#i pack doorgifts

[sainterlude]

...guys...im so tired...why did i agree to be someone's bridesmaid... i thought im just here for funsies turns out im a literal maid...HALP

[namjoonchronicles]

Preloved - [BTS] Husband!Yoongi Au

[A/N] Sometimes you gotta work for a happy ending. Your happy ending.

Verily, the stars had aligned, and they say, you’re mine. 

Yoongi started his noon with a sharp intake of air, a sheet of blanket on top of him and a neck pillow he didn’t remember falling asleep with. The music was turned off and lights were dimmed. His pile of empty cans of energy drinks laying by the door is no longer there and his plastic bowls of instant noodles were also missing.

He clenches his eyes tight for 5 seconds as the consciousness seep flutters through his entire being, hugging the blanket in his arm. Peeling through his lashes, he saw his lyric pad to be scribbled with some words and heart shapes that he didn’t remember writing. Of course he didn’t remember.

It wasn’t him who wrote it.

Just underneath an unfinished rap verse, written in a slanted neat and curved handwriting was the sentence, “...my blood ignite when I see you, it’s hungry and I want more.” Heart emojis. Heart emojis. Heart emojis. Yoongi darted his eyes to the side and a smile crept up his lips like a slow burn. Now that he is fully awake, he remembered those airy kisses on his left side brain, and those subtle touches on his shoulder and neck. And like you knew he was awake, he received a message.

Her 🦋 : There’s food in the fridge and rice in the rice cooker. Just heat them up okay? Okay. Her 🦋 : I won’t be home early. So make sure you eat. Or else. 🦖

Yoongi pursed his lips and typed an immediate reply.

Him 🐠 : 💗

More coffee intake. Yoongi took a shower, made the bed that you slept in alone, did the laundry and then another message came from you. Since Jimin’s wedding is closing in, you got super busy. You were in-charge of doorgifts and Yoongi is going to be the best man. There were endless lines of boxes full of those doorgift items taking over your living room and halls right now so Yoongi has to move all of that to his studio for awhile. He bit his lips and blinked at the impossible sight thinking about how he could carry everything at once. Realising that he might break a few things if he were to be impatient, he settled for the slower pace after weighing over the pros and cons. Yoongi carried two boxes on top of each other and placed them in his studios. Three trips, and he had moved them all successfully.

Fumbling with the cord, Yoongi took out the plug to the television to replace it with the vacuums’. Turning it on, the vacuum hurled semi-silently as Yoongi ran the nozzles over to the fuzzy carpets and the rest of the living room where the boxes once resided. Small particles rattle through the nozzle then the tubes as Yoongi took his able arm to lift the sofa with one hand. The cords accidentally tangle themselves around the standing lamp and it tilted but luckily, Yoongi caught it on time.

Maybe cordless vacuum would be good to use. Now how much was that again? The last time he wanted to buy a cordless vacuum, you said to him that the old one could still be used. “Why waste money on things that still can be used?” You darted. “It's heavy. You can’t carry it around and the cord almost made you trip over...” he lay out his arguments and you chuckled, “...just kick the cords away. There’s absolutely no need for us to purchase things now... we might need that money for something else.” Yoongi gave you acid eyes but you don’t really give it attention.

And now with that same acid eyes, Yoongi is muttering to himself while vacuuming, “...What are we saving money for.” Then he lifts the vacuum to have the dirt compartment emptied and cleaned. At the same time, the washing machine beeped that its currently soaking and usually, you put fabric softeners during these time. So Yoongi took out the dirt compartment, left it in the sink of the bathroom, and placed the vacuum neatly by the basket of the laundry room. He attended the washing machine first. But when he looked into the non-consumables closet, the fabric softener bottle is empty. He stabbed the ‘pause’ button on the washing machine so it won’t spin before the softeners are here. Shoving the empty fabric softener bottle into the recycle bin, Yoongi placed his black face mask, his black baseball cap, and zipped his black hoodies over black jeans and shoes for a quick trip down the convenient store nearby the apartment you both lived in. His blonde-do peeking through some areas and as he carries the basket, he began picking up some bananas, and air freshener sprays.

“It’s been awhile since we did our shopping...” he silently thought as his eyes scanned through the exact fabric softener brand you used. He recognized smells so, he uncapped a few to see if you could try a new scent if you ever get bored of the current one you’re using. “Mystique smells nice too...” he thought to himself and recapped the bottle. He took the usual one and grabbed two packs of biscuit for the guests that are expected to come tonight.

“That will be ₩67,000.” The cashier brightly says. Yoongi tapped his phone for the payment, relishing the fact that he lives in a cashless modern city. It’s easy now. He remembers those days that he needed to be careful about his spendings because he doesn’t much. Now that he could safely say he’s successful, he can spend without worries. Which reminded him, did the bank transferred funds to you like they should every beginning of a month?

He carried the bag of things in one arm and wanted to call you, but his battery was running low on percentage, so he waited until he got into the house to call. He poured a capful of fabric softener into the machine and let it soaked. Then he washed the dirt compartment in the sink and then placed them back into the vacuum.

You leaned your head back against the wall, sitting on the floor with your eyes shut. “I want to lie down...” you breathed, talking to yourself. Jimin sent a row of voice note for you to listen to. The first one, he was asking about food tasting. And then he asked about Yoongi’s suit. The third and fourth voice note is about the itinerary of the wedding. He wanted to play the piano while his future wife walks in and you replied, “Then who is going to stand at the altar??? Yoongi?”

Rolling eyes emoticon. Rolling eyes emoticon. Rolling eyes emoticon.

The fifth voice notes have Jimin laughing by a street because you heard cars and honks. “You’re right. So I guess hyung has to be on the piano and to be the best man as well... I just want to thank you for helping me with the doorgifts. I’m on my way to get the invitation cards on foot since the traffic is so bad... I had to take half of the day off today.”

You snorted at his voice message. “Marriage is a lot of work Jimin.” Your eyes caught the glimmering tiny black diamond on your ring finger given by Yoongi on your wedding day five years ago. “I’m still surprised that he’s still around.” You whispered to it, eyes brooding to it. “He had bewitched me.” You added and leaned your head back against the wall. You were very tired. Yes.

But you were too tired that you can’t fall asleep because your body is in fight mode. It’s when your brain says they need to keep working so your body is doing all they can to stay awake, preventing you to rest or sleep even when it should. The workplace is hectic today, you could barely think. So when you were resting right now, some memories rushing in. Not because you want to, but because it was the most pleasant state of mind you have ever been in, that situation. Preparing for Jimin’s wedding made you think about yours. And what led to that.

When you decided to give Yoongi a chance.

See, Yoongi was not a definite call. The breeze blew softly, the fallen leaves dances in the wind while the pavements washed away broken twigs, that September, when everything ended.  Suppose to end.

Yoongi avoided eye contact. He stuck his gaze on your knees, while you handled the warm mug of coffee with both hands, giving nothing away with your hard and stern expression. You were dressed in a navy blue polka dot knee-length dress, your hair free to fall graciously, looking far too lovely for this conversation to take place. "I don't understand--" he began only for you to dart,

"--you just don't want to. We know this was coming." You took another sip as if nothing happened. Averting your eyes to the side when you heard Yoongi pushed himself back into the chair, scoffing with disgust. "No, you knew this was coming. It's so easy for you. It's always so easy for you," he shook his head in disappointment and an unforgiving sneer. Yoongi's heart is being played and he did not take it lightly. You made a pact with yourself that you will finish this last mug of coffee Yoongi made for you, and then you'll leave him and his heart behind. You've done all you can, all you need, and he seems better now than he ever was. It was time for you to go. "There are too many emotions at play. You know we're both are unhealthy in our ways of handling things. We're young, and you're set out for life. You're okay now. I cannot stay here," You told him.

Bullshit. "Bullshit." He shot. "Let's part ways. We'll stay friends." You gently say. That's all we were good at.

He took a huge blow. His sonatas began to sound darker, and grueling feel, the kind that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. "How can you have everything and then end up with nothing?" He stood in front of the full length mirror, not very drunk but not very sober before smashing the mirror with his bare fist. He stopped playing piano for awhile. Awhile became months, then years, then he let his piano piled up in dust in the corner of his living room where everything once was. He couldn't be near it, fearing that he might be consumed with the absence of you know you would always be around whenever he played a tune there. "She gave me everything I never knew I needed, and left behind not even a shadow or a sign that she was here," Yoongi spoke to one of his close friends, staring into the abyss, "...nothing to hold on to, nothing to touch and be reminded of. But she gave me one thing, she gave me memories, and they're imprinted in this brain of mine, make a living out of me."

Calls that went unanswered, the conversation that never happened. Yoongi in front of your door far too many times during the relationship. "What do you want? It's late." You darted when you open the door just enough to poke your head through. "Who are you having over? I see your lights on, is there something I need to know?" Yoongi's soft-spoken voice almost rattled your ground. When he glanced at you, he saw your clothes on the floor, folded neatly next to a luggage. "Why don't you answer my calls? Where are you going?" Yoongi was searching, searching for your face, that expression he needs to see. You're closing up, hardening, and he doesn't know why. "I'll tell you tomorrow, when it's daylight." You lied and Yoongi snapped his head to the side, smiling bitterly. "...I want to talk." He shot, like he was showing his wild card in a game of poker, and he wants control of the situation. "I want you to let go of me," you darted your weak gaze to him, the sparkles in your eyes, they dimmed, your eyes were so clear that Yoongi saw a reflection himself in those orbs. It almost killed him. Why are those eyes so inviting when your words are acid?

"...I'm sorry." He doesn't know what he was apologizing for, but he thought that it would make the situation better so he said it. "I'm so sorry." "Stop apologizing, it's not your fault. What are you apologizing for," you were ready to shut the door, but Yoongi held them open with a tinge of desperation laced in his voice, "Don't do this." "No, you don't do this." You plead, "Remember I told you about the things I don't say? Remember all the scars I never show? This is it. I will only bring you down, Yoongi. You deserve better."

I'll love your scars. I'll love all of your scars.

Door shut. Locked. Sometimes you have to let go,

The eviction notice fell from the table as you pushed your back to the door where Yoongi was banging on, calling your name repeatedly, ringing your doorbell. Your mother called a few days ago, and you remember the conversation as if it was yesterday. "They've taken the car, and the fridge. I don't know what to do," your mother sobbed through the phone. "It's okay, I'm selling the car, we will have money and keep our things mom, it's alright. My second job will transfer the pay no later than 27th, we can keep our things," You assured her, and she sniffed,

"...It's not enough. The bank came and they say the exact numbers, they're not enough."

It's like the sky had fallen on you. Along with its thunderstorm and chaotic wind. It was drought and downpour at the same time. It felt like the end. So it caused you to call someone you never thought of calling.

"Do you still want me?" "Of course." He said.

He had the money. He saved everything. No more eviction notice, your mother got the car back. Your brother can finish his law school. It's like floating up the surface of the water and finally breathing. He saved everything but you. He was abusive. So you needed to work and save money elsewhere before you run off again, "...he'll never find me."

You worked in a small bookshop. That bookshop has a small coffee shop next to it, and it has only been 7 months since you said goodbye to Yoongi. Sometimes you sing in wedding ceremonies with Jimin. Jimin is a talented pianist that you mutually befriended during you were with Jimin. He is trustworthy. Sometimes you both took a coffee break together, and have dinner to talk. Jimin doesn't speak of you to Yoongi and it looks like Yoongi understood it. "...He saw me once, when I was with that devil." You reminisce, your gaze is far from the distant and Jimin blinked towards the table you both shared. "I remembered his face, and it hurts," your eyes were dry just like your words. It was as if someone else is speaking in your place. Jimin was a little surprised. He didn't know this story. He didn't know that Yoongi found you.

After the painful break-up, Yoongi frequented a music shop right opposed to the bookshop you worked in. Fate plays its card and he ordered a coffee from your co-worker and saw you dragging a huge black plastic bag full of trash at the back just before the door closes. He thought he was imagining things. So he walked out of the coffee shop with a careful but determined swing of steps, pushing the glass door and made his way to the back where he thinks you were and dragging the plastic bag to the large bin, was the love of his life who broke his heart. His eyes caught you and so did you, there was no escape. But you'll make strangers out of everybody, so you averted your eyes away as if you had not seen anybody and he called your name. Realising that you cannot leave without saying anything, you rolled your sleeves down past your wrist and covered your neck with your hand, smiling back at his stern expression. "...hello, Yoongi." Yoongi closed the distance first, while you staggered in your stance.

"It's not really my break time, so I have to go," you added a dry chuckle next to the smile he missed so dearly. "I'll wait until you get off." He said as you walked back to the back door.

And he kept his promise. After everyone left, he waited in the cold for you. "I can't really be home this late," You said. Yoongi shoved both hands into his hoody and asked, "Are you happy?" You glanced at him. He had his white baseball cap, and a camouflage hoodie covering on top of it. "What's that suppose to mean?" You chuckled and you quickened your steps as if you sensed a danger coming and as you try to double the distance between you and Yoongi, you heard a stern call of your name. But before you could even answer to it, Yoongi's fist flew to the man's jaw, knocking him down to the floor instantly. Then he threw spit on the man's face, while you try to gather him away with all your might. Calling his name numerous time for him to stop, but it's like he was possessed to hear all your cries. "Yoongi, please!" You yelled, eyes glassy with threatening tears and Yoongi replied with a low growl, yanking his hand away from your grasp, "...How much do you need. How much do you fucking need to be dating this piece of shit!" He pointed at the man who is whimpering on the floor next to an empty street. There's barely people around this town.

He grabbed your hand and shoved the sleeves up your elbow where all the bruises and marks were. "Look at this, your arms, your neck," Yoongi spun around with both hand in the back of his head, and made his way back to the guy he just punched, "You fucker, how dare you to touch her." Stomp his rib, "I'm going to break your bones tonight, and you!" Yoongi snapped his head at you, "...Why are you so cheap? How much do you need? Are you that desperate for money?"

You clenched your lips, and stared into his mischievous eyes, delivering a slap across his beautiful face. Yoongi froze. It's like time stood still. You looked at him, and he could never forget that face, even if he died and lived again. He died and lived again. Gritting your teeth, you grumbled in agony, "...That's enough." 

Sometimes you have to let go. 

You grabbed your purse and sped away into a taxi, leaving those two shits behind. Having nowhere to go, since you leave with the devil himself, you found yourself at Jimin's doorstep. "I just need a place to stay overnight, if that's okay..." You smiled and Jimin never asked why. Sometimes he doesn't get an answer, and that's okay. Jimin got sick just before another wedding, and you needed the money that comes with the performance. Running out of options because it was too late of a notice, Jimin suggested one name. "He's the only one who could play the piano that we know of who knows out scores, and he had practiced with you before. He knows the songs that you will sing, there's no one but him. I'll ask him for you. He'll never say no," You recalled Jimin say.

And Jimin also remembered what you said. You said no.

But Yoongi came to that wedding in suits, sat on that white baby grand piano and played while you sing, just like old times. You sat next to him like how you used to, singing Florence & The Machine's 'Never Let Me Go'.

In the particular line;

"And all this devotion I never knew at all, And the crashes are heaven for a sinner released, And the arms of the ocean delivered me..."

You looked at him with wide eyes, holding the microphone close to your lips as you watched him play the piano with so many emotions, his eyes were closed as he allows the sound fill his soul. When it ended, the applause came and when the audience left, you only have him. The spotlight still shining on you both when everything else was dark. You put your microphone down to your lap turning sideways where he is, playing random rhythms, and you spoke in a small voice, "I've always wondered what you were thinking of when you close your eyes when you play the piano during that particular line I sang." Yoongi remained expressionless, but he took his fingers off the keys and cleared his throat, straightening up in his seat. "Is it the lyrics, or is it my voice," you trailed but noticing that he has been silent, you scramble to rephrase the words, to fix everything that you're not sure you broke, saying nonsense to make the conversation lighter and Yoongi said in an emotionless tone,

"Both." Yoongi inhales and began to provide explanation you didn't ask for, "...Sometimes, you speak better in the way you sing or the way you write, than you ever talk to me."

"I asked you not to leave me, where you're going, why you're leaving. I told you I can't lose you, how much I need you. Do you even love me? I know this is not the right time, here on this stage that I used to share with you," He chuckled dryly as he stripped himself bare, before you. "You were struggling, I was too. I learn to let go something I can't hold on to, Yoongi, you have to understand you have so many things to look forward to and I don't have to be there next to you for you to succeed because this is all you--"

Sometimes you have to let go, to see if they’ll come back.

"--says who." He darted his eyes at you, then downward. It rendered you silent.

"Marry me," he shot, "Marry me, right now."

Knocking on the door. "Someone is asking for you," you co-worker called, peeking her head through the door, and you put on your white coat, instantly. Sparkling eyes, with a box of fried chicken, your little brother came to say congratulations on the promotion. "Brought you chicken because I know you hate chocolate. I also have a box of potato wedges in case you don't feel like eating chicken," He arched an eyebrow at you, "Send my regards to the brother in law and mom says hi. Also the firm is celebrating its two months opening, hope you guys could come. It's after Jimin hyung's wedding, don't worry." Thanks to Yoongi, you finished your degree and your brother finished him around the same time. "Maybe you guys could stage another performance like old times?"

It sounded like a good idea, but first, Jimin's wedding.

When you reached home, the door beeped open before you could flash the card. Yoongi was already pouting his lips for a kiss, "How was the traffic?" He held the door open for you and you walked in with a groan, "It's Seoul, what do you think it's like?" He took your bag from the door and your coat. "Did Jimin text you what time he was coming?" Yoongi asked, remembering the reason why he was cleaning up the house. Since Jimin and his future wife is sending off another box of vase for the doorgift, he had to clean the house up because for sure, you'll invite them in for tea. But you didn't have time to organize the house, so he had to do it for you. Yoongi followed you into the bedroom while you shed off your blouse and socks, wearing only black bra to pace around the room. "...Around 8-ish, he says, he can't really say, since he had to fetch his wife first in her hometown," You gather your hair to one side while sitting on the floor to pull out a box underneath the bed, "I have been keeping this under my bed for awhile now, and I think it's time."

Hanging your coat and fetching your blouse from the bed, Yoongi sat on the floor next to the bed and watch you, "Time for what?"

"I bought a dress..." you wriggled your eyebrows at him. 'Is this the blue polka dot dress again you used when you tried to break up with me..." he shot.

"No..." you sang, "It's the one we bought in that in Waikiki." Yoongi knitted his brows together, "But that wasn't a dress." You revealed the dress and stood up. It was a hand printed fabric with tiny floral details, that Yoongi pointed out in that one trip in a fabric store. He said that, "...it looked like you. If you're a printed fabric." So you bought it and asked your cousin to have them made for you, the same way that polka dot dress were sewn, waistline knee-length dress. Since you were wearing only bra, you slipped those dress on and took off your work pants, spun around to show Yoongi how it looked like. Yoongi hugs his knees and gave you a gummy smile, crinkly eyes and a small, light-hearted chuckle. "...It looks good right?" You looked at yourself in the full-length mirror, and you saw Yoongi's expression through the reflection, full of adoration and love.

"It does. I have a good eye." He took the chance to self-compliment.

Crawling on all fours, you parted his knees so he could sit cross-legged before climbing into his lap with a faint smile on your lips, he circled his arms around your waist. "Working on Jimin's wedding made me think about ours..." You leaned your head back on his shoulder, his warm breath fanning against your exposed skin, calming. "...What about ours." He whispered. "Everything. How it began. How it almost didn't happen. My leap of faith and your persistence," you smiled, gratefully. "...I see how far we've come and I silently think about it when you sleep next to me. How did this creature managed to make me trust him when I could barely trust myself. How he loved me, when I could barely love myself. And why is he still here when I go insane," you trailed and trailed soft kisses down your neck, bit your shoulder gently, while you ruffle his hair. "I know what I want, I've lost you once, I wasn't going to lose you again."

Yoongi made a promise after that stinging pain on his cheek that night, that he was going to make you his, the next time he saw you. It didn't matter if you were preloved, he came back to finish his dues.

"It was love. It was definitely love. And I want it." Yoongi told himself,

"Verily, the stars had aligned, and they say, she's definitely mine."