#i paid 25 dollars for a pastrami sandwich

[dngrcpckwithmurdericing]

i'm tired and i have brain fog really bad today but i want to talk about this.

i learned yesterday that at age 40, your eyes start to change. apparently this is scientific. so when i was 40, and complained to my eye doctor about a bunch of stuff, he should have taken it more seriously.

i went to a new eye doctor yesterday and she explained some things to me. i want to share them in case someone else has the same stuff happening.

my eyes are really different. they both have astigmatism, but at different levels. one is extremely far sighted, and the other is extremely nearsighted. apparently, most of the time when eyes are like this, the brain SHUTS OFF ONE EYE, so even if i'm wearing glasses, when i look far away, my near sighted eye would just shut off inside my brain and not interfere with the signals.

MY BRAIN DOESN'T DO THAT.

my eyes are desperately trying to work together to see, even though they should not be, because they are so different nothing will ever bring them together. this is why they FEEL wobbly, even though they aren't actually moving physically - they are moving IN MY BRAIN, and that translates into my eyes feeling like they are crossing.

additionally, their attempts to work together make my migraines worse, and cause double vision.

the eye doctor recommended that if i am doing close-up work, or finding it really difficult to see signs when i'm driving, i should put a patch over the eye that isn't supposed to be working. it will change my depth perception, but help my brain figure out what my eyes are supposed to be doing.

the previous doctor told me NOT to do that because i would weaken my eyes, but this new doctor said this is BS - i'm 42, not 4. my eyes are already where they are going to be.

this is why i started studying pharmacology, you guys: because every psychiatrist and doctor gave me different opinions on medication and i needed to understand and be able to make informed decisions about my own pharmacological care. I CANNOT BECOME AN OPTOMETRIST.

i've decided to believe yesterday's doctor, because closing one eye makes both eyes feel relieved.

ADDITIONALLY, fyi, if a doctor ever says that they are going to deliberately overcorrect in one eye to help your eyes see together, GET A SECOND OPINION. i have been uncomfortable in my glasses for two years, and it's because the doctor overcorrected my far sightedness instead of just prescribing reading glasses and distance glasses. so i have had a hard time seeing everything, instead of the minor inconvenience of switching when i sit down at my desk to work on my computer.

i am SO tired, but in two weeks i'll have new glasses. one of them has purple frames. neither are cat eye shaped, which is a huge bummer, but i was told extremely firmly that when your lenses are SO different or your prescription is SO strong, getting glasses off the internet isn't a great idea because you can't have your prescription adjusted for free if it isn't quite right. additionally, the place i went to yesterday told me that once i have my glasses, i should stop in regularly to have THE GLASSES THEMSELVES ADJUSTED - the frames. so that i am always looking out of the center of the lenses, instead of my glasses getting slowly misshapen over time and causing me to look out of the wrong part of the lens. (this is why pupillary distance IS SO IMPORTANT. if you're not looking out of the right part of your glasses lenses, YOU AREN'T SEEING CORRECTLY.)

i hope everyone with bad eyes has a good day today. <3