#i need to replay the games when my exams are over I MISS THEM

[milanosbitch]

woe, attorneys be upon ye

[secretkryptoniteangel]

Pass the happy! 💛 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications😊

Thanks for the ask! 1. Gaming Recently been doing a long term Factorio playthrough with friends, with Space Exploration. We've spent 5 days and 16 hours in the current save and have a long way to go yet! As well as this Minecraft, Ultrakill, Noita and recently a replay of Brutal Legend, one of my favourite games! my other favourites not mentioned are Homeworld 2, Supreme Commander (via FAF), CrossCode, Reassembly. I've definitely missed a few but hey 2. Animals! I have four Dogs and three guinea pigs, each of which are funky little beasts. Feeding the guinea pigs in the morning as they try to sneak around and grab a piece of carrot or broccoli is always hilarious. :D 3. Programming / Development! I do it as my job and (occasionally depending on how the workday went) in my free time! A lot of the time it's not actually writing code but figuring out how to connect to peripherals, or integrate with other systems, or even just trying to figure out what the hell i was thinking 3 years ago. Currently understand C#, JS, Lua and am learning Rust! Shout out to my raspberry pis, for helping me learn more, and for running a program for 13 days straight and being a heater in winter 2021. 4. Homestuck, I first read it in 2016, which unbeknownst to me at the time was when it was ending. This was also when i was doing my final exams for school, so they took a hit, but eh. My friends are sick of hearing about it after i have never once shut up about it, but tbh they've also not read it yet so i think this is a fair attrition. 5. Silly goofy times, being a dumb bitch with my friends and laughing over nothing. I don't think this needs explaining. :D Tagging 10 people from my recent notifications to pass it on! I'll also send it via asks, in case they don't want my bullshit attached to them :D

@foxgirlinfohazard , @thatnoulguyorsomething , @kidwithadrawingmouse , @sliceofardath , @vilkat-pyrope , @hazelhawthorne , @heirofnepeta , @boycrow , @ech0-1409 , @the-goldsmith

As always, responses are completely optional! Hope you're all having a good time! :D

[thestoryden]

hello love,

i would like to Request where the reader is a quiet nerd, who secret is into dnd, one day Eddie Finds out when they are sketching out the Dnd oc of said person and gets them to jokn hell fire.

Unnoticed 

Eddie Munson x Nerd!Reader Warnings: Embarrassment Word Count: 781

Most places you flew under the radar completely unnoticed. You only hit an even five foot once you got into high school and never really got that passed. You blended in, not too short and not too tall. You had not realized how bad it was till the day you ran into him. You were hurrying to get to Spanish class when BAM! you face plant directly into Eddie’s chest. Your face burns bright red. He puts a hand on your shoulder and gently pushes you off him.

“Whoa their freshman,” He says, “gotta watch where you're going.” 

You can not take it anymore; you feel like you are going to melt out of embarrassment. You shove him hard and go into the classroom. He of course follows in after as you two have shared this class the whole entire semester. Miss O’Donnell begins handing back tests.

She smiles when she gets to you,“Perfect score as always. Maybe some of the other students could learn a thing or two from you.” 

“Thank you,” you respond quietly. 

The class drones on and the thought of what happened starts to eat away at you. You replay his voice over and over again in your head. You had gone unnoticed but this time it was for four years. He genuinely thought that you were a freshman. You had been in multiple classes with him and yet he couldn’t remember your face. The bell suddenly rang bringing you out of your stupor. 

“Wait, I need you two stay after.” Miss O’Donnell calls out. 

She points at Eddie and you.You try to hide your disgust, because you know exactly what is going to happen. 

Miss O’Donnell looks up from her desk, “Here is the deal. I don't want to see Mr.Munson’s face again in the school next year, and you are going to make that happen. I just need you to tutor-”

“Not happening.” Eddie and you say in unison. 

You both look at each other and then back at Miss O’Donnell.

“He can’t afford my rate Miss O’Donnell and I doubt he’d listen.” you retort.

“I’ll make sure you get to take the Spanish two credit exam.” She says.

You give Eddie a once over and think about what happened earlier. 

“Universities won’t blink an eye at that. Let me take the Spanish two and three credit exams, and we will have a deal.” you say. 

She relents and gives a hopeless, “Yes.” 

“Wait don’t I get a say in this?” Eddie says 

“No, you either take lessons and get your less than deserving D, or you fail and repeat senior year again.” Miss O’Donnell says. 

He sticks his hand out, “Happy to do business with you Freshman.” 

You slap his hand away, “We meet in the Library after school.” 

Later during your free period you were pouring over your copy over The Master Rules developing your character further, when you decided to draw it. You started out with a basic body type and started adding details from one of your earlier sketches. 

Eddie plants his hand down firmly on the table, “What are you doing young adventurer!”

You look up at him and flush a deep red and quickly stuff your pages into your book, putting it into your backpack.

“Oh come on, I already saw it. I know you play Dungeons and Dragons.” he made a small flourish with his hands.

You breathed out a steady stream of air and pulled out your Spanish textbook. 

“You are early.” you reply curtly.

He snorted, “Yeah, I have Hellfire club tonight, I can't miss it and neither can you”  

You begin flipping through the textbook and pull out a set of flashcards.

“Come on, we need a sub for tonight's game. My little Freshman minions couldn’t find a replacement for their friend, and you’ll do perfect.” he implores.

 Someone is finally noticing you and all you want to do is run and hide. Tuck yourself back into the corner of the library and fit yourself right between the pages of The Hobbit.

“Fine, I will join for this session.” you say pointedly, “The only way I’ll come back is if the game is actually good. And you come to tutoring and actually make progress.” 

He sticks his hand out, “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

You take his hand and shake it this time. It feels kinda liberating to be noticed .

-EXTRA-

You trail behind him on the way to Hellfire Club.  

“About that Freshman thing.” you mumble. 

“Oh that,” He says, “yeah I know your senior. I was just messing with you.” 

Your jaw drops open. He smiles at you. 

How long had he noticed you?

[thefanficmonster]

Casual

Ranboo x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None, unless talking about the future counts

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following the arrival of the dreadful invitation to his cousin’s wedding Ranboo turns to the only cover-up he can think of to keep his still-single status hidden from his family.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so glad you sent your idea to me and I’m so glad you were my first official Ranboo request. I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to write it but I still hope you’ll come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Heyyy, so Y/N, I have a favor to ask you...um yeah, call me back, it’s awkward sending it via voicemail. Bye“

Huh - that’s the first thought that goes through my head when I listen to the voicemail left after a missed call from my best friend Ranboo. The favors he usually asks for consist of requesting assistance for his videos in which I also appear with a mask and sunglasses to keep the brand running. I genuinely have nothing against my face being shown but when I think about it, I’m honestly a bit glad people can’t identify me.

Anyways, back to the favors, Ranboo is no stranger to asking me for them but they’ve never been considered too awkward for a voicemail which is why I’m no slightly concerned. I’ve been swamped with work for school and studies for the graduation finals for the past two weeks and it seems like I’ll never get on top of it and I know Ranboo’s been in a similar situation too, so maybe he needs help with that? He’s not used to asking help for school stuff, he sometimes even has a hard time accepting it when I openly offer it to him.

I eventually sigh, decide that playing this guessing game will not get me anywhere and settle on giving him a call as I make my way home from the gym with my legs barely putting up with the task of carrying me around.

He picks up on the second ring.

“Hey! Wh-...“

“Would you pretend to be my girlfriend for my cousin’s wedding next weekend?!“

My legs take that opportunity to stop moving in the middle of the sidewalk which is luckily void of any people at the moment. It’s not my fault my body’s first reaction was to freeze up at the question that came flying at me like an out-of-control jet, almost as though he’s been dying to say it and get it over with.

“Um...run that by me again please, I think I misunderstood.“ I say, blinking blankly as though awoken from a fever dream. No, actually as though I’m IN a fever dream right now.

“Ok, now that the cat’s out of the bag, wanna grab some coffee and talk about it face-to-face. I need to see your facial expressions to gauge what response to expect.“ He says, the previous nervousness gone and his voice calm as regularly once again.

I’m this close to face-palming but I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and bring myself to utter a reply, “Our usual spot. Be there in ten minutes.”

                                                             *  *  *

“No freaking way.“ I shake my head, folding my arms over my chest as I lean back in my seat in the booth we picked when we arrived. Good thing I got an iced coffee cause even a hot one would’ve gone cold by now considering I haven’t yet taken the time to have even a sip of it. I’ve been too busy listening to the long and short of the explanation and begging speech Ranboo probably made last night to try and convince me to agree to this nonsense. “Dude, we’ve been friends since middle school-...“

“Exactly! Who else was I gonna ask?“ He cuts me off, pleading gaze meeting my unimpressed one.

I huff before continuing my previous statement, “We’ve been friends since middle school so you know my opinion on weddings.” I put extra emphasis on the word ‘opinion’, giving him the clear hint at the distaste I’ve expressed on the topic multiple times before.

“And you know we’re on the same page there but there’s no way I can avoid going unless someone kidnaps me.“ He too now gets in the same stance as me, his coffee forgotten too.

I can’t help but snort out a little laugh, “I’d be more than happy to kidnap you considering the other option is far less appealing to me.“

He, of course, rolls his eyes at me as though he didn’t offer to do the same thing so I could avoid an exam but anyways. “So you’re gonna choose to fake a kidnapping that has the potential of landing you in jail over coming to eat some great food and maybe even have some fun at a wedding with your best friend? I’m hurt.“ He says, frowning to cover up the smile that’s fighting its way onto his face.

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes, “I’d be kidnapping you, dummy...” I cut myself off to let out a long sigh and calm down before I go off at him. His smirk isn’t helping me much with the task either. I’ve known Ranboo long enough to know he’ll eventually convince me and he’s known me long enough to know how to do that exactly. With that in mind, there’s really no point in getting so worked up and wasting my energy. And so, despite my own rationality, I cave. “Fine, but I’m not staying the whole wedding.“

His eyes immediately light up and almost makes me feel the compromise was worth it. Almost. I mean, when you’ve been best friends with someone for so long, seeing them happy is worth more to you than your own comfort sometimes.

And he knows it too. Which is exactly why he outstretches his hand for me to shake and says: “Just one dance and you’re free to go. Deal?”

I take his hand without hesitations. That’s a better offer than I could’ve ever imagined. “Damn straight it’s a deal.“

                                                            *  *  *

“How long until you kick the heels off?“ Ranboo asks, bringing me a non-alcoholic cocktail and sitting down next to me.

I take a sip and giggle, “You kidding? I already kicked them off and replaced them with flats. I need mobility if we dance. They also lower the risk of me severing off a toe of yours if I step on you on accident.”

He laughs, clinking his glass against mine before he gets a bit more serious, “By the way, thanks for handling my family’s attack so well. I know it might’ve been a bit much but you handled it like a pro. Still, I’m sorry on their behalf.”

I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively, “Don’t mention it. I’d probably react the same way if my brother or cousin brought a date to an important family event like this.” I instinctively turn to look in the direction of where the majority of his family has gathered around, chatting with guests, smiling brightly. It’s hard not to immediately take a liking towards these people. They’ve been a second family to me ever since Ranboo and I started hanging out so I completely understand why they were so shocked to see me in the role of his ‘girlfriend’.

“I’ll tell my parents the truth later, our extended family is the ones I wanted to fool to be perfectly honest.“ He looks around as do I and we catch more than a few pairs of eyes fixated on us that turn away when they realize they’ve been spotted, “Mission accomplished by the looks of it.“

I chuckle. I’ve never felt so comfortable at a wedding before. I don’t feel stressed nor anxious despite knowing that there’s quite the number of eyes on me and there are whispers going around about my ‘relationship’ with Ranboo. It’s oddly calming and relaxing to be surrounded by some familiar and some unfamiliar faces. This cocktail is pretty great too.

Speaking of which, if it had any alcohol in it I’d blame it for the decision I’m about to make but this one’s entirely on me: I tap Ranboo with one hand while taking out my phone with the other. “If we’re already the talk of the wedding, let’s give them something to talk about.“ I say as I put up my phone, pretending to be taking a selfie leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

When I pull away I can clearly see that he’s still processing what just happened. I can’t help but burst out in a fit of laughter as I reach out to wipe the lipstick stain I left on his cheek. He looks like a lost, clueless puppy with the question: ‘what on Earth just happened???’ replaying in his head and it’s so freaking cute!

Wait....what was that? Since when do I use the adjective cute to describe Ranboo? Didn’t I think he looks handsome in a suit earlier too? The hell is with me today?

Then it hits me - the feeling isn’t foreign. Like, I know I’ve felt it before but I never analyzed it or even bothered to acknowledge it. But now that I do, I’m afraid of what it might be.

“There!“ I say, desperately trying to push the thoughts away along with this little firework show in my stomach, “Now you have pinker cheeks. Well, cheek, singular.“

As if snapping out of his state of confusion, he returns to Earth with a smirk, “Kiss the other to even it?”

Alright, his blush might not be even but mine now is and it’s ten times as intense and very much apparent but I don’t let the feeling shine through anything else as I proceed to actually kiss his other cheek too, wiping the lipstick stain.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” And just like that, as though it’s no big deal, he kisses my forehead.

See, that’s the thing, it shouldn’t be a big deal! It’s never been! This is far from the first time I’ve kissed him on the cheek or the first time he’s given me a forehead kiss. These are regular occurrences after years of this lovely friendship we have. Why do they feel so different now?

Then, much to my relief, the music starts and the lights turn off leaving only one spotlight for the groom and bride to have their first dance. They look absolutely astonishing and I can certainly say I’ve never before stopped to think that about any newly weds of the weddings I’ve preciously been to. I don’t know if it has something to do with the company I have for this particular wedding or it’s maybe the fact that my mindset’s changed over the years without me realizing.

Then I automatically look at Ranboo who just so happens to be looking at me too and all I can say is: my mindset hasn’t changed.

A loud applause takes over when the couple finish their dance, officially opening the dancefloor for any other pairs who’d like to occupy it and I’m happy to see how many people are eager to rush up with their partner.

 Ranboo gets up, putting the glass down and offers me his hand, “So, wanna dance? Don’t take this as a sign to leave though, we said one dance and you CAN leave, not SHOULD.” He says, giving me a warning look.

I roll my eyes and am about to give him some sass right back but he takes my hand and picks me up from my seat, leading me to the dancefloor.  And I gotta admit maybe it’s a good thing he did. If he left it to me I would’ve probably said no to the dance and ran the hell away. Why? - Cause I’m freaking terrified of this new mindset and point of view and these intense emotions I never used to pay any mind to before in regards to my best friend.

Friends don’t feel that way about friends. Friends don’t look at friends that way. What’s happening to me?

When I gotta look him in the eyes like this, not for the first time might I add, I can finally understand how the friends-to-lovers trope works: it’s all meaningless until it starts to mean so much to you. It’s all platonic until it reminds you of a romantic movie moment. It ‘best friends’ until it’s ‘I wish we were more than that’. It’s all casual, until it’s not.

And, unfortunately, it’s irreversible.

Damn do I wish I ran away now...

[kenmasangel]

Fight ; Ushijima Wakatoshi

characters : ushijima wakatoshi, f!reader

synopsis : you and ushijima had your first real lowkey hardcore fight as a couple

genre : angst, fluff

ps : i am trying my best lol, i am new at this if you any remarks my dm's are open. hope you enjoy <3

masterlist

both you and your boyfriend, ushijima play volleyball that is actually what pulled you closer and ushi couldn't be happier

you've always enjoyed playing volleyball; it wasn't your passion and you wouldn't dedicate your life for it like ushijima but you still did your best all the time and you were pretty good

you actually were captain of the team for a while but then just decided to be a normal player

you practiced really hard; you didn't want to disappoint your boyfriend who was a great volleyball player

it really stressed you out though, especially when people would compare you or make really uncalled for remarks (this was maybe even one of the reasons you quit as a captain)

anyway these last days you haven't been feeling really good, the exams were upcoming and you wanted to keep up your excellent grades so you could attend the college of your dream

and not to make things better you had a practice match with you-don't-know-what-team and you couldn't care less

even if you were attending practice you were still kind of lacking, you wouldn't give it your all as usual and your teammates noticed that, you tried conving your coach into keeping you on the bleachers but he just wouldn't give up on you and your amazing serves

so here you were, sleep deprived, stressed out about school work and volleyball and your boyfriend didn't seem to notice anything, he would ask you times to times if anything is wrong but you would brush him off since you knew he was already preoccupied with the nationals

ushijima wasn't dumb though, he knew something was off with you but since you kept telling him not to worry he thought he would give you time unil you feel completely comfortable talking about it

he would kiss your forehead and tell you that he is here anytime

i ship you guys so bad wtf 😔

and as if the universe was against you, the day before your practice match you had an important exam, “at this point i should drop out and become a stripper” you thought to yourself as you were cramming informations into your brain

after your exam you headed to the gym to practice, you and your team stayed until late night and needless to say you only had few hours of sleep because you also had to wake up early to practice your serves, you didn't even have time to see your boyfriend so he could encourage you

you were exhausted, your brain was about to explode and your coach would still not let stay on the bleachers. the only thing positive was that ushijima sent you a good luck text message the night before

the match started, you were trying so hard to stay focused and to fall asleep; your serves were not as sharp as usual, you would miss the ball many times and the coach finally decided to change you with someone else

what you were not aware of is that ushijima and tendou came to watch the match and support you, they were weirded out at the way you were playing, it clearly was not in your habits to play that way

your team won the match but you couldn't care less, you just wanted to go home and sleep for one week straight

there were still a few people in the gym, you were getting ready to leave; you didn't even notice that the trio was coming your way

“y/n!” you heard tendou call you, “oh, hi sorry i didn't notice you were here” you replied, closing your bag “what's up?” you ask

“what's up with you? are you okay?” tendou asks, “what ?” you didn't know they saw everything, you kept staring at them until it hit you “oh, so you guys watched the match”

“yes, and what was all that about?” asked ushijima. “we can't always play well, you know” you shrugged, they were staring at you kind of shocked

“what? y/n did you see your serves ? did you see how many times you missed easy balls? it was almost as if i was watching a beginner! the team almost lost because of you” ushijima replies

“okay and ? i told the coach not to put me on the field yet he did. not my fault” you answered, it stung hearing him say that but it was true and you knew it

“thank god #8 came in, she saved the game ” he adds, what started annoying you. the last thing you wanted was to fight with your boyfriend

“good for them,” you clapped back in a cold tone what sent shivers down tendou's spine. he didn't want to get in between you two and he didn't know how to react since it was his first time seeing you like that

“you are my girlfriend, you know better! you should know this isn't only about others but the whole team! i heard people say stuff i didn't want to hear when you were playing an-” he couldn't finish when you cut him off

“ i know what people say ushijima! i know i am not dumb. and what if i am your girlfriend ? does that make me obliged to be a good volleyball player like you ? volleyball isn't my dream as far as i know i also have other dreams and other goals ushijima, but do you even care ? do you even bother asking me what i am passionate about ? and if you're ashamed of me, the so-bad volleyball player why don't you just go out with other great players ?” you snapped, what made the gym go quiet and all eyes stare at you and your boyfriend.

you gave him a last glance , took your stuff and went home

him and tendou stood there, alone now that everyone have left, still trying to comprehend what just happened, “wow, i’ve never seen y/n-chan like that” tendou broke the silence between him and ushijima. he didn’t answer tho, his mind was still replaying the fight you two had

you never fought; you guys were both mature and dealt with every situation you had to go through rationally so this fight really made ushijima tense up, something that tendou noticed

“ushijima,” tendou started as they were walking back to their dorms. “did you notice that y/n wasn’t feeling good right ?”

“hm? what?” the green eyed boy looked at him confused

“y/n is definetly not feeling good, you could tell just by looking at her face,” he stopped a moment before he continued “you can’t be oblivious to your girlfriend feeling bad, can you ?”

“look, i am not one to tell you what to do ushijima, this is your relationship but take good care of y/n before you loose her. she is a wonderful person and i know people who are just waiting for the right moment to have a chance with her,” he finished, sighing

“i don’t know what to do, we’ve never had a fight like this before and i sure don’t want to loose her,” finally stated ushijima burying his face in his hands, “i know i am lucky to have her, but you know how i suck at this relationship stuff...”

“give her time to cool down, but not too much time too. anyway goodnight” tendou pats ushijima’s shoulder before getting into his dorm

the days after you tried to keep it lowkey; you didn’t go to practice, you’d spend most of your time alone in the library or at home

your friends tried to contact you but you went on ghost mode, ushijima and the vb team too but you didn’t have enough strenght to deal with anyone not even your own parents

yet one night after everyone had finsihed practice you decided to head to the gym, you had so much frustration that you wanted to get rid off and the only thing that could help you was to hit in a ball

so here you are, at 10:30 pm serving in your highschool’s gym with all the power you had

what you didn’t know is that someone was there, watching this whole time hitting them balls with all the power you had wondering if they should come and talk to you or not

saying he missed you be an understatement, he missed your touch, the sound of your voice, your silly fights with tendou over who ushijima loved the most, the way you would hold his hand with no warning, the way you came to his practices and his teammates would all want to catch your attention. he was craving you and he couldn’t do anything but blame himself on how he lacked as a boyfriend

“man up, wakatoshi,” he opened the door yet didn’t catch your attention as you were still serving your mind obviously somewhere else

“uhm, hello?” he clumsily tries to catch your attention, which he succeeded  in

you turn, kind of startled but lowkey relaxing at his sight. “hi,” looking at his face you realized how much you missed him but the fight you had was still replaying in your head. “i was leaving, i just need to clean the gym” you said shaking off your pianful thoughts

as you walked by him he held you wrist making you stop, “y/n, let’s talk it out... please” his face slowly turning around, your eyes meeting his

he was right, you couldn’t just ghost everyone for the rest of the year, you just nodded and looked away

still holding your hand he took you to sit on a bench, facing each other. both of you wondering what will come out of this conversation

“y/n, i miss you, i was a horrible boyfriend i should’ve noticed how bad you were doing and comfort you instead of being a total douchebag, it’s just that...” he stopped for a while, thinking of the right words to say. “i just want the best for you, and i should’ve known vb isn’t your dream but i know how much potential you have and i just want the best for you.”

you couldn’t help but soften and the bluntness of your boyfriend, you knew he was genuine

“i don’t want to loose you y/n, and i promise to do my best to be a better boyfriend. please accept my apology,” you couldn’t help but breakdown infront of him

that’s it, you reached your peak and here you were sobbing in your boyfriend’s arms who was rubbing your back, trying to comfort you

he sure was taken aback when he saw you crying like that, he had never seen you like that and he never dealt with this type of situation but somehow he knew you needed to let everything out

he kissed the top of your head, whispering things like “everything is gonna be fine”

“i just got so stressed out, volleyball, academics, relationships... and i wanted to be the best but i couldn’t handle this much pressure and i should’ve told you how i felt but i bottled up thinking i could handle it,” you managed to say between your sobs. “ i love you too and i don’t want to loose you toshi,” he hugged you tighter after this sentence

“it’s alright love, i should’ve been here for you that’s the point of being together, it’s to lift a certain weight on each other,” he cupped your face in his big hands, wiping your tears, “no more secrets now, we’re here for each other,” you nod and he gently presses his lips against yours

“i love you, and i am here for you, please stop crying i hate to see my s/o this way especially when i suck at comforting you,” he made you chuckle

you’ve never  seen this side of ushijima, you knew he was trying his best right now, but you were glad you saw it today; it proved that he really loved you and you felt happy to have him by your side

“i love you too, toshi,” you hugged him tight and he kissed your forehead

both of you feeling relieved to know that your relationship was strong enough and you’d be able to count on each other and go through anything by each other’s side

[the-silentium]

Murphy day Pt. 4

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 -  Epilogue

Pairing: Bad Batch x Reader

Words: 3480 words.

Warnings: Medical stuff without much detail. 

A/N: YAY last chapter of this series! This was a lot of fun! Hope you guys stay tuned for more Bad Batch fics! Don’t forget to leave comments, always much appreciated!

Fors is an Original planet. I do not give permission to people to use it for their own fics, the planet, the animals, the Nightmares, the lore or anything related to Fors. Thank you.

At first, you felt numb. It felt like your mind was wandering around, completely separated from your body. Where you should be feeling your hands and feet, there was only nothingness, a way too cold nothingness. 

Then the soreness poked at the corner of your brain, slowly assaulting your nerves, crawling up your body until all you could feel was a mass of terribly aching limbs. A constant discomfort deep within your throat prompted you to cough it out to relieve yourself of the nagging feeling, the weak attempts miserably failing to alleviate the sensation of something invading your throat. 

As you tried to raise a hand to rub at your neck, you realized that something was keeping it down. Something warm. And tight. 

Like Tech's hand when he was pulling you away from the predator on your tail. Or when he was dangling in the air on the verge of death, the only thing keeping him from disappearing into the abyss being your fingers clutching his hand. 

Fear flooded your system, fighting the exhaustion paralyzing your limbs. Your hand closed around the warm soft object in your grip, your hold tightening despite the pain radiating from your fingers. You couldn't let go. He would die. Your friend would die.��

You didn't hear the yelp over the frenetic heartbeat booming in your ears, your closed eyes projecting you directly to that day when the dark sky offered the perfect camouflage to the draconic reptile. He was concealed in the dark, waiting for you to drop your guard. No. He was waiting for you to drop Tech so he could feast on his flesh. 

Your eyes flew open in terror as the hand in yours slipped slightly, your fist crushing it with all your might to keep it secure. 

The unexpected brightness brings tears to your eyes, the first droplets falling down your cheeks before a familiar figure invaded your personal space, his other hand flying to your shoulder in a comforting grip. 

His lips were moving, trying to tell you something that you couldn't hear over the hammering of your heart or your quick breathing or the hectic beeping sound on your left. 

Lifting your head a little, pain exploded behind your eyes, forcing your head back down immediately. Your eyes moved to your hand, still imprisoning another's in its vice grip. The sight made you relax slightly. You'd not dropped him. 

Before your attention could return to the person hovering above you, his hand on your shoulder retreated as someone else took his place from your other side, a total stranger that looked oddly familiar in some way. He moved quickly around you, talking to you while putting something terribly cold onto your chest multiple times before removing something taped to your face and removing the thing down your throat. 

You coughed as you felt the thing move out, more tears leaking down your face at the effort. 

"You're okay Y/N." You finally heard, your mind concentrating on what was around instead of yourself. "You're okay." He repeated in case you still didn't hear him, his other hand returning to your shoulder. 

His dark locks seemed even wilder than they were in the jungle, although they weren't slick with sweat and rain anymore. His armor was off, leaving him in a black skin fitted suit that allowed you to appreciate just perfectly fit he was beneath all that composite. His tattoo was still intriguing, but his eyes reminded you too much of someone else to let yourself wander about how soft the ink would feel beneath your fingertips. 

"T-" You coughed at the roughness of your throat, increasing the pulsing feeling into your skull. 

"Don't talk yet." Hunter chided, getting closer as the other man moved around, checking machines and bags disposed all around you. Where was water when you needed it?

"Tech's fine. All he got was a bruised hand." His gaze moved to your joined hands on the bed. "No wonder. You've got a hell of a grip." 

Your eyes widen in realization that you were still clutching him in a terribly tight grasp, pain erupting from your white fingers as soon as you relaxed the tension. 

He shook his hand once before massaging his digits to resume the blood flow. He turned to you, all traces of pain washed off his face, relief, and exhaustion taking its place. 

"You scared us all to death, you know that?" 

You frowned, unsure as to why. 

"Tech said that the fall should have been fatal." It clicked in your head, your fall replaying back in your head, the air hitting you full force, your stomach on the verge of your lips, the screams resonating in your ears. 

"Somehow, you survived the fall and we took you to the closest GAR medical outpost." 

You frowned, looking around to the room but were interrupted by a light flashing directly into your eyes. You blinked, surprised but tried to maintain them open for the apparent exam. 

"Follow the light." The doctor softly instructed, obliging as he moved the light from right to left. He nodded in approval. "Does it hurt somewhere?"

You nodded slowly, a finger pointing at your head the best you could with your stiff joints. 

"Your head?" You nodded in confirmation. 

"Your pilot will be monitored closely for a while. As of now, her vitals are good and I'll give her something for the pain." He addressed Hunter, the latter nodding in understanding. Your head tilted to the side, your eyebrows dipped in a frown. Pilot? "Keep her rested, no moving around like the other one." He finished on a disapproving tone and pointed look, pressed some buttons on a machine right beside you, and left the room when Hunter promised to keep you in bed. 

"We had to pass you as our pilot so you could be treated here, so play the game." He whispered when the doctor exited the room and turned to meet your confused face.

Your eyes widened, quickly shaking your head because you don't know shit about ships! What if someone asked you about stuff GAR related? Hissing, you abruptly stopped, your head spinning and hurting. 

"Stop that. You may have survived but you had a severe concussion, some internal injuries, broke an arm, a few ribs, and have lots and lots of bruises." His eyes roamed your face, analyzing the different colors painting your skin, although you couldn't care less because your eyes caught the cast enveloping your right arm. 

You were fucked. You'd never be able to go home and act like you didn't go out on Murphy day. You'll get punished, your life will become more miserable, people will avoid you even more than they already did. Maybe they'll quick you out of the village! 

Your face must have shown your panic or maybe it was the fact that the beeping sound accelerated along with your heartbeat, but Hunter got closer, his hand reaching for your shoulder once more. 

"What's wrong?" 

"T-" You coughed before clearing your throat. Your mouth felt like it was full of sand, but you had to get it out. "They'll know-" You winced. "-I was out." 

"Well. I'm sure they know by now." He looked sheepish, scratching the back of his head like that, almost uncomfortable to tell you some precious information. "You've been out for a bit less than a month." 

"A month?!" You choked, eyes widening in shock. This couldn't be possible. He must have hit his head too.

"You're awake!" The door to your room opened swiftly, letting inside the rest of the batch, all without armor. Tech hurried to your side first, taking your bruised hand in his and staring at you like he couldn't believe it. 

"I am." You answered in a daze, still distracted by the fact that you missed a month. 

"You should be dead." He whispered in awe. 

"Jeez, thanks for the vote of confidence." You coughed as Hunter called his brother, horrified. 

"No, I mean… I'm happy that you're alive! All I'm saying is that you had a 50% chance to die from a 48 feet high fall. But headfirst?! Your chances were close to none!"

You gulped. "Cool?" 

"He should be thanking you instead of telling you all that." Hunter pointed out, a hard look on his face directly focussed on his little brother. 

"Thanks," Said brother whispered, his free hand scratching his neck in shame. "for saving my life. Twice." 

"No thanks needed. You'd have done the same." You moved your hand so you could give him a comforting squeeze. 

"Sarge told you you'd survive the day Y/N!" Wrecker approached from Hunter's side, happiness lacing his voice. 

"And I told you guys would give me your bad lu-" Your smile disappeared as soon as you took in the bandages covering his naked chest. Some patches of exposed skin were tainted from a sick yellow to some dark green, worrying you to no end. 

"What happened to you?" You croaked, coughing when your voice raised in pitch. 

"There." You heard Crosshair’s low voice before a cup appeared in front of you. 

"I don't think she shoul-" 

"I want it!" You hurried out of breath, cutting Tech before anyone could think about following his instructions. 

Taking the cup from Crosshair's hand, Hunter approached it to your hand not attached to a cast. 

"Good to do it yourself?" 

"I'll try." You shrugged, fighting past the exhaustion in your bone to lift your hand to the white carton cup, only for it to burn up all your energy. "Shit."

The good point was that whatever the doctor gave you was working perfectly, the throbbing in your head was gone and the pulsing in your hand as well. 

"Here." The cup reached your lips and very slowly, Hunter tilted it to appease your thirst without drowning you in the process. You would have been mortified at the idea of being helped like this, but in this very precise situation, all you could think of was drink. 

Lie. This is not sweet! Bacterias! You almost spit it out by reflex but remembered at the last second that they surely wouldn't give you undrinkable water. It was difficult, but you forced yourself to swallow. 

Once satisfied, you lifted your head to signal to Hunter to back off. You hummed your thanks, smiling gratefully and totally ignoring the smirk Crosshair send his tattooed brother, focussing your attention on Wrecker instead. 

"What happened?" You repeated yourself. 

"The giant snake hit me with its tail." He shrugged like it was nothing. "I'm fine, don't worry. I've survived worse!" 

You stared him up and down, wondering how in the universe he could have survived that. Its tail was rock hard to allow it to move underground. There was no way- 

"What could be worse than a Basilisk wanting you for dinner?!" 

"That'll be a story for another time." A woman said from the door. "Now that you are awake we need to run some more exams." She smiled warmly at you, and you immediately knew that you liked her. "You can all come back later."

"Aw already?" You chuckled slightly at Wrecker's disappointment. 

"Unfortunately. But I promise to take good care of her for you all." She replied, entering the room to get to the machines at your side. 

"We'll be back." Hunter promised before bending to your ear, whispering cheekily, "You're a hell of a catch. Never think otherwise." Leaving you agape to follow the others out without a glance back. He didn't need to, the heart monitor told him all he needed to know. You were mortified. He had heard you by the river.

Crosshair saluted you in the doorway, Tech patted your hand, Wrecker waved and Hunter smirked before closing the door. 

"I've never seen them so worried about someone else other than the four of them. It's nice to see them opening to someone else." She smiled, noting information on her datapad. 

If only you knew… I know them for only 2 hours top.

________________________

You gulped down the last bit of your small breakfast, the tasteless bread leaving a soggy feeling in your mouth. 

You'd slept like a baby after Mylana finished to examine your cast, reflexes, and more. Your strength returned during the night, allowing you to lift your cast-free left arm to feed yourself. 

Patch, the clone doctor assigned to your case passed to assess your improvement and informed you that he'd remove the nasogastric tube so you could eat by yourself. Removing the thing was nasty, definitely something you didn't want to live again but it was worth it. Or so you thought. Because the food here was depressing compared to Fors’ vast variety of fresh fruits, meat, and vegetables. 

It was only when Patch presented himself that you realized how different the Bad Batch was from the rest of the clones. He was the very first 'normal' clone you encountered. It pushed you to think about how the batchers must have had it hard, to live in a world where everything must be identical and you're not. They had no chance to conceal it, to be themselves like all the others because they were physically different. They had no chance to try and save themselves. It was infuriating and unfair. 

"How's breakfast?" Tech asked from the door, moving uncomfortably from a foot to the other. 

"Not what I'm used to but it’s edible." You shrugged, waving him in. "Don't be a stranger, I'm your pilot after all."

Tech chuckled at that, closed the door to sit at the foot of the bed. For a while he sat there, watching his fingers, sometimes pressing them together but never facing you. 

"You don't have to apologize for anything Tech. I don't know what's bugging you, but it's fine. I'm alive." You told him honestly, surprising him. 

"I-What I said yesterday was inappropriate and I'm very sorry. It's just- I watched the recording times and times again and- Why did you let go of my hand?" He finally met your eyes offering you disbelief, confusion, sadness, and betrayal on a golden plate.

"I told you there was nothing to apologize for. I let go of your hand because I didn't want to drag you down with me." You lifted your hand when he opened his mouth to interrupt you, effectively shutting him up. "I'd do it again. Don't beat yourself over it, because it's not your fault Tech." You ended firmly, no trace of your previous amusement on your face. 

He analyzed your face for a second before averting his eyes. 

"How's your hand?" You asked, eager to fill the silence. 

"Still bruised." The corner of his lips lifted slightly as he showed you his colorful hand. "I couldn't close it at first, but it passed." He chuckled. "Oh, and I had to wash my armor at least 3 times to get rid of the phosphorescence." 

You laughed full-on before pain shot through your chest at the movement. 

"Don't make me laugh!" 

"Slept well then." Hunter entered followed by Crosshair and Wrecker with a black shirt on this time. 

"Best night of sleep I had in a while Sarge." You beamed. It was true, the life in the village was hard enough. Not because of your work, but because the incessant persecution was heavy to bear. 

"Good to hear. We came back after the exam but you were asleep." He positioned himself at the foot of the bed, letting Wrecker all the place to sit in the chair at your side. 

"Thanks for letting me sleep then!" 

"Even if we wanted to wake you, Patch would've had our asses before we even opened the door!" Wrecker laughed, stopping his poking of the fluid bag hanging near his shoulder to smile at you. 

"He just wants me to be discharged sooner than later." You batted his hand away as he resumed his movement. 

"Speaking of discharge, we'll take you back to Fors as soon as you're cleared." The playful smile fell of your face in a heartbeat. 

"Oh. Ok. Thanks." 

"What's the matter?" Crosshair approached at Hunter's question, clearly wanting to know the answer. 

"Nothing. Can't wait to go back." You faked a smile that didn’t reach your eyes, not fooling a single clone in the room.

"What is it?" The sniper inquired, surprising you that he'd care about your feelings and well, you. 

"It's just… I'm done. People know that I went out on Murphy day and they certainly think me dead right now." You explained.

"Well, they'll be happy to see that you're not." Tech tilted his head, not understanding where the problem was. 

"No one misses the village's freak. Ever. They won't throw a celebration because I'm alive, they'll kick me out for breaking the law, and because I'll attract them bad luck." 

Silence fell over the room and suddenly you felt an urge to pull on the needles in your arms and hand and run out the door to avoid the conversation and all the shame accompanying it. 

"You're not a freak." You scoffed at Wrecker, all the insults thrown at you during your life echoing in your head like a curse. 

"Wanting more than just living the life that was imposed on me at birth doesn't fit under the norms on Fors. A female having weapons is not acceptable, even less a female hunting. Working a physical job instead of stayin' at home is not exemplary. Plus, I'm still single! I told off the guy who asked for my hand after my dad died and went as far as menacing him with a knife. After that, I was pretty much a goner." You recalled painfully, hands clenching around the sheets, eyes closing in shame.

"I'm always being stared at like a freak show, pushed around by my supposed peers, thrown in the mud when possible, or let behind in a storm. Oh let's not forget that I went out on Murphy day. Now, that's the dumbest shit I've ever done but damn did it felt good to break their stupid law! I'm sure I'll be exiled at best or executed at worse." 

You finally took a deep breath in, canalizing your frustration to not take it out on the medical equipment helping you get better. The silence was heavier than before and you thought that maybe the drip Patch showed you for the episodes of pain could help you relieve some of the pressure crushing you. 

"Your planet is hell." Was all Crosshair had to say for you to smile again. 

"It is." You confirmed, eyes still closed. 

"We need a pilot." That got you to open your eyes, confused at Hunter. 

"So? I'm not a pilot. My planet doesn't even have datapads." 

"We'll train you." Tech and Wrecker were as surprised as you were, although your big friend was the most enthusiast out of the group. 

"Really Sarge?" He asked, hopeful. 

"Wo there, calm down. We've known each other for 2 hours!" You reasoned in disbelief. He couldn't possibly offer you a job, an escape route out of your misery, after walking alongside you for 2 hours more or less. "You don't know me!" 

"On the contrary, I've learned plenty in 2 hours." He countered, his serious eyes telling you that he passed his time analyzing your actions, your motives, who you were. 

It was really tempting, but you couldn't help to feel that this was rushed. It was, right?

"Freaks help each other." Crosshair added putting a stop to your doubt. They were the same as you. 

"I told you already Cross." You smirked at him. "You're not defects. Simply the improved versions of your species." You nudged his arm pressed at the foot of the bed that he was leaning on next to Hunter with your sheet covered toes. 

"You seen Patch?" He lifted an eyebrow at you, not believing that after seeing the real deal you still talked highly of them. 

"I did. Really handsome." You paused, to bit your bottom lip. "But that just means that you guys are even more handsome." He scoffed and you laughed, happy to get a smirk out of him. 

"So, wanna become a pilot?" Hunter reiterated, waiting. He seemed so patient, unbothered, but you could see it beneath the surface. He was anxious to know the answer. 

"On one condition." Held your chin high, ignoring how Wrecker's face split into a wide grin and how Tech straightened at your side. 

"Name it."

"I wanna touch that tattoo of yours." You smirked. 

Wrecker exploded in laughter, Tech blinked in incredulity until it dawned on him and his cheeks became pink from the blood rush and Crosshair simply rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the bed. 

"Deal." He smirked in turn, not once moving his eyes from your lips. 

Finally.

[babyloposts]

“It’s Not Safe”

OneShot

Warnings: angst, mild language, violence, references to non-con acts, unresolved ending

Pairing: Azumane Asahi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.2k+

Fandom: Haikyuu!

Head Canon: none

Summary: The only thing worse than arguing with a s/o is being ignored by one. After a big argument about the future of Y/N and Asahi’s relationship, Asahi chooses to ignore the problem instead of talking it out. As a result Y/N takes the situation into her own hands, but it comes at a cost. -in which Azumane Asahi has to make a tough decision to secure a future together-

A/N: This one made me soft. Kind of out of my comfort zone, but I hope you like it. If you like my writing send me a request or a prompt and check out my other work. Thanks guys ;)

Y/N couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t eat. She couldn’t think about anything that wasn’t Asahi.

The argument they had earlier played over and over inside Y/N’s brain. Why couldn’t Asahi just be reasonable. Of course she wanted to continue their relationship after high school, but it wouldn’t be that simple.

Y/N’s choice to study abroad was not an easy one to make, but she had to follow her dreams no matter what. She just wished that Asahi wasn’t so upset when he found out.

-

“What do you mean you’re leaving? W-we just took entrance exams last week. I thought you were going to a college in Japan.”

“That was the plan originally, but I got a scholarship to study in the US. I’d be crazy if I didn’t take this opportunity.” Y/N tried to explain to a clearly hurt Asahi. He sucked at hiding his emotions even when he tried to his hardest to mask his feelings. She reached for his hand, and took it hesitantly.

“You’d be crazy for staying here with me?” He mumbled. Y/N’s head dropped to look at the ground. She couldn’t face those sad eyes. It was enough to make her want to stay.

“We can make long distance work, can’t we?” It was less of a question and more of a desperate plead. She didn’t want to lose Asahi, but Y/N had to think about her future first. Asahi dropped his hand from her grip and put some distance between them.

“I guess you’ve already made up your mind then. Don’t let me stand in your way.” Asahi brushed by her almost fast enough that Y/N couldn’t attempt to stop him.

“Asahi please. Can we talk about this more.” Tears clouded the girl’s line of vision and she clung dearly to Asahi’s strong arm. She feared letting go meant the end and she wasn’t ready for that. There was still time to work through it.

Asahi sighed. He hated himself for not being strong enough to keep Y/N. He hated himself for giving up so easily, for being such a coward. But, there was nothing more he could say.

“You don’t have to say anything else.” Asahi maneuvered his arm out of her grasp and faced her one last time. “I know you’ll do great, Y/N. I’ll always believe in you.” He gave her a gentle head pat. It was a sign of affection they used often when in public. Usually it was loving and reassuring, but to Y/N it felt solemn.

There was nothing more to do other than to watch Asahi walk away from her. Tears brimming over her eyelids and staining her cheeks. Would this really be the last time she ever saw him?

Y/N replayed earlier’s events in her mind more times than she could possibly count and each time her ducts gave in and the tears started flowing. All she wanted was to talk to Asahi so they could still be on good terms. Even if he wanted to break up she still wanted to keep in touch with him. They were best friends after all and ending a two year relationship like this... Y/N couldn’t let that happen.

She tried calling, texting nothing worked. Asahi wouldn’t pick up his phone no matter how much Y/N blew him up. She felt defeated. He didn’t want to talk to her, she thought. Even though she was discouraged, she wasn’t going to take no for an answer this time. She would no longer be complacent. She was going to get what she wanted without a second thought about it. She was going to the Azumane residence.

-

The street was quiet and dark. It was a bit ominous as well. Dark corners and lone street lights cast unsettling shadows onto the houses along the road. Y/N reassured herself that she was being ridiculous and was perfectly fine to walk down the street she’d been on countless times before.

The route was clear in her head, but everything always looked different at night. It seemed the surrounding area was completely different. Did she get lost somewhere along the way? Did she take a left at the street sign, when she really meant to take a right? Y/N didn’t know everything felt so foreign to her now.

As she neared a somewhat familiar street corner a shiver shot through her spine, the hairs on the back of her neck stood at full attention. Her eyes darted all around her checking for anyone who might’ve been following her. The street was empty, but she could’ve sworn she heard someone.

“Hello?” Y/N called out into the dark street, only hearing the echo of her voice in response. She flipped her hood on and began to take off in a direction that was familiar. As she rounded the corner onto Asahi’s street a tight grip on her forearm pulled her into the darkness of an abandoned alleyway.

“Wha-!” She screamed but was quickly silenced by a hand slapping over her lips.

“Calm down girlie. We’re not gonna hurt ya.” A gruff voice rasped next to her ear. “We just need you to empty your pockets without disturbing the residents, okay?” Another man had Y/N’s hands held firmly above her head while the other kept her quiet and flashed a pocket knife in her face.

In a panic, Y/N began kicking wiggling and screaming with all of her might. She was able to get her hands free, but unfortunately wasn’t fast enough to get into the safety of someone’s house.

The muggers had recaptured Y/N just as fast as she escaped with her now pinned on the floor a knee perched on her sternum and the knife pressed against her cheek.

“Please, stop! I- I can’t breathe.” Y/N choked out.

“Do you think this is a game little girl? We could have done this the easy way, but now we’re gonna take what we want by force and have a little fun while we’re at it.” The partner agreed and took the knife to keep her in place as the man searched Y/N’s pockets.

“No! Stop!” She cried out as they began searching inside of her shirt and her leggings. Y/N prayed to any God that was listening to get her out of this situation. If only she had stayed home, she wouldn’t have come across these creeps.

“Shut up, before I cut up your pretty face.” The man holding the knife pressed it up against her cheek, breaking the skin.

“No please. I’m sorry, I have no money. Please don’t hurt me.” A hand muffled Y/N’s cries once again. She struggled as much as she could, but it was no use. All she could will herself to do was cry and wait for the suffering to be over.

As Y/N felt a calloused finger slip down her torso and closer to her legs, suddenly a great weight had fallen upon her.

“Fuck!” The man on top of her cried out. Y/N’s eyes widened and she saw the other man get knocked out beside her. She couldn’t help, but let out a scream. She stopped herself when the weight was lifted from her torso and she was raised from the ground. When her vision finally cleared she saw it. No she saw him. Asahi with a baseball bat, dragging her towards his house.

“Y/N, just keep running okay?” An exasperated voice blessed the girl’s ears. Her feet were moving on their own, she was in pure shock.

“A-Asahi?” Her voice broke out into a whimper. He looked back at Y/N only for a moment, but in that moment she could see all the anger and fear that was displayed on Asahi’s face.

“We’re almost there.” Asahi continued to drag her along until they were safely inside the walls of his home. Y/N fell to the ground as he pushed her inside and she struggled to catch her breath. What just happened?

Asahi checked the windows, closed the blinds, and locked the door before turning to her. He was panting, sweaty, and shirtless. His face was unreadable. The two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

“Asahi I...” she tried to find the words to say anything, but to break the tension, but her brain was empty. No words or sentence to be found.

Asahi shuddered. Without thinking twice he threw her over his shoulder and carried her up to his bedroom. Y/N was placed softly on the plush comforter of Asahi’s bed. She watched him as he let out the deepest of sighs before stepping out of the bedroom and down the hall.

He returned in about a minute with a damp wash cloth that he pressed to her cheek. His face was so close to hers. In just the few hours that they’d been apart, Y/N had already grown to miss his face. Without thinking she reached out and grazed her fingers lightly along his jaw. Asahi shuddered and pulled away quickly.

Y/N’s eyes grew wide and her lips parted slightly. “Asahi... I-I’m sorry-”

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” Asahi’s gaze fell to her shoes that were stained with mud.

“I wanted to see you.”

“In the middle of the night?” His voice rose slightly, but no malice was laced in his tone.

“I don’t like how we ended things Asahi. We need to talk.” For what felt like the millionth time today, Y/N’s eyes began to water.

Asahi sighed. This wasn’t the conversation he wanted to be having at least not right now. “Y/N... right now I’m just worried about you being safe.” He pressed the cold rag back to her face. “Are you... okay?” Obviously she wasn’t okay. She had just gone through something traumatic, but it was the only thing he could think to say.

All Y/N did was shake her head. With that Asahi wrapped his arms around her and it was his turn to let some tears spill. “Did they touch you?” He choked out.

“N-no.” Y/N whispered. “Not like, that.” Asahi held her close to him. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, but he had to talk eventually and if he didn’t do it now, he wouldn’t know when he’d get the courage to do so. He let go of Y/N’s torso and looked into her eyes.

Y/N could see a plethora of emotion in his hazel irises. He was sad, scared, angry, serious, loving all mixed in one. The intensity of his gaze terrified and comforted her at once.

“You can’t... you can’t do that. Why would you scare me like that Y/N?”

“I just wanted to talk to you. I was so sad about earlier and-”

“It’s not safe! It’s not safe for you to be walking around late at night in this neighborhood. You’re too frail and you’re lucky I was out on a run. What if I wasn’t there? They could have seriously hurt you, or killed you, or-”

“I know. I know, but you were ignoring me.” She whimpered. Being lectured by him was worse than she could have ever imagined, but even so at least she knew he cared. At least he was being honest and not shutting her out like before.

“I wasn’t trying to ignore you, but talking to you... seeing you and knowing that I can’t have you hurt me. And I can’t stand to hear you say you don’t want to be with me anymore.” Asahi averted his eyes from her gaze. His new found courage quickly dissipated after his confession. “Never mind. It’s dumb. I’m dumb.”

“No. Baby you’re not dumb. Of course I want to be with you. I love you and I just wanted you to talk to me. This is all I’ve wanted the whole time.” Y/N grabbed Asahi’s face in her hands. Their eyes were fixated on each other’s gaze, not breaking the contact for even a second. The couple had never felt closer than they are now.

Still Asahi had that twinge of fear in the bottom of his gut. “I’m not ready.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N’s head cocked to the side and her gaze softened.

“I’m not ready to talk about you leaving it still hurts too much. Can we just wait til the morning?” Asahi knew that wasn’t what she wanted, but he was going to allow himself to be selfish for once. He always put her needs above his own, but this time, she’d wait for him.

Asahi’s eyes were pleading and she could do nothing but nod her head. “Sure. We’ll talk in the morning.” Asahi’s forehead rested against hers as the two embraced. Asahi picked Y/N up by her waist and laid her down on the bed. He pulled the oversized sweatshirt he gave her over her head and pulled off her shoes and her tattered leggings leaving her in just a tank top and panties.

“Thanks.” She whispered. She crawled underneath the sheets taking a deep breath. It was the first time since before their argument that she had felt any sort of relaxation or comfort.

“I’m going to go shower really quick.”

“No stay with me.” Y/N grabbed his hand as quickly as she could pulling him back down to the bed.

“But, I’m sweaty.”

“I don’t care. I’ll change your sheets in the morning, just please don’t leave me Asahi.” He nodded and kicked off his sweatpants. He slipped in next to Y/N and wrapped his arms around her. The two were comfortable in their embrace and she relaxed in the warmth of his body.

“Tomorrow.” Y/N whispered soundly.

“Tomorrow.” Asahi agreed.

[futurewriter2000]

Heartless - pt. 19

A/N: IIII, finally something worth reading. I was so fed up with writing things and not liking them and now I really like this idea that came to my head last night. This is gonna be so fun!

XX

James was never the same. 

James Potter was gone. James Potter? He didn’t exist anymore. He couldn’t. Not when his other half didn’t exist with him. 

Sirius grieved, your whole family grieved but James? James couldn’t grieve. He couldn’t even breathe. 

He seemed as cool as a stone statue. No emotions, no expressions, no light in his shimmering hazel eyes. Not even the beautiful Lily Evans could approach him. If she tried, she was left alone. 

Sirius couldn’t talk to him anymore. Peter neither and Remus... sometimes it felt Remus could get the closest to him by speaking softly and normally to him. Remus would avoid the subject of you, not because he wanted to be ignorant that you had ever existed but because he knew James wanted to avoid the subject of you as well. Remus understood James in a way neither, nor Sirius or Peter could. Yes, Sirius was James’ best friend but sometimes when it came to the inner side, emotions and pain, they didn’t really know how to act around each other. 

James couldn’t trust Sirius with that. Not when Sirius was one of the things that brought him back to that night. The night where he lost his home, the night his mother wailed and screamed like no mother should, the night his father’s eyes changed colour, hair turned white over night... and you? You were not by his side. The joy? The colour yellow that you seemed to radiate disappeared in his life and now everything was just blue and red. 

Remus covered the mirrors in their dorm. Not because he was going barmy but because James was. He knew James would constantly punch a mirror a few days a week but quickly repaired it with a charm. 

James couldn’t look at himself. James looked at himself and he saw a person who let you die. He saw a person who had yelled at you, who had never been there for, who had he abandoned when you needed him the most. He would stay up at night and replay the words in his head. He had missed so much of your life. You dating Marcus, you having a drug addiction, you being depressed for a whole year, you... you going through things alone because he was selfish and possessive of his friends. 

‘ James, don’t leave me.’ - he would hear in his mind whenever he would look himself in the mirror. Repeating in his head, over and over and over again. He would shut his ears with his palms but nothing could help the voices in his head. 

He seemed to look older every day. Not looking in the mirror to shave the growing beard or see the dark circles growing bigger by the day. His appearance didn’t matter to him anymore. Not when his pain was more of a mess than his face. He couldn’t see his jet black hair growing lighter, sometimes even getting blonde, grey highlights. 

He had no motivation to play Quidditch but he did it anyway because being so far up in the sky made his problems so much smaller and for the first time, he could breathe a little more easier. Then the game would start and the blue in his world changed into red. He’d feel angry. He’d want to win. Win. Win. Win. Win.- constant word in his head. 

And he was winning. He constantly did anything in his power to win. Sometimes he got aggressive but everybody let him pass because James Potter lost a sister this year. Not only a sister but his twin sister. He’s acting out. He can be angry. - That was the excuse for him to ditch some classes, to neglect his Head Boy duties and to get more chances with exams, he did not attend.

James Potter turned rather cold. Whenever professor McGonagall would call him to her office, he would blame the dead sister card. He manipulated his pain for an advantage. If it hurts so much, then it might as well have some good qualities. 

Until he was up in the sky again and he would look around. Blue. The whole world was so blue and grey. He would look at the distance, the sun shining on his face as he would make his way down to the field, jumping off the broom and walking to the Great Hall to his friends. 

One thought was enough to take him away from reality. One painful thought to get caught up in the arms of a Slytherins. 

“Oi!” he turned around with his eyebrows furrowed at the green robe. The boy, jet black hair and slicked back to his neck, a greasy strand falling to his forehead as his eyes, narrowed and almond shaped looked back at him. A handsome lad with a beautifully arched cupids bow and plump bottom lip, grinned and let his radiant green eyes shimmer. “Watch where you’re going!” James started to get furious. 

“Calm down, mate.” he spoke low and calm, lifting his hands above his shoulders. “Not my fault you let your hair grow over your eyes. And I reckon you never heard for a shaving cream either.” he started to tease, meanwhile James felt this odd feeling of familiarity, over-flowing the feeling of anger and grief he was so used to feel for the past 2 months. 

“Do I know you?”

“I don’t believe so.” he started to back away, still grinning, still having this familiar look in his eyes. 

The boy turned away from James and James forgot about the boy and the feeling that consumed him for a hot moment. The boy that walked away, the boy that was so proud of his walk and talk, the mysterious new Slytherin bumping into the cold, grieving Gryffindor... well, that boy was simply... you.

[softkuna]

playlist

›  𝚋𝚘𝚔𝚞𝚝𝚘 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚔𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚘

› 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚢. 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎𝚜. 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚋𝚎𝚜. 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝.

›  𝟸𝟷𝟿𝟻𝚔

You had a shit day. You got pegged in the face with a volleyball so hard, you could practically taste the concussion as you sprawled backwards. Luckily, the medic ok’d you to keep playing. Unluckily, the whole ordeal happened right in front of a pro team’s scouting manager. The embarrassment alone made you want to hide under a rock until next season. To make it all sting just a little bit more, Bokuto and Kuroo had their own games to attend, so it wasn’t like you could curl up in Kuroo’s dorm like you might’ve before. Bokuto was only in town for a few days, too, and you were certain he’d be practicing or playing the whole weekend. So instead, you sigh as you walk onto the train by campus, shooting a text to the tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.

🗨️We lost :( I think I broke my nose. And my careeeeeeer

  Bokuto’s fingers rapid-fire replied, followed my Kuroo’s more casual pace.

  🗯️BROKEN NOSE?!! ARE YOU OK???

🗯️Wait how did u lose? Aren’t they good luck????

💬That’s a broken leg, bruh.

💬Sorry babe. You’re not concussed, though, right?

🗨️I’m fine ^^” just pulled a hina

🗯️Hows a broken leg good luck? U cant play on that THAT SHIT HURTS 😱 😱

🗨️👀 👀 👀

🗨️Bo pls

  As you sat on the train, you quietly snorted to yourself. Bokuto was an amazing player and an even better boyfriend, but sometimes you thought his muscles squeezed out a braincell or two.

💬Saw the clip on twitter. hows your face? I’m sure its still hot

  You scoffed with a roll of your eyes. Kuroo, flirtatious as always, but your reflexive smile matched the tone of your text.

🗨️If hot = busted, then sure 🙄

🗯️HEY UR HOT 😘 😘 SHUDDUP

  By the way their texts disjointedly pieced together before coming to a halt, you knew their matches started. You locked your screen with a sigh. Whether it was the ace’s ADHD-induced impulse thoughts or the blocker’s humorously blunt honesty, the two had always managed to spike your spirits high and block the anxieties that crept over the net. Without their distractions, the day replayed in 4K across the theater of your mind. Back slumped against the seat, you could feel the heaviness of it drag you down to the ocean floor.

  But now here you were, walking to your apartment with no reprieve from the disappointment. Rather than doing your adult responsibilities like clean, cook, or generally care past a shower, you slept. It was a deep, blank sleep. The type where you know you’d wake up feeling that eerie calm in the dead of night.

    Brightness blared next to your pillow – invading your vision as it violently vibrated against your hand. A loud ring attacked your half-concious hearing, jolting your heart like a jumpstarted engine. Quick reflexes enacted before you could stop the near Olympic vault of your phone into the wall across the bed.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me… who the hell….” You tear the blankets off, shivering at the cold as you pick the device back up. Thank your lord and savior, Asahi, for gifting you an Otter Box for Christmas.

  A gentle gasp left your lips as you saw a slew of missed texts from the dynamic duo. Oh no. Oh no. You felt horrendous. Your phone lit up as a photo of Kuroo with a French fry up his nose vibrated to life.

  As fast as your fingers could, you slid to answer, “He-“

  “-LLO WE ARE OUTSIDE ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT?!” Bokuto hollered into the mic, practically blowing out the speaker with sheer vocal force.

  “Holy shit, Bo! What? What do you mean?” Cautiously, the screen was brought closer to your cheek again, ghosting about a centimeter for your hearing’s safety.

  “Don’t you check your phone, hot-stuff? We’re going for a drive,” Kuroo honked the horn, echoing through the window and phone.

  Sure enough, the string of texts was about a drive and a half-planned plan of action. Thrilled enthusiasm rippled through you. You didn’t even think you’d get to see Bokuto this visit let alone with Kuroo! Praise the scheduling gods!

  The phone squished between your shoulder and ear as hands searched for an outfit that wasn’t your hoe shorts and sports bra. You threw on Bokuto’s old Ace’s Way shirt, and on top a near ancient Nekoma varsity jacket. Both items of which were left in your apartment from a get together nearly a year ago, “I’ll be out in a sec!”

  College was difficult. Especially when each of you had gone in somewhat different directions after high school. Kuroo, like yourself, played volleyball in university. And like yourself, nearly ripped his hair out when experiencing the hell that was Macroeconomics with Professor Mori. Bokuto was scouted play volleyball professionally, popping in and out of Tokyo to visit you two. At some point along the way and a slew of confusing budding emotions later, the three of you dove head first into a lovingly symbiotic relationship. It was hard when each of your schedules were chaotic, but worked out for the best as you all strove for your own goals while cheering each other on.

  You grabbed your bag of random things including underwear, extra clothes, and some money.  You never knew with the two of them what may happen and you learned from one wild trip to Osaka that Bokuto’s sense of direction was about as bad as you’d think it’d be.

  Half jogging, you rolled your eyes to the red corvette. Kuroo loved that thing way too much. Through the window, you could see Bokuto lean across the console to open the back driver-side door for you. The grin he wore could’ve fueled the sun itself, “BABE! LIGHT OF MY LIFE! EDGE-LINE STRAIGHT SHOT! WER’RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE,” His muscular arm stretched to you, calloused hands reaching for you to grab.

  He pulled you you between the seats for a  bear hug, wide chest nearly eating you whole. He was as toasty as always. Or maybe it was just your cheeks. Either way, you were happy to see him, “Missed you, Bo! Sorry for missing the texts.”

  “You were asleep weren’t ya?” Kuroo turned in the driver side, a hand finding its place at the crown of your hair. The lazy pique of his own lop-sided smile greeted your playful glare, which melted into a nod and a sigh. The look he gave softened at the navy-coated aura rolling off you in waves. He stroked your hair once, poking your cheek as his hand passed it, “You’re here. ‘s all that matters. Now, Hoots over here can shut up about your nose, which is… a little fucked up, wow.”

  “You don’t say?” Your expression dead-panned as Bokuto pulled back from you to examine the swollen cartilage. While you wanted them to see the game, you were absolutely glad that they didn’t. Bokuto would have barreled down the bleachers had he seen your wipe out in person. Actually, you recalled a snap from Atsumu; the camera pointed to the tile of a locker room, Bokuto’s howling in the background with a simple caption of ‘You good?’  

  Pulling away from the ace, you sat back into the middle seat, arms resting on the leather between the passenger and driver sides. Kuroo drove with his hands low on the wheel, long digits thwacking the steering wheel to a silent beat. You glanced between the two, suspicious of their matching expressions. You dared ask, “Why’s it so quiet?”

  “Are you saying-“ Kuroo began.

  “-you want some tuunesss?” Bokuto ended giddily.

  He readily tapped a button on his phone, shielding the screen from you protectively. Kuroo’s gaze darted between the dash screen and the road, waiting for whatever shitpost song Bokuto most definitely was about to put on.

  “Guys… what are you-“

  A record scratch.

  I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me.

  “You’re fucking kidding me! Turn it up, turn it up!” Your hand bulleted to the volume, body squeezing past the two to crank up Cascada’s Everytime We Touch until the windows rattled. Kuroo and Bokuto shared a knowing, toothy smirk. Bingo.

  “Forgive me, my weakness, but I don't know why

Without you, it's hard to survive!”

  Duetting with the utmost of dramatics, you and Bokuto reached for some imaginary lover escaping in the distance, opposite hand grasping near your hearts. Kuroo snickered, forever and always amused at how weirdly in-sync the two of you could be. Watching both of you thrash wildly together was probably the most endearing thing he’s seen all day.

  The silveret pumped his fists as you both scream-sang the modern masterpiece. His large hands enveloped yours with enough theatrics to shake the emotion into the chorus:  

  “'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling

And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last

Need you by my side

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static

And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky

Can't you hear my heart beat so? I can't let you go

Want you in my life!”

  The palm of your hands smacked into their biceps at the last lines, letting the 2000’s synth twinkle into your veins. The vibes in this vehicle were immaculate. Waves that crashed over you, drowning you earlier in the day, receded, leaving sun-warmed sands to dance across. The ones who paved the way were a sarcastic cat and overzealous owl.

  The song was coming to an end and you excitedly whipped between the two, “What’s next?! What’s the playlist?! Link it to me? Please?” You bat your eyelashes at them, Kuroo nudging his chin to the other. The ace hurriedly clicked a few buttons and opened a few apps, radiating delight itself, “Done!” Your phone buzzed with Bokuto’s link. The title of the playlist popped up, overpouring unadulterated admiration into your heart until it warmed up to your cheeks.

  Tunes To Cheer Our Best Babe Up To.

 It was silly, but on brand for the two. All of the songs were added within the last three hours by both boys. Each one of them an absolute banger.

  It was Kuroo’s idea in the beginning. He remembered all the times in high school you’d cry after an exam, near inconsolable until he’d loan you his headphones. Just a few months ago, he caught you throwing it back to the beat of some pop classic after you failed your first semester’s final exams. There’s a video of it somewhere, but he won’t admit to the sin. You know it because you can hear him hyena-laugh in the hallway every so often as Bad Boy riots in the background.

  Bokuto, with all the brilliantly rambunctious enthusiasm the world could give a single human being, added in every song he already had in his likes. All of which he sung with you on every trip until your voices hurt. He even added Mr. Brightside, reminding you of the time he screamed so loud during the chorus that he sounded like a donkey the rest of the day and into his next match. To this very day, the infamous ‘O ᴼO ᵒn ᵉ  TᵒOᵘCʰ’ could be heard in the locker rooms by each teammate in unison.

  You paused as the next song hit, mouth abruptly shutting as the two in the front recited, word-for-word,

  “Man, fuck.”

“What's wrong Bo?”

“Man, these kids, man, talkin' shit, makin' me feel bad.”

“Man, fuck them kids, bro! Look around, hoots, look at life!”

“Man, you're right”

“Mmm, you see? You see this fine bitch right over here?” Kuroo’s long fingers pinched your cheek at the red light, laughing as you jokingly smacked it away.

“Yeah, woah...” Bokuto beamed at you.

“You see these trees man? You see this water?” You snorted as Kuroo’s hand waved to four-way intersection.

“I guess it is okay.”

“Come on, man, you got so much more to appreciate, man.”

“Man you know what, y-you're right...” The words, lyrics or otherwise, still brought a childish scrunch to the ace’s handsome face.

“You damn right I'm right,” Kuroo smirked, taking even the smallest bit of delight out of his perfected timing, “I can't remember a time I was god-damn wrong.”

“Man, thanks, Demon Cat.”

“Hey man, that's what I'm here for.”

  Bokuto, half-joke-half-serious punched Kuroo’s bicep, eliciting a feral smirk as they went into the chorus. Bo’s arms crossed as he shook his shoulders to the beat. Kuroo threw down at the next red light, clapping to each beat. Just as the bass shook your heart in its chest, both players head-banged with all their might, car jerking with the force. You feared for the steering wheel and the threat of an airbag going off when both boys slam-drummed the vehicle’s surface. The sight of the two of them going absolutely feral elicited the brightest cackle from your belly.

  They really knew how to turn your shittiest days into your new favorites. And you’d definitely be revisiting this playlist.

[lemonietrinket]

played salty, playing sweet ||| seonghwa x reader

summary: you and seonghwa have a frenemies relationship—you’re friends, but boy do you bicker 24/7. one day though, seonghwa takes it a step too far. genre: angst! fluff at the end bc happy endings! warning(s): foul language at someone (2x f**k, 2x a**hole), a remark that makes fun of someone’s intelligence word count: 2390 an: sorry this is a bit late anon! i hope it was worth the wait though, i didn’t want to give you something that wasn’t quite good enough, so i figured an extra day wouldn’t hurt too much in the long term

~~~

“well at least i didn’t fail one of the easiest exams in the year.”

seonghwa had said it with a humorous glint in his eye. he’d turned away from you, watching the world outside go by aimlessly, all because he couldn’t handle looking at you too long, lest his heart fall out of his chest. you’d already caught him blushing once. it had been while eating ice cream in the park with hongjoong, when he’d spontaneously decided to tag along. as the drizzle rolled back yet left the odd heat behind, you’d made a mad dash for the truck, longing to do what you hadn’t done in so long. once the chocolate was in your hands, you had dived in while not paying attention, eyes fluttering off to the side to listen to hongjoong (seonghwa couldn’t remember what it was about, no doubt the exaggerated hundredth challenge eden had made him do back in predebut) and ended up with a dollop on your nose. the guffaw that fell from your lips was adorable, as you cackling, “what an idiot!” all while seonghwa stood, mesmerised by your happiness. he wished he could make it happen more often, and yet all that he could ever say was teasing remarks, which only ever worked on the odd occasion. 

trapped in his memory, the corners of his lips, that had risen to the point he was very nearly laughing all over, again didn’t twitch as his head whipped round at the slam of a door. 

eyes wary, seemingly aware of the wave of chaos that was about to crash upon the dorms, he looked to where you had been, and then nervously about the rest of the living room.

“y/n?”

there was no sign of you. all that his eyes met was the disappointed glare of his bandmate, slouched and curled so small on the sofa he was entirely easy to miss.

“you gone fucked up, hwa,” hongjoong announced simply to him.

“what...?” he stared at him, elfin eyes wide watching him closely. all while he himself was still lagging behind. “wait what—”

“you should go after them.”

his face fell into stony fear as the dread sank into the pit of his stomach, as heavy as lead. the jigsaw pieces began to slowly fit together. “go after...? but, they...”

he looked back to the empty archway where your beautiful figure had been just seconds prior, a baggy clashing jumper pulled over mustard sleeves and a black denim pinafore. it wasn’t your favourite outfit, he knew that, but he had to admit it was one of his.  not that he’d ever gotten close to admitting a sliver of those thoughts to you. he’d never even harmlessly complimented you on it. or anything you wore, for that matter. 

“let me put it this way hwa. if you don’t go and treat my best friend right for once i will make you.”

he knew that the leader was pulling his stern-dad-face that wasn’t convincing nor terrifying in the slightest, but seonghwa didn’t care. he was too busy cursing and leaping to his feet. he didn’t even bid him goodbye as he tore past. 

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

you sat hunched on the park bench, wrung iron icy at your back while the sun seemed desperate to vex you, piercing through a convenient gap in the clouds and straight into your eyes.

with shudders heaving through your body your fist remained tight at your mouth. the faint hisses of your frantically silenced cries were growing louder and stronger, and yet the woman strolling with a push chair down the path nearby still did not retrieve her child from the old-fashioned pavilion. 

you shook your head slowly as you curled over, your forehead meeting your knees in a desperate attempt to keep quiet. the last thing you needed was a genuinely concerned stranger--their kindness would have you all-out balling like a child in an instant.

still, it would all come out at some point, in one form of another, and despite your wishes you didn’t get to dictate when. 

“why would you say that, why would you say that, why would you say that,” you wailed in a whisper to yourself, the face of the man who had spoken engraved in your mind beyond erasure. maybe it was the place you were in that made it so strong, since this had been the place where you had eaten ice cream during the summer. despite all of your doubts and worries and constant analysis of the words he teased you with, there was no other explanation to the smile he had that day. there was no teasing in the way he grinned, nor was there anything less than sheer tenderness within it, and it was the one thing that held you tethered to whether you could be more than just the bantering friends you clearly already were. on the other hand, maybe it was just your lovesick state, exaggerating the tiny inflections of incessantly replayed memories, as the latest thing he’d said surely would cancel all that sweetness out. 

a whimper released from your throat and you very nearly fell over the knife edge when your name was called over the late october air. 

your head flew up before you could stop it, gaze bleary and encrusted with tears as the voice you heard lifted your spirits, only to let them plummet again like a rollercoaster. 

he was running across the grass towards you, no coat to cover his arms, dark locks blustered about his face by the wind, before his feet were pounding the paving, coming to a slow and then a stop. 

“y/n, i—”

as soon as he was stood before you, catching his breath with blushed cheeks and his onyx eyes searching yours, all those cries that you had blockaded within you burst through. 

“you fucking asshole!” you screamed, words choked with sobs as you lurched to your feet. “you asshole! why the hell would you even go there?!” 

seonghwa looked more winded than you did, heart crushed at what he’d done to you. 

“do you forget i have feelings or something?!” you cried. your nails dug into your palms, the adrenaline pumping through your body beginning to shoot only up to your head. “do you know how hard i worked to study for that... that stupid... paper, i—”

it felt like all the blood in your body was trapped inside your skull at that moment. the realisation of rest of the world around you hit square in your gut, and your words gave way much like your feet did, leaving you to collapsed back onto the bench, your voice only giving sound to quiet sobs. 

for a minute, he stood at the other side of the path in silence, guilt eating him up as he looked at the consequences of his cowardice.  hongjoong’s words echoed in his head, as he despaired. there’s no way she’ll like you back now, he thought. taking a deep breath however, he made his way cautiously over to you, one step at a time. it was his fault, and it was time to take responsibility. he could still fix this situation, and that was much more important.

“y/n, i am so sorry,” he began gently, “back when your results came, i saw you smiling about it, laughing it off, i thought it was fair game...”

he reached the edge of the bench and the space left. it was big enough for him to fit, almost perfectly, but he continued to stand, a little distant to give you space. “i’m sorry, i should have listened to my intuition more, been more careful, should’ve paid closer attention.”

no matter how afraid i am to, he added in his head. 

“i never meant to hurt you, but that doesn’t mean that it’s... all ok,” he finished, apologising once again, chewing at the inside of his cheek as he nervously waited for any response.

even with your head bowed you were absolutely stunning, how your hair caught the bright autumn sun and accentuated the beautiful face he knew so well. tear stained only made the urge to hold you stronger, to make you laugh more powerful.  how had he gotten into this mess.

“why did you have to say that, seonghwa?” your words were threadbare, lilting like distant birdsong made up only of mountain echoes. your tears had not quite dried, cheeks rosy from the wind and his mistake, but your breath was more stable. “why do you always have to tease me? why can’t you... just say the nice things, the sweet things?” 

he wasn’t aware of just how much of a leap you had made, and how your heart threatened to burst from your ribs at the dangers you had proposed for yourself. with fortune on your side however, they did not come, and seonghwa continued, discarding the urge to back down against what he had done for so long prior.

“i want to say them, i always do,” he explained hesitantly, trying to push through the murk of the truth and continue with the revelation he had discovered, “i was just... so afraid.”

“of what?”

your question was so simple and yet he couldn’t answer straight away. swallowing thickly, with it heavy upon his tongue, he tried his best. “of you not liking me back. of being made to look like an idiot for thinking i had...”

the wind rustled the trees who gossiped about the scene below by their roots. your eyes glanced up to see the mother and child nowhere to be found and you couldn’t help but wonder at what point they decided to leave, or whether they fled from the drama at all.  you didn’t dwell on it though, there was no way you could with your crush stood waiting patiently for you to speak. he looked much like a kicked puppy, though he was trying to retain his cool by avoiding your gaze fully. although, he never looked away.

“you looked like an idiot anyway,” you finally answered, waiting for him to respond with a retort and assume everything was ok. but he didn’t. he remained quiet, waiting for you to finish. “just for a different reason.”

he nodded at that. 

it never truly dawned on you that the play that you were enacting was actually for one, a confession, and two, real. that wouldn’t actually come until you opened your eyes an hour later after falling asleep upon that bench. instead, you continued to drift through reality, flowing with what felt right.

catching onto the fact he was waiting for your call, you shifted just slightly across the bench to beckon him to sit.

he perched on the edge of the iron at your side, a fair distance between you as he finally tore his eyes away, letting them settle across the small hills of the park. there wasn’t anyone in sight, the sun having gone in and leaving the cold to continue its infiltration into your bones.  

thus, you shuffled across the bench, a fair bit in reality that he didn’t notice until the very end, when you were about to lean into to him.

“y/n...?”

you rested your head on his shoulder, the warmth he seeped reigniting your icy skin and fending off the numbness that had taken root there without you knowing. it felt natural to be there, laying against him, and he seemed to think so too, as he made no effort at all to stop you. in fact, he shifted himself further back, giving you more room, and let out the air he had gathered in his lungs for a blow he never received.  

“i like...” you began, though you were stopped by the need to clear your throat, your sobbing having left it dry, “your leather jacket, back home. it looks so comfortable and... badass.”

you felt him look down to you, though you made no effort to crane your neck up to see what his expression was. you were quite comfortable enough where you were. soon though, he caught on. “i like your outfit today. it suits you really well.”

the joyous rush seonghwa felt after complimenting you was ineffable.

“your voice is really good. it’s so soft and clear.”

“i think your laugh is sweet. it’s adorable and i can’t help but smile when you i hear it.”

“i think you’re cute.”

“i think you’re gorgeous.”

a chill caught your shoulders and a shiver melded with your shy giggle that followed his words. within moments though, his arm is around you, holding you closer, protecting you from the autumn cold. it felt so right to finally be nice to one another, and tiredly staring off at the buffering canopies beyond, you regretted all the time you had wasted dancing around the subject in favour of the status quo. 

“isn’t this much better?” you murmured finally, glancing up to catch a glimpse of hi handsome face at a new angle. “playing sweet?”

he peered down to meet you, a small smile upon his plush lips. it wasn’t as grand as the one on that bright summer’s afternoon, but it felt sincere all the same—etched with nerves from where he had bitten anxiously, teasing at his cheeks, a box grin in the making. 

his hand, somehow hot against the approaching winter, rose to softly rest against your temple. he traced spirals into your skin there, delicately as if the wind could brush them away, before lifting to the corner of your eye. you’d long since finished crying, your eyes and nose tinted rouge—it would have been something that you would’ve been ashamed of, but the man’s doting caress was enough to push it far from your mind. despite the disappearance of your sorrow, the chrysalis of a tear, near complete, resided there. and so he wiped it away with the tip of his thumb.

shy at his touch, you ducked your head away from his tenderness, choosing to bury your nose in his neck instead. you felt his laugh roll through you, deep and calming, as his arms held you secure at his chest. and there, in the face of the cold autumn, you decided that you could stay like that for a bit longer.

~~~

an: idk if i like this yet. probably not.

once again i wrote this in drabble format thinking it would be short but then it was not. like always. why am i even surprised. 

masterlist

[megacross-ground-zero-rated-r]

Warning for NSFT text and feelings of shame. Specifically, internalized aphobia and the negative feelings that come with being non-normative.

I've posted something to this effect before but it still bugs me. Especially one example that I've never quite forgotten.

I don't like fics that have it where Nick takes up until the events of his game to discover he can have a sexual response to touch. I really don't like it if someone else does it for him.

If we're going with the fifty year timeline, he must've gotten curious at some point, even if it was just testing for pressure sensitivity in different spots rather than trying to get turned on. Or he happened to trail his fingertips over a sensor during an exam, did it again because that felt nice, then it dawned on him what kind of nice it is. Idly rubbing the spot between his legs or a tear in his neck because his instincts said so, and he has no reason to deny them, before he realizes oh my God that's actually doing something.

Or he woke up hugging a pillow, in the back of his mind, dancing with a few salacous images that had entertained his dream, flits a vague sense-memory of rocking his hips into something warm and soft, and low moans spilling from his mouth. This time he does it on purpose. There's really any number of things that could trigger it.

It's been a long time since I read one but the ones where he did go so long unaware don't really seem to do anything with the emotional impact of this? Like, embarrassed that he didn't find out sooner, that someone else beat him to the punch?

Confused, wondering if some odd misfire of his curcuitry is tricking him into thinking he's having an impossible reaction, because even an advanced machine like him shouldn't be capable of such a sensation. Insisting there must be some mistake.

Irritated that he could’ve been using it as a stress reliever, spared a few blown gaskets.

What about overjoyed that he can finally have the rush of cumming together with his partner again? What about feeling a fresh grief because he thought for so long he was too broken, too inhuman to "really" have sex with his old partners?

What about overwhelmed with a surge of memories of his namesake's sex life? He doesn't want anything to distract from the experience as they surface, replaying and studying them, then filing them in his databanks.

He doesn't flinch away. I haven't seen him say, I'm sorry, I need to get more familiar with myself first. Or even letting the other person watch him instead. He doesn’t say I don't feel ready for this because I thought I could never do it. It pretty much just goes from there to sex without question, without hesitation.

I'm not entirely opposed to him wanting to do it sooner rather than later, and/or despite some misgivings deciding to go with the partner he has right that moment because they’re there and willing. Like, I get it. He's caught up in the heat of it, please, touch me, I feel like my nerves are on fire, I want your hands all over me, that's a very human impulse.

Sorry, what I meant to say is, despite being a more logic-driven companion he is still capable of being impulsive.

But when both of them treat it as the foremost logical outcome to just jump right in. When his partner doesn't even ask or hesitate at all- Aside from being creepy, why would you not want to pick his brain??? Did he really go howeverthefuck long without that sensation? How much did he miss it? What did he try before this? Did something happen recently that might’ve changed his sensitivity level? Is he worried about overstimulation?

This is much the same problem I have with "oh, cool, he does have a dick, you know what that means" fics, like no! First of all, that must feel really different from his old one, right? Is that difference good, bad, neither? Does he still get random erections? Is it the same size and shape? If not, how did he adjust? Does he like the way it looks? Do his partners like the sensation of it? What were their typical reactions to seeing it, feeling it get hard against them?

I want him to have agency over his body, is all, and I don't feel he gets enough of it. It smacks of the A Man Is Always Eager trope. I'm probably being nitpicky because he's my favorite... I might try to find them again and see if they're as irksome as I remember, or maybe I am being too harsh.

[george-mackay-macfine]

Dear Diary - Prt. 8

November 3rd, 2011

Dear Diary, 

Here’s a comprehensive list of what the last two / three days have been comprised off. 

Dean and I trying to cheer Harry up, and convince him that Ellie wasn’t all she was cracked up to be. 

Me cleaning Harry’s face pretty regularly… somehow the injuries from the fight made him even more attractive… 

Dean telling Harry if it was the consistent sex Harry was upset he’d be loosing he was sure he could help him find another girl. 

George knocking on my door at one in the morning after he’d finished drinking and watching football with Harry, Dean, Henry and Jordan begging me to let him inside… He promised he’d only sleep…. You don’t know how close I was to conceding. 

Jordan’s done a TOTAL 180, he’s not being a dickhead since the party… It’s nice. 

Henry’s been helping me study sometimes, he’s really good at keeping me focused… I think he’s learnt that if we stop every twenty minutes to talk about George boy’s I’m pretty good. 

I’ll keep you updated as the week goes on, 

November 5th, 2011

Dear Diary, 

Not much has changed, Harry’s attitude has improved some more. The flat’s becoming less tense, his face has healed.  

George hasn’t knocked on my door again…

November 8th, 2011

Dear Diary, 

Today, well tonight really I’m going to give my first all-nighter a go… To be fair it’ll be in the comfort of my own home, in my own bedroom, but the excitement is still there, well as much excitement I can muster when I think about the mountains of work I have to go through. 

Exams are coming up and I do need to be prepared. 

November 8th, 2011 - Still 

I cannot work here. Dean and Harry have the boys over again, and they’re being obnoxiously loud! Don’t they understand how hard medicine is? All the moving parts… 

November 8th, 2011 - Still 

Dear Diary,

Sorry for all the diary entries, but now I’ve left the flat, and I’ve been at the library for the last four hours - not that interesting I know, but it’s what happened on the lead up to me leaving the house, and the walk to the library, AND the library itself. Let me break it down into three parts for you. 

Incident One - The flat 

“Y/N,” I groaned my head dropping against my textbook as George slipped into my room, I picked my head up and spun on my chair to look at him arms folded over my chest, eyes turning into slits. George, on the other hand, had a bottle of beer in his hand, his cheeks flushed and that stupid goofy smile I adored so much stretched across his lips. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m trying to study, but some people keep making a lot of noise,” 

“Is that them out there?” He thrust his thumb over his shoulder oblivious to my sarcasm. “Want me to tell them to be quiet?” 

“No, it’s okay.” I spun back around, hands picking up my various textbooks and notebooks. “I need to go to the library anyway. You guy’s don’t need to try and keep it down.” 

“You’re leaving?” I nodded my head, picking up all the notebooks and texts book’s I’d need. “You don’t need to leave, We can be quiet I swear,” George sat down on my bed, the springs squeaking. He bounced a couple more times, springs making the same noise. “Wow,”

“What?”

“Loud bed,” He moved again his face shrivelled in confusion. “Wouldn’t be the best for any late-night activities,” I rolled my eyes and reached over George to pick up the backpack I’d carelessly dropped hours ago when I’d come home from classes. George was quicker though, his hands gripped my waist and pulled me into his lap. “What’s going on in this head of yours,” His fingertips tapped my head gently, “Talk to me Y/N,” 

“I’m fine George,” 

“You’re not,” He moved my arms so they strung around his shoulders, linking behind his neck. “Tell me what it is,” He smiled sweetly up at me, “You can talk to me,” I fiddled with my fingers behind his neck, fingers grabbing onto the short hair at the nape, as I ducked my head down, unable to take the eye contact, “It’s just us Y/N…” He leant his forehead against mine. “Just us,”

“I’m mad at you,” I frowned deeper, “I know I don’t have the right to be, but I am.” 

“Why?” His free hand pushed the hair behind my ear, I had nothing to hide behind. “Because I kissed you?” I nodded my head, skin bumping his, bottom lip slipping between my teeth. “I’m not mad at you,” His hand worked from my hair to my lip, softly pulling the bottom lip out from beneath my teeth. “But I do need you to stop doing this, why are you mad about the kiss?” 

“You’re used to this George, you’ve dated girls casually, had one night stands but I haven’t,” 

“We didn’t sleep together…” 

“I wasn’t done.” I snapped. “I have never kissed a boy who wasn’t my boyfriend, let alone kissed a boy who's my close friend… I don’t really know how to feel about it, How to act.” My hands fell from around his neck to his shoulders, picking at the fabric. 

“Do you regret it?” 

“I don’t know,” I whispered fingers continuing to fiddle. “I just feel like you’re on this other level to me, you always have been this great thing that’s always seemed so out of my reach, ever since high school and I’m down on another level and my head is spinning because we kissed George,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “We kissed, and I know I said it wouldn’t change things, but then you said those things after, and I’m sorry but it has changed and I can’t be the only one who's felt it."

“You’re not on another level to me Y/N,” He cleared his throat, “Especially not below me, if anything… you’re above me,” He pulled back, hands holding onto my cheeks. “You’re Y/N fucking Y/L/N… Every guy at my school thought you were the sweetest person, I remember one time at a football match, you handed out orange slices to all of our players because our school didn’t have anything for us and it was a hot day… First time I ever saw you,” He cleared his throat, “But, you’re right. I’m sorry for kissing you, it was wrong, and I’m sorry for saying those things after, that was also wrong of me.” One of his hands left my face, fingers beginning to run comforting circles on my hip bone, “But we can just pretend it didn’t happen Y/N, we can go back to how things were leading up to the party, leading up to the kiss… let’s just forget it happened.” 

“Really?” George nodded his head, 

“I mean I’ll have to tear the pages out of my diary but I can pretend if it means I keep my best girl,” 

“Shut up,” I groaned my head falling onto his shoulder. George moved us, my bed squeaking underneath him as he lay down, I was still on top of him, my head against his chest now listening to his heartbeat. 

“You really are the best girl I’ve ever met Y/N,” George’s hands ran up and down my back. “And I truly am sorry that you were feeling like that, my mum would kill me if I hurt you,” I looked up at him, chin resting on his chest now.

“You told your mum about me?” 

“Of course,” He smiled. 

He’s bloody done it again,

“I have to go,” I pushed up from his chest, climbing awkwardly over him, picking up the bag and shoving my books in. “I really have to get some studying in,” I didn’t let George reply as I pushed open my bedroom door as a loud cheer filled my ears. “Exam’s are close,” 

“Where you off to Y/N?” Jordan asked, eyes still trained on the T.V, “MacKay annoy you that much you’re running away?” 

“No, just to the library,” I smiled walking to the door. “Enjoy the game,” I pulled the door open and slipped out quickly.  “Jesus,” I whispered as I leant against the door for a second, giving my mind the time to process the events that had just happened. 

George MacKay had made my heart rate spike in a matter of seconds, his sweet admission turning me to mush, but should I really be surprised, at this point I was certain George could do anything and as soon as he flashed his goofy smile my way I’d crumble and fall at his feet - unhealthy really when I think about it. 

“Don’t be that girl Y/N, don’t be that girl,” I whispered to myself as I pushed away from the door beginning to walk down the hallway. 

This led into the next thing,

Incident Two - The walk

“Y/N,” I turned to look behind me as I reached the door for the stairwell, Harry was running towards me pulling on his coat. I stepped away from the door, walking towards him. “Hey,” 

“What's wrong?” Harry shook his head, a slight smile on his lips 

“Nothing, I’m going to walk you,”

“You don’t need to Harry,” 

“I’m not letting you walk alone,” He reached behind me and pulled the heavy door open, nodding his head for me to walk through. 

“You’ll miss the game,” He shrugged his shoulders, hand going to my lower back, now pushing me through the door. 

“I’ll watch the replays,” He smiled walking behind me, together we walked down the three levels and out into the cool early evening air, I had to stop myself from staring at him the entire time, unable to work out why exactly he was walking me. “Why are you going to the library?”

“I’m having trouble studying at home, and I figure it’s the easiest place to go,” I shrugged readjusting the backpack. 

“Here let me,” Harry reached and took the backpack off my shoulder, casually pulling it over his own. “Were we being too loud?” 

“It's fine,”

“You should have told Dean or I… it’s your flat too.” 

“Its fine Harry, I don’t mind,” I smiled across at him. “Besides you’ve been… not the happiest the last couple of days I didn’t want to stop you from having some much-needed fun,” 

“Doesn’t matter,” 

“It does.” I pulled my coat tighter around my body. “You deserve to have some fun,” 

“How about we make a list,” Harry suggested, “Of things we want our future selves to remember, from our eighteen-year-old selves,” Harry shuffled the bag on his shoulder. “When I get back to the flat, I’ll write them all down, and we’ll go over them in thirty years,” 

“You still wanna be friends in thirty years?” I looked across to Harry, unable to keep the bright smile from my lips. 

“Nothing good ever happens after two AM.” He declared. “Making any decisions in the most unholy of holy hours is always a terrible idea. The tattoo, the piercings… all bad ideas,” 

“Things change, it might not have worked out the first time, but time changes things…”

“You don’t always end up being the person you always planned to be,” 

“Oh, a good one,” I pursed my lips. “Don’t think so much and just do.” 

“Destiny happens whether you plan it or not,” He looked over to me, urging me on with his eyes. 

“There is someone out there for you, no matter what you think…. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday.” 

“Enjoy the ride, even if you know the expiration date.”  He smirked, “I mean it Y/N… Uni isn’t going to be around forever, you got to enjoy it more.” 

“The littlest things can have a ripple effect that’ll change your life,” 

“There are two big days in any love story. The day you meet the girl of your dreams, and the day she takes your last name.” 

“Love’s confusing,” I bit my lip, mind flashing to George, and the events of my bedroom only minutes earlier. 

“Wait for it,” Harry finished. “Whatever it is, whoever it is… If you know you want it, or them… wait for them,” 

“I like that one the best,” 

“She cheated on me,” Harry announced, “I know I should have been most angry about that, but that wasn’t the reason Oliver and I got into it.” 

“What were you angry about?” Harry shook his head, his mouth turning into a thin line. 

“I’ll tell you about it another day,” 

“Sure,” I nodded my head, “Whenever you’re ready,” It was killing me not knowing what would make Harry angrier than his girlfriend cheating on him, but I knew better than to pry into things. We walked in silence the rest of the way, only interrupting it when either of us had a random comment, nothing to surge a conversation between us, but it was peaceful. 

“Call me when you’re going to be done.” Harry spoke as we reached the library pulling my bag from his shoulder, “Dean or I will come get you,” 

“No,” I began to protest, “It’ll be far too late,” 

“You’re calling me Y/N.” Harry demanded as he passed my bag over to me, “Or I’m going to stay with you all night and watch you as you study…” 

“Firstly, that’d be creepy. Secondly, I’m old enough to walk home without a chaperone.” 

“That’s not the question, it’s a matter of me being able to sleep soundly knowing you got home okay,” He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at me. “Now, you’re going to call me or I’m not leaving,” Harry and I had a staredown for a minute before I finally threw my hands up in the air. 

“Fine, Jesus.” I groaned dramatically, “I thought I was leaving my big brother back home when I came here,” Harry flashed me a toothy grin. 

“No way babe,” Harry walked backwards waving his hand at me. “Call me, if you don’t I’m going to ground your ass,” 

“I’m not a child you can threaten with a spanking and a grounding,” Harry stopped, he walked back towards me a determined smile on his face. He lent down towards my ear, his hand resting on my lower back. 

“If it were a spanking from me, I’m sure you would enjoy it,” He walked backwards smirking as my cheeks flushed bright red. “Be safe,” He pointed into the library, “Now, go learn some shit,” He continued to smirk as he turned, to walk home. 

Harry Hudson had officially returned to the group chat. 

“Bye Harry,” I waved my hand high above my head, unable to hide the bubble of joy his comment gave me,

“Call me when you’re ready, to come home, I’ll be here.” He called back over his shoulder, hands dug into his coat pockets as he walked up the street. 

“Is he your boyfriend?” I turned, to my left a girl stood at the bottom of the stairs, a backpack strung over her arm, and a golden lab assistance dog sitting patiently at her feet. 

“No, he’s my roommate,” I breathed,

“He sounds cute,” The girl giggled, “Is he cute?” 

“Yeah, he is.”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” I stepped towards the girl, 

“Do you need help?” 

“Bronte here’s got me. Thank you though.” She stepped up one of the stairs, “But if you’d like we can sit together? It does get pretty lonely here after a while,” This led me into the next event. 

Incident Three - Charlotte

“Sure, that’d be great.” I watched as the girl walked up the rest of the stairs, her blonde hair billowing out behind her. “Do you come here often?” 

“Mostly during the night, my parents live around the block, and I find fewer people whisper to their friends about the ‘blind girl’ when they’re here cramming for tests,” 

“People do that?” The girl shrugged, her small frame hidden beneath her large jumper. 

“Sometimes, sometimes not,” I rushed ahead of her and grabbed the door, watching as the girl and her dog, Bronte worked in perfect synchronisation. When the girl walked so did Bronte. “I’m Charlotte, by the way.” 

“Y/N Y/L/N,” 

“Pleasure to meet your Y/N,” Charlotte smiled brightly towards me, “What are you studying then?” 

“Medicine, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor since I was a girl, what about you?” I asked quietly as we sat down at one of the oak desks. I pulled my backpack up onto the desk, pulling out what I needed, Charlotte followed suit, sitting across from me, releasing Bronte from her work before she pulled out books lying them across the table.  

“Law,” 

“Wow,” 

“Wow as in I can’t believe a blind girl thinks she can be a lawyer,”

“No,” I shook my head. “If anything I think that’ll make you an even better lawyer,”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you can’t be fooled by emotions, peoples poker faces, you’ll be listening purely to the facts of the case, how people respond to your questions… if they inflect their voices when they lie… If they’re voice trembles when they replay what happened, your other instincts are strong from your lack of one of the main sense… Your body’s natural instincts will kick in, and you’ll work it out…” 

“Good answer,” She laughed pulling a textbook towards her. I watched unmoving as she opened one of the books, her fingers running over the small raises in the pages. 

“Is it hard?” I blurted out, my hand slapping against my mouth the second the question hung in the air. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that, Its none of my business,” 

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind,” She smiled kindly, eyes downcast on the books. “I went blind when I was sixteen, and I think that was the hardest thing,” She leant her chin on her hand, “Having something so crucial taken away from you pretty suddenly,” She took a deep breath and shook her head, “Sorry, I don’t mean to just offload onto you,” I pushed my book away my attention focused solely on the girl across the table from me, 

“Go ahead, I think you have a lot to say, and I’m willing to listen if you want to get it off your chest,” 

“You sure? It’s not a short spiel,” 

“I’ve been procrastinating from studying all day, at least if you talk to me I’ll be doing something useful for someone.” 

“I went blind when I was sixteen, that was two years ago, I’m still learning how to do things but Bronte really helped me… She makes a lot of things a lot easier, sometimes I use a cane but it’s not as easy, or as fun, least with Bronte I have someone to talk to, and who can comfort me when I need it.” She pursed her lips for a second, I notice her hand instantly went to Bronte’s head, giving the dog a loving scratch. “What else,” Her tongue clucked as she thought. “I attended Uni, like you but I guess it’s lonely since most people don’t really know how to take me or interact with me. I’m sure if I could see them they’d duck out of my way so quickly it’d be comical.”

“Maybe we can set up hidden cameras, make some money off the internet,” 

“Hey now, look whose got the big ideas,” She chuckled at my stupid, idiotic, dumb idea. 

Such a dumb idea Y/N, Jesus you’re an idiot. 

“They don’t try to talk to you?” 

“Some do, but I think a lot of them are freaked out by me,” She frowned. “It’s like they think they can catch it if they talk to me for too long,” 

“I’m not,” 

“Thank you Y/N,” She fiddled with the ring on her middle finger. 

“Keep going, it’ll be cathartic to let it all out,” 

“I’m annoyed at the world if I’m honest, not because my sight was taken away, I mean yes that fucking sucked, but because I’m afraid I’m going to miss out on a great love.” She hit her hand against the book frustrated. “I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love, you know the proper love you read about where the girl gets the foot pop when she kisses the boy, and he comes to her house in the middle of the night because he needs to be with her, needs to see her…. I just don’t think I’ll get it since no one would want to date a blind person, and I guess…”

“Go on,” 

“I don’t think I’m worthy of love…”

“Charlotte,”

“Don’t judge me Y/N,” 

“I’m not, but everyone is worthy of love,” I reached across the table and grabbed her hand. Giving it a tight squeeze. “Why don’t you think you’re not worthy of love?”

“How can someone love me when I can’t love myself?”

“You don’t like yourself?”

“Not happy with myself,” 

“Why aren’t you happy with yourself?” 

“Before I went blind I cared a lot for how I look and loosing that I feel like I lost a massive part of me, and I don’t know if I would like what I would see now.” 

“You’re beautiful,” She looked up. “I know you’ve just met me, but I want you to know that you are beautiful, we all are but your vision didn’t make you beautiful, or a good person… just as losing it doesn’t make you any less of either… Charlotte, you should believe in love,” I gave her hand another squeeze. “Just because a part of you isn’t perfect, or your not worked out in your own head, doesn’t make you any less worthy of something… love is magical, and when you meet the right guy it’s all going to make sense, why the others didn’t work out, or why there were no other… it’ll make sense,” 

“Thank you,” 

“I could use a good friend who I can talk to about life,” 

“Me too,” 

“Charlotte, do you want to be friends?” 

“Depends,” 

“On what?” She gave me a cheeky smile,

“Can you describe your cute roommate to me?” She fanned herself dramatically. “I need a description to go with that voice,” 

[sayhitoforever]

Burn Season - Malcolm Bright x Reader - PT (3/?)

Fictober 28/31

Part 1  Part 2  Part 4  Part 5 - GIF credit to malcolmbrighted again because the GIF quality is 👌. I’ll take requests I guess, to keep me entertained, if anyone wants to make one. Let me know if this story is worth continuing.

~

The precinct was mostly quiet when Malcolm entered the next morning, far earlier than the rest of the team would be there. There was the quiet drone of a radio somewhere, filling the large, desk-filled room with quiet jazz. A few officers were bent over some paperwork, another slumped uncomfortably in their chair, a baseball cap pulled over their eyes as they dozed. Nothing out of the ordinary in there. Malcolm ran a tired, trembling hand through his hair, smoothing it down. He'd come in because he couldn't sleep, not that sleeplessness was anything new. He figured Edrisa might have at least a preliminary work up on the bodies from the last night and he desperately needed something to distract him from his own overactive brain and all the details it was clinging to. He turned away from the main room and moved for the stairs, hoping Edrisa was still down in her lab.

“Oh, excuse me, miss,” Malcolm murmured as he accidentally shouldered a woman as she came stumbling out of a door.

“Snake Eyes, good morning,” the woman said, trying to readjust the lid on top of the banker's box she had in her arms. She jostled it slightly and the tinkling sound of glass moving against glass sounded from the box.

“Miss. L/N?” Malcolm damn near had to do a triple take as he gazed at the woman who'd blown onto his crime scene last night before leaving just as quickly.

“In the flesh,” Y/N said, with a wolfish grin that caught him off guard, and shuffled the box in her arms, trying to do so carefully.

She was dressed in a t-shirt with a navy cardigan thrown over it and dark jeans that were laced into black combat boots. Her hair that she'd worn long and twisting over her shoulder was now swept into a bun atop her head. The scent of a burning forest still clung to her but so did the sharp smell of tequila. Malcolm couldn’t help but stare. It felt like seeing an identical twin, a doppelganger of some kind, dressed down from the beautiful woman he’d seen last night.

She arched an eyebrow at him artfully as he continued to stare. “I got something on my face?” she asked, her lips curling at the edges, voice lilting over the lightest accent that wasn't New York in origin.

Malcolm squinted at her as if she was down the hall and not a foot from his face. “You weren’t lying when you said you and Edrisa were going to drink.”

Y/N shrugged casually, undeterred by Malcolm’s questioning eyes. “If you're looking for Edrisa, she's passed out in a spare cot upstairs,” Y/N said as she strode down the hall, back pushing open a door that Malcolm had never been through. “Don't poke the bear, okay. Besides, I can give you her preliminary.”

Like a moth to flame, Malcolm followed after her and made it to the door in time to hear her drop the box from her arms into a dumpster. It clattered, full of empty glass, as it hit the bottom and rang in the emptiness of the recently emptied dumpster. Y/N came back through the door to find Malcolm waiting and gave him another tilted grin, a grin that made him wonder just how inebriated she might be.

“Where are you from?” Malcolm asked without preamble.

“Chicago,” she answered, and he found no lie in her gaze. “You want the report or no?”

He could only nod numbly as she brushed passed him towards the door he had originally meant to go through before they had collided. Malcolm held it for her as she thumped down the stairs with all the grace of a sober person, combat boots ringing in the stairwell. The three bodies lay on their own tables, white sheets delicately laid across them. Under the sharp smell of formaldehyde lingered the scent of tequila and the sweet undertone of chocolate. Maybe that was what a Baby Stout was?

There was something so relaxed about the lines of her body, so different than what he could remember of her last night. Which was everything, replaying over in his head like a record stuck on repeat. The way she strode across Edrisa’s lab, confident, fingers dancing across the cold metal of the exam tables as she passed them, like she belonged there, was mesmerizing. Enchanted, Malcolm watched as she rifled through a stack of folders on Edrisa’s desk before slipping one out of the pile. She cracked it open as she wove back around to where Malcolm still stood.

“No secondary accelerant, just the gasoline that was used as the primary. Still waiting on dental records, poor suckers.” She wrinkled her nose at something in the report. “Like a couple of char-dogs left on too long.” Y/N held the open report out to him and looked up, eyes twinkling, her lopsided grin the first sign Malcolm thought showed intoxication.

If anything could be said about Malcolm as an adult, as a federal agent, as a criminal profiler, it was his lack of subtlety. In his field experience, subtlety didn’t tend to get him anywhere. And over time, those work habits had bled into his personal life until they were impossible to separate, regardless of who he was dealing with. It was too late at that point, to employ any kind of restraint or sensitivity when speaking with Y/N. He’d already accused her of being a sociopath, had already tried to interrogate her, profile her. She’d handled all of it with practiced grace, all while in the eyes of others, in an environment where she had to perform, to pretend. And Malcolm wanted to break that so suddenly the impulse felt akin to violence.

“Does anybody know the real you?” Malcolm asked, voice quiet, as he studied her. The way her lip curled slightly at his question, the way she gripped the edges of the manila folder too tightly, the way her eyes narrowed just a little and filled with a rage that raised the hair on the back of his neck. And then, it was all gone, wiped clean until she was void of expression, of emotion, her hands relaxing. Y/N seemed to rock back on her heels to put space between her and Malcolm.

“Maybe this is the real me,” she snapped back, her defiant tone a wild contrast to her indifferent face. “Maybe that’s the whole game, profiler. If you figure it out, you get the real, ugly truth as a reward.”

“It’s Malcolm, not profiler, not Snake Eyes, Malcolm,” he fired back. They stood in silence for a handful of heartbeats, gazes blistering as they stared at each other.

Until she smiled, a ferocious flash of teeth, with eyes that glittered under the harsh fluorescent lights of the lab. She closed the folder gently, stepping forward, into his space, before pressing it to his chest with a force that would have made Malcolm stumble if he hadn’t had his back against one of the metal tables. “Let me know if you find anything worth my time, Malcolm,” she murmured, cocking her head to the side as she looked him up and down, her wandering gaze causing goosebumps to break out on his arms.

She had him entirely figured out, Malcolm realized too late and with a crushing sense of exhilarating dread. Malcolm had never considered himself to have a type, of any person, either as a friend or as something more. But she was ticking every unspoken box. Fearless, smart as a whip, with a smile that made his pulse jump, a puzzle worth solving, a challenge. And unlike their descent, her steps were entirely silent as she ascended the stairs back to the main floor, the only sound that she had even departed the room was that of the door slamming somewhere above him. It wasn’t until he could focus on the droning buzz of the lights overhead did he realize that she had agreed with his accusation of her.

[rosesandfandoms]

TxT: You cry while they’re away on tour.

Soobin:

Y/n deeply missed Soobin while he was away, but he was living his dream, so she was okay with it. She knew what she got into when she became Soobin's girlfriend. The fans supported him with coming out with a girlfriend. The only hard part was when Soobin went on tours and wouldn't come home for weeks, almost months.

"Today, we went to this fantastic restaurant, and walked around the city," Soobin explained as he and Y/n talked over Skype, "the people were nice, it was fun. I want to take you there someday."

Y/n tried to put on a brave smile. Not wanting to worry Soobin. Y/n was just missing him was all. And they haven't been dating long, so of course it's going to feel a little weird. However, Soobin did make up for it when he came back home, took her to his practices and everything. She just has to get used to the distance.

"Jagi, are you all right?" the leader asks worriedly, Y/n hasn't been acting her usual self. Normally she would be brightly smiling and telling him about her day, a cute puppy that she saw on the street, reminding her of her childhood dog, and a joke her friend told her.

"Yeah," Y/n put on a fake smile, "just a little tired is all. Studying for exams."

"Y/n, I know you, you don't look just tired," Soobin sighed, "you look like something is on your mind."

"It's nothing," Y/n reasoned.

"It's not nothing, come on Y/n, I may be on tour, but I am still your boyfriend. What's wrong," Soobin said calmly, but sternly. How'd he talk to the maknae's about finishing their schoolwork before they'd play games.

"I just miss you," Y/n sniffled.

"I miss you too, Y/n. It just a couple more weeks and then you'll be in my arms again." Soobin soothed, "when I come home, I'll give you all the cuddles you want. I love you."

"I love you too" Y/n breathed out, feeling a little better hearing his voice and promises.

Yeonjun:

Both of them were bummed. BigHit have Y/n the okay that she could go on tour with her boyfriend. But the odds weren't in her favor. Life made Tomorrow x Together's tour the same time that Y/n's University was having exams, and after begging that she could take the tests online, or earlier, her professors wouldn't let her. So yeah. Yeonjun and Y/n were upset. They had plans after Yeonjun was done doing whatever he had to do, and both were looking forward to going on this tour together. That didn't stop the many, many calls, texts, and video chats though. Y/n would send her boyfriend the answers and he would quiz her during a video chat.

"Right again," Yeonjun chuckled, "you're so smart that I bet you don't even have to study to pass a test."

"Thanks, but this is my worst subject, this lesson we just went over was the easiest," Y/n groaned laying back on her dorm rooms bed. Her roommate was gone for the weekend. Which was a good thing, Y/n didn't want her roommate seeing her cry the whole weekend and stuffing her face with most likely unhealthy food and binge-watching Do Ji Han shows.

After a few moments of silence, Y/n broke down in tears.

"Are you crying?" Yeonjun asked alarmed.

"Yeah," Y/n took a deep breath, "I'm tired, upset, and worn out. I just wish I was with you instead of taking these stupid exams."

"But those exams will pay off, you'll get your degree, and show everyone how smart my beautiful girlfriend is," Yeonjun spoke softly as he stepped outside, the rest of the boys were with him and he wanted to have some privacy once he heard the cries from his phone.

"I miss you so much, it would be easier if I had you here with me to study, you always give me the energy to make it through," Y/n cried harder.

"I'll tell you what, after your last exam, I'll buy you a plane ticket to so that you can meet us at our next stop and you can be on the rest of the tour and take a small break," Yeonjun suggested, "does that sound good? I'll talk to my manager and staff members."

"Yeah," Y/n cooled down, "I'll like that."

"Okay, I'll see you then jagi. Get some rest, you have a busy day tomorrow, I love you don't forget that." Yeonjun smiled at the screen, happy that his girlfriend was no longer crying.

Beomgyu:

The young couple had just gotten in a fight before Beomgyu left for his London tour. Y/n tried to get over it and move on, but the fight kept replaying, over, and over again. Getting louder each time. Why didn't they end the fight when it was getting worse? Did Beomgyu still love her? Is he thinking about her now, like she is him?  These questions burned at the back of her head, the flames making images in her mind, the times they'd sneak out to see each other when they'd just cuddle and little to music when Beomgyu would take endless Polaroids of the both of them, mostly Y/n, her favorite moments were when they'd cuddle and whisper sweet nothings in the other's ears. But will this all end? Just because of a fight? All couples fight, and it is healthy at times to fight, but what about this? Y/n shouldn't have jealousy plague her when she saw a girl get a little too close to Beomgyu, She should have listened to his side, actually listen to him, and trust that he'd never hurt her that way.

Wanting to settle her thoughts if they did really break up. Y/n picked up her phone and suggested a video chat with him. Regretting when he picked up on the almost to the last ring. I don't want to bother him, he's busy. I don't want to make him more upset. Y/n thought. Her heart beating faster as she heard his angelic voice, making her fall in love all over. This will be so hard if it's the end of us.

"Hello," Beomgyu appeared, from the looks of it, he was in bed. There was a bedside lamp on, his hair was messy.

"Did I wake you up?" Y/n asked, her voice almost shaking.

"No," Beomgyu sighed, running his free hair through his blonde hair, "I couldn't sleep."

"Well, you need to sleep, I'll call lat-" Beomgyu cut her off.

"Y/n what is it?" he sat up more in bed. Though they had a fight, he still loved her, and she wouldn't call him this late if something wasn't bothering her. He knows her all too well. The perks of having someone you love.

"I love you," Y/n finally broke down in tears, no longer able to hold them in, "I'm sorry about our fight. I don't want to break up. I miss you so damn much."

"Jagi, hey, take deep breaths," Beomgyu was fulling sitting up, alarmed, but also quiet since Huening Kai was passed out on the other bed, "who said anything about breaking up. It was just a fight, our first one at that, one was bound to happen. I love and miss you too."

"I want to be with you right now," Y/n sniffled, "you're living your dream and I love that, I just want to be in your arms right now."

"I know, I want you to be too," Beomgyu smiled softly, "I'll be home soon, and we'll talk in person about us, and how much I love you. Y/n, it's really late there, get some sleep."

"I love you," Y/n dried her tears.

"I love you too," Beomgyu dried the ones that were coming out of his own eyes.

Taehyun:

Date night. The madly in love couple were having date night over Skype. Couple Goals? Anyway, Taehyun was having a late-night snack, while Y/n was having a mid-afternoon snack. Both telling jokes, and each other about their days. Both missed each other, but they made the best of it. That's what you have to do in situations like these, when you love someone, you force it to work, and not care about the distance. However, Y/n was a little more emotional than normal. That time of the month came, she was cranky, tired of everyone and everything, wanted to have a good cry while sitting alone in a dark room, but most of all she wanted Taehyun's cuddles. Cramps were kicking in, and he always gave her the best cuddles he could manage when her body went through the torture.

"Tae, are you okay, you look upset?" Y/n asked, worried that he might not be feeling well,  is tired, or working himself too hard.

Her heart broke when she saw the little tear fall from his eye. Oh no, she as going to start crying too.

"I just really miss you, I'm tired, I can't fall asleep not knowing if you're one hundred percent okay and if your not next to me," Taehyun tried to wipe away the tears, but they just kept coming out, probably mainly from exhaustion.

"I miss you too, but we will get through this, like always, just a couple more weeks," tears started to come out of Y/n's eyes now too, seeing her boyfriend like this hurt her deeply. All she wanted to do right now was hold him as he cried and tell him that everything is going to be okay.

"I made you cry!" Taehyun froze, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Kang Taehyun, you and I both know that if you start crying, so will I, so don't you dare apologize, there is nothing to be sorry about," Y/n said sternly, "I love you, it's late where you are and you're tired, so go to sleep, we can talk later."

"Okay, I love you too," Taehyun was shocked at the sudden outburst, but got over it when he remembered what week it was, "sleep in one of my shirts, it'll feel like I'm there."

"Who said I wasn't already!" Y/n said after a long pause.

Huening Kai:

Relationships can be hard. Especially when you are young and in love. Everyone will have an input on it, either you're too young to date or it'll be over in a month. They can also be hard when your family doesn't know that you're dating. Fun. But you know? Sometimes you have to keep it that way for a reason, and in this case is, Huening Kai, the Huening Kai. Y/n was the new girl when they met, literally new to the country. Her mother got a really good job as a professor and couldn't let it go away, so the L/n's moved to South Korea. One day, Y/n got up early and walked around town, got in the mood for some coffee before she'd go shop around, and ran into Huening Kai, who was is a rush to go back to the dorms and get some rest since he stayed up late just to practice for his fans, thank the Lord it was Saturday, they bumped into each other, coffee was spilled,  poor guy freaked and offered to buy her another one, they talked, magic happened, they became friends, then boom, a couple. Since it was still in the early stage, Y/n still had to get used to her boyfriend going on tours.

But one night, on a weekend, the couple talked together on Skype. Y/n had a long day at school, still trying to fit in, but she was managing, since she has made some friends. So she was tired and missing her boyfriend at the same time, her first friend she made since the move. And she couldn't help the tears that formed when Huening's handsome face appeared on the screen.

"Y/n it's just for a few days, I'll be back soon," the boy playfully teased.

"I know, I know, I'm still getting used to it." Y/n wiped away the tears.

"Don't cry, that makes me want to cry to and my hyungs are in the same room." Huening Kai told her when he saw more tears coming out of her e/c eyes, his remark caused giggles from his hyung.

"We've already seen you cry before, nothing new, especially when we boarded the plane and you were crying 'Yeonjun hyung, I don't want to say goodbye to my Y/n'." Yeonjun said overdramatically, "oww, Soobin don't throw a pillow at me, it's true, he was looking at her pictures the whole way here!"

"So you missed me too," Y/n laughed through her tears.

"Of course I did, you're my girlfriend." Huening Kai covered his face in embarrassment from his hyungs who were still teasing the daylights out of him.

"Girlfriend?" a voice came from behind Y/n, her eyes widened, "you're dating someone?"

"Mom!"

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch: Episode 38 “Encounter”

mysterylover123

S2 ends with a casual trip to the mall. Nothing else to see here, no siree.

It’s odd for Tomura to designate the “types he hates most” when he hates basically everything. Anyways, Dabi and Toga! aka TotallyNotToya and Yandere Best Girl. Tomura slinks off to go pout in his room like a spoiled child. It’s almost funny.

NO KAMI HANDS OUT OF DEKU’S EYES!!!!

May I just say it is a great injustice that Sero was failed and Mineta passed. Sero tried to save the little creep. Justice for Sero! 

Another Rational Deception! Iida is outraged - how will we ever trust anything you say again?  I wonder if he’s channeling the fanbase here.

Deku inviting Shoto to join them is a Tododeku classic. (Also, BTW, there’s an audio drama where Todoroki and Bakugo, after blowing off Class 1-A antics, run into each other and get stuck together by a villain’s quirk. It’s hilarious, and clearly self-aware about fans shipping them).

OMG DATTE ATASHI NO HIRO IS PLAYING! i guess because they don’t play the ED in this ep. Ah well. Shopping! Iida getting nervous about buying the right kind of shoes! 

Tokoyami, being one of Deku’s many spouses, is rebuking him for scaring strangers with his odd behavior.

Ho boy. This stuff. To fully convey the boredom/annoyance that I feel every time this show decides to replay the same damn scene with Ochaco over the next freaking season, I’m going to start up a “Uraraka Crush Counter”. We had one last ep. Now we’re up to 2. The counter goes off every time Uraraka 1) is made by someone to wonder if she has a thing for Deku 2) freaks out and 3) doesn’t actually answer the freaking question. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I will say I kinda ship it. For Tomura’s sake, of course, not Deku’s. But he does find so much clarity from this one conversation with Izuku, and he’s definitely a character who could use a real hero in his life (me speaking as a manga reader who knows his backstory). Of course, not in a ‘endgame’ kinda way, and Tomura has plenty of LOV ships that are more fitting...but I do have a weak spot for Villain/Hero dynamics. 

HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND

Deku’s reaction to this is chillingly telling. He’s not concerned that Tomura is going to kill him. But with the idea that innocents around him are going to die...that gets him to cooperate. Deku’s complete disregard for his own life strikes again.

“So tell me about your childhood.” “Well, it all started with my shitty dad...”

Does this count as a separate Uraraka Crush Counter? I’m gonna say yes. 3.

Deku explains to Shigaraki quite well exactly what he’s missing: That pesky theme that’s been hanging around all season, MOTIVATION. Bakugo’s drive last ep to be the best. RG noting that Mineta wouldn’t survive at UA without a proper motivation in the Final Exam arc. The Hero Killer’s convictions, despite his evil, inspiring people. Everyone needing motivation to win in the Sports Festival. And Uraraka’s motive, right at the start of the season.

 The only one missing a clear motive, then, is Tomura. (Possibly because he doesn’t, deep down, really want to be a villain, but is stuck in that role anyway). But now, Deku gives him one. He gets it. Nice going Deku. (I’m just kidding with the sarcasm of course Deku you brave sweet best boy.)

Tomura hand flashbacks no! MLA ARC FEELS!!!

NO NOT MY DEKU!!!!

“Is that a friend?” Wha Ochaco wtf do they look like friends? Tho it is Deku so you never know...

“What’s All for one after?” This exchange - I have a theory: Tomura already knows that Deku is OFA9. He knows the whole deal. Hence why he’s so unsurprised by Izuku knowing about OFA, why he asks his advice, why he notices him especially. AFO figured it out and told him. That’s my theory.

We end S2 on a rather somber note, with Deku and mom bidding goodbye to All Might and his Cop Waifu Tsukauchi, as the latter two contemplate Toshinori’s future as a hero. No Datte atashi fantasy AU ED here; just soft, sad music as the credits role, and we transition into the somber and serious Season 3. 

Season 2 of BNHA is, as I’ve said before, the most consistently strong single season of TV I’ve ever seen. Every episode is at least solid, and all three arcs are incredible overall. Season 1 is good but not Standout overall, season 3 has lower lows and higher highs. Still, NGL, I do look forward a little more to Season 3 (and that’s not just because it has Odd Future, I swear, totally not) and it’s huge, game-changing moments, because S2 is just the beginning. It’s a season about motivation, about laying the table and setting up the pieces. Season 3 is the one that knocks them all down.

But not to start s3 right away! The next few days I’ll be watching the stuff in between the 2 seasons instead. 

BKDK CORNER:

Nothing in this episode per se, but this omake does answer the question I had after watching this for the first time: Why didn’t Bakugo freak out about Deku saving him? 

Answer: Ochaco

Ooh boy I want to repost this whole Omake for the corner. Can I? Screw it, I will.

I guess this one’s also a big Kacchako/Izuocha omake too, huh?

Ochaco ships it I will not hear otherwise.

Ooh “so cool” she really is becoming like Deku isn’t she?”

You get it, Ochaco. You are an ally. Never think that I’m against you because you’re Deku’s ‘official’ Love interest or the storytelling of your crush is a little repetitive. ILU.

SHE SHIPS IT SHE SHIPS IT

“Behind my back, how could you? I’m disappointed in you too, Uraraka-san.”

OMG She Freaking Did it! The one thing that would’ve made S2 better would be if it ended with this getting animated (It came out in July 2017, there could’ve been time to sneak it in! Please let there be a filler void in S4 so it can finally be animated)

BEST GIRL OF THE EPISODE: No new best girls this ep. 

RANKER: Biggest Shock Moments in BNHA

5 “You got your quirk from All Might, didn’t you?” Episode 60

4 “Mirio has lost his quirk forever” Chapter 163

3 “Let’s have a chat, Izuku Midoriya?” Episode 38

2. “Tomura Shigaraki, my apprentice? He’s Nana Shimura’s Grandson.” Episode 49

1. “So you’re going to get...” Chapter 213, aka OFA 6Q.

[bitchassbucky]

II - Recuperate

Spurious Masterlist

Masterlist

As the car maneuvers through the traffic, you couldn’t help but put your head down by Bucky’s left shoulder, “holy fucking shit.” Three words to sum up the evening. You were tired, your feet hurt, you’re hungry. Every time you replay the moments you had with Steve, your heart flutters and your soul blossoms. He is a Sunday morning and you’re stuck in the middle of the week. 

Why him? 

Why him? 

Why is it still him?

“Y/N, what the fuck was that?” Bucky’s deep voice cuts through your thoughts. You lift your head up to face him, you had a sad look on your made-up face. He couldn’t help but search for any solid feelings in your eyes, he was just lost as you are. You know he wasn’t angry, he was just as tired as you.

“God, Buck. I don’t know.” You sighed, you shifted your look onto the streets you were passing, it was all a blur of people, stalls, and cars, all of them waiting to go home and rest. And then once again, your mind started to wander to the thought of Steve and how would it feel like to hold his warm hands.

“I know, it’s okay. Do you wanna get food before we go home?” He offers, hoping that you’d say yes. Bucky wanted you to have at least an hour of peace before you undoubtedly overanalyze everything that had happened tonight. For a measly hour, he hopes that maybe you can take your mind off of the man who haunted your thoughts every hour of the day.

“Yes. Okay, I’d like that.” You have long since stopped looking outside. It made you dizzy, maybe it was the fast pace of which the car was moving, or maybe the lights rapidly changing from neon to fluorescent. You once again laid your head against his shoulder.

“Okay,” Bucky said, not quite reaching you. 

The traffic had built up a mere three blocks away from your shared apartment. The driver let out an apologetic chuckle and something about a road block but you couldn’t careless. You were restless and you felt the need to keep moving. Just three cars ahead was a bodega you go to whenever the closest one at your street was closed.

“I’m just gonna get off here,” You said to the driver with a small smile. Beside you, Bucky was napping. He pulled a double shift at work so he can accompany you to the reunion party.

“Are you sure? We’re very near your place.” He tapped his phone which shows an angry red line, indicating a heavy traffic flow that ends after your block. 

“Yes, it’s okay,” You were searching your purse for a twenty bill when you hear the doors unlocking for you, “thank you.” You said as you give the driver the tip. He smiled and nodded in lieu of actually saying ‘you’re welcome.’

“What about your boyfriend, miss?” He casually mentioned Bucky beside you. Thank God, he sleeps like a log. His head is lazily lolled to the side as he breathes in and out, his hair covering half of his face.

“He’s not my- I’ll wake him up.” You started to protest but you were too tired and hungry to correct him. Bucky stirred from his short slumber, he looks around with his eyes half-closed.

“We’re still stuck in traffic, sorry.” The driver had answered Bucky’s question before he can even ask. 

You looked at Bucky and slightly tugged at his sleeve, “come on. There’s a bodega over there. We’re three blocks away, I think we can just walk.” 

“You sure? It’s pretty cold outside.” Bucky looks at you with sincerity. He has that kind of eyes that can make you feel like you’re home.

“Yeah, I have a jacket. Let’s go.” You insisted and Bucky, characteristically, goes with you.

“Thanks for the tip, you two have a good night. Stay safe.” The driver said as the two of you clamber out of his car, your dress not fitting for the season change. You took an inhale to calm your nerves but a symphony of unnatural odors wafted to your nose. Filthy fucking city.

“You too. Goodnight.” Bucky bid adieu to the driver as he closed the car door, momentarily joining you on the street.

The cool air made you wince despite telling Bucky that you have a jacket, you never liked the cold that much. It reminded you of the nights you spent writing anything and everything to distract you from your parent’s fight, it reminded you of the warmth that was never there in the first place.

“Let’s go, Y/N. I’m craving string cheese for some reason,” Bucky jokes in an attempt to lift up the atmosphere. He unceremoniously looks over you under the fluorescent of the shop you were passing by, you were physically with him but your mind is elsewhere, just as he was about to ask you if you were doing alright, you faced him.

“I’m craving string cheese too.”

2017

A fly has been buzzing around your head as you tried to coax words out of your mind and into the blank document you opened about 45 minutes ago. Your coffee, one sugar and cream, has gone cold and stale, leaving you with a sad excuse for caffeine, yet you continue to drink it as if it’s been brewed by a Norse god. You swatted at the stubborn fly again, mildly irritated at yourself for choosing to sit outside the cafe, you fell for the classic “fresh air” bullshit that was handwritten beautifully on a chalkboard just before the shop doors. 

You gazed inside the shop, hoping that some hipster would get on with their day so you could occupy their seat. As you look in, you caught a ghostly reflection of yourself. Clear enough to see the totality, but not enough to scrutinize. You look so... diligent for someone who’s about to be homeless in a week. 

Looking past your reflection and past the couple who’s obviously on their first date, you see someone leave their seat and took their laptop with them. And you did so. Tucking the lease papers in between the keyboard and the screen of your own laptop, you clapped it shut. You took the sad fucking coffee with you, wondering if they can heat it up. 

You were about to reach the plush seat situated comfortably against the wall when someone rushes into the seat three feet away from you.

“Really, dude?” Your voice dripped with annoyance. It was just 10 in the morning but you already felt like going for a nap.

The man in question looks up from his phone, meeting you with his blue eyes, he was classically handsome if he weren’t such an asshole, “I’m really sorry, I really just have to send this file over. I’ll be quick, I promise.” His fingers immediately go back to dancing on his cracked phone screen.

You sighed and resort yourself to the opposite of the chair he just stole from you. He reminded you of yourself when you were still in college, like him, you were always chasing after deadlines and exams. Those were the days when you convince yourself that you can survive with four hours of sleep in your system and do an extra shift at the library. Those were the days where you can look at the mirror and see a hopeful glimmer in your eyes.

You were stupidly naive, sure, but you were resilient. And it turns out, resiliency was the best thing you got out of college.

“One tall americano for James?” A barista called from behind the counter. The couch-stealer rose up from his (your?) seat and stalked off to the counter where his coffee order lies. So then you see he is stupid too, leaving his messenger bag open on top of the table you two were sharing. Which, if you look just under the flap, contains a binder and a laptop, which undoubtedly filled with thesis drafts and dissertation papers. But you’re not entirely sure, maybe he’s really a seat-stealer and he’s just making up an excuse.

The James guy returns to his unrightful seat, he looks at you and smiles, “thanks for looking after my things.”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t do that again if I were you.” You replied dryly. Your sad coffee cup still clutched in your hand, your laptop bag resting underneath the table with your jean-clad legs unconsciously slanted. There was something about him trusting you to look after his things, hell, if someone came by and snatched it from the table, you wouldn’t have the energy to give a chase.

“If you still think that I’m making up an excuse for stealing your spot that’s your prerogative, but I really did just sent my final thesis to my professor,” he dutifully explained, pulling his lips into a polite smile, “‘sides I’m just dying to finish my master’s before I go broke and homeless.”

You decided to concede and humor him, “in like..” you prompted him to go on, your hand still holding the wasted coffee.

“Less than three weeks.” He winced as he took a sip of his americano. Why does this coffee shop like to serve their coffee like it was fresh from Satan’s asshole?

“Do you wanna go apartment hunting with me?” You asked unabashedly. You were about to become homeless by this time next week, why not ask this soon-to-be-homeless-too stranger to go apartment hunting with you? After all, misery loves company.

“Okay, sure,” James said, this time he was smiling for real. He set his smoldering cup of lava down the table, and you did the same thing with your flat drink.

“I’m Y/N. My lease will be up next week, Tuesday, to be exact. You’re James, right?” You tilted your head to his direction, giving him a tight smile. 

“Call me Bucky. I’ll answer your next question, it was a stupid nickname back in high school and it stuck.” James, uh, Bucky explained as he held a hand up to defend his unique albeit strange nickname.

You found yourself in the middle of Greenwich Village apartments and brownstones that you could never afford in two lifetimes, “Bucky, what the fuck? We’re broke MFA students, why are we here?” You tapped his arm with the intent of showing your slight panic.

“Chill, doll. I know someone here.” Bucky said cooly, his long hair now in a low bun on his nape. Studying at NYU, he started out as an Animation major, working odd jobs here and there to survive college, now he’s about to graduate MFA in Game Design.

“Yeah?” You said with a tinge of hope, maybe that someone can give you an apartment without you and Bucky selling an arm, a leg, and maybe a few golden teeth.

“I got this,” Bucky said, sending you a sly wink in your direction. You smiled and hoped for the best. Fuck, he is cute as shit.

But he don’t got this, he didn’t got this. 

His friend had moved out a month ago to take care of her elderly mother, bless her heart. But you’re in a bigger clusterfuck now, both of your homelessness threatening your mind about moving back home.

Sitting on a bench that is visually clean, you scoured Craigslist for real estate. Not the safest option, but you are determined to find a decent apartment without giving up so much. Page after page of shitty and expensive housing, you managed to stumble upon a simple-looking, two-bedroom apartment in.. Flatbush. Commuting would be a nightmare but you aren’t really in the position to whine about that.

“Please tell me you didn’t find that in Craigslist.” Bucky pleaded jokingly, sidestepping a woman with a red coat before throwing away a balled-up piece of napkin in the nearest trash can.

You’re on your way to look at the apartment after sending a text to the landlord, asking if he’s available to meet and show you around the potential living space. After getting a confirmation text, you told Bucky about your find.

“We don’t have much choice here, buddy.” You truthfully said as the both of you walked towards the subway station. In reality, you just don’t want to go home feeling like you’ve wasted an entire day apartment hunting when you could have started writing something, or maybe calling your dad to tell him you’re moving back home and you’re gonna be selling cake pops from outside your window.

As the day ends, you and Bucky felt accomplished. Well, he’s still out with the jury. After sixty minutes of negotiation, you managed to convince the landlord to give you a discount for leasing the apartment for more than a year. The apartment itself isn’t that bad. There are windows facing the street, no visible infrastructure and plumbing damage, the floor is not sticky, and it doesn’t reek.

You both reached the point of lowering your apartment standards to “as long as we can deny the fact that this shithole is better than moving back home.”

“So..” You started, “I guess that makes us roommates now.” You chuckled at the thought of you hoping you could live alone in the middle of everyone raising rents.

“Roommates,” Bucky rubbed his chin as if in deep thought, “I like that.”

“Yeah, me too.” You confirmed.

Before parting ways, you both exchanged numbers and email addresses with the promise of him sending you a picture of his sister’s cat, Alpine. 

At the end of the day, you couldn’t help but genuinely smile at the stranger who stole your spot in that coffee shop.