#i preemptively regret posting this

[anarchopuppy]

I hate to do this again, but I'm out of options. I have to pay my $350 power bill by 5pm CST tomorrow (December 7th, 2023) or I'll be disconnected, and my account is currently over $500 in the red from December's rent. I still haven't been able to find a new job and things are getting really desperate

If I can get $350 within the next 24 hours, I can pay the bill directly through paypal and at least keep my lights on while keeping my bank account overdrawn for now. If you're able to help out, my ko-fi is here, and you can DM me for my paypal or venmo if necessary. Reblogs are also appreciated. Thanks y'all <3

$0/350

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

REC LIST NUMBER 6! The theme is PINING if you couldn’t already tell. I haven’t done a lot of writing recently but I have done A LOT of reading so here are some of the lovely stories I have come across over the last few weeks. As always, please show these authors some love in their comments xx REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend

put my heart inside your palms by @markofalover | T | 3k

An accidental pet name, a thoughtful dinner, and a shared shirt. Buddie are too domestic for my health and well-being! I want what they have!!

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by @neverevan | E | 75k 

During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him AKA the Mudslide Missing!Eddie fic with pining for daaayyyyyyyzzzzzzz

Left Unsaid by C_M2 | M | 33k 

The discovery of a small facebook group full of tsunami survivors rocks station 118. This fic is amazing!! The perfect amount of pining angst, domestic feels and firefam love and goodness 💕💕

If I Should Fall by @elvensorceress | T | 23k

Buck thinks Tommy has died but it's actually Eddie. He is not dead but almost and they have to figure things out from there. This fic had me feeling like my heart has been gutted from my chest and dissected before my very eyes but it has the happy ending we all deserve. 

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies | G | 27k

Eddie is the only one who doesn't realize he and Buck are dating 😭 This is a perfectly sweet and angsty miscommunication fic. 

the weekly bet (but the forever kind) by @theleftboobgrabber | E | 49k

The firehouse has a bet and Buck and Eddie work it in their favor. Once again Eddie pining for dayyyyzzzzzzzzzzz. (I’ve been on a Pining!Eddie kick recently). Perfect Buckley Diaz family feels. 

light me and i'll burn for you by @woodchoc-magnum | M | 31k

An old friend of Buck's joins the 118 and he kinda sucks. Eddie pines and falls down a hole (literally). Seriously though the pining and the angst in this fic is just delicious and with a happy ending to boot <3

The Aftermath of Liberation and Love Confessions by @elvensorceress | T | 17k

Eddie makes the love confession to end all love confessions while perfecting the balance between pining and not giving a f*ck. I love me a Jenwyn fic and this one is fabulous as always. 

love bites so deep and we've got tiger teeth by @usereddie | M | 10k

Rather than going to texas with his grandparents Christopher goes to stay with Buck for an extended sleepover and Eddie realizes he is incredibly in love with his best friend. Honestly I am OBSESSED!!! This is officially my season 7 ending <3

hearts on fire by @woodchoc-magnum | M | 65k

This is a canon divergence on Season 2 where Buck and Eddie almost get together but then Abby comes back and Eddie lets buck go and then regrets it while trying to be happy for him. The pining, the self-sabotage, honestly is all one big tasty meal and topped off with a happy ending and a side salad of the Shannon and Eddie friends/co-parents arc that they deserved!!

like a dog with a bird at your door by @shitouttabuck | E | 51k

Set post s6, Eddie is injured on a call and Buck moves in to help with his recovery whilst learning to navigate his feelings for his best friend and pining for the position Eddie’s girlfriend holds. honestly, I’m actually only halfway through reading this fic but OMG I’M ASDFFGGHJJKKL and I just already knew this would be making it onto the next rec list so I'm adding it to this one preemptively. 

[berryless]

(post 6th chapter, return to the NRC; drabble with 'hugs' as a theme)

"Malleus…"

Freya stood there, choked and teary-eyed, and before Malleus knew it, he was in front of her, looking right into her face, searching for changes that occurred in those days she was missing, learning her features all over once again. She didn't gave him a chance to thoroughly study her, falling headfirst into his chest. Everyone was busy talking and celebrating the return with each other, screaming, and crying, and holding their friends close, and after thinking about it, it occurred to Malleus that considering their relationship, he was also entitled to behave this way. Though he could stand skipping the screaming and crying—he have had enough of those since century and a half ago.

His fingertips grazed her back before Malleus awkwardly hugged her, and Freya flinched, breathed warmth into his shoulder, grabbing at the lapels of his uniform.

"You have no idea how much I regretted not kidnapping you to go along," she sighed softly, nuzzling into him.

"Kidnapping me? You say most humorous things." He chuckled as his hands encircled her back. "As if you are able to force me do anything against my will."

Freya looked up.

"Is that a challenge?"

Malleus raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want it to be?"

She thought about it.

Last person hugging him was Lilia. He was muscle and bone, even after retirement, and Malleus knew he could stand being hugged back and not breaking. With Freya he had to be careful. Her softness made Malleus keep his arms taut to avoid bruising her.

"I think I like it more when you're doing things willingly," Freya decided. She hugged him close, rocking from leg to leg as she breathed hotly into his shoulder.

Malleus thought himself resistant to heat, but it crept through the layers of fabric, under his skin, scorching his heart. Without thinking he held her closer, fingers sinking into the welcoming pliancy of her flesh.

He remembered Ramshackle at night, when she wasn't there: quiet and bleak, lying in ruins. Same as it was before she came here, and yet not feeling the same.

Malleus folded around her, lips pressed against the crown of Freya's head.

"You should kidnap me along next time you disappear."

She laughed.

"I thought I cannot force you do anything against your will?"

"Hence why I am preemptively allowing you to do so."

"My, how generous of you."

"Glad you understand."

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Chapter Twelve

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

Today I started book 2, (book three should arrive tomorrow. ofc because I am a big nerd about this, I will post a photo when it comes in :'3).

Ah, as a side note, I do feel like I am betraying today; this is NOT tea but it is a really good espresso latte. (I am so sorry tea stash).

Let's get into chapter twelve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"what could this be?" My guy! You are being kept, wifed, courted. That is exactly what that, maybe-pure-diamond-ring is. p11

Oh no. Xie Lian was summoned. Summoned to meet Jun Wu. I am so nervous that this guy is going to be punished again. His track record with Jun Wu is not so good. p12

I really sort of love how catty these officials are. Like same girl (non-gendered), this is literally me gossiping about upper management at work LOL p15

I'm so glad he checked in about the human face disease boy. I still miss that little dumpling. p17

OMFG. Are they about to put this entire General Pei Jr situation on Xie Lian? If so, I am already mad about it. Preemptively pissed if you will. p19

Shout out to (who I'm assuming is) the wind master for speaking on Xie Lian's behalf. p25

oh goodness. Now Xie Lian has to talk to Jun Wu privately. RIP my boy! p29

Oooo! Setting the stage for our next mystery. We have an immortal in mortal (heh) peril. p34

Even better! It's in his boyfriend's domain; Ghost City! p36

"Please don't say it like I'm a little Princess who's never left home" sweet baby girl, but your are a little princess :'3 and that is okay <3 p36

Hell yes! Mission with the wind master! They seem cool, I really hope I don't regret liking them. p39

Fucking YES, and they're both going under cover. PLEASE I hope it's in drag. p42

OMG I already can't handle this opener ^-^

I am literally so excited for Xie Lian to travel with the wind master- hopefully- pls pls pls- in drag. These two gender expressive twinks truly deserve to do what the vibe tells them to.

[pomefioredove]

i love ur character analysis posts .. whag do you think of azul . he gets written really ooc sometimes but u nail every character soooo

ALRIGHT. preemptive apology. this gets kind of depressing because I relate to azul on a personal level. I don't think about him as much as I should... so.

azul is driven by fear.

going through something traumatic, like bullying, or abuse, or isolation, or anything, can make you more bitter and resentful towards yourself than that which traumatized you. I have a tendency to blame myself for what other people do to me. not my actions, mind you, not something specific I said or did, but for simply being... me. I think azul works in a similar way. I think he hated himself, hates himself, for just being. and he punishes himself pretty harshly for it.

he's terrified of being the azul who was traumatized. he has this innate desire to kill and bury the him who was hurt, not because he doesn't recognize them, but because he recognizes them too much. he hates them. he resents them. he blames them. he blames himself, and so he punishes himself.

it's misleading. it feels like moving on, but all it really is is repression. and you end up doing a lot of things to yourself that you regret. I went through a pretty extreme version of this after I got away from my abuser. I forced myself to adopt a new personality, I moved, I even had my name legally changed. I also destroyed every single picture of me that I could find. it's coping but it doesn't help, not really, it just feels like running away. it's never enough and you always have this sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach that you will always be that person. weak, helpless, afraid.

living through something that takes your autonomy and shatters your sense of self, such as abuse, or bullying, makes you feel powerless. azul does what he does because he wants control. he wants to feel powerful. he wants to feel safe. he can never, ever be weak again, because he blames own weakness for making him a victim. he does not want to be a victim.

but his need for control ends up isolating him just the same, anyway. he's... sort of friends with the tweels, but not really, and he has no one else at NRC. he was so obsessed with not being at the bottom of the social order that he made his own order, put himself at the top, and is still lonely. he wants to be respected. he wants to be needed. but he doesn't want to be needy, no, he's so mistrustful and refuses to let himself rely on others to the point where he's still... alone.

"azul" becomes more of a brand than a person. everything about him is so meticulously crafted that he can't even breathe without lying. it's just second nature to him at this point. there's still a very scared and very sad child somewhere in him, and he is doing everything in his power to hide them. and it's exhausting to live as if you're always being judged. I think he lacks a sense of self.

he cannot be a victim. that's his whole personality. he refuses to even believe he was a victim. he moves from one extreme to the other, becoming someone who victimizes others, perpetuating the cycle. I think that victims find comfort in being bad people because it makes our trauma feel justified. we can't seem to accept that abuse happens for no reason, so we find new ways to blame ourselves. "I deserved it because I'm a bad person", but you're not, so you start doing bad things to make it feel like you are. it's about control. and it's all a facade.

I like azul. I wish the narrative would go a little further with him and this idea. I think he's a sweetie he just has such a deep-rooted hatred of himself that he's repulsed by the mere idea of letting his guard down.

I don't usually read azul fics so this all might be how people characterize him anyway, idk, I'm going off memory lol

[probadbatch]

WIP Game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your WIP(s) that starts with each letter of that word.

I have now been given three words by the lovely @theproblemwithstardust and @huntressdarkness so this will be a long post and in the interest of not making everyone scroll through ten miles of sentences, I'll put it all behind the cut.

My words were ROCK, HUNTER, and SHINY

I will no pressure tag @just-here-with-my-thoughts @wolveria @inkyclone99 @five-oh-thirst and @faceofpoe but feel free to consider yourself tagged if you want to play too! Your word is BATCH.

Warning for cloneshipping and smutty wips (these lines are sfw though) below the cut

R - hold me down until the madness ends

Regret and longing pull at his features.

O - untitled sex toy fic

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Crosshair freeze.

C - reruns all become our history

“Catch,” Crosshair says before tossing his brother the bottle of clear liquid he stole from some regs on their last mission.

K - empty things disguised as me

Keeping these memories alive feels a little like keeping a piece of him there with them.

-

H - untitled 5 and 1 fic

His armor is missing, replaced with a wrinkled set of civvies that look like he stole them from some two-bit spacer.

U - could hide beside me

“Up here, Omega,” Hunter calls back.

N - hold me down until the madness ends

“Need you,” he says instead when the kiss breaks, the words whispered like a secret.

T - colors and promises

To say even one of those things feels like too much.

E - untitled Crosshair and Tech smut fic

Even so, he can’t help the spark of anxiety that flares as Tech turns away to prepare their supplies.

R - empty things disguised as me

Right. Best get on with it then.

-

S - so that happened

“Shut up,” Hunter mutters.

H - untitled sex pollen fic

Hunter silently begs the force to kill him now.

I - could hide beside me

It’s a game – one he missed fiercely when they were separated, not that Crosshair is ready to admit that outside the privacy of his own thoughts.

N - colors and promises

Not for the first time, Crosshair wishes he was better with words.

Y - untitled 5 and 1 fic

“You don’t get to be mad,” Hunter says, preemptively and oh, that sets off every alarm bell in Crosshair’s mind.

[anamericangirl]

Just saw a post of a woman feeding her newborn baby, but not via breastfeeding as it was formula I think. The reason she couldn’t is because her breasts were removed, not from preemptive treatment for cancer, but transgenderism. I saw in the comments how she was devastated she couldn’t breastfeed her baby and how she regretted getting the operation when she was younger. It just shows that those people need help and not surgery to mutilate themselves, because the later consequences might be more than they can bear.

Exactly but instead everyone just ignores people like and pretend they don't exist to further their harmful and destructive narrative.

They just go "iT's ThE tReAtMeNt" when no it's not. Not for everyone because not everyone who questions their gender at a young age is actually trans. In fact, most of them aren't and "affirming" those thoughts when they are young and vulnerable and putting them through treatment results in unhappy and depressed adults who realized after going through all that they aren't transgender and have done things to themselves that can't be undone. It's incredibly sad.

[goldenempyrean]

sick reader and elizabeth using “It sounds like you’ve caught that bug going round.”  and “Naps are only for babies and old people. Im neither.”  

Should've Stayed Home

〚 Notes - Just posting the fic I wrote last night :) This hasn't been edited/checked well so sorry about mistakes! 〛

〚 Pairing - Lizzie Olsen x Reader 〛

〚 Summary - You insisted on visiting Lizzie's parents with her, even when you weren't feeling great. But once you arrived there, it seems that maybe staying home would've have been such a day idea. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 1300 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

“Maybe you should stay home today sweetheart.” Lizzie sighed as you coughed into your elbow, “It sounds like you’ve caught that bug going round. We can always reschedule, or I can always go visit my parents by myself for a few hours and then come home again.” 

But you only shook your head as tossed her the car keys, “No, we’ve been putting off seeing your parents for weeks and I’m not even that sick either, my throat’s just being a little temperamental.” 

Lizzie hesitated for a moment, worry creasing her forehead, but ultimately, she relented and took the keys from you. She watched as you gathered your things and made your way out the door, wishing she could convince you to stay home and rest. 

As you drove to Lizzie's parents' house, you couldn't shake the feeling of fatigue that settled in your bones. You tried to ignore it, focusing instead on the radio and the passing scenery outside the car window. The coolness of the glass felt amazing against the throbbing which had begun to pound in your temples. 

The drive wasn’t too long at least, that was a positive. Not only had your head begun to pound, but you also found yourself beginning to sniffle repetitively, unable to keep your nose from running. Those sniffles only intensified further when your nose itched sharply. 

“H’h..h’tschoo! Heh’hupsshooo!” 

Lizzie chuckled, reaching over to squeeze your thigh gently, “Bless-“ She started but stopped when your breath hitched again preemptively. 

“H’htschoo!” You ducked your head into your elbow as you covered your final sneeze, sniffling wetly in the aftermath, scrunching up your nose as you wiped it against the end of your sleeve. 

“There's tissues in the glove box baby, blow your nose.” Lizzie sighed, regretting that she hadn’t pushed further for you to stay home. 

You nodded and reached for the tissues, blowing your nose loudly and rubbing at your eyes. The headache was only getting worse, and your throat felt like it was on fire. You tried to distract yourself by looking out the window again, but everything seemed to blur together in a dizzying haze. 

By the time you arrived at Lizzie's parents' house, you were feeling worse than ever. Your head was pounding, your nose was running nonstop, and your throat was so sore it hurt to swallow. You tried to put on a brave face when you greeted her parents, but they could tell something was wrong. 

As soon as you walked in the door, Lizzie's mom greeted you with a big hug. "Oh, honey, you don't look so good. Are you feeling okay?" she asked, concern etched on her face. 

You forced a smile and nodded, not wanting to worry her. "I'm just a little under the weather. Nothing to worry about," you replied, your voice scratchy and hoarse. 

Lizzie's dad came over to give you a handshake and a pat on the back, but you winced in pain as the pressure on your back sent a wave of pain through your body. Lizzie noticed your discomfort and quickly intervened, guiding you over to the couch and offering you a glass of water. 

You gratefully accepted the water, taking a sip to soothe your sore throat. Lizzie sat down next to you, her hand resting on your knee as she asked, "Do you need anything else, love?" 

You couldn’t help but feel your heavy eyes begin to close on their own as you fought to keep yourself awake as you leant your head against Lizzie’s shoulder, “No, it’s fine.” 

Lizzie frowned as she felt the heat radiating off of you. She knew that you were running a fever, and she didn't want to push you too hard. "Maybe we should head back home, sweetheart," she suggested gently. 

You shook your head, not wanting to ruin the visit. "No, I'm fine. Let's just hang out for a bit," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. Lizzie hesitated, but eventually she relented when she parents joined the two of you in the living room. 

You tried your best to keep yourself composed as you chatted with Lizzie's parents. But as the conversation went on, the pressure in your sinuses began to build, and you knew that you were on the verge of a sneeze. 

You tried to hold it in, but it was no use. Your body gave in, and you let out a loud, explosive sneeze. "H'tschh!" Your hand shot up to cover your nose and mouth, but it was too late. 

Lizzie's mom rushed over to you with a handful of tissues, concern etched on her face. "Oh, honey, are you okay? Do you need anything?" she asked. 

You nodded, grateful for the tissues. You blew your nose, wincing as the pressure in your head intensified. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you tried to hide your embarrassment. 

Lizzie's dad gave you a sympathetic smile. "It's okay, we've all been there," he said, trying to make you feel better. 

“You’re definitely getting a cold.” Lizzie sighed, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek. You could do little more to respond, that insistent itch still lingering in your nose before you eventually sneezed down into your tissues yet again, mumbling out your apology afterwards. 

Lizzie's mom reached over to hand you another tissue, giving you a sympathetic smile. "Bless you, dear. It sounds like you're really not feeling well," she said kindly whilst Lizzie wrapped her arms around you, holding you closer to her. 

You nodded, feeling a pang of guilt for not listening to Lizzie's advice to stay home. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make a scene," you apologised, your voice still scratchy and hoarse. 

Lizzie's dad patted you on the back. "No need to apologise, we understand. Sometimes these things just happen," he said, giving you a reassuring smile. 

But you couldn't shake the feeling of embarrassment and discomfort. You were starting to feel like a burden on everyone, like you were ruining the visit. You tried to excuse yourself, saying that you needed some fresh air, but Lizzie insisted on coming with you. 

Outside, the cool air felt good on your flushed face, but you couldn't escape the pounding in your head or the congestion in your sinuses. You leaned against Lizzie, feeling her warmth and support as you tried to catch your breath. 

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, feeling tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. "I didn't mean to ruin the visit." 

Lizzie pulled you closer, rubbing soothing circles on your back. "You didn't ruin anything, sweetheart. We just want you to feel better," she said, her voice soft and gentle. 

You leaned into her, feeling the weight of exhaustion and sickness weighing you down. "I just want to go home," you said, your voice barely audible. 

Lizzie nodded, understanding the seriousness of the situation. She helped you back to the car, settling you in the passenger seat before going back inside to explain the situation to her parents. 

As Lizzie drove you home, you leaned your head against the window, feeling the cool glass soothing against your hot skin. Lizzie's hand found yours, squeezing it gently as she drove. 

“Maybe you should try and take a nap sweetheart, you look exhausted.” 

 “Naps are only for babies and old people. I'm neither.”  You mumbled, but still you found yourself giving in and closing your eyes. 

Lizzie chuckled softly. "Well, in that case, you're just taking a rest. You need it." She whispered, her voice filled with sympathy and love. 

You nodded sleepily, feeling grateful for Lizzie's understanding and care. As you drifted off to sleep, you knew that you were in good hands, and that Lizzie would be there to take care of you until you were feeling better. 

〖 Join My Taglist! 〗@scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @shin-conan-kun @bloomingflowersthings @kathleenmikaelson @shamelessbearunknown @inluvwithfictionalwomen @ceiestiaie @fluffyblanketgecko @kljhsong @santana1437 @lovelyy-moonlightt @juiles @lots-of-pockets @sashawalker2 @natashamaximoff69 

[horizon-verizon]

The way TG want to pretend Book Alicent isn’t an evil and repugnant hag is going to drive me INSANE.

In Fire & Blood, when Alicent marries Viserys, Alicent is 18 and Rhaenyra is 9.

By the time Rhaenyra is 13 and Alicent has birthed two sons, Alicent is already spreading harmful and disgusting rumors about Rhaenyra’s “promiscuity”. This is a woman in her mid-20s maligning, slut shaming and sexualizing an orphan girl who’s still in middle school, all to advance her incompetent sons in the line of succession. Criston Cole is 15 years older than Rhaenyra, he became her sworn protector when she was 7 and accompanied her ever since, Alicent is literally mocking and blaming a victim of sexual grooming.

The same Alicent who laughed when she heard about the sack of Tumbleton where little girls and women were raped hundreds times and septas were chased naked through the streets and gang raped by a hundred men.

Just as Aegon II was starting to think about folding it, in the face of oncoming and angry Rhaenyra loyalists, on the recommendation that Prince Aegon would likely just send him to The Wall, it’s Alicent who pipes up with her suggestion that he instead start slicing his 10 years-old nephew to pieces as a warning.

After Aegon III becomes king, Alicent snatches a dagger from a guardsman in an attempt to murder him.

Her urging her granddaughter Jaehaera to slit her husband and cousin, Aegon III’s throat in his sleep traumatized the girl so badly that Aegon’s regents forbade Alicent from ever interacting with Jaehaera again.

It’s clear that Alicent stans can’t separate the character from the actress who plays her. Before HOTD aired, absolutely no one thought Alicent was anything but an awful and abusive stepmother. The parasocial relationship with Olivia is so creepy and disturbing.

Giving Alicent the benefit of the doubt, it's possible that she at least showed much more restraint and never said what it told to be her laughing at the Tumbleton thing, or whatever she said twisted to make her seem worse. I do believe that she said Rhaenyra should have died in childbirth. Why this and not the other? Because wants her side to look as good as possible, and laughing at a MASS terror event is simply not equal to wishing death on a singular enemy. Plus, as a woman, blatant desires or approval for violence in war doesn't go down as well as a woman hating another women for men, even though the latter troubles them if they are directly witnessing that.

But who knows, she may have developed some feelings of regret ever since Lucerys' death and how it went down--bc it's kinslaying and she's ult religious, doesn't want her kids committing blatant sins esp when they are trying to make them all look better than Rhaenyra.

As for Alicent urging and Aegon "folding":

Yes he considered folding, but logically Alicent was in the right to point out that he'd never be truly safe under Aegon III after killing Rhaenyra the way he did and in front of the traumatized boy...whether Alicent is evil or not, this is out of her control and she decided to suggest what she thought would preserve her son's life in perpetuity. Again, I am not saying she is being morally correct or that none of this wasn't partly her fault in the first place or that we shouldn't criticize her greed. I am saying that before we chalk up her suggestions as just malicious or flattingly evil here (before we get to Jaehaera), there is this particular element of her seeing the blatant flaw in Aegon's hope and trying to preemptively preserve his life in lieu of all her children else has died and gone...nothing like show!Alicent. Aegon was stupid-desperate and she always wanted and acted to preserve his life and get him the throne based on her perception of his right to it.

The rest of what you say, yeah, evil, no two tones about it. I want to add, though, that this feels like a deliberate progression into her doing as she does post-Dance against Aegon III; before Rhaenyra's death, she was relatively restrained and deliberate in her actions and even took care to protect the city from the blacks by ways that if there hadn't been dragons she had a chance of succeeding. However, you can see a difference b/t her at the council & when Rhaenyra touches down at the Castle vs her really dumb "bastard blood shed at war" attempt at negotiation vs Aegons return vs her reaction to Helaena's death vs her post-Dance actions. Pattern here is she gets progressively more ruthless or at least takes less pains to disguise it or beat around the bush and it's bc she feels herself slowly losing her kids and reacts by becoming even more determined to secure the throne for Aegon, bc then he'd/she'd have the highest authority and be less vulnerable. Kinda the only way through is up sorta thing and it resembles a sunk-cost fallacy except no bc she'd be right that they need to win in order to finally be "safe".

Again, I don't like her and I don't feel bad for her, but she's not out here just trying to destroy Rhaenyra for the fun of it--though I am sure this fuels and inspires much of her actions in lieu of her offense at her not reaping the "promised" benefits of birthing a prince/another woman having what she'd have. She is going by her twisted values and eventually wants to also protect her kids and the "ratio" of that at any given time is pretty negligible in the very beginning, as we don't really know, too, how much she truly believes Daemon would murder her kids--either covertly or overtly.

Finally, when all her kids are gone, she's willing to potentially sacrifice her granddaughter to destroy the "carrier" of how those kids died in the war's duration, projecting her regrets and making it everyone else's problem--her final "unraveling". For her, she's willing to do this to her granddaughter even though she loved her kids simply bc she couldn't live with her own regrets. And girls are more disposable in the value system most of them had, esp with Jaehaera having disabilities--perhaps a "she's going to suffer anyway", and she rationalized that Jaehaera would be always spared from certain death for Aegon's murder bc she is so feeble and a child.

So there's an interesting progression here in Alicent's psyche that belies the thought of her having simple malice against the blacks.

[chr0macide]

6/26/2024

Content warning: mentions of pedophilia, mentions of grooming

EDIT 7/17/2024 - We believe every message sent to us was actually puppy_tearz impersonating Karter. Karter no longer believes I am a pedophile. This post and the document have been edited to reflect this

Sorry to invade the Break In tags with weird stuff, but puppy_tearz and Karter will do the same thing if they end up releasing his document.

I have received information that Karter is planning on releasing a document accusing me of pedophilia. I have enough information to speak preemptively about this. I am aware that some people who are/have been associated with me have already been sent messages claiming that I am a pedophile.

Junk and Moss received these strange messages from puppy_tearz attempting to impersonate Karter anonymously in their Tumblr inboxes on 6/25/2024 (I deleted the strange messages that were sent to me without screenshotting them). The user also messaged Junk privately on Tumblr to ask whether it was in a pedophilic relationship with @blanketmoss (A.K.A. Moss or Buggy) and I:

This is what initially tipped us off about what was happening. On the same date, Karter was contacted by someone who used to know @junkzsillystuff (Junk) and was convinced by the user that I am a pedophile based on the way that I speak to Junk and Moss + the fanart that I have drawn of our Roblox characters.

That user used to share an account with Junk, was able to log into Junk’s current account, and pulled a screenshot of the #vent channel in Junk's server that had been sent into our group chat by Moss:

Junk also received a message through Straw.Page threatening to dox it:

The dox threat was sent by puppy_tearz.

Puppy_tearz, on 6/26/2024, informed Junk of what they had done. They expressed regret (which, in light of future events, did not last) user gave Junk access to their own Discord account so that Junk could view their conversation with Karter itself. These screenshots of the conversation are linked here because there is more than a dozen of them.

The user also refused to ask Karter to stop and expressed that they could not handle seeing Junk happy with others. This was Junk’s conversation with the user:

Just to be clear… no, I am not a pedophile. No, I am not involved in an online relationship with a minor. If you are out of the loop, Karter was a user who cyberstalked and harassed Junk for a couple of months, but has since stopped. We have not had direct contact with Karter since late May this year. Junk was innocent of Karter’s accusations, so I produced a document clearing its name and informing people of things Karter has done that I feel they should know about before interacting with him. Evidence was included.

Karter was misled into believing that I am a pedophile, but as of the date of my edit to this post, he no longer believes this. The other user’s motive is that it would like to harm Junk for ceasing contact with them.

Again, I am not a pedophile. I am not involved in an online relationship with a minor or minors.

For completeness, I am linking every document that has been created relating to these issues:

Document I – Harassment and Cyberstalking Campaign Perpetrated by Karter and the Wrightworths Against JunkzInterlude (authored by myself)

Document II – Karter’s response to Document I

Document III – Junk’s response to Document II

This list will be edited to include Karter’s document accusing me of pedophilia if/when he releases it.

Document I will be updated with the above events (along with any future events).

I understand that puppy_tearz’s allegations are very severe, but please do not harass them or Karter.

[thisismysecondrodeo]

Getting Good (Dom!Ted x Sub!Reader)

AN: The unrequested 4th (and probably final part) to the Dom!Ted x Sub!Reader series. Again, I definitely had to do some research on D/S dynamics so apologies for any errors. Based loosely on the discord message: "He texts you to be ready for a dom/sub scene as soon as he gets home and you know that means you have to be on your knees and waiting and fully in “yes sir” mode + this post:

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Established Relationship, Date Night, Dom!Ted, sub!Reader, dom-sub dynamics and conversation, kink color system, rough oral sex (male receiving), light impact play, vaginal fingering

Getting Ready (1) | Getting Busy (2) | Getting Off (3) | Fic Masterlist

-

You had gotten the text message from Ted about 45 minutes ago and you’d been buzzing ever since. He had slowly grown more comfortable with the dom/sub dynamic the two of you had been exploring—you reserved specific nights and used specific phrases to indicate your stops and starts—but it was still rare that he initiated. You knew he still had trouble around feeling demanding. But tonight, after a long, hard day at work you’d gotten a text that drove everything from your mind. 

Ted: I’d love to take charge tonight. Be ready for me?

You knew exactly what that meant and you texted back an immediate, “yes sir.” You’d spent all day long making decisions and having people look to you for next steps and you wanted nothing more than to be empty of everything but following directions and receiving pleasure. No thinking critically, no making decisions, just meeting needs and having needs met. You practically skipped to your dresser and slid open the drawer you reserved for your laciest things. It was never important to Ted what you wore, but it helped you get into the proper headspace when you dressed in something sexy. 

You chose white, knowing Ted loved how it looked on your skin; a lace, see-through bra, and matching crotchless panties, complete with garters and stockings. Ted had purchased it, but you’d never worn it for him before and you were preemptively giddy at what his reaction would be. 

You kneeled in the center of the bed, sitting back on your heels, and fought the urge to text him to get an ETA. The waiting was part of it, the anticipation already ramping up your arousal, already making you shift a little on the bed as you listened for the sound of the front door. 

Your heart skipped a beat when you finally heard it and you sat up ramrod straight, ready for your love to walk into the room and tell you what was going to happen next. 

Ted was tired, but he didn’t regret texting you. He hovered outside of the door for just a moment, eyes closed, hand resting on the doorknob. Richmond was suffering from tie after tie, Michelle wanted to discuss the custody agreement for the thousandth time, and it seemed everyone in his life was looking to him for answers that he didn’t have. But on the other side of this door, he knew you would be there waiting for him, with no questions and needing no answers from him; when he stepped through the door, if he asked for something he was going to receive it and just the thought of that had his pulse quickening and his cock throbbing. 

You didn’t dare move a muscle when the door opened silently, but you couldn’t hide your smile. There was never a moment that you didn’t want to see Ted, and right now was certainly no exception. He was wearing his classic button-up shirt and khakis, and you knew he must have removed his sweater before his walk home, maybe just to make it easier to get undressed right now. He leaned against the doorframe and looked at you, his eyes full of unadulterated affection as they trailed the lengths of your exposed skin. He gave you a low whistle as he crossed the threshold. 

“Look at you, darlin’,” Ted spoke slowly, his voice quiet enough that if you’d moved you wouldn’t have heard him. “You knew exactly what I wanted, didn’t you?”

“Yes sir,” you said, matching his volume, your voice dripping with pride. 

He walked over to the side of the bed, within arms reach and you turned to look at him but stayed firmly on your knees. “Eyes forward, beautiful.” And it was just like Ted to make a command sound so sweet and pleasant. You turned back toward the doorway and could feel his fingers drag chastely across your shoulders and down your arm, before picking up your hand and bringing it to his lips. Heat rushed to your cheeks at the tenderness that was immediately countered by a firm snap of your garter against your thigh that you didn’t see coming and it shocked a gasp from you. 

You bit your bottom lip in regret at the sound but Ted ran his thumb over it and pulled it free. “It’s okay darlin’, you can talk to me. You make such beautiful sounds.” 

You said the first thing that came to mind, all in one deep exhale of breath, “I missed you baby.” 

You were still looking straight ahead so you couldn’t see the bright smile that graced his face. “Oh, baby you have no idea,” Ted sighed, and he slid onto the bed behind you, resting on his knees and plastering himself against your back. His arm snaked up your chest and his right hand held you loosely under your jaw—you sucked in a breath as his lips found the side of your neck, his mustache tickling at the sensitive spot behind your ear.

“Do you want me to touch you, baby,” Ted asked, his left hand fiddling with the waistband of your underwear, his right hand gently stroking the length of your neck as you tilted your head back onto his shoulder. 

“Yes.” 

Ted snapped your garter again and you yelped, “Yes, sir.” He kissed your shoulder for delivering the right answer, which you appreciated, but you would have said anything to get him to put his hands where you wanted them. The crotchless panties meant you could feel yourself slick and wanting and you nearly whined when Ted removed his hand from your neck. You didn’t mourn the loss for long because he quickly looped it around your ribcage and pulled you back into his lap, pressing his own back into the headboard and spreading his legs in a V. With your back against his front, he could look over your shoulder and see all of you spread out for him, your legs askew and braced on his strong thighs. Ted hummed as his warm palms covered your stomach and thighs, taking his time with caresses and tickles that had you wiggling against his noticeable erection. 

“I’m going to lose my mind,” you whined through gritty teeth when his fingers barely grazed your nipple. You knew better than to ask or beg but you were glad he gave you the okay to talk.

“I’m sorry, darlin’, and you’ve been so good for me,” Ted chuckled, dropping an open-mouthed kiss on the juncture between your neck and shoulder. As he kissed you, he tugged the cup of your bra just enough to give him access to your nipple, tweaking it gently between his thumb and forefinger. You moaned, deep and low, and Ted pinched just a bit harder, his teeth and mustache grazing your neck, his other hand still splayed wide on your thigh. 

“Fuck, Ted,” you breathed out, and he released your breast, pressing his hand firmly between your shoulder blades so you’d bend forward enough that he could reach the clasp of your bra. You took a deep breath when you relaxed into him again, your peaked nipples tingling slightly as they were exposed to air. 

“I want to take you apart, sweet pea,” Ted nearly growled in your ear and you shivered hard. The hand on your thigh was creeping closer to your center, while his other hand was back to massaging your breasts, alternating between them. “How does that sound?”

“Please, sir, fuck, please. Do whatever you want to me, I’m begging you.” 

Ted groaned. His cock twitched against your back at the sheer devotion in your voice as you pleaded for him. “Yes ma’am.”

Ted used his own legs to spread yours further apart and you were sure the bed underneath you was damp, but it didn’t matter because he was finally sliding his middle finger over your throbbing clit. You whimpered loudly, but Ted took his time touching and exploring, his other hand still toying with your nipples. Without thinking about it, you slid a little further down in his grip. 

“Where ya runnin’ to darlin’,” Ted chuckled, the hand on your breast quickly reaching up from your chest to hold your neck again, steadying you against him. He wasn’t restricting your breathing at all, but just the feeling of his possessive hold made you moan. The hand stroking your clit picked up its pace as he lowered his mouth to your ear. “You’re going to stay right there and be good for me, aren’t you?” 

“Yes, sir,” you whispered, huskily. Ted paused in touching you and you watched with wide eyes as he reached for your garter and stretched it further than ever, the elastic making your eyes water and you cried out as it made impact. It was a sharp sting that was over quickly and it felt like it went straight to your clit. 

“I can’t hear you, beautiful. You’re going to be good for me, aren’t you? You’re gonna sit right here and let me make you come?” 

“Yes, sir,” you overcorrected, nearly yelling as his hand returned, but he bypassed your clit and instead entered you in one smooth motion and fucking you steadily with long, confident fingers. Your eyes practically rolled back in your head, but as much as you wanted to meet his thrusts or push back against his straining erection, you followed instructions and held still. It was worth it for the praise he cooed in your ear. Ted released your neck, slowly returning to caressing every inch of your skin with a warm, firm pressure while still working you up easily, the sounds filthy and arousing.

He curled his fingers, transitioning to short strokes against your inner wall that made your eyes slam shut and your head fall back again. Ted took advantage of the access, licking and sucking marks into the thin skin of your neck. Your skin was growing hot to the touch and you could feel Ted’s smile pressed against your shoulder, his hair flopping over his forehead and tickling the side of your face. He knew you were close and you’d do anything in your power to obey so that you could orgasm. You were panting curses as the pleasure built and Ted was a grinning fool, as he brought his thumb to your clit with a rapid flicking motion. Your abs flexed with the force of your climax, shockwaves rolling up from your core that had you flinging your hands to grip Ted’s thighs, your fingers digging in hard enough that you knew he’d find bruises when it was all said and done. 

When your breathing settled, Ted used his thumb and forefinger to tilt your face toward his and kiss him deeply, his tongue slick and searching against yours. Your heart beat a steady patter of I love him, I love him, I love him and neither of you had to say it for you to know that he felt it too. 

“You okay, darlin’,” Ted asked softly as he pulled away. “Color?”

“Green,” you answered with zero hesitation. You licked your swollen lips and realized Ted was still fully dressed. You turned around to kneel between his legs and started unbuttoning his shirt.

Ted reached for your wrists and held them easily with one hand, restraining you from his buttons. “Why don’t we take a break, let me get you some water.” You knew Ted was being sweet and considerate but it almost felt like a punishment for him to pause the scene, for him not to snap your garter or slap your ass and admonish you for taking his clothes off without permission. You’d followed every instruction, and behaved yourself perfectly, but you must look pretty wrecked if he was taking your green as a yellow anyway. 

“No sir,” you pouted, avoiding his eyes and instead looking down at his tented crotch. 

“No,” he questioned, one eyebrow raised, his voice instantly darker. You smirked knowing that you had him hooked again. “You’ve been such a good girl and now you want to ruin it by telling me no?” His other hand fingered the elastic of your garter yet again, but he waited you out. 

“You’re right, I have been such a good girl,” you practically purred, and you moved backward on your knees, a stretch considering your hands were still bound in one of Ted’s. “And now I want my reward.” Thank god for yoga, you thought as you bent down, your arms still restrained, and pressed your lips to Ted’s crotch. Ted groaned and you took a few moments to press kisses into his khakis before licking a broad stripe over his hard, hidden cock. Despite the multiple layers, he could feel the heat from your tongue and his breath hitched. 

“Baby,” Ted started to speak, but when he opened his eyes to look at you, your face was pressed to his bulge and you were looking up at him with pleading doe-eyes; whatever thought or objection he had died before it hit the air. “Fuck, you really want it, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” you tried to sound seductive but your tone was excited and embarrassingly desperate. 

“You were a very good girl for me,” Ted considered, “but right now you’re being incredibly naughty and you know it.” You smiled a little, wiggling your hips in the air. “I guess I’ll just have to show you what happens when you’re not careful what you wish for.” 

You weren’t sure exactly what he meant but the words themselves sent bolts of electricity through you. He tugged your hands gently so you’d raise up enough for him to slide off the bed. You were surprised that he didn’t release his grip on you, but you weren’t complaining about watching him open his belt buckle and pull his boxer briefs and khakis down to his ankles one-handed. His cock bobbed, hard and shiny with precum, and you had to put in some effort to keep your drool contained. You were still kneeling on the bed, but Ted gestured with his head at the floor and you used his support to clamber down and kneel in front of him instead. 

“Open,” Ted requested firmly, and you obeyed instantly, sticking your tongue out slightly. Ted grabbed his cock at the base and fed it gently into your open mouth, a short thrust before he removed his cock entirely. You didn’t have the use of your hands to brace yourself so you fell forward just a little and Ted used his other hand to tilt your chin up to him. “You’re not going to get to use your hands, do you know what to do if you need a break?” 

You wanted to joke “bite” but Ted was serious about safety and you were so close to getting what you wanted. “Yes, sir,” you wiggled your hand around to make enough space that you could easily tap the top of his hand in 3 short bursts. 

“Good girl,” Ted said, before using the hand that was still under your chin to bring your mouth back to his cock. Ted was big and he knew it, not often requesting blow jobs, but you relished in the burn of your jaw as you bobbed your head down the length of him and back up. He held himself still at first but then slowly started to thrust, his hand moving from your chin around to the back of your neck. You moaned as he took control of the pace and you focused on nothing else but being wet and open for him. You could tell he was being gentle with you and yet you still gagged around him a little when he brushed the back of your throat. 

“Fuck, darlin’, you feel amazing,” Ted sighed, his hips continuing to snap forward, and you could answer with only a whimper. If you could speak, you would have told him the silky, warm weight of him against your tongue felt just as fantastic. You looked up at him and could feel tears forming in the corner of your eyes and Ted slowed slightly. You could tell he was about to check in with you and you cut him off by hollowing your cheeks, ramping up the suction. Ted threw his head back with a growl thrusting once, twice, with his full length and then held, fully filling your throat. Your mind emptied of anything but breathing through your nose and making Ted come. You swallowed against him involuntarily, but the pressure made Ted spasm and he slid all the way out immediately, panting like he’d just run 5 miles. 

“Jesus Christ,” Ted gasped, his hand still holding your neck steady and you grinned, your face damp and lips swollen. “Come up here.” Ted pulled your hands a little towards the bed but you held your ground and he looked at you quizzically. 

“No, sir,” you said, your voice hoarse. “I want you to come in my mouth. Please.” 

Ted waited a moment, searching your face for any hint of you regretting the request. He massaged the back of your neck and you hummed. “Beg for it.” 

From your position on your knees, you locked eyes with your love, his dress shirt hanging open and his hair askew. This would be easy. 

“I want your cock in my mouth. I would do anything, baby. Ted please, I want you so deep inside me that you cum straight down my throat. I want you to know how much I love you, Ted, and how much I want you to use me. I just want you to feel good, sir, please.” 

The second the last syllable fell from your lips it was replaced with his cock, and he thrust into your mouth hard and fast. Your eyes fell closed and you felt floaty and loose, your whole body relaxing under his attention. Somewhere over your head he was cursing and praising in equal measure, but you were lost under a wave of pleasure and sensation. Ted managed just a few more thrusts before he again paused with his cock in your throat; he came with a groan and you quickly swallowed all of him. 

Ted slid out of your mouth, releasing his hold on both your wrists and your neck as he fell to his knees in front of you. He pulled you into his chest and your eyes shut as he shushed and rocked you gently; you didn’t even notice how much you shivered in his arms. You were sated and soft and you melted into his embrace. He was familiar with the comedown after scenes like this—the two of you had done this enough—and he looked forward to the aftercare almost as much as the scene itself. When he could feel you return to yourself somewhat, he helped you off the floor and led you to the bathroom, shrugging off his shirt so the two of you were equally bare. He helped you into the shower and your throat was sore and you didn’t talk much, which used to scare him, but now he knew just how to fill the silence.

“I love you so much, sweetheart. I love doing this with you and making you feel good because you make me feel spectacular. I feel, just, on top of the world with you. Like I fell out of the lucky tree and hit every damn branch on the way down. You’re so gorgeous. I love every curve, dimple, and stretch mark. I love every eyelash. Ever smile and whimper and sigh.” 

The words were different every time, but they still felt like a familiar chant as he washed you clean first and then himself. He placed chaste kisses on your warm skin as he dried both of you off, and the two of you slid into bed. Skin-to-skin contact always helped you feel more centered after being in that headspace, and Ted didn’t waste an inch of space—his legs tangled with yours and your head was tucked under his chin. Your tiredness fell over you suddenly but gently, like snowfall, and you pressed your lips over his heart and whispered, “I love you,” before falling asleep.

<- Getting Off

[evenfall-au]

Between The Ones I Love

Rating: T TWs: Wholesomeness Prompt for Frans Monthly November: [Cuddles] Word Count: 1,422

Cross posted to Ao3 here!

@frans-monthly

Frisk’s feet ached, and her back felt as tight as a violin string. 

Night had fallen, but Frisk found herself content to stay in bed or rather compelled to. Golden cast irises darted up to the blood bag currently suspended above the edge of the bed and trailed down along its length as they finally followed a thin tube down to her wrist where Alphys had so delicately taped it to her skin.

Frisk was in the second trimester of her second pregnancy, however it was no better than the last. Sans had said as much—had warned her that it would be another risk just as Elys’ had been, but she’d not listened. They’d spent hours, weeks going back and forth on the issue.

She’d never seen him lose his temper before…

The way his eyelights had terrifyingly flared, the viciously crooked downturning of his grin as he’d shattered what had been considered a valued treasure in his bare hand.

Frisk had trembled, scared.

But then he’d taken a moment to close his sockets, to breathe, before smiling again as he always did. Only, she’d then seen the sadness in his expression, his concern as he’d finally agreed and pulled her close to hold her while listing off all the precautions they’d need to take—fully supportive. 

That small, monumental, interaction was what made her certain that she’d been making the right choice. Because the more they’d talked about how to handle it, the more he’d softened, and even arrived to the point where he’d cracked a good joke or two about future plans together as a family.

Sans had been so worried…

Frisk stared at the IV rather grumpily and the crimson liquid inside it.

He still was.

Despite that, she still so desperately wanted this child. 

Not just for her to dote on, but for the look on Sans’ face…he so enjoyed being a father. She never would have believed it from how everything had gone before Elys had come along, but she ended up loving the effect their little girl had on him almost as much as she loved the skeleton herself. She knew this would be worth it, and they’d love this one just as much as Elys, and Elys would have a friend, someone she could hopefully play and grow with through the years.

Frisk had so many hopes and dreams for this.

Ultimately the aches and pains she currently felt were nothing in the grander scheme of things. She didn’t regret all the hard work they’d had to invest into making this happen, especially so soon after their first when compared to other vampires who’d take centuries at a time if that at all to produce offspring. 

She just wished she could’ve been spared the complications that came with it.

Knock

Knock

Slowly she lifted her head, curious and a bit excited at the prospect of company. Whereas normally she would’ve asked who it was as a preemptive measure of setting up a joke, she was too eager to see who had come to pay her attention, and so gave a happy, “Come in!”

The creaking of the door as it opened echoed around the room as a sliver of darkness exposed the shadowed hall beyond in a thin slit barely large enough for a mouse to prod through.

Frisk blinked, confused.

And suddenly the crack opened wide and a snowy white head of hair popped in.

“Mom?”

Instantly Frisk grinned as she met the cool blues of her daughter’s eyes. Gently she eased herself up to lean against the headboard of her bed, trying her best to ignore how dizzy the action slightly made her, and waved Elys on in with a small pat to a spot on the bed beside her.

That was all that was needed as the little girl’s own smile widened—so similar to her father’s—and she padded in with happy steps until she was swinging herself over the edge of the mattress and tucking in beside her mother. Frisk made a joyful sound as Ely’s arms came around her and returned the embrace.

“Dad said you couldn’t come down to eat.” Elys huffed.

Frisk felt a drop of sweat on her brow. “Yes, I was a bit light headed this evening and out of concern your father fetched Alphys. I’ve been ordered to spend the next two days in bed to make sure I have enough blood for the baby.”

At that Elys glanced down at the slight protrusion of her stomach and hummed. 

“Brother eats like Uncle Pap.” 

Frisk raised a brow as she chuckled. 

“Brother? Why do you say that? For all we know it could be a sister.” 

Elys shook her head as she nuzzled closer, content in her mother’s arms. “No, brother.”

Frisk decided to not speak further on the assumption. She never understood how children could sound so confident in what they thought or felt, she could barely remember how she was at such an age. The idea that Elys wanted a brother of all things rather than a sister to sow or learn to cook with actually sparked warmth in Frisk’s soul. It wasn’t common to see a child wanting a sibling of the opposite sex. 

But then again…

Children did have an uncanny ability when it came to making predictions…

“A brother then,” Frisk giggled. “And yes, he has quite the appetite.”

Another knock, and this time Frisk looked up to spot her husband standing in the doorway with a cheeky smirk across his teeth. Elys beamed as she stuck her tongue out at him before making a show of wiggling impossibly closer into her side.

“i’ve been beaten to my own room, the shame.” His baritone rolled as he entered and walked up to the side of the bed.

“You were racing?” Frisk asked as Elys snickered. 

“no, i was finishing an important discussion. elys was racing, by herself, after declaring there was a race to begin with.” Without preamble Sans slid onto the mattress at Frisk’s opposite side and wrapped an arm around her waist, tucking her close against his chest. Even now the contact still sent a flush to her cheeks.

“Hey!” Elys cried. “I won! I get the cuddles!”

Frisk bit her lip as she did her best not to laugh at the girl’s outrage. Sans on the other hand openly chuckled as his brow creased in an uptick and his eyelights flashed briefly with amusement as he purposefully nuzzled Frisk’s cheek, turning her primrose blush a deeper shade of scarlet.

“you forget, there’s such a thing as a consolation prize.” Sans winked. “and that prize is that i get to cuddle both your mother and the winner.” 

Elys’ expression dropped into a deadpan as Sans’ other arm came around and encircled her as well, completing the collection of their immediate family as he placed a light press of his teeth to the top of her head.

“That sounds more like a first prize.” 

“maybe~” He drawled. “but surely you don’t want to run over my feelings by denying me the cuddle pile, do you?”

There was no hesitation as Elys shouted, “Yes!”

“the betrayal.” Sans huffed. 

Frisk sat happy and silent as they both went back and forth; Sans with his teasing and Elys with her indignation. This went on for sometime before the three of them had migrated to fully laying down beneath the covers and Elys fell asleep against her mother’s side. 

Smiling gently she ran a tender hand through her daughter’s hair. 

At the same time a warm hand glided up and down her arm, slow, unrushed as it came to a stop and a thumb brushed over her shoulder. 

Sans’ voice was a whisper against her ear. “how are you feeling?” 

Frisk took a second more to stare at Elys' sleeping expression, content and warm between the two greatest things of her life. She couldn’t help smiling as she pressed further into him and pulled Elys closer.

“Better than ever.”

And it was true.

These were the moments Frisk lived for, and what she so desperately hoped to have so much more of when their family grew. Sans didn’t say anything, merely moved his hand to her stomach and gave it a gentle stroke with a low hum on his teeth, just as he’d been doing from the start, and let his gloved phalanges rest there as he pressed a slow, lingering kiss to her temple.

“pleased to hear it love.”

[arabaka]

hello everynyan !!!!!!!!!!!!!! how are you !!!!!!!!!!! (jokes aside) i missed you all! i wanted to give an update on this blog and my wellbeing. but i also wanted to be transparent! i’ll include a TL;DR so if you want more info, please look under the cut!

LOVE  YOU ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

original pinned post

TL;DR:

ill be going by my first name now! names jackie, pleasure to meet everybody!

i have bpd and that resulted in me having a terrible breakdown that ended up hurting my friends. i have since made amends and strengthened the bonds with SO many people. 

there is someone i engaged with frequently on my blog i have since blocked. i ask that you be mindful of sending me mp100 fanfic/fanart. i won’t disclose this person’s identity.

i’m BACK! so expect to see me <3

as some of you may know, i suffer from BPD and am believed to be on the spectrum. BPD stands for borderline personality disorder. some quick notes on this disorder and what it entails:

Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person’s ability to manage their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.

People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.

People with borderline personality disorder also tend to view things in extremes, such as all good or all bad. Their interests and values can change quickly, and they may act impulsively or recklessly.

now people with bpd experience something called splitting and this is:

BPD splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It’s when a person sees everything as black or white, good or bad, or best or worst. Splitting is a defense mechanism people living with BPD use to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle. 

this past week, i had the worst episode ive had in a long time and some of you may have seen it going by the last few posts on my blog. i was incredibly volatile, distrusting, and upset but worst of all, i let that affect my relationships. i vented to some people, very similar to the sentiment i was posting on here, but i also said some pretty hurtful things that made these people feel like i discredited their love by saying i didn’t feel that way from anyone. but the thing with bpd, and a lot of other mental illnesses/disorders… it warps our perception and our view on reality. 

all these people wanted to do, like many of you, is help and i pushed it all away preemptively due to past trauma was rejection and abandonment. but this hurt one of the most important people in my life and on top of that, i subtweeted that person on a venting insta for the purpose of hurting them. it’s a big regret of mine and i’ve vowed to NEVER let that happen again to ANYONE. 

mental illness/disorders can explain your reactions and actions but should not excuse it.

i have since made amends with my best friend and everything is back to normal, if not better because i have a new appreciation for her and our unbreakable bond.

but i can’t say the same for someone else, someone that i engaged with pretty often and someone that was special to me.

but i learned that this person… was never a good friend. 

they showed their true colors and showed that they were not as supportive as i thought. now, that’s not to absolve myself of any blame! because i did hurt them too! but instead of being open to communication and growth, they said i had hurt them several times without ever bringing this up to me. they expected me to listen to their venting but suddenly couldn’t when it came to me. that they didn't have the capacity to do so. yet, were upset that i didn't confide in them?

this person is out of my life now. i’ve blocked them on everything. i won’t disclose who this person is but i will be triggered by their art/writing for a long time. again, even though this person has disappointed me greatly and hurt me in turn (with other things i will not go into), i do not wish any hate on them. with that being said, please let me know who the creator is before you share any mob psycho fanart/fanfic with me and i’ll let you know if it’s okay or not.

fortunately though, this taught me a lesson. a lesson in appreciating my friends (AND ALL OF YOU!!!), trusting their word, AND watching what i do and say so i don’t hurt people.

moving on to my content, i am going to be BACK!!! back and posting!!! so expect my ass B) 

we’re back to normal, we’re healthy and we’re striving for growth!!!

[spiderman616]

i love blocking popular blogs preemptively because when i get rich and famous on tumblr they still wont be able to see my wise posts and now you really regret making that one post that pissed me off so bad i blocked you huh

[thefirstimagifabricator]

ngl anyone claiming to be an aot fan who’s also a Zionist has got to have media literacy skills in the negatives bc,,,,,y’all what 😭

if you, the person reading this, are one such person, I’m begging you to please just read my aot analysis in this post at least. Please.

I just rambled out a thread of posts on twt analyzing Attack on Titan in relation to current events, i.e. rebuking Zionism and condemning Israel’s genocide in Palestine, and I’d like to share it here too

I’ll both copy and paste and format it into proper paragraphs and wtv and also attach screenshots of my original tweets, and maybe link the twt post bc why not—anyway here:

if l ever see an aot fan who's a Zionist I gotta assume they've got zero—no, negative honestly—media literacy skills 💀 bc if you watch aot and still hold views like Zionism then like. like buddy did you even really watch the show,,,,,,

thinking abt this bc I’m listening to the aot osts for the first time in a while and aot is just. such a goddamn well-written and sociopolitically-accurate show...and like. you CANNOT watch it and NOT draw the parallels yk???

yes the treatment of Eldians is written to parallel Jews in the Holocaust—and imo that makes this even more relevant today with the genocide Israel is executing in Palestine, bc of two things:

1) if you stand with Eren and Mikasa and Armin, our main trio, then you stand with their decision to fight back against the Marleyans, and to try to be truly free and not just confined to Paradis, and you understand how they’ve come to their decision to invade Marley and try to take down the main force which keeps them imprisoned on the island of Paradis

2) if you're against Eren’s decision to annihilate the entire world so that no one could threaten Eldians again, then you understand proportionality and how perceived vengeance and preemptive ‘defense’ can easily flip dynamics of oppression on their heads. (I know that Eren's plan was actually to have his friends be portrayed to the world as heroes and people to stop discriminating against Eldians as a result, and he never intended to actually fully wipe out the world population, BUT we don't know that until the end and neither do any of the other characters—their decision to fight against and take down Eren was based in their realizing that he was taking things too far and that what he was doing was unjust and that he needed to be stopped)

Do you see where I'm going with this?? People who stand by Zeke's decision are the ones who would say that Palestinians should just lie down and die quietly. There is a reason why Zeke did not get his way in aot!! One cannot ask for innocents to take suffering quietly just for the preservation of the “peace” of the lives of those whom are inflicting such suffering on them. A life in supposed peace built on ongoing pain inflicted on others is an inherently violent life, even if from the inside it does not seem to be so.

Zeke conceived of his plan as a product of the guilt drilled into him by Marleyan propaganda, guilt for just existing as an Eldian person. He may have pushed his plan as the most peaceful option available, but it's really just as violent, just in a quieter fashion; if you actually think about it, it's basically eugenics 💀 sterilizing an entire population without their consent, for the purpose of their dying out and leaving the rest of humanity (supposedly) better off??? literally eugenics thought process 🙃

to that one irl idk-if-I-can-consider-you-a-friend-anymore, if you for wtv reason come stalk my tumblr and see this post, yes I did think of you while writing this. I must say I’m terribly disappointed in you; I hope you’ll come around sometime, preferably before we as a society reach a point of irredeemable, irremediable regret, but as I’d presume you’ve figured out already, I’m done putting energy into trying to pull your mind out of the propaganda cesspit.

screenshots of and link to original twt post under cut:

[ploffskinpluffskin]

i may never have the actual courage to put myself Out There and post this particular story where anyone can see it (aka ao3 hhh) but it did make me smile while writing it

The problem, Natori had long concluded, was that Claudius was not handsome. Had he been even the slightest bit charming, or dashing, or even just relatively well-groomed, then perhaps Natori’s stubborn fondness for the cat might have been easy to explain away as mere infatuation. Certainly it would have left him feeling about as frivolous as a lovelorn schoolgirl, but it at least would not be some frustrating, unexplainable mystery.

Today the lavender-coated cat comes sauntering into the dusty church with a large, wolfish grin, stopping before Natori where he is counting their paltry collection of coins only so he can lean smugly against the doorway and wait. Natori eyes him with as much preemptive exasperation as he can muster (...which isn’t much, much to his own private dismay), and excuses his helper (who, also much to his private despair, regards the pair of them with a look that reads as unreasonably knowing). 

“Toldja I’d come back, babe,” Claudius says when they’re left alone.

“No,” Natori begins sharply, nearly interrupting him. “You told me specifically you were not coming back last time. I remember quite vividly.”

“Bahh, I was just mad. You know I can’t stay away from my favorite bump in the road.” Here Claudius moves closer, paying no mind to Natori’s own prim body language, slipping an arm across the other cat’s shoulders and pulling him close with a light hip check. “I’d get too sad.”

“Well, we can’t have that, I suppose.”

“Nope.”

“And I suppose this new wanted poster I’ve seen around has nothing to do with your impromptu arrival. Just a coincidence that you come back to where you can claim sanctuary just as you’re running from the bureau again?”

“Aw, babe, you’re killin’ me. I’m all genuine, promise.”

“Hm. And just what did you do this time to have their dubious attention?”

Here the other cat leans back, evidently finding the wall a better support for this particular position.

“Eh. You know.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, it’s not important.” Spoken hastily, in an all too telling fashion which Claudius doesn’t appear to recognize as such.

“No?” Natori looks up to fix his smug guest with an eyebrow raised over the flattest gaze he can currently manage, and he must manage it rather well since Claudius responds to it by fidgeting with his paws before he seems to realize what he’s doing. “I would never have imagined you as the type to ever say no to a rousing story.”

Most likely appearing more confident and nonchalant than he feels, Natori leans forward against the table he’d been previously counting coins upon, settling his chin against the butt of his paw.

“What inconceivably humiliating mishap must have occurred, I wonder, to make you reluctant to indulge in a little tall tale.”

Claudius huffs, glaring stormily at the paw he’s currently drawing circles on. 

“Sure doing your damnedest to make me regret coming back, babe,” he eventually grumbles under his breath testily. Here Natori finally smiles at him, cool but undeniably affectionate, despite himself.

“You say the same thing every time, and yet here you are.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Claudius sulks.

“That you might loiter here for reasons other than my use as a bump in the road? Never.”

“Good. Glad we're all copacetic on the matter,” Claudius responds first briskly. At least before he adds moments later, almost mopily, “... the view isn't bad either.”

A long silence passes between them after that, Natori abruptly aware of how he is stretched across the table and wondering furiously to himself whether Claudius’ words were intended to be read as an innuendo. The other cat doesn’t leave him long to wonder— padding over, leaning forward so that they’re nearly nose to nose, and all with a wide, suggestive grin plastered upon his face.

“I think you’re happier to see me than I am to see you, babe. I can tell.”

Not that long ago, Natori would have felt quite scandalized by that. He would have recoiled, bitten off some panicked, impulsive denial, and Claudius would have been left nursing a massively bruised ego. They might even have argued bitterly, to the point that Natori might be left wondering if the other would ever return. 

Here, now, still at least patently unsure what to say, how to say it, he manages only a soft amusement, a slightly crooked look of knowing concession. And the effect must be rather novel, as Claudius remains in his spot as if mesmerized for a fleeting moment, and then hastily pushes himself back up again. Natori is not quite so eager to return to propriety, and is even bold enough to take a moment to stretch before straightening. There’s a mute warmth which has settled in his chest, a familiar comfort he’s in no hurry to analyze or dislodge.

“You haven’t had a meal in a while, have you.” It’s not a question. Claudius’ sheepish hemming and hawing is answer enough. Whatever he tries to say This is about in an attempt to seem the suave, rakish charmer he very much isn’t, Natori knows it ultimately comes down to the food.

It’s as they’re moving further into the church, Claudius quite uncharacteristically trailing behind in a dutiful manner, that the fluffier of the two tries, “Warmed up to me pretty quick this time, you know, babe,” in an attempt to salvage that aforementioned pretense. “I didn’t get you into some trouble last time, did I?”

Natori snorts, not turning around, not otherwise explaining himself, and responds idly, “Stranger things have happened.”