#i personally see jude as 12 which affects how i personally approach some things

[eddie-redmayne-italian-blog]

We Asked Eddie Redmayne And Katherine Waterston Your “Fantastic Beasts” Questions                

“This movie could be called Fantastic Beasts and...It’s Complicated.”        

 Posted on July 12, 2018    

Ellie Bate 

In 2016, Warner Bros. announced that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – the Harry Potter spinoff set in a 1920s iteration of J.K. Rowling's wizarding world – would become a series consisting of five films. Now we're only six months away from seeing the second, and fans have questions. We know the story will take place over two decades of the early 20th century, culminating in 1945, when Albus Dumbledore famously defeated the dark wizard Grindelwald. We also know that the sequel will see characters visiting London, Paris, and New York, and that we'll see a young Dumbledore played by Jude Law. But we don't know much else.

Last week, we at BuzzFeed had the opportunity to meet with the film's stars, Eddie Redmayne and Katherine Waterston, to get some info about the upcoming sequel. We asked them your nerdiest questions, and their answers were definitely interesting...

Aside from Dumbledore, can we expect to see any old friends from the Harry Potter series in Fantastic Beasts? – madelinerosee2

Katherine Waterston: You can expect that.

Eddie Redmayne: You can. There’s these sort of lines of connecting families and familiar people and names to the worlds of Beasts and Potter.

Which relationships between characters are you most excited to see develop in the upcoming films? – queenoffckingeverything

ER: I mean, our relationship! I’m hoping for an extraordinary J.K. Rowling romance. We know that we end up together, basically.

KW: But how?! How is it going to happen?

ER: Jo sort of tells us bits, but I don’t know. I loved our bit in this film. It’s so complicated. It’s complicated.

KW: Look. It’s complicated.

What can you tell us about Newt and Tina’s relationship in The Crimes of Grindelwald? Has it progressed or developed at all since the end of the first film? – Megan Walsh, Facebook

KW: Progressed? Regressed, maybe.

ER: There was so much hope at the end of the last film, but there’s miscommunication.

KW: Yeah. It’s a long-distance relationship!

ER: It’s desperate because they’re sort of pining for each other, but things have gone awry. Part of this film is about them re-finding each other.

KW: Yeah, but you know, there’s a lot going on, so it’s hard to just have a cup of tea and catch up and sort things out.

ER: We were quite excited at the end of the last film. We thought, Oh my god, we’re going to get to have a lot of fun working together on this film! And then the script arrived and it became clear that it wasn’t going to be that easy. We’re going to have to work for this romance.

KW: But that’s fun. It’s fun to have it be complex and surprising and rich.

What’s one thing that might surprise fans about the new instalment of Fantastic Beasts? – katerinap

ER: It’s so much darker than the last one. I think Jo loves that. In fact, I think she even said that to me on set. She was like, “I just love it when it gets darker.”

KW: It’s more complex. I think it’ll be a really fun journey to revisit and look for clues and things you might have missed the first time. It’s really dense and full of interesting dynamics and relationships and wonderful wizarding lore.

ER: I love that she has such an extraordinary imagination for plot. It’s so tightly wound, this story, that you have to pick apart each element of it. It feels like an extraordinary puzzle.

We know Newt prefers working with animals, but the trailer shows him working with Dumbledore. What motivates him to work with his former teacher? – Ginny Lemarie, Facebook

ER: A part of this story is about Newt’s call to action. One of the lovely things that I adore about Newt is that he’s just completely his own person – he doesn’t get pulled in to become a member of the tribe. People are always trying to recruit him, but he’s his own person. And yet, actually, the stakes get so high in this film that it’s really him questioning whether he can continue doing that or whether at some point you have to engage.

As for Dumbledore, he and Newt have always had this kind of wonderful master/apprentice quality and there’s kind of a joy between them. But Dumbledore’s sly. Dumbledore’s been recruiting Newt a little bit, and he certainly does in this film. I suppose the reason he’s pulled to engage is because the stakes are so high. That Grindelwald dude is causing havoc.

Since you already know what happens at the end of the series thanks to the Harry Potter books, does that inform the way you approach your characters? – Lucy Friedl, Facebook

KW: I would say no, because we – within our series – don’t have any clue where it’s going. You know, Jo will occasionally give us a little hint about something, but unlike the Harry Potter series, we don’t have books to refer to, so it’s a lot more, in a sense, like real life. You know, events happen and we respond to them.

ER: But it’s kind of wonderfully reassuring to know that we’re gonna end up together, right? Hopefully happily married.

 KW: We still have to play it like we have no clue what’s happening, though. And isn’t that fun? That the audience is a step ahead of us? They can watch us fail and misunderstand each other and fail again and struggle to come together, and they can think, “Aw, these suckers. They don’t know it, but we know it. It’s going to work out.”

But maybe she’s going to change her mind! Who knows?! She’s J.K. Rowling! She can do what she wants!

How did it feel to have the fantastic four reunited? Have their relationships changed since the end of the first film? – Wanda Atlas, Facebook

KW: This is the kind of question that’s gonna get me in a lot of trouble.

ER: Do it. Get in trouble.

KW: It was amazing to be reunited. We spent so much time together on the tour and working on the first film, and it’s always so exciting when everybody goes away and people’s kids get bigger and people fall in love, all sorts of things happen. It’s really wonderful to all reunite and get the gossip.

ER: Those first early days when we come back to work, there’s no work happening. It’s just life catch-up and David Yates occasionally going, “OK, there’s work going on here, team. Enough with the banter.”

KW: As for this film… [thinks for a bit] Things have changed. With all the relationships in the group.

ER: You said that really enigmatically, it was brilliant. The idea of the quartet... I think, momentarily, the band has been disbanded.

KW: But the concern and the bond and the intimacy is still there. These people are very important to one another.

How much of a role will the beasts play in the upcoming films? Please tell me Pickett has a hand in the defeat of Grindelwald! – clairk

ER: I don’t want to give away too much, but Pickett definitely indirectly – just because he’s brilliant, and does these brilliant things effortlessly – helps us out. But there are also new creatures. One of the things I enjoy most about these films is getting to work with the puppeteers and the visual effects designers. In those early stages, when we’re prepping in the months beforehand, we’re seeing all these wonderful designs, and you’ve had a sense of what the creatures are when you read the script, but you see the visual effects team – who are like actors themselves – come up with these ideas that are like your ideas on steroids. There’s one creature in this – a very, very big, huge creature – and he sort of plucks me up at some point, and so the reality of filming that is you have a guy called Seven-Feet Pete – he’s really tall, he has massive arms – just having to pick me up all day.

What is the relationship between Newt and Theseus like? Are they close? Does Theseus’s relationship with Leta Lestrange cause issues? – Kerry Endicott, Facebook

KW: It’s interesting that you would ask me that. [laughs] I mean, this movie could be called Fantastic Beasts and...It’s Complicated. You know, all these relationships are really dynamic and rich.

ER: It is really complicated. [Theseus] is an Auror, he’s very establishment, and Newt is kind of the antithesis of that. But what I loved, actually, was the way Jo had written their relationship. It was quite antagonistic to begin with, and it certainly is filled with complexities. I mean, his brother is engaged to this girl who he had a huge affection for growing up, so there’s obviously a real tension there. But one of the things I loved is, actually, Jo said to me seeing what Callum [Turner] was doing and how David was directing – there was a lot of love there – that she progressed the relationship as a consequence of that.

What was the most magical thing that happened on set? – KaralineT

KW: There was this PA who seemed to have the magical ability to deliver a dose of gummy bears to the little holding area for the actors at the moment in the day right when I started to flag. It seemed as if by magic they would appear. I often wouldn’t even see him do it. I would just think to myself, Oh, I’m a little tired, and I would look to my left, and there would be gummy bears. It was pretty magical.

ER: One of the things I find weird about filmmaking is you can be filming wide shots and big things in the morning, and then everyone stops for lunch, and you’re feeling slightly tired afterwards, and you have to go straight into a close-up or an emotional thing. That’s why, basically, I’m a coffee addict. Katherine gave me a lot of grief on the first film about drinking so much coffee.

KW: I’ve never seen one man drink so much coffee in all my days.

Have you ever met any actors from the original series, and did they give you any advice? – UrbannaGirl

KW: You knew Emma [Watson] already, because you’d worked with her, but the rest of us met her the day of the premiere. She came by and she was very sweet when we were all feeling very vulnerable.

ER: I met Ralph Fiennes just before we started filming, and he said what an extraordinary time he’d had, and how brilliant David Yates was. He said there are days when you’re in the back of a scene, and you’re thinking like, oh, I’m not really in this, it’s fine, I can coast, but [David Yates] sees everything. That was…

KW: Scary? [laughs]

What was the hardest thing to get used to when you were filming Fantastic Beasts? Was it something to do with the preparation for your character, or was it something on set? – mcflaherty24

KW: In this film, I wear a navy blue leather trench that I think weighs about 30 pounds. Maybe that’s not a lot of weight for a strong person, but I had to kind of get fit for the coat. It was sort of like trying to move through mud up to your neck. It’s like something’s trying to pull you to the ground all the time.

ER: She had a twitch, which was like, before every single take she would not be comfortable unless she fiddled with her belt.

KW: Yeah, because if I tied the belt really tight, it would kind of lift the weight off my shoulders a little. It was the wandwork. It was sort of like doing wandwork with someone pushing down on your arm, so I got kind of jacked just from the coat. I could start a workout – the Leather Coat Workout. Make a video.

ER: I think for this film, we were kind of prepped, but the most hilarious moment from all the Fantastic Beasts for me was on the last film. Katherine and Ali [Sudol] and Dan [Fogler] and I were all so paranoid about what Apparating was, and so we worked with this movement coach for weeks, the four of us. We would take it incredibly seriously and sort of run and grab each other’s arms and try to Apparate, and we would get so worked up by it.

KW: Nothing would happen – we would just still be there!

ER: We saw the film, and basically the moment you decide to Apparate, they just vis-effects disappear you. All these wasted hours and sleepless nights with Apparating anxiety.

If you could choose a Patronus for each other, what would it be? – janavalcke93

ER: I think that you would be, like, a really elegant foal. Because you’re incredibly elegant and brilliant and occasionally wobbly on your feet. It’s because I know your Patronus is a white horse.

KW: That’s true. And I know your Patronus is some kind of hound.

ER: Aw, a basset hound. Please don’t make me anything else other than a basset hound.

KW: Well, I think it suits how I feel about you in this film. There’s a song – it’s from a very long time ago, and it’s by Elvis. It goes something like, “You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog.” Which I think suits how I feel about Newt in this film a little bit. Just a no-good, dirty dog.

ER: She’s got it all wrong. He’s not a dirty dog.

KW: Do I? Do I have it wrong? Girls – the ones that look really sweet? Watch out.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/eleanorbate/eddie-redmayne-katherine-waterston-interview?utm_term=.xvR2LldGv#.stADbGpNY

My best wishes to all those who asked questions and received the answers from the lovely Eddie and Katherine!!

[whyittsy-blog]

FULL DOCUMENT

 link to the original document which includes screenshots

Document titled:  WHY LEX (AKA CATASTROPHICUR) IS SUCH A CATASTROPHE

Text:

Let me first say that I did NOT want to do this and that although I’ve more than countless reasons to do a call-out post to drag someone (well-deserving of it) through the dirt, I will not because that isn’t who I am. However, I believe after all this time (precisely since Sept 5th) that I deserve to have a voice. There are plenty of you who have only been hearing one side of the story and begin to assume the situation. I’ve known Lex for a year and a half (precisely beginning March 27th, 2016).

They utilize the name catastrophicur, formerly known as moraldysplasia, whom consists of the character (or muse), Jude. I, on the other hand, played on the blog popokki and roleplayed a character named Gale. Now this is an important piece because a lot of problems derived from a media that was only meant to be and is ever meant to be utilized for entertainment. My rule of thumb is, if you aren’t having fun then something is wrong and you ought to fix it. And if it can’t be fixed, then there are ways to discontinue it by blocking/ignoring/etc. But most people are here to write, not everyone is here to make friends or something more than that. After writing with Lex for several months, we could see that there was a spark in our characters and began to ship them. Through the summertime in 2016, they had gone through treacherous occurrences dealing with a demigod, Gale being expelled from high school, Gale’s best friend/potential girlfriend went into a coma, Gale was ill with a plague, Jude and Gale ventured into the mountains to get a cure, only for Gale’s caretaker to wind up dead and his barn to be burned to smithereens by people that were after Jude, Jude disappeared for a time—and that leads me into saying that Lex had also disappeared for a time. They had left for approximately 3 months, between the time of September-December and I had patiently awaited their return without ever a single complaint. I merely understood that Lex is human and tumblr is just a medium for entertainment. So despite us having agreed that Gale and Jude were already a pairing, I did not let it affect me personally. Now, December 2016 rolled around and Gale was building bonds with another muse, Archer. Lo and behold, Lex returned with the intent to drive this new muse (Archer) apart from Gale. I didn’t think of it as a big deal because it added excitement to the roleplay, and this is just a roleplay, right? Wrong.

[screenshots referred to in this document available within the link above. Additionally, this post is rebloggable]

It’s 2017 now, me and Lex were talking frequently. And I mean on a daily basis. Lex often joked boldly, being flirty and I just laughed and played along. I personally did not know whether I was heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, asexual, or pansexual. I’m a 25-year old woman who has never had a serious relationship with anyone because I never felt chemistry to bring me to want to be closer with someone in that way. I’ve always been focused on my career, my family, and friends.  (author note: She;s priming readers to sympathize with her even while the situation you’re about to read impacts her the least. Framing.)There was a time I didn’t even want to date because of my parents’ divorce/situation. But there were also many years where I dated around, had a single date and let the person know I was not interested within the next few days/weeks but I never made someone wait on me longer than a month. So I’m sure you can see where this is going. At the end of summer 2017, Lex is speaking freely to their family about potentially liking me – but every time Lex talks to me about it they said things like: “You might not like me”, “Once you see me, you’ll see I’m a gremlin and you won’t like me anymore”, and on voice call I clearly remember Lex saying to their family “We won’t know if we like each other until after we meet”. Now I wasn’t sure if I liked Lex either, I was curious and I reassured them that I’m not a shallow person. I wouldn’t just wind up not liking them due to appearance or something of that sort. I thought I knew their personality well enough and that would be enough for me. What I didn’t know is what my sexual orientation is and that it’s not that simple as telling myself to love someone. But I truly believed that there was potential, I truly believed that there was a spark, and I truly believed that we could perhaps one day live together. I spoke many times to one of my best friends that I’ve known since I was 12 (who doesn’t RP on tumblr), Grace, and let them know that I was thinking of this. I told them that I would be buying Lex’s ticket and they could come see me for a week so that we can really decipher if this is for us. But moreover, MOST importantly, *I didn’t want this to be all about judgement. I wanted me and Lex to have fun.* I wanted this to be a memory they could cherish and appreciate the idea of moving away from their family someday, to let them know that there’s so much more out there in this world than the one they currently live in. Why? Because every week there was always, always something wrong in their household. Whether it was the fact that Lex continues to struggle to get into college (because their mother won’t do the paperwork), because they struggled to get a job, got a job but it was through their mother and now they’ve to work with a shitty/creepy boss all the time,

( Sidenote: There are many mentions of other people throughout this but I’m going to take a minute to speak about Cami. Cami was another friend of mine that I cherished dearly and spoke with everyday. We’ve wrote since before me and Lex. We had so many great times together, I can’t even begin to count. We loved to watch movies/shows/etc together and the endless calls while I was driving were some of the best. Sadly, spring 2017 things fell apart between us. Cami had gone through a rough patch in life, in which I tried to help support them almost daily through the struggles they were going through even if it was only advice that I could provide. One day, they had said they were going to take more pills after I had said that I wasn’t feeling mentally OK to help them through what they were going through that day… and it was then, that I explained from my POV what was going on and that it was not OK for Cami to do that. It was push/pull from thereon and eventually, Cami had said she did not wish to be friends with me anymore. I said that was OK. A week or so later, Cami apologized and I was forgiving because I wanted to still be friends with them, I wanted to move past this rough patch and to go back to how things once were. But despite their apology, they let me know that it will take THEM time to mend before they can speak to me again. I was confused because… I was the one who was hurt by this. I later figured it was because they didn’t want to hurt me again, but I still found is peculiar that I would have to wait for them to get better before I could speak with them as friends again. People don’t often wait for that, people naturally move on as time goes on. But I waited, I waited three months to hear from Cami again and it wasn’t because she merely wanted to rebuild our bond… but we’ll get into that later. This screencap expresses that I wasn’t on the best terms with Cami but there were PLENTY of times when I would ask Lex, “why hasn’t Cami spoken to me again yet…? I just don’t understand…” because I truly did wish to be friends again. Anyway, moving on--)

Also they’ve a sibling that is potentially dangerous to the entire family from time to time, and the feeling of being STUCK despite being 23 years old. So yes, I took the time/effort/money into buying Lex an airplane ticket.

To tell you the truth the trip was fantastic. I always make it my mission to make it memorable and plan every day out—just as I did with Grace when she came to visit me in 2017 January. I had a lot of fun, I planned that we go see almost EVERY dog park that we could potentially go to because I know Lex’s passion for dogs. We went hiking and to lakes, we traversed/toured through MKE and really just had a great time. But there was undoubtedly that unspoken tension of whether or not we’d like one another. Unfortunately, the kind of chemistry that I was hoping to feel wasn’t there. Now yes, you’re probably thinking—“ love doesn’t happen at first sight”. I agree with that but for me, I needed some kind of pull or some kind of attraction. I didn’t know what it was and I was severely frustrated with myself. To further that notion, *I have severe anxiety (as does Lex). This however, plays into a major factor here that I am not bold and I’m very reserved, I can almost come off as shy to people who meet me in real life. I try very hard to keep so many people in my life and to keep everyone happy (not very realistic of me, I know), I do not want anyone to ever hurt especially because of me or because of simple/stupid mistakes, thus I’m careful about how I approach subjects/matters/situations. This apparently was unsettling for Lex**

once they returned on Sept 5th from visiting me. Lex returned Sept 5th and from there on, kept saying ‘something is off’.

I didn’t initially know what they meant because I figured that if we carried on, maybe JUST maybe we could continue to be friends without anything changing. It was a false hope. By the time they kept pressuring and stating day after day, something is off:

(This is potentially when Lex was already trying to get information out of me but I was just giving them solid advice/information that if they thought they could move TOMORROW, that wasn’t realistic. I had a couple relatives pass away that were close to me, I got a dog that caused us to have to move, and I am still living with my mother/supporting her. So it’s not exactly easy and so I got real with them about that in this snippet.)

(Ana was their ex-gf.)

I began to fret over the fact I didn’t feel any chemistry with them and I knew that was the reason that something was off. However, I wanted to have feelings for them but I knew I couldn’t control that, the idea of telling them that I didn’t scared me because I was afraid of losing them as a friend altogether. I was not only afraid of losing them but hurting them at all. I told myself, it was too soon to let them know what was ‘off’ when it had only been a day or two days from their visit (notice the dates in the previous screenshots). I knew if I had they would wonder to themselves ‘what did I do wrong?’, ‘was it my looks?’, ‘could I have done something different?’

Unfortunately, I admit that I let it drag on longer than I originally intended as it happened to be a week and a half from their visit. Which again, I do not believe is horrendous but it was through a bad method where I had posted a meme about myself on tumblr. A meme that expressed that I was ‘single4life, and that I didn’t like anyone romantically atm’. Now mind you, this was ONLY after Lex was beginning to say things that rubbed me the wrong way. There was mentions of Jude not liking that Gavriel (another muse of mine) was having interest in another muse, Shion played by Lettie. Mind you, Jude’s plotline did not at all align with Gavriel or Shion: (It starts out small but this begins to be a big problem in the future, where Lex starts to try to get in between Gavriel and Shion simply because they felt jealousy and were afraid of losing me.)

(But then I also noticed that Lex was implementing Jude into RPs with not only Shion in an almost aggressive approach, but Sy’s muse Myles. They claim to this day that Myles was not ill-intended but if Shion’s was ill-intended, then I still don’t know how to feel about Myles.) Below you get to see something else that rubbed me the wrong way:

Now I need to say what was going on in my daily life before I dive into the nitty gritty of the fall out of our friendship. Sept 5th was when Lex came to visit, I had 2 week off from work because I just got a new job at the American Red Cross and was going to start on Sept 11th. On the first week they had me drive 2 hours away from home and stay in a hotel with awful internet service, I lost my credit card so I had to figure out how to pay for gas/meals/etc by constantly driving out to a bank to withdraw money, I was homesick, I originally thought it was only for 2 days but they had me out there for 4 and no one actually knew what my true schedule was. Natheless, getting a career I could appreciate was a big milestone for me and as an introvert, I need alone time to recuperate/recharge my social battery but here ever since Lex got home I was spoke to them Sept 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, AND 10th. Not only was I starting my job but my childhood friend Tess, from IRL, was having her bridal shower Sept 16th. I didn’t have much money due to the gap in jobs and I wanted it to be the best for her. Tess also had her bachelorette party two weeks after that, on Sept 30th. And then her wedding weekend on October 15th. This is all important because these are weekends where I’m incredibly busy attending/focusing on people immediately in the same state as me and trying to cope with daily-life struggles. Now of course, I know Lex had IRL struggles, too, but I KNEW THIS and didn’t push them one way or another. I merely supported them as a friend.

It was when I sent them a snapshot on Sept 14th of my dogs reuniting after I had been on a work trip. I said specifically in the snap “Marley missed Gideon more than me!!” and Lex felt it was necessary to say “Don’t worry Marley, me too me too”. It was an obvious jab at me. It could have been joking, except that I expressed that it kind of hurt and even after I did that, they didn’t even care to apologize. Feeling somewhat upset over it, I regretted my latter action of posting a mun meme. Now when I posted this, I told myself that “we did not establish anything” and we didn’t. Couples verbalize when they are dating OR they make out OR they have sex multitudes of times… there has to be something to let both partners know that they are in a relationship. You can’t just assume that you’re in a relationship with someone ESPECIALLY when it was both clear before the trip that we weren’t sure if there would be any chemistry between us. Of course, I still do not agree with the fact I put it in a meme:

Now mind you, I had apologized for my actions and this does NOT measure up to the amount of things Lex does following this to intentionally hurt me. The truth of me not liking Lex unravels when they find out through the meme that I said I was single and not romantically interested in anyone on Sept 14th.

This is the entirety of the conversation:

(This screen capture shows the end of the night, leading into Sept. 17th.)

As you see here, I admitted my wrongdoings already. I admitted that I didn’t like Lex romantically but I wanted to continue being friends IF they still wanted that, too. They said that they did wish to be and so we went from there. It’d been awhile since we did anything fun together and I was hoping that we could smooth things over by doing some of the stuff we did before as friends; watching animes/shows, plotting, etc. So on Sept 17th this happened:

I want to make emphasis on the fact that here I mentioned I am not direct or bold. I would never hide from people or hide things from them. But I also WON’T TELL PEOPLE THINGS THAT DON’T INVOLVE THEM. It’s not everyone’s business to know what is going on in my life. I am not OBLIGATED to tell anyone ANYTHING unless if they are family, OR if I happened to be in a romantic relationship with them. On Sept 14th I had clearly put a meme out that I was single and not interested in anyone, Sept 17th I had clearly voiced my thoughts/feelings about Lex and from thereon, I don’t need to tell them what my sexual orientation is, or if I might try a dating app. I don’t need to tell them that I’m going to a wedding for my friend or that my sister had a baby, I don’t need to tell them anything that I don’t feel like telling. So don’t make this out like I cheated on you. Back to the timeline.

It’s clear that it was much too soon for me to be enthusiastic and hope that we could still be friends. I really did encourage that we did something together. When I was invited to a cah game, I got excited but it was all BNHA fandom… and I was really out of the loop. It was with a bunch of Lex’s fandom friends and I was awkwardly trying to get through the puns/jokes that I didn’t get just to hang out with Lex.

At this point in time, Lex went on to make a new muse – Stain. Now I knew this was to get some fresh air from Jude’s blog and I could appreciate that. Nor did I ask for them to tell me about it and I wouldn’t have minded if I had never known about it. Even to this day, I haven’t had a single interaction with their muse Stain or their other muse that’s a doctor (or something).

I do want to point out that after a certain time, Lex almost felt BLIND to my problems and only voiced their own. I gratefully took them on, trying to give advice and trying to be supportive with everything they encountered.

Around this time, Lex decidedly makes a group chat between me, Lettie, and themselves. This group chat was solely for the purpose of trying to get Jude in between Gavriel and Shion. Lex has openly admitted that in the future after I noticed something was fishy and I had genuinely stated that we should have split verses for Shion. This created an uproar from Lex. Now mind you, I had every reason to do this because . Read the following content at your own discretion and know that none of it is edited. I’m to tired for any of this and to be downright honest, this makes me think I’m in high school all over again (except it’s worse). I’ll say snippets on each portion but otherwise take what you seI also received snippets of Lex going behind my back, speaking with other people I wrote with or knew. Muhu, Lettie, Cami, and Sy. Now I hardly know Sy but the other three I knew well enough to feel uncomfortablee in for yourself. I have said to Lex before, no one is at fault. I truly believed that until their continued ill-intent was impossible to get passed and after we had our fall out where I originally blocked them for a day and they posted a call-out post of me – they then later apologized for it and said they wanted to talk it through? Well great, I unblocked them and talked it through. Even despite the crumby feeling of them going behind my back, talking shit about me to other people – going as far as to say that they were trying to figure out a way to be mean to me, as if devising plots to hurt me. I don’t understand or see how they’re getting away with just sitting over there playing pityparty all day long. Only I can see it because I’ve been quiet, silent and keeping it BETWEEN me and Lex. I only spoke to people I knew wouldn’t go blabbing to Lex or anyone else about it. I spoke with people I knew weren’t even on tumblr to vent, because I do believe in venting. But I didn’t mislead people or try to get them into the middle of it. And continue to do to this day. As it’s proven by both Cami and Muhu, who have gone behind my back to share information about my life to Lex. This should NOT involve other people but I see that continuing to twiddle my thumbs behind a gd screen and hoping people will be logical is not doing me any good. Here is when Lex admitted they were having inferiority complexes and this was the night before the bachelorette party (9/22):

Here is when I noticed that Lex was trying to get in between my muse and Lettie’s. And if not between our muses, he was going to play on the idea of Jude getting with Shion and/or Myles in replacement of Gale, as if I should be bothered by it. AKA they were looking for a reaction (10/05):

It was also (10/05) later that same day that Lex felt they needed to say something. This was them expressing that they felt things weren’t getting any better and by now, I’m hearing things from third parties of what Lex is doing behind my back. Things that are harsh and volatile. Things that are MEANT to hurt me. But despite my greater efforts to be friends with Lex and hoping they will heal from knowing I don’t like them that way (a month ago), they come to me saying this:

(I want to note that Lex is clearly expressing they are frustrated that I’m not giving them enough attention/speaking with them daily? Even though I shouldn’t have to feel obligated to do that. Nor should a friend feel as though I have to speak with them daily just to be friends. I knew that they were still hurting from hearing that I didn’t like them, so I did want to give them the space that THEY asked for but I got to hear more that… ultimately made my next decision.) However, on 10/08, I saw evidence through screenshare that Lex was speaking behind my back to people that I wrote with on tumblr rather closely and it wasn’t just one person but multiple people. It was then that I decided that I needed to step away from it all a few days later. That something wasn’t right and things weren’t improving despite it being a whole month since we last saw each other. So I made a decision that I believed would be most healthy for both of us and would be the most adult like decision. Instead of calling them out or going and venting to people that I know are close to Lex/would have them have second thoughts about Lex, I spoke with them directly (excuse the highlights, I had to use the ‘search’ key to find it on discord):

So here’s the call out post they made about me after I blocked them (10/10):

And then when they admitted that they were wrong:

*And then more proof that they weren’t really just obsessed with me but obsessed with my character more than ever, that I just felt like I didn’t matter:*

It was then that Cami who I haven’t spoke to in MONTHS came into my messenger and demanded answers from me. I again, don’t owe anyone anything. We, too, have had hardships and I have been hoping for many months that Cami would come speak with me. So that we could smooth things out, so we could rebuild our friendship and make it something stable again. So why, why do you believe that you had the right to come to me and demand that I speak with you about Lex? It was clear to me you were only concerned about Lex and that anything I said to you, would travel to Lex. More third-party crap and I didn’t want to be like that, I didn’t want to be like Lex where I was telling the whole fucking world about our problems. I wanted US to fix it. I want US to be friends again.

 No thanks to Cami butting in, but I originally felt bad. I am human and I wanted to give them another chance to be FRIENDS with me. Now mind you, my trust has been violated and broken by them countless times at this point. Just because I let them back into my life again did not mean I was friends with them once more. We had to work on rebuilding that trust still, we had to mend our broken bridges, and that takes time. But that also means there’s no way in the world that I’m going to tell you about my daily life, my social life, my work life, my family, and other friends, etc. I’m probably just going to try to have fun with you in the present by playing games, watching movies, plotting/writing, and not sharing my personal life with you anymore. Why? Because we aren’t dating, we were hardly friends, and we were basically acquaintances—or worse, ex friends trying to be friends again. So what in your right mind makes you think I’m going to tell you about the fact that I’ve made new friends IRL? And that one of those people I’ve developed a crush on, and he’s got NOTHING to do with you. (anon note: withholding this information isn’t bad. Whitholding information that allows people to make informed decisions and then reacting to their uninformed decisions as if they should have known information deliberately witheld is what creates problems)

Now before I dive into that subject, I have to mention the one that happened RIGHT before another drama shitstorm happens. This one involves me having a hard time pulling my muse together and writing on Gale or Gavriel in tumblr (within good reason after the many months of bologna). I have been working on another muse for a time that’s away from all the drama, away from people that unfortunately tire me tf out. That’s not abnormal. That’s why Lex made Stain or their other muse doctor, person. Which they had to smudge in my face that Cami was making themes for them, which they did say that it was only because they weren’t talking to me but rather sleeping while Cami made them a theme. Doesn’t matter, it makes me cringe because they said things like this about Cami:

 And I can’t be entirely faultless either as I’ve played into it some but within reason of my relationship with Cami being so shaky. Me wanting to talk to them but instead they would only be talking to Lex. And I would just hear on occasion that Cami wanted to come speak with me but still hadn’t. It was frustrating and I was sad at the time whenever I heard it. Moving on, I asked Cami after we DID start talking again if they wanted to make me a theme for my new muse. I did approach it as a business, not as friends since I knew we still had to build bridges. Thus, I had offered a good sum of money. They still declined and added that they only make themes for friends, not for money. So I was basically shut down, which was fine, I brushed it off. Until they went behind my back to tell Lex. Again, not something that Lex needed to know—not something I was obligated to tell them when we were still working on our friendship to begin with. And it’s not like I told Tess my childhood friend that I was making a new blog, I didn’t tell ALL my other friends on tumblr that I was making a new blog either, just the people I was getting along with for some space and hopefully you can understand that at this point why (11/12):

So in this, we find out that Cami was the one that leaked information to Lex about my new blog and that set Lex going off on me when I told them I wanted to take a break from Gale & Gavriel. And I finally decided after all this craziness, that we’re in our mid twenties and we’re fighting like children. We’re all TIRED but I’m more tired of the fact everyone has only seen the story through one lenses. I went to Cami afterward to tell them not to share my conversations with other people that do not need to be involved (11/12):

Anyway enough of that evidence. I found out that I really do like a guy (this sounds sudden doesn’t it? it sounds like it shouldn’t be related to this entire problem, should it? well…). That’s right. On PRECISELY Sept 28th, I decided to try my bumble app again. I opened it up and while I was passing through a city, a particular guy piqued my interest. Now, when you first meet someone you aren’t automatically dating. We didn’t establish anything EVEN TO THIS DAY but after last weekend, I’m sure that we’re at least both romantically interested in each other. And I can FINALLY say after the month of October (not even September), that I know I’m heterosexual. Weekend after weekend after going to Tess’s wedding on Oct 14th, I was hanging out with this guy and his friends. I didn’t know if we were friends or something more until last weekend (Nov 11th). That’s TWO WHOLE MONTHS from when I let Lex know that I was not interested in them romantically.

So I don’t know why Muhu felt it was necessary to expel this to Lex (11/13):

Or why they felt they could write a novel on me when they only know half (if it’s even half the truth) of the story (11/13):

Oh BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE. So on top of Muhu feeling it was within their hands/morals to tell Lex something that really didn’t matter after we already spoke and blocked another. I get ANOTHER message from Cami demanding for information. Well fine. Here. Have it. I’m done trying to keep my mouth closed and protect peoples’ feelings.

(And you know what Cami? All that I can remember or think about is that you sound JUST like Forza.)

SO NOW that everyone has gotten their share of thought/side of the story/pov across. I know who my real friends are. I know who I can trust. Unfortunately, I can’t trust you. So goodbye.