always told him that he never bothered you. You wanted to be here for him, in his best moments and in his worst. Because what you felt for him was indescribable. Most people described it as fireworks or butterflies. But for you, it was more powerful than that. It was like you found a part of yourself you didn't know was missing.

And as you were together for around three years now, you finally asked him to share a room together. All the team lived in the Stark Tower, renamed the Avengers Tower after the Loki incident a few years ago. So you asked Tony if it was possible to have a floor for you and Bucky. It was a way to have your own apartment together until you found your own little place.

And sometimes it was him who found himself in your arms in the morning. It meant that it was a difficult night : nightmares, screams. But today, everything was perfect.

« I can feel you staring, dragostea mea, » he said, his eyes still closed. A smile spread across your face. You loved how he knew you so well, he always knew what you were doing without looking at you, always knew what you were thinking without you having to say a word.

« I can't take my eyes off of your handsome face, Navy, » you chuckled, a hand in his hair. You chose this nickname based on the colour of his orbs. « How did you sleep ? » you asked.

« Really well, nightmares are less and less present. Especially when we’re together. But what I prefer is when I wake up next to you, and that we have time for ourselves, » while he was saying that, you found yourself under him, his face in your neck. He was now kissing this sensitive spot right behind your ear, and you knew how this morning was about to begin.

While Bucky sometimes loves to fuck you hard, be in charge and hearing you begging him and calling him Sergeant, mornings are always soft moments. He never verbalised it, but you knew it was a way to thank you. Because you accepted him despite his past. Because you’re always here. Because you let him take control when you were together, therefore reminding him that he was free. Because you were in love with him.

His mouth slowly moved from your neck to your collarbone and to your nipple. While he was sucking on the left one, his right hand was massaging the other. He then stopped, looking at you, his eyes full of love. His metal hand was near your entrance. You were already so wet and couldn’t wait for Bucky to touch you, so you moved your hips trying to get him to go further. But Bucky was Bucky and he asked : « Can I ? » He was always looking for your permission. « Yes », you answered, desperation in your voice. 

He kissed you softly and gently put a finger inside you. He was gentle in his movements, but you could feel he wanted to be inside you. « James, don’t make us wait any longer. » You didn’t need to tell him twice and he pushed his cock in your pussy. You wrapped your legs around his waist, making him go deeper. He hit that spot, the one that got you closer to the edge, with each thrust. But what made you hit your climax were the Romanian and Russian words he whispered that you couldn't understand. He had one hand on your hip, the other on the mattress and you kept yours on his shoulders as if you were going to fall. You came as he was still inside you and followed you not long after.

« We should get prepared, right ?, » he asked, his head on your chest. You were caressing his back, and smiled : « Yes, I think we’re late. » But neither of you moved. « We can still have another round in the shower, » you suggested. Bucky looked at you, stood up and put you on his shoulder, making you laugh. You were definitely going to be late. 

After a long, really long but relaxing shower, you were back in the room and getting prepared when Sam entered the room, his eyes firmly closed : « Please be dressed, please be dressed ! And we’re waiting for you, the reunion started ten minutes ago. Bucky, I really hope you’ve packed because we’re leaving in two hours. And Y/N, if you can convince Mr. Metal Arm to not give me his staring face during our mission, I’ll find your favourite actor and arrange a meeting for you with him. »

« Sebastian Stan ? I may think about it, but Bucky has no staring problem, he always has a soft look. At least that is the one he has for me. »  

« You’re both so annoying, » he said before leaving.

« So, » Bucky started, a smirk on his face, « Sebastian Stan ? »

« You know he is my favourite actor, and he looks like you so I kinda want to meet him. » You and Bucky already talked about your crush on the actor, and he loved teasing you about it. Sometimes he was a bit scared but you always reassured him : he was the man you chose. « Come on, Navy. We’re late. »

The meeting lasted an hour. It was mostly a recap of what Sam and Bucky will have to do during the next few days : infiltrate a former Hydra base. There were rumours that Hydra was back, only small groups but some heard that they were trying to gather and were preparing something. It wasn’t a dangerous mission, just take them down if some agents were there, and bring back some information. You prepared this mission, everything will be fine. But you couldn't help feeling scared. Bucky sensed it and put his hand on your thigh, gently caressing it so you could relax. The rest of the meeting was just talking about changing headquarters, welcoming new superheroes, etc.

When you all separate, Bucky and you went back to your room and he finished packing. As always when one of you was going on a mission without the other, you held each other for a moment. Soon, it was time for him to leave and you accompanied him to the Quinjet.

« I’m gonna miss you, » you told him.

« I’m gonna miss you too, dragostea mea. But I promised it won’t be a long mission. It never is when you’re the one organising everything. »

He was supposed to go now, Sam was waiting for him next to the jet. « I was thinking », Bucky started, « when I come back, we could start looking for an apartment and maybe I’ll go on less mission so we could… » But he was interrupted by Sam : « Move your ass, Barnes. You’ll see her soon. But sex abstinence will be good for both of you. »

Bucky and you were laughing, promising to continue this discussion when he’ll come back. And as you watched the jet take off, you couldn’t help but feel this ball of anxiety tightening your chest, like it did every time he went on a mission.. But it was worse if it was related to Hydra. You were always scared for his safety and for his mental health. You didn’t want to lose him. You took a deep breath and got back inside.

« You’re not focused, Y/N », Natasha remarked after throwing you once again on the floor. Everyday before lunch you were training together. She recruited you almost ten years ago when you were in the army. She saw your potential. Even after all these years, it was still very rare for you to beat her.

« You know how I am when Bucky is not here. And I don’t know, I just have this bad feeling. »

« Don’t worry about him, he is not alone and they can contact us if there is any problem. Okay, we’re gonna stop for today, I’m spending the holidays with my sister. »

Natasha reunited with her family two years ago and they were making up for lost time. A family. Was it possible for Bucky and you despite your jobs ? You were both so busy, would you have time to welcome someone else in your life and start something new ? Maybe you could find another job, something that wouldn’t require fighting and saving the world all the time.

« Earth to Y/N, » Natasha took you out of your thoughts. « I have to go. You should go out this afternoon so you won’t think too much, like you’re doing now. » Her comment made you chuckle. You stood up and sent a message to Wanda. Shopping with her was always a good way to feel better. 

After your shower, you joined her in the downtown area. You wanted to buy a dress for your Christmas with Bucky. He planned a surprise for you and you had an idea of what it might be. « I want to know everything ! » Wanda said, excitement in her voice.

« I think he is going to propose. » A smile lighted up your face.

« I hope he will ! »

« Me too ! Because if he doesn’t, I'll be the one doing it. »

The afternoon with Wanda helped you forget about your fears. You even found a beautiful and sexy red dress that will make Bucky go insane when he’ll see you wearing it. After that, Wanda and you stopped by a café and ate some pastries. 

At the end of the day, Steve and you were the only one left in the meeting room. Avengers didn’t have a lot of holidays, but this year had been calm and Christmas was important to everyone. Tony and Pepper went back to their new house they bought a week ago. Wanda and Vision decided to celebrate Christmas in Italy and headed to the airport two hours ago. Natasha said she wanted to spend the end of the year with her sister. Thor went back to Asgard with his brother. And Hulk decided to travel around the world to help people.

« Did you buy something for Sam ? » you asked Steve.

« Nothing yet, why ? And why Sam especially ? » You could see the Captain blushing.

« Oh come on Steve ! Bucky and I noticed the glances you and Sam exchanged during the meetings. Why didn’t you tell us ? »

« Because there is nothing to say. We’re just flirting, nothing more. I don’t know why, but I’m scared. »

« Well, if that can reassure you, Sam told me he… » But you couldn’t finish your sentence as Hydra’s symbol appeared on the screens. Steve and you looked at each other, fear visible on your faces. What was going on ? And how did they hack into the Stark’s network ? A robotic voice interrupted your thoughts.

We’re getting our weapon back

You were about to call Fury, but a video replaced the red logo. Despite the blood on his face, you recognized him. Your hands were shaking and tears rolled down your face as you realised that your worst fear came true : Hydra captured Bucky.

To be continued...

[cannedbeefaroni]

do you do NSFW alphabets? if so could you do one for eli? :)))

Eli Sunday NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s crying. He’s unable to control his emotions after climaxing. His post nut clarity would be an absolute nightmare, so he would either need to be held tenderly or to be left completely alone so he can sulk (depending on his mood). 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s a massive prude, so he loses his mind over the slightest bit of immodesty. He loses his composure at the sight of exposed collarbone, chest, shoulders, and even legs. I think his brain would short circuit if he saw an entirely nude body, that's why he’d prefer clothed sex. I think he’d cry upon seeing someone’s bare breasts. He definitely fixates on the chest area more than others. 

His partner would love his ass. He’s got a nice bubble butt. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He swallows as to not waste any semen.

D = Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He gets constant boners. He’s usually unable to relieve himself, but even when he gets the chance he most likely won't. When he’s doing his weird faith healer preaching bullshit his dick probably leaks a little in his pants. He’s way too into it. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s very experienced, but he swears he’s a virgin. Let’s just say he’s been around the block. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’s a bottom forever. He wants to be on his knees, ass up, face down, getting railed. He’d also love sucking dick because he’s obsessed with serving others. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Yes but unintentionally. He says phrases such as “oh! Great heavens!” and “oh dear!”

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I don’t think people shaved their body hair back then. I don’t think he’d shave at least tbh. He would have lighter body hair so it wouldn't be all that noticeable anyway. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

He’s very back and forth on romantic intimacy. There are times where he feels blissed out and totally in love during the act, and other times he’ll feel mostly ashamed. When he feels romantic he’s very obsessive and praises them as if they’re a gift from god. 

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

He masturbates a lot. Multiple times a day. Sometimes he cums untouched. He has to relieve himself in the fucking haybales surrounded by smelly bleating goats as they drown out his sobbing, because it’s the only place he has privacy. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Hierophilia all the way.  He wants to be degraded for being the disgusting man whore he is as he prays for forgiveness, clutching a rosary as he gets railed. He wants to be a good little lamb for his dom and crave their praise. He wants to be manhandled and slapped around like a stupid little fuckdoll. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Probably in a bed considering it would be so rare for him to be able to do it in one without being caught. However he loves getting fucked in church, even if he finds it detestable to do. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Big strong men, especially if they’re in either tight or revealing clothing. He also likes older men (COUGH COUGH DANIEL PLAINVIEW COUGH). 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He is gay he wouldn’t fuck women (in my opinion). 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He is obsessed with sucking cock. He is a natural born cocksucker. He needs his throat abused by a big dick. He comes from giving oral alone. If he had his dick sucked or ass ate his eyes would roll to the back of his head and he would ascend. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He fucks like a rabbit. He’s just so horny he can't help it. Usually he isn’t the one to set the pace, but while riding he goes pretty fast. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Most of his sexual encounters would have to be pretty quick in fear of being walked in on. He usually wants more but beggars can't be choosers. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Everything about him having sex (especially with men, no less) is a risk, so I’d say yes. He’d probably be down for anything. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

His dick might be comatose tbh. Sometimes he’s unable to cum at all and other times he cums randomly. That religious trauma does numbers on your cock ngl. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He would love having any phallic shaped object up his ass. He would shove a crucifix up his ass then cry in guilt after. 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He’s a bitchy little whiny brat. He thinks he’s so fucking funny and smart but he’s just annoying. He needs to be put in his damn place. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Too loud. Needs a gag during sex. He’s screaming and hollering. 

W = Wild card (A random headcanon for the character)

Not rly a headcanon but he has a big fat ass. 

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Beautiful dick. about 7 inches, perfect girth to length ratio, perfectly circumcised, very smooth, the skin of it is soft. He would however be shy about his dick size, thinking it's obscene, worried that it can't be concealed well. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

On a scale of 1 to 10 he would be a solid 95 

Z = Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

I don’t think he sleeps.

[hyperfixation-or-death]

answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

i'm answering all of them >:)

Not a lot, just three on one arm and two on the other, I think. The three are in a triangle shape though! (edit: i looked in the mirror; i have one on my collarbone that i forgot about.)

I like both, but I drink coffee way more often. I drink coffee with a slightly unreasonable amount of creamer. I like the green tea that's infused with peach flavor, and I drink it plain.

It was either Remember Them by Jorge Rivera-Herrans, or Glory and Gore by Lorde.

Either stomach or side, I don't remember.

I technically have several stuffed animals somewhere on my bed, but the main one that I sleep with is a very long stuffed cat, like a squishmallow, but long. She is excellent, I use her as a pillow a lot.

6. Writing!! I've been getting into drawing lately, too, but writing is my favorite thing on earth.

7. Just one large blanket, so it doesn't get tangled.

8. Probably the Crane Wives!

9. May 19th.

10. Short enough for my entire family to make short jokes at my expense, apparently.

11. Blue.

12. My queerplatonic bf. My little sister. This creature I dreamed about the other night that was a combo of a panther, dog, and bear and also loved me. My beloved mutual @ashclouds366 (hi <3). And you, I am metaphorically hugging you right at this very moment. >:)

13. When I was in first grade, I read the magic tree house book, High Tide In Hawaii; it was about a tsunami. Despite living in a landlocked state at the time, it freaked me out. To this day, the majority of my nightmares are about tsunamis, and I don't know why.

14. Green!! <3

15. Maybe fall? Either fall or winter; I like the cooler weather, and I feel like spring and summer don't have as many holidays as the colder months do. Also summer is the season of existential crises, and spring is the season of being bored and wishing it was either winter or summer.

16. I love tattoos in theory; in practice, I don't think I have a very good pain tolerance. But if that wasn't an issue, I think I'd get some kind of green plant that symbolized something cool. Or something with some kind of sun imagery, that would be neat.

17. Previous issue of pain tolerance, but if i could get an eyebrow piercing, I think that would solve literally all my problems. I love eyebrow piercings. They're awesome.

18. At the time of reading this, it was my family's group chat, but then I texted my sister a keysmash in all caps in response to some screenshot she sent me.

19. Well. I have anxiety around calling people my best friends, because what if it's a one-sided sentiment, or whatever. But if it weren't for that anxiety, I would say that a long distance friend of mine (who I am not naming in case she sees this) is probably my best friend. We've been friends since eighth grade. She's awesome. <3

20. The aforementioned friend, eating grilled cheese, not having a cold, and watching Parallels. (Technically, nothing's stopping me from watching Parallels right now, but I still haven't watched it in a while, so I miss it.)

21. Not too bad; I had a cold, I had some fun conversations, I fell asleep at one point and briefly forgot what day it was, and I had some pretty good pasta. Kind of all balanced out.

22. Not a lot; had to stay up past 1 AM writing a current events paper that I left to the last second.

23. When it comes to complex aliens, I feel like it could go either way, honestly. But I think that things like alien bacteria species or simple organisms like that definitely exist. I don't know a lot about aliens, though, so take that with a grain of salt.

24. I think it was last week? I was stressed about an essay, and I cry pretty easily.

25. I'm gonna pick the boring answer and say 2010's; I think there are good and bad things about all of history's decades, but since that one just finished up, it's all still fresh in the world's mind. Good things from the 2010's just off the top of my head: My dog was born, my little sister was born, Jorge Rivera-Herrans started working on Epic the musical, I met an incredible friend of mine, Into the Spiderverse came out, and I'm sure there's other good things I'm forgetting.

26. Oh, there's probably a lot. I've ended up absorbing a lot of what my younger siblings like. Can I admit that I saw the second paw patrol movie in theaters? My little brother is obsessed with paw patrol, so i've seen both the movies about a thousand times. and they're pretty good. as for kids' shows that i like, The Inbestigators is a fun show, and odd squad will never not be a cinematic masterpiece.

27. Ooh, probably a tie between When Did You See Her Last? (All The Wrong Questions, book 2) and Shouldn't You Be In School? (All The Wrong Questions, book 3). Haven't reread ATWQ in a while, but I love it, especially the two middle books in the series.

28. Emotionally? Doing great, I did a lot of fun stuff yesterday and I now feel socially fulfilled. Mentally? Kind of stressed, I have a huge paper due tonight that I still need to make an edit to. Physically? I'm on the tail end of a cold, so not as well as I could be.

29. Oh, absolutely. I was told just yesterday that I am the most indecisive person in existence, and I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. It's part of the reason it takes me so long to text people back.

30. I'm going to a concert for the first time this Thursday! Definitely looking forward to that.

31. Not sure how distant it would be, but I would love to take a creative writing class at some undetermined point in the future!

32. I would go to Texas, because I know people who live there that I would very much want to visit.

33. Closed, so that my dog doesn't sneak out to go wake up someone else in the middle of the night. Also, it keeps the cold air from escaping into the hallway, which is warmer.

34. Sunflowers!

35. short answer: yes. long answer: this is such a loaded question because i literally have an entire blog on another account dedicated to rambling about my love and appreciation and platonic pining/yearning for specific people. and i am resisting the urge to link to it because i know for a fact that one of the people i have rambled about on there follows me on this blog, and I will have you know that emotional vulnerability is Harder Than It Looks. but yeah, i get squishes a lot. people are so cool and nice and i love them all. <3

36. Kind of? It's pretty good for a middle name, I guess. I'm kind of neutral on it, since I don't hear it a lot. It's one syllable and it flows kind of nicely.

37. Extremely difficult question; I love them both. I only have a dog, though, so I might have to choose dogs out of loyalty to him. But in all honesty, I think I might love dogs and cats the exact same amount. They're both wonderful little creatures in completely different ways, y'know?

38. Nope.

39. Yes. I procrastinate on assignments a lot, and I'll have to do them the night before they're due, or I'll go on tumblr late at night. This past week, I've gotten very little sleep, and I'm definitely feeling the effects now.

40. I like the beach, it makes me kind of anxious at night, though. I like it sunny if I'm swimming, and cloudy if I'm just wandering around looking for shells.

41. Probably Ducktales 2017. Favorite episode is probably A Nightmare On Killmotor Hill. I also liked the Dragon Prince, but I haven't seen it in years, and I think I only made it a few episodes into season 3? So idk what any of the later seasons were like, but I really liked the parts of the show that I did watch.

42. Here's a few blogs + one of their main fandoms: @ven10 - very cool ASOUE posts. @aka-ar - very cool Parallels posts. @foxymc - very cool Ducktales posts. @ashclouds366 - very cool Ninjago posts. (also, if ocs count as a fandom, then also Incredibly Cool oc posts.) @platonic-moment-of-all-time - okay, this one's a tournament blog, but it's one i'm very invested in that (I think) is still waiting on submissions. Very cool tournament idea.

43. Yep! I'm the eldest of four. Two sisters, one brother.

44. My dad, I think the sentence was: "Okay, goodnight, love you!"

45. Depends on the circumstances; I would probably freeze up or have an anxiety attack if I was actually given the definite choice. There are a ton of people I'd definitely risk my life for without putting a lot of thought into it, but if it was a clear-cut situation where I knew for a fact one of us would die, I feel like I wouldn't be able to decide in time.

46. Physical contact and human interaction, without a doubt.

47. Yes.

48. Hm...tough question. I think I have different people who I would trust with different parts of my life. Like, depending on what my life was depending on, the person I would trust with it would probably change.

49. ...unfortunately, at the time I started writing this, the last text I sent was this:

(the context is that I have a cold, and I was annoying my family's groupchat with that information.)

50. Wildcard answer, uh. Well. I dreamed last night that I was in a timeloop. After I saved the person I was trying to save in the timeloop, I ran around yelling at everyone about how I solved the timeloop, no thanks to them. And then I stepped in mud while wearing socks, which was so annoying I almost woke up. But before I did, a limo rolled up and invited me to join some kind of organization due to the fact that I had time loop powers. Very interesting dream.

[yourflowersfirst]

day 1,499

i accepted and who i was and bloomed into something i never thought possible. i began to hug myself tightly every night before bed. i stroked my own hair lovingly, i traced along all my jagged edges that no one else dared to touch. the pads of my fingers became my own version of poetry. my kneecaps are my favorite thing to stare at some days.

no one else enjoys it. or me, for that matter. i must be a monster; i always get barren comments about the way i look. barren meaning horrible, rage inducing, in this context. some tell me i’m still too big, too huge, too blurred and smudged. i’m too heavy, ill crush you. i am always too much to some. overwhelming, physically and emotionally, im a girl who constantly needs more, more, more. these comments tell me to stop eating. stop being a fucking pig. run more, they say. 6 miles isn’t enough. make it 10 and maybe i’ll finally be tiny enough for them to get a boner.

other words spat at me tell me the opposite. that my boobs are too small, my bones too pointy. my teeth are too crooked, my collarbones too prominent, always pointing slightly slanted toward the sun. maybe you’re scared i’ll stab you while you sleep. the temptation is certainly there. you dont like the concave of my stomach. you tell me i am full of dust. empty. too small. i stopped wearing push up bras and began running, isn’t this what everyone wanted? you can count my ribs but i’m still too big for some, too little and meaningless for others. i always thought that if i got smaller, you’d find room for me in your life. “eat more,” you goad, under the pretense of care. “it’s better for you. i prefer you that way.”

the opposite of what i’ve been told my whole life.

some nights i wake up, sweaty, panting from the ptsd infused nightmare. i touch my skin, feel my lungs gulping in air. i know i’m home. no one else wants to settle in me, nest in the hollow of my pelvis. endless loneliness. i tell myself its better this way.

[calico-heart]

Because I have no chill, also for the kiss meme: X'rhun and Lyrha with #30 "as comfort"

For the exact opposite reason of my last request.

Thank you for the request! :3 Hope you enjoy!

(Ask me for a kiss! Help me get all 50!)

---

There were not many old adventurers. For much the same reason there weren’t many old pirates, heroes, foot-soldiers, or smugglers.

Violence begat death, and age only brought wisdom to those who had nourished it from the outset.

Many died young. Others tired of the life, saw the black waiting beyond, and chose a path of lesser glory – or realized there was no glory to be found at all in the road they walked. The arrogant who persisted fell to foolishness. They made enemies, or grew so jaded as to forsake friends, which was as good as the same. Survival on the edge of a blade belonged to the ruthless and the clever.

It was why grey-haired travelers with steel at their hips and in eyes alike were to be respected, if not outright feared. Conquerors and generals, admirals and nunhs – even these were not entirely the same. They commanded from high up. Few could hope to challenge them from such a position of strength. Even if well-earned, it was no longer the perilous life of a salt-booted wanderer.

It was why Lyrha had taken so long to believe that X’rhun was all he claimed to be. 

Forty was not old for a layman. But it was very old for a Duelist, who had not had a home in twenty years. 

And she hadn’t understood. How could a man who’d seen so much of the world lack the ambition to rule, yet retain the courage to fight?

Blinking, she took in a slow, deep breath, and nuzzled closer to his familiar warmth. Linen bandages across his torso rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Though rough to the touch, beneath them his heart still beat strong. Slow. It’d been honed to martial prowess like the rest of him, and what wounds he’d sustained in their last caper would mend soon enough.

A nightmare had woken her, regardless. In the dream she’d laid beside silence and cold, and no amount of shouting would rouse either. Her hands had been covered in blood not her own, spilled recklessly.

Because unlike X’rhun, all Lyrha had was what she pretended to be. 

Tremors left over from the malignant dream ran through her, and her claws curled faintly against his wrappings. She purred, more to soothe herself than anything. Eventually scattered thoughts would settle, and sleep would return – her usual preference for fresh air was unthinkable now with his injury to look over. 

But her fidgeting disturbed him. Lyrha’s ears pinned at the change in breathing, the sudden thrum of his heart, and knew it before his eyes cracked open. 

“Your wounds–?” He asked through a waking fog, hand lifting to cover hers atop his chest.

Her wounds, as if his held no consequence. She glanced aside, resisting the urge to pull her hand back. “No. Jus… enjoyin’ t’view,” She lied automatically. And camouflaged it with a truth, “Didn’t mean t’wake ye.”

Pale blue eyes narrowed faintly, and he offered back a faint chuff – too quiet for most to hear, but not a Miqo’te. Then reached his other palm up to stroke behind her ear. Lyrha leaned into it, brow scrunching. His kindness nearly hurt worse than all the rest combined.

“I would suggest a diverrsion…” He started to chuckle, winced mutely. “But I fear that will have to be postponed till a later night, when we are better equipped for the task.”

Smiling lopsidedly, Lyrha squinted her eyes open and purred a little louder. “Well, we’rre not entirrely ‘elpless, arre we?” Propping herself up carefully, she leaned over him and pressed a kiss to his bandaged chest. Chaste. For her, anyway. 

“It might be prudent to remind you that complications, should any occur, would be rather difficult to explain discreetly. We were ordered to rest quite emphatically.”

She placed another kiss to his collarbone. 

X’rhun tilted to offer better access with a quiet, “Mmmm. I see your villainy will not be easily dissuaded.”

The next kiss went to his neck. And here her teeth scraped into a gentle pinch. “Ship surrgeon I used’ta know insisted men healed fasterr when they ‘ad access t’pussy.”

“What a romantic notion,” X’rhun grimaced. “Entirely bereft of personal bias on his part, I’m sure.”

“It couldn’t hurrt to trry.” She made her way to his jaw. Here he tilted his lips to meet hers, mouth parting to invite her in. A gentle arm tugged her close.

And for a few easy seconds, Lyrha felt entirely safe. 

X’rhun took a slow breath, head sinking back to the pillow. “It could, actually.” He purred. “As you know very well, Cielo.” 

Her tail gave a twist as she sighed, twisting her body closer against his, “Maybe that’s parrt of te fun, eh?”

“I hope I need not express how tempting you are, Dear. But I would be more gratified to see you well rested and mended come morn.” He countered, but as he was not entirely heartless, he took the opportunity to nip her ear.

Lyrha flicked it and snickered.

“And then, I will be happy to engage you in whatever form of stretching you are so inclined to. You need only wait out the night.”

[aerodaltonimperial]

Prompt: A Moment Like This

(did i turn this into my favorite trope? you better believe i did. does this have anything to do with your prompt? FUCK I DUNNO, I JUST THOUGHT OF IT LMAO)

It's got to be past 2 AM; it has to be. Hook's too afraid to move, so he isn't entirely sure, but he knows he's been staring up at the ceiling for at least three hours now. He thinks he might be able to feign sleeping if he just remains perfectly still, except the other side of the bed is equally still, and truth be told, no one sleeps without shifting a little bit. It means they're both absolutely atrocious as pretending to be asleep. This is a nightmare—although an actual nightmare would be preferable, because then at least Hook would eventually wake up and be alone. Not sharing a bed with the person he hasn't spoken to in months. Not stuck in a hell of his own making, the result of mistaken hotel reservations and being in the wrong place at the wrong time and fuck, why couldn't Hook have just picked up the phone months ago?

Oh, Christ, he isn't going to sleep at all, is he? He's going to be dead on his feet for this match tomor—today, and he's got no one to blame but himself. And then, finally, there's movement on the other side of the bed, a sigh followed by repositioning against the pillow. Hook sucks in a deep breath and holds it until his lungs burn.

"Can't sleep?" Danhausen asks, the first one to break the silence that had engulfed them as soon as they'd stepped into the room. Fuck this whole fucking situation; Hook thinks he's going to die.

But Danhausen braving the stalemate helps to loosen a tiny bit of the anxiety iced around Hook's heart. He swallows, trying to work the lump down. "No."

"Hook needs to be well-rested for tomorrow."

"No shit," Hook says.

"No swearing," comes the half-hearted response.

"Come on," Hook sighs. The conversation has rattled everything free, so he lifts a hand to run a hand through his hair. "Can you just be serious?"

Danhausen rolls a little, enough that Hook can see his unimpressed expression out of the corner of his vision. It's starker without the paint on top, somehow both easier and more difficult to read at the same time. "Hook thinks Danhausen isn't serious."

"I think..." No good can come of this. Hook snaps his jaw shut again. "I think it doesn't matter."

"Actually, Danhausen thinks everything matters, especially this."

"I really don't want to talk about it," Hook says.

"Too bad," Danhausen replies, sharp. "As luck would have it, Hook doesn't have much of a choice; you're stuck here, and so am I. Might as well talk about it."

Hook growls, sound reverberating in his throat. "I'll go sleep in the bathtub."

"Ridiculous," Danhausen says, though he does sound a bit cross.

"Am I?" Hook shoots back.

"Yes." Danhausen shifts upright fully, propped up on one elbow. The neckline of his T-shirt, loose in the way he's always preferred for sleeping, droops down low enough to reveal the slant of his collarbone and the edges of his chest tattoo. He looks deeply unimpressed. "Hook is. And do you want to know why?"

"No, but I bet you'll tell me anyway."

"Hook should have said something when we first got into the room."

Hook growls again, with more force this time. "You should have said something when we got to the room!"

"Danhausen is pretty tired of everything being his fault," he says, cross.

"I didn't say that. Stop putting words in my mouth."

"Easy to do when Hook fails to put any of his own there for months."

Hook sits up, throwing the blankets off. The room is all of a sudden way too hot, stifling; he's being choked by everything within. He twists to get up in Danhausen's face, if only because it feels good to finally feel something. "No. I'm not letting you do this. We both stopped answering."

"Then we both should start talking again," Danhausen says.

"Talk about what."

Danhausen shrugs. "How about why everything stopped in the first place."

"How about no," Hook says.

"What else is there to talk about?" Danhausen asks. "How comfortable Hook thinks the bathtub will be?"

Christ, it has to be better than this: stuck in a bed far, far too small for all the baggage they brought in with them. Hook wants to tear his own hair out. "You are easily the most frustrating person I've ever known."

"Danhausen could say the same about Hook!" He looks angry again, eyes flashing, but it's hard to seem truly dangerous while as rumpled as Danhausen currently is. "Hook thinks he owes nothing to anyone, and yet here he is, demanding more than he's willing to give."

"I don't demand anything," Hook tries, but ah, fuck, it's weak. Danhausen is surprisingly good at getting his finger right on the pulse of things and pressing down just to feel the heart beat jump.

"Really?" Danhausen leans closer. "So tell me, you aren't demanding an explanation? You don't want to know?"

"You're just admitting it was you," Hook replies.

"No, Danhausen is admitting he knows what happened."

Hook scoffs, mirthless. "Oh, really? Then why did you ask?"

"To see if Hook was still running from it."

"I'm not running from anything," he says.

And quick as a wink, Danhausen moves; he's up and on his knees faster than Hook thought possible, darting across the blankets to straddle Hook's waist. The position alone blanks Hook's thoughts for too long—long enough to give Danhausen the upper hand. Danhausen's fingers wrap around Hook's wrists and push, pinning his arms to the pillow. Fuck, fuck—Hook wants to fight back, wants to slam his knees up and knock Danhausen to the floor, wants to argue the entire swell of emotion biting the back of his tongue, wants to—

"Tell me I'm wrong," Danhausen hisses, right next to Hook's face. "Tell me this isn't what you wanted the whole time."

"Fuck you," Hook seethes.

Danhausen doesn't bother to admonish him for the cursing a second time. Instead, he presses down closer, as though he's going to go in for—

Hook flips them, heels finding good purchase against the sheets. They tumble over until he's got his weight down on Danhausen's hips and his hands clawed over the man's wrists. He is not going to lose: not here, not now. Not like this. Not when there's so much riding on it. "You don't know what you're talking about," he says, voice low.

"Really?" Danhausen laughs, head thrown back against the pillow. "Danhausen is rarely wrong."

"Bullshit," is all Hook gets out before he's launched off, chest stinging from the impact. Danhausen's got speed Hook doesn't properly remember, and the power of months of bottled emotions, but Hook does, too. They scrabble against each other, and Hook can't even really tell what they're fighting over any more. He wraps his fingers around the back of Danhausen's neck just as Danhausen gets his leg looped around Hook's waist, spinning them again.

The man is laughing, sound grating; Hook wants to smack the grin off his face. He actually does reach up and gets his fingers swatted away, and in retaliation, throws a leg up against Danhausen's chest, his shoulder. Knocks him back and down so he can scramble up and over. They're at the end of the bed now, heads closer to the television stand than the headboard, and Hook presses down, palms flat against Danhausen's forearms, weight positioned on top of him. He glares down as his chest heaves. He hates, hates, hates—

With an expression far too smug, Danhausen throws one leg out and hikes it up around Hook's lower back, angling their hips together. Properly together, so he can push up into Hook and knock a groan out of his throat.

"Liar," Danhausen whispers, and it's not like Hook can argue it now, not now that he's hard and aching and Danhausen is rutting up into him, the sort of thing that's impossible to ignore.

"Maybe," Hook hedges, the best he can offer. It's already a betrayal.

Danhausen's hands snake up to tangle in Hook's hair at the back of his head, tug him roughly forward until their noses are close enough to brush together. "Is Hook going to keep fighting this?"

"Maybe," Hook repeats, but he doesn't really mean it, and Danhausen can see right through the lie. Danhausen jerks him close enough to mash their mouths together, more battle than kiss, really; it works. It really fucking works. Hook will let Danhausen bite at his bottom lip only so he can do the same right back, running his tongue over the offending skin after just to hear the man's throat rumble with delight. And yeah, maybe fighting this for so long was a dumb move, but Hook's never claimed to be particularly good at dealing with his emotions. It felt easier to avoid, until it wasn't, and this—he can work with this. He can work with the way Danhausen rises up to meet his hips, the way Danhausen's fingernails sink into his shoulders and drag down his back. He hopes they're leaving angry red welts behind.

"Hook is ridiculous," Danhausen whispers against Hook's mouth.

"Fuck you," Hook exhales, nipping along the man's lip again because he likes the groans trembling out of his chest.

Danhausen's mouth curves beneath Hook's, wide. "If Hook insists."

"Hook does," Hook mumbles, and swallows anything else Danhausen might decide to say by covering his mouth again, drinking the man in like he's drowning.

Danhausen's hands move to grip the sides of Hook's face, forceful and tight, as he pulls them apart just to say, "good," before dragging Hook straight back in once more.

It is. It really fucking is, especially the next morning, when Hook mouths lazy kisses against Danhausen's collarbone, the shirt long gone, licking the salt from Danhausen's chest where it's collected and dried, and Danhausen cords his fingers through Hook's hair in a possessive sort of grip Hook thinks he might never get enough of, mumbling Hook's name over and over as Hook traverses the expanse of his skin.

[zdux]

Heyyy i just recently read your poly!trepacard thing! I was wondering if i could get a little part 2? Just more headcanons about like who likes to kiss who where and what the reader does that they each like and OH! How does the sleeping go? Who’s big spoon? Who hogs blankets? Who wakes up first? You know? Totally cool if not! Love u ♥️

Yes absolutely! Sorry it took me a while to get to this, I'm slowly trying to post more writing again, college really does ya in lol. But anyway!

Polyamorous Reader X Alucard | Sypha | Trevor

Note: Doing this like the last one where all 4 are dating each other, and I'm gonna do my best to answer the questions mentioned above ^^

Alucard really likes kissing a few spots; your wrist, your neck, your lips, etc. The others tend to tease him a bit for liking the "classic vampire spots" but he just waves them off or kisses them to shut them up

Sypha has a lot more tender and sweet kisses, usually aiming for your hand, your temple, your forehead, and of your lips.

Trevor is a classic, mainly aiming right for the lips and usually only there, however if yall are being a bit more,,, "private" ;) he actually really likes kissing your collarbone and stomach. (What can I say he's a whore.)

Alucard sleeping is usually quite cute, often making little whimpers and sounds while he dreams, but he has nightmares sometimes and can wake up in a cold sweat and screaming. He feels bad when he wakes everyone with this, but a group hug and peppering him with kisses usually does the trick.

Sypha often stays up later than she should, reading, looking at the stars, toying with her magic, but she can't fall asleep first. She's used to her family, and she was never the first one asleep there. Often you find your head in her lap before falling asleep, and if its not yours, one of the other two. She enjoys it, playing with your hair and humming while you fall asleep before she joins you.

Trevor snore lightly, and as much as he won't admit it, loves being in the center. He acts all tough, like he always wants to be the big spoon, but there's nothing he loves more than being in the center of a cuddle pile.

Alucard often ends up the big spoon when Trevor gives in and lets himself be vunerable, but the four of you rotate. Alucard prefers big spoon most of the time, due to his height. Sypha likes it as well, but knows she will end up staying up too late if she isn't at least one person in. Trevor will take the other side and let you be in the middle but he will never complain if he is on the inside with you.

Surprisingly, its Alucard whos the blanket hog. He grew up with a lovely bedroom of his own, and an only child, so he was never short on blankets, and if he needed more they were simply a "Father!" shout away. He does try not to, but there's been so many times where someone has to wake up him to release his iron grip off the comforters.

Trevor usually wakes up first, as he's used to traveling at the crack of dawn. If not him, then Sypha, and Alucard wakes up last. Sypha is used to waking up early to help travel with her family, and Alucard got to sleep in during his youth.

I hope you like it! It's been a while since I've done anything related to castlevania, but I hope to keep doing them as I'm planning on rewatching the show with my partner soon ^^