#i need you brave souls to tell me when something interesting is happening there.

[paintpanic]

Sometimes I feel like I haven't been, like, networking properly on here. How do I get invited to like collaborative projects? How do people find out about these? Is it because I'm not on Twitter.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Knight in Shining, Bloody Armor

Past =-= Next

Author note: Titus and Reader

Summary: Titus finds an upset Serf and tries to help.

Warnings: None? Let me know if I need to add anything.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams,

Tagged continued: @sleepyfan-blog, @whorety-k, @ms--lobotomy @bispecsual @thevoidscreams

Tagged continued: @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

You are a dutiful soul, working tirelessly to do your duty for the Imperium. Your job isn't glamorous or important in the full scheme of things.

You are, after all, just a Serf, one who serves aboard McCragge's Honnor. You had don't your best to try to stop crying, part of you wondering just what you had done, or was it simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Captain Sicarius is infamous for his horrible temper and brusque demeanor. You try to rub your face clear of tears frustratedly, you thought you had a thick skin in regards to insults and bullying behaviors.

Granted, when in front of people who treat you poorly you can show a brave, or polite face. That was something you prided yourself on. In an Emergency Situation you kept your head cool and calm, and only collapsed and had a panic attack only after the situation was dealt with.

Unless someone else with higher authority and understanding was in charge, then you reacted like a complete moron, unless you were specifically trained not to act like a jibbering idiot.

But then again, humans, base lines at least, still feel that emotion called fear, which can make even the most intelligent of person do something that could be potentially fatally stupid. Like trying to poor water on a cooking oil fire, or something equally understandably dumb.

You heard a voice rumble out, deep and soothing, and filled with compassionate concern, "Hello? Did you need help with anything?"

You turn to look to see who's talking and try to stop crying, rubbing your face clear of tears as you hurriedly bow to the Lueitenant of the Second Company, Titus. "M-my Lord, forgive me for disturbing you."

"It's alright, I am not distrubed," Titus says kindly, "I heard someone crying and wanted to see what was wrong… if you care to tell me that is."

"I thank you for your concern, my lord," You say bowing your head again. Sometimes, while the Angels of Ultramar can be brusque, rude, and demanding. Other times, and other Angels can be much kinder, more caring, and concerned for the mortals below them and in their care. "I was just… overly sensitive."

It was an interesting dicotomy that you'd started to notice, with certain Serfs helping to warn others of the more Tempermental ones, and the supervisors rewarding or punishing those lower ranked under their perview with serving near the kinder or more stern Lord Angels of Ultramar. Lt. Titus of the Second Company is one of the kinder Lord Angels.

"Hm." Titus says quietly eyeing you assessingly.

He'd heard his wonderful little brother and Captain Titus snarling at some poor Serf recently, which was not a good look. Granted, Cato is known for being a gaint bastard, but such things could make resentments start, flare, and fester within the mortals of the crew.

Which was not good for morale and making sure that those who served them did so without bitterness made it so that Chaos had less of a chance to take a hold of those that tend to their needs. Cato, arrogant brat that he could be, doesn't care about that. Or doesn't care to listen to someone who'd been demoted for un-codex-like behavior.

Despite the fact that the hot head could, and has stretched the limits of Codex-complaint behavior that, had he been any less favored, would have him in hot shit, more often with others of their Chapter.

Favoritism, was unfortunately, something that happened sometimes, with certain blood lines getting better treatment than others. While the Ultramarines try to be a meritocracy, sometimes Noble Borns have an easier time of it then those Ultramarines that come from a lower starting station.

The Captain of the Fourth Company Ventris comes to mind and how he's treated versus Cato in regards to stretching the rules of the Codex.

Not that Titus can say anything about that, or even imply as such. Not with the black marks on his records. Wouldn't want to seem… ungrateful for the position that he has, and the fact that he wasn't killed for his brush against Chaos.

He pulls his mind from his thoughts and focuses back on the young serf, who was watching them with wide eyes. They had a lovely form. Soft looking skin, despite the hard work that they must do in order to be a Serf for the Ultramarines. Titus forcefully pulls his thougths away from admiring their form, wondering where that thought had come from.

Since the Serf doesn't seem willing to tell him what had upset them so, he decided to back off, but kindly reminded them that he would be there if they wanted to talk to him about what had upset them. You were amazed, and also a little curious about why this Angel cared about why some random Serf was so upset. It was nice, even if a more suspicious part of you wondered what it was that he was after.

[fierceawakening]

I feel a bit afraid to even post this, for fear of someone else lashing out at me for questioning received wisdom but I still kind of feel like people are so invested in explaining their point of view (which I’m already saying is valid) that they’re missing part of mine

And that is that for me, part of my trauma is that I was both physically violated AND physically altered. And also I’m afab, and very often girls and women bear the brunt of purity culture in ways men and boys… definitely can but I’m not sure they always do.

And what purity culture says to little girls is that their worth is in their… well purity. Their innocence. That’s what’s beautiful and lovable about them.

So what happened to me… at least as I experienced it, I felt it stole my innocence. Destroyed my purity. I was still a virgin, but I’d kept a tight lid on any interest in anything dark or sinister or anything like that (and it turned out there was a lot to keep a lid on.)

After my trauma I was so angry and disillusioned I couldn’t do that any more. I got angry. I got cynical. I got bitter.

Which is all understandable. But here’s the kicker: I felt bad about it. Like a monster. Damaged and broken.

I kept getting diagnoses of situational depression. I’d get talk therapy until I felt a little better and then it would end and I’d need it again, later, like clockwork. It didn’t dawn on me that this indicated a chronic problem, not clearly enough for me to say “let’s look at diagnoses that include recurrence.”

In grad school, I read the book Trauma and Recovery which is an in depth look at PTSD, mostly as suffered by women who were raped or sexually abused.

In it, the women described my deep feelings of having been defiled so well it was eerie. They talked about feeling like there was dirt or oil or mud or sludge way down in their soul, where they couldn’t remove it.

That it made them fundamentally unclean in ways other people weren’t. Dirtied deep down, in ways that would forever separate them from other people who hadn’t been polluted.

Which is how I felt and still feel when things get bad, and what makes me feel suicidal. I can never be clean again, so I’m fundamentally unworthy, so I need to die and get it over with already.

Trying to frame it as that I’m still clean, or that the dirty one is the perpetrator(s), may work for other people, and I wish them the best. But trying to reframe it that way has never worked for me personally. As I said my body is literally altered surgically. I can’t avoid that something changed.

So what has worked to help me feel less like I don’t deserve to live?

Seeing the new thing that was created as worthwhile rather than poisoned.

Because of that, I get a lot of reassurance out of monster stories, especially ones where the monster isn’t fundamentally evil, just threatened and lashing out, or confused, or a child that doesn’t know its own strength or the like.

Which overlaps A LOT with “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

It’s not quite the same but it’s a cousin concept, a sibling. “You tried to kill me. You really should have finished the job.”

So when I see people say “don’t tell me I’m stronger now, I get to be the judge of that thank you very much,” that version I get.

But when I see “the idea that I’m stronger now is bullshit, all I did was break,” that one twigs me.

Because it pulls me back to the broken doll oozing ichor. Nothing new came out of this. Nothing brave. That’s just a demon trying to justify continuing to exist, when deep down it knows all it is is pollution.

I make these posts not to tell people that they need to see themselves as stronger. I don’t know how they should heal. They know that.

I make them to remind people that there are a lot of different ways to reconstruct a self, and that it’s easy to overstep if you generalize too much.

[snippychicke]

For the Sake of a Smile (V.2) Chapter Fourteen

Title: For the Sake of a Smile (Revised)

Overall Rating: Mature (18+)

Chapter Rating: M for Mature. We've begun the 18+ content

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond the child abuse hinted in the series, though we do explore the consequences a bit more.

Main Pairing: Balam Shichiro/Reader

Summary: Hell on earth was your motto for your job. Granted, you were pretty sure earth really was hell, considering the shit you had seen in your life. And the fact your coworker was a child. 

A child named Suzuki Iruma, in fact. A kid who’s life was decidedly worse than yours, but yet he smiled despite everything. It wasn’t long after meeting him that you decided you’d do a lot for his smile. Including summoning a literal demon and signing your soul away.

But as it turns out, hell (The Netherworld, actually) was a lot better than living on earth. Demons were more humane than a lot of humans you knew.

And Iruma’s smile wasn’t the only one that would change your life.

Masterlist | Ao3| Mairimashitai! Simps Discord

When you returned home later that evening, you were confronted by three very inquisitive beings; two of which (Sullivan and Iruma) could barely keep their grins contained. 

It seemed the grapevine of Babyls was as alive and healthy as always. 

"Can I help you three?" You asked the trio, deciding to be a little impish yourself and not just spill the news without teasing them a little. 

"We heard something interesting happened in the Library today," Sullivan started. "Would you mind sharing?"

"Well, that shipment of books on advanced torture theory arrived," You said. "Marbas was excited about that. He was wanting to show one of his classes some tactic that they used several hundred years ago. And speaking of tactics, Ipos decided to use war tactics by sending a bunch of first years to raid…"

"They meant between you and Shichiro," Opera interrupted as Sullivan and Iruma's expressions fell. "Something about my kohai tying you up in front of the Seduction instructor?”

Your impish attitude disappeared as quick as the blush appeared on your cheeks. "It wasn’t like that," You defended, though now the idea has been seeded in your mind and refused to completely disappear no matter how hard you tried.

"And the cute little bracelet you have on your wrist?" Sullivan hummed a bit too innocently. "I don't recall seeing it there earlier today." 

You sighed in defeat. "Yes, alright. Bal--Shichiro-- asked if he could court me, and I agreed." 

Sullivan and Iruma cheered as they tackled you in a hug, while Opera looked rather pleased like a cat who had caught their prey. 

And for the moment, you wondered if everything would be okay.

--+--

Balam -- no, Shichiro -- kissed along your neck, his fingers trailing along your upper thighs beneath your skirt.

"So beautiful," He praised as you whined slightly, your body feeling like it was on fire from the way he was taking his time. As if he wanted to taste every inch of exposed flesh, touch and memorize the soft curve of your legs up into hips, while torturously ignoring your innermost parts. "My precious human. My most precious…." 

"Please," You begged as you shifted your hips, "Please, Balam. I-I need…"

He nipped your collarbone with his fangs, the large dull points pressing into you without piercing your skin. "Tell me." He commanded softly as he tended to the bruised flesh with both his tongue and lips. "Tell me what you need." 

"You," You answered, bravely guiding his hand towards the apex of your thighs. "I need you here." 

He palmed your groin, reminding you just how big his hand was in comparison. He rubbed gently, making you gasp at the jolt of pleasure. Your fingers dug into his shoulders and his hair, pulling slightly on his silvery-white hair. 

Shichiro groaned, though you weren't sure if it was you tugging his hair or the fact his index finger slipped easily between your folds, finding your entrance almost instantly. 

--+--

You woke just as dream-Shichiro's fingers entered you, making you gasp and whine when you realized you were alone in your bed, pre-dawn light sneaking through the sheer curtains. 

The small positive was the faint weight of the vines encircled around your wrist, assuring you that not everything had been a dream. 

Yesterday had been such a whirlwind you were still shaken and confused by parts of it, but the bracelet was grounding. You had admitted your feelings to Balam --Shichiro -- and he returned them. His kisses had been real back in his prep room. You could remember his touch and weight as he laid against you on the floor, almost as desperate as you. 

Your hand trailed underneath the blankets as you glanced at the clock. There was plenty of time yet, and you definitely couldn't go to work like this. 

Shortly afterwards, you weren't sure if it was the pent up emotions, memory and imagination now intertwined, or the way the bracelet rubbed against you that made you nearly scream as you came. 

--+--

Your head was in the clouds later in the day, feeling better than you had in quite a while, though you had a feeling it was just a small reprieve. That the small dark voice in the back of your head was just waiting to start whispering its truths once again. 

"Well, someone looks happy," Furcus stated dryly as she entered the library, approaching your counter. There was a conspiratorial smirk on her face as she arched her brow. "Considering Balam was in a similar state when I passed him in the hall, I suppose there's been a change in your relationship?"

"Maybe?" You offered, biting back your smile. You couldn't even bother to be shy or embarrassed, you were just so happy!

Furcus' expression shifted to a soft smile. "I'm glad, you two deserve it. May I ask what he gave you as an offering?"

You only knew what she referred to from Shichiro's own ramblings earlier, and showed her the vine-bracelet. Her eyes lit up, her interest piqued as she studied it, though was careful not to touch it. 

"I'm surprised. Historically, an offering would be something valuable, such as gems or food, though nowadays many get by with just some store-bought trinket like a horn or tail ring. This is neither… what is it, some kind of Nigi-Nigi weed?" 

"Um, it's actually from Nigyul," You explained, feeling a little uncertain. "It's--"

"Infused with that powerful mana he's known for," She interrupted, and you realized she was completely in researcher mode. "I wouldn't be surprised if he or his nigyupnil couldn't track it. It'll also ward off any idiot who thinks you may be an easy target. Not just for being rankless, but for being so humiliated yesterday."

Humiliated? 

Oh. Oh. You presumed she meant your fight with Raim when you had lost control. You blushed, unconsciously pulling your hand away. 

There was that little dark whisper, grinning in victory as your mood sank. You had argued with the Seduction teacher in front of everyone, and then attacked her. Not with the small amount of magic you were learning, but as if she had been as weak as you.

Which she wasn't. Not in the least bit.  

It had been Balam to pull you off of her, but she had acted as if the whole thing was just a little play fighting between friends when at the moment you had just been wanting to make her hurt. 

Hurt like you had been feeling. 

You fiddled with the bracelet, the two parts warring with each other. Balam Shichiro cared for you in the same way you felt. Had stumbled over his words trying to reassure he would be as considerate to human customs as you tried to be with demons'. 

Yet you still felt like an idiot, just now with the added twist of being so caught up in your own thoughts and self-denials you hadn't realized the truth. 

There was a sharp, burning pain in your fingers, making you wince and look down at the bracelet. The once light green smooth vines had darkened, and had somehow grown small hair-like thorns. 

"Fascinating," Furcus all but purred, leaning to take a closer look. "I'm hardly an expert in devibotony or in magical zoology, but I don't think that's typical…"

"I don't believe so either." You didn't have much choice but to agree. After all, you were hardly an expert either, you were still learning the basics of the subjects. But considering everything, you highly doubted the change was a positive one. "Would you mind…"

Her smile had a slight smirk to it. "I can mind the counter for a while while you go consult the expert. And considering everything, I'd be happy to find someone to cover if you happen to dally."

You blushed, not quite how to protest now that you were courting, though you highly doubted that anything would really happen. There were no longer the charged emotions of yesterday - and despite the memory of Shirchiro's lips against yours hungry and desperate, part of you still…. Doubted. 

So you just muttered a quick thanks before quickly escaping. The halls were quiet, considering classes were still in session. You realized with a twisted stomach Balam would likely be in the middle of class, but you couldn't just return to the library either. 

Maybe you could just catch him between classes? Just long enough to assure that nothing deadly was happening. 

Luck seemed to smile on you, the bell screaming shortly as you reached the hall where Balam held his classes. A few students you were vaguely familiar with greeted you in passing, and you tried to ignore their smiles and giggles as soon as their back was turned. 

But you couldn't help but wonder what they were so amused about; the fact you were waiting to talk to Balam, or the rumors of yesterday. If they realized how weak you were, and how easily you had let your temper get the best of you...

How much of your rant at Raim had been overheard? How you had professed your feelings for Shichiro in your rage amongst admitting the frustration of being powerless. 

Your thoughts were interrupted as you were suddenly lifted up, Shichiro calling your name happily as he hugged you tightly. As your initial surprise waned, warmth flowed through you, both in contentment and embarrassment. Being picked up and cuddled like a teddy bear in front of students was awkward.

But being in Shichiro’s arms, his face nuzzling against your hair, was undeniably heartwarming and reassuring. "Good morning," He mumbled against you, the low rumble of his voice causing your stomach to flip flop. "I'm surprised to see you. A happy surprise, of course."

You shifted so you could face him, indulging in his embrace. "Good morning," You returned. "I don't want to bother you, but…." 

"You're never a bother," He assured immediately, setting you down for a moment. "But what's up?" 

You wordlessly showed him your bracelet, causing the interest to pique in his expression, but there was concern as well as he gently took your hand in his. "When did this happen?" 

"Uh. Within the last hour? It was fine until just a few minutes ago when I was talking to Furcus…" 

"Hmmm, let me talk with the students of my next class for their assignment and then I'll meet you in the prep room. Unless you don't have time?" 

You shook your head, the knot of anxiety building in your stomach. Did that mean the change was something to be concerned about?

The idea stewed in your mind as you parted ways and retreated to the prep room he shared with Suzy, though she admittingly rarely used it, considering she had the entirety of the greenhouse as her own. 

You heard Nigyul's odd little chirp as soon as you entered, and smiled at the pair of golden eyes staring down at you. "Hey you," You greeted as you stepped closer to the tangle of vines he had made a nest in. You lifted your hand for him to sniff in greeting before he butted against it, demanding to be pet as usual. 

With the bracelet near its origin, it was easier to tell how much it had changed, making you frown despite Nigyul's small pleased chirps as you scratched his small snout. 

The door opened a few moments later before Balam entered. "I'm sorry for the delay…"

"You're supposed to be teaching," You chided lightly. "If anything, I should be apologizing for bothering you." 

You could tell he was frowning from the tilt of his eyebrows as he cupped your face gently. "My dear, you are never a bother. Especially with something like this." 

You tried to beat back the warmth in your cheeks, reminding yourself now wasn't the time to fawn over how sweet he was, nor how his touch caused goosebumps as his fingers grazed down your arm to the bracelet in question. 

He led you to the large overstuffed couch, settling into it and pulling you to sit close as he studied the bracelet closely for a long moment. You allowed him to twist your arm gently to look at the entire loop of dark vines, and you had the oddest sense of him… prodding it with his mana. 

"I would guess it's been able to feed off your own mana," He admitted thoughtfully after a long moment. "Which is very surprising, but to be fair no one has kept a Nigyupnil in captivity before or used a cutting from them in such a way. Especially with a human…" 

His words more or less flowed in one one ear and out the other. "I wasn't using any mana. I haven't created any runes or anything since…" You trailed off, unable or maybe unwilling to explain that using magic had only stirred up memories that had been too painful for you at the time. 

"Granted, we don't know a lot regarding the differences in human and demon magic," He hummed thoughtfully, stroking your arm as if trying to be reassuring. "To the point that I had honestly thought humans had no magic until I met you and Iruma. But, from how you've explained using Runes, it's obviously linked with emotions, just like demons. Were you having any strong emotions?" 

You grew quiet, and Balam frowned as he noticed you withdraw slightly from him. "I was just… stressing over some things." You mumbled awkwardly, avoiding his gaze. 

Without thinking, Shichiro pulled you close to him, more or less causing you to fall into his lap as he curled his arms around you. "Stress is a form of strong negative emotions, likely to cause evil cycles and flares in magic. It would explain things. But… what's caused you to be so stressed?" 

You hesitated as you pressed your face against his chest, trying to avoid the dark thoughts. "Just… things. Feeling like I keep messing up. That I'm an idiot…"

"You are not an idiot," He interjected quickly. "Look at you! A wealth of sacred information." 

"Which is useless here," You shot back, looking up at him. "I mean, to you it may be great, but no one else. I'm surrounded by teachers and I look stupid compared with even the first year students." 

His frown deepened as he cupped your face once more. "Ask Ifrit about biology, and he'll tell you it could burn. Ask Orias about torture and he wouldn't have a clue. Demons have their passions and their niche interests. Take me, for example. I have always been fascinated with the different forms of life since I was a child. My mother's favorite story is about how I learned to walk because I was chasing a lizard in the yard. But you seem to know so much about various different aspects of your world, that to answer your questions about ours I often have to research it."

His words resonated as you leaned against him, feeling warm and protected as he rested his chin on the top of your head, his arms wrapping around your waist. "What's your passion?" He asked after a moment. "What is your driving force?" 

"I never had a passion, other than to survive," You admitted. "My life… sucked back on earth. Iruma was literally the best thing that had ever happened to me. I wanted so badly to take care of him, to show how much I cared for him…. And then we came here and suddenly our lives became so much better. He doesn't need me looking out for him anymore. I should be able to just relax and enjoy things, but I-I can't.."

Balam sighed as he hugged you a little tighter. "I wish I could ask Tsumuru on how to help you, but I worry they would ask too many questions. But, I do know that when a demon loses their ambition, it can be catastrophic to their psyche. If your goal was just to survive, and now it's no longer something you have to focus on, I'm sure there's some kind of correlation." 

Was it really that simple? "But, I still want to be a good mother to Iruma. A good daughter to Sullivan. And… find out where this is going," You admitted after a moment, emphasizing your words by stroking his chest lightly. "But they seem so insignificant compared to everyone else's dreams. I mean, I know Iruma loves me, but he doesn't need me. Neither does Sullivan. In fact…"

You trailed off, unwilling to voice that dark thought. But Balam wasn't going to allow it, apparently, as he pulled back to look you in the eye, encouraging you to continue.

You glanced away, avoiding those fathomless pools or warm darkness. "It's nothing," You tried to lie, forgetting for one moment such tricks didn't work on the giant demon.

He cupped your face, encouraging you to look at him. "It's not nothing, judging by the reaction from my bloodline ability."

You cursed to yourself. Of all the demons and their abilities. "... shouldn't you go back to your class?" You asked as you tried to avoid answering. "I mean, if this isn't going to be a danger to anyone, surely they take precedence."

"My students are reading the next chapter and likely thankful for the unexpected study time," He answered. "They'll be fine. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," You answered automatically, causing his frown to deepen. 

"You're not," He voiced the one thing you were trying to avoid admitting. He pulled you back to him, holding you tightly. "Let me help you. Please. You mean so much to me, please tell me what's wrong." 

His words echoed from the day before, and like then, you cracked. "I can't help but feel like I contribute nothing," You admitted as you pressed yourself against him. Hoping maybe you would be able to absorb some of his strength or his certainty.  "That my foolishness and mistakes are going to endanger Iruma. That maybe things would be better for him - for everyone - if I wasn't here." 

His embrace tightened to the point of almost hurting. "You may believe those words, but they're lies." He growled, surprising you with the venom in his tone. "You are needed, you are wanted, by all of us. You belong here, human or not. Lord Sullivan and Iruma love you, as does Senpai. The students adore you, especially the misfits. And I…I could not stand it if you left merely because you thought you were not wanted. I would find a way to go to the human realm if I had to, just to be with you."

His words cracked something deep in your chest, and despite your best efforts to press down the lump in your throat, you were soon crying into his chest as you clung to him. 

Why? Why did he have to be so damn perfect and sweet? How could he know the virtually perfect words to say? "I want you, we all want you here," He repeated, running his fingers through your hair as you cried. "Nothing would be better if you weren't here. If anything, it would be much worse." 

--+--

Neither Furcus nor the library battler was waiting for you when you returned to the library. Instead, Sullivan was helping the students, a cheerful smile on his face despite the baffled looks of the students. 

"I didn't expect you down here," You admitted as you approached. "I thought one of the others was going to cover?"

"Well, I happened to overhear--" Sullivan paused as he turned to face you, his smile disappearing in an instant. There was a brief moment as his cheery expression fell, revealing a sort of cold anger that disappeared as soon as it appeared, replaced by tears welling up in his eyes as he tackled you. "Sweetie! What could make my dear princess cry?!

Ah. Right. For as much crying as you did, your eyes were likely red and puffy.

"I-I was talking with Balam about some things," You tried to explain, vaguely aware as students started to awkwardly avoid the area, knowing how Lord Sullivan got sometimes. 

Sullivan froze for a moment, that odd steelines returning to his eyes. "Balam made you cry?" 

"Not like that!" You answered quickly, and that cold look disappeared instantly. 

"Then what?" He asked, clutching your hands tightly. "What could have made you cry?"

You shifted guiltily, half tempted to lie since Sullivan did not have Balam's lie-detection ability - yet the idea also left you uncomfortable. You had admitted the truth to Shichiro, so maybe you should do the same for the demon who had made all of this possible in the first place.

"You know how I haven't been quite myself lately?" You started, finally deciding on which half to listen to.

Sullivan nodded with a slight frown, "I had hopes that had been resolved, considering the rumors and your bracelet." 

You blushed. Has it really been that obvious? "Well… so…" You looked around, assuring no one else was around before sighing. "It was more than that that was causing me to feel depressed. With everything that's happened… I was feeling like I was more trouble than I was worth, for everyone involved."

Sullivan's eyes softened at your words, one hand reaching up to brush your cheek. "You don't think that, surely?"

You pulled your hands away from his and rubbed your eyes as you avoided his gaze, so full of both pity and pain. "I have been… still kind of do," You admitted quietly. "but Balam talked me through a lot, and--"

You were interrupted as Sullivan pulled you into a tight hug. "My dear daughter," He spoke softly, not at all like his usual exuberance. "You have no idea how much you mean to me."

"I just kinda fell into your life," You argued lightly, "chasing after Iruma. I'm essentially just an accident." 

"Yes," He acknowledged slowly. "However, I would have never offered just anyone to become my daughter. I had never seen such love - such compassion - in all my years. I knew that not only would it be beneficial to Iruma for you to remain, but I had hoped that it would be a good change for so many others as well.  And I selfishly hoped that you would come to see me as family just as Iruma had."

"I do," You answered without thinking. "I never had a father figure before… but I still can't help but worry that I'll end up failing or disappointing everyone."

"My girl," He said so fondly, that deep paternal expression on his face as he pulled back slightly. "The only way you could disappoint me was if you gave up. I know being here must be challenging, but you have no idea how important you have become. For you to give up would devastate me and so many others." 

"I'm not that important," You scoffed. Yeah, the Misfits would miss you, and Shichiro, Iruma, and maybe even Sullivan would be sad… but that was it. No one would be devastated.

There was a sparkle in his eyes, "You saw for yourself in Walter Park, your matronly nature is rare - virtually unheard of, in this realm. Just as Iruma's kindness draws demons in, so do you. Can you imagine how Iruma's classmates would react if he thought the same as you?" 

Devi, there would be literal chaos as they would try to make him see the truth. Especially Az and Clara.

But it wouldn't just be the Misfits. He had proven with earning Royal One that he was respected by so many. 

"I'm not him, though," You replied, shaking your head. 

"No, but the effect would be the same," He responded. "The teachers see you as their equal. The students of all years and classes respect you and dare I say adore you. You have done so much good for the morale of this school. Losing you would be the same as losing Iruma. Which, let's not even discuss how he would feel." 

The same sentiment as Shichiro, but said with a father's love. The dark whispering in your mind quieted, silenced by the weight of their words. It was also the way Sullivan had said it, with that rare solemness you were unused to. 

"And if you ever doubt how loved and wanted you are," He continued after allowing you to mull over his words. "Say something in the future, my dear. I would be happy to remind you, as I am sure Balam and Iruma would as well." 

--+-- Su Ki Ma --+--

There was a knock on your door later that night as you mindlessly skimmed through one of your books, unable to read as your mind tumbled over all the events of the day, weighing and ruminating over both Shichiros and Sullivan's words. 

Iruma poked his head around the door, his blue eyes already in puppy-mode. "Can I come in?" 

"Always," You answered, setting the book aside and patting the area beside you. He quickly crossed the room and climbed onto your bed, snuggling close to your side without hesitation, which surprised you. Yes, he was affectionate for someone his age, you thought, but usually not like this. 

"Is everything okay?" You asked as you combed his wild blue hair with your fingers, that curled lock at the crown of his head refusing to comply. 

"I'm fine, but… I heard you weren't," He admitted softly. "I know you haven't been your usual self, but Opera and my classmates thought you and Professor Balam were just pining after one another. But… then I heard you were crying today…"

Demons were the worst about gossiping. You were starting to wonder if there were any secrets in that school. 

Then again. You and Iruma were proof that a few secrets were kept safe. 

But, how to explain everything to Iruma? He was impossible to lie to, especially with those large blue eyes of his. "...my mood was not entirely because of my feelings for Professor Balam," You sighed. "I've been struggling with some other things, but it's getting better now." 

He looked up at you, confused. "What do you mean?" 

You sighed again, rubbing your head. "It's really hard to explain, but I guess it boils down to the fact that I've been feeling rather useless lately, now that things aren't as stressful and you're well taken care of." 

His hold on you tightened. "But I do need you! You're my Mom! I mean, I love Grandpa," He admitted softly after his initial outburst. "And everyone else too. But you're my Mom. No one could replace you. You were the first person to actually care for me. Who actually loved me." 

Guilt ate at your heart as you pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to his head. "It was just a feeling, sweetie. Sometimes depression hits hard, especially when things are too good to be true for those of us who have struggled most of our lives." 

To be honest, you were shocked he hadn't shown any of the negative effects of his past. He had gone so much worse than you had, yet seemed to carry on without so much a shadow hanging over his head. 

You prayed to any higher powers he would stay like that. That he could leave his trauma behind and embrace his future. 

But you also feared that maybe it was still looming in the future, buried far deeper than your own. 

Maybe you could help him, should that dark beast be lurking in his psyche. 

"Having people who love you, who care for you, is the best thing for these kinds of things," You said after a moment, thinking to how much Shichiro had helped; how much Sullivan - even Raim in her own way - had finally caused that dark feeling to loosen its grip. "Even when you feel at your worst, it's okay to talk about it. To reach out for comfort." 

It was a bit hypocritical in hindsight, but you could admit that trying to deal with everything on your own had not been the right choice. 

"Even if you feel like no one will want to listen, I will," You continued, looking down at those sweet blue eyes and allowing that motherly love and fierceness burn in your chest. "I will always be here for you. No matter what." 

[marumafan]

Hello! I think you're now the Yuuram prophet XD so I think you can help me with this. Is it ever explained what is exactly the Maou? I mean the Maou who shares a soul with Yuuri. What is it exactly? Where did it come from? Why was Cheri the previous Maou if technically Julia was the vessel before Yuuri? It just never made sense to me because the anime never explained it

Hello! Oh wow! Plot points explanations, okay.

The 'maous' are just a 'kings/queens' chosen by Shinou to rule the land. (this has nothing to do with being 'keys/vessels')

The 'keys'(vessels that you were talking about) are people with 'pieces of soushu' attached to 'souls' that 'open the boxes that contain the soushu'. These people were NOT related to Shinou.

The soushu according to the novels and the MaHon Encyclopedia Maru-mania (you can google that to find it) are 'entities that tried to swallow the entire world'. So when they were defeated by Shinou and a 'group of brave people' they were sealed into four boxes.

Why Cherie? Well… Cherie gave birth to 3 out of the 4 keys for Shinou and (in a cd "Secret" (written by the author) and novel story Gaiden04, Chapter 7.1, ) it is implied that Cherie is Shinou's descendant. This means Cherie following Shinou's command had 3 keys with potentially his blood (this is likely to be a plot point, but we never got there in the novels). (And she probably wouldn't have been able to do so if she wasn't the maou.)

More info about Cherie here https://marumafan.tumblr.com/post/164589863984/cherie-post-kkm

more: https://marumafan.tumblr.com/post/639340971871600640/i-just-read-the-post-about-cherie-andwow

-In 56. Kyou Kara MAou! Seisakoku DX! Return Trip, Disc 01 , track 8 Shinou and the Great Sage (these cds were written BY the author, also I think this is in manga?), Shinou and Daikenja talk and you can see why Murata left with boxes and keys…

-Shinou is just a 'strategist' trying to get all the boxes and keys back. And if you ask me, making the keys have his blood through Cherie just has something to do with that.

-Also in one of the gaidens, I think Gaiden 2, it's said that Yuuri's parents were chosen according to Shinou's specifications. So Shinou wanted something from Yuuri's parents specifically *(it's not said what), and chose them to make the body for the soul with the key.

----------------------------------------

-What about the 'maou' (Uesama)? According to the encyclopedia

"Uesama (上様)The personality that appears when Yuuri activates the super maou mode. It has a low-pitched voice, speaks in difficult and complicated words, with the characteristics of half-assed historical drama lines. (Novel 2) "

It's interesting to note that they listed his first appearance in the SECOND novel although there was a Uesama in the first novel (when he fights Wolf)

Here's more info about Yuuri's soul and the soushu and all that over here:

https://marumafan.tumblr.com/post/169402082789/about-the-boxes-and-the-keys

https://marumafan.tumblr.com/post/169401741489/info-about-yuuris-soul

https://marumafan.tumblr.com/post/176647242649/maruma-analysis-soushu-what-is-happening-here

Lastly about Yuuri and soushu: Murata tells Yuuri in Gaiden 4 - Chapter 7,2 about how Yuuri 'may end up like him' , with all the voices of the previous lives in his head (and maybe taking over him)? So that he needs to be careful . I think this is mentioned again in Prison arc.

-------------------------------

Lastly, it's important to remember that when the novels started the author had NOT thought about the boxes plot at all, or vessels or anything like that.

The OG reason why someone became maou was "because Shinou said so".

-------------------------------

I have a bunch of analyses here, some about Julia and her life and death too: https://marumafan.tumblr.com/moarkkm

Edit to add: Furthermore Julia was probably a newborn when Cherie was named maou (Julia was about Gwen's age I believe?). Also, sending Conrad to retrieve the arm could have been part of Shinou's plot, killing Julia and using it as a way to make Connie get Berard's arm. (He traveled with one key : Julia, and came back with the other key: the arm), seems like keys and boxes can both travel easily.

[trainalt22]

A dictation of the National Rail Museum curator orientation of the class of 2015

The speaker is Doctor Ashton Collins, lead mechologist for the N.R.M.

[Recording start]

"The first of May 1925, Solario came to me today asking for a once-over. I found this odd because I had just finished maintenance on him not a week ago, but I'm not foolish enough to ignore my engines when they say something is wrong. He asked to speak with me in private. I eyed him warily but had my workshop cleared regardless. He said he was visited by a small purple tank engine the night before. From how he described this engine, it didn't match any I knew about, but I let him continue. He said that she had chosen him to be her guardian, that his kind heart and brave soul would be of great use, and then he paused, a look of contemplation on his face. I pressed for more, and he said she disappeared in a flash of golden light.

My expression must have been one of unamusement because Solario asked for a chance to prove what he saw was real. I was unsure of what he meant but allowed him to, and before I could object, a golden dust enshrouded him. I could see him start to fade. I must admit it gave me a shock. I fell from my stool, but something most peculiar happened. When the dust settled, before me where Solario was, a man stood, dressed in a green jacket with 'LNER' embroidered across the left breast pocket, while the right had '4473' across it, and his trousers matched the same green with black and white lining down the sides.

His hair was a blinding blonde, and he had eyes as green as his coat. I called out to him, worried about what had happened to my engine, but he proved his identity by reciting the conversation we had when he first awoke two years ago, and we talked at lengths about how he came to be like this. All I can say for now is this is most interesting."

An excerpt from Sir Nigel Gresley's journal taken from the LNER Archives

"I know what you all are thinking: Gresley must have had something stronger than tobacco in his pipe."

[Dispersed laughter is heard in the crowd]

"But you'll learn that stranger things happen here than just the errant railfan trying to get themselves locked in overnight, and it may shock you to find out that Gresley wasn't off his rocker when he wrote that entry in 1925. You ten have been selected because you have shown the most aptitude and drive to be curators to help look after these places of history. But a curator's job isn't just planning maintenance and events; sometimes this job can be more than what we signed up for.

Gold Dust is the lifeblood and souls of sentiences everywhere. Now before you write me off, allow me to demonstrate."

[Dr. Collins produces a small wooden box from the desk he's standing at and takes out a weathered conductor whistle]

"This is a conductor whistle. It was entrusted to the NRM after its owner passed. Now, while gold dust can be volatile if misused, it can be a useful tool for those who wield it."

[Dr. Collins wipes the mouthpiece with his sleeve before blowing into it. The whistle bathes him in a cloud of golden dust, and he disappears, causing the group to panic before he reappears in the back of the room]

"Pretty neat, right?"

[Dr. Collins's sudden reappearance startles the class]

"Sorry for the scare, everyone, but I'm guessing you're going to take what I say a little more seriously. Sure, every machine you have needs its fuel to run, but this is what keeps them alive; it's their soul. But while I am the Lead Mechologist, I think it more prudent for you to hear from someone who doesn't just use gold dust for cheap tricks. So please welcome Mrs. Morgan Merlin, or as you would know her, LNER 4468 Mallard."

[A tall, tanned woman in a dark blue suit and matching skirt with bright red heels walks into the room with a look of unamusement on her face]

"How many times do I have to tell you not to use gold dust for cheap tricks?"

"Ducky, I was just using it so they'd take me seriously."

"Get out and stop calling me Ducky."

[Dr. Collins leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Mallard clears her throat before continuing]

"Now, a few things before we continue. 1. Yes, I'm the real Mallard; the one downstairs is a replica. 2. Yes, I can still use my engine form; I just haven't in a while. 3. Do NOT call me Ducky. Understood?"

[The group either nods or responds in the affirmative]

"Now, it is part of your job as curators to help us guardians complete our duties. As such, most of the UK's guardians and all remaining former guardians that survived scrap are stationed here. Myself, Evening Star, Lode Star, and Sterling Number One are all guardians, and I have been given their permission to talk about their status with you.

This brings us to another point. Knowledge about guardians is hush-hush. You tell no one other than those above you or your fellow curators this information. If fallen into the wrong hands, it could spell disaster for sentient machines everywhere.

Now..."

[Morgan writes on the chalkboard]

"Application of gold dust. Gold Dust has many uses, one being teleportation like you saw Dr. Collins demonstrate. However, it is not just for travel; it can be used for offense and defense as well."

[Golden dust envelopes Morgan's hand and condenses into a golden blade. She holds it up for the entire class to see]

"There are many dangers guardians face, many of them being supernatural in nature. Gold dust not only allows us to battle these threats if necessary, but it also defends us from them as well."

[Her "blade" disperses into a cloud of dust again, reshaping into a shield]

"As you may have already guessed, gold dust allows guardians to shed their mechanical forms and become human with an appearance based on both the physical attributes of whatever machine they are and their perception of themselves."

[Morgan disperses her shield, the dust seeps into her skin, then she gestures to herself]

"As you can see, my engine is in perfect condition, and I'm very confident in myself and my abilities. That's not to say that heavier-set guardians aren't confident with their forms; much like you humans, our forms still have a bit of an unknown factor when we transform into them for the first time. Things like skin tone, hair color, and eye color vary.

Some of you may have noticed I mentioned that guardians face off with the supernatural. One of our most common foes are wraiths. They are spirits of machines that have died and chosen not to travel on to the Grand Terminus, and instead choose to roam and seek out humans. I can assure you, you do not want to find yourself cornered by a wraith. There are not very many things in this world that will bring you a more painful demise.

The other type of enemy we face is called the Blighted. They range vastly from machine to machine, but they are the poor souls that have been unfortunate to have been infected with Crimson Rot. Their minds are subsumed by it; they become a husk of their former selves, attacking any machine to siphon their victim's gold dust, feeding the parasitic infection.

Make sure to check your machine carefully for unusual rust or rotting of wood or other such materials, especially if they work in or around a scrapyard. Crimson Rust likes to fester in scrapyards to drain what little gold dust dying machines have left."

[Morgan's watch beeps twice, causing her to sigh]

"We will explain the rest of a guardian's duties in the next class, so do be there. Class dismissed."

[End of recording]

[elm-writes-stories]

Wish(A Cuphead AU) Chapter Two:

*Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter of the Wish AU with the Cuphead characters. Now things are going to get interesting. This chapter is published on December 16, 2023. If you guys like this chapter, don't be afraid to reblog, heart it, and comment! That would be greatly appreciated! Have a blessed day!*

The dinner at Porkrind’s shop was silent. In the back crowded room with all the strange collections filling the shelves, each of the family had bowls of food in their hands.

Cassidy hadn’t been talking, which was concerning Porkrind throughout the silence. He couldn’t take it anymore when he let out a sigh.

“Okay, what’s on your mind?” Porkrind asked Cassidy.

“Hm?” Cassidy questioned.

“I’ve seen how you are throughout the ceremony. You look like you were ready to break down crying. Are you doing okay?” Porkrind confronted her.

Cassidy kept her mouth for a second. She took a deep breath and said, “I’m just happy for the new couple giving their wishes to the king.”

“That ain’t no tears of happiness,” Porkrind pointed out.

“Po,” Shayna spoke softly, her voice weak a little.

Jerry looked at the one-eyed pig. “Just eat. It’s probably nothin’ to worry about.”

Cassidy bit her bottom lip. Oh, Jerry couldn’t be more wrong. She kept eating her soup from the bowl until she had to put on the courage.

“Actually, there is something I need to tell you guys,” Cassidy finally said.

Porkrind, Shayna, and Jerry leaned forward in anticipation.

Before she was about to tell them, she gasped to see a card of ace of spades with eyes watching her. A realization came to her when she saw the card gesturing her to zip her lips. King Dice might have sent that card to spy on her to make sure she wouldn’t open her mouth.

She shifted her gaze to see her family pale again, reminding her that their souls were in danger if she were to spill the beans.

With a sigh, she lied, “Natalie wants to take me shopping tomorrow night. So…I might be back late.”

“Aw, you don’t have to keep that from us,” Shayna replied. “You and Natalie go have fun.”

“That’s not what you’re about to tell us,” Porkrind replied.

“Porks—” Jerry groaned.

“Cassidy, what are you hiding from us?” the pig questioned. “You don’t have to hide anything from us.”

“You don’t understand,” she muttered.

“What don’t I understand?” Porkrind interrogated.

“Po, calm down,” Shayna scolded Porkrind.

“No, whatever she’s hiding, it’s causing her to hurt. She doesn’t have to hide it—”

“She’ll tell it to us on her own time,” Jerry cut Porkrind off. “Give her time.”

Cassidy bit her bottom lip ragged.

Porkrind sighed to surrender. “Fine. Fine. You don’t have to tell us anything.”

She wanted to cry because she did want to tell them. She wanted to warn them so badly of King Luci’s deceit of his identity. But they would never understand if she told them or the repercussions of what happens when she tells them. She was too afraid of what King Luci will do to their souls if she did say something.

It was getting to the point where she couldn’t sit still.

She got up from her seat and ran out the door of Porkrind’s shop.

The three adults looked on with concern, noticing the way she exited the shop.

“She’s definitely hiding something from us,” Porkrind said, now convinced more than ever.

Shayna frowned. “We need to give her time. Maybe she’ll tell us eventually. Whenever she’s ready.”

“Yeah,” Jerry chirped in agreement.

“I’ll give her the same respect, but I can’t just sit idly while watching her hurt inside.”

“I know, Po. I know,” Shayna said while rubbing his shoulder.

~.~

The soft music played in the background as Cassidy strode through the woods, tears in her eyes. She hugged herself and she started to sing in a croaked voice.

“Why can’t I just tell them?

Am I not as brave as Nat has said?

If I tell them about everything I’ve seen,

Would they believe me if they knew?

Would they open their eyes to the truth?”

Cassidy hugged her shoulders, more tears streaming down on her cheeks.

“But when I speak, no words came out.

How can I tell them when it can kill them?

Oh, this is what happens when we make our wish to him.

Did the generations before us know about this? Maybe not.”

Cassidy glanced up at the stars twinkling at the sky, straightening up. She wiped her tears away and started to sing her heart out.

“So, I will wish upon the stars tonight.

And pray it will be granted.

Mom’s desire to become a singer.

Porkrind’s want to expand his business.

Jerry’s dream to become an entertainer.

My wish for one true love.”

Cassidy frowned once she mentioned her own wish in the mix. She sighed and clutched her chest with her paws.

“Now, I make this wish,

To restore the souls deceived by him.

Now, I make this wish,

To restore the souls deceived by him.”

Cassidy could hear the choir of invisible beings singing in the background as she traveled through the woods towards the tree by cliff.

“Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah.

Restore the souls.”

Cassidy climbed up on the tree to the branch and saw her father’s grave. She took deep breaths and sat on the branch to look up at the stars.

“I never knew there’s more than just wishing to the king.

Yeah, people come to give wishes to him, but they won’t be granted.

Now I’ve been freed from the manipulation,

I’ve seen how messed up our society has become because of him.”

Cassidy climbed down the tree and approached in front of her father’s grave as if she was talking to him.

“But should I let my fears control me?

‘Cause I feel so small

In the world full of giants.

We have generations of lifelessness.

It’s no wonder everyone here is dying inside.

If I can change their minds, how will I go about it?

My confidence shrinks, but I will look up.

Just like how I promised you once.”

Cassidy caressed her father’s grave with a small smile to remember her father and she were sitting on the branch she would usually sit on to look up at the stars.

Cassidy sang her heart out, her environment changing all around her. The winds picked up, blowing against her ebony hair and her skirt of her purple dress. She spread her arms out and closed her eyes, not caring if the winds pick her up and carry her away from this place.

“So, I will wish upon the stars tonight

And pray it will be granted.

Natalie’s wish to have courage.

Chalice’s dream to become a top dancer.

Canteen’s desire to own a mechanic shop.

Bowlboy’s wants to be a knight.

Cuphead’s ambition to explore the world.”

Cassidy opened her eyes, sparkled by the starlit sky. She climbed up on the branch of the tree and stood on it, extending her paw out to the biggest star that shined the brightest.

“Now, I make this wish,

To restore the souls deceived by him.

Now, I make this wish,

To restore the souls deceived by him.”

The invisible choir could be heard around her, but she didn’t care where they came from.

“Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah (Now I make this wish)

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah (To restore the souls deceived)

Restore the souls deceived, oh-ah-ah.”

Cassidy cupped the bottom of the brightest star and sang the last part softly.

“Now, I make this wish.

To restore the souls deceived by him.”

The music ended with a high note until the star started to glow brighter. Cassidy was blinded by the glow that covered her surroundings, but something was off. It was almost like it was someone falling towards her. She could see someone being thrown at her with a scream. She yelped and ducked her head, watching the glow flew over her head and crashed through the woods behind her with strange grunts.

She straightened up and widened her eyes to realize that she was covered in sparkles. “Sparkles?” She noticed her dress glowing, causing her to be lifted up in the air. She yelped in fear and grabbed the branch.

“What the heck?” Cassidy gasped and then she fell on her feet on the ground. The feline looked ahead to find the glow in the dark woods. “What…is that?”

~.~

 Cassidy followed the sparkles that create a pathway through the dark forest. She could see the grass became…greener than she expected. The bushes have eyes and mouths that weren’t normal. The trees came to life, watching the red feline making her way through the woods.

“Hello?” Cassidy called the glow in the dark. She finally approached it to find young boy laying up against the tree.

“Shh, he’s sleeping,” the talking tree he was laying up against said to the feline.

“No, I’m not,” the glowing boy groaned. He moved around, his cape covering his entire head. “Man, I should learn to land better, huh?”

He lifted the cape off of his head to reveal a cup headed boy with a big blue nose and a blue-striped straw that stuck straight up. He focused on Cassidy, examining her from head to toe. He then leaned on his side, his hand propping his head up.

“Hey,” the star cup greeted.

She arched a brow at him. “Who are you?”

He hovered off of his feet, causing her to wince at his sudden movement. “Why, I’m the wishing star. Well, my actual name is Mugman. But I’m part of the Wishing Star Legion. You can say I’m kind of a newbie around here.”

He whispered the last part while leaning his elbow against the mushroom on the tree with a smile, leaving gold sparks on the top of it.

“Yeah, he’s definitely a newbie,” the mushroom spoke out nowhere.

Mugman widened his eyes in shock and moved his arm away from the mushroom. “Oops…I did not mean to make you talk.” Mugman shifted his attention to Cassidy. “Heh, sorry, it’s my first time here. Anyways, I’m here right now. What wish do you want me to grant?”

Cassidy blinked in disbelief. “Wait, wait, Wishing Star Legion? I didn’t think that exists.”

“Yeah, no princess knew about the Wishing Star Legion.”

“Oh, no, no, I’m not a princess.”

“Oh, that’s okay, you look like one to me,” Mugman replied. Then he blushed. “I mean, you looked like royalty. I’m sorry for the mistake.”

“And you’ve never been here before.”

“Well, I’ve never been sent here before. I’ve been to this world plenty of times…but, uh, I’ve never been here in…what is this place called?”

“Inkwell Isles.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s right. Well, what wish do you want me to grant?”

“How many can you grant?”

“Well, I’m here for as long as you need me.” He paused for a second with a blush. “I don’t mean that to be a flirty remark.”

She chuckled. “It’s okay.”

“But I am here for as long as you need me. The Fairy God-Kettle created the Wishing Star Legion to grant many wishes around the world. Or if the wishes were bad and unhealthy, we were sent there to help those that wished those awful things change their minds. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. It’s sad when it doesn’t though.”

Mugman looked away with a frown for a second before shifting his attention to Cassidy. “But I’m sure your wish isn’t that bad, right?”

“Well…it’s not bad…but it’s…risky.”

“Risky? Huh, never encountered a wish that’s risky. What is it exactly?”

Cassidy took a deep breath. “I wish to restore the souls to the people deceived by King Luci.”

“Oh, that isn’t bad…but why risky?”

“Because the people I’m wishing for is…mostly everyone here in the Inkwell Isles.”

“Oh…and the souls—did they lose their passion or…?”

“No, the king took the souls from innocent people and had them locked up in the soul vault in some…fiery place.”

Mugman widened his eyes. “It…doesn’t happened to be Hell you’re talking about, right?”

“I guess so.”

The mug gasped in fear. “Oh no, no, no, that’s Hell. And the king…oh, son of a gun.”

“What?”

“That’s the Devil. He’s been devouring souls since the beginning of time. Does anyone know about this?”

She shook her head.

“Those poor people,” he muttered.

“Can you help me? If it’s too much, then I understand if you don’t—”

“No, I will help,” Mugman replied. “But the thing is…I can’t snap their souls back to their bodies. We need to find a way get those souls out of Hell. If I remembered correctly, if we burn soul contracts of the people he took wishes from, their souls would no longer be tied to Hell.”

Cassidy’s smile brightened.

“Hey, there’s this card spying on you both—” the tree next to them said while holding King Dice’s card in its branch.

Cassidy gasped in fear. “Oh no.”

“Oh no what?” Mugman questioned.

“It’s one of the king’s spies.”

“Oh, the Devil’s spies. Say no more,” he responded and took the card to rip it to shreds. He plucked the eyeballs and made them disappeared in his sleeves. “There, now we don’t have to worry about the spies.”

Cassidy took a moment to ponder. “We need a plan to get into the castle and fast. And…I think I might just know the way.”

~.~

 In the early morning, when the bell rang loudly to wake the kingdom, Cassidy had a blue hood, sneaking through alleyways of the town.

Mugman followed behind her, wary of his steps. He seemed fascinated with the city around him until he looked at her, watching her every movement with interest.

However, his attention was off of her, and he noticed a chef pig selling hot dogs with a gloomy look on his face. He read the price for hotdogs was about fifteen dollars a hotdog. It was no wonder the chef wasn’t getting any customers. He covered the price sign with his hand and slid against it, changing it to a dollar and sixty-nine cents with added words, “Buy one, and get two free”. The customers came to the chef pig’s stall in an instant, buying all the hotdogs he could ever imagined.

Mugman smiled and continued with his walk with Cassidy.

He noticed the lady selling fruits and vegetables, but they don’t appear fresh. He walked up to the stall and spread his gold sparkles, freshening up the fruits. The lady seemed shock at the gesture. She took a small bite of her apple, and her confusion melted into a grateful smile.

He gave her a grin back and continued walking with Cassidy.

He noticed a group of children playing, with one of the boys stealing a toy from the little girl. The little girl was left crying and chasing after the boys who stole her toy. With a huff of annoyance, he took the toy from the boy’s hand when the boy ran past him and gave it back to the girl when she came up to him. She held her toy close to her chest, giving him the satisfaction that he helped someone. The toy was covered in sparkles, causing it to come to life in her arms. The little girl almost screamed until the toy showed how friendly it was by dancing with her. The little girl giggled and danced with the toy, who was now her new friend.

He noticed a humanoid lady named Hilda, limping around with metal parts. Her brown short hair frizzy and red outfit falling apart. She looked up at him. She faked a grin, but he could see pain in her eyes. He walked up to her with a sympathetic gaze. He took her hands gently and watched the glow fill her body, getting rid of the red twisted part in her soul. A glow came from her chest, straightening her up. She could walk better now and she’s flying in the air without having limitations and hurting from flying so much. He beamed when he watched her take off.

He noticed an elderly woman sweeping near the fountain, sweeping all by herself. She appeared to be slow, her back pain bothering her. He rubbed his chin and snapped his fingers, making more brooms appear with arms and brushes as their feet. Her broom came to life as well, sweeping the floor around her. She seemed in shock before more brooms showed up and guided her to her lawn chair under the shade of the palm tree. One of the brooms got out a pillow to ease her lower back and the other two brooms helped her sit down on the lawn chair. The other broom showed up with a palm branch and fanned her from the heat. The brooms were multiplied magically and swept the entire square around the fountain.

He caught up with Cassidy as they hid behind the wall. They peeked around the wall to find the entrance of the castle.

“There’s the entrance to the castle. Only Cuphead and Bowlboy knows that secret entrance. Maybe Canteen too since he’s snuck into the castle many times. Or we can blend in with the—.”

She looked back and noticed the brooms cleaning around the square magically while the people behind them seemed happier than they were before. She looked at him, who stared back at her.

“Yes?” Mugman responded.

She smiled softly at him. “Nothing. Nothing at all”

He looked around the town some more. “Man, you guys have so many diverse folks here. Who’s the queen?”

“King, actually. Two kings ruled the kingdom.”

“Oh, wow. Most countries don’t have that.”

“Mugman, I need you to focus. We can take the secret way or we can enter through the entrance.”

“We can split up and try both ways.”

“Great idea. We can meet in the closet in the kitchen. Or wait…you can teleport us there, right?”

“Well…if the castle is magic resistant, we can’t really risk it,” Mugman responded.

“Okay, then let’s split up. And don’t try to stand out,” Cassidy whispered to him before taking off to find Cuphead and Bowlboy.

Mugman snapped his fingers to disguise himself with a spark.

Meanwhile, Cassidy snuck through the plaza and reached for the stables at the back of the castle. She noticed Cuphead and Bowlboy working raking the hay. She decided to hide within the pile Cuphead was working on, but was stopped by someone.

She gasped in fear until she realized that it was just Canteen.

“What are you doing?” Canteen asked.

“Uh…sneaking into the castle,” she answered.

“Oh cool, I know a shortcut. It would take long for Cuphead to notice ya anyway. C’mon.” Canteen led Cassidy towards the trimmed bushes, which was noticed by Bowlboy. Bowlboy arched a brow in confusion for a second before going back to work.

Cassidy followed Canteen towards the side door, which they saw King Dice by the front entrance of the castle. She noticed how his arms were crossed with a sneer on his face. He appeared to be angry.

“So, since you’re with me, you get a sneak peek of the latest theory I came up with. So, you know how Cuphead said that the wishes might possibly be locked into a vault yesterday? Well, I thought up a joke-theory that the wishes were not the only ones locked up in the vault, but people’s souls as well. I know that it sounds ridiculous and there’s not enough evidence—”

Cassidy turned her head to Canteen and placed her paws on his shoulders. “Canteen, you can have so many wrong theories or theories without proof. But for this theory, or joke-theory you have, you’re right.”

Canteen blinked in confusion. “Wait, what?”

“You need to swear to me that you’ll never say anything to anyone about it. People’s lives are at risk if this secret gets out.”

Canteen zipped his lips and crossed his heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Which hopefully will be never.”

“What?”

“The mere fact I’m even telling you this is risking your life,” Cassidy responded to Canteen.

“Oh, well, me being here every day is risking my life, sooo, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“What the hell—?!”

Cassidy and Canteen turned their heads to notice King Dice staring at someone in the distance. It was a woman cup with big breasts. She wore a cyan-colored dress, a bright maroon fluffy scarf, and a silver headband with a maroon feather.

“Hi, your Majesty,” Mugman’s voice came in but with a higher pitch in an attempt to sound feminine. “I’m Tallulah. Tallulah Piccolo.”

Cassidy dropped her jaw once she recognized Mugman’s voice.

King Dice arched a brow and smirked. “My, my, haven’t seen you around here before. You must be one of the new tourist.”

“Nah, I’ve been here for a while. I don’t come out much since I’ve been a washed up dancer for years, but I’ve heard that you are holding auditions for dancing and I thought I would give dancing another try,” Mugman answered as Tallulah Piccolo.

King Dice arched a brow. “Huh, I didn’t think we have any auditions for the dances.”

Mugman became discouraged as Tallulah. “Aw, I must have heard wrong then. Well, since I’m here, do you have a bathroom I could use?”

“Uh, yeah, by the kitchen,” King Dice responded while pointing into the castle.

“Thank you, your Highness,” Mugman responded while walking into the castle with his heels clicking on the tile floor.

Cassidy blushed and looked at Canteen, trying to change the subject from what they witnessed. “Can you sneak me into the castle? The others can’t know I’m here.”

Canteen nodded his head. “Yeah. Don’t worry, I got your back.”

~.~

 Canteen and Cassidy hurried up the stairs and towards the kitchen, noticing Natalie and Chalice there. They hid behind the wall.

“Oh no…they’re going to notice me.”

“So, why don’t you want them to notice you again?” Canteen questioned.

“Because it will get them kill if they see me,” Cassidy replied. “The Devil is looking for me by now.”

“The Devil?”

“That’s King Luci’s real name.”

Canteen gasped. “Oh, that makes so much sense. I think I got something to distract the others. Hold on.”

He rushed into the kitchen without Cassidy being aware of what he was doing.

Canteen seemed out of breath from running, catching their friends’ attention. “Guys! I got a new theory!”

“Oh come on,” Natalie groaned.

“I swear, this will be worth your time,” Canteen responded. “Follow me!”

Canteen led them to the broken window. “So, remember me jumping out of the window yesterday?”

“Like a fool,” Chalice responded with a giggling grin.

“What if I told you I thought of something last night about how gravity works and how we control the gravity of our fall?” Canteen asked the girls.

“That makes no sense,” Natalie responded.

“Well, I landed the hay and that broke my fall and—”

“You’re suggesting us to try it?” Chalice questioned.

Canteen started to sweat nervously. “Uh, yeah.”

Chalice looked at him in suspicion before smiling. “Okay!” Immediately, Chalice jumped off the cliff.

“Are you kidding me? I broke my leg jumping off a cliff,” Natalie grumbled at Canteen.

“Oh, you don’t have to jump off if you—”

“Whoa, there’s plenty of hay down here!” Chalice screamed from the bottom.

Natalie and Canteen exchanged gazes.

Natalie sighed. “Here, hold this.” She gave him a crutch and jumped out of the window.

Canteen looked down to find that Cuphead caught Natalie in his arms instead of her landing on the pile of hay like Chalice said.

“DANG IT, CHALICE!” Natalie barked while blushing madly. “I COULD��VE BROKEN MY OTHER LEG!!!”

“At least you got him catching you when you’re falling,” Chalice responded with a wink.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Cuphead replied from the bottom.

Canteen watched from above as Cassidy snuck through the kitchen behind him. When he turned around, she smiled at him.

“Thank you. I owe you one,” Cassidy whispered.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Canteen insisted while holding onto Natalie’s crutch and jumped out the window with a cheer.

Cassidy turned a corner to find the closet door. She saw Mugman, disguised as Tallulah Piccolo, approaching the closet door in the opposite direction when entering into the kitchen. They both hurried into the closet to realize they’re full of chickens. Once Cassidy shut the door behind them, Mugman snapped his fingers and turned into his normal self.

“Okay, now that we’re here, we need a way to get to the Devil’s bedroom,” Cassidy whispered to Mugman.

Mugman kept his eyes on a chicken, tilting his head at the way it moves and pecks at nothing on the cobblestone ground. “Hi there. Can you fly?”

“Oh, no, chickens can’t fly,” Cassidy responded.

The star cup smiled brightly. “Aww, every bird deserves to fly.” When he scooped the chicken up in his hands, the sparkles were on the chicken’s body. The chicken flapped its wings and took off flying around the room.

She watched with fascination, noticing his child-like grin. She couldn’t help, but smiling at his gentleness when he watched the chicken flying around the room. More chickens approached Mugman.

“You guys want to fly too?”

“Uh, Mugman, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea—”

She watched as he sprinkled pixie dust from his hands on all the chickens that approached, watching them take off with their wings flapping around the room. He gasped in fascination, smiling.

She tilted her head. “How are you doing that?”

“What?”

“Do what you do…I noticed people were happier after you walked by them. How do you know what their wish was?”

“Well, people have many wishes. It’s connected to who they are and their souls are what drives them to pursue their wishes. Without their souls, how will they ever obtain the drive to pursue their dreams?”

“Yeah, I guess. I wish that I found out about the Devil taking wishes sooner. I wonder if the generations before knew about this.”

“I highly doubt it. They’re probably dead if they knew. You know, you should consider yourself lucky that the Devil spared you.”

“Why did he?”

“I don’t know…killing you would lead to some suspicions towards him and his acts. Or maybe you got too many people around you already.”

“Not really…”

Before Mugman could retort at her statement, they heard the door opening.

“Say, where’s Cassi?” Chalice’s voice could be heard from the other side of the door. “Has anyone seen her? King Luci and King Dice had been looking for her everywhere.”

“Maybe she’s late again,” Cuphead predicted.

“I saw her with Canteen,” Bowlboy’s voice replied.

“Pssh, what? No, I haven’t seen her at all—”

“Liar, you were with her. You must be taking her somewhere private,” Bowlboy growled.

“What? What on earth do you mean?”

“I mean that you took her somewhere private…just the two of you,” Bowlboy snarled.

“Whoa, whoa, just because you and Cassi used to be together, that doesn’t mean you gotta get possessive over her,” Cuphead responded, attempting to diffuse the situation. “Besides, you guys just broke up three months ago.”

“I’m not being possessive over her!” Bowlboy argued. “I’m just saying. She moved on quick.”

“It’s not like that at all. I don’t even see Cassi like that—”

“SHE’S WITH YOU!!!” Bowlboy pointed out.

“Whoa, calm down,” Cuphead soothed.

“Hughes, you sure you haven’t seen Cassidy?” Natalie questioned.

Cassidy clenched her teeth.

“Nope, haven’t seen her,” Canteen lied.

“Then why are you sweating?” Chalice interrogated.

“What?”

“You sweat when you lie,” Chalice added.

“I don’t sweat when I lie. I sweat when I’m nervous—”

“Of lying,” Bowlboy ended with sass.

“Shh, wait, did you hear that flapping sound?” Cuphead interrupted.

“Oh no. We have to—”

It was too late when Cuphead opened the door and the chickens flew out of the coop and out of the door, blinding Cassidy’s friends temporary until the chickens flew out of the broken window.

Canteen looked into the coop for a second to see Cassidy and Mugman with a small wheeze and shut the door quickly. He stood against the door before the friends glanced back at him.

“Why did you shut the door so quickly?” Chalice questioned.

“Uh, no idea,” Canteen said, starting to sweat.

“You’re sweating again,” Chalice responded.

“W-Well, since we don’t have chickens anymore, what’s the use of this room anyway?”

Cuphead gave Canteen a deadpan stare and moved him out of the way. “Get out of the way.”

“Wait, don’t open the door!” Canteen shouted.

Cuphead opened the door to find nothing in front of them. He stepped further into the coop and looked around before glancing up at the corner of the ceiling by the door and noticed Mugman keeping himself up on the corner of the ceiling, his cape draped down.

“Hey,” Cuphead greeted in the most nonchalant tone.

“Hey,” Mugman responded. “Uh, how are you?”

“Besides seein’ chickens flying and a strange guy hiding at the corner of the chicken coop, I gotta say pretty good,” Cuphead answered. “How about you?”

“Well, I say good. It’s a nice day out,” Mugman replied.

“Sure is,” Cuphead agreed.

Chalice, Natalie, Canteen, and Bowlboy came into the coop.

“What the—?” Natalie gasped.

Chalice let out a giggle. “Whatcha doin’ hiding like that?”

“Uh, nothing. Just gettin’ my daily exercise,” Mugman responded.

“Uh-huh. And how’s that workin’ for ya?” Chalice questioned.

Mugman noticed his legs wobbling. “Uh…well, my legs hurt now.”

Chalice turned to Canteen. “Is this who you’ve been hiding this whole time?”

Canteen faked a smile. “Oh yeah, definitely.”

Bowlboy glared at Canteen. “But I saw you with Cassidy.”

“I don’t know what you’ve seen, man. You must have been seeing things,” Canteen responded.

“Are you gaslighting me?” Bowlboy growled.

“What? No, no, no, not at all—”

“Really, because it sounds like you are—”

“Guys, chill,” Cuphead replied. “Take a pill and chill.”

“Yeah, calm down,” Chalice added while shifting her gaze up at Mugman. “Why don’t you get down from there and we can meet face-to-face—?”

Mugman lost his grip and fell forward with Cassidy clutching at his back. They tumbled onto the ground together, causing the group to gasp in shock.

“By golly!” Chalice exclaimed.

Cassidy and Mugman were covered by Mugman’s cape when they crashed on the ground. Cuphead and Canteen hurried towards them and uncovered his cape to find Mugman on top of Cassidy.

Both Cassidy and Mugman blushed at the position they were in and they looked up to find her friends staring at her with confusion.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Cassidy replied.

Natalie smirked. “Uh-huh, I can see it now.”

Cuphead helped Cassidy up from the ground. “What are ya doin’ with that strange guy?”

“Yeah, what are you doin’ with that strange guy?” Bowlboy interrogated.

Cassidy clenched her teeth. “Guys, look, I can’t say a lot, but…”

“But what?” Natalie asked in concern.

The red-furred feline kept her lips sealed until she sighed. “If I tell you guys this, it will cost you your lives.”

Cuphead leaned in. “Now, I’m interested.”

Natalie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, tell us—”

Cassidy shook her head. “But you’re going to be killed if I tell you this—”

“Does it look like we care?” Chalice questioned. “Just tell us.”

Canteen kept his mouth shut, letting Cassidy do the talking.

Mugman glanced at her, waiting for her to say something.

Cassidy was about to say something and took a deep breath. “Shut the door.”

Cuphead shut the door without hesitation.

She took a deep breath and began, “Yesterday, I was assigned to clean the king’s study.”

“Wow, that’s rare,” Chalice responded.

“No one ever goes in there. How come you’re different?” Bowlboy questioned.

“Is it cool?” Canteen asked.

“Yeah, it is,” Cassidy continued. “So, he told me to never open the black door in his study. Only to clean it. A-And I did. I cleaned it until it opened by itself. I heard someone scream and ran through the door…and-and I was at someplace strange…”

“How strange?” Cuphead asked.

“Very strange. I think Mugman says it’s…Hell. So, I saw a vault. I opened it and…then I saw souls of those that gave their wishes away to King Luci for years.”

The kids gasped in shock, except for Bowlboy, who stared at her with disbelief.

“It’s no wonder everyone looks so tired all the time,” Natalie blurted out.

“Huh, I had my suspicions,” Cuphead added.

“Then…King Luci caught me and…I saw his true form. He’s known as the Devil. I saw him taking wishes along with people’s souls. I-I couldn’t say anything to my family about it. S-So, I wished upon a star for the souls to be restored to the people he deceived and there he is,” Cassidy said, referring to Mugman.

Mugman gave her friends a friendly wave.

Bowlboy glared at Mugman more, his arms crossed.

“So, we’re trying to free the souls from Hell,” Cassidy said with tears in her face. “And now…you guys know.”

Chalice softened her gaze when she noticed Cassidy tearing up. “You okay, girlie?”

“You have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this,” Cassidy replied.

“We promise,” Natalie said with a soft smile.

“Yeah, your secret is safe with us,” Canteen added.

“Are you lying?” Bowlboy asked Cassidy while glaring at Mugman still.

Cuphead gave Bowlboy a withering glare. “What? Do you seriously think Cassidy would lie about something serious like that?”

“She lied about loving me once,” Bowlboy responded.

Cassidy felt her heart sank at the statement.

“You know what. I’m done with this. It’s been three months since we broke up and she moved on with this wishing star guy already,” Bowlboy blurted out.

“It’s not like that…” Cassidy told him.

“Really? Because it’s getting hard to believe you,” Bowlboy responded before striding out of the coop, leaving the door open.

“Bowlboy, don’t be like that,” Natalie called out.

Cassidy frowned and sighed.

“Don’t let what Bowlboy said get to ya, girlie,” Chalice said softly.

“No…he’s right. I thought I did for a while. I didn’t mean to make him feel lied to,” Cassidy replied in a sad tone.

Mugman noticed with a frown and patted her shoulder. “We need to get back to rescuing souls.”

“Well, King Luci is up in his room. He’d been cooped up there for a while,” Natalie responded.

“And King Dice had been hunting you,” Cuphead added. “Do you think he knows about this?”

“I believe so. He wouldn’t send his card to spy on me,” Cassidy answered. “We can’t get in the room if he’s up there.”

Chalice pondered for a moment. “I think I have an idea on how to get him out of his room.”

To Be Continued... 

[alexanderdragonborn]

Milha P.O.V

I can't believe I did that...no remorse, no guilt. I didn't even aproach her. I just killed without heisitation...what have I become?

"Hey Misara?" Lucifer asks

"Yes Beeko"

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you flinch at Windhelm? I wanted to bring it up but you didn't seem to be in the right mindset. You still don't seem to be either. Is something wrong?

"It's a long and complicated story beeko, maybe some other time. I'm going out and setting up camp. Maybe I'll do some swimming."

"Mind if I join you? The camp I mean not the swimming. Although-actually I should just shut up. Let me rephrase that. Can I camp with you tonight?

I chuckled "Sure, I suppose I could use some company. It'll keep my mind busy. Wait a minute...you want to ask me more about what happened don't you?

"Was it that obvious?"

"Very, *sighs* I suppose I can tell you since you trusted me with your past. I'm not giving you the full story yet. But I'm willing to share some of my past with you."

"Sounds good to me. Let's go set up camp!"

#

Maro: My agents have recently acquired the passphrase for their sanctuary. It is "Silence, my brother" every assassin in that hole must be put down! You my friend

Milha: No

Maro: What?

Milha: I said no. I killed their leader. I'm sure they accepted their fate and are awaiting death

Xelzaz: Awaiting death? I doubt that they accepted their fate about that.

Maro: I listen to your friend there. I'm giving you this task. That's an order.

Milha: I don't answer you. I only answer 2 people. Neloth and the Greybreards. You are neither.

Maro: Fine, I'll send my men after them but just know you're missing out on a good reward.

Milha: "I don't care about the reward. The reason I can't destroy them is because of a conflict of interest. Something I can't just push aside.

Xelzaz: Conflict? What conflict?

Milha: Not now Xelzaz, just not right now. I wish you luck on the Dark Brotherhood.

#

Thogra: So, who was it? Your ma or pa?

Milha: Pardon?

Thogra: Who was the member?

Milha: I can't seem to hide anything from you can I Thogra?

Thogra: Baha no you cannot. C'mon you can trust me. I'm going to guess your pa since you never talked about your mom. Then again you hardly talk about your family.

Milha: My mother, she left me when I was young.

Thogra: Oh-oh...

Milha: It's not just that either. I have a brother too. He's not connected to the hist like me and Xelzaz but *sighs* some part of me wishes I could talk to him.

Thogra: That explains a lot. You need to tell them you know? Everyone knows something is off.

Milha: It seems like I don't have a choice do I? I'm just worried that some of them will hate me. Or never be able to look at me the same. I don't even know how to come forward to this. Who do I start with?

Thogra: Well, personally I think you can tell everyone together. But it seems like you and Xelzaz need to talk.

Milha: I suppose we do need to talk. I'll clear the air with him tomorrow. I think I need a drink or sleep. or both.

Xelzaz: talk about what now? I just came in to tell you that supper is ready.

#

Caryalind: It's not your fault.

Milha: What?

Caryalind: I wanted to remind you that it's not your fault.

Milha: Isn't it though? I was a nightmare as a kid. Always climbing on trees that were too dangerous for them to climb on, stealing their weapons and practicing fighting. Always making explosions-

Caryalind: It's not your fault. She left you both to rejoin a family that betrayed her. She left her blood kin for them. She made a choice to corrupt her soul. She chose to abandon her family. I know it's not easy to hear...But it's not your fault.

Milha: Thank you Cary...

*meanwhile in the background*

Remi: See? She's not mad at you. She just needed someone to talk to.

Xelzaz: It makes me feel relieved to know that she's not upset with me. I didn't realize how much it impacted her. She always seems so-

Remi: Headstrong, Brave, Independent?

Xelzaz: Yeah.

Remi: Everyone can't stay strong all the time Xel. Sometimes when making the right choice is difficult.

Xelzaz: I suppose you're right. Maybe now we can rest.

Remi: Now you need a drink. I desperately need to stretch my legs.

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

"Iris," I sighed, and felt my spirit slip away from my body. I saw myself begin to glow, and wondered if all those who faced me saw it too. I knew I was in the spirit world now. Iris only grasped those souls who Hera so blessed. Iris was also known to be an instigator, and she had a way with arson and burning ships. "Does this mean I'm going to die?" I ask, feeling her hand in my left one. I watch my body and her sword begin to fight the crowd.

"No," says Iris. "But you're going to have to heal. Healing is what hurts, feeling the pain, not how it is inflicted. In fact, your body happens to like it. Blame it on the Plutonium build." "Not like... all the time or any situation. My body doesn't like pain or seek it out. It's ready to take it if it has to, though. I think it's more of a smashochist than a masochist," I counter quickly. Iris and I grin at each other with delight. I suddenly realize what's going on. "You're distracting me while I wage my war. Keeping my hopes up so I can keep fighting," I say, still watching the battle with interest. My body is getting really good at lopping off heads. Iris pouts at me, "I am. But, you didn't even say my name. You called for someone else in your darkest night. My pride was hurt."

"Yeah, I'm sure that was pretty annoying on your end," I say with a wince and a nod.

"I mean I'm used to it. Everyone always calls on him when they want inspiration or something to happen quickly. When they want a muse. What is more swift than a rainbow? What is more quick than lightning? I have both and am the daughter of the very skies and still they call for him," begins Iris in a monologue that begins increasing in both speed and volume. Her hand gestures also get more animated as she begins to pace. Can anyone really blame the goddess of the rainbow for a bit of a vanity? She gestures to her feet, and then to her scepter, the jewels forged into the wooden staff glowing in multiple colors that matched the passion of her ranting.

"Don't I also have the winged shoes?! These braiding serpents and the starfire fused into a sacred branch my father himself chose from the heart of a holy tree? They call on me for rain but never for inspiration, or even like you, for salvation. I have harvested the brave souls of Dido and Joan of Arc and all the other mortals of the spheres that gave their life to inspire people and things that changed the world. Just as much as him," she said, glaring at me.

"And yet you brought him anyway. Doesn't that say something about your love for me? I didn't even ask you, and yet you still looked into the deepest parts of my heart to show me again who I was. I had completely forgotten. You chose me over any pride or vanity you had, especially considering how I treated you. You've saved my life over and over with the stories we tell ourselves together. The worlds you have taken me to. The songs we sing and love. That was all you and all me. You never let me lose hope, even when I have every reason to. You've always been there. And it makes perfect sense that you're upset that I didn't call out for you when I needed someone most. You've always had a song or a story or a way of showing me how to look at things that got me to this point," I say all this in a stream of consciousness, and for the entire time the goddess stands still. Usually she is orbiting me when I speak to her. It always makes me dizzy.

"You really did learn how to stand up for yourself better. You've improved your emotional management skills and you're more aware of how to change your own behavior. You don't... exactly follow what you know yet," Iris says, glancing over to the battle and then back to me with a smile. "It's all integrating however my body allows it to," I say with a wave of my hand. "I think our entire triad put points into stubbornness." Iris considers this, and nods thoughtfully.

"I won't forget you again. I promise," I tell her softly.

She nods again, and looks back at the battlefield. She's forgiven me, I know, but she still holds some sadness about the situation. I know it will ease with time. She's good with her raining melancholy, and lightning bolt spite, but she loves being the aspects of a delightful rainbow the most.

"You'll win this. You will be okay, but I know it's scary. Just keep talking to me and we'll figure it all out. You're only lost when you forget that I'm here waiting to help you. Like I said, there's not many that call on me. Not like you always have. I love being your friend." Now it's my turn to look at the battle, overwhelmed by all that she has to say. I'm glad I'm not in my body. The biochemical reactions of my earthen form would be wild right now. The spirit may not embody emotions, but we're still aware of them. "I'll remember that. Can I ask one question, though? You have to promise not to get mad," I say, looking over my shoulder to regard her closely. "I promise," she says, instantly curious. Curiosity is always her first instinct. "Does he think about me too?" I ask.

"All the fucking time," she giggles.

"Good," I say with a smirk and look back at the war.

“Pick a god and pray” they said, and you did, praying to every god you knew. And as you did this a name popped into your mind, one you didn’t recognize, yet you prayed to them all the same. In response the air stood still, like even the world had forgotten their name.

[jacobgdavis-blog]

BACK TO SCHOOL

Josie’s 3rd grade teacher at Chisholm Elementary requested that each parent write an email to the teacher “in a million words or less” about their kid. I wrote about Josie Belle.

—————————

Mrs. Whaley,

Thanks for asking for some personal thoughts on the kiddos. I think that is a great idea and will be a good reference if you ever need it. I’m happy to write a bit about Josie.

Jacob Davis

—————————

August 22, 2024

Josephine Belle Davis (“Josie”) is a wonderful/easy child. She was the first child of my wife (Penny) and me after having been married 11 years. She has a younger sister named Juniper (“Junie”) who is 6yo and in Mrs. Brown’s 1st grade class here at Chisholm. I like to jokingly say (to adults) that they’re my “pride and joy, respectively.” Josie is brilliant with a curiosity and an appetite for knowledge that outpaces any kid I know while Junie is a social butterfly and always the “life of the party.” Of course, Josie brings us a ton of joy too. It’s just something descriptive I say about them occasionally.

Josie is not without her quirks. We’ve learned that she has a tendency to feel overstimulated by loud sounds and big crowds (example: at a loud concert). Her first time at Chisholm’s Friday Charge-Up resulted in her fainting! She handles Charge-Up better now, but she may carry some noise-cancelling headphones in her backpack that she used to wear in earlier grades and may have with her “just in case.” When she’s overstimulated, she gets quiet and may not even answer direct questions such as “what’s wrong, Josie?” Other times, she can be very good at identifying potential anxiety-inducing situations before they happen and communicating her feelings. But don’t be too surprised/alarmed if she goes quiet on you. She’s okay, but may need some quiet time away from whatever chaos is going on. We still push her, when appropriate, to brave-it-out thru these situations when they’re unavoidable (or just not that big a deal).

Academically:

Academically, she’s a whiz. She knew her multiplication tables in Kindergarten (with some help at home and thanks Netflix’s “Numberblocks” show), she can identify obscure countries on a globe and flags of countries like a savant (the Olympic Opening Ceremonies are her “national flag-identifying Super Bowl” 😂), she likes trivia, and she has an interest in some current events and history. Right now, before bed, we read a little bit about a historical American President. This week, for example, we read about JFK and Teddy Roosevelt. Don’t be surprised if she tells you something about the Cold War. 😂 She loves to read on her own too. She is halfway thru Harry Potter 4 right now. I can’t even keep up with her.

Temperamentally/socially:

Josie has a big heart and is sensitive. She keeps a tighter/closer circle of friends than her younger, social butterfly sister does. Josie is more like her introverted mom in this regard, and Junie is more like extroverted me. Surprisingly, Josie doesn’t show a ton of affection. She’s not a very touchy-feely person outwardly despite being a warm and sensitive soul inwardly. We’re working on helping her speak up because sometimes, she speaks so softly. But when she finds something she likes or is interested in, she gets very chatty. She communicates exceptionally well verbally and in writing. She’s not interested in boys/romance yet. Not sure if and when that will happen. 🤷🏻‍♂️ She’s confident in who she is despite a quiet exterior.

Interests/Extra-curricular:

Josie plays piano, does aerial gymnastics, and plays basketball. She used to play soccer. She’s in the beginning stages of being able to ride a horse by herself thanks to her Grammy. She absolutely loves animals, especially her 1.5yo weenie dog, Jasper. She doesn’t get grossed out by touching snakes and bugs (we live out in Jones). She teaches herself things. She’s extremely physically flexible and practices yoga in her room along with some kids’ yoga tutorial videos on the iPad. She is an artist and shocks us by what she can draw and create. She is in GATE and loves it. She also just joined the Girl Scouts. Her interests are endless. We have to sometime pick-and-choose what to formally get her involved in because otherwise, it would take all of our time and money. 😂 She is obsessed with Taylor Swift and knows all of her lyrics (including knowing which songs have bad words and not saying them 😉). She has watched TSwift’s 3-hour Eras Tour concert on Disney+ more times than I can count. She also likes Michael Jackson, Weird Al, and OKGO music videos. She knows music. Ask her the lead singer of Queen or Coldplay. 😉

Josie actually cried after the last day of school in 2nd grade because she loved school so much. She had a special connection with Mrs. Jungers (1st) and a strong one with Miss Foxx (Kindergarten). I suspect she’ll come to have a strong connection with you too.

Every parent thinks their kid hung the moon. We are no different, but we are not afraid to hear rough news if she’s struggling or is misbehaving. We know she’s not perfect. She’s a gem though. Thanks so much for being a teacher that is so interested in her students.

Sincerely,

Jacob and Penny Davis

P.S. Josie found out the truth about “Santa” but won’t spoil it for other kids. We haven’t had the “sex talk” yet, but I suspect that will happen this year. Pray for us. 😉🙏

[dpomalescreative]

BLoG: Receiving a Medal with a Message!

I received this medal from a small 5Krace I photographed just yesterday. It was a moral builder for a company, so there were maybe a few hundred in attendance. It was quite enough for 1 photographer to handle, but something we are highly trained to handle. Though I did not run the race I was running around trying to capture the many areas of interest. As a momento of their appreciation they gave me a medal for my participation in capturing the many moments that transpired throughoutthe 2 hour event. It was a very kind gesture indeed from the client as these medals are fairly heavy in weight and must have cost them a pretty penny, so to speak.

And today when I pulled it out of my pocket, it's message struck a chord in me. It is a New Year after all. It is indeed a BOLD NEW ERA for me, if I will it to be. Coincidentally, I am making some changes this year, behind the scenes, to improve the longevity and productivity of DPomales Creative Services. But Time will only tell how well we accomplish our goal...to leave a legacy of some sort. Or to make some sort of profound impact on those who seek out our help or look to us for answers in the form of our various manners of support that DPomales offers. We are here after all to provide business solutions that work and count.

A BOLD NEW ERA... is an amazing way to look at the possibilities of tomorrow and our future beyond today. Though we must live for today, there is nothing wrong with planning for our futures. It takes a brave soul to set out on such a journey. After all we must look past our horizon to see the bigger picture. It is a commitment to seek out new opportunities, new relationships, new projects, new everything. It is time to stop doing what doesn't work and start to discover new ways to make things happen or bring to fruition. Bottom line we have to find out what does work and focus on those elements. So here's to a BOLD NEW ERA and a Fantastic NEW YEAR!

We are here for you whenever you are in need. We offer various levels of support in a number of industries. So it's definitely worth a chat to say hello and see how we can benefit each other. What we offer are the most creative and diverse support services in the areas of: Photography (all niches), Graphic Design, Branding and Marketing, Print, Content Creation, Event and Location Management just to name some of our more popular services. Collectively we have 30 plus years of experience to offer. So how can we help you?

#business101 #business101 #supportservices #support #dpomalescreative #dpomales #awards #bloggerlife #blogger #blogging #happynewyear #boldnewera

[mubal4]

The Journal Journey Part 85

It has been a while since I’ve put out one of these. Yes, life has been busy – for everyone out there, and honestly, I haven’t made writing a priority. Hell, the podcast isn’t something I’ve been putting out consistently each week; been dripping those episodes in as well. Priorities shift, life does change, and we must pivot and lean towards those things that will provide us with the most growth, satisfaction, and gratitude. Those things that sustain us and fulfill us. “Those things,” fluctuate and change as our journey’s evolve. We shouldn’t apologize for that, and we must embrace that which is current and present. I fail at that often! When I feel like I am getting sidetracked, maybe “falling off,” my commitments, I could beat myself up. I am getting better at offering myself grace and forgiveness. Maybe that change, or pivot, is just what we need at this current time?

This time of year, this month to be honest, tends to slow down for us. With vacations, travel, and everyone being home, typical routines and commitments get upended. I tend to go into myself during July and reflect on the first part of the year, what’s to come, but I try to enjoy this phase that we are currently living in. The entire family is home and we’ve spent a great time throughout the early part of summer with so many family members, friends, and loved ones. We were able to create memories and experiences. That time is special…..TIME is special. Sometimes when my routine and commitments change, I feel guilty because, “am I not fulfilling my potential and am I taking it easy?” I am learning that soon enough, just right around the corner, the routine and commitments that are hit on so often throughout the year, will be top priority. No is the time to live in this moment, creating these memories, and these experiences.

Wasn’t planning on a lengthy opening. Guess I was catching up on lost TIME 😊!

Few from Jack Canfield:

“What wisdom will you learn in this lifetime that you can continually share?” – Endless in my belief. That is what this entire journey has been all about – the blog and podcast! Sharing all the nuggets of wisdom and lessons that we’ve been blessed with by so many of these leaders and brave souls that have come before us. They were courage enough to share their stories, I feel it is my duty to pass them along. I don’t know if anything I share isn’t from some great individual that I’ve been grateful enough to learn from. I know there are often times I share nuggets more than once. Part of that is because they are so good, the other is that I forgot that I’ve shared them before 😊! We all have talents, treasures, and nuggets to share – it is our responsibility to do so!

“Are you able to let go and live based on faith and by love?” – Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Touched on this a bit in the opening. My wife Robin is great at letting go and living by love and faith. That has been a piece of wisdom she has provided me with, or at least continues to. I am consistently challenged with letting go – I want to figure it out or solve the problem…..or be prepared. Rather than letting life happen. I tell myself each day, let go, let God, let life happen, it will pass! Like most things, the more I practice and the more I commit to it, the better I become. It is an ever-evolving journey. Embracing the challenge and being able to see how we can grow, and change, keeps life interesting, and challenging.

Darrin Bentley: “The moment you become comfortable with any part of your life you are basically saying, ‘I’m happy with not growing.’” – I believe this is true to a point. Hell, I though this was gospel about a decade ago. However, because of my “growth” over the years and the wisdom I’ve been able to digest from so many, I have some perspective. Take what I believe is my mission, be a better husband, father, and huma being. Well, I am comfortable with the husband, father, and human being I am today. I am proud of each of those people I’ve become along this journey. If I could go back 15-20 years and share who I am today with who I was back, then – I’d be 100% comfortable with that! Here comes the but – I am not comfortable with the husband, father, and human being I am going to NEED to be as my journey continues. Each day of our life, and each phase in our life, requires us to be something more than we are today. Each step we take is part of the process of learning who we must become in order to grow and tackle what lessons are coming. I am comfortable with who I am today, but I know that I must continue to learn and grow to be able to figure out what’s to come.

The journey is constantly changing and who we’ve become to this point, I believe, is great to have gotten us here, but is it enough to get us to that next best version of ourselves? If you believe that, I applaud you – congratulations. For me, there is still a long journey ahead and I’m interested in seeing who is it that I am supposed to become!

[rapunzel-off-duty]

22 Things I Learned in 22 Years

Music is the food for my soul; so does everyone else. Stop gatekeeping! (This goes even for the making the music thing, not just the listening)

You don't need to go to that concert if your goal is to post it on Instagram afterwards. Who cares if "I was here"? You. If you really want to come, being there should matter to YOU. Otherwise, go listen on Spotify or watch on YouTube instead.

It will suck. And then it will get better. I am in a point of my life where things are transitioning—sisters talking about dating, marriage, and having their own families; health becoming more important; building a career; starting from scratch—everything happens so fast and everything seems scary. It will get scary. You won't always know what to do. It's okay. You'll figure it out... or not, which is also okay. But it's not gonna be the end of the world. There's so much more to learn and grow from.

Read books. Watch movies and series. Play the guitar. Gift your family with crocheted pieces. Do what you love and never feel guilty for it!

Stop regretting and start showing up instead. You will never have to regret anything if you have already done or not done something with intentionality at the time. In another time it might sound wrong, but as long as you are intentional with your decision at the time, you are okay.

It's brave to acknowledge when you can't do something. Just know that the next step to that is to know how to do it. Practice and eventually master it.

The world is not gonna stop spinning if you do not get that tweet out. Sometimes, it's good to have an outlet, but please let the intention be that you will be able to release what is on your mind, not to have people agreeing or praising you.

The things that you care about, may also be the things that the people who care about you care about. You are not alone.

Stop isolating yourself. There are people around you who would want to listen to your stories and be inspired by your amazing ideas. Talk to people!

Deep and willing connections are better than the many shallow and forced ones. Do not go around chasing relationships to grow, allow it to fall into place... slowly, but surely.

Stop!!!!!!! Relying!!!!!! On!!!!!! First!!!!! Impressions!!!!!!!

You are going to meet someone who is matured enough, worthy enough, and qualified enough for your standards. Do not settle for less or lower your standards just because everyone is telling you to or so that they will be able to meet you at some point in the scale. He'll find you. Just stay where you are while you're building yourself. While you're attracting the right one, be the right one.

Are you going to make the world a better place with what you're about to say? No? Okay, shut up. Write about it, sing about it, cry about it but shut up.

Work out. Eat healthy. You're not getting any younger and even if you ARE young, it's not an excuse to indulge in that unhealthy fast food meal for days.

Sunscreen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even when you're indoors

Go after what you want. It's not bad to ask for what you want sometimes as long as you know you've earned it.

Walk. Watch people. Smile at a stranger. Be kind. Have seconds-long connections and wish them well, even if you will never see them again.

You are not a pick-me girl for being different as long as you know that's who you really are and those are the things you are interested or are not interested in.

Spend time with the people that you love. Choose them above what is expected of you to do or the people you're expected to be with.

Never procrastinate but YOU always come first. That paper will not write itself but if you cannot function at the moment, let it flow. You eventually will. But don't punish yourself for resting.

Pray.

You are beautiful and you are capable. There are times when you will feel like you're a fraud and incompetent for everything, but you're your worst critic. Everyone else doesn't think that way about you... If they're even thinking about you (and that's the cool thing about it! Everyone's busy thinking about themselves and how you would also judge them but no one really cares! Yay!) You have the opportunity to also think about yourself, so think about yourself. Think about how much of a wonderful person you are!

[septembersghost]

i wrote some of this in a message to someone, but i feel like actually posting it publicly.

earlier today, i watched a video analysis/response to midnights from a french lit professor (i've seen a couple of the ones he's done before, he started with lover and is very admiring of her talent, and his analysis is engaging even when we have different opinions), who called this her best album, but what was interesting to me is that even though he loved it and praised its artistry/lyricism/sonic qualities, he also doesn't (by his own admission) really "get" it insofar as relating to her not only as the artist, but as the human being she is. he kept mentioning he's not a swiftie, ie: he knows very little of her personal life, he doesn't know if she's with the "same guy" that was mentioned on lover (someone please tell him about joe and the william bowery of it all because he was so moved by sweet nothing!), doesn't know much of anything about her, he's just responding to the music. which is lovely and usually totally fine! there's no other album where i'd say, "well, actually, you really do need to know!" (maybe rep, but not to this degree), because every other album could, in a sense, be depersonalized for the casual listener and still appreciated and enjoyed. i think knowing about her elevates them all, and is valuable to understand the meaning of her writing, and taking that away altogether can be dehumanizing and diminishing of her, but still, the music is enjoyable independently of that.

but on midnights? you need to fundamentally know her stories, and something of the journey of her life, to be able to comprehend what she's talking about, why it affected her, why she's revisiting it, why certain things haunt her, why certain things sustain her, where she is in her life and love now. why some of it is so reflective and raw and visceral. why "i'm the problem, it's me" isn't some admission to hold against her, or only a wry joke, but also profoundly self-loathing and wounded, what the "everybody agrees" signifies in her head, or the admissions and hurt and then resilient tonal shift in "you're on your own, kid." midnights is all her. it's from her entire life and soul, laid out unflinchingly. and i just keep thinking about how brave and almost audacious that is of her, when she knows she's been so scrutinized and so speculated about, when she knows that those of us who care about her as a person AND as an artist follow her individual stories and path, for better or worse, and when she knows that critics praised her for pivoting into "fiction" (even though folklore and evermore have so much of her and her reality in them), as if it was superior and easier to take her seriously only if she wasn't explicitly talking about herself.

this, to me, is hugely taking her power back, as much as the process of re-recording is. taking ownership of how her life and her art is hers. there are her stories, and this time she's asking us to step into her world and her perspective, to accept that as her daily existence and her history, in order for this album to be fully effective, to have its intended resonance. she's asking us to remember and recognize what she's written about before, as she explores it with a more mature and raw and intimate sense.

@cowboylikedean and i were talking about how this is taylor at her most honest, and how moving it is that the response to this album has been so massive. she is being embraced in her truth, as her whole, authentic self. she doesn't have to be polished or perfect, she only has to be taylor. i said, "the real, true taylor is so special and brilliant and beautiful, and that's her best self," and zoë said, "she was always enough, just as she is." it's an extraordinary thing to witness. i feel so blessed that i got to be here to see it happen. i love her and am in awe of her, and that's nothing new, but it's so profound here. it just, well, hits different on this record.

[ddoxhan]

brave

I was always a step behind you, but let me take another to be with you.

word count : 1.2k words

genre : fluff, slight angst; yizhuo being the greatest gift in your life but you're not sure whether she feels the same; gn!reader

tw : profanities (a few)

status : one-shot; pt 2/2; part 1

a/n : may everyone be brave for their love :3 enjoy !!

"ayo, what's up?"

you were chilling and doing your assignment at one of the study areas before someone took the seat in front of you.

"assignments as usual, what answer did you anticipate from a college student?"

"the sky?"

your dear friend's response had you whip your head up from your papers to give her a 'done' look.

"what? you're welcome for letting you experience my humor."

"another day of reminding me that you and yizhuo are besties for a reason."

chuckling as you heard yizhuo's voice in your head, the girl in front of you begged to differ.

"hey, that lil shit better show herself soon cause she stole my bag of chips yesterday."

"as far as I know, your lil shit is still in class and she'll be here in some time."

noticing the slight change in minjeong's eyes, you can only pray for yizhuo's soul since the girl is serious about her food. and you were right with how she was willing to wait here for her victim to show up.

"but one thing."

minjeong caught your attention, giving her your fullest.

"what does ning mean to you?"

"…"

you couldn't speak, more like you didn't know what to speak. it's been a while since you realized you saw yizhuo as more than a friend. however, what the person you liked felt was unknown to you.

"I know you really do like her, but keeping it to yourself really isn't gonna do good for both of you."

you'd continue hurting yourself, and she'd continue to stay single and be available to everyone out there."

not knowing how the conversation came to this point (simply forgetting that you two talked about this a few days ago), you could only close your eyes and imagine the worst scenarios possible if you do confess your feelings.

you won't lie, you were afraid of what the confession would do. the consequences you have to bear for your actions and the consequences you made yizhuo bear with your actions. you were so sure that she would reject you, not even letting yourself breathe in the slight hope there is.

she has so many people around her, being the social butterfly she is. she's lovable, responsible, caring and every nice adjective out there that can describe how amazing she is. yizhuo was so amazing, you felt you didn't deserve her. as your girlfriend, as yours.

"let me ask you. what do you think is gonna hurt more? a love not returned or a love left untold?"

it was like minjeong smacked you behind your head, she gave you your answer as you were too blinded with all the fixed possibilities you think would turn out to be facts. if you don't tell her how you feel, will you ever know that she would return them?

"thanks minjeong, and I need to borrow your bestie for the time being."

and you ran off, ran to yizhuo's class as it had just ended. you needed to get her, the sooner the better because your heart was beating too fast, from both the running and the confession you were about to do.

from afar, you could see her figure walking towards your direction when you made the turn. she didn't expect for you to come all the way to her class as it was quite a distance from where you were at.

"what are you doing here?"

"I have something to say, but can we go somewhere else?"

dragging her along by her wrist, you didn't give her time to process everything that was happening. when you found yourselves at the campus garden, you stopped to look at her eyes, taking in the galaxy you swore could have you staring at them for hours.

silence engulfed the air around you two, soft ambience of the wind accompanying it. yizhuo felt slightly flustered from your heated gaze, the floor suddenly a lot more interesting than the person in front of her.

"ning yizhuo, my eyes are up here."

"what do you wanna tell me?"

"…"

you brought her up here but it was your turn to stay silent. before you said 'f*ck it' under your breath.

"I like you."

yizhuo's big doe eyes just widened even more when she heard those three words from your mouth.

"ever since that school festival back when we were 15, I fell for you when we were under the fireworks.

"actually, you know what. I don't like you, I love you."

"I love you, ning yizhuo."

the said girl froze in her spot like a statue. you couldn't read her mind, for once you actually couldn't see through what was behind that look on her face. but you did know that this was it. there was no turning back or taking back what you've said and you two could become strangers after this.

you didn't want to let you feelings just stay the way it was minutes ago. untold, unknown, unrequited. a chance was all you needed, it was there already since the day you fell for her. just that, you were too much of a coward to confess. and her too.

"I love you too."

that unreadable expression loosened to a relieved one, it was as if she had been waiting for you to say it.

"I'm sorry you had to be the brave one."

"wait, you like me also?"

"umm, more than that? I literally said I love you."

"hold up, let me process this."

"maybe this would help."

and before you knew it, something soft planted on your lips. ning yizhuo was kissing you. NING YIZHUO. KISSING. YOU. as if your unattended desires took over your body and mind, you returned it to her. deep and passionate, you poured whatever feelings that you had kept under her radar into that kiss.

although it was a public area on campus, none of you could care, not when the confession was overdue for years. pda was the last thing on your head as you pulled her waist against yours, feeling the intimacy burning you up.

it wasn't lust, but compassion for each other. you would love to do this all day but your cardio was on the ground as you leave her lips first. yizhuo was flushed and so were you.

"that was.. hot..."

"agreed..."

as you shared eye contact, it was as if you and her understood whatever that had been pressed deep down all this time. words weren't needed, and it amazed you.

"so, girlfriend?"

she raised her brow at you with the 'are you serious' face. well, you couldn't help but confirm it as this very moment feels like a dream that you don't wanna wake up from.

"are you slow or are you dumb? of course!"

an awkward laugh left your swollen lips from the kiss (or make out at this point). holding out your hand, yizhuo took it in hers as you two make it back to where you ran from and letting her know minjeong was waiting for her.

"is it because of the chips cause if it is, I'm out of here."

"chillax, if she does anything, you have me, don't you?"

"you've got a point. I guess we can go and see if my gal's still mad or not."

and again, the conversation went on as usual. knowing each other for so long, comfortable was the word for the relationship but the butterflies never died. for you as well as yizhuo.

the day where you could call ning yizhuo your girlfriend finally came, and it was because you were brave for your love.

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[captains-simp]

Wanda Maximoff ~ Bottled Up Feelings

Wanda Maximoff X fem!Reader Smut

Word count: 3,139

Includes: oral, fingering and scissoring

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Thank you for this." Your brunette friend said with a small smile for what must have been the hundredth time that night.

The team had been on a long, frustrating mission that had everyone exhausted. All anyone wanted to do was put their feet up or sleep the year away, eventually going off to do just that.

You and Wanda hadn't parted since you got back. You hadn't even needed to suggest a movie marathon as the pair of you went back to Wanda's room almost the moment you landed purely out of habit, after getting popcorn of course, and made yourself comfortable on her bed that had come to be as familiar as your own while Wanda scrolled mindlessly through Netflix.

Once you decided Wanda was taking too long looking for a movie you decided to steal the remote (claiming it was payback for all of the hoodies she had stolen from you) eventually streaming a series of some of your favourite horror films - something Wanda wasn't so keen on.

When you finally decided to call it a night on the movies Want a had been adamant you stay the night with her, telling you if you tried to get up to leave she would keep there with her powers. You weren't entirely sure she was joking.

You hardly needed the persuasion, you were always happy to spend time with your friend and you were glad she felt the same way.

When you came out to her a year ago she had been so understanding and supportive, much to your relief. Nothing changed between you and she never acted weird or uncomfortable around you like you knew some people would. She told you to stay in her room and sleep in her bed just as much as you had before. But that wasn't something you weren't sure if you should be happy about.

You had had a crush on Wanda for the longest time. As time went on you spent considerably more time together it was hard not to crush harder. Everything she did made your heart flutter. And those sleepovers? The way she always cuddled up into your side, the soft smile that played on her lips, the joyful laugh that filled the room (especially when it was from something you said), it had been impossible for you not to fall inlove with your best friend.

You had wondered before if Wanda was strictly into guys. It was impossible to tell with her as she never talked about crushes and became closed off when the convosation arrived. For all you knew she could be asexual or aromantic.

You tried not to be disappointed at that thought as you knew you should support her no matter what, but you couldn't shake the feelings you had for Wanda and that filled you with guilt.

It was only out of respect that you never made a move on her. You wanted to know she was open to something with a girl before you tried anything. And you didn't want to throw away what you had. That thought alone was enough to keep you in your lane.

Whenever you voiced these fears to Natasha when she told you to do something about your feelings (because you couldn't keep anything from the superspy) she told you that relationships were like a gamble. You could either throw the dice or skip your turn. It seemed the latter was becoming more likely.

"Stop thanking me!" You exclaimed with a smile as you pulled the duvet back and lay down next to her.

Wanda had often asked you to stay the night with her. A couple of times she had come into your room at ungodly hours of the mornings and asked to sleep in your bed which you always welcomed with open arms.

You knew her nightmares could be unkind, memories from her past resurfacing and her fears being acted out in scarring detail. She never wanted to talk about it though, so you comforted her by wrapping your arms around her tight and letting her know she was always going to be safe with you.

She seemed to think she burdened you with her worries and fears, but that was never the case and it never would be. You loved her and you would do anything for her.

Wanda was laying on her side with an amused grin and propping herself up on her elbow as she watched you get comfortable. She looked adorable. Wanda always did. You mimicked her position to face her and noticed she was studying you.

"Penny for your thoughts?" You asked in a light hearted tone and saw her smile in response.

"I already have plenty of pennies, thanks." She smiled and glanced away. It took everything in you not to kiss her there and then.

"Really, what's on your mind?" Wanda looked at you a little longer, as though contemplating her words, before speaking.

"What happened with that girl you met last week?" She asked curiously.

Now that was new. Wanda knew you hooked up with girls every so often (she didn't know that it was a lame attempt to get over the fact you were deeply inlove with her) but she never asked about them.

"Just the usual stuff." You shrugged as though the question hadn't taken you by surprise.

"What's the usual stuff?" You looked up at her to meet her eyes that didn't hint at any obvious emotion. She had beautiful eyes, they were perfect. Brown swirls that you always thought you could look at for hours, hoping it might really be a window to her soul and you could finally know what was going on in that head of hers.

"We went back to her place and had sex." You said bluntly, not knowing how much detail she wanted.

"Was it good?" Seriously who was she? She never asked you these things.

"Well she didn't need a map." You joked in an attempt to hide your confusion at her newfound curiosity in your sex life. Wanda didn't smile at your words, appearing lost in thought "Why?" You asked curiously.

"Don't you ever get attached? Develop feelings?" She asked, apparently ignoring my own question as she found interest in the pillow you were leaning on.

You could have burst into laughter at her question. You could have just blurted out "that would be kind of hard when I'm already head over heels for you", but you didn't.

"No. I don't see them after." You said, finding an interest in Wanda's pillow too.

The brunette fell quiet, apparently not having anything to say to that, not wanting the rare topic to end you continued.

"Have you been thinking about it lately?" You asked, afraid you were too blunt.

"Yes." She replied clearly. You hesitated for a moment before continuing.

"You want to hook up with someone?"

"Yes- no! I..." She sounded slightly panicked at first, but after a moment her voice dropped and shifted to a undeniably sad tone. Almost hopeless.

"What's stopping you?" You asked gently.

"I just...I don't want it to be with some random stranger." That was understandable. Lot of people felt the same way. Sex could be such a personal and sacred thing to people, something that's held close to their hearts and is purely an act of intimacy. You always thought that was beautiful and whished you coukd experience that. "I want it to be with someone I know... someone I trust and... someone I love." She finally looked up at you again as she breathed out slowly. "The person that I love."

She's in love? It was the only thing you could think. You wanted so desperately to ask who. For how long? When did it start? Why didn't she tell you?

"Who?" You asked. Your voice almost a whisper because you didn't want to risk Wanda hearing it break as you fought back tears.

"You." She replied at the same volume. You froze. Not believing what she said. This was completely uncharted territory for you. You didn't know what you were meant to do. So you did the only thing you knew how to do right. You kissed her.

Your hand cupped her cheek gently as your face became closer to hers, letting her know what you were about to do. She didn't object, instead she closed the distance between you.

Her lips were softer than they looked and felt perfect against your own. It was instantly addicting so you brought your other hand up to cup her other cheek and rolled over so you were partly ontop of her, never once disconnecting your lips.

You kissed her eagerly and longingly in hopes she understood that you had the same feelings for her. You had years of built up feelings to make up for, you were going to make it worth it if it was the last thing you did.

Wanda wrapped her hands around your neck and laced her fingers together as she pulled you towards her more. You happily let her do so and occasionally paused the kiss to let you breathe before going back to her.

You moved your legs so they were straddling Wanda's waist and you could be in the most comfortable position, the very concept of it giving you chills.

Bravely, you swiped your tongue across her lower lip to ask for permission. Although Wanda seemingly didn't understand what you were silently asking for, something that made you smile.

So you gently bit down on her lower lip, causing her to gasp out and moan. You made a mental note of how she responded to slight pain.

You slipped your tongue into her mouth and moaned as you explored it. It was like you needed to memorize every inch of her in case you could never do this again. You needed to treasure the moment and show Wanda just how much you cared.

"I love you too." You finally spoke. You could hear and feel her breath become shaky in nerves and it made you want to hold her close and comfort her forever.

"Show me." She whispered and you smiled.

You kissed her lips again briefly before switching your attention to her jaw. Your hands wandered down to the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head before throwing it across the room.

Your mouth almost fell to the floor when you realised she wasn't wearing a bra, forgetting you had both changed into pjs. It was dark in the room and you hadn't thought about that fact.

You slowly started to kiss down her neck, along her collarbone and finally planted butterfly kisses on her breasts. You heard Wanda gasp out at the motion and softly moan when you took her left nipple into your mouth.

Softly sucking on the bud gently, you pinched the other then switched, ensuring you gave them equal attention but eventually you felt Wanda push your head lower.

You smirked against her chest and oblidged to her clear wishes by kissing lower down her stomach and hooking your fingers under her waistband.

You pulled the fabric down slowly and kissed every inch of exposed skin before throwing the material to join her top.

Then you softly bit down on small patches of her skin and sucking on them softly to leave small marks along her thighs until Wanda grew impatient with you, groaning at what she thought was teasing rather than you cherishing the moment, you would be sure to clear that up layer.

You pulled her panties down and took a moment to beautiful sight before you and heavenly scent that had your scenes on overdrive. You smiled and instantly flickered your tongue against her clit.

She moaned out in surprise and pleasure, closing her eyes and putting her head back into the pillows as she laced her fingers through your hair.

You took two fingers and stroked them along her folds, smirking when you felt how wet she was against your fingers and relishing under the fact it was a result of your actions.

You moved away from her core to look up at her as you licked her juices off of your fingers with a proud smirk.

She stared down at you with lust in her eyes that made her even more beautiful.

Your mouth returned to her but this time sucked on her outer folds that were also soaked with her juices. You moaned into her when her arousal hit your taste buds again and dipped your tongue into her folds.

You dipped your tongue in further and heard her moan out your name, a sound that made your stomach flip. You took this as encouragement and started thrusting your tongue into her at a faster pace and rubbed your thumb in tight circles against her clit.

Wanda gripped your hair tightly as she moaned out more, her legs wrapping around your head perfectly to keep it securely in place as they began to shake.

Her breathing became fast and shallow as her grip on your hair tightened.

You rubbed harder and thrust your tongue faster until you felt a warm, sweet liquid against your tongue and Wanda screaming out in pleasure.

You looked up at her through hooded eyes as you eagerly licked up the cum she had spilt and moaned at the taste of it, instantly planning to taste it again at some point.

She looked so beautiful blissed out, more tender than you had ever seen her.

You leaned up and kissed Wanda passionalty as she did the same. You knew she could taste herself on your lips as you felt her smile against you at that fact.

"Now let me." Wanda whispered, her hand caressing your bare thigh that wasn't covered by your loose shorts.

"Wanda you don't ha-" Wanda silenced you by placing a slim finger over your lips.

"I want to. I want to make you feel good." She whispered again and pulled you closer by the back of your neck to bring you on for another kiss.

You leaned forward and kissed her passionately, not believing how soft her lips were and how perfect they felt against your own, fitting together perfectly.

She pulled you closer before rolling you over in a playful way that made you smile as she lay ontop of you. She kissed a path down you jaw and neck as her fingers continued to tease your thighs.

Her hand then came up to your waistband, momentarily tracing your hipbones, before slipping beneath the fabric of you shorts and panties.

You gasped out as fingers ghosted over your clit then adventures further to your folds.

Her fingers swiped through your folds a couple of times to gather your wetness on her fingers before slipping inside of you.

You moaned heavily at the feeling as Wanda sighed at the feel of your wet pussy around her fingers.

Her fingers extended fully inside you before retreating only to return again faster. You moaned as Wanda memorized every inch of your core and how it felt around her as she fingered you with earnest.

As her pace increased Wanda's free hand landed on your waist, holding your bodies close together as she leant in to kiss you again.

You eagerly complied as her fingers curled to hit an amazing nerve ending that had you clinging to Wanda's back and moaning the loudest.

"Wan..." You chanted breathlessly.

You squeezed your walls around Wanda's fingers as you approached your high. She took this with a new vigour and rubbed your clit firmly with her thumb, causing you to cum with a cry of her name.

She continued to lay ontop of you while you got your breath back, smiling down at you lovingly.

As she sat up slightly you were reminded of just how naked she was, and how she was right ontop of you. You were aching to feel your bare skin against hers.

You placed your hands on her waist and gently pulled her down onto her back as you sat up and grinned at her and the thoughts playing in your mind.

Wanda smiled back at you as she watched you quickly discard your shirt before pulling off your shorts and panties in one.

She bit her lip at the sight of you completely bare to her but you didn't give her a chance to stare as you were already pushing her legs apart and laying between them as you cupped her face.

"I wanna try something." You whispered, as though the experience was a secret that you two would share forever and guard with your lives. She nodded up at you, keeping eye contact as you lifted her left leg up and spread her other leg further apart, giving you the best access to her still glistening folds.

You could hear your steady breathing as you positioned yourself accordingly so your pussy hovered above Wanda's. You lowered yourself slowly and you both moaned at the contact and friction that was instantly created.

Wanda bucked her hips up when your clit glided over hers and your slick came together to help your movements.

You tried not to get too caught up in the pleasure at first, needing to be able to concentrate your attention on Wanda and the best movements.

You soon fell into the right rhythm, your breathy moans filled the room as you allowed yourself to fall flat against Wanda and kiss her deeply.

You hips rotated perfectly, yours and Wanda's folds glided over one another in was a blissful way you had never experienced.

The movements were making the pair of you breathe faster so you abandoned the kiss to place your forehead against Wanda's as your movements became more erratic.

You didn't want to cum until Wanda did, but the familiar coil in your lower stomach was becoming to tighten.

"Y/n!" Wanda moaned as her hips continued to buck against your own. The movements threw you off at first but your hips soon collided into one frantic movement.

You grinded your pussys together with vigour as you both chased your release with desperation, your combined wetness making the most lewd sound echo throughout the room and amplifying both of your arousals.

With one hard thrust of your hips you both came with a loud moan, clinging to each other and foreheads still connected as you rode out your high together, your hips twitching slightly until you eventually fell down beside Wanda, both of you still swimming in pleasure.

"Wow." Wanda barely managed to speak, exhaustion written into her voice.

"I love you." You muttered as you placed your fingers together.

"I love you too." Wanda smiled tiredly as she gave your hand a loving squeeze.