#i opened discord one day and the server was gone and noone told me what happened :

[heirofnepeta]

I dub thee trans discord kitten

I-

I am noone's discord kitten.

Also Im kinda not in any servers anymore sooooo

[gratifiedbean-blog]

Summer 2019 Entries-- I guess

Last day of school: May 23, 2019

School lets us out early so by 12:30 is when we were free. So my mom is supposed to pick me up at 3 PM. All of my friends already left so I was at school alone. My dad didn’t pick up his phone because he would be my ride home if I wanted to go home earlier than 3. I thought of waiting until 3 for my mom but a great idea came to mind. I can walk home or take the bus home. I wanted to this for the longest that I can remember. I wanted to be able to get home by myself. I knew how to get home but usually never allowed to because my parents think that I’m so naive that I will get kidnapped. Screw them because they can’t stop me now. It was like 1:18 was when the bus leaves on the nearest cross street to my school. I had 2 5 bucks and bus fare is $2. I had to go in the opposite direction to get change and then run back to the stop to pay for the bus. Sadly, I missed that bus so I had to wait for the next one which was at 1:51 PM. The wait wasn’t bad. I could have gone and bought some food while I waited. 1:51 PM got on the bus, pay for my trip and off we go to the closest cross street to my house. I have never been so happy being on that bus by myself. Once I reached my house, I had to tell my dad a small lie. I told them one of my friends dropped me off. I made it home at like 2 PM flat.  After eating, I knocked at 6 pm.

Day 1 I woke up at 2 AM on the 24th of May. I just scrolled on Instagram until like 8 AM. I made this Tumblr account somewhen before noon. Read about psychology, psychopathy, and sociopathy for the rest of the day. Oh yes, I forgot to eat for like the whole day. I had my lunch at 3 PM. Read some more on Tumblr. Went for a walk to the nearest park where I contemplated how I don’t want to open up to people and be vulnerable with them. How I still love everyone but I don’t trust them. Must trust be a part of love?

--slowly leading into  Day 2 Came home to fellow discord friends planning to watch a movie at 10. First, it was Cat in the Hat. Didn’t even make it past 1/4 of the movie that we wanted to choose a different one. We watched Kiki’s Delivery Service at like 11 until 1 AM. KH, P and I stayed up until like 2 AM waiting for each other to leave. “Ladies first, 2nd wins, and last is a b--ch.” I called last. KH won’t go first but P won't sleep either. KH gave in first and knocked out at 2:35 AM. P and I DMed each other so we won't spam the server. We answered some questions from 365 questions. I did a bit of summer planning. Then at like 3 to 4, I tried to spin a marker to see whichever side points at me, that person has to sleep. Cap was P’s and back was mine. The cap pointed in my direction twice but apparently, it wasn't enough to be solid. Stayed up another hour. 4-5. The question was, “what is your biggest fear?“ and mine was being vulnerable. P’s was isolation. We had more questions leading to why. We both moved a lot. This got a bit personal with P’s family. My mom’s alarm rang at 5 and she woke up for work. I said bye and knocked out then. I woke up at 12 PM. Ate and texted P and in the discord server and type all this BS. It’s a Saturday. I’m kind of sad that I can’t go to KHL’s concert. Also kinda sad that both of us fell out of our friendship.  Maybe I’m just clingy and crap with the desperation for a good friend that will stay by my side.