#i need to watch the rest of it because rn it's been like multiple 22 mins of nothing burger

[starpunchsteria]

one piece screenshot redraw because my friend sent me a pic of them and I love Lusan/Sanlu...

Let's hope it's not blurry! OG under cut!

[laufire]

☕️+ 22 episode seasons vs 13 episode seasons

Anonymous asked: ☕️ the shift from 22 episode seasons to 8 or 10 episode seasons

I'm a 22 episode seasons person ALL THE WAY.

I admit, sometimes, shorter seasons are convenient (otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to bingewatch Warrior Nun AND Teenage Bounty Hunters AND The Sex Lives of College Girls in the past two weeks or so lol). There are some shows that don't *need* their seasons to be 22 episodes long; mainly shows that work well as limited series and are designed as such (HBO's Watchmen comes to mind rn).

I wouldn't have complained if say, Killjoys had longer seasons, but I also never felt it hurt for it or that I was missing something. Ditto with Black Sails. Comedies are also more flexible: I don't feel What We Do in the Shadows is missing anything either, for example. Also, as we know, the British do it differently xD, but it's usually fine because the episodes are longer and they know how to work it LOL (Downton Abbey doesn't need any more episodes, IMO).

But for all of those there's at least one other that would clearly benefit of the breathing room a longer season would allow them. Long arcs that build up over a season, sometimes multiple ones? Silly filler episodes that show you new facets of the characters you wouldn't have seen before? More room to experiment with ~quirky techniques or devices, like "AU" episodes or episodes from the POV of a secondary character?

None of that is happening, at least not as well as it used to, in 8 episode seasons ffs. And I miss it, SO much, in current tv. Especially current, because I just get a different ~feeling with shorter old shows: those feel like they were written mindful of exactly how many episodes they had, caring about providing what a 22 episodes long season did in a shorter period, in their own way. Now you get 13/10/8 episodes that are out at once, bingewatched by people in one or two days, talked about for a couple of weeks, and forgotten again that are nothing more than plot moments badly sewed together.

There's a reason why on the past year or so I've enjoyed watching old school shows. Either ones I watched partially/occassionally but never finished (like The Mentalist, Scandal, or even Supernatural), or new ones (like Desperate Housewives or The Blacklist) -even if they give me this specific kind of anxiety where I dread finishing them and running out of content because omg I need more long shows in my life!! xDD.

And the reason why is because I love all of that I mentioned above, all that the 22 episodes seasons can give you like nobody else can! I love the long slow build to plot reveals that this format allows. I love the quirky episodes; sometimes I don't love the individual quirky episode or where it's placed lol, but I love that they exist! I love when writers and directors get to play around a little! I especially love these things in my high-stakes shows, BECAUSE I like that they're high stakes, but the high stakes don't feel as important if I don't get to see the rest, iykwim? You need to know what the character is missing out on. You need to feel that tragedy and that unfairness on your bones. And 22 episodes is the perfect amount to really crush you with all of that.

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

Are you currently wearing anything red?

my red nail polish

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today?

nope

What would you say is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted?

not a fan of christmas pudding but would I say its the most disgusting thing ever? hmmm probs not maybe I need to try more foods and get back to you

What was the last food you got a random craving for?

toast, but that is a daily occurrence

Has anyone/anything made you angry recently?

yes.... I arranged to stay with my friend for a weekend to which she announces that she has also arranged for another one of her friends to stay. So instead of telling her friend that she’s busy, this friend is gonna crash and it made me angry because I wanted to spend the weekend with her, I don’t mind meeting her friends but now they’re gonna be there 24/7. I made my peace with it now

Who did you last go to the cinema with?

probs the same friend mentioned above haha

What was the last song that got stuck in your head?

Little Big Town - Better Man

When was the last time you listened to it?

the other day

Who was the last person to say something thought-provoking?

my friend questioned our group if we think we’re fat phobic so we had an open discussion about it and it got us thinking

On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day?

who knows

How old were they?

probs 22 or 23

What did you/are you having for dinner tonight?

I had steak, yum

Is your best friend in a relationship?

I have a few close friends, some are dating and some aren’t, tis a mixture

How old were you 5 years ago?

17

What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at?

dancing, hehe

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’?

probs Cara :)

What colour are that person’s eyes?

brown

Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating.

CUCUMBER FOREVER

What is your favourite Studio Ghibli film?

hmm haven’t seen many Studio Ghibli films but Howl’s Moving Castle was a rollercoaster, note to self: watch more Studio Ghibli creations

Do you have a favourite hair accessory? What does it look like?

yes and no, I love using sunglasses or normal glasses to push my hair back so its both a hair accessory and isn’t

What’s your favourite type of insect?

one that leaves me alone

What’s your LEAST favourite type of insect?

slugs

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?

Laura!

What’s his/her favourite food?

I do not know haha

Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do?

hmmm it was a stressful day, my dad and brother were driving up to join us for my grandad’s 90th over the weekend but they broke down on the M1 and took the car back to home in a lorry. mum was stressed and I was sad that we wouldn’t have use of our car to travel back in 

When was the last time you went to a fancy dress party?

have I ever? maybe when I was like 10

Who/what did you dress as?

witch?

What genre was the last film you watched? Did you like it?

FANTASY - I re watched Narnia Prince Caspian and oh wow 

Have you made a sandwich today? What did you put on it?

nope I had a salad

Do you remember the last time you overheard part of a random conversation?

nope, I do like to eavesdrop but can never remember what I hear

Did it make you feel awkward?

nah, I doubt it

What were you doing at 10 o'clock this morning?

showering

How many vowels are there in your first name?

3

What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you?

Taylor Swift - right where you left me. It reminds me of my last relationship and it’s literally just ONE moment it reminds me of because the song is about the narrator being left at the restaurant and I can just vividly see the moment when my partner and I went for korean bbq. He didn’t leave me at the restaurant and I don’t know why the song would remind me of that moment besides it being at a restaurant. Crazy how taylor works her magic

What flavour was the last cupcake you ate?

tomorrow evening I’ll be able to tell you because we have cupcakes for my Grandad’s 90th :)

When was the last time you complimented a stranger?

in a pandemic? pfffttt hardly spoken to anyone let alone a stranger

What’s your favourite milkshake flavour?

nutella and oreo

Have you had an interesting or amusing dream recently?

nope they’re all stressful and weird

Do you know how old your favourite actor is?

27

Is there anything worrying you right now?

yes

If so, have you talked to anyone about it?

I want to but I just can’t bring myself to

Is there anything you desperately want, that you can’t have?

bread

When will you next see your best friend?

a couple weeks time but we keep in touch every day

Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight?

read

What’s the age difference between your parents?

5 years

You can only have one flavour of ice-cream for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?

chocolate always

Are there any foods you’ve been craving, or eating a lot of, just recently?

I always crave yoghurt so situation normal there

When was the last time you wanted to do something, but didn’t do it?

I wanted to drive my dad and brother back from the station

Why did you choose not to do it?

I knew it would cause a fight with my mum so I let it go

When was the last time you ate an apple?

within the last week for sure

What’s the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you?

it’s not something they say once it’s more that they keep coming back to say more nice things :)

Have you ever experienced a hangover?

yep

What was the last food or drink that you tried for the first time?

blood orange gin

Did you like it?

yes

What do your friends think of the person you’re currently interested in?

I’m not interested in anyone rn

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ’S’

sausage!!!!

The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do?

waited for my parents in the car whilst our parents went food shopping

Who was the last blue-eyed person you spoke to?

padre

Is there a person you’d like to speak to right now?

I hope to get a response from Rena soon but I can wait

Why that person, specifically?

She has organised a party and I need more details haha

When you woke up this morning, what was on your mind?

It is spider season :/

At this moment, what are you most looking forward to?

CAKE (for my grandad’s 90th bday) and ofc seeing the extended family

Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)?

I do, sea salt, bergamot & another one from & other stories

Are you planning any special outings with family or friends?

YES my grandad’s bday dinner is tomorrow

Who were the last 3 males you talked to?

my padra, mon frere and Yao

Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer?

either nudes or deep reds, difficult to not look like a clown in the latter, that is always the fear

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her?

I don’t :(

Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song?

nope

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ‘C’

chicken!

Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it?

I’m sure Timothee Chalamet does not sure what colour

Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing?

yes

Have you had any caffeinated beverages today?

nope

What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time?

blood orange gin 

Did you like it?

yes

Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind?

so much

The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you?

older

When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused?

mum wanted me to not have so much smoothie but I wanted the smoothie haha

What’s your favourite feature of the person you’re currently interested in?

nobody right now but I always notice a nice smile and kind eyes

How many people have you hugged today?

loads! twas my grandad’s 90th bday - we had the whole family come to celebrate

Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex?

I don’t

Do you remember the first CD you ever bought?

it was probably taylor swift’s 1989 album. If it was the first CD I ever bought I dont know but I sure remember buying multiple copies of 1989 to get the polaroid collection

Is there anyone on your mind atm?

not in particular

The last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone?

nope

Is your birth year an odd or even number?

odd

Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today?

CAKE!

What did you have for lunch yesterday?

fish finger salad!! I hope I’m never too old for fish fingers

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?

Laura

How many different towns/cities have you lived in?

4

What are your parents’ middle names?

Steven & Anne

Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling’s?

nope

How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?

I don’t have any! we used to have bunnies and I would love some more again

Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks?

depends on the mood

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?

Little Big Town’s Better Man is on repeat rn

Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night?

nope

Which friend do you confide in most?

I kinda tell the world my problems hehe

Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes?

either my dad or brother, dad has blue eyes, brother has brown

Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them.

nope

When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong?

I caught this WEIRD bug that would just make me feel awful all of a sudden and then drained my energy. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt it made me miss the normal cold

If given the chance, would you change anything that’s happened today?

the food came later than expected so I would change how much breakfast I had

Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person?

nope

Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you?

It fits my name

Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift?

nope

Have you received any compliments about your appearance today?

yes! my auntie said I looked like a doll and how much I’ve grown since we last saw each other!

Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special?

nope

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you text messaged?

probably

What colour is your shampoo bottle?

pink

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?

she is wonderful but I am not attracted to her in that way haha

Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it?

chocolate & raspberry 

Have you spoken to any of your neighbours today?

nope

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

I'm gonna do it. I'll take all the history asks for 500, Alex!

OKAy. I may have to reblog and do an add-on, because I will almost certainly go over the 250 paragraph limit. ALSO NICE JEOPARDY REFERNCE. Okay, ready? Go.

1: Historical role model?

We could all stand to be more like Julie D'Aubigny.

2: Favorite underrated historical figure?

See above.

3: Funniest historical kerfuffle?

In 1774 Boston's Committee of Safety (John and Samuel Adams as well as Joseph Warren and PaulRevere were on it) was made up almost entirely of patriots, except for one man: Daniel Leonard. They couldn't decide anything important with him around so they would have a fake meeting and then be like OKAY IT'S AUGUST WE'RE HOT AND TIRED, LET'S GO HOME, and then after he'd left they'd lock themselves in a room and have their REAL, TREASONOUS MEETING. Reading about this is objectively one of the funniest things I have ever heard. It's literally the beack house episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine where they have a fake party for Captain Holt.

4: Favorite conspiracy theory revolving around history?

Whatever the fuck the real story of the X FIles was (I've watched the whole thing multiple times and I still don't know what exactly what the point was. DOn't get me wrong I love it. It just makes no sense.)

5: Favorite political scandal to examine?

The XYZ Affair because I was there for it all and it's...a lot

6: Opinion on the presidential assassinations and their impact on America?

I answered this in depth last time I got that question and you can read my response here.

7: Which time period would you like to live in?

Either take me back to the revolution or put me in Victorian England (BARRING MEDICAL NONSENSE AND SOCIAL BARRIERS)

6 (again?!): Favorite historical fiction book?

See the assassination link!

8: Favorite tv show based on historical events, but not really faithful to real life?

Top choices are Outlander, TURN: Washington's Spies, Black Sails, and Ripper Street.

9: Favorite musical based on history?

*sarcasm* Definitely NOT Hamilton whaaaaaaat why would you even assume that?! Ahem. Also Les Mis is cool I guess.

10: Favorite movie based on history?

Wonder Woman!!!

11: Favorite biography?

The Swamp Fox by John Oller

12: If you could prevent one tragedy, which would you choose?

The Trump Administration.

13: Fun fact?

MLK and Anne Frank were born in the same year.

14: Favorite female monarch?

Cleopatra or Mary Queen of Scots.

15: Favorite war leader?

I'm biased but George Washington.

16: Favorite controversial leader?

Winston Churchill

17: Favorite feminist pioneer?

J U L I E D ' A U B I G N Y. Also Mary Read and ANne Bonney my queer pirate gals

18: Which president, in your opinion, was the best speaker?

No contest, Abraham Lincoln.

19: If you would travel back in time and kill anyone, who would it be?

Listen I’m not a fan of these questions when people are like “I’d kill Hitler” etc. bc butterfly effect, BUT The British officer who shot John Laurens can CATCH THESE MF HANDS

20: Opinion on each of the founding fathers?

Oh boy. This is an interesting question at this point in time because I am currently grappling with the fact that the people I worked with did not really believe in equality for all, and the system we built was designed to reflect this. However, it is a system that I believed in and put my everything towards so I have many conflicted feelings toward it rn. Anyway here's the low-down on the major ones. GEORGE WASHINGTON: Good guy, needed to loosen up and not be a slaveholder. JOHN ADAMS: old stinky man. Called me mushroom excrement once. Put him back in the swamp from whence he came. THOMAS JEFFERSON: Rapist. Slaveholder. Really stuffy. Founded an entire political party for People Who Don't Like Hamilton. Fuck him foreverrrr. JAMES MADISON: Friendly with me but betrayed me when Jefferson came back from France. 2/10, cute but do not trust him with your secrets or coffee order. JAMES MONROE: A teenager during the war and I barely ever saw him after that but he was fine ig. ALEXANDER HAMILTON: that me! Made mistakes but all around a cool(tm) guy. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: fresh funky and really funny. Cooler than you'd expect an old man with gout to be.

21: Which leader do you think would make the best spouse?

No leaders are good spouses bc superiority complex.

22: Most pointless war in your opinion?

All. But King Phillip's War was especially whack.

23: John Wilkes Booth - crazy or crazy with a cause?

I mean of course he had a cause, but it was a bad one and having a cause doesn't make him less crazy. He was...really yikes.

24: Why do you think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK and did he act alone?

Most certainly did not act alone. But I feel based on timeline of events and maps of the area that either he was paid off either by our own government or the Soviets, or one of the two set him up as a patsy. Then Jack Ruby was paid to cover up the tracks.

25: Opinion on assassinations of leaders in general?

Same as killing anyone else, I guess, murder is bad, and I don't think that's really the route that should be taken to remove dangerous parties from power. But in some cases it may be the only way of removing them, and, well, that is what it is.

26: Do you think we're going to repeat history because we haven't learned from it?

Always. It is constantly happening. There is nothing new.

27: Have you ever been teased for being a history nerd?

hahahahahahahahaha yeah. Ever since first grade.

28: Which historical figure do you think has been subject to the most fictionalization and elevated to a godlike status nowadays?

Due to the musical, Alexander Hamilton (me.) People need to realize that I wasn't perfect but also not evil. Just human.

29: Rant about your favorite topic?

See the other part of my Lincoln Assassination rant here

30: Favorite kids/teens history books?

The Dear America series and the Liberty's Kids novelizations are WHERE ITS AT.

31: How was your interest in history started?

I don't even know exactly when or how anymore. My mom's a book nerd and an archaeology/anthropology major, so I grew up in a house chock full of books, including history books. I've loved it ever since I could read, honestly.

32: Do you know a history professor?

I do not!

33: How did your favorite history teacher structure their class?

I was homeschooled so it was my mom. She made sure we covered every period, but other than that just let me pick out what interested me and what I wanted to read and explore. She read a ton of big historical books right alongside me and we'd discuss as we read. We still do this!

AND THAT'S THE HALFWAY POINT OF THESE. I HAVE TO GET READY FOR AN OVERNIGHT SHIFT AT WORK SOON SO I WILL LEAVE THIS HERE FOR NOW AND REBLOG WITH THE REST OF THEM UPDATED TOMORROW. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[fandima-moved-read-pinned]

Aven, all the numbers :)

1- Animated character that was your gay awakening? : I mean my gay awakening was an irl person so I don't know? I can't think of any rn 

2- Grilled cheese or PB&J? : Grilled cheese bc PB&J is gross just peanut butter and jelly are both good on their own but I don't like the way they taste combined 

3- What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? : Baking videos! Particularly the ones that have no voicover or any voice and you have to turn on the subtitles to know what ingredients they're using bc the words on the screen are in ankther language 

4- Your go-to bar order, if you drink? : chocolate milkshake no alcohol (the only time I've been to a bar that's what I ordered) 

5- What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? : My black tennis shoes, but they're really old and worn and I need new ones but I've been telling my parents for god knows how long and they don't give a shit 

6- Top three cuisines? : pfft cuisines I love that word its funny to me just I can't say it out loud without smiling or laughing anyway I guess shrimp fettuccine alfredo, medium rare steak, and fuggin uhhhhhh Danny Kids Cuisines

7- What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)?: I have no clue, I think my dad once said it was car or cat but they couldn't tell which 

8- What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had?: I've never had a job really, I mean I volunteered at the library one summer but I think that's it 

9- Look up. What’s directly across from you? : A large bowl of pancake batter (I'm making pancakes rn) 

10- Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general?: I've got an Air Force flag signed by the Air Force basketball team from that one time we went to a game. I've also got a really old shirt with the sifnirure of a country singer who I've never heard of (I don't think she made it big) 

11- Preferred way to spend a rainy day? : Drawing. Raining tends to make me want to draw more! Also watching the Great British Baking Show 

12- What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted?: normally I don't eat bagels. But Nutella and almonds and bananas on a plain bagel is really good! Also does it mean like anything I want on a bagel? Because I will order $1M on a bagel and only eat the bagel and bam I'm rich it said ANYTHING so heck yeah it never said it has to be food 

13- Brunch or midnight snacks?: Ooh brunch! I love brunch. I've never had a midnight snack tho so I can't really say for sure. 

14- Favorite mug you own: my Coffee Mug 

Also say hi to Emrys he's helping me make dinner 

15- What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? : 3% coffee 96% sugar 1% baked beans 

16- Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!): "I've grown tired of this body" Body by Mother Mother 

17- Fruity or herbal teas? : Fruity I guess? I'm not a big fan of tea, but I've had this watermelon mint tea and added ice and a bunch of sugar and it was pretty good 

18- What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless?:.... Sonic X (it was part of my childhood and I just really like the theme and I like it in general don't judge pls) 

19- That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying?: It wasn't a book we read as a glass but I think it was called the dragonfly something I dunno it was a while ago but it was really interesting 

20- Do you match your socks? Nope 

21- Have you ever been horseback riding?: I don't think so? 

22- What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc)- creepypasta everything. Every single thing. 

23- Have you ever been to jail?: nope

24- What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?: I don't have an opinion on them? Is there Lazy Susan discourse I don't know about 

25- Puzzles?: no hate them they can burn 

26- You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?: Apple juice I suppose? I don't drink much juice (I only really drink water, a little bit of coffee, and milk) 

27- What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore?: Fiction/Fantasy 

28- What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?: I'm trying to start sewing again! 

29- Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat?: none, I only listen to music at night and I'm not really upbeat then. 

30- Where could someone find you in a museum?: the exit (sorry I've never really enjoyed myself at museums) 

31- What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to?: None. I don't likem my clothes. All my dresses are too small minus like one. 

32- Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds?: Stars! I rarely get to see them. 

33- If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be?: Are ferrets rodents? I'd like a ferret I'd name it Malfoy

34- Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs?: Art for sure. I have no photographs on my walls, only my own paintings. 

35- You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go?: "Yeet" in cursive on my shoulder is area place thing 

36- Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with: none sorry I don't like superheros 

36- Lakes, rivers, or oceans?: Oceans!!!!!!!!! They're so pretty and blue and filled with fish and pretty and fun to swim in and salty and cold and nice and amazing I love the ocean I miss it 

38- Favorite mid-2000s song: I'm not sure, I don't keep track of when songs were released ;-;

39- How do you dress when you’re home alone?: Just my normal clothes. T-shirt and leggings or shorts. 

40- Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)?: The Corner Spot. My my brother keeps stealing it. 

41- Knives or swords?: Knives bc you can cut bread with them 

42- A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving:  Body by Mother Mother. Also Burning Pile. 

43- Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie: None we didn't have Djnsye when I was a kid 

44- Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?: Quote that relates to the photos? 

44- Name a classic Vine: Why you got a twelve car garage when you only got FIFTEEN CATS CUZ WE ALL JUST WANNA BE BIG RJCJSTARS 

46- What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?: I don't go to the store but probably ice cream 

47- How do you top your ice cream?: More Ice Cream 

48- Do you like Jello?: it's okay it's a bit odd tho 

49- What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did?: the time I slapped a guy in the face multiple times 

50- How are you at climbing trees?: I'm pretty good at it, I climbed trees a lot as a kid and I climbed one a few weeks ago and was like "woah I'm still good at this?" 

[masonjar828]

So this is in response to an ask me thing I reblogged. Thanks @kylorenpunk for once again making me do them all 😂 but I ain’t no quitter so let’s begin shall we.

1. Selfie; as seen above

2. What would you name your future kids?; If I could have sole control of naming my kids, I’d go with Zephyr for a girl and Red Nalloh for a boy. I always liked the word zephyr and I like the palindrome name that would come from naming my son that.

3. Do I miss anyone?; I recently moved to the west coast and left a lot of close friends behind so I miss each of them every day.

4. What am I looking forward to?; I recently interviewed for a job I’m pretty excited about so I’m really looking forward to hearing new news from them!

5. Is there anyone who can make me smile?; Legit anyone who ever says or does a kind thing to me I will think about from time to time with a little grin.

6. Is it hard for me to get over someone?; I don’t have too much experience needing to do so but I feel like it takes me a normal amount of time to get back on the level after being with someone 😂😅

7. What was my life like last year?; I was a senior in college man...life was a ball of stress and sleep deprevation for months.

8. Have I ever cried from annoyance?; Not really. It honestly takes a lot to make me cry usually. BUT! Show me something with heartwarming feels and a tear or two will always come.

9. Who did I last see in person?; My aunt while we were watching a movie.

10. Am I good at hiding my feelings?; Maybe? I feel like I am but I also know my poker face is garbage so I could be suckish at hiding my feelings too haha.

11. Am I listening to music right now?; Yes! The new Greatest Showman Reimagined album and it’s utterly amazing!

12. What is something I want right now?; I want more than anything rn to hear back from some job somewhere because I’m so in need of a post-college job 😂😅

13. How to I feel right now?; Bit of a headache and fairly tired but overall pretty happy! Listening to the rain outside helps.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged me?; About 20min ago when I said goodnight to my aunt lol.

15. Personality description; I feel the best way to describe my personality is a hyperactive ball of music and useless facts who usually does anything to help my friends, usually at the expense of my sanity at times 😂

16. Have I ever wanted to tell someone something but I didn’t?; There was a time where I desperately wanted to take a risk of telling one of my closest friends just how I truly felt about her but didn’t because I didn’t want to risk ruining the friendship that meant too much to me.

17. Opinion on insecurities; They are a thing everyone experiences and should never be judged on, but I do feel like the only way to truly become better as a person is to actively work to identify and try to work on overcoming or coming to terms with them.

18. Do I miss how things were a year ago?; The constant stress, absolutely not. The friends I got to see daily and never get to see and rarely talk to anymore, all the goddamn time.

19. Have I ever been to New York?; State, yes. City, also yes. Went this past summer to see Hamilton live and my god it was one of the best shows I’ve ever experienced! ☺️

20. Favorite song at the moment?; Hardest question in the world to ask me since I listen to and love so many so songs at once. The one currently stuck in my head is Zac Brown Bands version of From Now On from the Greatest Showman Reimagined soundtrack.

21. Age and birthday; 22 and August 28th

22. Description of crush; No crushes at the current moment but I usually like women a tad shorter than me, with amazing eyes, and a personality that is fun and nerdy so we can make stupid puns and jokes to each other.

23. Fears; Only one real one and it’ll always be snakes. Fuck those venomous and scaly bastards.

24. Height; Like 5’9”-5’10”ish I think?

25. Role model; My dad for sure. He is one of the most loving and caring people I know who can be outright terrifying if he needs to be.

26. Idols; I’m not really the type to idolize anyone tbh 😅 I feel like idolization can be a tad unhealthy.

27. Things I hate; The thing I hate most in the world (apart from snakes, fuck snakes) would have to be the sound of silence (not the song I love the song). Silence weirds me the hell out and I’m not about it.

28. I’ll love you if...; I’ll basically love you if you just show you genuinely care for me and have my best interest at heart. If you do that I’ll basically fight for you til the very end.

29. Favorite films; Star Wars for a series, Airplane! for a individual movie.

30. Favorite tv shows; Brooklynn 99 is my current binge. Others tend to be Star Trek: Next Generation, Cosmos (think this is considered tv), Friends, Avatar, The Last Airbender, etc lol.

31. 3 random facts; About me I’m guessing? I can solve a Rubik’s cube in about 30sec. I can sing the lyrics to literally each and every track from the Hamilton soundtrack. And I can bake recipe for cookies I’ve had friends literally fight over blindfolded if I have the ingredients all lined out first.

32. Are my friends mainly girls or guys?; Girls mostly. Guys tend to annoy the hell out of me most of the time. Even my best friend in the world can annoy the shit out of me fairly easily 😂😅

33. Something I want to learn; How to play literally any instrument. At all. I have wanted to learn for ages but I am just not good with instruments at all.

34. Most embarrassing moment; I tend to repress my embarrassing moments a lot so the first one that comes to mind is when I was talking shit about a professors godawful and stupid teaching method after being given a test he taught us like 30% of and turning around to see him 10ft away and definitely hearing what I said 😐

35. Favorite subject; Any math or chemistry really. #chemicalengineeringlife

36. 3 dreams I want to fulfill; Fairly easy I think. Find success in an area near my family so I can stay close with them after years of being unable to. Find a partner who I can be happy with the rest of my life. And be financially stable to never need to stress about living day to day.

37. Favorite actor/actress; Actor I think Chris Pratt. Actress Anna Kendrick.

38. Favorite comedian; John Mulaney without hesitation.

39. Favorite sport; Tennis. Can’t play it for years and not love it.

40. Favorite memory; Ooh hard one. I think it would have to be the time my family went camping to a place in the middle of Nowhere, Nevada when I was younger and I was able to see each and every star in the sky like I had never been able to before. It made me start to love space and science as a whole looking into that beautiful endless abyss.

41. Favorite book; Hate this because I love reading so so much and it’s like having to choose a favorite child. I think the one I most often reread would have to be The Hobbit though.

42. Favorite song ever; Bohemian Rhapsody I would guess counts the most since it’s the one I will always go back to and enjoy. (Also if you haven’t seen Bohemian Rhapsody the movie yet it’s insanely entertaining and I recommend it hard)

43. Age I get mistaken for; With the beard grown out some age definitely mid-20s, without the beard I’ve been called 18 or younger multiple occasions.

44. How I found out about my idol; See idol question above.

45. What my last text message says; “Goodnight”, sent to a friend I was talking to as they were very close to passing out.

46. Turn ons; If you’re able to engage with me on an intellectual level and be able to just be fun and goofy with me.

47. Turn offs; Trump supporters, Naxi sympathizers, and people who refuse to accept scientific evidence for things like vaccines and climate change.

48. Where I want to be right now; In bed, which luckily I am! 😝

49. Favorite picture of my idol; See idol question above.

50. Starsign; Virgo I believe.

51. Something I’m talented at; Random useless fact storage to be used at bar trivia nights.

52. 5 things that make me happy; Being with family, listening to good music, reading a good book, baking something delicious, and long drives with deep talks with friends.

53. Something worrying me at the moment; Not getting the nice job I interviewed for after the interview going as awesome as it did.

54. Tumblr friends; I have a few friends who have tumblrs like @kylorenpunk, @thepunmaster3000, and @be-inspirational-to-others. Though any mutuals I have I would love to become more friendly with so please feel free to send me a message sometime 😂😋

55. Favorite food; Probably chicken Alfredo I think.

56. Favorite animasl; Dolphins and tortoises 🐬🐢

57. Description of best friend; Tall dude with a short trimmed beard. Musically talented in basically any instrument I can think of. Movie lover to the point of almost insanity. Funny dude who also calls me out on my extremely dumb jokes and puns all the goddamn time.

58. Why I joined tumblr; I was told about it by a friend when I needed to vent a lot and she had me make one. Vented very rarely but enjoyed the weirdness of the site.

59. Ask me anything you want (I’m guessing for who asked me this); @kylorenpunk, why the hell do you make me always do all of these? 😂😅 I don’t mind but lord does it take forever to type all this junk out.

[preciousnerd]

A “should we know us a little better” tag
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people 
Tagged by @lil-loki THE LAST: 
 1. Drink: mountain dew 
2. Phone call: my dad whoops  
3. Text message: kasey!! 
 4. Song you listened to: uuhhhh Youre Mine by Lola Marsh 5. Time you cried: idk probably like,,3 days ago? 
6. Dated someone twice: yes, with multiple people but also with the guy I’m with now!  
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: maaany times lma o 8. Been cheated on: yes multiple times  9. Lost someone special: of course, who hasn’t? 
 10. Been depressed: lmao yeah  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope!  LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
 12-14: seafoam green, pastelier blues ? and uuhh,,purple because it reminds me of kasey  IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
 15. Made new friends: uhhh ye s I met Lana and Ty through our mutual hate of Kaleb!!  
16. Fallen out of love: nope I dont think so  
17. Laughed until you cried: probably pft 18. Found out someone was talking about you: in a bad way,,? Ig I did last night??? Idk I dont pay a lot of attention to that stuff  19. Met someone who changed you: in the past year,,no I haven’t  20. Found out who your friends are: I guess i found that out earlier than this past year so,,,no?  
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Cody isnt in my facebook list smh so no GENERAL: 
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: uh,,,two of them i think?? kasey and my sister??  
23. Do you have any pets: two dogs atm but ive had more in the past  
24. Do you want to change your name: yes a million times yes
 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: uh nothing? We went to dinner downtown and ate cake and opened presents in my sisters dorm room  
26. What time did you wake up: at like 12:45 whoops  
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: uuhhh either watching youtube or playing gay wars with reb  
28. Name something you can’t wait for: for my boyfriend to not be be going through absolute hell in his life  
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like a minute ago she walked in and talked to me about who was playing a new autistic doctor in a show  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could change how codys life was going rn!!!  
31. What are you listening right now: nothing other than the distant sound of The Chew playing in the living room  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no? i dont think so 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when I dont think before I act and it causes other people to get hurt  
34. Most visited Website: idk probably youtube or hangouts  35. Mole/s: u  h none  36. Mark/s: some single lonely freckles on my arms,legs,feet, and hands, a really dark birthmark on my back, a lot of scars on my legs and arms and hands, stretch marks on my back and i,,,think thats it???  37. Childhood dream: idk small me probably wanted a husband/boyfriend and to not work and be a stay at home mom because thats what i grew up thinking i needed to be but that has changed lm ao 38. Hair color: uh its naturally dark brown but rn the shaved part is brown and the long part is blonde  
39. Long or short hair: definitely short but the longer part is very floofy :> 
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeye my boyfriend 
41. What do you like about yourself: uh?? i really like my hair?? thats the main thing ig, and my hip/collar bones are nice  42. Piercings: lmao no never again 
43. Bloodtype: who actually knows this about themselves  44. Nickname: u h idk my sister calls me Arooooon (pronounced like,,maroon), some people call me hecker, i think my new nickname for loki was turdsnot, or we could change it too rufus, and kasey and my boyfriend call me a bunch of cute things like hun or babe or whatever but idk its hard to keep track of 45. Relationship status: taken 
46. Zodiac: aries 
 47. Pronouns: they/them 48. Favorite TV Show: hmmm..probably like,,jojos even though thats an anime  
49. Tattoos: i dont have any but i want them real bad  
50. Right or left hand: left for writing and eating stuff but i use my right for some things ?  
51. Surgery: havent gone through surgery and the thought scares me  52. Piercing: smh i see you asking double questions  
53. Sport: not a sporty person but im interested in going into dance?? especially contemporary  55. Vacation: at this point its always to Texas to see my bf and best friend  56. Pair of trainers: what does this even mean?? shoes?? favorite shoes??? i really like my heels ig??? ? ?? ?  ?

MORE GENERAL: 
57. Eating: i was eating cinnamon toast crunch but i really want a rice bowl from a kobe place near me dfjfk 58. Drinking: mountain dew lmao 59. I’m about to: probably watch youtube and talk to kasey  
61. Waiting for: death?? but also my babe  62. Want: to move back to texas bluh  63. Get married: depends on who im with when i need to make that decision but im open to it and id definitely get married to cody in the future if he wanted  
64. Career: i dont really know anymore, body painter, special effects artist, journalist??artist??  something different?? idk! !  WHICH IS BETTER?: 
65. Hugs or kisses: uuhhh kisses but only with my bf  66. Lips or eyes: hmm..depends?? both are nice  67. Shorter or taller: both have their perks especially when dating either of them, like with cody he can pick me up and carry me around and i have to stand on my toes to kiss him and i love it but with shorter people they can sit in your lap and you can rest your head on theirs and bl uh idk bu t atm taller because i just want to be Held  
68. Older or younger: uuhh older cause im real young anyways but not like,,,too much older yknow,, 
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: uhh????? ?i dunno??? both are nice ig but neither are important to me?? ? 
71. Sensitive or loud: i dont know what this,,means?? like in a person??? it doesnt matter ig both have their perks and downsides to me 
72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, i cant stand the thought of hooking up with someone  
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: again, both are good and bad  HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a stranger: not a complete stranger no but i wouldnt do it again  75. Drank hard liquor: lmao no ive only had a sip of a frozen daiquiri once  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i havent lost them to a point ive never found them but i slept with my glasses in my bed and couldnt find them for like an hour and cried about it after looking because i hated the feeling of not being able to see and it frustrated me a lot (this sounds like it happened when i was a small child but no it only happened like a year and a half ago)  77. Turned someone down: lmao yes ofc if i said yes to everyone who wanted to date me i would jump around so much and id hate it  78. Sex in the first date: uuhhhh questionably yes? but we had been dating for a long time before that it was just our first proper “go out and see each other” date cause we are long distance yknow  79. Broken someones heart: whoops yeah oh well  
80. Had your heart broken: yeyeye 81. Been arrested: lmAO n o 
82. Cried when someone died: yes  
83. Fallen for a friend: uuh yeah i guess thats what happened with jennie? but i wouldnt say i completely fell for her, ive only been in love once so idk, but i used to become interested in friends DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
 84. Yourself: lmao no not at all 85. Miracles: yes and no? but to keep it simple ill just stick with no  86. Love at first sight: uhhh i dont really know tbh, but i dont think i do 
87. Santa Claus: no :< 
88. Kiss in the first date: depends?? most of the time no tho 
89. Angels: dont believe in god so i dont believe in angels either whoops  OTHER:
 90. Current best friends name: kasey and cody 91. Eyecolor: brown 
92. Favorite movie(s): The Little Prince is one of my favorites, Song of the Sea, Moana, just a lot of animated kids movies are really g o od man  TAGGED: idk ig,,, @demonicfox15 ? sure you can do it kasey why not  this took me,,,so freaking long dkfmkmds

[nonbineryfoolery]

91 questions tag

i was tagged by @how-does-one-become-cat

  The Last:

1. drink: tea

2. phone call: my best friend bc i was having a problem and i needed to talk about it

3. text message: i last texted to the aforementioned friend to tell her finally got home

4. last song I listened to: shit i have no idea. something that was on the radio when i was coming home?

5. last time I cried: I usually cry all the time because i’m watching or reading something sad but i think last time i was crying was just because of onions..

Have you ever: 6. dated someone twice: nope 7. been cheated on: not that i know of 8. kissed someone and regretted it: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: i think i have 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

List three favourite colours:

12. turquoise 13. night sky blue 14. sunset purple

In the last year have you:

15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: nope 17. laughed until you cried: i can’t remember any one instance but it’s highly probable 18. found out someone was talking about you: idk what this question is but i think so 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your true friends were: maybe in a way?? 

More:

21. kissed someone on your facebook: i don’t think i have  22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them but i only have like 10 friends on facebook bc i never really use it 23. do you have any pets: no 24. do you want to change your name: yeah 25. what did you do on your last birthday: i ate pizza & cake and hung out with my bother & watched wonder woman 26. what time did you wake up: at 12:45 - in my defence i got home very late because of reasons that had nothing to do with me 27. what were you doing at midnight: sitting in a car trying to get home 28. name something you can’t wait for: finding motivation to study all the courses i foolishly decided to take during summer 29. when was the last time you saw your mother: couple of hours ago when she left to get the groceries 30. what’s one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish it was easier to live as a nonbinary person in this society 31. what are you listening to right now: right this moment it’s Troye Sivan’s for him  32. have you ever talked with someone named tom: yes and they were very annoying 33. something that’s getting on your nerves: my lack of motivation to study (and my willingness to take extra courses when i don’t have to) 34. most visited site(s): probably tumblr, instagram and netflix

School*: 

35. elementary: the beginning was okay but boring bc the education was too easy. two or so last years were pretty hard for me because of social reasons  36. middle: lot better than elementary bc i went to a different school than everyone else and i got some friends i wanted to be around 37. high: it’s pretty nice & i finally feel like i’m learning something new 38. college: yes please

* i dont live in the US so the school system is a bit different but i’m trying to answer as well as i can

Me:

39. hair colour: sandy blond / very very light brown - i want to dye my hair maybe green or blue but i just haven’t got around to do that yet 40. long or short hair: short 41. do you have a crush on someone: i have problems with crushes, mainly that i don’t know wether i have a crush on someone or if i just wanna be around them bc i want to get to know them & be their friend because to me the feelings feel pretty similar which kinda is a problem?? idk maybe 42. what do you like about yourself: just to name a couple things i like that i’m clever and that i try to be kind to people 43. piercings: i have holes in my ears but i rarely fill them with anything that sounds wrong but i had to write it i’m sorry 44. blood type: we tested our blood types at school couple of years ago and i think i’m AB but i’m really not sure and i want someone to test my bloodtype before any possible transfusions 45. nickname: i really don’t have nicknames? my parents sometimes call me muppe but that’s pretty rare 46. relationship status: single 47. zodiac sign: cancer 48. pronouns: they/them or other nonbinary / gender neutral pronouns 49. favourite tv shows: ahhhh i don’t even know anymore. It was Sherlock 8 months ago but right now maybe sense 8. 50. tattoos: none but i’d maybe like to get one sometime 51. hand: right handed

First:

52. surgery: i think it was adenoidectomy some undefined time ago 53. piercing: ears when i was maybe 7 or 8 54. sport: first i independently decided i wanted to do was football when i was 5 or 6 55. vacation: Maybe Italy when i was 7-8 months but i’m not sure if that counts because it was kinda long work trip for my dad and the rest of us just moved there with him because that’s apparently the kind of cool thing my family did when i was too young to remember any of it later. Why did we stop doing cool stuff when i became old enough to remember what happened a week earlier?? 56. pair of trainers: i think i still have this very cute pair of blue patent leather shoes (from the said trip to Italy) that was one of the earliest pair of shoes i ever had, but i don’t know if they were the actual first pair and i wouldn’t label then as sneakers bc i was a stylish baby who had some damn fine shoes 

Current:

57. eating: nothing 58. drinking: water 59. i’m about to: study (or at least that’s what i keep telling myself) 60. listening to: Worship by Years & Years

Future:

61. waiting for: drinking tea 62. want: motivation 63. married: i don’t think that’s something i ever want to do but i might change my mind 64. career: some science stuff hopefully

Your type: (I don’t have a type, i have multiple types and almost everything’s fine)

65. hugs or kisses: can’t i just respond both to all of these?? ehhh maybe hugs 

66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: I mean both have their own good things but maybe a tiny bit shorter 68. older or younger: close to my own age or a bit older 69. nice arms or nice stomach: both maybe nice arms but cute tummys are also great 70. sensitive or loud: idk both???  71. hook up or relationship: depends but maybe relationship (both! or maybe neither??) 72. troublemaker or hesitant: what? both or neither preferably

73. kissed a stranger: in a way yes 74. drank hard liquor: no 75. lost contacts or glasses: nope  76. turned someone down: ah this brings me memories of kindergarten - yes 77. sex on the first date: i think i prefer to properly know people i’m having sex with 78. broken someone’s heart: i don’t think i have 79. had your heart broken: not really 80. been arrested: no 81. cried while someone died: the ‘while’ bothers me. Someone’s probably died while i was crying and i’ve cried because people have died but i haven’t cried while someone dies because they are dying 82. fallen for a friend: idk maybe

Do you believe in:

83. yourself: i sometimes think how i theorethically might not actually excist but in a general sense, yes i do 84. miracles: depends on how you define a miracle. I don’t believe in supernatural miracles but like i believe that some things that happen can seem miraculous and therefore maybe be called miracles if that makes sense 85. love at first sight: depends on the definiton of love 86. santa claus: nope 87. kiss on the first date: wtf? I believe no-one has ever kissed anyone on a first date and i believe if such a thing were to occur it would probably cause the wolrd to end to quote a wise person i know, “sure why the hell not” 

88. angels: no, unless its Matthew’s Angels type of Angels. x  x

Other:

89. current best friends name: Kiia  90. eye colour: like a mix of blue, green and grey with golden brown bits? 91. favourite movie: idk but my favourite movie of the ones i’ve seen this year is prabably moonlight or wonder woman

This took a lot longer than i thought it would but i made it!! Thanks Kona for giving me a reason to not to study (not that i would have otherwise). I’ve understood that i’m supposed to tag people now. 

However, after spending 40 minutes anxiously trying to decide who i know i can tag and only figuring out two people and starting to feel awfull i decided not to tag anyone. I really want to get to know you guys so please do this and tag me so i can see it but rn tagging people is too much to me. :/

[recordofmyreverie]

Tuvan Throat-Singing and Finding My Own Voice Too (February 2017)

Back in January, I noticed on Facebook that there was an event being held at The Evening Muse in Charlotte that was going to be showcasing the incredible talents of a throat-singing band called Alash. I was already drawn to the event because I used to watch videos of this kind of singing on Youtube with RN and his friend group, and we all were mesmerized at how it was even humanly possible for the voice to be capable of that. I was even more drawn to the event because of the date that it fell on: February 22nd. 

As stated in a previous post, the number 22 kept reappearing in my life, and I attributed a new importance to it. Multiples of 11 seemed to be really lucky for me, but 22 especially was showing up everywhere I looked. Every time I would see this number now, I knew that it was something I needed. I knew something important would happen every 22nd of the month. Even if it was all a placebo, and in my own control, I still wanted the number 22 to mean something. 

The holders of a master number 22 have the highest chance to turn their dreams into reality, they are efficient and can handle large projects.

Considered to be the most influential number of all, it can give deep spiritual understanding, facilitating the appliance of knowledge in a practical way, which will eventually lead to success. The master number 22 is considered to serve the word in a practical way.

If you’re interested in learning more about this number, check out this link 

During this time of year, I was getting so fed up with working at Toast. I was being pushed too hard to simply stay afloat. I didn’t like that my boss had hired people that made my job harder than it should be or that I knew more than my boss about the restaurant since I’d been there much longer. I was tired of having to drive through an hour of traffic just to get there and have to work my ass off to share the money that I earned with certain people who didn’t put in as much work as I did, when I could be working at the one that was 10 minutes away from my house. I was tired of coming home and feeling depressed because I wouldn’t speak up about this. I was just letting the job drain me. 

I enjoyed most of the people I worked with, and I loved the customers, so I let that motivate me to stay. It wasn’t enough, though. For two weekends in a row, I got hurt because my boss put too much pressure on me and would seat my section up to 5 tables at a time. I told him to slow down because I was only one person and that there needed to be an actual rotation rather than complete chaos when it came to seating, and he didn’t listen. He was just focused on getting everyone seated and then it didn’t matter where he sat them or when. 

He didn’t understand that no matter how good of a worker I was, I was still human, and I wasn’t invincible like he thought I should be. One weekend, I had to spend 20 minutes in the freezer to cool myself down because I was so hot and mad. My boss gave me the busiest section, and I’d been paired with my least favorite coworker who was always absent from our section and usually talking about himself to other tables. 

That day, I had been late to work. It was the third time that week. Each time I was late, it was only about 15 minutes, and it was because he’d given me no motivation to want to show up to work because I knew I’d be working with the arrogant one who did no work. He’d also only schedule me closing shifts which started at 8 AM and were at the peak of morning traffic when I lived 45 minutes away. So yeah, it was a little hard to get to work on time. 

My coworker didn’t know his job. He lied about everything. He was always late despite being 5 minutes walking distance from work and even buying a moped later. But he was best friends and a total kiss-ass to my boss. Those were the ingredients to his success. I wanted to tear him to pieces. 

I was so hot one weekend from having to run all over the restaurant and serve an entire section of about 20 tables by myself, that I decided it was my turn to disappear. I broke down. I was so freaking mad. Why were they doing this to me? Why was I letting them? 

On top of all the chaos, my boss took me to the back to say that I was now being suspended for being late for the third time in a row. That’s when I broke down. I was being punished even despite all the work I had put into being there. Even despite making it so freaking easy for people that didn’t know their own jobs like him and my coworker that he hired. I felt disrespected, and felt my treatment was unfair since he wasn’t going to do the same to my coworker who repeatedly showed up late every single day and would sometimes show up 2 HOURS late. He’d let him slide every time like the greasy worm he was. 

I told my boss in the office that I didn’t care that I was being suspended. It wasn’t a punishment to me because maybe I should just quit anyways because I was miserable working there. I had something so good for a while after MK left. I’d come such a long way and worked my way to the top. I trained almost the entire restaurant by myself. I thought about quitting right there in that moment, but my boss started crying himself. 

He said that he would hate it if I left because I was such a good worker, and that everyone looked up to me. He said that if I left, they would struggle to even be the same restaurant anymore because so many regulars came there just to see me. He knew that his job would be on the line if I quit. He said he wouldn’t want me to quit without another job lined up, but if I found something else, then more power to me, but if I just left that day there wouldn’t have been any respect in my decision. 

One weekends after that, I’d fell and bruised my knee during a shift because he was pushing me to go too fast and I was trying to move too fast. The next weekend, I spilled boiling hot water on my foot and got a second-degree burn from it. It was also because he was pushing me too fast. 

When it happened, I remember pushing the doors into the kitchen with a bang. I hobbled to the office where the first-aid kit was, and I quickly tried to open the burn-gel. My boss still wouldn’t take blame, and tried to blame one of the other servers saying that his clumsiness knocked over the mug and caused my injury. There was nobody to blame except myself and my boss for giving me the stress.

My boss was more worried about if I’d be able to return to work that day than he was about worker’s compensation for injury. He knew that they’d struggle if they had one less person, and especially one less person who knew her job and did her job fast and accurate. 

My foot was so hot and red. It was swollen. It tingled with pain anytime I even touched it. It was bandaged where the hot liquid poured directly, so I couldn’t see the blisters yet, but I knew that they’d be there. My boss told me I could sit there and wait until I could walk again to get back to work, but I knew that if I agreed to get up again, he wouldn’t hold off at all. He’d still over-seat me. I told him to clock me out, and I limped to my car to drive home. He was so disappointed. 

The very next day, I was out to get an oil change and get my brakes repaired from all the driving. I was walking around downtown Fort Mill to pass the time, and looking for a new job. 

I needed a change of environment that wasn’t so negative. There were people I could absolutely not stand over there, and I needed to get out of that. I’d given Toast over two years of my life, learned all I could from it, did the best I could be, helped other people become the best they could be, and met a lot of wonderful people. It was time to move on. 

The first job that I applied to was an Irish Pub. At the time I applied, there was a girl from another Toast, the one that was close to my house. She was applying at the pub too for a second job. She was shocked that I wanted to leave Toast because it was such good money and a great environment, for her anyway. She was trying to convince me to stay with the company and said I would regret leaving, but I already had my mind made up. I’d been wanting to quit for months. This was not just some spur of the moment decision. I was putting it off for long enough.

That day, I shook hands with the manager and accepted a job. I couldn’t believe that it was so easy for me to find another job, and I wondered why I didn’t do it sooner. 

When I went to back to work the next shift I was scheduled, the first thing my boss said to me was “We got our asses kicked without you on Sunday. I see you’re walking fine though. You definitely could have worked. I saw you walking yesterday.”

Asshole.

I saved the bad news for the end of the day, and smiled, “Yep, my foot is fine today. It’s because I got some rest and took care of the injury when I got home instead of over-working myself and making it worse that day.”

I went back to work with a smile and a giddy attitude the rest of the day. I was so excited to tell him that I was quitting, but I knew that if I was going to say it in the beginning, he’d definitely treat me worse.

A girl that I worked with, Nicole, had told him that she was going to be transferring to the new Rock Hill location along with two other employees that worked there. He thought he was going to just be losing two, and didn’t expect her to leave, but he pushed her to wanting to leave because she also thought that he was ridiculous as a manager. We all thought that except the one that he’d hired himself. Ever since she told him that, he’d been so passive-aggressive and rude to her. He even would go as far as to tell her to hurry up and clock out at the end of the day because he didn’t like even seeing her anymore. He took things that were just business so personally.

After a day’s work and mopping the floor, I put away the mop, and I said “I’m giving you my two-week’s notice. I found another job.”

All he could say was “Congratulations.”

The following night, I met up with an old/new friend, RN. I invited him to come out and see the Tuvan throat singing band called Alash with me, since I knew he wouldn’t want to miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. We’d reconnected a couple weeks earlier at Starbucks and had a well-needed chat about each other’s well-being and progress.

I showed him all the photos that he’d missed since we broke up and told him about all the crazy things that had happened in the span that we’d been absent from each other. He told me that he’d also moved back into his parents’ house, quit his job, and got a new car. He was interviewing for jobs and trying to get out of his parents’ house again, but wanted to live by himself. 

He said that recent events and losing so much really opened his eyes to how much he needed to live healthier and make a positive change in his life. He wasn’t partying anymore, and only spent time out with his friends one on one these days, and reading at home alone most nights. He admitted he was still stressed out, but that he felt more peaceful than he had been feeling in a while.

It was nice to catch up with him and to see that he was doing well and on a path of progress. I was proud of him. We agreed that we missed each other’s friendship, and that maybe that’s all we should have been in the beginning. Maybe we were just too enthusiastic and excited about each other at the time, and that’s why it turned into something more, but we weren’t meant for each other romantically. We were more just meant as support for each other during the rough times of our lives. 

At the show, I told him that I’d quit my job at Toast finally after months of complaining. He was happy for me. We watched the throat-singing together and were both so amazed that we each brought home a CD. Well, he bought one, and then burnt a copy for me to listen to. I traded him a book that I thought he might want to read. It was the one that a stranger gifted to me on the bus to DC. The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley.

I was glad to have experienced such a cool show with someone who I knew would truly appreciate it. And I was glad that we could turn something that didn’t work out romantically into a new friendship. We were the same people, but different.