#i need to turn notifications back on for this blog whoops

[squawk-crow-quack]

I HAVEN’T BEEN ON THIS BLOG IN AGES AND I JUST NOW SAW THAT I HAD SOME MESSAGES I AM *SO* SORRY IF YOU SENT ME ONE A WHILE AGO AND I HAVEN’T RESPONDED YET

[buckmepapi]

you’re mine

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

Summary: Bucky needs to learn his place

Pairing: bucky barnes x f!avenger!reader

Featured Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Cursing, slight angst, aggression, SMUT 18+ ONLY - slapping, choking, just all-around angry possessive sex. Whoops.

A/N: this was the first ever fic I wrote lmao

Follow my library to receive notifications on fics, I don’t do taglists as it’s impossible to keep up with. Library blogs for updates are easier for all of us.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

“Y/N, you need to calm down” Natasha soothed as she followed your sizzling gaze tracing your line of site as it board holes into the back of Bucky’s head, as she noticed where your anger was emanating from she continued “we don’t need a repeat of last month”

Last month Bucky had made you so infuriatingly angry during training that you had lost control of your abilities and had unceremoniously set fire to most of the equipment, and literally had to be put out with a fire extinguisher courtesy of a very smug Tony Stark.

“You need to tell him how you feel, you can’t keep hurting like this” Natasha was right, but you knew Bucky could never return your feelings. He hated you and you hated him. It wasn’t until recently you realised that your hate was just deep buried lust and passion for the brooding former assassin.

“I can’t, Natasha, he doesn’t feel the same way” Natasha sighed in annoyance, she had had this conversation a million times by now since you opened up to her about your crush a couple of months ago when she had found you practically drooling at the sight of a sleepy Bucky entering the shared kitchen during breakfast, instead of your usual foreboding and ominous death glare.

“Y/N, he does. We both know you’re the better fighter, but I am the best out of the two of us at reading people. I’m telling you, as your best friend, the man fucking likes you.”

You continued your glare at the woman flirtingly stroking Bucky’s forearm as she not so subtly sucked on her straw by the bar, making direct eye contact with him. Bucky seemed to be enjoying the attention, resting his head on his metal hand as he stared at her with a smirk on his face.

“He’s just doing it to make you jealous” she continued.

“Well it’s fucking working” you deadpanned as your nostrils flared.

Bucky saw you from across the bar locking eyes with you and winked turning back to his new ‘friend’.

This fucker had the audacity to wink and smirk at you with his perfect kissable plump lips. He thought this shit was funny.

Natasha let out a huff of air at his reaction knowing this would not end well.

“That’s it!” You shouted as you slammed your palms down on the table, rising from the booth.

“What are you doing?” she asked, momentarily shocked at your outburst.

You turned to her and smiled sweetly, a worryingly calm contrast to your previous anger “I’m just going to have a nice friendly talk with him” and with that you stepped out of the booth, your heels clacking as you strode across the room to the pair with a look of utter death strewn across your face.

Bucky was too caught up in his conversation with the young woman to notice your death strut to wards him, putting his to shame. ‘Is it working?’ he thought.

“Excuse me” you said coldly as you approached them, standing in between their two stools at the bar. Bucky did a double take as he realised that you were now right next to him with the most scariest look on your face he’s ever seen and gulped slightly. Had he gone too far?

“We’re having a conversation here”

This bitch, you thought.

“Yeah and if you don’t move right now this’ll be the last conversation you ever have” you said with zero emotion as you continued to look at Bucky without even sparing the poor girl a second glance.

The girl immediately stiffened up and stammered a weak “s-s-s-sorry” as she shot up and practically ran from her seat and left.

Before Bucky could speak you interrupted him by grabbing his forearm and yanking him out of his seat causing him to stumble slightly in his shocked attempt to regain balance. He looked at you with a concoction of confusion and horniness as you began to pull him across the room and out of the doors, Natasha smirking as she watched you go. He was not so subtly tilting his head to the side ogling your ass in your tight dress as he continued to trail behind you, your grip on his arm tightening.

You dragged him down the hall and practically pushed him into the elevators.

“ Doll, I-”

You quickly shot him down with a menacing glare and he immediately shut his mouth. His pants were constricting and getting tighter. He had never seen you this angry before and honestly, it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

The elevator door dinged and swung open , you grabbed him again and dragged him down the hall to his room. You unlocked his door and pushed him inside slamming the door behind you with your hips.

“Do you think that was funny?” you asked surprisingly calm.

“If it gets you all worked up like this the ye-” You slapped him across the face interrupting him once again.

“Shut up and take your pants off” Bucky’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head at the command. Out of all possible scenarios he wasn’t thinking this could be an outcome. Had he died and gone to heaven? Surely you had killed him at the bar because there was no way this was actually real.

He didn’t need to be told twice, he practically ripped his pants off down to his boxers and stood there, his hard dick pressing against his underwear

Y/N looked down at his dick and smirked

You strutted over to him, he walked backwards till his legs met the couch and you pushed him hard causing him to fall into the seat with a groan of pleasure. His hands reached for your hips as soon as your sat down to straddle him, your knees either side of his large frame.

He looked up at you in awe, his eyes filled with lust and his delicious soft lips slightly parted.

You grinded your hips against his clothed member aching to be free “I’m going to fuck you right here right into this couch. Every time you sit here, you’ll remember this as the day I fucking ruined you”

“Jesus FUCK” he moaned, his head lulled back against the couch as his death like grip on your hips tightened pushing your to grind faster and harder. He could not believe what he was hearing.

“Do you want that, baby?” you cooed, stroking his jaw and cheek where you had slapped him, now surprisingly tender. Bucky moaned quietly at the pet name “do you want me to ride your big thick cock like I own you?”

Bucky whimpered. He fucking whimpered at your words. He surprised himself as much as you, being submissive wasn’t in his nature, but damn did this turn him on.

“Yes — god yes — fuck me like you own me. Please, doll, please” he begged.

You palmed at his painfully hard member, pulling the waist of his boxers down to free him “good boy” you purred as you whispered in his ear and bit the lobe gently. Bucky moaned loudly at the praise, his eyes rolled back as his head fell back once again

Bucky wanted to do this properly. He wanted to date you, woo you, take you to bed and show you what you’ve been missing out on all this time. His plan was to make you jealous so you would admit your feelings and then ask you out on a date and confess his in return. He wanted to taste you, make you cum so many times on his tongue, with his fingers before he made you take his impressive length. But there was something so hot and slightly naughty about the both of you being so worked up that there was no time for foreplay. You had to have each other right. Now.

You didn’t want to waste any time warming up, you sat down painfully slowly at first onto his large cock as you moaned welcoming the painful sting “god, you’re so fucking big” you moaned loudly as he returned the moan in unison.

“God doll, you feel amazing. You’re so tight - so fucking wet ” you whined loudly at his praise and began to grind harder.

“You’re mine” you shouted as you gripped locks of his wavy brown hair and tugged to have him meet your eye line. The sight was to die for. His blue eyes blown black with lust as his deliciously plump lips we’re parted in shock at your confession, you leaned into kiss him angrily, your tongues fighting together for dominance, invading his mouth and capturing his sweet groans.

You parted mouths panting as you continued to bounce up and down on his thick member with fervour.

“God yes doll I’m yours all yours whatever you want me to be I’ll be - fuck fuck - shit! You’re like heaven “ He slowly slipped his thick calloused hands between your two bodies and began stroking hard fast circles on your swollen clit.

“Fuck fuck- god just like that” your hands trailed your own curves your right hand running through your locks of hair as your left gripped his shoulder

“I’m yours I’m yours” he continues to pant nonsense “are you mine babydoll? Huh? Are you mine too?” he echoed into the room as he watched your breasts bounce up and down in unison with your rhythms.

“Yes James yes fuck I’m yours” Bucky moaned at the use of his given name rolling sweetly off your tongue.

“Are you gonna come for me? Cum all over my cock? Drench me with this tight little pussy that was FUCK - j j just made for me” You practically screamed at his words, lurching forward and gripping both shoulders, his other hand guiding you up and down on his length with ease like you weighed nothing

“Oh god yes  - - fuck fuck I’m g- I- I’m — g g onna ccum”

“That’s it baby, cum for me show me that my dick belongs to you and you only, come on take it — fuCK”

His words catapulted you over the edge as you saw white, your eyes rolling back in your head as you nearly fell backwards shaking Bucky caught you in his steel like grip behind your back pushing you forwards to his chest

“Doll - fuck - you’re like a fucking Angel when you come - but sHIT - I I’m not gonna last much longer, I I wanted to have you writhing under me for hours but SHIT - W wh where do you want it, where do you want my cum babygirl”

“Inside. Inside me James please I need you to make me yours. Please please fill me up please”

Bucky groaned at your words “fuck -fuck I I I’m cumming ” he moaned loudly as his grip left crescent shaped bruises in their wake “shit fuck you’re so fucking good, such a good girl ” he moaned as you felt his member engorge slightly and then release hot thick white ropes of come into your welcoming hole, he looked down between your bodies leaning you back slightly to see his cum dripping out of you bit by bit cascading back down onto his still hard member. “Look at that” he moaned “I could live in this pussy forever” he sighed heavily and you sagged on top of him resting your head in the crook of his neck.

“God, I love you” he whispered as he stroked your head gently soothing you back down from your respective highs.

You both stilled for a moment at his words, he felt you tense and knew he had fucked up.

“Shit doll I’m sorry I’ve ruined it haven’t I I’m s -”

“Did you mean it” you said with wide loving eyes as you cupped his stubbled cheeks with both hands.

“Y-Yeah. I should have told you sooner. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you”

I- I love you too, James” you sighed happily.

You felt Bucky immediately relax under you “thank god” he sighed as you both chuckled.

“I’m sorry for slapping you” you said amongst the comfortable silence.

“That was the single hottest thing that’s ever happened to me. The slapping turned me on, don’t ever apologise for getting my dick hard” he laughed at your embarrassment

“Duly noted” you said in return.

“But, Doll” he said as he started to stand up, gripping you so you were still wrapped around him “I’m gonna have to punish you for that little display” he continued as he walked to your bedroom and threw you on to your bed.

an “oomph” fell from your lips as you stared at him wide eyed.

“I let you feel like you were in charge” he began to descend onto the bed as he crawled over your form “but let’s get something straight” suddenly his had flew to your throat, wrapping around and squeezing hard “I’m the boss here, and you and me are gonna spend all night in this room until you get that into your perfect little head, are we clear?”

“oh fuck” you moaned as you stared up at him

“I said” suddenly a palm came across your cheek, you welcomed the warm sting as you moaned even louder.

“Are. We. Fucking. Clear”

“F-Fuck, yes, Daddy, I’m sorry!” your eyes bulged out of your head as you realised your mistake. Bucky looked equally as shocked before that same stupid smirk appeared on his face once again.

“Oh, Doll, me and you have a lot of catching up to do”.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧

[angryschnauzer]

Blackwater Lake - Chapter 1

Summary: There’s a little town high in the mountains where everyone has a secret, and every family has something that makes them unique. In Blackwater Lake those that are outcast by nature come together. 

Characters: Werewolf!Captain Syverson, Werewolf!Female Reader, Vampire!Walter Marshall.

Warnings (for this chapter, all small mentions but warning just in case): Breastfeeding, Accidental Cutting Injury/Blood loss, blood transfusions. This chapter contains no sex scenes or scenes of a sexual nature.

A continuation of previous Werewolf!Sy stories Moonlight on the Sand and Castle Under The Stars. This will be a series of stand alone stories/2 parters, which will revolve around the residents of the town, with some recurring characters.

I do not run a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications. You’ll then get an alert every time i post something new.

Blackwater Lake - Chapter 1

The late spring day brought pleasant scents and mouth watering flavours, Blackwater Lake’s town May day parade in full flow as you held two month old Luna in her carrier to your chest, turning to smile at your husband Sy as he balanced Mikey on his shoulders so your son could watch the floats whilst they slowly cruised past. You knew he would be most excited about the Fire Department bringing their trucks past. At the first whoop of the siren Mikey squealed with joy, the ice cream cone in his hand tipping slightly and setting a blob of blue bubblegum flavour gelato into Sy’s cheek;

“Hey, no wriggles! Its raining ice cream down here”

Pausing the consumption of your own cone you handed it to Sy as you reached into your bag and found a baby wipe, moving to wipe his cheek before stretching to wipe your son’s face. Finding a trash can to toss the wipe into, you smiled as you watched your two boys as they waved to the Fire Trucks, the crew making sure to honk their horns when they saw Sy.

Everyone in town loved Sy. You’d moved there together when you’d found out you were pregnant with Mikey, your army days behind you and wanting to seek somewhere quiet where you could live in the woods to allow for full moon runs whilst being close enough to civilisation to raise a family. The aging receptionist at the realtor had pulled you aside the second you’d arrived in their office when you’d visited the town, recognising one of her own as her nostrils had flared and she’d explained that there were ‘all sorts’ in the town. That was your first meeting with Edith, and you’d gone on to move in just up the mountain from her. Once Sy had finished in the Army and baby number two was on the way, he’d started working alongside retired detective Walter at his construction company where they specialised in commercial buildings. They were always on call for when businesses had emergencies, so had come to the aid of half the town after storms and accidents.

As the parade dragged on Luna woke, grumbling for a change and a feed. The two boys were transfixed with the parade and you’d lost your ice cream cone to Sy who was now mindlessly munching away on it. Tugging on his sleeve you caught his attention;

“Luna’s woken up, i’m gonna take her into Sue’s Coffee Shop to change her and give her a feed”

“Sure thing Darlin, we’ll come find you in a bit”

-

The coffee shop was quiet, its doors opened onto the sidewalk and as the radio played soft rock music, just one or two tables taken outside but the inside empty. Sue - the owner - smiled at you as you walked in;

“Hey Sue!”

“Hey there! What can I get'cha?”

“Can i get a decaf iced latte? I just need to change Luna if that’s ok?”

“Of course, no need to ask, the restroom is empty”

A couple of minutes later your little girl had a clean butt but was still grizzling, now hungry for your milk. Sue had set your drink onto a table in the corner, a soft window seat she knew you liked to sit at to feed. Settling in you pulled your cami top down and unhooked the strap of your nursing bra, helping Luna to latch on as she cried before a blissful quiet descended over you as she happily suckled on your breast. In the quiet of the coffee shop you reached for your drink and sipped on it, smiling down at your beautiful daughter as she gazed up at you;

“Hey there my little Luna, better now? Is that the good stuff? Yeah? Well that’s what your Daddy says it is…” you said with a whisper and a smirk.

“Hey”

The sudden greeting made you jump, looking up to see Walter standing near your table;

“Oh, Hi Walter”

“Sorry…” he glanced away, averting his eyes from where you were feeding; “I just asked if you wanted anything?”

“Oh no, i’m fine, i’ve got a coffee… but you’re welcome to join me if you like? Sy and Mikey will be along once the Parade’s over”

Nodding once the quiet man went to order before returning with what looked like a quad espresso but faltering when it came to taking a seat;

“Where did you want me to sit?”

“Oh anywhere you like” you shifted Luna as she had finished on one breast, hooking that side up before shifting and moving her to the other breast. You’d mastered the art of switching breasts without revealing anything, the baby's head blocking any view of a nipple, and you were a vehement supporter of breast feeding - in fact any feeding - and had been known to get into loud shouting matches with anyone that told you to cover up something that was completely natural.

“I mean, i don’t want Sy to think i’m here oggling his wife’s tits”

Laughing, you kicked out a soft chair with your foot;

“This is fairly low, take this one and here…” you moved the upright menu on the table in front of Luna’s head, knowing that she would now be shielded from view and with your breast, and saving Walter’s embarrassment.

Just as Walter sat down Sue brough over his sandwich, the scent of it hitting your nostrils and making your stomach audibly growl;

“Oh wow, what is that?”

“A steak wrap with chimichurri sauce” he lifted one half and offered it to you, but you shook your head.

“Thanks, but that’s just a little too rare for me… looks like a good veterinarian could bring it back to life”

Walter laughed as you called out to Sue, ordering one of the same.

“You want yours still mooing too?”

“Medium, please” you laughed as she nodded and walked away.

As she cooked your meal you turned back to Walter. You’d had a few conversations with him over the 11 months he and Sy had worked together, but knew very little about him apart from his reputation of being quiet and surly, generally sleep deprived and a little pale most of the time. He’d been medically retired from the Police Department after an accident where he’d lost a lot of blood and had never fully recovered.

As Luna happily fed and Walter devoured his sandwich you sipped on your drink, watching with curiosity as the man ate in silence, savouring each bloody bite. When he finally crumpled the napkin onto the plate and sat back he caught you watching him;

“What? Do i have something on my face?”

“No” you laughed softly; “Just watching how quickly you devoured that sandwich. Rachel not feeding you at home?”

Walter’s face dropped;

“She left”

“Oh fuck. I’m sorry Walter, i wouldn’t have said anything if i’d known”

“S’ok. She got fed up with the way i lived my life, but i can’t change who i am”

“True”

Just then Sy and Mikey came running into the coffee shop;

“Hi Darlin! Hi Sue! Hi Walt… be right back, Jnr has a bathroom emergency!”

The two Syverson boys disappeared into the restroom, and you could clearly hear Sy’s voice;

“Point! POINT IT AT THE TOILET! That’s it, stand on your tippy toes… there we go! Got here in time!”

You suppressed a laugh, Walter raising his eyebrows;

“Potty training?”

“Uh-huh… it's been a challenging few weeks to say the least, but Mikey wanted to give it a go”

The sound of the dryer could be heard as Sy and Mikey reappeared, Sy giving you double thumbs up from behind his son who ran to you;

“A perfect aim Darlin, no leaks. Think this deserves a cookie!”

As Mikey squealed with joy you groaned;

“Sy… not more sugar! He’ll be up all night. Mikey, honey, how about some fries?”

“And Eggies?” Mikey asked

“Sure thing honey, get Daddy to ask Sue”

As the afternoon wore on and the boys chatted, you listened as Sy and Walter discussed work stuff, Luna sleeping peacefully in your arms as you ate with Mikey. Finally glancing at your watch you motioned to Sy the time;

“Hun, i’ve gotta go collect our meat order from Walkers Meats”

“Oh yeah, sure. Here…” He opened his wallet and peeled off a bunch of $20’s as he turned to Walter; “She makes the best Steak Tartare… it's unbelievable”

“You make that?” Walter asked

Angling Luna into her carrier sling you adjusted the straps and nodded;

“Sure do! Hey, did you want to join us for dinner?”

“Yeah, join us!” Sy parroted; “And before you say anything, you wouldn’t be intruding”

With a weak smile Walter nodded;

“Sure, that’ll be nice. I gotta go to the lumber yard before though… pick out the stuff for next week's job”

You noticed that Mikey had finished his meal and was looking sleepy, holding your hand out to him he slid off the chair and stood next to you;

“How about I take the kids home, Sy you catch a ride with Walter?”

With everyone happy with the arrangements you made your way along main street to where Sy had parked his enormous truck, helping Mikey into his seat before unlatching Luna and settling her into her carrier. They were both fast asleep by the time you got to the drivers seat. 

You managed to park directly outside the door to Walkers Meats, and Freya the weekend girl helpfully brought everything out to you when you called inside that the kids were asleep in the car and you didn’t want to leave them.

-

Dinner had been fun. The two kids were peacefully sleeping as the three adults chatted after the meal, before you finally stood to load the dishwasher and start hand washing the items that couldn’t go in there. Just as you were about to start you heard a cry from the kids, Sy standing;

“It’s Mikey, i’ll go”

As you started to handwash the various knives and delicate glasses, Walter stood at your side to dry items, the two of you talking casually before you let out a cry and pulled your hand from the soapy bowl of water. The dark crimson of your blood flowed from your finger, the knife you’d forgotten you’d put in the sink the cause;

“Fuck… hand me a towel…” you asked Walter, but were surprised when he sucked in a sharp intake of breath and turned, hunching over. Clutching your hand to your chest, you were surprised by his reaction, before he suddenly turned and you let out a shriek.

Sy appeared at the doorway in a panic before rushing to you, wrapping a napkin around your hand before he finally turned to look at Walter;

“What the fuck…”

Walter was pale, paler than usual, but that wasn’t what shocked the pair of you. No, it was the fact his eyes were pure white except for dark pools for his pupils, and as he opened his mouth to speak you saw his fangs;

“It’s… it’s the blood…” he gasped out; “It drives me…”

Sy wrapped his arm around your shoulders, but looked at his friend as he slumped onto the floor, shaking and sobbing;

“Think we need a chat Walt”

-

The three of you sat around the kitchen table, a hefty glass of scotch in front of each of you as Walter spoke;

“So umm yeah… this is why i left the Department. Went into a supposedly abandoned building, but it wasn’t empty. Two what we thought were junkies in there, looked like they were frail and would snap in a keen wind, but they had this strength and speed… They overpowered me, latched onto my neck. Drained my blood, and when the last drop was about to pass their lips one of my officers finally found me and shot them. They bled into me. The EMT’s took me to New Mercy and gave me a massive blood transfusion, and treated me for severe anemia… well guess what, the fangs and fucked up eyes were a surprise a few weeks after i was discharged”

You sat wide eyed and mouth agape, not touching your drink;

“I have so many questions...”

“Okay”

“Garlic. Crosses. Being invited in. Sunlight…”

Walter chuckled;

“Most a load of complete bollocks. Garlic? Well you put some in your steak tartare didn’t you? In fact it helps with the anemia. Crosses? No issue. Being invited in, again that’s just rubbish. Sunlight however… why do you think i’m so pale, huh? Have to wear factor 50 all the damn time otherwise i end up looking like a Maine Lobster at a cookout”

Both you and Sy were transfixed, Walter chatting away but his eyes hadn’t returned to normal and his fangs occasionally caught on his lip as he spoke.

“What ‘bout blood then?” Sy asked

Walter cleared his throat;

“Well, i’ve been making do with cows blood since Rachel left”

“You used to suck her blood?” you asked in a high pitched voice

Again Walter cleared his throat, this time just the faintest hint of a blush crept over his cheeks above his beard;

“Err yeah, about once a month… but she had enough in the end and left”

“I got another question” Sy interjected; “Why are your fangs still out?”

Although he answered Sy, Walter looked directly at you;

“Because she’s bleeding”

You looked down at your hand, puzzled as the wound had now sealed, before it hit you;

“Oh… I should go and sort that out”

Sy caught up quickly, glancing at the back of your dress;

“You’re fine Darlin, Walt caught it in time”

When you returned to the kitchen the two men had knocked back their drinks, Sy pouring another hefty glass for the pair of them. Pouring your drink into Sy’s you smiled at him;

“Luna won’t appreciate it”

Making yourself a herb tea you sat down next to Sy, leaning on his shoulder as you sipped your tea. Walter cleared this throat;

“You two have taken this a lot better than i envisioned anyone would… better than Rachel did…”

You looked up at Sy and smiled, his own grin crossing over his face before he nodded and you both turned to Walter as Sy spoke;

“Oh… we have a bit of understanding of this kinda thing”

With the full moon starting tomorrow night you knew that you could both force your eyes to turn orange, the bright ring of fire in your irises flaming like a pyre, shocking Walter so much he slipped back on his chair and fell to the floor. Greeted by both of you giggling, he pulled himself back up using the table as he righted his chair, knocking back the rest of his glass;

“What… the… FUCK?”

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

25. Part 3

Sitting on the floor of my basketball court out of breath, these niggas are really working me today “you tired nigga?” Ryan dapped me as he sat next to me “a little” I laughed, I been playing basketball since we came back, I invited some of the boys over to do that instead of going back out. Clearly the police will be on high alert, I did nothing wrong so I just thought I would do this for the rest of the night. I mean it’s not late, it’s just turning about nine “I am going to get a drink” getting up from the floor “look at this nigga, as soon as he starts losing he sat on the floor” I laughed shaking my head, my hands on my hips as I left the court. Maybe I am getting unhealthy, but they are whooping my ass on the court right now, I think it’s me. My mind is on the fact I done nothing, I am ignoring the fact I have so much to do and I don’t know what to do. I am not sure, I think London is peaceful but like I got no niggas to do shit with, it’s like I am bound to stay with Robyn and her friends which are cool but like where is my little friends, like I don’t know. I do like it here when I am not high as fuck, out here having fun. I just don’t like Robyn cussing me out, like that is uncalled for. I don’t want to say anything to her, I respect Robyn with all my heart, she is my wife, so I am just letting her get on with it and give her space. Tomorrow I will do something, with my home anyways. I love this home too much to let it go, even if the shit has bad memories I worked so hard on it. Sinko’ head shot up looking at me “man, I am tired” I huffed out shaking my head laughing, opening the fridge door. Grabbing the bottle of Fanta, banging the frige door shut. Opening the bottle turning to him, Sinko looked up at me again all wide eyed “what?” drinking from the bottle “you dogging us out for Rihanna now? She is having your baby” Sinko turned his phone to me, seeing the picture of Robyn and I which made me spit my drink out “eew, what the fuck. My phone” my heart is in my mouth right now “where did you get that from!? That is photoshop” that is the first thing to come to mind “you fucking spat drink at me!?” slamming the bottle down “where is that from!?” Sinko is moving away from me, but I am beat his fucking ass “what the fuck, why are you chasing me!? This is from her page, oh my god” gripping his tee “give me your phone!” I shouted “here, man. What the hell, you been out here lying” grabbing his phone, this is the shade room. That is a lie, it’s photoshop. Nobody is supposed to know this, I know this is not photoshop because I was there for the picture, but I don’t know, I am in denial. Typing in Robyn’ name, tapping on her profile “see, I didn’t lie” my heart just dropped seeing that she posted it.

Placing Sinko’ phone down on the counter “why are you so upset?” he asked “because I am stuck here! With you niggas, I liked it when nobody knows. Now look!” I shouted; everyone is just staring at me. I am confused, Robyn wouldn’t just air this out, what the fuck. Walking by some of the boys walking back inside “what happened?” hearing someone say “check the blogs” Sinko laughed saying, jogging up the steps. I left my phone in my room because honestly, I just didn’t want to argue with Robyn, I didn’t like that she is swearing at me, I was just trying to be the better man, but this is not good for me. What about me, why didn’t she wait for me. I thought we was doing this together and now I am stuck here with the vultures, she dogged me out like this. Grabbing my phone from the bed “Oh my god” my phone is going off, the time difference. Robyn will not be awake it’s so early in the morning there, but I will try, ignoring my notifications and calling Robyn, she did call me but just the once and that is it. All I am getting is missed calls from everyone and I do not know what is happening “come on Robyn, come on” I said pacing my room “fuck!” I spat; I am angry because she dogged me out I don’t know what to do.

I decided to call Mel, she is in Barbados and she never sleeps. I don’t want to speak to anyone else, I need answers and people are coming at me “I got your text nigga, you know I don’t sleep. You barely let me read it, what the fuck is up?” Mel picked up “what the fuck is she doing Mel!? I have been playing basketball, Robyn and I have been in a disagreement, what!?” I shouted “calm down Chris, didn’t she tell you? This is actually your fault. So I got the notifications from these fans, sending me messages of is it true. Some neighbour took a video of Rihanna saying welcome to the neighbourhood and the video shows your Lamborghini. The fans worked it out which meant blogs would pick it up, I called Robyn as soon as I found out. She didn’t take it well and panicked, so this is your fault in a way because of your cars. So she asked me what to do, I said break it before they do, and she did just that. She is angry at you; she doesn’t need you now and that you let her down. I said run your own show, but the marriage part has not been told at all” I am in shock, sitting on the edge of the bed “but I never knew! Fuck, Mel what am I going to do? We were supposed to do this together. I am alone here” I don’t know what to do “so is Robyn, she had to do what she needed Chris. I know it’s the deep end but just don’t act out and go with the flow” I feel like crying “yeah, people will come for me. I get the abuse!” disconnecting the call.

I don’t even want to look at Instagram, I can’t even bring myself to do it because it’s me that gets it with everything. They will say I forced her to be pregnant, seeing my mom calling. She has been calling me since I have been on the phone with Mel so let me pick up this time “hey” answering the call “you do pick your women! You got Rihanna pregnant!? She has destroyed you Chris, I cried hearing that news, why!? Why did you do to yourself Chris, no wonder you have changed. Are you crazy, those people made sure to bring you down, you haven’t been the same since being with her” worse person to be talking “I don’t want to be rude because Robyn wouldn’t agree but as much as she did me over, I also did to her. We both destroyed each other. Those people are now my family friends” I don’t want to be rude to her, I really don’t want that that “you will never see that baby, she will make sure you are some pathetic man on the side” I clenched my jaw “I will have more say in this girl’ life then I did for Royalty and Aeko put together, I am going to London. Robyn and I will be living together, so I will hear every cry, every diaper change, every gurgle, every burp, every smile. And I won’t miss a thing, you destroyed me, you left me out. Don’t ever say Robyn’ name in vain” my mom laughed “reminds me of when you started dating her, I don’t hate her. I hate you together” shaking my head “well we are together mom and trust me I will be obeying by her rules. I am drug free” the phone disconnected, oh wow she put the phone down on me, oh fucking well.

I don’t know why but I feel emotional, like I want to cry maybe it’s the hurt I am feeling from Robyn because she is hurting so much. Just hearing those words back to myself, I will obey Robyn when I have upset her. I wish I never sent my cars there, but I do want to change, I want to move there. Looking to the side of me “yes” she is ringing me back “hello” answering the call “hi Chris” I groaned out, not Dennis “that was nice of you, this phone has woke me so many times but I saw you call so I called back “I guess you heard” he said, clearing my throat “where is she? Is she ok?” I hope she is “erm, yes. Robyn is ok. She is asleep, she gave me her phone and doesn’t wish to see the things being said so I am minding her phone. Making notes of the people she needs to contact back and whatever, minding her social media but it’s a mess. Can I give you some advice, I have been working with Robyn a few years now and she is a strong character, but she rarely asks for help, or looks to people for help and she has with you. It hurts to see her become vulnerable, where she has asked for help with you and you haven’t come, it’s hard to watch. She really wants you and needs you here. It’s happened now with the cars. And reading things, it’s rude. And I hurt for you both, you should be back” putting my head down “tell her to call me, please” I need to hear her “I will, think about it. You need someone to mind your social too” I don’t trust anyone to do that for me like that “yeah, tell her please” I can imagine Robyn not wanting to know and ignore this request, but I do feel so bad about this.

I didn’t want to go downstairs but I did, and it’s like nobody left even though I have been upstairs for a few hours, I want them gone “hey, y’all! I need y’all go to, something came up and I need to deal with something that came up” I sound like I am upset but they don’t know the half of it “congratulations, like you got the fucking crown nigga. You got Rihanna pregnant, like you won. You won in this, you fucking won” Ryan pointed at me “shit, I know every nigga wanted that, imagine being her baby daddy” licking my lips smiling “thank you but I do need y’all to go, everyone” they think I am joking “whatever you want boss” watching Sinko walk over to me “so that is it huh, London visits been for that?” nodding my head “it has” I mean it is out now “you really got the love of your life knocked up, I can’t even fucking write it. How?” Sinko is in disbelief “one night, like she said. It was just one night, it happened. I fainted when I found out, I just need to have some alone time. You know, it’s not easy and that. I am happy but it’s just politics” dapping Sinko “cool, I got you. I am just shocked man, you did the full thing” he doesn’t know that I am also married, I have already been a bad husband. I am taking Zeus and running, I need to run because shit is coming my way now, I am going to have a queue of people, I need to call my bodyguard too.

Feeling my phone ring out on my chest, I just closed my eyes too “oh god” Royalty is awake at this time, you got to be kidding me right. I am ignoring everyone but this is my daughter, answering the call clearing my throat “hello” I answered “you know damn well it ain’t Royalty, her ass is asleep” I closed my eyes hearing Nia’ voice “I knew you would pick up if it was her name calling, now what the hell is going on? I mean I called your mom, but she was no use to me. She said you ruined yourself and now she lost her son, Rihanna Chris? Really? I saw the post and the little devil herself smiled at me and didn’t say anything” I guess that was Royalty “I am also married” I blurted out “what!?” Nia shouted down my ear “hold up, Chris. What? Are you ok? I mean you aren’t drugged up right?” Nia said in shock “I took Royalty to Mexico and she was there for the day, I eloped with Rihanna. I am married Nia, I am not drugged. This is me, I stopped drugs since being with her” the phone fell silent, I just felt like saying it and I don’t know if it was a good or bad thing “I am literally getting emotional from the shock, oh my god. Wait, is that why. That child of mine knew” she said down the phone “you married your teenage love, awww Chris. Wow. That is shocking, I mean she didn’t put that on there” I swallowed hard “I know, that is us hiding away from the backlash, but yeah” I sound so sad “you don’t sound happy, I mean you married Rihanna!? Come on!” that made me laugh “I mess up things and it’s like I am losing things here, I don’t know” I am confused “fuck those things, like I don’t know. I mean we only share a daughter, that is amazing Chris. You stopped drugs? Wow, I am super happy for you. Like for my daughter too, but for you. Chris, this is really good” I literally made a mess, a mess Robyn is having to deal with alone “don’t tell anyone about the married thing, I need to go back to London. I didn’t manage to get Royalty’ gifts, tell her I am sorry”  I think I need to just go now “acting like you not going to speak to her, you can tell her that but I can always get it her, just tell me it. Wow, this is unreal. Married, but I won’t say anything. Just know that I am happy for you, I think also Royalty is happy for you, you know she is your biggest fan” that she is.

For my own sanity I didn’t bother to be with my phone, but my own mind is just racing. Dennis bless his soul; he is taking it for me. And it is what it is now, I guess it’s out there now but not the way I wanted it too. It was rushed, no content behind it “are you awake?” Dennis said outside my door “come in!” I shouted, I heard him earlier come to ask if I was awake, but I didn’t want to know so he has come back around again “drama, drama, drama. I feel like your assistant. Tina is awake by the way, she is helping me too, so. How is Robyn, and baby Fenty” Dennis climbed onto the bed “we are stressed” rubbing my bump smiling “stop it, I turned off your comments. First time ever, I was done. Sorry” nodding my head “that is fine, what is the damage?” Dennis should quit photography and be my assistant because he is good at this “me and Tina was going back and forth, both Jay’ are after you, shock horror. Oh yeah. Chris called, he was in hysterics and emotionally not happy, I told him. I said Robyn is asleep or whatever, he asked for you to call him” I rolled my eyes “I called him, he didn’t pick up when I was going through it. Was he being emotional about it?” if he is then that means he will not let me be sad, I will have to console him “uh yes he was, Mel told me she called him because he called her. He was going around the houses, so he does know, she also said he was emotional about it. He said that he will be get the abuse about it, so what next? The picture is doing pretty well, it’s doing it’s rounds anyways, around the blogs and whatever” Dennis says what is next, but I didn’t prepare for this “ouch” I didn’t prepare for the pain right now either “ouch? Oh we not doing birth now are we?” shaking my head “no, I hope not anyways. Erm, so this is all getting pretty wild, I need to face both Jay’ I need to have my team on my side, I guess. This was all supposed to be clean sailing, I swear I had a fucking plan. So yes, tell Tina to prepare that for me. Was anyone happy for me?” I need to know “there was a few, but I think there was more shock emojis then anything. But they have really ran with Chris being searched by the police, you have a thug in your life. That is the words they used” rolling my eyes “nice” I sighed out “if you can just give me my phone, I will contact Chris. Thank you so much for taking care of that for me. I know, pregnancies are supposed to be magical and loving, but you know. People won’t allow that” Dennis shuffled off of the bed “I wouldn’t have it any other way” he is a sweetheart.

I’ve been feel the tightening on the lower abdomen, but it’s very random it will happen, but I think it’s me. I am stressing out, like I am happy. Let me just call Chris, I wonder if he will let me be sad with him. Tapping on his name, I didn’t bother to see anything else just speak to Chris and then get out of bed. Letting it ring out on speakerphone, if he doesn’t pick up then I am not trying again “Robyn?” he picked “hey” taking my phone off speaker and placing on my ear “Robyn, man. What the fuck? I am so sorry, I didn’t think that would cause an issue, I am literally wanting to move my things to you, that was it” he said “I know, I didn’t blame you. It happened now and it happened in a way I didn’t want it too. I did call you, but you didn’t pick up, were you sleeping?” he must have been because he is awake now and it’s eight hours behind there so now he is all wide awake “I was uhm” I already know, he is not saying it straight up “I was playing basketball, all you were doing is swearing at me, it was pointless Robyn. I missed it because of that I regret it, I am sorry” I sniggered “my fault then, I don’t ask much from you. That could have been a call about me being in labour and you missed it, you had a tantrum because I swore at you, now don’t you think I am even more fucking angry now!?” I spat “I am sorry, I was sick of hearing you cuss me out” I swear he gets on my nerves “I barely fucking cussed you out, I said you are useless when I ask what you did! How the fuck are you doing a mixtape when I am ready to give birth, you don’t fucking think. You think of stupid shit, you know what. Me, it’s my fault. I sent you to California with no guidance, I should know that you have no sense. God forbid you upset your fucking friends that need your vocals. I mean what is the third baby, you missed the rest” Chris put the phone down on me, I expected much when he said he is fed of me.

Looking up at the laptop “so are well in agreement?” Tina said, I have no idea what she said, “what did you say?” I have to ask “that you release another picture, with more words and just say how you kept it from the world. Jen agrees don’t you” my mind is elsewhere, maybe I should calm down with Chris “as for now, your publicist said to not do anything. Jay Brown wants you to stop what you are doing until then, but I say release something else, keep it going until they understand why you kept it away. Not a pity party but to also show you are happy. Because the post, when I read it. It was like oh shit, we got caught we are having a baby bye. So I think we need to make another post, equally goes to Chris whatever he is doing. He needs to show more, including the fact he is an active father, he also needs to shut up his baby mothers before we do” Jen said, she is half asleep speaking “I will say it to him, I will think on it. But ladies, be here for the meeting later I guess” I smiled at them “we will, oh my god. You are so adorable pregnant” Jen said “it’s been so long, and I am amazed” I cooed out, it has been so long since she has seen me.

I called him back since he put the phone down on me, I am doing it because I have been on his case and I am disappointed in him, but his emotions work differently, and I got to accept that. He gets side tracked and he just can’t help it, he’s the very kid that will go up to something if it’s shiny and not think of the bad. It’s me, I feel bad I should know him “hi” he picked up at least “hey, what are doing?” least like to know “sat in my yard smoking a blunt on my own, why?” he’s on his own, I expected his friends to be around “just wanted to know, I uhm. I am sorry, for what I said. When someone is wanting to be better, I can’t just throw that to them. I just want you to know I am sorry for that, when I release that it wasn’t because I wanted too but it was because I had too, I had no choice and I am not asking. I am telling you to come back now, you drop what you are doing because we are supposed to be doing this together” I think I have decided, to myself that is. That I may need to help Chris with himself, like I do forget and think he is ok so when he is sad and I am sad, his sadness is even worse then mine and I can’t be sad, I married him for him and I am just going to back off, try my best to not want to cuss him out anyways “I let you down, I fucked up. Like I shamed you already, I am so sorry. They all right I don’t deserve you” Chris is a wreck clearly “Chris, I want you back. Like now, get on the jet. Bring a bodyguard with you to escort you, don’t act stupid when you land here either. No weed either, listen to me Chris. Don’t read into anything or speak to anyone. Just come back, I am not angry with you, I need you” Chris is really crying “I feel alone though, like I don’t know what to do” chewing on my bottom lip watching my mom sit down “you do, you’re coming back here. I will call you again, I expect you to be making movements ok? I love you Chris”  trying to hear out for him, I can hear him sniffling “I love you too” he seems really hurt, I think maybe I didn’t help, disconnecting the call “doesn’t he want to come back?” my mom asked “he’s not taking it well, I have been at him you see” my emotions is very much in the air.

[ashes-and-ashes]

*Tanky = the real ship of my whole friend group feat my two friend Tan and Ky.

~

“Bullshit. There is no possible way that you don’t think that they are cute.”

Sirius doesn’t even bother to look at Remus’ phone, out on the table in front of them. “Jesus Christ Re. Get your creepy fanfics out of here.”

“They’re not my fanfics,” Remus says petulantly. “I can’t write as good as this. There’s this guy on Tumblr - you’ll like his username, it’s @siriusly-over-it and his writing is amazing. Incredible. Like, listen: Tan’s eyes were like the sun, all golden light and fire, so bright that Ky was burning - “

“Oh sweet Jesus,” Sirius mutters. “Now he’s reading me gay porn.”

“They haven’t done anything yet,” Remus tells him. “But the author just recently changed the rating on the fic from an M to an E, so hopefully that means I’ll at least get some smut.”

Sirius stares at him, a wounded expression on his face. “You prefer a gay porno fanfic over me?”

Remus shakes his head. He snatches his phone up from the table; Sirius had refused to even glance at the screen. With a sigh he thumbs through his Tumblr account, past all the familiar fanarts and all the incorrect quotes. He pauses on one image - it’s a drawing, the colours dark and beautful, the twisted bodies somehow conveying sorrow and joy both at the same time. “See? How can you not ship Tanky after this?”

“I do ship Tanky,” Sirius says. “I just don’t ship them enough to write a 70k essay on them boning.”

“Not all stories are of them boning.”

“The vast majority of them are.”

“As if you wouldn’t like to read an explicit 70k, enemies-to-lovers, hate sex - “

“And nope.” Sirius stands up; he cards his fingers through his hair, tugging at the dark strands. “This is where I vanish, before my boyfriend gets a boner talking about fictional characters.”

Remus rolls his eyes. Sirius’ lips quirk up in a small smile; he wraps his hand in the neck of Remus’ hoodie, yanking him across the table to kiss him hard. Remus relaxes, lets Sirius run his hands over his waist, finishing off the kiss with a sharp nip at his lower lip.

“Ow. That hurts.”

Sirius winks. “Maybe you can search that up next. ‘Tanky, lip biting, slow burn - ‘“

“Oh you’ve totally searched that up before.”

Sirius just laughs, shrugging his backpack on one shoulder. “Maybe. Maybe I’m a secret fanfic writer by night.”

Remus flips him off. “Seriously- “

“Yes?”

“Fuck you. It’s pretty incredible - there’s this entire community on there, and you can either write or just lurk around like I do!”

Sirius leans his head on Remus’ shoulder. He smiles, breath warming Remus’ skin. “You and your creepy cult.”

Remus shoves him and laughs.

~

The light wakes him up.

He’s always been a light sleeper, ever since Grayback came. He can still remember it; the creaking of the door, the soft footfalls padding across he carpet. Grayback’s face, the utter hunger that had crossed his face as he whispered, “Look what we have here.”

Remus shudders, pulling the blanket tighter around him. 5 foster houses later and he still couldn’t get Grayback out of his head, erase the feeling of fingers and knives and choking. The scars never faded either, another mark that Grayback had left.

He’s not quite sure what it is - the light is down, barely enough to be noticeable. Remus turns in his bed, searching the dark room for the light.

His gaze falls on Sirius; he was obviously on his phone under the covers, the thick blanket not enough to hide the greenish glow emitting from the screen. His back was facing Remus, hair spread out against the pillow; Remus could see his chest rising and falling in time with his breaths.

God he loved Sirius, more then he had loved anything in his life. He still remembers the exact moment; lying on the ground, blood gushing from his nose, Sirius’s face pale and white above him. There were two boys who were taunting him, calling him all sorts of names. It shouldn’t have bothered Remus but it did, bothered him enough that he snapped, all fists and snaps and a red haze.

Afterwards he lay on the ground, his nose gushing blood, Sirius’ hand so tight on his.

“Why?” Sirius whispered - his hands were shaking. “Why did you - “

Remus looked at him and it clicked, that word he had been searching for and forgotten, that tiny voice in the back of his head. Because I love you.

Remus takes a deep breath now, lets it go in a steady steam. He turns around in bed, pulling the blankets with him, tries to stop the trembling.

He never used to be afraid of the dark. It was only After, when every shadow looked like Him, when just the mere feeling of sheets against his legs made him want to throw up. There was always a light in his room; a candle, a lamp, the bathroom switch flicked on and the door half-closed. Always something, that prevented the room from turning into pure darkness, too similar being knocked unconscious.

Remus shakes his head quickly. He can’t - not right now, can’t deal with all the memories swirling around in his subconscious. The walls were starting to close around him, and he could breathe -

With a soft curse, Remus shrugs the covers back and sits up. The stone is cold against his feet - he swears again, before crossing the room to Sirius’ bed. He taps him lightly, with one finger. “Sirius?”

There’s a muffled “Fuck!” and Sirius pokes his head out. His cheeks are flushed, eyes bright, and Remus was about to sit on the bed when -

“Are you watching porn?” Remus asks.

Sirius flushes - even in the dim light Remus can see the red rise in his cheeks. “No!”

“Your cheeks are flushed. You look like you’ve just been - “

“No,” Sirius says. “Filters. Remember that, Re? It means perhaps reconsidering what stupid thing you were going to say, and then not saying it.”

“Bullshit,” Remus says; he can still see the glowing surface of the phone screen. “You were totally up to something. Let me see.”

“No!”

Remus makes a wild lunge for it; Sirius immediately rolls back, protecting the phone with his body. They go back and forth for a bit, all elbows and knees and even teeth - Sirius bites Remus viciously on the shoulder.

“Shit!” Remus swears.

“Shut up. That’s barely a love bite.”

“It’s brusing!”

“Hopefully it’ll go purple.”

Remus glowers at him, then launches himself forward. He manages to grab Sirius’ phone, fastening his fingers through the popsocket. The phone had long since turned off but Remus doesn’t bother - he enters in Sirius’ password. “Okay, here I - “

“Oh god, Sirius says; he bucks wildly but Remus refuses to let him go. “Don’t - don’t look - “

Remus stares at the open Tumblr page. “Oh. Whoops.”

Sirius drops his hands in his head. “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck - “

Remus shakes his head - he’s too entrenched in the fic. He pauses at a sentence. “Jesus Christ, Sirius, this is beautiful. Listen; Love is like a fire. Even as it burns it needs more, more and more wood until finally you run out. And once that happens, you’re screwed. Better take your chances and jump.” He looks at Sirius, his grin so wide he thinks his cheeks might have exploded. “Dude, this is amazing, what’s your blog - “

“Wait!”

Remus pulls the top notification down, stares at the most of names that had helped them all in the past. “What the fuck?

“Look, I can - “

“No.” Remus practically drops the phone, his eyes wide and clear. “You’re kidding.”

“I - “

“You’re @siriusly-over-it?”

[lancetuckershairgel]

Summary: Chris and Lucy are reunited.

Words: 1,977

Warnings: Stealing, language, emotions, slight mention of former drug use

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Tag List: @book-dragon-13 @jobean12-blog @marvelgirl7 @southernbell91 @buckysforeverprincess @anxiousamandapanda @buckysteveloki-me @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety

AN: Cant do a read more. Also it was brought to my attention that several people didnt get notifications for Chaoter Four that was posted early last week so if you get the notification on this one let me know.

Chris climbed into his truck with a groan, his back stiff and head mildly aching. He rested his head back against the headrest of his seat and closed his eyes, no longer having to rush anywhere. The day had been long and he thanked God that it was Friday. Chris had taught three safety courses to the different fifth grade classes and had two meetings with disgruntled parents about a bullying situation and then he went straight to the college after work. School greeted him with an essay presentation, which he hated, and two exams that he really should have prepared better for. 

Chris rubbed his weary eyes and ran his hand over his beard before finally sitting straight and turning on the ignition. The red Ford came to life with a grumble and he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway. Normally he would have gone straight home after class, especially with how tired he was, but not only was it a Friday night it was also a three day weekend and he was looking forward to an extended weekend and day off.  

"You can't take care of others if you others take care of yourself." Chris' psychology professor would say at the end of every lecture.

"You need a break Chris, you always put too much on yourself." Erin often told him during one of their phone conversations or occasional meet ups at the bar. 

"Yolo." 

Chris never quite understood that one but the teens at the middle school seemed to use it as a personal mantra. After driving for a few miles he took a right and pulled into a gas station lot and parked. Reed's Gas Mart had been around for a long time. One of the oldest businesses in town, owned by a simple old man, had been around since 1958. The place had quite the reputation built around it. From the late fifties to the early eighties it was a place all the kids came to for an after school milkshake and a handful of candy and to listen to Jerry tale his stories. Unfortunately times changed and things became less simple. Teenagers still frequented the store but not for the shakes.  Early in Chris' career as a police officer he'd made a few drug busts in the parking lot but well before that he himself had done a few things he wasn't proud of out back behind the dumpsters. Old man Jerry had caught Chris and a few buddies of his with a crack pipe once and chased them off with a broom, giving Chris a few good whacks across the back of the head all the while hollering about telling his mother. All had been forgiven though and Jerry was a good man, hard worker, and he wasn't going to let a few punk kids ruin his business. Chris gave a slight smile at the memories and entered the store, the ding of the bell overhead indicating that he had arrived. 

"Hey Jerry." Chris greeted the hunched over, white haired man 

"Hey Chris." 

Jerry's reply was short and he didn't look up at the off duty officer. His eyes were focused across the room, narrowed toward the candy aisle. 

"I got one. Just stuffed a chocolate bar in the back of 'er pants."

Chris rolled his eyes. Jerry used to love having kids come into his store, he'd even given Chris and his siblings free ice cream cones on the really hot summer cones when they were younger, but over time as Jerry aged and more and more people used his store as their personal sinning grounds the less excited the man became to see a youngster enter his store. He was always suspicious of anyone under the age of twenty five, convinced they were all up to no good. 

"I'll keep an eye out." Chris chuckled lightly as he walked over to a rack of snacks. 

Chris grabbed a bag of beef jerky and peered across the shelves at the suspected thief. To his dismay he indeed witnessed a crime. What was even more disheart was the fact that he recognized the beg being used to stuff merchandise inside. Blue, faded, torn. Rainbow pin and sharpie "artwork". Even with her hood pulled tight over her head, a classic move to avoid facial recognition on the security tapes, Chris knew that it was Lucy. He watched for a few seconds as she grabbed another item and quickly shoved it into her bag. 

"Come on kid, what are you doing?" Chris thought to himself

Lucy made her way to the back of the store, near the personal care items and Chris ducked down and watched through the large circular mirror on the wall as she stuffed another box into her backpack. He sighed and made his way to the counter. 

"You're right." Chris ssigh to Jerry with a sigh

"Goddamn kids." Jerry muttered under his breath

"Let me handle it, alright?" 

"Fine but I want her out of here and if I catch her anywhere near my store I'll give her the whooping she deserves, you hear me Christopher?" Jerry wagged his crooked finger in Chris' face

"You'll do no such thing old man." Chris rolled his eyes "Put that thing away and go back to  watching the game. I'll take care of this."

Lucy's head was down low as she quickly grabbed the items she had came for. Headphones were plugged into her ears and heavy metal played loudly to calm her nerves. her heart pounded in her chest as she rounded the corner to make her exit and she froze in her tracks. 

"Shit." She muttered when she saw Chris standing at the counter staring at her with disappointment, his arms crossed over his chest. 

"Hey Luce." Chris finally said after a prolonged stare down 

Chris could easily read body language thanks to his training in the academy. He knew how to spot suspicious behavior or signs of an abuse victim and he learned to read people by how their left eye twitched or how they shifted from foot to foot. Lucy may have looked defiant, shoulders back and head high, eyes glaring death rays in a dare to interfere with her mission but Chris could see behind that. Her fingers tightened around the strap of her bookbag until her knuckles were white. Her bottom lip quivered slightly. Her pupils were wide and pleading. Lucy was scared. 

"Whatcha got there?" Chris took a step forward and relaxed his arms as he gestured toward her bag

"None of your business." Lucy snarled as she stared down Chris

"Come on, hand it over." Chris sighed. He Judy wanted to go home, get a nice buzz off a few beers, watch Game of Thrones, and go to bed. 

Lucy mentally walked herself through her options. Would she be able to get out the back door before Chris caught her? What if he called backup and her name ended up on a wanted list and cops showed up at the school? 

"I'm fucked." Lucy said to herself and decided to comply. Maybe Chris would go easy on her. 

Slowly she handed over the incriminating bag and Chris took it. He eyed Lucy disapprovingly  as he looked inside and her face blushed furiously with humiliation and anger as piece after piece of the stolen merchandise was pulled out and placed on the counter. A box of tampons, a box of bandaids, a few cans of soup, a roll of half used toilet paper, and a bottle of equally used hand soap lined the counter. Chris furrowed his brow as studied the items. 

"And the candy bar Missy." Jerry gruffed out with a glare

Chris glanced at Lucy and she hesitated. The chocolate was the one thing she was really hoping to get out with. Chris held out his hand impatiently and Lucy reached behind her back and pulled the Hershey bar out of her pocket. She slammed it into Chris' palm with such force that the pieces broke apart. With a sigh Chris put it on the counter with the other items. 

"What do you have to say for yourself girl? Stealing from a hardworking old man, none of you have any respect for your elders anymore! Need a good ass whoopin is what you need. Even stole from the bathroom." Jerry ranted and Lucy visibly cringed

"That's enough, Mr Reed." Chris interrupted 

"I want her dealt with Christopher. Arrest her."

Lucy tensed and Chris held up his hand 

"Just wait a minute Jerry. Look at what she's got here. This looks like necessary stuff, doesn't it? Luce? Is everything okay at home?"

"That's not your business." Lucy held back the tears, letting anger overcome the sadness 

"Is your dad not buying things you need?" 

"Stay out of it!" Lucy hissed through her teeth, shaking

"I can't help if you don't talk to me, kiddo." Chris tried "Lucy I ca-"

"You're not in charge anymore. You don't work for my school because you left." Lucy spit the word out like it left a bad taste in her mouth and she stepped closer to Chris "You're not even on duty, you can't do shit. What are you even wearing?" 

Chris looked down at his red plaid button up shirt and frowned. 

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing" Chris asked, slightly offended 

 The realization that Lucy had never seen him without of his uniform came too late. Lucy had snatched the Hershey bar and bolted, the door slamming shut behind her. 

"Lucy!" Chris shouted but there was no use. The girl was gone. Chris groaned and buried his face in his hands as he leaned against the counter. 

"She left the property. I'm calling the police." Jerry stated as he picked up the landline phone

"For christ sake old man it's a candy bar. Puts you back what? A buck twenty five?" Chris took the phone and put it back on the receiver and slammed a couple dollars on the counter "In fact…"

He walked back to the cooler to grab his sought after beer then grabbed a proper back of bathroom tissue and a bottle of soap. 

"How much for all of it?"

Jerry shook his head but began to ring up the groceries. 

"You keep coddling these kids, Christopher, and none of them will learn their lesson. It'll be $48.62. "

"No wonder people steal from you." Chris jokes as he ran his credit card through the machine. He knew Jerry couldn't control the inflation and prices of goods these days. The old man swatted at him but did crack a toothless grin. 

Chris bid farewell to Jerry and took the bags out to his truck. He placed them in the front seat and drove off, keeping an eye out for Lucy the whole way home. He had no idea where she lived and with it being a holiday weekend it'd be Tuesday before he could get Erin to get her address out of the file. 

"Hang in there kid." Chris muttered as he parked the truck in his driveway. 

Lucy ran until her lungs burned. Tears streamed down her face and she collapsed to her knees, sobbing. She shouldn't have to steal to provide for her family. She cursed herself for not telling Chris what was going on but she couldn't. He wouldn't help her, he'd just call the social services and they'd ruin everything. She caught her breath and wiped her eyes angrily before standing up and brushing the dirt off her jeans, cursing herself again for getting them dirty knowing it'd be a few days before she could wash them. She clutched the broken candy bar and made her way back home not ready to face the fact that she was going to turn up empty handed. 

[uncertainlogic-a]

Hi i love your blog! I would love to know your thoughts on Sarek's experience of Vulcans (disapproval of? Dislike for?) Humans/human cultures (if you want to share about it)

[NOTE: Please do not reblog this, especially personal blogs! I know I have a few who follow me who might not be familiar with RP etiquette, but reblogging posts from RP blogs can clog up our notifications and make it difficult for us to keep track of our threads.]

Thank you!

This particular topic is a big deal to me!

I think one of the things that makes it difficult to figure out what he thinks on these topics is that his canon is spread out over so many series and films, so I'm going to cover as much of it as I can here. Another thing that makes it difficult is that he just... doesn't always say what he means, and those around him seem to misinterpret him at times, so I'll try to cover that too. Which means I'm going to do SO MUCH RAMBLING before I actually directly answer your question. Whoops. 

[A message from me in the future: This ended up being about 2,000 words, and I’m so sorry.]

In his first appearance, Journey to Babel, he doesn't say much about Spock being bullied himself, although it does come up in the intense confrontation between Spock and Amanda.

SPOCK: Mother, how can you have lived on Vulcan so long, married a Vulcan, raised a son on Vulcan, without understanding what it means to be a Vulcan?

AMANDA: If this is what it means, I don't want to know.

SPOCK: It means to adopt a philosophy, a way of life, which is logical and beneficial. We cannot disregard that philosophy merely for personal gain, no matter how important that gain might be.

AMANDA: Nothing is as important as your father's life.

SPOCK: Can you imagine what my father would say if I were to agree, if I were to give up command of this vessel, jeopardize hundreds of lives, risk interplanetary war, all for the life of one person?

AMANDA: When you were five years old and came home stiff-lipped, anguished, because the other boys tormented you saying that you weren't really Vulcan. I watched you, knowing that inside that the human part of you was crying and I cried, too. There must be some part of me in you, some part that I still can reach. If being Vulcan is more important to you, then you'll stand there speaking rules and regulations from Starfleet and Vulcan philosophy, and let your father die. And I'll hate you for the rest of my life.

This is very closely connected to a conversation in the TAS episode Yesteryear, in which we see a conversation between Sarek and Spock when Spock was seven years old. This takes place shortly after Spock was bullied by other children because his father "brought shame to Vulcan" when he married a Human.

SAREK: Spock, being Vulcan means following disciplines and philosophies that are difficult and demanding of both mind and body.

YOUNG SPOCK: Yes, father.

SAREK: You constantly display your emotions. You have even been seen fighting in the street.

YOUNG SPOCK: Yes, father.

SAREK: The time draws near when you will have to decide whether you will follow Vulcan or human philosophy. Vulcan offers much. No war, no crime. Order, logic and control in place of raw emotions and instinct. Once on the path you choose, you cannot turn back.

[...]

SAREK: Soon you will undergo your test of adulthood in the desert. To survive for ten days without food, water or weapon on Vulcan's Forge will demand more of you than anything ever has. To fail once is not a disgrace for others. If you fail, there will be those who will call you a coward all your life. I do not expect you to fail.

YOUNG SPOCK: What if I do, father?

SAREK: There is no need to ask that question. You will not disappoint me. Not if your heart and spirit are Vulcan.

We can see a few things here. First of all, Sarek doesn't seem to be forcing Spock to be fully Vulcan, but telling him that if he chooses a Vulcan philosophy, it will be difficult and demanding. I think it's important to remember that Vulcans have extremely powerful emotions which Humans have difficulty controlling. In the TNG episode Sarek, when Picard has to take on Sarek's emotions, Picard is just sobbing in total despair. When Sarek was in an emotional state, his telepathy also caused everyone on the Enterprise to have fistfights in Ten Forward (since Vulcans aren't actually just touch telepaths but let's have that conversation another time). Sarek can't know how Spock, a half-Human, will be able to deal with Vulcan emotions or if he'll be able to function around other people if he doesn't learn to suppress those emotions. Yet he does still give him that choice!

Now, that second part of the conversation does get a little harsh, and I don't think it's a Great Parenting Moment on Sarek's part. He is putting too much pressure on Spock, and Spock nearly dies because of it. However, I think where he's coming from is Spock faces constant discrimination for being half-Human, so any mistake he makes will be blamed on his Human blood instead of just... an entirely understandable childhood mistake. 

I also think that his words are simply unclear here. When he says "I do not expect you to fail" and "you will not disappoint me", Spock takes that to mean that his father will be ashamed of him if he doesn't succeed. I think Sarek's actual intention was to affirm that he has confidence in his son. Notice, he says "there will be those who will call you a coward" making it very clear that this doesn't mean Spock will actually BE a coward or that Sarek himself will think of him this way. The problem is, of course, that Spock is very young and these little nuances of speech aren't things you want to leave up in the air.

Going back to Journey to Babel, when Sarek is not speaking directly to his son, he is much more expressive about how he feels when he believes Spock is being belittled:

SAREK: You embarrassed Spock this evening. Not even a mother may do that. He is a Vulcan.

AMANDA: He's also human.

SAREK: He's a Starfleet officer.

AMANDA: I thought you didn't approve of Starfleet.

SAREK: It is not a question of approval. The fact exists. He is in Starfleet. He must command respect if he is to function.

AMANDA: Sarek, you're proud of him, aren't you? You're showing almost human pride in your son.

SAREK: It does not require pride to ask that Spock be given the respect which is his due. Not as my son, but as Spock.

I don't really know how, as an entire ass fandom we pretend this conversation didn't happen, but. This is pretty straight forward. Although he's NOT talking about how he was mistreated by other Vulcans here, it's a glimpse into how he must have reacted to Spock being bullied as a child as well. And that last bit is important, I think. Spock received a lot of bullying specifically because Sarek married a Human woman, and it's possible he would take that personally. However, it's clear here that he wants Spock to have respect for the sake of SPOCK, not because it reflects on his own reputation. That is such a big part of his characterization to me that I think gets lost...

Now, I'm going to jump over to Discovery, because there's a lot of great stuff in there. Unfortunately, I don't have as much access to transcripts and stuff, so I'll do my best.

The first thing I have to address is the argument between Sarek and Amanda in Light and Shadows, because a lot of what Amanda says gets taken at face value, and I don't think it should be. 

AMANDA: You never truly respected Humanity.

SAREK: If that were true, I would've married a Vulcan.

AMANDA: Would you have left Vulcan for me? No, you wouldn't. I sacrificed everything for our family.

I think it's really, really important to look at the context of this conversation. Spock is mentally unstable, something that Amanda says was one of her greatest fears. I think it's clear that it was also one of Sarek's greatest fears. Amanda believes that Sarek blames his weaknesses (including his dyslexia, which he inherited from her) on his Humanity, and I can see how his answer seems weak. Like, oh I married you, so I must like Humans. But I don't think that's what he's saying. I think he's saying that he married her knowing they would have a half-Human child, and if he believed Humanity would make his child weak, he wouldn't have had such a child. I think Amanda also knows that somewhere, because she changes the topic so quickly, do you see her? It goes directly from "you don't respect Humanity" to "would you have left Vulcan for me." This is great dialogue, because it's like a real argument. It's not necessarily a fair criticism; it's one you make when you're feeling vulnerable and scared.

She doesn't even wait for him to answer. Would he have said no here? It's hard to tell. Looking back at Yesteryear, it would seem perhaps he would have raised Spock on Earth if Spock would've chosen a more Human philosophy for his life. I think it would've been extremely difficult for him to leave Vulcan... Look at the room they're in. Those are the death masks of his family. This is where their katra stones are. Leaving behind Vulcan for him is more than just a simple move, it's leaving a piece of himself behind. And perhaps it is the same for Amanda, but it's hard to know. I don't think she really would have preferred to stay on Earth, if she weren't so upset in the moment, given other things she says, but I'm sure this is something in the back of her mind. Does he love her as much as she loves him? Would he make sacrifices for her? It's natural to have those questions even in a strong relationship.

ANYWAY, all of this is to say that I don't think this conversation shows that Sarek thinks Vulcan is a better place for their family or that he looks down on Humanity at all. I think it's an argument between a married couple in a very stressful situation. Like... his voice shakes in this argument because he's so worried about his children. It's a lot for both of them.

Another line that WEIRDLY gets taken at face value is from the episode Lethe.

VULCAN DIRECTOR: Upon completion, [Spock] will apply to the expeditionary group and then there will be not one but two non-Vulcans in its ranks.

SAREK: Spock is...

VULCAN DIRECTOR: Half Vulcan. Another of your experiments. The integration of Humans into our culture is an admirable goal, but it must be titrated. In honor of your position and reputation, I will accept one of your not-quite Vulcans.

SAREK: You... ask me to make an impossible choice.

VULCAN DIRECTOR: Your reaction to this is quite illogical and suggests a conclusion based on emotion.

I don't know why people think that this asshole Vulcan director's line about Spock and Michael being Sarek's experiments to integrate Humans into Vulcan culture is just the whole gospel truth, but here we are. And I wish I could make gifs on my broke ass computer so I could show the extent of Sarek's reaction to what the director said, because he is so OPENLY emotional in that moment (as the director then points out) that he must be feeling quite a lot for it to actually make it to the surface. Sarek is regularly referred to as having an incredibly disciplined mind across all the Star Trek series. The two times he falters and shows emotion in Discovery are when Amanda is questioning his devotion to Spock and when the Vulcan director forces him to choose between his children.

Some may take the fact he chose Spock as favoring the more Vulcan of his two children, but I don't think that's true at all. I don't think he considers Michael less important because she's Human; I think he thought she had a better chance to succeed off of Vulcan than Spock had. Like he said, it was an impossible choice, but he made what he thought was the best one given the circumstances.

I have so much more to say about Lethe, but this response is already getting toward 2,000 words, so I'll move on to the episode Brother.

MICHAEL: When I first came to you, I know that you considered every possible effect a Vulcan education, a Vulcan life might have on a Human child. What did you want Spock to learn from me?

SAREK: Empathy. Something he would need to understand to successfully interact with Humans.

Again, this entire conversation is HONESTLY GREAT, and I could also go on about it. BUT. For the purposes of this post, I think it's really important to note that Sarek didn't ignore Spock's Human side, and in fact nurtured it when he brought Michael into the house.

Some might take this to mean the "experiment" line was true, but that's not what's going on here. Sarek didn't seek out a Human child to bring in and teach Spock empathy. He took in Michael, and then considered how this change in his family dynamic would affect everyone. This isn't manipulative, it's an attempt to create the best possible situation.

Furthermore, it's pretty telling that both Sarek and MIchael take it for granted that Spock couldn't learn empathy from Sarek. I expect this is because Sarek suppresses his emotions, but let's think about what this conversation is about. Sarek... tried to understand how bringing Michael into his home and raising her on Vulcan would affect her and how she would affect Spock. And neither of them recognize this as empathy. Sure, it's a methodical and logical kind of empathy, but it has the same purpose and result as a natural empathy.

And I need to tie this all together before it becomes even more ridiculously long than it already is.

Sarek respects and cares for Humans as equals. He didn't marry Amanda because she's Human, he married her because he loves her. This has been supported by all versions of Sarek, even including AOS where he's barely developed. The fact that he married Amanda for love is a key aspect of his character. So, he fell in love with a Human woman, had a half-Human child, and adopted a Human child. 

He also loves Vulcan and is clearly closely tied to Vulcan society and culture. To him, these things are not in conflict with his love for his Human family. The conflict is created by this bigotry in his own culture, and he (rightfully) considers bigotry illogical. Because he believes in logic and Vulcan philosophy in general, he believes that there is a logical way to combat bigotry by showing that his children are just as capable of success as any Vulcan.

The memory that he fights Michael tooth and nail to hide isn't just about him "choosing Spock." It's about the fact he was WRONG. He was wrong about his children being accepted and he was wrong about logic winning out over bigotry. He could not shield them from society no matter how perfect they were. When we see him in Discovery, he's still in the process of coming to terms with the fact there is still discrimination on Vulcan, and that he can't solve it. 

I don't think it's a mistake that the memory that is playing over and over in his head when Michael reaches out to him in Lethe is the day she was rejected from the VSA Expedition. This came right after one of the "logic extremists" tried to kill him after saying "Your fascination with Humans can no longer be tolerated. Your obsession has blinded you to the truth--Humans are inferior. My sacrifice will be a rallying cry to those who value logic above all."

He is tormented by that memory of Michael's rejection because it was the first indication that he was wrong about his people and about the idea that logic can solve hatred.

SO YEAH, I think that pretty much sums up how I think Sarek views the way Vulcans are toward Humans. You can always rely on me to keep things short and to the point, of course.

[callboxkat]

(Un)Broken - part 3

Author’s note: I’m back! It’ll be at least a week before you guys get another part, but have this one for now. :)

Warnings: self deprecation, headache mention, doctor mention, injury mention, food mention

Word count: 1579

Masterpost in the notes!

...

Patton walked into his apartment and quietly shut the door behind him. He slid the lock into place, then leaned back against the door with a soft sigh. He didn’t know why he was upset. He should be happy, shouldn’t he? He’d spent the evening bowling with his friends, after all.

He just kept remembering that moment, when he’d cheered about Logan knocking down those two pins—because Logan had been having a really hard time, and it was the first time they’d hung out together having fun like they had before his injury, and Patton had just been so excited to see him finally hit some pins! Logan, though, had clearly not been nearly as excited. Patton had seen how he rolled his eyes. Probably thinking that Patton was making fun of him. But Patton would never do that—Logan was one of his favorite people in the world!

Patton traipsed over to his sofa and threw himself onto it heavily, facedown on the cushions.

He knew that it was dumb. It was just one little thing, one little eye roll. It just hurt him to think that Logan might have thought poorly of him, even for a second.

He was distracted from his wallowing when his phone chimed its text tone at him. Patton reluctantly rolled partway over, just enough to grab his phone from his pocket and bring it up to his face.

Oh! It was Logan! Patton quickly swiped to open the message. It was a group text, sent out to all of them.

Logan: I greatly enjoyed our excursion to the bowling alley this afternoon. I hope that everyone else had as pleasant of a time as I did.

A second message popped up a minute later.

Logan: My apologies if I somehow lessened anyone’s enjoyment of the evening. I understand that especially while I am still in recovery, I am not the most ‘fun’ person to be around. Thank you for inviting me along.

Patton started furiously typing, but a series of other messages were already flooding in from Joan, Virgil, and Roman, all telling Logan that they’d had fun too, and yelling at him for implying that he’d somehow made the evening any less fun. Patton sent off his own message anyway, and as soon as he did, the notification that Talyn was typing their own response came up. Good. Logan didn’t get to talk bad about himself! Not on their watch!

Several long minutes went by, and then Logan responded.

Logan: Perhaps I misread the situation. Thank you for your assurances. It will not be necessary to ‘march over to my house’, ‘physically fite’ me, or hug me so tight that you ‘wring out the nerdiness’

Logan: Additionally, Virgil, I feel the need to remind you that Patton may decide to physically fight you if you continue to insist that gloominess is your area of expertise.

Patton paused, then scrolled up. He must have missed that message in the barrage of notifications. He found it—Virgil didn’t get to be self-deprecating either!—then scrolled back down to reply.

Patton: I will! I’ll fite both of you if I have to!!!

Virgil: Ok Pat chill, no fighting necessary

Patton: Good!

Roman: We should go bowling again. You all only got a glimpse of my skills.

Roman: (Virgils dont interact)

Virgil’s and Logan’s replies came through simultaneously.

Logan: I do think I would enjoy another such outing.

Virgil: You can’t stop me

The chat devolved into banter after that, mostly between Virgil and Roman. Patton just read the messages as they came through, not replying, until the others had to leave.

…

Monday rolled around all too quickly for Patton’s taste. He didn’t particularly want to get up early today, to go to class—one of them was math, after all—but he supposed there were bright sides. He did also have an art class today, and he would get to see his friends at lunch! He just preferred Tuesdays and Thursdays to the other three days of the school week because he had his actual classes with his friends.

Patton struggled through his morning class, which felt like it was moving at a glacial pace. He felt like he’d been there for so long. But finally, the bell rang; and with immense relief, he traipsed down to the cafeteria to meet his friends.

“I don’t blame you,” Roman said when Patton had finished sharing today’s math class woes. They and Virgil were sitting together, eating lunch in the cafeteria. “When are you ever going to need to know how to calculate a third derivative?”

“Exactly,” Patton sighed, putting his head down on the cafeteria table. “But it’s required, for my major….”

“You—you could always ask Logan for help,” Virgil suggested after a moment. “He’s pretty good at math.”

“Uh, yeah, I sure hope he is,” Roman said, his tone of voice mimicking that of a certain well-known six-second-video. “He’s a math major.”

Patton shook his head, but he did so without lifting it off the table, so it was more like he just rolled it morosely from side to side. “I don’t wanna bother him. He’s still got his concussion thingy to deal with.”

“C’mon, Pat, it couldn’t hurt to ask,” Roman said. “Besides, he could do derivatives in his sleep. Concussion or not.”

Patton just let out a soft, extended whine. If he hadn’t still had his head down on the wooden table, he would have seen Virgil and Roman glance at each other.

He felt a gentle poke on the top of his head. “What’s up?” Virgil asked.

“He’s gonna think I’m dumb,” Patton mumbled.

“Why would he think that?” Roman sounded genuinely confused. Patton could hear Virgil’s chair creaking as he shifted.

“Because he already does,” he heard himself whine. He knew he should just stop talking, but… whoops.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Virgil argued.

At the same time, Roman said, “That’s preposterous!” He normally had a habit of pronouncing it like ‘perpostrous’, which annoyed Logan to no end. He was pretty sure Roman did it on purpose at this point, evidenced by the fact that he said it correctly this time, when Logan wasn’t there.

“Logan knows you’re not dumb,” Virgil continued. “And it’s not like he hasn’t helped you before. What’s up?”

Patton sighed, gathered his willpower, and lifted his head from the table, sitting up. “I… I guess you’re right,” he sighed. He forced his features into a meek smile. “Sorry, kiddos. I’m just tired.”

“That’s okay.” Roman said.

“I mean… I get it,” Virgil said quietly. “Logan’s got stuff to worry about already. But he’s getting better, isn’t he? He’s allowed to drive and use phones and everything again. And it’s—it’s like Ro said, the stuff you’re working on is easy for him. I’m not—I’m not saying it is easy,” he amended quickly, even though Patton hadn’t been offended. “Logan’s just….”

“A huge nerd?” Roman suggested.

“A huge nerd. In a good way. Not being like him doesn’t make someone dumb. And you—” he fixed Patton with such an intense stare that the sophomore actually shrank backwards a bit. “You. Are. Not. Dumb. Nobody thinks you are. Not me, not Roman, not Talyn or Joan… and Logan sure as heck doesn’t think you’re dumb either.”

“But….”

Virgil was clearly running out of steam (that still happened sometimes when he talked a lot, though he was getting better) so Roman jumped in.

“If we’re not allowed to talk bad about ourselves, neither are you.”

Patton looked at them both for a second. Virgil was chewing the corner of his bottom lip and Roman had half a piece of Crofter’s-covered toast forgotten in one hand, but both were looking at him intently.

“O-o-okay. You’re right. I just got a bit silly, I suppose. I don’t like not understanding things.”

“We know,” Roman said. “You could always get someone else to tutor you, but I’m sure Logan’ll help if you ask…. Where is he, anyway?” He frowned slightly, leaning away from the table to look around.

Patton searched the room for a moment too, then glanced at the Mickey Mouse watch on his wrist. Logan should definitely have been here by now, if he were coming.

Virgil briefly chewed his lip a bit more intensely than before, then stopped and opened his mouth. “He—could he be sick?”

Roman sighed. “Probably… I hope he’s okay. Logan never misses class.”

That was true. The first time any of them remembered Logan missing class had been when he’d gone to the hospital after his accident. Logan valued class attendance too highly, and he was religious about hygiene, so he rarely so much as caught a mild cold. Recently, though, things were different.

“Could be another doctor’s appointment,” Patton mused noncommittally.

“I thought he had one on Friday, though,” Virgil pointed out with a frown.

Roman shrugged. “He’s probably fine.” He set down the toast that he seemed to finally remember was in his hand. “I for one am just glad he’s taking care of himself.”

Virgil nodded in agreement. Patton took a sip from his drink and didn’t respond.

“Hey…uh, you’ve got an art class today, right?” Virgil asked, changing the subject.

Patton nodded, brightening. “I sure do!”

“What are you working on?”

Patton turned to grab a little sketchbook from his backpack and opened it up, showing Virgil a few sketches as he talked about his current project. He knew Virgil was trying to distract him. He let him do it.

...

Tag list: @patton-loves-coloring @starryfirefliesbloggo @purplesoul-at-hogwarts  @gaylotusthatexists @quoth-the-sparrow @awesomelissawho @amuthefunperson @faithfreedom @heck-im-lost @gayfandomsaremything @bunny222 @syndianites @astraastro @momolinia @captainswan618 @hamilin-manuel-miranda @goldenkiddos @afilhadehades-blog @virgeofselfdestruction @theresneverenoughfandoms @iris-sanders-athena @super-magical-wizard @rainbow-sides @thefallendog @fanficptsd @zodiac-awesome @lookitsthatquietgirl @nerd-in-space @pearls-of-patton @ab-artist @angered-turtle @im-so-infinitesimal @raygelkitty @dr-gloom @whats-going-on-kiddos @the-dumbster @oh-star-how-the-mighty-fall @fillyourteacup @kittiebrick @youtuberswithalex

[uptownefunk]

what’s up came here from twitter to say thank you for live tweeting? Live blogging? Generally discussing on social media? your campaign. I was part of an OotA group that fell apart about midway through and I miss that campaign and the NPCs (Sarith was “my” NPC) and it’s just really heartwarming to read about y’all’s antics and such. So keep at it and good luck with those demon lords yeah? (Side question: do you stream/record your sessions?)

hey there! i'm malay, [griffin voice] your dungeon master, your best friend, and your... trashy fantasy show connoisseur.

first of all, holy shit someone actually found the tumblr oh my god i am so sorry there is no content because i have never once updated it in 7 billion years. we honestly do all of our yelling on twitter, but i really need to start getting things properly documented and uploaded here. so uhhh "Coming Soon" i guess?

hilariously, we started with OotA but i took this one off the rails REAL QUICK so now it has almost no resemblance whatsoever to the original written campaign except that derendil and sarith are still here. (also i too am deeply deeply attached to sarith, though i've turned my version of him into a complete feral scientist)

so (without giving too much away to my party who will definitely see this and analyze everything i say) the plot probably doesn't contain much in the way of demon lords anymore, at least not in the form OotA set out lol. you may have seen on twitter that we're gettin real deep into some inter-party relationships and backstory bombs right now, so who knows if they'll ever find a main plot again.

lastly, we don't stream but i DO record all of our sessions! they are stashed away in a massive folder on an external hard drive right now because a lot of them have my top secret dm notes right there on the screen and i have to edit them out before i can post anything anywhere. whoops. also a lot of the early sessions had recording issues, so i have nothing before session 9 or so, and even after that the recording is iffy for a while. but i hope to fill in the gaps eventually with written summaries and then actually get back to editing and posting some videos! i think we may have one or two up here on the blog already, but only a goof or two.

aaaaaaaaahhhh thank you so much for reading all our loud clown honking and i'm so glad you like it!! absolutely feel free to yell at us on twitter too (i can speak for myself at least on that one) and i hope you continue to enjoy our emotional flailing!!!

- malay

(p.s. kait/rilakkatie/ryder says she loves you and that she gets notifications from the campaign twitter so 99.9% of the time she's down to scream in real time)

(p.p.s. i also get the notifications so that's two of us you now know how to ping at all hours of the day and night. use this power wisely.)

[studiobeebo]

Summer Daze (Kirishima Eijirou x Fem! Reader)

OKAY i want to start off by saying im really, really sorry this took so long. my motivation has been horrible and i just really didn’t want to make something that was lackluster so i decided to wait until i was more motivated instead

BUT ANYWAYS, this is the scenario for the 1,000 followers giveaway first place winner @ri-leuters following the prompt:

okay so pronouns would be she/her and i'd love this done with our local ball of sunshine kirishima! so i guess they could go out together into a sunflower field or just a normal flower field for a date and just have an all around good time together! also this would be great with lots of kisses and cuddles bc i live for that shit. also last minute request (but you could totally let this slide if you want) but ive always found this endearing; so when they kiss could kirishima pull back for a sec and just freak out over how s/o has tasty lips (prolly bc of her lip balm) and then they just talk about it for a sec and then he starts kissing her more bc "i want to taste!" djkdjdwk forgive me

BUT YE!!! SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK SO LONG AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY RI!!

Summer had to be one of Kirishima’s favorite seasons, if not his absolute favorite. While most people could find reasons to hate that time of the year, be it the sometimes sweltering heat or influx of annoying gnats and mosquitos, he always found a way to look past all the negatives of summer. He lived for the nights where he could sit outside with friends and roast marshmallows or go to the beach to go swimming, and with all the different activities he loved to do during the summer, he was absolutely ecstatic that this year, he got to do all those things with you.

When he first realized he had hopelessly fallen for your passionate, bubbly charm and amazingly adorable looks, he knew it would take time to convince himself to finally confess. To him, you were just so perfect and he couldn’t bare to mess up his chances with a girl like you, so he bided his time and got to know you as much as he could, of course throwing in some awkward flirty comments or attempts to impress you along the way. It was in the spring that he decided to set a deadline for himself, saying that he absolutely wanted to ask you out before the end of the school year, and after spending a good week daydreaming about going on fun summer walks through the park or getting ice cream together, he finally gave in and confessed that he had a crush on you before asking if you would go out to the movies with him. You were absolutely over the moon, having had quite the crush on him as well, and from there your  blooming relationship was almost cinematic considering how well it was going.

On top of how amazing things were going between the two of you, Kirishima was lucky to have asked you out before his ‘deadline’ so when the weather began to get warm the two of you were already comfortable enough with one another for him to start checking off his list of fun summer dates and the first thing he had been wanting to do was to go hiking with you. The trail he had looked up was actually pretty short, only about a mile, but it let off into an incredible field of wildflowers that were supposedly in full bloom at this time of the year. He wanted to keep that part a secret so it would be a nice surprise for you, but he was just so excited that he couldn’t help but blab about it the whole week before the two of you had decided to go. Despite your slight fears that it would be too grossly hot on the weekend to even enjoy the date your boyfriend had so happily set up, his excitement about it was infectious so you couldn’t help but be excited as well. Plus, when the weekend finally came around it was fun to pack up a little picnic for the two of you and it was awfully cute how concerned he was, double and then triple checking that your shoes were comfortable and that you brought enough water.

Once the two of you arrived to the base of the hill that the path led up to on that saturday morning, you were extremely grateful that the weather was just perfect since you’d be walking uphill for most of the way. The first part of your little hike wasn’t too bad, but you slowly began to get a bit worn out the further you walked and you were a bit jealous at how Kirishima was still perfectly fine while you felt like you could take a nap right there in the middle of the path to give your tired muscles a break. Once he noticed you were falling a bit behind, however, Kirishima was nice enough to slow down and walk by your side until you reached the top of the hill and thankfully, the view was absolutely worth the trouble of getting there.

It looked as if the field of bright green grass and variety of colorful flowers swaying in the comforting breeze spanned out for miles and you must have stood there with a bright, open mouthed smile on your face for a good five minutes just looking out over the expanse of beautiful greenery. You continued to gush about how incredible it was as you pulled out your phone to take a few pictures, hoping to save this memory for years to come, but once you were done the two of you finally decided to walk further into the sunny field to find a nice spot to relax.

It took a few minutes to get everything set up, but it was perfectly picturesque once you had laid out the blanket for both of you to rest on before pulling out all the different snacks and drinks you had brought along with you. The two of you sat happily chatting about whatever came to mind while munching on a variety of fruit and other treats and you must have thanked him a million times for bringing you here to which he just smiled and told you it was no big deal.

“No but seriously! It’s absolutely perfect, I thought it might be too warm but the sun feels amazing since it’s so breezy up here!” You cheered, stretching your arms up above your head before falling backwards to lay your head down onto his lap.

“Yeah it is pretty nice, I’m surprised you’re not cold for once.” He teased, picking at a few of the flowers that were spread out around your makeshift ‘bed’.

“Hey I’m not always cold, I just like wearing your sweaters, that’s all.” You quipped, reaching up to pinch his cheek only for him to wince a bit before sending a pout your way as he continued to work on tugging flowers from the ground.

“What are you doing, anyways?” You asked upon noticing he was fiddling around with the flowers he had collected, sitting up from your lying position on his lap to get a better look.

“Nothing..” He mumbled out, though his concentration was very clearly on his task at hand rather than on you. After a moment he blinked, seeming to have realized that he sort of just brushed you off a bit before tearing his eyes from his little project only to give you a soft smile. “I mean it’s something, but you have to give me a second...and don’t look!”

Your brows furrowed in confusion but you just laughed and shook your head, putting your hands over your eyes to show that you’d keep your eyes on your own business. After a moment you decided to drop your hands to focus on your phone instead, trying not to laugh at the way Kirishima flinched and covered up what was in his hands upon seeing your hands drop before relaxing once he realized you weren’t really watching him.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, you scrolling through some of your notifications and taking a few more pictures to post to your social media and him working on whatever it was he was doing, but eventually the silence between the two of you was broken as he let out an excited “Alright!” before turning back over to you.

“I saw one of these on Mina’s blog, but she didn’t really post instructions so..” He trailed off, holding out what you were guessing was meant to be a flower crown of sorts.

It was more of an..oval shape and the flowers seemed to be forcefully tied together in a misshapen manner. However, while he may have thought it wasn’t as ‘instagram worthy’ as Mina’s flower crowns (Which, you were pretty sure she bought anyways), you thought it was absolutely perfect.

“I think you don’t even need instructions, this look like a pro made it!” You exclaimed, loving the way his face lit up like a puppy being praised for being a good dog. Unfortunately, however, when you went to grab it to wear it, as you figured was his intention for you to do once he gave it to you, the little masterpiece fell to pieces right before you had the chance to lay it atop your head. You scrambled to try to save at least some of it, but your efforts went to waste and you were left with a little pile of flowers sitting in your lap as you looked up slowly with a sheepish smile worn on your face, praying you hadn’t upset him.

“Whoops..Sorry Eiji, I guess my hands are a lot stronger than I thought.” You chuckled before continuing. “But It was so pretty! I feel bad wrecking it like that, I should have taken a picture..”

“Hey that’s alright!” He spoke, sounding a lot happier than you thought he would be considering you just accidentally broke such a cute gift from him before he stood up and grabbed a few of the flowers from the pile that used to be the flower crown he had made for you. After picking up as many as he could, he walked behind you before crouching down and beginning to place a few different flowers throughout your hair. “See? Well, I guess you can’t see, but your hair still looks pretty now! I mean it always looks pretty, but you know what I mean.” He chuckled, moving back to be in front of you and crouching down to the same position to add some more flowers to the front of your hair.

After a moment he appeared..mostly happy with his work, but he was looking at you like an artist looking at one of their paintings that looked pretty good but just needed one last thing to bring it all together. You smiled and chuckled a bit when his face lit up with that ‘Oh, I got it!’ look before he reached over past your shared blanket and grabbed one more flower before moving to push some of your hair behind your ear and then tucking the flower there as well.

“There, that’s good, right?” He asked, adjusting the flower bit, but letting his hand stay near your jaw as his thumb gently ran over your cheek.

“It’s perfect.” You hummed, not even needing to look as you words were more generally aimed at this whole day in general as you leaned in to press your lips against his own. Even though the sun’s rays were plenty warm enough, there was still nothing that could compare to the warmth that bloomed in your chest every time you felt his hand gently cup your jaw and the gentle yet passionate way his lips would mesh with your own.

After a moment, your lips parted from his own and you were a bit surprised to see a look of happy confusion on his face as you pulled away from him a bit.

“..What?”

“You..Kind of taste like one of these flowers smells.”

“...What??” You chuckled out yet again, shaking your head in equal confusion.

“And a lemon! Like a flowery lemon!”

His additional description clicked in your head as you were suddenly reminded of the new lip balm you had bought a few days prior as you laughed out an answer, hardly able to contain yourself considering the adorable look on his face as you stuttered through your words.

“I-It’s my new lip balm! It’s lemon-lavender! Like it?”

“Yeah!” He beamed, “Can I taste again? It’s really sweet..” He continued, but you could tell by the light blush that fanned over his cheeks that the term of ‘tasting’ you was something he didn’t really mean to say aloud, but you didn’t mind either way. You had plenty of kisses to spare for him all the time, and after the amazing day he went through the trouble of planning out, he definitely deserved it.

“Of course.” You giggled, leaning in to peck his lips once more in a more sweet, appreciative way as a sort of thank you. “You can taste as much as you want.”

[nviles]

Story time! Your five favorite blogs and how you met them! What is your favorite thing about them? Pass along the love ⚡️

oh no i cant possibly choose 5 favorite blogs??!! like im sorry guys, im giving you guys an extra long storytime because theres no way i can only mention 5 blogs. haha look at me, im such a rebel. not.

@siruisblack charlie has been my bestest friend on here for the longest. i met him in the groupchat for @hogwartsschoolnet which was also my very first network!!! im not gonna go into details but i somehow became his niece and he therefore called himself my uncle. then stuff happened and i think he posted this selfie from this party??!! and i messaged him saying youre cute for an uncle or somethin like that. and then we started talking and whoop di doo, we became friends. bless charlie for existing though. he gives the best hugs, makes really really good hot chocolate and he’s always funny even though its not intentional which is like 70% of the time. i live for his rants about his multiple ‘husbands’ and i fully support his love of dogs. i’ll buy you one one day when im not broke.

@jillys @rvvenclaws @hermioneganger im grouping you guys all together since youre legit my girl squad on here. jac, rae and ava. im so happy that im friends with 3 lovely people who are insanely hilarious and amazing!!! i knew rae first i think??!! and im betraying you by saying this but my memory of befriending you is vague. i think one of us messaged the other??!! anyways we talked and rae is fuckin great. im in love w how psycho she can be stimes and when we meet up one day, were gonna pretend were federal agents and burn stuff. i met jac after rae and at that time i had no idea she was friends with rae. but i messaged her and we started talking. we haven’t talked in a bit and im a bit sad that i never got to see her when she came to canada but when you come back, you better start talking bout how your trip was. jac is honestly amazing and i love our bets on when we’ll reach this milestone and she still owes me ehr sword just saying. i met ava last!!! i think i first noticed her when i kept seeing her in my notifications then she messaged me and now, shes one of my best friends on here!!! honestly i credit my whole theme to her because she helped a LOT with coding!!! shes also the funniest person ever and super duper supportive!!! what would i do without this gorgeous person in my life??!!

@tedoire kol aka kol-aid is fuckin great. we only just started talking recently but i already consider you one of my best friends on here!!! kol-aid messaged me first and we bonded over how we were both 14 well she turned 15 like a week later traitor and had super nice rants about dumb shit. we’re both so proud of the nickname kol-aid, its fuckin iconic according to kol. shes literally the funniest person ever and the life advice she gives me needs to be quoted. tank you for always sending me asks for ask games that i reblog. if i ever come to the uk, i’ll visit you bearing a whole pack of kool-aid.

@crvdvnce aye its leo. the super cool, nature lover that i always thought was well out of my friendship league!!! we literally just started talking a few days ago in a groupchat for @percyprotectionnet and then leo sent me pics of an edit and i complimented it and well, the rest is history. that is such a cheesy line i know im credited for making leo publish the super amazing headcanon post of credence barebone. bows. ok but leo is insanely amazing and cool like the cool aura just shines and canadian!!! we’re also proud co owners of a niffler and bowtruckle named nev and noot!!! did i mention leo is cool??!! man im making this post so long i need you to come to ontario one day leo and we’ll take a hike together with nev and noot. thanks for existing leo, your coolness makes my day a lil bit better.

ok this was getting really long so like i would have added more people but this is getting way too fuckin long and the rebel in me is tired.

[susielindau]

Welcome new blog followers! I hope you’ll sit back, relax, and read how a surprising discovery was ironic in six twisted ways.

Last week, while sipping coffee and checking my Twitter notifications, I noticed WordPress had tweeted my blog post, 18 Best Blog Tips: New Ways to Promote, Increase Traffic and More! It had been Discovered! The first thing out of my mouth, (second, after the coffee) was, “How ironic is that!” In more than one way. I’m cracking up as I write this.

https://twitter.com/WPDiscover/status/905823199664975873

I’ll get to the ironies, but first I want to thank WordPress editor, Ben Huberman for Discovering me! It has been such an honor. I may have gotten his attention through leaving this post in a Community Pool comment explaining one of the following ironies:

Irony #1.

One of my 18 Best Blog Tips is to try not to spend too much time on blog posts.

That post took hours and hours which turned into days.

Irony #2.

I wrote it for WordPress bloggers.

None of my followers saw it in the Reader. Which brings me to…

Irony #3.

18 Best Blog Tips also dove into mistakes I have made through six years of blogging. Here’s another one to add to the list.

I had upgraded my site to Business back in March, which allows me to use Google Analytics. That has been super interesting. I can check demographics and see which cities and countries are fans. Last week, London was my super fan city. Santa Monica (my beloved surfing spot), was the worst city in the world for viewing my blog. The US was the best country, but Israel was the worst. I have some work to do.

Anyway, because of the upgrade, my blog doesn’t show up in Reader Search anymore, which is a bummer. The fabulous Happiness Engineers are working on that issue.

Mistakes were made.

Recently, I noticed I could start using plugins. My daughter, Courtney works in web analytics. She suggested I install Yoast to point out what I need to do for SEO. I attended a WordPress Meetup and was told installing Yoast would be easy and I could uninstall it if I didn’t like it.

When I arrived home, I shook while I pressed the Install button. Instead of getting the notification that it had worked, it said I wasn’t up to date with the basic WordPress Jetpack program. I had to call a Happiness Engineer, who rescued me and installed it. Whew!

The next day, when my scheduled story, A Day in London with Charles Dickens posted, it was to the sound of crickets. Of course, it was another one of those posts that took tons of time. It didn’t end up in the Reader for my followers. Bummer!! I contacted the Happiness Engineers and found out it was because I wrote and scheduled it before I installed the plugin. Apparently, the structure of the site changes after installing a plugin on a Business site.

For days, no one followed my blog. I asked my daughter to check her phone and the floating Follow button had disappeared. I had been warned but several other bloggers who use Yoast continued to have the happy little green floating Follow. Not me. Dang!

That was the deal breaker. New followers are more important to me than views from SEO. Some day, I’ll have books to roll out to them. I started blogging to build community.

Once again, Happiness Engineers to the rescue! Several of these angelic and patient computer geniuses jumped in to help over the next few days. My Chuck Dickens post returned to the Reader without likes but with all of its comments in tact. Whew!

Irony #4.

I made the same mistake TWICE!

After working on 18 Best Blog Tips for several days, I scheduled it for the following week. It was written while I used Yoast. When it posted after uninstalling the plugin, it didn’t end up in the Reader, again. GAH!

Cue the sound of crickets.

Luckily, some of my followers click from their email. Fellow blogger, Words from Anneli helped me solve that.

I had written it for WordPress bloggers. Most would never see it. It was my six-year Blogoversary post!

Sharing it on social media made me feel better. When my friends reblogged it, their post appeared in search. That was a relief.

Then I remembered Ben Huberman’s Community Pool. He hosts this event through the Daily Post on Mondays. The next one is September 18th. Bloggers share posts, ask questions, or jump in and help others in the comments. I shared 18 Best Blog Tips and explained how it was written for them after six years of blogging but how it wasn’t seen in the Reader because of my Yoast fiasco.

Irony #5.

Which brings me to coffee splatters on my computer screen. After all the nervous perspiration and lots of tears, it got Discovered. WOW!

Irony #6.

The last time I was Freshly Pressed (the antiquated term for Discover), I was heading to the Pikes Peak Writers Conference for the weekend. The word got out that An Open Letter to My Boobs (an irreverent letter to my fake boobs after double boobectomies), had gone somewhat viral. Writers introduced me as The Boob Lady.

This time, I was on my way to the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers, Colorado Gold Conference. What were the chances? I became the Blog Lady. (Not as popular as boobs, by the way.)

So, good for me. Whoopie ding dong day.

How does this article help you?

Upgrading to a Business site with the ability to install plugins is perfect for a blogger who knows their way around the back end of websites or is willing to learn. You’re still a part of the WordPress community and have the interactive black bar at the top of your site. When I have books to sell, I may try plugins again. Like I said, the Happiness Engineers are super talented and are one click away. (It always amazes me how fast they are!) They hope to fix the Reader Search and make plugins easier and more compatible for Business sites and community bloggers like me.

I would highly recommend following the Daily Post. They have daily prompts and share helpful information for WordPress bloggers. Leave a link, once in a while, in the comments of Community Pool and be sure to help others. You might get noticed!

There’s an About option on the top right corner of the Discover page. This is where the editors describe what Discover is all about. Scroll down and you’ll see a form. You can fill it out to nominate other bloggers for Discover. I discovered that yesterday!

Thank you again, Ben, the Happiness Engineers, and my followers. It’s time to clean my computer screen and get back to writing books.

Have you ever won an award? Have you ever made any mistakes here on WordPress? Are you willing to experiment or are stories like mine terrifying? Ha!

Discovered with 6 Ironic Twists! #bloggingtips #WordPress Welcome new blog followers! I hope you'll sit back, relax, and read how a surprising discovery was ironic in six twisted ways.

[rennoftheraven-clan]

dude I have no idea how long ago you tagged me in this I’m so sorry my notifications don’t come through all that fantastically and I never checked, my bad! :s But hello thank you for tagging me! 

tagged by: @softellie

name: Amy

nickname(s): Aimz, I mean there’s not really a lot to do with three letters I don’t have a cool one lol

gender: female

star sign: Sagittarius

height: 4′11″ :s

hogwarts house: Hufflepuff! (with some slytherin traits I guess?)

ssbb character: ..idk what that means sorry

favorite band/ singer: I mean don’t judge me but I still love Taylor Swift, oops. um also Bleachers, Andrew McMahon, Marianas Trench, Hayley Kiyoko... idk who else depends I have a lot

favorite color: Yellow!

favorite animal: Dolphins and dogs man

time right now: just gone 1am

average hours of sleep: yeah like 3-4 max. not a lot

cat or dog person: Dogs, but only because cats sense my desperation for their affection and it turns them off and they be gone (I love them tho)

favorite fictional character: Ellie Williams 1trillion%

number of blankets i sleep with: one

dream trip: I really wanna go to Canada? Also Amsterdam and New York

dream job: animal rescue & rehabilitation place

when did you make this blog: like late 2012 sometime?

current number of followers: 242

when did your blog reach its peak: idk? I’m just kinda here

what made you decide to get tumblr: I think I was actually looking for something about Pokemon at the time and I found a tumblr blog so I made one too and somehow I’m still here

character i’d date: Tara Chambler from twd please

how many blogs do i follow: like 700 or something but a ton are inactive so I really need to sort through them all at some point

what do i post about: mostly games and tv shows, idk it’s kind of a mess of stuff

do i get asks regularly: not really like once in a blue moon

aesthetic: I love badass girly shit. Like gimme intricate lacy weapons and guns with flowers on and girls who are badass af and still feminine I love that shit it’s awesome... I actually dunno if that counts as aesthetic but I’m gonna say it does

last movie i watched: that horror movie The Boy with Lauren Cohan in

last book i read: The Miseducation of Cameron Post

where would you want to time travel to: either some time in the future to see how stuff works out or back real quick to warn 12 year old me about my rabbit getting sick so I could stop it cause I’m still kinda fucked up over that one, it was pretty bad

I have no idea who hasn’t done this already bc I’m apparently pretty late to the party with this whoops :s, so um @elliewilliams @arya-of-the-winter @quakebeats @rhyiiona @nicarusnichols if any of you guys haven’t already done this one then here ya go... annnd if not nm ignore this lol

[hellotechsgeeksfan]

Huawei Watch GT Smartwatch | REVIEW

Hey everyone what is going on today I'm showing you this beautiful Smart Watch this thing is sexy it's sophisticated looking and everything about it and the outside looks absolutely great but how is it on the inside how are her feelings how about that personality that's what I'll get into and see if this watch is worth it for you guys folks this is the Huawei watch GT the version I have here is the classic priced at $229 at the time this video as always I'll place my affiliate links down in that blog end below click on my links for the most updated prices in real-time you never know when these things might go on sale matter of fact I think the black sport model is at least cheaper right now so again check out those links as well as being transparent wow I did send us over for review but my assessment was not altered.

Image Source - Amazon

In any way, I'll be going over both pros and cons I'm Charles with Techs Geeks review room and I'm here to help you make that purchase decision welcome everyone to another video going over the physical features first I very much love the look and the feel of this watch you can beat a judge so comment down below but here are my three things that thing every consumer will appreciate now first up is durability and the quality of the materials the stainless steel casing has a DLC coating diamond like carbon coating making this very much scratch resistant now with some smart watches in the past the same amount of time testing herself I would have Nick's or scratches that would show up within let's say even a week this one doesn't full disclosure I've had this for about a month now but we'll see how long this will hold up but for a month it looks pretty darn promising now second the silicone strap itself is very comfortable very much flexible on my wrist I haven't had any issues of irritation or rashes and the level look on the outside seems pretty good too the color matches my shoes I do love the look of that leather the stitching the little details that pieces everything together and if for some reason you don't like it similar to most if not all other smart watches these days there is a tool at for you to swap out that van now the third physical aspect I love about the Huawei I'm finally at a fitness size that I'm absolutely happy with I love my Samsung Galaxy watch but I will admit though it is a little bit bulky the Huawei comes in at ten point five millimeters and it's just the right size not too cumbersome to feel it against my sleeves when I wear long sleeves or when I do shoulder presses at home or maybe doing push-ups and my wrist or my hand is bent backward like this it's not getting in the way it's not like you can see my muscles or anything like that but it's also not too thin to basically feel lackluster either the fitness on this SmartWatch is seriously what every SmartWatch should strive for when you're at this thickness this would be more appealing to mainstream or if anything the average consumer.

Now getting into other standard features this has a 5 ATM water-resistant rating safe for splashes rain-snow freshwater swimming and such we have the optical heart rate tracker on the back as well physically connected are used to charge to watch which I'm okay with I would prefer the convenes of a wireless charger but the pins do function fine and produce less heat which is the enemy of batteries now one of the biggest pros and cons on the history of this blog here or so I think the battery life is phenomenal that's the good part while weighs climbing up to two weeks of typical performance that does include heart rate tracking on 24/7 and while we claims that's with ninety minutes of exercise per week now with my testing I'm a virgin about a week worth of battery life give or take a day or two depending if I'm more active on certain weeks or not but compared to the competition that's still seriously good Samsung in the amazing Apple Watch for my test we're averaging four to five days of normal use take away a day or two maybe two if you're going all out with GPS and heart rate tracking and such but with the Huawei experiencing five to eight days that's impressive especially considering they watch GT's price points.

Now here's the con well the reasons how Huawei achieved such amazing battery life is the development in their use of their own operating system it's called light OS know many Huawei software is running leaner less bloatware maybe their system is that much better optimized but with a new OS to help with a battery life there comes limitations because the OS is just simply so so new now for the Huawei watch GT there are no third-party apps and keep in mind this watch is focused on health so we can't install oddly Strava Run Keeper and map my run all three apps that I personally use and the data from Huawei health cannot be exported to those tabs either at least at the time this blog to be fair the while we watch GT is priced lower than the flagship watches out there but there are clearly nonflagship smartwatches that offers more than it was GT even last year's Huawei Smart Watch had more but again it wasn't running light OS and it doesn't have the same banner life either now one feature though I loved on the older Huawei watch since I briefly touched base on it, the budget issues Zen watch - also from back in the that I reviewed - even the flagship competitors today I can't take phone calls on this I can't take phone calls right from my wrist I don't get NFC either to make credit card payments with my wrist unless I would love to leave my phone behind when I'm working out and have music stored on my watch connect my Bluetooth earphones or headphones to it and then go for a run leaving that phone behind that's not possible now there's sport-oriented watch so everything I've mentioned so far are those limitations a deal-breaker for you let us know in the comment section below like I've said before your comments do help others coming in and trying to decide if this is for them or not.

But moving out here take a look at the screen and then continuing with my experiences the screen is great though it's big 1.3 inch AMOLED display a resolution of 454 by 454 which is on the higher end Samsung only has 360 by 360 tick watch a great budget brand with comparable prices have a resolution of 400 by 400 it's also bright in sunlight it's easy to read and due to the high resolution I don't see any pixelation now with the experience on the right side the top button brings up all your included apps like I said a lot of health features and you can rewind this video if I went a little too fast for you now tapping on the button again brings you back to your home screen button on the bottom right here triggers your workout profiles and tracking parameters now taking a look here running since it is the most popular sport or activity that most people do there is GPS built-in also GLONASS and Galileo with all three every time I'm attempting to personally connect it is fast here and the tracking is accurate to know right now I'm in of course an office building medical steel and concrete and there's what two more floors above me so it might have a little bit of trouble in real-time but also you get real-time heart rate tracking once you start the activity you have this color band up here that indicates your heart rate zone which I absolutely love in turn I can't tell if I'm pushing myself too hard or not also there's pace distance and time are of course shown as well now pulling the screen up you have your step count, cadence, total calories burned another swipe shows how many feet climbed your current elevation and neck swipe shows your heart rate in real-time unless this is really cool here your trailing average pace are you going slower or faster than your average with a very cool animation in play. So for the moments that you're running and tracking what is displayed, I'll be honest with you I think it's great it's everything that I need and it's all the data that I want while running making this one excellent running companion app or running companion watch but like I said again I wish there's built-in music with Bluetooth for my earphones simply sticking with other apps would have been tremendously helped maybe in version 2.0 now let's get back to the main screen here and going through some of the smart features now from the home screen you can hold it down you can hold down that watch face and select from a variety of others that Huawei provides to you now keep in mind there are no third-party apps which means there are no other watch now faces available until why wait updates their operating system like I said at times video there is a huge limitation some of them look good some of them look ok it really honestly depends on your preference here now from the main screen swiping down shows your Do Not Disturb feature find your phone and settings pretty straightforward going back to that main home page here swiping up instead shows all of your notifications now I can't clear out just one notification unfortunately I have to scroll all the way down whoops sorry about that scroll all the way down here and then click clear all to get rid of them now while in notifications you also notice I can't respond to anyone of them there's no text to speech you can't scribble text out here and no old-fashioned typing on the screen to respond to those text messages messenger and email that's again available on other competitors. Last but not least going back to the home screen here and now swiping right you have your heart rate monitoring which has been accurate for a Smart Watch from my experience I just wish there was just more data such as my last 5 days maybe an option to see what's considered as fat burning versus cardiovascular it's good data if you want to see what your day is looking like but looking at some history on the watch itself I would think would make it but more interactive useful and practical swiping for the weather is also available but unlikely competitors with more mainstream operating systems I wish I could see what the next five days are maybe the hourly reports to see when it will rain in my area we simply don't get that now besides weather the last screen shows a ring of colors representing steps active minutes and the amount of time I've been sitting very similar to the apple health display on their SmartWatch other then that what's been offered in y ways like OS the speed and functionality has been good with minor legs and hiccups here when I first tested the watch after a week that lag or stutter has been gone for the most part I don't think I've noticed it anymore it was really subtle now I do wear this to sleep and it's been as accurate as my Fitbit that I also wear my right wrist here down to the minute at a time so it's reassuring that these two devices are confirming my sleep is pretty accurate or it's reading pretty accurate with each other now I do very much battery the segmentation of light sleep versus deep sleep versus REM sleep very similar to fit bit’s and the breakdown as you can see I'm a very light sleeper now you do have the ability to set up a vibrating alarm through the app itself the watch does vibrate when I receive notifications and also of course a vibrating alarm to wake me up in the morning I'll admit though it's on me very much lighter and keep in mind I am a light sleeper so it does wake me up that is but I think for most people it might not work also and to supplement that as well when I receive notifications probably a moderate amount of time I do miss the vibration altogether I just don't sense it or feel it on my wrist.

Conclusions So in the end here in the Huawei watch GT nailed some areas down gracefully the fitness in wash display the battery life the Bell quality and the look as well it's all on par and again the thinness on this thing is a huge seller for me but the lack of experience of what a SmartWatch should be the interconnect ability the function we've clearly seen available on older models that actually uses Google's operating system it's been amazing with those smartwatches and I feel like now we're missing out in my personal humble opinion this feels more like a fitness or a high-end activity tracker masking itself as a SmartWatch I love why away smartwatches from the past but man be light OS it's holding me back so much so that's it folks be sure to subscribe to my blogs since I'm testing attending gear to get to a million subs fired.

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As I have mentioned in previous posts about this part of the coastline it’s much further than the crow flies to get from beach to beach and so it was again with another 65 kilometre drive to get from Herbertville to Akitio which are actually less than 20kms apart. There is a lot of forestry in this area, with the logging trucks causing a huge amount of damage to the road surface between Wimbledon and the turn off at Weber. It was so bad that in one place someone had spray painted across the road TDC (Tararua district council) fix this bl…y road now !! I can understand their frustration especially if I was driving it on a regular basis.

Road conditions aside we arrived in Akitio safe and sound crossing the one lane bridge that leads into this little settlement. On each side of the river there is an original homestead with the river probably the boundary between what would have been another 2 huge sheep stations. It’s something that really makes this coastline different from other parts of New Zealand we have visited.

Of course wherever you have sheep you also need the sheds to shear them with this magnificent pair of sheds just past the main house as you drive into the village. There may now no longer be 70 million sheep in New Zealand but there are obviously still quite a lot in this part of the country.

Although there are plenty of places to park the motorhome along the side of the road freedom camping in this little village is prohibited with the only camping at the official campground further along the road.

The camping ground is located towards the far end of the village with the office also serving as a small general store and local takeaway. We don’t usually stay in places like this but since this is the only option in town we checked in. @$12 per person without power or $15 with we chose the non power option not because of the cost we just don’t need power.

As you can see from the signage above the place is also for sale. Sadly for the lady running the camp her partner passed away just before Christmas last year. Although she loves the place it’s just to hard on her own so she made the decision to sell.

The camp ground proper is a collection of permanent caravans and sheds that are paying a ground lease of $2500 per year each with every available space taken. These little areas are sold from time to time with prices in excess of $50K not unusual. The grassed area where we are parked is leased from the council and the land is not part of the sale although the lease can continue.

I think they have their pricing model wrong because the non powered sites, hence the cheapest are the closest to the beach, but we aren’t complaining. The area for motorhomes is also rather lumpy in places but we scored one of the few flat areas. A real bonus as we don’t have chocks for our motorhome, the twin rear axles make it rather difficult so we just haven’t bothered getting any.

Like all the beaches we have visited down the coast there is something different about this one that the previous ones we have visited. This is also the first beach we have encountered with warnings about the strong rips and advice against swimming here. I wasn’t sure if that was just at the end of the beach where the river flows out to sea or all along the beach.

But then looking at the beach in front of the motorcamp at low tide I am not sure you would want to go swimming given the rocks underfoot.

It was such a gorgeous day we decided to get the bikes out and explore the area riding first along the road back towards the the entrance to the village passing a number of points of interest such as the house that had burnt down which believe it or not was right next door to the local volunteer fire brigade. Sarah managed to find a couple of fig trees which had some ripe fruit. Delicious!

Once we had ridden along the beach we headed back and up the hill behind the camp which turned out to be a very steep climb, so thankful for E Bikes but the views at the top made it worthwhile. We had also ridden up the hill to see if it was sealed and if it was suitable for the motorhome. Meeting Brian coming the other way in his motorhome along the road who said that the road was gravel for 10 or so kms and not in the best condition meaning we would probably leave the camp the same way we arrived.

As I have mentioned in previous posts we have been following Annelise, Gary, Hans and Mia together with other members of a safari from the NZMCA Taupo along this coast meeting up at various different places. That night the group asked us to join them at happy hour with all of us getting a feed from the takeaway/camp office. The meals were a ridiculous size with our order of 3 pieces of fish turning out to be 5 pieces when unwrapped. They also produced some of the largest hamburgers I have even seen with a knife and fork the best way to consume one.

Meeting other members of the NZMCA on the road can be a bit of a lottery some like this group could not make you feel anymore welcome whilst others seem to treat you like they have stepped on something rather unpleasant. It was a fun evening and we really enjoyed your company, thanks for making us part of the group for the night!

The following morning with Annelise and her group heading away early the camp felt quite lonely. We debated spending another night but decided in the end to continue the journey. We had only gone 6 or 7 kms when we started to hear whoop, whoop, whoop coming from under the motorhome, thinking that we probably had our first flat tyre I pulled over and had a look but all of the wheels were fine. I then ran my hand around the tyres incase something had stuck to the tyre, nothing there either.

So back in the van and underway again only to have the noise appear again. This time we pulled over on a large flat area away from the road for another inspection. After a closer look at the wheels and I noticed that one of the wheel studs/bolts was missing from the left front wheel. (In the Ducato the bolt also serves as the stud going from the outside in) Not only had we lost a bolt but all the others on this wheel were also loose enough to be undone with your fingers. We were miles from anywhere so the prospect of having the wheel fall off left us both very shaken and wondering how long we would have had to wait for help as well as the cost of a tow to get it repaired.

Thinking that the wheel stud had probably only just recently dropped out we walked back down the road searching without success then got the bikes out of the rear to search a bigger area, again without success. So after talking with a friend of mine who is a mechanic we jacked up the front wheel to firstly push it back into place, then retighten all the remaining bolts. We then took a bolt from the right centre rear wheel using that to replace the missing one. I then lowered the jack and tightened all the bolts again.

So the journey continued minus one wheel stud along a road that has no idea what a straight line looks like. I was so nervous that we stopped every so often so that I could get out with the wheel brace and ensure all the nuts remained tight. One of the places we stopped was Pongaroa a tiny village with a fantastic dump station and fresh water onsite absolutely perfect in the middle of nowhere.

It’s 130kms to Masterton along a very narrow back road called route 52. With all the trees starting to lose their leaves it’s a very pretty route that I would have enjoyed all the more had I not been so nervous. Expecting one of the wheels to go rolling past me or flying off into a ditch. Thankfully however we arrived at Bridgestone in Masterton without incident.

Of course Murphy’s law prevailed with nobody having or selling a spare stud in town. Even if we had driven to Wellington the Fiat dealer would need to order the part from Auckland. The good news for us was the assurance from Bridgestone that 4 studs in the rear was more than sufficient to get us home and we could deal with the issue then. This all came about because we had new front tyres fitted around 1500kms ago and the wheel had obviously not been properly tightened once fitted. Thankfully we escaped without any serious incident to us or the motorhome but it could have been so much worse.Imagine the wheel falling off at 100kph!

To view the places we have visited click here to see them on Google maps. You can click the links to read the blog about that area. [cardoza_facebook_like_box] To view the Ratings we have done for places we have stayed click here 

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Akitio and the lost stud! As I have mentioned in previous posts about this part of the coastline it's much further than the crow flies to get from beach to beach and so it was again with another 65 kilometre drive to get from Herbertville to Akitio which are actually less than 20kms apart.

[ber39james]

7 Essential Time Management Skills That Will Improve Your Life

Time is the great equalizer—everybody gets the same twenty-four hours each day. Making productive use of that time can mean the difference between getting things done and scrambling to keep up. These time management tips will help you streamline your day and work smarter.

1Do a time audit.

Do you get to the end of every workday and wonder where the time went? Maybe you wonder why you didn’t manage to accomplish as much as you’d hoped you would. You could be wasting more time than you realize. There may well be a discrepancy between how you think you spend your time and how you actually spend it. A time audit can be an eye-opener!

Here’s a simple method for conducting a time audit.

Get some sort of timer that you can set to go off every thirty minutes. (The alarm app on your phone could do the trick.)

Begin the timer and go about your day. Try not to think about the timer—just let it run quietly in the background.

When the timer goes off, write down what you’re doing at that very moment. Be honest! If you’re checking Facebook or sending your best friend a funny text, own up to it.

Set the timer for another thirty minutes and repeat the process until the end of your day.

Review how you’ve spent your time. How often were you caught doing something that wasn’t productive?

Try conducting an audit every day for a week to get a good overview of how you’re spending your time. (You can vary the time between check-ins so that you don’t begin to anticipate the alarm going off every thirty minutes.) If you find that you’ve been spending too much time checking your email, scrolling through your social media feed, or chatting with co-workers, you’ll know exactly where you have to make adjustments.

2Block out distractions

Now that you have a better idea of what’s distracting you, it’s time to block that thing out. If social media is your downfall, for instance, try a productivity app that blocks online distractions. FocusMe, Cold Turkey, and SelfControl are a few available options. If you’re working on a writing project, try going into fullscreen mode to prevent yourself from opening tabs or answering desktop notifications.

Speaking of notifications, turn them off. Unless it’s critical to your job, odds are good you don’t need to be alerted every time a new email comes in or someone interacts with you on social media.

3Schedule yourself

Worrying about how you’ll fit all your tasks into the average workday can put a serious strain on your productivity. When we’re stressed, we struggle to stay productive, which can lead us to work longer hours to meet deadlines. Who needs that?

To-do lists can become overwhelming if you’ve got a lot to accomplish. Instead, use your favorite calendar tool (or even a good old-fashioned datebook) to schedule yourself. You might set aside an hour for answering emails, two for researching and outlining that important report for next week’s meeting, one for a lunch date with a colleague, and so on. If you have a shared corporate calendar, all the better. You can remind your colleagues to interrupt you only when absolutely necessary if you have time blocked off for important tasks. (See tip five!)

You’ll be surprised what time blocking will do for your productivity. For example, if you’re in the habit of answering emails as they come in, you may well be interrupting your own workflow to do it. That means that after you’ve dropped everything to answer that email, you’ll have to take extra time to reorient yourself to the task you’d been working on before it came in. Scheduling yourself allows you to set your priorities in advance and avoid being distracted by less important matters.

4Avoid multitasking

You may think you’re good at multitasking, but odds are you’re wrong. When you divide your focus between tasks, you’re actually diverting attention from one task to another and using more brain bandwidth. You’ll perform better if you give your full attention to one task at a time.

Grouping similar tasks can also keep you in the right mindset. You might, for instance, group your writing tasks together and do them during one particular block of time. Administrative tasks can fall into another time block. Need to be active on social media? Cool. Block time for using a scheduler like Buffer to queue up your posts for the day so you won’t feel the constant need to check in.

Here’s a tip: Keep a small notebook handy when you’re working. When you suddenly remember another task you need to do (“Whoops! Did I schedule my electric bill payment?”), jot it down. That way, you won’t forget that important thing, but you won’t interrupt your jam, either.

5Insist that others respect your time.

You know that meeting you were asked to attend that had almost no relevance to you? The one where you had nothing to contribute? That’s an hour of your time you’ll never get back. Get out of those do-nothing meetings. Every meeting should have to justify its existence, and every meeting organizer should have to justify your required attendance, especially if not attending the meeting would ultimately make you more productive.

The same goes for chatty coworkers. You have a right to work time free from unnecessary interruptions, so ask for it. You could say something like “I have a lot of trouble concentrating sometimes, and interruptions take me out of the flow when I’m working. Could we save chit-chat for when we’re off the clock?”

6Keep your “call to action” in mind.

What do you want to get out of that phone call you’re about to make or that meeting you’re about to schedule? You need to know what you’re asking for, or at least what you hope to achieve, before you dive in. Otherwise, you’ll end up spending time in conversations and meetings that aren’t ultimately productive.

Take a few minutes after meetings and phone calls to reflect on whether you achieved the outcome you were hoping for. If you didn’t, plan your next steps so you can attain it. You’ll be more prepared when the opportunity to address the issue comes around again.

7Get enough down time and rest.

Taking a break when it’s crunch time may seem counterproductive, but one study found that lack of sleep is costing the U.S. workforce $411 billion annually. You’re not at your best when you’re sleep-deprived.

And don’t shy away from taking your vacation time. Skipping vacation is actually bad for your health. Not only that, but taking time to relax can make you more productive. When you’re well rested and refreshed, you’re far more likely to tackle your tasks with focus and enthusiasm.

Now, go out there and get things done!

The post 7 Essential Time Management Skills That Will Improve Your Life appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

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