#i notice a pattern in all the ships i like theres always that one person in the relationship who is just so damn pathetic its embarrassing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

palettepainter · 4 years ago

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*slides into the ask box* Psst, may I please request some Jeanist x Ragdoll headcannons? I think the ship is cute I want more of it

Yes you can cuz I am a sucker for opposites attract dynamics! This ship is my jam

Some of these headcannons where discussed with my bud @hazbinextgeneration who also ships Jeanist x Ragdoll. I can’t remember who came up with what headcannon but know she helped come up with some of them. I’m really happy people are requesting headcannons cuz I do love to discuss them! I just get a little shy sometimes

WARNING: Slight spoilers to MHA in this post

-It was actually my friend who got me into this ship so credit to them for showing me it! We where discussing how the two would eventually meet since Ragdoll and Jeanist hadn’t interacted in the series at all. Again no clue who suggested this but we thought Ragdoll could become friends with Jeanist after the Kamino incident with All for One. After Kamino Jeanist lost his lung, which obviously is going to affect his stamina in his hero career. He lost his lung after he was able to pull all the other heroes out of the way of the blast set off by All for One - including Tiger and Ragdoll. Ragdoll is a little shy first meeting Jeanist, she was still sad about the loss of her quirk and that put a damper on her usually happy go lucky attitude. Jeanist is surprised at her visit but not disappointed by it, it was nice to have some company. Ragdoll thanks Jeanist for pulling Tiger and herself from the blast, to which Jeanist simply replies he was just doing his duty as a hero and there was no need for thanks. Despite that Ragdoll still felt as if she had to prove her thanks, since Jeanist has suffered the lost of his lung because of it.

She makes her visits to the hospital daily, and Jeanist always appreciates the company of someone to talk to, it can get a little boring when you’re stuck in a recovery bed all day. Ragdoll talks about the most random things, theres no rhythm or pattern to her conversations: one minute she’s talking about the weather, the next she’s telling Jeanist all about this new cupcake she brought from the bakery. Jeanist more or less does the listening while Ragdoll does most of the talking but he prefers listening to her talk over the silence. Once Jeanist is allowed to leave the hospital Ragdoll is already waiting for him outside, which surprised him, he hadn’t expected her to come see him. Ragdoll had in fact asked one of the nurses monitoring Jeanist’s when he was going to be allowed to recover from his home, she thought it’d be nice for the two to have one last conversation while he walked home.

When Jeanist finally reaches his front door he thanks Ragdoll for keeping him company during his time in the hospital, and the two exchange numbers - Ragdoll doing so because she wanted to make sure Jeanist knew if he ever wanted to talk to someone she was there. Jeanist thanked her and told her he’d keep the offer in mind, but he didn’t think he’d actually ever need to call her for that

-Jeanist was wrong. Missing one lung all of a sudden would be hard on anyone, and Jeanist was not immune to the struggles that came with recovery. Adjusting was harder then he thought - little things that he didn’t even notice before all of a sudden began to bother him, he became snappy and stressed, the growing curiosity from the media and public all wondering when Jeanist would make his grand return just adding more weight on his shoulders. When he finally snaps he just lays down on his sofa and cries, until he feels exhausted and empty afterwards. He didn’t even remember calling Ragdoll to come over, but when she rushes in he doesn’t refuse the hug, he doesn’t stop the tears building up in his eyes again, he doesn’t try to muffle his sobs - he just breaksdown. The next morning Jeanist wakes up late, a rarity. He wakes up sprawled under his bed sheets with hair messy and still in his clothes from yesterday. When he manages to roll out of bed he walks into his kitchen to see something unexpected: Ragdoll as humming away cooking breakfast. Ragdoll, as if cooking breakfast in his home was totally normal, rushes him off to the bathroom so he can clean up, all the while Jeanist is still confused. After he’s cleaned up and his hair is combed he returns back into the kitchen to find what had to be the most obnoxiously cute breakfast he’d seen. The food had all been arranged to make smiley and kitty faces, and there was just so much! Jeanist assures Ragdoll that she didn’t have to make him breakfast, but Ragdoll just bats her hand with a smile and tells him to eat, nothing like a good breakfast to start the day of right! (Jeanist wouldn’t lie the food was delicious) While he eats himself and Ragdoll fill the silence with conversation. Jeanist asks Ragdoll what she was doing in his home so early, and Ragdoll replies sheepishly that after his breakdown yesterday, she slept on his sofa for the night, just in case he needed someone to pick him back up if he began to cry again. Jeanist is left speechless for two minutes, and it actually took Ragdoll lightly poking him for him to blink and come back to reality. He thanks Ragdoll again for her kindness and allowing him to let out his sadness without her judging or probing him for answers, and then pulls her into another hug

-Jeanist and Ragdoll become genuine friends outside of hero work and are each others supportive figure during their recovery. Jeanist is there to listen and comfort Ragdoll when she hits a bump in the road, and the sadness from the loss of her quirk returns - and vise versa with Ragdoll, who is there for Jeanist to lean on and sit with for company when he gets overwhelmed again. Ragdoll temporarily moves into the city to be closer to Jeanist, staying at a hotel with Tiger who was also taking some time off to recover from the Kamino incident. Due to Jeanist being temporarily out of action with his injury the two can’t really go out places, but Ragdoll, being physically fine despite loosing her quirk, tries her best to bring something new to talk with with Jeanist when she goes to visit. Sometimes it would be the latest fashion magazine, and she’d have to stiffen her snickering while Jeanist critiqued the outfits. Other days she’d bring some nice food over and the two would have lunch, other times she’d bring round a movie or a book she thought Jeanist might like. One day after the two have been friends for little over half a year and Ragdoll has come over to visit Jeanist enters the lounge with two hot drinks, one for himself and Ragdoll, and Ragdoll replies with a merry ‘Thanks Jeany!’ - Jeanist paused for a moment, processing the nickname. He’d never really been fond of using nicknames, he thought it wasn’t very professional for a grown man like himself to give others nicknames. Ragdoll catches the confused yet thoughtful look in his eye that isn’t covered by his fringe and asks if she overstepped things, Jeanist takes another moment to think..before shaking his head, saying it’s fine, for some reason Jeanist doesn’t seem to mind nicknames when it’s Ragdoll who’s using them.

-Lets all admit it Jeanist has fangirls, come on, with his looks he’s gotta have a couple douzand at least. With hero work, personal life and media Jeanist has never really had time to persue a propper relationship. He’s had relationships in the past during his early hero days, but with hero work and his gradual rising to the top ten his relationships often ended, which he understood - but he still felt a little bit lonely. Jeanist never even considered Ragdoll as a lover until he heard her laugh. Ragdoll had decided the two should try baking, it was something new to try and it would keep them entertained! Jeanist had done baking before so agreed without much persuasion. They ended up making a cake, which Jeanist didn’t do very often on the count he wasn’t the biggest fan of sweets, but he had Ragdoll as a baking assistant so eventually, they’d end up baking a cake. Ragdoll on the whole, despite being a hero, could be pretty oblivious as Jeanist learnt: as when it came to mixing in the flour with the mixer Jeanist stopped her, he went on a bit of a rant saying how her hair could get caught and then tangle up in the machine, all the while Ragdoll is trying to tell him not to turn on the mixer but..she was too late. Jeanist turned around, switched on the mixer, and the flour went right in his face. Ragdoll had been trying to turn down the mixing speed so the flour wouldn’t go anywhere. Jeanist, face, jumper, and apron covered in flour he blinks..and then lets out a single sneeze, before Ragdoll absolutely looses it.

Jeanist tries to be angry with her, saying that it wasn’t funny, but Ragdoll just couldn’t take him seriously in that moment. Jeanist rolls his eyes, accepting defeat as he reaches for a tea towel to wipe his face - and then Ragdoll giggle snorts. It’s the most dorkiest dorky sound he’s ever heard

Basically Jeanist had an ‘omg I’m in love’ moment while covered in flour standing blankly in the middle of his messy kitchen

-Their relationship became offical after everyone thought Hawks killed Jeanist and he returned. Jeanist is not prepared when a sobbing Ragdoll launches herself at him, actually knocking them both over. Ragdoll is gross sobbing into his chest telling him to never EVER scare her like that again you big idiot! Jeanist, exhausted from battle, can only sigh and weakly hug her back while softly apologizing. Once again Ragdoll is at his side during his recovery after the battle, noticeably more clingy and fretting. It took much reassurance from Jeanist but Ragdoll began to chill out a bit. Jeanist was the one who confessed first the day after he was let out from hospital, and Ragdoll once again, throws herself at him in a hug. They end up in a pile on his floor laughing, and then Ragdoll is the one who makes the first move and gives his cheek (whatever cheek is visible behind his high collar jumper) a kiss. It wasn’t Jeanist’s most graceful moment - laying there on his floor red faced and wide eyed, totally shocked at the fact Ragdoll just KISSED him as his brain rebooted. The damned little giggles and snickers cause the red in his face to deepen before he returns the kiss.

The two move in together in the city though Ragdoll still keeps in contact with Mandalay, Pixie and Tiger. Tiger and Mandalay are happy that Ragdoll found herself someone while Pixiebob took a little longer to come around. Jeanist and Ragdoll did their best to keep their relationship out of the public eye as much as possible, however when kids came around that became almost impossible. Ragdoll and Jeanist have three kids: Ito (my OC), Koneko (my OC) and a daughter named Shiruku (my pals OC). Shiruku and Koneko both go to UA while Ito is a model/undercover hero. Regardless that the media know of his relationship with Ragdoll Jeanist still does his best to keep his love life private, mostly for safety reasons as he doesn’t want any villain going after Ragdoll to get to him. To help with this Ragdoll took some self defence classes and still continues to do so to make sure she stays in shape. Ragdoll is much stronger then she looks even without her quirk.

-Their wedding was traditional yet fancy, Jeanist wanted the wedding to be special so pulled out all the stops to make sure it was memorable. Ragdoll, to no surprised, wanted to have some cat kind of theme to the wedding for kicks and giggles, Jeanist wasn’t sure of this idea at first but the two compromised and got a cat themed wedding cake. Jeanist agrees it was a good idea in the end just to see the child like joy in Ragdoll’s eyes when he and her cut the cake. Tiger, despite looking intimidating, was so so supportive and totally cried at the wedding. Him and Ragdoll have a sibling like bond, and Jeanist was very relieved to know Tiger supported their relationship. Mandalay, being the mum friend of the group, also cried at the wedding and like Tiger was very supportive and congratulating of Ragdoll and Jeanist. Pixie was..eh, fifty fifty. I headcannon Pixiebob as the protective sibling like friend, when she first found out Ragdoll and Jeanist where dating she straight up asked ‘What are your intentions with my team mate you denim wearing dunce?’ - to which Mandalay then forced Pixie to apologize. By the time the wedding came around Pixie was genuinely happy for Ragdoll but a small part of her was still unsure. She’s happy for Jeanist and Ragdoll now days, but has promised that if Jeanist breaks lil old Ragdoll’s heart she’ll break him like a twig - to which again Mandalay made her apologize and told Jeanist she was joking (she wasn’t)

-Not really a ship related one but I’ll put it here anyway. In my NGAU I headcannon Gang Orca and Jeanist as best friends. They went to school together and their friendship just stuck. Orca despite not having many relationships even in his highschool years very quickly picked up on Jeanist’s attraction towards Ragdoll before he did, but he never commented on it until the day Jeanist called him to admit he might have like Ragdoll romantically - to which Orca replied he had known for a long time. Their conversation went like this basically

Jeanist: Kugo, I..I think I may be attracted to Ragdoll

Gang Orca: I know Jeanist

Jeanist: What do you think I-...Wait, what do you mean you know?!

Gang Orca: I’m not blind

-Again not exactly ship related but whatever I’m putting it here too. Jeanist was on board with having kids, having a little family, call it a domestic daydream. Jeanist assumed any child of his would have his impeccable taste in fashion and glorious silky hair. He was only half right.

Ito (my OC), Jeanist’s and Ragdoll’s first born son does have the natural Hakamada silky hair and good looks..but he’s a total slob outside of modelling. When Ito comes to visit since he no longer lives at home he dresses like a teenager. He walks about the home in just sweat pants sometimes, his hair not brushed and not washed. Ragdoll is all chill with this because she likes to baby her kids, and despite looking like a slob Ito does still clean up any mess he makes in his parents home. Jeanist has had to more then once restrain Ito so he can comb that messy hair of his, and Ito gave up years ago trying to escape. He’ll enter the lounge wearing baggy pj’s, sit down and have a coffee, and then greet his dad who’s already scowling at his messy hair while he drags a comb through it. Ito sometimes pokes fun at his old man but Jeanist does not stand for such behavior in his house, and Ito quickly learns that when Jeanist threatens to give him a hair cut.

Their second son Koneko (my OC) is much more like Ragdoll and, to Jeanist’s relief, doesn’t wear dirty sweatpants around the home. He too also has the natural silky Hakamada hair, but Koneko’s hair is always tricky to style. Everytime Jeanist combs it all neat and tidy, it poofs back into it’s natural curly messy state. It drives Jeanist crazy-

-I remember seeing a post about this ages ago, I’ll see if I can find the post, but Bakugo was Koneko’s sort of babysitter when he was little. Bakugo now that he’s older begrudgingly admits that yeah, maybe as a kid he diiiid have some temper issues, and that maybe - just maybe - Jeanist was a good mentor after all. Bakugo didn’t know how he ended up roped into babysitting, but he was. The day he actually began to enjoy babysitting was the day he taught Jeanist’s kid to say die, it amused him for weeks, Jeanist not so much. Koneko ends up idolizing Bakugo, and Bakugo still being a smug b*stard totally rubs it in Jeanist’s face that his kid idolizes him. Jeanist doesn’t mind his son being a fan of Bakugo but he’s got a sharp eye on them

#MHA #BNHA #Best Jeanist #Jeanist #Ragdoll #Jeanist x Ragoll #I call this ship Jeankitty but if anyone has a better name let me know #headccannons

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nbapprentice · 6 years ago

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there’s so, so, SO much nonsense surrounding this game that i’m gonna do my best to separate it into digestible bits, with its own categories. even then this is... wow. it’s big.

Warning tags will be added at the start of every section, but the general gist is: incest, pedophilia mentions, fetishization of rape and abuse, fetishization of mlm, fetishization of people of color, racism, ableism, nb erasure and transphobia. aside of the warnings, this post will also touch upon Scummy Business Practices

let’s get going

Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber: #incest #pedophilia#rape and abuse fetishization #homophobia

tl;dr: dana loves incest porn, elle loves guy on guy rape, and the both of them are friends with at least one pedophile

dana rune has run, is still running an incest zine (please visit my faq on what i think about “thats not really incest” and “it’s just fictional!”). The Arcana, as a dev team, clearly does not care, as shown in their e-mail responses.

dana also very much doesn’t care and has reacted to any criticism on this by dismissing people and blocking actual incest victims who tried to contact her about it claiming it was for her “mental health”

in some tweets she claims she “interprets” the characters as not siblings, but she never really cared enough to cover her ass when it all began (she happily admits she’d “cross the incest line”)

dana has commissioned artists who also ship incest, draw near-pedophilic art that’s supposed to pass as acceptable because the character involved is supposedly not a minor despite looking like a child down to wearing pigtails (the character is also wearing a racist-ass belly dancer outfit), AND even made white-washed fanart of The Arcana.

dana follows twitter user kapymui who also produces incestuous Fire Emblem art

dana has retweeted omocat long after it came out that omocat is, at the very least, consuming pedophilic content (on “omocat didn’t know what shota meant!”: yes they did)

moving on, elle has a long, long, LONG history of fetishizing mlm and the rape and abuse that comes with yaoi and had a rich, RICH “yaoi” tag before they deleted their tumblr

they curiously deleted their tumblr right after i made this reblog

shortly after that, tumblr user thalassiq remade and started attacking and insulting any blogs criticizing them - even people providing support in IMs. Since this doesn’t match Dana and Elle’s normal pity parties I’m personally willing to believe they were just a person wanting to start shit - but it’s so telling how Elle used this chance to dismiss everyone who disagrees with them by calling them “children” and did not even bother to offer a kind word to people who were harassed and even had their trauma mocked by this person. It costs 0 dollars to say “that was not me but I’m sorry about people who were hurt.”

Dana and Elle are close with Ava’s Demon creator Michelle Czajkowski aka that one person who endorses child porn of her characters, and even had her draw a promo image for the game. Michelle has been creating highly sexualized content of her minor characters for a while now.

ok so elle and dana are gross freaks, how is that related to the game?

oh it’s very very related

Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber that’s Actually Inside The Game or The Game’s Blog: now with more #racism #fetishization of poc and mlm #whitewashing #fat hate #pedophilia #nb erasure #transphobia

tl;dr: the arcana is filled to the brim with racism! so much of it! haha holy shit! and that’s not even where it ends!!!

their game is rated PG-13 but includes incredibly sexual situations such as Julian making this fucking face while getting off on pain. This isn’t the only time Dana and Elle use their videogame aimed at young teens to showcase their kinks and fetishes. I have no issue with NSFW or titillating content, as long as it’s rated accordingly. This content is NOT and it’s a blatant disregard for their audience just to have a larger, more pliable demographic and have more money sent their way.

if you start your argument with “well, teenagers look at porn” 1. shut up 2. theres a HUGE difference between teenagers going after adult content aimed at adults, and adults creating content they know will be seen by kids barely starting puberty

as pointed above, dana has 0 qualms literally commissioning people who make whitewashed fanart of her own fucking game that’s supposed to be all about the inclusivity and safe spaces

thearcanagame blog has a pattern of reblogging whitewashed fanart (before you come in swinging with the good ole “ITS THE LIGHTING”: 1. no it isnt 2. the artist should’ve picked better lightning then 3. i draw and post shit online too so dont come telling me i just dont understaaaand),

fanart of their fat characters showed skinnier than they are in their sprites (although to be real for a moment - Portia is curvy at most and them behaving she’s fat rep is HILARIOUS).

going back to NSFW content: nadia and asra are overwhemlingly sexualized in the game, and were the first to have sexualized CGs and sprites introduced.

CGs: Asra’s here, here aND HERE, Nadia’s here with a NSFW warning because she’s just got her whole fucking ass out. Sprites: Asra’s thank god for whoever compiled it all in one image, Nadia’s and once again, NSFW warning lmfao!

Julian’s sprites on the other hand are noticeably tamer, including the one where he’s fucking strapped in leather. His only sexual (NSFW warning because its literally softcore tentacle porn WHICH, ONCE AGAIN, SHOULDN’T BE PUT IN A GAME AIMED AT 13YOS) CGs were also included months after Nadia and Asra received any of theirs.

Through all of the updates, people have constantly requested that Asra and Nadia’s sexualization be toned down, and time after time The Arcana just churned out fetishistic, hypersexualized content at an absurd rate, especially when compared to the one white love interest.

Oh, speaking of the one white love interest: Julian is based off of Jeff Goldblum (this is not spectulation - they p much bring it up at any given time) but like. If Jeff Goldblum was white. They base their favorite love interest off their supposed favorite man in the world but casually leave his skin tone behind. Lmao.

they also play favorites very obviously - in the prologue, Nadia and Asra have a romance paid scene each. Julian has a scene... that requires no coins. Julian was also the first LI to receive three CGs, two of them requiring no coins, while both Asra’s and Nadia’s first CGs were behind a paywall

Dana and Elle have been notoriously skittish about confirming or denying their characters’ ethnicities. After hyping for weeks on thearcanagame that they would confirm the character’s races they basically made a post that amounted to “well they’re not white lol!”

they only relented after the perfectly understandable outrage... and posted a thread about it on Elle’s twitter. Nothing on the actual thearcanagame blog. Anyway, here’s the thread. Note how there’s mention of Julian being Jeff Goldblum... but nothing about him and Portia being Jewish (or “fantasy Jewish” as it were).

The one time they did confirm their jewishness dana then backpedaled and said she shouldn’t have done that lol.

another fun tidbit of how well The Arcana handles race and how much it cares about feedback from fans: an ask was sent about an anon begging for Nadia to step on them. The blog, with the finesse of a bunch of horny dumbasses, didn’t just publish the ask, but approved of it (even though the fans of color had long, long, LONG been telling everyone not to fetishize Nadia into a “step on me kween” wet dream). People were outraged, of course, and the blog ~apologized~ and said they were still learning.... then a new chapter included a scene of Nadia stepping on the Apprentice. 🙃

not to mention elle, on their twitter, made a passive aggressive “women can be doms?” tweet, trying to twist it into a “yr oppressing women” angle (when the issue is that women of color are always constantly portrayed as aggressive and domineering)

Now for a wombo combo of racism and Elle’s fetishization of mlm:

the devs have spoken at length of how Julian’s and Asra’s relationship was quite unhealthy. In a paid scene in Asra’s route, they’re depicted as Asra being disgusted w Julian touching him+Julian following Asra to his shop when Asra refused his offer to go with him (aka julian... stalked him lmfao).

.......... this scene is promptly followed by a highly sexual scenario where Julian’s pain fetish is played up. Remember how this game is rated PG-13? Me neither. Asra’s previous disgust with Julian is also forgotten, for some reason (and by some reason i mean Elle wants to make them fuck w/o buildup or logic).

Then Asra’s route has yet another paid scene dedicated to Asrian, even though he’s supposed to not even like Julian! And be head over heels with the Apprentice! But Elle just has to make these two be entangled despite insisting their relationship was not good for either of them!

Now here’s the kicker: Julian doesn’t have any paid scenes related to his romance with Asra. Note how it’s one of the brown LIs whose route is highjacked by the white LI, but not vice versa. Hmmmmm.

Now, on the topic of Asra: thearcanagame has said repeatedly that he’s nb and uses he/him pronouns, and promised (since last year) that there would be dialogue where he speaks about his gender

as of the making of this post such dialogue still does not exist

so basically asra is the nb to dumbledore’s gay: anyone who just plays the game w/o keeping up with the official blog has no idea of what asra’s gender is supposed to be.

aka he’s not nb. he’s just a cis guy. the arcana just doesn’t want to put its money where its mouth is, i dont care if elle is nb themself. the team made a promise which has not been fulfilled yet and i suspect will not be.

instead, our introduction to canon nb characters is... these two.

By “these two” i mean neither vulgora nor valdemar are even fucking human, and stick out like sore thumbs with their monstruousness.

so our nb rep is... non-human villains. a few books later one of Nadia’s sisters with they/them pronouns shows up, but that’s too little too late on top of the fact that we should’ve known Asra was nb from the first to begin with. It’s a fucking embarrassment and an insult.

at least two villains are visibly disabled (Lucio’s missing arm and Volta’s blind eye+intentionally asymmetrical face). Julian’s eye doesn’t count because, spoilers, he’s not lacking an eye and even if he was it’d still be hidden behind a dashing eyepatch instead of grotesquely displayed as a sign of his lacking morality.

BUT WAIT! IT DOESN’T EVEN END THERE!

The Arcana Exploits The App Business Model To Price Their Full Game at $500, $1000 if the three extra routes make it out, and they never delivered their Kickstarter rewards:

tl;dr: you heard me

the original price per route was planned on being $1.99

they took that “subject to change” really seriously, it seems, because now each route, once the game is fully out, is estimated to cost around $170 each.

both those screenshots are taken from this post which explains in detail just how truly scummy all of The Arcana’s business model and decisions are: https://mysticmicrotransactions.tumblr.com/post/174308723344/dishonesty-from-the-arcana

the tl;dr is basically what’s listed in the beginning of this section, but other highlights from that post are: the use of addictive gambling mechanics such the Wheel of Fortune, and the dazzling calls to action in the new mini-game.

something that The Arcana supporters forget (or choose to ignore) is the fact that for a long, long time the game did not have the mini-game or the log-in rewards for coins. Players depended only on the gambling of the WoF or paying absurd amounts of money for the new chapters.

the devs went from playing the victims who were unable of controlling prices to (as spoken of in the link from mysticmicrotransactions) saying the making of the game (a pathetic little app game backed by a studio and a kickstarter) justifies the prices

they also gave people false hope about maybe changing the prices in the future, all while bleeding money from loyal players in “micro” transactions

the arcana literally added a $99.99 coins option on their latest update

in case it hasn’t sunk in yet: you can pay a hundred dollars upfront to the arcana, and you still will not have access to the whole game

there is no defense to this

none

“it’s free stop whining” let me explain:

“spend months on end accumulating fake currency or pay hundreds of dollars up-front to be able to play” is a scummy business model no matter how you look at it

if i can spend $60 upfront to play an AAA game there’s no excuse to demand more than that for a game with much smaller and, honestly, inferior content

the combination of there being already far and few games featuring lgbt characters and characters of color AND the little cult of personality set up by Dana and Elle makes people feel that spending money to support them is an acceptable expense.

it’s not

manipulating people into spending ridiculous amounts of money and then claiming “it’s their choice” is just scummy business, baby, and thats all the arcana does

the devs are brats who instead of admitting $500 is absurd for a game instead write petty little caricatures into their game - like, lbr: dana, elle, if i could afford diamonds in my hair i wouldn’t have even bothered with your shitstain of a game

despite bragging that ppl would get the full story w/o needing to pay, the paid scenes are pretty much required - the first few books of julian’s route have no romance without accessing any of the paid options. you dont even get so much as a kiss in without handing coins over. many, many people were baffled when julian had a teary break-up scene when from their perspective they hadn’t even started building a relationship.

wow that’s more than i ever thought it’d be

and i’ve been aware of their bullshit for near a whole year now!

i don’t have much of a note to end this on, other than: the arcana just isn’t even that good. it suffers from weak writing, pathetic character development and above all actually harmful content. do not try to argue with me on any of these points unless you’ve read all of that, because whatever you have to say i’ve likely mentioned before. if you still are that determined to yell at a me on the internet, please preface your argument with the phrase “I’m a pee pee poo poo man” so I know you’ve read everything in here. thank you!

#the arcana #the arcana game #julian devorak #count lucio #asra #HAHA HOO BOY

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missjackil · 7 years ago

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Writing Tips for Sam and Dean

I’ll let you all know that Im not a seasoned writer like many of you are, I only have a handful of fics under my belt. Not all are fan faves, some people don’t like the ship (most of my stuff is low smut wincest) or maybe they don’t like the ending, but Sam and Dean are the primary focus of all of my stories (except The One Who Remembers which is all Sam) and I am always told that I kept them in character well, which I take great pride in. For me, if they are not in character, then Im not reading Sam and Dean, Im reading a story about other people with the same names. This isn’t to say Sam and Dean can’t or shouldn’t be written OOC, they can be written any way you want them to be and thats perfectly fine, but if you want to write them, and keep them real, I hope these tips will help. Choose a Season: This is pretty important because both brothers change over the years. Sam especially. Dean changes, but not as rapidly as Sam does. Like, I cant believe that S7 Sam and S8 Sam are the same person, or that they’re even related to S1 Sam, or become S12 Sam. Dean’s character changes, but more subtly and over a longer period of time. So if you’re going to have a silly yet over protective Dean, dial back to seasons 1-3 and choose a Sam from those seasons. (sure, you absolutely can interchange them, I just personally find the story flows nicer if my head is in the same season for both)

Pretend it’s an Episode: Even if you’re going to add language, violence, and smut that would never be seen on the show, imagine yourself watching what you’re writing. What does the scene look like, where are they, what would their facial expressions show. It’s good to visualize the scene. This can help you when you’re stuck for their next line. Take a moment to describe the scenary, and think, “what do I expect would happen next” and go from there. Sometimes, its just the kick you need. Dean is Easier to Write For: He just is. This is not an insult to either brother, it is simply because Dean is an extrovert, and Sam is an introvert. Dean always lets us know how he’s feeling, Sam doesn’t. This is a big reason why I think most fics and even most episodes seem to be more from Dean’s POV than Sam’s even when they’re Sam centric. The original formula for the show was to be Sam’s journey, through Dean’s eyes. I don’t think they’ve stuck to that for the most part, but I do think its why the characters are written that way. Most of the time, for us to have a clue what Sam is thinking, we need to watch his facial expressions and body language.

For an example - Regarding Dean. When Dean is cured and tricks Sam into thinking he still didnt have his memory, Sam didnt say anything, but looked upset. Then Dean laughed, and let him know he was joking, and all Sam said was “Not funny.” But he went through about 5 emotions in his face in 2 seconds flat. Had it been the other way around, and Sam played like he didnt remember Dean, Dean would have been vocal “What the hell?? You said you could fix him!!!” and when Sam let him know he was joking, Dean probably would have laughed, barked at Sam, probably threaten to kick his ass (lovingly of course) and probably hugged him (hmmm now I wish it had been Sam that lost his memory lol) So you’re writing a scene in which Sam is emotional. He may talk about what’s on his mind, but most is going to be left in his mind, and not become words. You can make him say something, but then show what he’s thinking. Maybe he doesnt say a word, but looks at Dean or, something, and then you express his thoughts.[ Sam’s hands were shaking. Dean put a hand on his shoulder “You okay Sammy?” “I’m fine” Sam replied, hoping to hide how terrified he was.] If the situation is reversed, Dean will probably say that he’s scared. Notice their normal speech patterns and habits: Dean uses a lot of pop culture references. Sam does sometimes, but not to the extent that Dean does. Sam huffs a lot. Try to include this the best way you can; words like “huff, breath, breathes, exhales, and sighs are good words to use. Dean uses a lot more words than Sam does to express a thought. This doesn’t mean Sam doesn’t say profound things, he just gets to the point faster, however, when he does use a lot of dialogue, every word has intent, he doesn’t use many extra words like “very” or “really” all that often. He also tends to state things twice, like “I believe you, I do” or “Im happy, I am” and Dean will often use hyperbole “Its been a really really really REALLY long long long long time” and don’t forget, Dean says “awesome” a lot! Romance, Fluff, and Sex: A lot of you wont write Wincest, and thats fine, but you will probably write fluff and bromance. In true SPN character, Dean is mainly dominant, and Sam is submissive, however, this isn’t the case all the time, so in a sexual situation, since they have no canonical sex, theres nothing OOC about making either dom or sub, or switching it up. Since their onscreen life is platonic, the logistics of sex is whatever you want them to be, any kinks or what have you, is all up for grabs, but if you want to keep the brothers in character, try not to change their chemistry and personalities in bed from what it is out of bed. Sam isn’t likely the one to talk dirty, Dean probably does. Sam probably rolls his eyes and pretends he doesnt like it. Dean is naturally less inhibitted than Sam, and Sam naturally over thinks things. Neither are overly needy, but like feeling like the most important thing in the world to the other. Remember they’re brothers, They have spent most of their lives together and have no need to impress the other, so don’t feel like they wouldnt laugh, make jokes, or tease each other during intimate times. They can be heartbreakingly, and painfully honest, and also immature, giant 12 year olds. Even if you arent writing sex for them, this goes just as well for fluff and general bromance. If you are writing sex, dont feel the need to establish that one or both are gay or bisexual. This is not necessary given their relationship. Their sexuality is established as historically straight in canon, so if they DO have sex with each other, they are the only male’s they have ever had sex with..... more than likely. Stay away from making either of them too feminine. Both have natural femine qualities that can be used, but they will go right out of character if one begins to act female, or if the other is treating him as such. Stay away from typical fanon wincest terms like “baby boy” or “daddy”, Sam would probably punch Dean if he called him “baby boy” and Dean’s mood would be lost of Sam called him “Daddy”... face it, their daddy issues are not of the sexual nature, but again, this is only if you want to keep them in character. They have their own things they call each other, like little brother, buddy, Dee (a name only used once so keep that in mind too) brother, big brother, which work pretty well, but theyre not the most endeering, so you can get creative, but, if youre keeping them in character, maybe stay away from “honey” or “sweetheart” I hope these hints help, and if you are writing and need help with writing for this wonderful characters, please dont hesitate to message me, Id be honored to help!!

#writing tips #for keeping the boys in character #sam and dean

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captainkaladinstormblessed · 8 years ago

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um of course you should do bodhi/cassian :D

(after that initial mishap, here goes attempt 2)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lov

proposes: bodhi! even with his anxiety, if he wants something desperately enough, he wont let the nerves get in his way of at least trying. meanwhile cassian has grown up learning that everyone and everything is temporary and no one ever stays, so he would never expect for any one to pledge to stay with him for the rest of their lives, and he especially doesnt think he deserves for someone to, either, not after everything hes done, even after he and bodhi have been together for years, he always fears, but expects, it to end. (bodhi talks some sense into him. “That may be what you think, but what do you want, Cassian?” And he does. He wants this so desperately. He says yes)

shops for groceries: together because its a novelty neither of them have had the opportunity to indulge in for so many years, if ever. theyre that one disgustingly cute couple who fight over which cereal to buy, then kiss over the cart

kills the spiders: cassian, but he doesnt kill them, he puts them outside. (“but what if it comes back inside?!” “it’s just a spider bodhi” “spiders existing is homophobia, cassian!”)

comes home drunk at 3am: bodhi doesnt drink, but cassian usually wont stay out that late or get that smashed either, especially without bodhi. on the rare occasion kes keeps him out so long, he always gets home and is super snuggly and just octopus’ himself around bodhi

remembers to feed the fish: technically it’s bodhis responsibility since cassian is away often and it should just be part of bodhis routine except it isnt and he forgets a lot, then overfeeds it the next day. when cassian gets home, hes no better. eventually they install an automatic food dispenser

initiates duets: cassian! theyre in the mess and a song comes over the sound system, one that cassian has been playing in the ship for weeks. cassian smirks at him and starts singing the words, encouraging bodhi to join in. he buries his head in his arms for the first minute but eventually its gets to That Point in the song and he gives in and fully belts it out and cassian is grinning and singing and bodhi keeps singing and k2so stares at them like theyre mad and at the end the half empty mess cheers. bodhi tries to melt into the floor. cassian kisses his cheek and distracts him entirely.

falls asleep first: it varies day to day. sometimes cassian is so exhausted from a mission that he knocks right out the moment he lies down. sometimes its a different kind of exhaustion, the kind that keeps him awake all night, unable to stop thinking about everything, the kind that whenever he closes his eyes he has to force them open again because he cant see the faces of all the people he’s killed, all the names hes forgotten. he cant spend 6 hours watching them on repeat on the back of his eyelids. so he stays awake. bodhi on the other hand, sometime just works till he falls asleep in the hangar, working on his ship. hes also the type to fall into a food coma nap. but sometimes late at night, cassian already snoring beside him, the tentacles creep back. these nights, he lights a candle and crawls close to cassian and watches the soft dancing shadows on the wall, like how he would watch the dust and sand over the desert outside NiJedha, and lets the memories of childhood soothe him.

plans spontaneous trips: bodhi, i feel. cassian has his regimented routine because it gives some order to the chaos of war, but bodhi, finally away from the oppressive restrictions of the Empire, makes the most of his new freedom

wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes: bodhi cant cook. he spent most of his adulthood on a cargo ship with no kitchen, or on a base with a mess. he wakes up in his ship in the hangar after dozing off in the middle of fixing something and goes to wake up cassian because hes starving and the cooks are asleep, “please cassian i missed dinner and you make the best pancakes in the galaxy” “1. that was your fault. 2. sucking up will get you no where. 3….. you know what, yes it does, lets go. but only cos i love you” cassian doesnt even notice its the first time hes said it until later, but thats because bodhi is happy groaning while shovelling pancakes at lightspeed and professing his own love for cassian (and his pancakes), so really, theyre even

sends the other unsolicited nudes: not sure if either of them are the type, maaaaaaybe bodhi, but their holos are resistance-issued and probably connected to a common server which could potentially lead to some extremely embarassing situations with certain senior officers

brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt: cassian! baze and chirrut start teaching bodhi how to fight and cassian comes over like “oh i know this!” and theyre like mmhmmmmm, so bodhi and cassian have a go sparring, or trying to. theres a reason cassian is an intelligence officer and carries a blaster because bodhi flattens him in 0.02s. “i thought you were a novice!” “i thought you were an expert!” (theyre not together at this point and then they realise bodhi is fully lying on top of cassian and theyre really very close and they scramble away smiling awkwardly. baze snorts and chirrut sniggers from the background. they know)

comes to a halt outside bakeries/candy shops: bodhi!! cassian didnt really have that kind of thing as a kid, and he was barely a kid for long enough anyway, but bodhi remembers the rare trips, the treats his mother would get them maybe twice or three times a year, and the excitement he always felt, the wonder. he always slows, wistfully looking in. after a few times, cassian notices. bodhi tries to insist its not necessary but cassian insists that it is and drags him inside and spends all the spare credits they have on sweets and pastries

blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit: cassian. he just pulled some stupid and partially unnecesary stunt to save bodhis skin in a battle. bodhi rolls his eyes

killed the guy (also, which hid the body): if its part of the mission, cassian will kill the person and bodhi will help hide the body, but cassian will only kill someone if it is absolutely necessary and avoids it if at all possible. he has already seen and dealt out so much death, he doesnt if he can at all avoid it.

wears the least clothing around the house: bodhi! after the war when they settle down on yavin iv (not far from the damerons), well. yavin iv is a fairly warm planet and jedha was very much not, so bodhi is very used to the cold. in the middle of winter and its -10 degrees and cassian has wool socks, 3+ fluffy jackets and at least 5 blankets, and still feels cold, bodhi is walking around barefoot in a tshirt and pants. (“youre making me cold just looking at you!”) (cassian gets his vindication when summer rolls around and bodhi feels like the entire planet is just a sauna 24/7)

has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason: cassian!!!!! my first thought was bodhi but, i feel like he would have at least vaguely apparent reasoning to be sappy. cassian, on the other hand, internalises pretty much everything, its so hard for most people to know what hes thinking that when he suddenly throws his arms around bodhi and whispers how much he loves him, most people are completely thrown, moments earlier thinking he’d just found a cool pattern in the bottom of his mug or something. at first bodhi is even thrown a little by it, but he soon learns cassians tells. there may be no reason apparent to anyone else, but bodhi always knows.

send me a pairing and ill tell you who does what!

#misskatieleigh #bodhicassian #bassian #sniperpilot #captainpilot #asks #this got so out of hand holy shit #i might just turn these into proper fics omg #so much fun tho omg #otp: smile only for you #fic.liz #filetype:liz #fic #sw fic #fandom: Star Wars #sw: ro

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suchagiantnerd · 6 years ago

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54 Books, 1 Year

2018 was my first full year back at work after my mat leave, and thanks to all the time I spend on the subway, my yearly reading total is back up to over 50 books!

2018 was a dark year, and I made a conscious effort to read more books from authors on the margins of society. The more those of us with privilege take the time to listen to and learn from these voices, the better we’ll be as friends, colleagues and citizens.

You’ll also notice a lot of books about witchcraft and witches in this year’s list. What can I say? Dark times call for resorting to ANYTHING that can help dig us out of our current reality, including putting a hex on Donald Trump.

Trigger Warning: Some of the books reviewed below are about mental illness, suicide, domestic violence, sexual assault, and violence against people of colour, Indigenous people and people in the LGBTQ community.

Here are this year’s mini reviews:

1. The Lottery and Other Stories / Shirley Jackson

Jackson’s short stories were published in the late forties and fifties, but their slow-burning creep factor holds up today. The stories involve normal people doing normal things until something small gives, and we realize something is really wrong here. As you read through the collection, take note of the mysterious man in blue. He appears in about half of the stories, always in the margins of the action. Who is he? I read him as a bit of a trickster figure, bringing chaos and mayhem with him wherever he goes. Other people have read him as the devil himself. Let me know what you think!

2. The Ship / Antonia Honeywell

I was excited to read this YA novel about a giant cruise ship-turned-ark, designed and captained by the protagonist Lalla’s father in a dystopic near future. The premise of the book is great and brings up lots of juicy questions – where is the ship going? How long can the passengers survive together in a confined space? How did Lalla’s father choose who got to board the ship? But the author’s execution was a disappointment and focused far too much on Lalla’s inner turmoil and immaturity.

3. The Hot One: A Memoir of Friendship, Sex and Murder / Carolyn Murnick

My book club read this true crime memoir detailing the intense, adolescent friendship between Carolyn, the author, and Ashley, who was murdered in her home in her early 20s a few years after the girls’ friendship fizzled. Murnick is understandably destroyed by the murder and obsessed with the killer’s trial. The narrative loops back and forth between the trial and the girls’ paths, which diverged sharply after Ashley moved away in high school. Murnick (the self-proclaimed nerdy one) muses on the intricacies of female friendship, growing up under the microscope of the male gaze, and the last weekend she ever spent with Ashley (the hot one). This is an emotional, detailed account of a woman trying her best to bear witness to her friend’s horrific death and to honour who she was in life.

4. The Break / Katherena Vermette

Somebody is brutally attacked on a cold winter night in Winnipeg, and Stella, a young Métis woman and tired new mother is the only witness – and even she isn’t sure what she saw. The police investigation into the attack puts a series of events in motion that make long-buried emotions bubble to the surface and ripple outwards to touch a number of people in the community, including an Indigenous teenager recently released from a youth detention center, one of the investigating officers (a Métis man walking a fine line between two worlds), and an artist. This is a tough read, especially in the era of #MMIW and #MeToo, but all the more important because of it.

5. So You Want to Talk About Race / Ijeoma Oluo

Probably the most important book I read this year, I will never stop recommending this read to anyone and everyone. This is your Allyship 101 syllabus right here, folks. Do you really want to do better and be better as an ally? Then you need to read every chapter closely and start implementing the lessons learned right away. This book will teach you about tone policing, microaggressions and privilege, and how all of those things are harmful to people of colour and other marginalized communities.

6. The Accusation / Bandi

This is a collection of short stories by a North Korean man (written under a pseudonym for his protection as he still lives there). The stories were actually smuggled out of the country for publication by a family friend. The characters in these stories are regular people living regular lives (as much as that is possible in North Korea). What really comes across is the fine line between laughter and tears while living under the scrutiny of a dangerous regime. There are several scenes where people laugh uncontrollably because they can’t cry, and where people start to cry because they can’t laugh. This book offers a rare perspective into a hidden world.

7. Being Jazz: My Life as a (Transgender) Teen / Jazz Jennings

Some of you will be familiar with Jazz via the TLC show about her and her family, “I Am Jazz”. I’d never seen it but was inspired to read the book to gain a better understanding about what coming out as trans as a child is like. Jazz came out to her family at 5 years old (!) and her parents and siblings have had her back from the beginning. If you are still having a tough time understanding that trans women are women, full stop, this book will help get you there.

8. A Field Guide to Getting Lost / Rebecca Solnit

When it comes to the books that gave me “all the feels”, this one tops the 2018 list. Solnit is everything - historian, writer, philosopher, culture lover, explorer. Her mind is always making connections and as you follow her through her labyrinthine thoughts you start to feel connected too. Her words on loss, nostalgia and missing a person/place/time actually made me cry, they were so true. For me, an agnostic leaning towards atheism, she illuminated the magic in the everyday that made me feel more spiritually rooted to life than I have in a long time.

9. I Found You / Lisa Jewell

Lots of weird and bad things seem to happen in British seaside towns, don’t they? This is another psychological thriller, à la “The Girl on the Train” and “Gone Girl”. One woman finds a man sitting on the beach one morning. He has no idea who he is or how he got there. Miles away, another woman wakes up one morning to find her husband has vanished. Is the mystery man on the beach the missing husband? Dive into this page-turner and find out!

10. The Midnight Sun / Cecilia Ekbäck

This novel is the sequel to a historical Swedish noir book I read a few years ago. Though it’s not so much a sequel, as it is a novel taking place in the same setting – Blackasen Mountain in Lapland. This story actually takes place about a hundred years after the first novel does, so it can be read on its own. Ekbäck’s stories dive into the effect of place on people – whether it’s the isolation of a harsh and long winter or the mental havoc caused by the midnight sun on sleep patterns, the people on Blackasen Mountain are always strained and ready to explode. (Oh, and there’s also a bit of the supernatural happening on this mountain too – but just a bit!)

11. After the Bloom / Leslie Shimotakahara

Strained mother-daughter relationships. The PTSD caused by immigration and then being detained in camps in your new home. Fraught romances. Shimotakahara’s novel tackles all of this and more. Taking place in two times – 1980s Toronto and a WWII Japanese internment camp in the California desert – this story of loss, hardship, betrayal and family is both tragic and hopeful.

12. Company Town / Madeline Ashby

In this Canadian dystopian tale, thousands of people live in little cities built on the oil rigs off the coast of Newfoundland. Hwa works as a bodyguard for the family that owns the rigs and is simultaneously trying to protect the family’s youngest child from threats, find out who is killing her sex-worker friends, mourn her brother (who died in a rig explosion), and work through her own self-esteem issues. Phew! If it sounds like too much, it is. I really did like this book, but I think it needed tighter editing and focus.

13. The Power / Naomi Alderman

In the near-future, women and girls all over the world develop the ability to send electrical shocks out of their hands. With this newfound power, society’s gender power imbalance starts to flip. The U.S. military scrambles to try and work this to their advantage. A new religious movement starts to grow. And Tunde, a Nigerian photographer (and a dude!) travels the world, trying to document it all. This is an exciting novel that seriously asks, “what if?” in which many of the key characters cross paths.

14. Milk and Honey / Rupi Kaur

Everyone’s reading it, so I had to too! Kaur’s poems are refreshing and healing, and definitely accessible. This is poetry for the people, for women, for daughters, mothers and sisters. These are poems about how women make themselves small and quiet, about our inner anger, about sacrifice, longing and love.

15. Tell It to the Trees / Anita Rau Badami

In the dead of winter in small-town B.C., the body of big-city writer Anu is found outside of the Dharmas’ house, frozen to death. Anu had been renting their renovated shed, working on a novel in seclusion. As we get to know the Dharmas – angry and controlling Vikram, his quiet and frightened wife Suman, the two children, and the ghost of Vikram’s first wife, Helen, we feel more and more uneasy. Was Anu’s death just a tragic accident, or something else entirely? There is a touch of “The Good Son” in this novel…

16. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life / Jen Sincero

This book was huge last year and my curiosity got the better of me. But I can’t, I just can’t subscribe to this advice! All of this stuff about manifesting whatever you want reeks of privilege and is just “The Secret” repackaged for millennials and Gen-Z. Thank u, next!

17. All the Things We Never Knew: Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness / Sheila Hamilton

Shortly after a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, Hamilton’s husband, David, took his own life after years of little signs and indicators that something wasn’t right. Her memoir, in the aftermath of his death, is a reckoning, a tribute, and a warning to others. In it, she details the fairy tale beginning of their relationship (but even then, there were signs), the birth of their only child, and the rocky path that led to his final choice. Hamilton’s story doesn’t feel exploitative to me. It’s an important piece in the global conversation about mental health and includes lots of facts and statistics too.

18. This Is How It Always Is / Laurie Frankel

This is a beautiful novel about loving your family members for who they are and about the tough choices parents have to make when it comes to protecting their children. Rosie and Penn have five boys (that this modern couple has five children is the most unbelievable part of the plot, frankly), but at five years old, their youngest, Claude, tells the family that he is a girl. Claude changes her name to Poppy, and Rosie and Penn decide to move the whole family to more inclusive Seattle to give Poppy a fresh start in life. Of course, the move has consequences on the other four children as well, and we follow everybody’s ups and downs over the years as they adjust and adapt to their new reality.

19. Dumplin’ / Julie Murphy

While I didn’t love the writing or any of the characters, I do need to acknowledge the importance of this YA novel in showing a fat teenager as happy and confident in who she is. Willowdean Dickson has a job, a best friend and a passion for Dolly Parton. She also catches the attention of cute new kid, Bo, and a sweet summer romance develops between the two (with all of the miscommunications and misunderstandings you’d expect in a YA plot). This is an important book in the #RepresentationMatters movement, and is now a Netflix film if you want to skip the read!

20. Kintu / Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi

This was touted as “the great Ugandan novel” and it did not disappoint! The first part of the novel takes place in 1754, as Kintu Kidda, leader of a clan, travels to the capital of Buganda (modern day Kampala) with his entourage to pledge allegiance to the new Kabaka. During the journey, tragedy strikes, unleashing a curse on Kintu’s descendants. The rest of the novel follows five modern-day Ugandans who are descended from Kintu’s bloodline and find themselves invited to a massive family reunion. As their paths cross and family histories unfold, will the curse be broken?

21. The Child Finder / Rene Denfeld

I bought this at the airport as a quick and thrilling travel read, and that’s exactly what it was. Naomi is a private investigator with a knack for finding missing and kidnapped children. This is because she was once a kidnapped child herself. The plot moves back and forth in time between Naomi’s current case and her own escape and recovery. There was nothing exceptional about this book, but it’s definitely a page-turner.

22. Difficult Women / Roxane Gay

Are the women in Gay’s short stories actually difficult? Or has a sexist, racist world made things difficult for them? I think you know what my answer is. The stories are at times beautiful - like the fairy tale about a woman made of glass, and at times violent and visceral – like a number of stories about hunting and butchering. Women are everything and more.

23. My Education / Susan Choi

I suggested this novel to my book club and I will always regret it. This was my least favourite read of the year. I thought it was going to be about a sexy and inappropriate threesome or love triangle between a student, her professor, and his wife. Instead it had a few very unsexy sex scenes and hundreds and hundreds of pages about the minutiae of academic life. I can’t see anyone enjoying this book except English professors and grad students.

24. Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities / Rebecca Solnit

This series of essays was a balm to my soul after Ford won the provincial election. It reminded me that history is full of steps forward and steps back, and though things look bleak right now, there are millions of us around the world trying to make positive changes in big and little ways as we speak.

25. The Woman in Cabin 10 / Ruth Ware

Another novel in the vein of “The Woman on the Train”, that is, a book featuring a young, female, unreliable narrator. Lo knows what she saw – or does she? There was a woman in the now empty Cabin 10 – or was there? And also, Lo hasn’t been eating or sleeping. But she’s been drinking a lot and not taking her medication. I’m kind of done with this genre – anyone else?

26. My Brilliant Friend / Elena Ferrante

After hearing many intelligent women praise this novel (the first in a four-part series), my book club decided to give it a try. I didn’t fall in love with it, but I was sufficiently intrigued by the intense and passionate friendship between Lila and Lenu, two young girls growing up in post-war Naples, that I will likely read the whole series. Many claim that no writer has managed to capture the intricacy of female friendship the way that Ferrante has.

27. The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard / Kristin Schell

This is Schell’s non-fiction account of how she started Austin’s turquoise table movement (which has now spread further into other communities). Schell was feeling disconnected from her immediate community, so she painted an old picnic table a bright turquoise, moved it into her front yard, and started sitting out there some mornings, evenings and weekends - sometimes alone, and sometimes with her family. Neighbours started to gather for chats, snacks, card games, and more. People got to know each other on a deeper level and friendships bloomed. This book is a nice reminder that small actions matter. A small warning though – Schell is an evangelical Christian, and I didn’t know this before diving in. There is a focus on Christianity in the book, and though it’s not quite preachy, it’s very in-your-face.

28. Sing, Unburied, Sing / Jesmyn Ward

This was hands-down my favourite novel of the year. It’s a lingering and haunting look at the generational trauma carried by the descendants of those who were enslaved and lived during the Jim Crow era. One part road trip novel, one part ghost story, the plot follows a fractured, multi-racial family as they head into the broken heart of Mississippi to pick up the protagonist’s father, who has just been released from prison.

29. Full Disclosure / Beverley McLachlin

This is the first novel by Canada’s former Chief Justice, Beverley McLachlin. As someone who works in the legal industry and has heard her speak, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this. But, with all due respect to one of the queens, the book was very ‘meh’. The plot was a little over the top, the characters weren’t sufficiently fleshed out, and I felt that the backdrop of the Robert Pickton murders was somewhat exploitative and not done respectfully. Am I being more critical of this novel than I might otherwise be because the author is so intelligent? Likely yes, so you can take this review with a grain of salt.

30. The Long Way Home / Louise Penny

This is the 10th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series. As ever, I fell in love with her descriptions of Quebec’s beauty, the small town of Three Pines, and the delicious food the characters are always eating. Penny’s books are the definition of cozy.

31. In the Skin of a Lion / Michael Ondaatje

Ondaatje has the gift of writing novels that read like poetry, and this story is no exception. Taking place in Toronto during construction of the Don Valley bridge and the RC Harris water treatment plant, the plot follows a construction worker, a young nun, an explosives expert, a business magnate and an actress as they maneuver making a life for themselves in the big city and changing ideas about class and gender.

32. The Story of a New Name / Elena Ferrante

This is the second novel in Ferrante’s four-part series about the complicated life-long friendship between Lila and Lenu. In this installment, the women navigate first love, marriage, post-secondary education, first jobs and new motherhood.

33. The Happiness Project / Gretchen Rubin

In this memoir / self-help book, Rubin studies the concept of happiness and implements a new action or practice each month of the year that is designed to increase her happiness levels. Examples include practicing gratitude, going to bed earlier, making time for fun and learning something new. Her journey inspired me to make a few tweaks to my life during a difficult time, and I do think they’ve made me more appreciative of what I have (which I think is a form of happiness?)

34. The Virgin Suicides / Jeffrey Eugenides

I loved the film adaptation of this novel when I was a teenager, but I’d never actually read it until my book club selected it. Eugenides paints a glimmering, ethereal portrait of the five teenaged Lisbon sisters living a suffocating half-life at the hands of their overly protective and religious parents. The story is told through the eyes of the neighbourhood boys who longed for them from a distance and learned about who they were through snatched telephone calls, passed notes and one tragic suburban basement party.

35. Time’s Convert / Deborah Harkness

This is a supernatural fantasy novel that takes place in the same universe of witches, vampires and daemons as Harkness’ All Souls trilogy. The plot follows the romance between centuries-old vampire Marcus, who came of age during the American Civil War, and human Phoebe, who begins her own transformation into a vampire so that she and Marcus can be together forever.

36. The Saturday Night Ghost Club / Craig Davidson

Were you a fan of the TV show “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” If yes, this novel is for you. Davidson explores the blurred line between real-life tragedy and ghost story over the course of one summer in 1980s Niagara Falls. A coming-of-age novel that’s somehow sweet, funny and sad all at once, this story delves into the aftershocks of trauma and the way we heal the cracks in families.

37. Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right / Jamie Glowacki

I hoped this was the book for us, but I don’t think it was. Some of the tips were great, but others really didn’t work for us. The other issue is that the technique in this book is much better suited to kids staying at home with a caregiver, not kids in daycare.

38. The Witch Doesn’t Burn in This One / Amanda Lovelace

This is a collection of poetry about women’s anger, women’s long memories and strength in sisterhood. It’s accessible, emotional and a bit of a feminist rallying cry. As someone who is obsessed with the Salem witch trials, I also loved the historical backdrop to the poems.

39. The Rules of Magic / Alice Hoffman

I love to read seasonally, and this prequel to “Practical Magic” was a perfect October book. Remember Jet and Franny, the old, quirky aunts from the movie? This novel describes their upbringing, along with that of their brother Vincent, as the three siblings discover their powers and try to out-maneuver the Owens family curse.

40. Witch: Unleased. Untamed. Unapologetic. / Lisa Lister

This book has a very sleek, appealing cover. Holding it made me feel magical. Reading it really disappointed me. From Lister’s almost outright transphobia to her unedited, repetitive style, this was a huge disappointment and I don’t recommend it.

41. The Death of Mrs. Westaway / Ruth Ware

I liked this novel a lot more than Ware’s other novel, “The Woman in Cabin 10”. Crumbling English manor homes, long-buried family evils and people trapped together by snowstorms are my jam.

42. Weirdo / Cathi Unsworth

Another British seaside town, another grisly murder. Jumping back and forth between a modern-day private investigation and the parental panic around cults and Satanism in the 1980s, Unsworth unpacks the darkness lurking within a small community and the way society’s outcasts are often used as scapegoats. The creep factor grows as the story unfolds.

43. Mabon: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for the Autumn Equinox / Diana Rajchel

And so begins my witchy education. I have to admit, I really liked learning about the historical pagan celebrations and superstitions surrounding harvest time. I also liked reading about spells and incantations… ooooOOOOoooo!

44. From Here to Eternity: Travelling the World to Find the Good Death / Caitlin Doughty

In North America, we are so removed from death that we are unequipped to process it when someone close to us dies. But this doesn’t have to be the case. In this non-fiction account, Doughty, a mortician based in L.A., travels the world learning about the business of death, the cultural customs around mortality, and the rituals of care and compassion for the deceased in ten different places. It seems that the closer we are to death, the less we’ll fear it, and the better-equipped we’ll be to process loss and grief in healthy ways.

45. Samhain: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Halloween / Diana Rajchel

Did you know that Samhain is actually pronounced “Sow-en”? I didn’t until I read this book, and felt very intelligent indeed, when later, while watching “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” on Netflix, the head witch pronounced the word as “Sam-hain”, destroying the writers’ credibility in one instant. I am a witch now.

46. See What I Have Done / Sarah Schmidt

This novel is a retelling of the Lizzie Borden murders, illuminated through four characters – Lizzie herself, the Borden’s maid Bridget, Lizzie’s sister, and a mysterious man hired the day before the murders by Lizzie’s uncle to intimidate Mr. Borden (one of the murder victims). I knew very little about the murders before reading this book, but this version of the tale strongly suggests that Lizzie really is the murderer. Unhinged, childlike, selfish and manipulative, I hated her so much and felt awful for everyone that had to live in her orbit.

47. The Nature of the Beast / Louise Penny

In the 11th installment of Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series, she sets the story up with a parallel to the boy who cried wolf and introduces us to her first killer without a soul. Crimes of passion and greed abound in Penny’s universe, but a crime of pure, cold evil? This is a first.

48. How Are You Going to Save Yourself? / J.M. Holmes

This is a powerful collection of short stories about what it’s like to be a Black man in America right now. It’s about Black male friendship, fathers and sons, outright racism and dealing with a lifetime of microaggressions. Holmes makes some risky and bold decisions with his characters, even playing into some of the harmful stereotypes about Black men while subverting some of the others. This book really stayed with me. One disturbing story in particular I kept turning around and around in my mind for days afterward.

49. Split Tooth / Tanya Tagaq

This is a beautiful story about a young Inuit girl growing up in Nunavut in the 1970s, combining gritty anecdotes about bullying, friendship, family and addiction with Inuit myth, legend, and the magic of the Arctic. The most evocative and otherworldly scenes in the novel took place under the Northern Lights and left me kind of mesmerized.

50. Motherhood / Sheila Heti

Heti’s book is a work of fiction styled as a memoir, during which the protagonist, nearing her 40s, weighs the pros and cons of having a baby. I’ve maybe never felt so “seen” by an author before. I agonized over the decision about whether to have a baby for years before finally making a decision. The unsatisfying, but freeing conclusion that both the author and I came to is that for many of us there is no right choice (but no wrong choice either).

51. The Mistletoe Murder and Other Stories / P.D. James

This is a short collection of James’ four “Christmas-y” mysteries published over the course of a number of years. It was a perfect cozy read to welcome the holiday season.

52. The Christmas Sisters / Sarah Morgan

Morgan’s story is a Hallmark holiday movie in book form. A family experiencing emotional turmoil at Christmas? Check. Predictable romances, old and new? Check. A beautiful, festive setting? Check. (In this case, it’s a rustic inn nestled in the Scottish Highlands). This novel is fluff, but the most delightful kind.

53. Jonny Appleseed / Joshua Whitehead

Jonny is a Two-Spirit Ojibway-Cree person who leaves the reservation in his early 20s to escape his community’s homophobia and make it in the city. Making ends meet as a cybersex worker, the action begins when he has to scrape together enough cash to make it home to the “rez” (and all the loose ends he left behind there) for a funeral. The emotional heart of the novel are Jonny’s relationships with his kokum (grandmother) and his best friend / part-time lover Tias.

54. Yule: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for the Winter Solstice / Susan Pesznecker

Do you folks believe that I’m a witch now? I am, okay? I even spoke an incantation to Old Mother Winter while staring into the flame of a candle after reading this book.

55. Half Spent Was the Night: A Witches’ Yuletide / Ami McKay

Old-timey witches? At Christmas time? At an elaborate New Year’s Eve masked ball? Be still my heart. This novella was just what I wanted to read in those lost days between Christmas and New Year’s. You’ll appreciate it even more if you’ve already read Ami McKay’s previous novel “The Witches of New York”, as it features the same characters.

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kweebtrash · 8 years ago

Text

Celebrate

YoongixReader (M)

Words: 6k+

Features: Bestfriend!AU, squirting, sex toys Summary: Yoongi celebrates his best friends birthday and gives her naughty presents that spark a night of debauchery. Mostly pwop (theres a small plot lol) A/N: Lmao this title sucks, but I was supposed to finish this for Yoongi’s birthday but my lazy ass did not. But I’ve been working on this for weeks and I’m really happy about it! I tried to mimic first-time awkwardness a bit and general bestie fun. Hope Ya’ll like it! Also still need a beta! Inspired by x

“Hey, I’m here.”

You pinned your cell phone between your ear and shoulder scoffing as you held out a dress in front of you. “What?! I’m not even ready yet!”

Yoongi’s irritated voice came from the other line. “Ready? For what? We’re not even going anywhere! You’re the one who said you didn’t want to go out because of work tomorrow.”

“I know, I know!” You replied, annoyed at the scolding he was giving you. You yanked a shirt from your closet, holding it up to your chest and examining how it looked in the full-length mirror, before tossing it aside. “I want to at least look presentable.”

“Y/N, I’ve seen you in sweatpants, bent over a toilet with vomit in your hair. I think we can get over presentable.” You heard the sound of a rustling bag and a small grunt before Yoongi continued. “I’m coming upstairs, bye!”

Rolling your eyes, you pressed the red end call button and tossed your cell phone onto the bed. There was no point in arguing with your best friend. He was just about as stubborn as you were. The true reason you wanted to look nice was because, well for one, he was coming over and two, he always looked so stylish. Yoongi’s style was fashion forward yet effortless, looking like he stepped out of an issue of GQ. He was a pretty boy in every sense of the word. Whenever you would hang out with him people would turn their heads and stare. Even high school girls would giggle obnoxiously and take pictures. You always felt like a hobo next to him so you compensated by trying to dress to the nines every time you two were together.

But Yoongi was right- you had said that you just wanted to stay home for your 21st birthday. It had fallen on a weekday this year and of course, you had to get up and go to work the next day. Besides, you and Yoongi’s 6 other friends would be dragging you out on the weekend to a club for a night of debauchery. You couldn’t do it twice in one week, though. Yoongi, however, continuously insisted that you do something on your actual birthday day and had planned something. You just hoped it wasn’t anything too extravagant. Sighing, you trudged to the front door to unlock it so Yoongi would have no problem getting in, before retreating back to your room to find something else to wear. Something that was more relaxed and casual and wasn’t your pj pants or didn’t have a one-year-old pizza sauce stain on them.

Making your way to the dresser you bent down to open the last drawer where you stashed your dozens of leggings, trying to decide between plain black or black with patterns. A very tough choice indeed.

“Well damn the full moon is out tonight!” You heard him say. He slapped the lace elastic band of your thong and laughed. You jumped up, yelping and covering your backside, shocked that he had come up so quickly.

“Dammit, Yoongi! Cut it out!”

He chuckled and sat down on the bed, leaning back on his arms. “Lace panties? Is that all for me?” He smirked.

You rolled your eyes at his crude joke. Your comfort barrier was indeed lowered when he was around you. Both of you had gotten sick and tired of people always asking you two if you were a couple. Yoongi of course, being the little shit he is, just took to saying yes, purposefully saying sexually explicit things and flirting with you just to make the nosy people uncomfortable. For years it had made you laugh, and it still did, but sometimes it made your cheeks flush and your heart flutter just a little bit too much to your liking. You still joked with him nonetheless, covering up your feelings and hoping you weren’t too obvious.

“Oh yeah, definitely for you, daddy.” You chuckled and shimmed into your selected leggings.

“Oh, I’m daddy now, huh? That’s a new one.”

He smiled from ear to ear, that same dorky smile that never failed to make you laugh. Your eyes met in the mirror attached to your dresser, holding each other’s gaze for a moment. You noticed his eyes trailing lower, resting at the flirtatious lace bra you wore. There was only a small space between your breast, the padded cups pushing them up and together. You couldn’t really blame him for looking as it made your tits look damn good. But did he really have to stare so intently, especially when he was biting his lip in concentration? God, that always killed you. “You gonna stop drooling over there, loverboy?” You asked, pulling a tank top over your torso, before giving his shoulder a hard whap to snap him out of it.

He blinked quickly, crashing back down to reality. A rather nervous giggle escaped him. “Took you long enough to pick an outfit. I was about to fall asleep!”

“Oh, you liar! You were staring at me with that fuckboy look on your face.”

He put his hand over his chest feigning being hurt. “I take offense! Maybe you won’t get your present.”

“Present?” Your ears perked up at the sound of the word and your eyes caught sight of the bag by his feet. “Yoongi, you didn’t have to!”

A smirk crossed his face. “Whatever. You say that every year but I know you’re expecting something.”

“I am not!” You snatched the bag from beside him with an excited grin on your face. “You really didn’t have to, though.”

Yoongi shrugged nonchalantly. “You always get me nice stuff for my birthday so I feel like I should go above and beyond for you.”

He was literally the sweetest person (when he wanted to be anyway). Only he would go out of his way to do something so nice for you. You were stunned at his thoughtfulness. It was the reason why you loved him so much. Love-that word lingered in your thoughts as you pulled out the messily wrapped box from the bag. You fingers shook slightly as you peeled the wrapper away, eyes turning wide when the present came into view.

“YOONGI!” you screamed, tossing the box at him.

He threw his head back, cackling while still trying to defend himself from your attacks. You jumped onto him, playfully slapping his shoulders. “You got me a damn vibrator?!”

“Yeah! Then-” he tried to catch his breath from all the laughter. “Then you can stop being so damn grumpy and violent all the time!” He grabbed your wrists and pinned them to your sides while you straddled his chest.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe you!” You struggled against his hold trying to shield him from seeing the rush of color that now decorated your cheeks and tips of your ears.

“But wait-!” He said dramatically. “There’s more!”

Rolling your eyes, you dug your knees into his rib cage trying to get him to let go. “You really are asking for it, aren’t you?” You growled.

He coughed, letting your hands go and tapping your thigh signaling his defeat. “It’s your 21st birthday! Live it up a little! Destress, fuck yourself senseless because we all know your past boyfriends-and girlfriend- haven’t.”

Well…he got you there. You hadn’t had the best string of relationships in the past couple of years. Everything happened during high school so it wasn’t like those were real relationships anyway. Just a couple of kids pretending they were adults. Awkwardly exploring each other’s body was cute for a minute but getting older meant you were missing out on something good. Lately, you hadn’t really had time to yourself since you and Yoongi had gotten the job at the production studio. Not to mention your tiny pocket rocket had been on its last leg after years of abuse. Maybe the stupid vibrator wasn’t such a bad gift after all. But you weren’t going to let him know that. Now way in hell.

“C’mon, look at the rest of the gifts. They’re good. I promise.” He said with a devilish smirk which only meant that you were in for more trouble. With a sigh, you slid off him and grabbed the bag from the floor. Digging through the excessive amount of tissue paper you found 3 cheesy pornos, a tiny packet of clitoral stimulation gel, and a pair of neon green glow-in-the-dark sex dice. You gave him what had got to be your best “what the absolute fuck” face and it just restarted another fit of laughter. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes as he wiped them away and tried to regain his composure.

“Okay, okay so the website I got this off of had this special- free shipping with surprise gifts. Surprise!”

Your face remained the same, unamused by his laughing fits. He took the dice from your hands and rolled them on the floor. “Don’t you wanna-” he looked to see what each die had landed on. “Lick foot? Oooh that’s sexy right?”

He reached his sock clad foot out to poke your tummy gently and your serious facade was broken. “You are the absolute worse, you know that?” You chuckled and waved his foot away from you. You decided to join in on the fun by picking out one of the DVDs and giving it the once over. “Want to watch one of these things and see how awkward and fake it is?”

He sat up and shrugged. “Why the hell not? We can order pizza, my treat, birthday girl.”

“Hell yeah, it better be your treat.” You kissed his cheek appreciatively, grateful for his thoughtful albeit absurd gifts. It was already turning out to be much better than going out to a bar and getting annoyed by strangers. You headed over to the decent sized flat screen opposite of your bed and selected the DVD called “Island Paradise.” You opened the port on your Playstation 4 and set the DVD in, the sight of Yoongi leaving the room momentarily caught in your peripheral vision. You hoped to god there weren’t any more sex toy surprises but knowing Yoongi there was probably a stripper waiting to pop out a cake somewhere.

You heard him rustling through the kitchen but you continued setting up the movie, grabbing your controller and hitting X. “Yoongi, this cinematic masterpiece is about to begin!” you called out.

You turned towards the doorway about ready to go find him in the kitchen but a small flame stopped you. The first few notes of happy birthday filled your eardrums as Yoongi appeared holding a simple cupcake with a candle stuck in the frosting in one hand and a bottle of your favorite liquor in the other. A huge smiled crossed your face as you rushed over to him, wrapping him in a tight hug as he finished singing.

“You big dork” You giggled, wiping your misting eyes.

He placed a kiss on your forehead. “C’mon, make a wish and blow out the candle.”

You bit your lip as you thought about what to wish for. Feeling his gaze on you, you looked up at Yoongi, holding his stare for a moment as the wish crossed your mind. I want Yoongi to be in my life forever. You blew out the candle with a smile, content with your wish.

“Alright now let’s party!” He said, handing the cupcake to you then opening the bottle of liquor.

“We haven’t even ordered the pizza yet!” You protested as you took the melting candle out of the frosting before the wax could contaminate it.

Yoongi took a swig from the bottle before plopping himself in front of the tv on the bed. “Ahh! I will now. I know your order by heart anyway.” He fished his phone from his jean pocket and held the bottle in front of him for you to take.

You grabbed it as you sat down on the floor, careful as not to drop the precious liquid. You took a long harsh sip and turned your attention to the tv, watching the overly dramatic actors think it was somehow ok to fuck on a beach. “You know-” You coughed and rubbed at the burning sensation that remained in your chest from the alcohol. “Fucking on the beach doesn’t even sound appealing. Like sand gets in your crevices, it’s hot, the sun is beaming down on you, no thanks.”

You handed the bottle back to him as he slid down to join you on the floor. “I think it’s just the thrill of public sex that gets people off, it’s not really the sun and sand.”

You nodded in agreement as you grabbed your cupcake and peeled back the wrapper. “True, true.”

Just as you were about to take a bite, Yoongi slapped your hand sending the cupcake straight into your face and smearing frosting everywhere. You were stunned, unable to process what that little shit had done.

“It’s tradition.” he said with a devilish smirk. You wiped the smeared frosting off your face collecting as much as you could in your hand and launching your attack on Yoongi. He yelped and tried to keep you at bay but you shoved him to the floor determined to get your payback.

“You bastard!” you laughed and slapped the frosting across his cheek and nose.

“Ack! Now it’s all over me!”

“Good, you deserve it!”

He shook his head and chuckled, grabbing your wrist and pulling him close to his body. “You got something on your facccceeeee~!” He teased, sticking his tongue out to try and lick the frosting off your cheek.

“Noooooo!” You cried out, trying to keep him at bay. He released your wrist but instead grabbed a hold of your sides to tickle you. Your whole body spasmed and jolted, wriggling around to try and escape his torture. “Stop! Yoongi!”

He was in control now, pinning you down to the floor and wriggling his fingers down your sides, up to your armpits and neck. You tried with all your might to keep him at bay but spent most of the time trying to deflect his tickles and protect your body. Your laughing was uncontrollable and you could barely get a word out.

“Say uncle!”

You gasped for air, turning your head towards his to say your defeat but you were unaware of just how close he was. Your lips met his sending a jolt of electricity through you. Your eyes fluttered open to see the shock on his face melt into complete comfort. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip, collecting some of the frosting to pull into his mouth.

“U-um….Yoongi…” you stammered.

His hand instantly went to the back of his neck, rubbing it nervously. “S-sorry, Y/N…” Though his voice seemed steady his expression was that of a saddened puppy. The silence quickly turned awkward. All your could hear was the thundering of your heart and the harsh nervous swallows of Yoongi. You retrieved a couple tissues from the box on the bedside table, handing some to him before cleaning your face.

“I’m sorry…” You whispered.

“You think of me like a brother, don’t you?” The question caught you off guard, especially when he looked you dead in the eye, awaiting your answer.

“No? I mean, yes? I mean, I don’t-well…like…I’d fuck you if you want?” Your voice squeaked at the last part of that sentence, flabbergasted that you would even admit such a thing.

“What?”

“WHAT?” you repeated his question louder as if that was somehow was going to erase what you had just said. Yes, you were close to Yoongi but you didn’t exactly think of him in a brotherly way either. However, there was always the thought that if you two did indeed get together that something horrible would happen and your friendship would be ruined. You had heard the horror stories about people being miserable after breaking up with their best friends and the friendship never being the same again. But deep in the recesses of your mind, you knew that if the opportunity ever presented itself you might take the plunge. Was that opportunity happening now? Were you really ready for it? Your mind raced a mile a minute, fiddling between pros and cons.

“Y/N, you’re so strange you know that?” he said with a dry laugh. “I feel like you’ve been driving me crazy since high school but I never wanted to be the guy who just became your friend to fuck you. I care about you and it’s so easy to be around you. I could be myself…But I couldn’t help but hate when you were with other people. I tried to hide it for a long time, feeling mocked whenever someone would ask if he were together and you would immediately say no. I just always assumed you never felt that way towards me.”

You shook your head quickly. “It’s there, Yoongi. I was just always afraid of being with my best friend and ruining what we have. What if something happened and we ended up hating each other? I couldn’t stand that.” You wrapped your arms around him tight stifling back tears as your mind played all the worst case scenarios of Yoongi not being in your life. His arms followed suit, keeping you in place against his body.

��I wouldn’t dream of it, Y/N. We’ve been attached for years. I think you’re stuck with me.”

“That doesn’t seem so bad, I guess…” you said with a playful roll of your eyes.

“Sound a little more enthusiastic, why don’t ya?!” he replied. “I’m not drunk enough for these feelings”

“Who the fuck are you kidding, bro?” You reached for the liquor bottle again, taking another long harsh swig. Yoongi followed suit never even showing a sign of discomfort from the high alcohol content.

“Sooo…” he began.

“Sooo?”

“Are we like a thing now?”

A thing? A thing-thing? A really real together together thing?. It was still a little strange to think about but the butterflies in your stomach were already revealing your true feelings. “Maybe we can take it one step at a time?” you offered.

Yoongi nodded. “Ok, one step like…kissing?”

“Kissing?” You chewed at your bottom lip nervously. “Kissing’s cool.”

“Yeah?” He asked, suddenly getting closer. His lips hovered above yours just long enough for you to let out a whimper of approval. He was instantly on you then, cradling your neck in his hands as he laid soft languid kisses on your lips and making your heart skip a beat. You hadn’t expected him to be that gentle yet you relished in the feeling. All the tension in your body slipped away as you relaxed against him, trailing your hands down his sides to rest at his hips. Parting your lips, you let your tongue slide out to greet his, earning a satisfied grunt from him. Your tongues danced together in a chaotic rhythm of ups and downs and swirls that labored your breathing. He cocked his head to the side, deepening the kiss further as you found yourself slowly falling onto your back. The cheap carpet beneath scratched at your skin, digging in as Yoongi settled between your thighs.

His hands had released their hold on your neck and instead took up residence in your own hands. Your fingers entwined, locked together in a hard embrace as neither of you wanted to let go. He slid both pairs of hairs to rest beside your head, keeping your body arched against his. He pulled away then allowing air to refill your lungs, though your head was still angled towards him waiting for the kiss to continue. You heard his low chuckle as he booped your nose gently.

“I like these baby steps.” he said.

You looked down at the minimal space between your bodies. The crotch of his jeans were flush against your thin leggings. “Maybe….maybe another baby step?”

Yoongie raised an eyebrow. “Like?”

“Like…I don’t know…” You winced as the words flew out of your mouth. “A hot makeout and dry humping session like some dumb teenagers in a car?”

He pushed back his hair and laughed. “That’s not even close to a baby step!”

‘I know, I know! I…if you don’t want to we don’t have too. I don’t even know what I’m saying…” You pulled your hands away to cover your face that was now a wonderful shade of crimson.

He took your hands in his once again and kissed them both. “We know each other so it only makes sense that we’re more comfortable with one another. Maybe it won’t be so bad to skip around a bit. It’s not like we have to get to know each other.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah…you’re right.” He always had a way of making your feel better.

“Now, get on the bed.” He commanded, pulling his weight off you so you could slide out from beneath him and crawl into the bed, making sure your ass was on full display for him. The fabric of your leggings stretched against the expanse of your ass, making it more see through and showing off the outline of your thong. You settled into the mattress, satisfied with your cheeky antics, especially when you saw the predatory look in Yoongi’s eyes.

He stood up, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and yanked it over his head easily, leaving him in just his tank top and fitted jeans. He made his way onto the bed reclaiming his place between your thighs, forcing one of your legs around him to rest more comfortably against your center. The heat had risen to your cheeks again and you wanted to look away out of sheer embarrassment.

“What?” He chuckled, looking down at you.

Your voice dropped down to a whisper. “I always get nervous and giddy and laugh awkwardly when I do stuff like this. It takes a bit for me to really relax and get into it. I’m sorry if I mess it up.”

“You’re not messing it up. What’s fucking without a little fun? If it’s all serious then it gets boring.” He assured you.

Your hand cupped his cheek gently and he turned to kiss your palm, his signature grin crossing his face. “You always make me feel better.”

“I can make you feel good in more ways than one.” He replied in a sultry tone.

Your hands slipped down his back resting just underneath the hem of his tank top. “Oh really? Prove it then, Min Yoongi. I dare you.” Your challenge was playful but his expression was nothing but. A dark lustfulness filled his eyes.

“Don’t ask for something you can’t handle.” He whispered, catching your earlobe between his teeth.

Your entire body felt like it was on a fire as a lush warmth crept over you, your mind dangling on that slight threat. You had never seen this side of Yoongi before. Normally, he was a normal sleepy goofball but this Yoongi was electric. Your nervousness ebbed away, replaced with brazen confidence. “That so, pretty boy?” You teased, grabbing a handful of his ass.

He ground his hips into yours, the denim rubbing hard against your mound, eliciting a ragged groan. “Y/N, I’m serious.”

“Do it again…please.“

You could feel his eyes burning into you even though yours were closed, your head thrown back against the pillows. His hips rolled against you again as his tongue traced the muscle in your neck before his teeth sunk in. Your nails mimicked his teeth, digging into the flesh of his lower back to gain more friction. Yoongi decorated your skin in a haphazard pattern of bruises sending shivers down your spine. Your hips came to life, shifting upwards as you came to meet his with every roll. Soft pants shared the space between you as his hands roamed the expanse of your chest, cupping your breasts. His lips never left your neck even when you turned to try and capture his lips in another kiss. He denied you if only for a moment, choosing to occupy his actions with sliding your tank top up and over your head.

A mischievous grin spread across his face. Yoongi’s thumbs grazed against your nipples through the thin lace of your bra, bringing them to pert peaks. His bottom lip was now caught between his teeth as he watched and waited for your reactions. You couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in the devious mind of his but your answer seemed to come in the form of his own question.

“Will you let me do a little bit more than grinding?”

“Depends.” You smirked.

He lowered himself again, slightly hovering above you as his mouth took up residence around your nipple, tonguing it through the fabric while a free hand trailed down your stomach drifting lower and lower until you were literally in the palm of his hand. Your back arched up into his lust filled actions, feeling a familiar ache throughout your lower half.

“Fuck…”You breathed out. Your hand snaked its way into his soft hair, pulling it slightly as you tried to keep him as close as possible. Yoongi groaned, sending vibrations through your sensitive bud while his hand worked its way into a stroking motion, the edge of his palm brushing against your clit. The tips of his fingers pressed against your entrance through the layers of fabric. Your hips were flying at a faster pace desperate to get as much contact as possible, your toes clenching around the bed sheets. His name left your lips in a loud moan. He finally spoke again, his breath tickling the wetness he had left behind on your nipple.

“Shit…if you keep saying my name like that I won’t last much longer.”

You exhaled deeply and chuckled. “Hmm, that all you got then?”

“You’re going to keep challenging me?” he asked quizzically.

You sat up enough to get your hands behind your back to unclasp your bra, tossing it to the side and letting your breasts fall free. His stunned expression made you laugh to yourself as you trailed kisses up his neck making your way to his ear. You slipped your tongue out to trace his earlobe, pulling it into your mouth for a rough nibble. In the distance, you could hear a knock on the door. “Yoongi~” You cooed.

His eyes fluttered open as he bit his lip. “What is it, baby?”

“I think the pizza’s here.” You smirked.

Yoongi tossed his head back and groaned, getting up from the bed to answer the door seeing as he was the only one still mostly clothed. You chuckled as you watched him leave in frustration, you eyes somehow trailing to the corner of your bed where the forgotten vibrator remained. Curiously, you picked it up, reading the description on the back before pulling it out. It was a slim purple glittery stick with a slanted head. A simple button at the end of the handle controlled the vibrations. You pressed it once, watching it come to life in your hands. You pressed it once more, increasing the speed over and over until it was viciously and rather loudly vibrating in your hands.

Yoongi came back then, practically shouting, “Do you know how awkward it is trying to give someone a tip with a raging boner?!”

You laughed and held out the vibrator for him to see. “Look at I! This thing’s a menace!”

He took it from your hands and clicked the button until it was back at it’s lowest setting. “That’s why you start off slow. Do you want to try it out? It is your gift after all.”

He trailed the toy up your thighs, grazing it up and around your center before trailing it down the other thigh.

“Ahh…”You whimpered. “Really?But…”

“We’d have to get rid of these first.” He said plucking at the waistband of your leggings. You bit your lip and nodded, lifting your hips so he could slide your leggings off. He pulled both your leggings and thong off, tossing them to the floor. You watched as his breath caught in his throat as your sex was finally revealed. Though you wanted to keep your legs shut so he would stop staring, you let your thighs fall apart just a bit, your wetness gleaming in the light of the bedside table lamp. Yoongi looked up at you finally putting a stop to his staring. “Close your eyes, ok? And keep them closed.”

You obeyed him, grateful to shield yourself from the knowledge of his prying eyes. You heard him moving around making you wonder for the umpteenth time what he was up too. Suddenly your thighs were pushed further apart, a cool wetness decorating your clit. You gasped as a tingling sensation overwhelmed you. Instantly, your hand went to cover your mouth to abstain from letting out any more embarrassing noises. You thought it was Yoongi’s tongue on your clit but you soon found out that it was busy licking around the tender flesh of your inner thigh. The cool head of the vibrator was the one that met with your clit, rubbing slow tantric circles around it. The dull hum of the vibrations filled your ears as the smooth surface traveled from your opening upwards, teasing your folds and around your clit at the masterful hands of Yoongi.

You body jolted, each pulsation titillating your nerves. Everything felt you heightened though you didn’t know why. Your muscles were tensing with need and you struggled to keep a hold of yourself. Just when the sensation was at its highest, it would slip away like an erotic and torturous wave. He would slide the head of the toy lower keeping it at the rim of your entrance. And though you wanted to plunge your hips down onto it, a harsh bite warned you not to. Yoongi laid his forearm across your waist keeping you pinned to the mattress as he continued to watch your legs squirm around him. Though your eyes were still closed you could feel his gaze burning into you especially when he held just the very tip of the vibe to the tip of your clit eliciting the most whorish moan you never fathomed making.

“That’s it. That’s exactly what I want to hear.” He whispered against your sweat dampened skin. The words stuck to you, imprinting you with a dominance you never expected from your best friend. Your body easily reacted to his arching in eagerness as you teetered on the edge of an orgasm. You couldn’t believe that this little toy was driving you insane, or was it really Yoongi himself; his sultry words, the deep tone to his voice, the horrid teasing that culminated into finally sliding the head of the vibrator inside yet pulling it away just as quickly when you groaned that you were going to cum. His bites turned into hot open mouth kisses against your lower lips. His tongue greedily lapped at your throbbing bud exciting every last nerve within you.

Your hands were desperately clawing at his hair, the muscles int your lower half tensing. The vibrations were angled right against your sensitive spot making your toes curl instantly.

The vibrator hushed into silence. The half-moon indentations on the palm of your hands started to fade as your fingers unfurled from the tense fist you had on his hair. Your ragged breaths slowed though your rage was building as you wondered why he hadn’t let you cum. You opened your eyes to see him licking the vibrator clean. “I’m sorry I’m so selfish, Y/N. But I wanted to be inside you when you cum.”

Your throat closed up. No words came out as you filled the room with a stunned silence. Yoongi didn’t seem to notice the effect his words had on you. He busied himself with finally peeling away his clothes, the prominent outline of his cock that was once trapped within the confines of his jeans now springing free. You stared openly, entranced by the outline of his body being revealed. He had seen you in every state of undress but his body remained mostly a mystery. Seeing him bare before you had your heart beat skipping. He slipped away from the bed and made his way to the dresser. He knew exactly where you kept your stash of condoms thanks to your countless stories about your previous sexual encounters. You realized he listened patiently and with a heavy heart, unable to fulfill his fantasy of being with you. But that was all coming to a head now.

Yoongi returned with a condom, handing it over to you. “Put it on,” he commanded, his voice drenched in lust. You looked up at him, feigning innocence as you instead kissed the head of his cock. Your kisses started as gentle and soft but escalated into sensual licks up his shaft. Each vein skirted across the plains of your tongue. You could head Yoongi’s breathing increase, his hand gripping the headboard so tightly it was shaking. His hips tried to remain still even though he wanted to grab your head and throat-fuck you raw. You looked up at him as you swallowed down most of his shaft.

His breath stilled, a moan getting caught in his throat. You pulled away then, making sure not to stimulate him too much and rolled the condom on him. He glared down at you, only waiting the few seconds for you to put on the rubber before forcing you down onto your stomach. You raised your ass instinctively allowing him easy access to plunge inside you. Your walls stung at the sudden intrusion but you didn’t protest. The little bit of pain made your thighs quiver. You lowered your head flush to the mattress, you fingers rhythmically opening and closing around the sheets. The steady slapping of his hips against your ass making you practically scream your lungs out. His hand traveled up your spine to grip the back of your neck giving him leverage to pound faster into you. Your walls clamped down around him, the constant attention to your spot overcoming your entire body. His free hand met yours, sliding it under your body as he whispered “Cum for me,” against your glistening skin. He guided your fingers towards your clit, slowing down his thrusts a bit as his cock throbbed and ached for sweet release.

Your index and middle finger rubbed furiously at your swollen nub. It was only moments before your body froze, constricting as your orgasm gushed forth, trailing down your thighs and making your entire body shake. You barely heard or felt Yoongi’s release, your mind too clouded in the fuzzy aftermath of the most amazing orgasm you’d ever had. He pulled out slowly tying the condom off and tossing it in the trashcan by the dresser. You curled up on yourself, trying to steady your breath and fighting the urge to completely pass out.

“Hey…” He pushed the hair away from your face and peered down at you. “You ok?”

You gave him a silent thumbs up, not bothering to move.

He chuckled and fixed the pillows that were tossed aside during your romp before propping you against them. You groaned, feeling the ache between your thighs. “What the fuck happened?”

“You squirted.” He said nonchalantly before he took a heavy swig from the liquor bottle. “Probably from the clit gel I used, And the vibrator. And me going to town on your spot. “

You whapped his stomach, embarrassed by his words. “Shut up! I can’t believe you!”

“Hey, I didn’t hear any complaints from you.” He stuck his tongue out like a child before heading towards the kitchen. “Now how about that pizza?”

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