#i only know what happened through tumblr so... sorry for innacuracies

[trilliastra]

[when canon lets you down, you write your own ending. a my roommate is a detective fix-it of sorts]

-

Salim hands him the letter a month after Lu Yao and Bai Youning leave for Paris.

“Qiao Chusheng, please. I do not know what to do! Lu Yao disappeared! Oh, I am afraid he will get hurt! Please, come quick!” It says in Youning’s neat handwriting. Qiao Chusheng is on his feet before Salim could leave the room, taking the letter with him as he storms out of his office. He only remembers to question how the letter arrived so quickly once his ticket to Paris has been bought.

–

He doesn’t get much sleep once he’s in the ship, nightmares with Lu Yao being tortured appear every time he closes his eyes. He left clear instructions to his men to question – or torture, whatever works – every British man in Shanghai and Master Bai promised, angrily, to look into it as well, he would have the head of anyone who made his daughter cry, thanking Qiao Chusheng profusely for deciding to take matters into his own hands “You’re a good man, Chusheng.” He had said.

There’s nothing good about him, Qiao Chusheng sighs, running his hands through his hair after yet another failed attempt to fall asleep. He’s selfish and ungrateful. His boss has been nothing but a great father figure to him, and Bai Youning a kind – and sometimes annoying – little sister, and yet he can’t help but want to take their happiness away. He should be going to Paris to pay a debt, help a friend, but in reality, he’s going to save the man he loves.

–

Some nights he dreams about stopping Lu Yao’s wedding, other nights, he’s the one on that ship with him not Bai Youning. After, he always wakes up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down his face.

It was painful to see his two closest friends getting married and smiling at each other happily, planning a life together while his own plans for the future are to try not to die. He’s been alone for as long as he can remember, and though Master Bai saved his life, he couldn’t give Qiao Chusheng the love he so desperately wanted. And once Chusheng became a weapon to protect his boss, he knew no one would get close enough to see him, let alone love one of the most dangerous man in Shanghai.

Qiao Chusheng had resigned himself to a life without love. And then Lu Yao came in. The man was never afraid to speak up and prove him wrong, and despite Qiao Chusheng’s reputation, Lu Yao never cowered in fear but instead, let himself get closer, become his ally and in the end, his friend.

It was impossible, Qiao Chusheng admits, not to fall in love with a man as free as the wind.

–

“Lao Qiao!” Bai Youning cries out, waving her hand at him. The people around them are staring, but he doesn’t care. He’s never been to another country before, but he doesn’t have time to think about the scenery, not when Lu Yao is in danger.

“What happened?” He immediately asks, holding her arms. She doesn’t look hurt, or upset for that matter. Qiao Chusheng narrows his eyes when she smirks at him. “What did you do?”

She smiles cheerfully, practically jumping in excitement. “I wrote a story!”

–

“Let me go,” he tries to shake her arm off, but Bai Youning only holds him tighter, “I have a job! I can’t travel to another country just to appease your childish needs!” He has never felt anger quite like this, especially not directed to someone he cherishes, but he just never expected her to play this kind of wicked trick.

“You are not listening!” She protests, “Lu Yao needs you!” Qiao Chusheng growls, pushing her away angrily. Bai Youning falls, letting out a surprised yelp and looking up at him with wide eyes. People around them stop immediately, shocked, and Qiao Chusheng himself blinks, astonished at his own action.

A woman helps Youning up, glaring and muttering angry words that he cannot understand, trying to pull her away from him, but Youning only shakes them off with kind words spoken in broken french.

“I am sorry.” He says, immediately, once the people around them start to leave, not without a last judging look. “I shouldn’t have –” he is about to kneel in front of her and apologize when Bai Youning raises her hand.

“Lao Qiao,” she interrupts, “just follow me.” She says, turning around. This time Qiao Chusheng follows silently.

–

They get a taxi to the hotel Lu Yao and Bai Youning have been staying. Qiao Chusheng keeps his head down the entire time, berating himself silently for letting his feelings get the best of him. She is the daughter of his master, in the end she owns him just as much as her father.

“You know how he is.” She says once they are at the hotel, climbing the stairs to her and Lu Yao’s room. He tries not to think about what they have been doing all this time, alone, but he looks up curiously when Youning stops in front of a closed door and turns to him. “He just wants to be free to do as he pleases, without his father telling him what to do or the watchful eyes of the Brits or even my father. And I –” she smiles sadly, “maybe I wanted the same.” He nods in understanding.

In Shaghai she will always be Bai Qili’s daughter, married or not.

“Then why bring me –”

“Lu Yao is a genius,” she cuts in again, rolling her eyes. “but he is also very very stupid. It is frustrating, really. Can you believe he thought you did not love him?” She huffs, ignoring the way Qiao Chusheng’s mouth opens in surprise. “Men, honestly.” Bai Youning pulls a key out of her purse and turns to the door.

Qiao Chusheng feels like he is in a dream where everything looks and feels confusing and time does not exist. Has it been that long since he stepped out of the boat? Or was it only two minutes ago? Is Bai Youning real or is his mind making it up and he will wake up from one of his naps to Salim bringing him coffee?

“Lu Yao!” Bai Youning yells, pushing Qiao Chusheng inside the room forcefully. “I got a present for you!”

“I don’t want another watch.” Lu Yao whines. He is lying on the couch, eyes closed, a bottle of wine in his hand. “I just want my Lao Qiao with me.” He sniffles, taking a gulp of wine. “It’s afternoon in Shanghai right now,” he keeps talking, unaware of Qiao Chusheng watching him from the door, “he must be training. Shirtless.” He sighs. “Sweating.”

Qiao Chusheng blinks, turns to look at Bai Youning, confused. She gestures at Lu Yao like saying ‘I told you’.

“Youning?” Lu Yao calls, sitting up. His hair is ruffled and the top button of his shirt is open, Qiao Chusheng doesn’t understand how someone can be so cute and so tempting at the same time. “Where is the –” he coughs, eyes wide as he notices Qiao Chusheng for the first time, “Lao Qiao.” his voice is barely a whisper and Qiao Chusheng can’t help but smile. He missed Lu Yao so much. A month is a long time, especially once he got so used to having him around, sharing meals and discussing cases. More than once, after Lu Yao and Bai Youning left, he caught himself walking to their old apartment in the morning, turning around to ask him about his opinion on the scene of the murder, only to realize Lu Yao was not there.

It was incredibly painful.

“Lao Qiao.” Lu Yao repeats, standing up. He staggers and Qiao Chusheng moves on instinct, ready to catch him if he falls, but Lu Yao manages to keep himself upright as his eyes move from Qiao Chusheng to Bai Youning. “What is happening? Something happened with your father? No,” he immediately says, “you look far too happy for it to be something bad.” He narrows his eyes at Bai Youning. “What did you do? You are my wife, you are supposed to take care of me and not –” he gestures towards Qiao Chusheng awkwardly, avoiding his eyes. The reminder of their wedding is enough to wipe the smile off of Qiao Chusheng’s face.

Bai Youning’s expression softens and her smile is sad as she says, “our parents are not here, you don’t need to pretend.”

“But –” Lu Yao looks at Qiao Chusheng, then immediately turns to her again, “he –” he mumbles.

“It was a long trip,” Qiao Chusheng crosses his arms over his chest, annoyed. This is getting too far. “I’d like an explanation. Now.” This is too cruel to be a prank, Bai Youning may be childish but she isn’t mean. Even though Lu Yao has no idea of Qiao Chusheng’s feelings, the look on Bai Youning says she has.

“I do not love him.” She finally says. And that – oh, that is worse than a prank, that is – it is cruel. Because Bai Youning knows him, he’s noticed the confused looks on her face, the understanding when he refused to leave the hospital when Lu Yao was shot, the pity on her wedding day. And he forgave her for marrying him anyway, he forgave her because he thought she loved him, because why should he deny her happiness when he will never get his. But this – oh, he never thought she would do something like this. “He does not love me.”

“Youning!” “You –” Lu Yao and Qiao Chusheng yell at the same time.

“We wanted to be free!” She keeps going, ignoring them both. “And I did not know.” She turns to him, rests her hands on his shoulder. “I swear I did not know. It was not my intention.” A stray tear falls from her eye and Qiao Chusheng feels all the anger leave him. “He loves you too. It is annoying how much he loves you.” Lu Yao shrieks, runs to put a hand over her mouth. Bai Youning only elbows his stomach and keeps talking, ignoring Lu Yao’s cries. “He talks about you when he is sober and he cries when he is drunk.”

“Bai Youning!” Lu Yao keeps trying to pull her back and Qiao Chusheng has never felt so many conflicting emotions in his life.

“But, you are married –” he finally says, “I saw it. We all did. Your father –”

“And no one knows.” She says. “Not here.” She holds another key for him to see. “We are sleeping in different rooms, I am his little sister. And nothing more.”

“Stop, please stop.” Lu Yao begs, collapsing on the floor. “He – Bai Youning, you know why I –”

“But he loves you!” She insists, pointing at Qiao Chusheng. “I know he does!”

“I do.” Qiao Chusheng finds his words again, eyes on Lu Yao. “I do love you. You are – ridiculous and clever and so – fascinating, I – of course I love you. The moment I met you – I had no choice but to love you.”

He watches Lu Yao shake his head as he starts to cry. He holds up his hand and Qiao Chusheng takes it. “I know you do.”

Bai Youning makes a noise of surprise and Qiao Chusheng tries to pull his hand back but Lu Yao tightens his hold, still kneeling in front of him. “I know you do.” He repeats, tears falling non-stop. “The way you touched me and looked at me and the way you talked.” Lu Yao smiles sadly. Qiao Chusheng never thought his heart could hurt so much.

“I cannot believe you –” Bai Youning screams, throwing her purse at Lu Yao, who barely moves, hand still holding Qiao Chusheng’s.

“I love you, so much.” Lu Yao confesses. “I have loved you from the moment you refused to say no to Bai Youning,” he sniffles, “a man so fierce but so sweet, a man capable of hurting to protect those he loves. So loyal.” He presses a kiss to Qiao Chusheng’s hand. “So brave.”

“Why?” Qiao Chusheng whispers, feeling his own eyes water. “You never said –”

“I love you.” Lu Yao repeats, fiercer this time. “But I will not go back, I can’t. And I won’t force you to leave everything you have behind. I love you too much for that.”

It all makes sense then. Lu Yao is a free spirit and he will never be free in Shanghai. He might go back for Qiao Chusheng but he will never be truly happy. There are too many variables, too much at stake.

He looks into Lu Yao’s eyes and sees it – the love, the one thing he had given up on. “I do not have much.” He finds himself saying. And he realizes it is true. A few shirts, some pants, another boot? Not even his house is his own. “I do not need much.” He adds, kneeling too. “Just you.” Lu Yao’s face brightens and Qiao Chusheng touches his cheek, feeling happy and seen and loved for the first time in his life.

–

Bai Qili gets a letter two months after Qiao Chusheng left for Paris, almost five months since his only daughter got married.

“Qiao Chusheng tried his best, but oh, those evil, evil, men. In the end, he could not save him, father, but he gave his life trying and I shall remember him for eternity. And Lu Yao, I can still see his smile, feel his hand on mine, I wish to come back but I am afraid I will only miss him more. And oh, his family, I cannot face them. Please father, I hope you understand. One day I shall come back to visit, but I am afraid Shanghai without my beloved Lu Yao and my friend Qiao Chusheng is not the same. It is not home.”

Oh, his poor child. Bai Qili thinks. She must be feeling lost in Paris, without a husband or her family. He will bring her back, she must stay with him, it will hurt for a while but she will get better, he knows because he will be there for her. Always.

–

Bai Youning is sitting outside the adorable bakery near her hotel. She puts the pen down and takes a sip of her coffee, thinking about what to write her father about Berlin. She’s never been there, obviously, but neither did he, so he won’t know the difference. When he send his men to search for her she won’t be there, but it is for the best.

She smiles as Lu Yao and Qiao Chusheng discuss what flavor of cake they are going to try today. To the outsider they look like ordinary friends having a heated conversation about chocolate and strawberry, but Bai Youning knows better, watching Lu Yao touch Qiao Chusheng’s hand softly while the latter smiles in adoration.

It all worked out in the end, she sighs, perfectly content.