#i personally think that amber would be older than tj by a minute or two

[jinxthinks]

I like the idea of Amber being a few minutes older than TJ hence the 'little brother' part.

Amber: Oh here's your notebook TJ. I accidentally took it to school.

TJ: Thanks. I've been looking for this all day. I was worried. You didn't look inside did you?

Amber: Never crossed my mind. Definitely didn't see all the doodles of you and Cyrus in it with hearts surrounding you guys. Definitely didn't notice how under it in big bold letters it said, 'Mr. and Mr. Kippen'. Didn't notice anything at all.

TJ: You aren't going to tell him are you? I'm afraid he'd stop being my friend if he knew that I...

Amber: Don't worry little brother, I won't say a word to Cyrus. You have it bad for him though. I even read the back part of your notebook because I got curious. There's a very cute story you wrote with the both of you in it where you-

TJ blushing profusely, stops her mid sentence

TJ: Stop! From now on we're making sure we don't have each other's notebooks every morning.

[multimetaverse]

Tyrus in 3c

I’ve gotten a lot of asks about what might happen with Tyrus in the rest of the season and I’ll use this post to answer them all. We can already tell by the fact that they started this story line without the audience actually knowing that TJ is gay and that he and Kira only have 3 eps left that most of this plot is going to be subtextual and off-screen. Things have to end on at least a strained note for Tyrus in 3x15, the real question is whether they reconcile in 3x19 or if they only end up on good terms again as they confess in 3x21. The latter is always an option with Disney’s restrictions but there are some reasons to be cautiously optimistic that we’ll get the former and I have to blindly hope that TJ and Cyrus won’t be made into victims and will be allowed to be the heroes of their own stories. This will be a long post but tldr: what we know of Kira’s screen-time suggests that she’s largely redeemed by the finale, some sort of big gesture is likely needed for TJ to truly apologize to Cyrus like a rap or hug, it’s noteworthy that TJ’s scenes in 3x19 are all at school, and there are some interesting similarities between what’s going on with Jandi and Tyrus and noticeable differences between what’s going on with those ships and Muffy.

TJ and Kira have 3 eps left while Marty has 4-5 and Amber has 6 so already we can tell which story lines are most important. TJ disappears for three eps after 3x15 which is the longest he’s been away since he returned this season and the longest they seem willing to let the important love interests be off-screen. The gap is largely because the wedding is in 3x18 and TJ isn’t allowed to be there but eps 16-18 are likely to span at least several weeks in universe and suggests an opportunity for off screen growth and change on his part. Perhaps most importantly we know for the finale that Raquel was only on set for one day and that was the same day that all of the other main and recurring kids were on set so Kira is not going to get very much screen-time in the finale which along with the fact that she is even at the party suggests she’s already on good terms with Cyrus and TJ.

We know that Raquel was on set for only one day for 3x15 and it seems likely that Luke was only on set for a day as well during the filming of an outdoor basketball game with teen boy players; probably the same set up we saw in 3x13. This must be where Cyrus tries to talk with TJ but doesn’t really get anywhere, it will be interesting to see how angsty of a note they end on and if it’s meant to be something that sticks with us or something that they want us to forget about until 3x19. Fwiw it does look like TJ is wearing the same camo hoodie in 3x15 as he was in 3x07 so an angsty callback to’’ you’re the only person I can talk to like this’’ may be in the cards. Raquel never posted from set during 3x19 (presumably that’s when she appears though if she for some reason needed to have solo scenes with Cyrus she could potentially appear in 3x16 or 3x17). She wasn’t seen in any of the casts posts from that week so she likely wasn’t on set for more than a day for that ep either. 

Three days of filming spread over 3 eps means Kira will be lucky to have more than 5 minutes of screen-time the rest of the season and that her redemption arc will have to be fairly quick. I have to hope that her redemption arc will begin in 3x15 when she realizes or is made to realize the hurt she’s caused TJ and Cyrus. Since Raquel confirmed that Kira knows what’s up with Tyrus I’d expect that the only way to redeem her would be for her to become TJ’s Buffy and support him in his sexuality as Buffy has with Cyrus which would mostly happen off screen but since they’re willing to let them have solo scenes could begin in 3x15, maybe with Kira offering to hear TJ out if he wants to talk. We need to see something from her that shows that she’s not an evil person and that she can learn to do the right thing. 

I’d expect this plot line to look like a peer pressure/manipulation/being true to yourself plot line to little kids and the fear of homophobia story line it is supposed to be for older audiences. It looks like they’re trying to show a coming out story line where the fear isn’t internalized homophobia such as it was with Cyrus but external homophobia but I think that difference will escape much of the audience. We’ve seen TJ be so happy to hang with Cyrus at school or the park or at the spoon or at his work or with his friends so I wonder what little kids think of him suddenly being afraid to be seen matching with Cyrus. 

Where does this leave Cyrus after 3x15? Again the audience has never had it confirmed that Cyrus likes TJ so that affects how the audience sees this conflict. Is he going to be allowed to talk about what’s going on with his friends or will this just be ignored until 3x19? Letting TJ be able to have solo scenes with Kira means that the show can wall this plot off from the rest of the show until 3x19 which is the route they’re going, I fear. 

For Cyrus I think this will primarily look to him like TJ is ashamed to be close to him which is why I find it noteworthy that TJ is at school in 3x19 especially since before the re-shoots 3x19 was the last time the show filmed scenes at school. Cyrus feeling that TJ doesn’t want to be close to him would be devastating for Cyrus even if he’s not allowed to express it on screen. They had TJ say I’m sorry for the first time in 3x13 and he can say it again to Cyrus but I think TJ needs to show Cyrus that he’s important to him. 

Jonah left Cyrus upset after refusing to wear their matching jackets in S1 and even though Jonah didn’t realize or care the hurt he caused Cyrus he did end up making it up to him by publicly praising him at the awards dinner and giving him a space otters jersey and a hug. I don’t think TJ’s apology would get anywhere near that level of attention but I think another rap is likely but this time it’s a more personal message from TJ to Cyrus. Or something like a hug or a callback to’’ He’s with me’’ from 2x08, something that shows Cyrus that he’s important to TJ. I’d imagine Kira would have to help out with whatever spurs their reconciliation so the audience at least doesn’t hate her anymore. I’m not saying TJ has to jump on stage and rap or hug Cyrus on stage but some sort of moment at the school in front of at least a couple of other people is needed for Tyrus to move past this conflict.

Luke was on set for two days in 3x19 and he and Josh had at least one wardrobe change so we’re probably looking at more than one day in universe. The potential Jandi and Tyrus scenes at the game could be very important as I’ll get in to in a bit. It also looks like TJ may have scenes with Buffy and Cyrus and Cyrus has a scene with Gus in the theatre which suggests Cyrus is getting more focus than usual and could be set up for a callback to 3x13 where Cyrus was miserable on stage but in 3x19 he’s happy. 

So far in S3 Tyrus has been cycling through all their big moments: muffin, swings, dyscalculia, and somersaults. If the pattern holds we should get a look back in 3x15. I do think the audience needs something to show that TJ is gay and has a crush on Cyrus if this plot is to have any hope of succeeding. It mirrors something that @cyrusgoodboye noted after S2 aired; that in 2x12 Andi listed all the things Jonah had failed to do in what she thought was their relationship and then in 2b Jonah did all those things in the order she listed as they rekindled their relationship. 

One thing that really caught my eye in 3x13 is the out of nowhere Jandi/Tyrus parallel they threw in with both Jonah and TJ letting down Andi and Cyrus (though for obviously different reasons). All of the GHC have a thing for sporty white guys but Andi and Cyrus have a more specific type: green eyed captains with hidden depths and secrets and poor coping mechanisms; which is why the both liked Jonah in S1. Andi and Cyrus are more alike than they are with Buffy just as Jonah and TJ are more alike than they are with Marty. Jonah and TJ have been written as foils from the beginning of TJ’s arc and the show even invented a past for them and has now established them as friends. 

In contrast things are going much smoother for Muffy. The show could have dug into Marty icing Buffy out but the show blamed Buffy and dismissed it out of hand. That’s not to say they won’t have drama and angst but ‘’the boy I like has a girlfriend’’  is an order of magnitude less than the issues Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ are facing. What’s also interesting is that Muffy is the only endgame couple that are together by the wedding. We know that Machel sinks in 3x17 as Marty is at the wedding in 3x18; he’s not there as Buffy’s platonic plus one. But obviously Tyrus doesn’t canon until 3x21 and Jonah singing You Girl to Andi isn’t until 3x20 which seems like that’s the big Jandi get back together moment. So both Jandi and Tyrus having scenes together in 3x19 shortly before they canon is very interesting timing and opens up the potential for more endgame parallels.

Another reason I think there may be another rap is that Terri does like to recycle her work and Cyrus realized his crush on TJ during the first rapology and during the second he could realize that TJ likes him back; it’s like poetry it rhymes. It would also create another parallel between Tyrus and Jandi as both of their love interests make a big gesture. 

That’s not to say that Tyrus will get anywhere near the attention Jandi or even Muffy gets, it’s far too late for that, but it is interesting that the writers seem to be linking Tyrus with Jandi more so than Muffy; it does suggest a certain ambition on their part even if those ambitions are frustrated. 

There are lots of interesting paths for the show to take in 3x19, but as always when it involves Cyrus’ story line, it’s a question of what they’ll be allowed to do. We have Andi and Jonah and Cyrus and TJ in the same scenes for only the 3rd time in the show and the first time they’ve been at the same game since 2x18. There’s potential for Jonah to call back to his ‘’are they friends’’ line and they’ve gone out of their way to make Jonah and TJ friends, will there be any pay off to that? Jonah knows that Cyrus is gay and knows what a look back means, Andi knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects TJ has a crush on Cyrus and is only allowed into Cyrus’ sexuality story line rarely, Buffy would be at the game and she knows that Cyrus is gay and suspects that TJ has a crush on Cyrus and has always been Cyrus’ staunchest supporter, hell Cyrus even has scenes at the spoon with Amber who knows what look backs mean.

The posters we saw in 3x07 spell out the endgame of all this; for TJ to take pride in who he is and for Kira to learn to respect others. Does TJ resuming his openly affectionate ways give Cyrus the confidence to decide to come out to him? The narrative is asking TJ to in a fairly quick time span be okay with being out to the whole world; something it has never demanded of Cyrus. With Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Kira all knowing about them does that mean Cyrus and TJ will be allowed to act coupley in front of everyone at the party after they confess or can only those four other characters know? Does TJ even have scenes with Marty and Amber? Bex and Bowie are at the party and Bex likely knows that Cyrus is gay from their talk in 2x07 and both of them know who TJ is from 2x18, are they allowed to be the supportive adults who congratulate Cyrus or must they be kept in the dark as well? I can only hope that Terri managed to convince Gary Marsh  to  let her pull off a satisfying arc in these remaining eps

[thirteen-beaxhes]

Delayed - Chapter 2: Reunions

Summary:  “All felt like they knew the others were far away, living ideal lives. They kept to their windows and phones for the ride, thinking about the others. They reminisced separately but prayed for the night to go by fast, to get to the places they needed to go. But the night hadn’t even begun yet.” High school ended 6 years ago, and with it, so did the friendship between Andi, Buffy, Cyrus, Jonah, TJ and Amber. But now their flight is delayed and they are stuck in a hotel together for the night. Not much can change in one night, though. Can it?

ALL LINKS IN REBLOG

~~~~~~~~~

The bus pulled up to the hotel, the sun well below the horizon by now. Andi pulled out one of her earphones at the sudden halt, peering forward where the conductor was asking them to ‘exit in an orderly fashion and go to the lobby’. She sighed, moving to get up, throwing her duffel bag over her shoulder. She trudged out of the bus with the other unfortunate people who were stuck there that night. When they entered the hotel, they were all directed to this seating area, charitably called a ‘lobby’, where they had to wait while rooms were arranged for them.

Andi huffed, letting the reassurances of ‘We will have it under control soon,’ and ‘We will handle everything,’ slide over her. She sank into a chair near a plug point, pushing in her phone charger and breathing a quiet sigh of relief when the screen lit up. As she scrolled through her phone, checking her posts, she landed on a picture of her in high school, scrolling by as fast as she could. She couldn’t afford to look back at that part of her life, to look back and miss the perfect days when her life was in shambles around her. She would much rather forget those days rather than keep living with the fact that if only…

See, that’s why. Just forget it and scroll ahead.

Andi sighed and glanced up towards the buffet being laid out for the passengers in the hotel, looking back down. But something made her do a double take. Or rather someone.

By the tables, a tall girl was pacing and talking on the phone, occasionally rolling her eyes but laughing. Her curly hair was up in a bun on her head, and she was wearing a sports hoodie and sneakers. She looked older than before, obviously, but there was no mistaking who it was.

Andi felt her throat go dry, her mind racing at the speed of light, trying to process the fact that this was real. That it was really her.

Buffy Driscoll. One of Andi’s best friends since 2nd Grade till High School. A fellow member of the Good Hair Crew. One of her perfect friends.

Andi didn’t really feel herself get up, didn’t realise she was walking across the lobby until she was just behind Buffy, who was just putting down the phone. Andi shakily drew a deep breath, unexpectedly nervous. Finally, she reached out and tapped Buffy on the shoulder with her finger.

“Fancy seeing you here,” she said, causing Buffy to turn around quickly, her eyes wide. It took a minute for her to take in Andi’s appearance, before her face broke into a huge smile. Buffy squealed and pulled Andi into a bone-crushing hug. Andi felt herself smile too, wrapping her arms around Buffy as tight as she could. They spent what felt like forever just clinging onto each other, the surroundings feeling dull in comparison. Eventually, Buffy pulled herself away from Andi, her eyes filled up slightly.

“Oh my god, it feels like forever!” she said, grabbing Andi’s shoulders. “You look so different! Good different of course,” she added. “And your hair! I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this length!”

“Well, I underwent a real style transformation,” Andi said, flipping her hair forward. “But look at you, still rocking those sports clothes, I see.”

Buffy laughed slightly, looking down. “Yeah, I didn’t go too much for travel outfits. Comfort over looks any day.”

“Is that a dig at my outfit? I have an aesthetic to keep up, you know.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “What is that? Badass biker?”

Andi’s smiled dropped a bit, her walls being pushed against. “Close, but no.”

After the initial excitement and happiness, the awkward tension grew in between them, Buffy sensing Andi’s change in manner. Both were unsure of what else to say. They glanced back at the other, giving an awkward smile but looking away. This never used to happen to them back in school, but here they were, the silence between them growing. Andi looked down, catching sight of Buffy’s hand, where sat a silver ring. She gasped, grabbing her hand.

“Oh my god, is that what I think it is?” she said, the smile on her face coming back.

Buffy tried to hide her excited smile but to no avail. She held up her hand, showing the ring. “It may be.”

“So, who is it?” Andi asked teasingly.

Buffy’s smile softened, her eyes fond. “It’s Marty.”

“Whoa,” Andi said, her words just louder than a whisper. “After all this time?”

“We met again last time I was in Shadyside, and it just felt right? With him, it always has,” Buffy said.

“I’m so happy for you, Buffy. I really am,” Andi said, clasping her hand.

Buffy sighed, sniffing a bit. She pushed Andi’s shoulder slightly, an unusual gesture but not unwelcome. “What about you? How’s that front of your life?”

Almost instantly, it felt as if all the air had been sucked out of Andi’s lungs. She just kept looking at Buffy, her mind drawing a blank.

Actually, there was no blank. There were thoughts circulating, but all of them were… unpleasant. As her mind kept supplying thoughts, she grew more and more frustrated. She tried desperately to internalise it, to throw it behind the walls she had spent months building. Buffy was staring at her in confusion, as Andi tried to find the words to say, but all that came out was silence.

Say something, anything. For fuck’s sake, she’s looking at you like you’re insane.

But thankfully, before she had to say anything or explain herself, a welcome distraction came in the form of a voice calling from behind them.

“Andi? Buffy?”

*

Cyrus had just been heading to the buffet to try and find something to eat, seeing that he hadn’t eaten for a good couple hours. He noticed the girl from the airport standing there talking to another girl, the other in a sports hoodie. They had been talking and hugging as if they had been reunited after years. As he caught a glimpse of her, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew her. Cyrus pinched the bridge of his nose, his headache still not gone, as he wracked his brain trying to figure out who it could be. He looked back at the two girls, hoping that another glance might help him place her. It didn’t help much, he still couldn’t figure out how he knew her. But then he saw the other girl, smiling but her eyebrows furrowed in concern. And that expression made Cyrus feel as if his mind had fallen down a wormhole.

He had seen that expression before. It had been directed at him before by only one person.

That meant…

“Andi? Buffy?” Cyrus called out in utter disbelief. The suitcase he had been dragging along beside him was suddenly forgotten as he walked forward in a daze toward the two girls. They both turned to look at him in shock. And when Cyrus finally got a good look at them he knew he was right.

Andi Mack and Buffy Driscoll.

“Cyrus?!” the both of them said, with shocked smiles on their faces. That was all Cyrus needed to run forward and envelope the two in a group hug. Or, at least try to. He accidentally collided into Andi’s side, pushing the two and nearly toppling them over. The three laughed awkwardly for a bit, before all going into a hug. Cyrus held his two best friends as tight as he could, a part of him convinced that if he didn’t, he would wake up from what clearly had to be a dream.

“What are the odds of all three of us bumping into each other here?” Buffy said after the three pulled away.

Cyrus shook his head, still stunned. “Of all the places we could meet,” he said, stepping back.

“This is by far the craziest thing to happen to me,” Andi said, her smile wide.

The three laughed, Cyrus going back for a moment to get his suitcase from where it was about to become a tripping hazard. When he got back, he finally noticed Buffy’s left hand, doing a double take.

“Wait a minute,” he said, grabbing her hand, eliciting a chuckle from Buffy. “When did this happen? Who is it? How??”

“Like 3 months ago,” Buffy said, shrugging. “Funny thing is Marty and I both asked each other just while we were sitting on the couch watching movies. Just like that.”

“Of course that’s how the proposal went down,” Andi said, facepalming.

“Wait. Marty? From school?” Cyrus asked.

Buffy nodded, looking down at her shoes. “Everyone else I dated after high school was amazing, but I don’t know. I really liked them all, but for some reason, they never lasted. How ever long we went out. Then, a couple years ago, I met Marty in Shadyside while visiting and we started talking again. And I just knew,” she said softly. Hearing her talk couldn’t help but make Andi and Cyrus give each other a look, knowing exactly what the other one was thinking. God, he had missed this.

“Well, we’re really happy for you Buffy,” Andi said, reaching forward to squeeze Buffy’s shoulder. Cyrus nodded his head with a smile.

“Thanks guys,” Buffy said, going in to hug the two. “God, I never realised how much I missed you guys.”

“I know, it’s been forever,” Cyrus said. “Last I met Andi was 4 years ago and I met Buffy five years ago.”

“That’s too long, it should be illegal for us to be apart that long,” Andi said, pulling away first. Cyrus sighed in agreement.

“Well, I guess one good thing came out of this flight being delayed,” Cyrus said with a small laugh.

The three stood in relative silence, unsure of what to say now that the initial high of reuniting had faded, and all three were painfully reminded that none of them were the people who had left high school 6 years ago.

“So, what’s been up with you guys?” Buffy asked, trying to break the silence.

Andi shrugged, her face neutral. “Nothing really. Since uni ended, I got an offer from Buzzfeed as a content creator. Some DIY stuff, like crafts and writing and stuff.”

“Andi, that’s great,” Buffy said with a smile, confused by Andi’s lack of reaction.

“Yeah, still haven’t decided whether I’m gonna take it. I might go down the design route, like interior or product of something,” Andi replied, crossing her hands.

Buffy nodded slowly, not completely understanding Andi’s thoughts anymore. She turned to Cyrus. “What about you, Cy?”

“Well, I still have to study for my PhD if I wanna be a therapist,” Cyrus said. “But on the other hand, YouTube seems to be going well. So the film-making part is going on too.”

“That’s great, Cyrus,” Andi said, flashing a quick smile.

“And? I’m not just talking about studies you know?” Buffy said with a cheeky smile, aware of how cringey she sounded. But something felt off about the conversation, and she didn’t like it. Things had to be the way they used to.

Cyrus laughed quietly. “Well, don’t look at me about that. Haven’t been in a relationship longer than a couple days for 6 years now.”

Buffy narrowed her eyes. “Seriously? Why not?” Cyrus just shrugged in response. “You mean nobody since…”

“Nope,” Cyrus interrupted before Buffy could say his name, his heart for some reason beating fast. Why? He was over him. He HAD to be. 6 years for heaven’s sake.

Andi nodded her head, thankfully drawing Buffy’s attention away from him. “I get it. Same situation with me,” she said, lifting her shoulders slightly.

“Oh my god, you two,” Buffy sighed, shaking her head.

“Relationships aren’t the end all, be all of life Buffy. Not for everyone,” Andi said, her words coming across a bit harsher than she intended, a fact she only realised when she saw Buffy flinch. But she couldn’t take it back, even if she regretted it.

Cyrus narrowed his eyes, staring at Andi in confusion. “Wait, really? Nothing?” Andi nodded. “But then when I met you 4 years ago, who was that guy?”

Fuck.

“Cuz I remember you introduced him as your boyfri-”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Cyrus, you must be mistaken,” Andi said quickly, cutting off Cyrus as fast as she could, before he said anything. Fuck how could she have forgotten he’s met him, fuck fuck fuck.

Buffy was now staring at her weirdly, as Cyrus waved his hand, shaking his head. “No no no. I remember it clearly. What was his name?” he muttered, snapping his fingers. “I think it was Jake or Jame-”

“Cyrus, I told you you’re mistaken, so you’re fucking mistaken!” Andi hissed loudly, taking Cyrus aback. “God, you really have to stick your nose in everything, don’t you? Sometimes you need to learn to just drop it,” she said, grabbing her bag and walking away, leaving Buffy and Cyrus standing there dumbfounded. Everyone around them had gone silent when Andi had snapped, but soon the mutterings and assorted conversations resumed.

Buffy moved closer to Cyrus, both staring in the direction Andi had walked away.

Cyrus just sighed. “Well, shit.”

*

Andi stalked over to the buffet table in the restaurant, ignoring all the stares and the muttering. Not because she didn’t care. She’d just gotten used to it. Stares, comments, whispers were second nature to her now. She grabbed a plate, walking down the line of cloches, trying to find something vaguely interesting.  However, she was so engrossed in reading the labels that she collided with someone coming the other way.

“Sorry!” the voice yelled.

“Watch where you’re going!” Andi said at the same time, looking up at the person, annoyed. But she froze when she saw his face.

He was staring at her curiously, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to pinpoint why exactly the person before him looked so familiar. “Do I know you?” he asked, pointing at her.

Andi gave him a small smile. “Well, you did. Back when I had shorter hair and no leather jacket. At least, not this colour.”

At first, he just shook his head slightly, but then realisation flooded features, coupled with his characteristic charming smile.

“Andi?!”

“Hey Jonah.”

“Whoa you look different,” he said, before immediately holding up his hands. “Good different! I mean, cool!”

Andi laughed softly, grabbing his hand. “It’s okay Jonah, I know what you meant.” She set her plate down on the table, going in for a hug that Jonah happily reciprocated.  “How have you been?”

“Oh, you know. Music and stuff,” Jonah said with a shrug, his eyes moving to the side briefly. He pulled at the hem of his shirt, trying to resist the urge to ball up the fabric. He looked at Andi, trying not to stare but finding it hard. She looked so different. Leather jacket. Studs. Was that a tattoo?

“Whoa, that’s great! I’m still working with crafts,” Andi said, tilting her head to the side. She couldn’t stop herself from staring at Jonah. Still handsome. But probably still oblivious. But handsome.

“If you didn’t, I don’t know how I would’ve reacted,” Jonah said with a wink, sending Andi laughing, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Jonah couldn’t help but smile and laugh along. Maybe not go down that rabbit hole, he chided himself, shifting his expression to a more neutral happy one.

The two went silent, unsure of what to say. It seemed to be a running theme now, not knowing what to say. But soon, Andi picked up her plate and turned to Jonah with a smile.

“Fried rice?”

*

After an awkward goodbye, Cyrus walked over to the restaurant, making sure to steer clear of Andi, who was talking to a person who looked uncannily like Jonah.

Probably was Jonah. It’s practically a Shadyside reunion. Oh-fucking-great.

Cyrus just turned away, grabbing a quarter plate of salad and throwing some fries in too, and sitting down at a corner table, hoping to just scroll through his phone in peace and quiet. The night had already drained him out, and it had barely begun.

A part of him was sad that his friend group no longer felt like it did. But what could he have expected? At the end of the day, all of them had parted ways, growing up in different places, living different lives. Them meeting at this hotel before leaving on another flight was just to show how far they had gone. It hurt, but he would just have to get used to it, wouldn’t he?

Cyrus had just about unlocked his phone and opened Twitter when he heard a quiet gasp behind him. Or so he thought. He just ignored it and continued to scroll through dog pictures and memes, exhaling slightly at some of the posts. Just then, he felt someone stand in front of him.

“Is that seat taken?”

Only one person ever really said that to him in that way. But it couldn’t be him. No. No it couldn’t.

Could it?

Unable to believe his ears, Cyrus slowly looked up, mouth slightly open. But when he locked eyes with the person, he knew he was right in what he thought. He gulped, his throat suddenly dry.

“TJ.”

~~~~~~~

Hey guys hope you liked this chapter! Let me know what you think. I’ll try and update this as regularly as i can.

@pixieangelprincess @luzawithoutu @terri-does-gods-work @sxshx-sxshx @tozbier

lmk if you wanna be tagged in future updates!

[gayexistentialcrisis]

Tumblr Connections Ch. 4

Cyrus pushes his food around his tray, sighing happily as he remembered the hug he shared with TJ just the day before. Suddenly he snapped back to reality when a hand waved in front of his face.

“Hello? Earth the Cyrus.” Andi said playfully with a knowing smile.

“What could you have possibly been thinking about? Wait I know- TJ? Or was it mystery boy this time?” Jonah said, casting his eyes towards Andi as if they knew something he didn’t. He covered his face with his hands, feeling the heat of his blush.

“I wondered if TJ stands for something. Hmm… T…. could be, Theodore? Tyler? Taylor? Trey?” Buffy said, pursing her lips and tapping her chin with her forefinger. Marty laughed at his girlfriend and turned to Cyrus.

“Even I don’t know the answer to that one, you all are on your own with this sleuthing business.” He said, smiling so his dimples showed. Cyrus had to admit that he found Marty to be cute, his dimples were a complete weakness, but the track star wasn’t his type. His eyes drifted over to the table where the basketball team sat, eyes catching on TJ to find him already staring at him. He quickly turned away, back to the conversation.

“Wait- I know! It’s gotta be Tristian! And J, hm���. I’d say James because it’s common. Tristian James. I’d say that could be a real contender for what TJ means.” Jonah said, as Andi gently elbowed him and they leaned closer, whispering to each other so no one else could hear.

“I, uh, just remembered. I need to be somewhere else.” Cyrus said, quickly standing up and practically running out of the lunch room. It wasn’t that he cared about them playing around like that, it was what they were talking about. Trying to make a connection between TJ and his online mystery boy. There’s no possible way, TJ was straight anyways.

“Hey! Cyrus wait!” He heard a voice call from behind him and he slowed his steps until he stopped, still not turning to face the person as he sighed, trying to get his breath back, slightly breathless from his departure from his friends. He closed his eyes just as TJ stepped in front of him and he lowered his head.

“You okay Underdog? I was worried when I saw you rush out of the cafeteria like that.” TJ said, placing his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder but still keeping his distance. Cyrus finally looked up at him and forced a smile, trying to decide on what to tell the taller boy.

“Uh… yeah. I’m fine. They were just teasing me about something.” He finally decided on telling a half truth and wrinkled his brow, tilting his head to the side as he looked away from TJ.

“Do you want me to talk to them? No one treats my Underdog like that. I’ll handle this.” The basketball player went to go turn away and head back the way he came from but Cyrus quickly grabbed his hand, holding him in place.

“No no no, it’s okay. I just needed to breathe. I know they didn’t mean to upset me. I’m not mad at them. Walk with me?” Cyrus asked softly, biting his lip while he waited for TJ’s reply. The taller boy smiled widely, a blinding smile that made Cyrus momentarily forget how to breathe, and nodded. He felt his face heat up and he cast his eyes downward, realizing he was still holding TJ’s hand and he quickly dropped it, missing the hurt look on his face as Cyrus nervously rubbed his hands against his jeans.

Both boys turned and walked down the hallway together in silence, their shoulders occasionally bumping with their close proximity.

“Is it okay if I ask what they were teasing you about? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” TJ asked after a few seconds of continued silence. Cyrus breathed in deeply, turning to face TJ quickly, before stopping and grabbing his forearm gently.

“Okay, if I tell you… promise not to think any differently of me? I just really don’t want this to ruin our friendship or for you to be disgusted by me..” Cyrus said softly, looking anywhere but at the boy in front of him, biting the inside of his cheek harshly.

“Muffin, I promise, nothing could ever change the way I think about you. You’re my best friend. Always will be.” TJ smiled warmly, a slight look in his eyes that Cyrus couldn’t quite decipher but he exhaled loudly and stood up straight, squaring his shoulders.

“I’m gay Teej. They were teasing me about a boy I like and how I always talk about him but I don’t even know him.” Cyrus rushes out before looking down, hoping he doesn’t ask who because he really didn’t want TJ to know about Tristian. After a minute of silence, Cyrus looked up, seeing an array of emotions crossing TJ’s face. He slowly backed away.

“Oh my god, I should not have told you. You’re going to be disgusted by me now..” Cyrus mumbled, tears filling his eyes as he gestured wildly with his hands. That seemed to snap TJ out of his thoughts.

“Woah, Underdog, I’m not disgusted. I’m shocked that you thought this could change our friendship. You do know my sister is a lesbian right?” TJ asked, his voice taking on a teasing tone.

“Sister?” Cyrus asked, knitting his brows together in confusion. He has a sister? Why did I not know this? He thought then shook him head, another thought entering his head. Just like I didn’t tell him I’m gay. We don’t know everything about each other.

“Yeah. She’s older than you. We would be in the same grade, but I got held back so it makes sense you don’t know about her. She works at The Spoon though, maybe you know her? Amber. She looks just like me.” He laughed loudly as Cyrus’ jaw dropped, taking in the information.

“Amber? Amber is your sister? How did I not know this! Wait- you said lesbian, she dated Jonah?” Cyrus asked, his mind reeling while trying to process what he had heard.

“Yeah, and you dated Iris but here we are.” TJ started matter-of-factly with a smug grin on his face. Cyrus felt his face heat up from embarrassment and playfully pushed TJ back by his shoulder. He could feel his heart hammering out of his chest at the lazy smile that rested on the blond’s face at their banter.

“Muffin, will you come to my practice after school? We can go to The Spoon after. I’ll even buy you baby taters.” TJ said, a hopeful glint to his eyes.

“Of course! Your number one fan will be there. I was supposed to go to get some baby taters and milkshakes with Buffy and Andi later anyways so we could meet up with them after your practice?” Cyrus suggested as he began walking again, the other boy following after a few steps.

“Sounds good to me.” TJ called out just as the bell rang. Cyrus smiled and waved to him over his shoulder, thankful that school was almost over so he could watch his boy practice.

________

Cyrus felt weird being in the gym after school was finished for the day. Well actually I feel weird in the gym every time I step foot in here. He thought, looking at the handful of boys that were on the basketball court as he walked in. His eyes caught on TJ who was caught up in whatever drill he was running through. He silently sat on the bleachers, pulling a notebook out of his backpack to scribble down ideas for a new story he wanted to write. He was going to base it off of his life, using the characters from Love, Simon. With his tongue slightly sticking out of the side of his mouth in concentration, began writing.

“Hey, what are you working on?” He heard a voice say from above him. He furrowed his brows and looked up, realizing practice was done and an unknown boy was standing in front of him. Cyrus was momentarily unable to speak as he took in the boy. He had never seen him before, he would have definitely remembered. Tan skin, light brown hair that looked so soft that he wanted to run his fingers through it, and his eyes. His eyes were Cyrus’ favorite part, shining emerald green that held a mischievous glint.

“Underdog!” Cyrus blinked rapidly, turning to face TJ who was jogging up to the pair. Cyrus smiles, shoving his notebook back in his backpack and stood up, nearly knocking into the new boy.

“S-sorry…” Cyrus mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact.

“I see you’ve met Ander. He just transferred here and already joined the team. Ander, this is my Underdog, Cyrus.” TJ spoke, lightly hitting Ander on the shoulder as he smiled. Cyrus coughed awkwardly at the use of ‘my Underdog’.

“Oh! So you two are together?” Ander asked, confusion written across his face.

“No! I mean… no, just best friends.” Cyrus laughed softly, tightening his grip on the straps of his backpack. TJ looked at Cyrus, frowning a bit at his reaction.

“Well… can we be friends to? I could always use some. I can give you my number now?” Ander said, a playful smirk on his face while taking a small step toward Cyrus. Out of the corner of his eye, Cyrus saw TJ take a step forward, his hand moving up from his side toward Ander before stopping and dropping back down.

“Um… I guess so…” Reaching into his pocket to grab his phone and hand it to the other boy, Cyrus glanced over at at TJ, who had a deep scowl on his face, his arms crossed across his chest. What’s his problem? As soon as he got his phone back, he turned to his best friend, smiling lightly.

“Ready to go to The Spoon?” Cyrus asked, ignoring Ander who walked away. TJ turned to watch the new boy walking away, the scowl still present on his face as he turned to face Cyrus again, his face not showing any emotion.

“I can’t. Have to be home. I’ll text you later.” The taller boy said in a monotone voice before turning away and walking out of the gym, leaving Cyrus hurt and confused.

“Wait! TJ, are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” Cyrus asked, his voice rising as he panicked, tripping over his own feet as he raced after the basketball player. He heard TJ sigh and stopped suddenly, causing Cyrus to crash into him before falling to the floor.

“No Cyrus, I’m not mad at you. I just… I don’t want you to replace me with him.” He finished his sentence as his voice dripped with venom, extending a hand down to Cyrus to help him up.

“Replace you? He could never replace you Teej! You’re my not-so-scary-basketball-guy. There’s only room in my heart for one of those. You will always be my best friend.” Cyrus said, gripping TJ’s hand and pulling himself up, crashing into the other boys chest as a result. Oh wow… he’s really warm. And smells good. How does he smell good? He should be sweaty! Cyrus cringed as TJ cleared his throat, causing Cyrus to look up at him.

“Not that this isn’t new or anything but… what happened to personal space?” He asked, raising a brow as he glanced down to where Cyrus’ hands were pressed against his chest.

“Ah! I’m so sorry. Uh- can you really not go to The Spoon?” Cyrus asked, backing up quickly and pretending to brush off dirt on his pants from the fall.

“Yeah, that’s what I was going to tell you before Ander started flirting with you.” TJ said, a hard edge present in his voice. I’ll have to ask him later if something happened between them. Cyrus thought as he frowned.

“I was looking forward to those baby taters.” And you. Cyrus thought bitterly, biting his tongue to keep himself from saying it outloud.

“You’re still going with Andi and Buffy. How about you and I go on Friday? Before your movie night thing.” TJ asked, continuing his walk out of the school with Cyrus following beside him. Cyrus felt his stomach fill with butterflies at the mention of movie night. He listened and remembered.

“T-that would work for me. Right after school?” Cyrus couldn’t help the hopeful tone his voice had taken on. TJ smiled, stopping to give Cyrus a quick hug before backing away to walk in the direction of his house.

“Right after school I promise.” TJ smiled widely, continuing to walk backwards as Cyrus smiled, a blush coloring his cheeks.

“I’ll text you later Kippen!” Cyrus called out, lifting his arm to wave at TJ, a soft laugh escaping his mouth as the other boy stumbled before catching himself. Cyrus turned around, starting in the direction of The Spoon.

“Oh and Cyrus? You’re my Underdog. Don’t forget that. No one else’s.” Cyrus choked, whipping around to catch a fleeting glimpse of the earth shattering smile TJ gave him before he turned and started running home.

Oh yeah, I’m definitely gone for this boy.

[kippentrash]

OH MY GOSH I SAW THE EPISODE FOR THE FIRST TIME LIKE 30 MINUTES AGO AND I CRIED. Cyrus actually said it, no hinting, no going around it. He's gay. I was a Jyrus shipper not gonna lie but Tyrus has overtaken me and platonic Jyrus is amazing! Andi's little smile when TJ walked in...She seems to suspect and I loved her and Cece talking

(2/2 heres my replies to your questions!) I am in the Pacific Time Zone (Oregon/Washington area), I love Andi Mack and Blue Planet for shows, Inception for movie, favorite book ooof probably The Guardians series! I love the color brown, like an amber. I think I might be more pastel, but been told I’m a neon :) -ghostie anon PS I FORGOT TO SAY THIS BUT, when Buffy and Andi were talking about the phone I was like “please don’t fight guys” I love the GHC, them and you deserve the world

AHHHH I"M GOING TO TRY ONE MORE TIME WITH THESE ASKS BUT TUMBLR F YOU SERIOUSLY LET ME SEND ASK AND CRY ABOUT ANDI MACK. This episode was too powerful, Jonah being open, Cyrus coming out to Jonah! The platonic Jyrus is amazing. Buffy and Andi interacting about Marty and Walker (I want them to meet) and TJ appearing! So many tears tbh. I loved this episode and it has all of my uwus forever -ghostie anon

AHHH SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE GHOSTIE I’VE BEEN PACKED BECAUSE I HAVE 3 FRIENDS WITH BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEKEND SO MY SCHEDULES A BIT CRAMPED ;w; I’m putting most of it under a cut because I pretty much responded to each part individually so it’s like really long and jumbled whoops

But oh my god same at literally everything ahhhh daklsjda THEY LET HIM SAY THE WORDS “I’M GAY” I’M STILL SHOOK. I’m so glad that Andi Mack and Josh are able to be the ones to bring to the screen this iconic moment in Disney history, especially after everything else they’ve done. I still only half believe it. Wow.

Also like 90% of my wardrobe is black with like 5% red or blue, so I only wore some green accessories ;w; rip. I tried.

If I’m being honest, I never shipped Jyrus but that doesn’t mean I don’t freakin love platonic Jyrus with all my heart. I’m so glad that with Jonah and Cyrus there’s this comfortable and open friendship between guys that’s depicted so well and instead of two guys always trying to act all cool and tough towards each other, it shows it’s fine and honestly beautiful to have two close guy friends care and be so supportive towards one another. Even though Cyrus is gay, that doesn’t change the fact that Jonah will still be a kind and supportive friend and vice versa it’s just a fact that had to be said, and his reaction to it was just AHHH. And same with Cyrus supporting Jonah through his panic attacks, he didn’t lie and say “of course they’ll get easier eventually” because it’s not necessarily true that they ever get better, even if that’s what Jonah wanted him to say,; yet he still did reassure him with “that’s what you need to remember: that they end” to help him out and remind him that it’s survivable. Platonic Jyrus gets all my uwus it’s just so beautiful and AHSKJADHKS

Tyrus has overtaken me as well oh my god that moment was so soft and Luke’s doing freakin AMAZING at making TJ so very soft especially with the “of course I came” line I seriously adore the entire cast so much they’re so talented. Andi and Buffy’s shared look is me with my friends around their crushes all the time or when we’re like owo what’s this?? So that PLUS the texts between them got me over the edge ohmygod

CECE AND ANDI OH MY GOD THAT MADE ME WANT TO CRY. It made me appreciate my grandma even more than ever honestly to remember she’s still here and is always so helpful and supportive and even though she’s not the most fluent in English does her best and tries to get involved and know what’s going on with my life and Ima cry. The recent episodes have been doing really really well with the interactions between Andi and her family and I just adore them so much. 

Buffy and Andi conflict was like “Buffy I get what you feel but Andi I get what you feel too please communicate yall are more understanding of each other but shady is no bueno ;-;” I’m glad though that Buffy did eventually tell both her and Cyrus, but oh my gosh her FACE of defeat when she finally did like “I know what you guys are about to think but please be chill for once in your lives.” Good to see that both Andi and Cyrus are still the biggest Muffy shippers. Everyone’s talking ‘bout Andi’s teasing Buffy about it but did you hear Cyrus’s squeaky “what???” That was the sound of containing yourself when your friend is talking to someone you ship them with don’t change my mind because that’s me with my friends.

I so want all of them to meet (Marty and Walker and TJ) and I’m sad Walker got written off before he and Marty or he and TJ ever got the chance to interact. It would have been interesting to see how Marty and Walker react to each other similar to how we got to see Walker and Jonah interact, and I’m genuinely curious about how Walker would have reacted to TJ and if the others would tell him about old TJ or just leave the past in the past. Honestly I just love the friendships in this show, the GHC + Jonah + Walker + Amber + Marty + TJ + Libby would be the dream. But just from last ep GHC + Jonah was beautiful and even though the moment was inherently romantic the friendship connotations of Tyrus last episode (TJ being there for Cyrus when he needed his friends to support him through the loss in general) was so sweet too. 

TL:DR; I love so much of that episode!!! It’s in a heated battle between Bash Mitzfah as my favorite ep primarily because Bash Mitzfah was so fun and had more time to do more things without having to rush. I need to rewatch it so I can decide but ahhhh it was SO GOOD MY HEART

As for the personal questions, I’ve never heard of Blue Pacific... is it a newer or older show? Oh my Inception is a mind fk LOL, and my brother read the Guardians (I think I’m thinking of the right one, the one with the owls?) awhile back but I never really tried it or got into it I think. How many books is it? :o And ooo a warm color liker, amber’s a nice shade! And lol I like how you see yourself as a pastel while others see you as a neon because they’re so starkly different LMAOO

Sorry again for the late response to your asks ghostie!!! ;w; Hope you have a nice day and weekend you lovely lovely human! Or should I say spirit since I call you ghostie lol ;P

[itoldheraboutyou]

i feel different - chapter 2

you can read previous chapters here: ch 1 ao3 link

notes:  it’s been awhile i know lol. sorry about the short chapter, you’ll get more interaction next time, promise. again this is based off of a soap opera plot that jumps from storyline to storyline, meaning scenes are 3 minutes at most which doesn’t give me a lot to work with. but don’t worry, there’s a lot of original content going in here too. none of this makes sense, enjoy the chapter.

chapter 2

walking to bowie’s shop is probably going to be harder than actually speaking to cyrus, or at least that’s what i’m telling myself. it’s been three days since our talk in the bathroom, and cyrus hasn’t so much as looked at me. after stressing out and mentioning it to amber, she suggested i go straight to him and ask about it in hopes of lessening the anxiety. i wasn’t even skeptical, anything to calm down. is this called being irrational? oh well, i’m here now. just as i’m about to reach out and grab the door handle, i notice a figure at the counter. i squint, putting a hand over my eyes to shield the sun so i can look clearly through the glass. it’s none other than tj kippen, jefferson middle schools resident sexist basketball player. i open the door and slip inside, going remotely unseen. upon further inspection, tj is leaning up against the counter and smiling at cyrus. a strange feeling festers inside of me as i try and listen to what they’re saying. i can’t hear them, but i know that if i could whatever this feeling is would be worse. exasperated, i walk right up to them, any consequences be damned. “hey cyrus.” i say, completely ignoring tj.

“jonah, hi.” cyrus says, sounding a little surprised.

“uh,” tj clears his throat. “hey.”

i don’t even look his way. “cyrus i wanted to talk to you.”

“okay,” cyrus says slowly, lifting his eyebrows. “tj-“

“ya, no, i have to go anyway.” he interrupts him, straightening up. “bye cyrus. jonah.” he gives me the fakest smile i’ve ever seen, even faker than one of mine.

cyrus waves, and i wait until i hear the door close before deciding that this is absolutely irrational. “what was he doing here?”

cyrus looks a little taken aback, but he answers me. “um, we’ve been hanging out recently.” he says, finishing up cleaning the counter which i just now notice he’s doing.

“i thought he was scary basketball guy?” i scoff. is this even anger? i don’t know what it is but i’m upset.

“well, now he’s not so scary basketball guy.” he shrugs, coming out from behind the counter. does he not see the flaw in any of this?

“cyrus, he’s a bully! i don’t want you-“ i stop myself mid sentence. what don’t i want him doing? “i don’t want him,” i rephrase. “bullying you.”

“jonah,” cyrus smiles. “i appreciate that you worry but i’m fine, really.” his bright smile paired with his eyes is distracting, so distracting i forget where i am for a second. “hey-“ cyrus reaches towards me but i flinch out of the way.

“why have you been ignoring me?” i blurt, seeing cyrus’ face change from worry to confusion. does tj have anything to do with this?

“what?”

“the last few days,” i rush to try and get out everything i wanted to say. “you’ve been distant.”

“i’ve been distant because i thought that’s what you wanted from me.” cyrus explains, sounding a bit defensive.

oh my god, of course it’s my fault. everything is nowadays. “no, no that’s- that’s the opposite of what i want from you!” i babble, everything i wanted to say completely out the window at this point.

cyrus waits until i shut up, which takes me longer than you’d think. everything is just coming out... wrong. “i just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” he says, as if the whole situation really comes down to that.

“it’s not like that. i- i just thought we were good, ya know? like, we talked about our thing and- and i just, we can talk now.” i say, hoping this will come across the way i’m hoping.

“jonah, you’re making this really hard for me.” he says, sounding so lost.

“hard?”

“you say one thing one day and something different the next. you need to be clear with me jonah, i’m not a mind reader.” he says, almost pleading.

“you’re right.” i sigh, admitting defeat. he’s totally right, but it’s not like i know how to control whatever’s going on with me. “i... just had a really hard time after the kiss, okay?” i take a deep breath, realizing that’s the most honest i’ve been in awhile. “you had people you could talk to, i didn’t.”

“jonah,” cyrus shakes his head as his eyebrows knit together, searching my eyes for something. “you could’ve talked to me-“

“no, i’m not...” i can’t even say the word, that’s how bad this is. “i like girls.”

cyrus looks away from me. “i know.”

“so you were right when you said it was a mistake.” i really just enjoy digging my own grave, and it seems that’s where i’m taking these lies.

“if it really was a mistake,” he locks eyes with me. “then why are you so nervous around me?” i open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out.

“cyrus?” i’m about ready to get on my knees and start thanking god for creating bowie quinn, just for saving me from this conversation. bowie sticks his head inside from the back door. “oh, hey jonah.” he smiles upon seeing me, opening the door fully and walking inside.

“hey,” i say, trying to sound like i’m not absolutely panicking.

“can i grab cyrus for a minute?” he asks, grabbing the cloth cyrus was using to wipe down the counter with earlier and drying his hands with it.

“ya, actually, i was just leaving.” i wave awkwardly at them. “see you guys.”

•••

“he said we could forget about it,” i rant, shoving another baby tater into my mouth.

“jonah-“

“and then he has the audacity to ask me why i’m nervous around him?!” i say through a full mouth.

amber rolls her eyes at me. “jonah-“

“and he said it was a mistake too, like can you believe-“

“JONAH!” amber raises her voice, causing me to stop talking all together. i shut my mouth completely, shrinking into myself and paying her my full attention. “are you sure you’re not saying this because it wasn’t a mistake?”

“are you kidding?” i spit, crossing my arms and leaning back into the booth we’re currently sitting in. “amber, we’ve talked about this.”

“i know but like, you seem upset that he thinks it was a mistake.” she tries to reason with me, but i don’t want to hear it. i can’t think about it.

“well i’m not.” i huff out childishly. “i’m upset that he’s accusing me of being nervous around him.”

“and i get that...” amber tries with a tentative hint in her voice. “jonah, i’m just afraid that you’re not being completely honest with yourself-“

“i’m being honest with myself! i don’t care that cyrus likes boys but i like girls, okay? how many times do i have to say it?!” i almost growl, getting frustrated with not just her, but myself.

“okay, i’m sorry. i just want you to be happy, you know i do.” she says. i look up at her and nod my head begrudgingly. “then be honest and tell me what happened back there wasn’t jealousy.”

“jealousy?!” i snicker, snapping back into an upward position. “jealous of who? tj?” amber nods. “i have nothing to be jealous of, okay? i was just trying to protect him.”

“from tj?” amber tries to clarify, looking the slightest bit amused.

i nod. “he’s a terrible person.”

amber frowns, biting her lip. “okay, so maybe he’s a terrible person,”

“is,” i mumble, jutting my bottom lip out in a pout.

she continues on, ignoring me. “but i used to be a terrible person.” i mean, she’s not wrong.

“that’s different.”

“how is it different?” she asks expectingly, like there’s really a disagreement here.

“because,” i lean back again. “you’re not a sexist bully that only cares about himself.” so maybe i’m being petty, and amber gives me a look that says i’m definitely being petty. i smile smugly at her, satisfied with my answer despite that. not being able to hide a smile, she admits defeat and sighs. “see, you can’t argue with me.”

“i cant argue with you when you’re right. he is an asshole.” she says, standing up. “alright, i’m done dealing with your shit today.”

“you say that like you don’t enjoy it!” i tease her, earning another eye roll.

“hush,” she reprimands me. “i have a shift to work.” she waves before heading into the kitchen of the spoon.

i check my phone, seeing that it’s almost six thirty. i might as well head home.

•••

i open the door to my apartment, closing it behind me. my older brother daniel and i are with our dad this week, meaning a lot of chores and microwave dinners. it’s really not his fault he’s not around as much as he’d like to be, in the divorce agreement he insisted my mom have the house and most of what was inside. he rents this two bedroom apartment in downtown shadyside and works late shifts in order to keep daniel and i here, so picking up the extra housework is really only a small sacrifice on our part.

“jonah? is that you?” daniel calls from our bedroom.  daniel is finishing up his last semester of his first year in community college, but he’s hoping to transfer to a state school as soon as possible, meaning he's living at home until then.

“hey,” i reply coldly, walking inside, still shaken up from my conversation with amber. he’s sitting at our shared desk, his laptop open in front of him. i walk right past, tossing my phone onto my bed and grabbing some sweatpants from my closet. i start for the door again, trying to get into the bathroom as quickly as possible. but daniel stops me, holding a hand up. great.

“woah, where are you going?”

i try and shove his hand out of my way. “the bathroom, stalker.”

“jesus jonah, you don’t have to be a dick.” he says defensively, pulling his hand back to himself. “i just wanted to tell you that dad took an extra shift tonight. i already did the laundry, but i have a paper due tomorrow. will you load the dishwasher please?” he asks, running a hand through his curly brown hair. i’ve always been jealous of it, it’s a trait from mom. i take a better look at him, realizing he looks tired, both physically and mentally. he must’ve worked after his classes today.

“ya, i’ll do it.” i sigh, not looking forward to that. “now let me shower?” daniel just bites his lip nodding towards the door.

“go.”

•••

i walk back into daniel and i’s shared bedroom after loading the dishwasher, hoping he’s too busy to talk to me again. but apparently today is just not my day, because i can’t even get to my closet before he’s opening his mouth.

“you got a text.” he says, not even looking up from his computer.

i pick up my phone from where it’s lying face down on my gray comforter, turning it over to find a text from andi.

“who’s it from?” daniel turns around in the spinny office chair, more interested now.

“andi...” i say absentmindedly, reading over the text.

hey, just wanted to make sure you’re still coming over for dinner tomorrow.

“how are you guys anyway?” daniel asks, probably just for a distraction from his paper. college does not seem fun.

i roll my eyes, typing out a simple confirmation before turning my phone off and looking up at him.

“great.” i drone, walking over to my closet and opening it up.

“what about your other friends? how are they?”

i yank a t-shirt from one of my hangers, pulling it over my damp head. “which ones?” my brother pretty much only sees the side everyone else sees, the jonah with a lot of friends. gotta keep up the image, right?

“cyrus? did i get that right?” he asks, habitually running his hand through his hair again.

i knit my eyebrows together, turning away from him. why does he care? “uh, ya, he’s... he’s fine. why?”

“i was worried for him after he came out, ya know?” he says, and i hear him swivel his chair back around. i take the opportunity to get into bed.

“you were?” i’m surprised to say the least. i didn’t know my brother even thought about any of my friends.

“well, ya. there’s mean kids everywhere, jonah.” he shrugs as i pull my comforter up to my neck.

“ya, there is.”