#i need to just go for it....but its a lot of mental power to do more than wake up in the morning
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yall im almost filled my sketchbook, and this is gonna be the first time in a literal decade that ive done that my god.
Might post some pages from it once its done.. I feel like this is the first time ive really done a sketchbook "right." Before i always felt pressured to just fill it with finished pieces, but thats;; not really what a sketchbook is for. Its for practicing! Trying out things! Etc.! So with this sketchbook i gave myself a really hard challenge: draw almost entirely in pen. I always hate drawing with pens cuz, yknow. cant erase if you make mistakes. So whenever im inking something im a nervous wreck the entire time. but now i was gonna do *everything* in pen. All my mistakes with be left there, all guiding lines and such will show. And this was very hard to do at first, but now its really natural! I actually like doing it this way now, which is kinda crazy to say. And i've filled it with a variety of things! There's me practicing things, just drawing random characters, lots of pages of me playing around with character designs, many pages of animatic plans, and some that were literally just me smearing paint on the page to test the colors or how it behaved. I even have a few sticky notes in it, and ive taped a couple of things in! A while back i was trying out acrylics for the first time, so i ripped out a few pages to experiment with trying to fill the whole page with paint and see how the paper would fare. And they look atrocious, cuz i really didn't know how those paints worked, but hey! It was me trying things out! So despite me being slightly tempted to just throw them out, i actually taped them back in. And another time I didn't have my sketchbook with me when I was hit with inspiration for a character design, so i drew it on index cards and taped em in so all my design notes would be in one place. But more than one index card didn't really fit on the page, so i had to cut the others into weird pieces so they could fit. And these sorts of pages are my favorites! Its satisfying to flip thru my sketchbook and come across very different or "out of place" pages. Im hoping to do more stuff like that with the next one!
#josh talks#dang somehow i always surprise myself with how much i can yap about a simple subject that shouldve taken a few sentences#but yeah i wont be giving like a whole sketchbook tour cuz one that would take forever#and 2 my anxiety says no :(#some things im embarrassed about even tho nothing ive drawn is embarrassement worthy..#but since a large majority of the drawings were done in pen there are some especially messy pages#and like i have multiple animatics mapped out in this sketchbook. and for those i draw fast and small#all i need is to have something that will help me remember my idea#so a lot of them look extremely ugly and strange#which!! shouldnt be an issue!! i shouldnt be embarrassed!! but brain says no :(#im already gonna show some pages im a little anxious about so im not gonna push too hard into facing my fears territory#theres a time and place for that and ive decided to save my mental power for another battle#but thankfully im mostly excited to show them off!#maybe yall will find it interesting.. cuz since i cant erase anything you can see all the guiding lines and like#character âskeletonsâ for posing n such#i think i use a sort of âskeletonâ method that ive seen people say NOT to do lmao#just goes to show that sometimes u can ignore art advice#i mean maybe a different method would lead to better art somehow#but eh im happy with how my drawings have been going for years with this method#maybe it could be better but its still good this way <3
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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
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i need weed. i need a medical card so bad or im gonna go out of my fuckign GOURD
#speak friend and enter#let me preface this by saying that im doing everything in my power to not let mental illness wipe its greasy hands on me#however. im insane in the membrane and i can feel myself slipping back into lunatic mode#i have to go for an mri next week and i genuinely don't know if i can do it. i am so fucking terrified you have no idea#i'll spare y'all the grisly details but i was chronically ill as a kid (and not just like sick a lot it was touch and go there for a bit)#and as a result of certain procedures i had to undergo to abate the aforementioned chronic illness#i developed ptsd that manifests as an irrational but obscenely debilitating fear of hospitals#like i can't go in a hospital without having a psychotic episode. like clinically i just can't do it#but as part of my yearly post-whatever care i have to get imaging done and this year that entails an mri and. im just scared#i spent a significant portion of my time immediately post ptsd symptom presentation believing that my doctors were trying to kill me#like for sport. like i thought there was some larger deep state esque plan in place to enact further medical barbarism upon me for giggles#and obviously you and i both know that's a delusion with no basis in reality but that doesn't mean i can stop myself from believing it.#it's like a word-of-god thing. i know logically that it's not true but there's a voice in my head screaming 'they want to flay you alive'#and i am currently between therapists and also unmedicated bc my last therapist was too focused on inner child work#to give me the prozac and weed card i really need#like that's great that you think healing my inner child will solve this but my inner child is covered in her own viscera. can we pivot mayb#but anyway for the moment im just wallowing in my own fear and im doubly scared bc im finding myself falling into rabbit holes again#like empirically the worst thing that's gonna happen as a result of this mri is that they're gonna say i have to have another surgery#and the technology has advanced to a point where its way less invasive than what ive had previously#but the constant dull roar of my thoughts about the whole deal is just. increasingly delusional nonsense#and not to be overly morbid or anything but i decided a long time ago that if i ever had to be admitted to the hospital again i would rathe#well you know. and i don't wanna die. honestly i don't. but the idea of wading through that particular brand of hell again is torture#and im not gonna kill myself. im not. ive been working on that impulse for a long time and i don't want to undo all of that work#but im scared and i dont wanna spend the rest of my life in n out of the hospital or as a substance-abusing recluse. is that so much to ask#i want to fix this. i do. i don't wanna live in a hole anymore as fantastic mr fox would say. but the horrors persist#and i often find myself increasingly unable to cope. hence why i need the weed#anyway i'll be fine. eventually. i hope. but in the meantime i do want to say i appreciate you all. i mean it#i tend to regard myself (fairly or otherwise) as difficult to get along with in real life so despite the fact that i don't talk w y'all muc#i do appreciate y'all being there and making me feel like more of a person than i feel like i am lately <3
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SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
#i was like huh whats that noise. bc i can normally NEVER hear anything over my headphones but it was the rain fucking shattering it down#my bed is WET the window was only open a few inches đ#anyway had no signal at work again today smfh. but at least they let me on the bus free on the way there this morning#still a bit wobbly im in the baby deer phase of post major depressive episode#roommate asked how i was doing when she got home and i very very nearly started crying but i didnt i was so brave#my insane insecurity and anger swings post rsd episode have mostly faded too thank fuck. only took 4 days which is pretty good for me#but im still so so tired it takes everything out of me...#when im recovered + can talk abt it without making myself upset again im promising myself i will talk to her abt the rsd if nothing else#but i really really dont want to make her feel bad abt it at all its genuinely not anyones fault. but its important to me that i say smth#just so we can avoid it happening again where possible bc it does really suck so bad. for everyone im sure but mostly me here#and i would like to be able to care abt ppl and have close friends without risking my entire mental (+ physical..) wellbeing đ#i think if im still struggling w mood once my meds stabilise i might ask if there are options to help w that too#like i think ive gone as far as i can w therapeutic techniques rn. its just too overwhelmingly intense and reflexive for me to apply that#and i dont feel like i live my life around it or in fear of it anymore like generally i have been a lot better#but when im vulnerable and it DOES strike i have no defense against it whatsoever and it can tank everything for weeks#its just high stakes. and it'll help to make sure ppl know abt it and might be able to support etc but it would be nice to never worry abt#so worth trying meds for it maybe. i just dont rly wanna have the conversations w medical ppl in order to get it in the first place#like i wouldnt feel safe telling a doctor abt it bc the idea of someone with that authority having power over me is terrifying#ah well this isnt a problem for right now. plus stimulants might help me w it anyway once im finished titrating so we'll see#got so distracted typing this i forgot what i was gonna do.... i need to check my planner#and then ill probably read and go to sleep early i think zzzzz#ahhh.. and the birds are singing outside now the rain has stopped :-)#.diaries
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"But don't let its beauty fool you. This plant can be processed into a powerful neurotoxin which can cause near permanent madness unless treated!"
Professor Calculus, upon developing a state-of-the-art automated hydroponics and pesticides delivery system, has been invited to judge a prestigious international flower show at the largest botanical garden in Belgium.
Botany experts and amateurs from around the world attend - Professor Zalamea is there to showcase his bizarre genetically modified bioluminescent blue oranges, Nash is displaying some of his explorations into living sculpture, and Castafiore is geared up to perform in the evening. Most controversially of all, Professor Fang Hsi Ying, a world leading expert on mental health, is showcasing his research on the Rajaijah plant, a plant historically used to produce madness poison.
It's this exhibit that causes a stir at the event. Security is on high alert. After the poison was used a few years ago in several high profile drug smuggling cases that were embroiled in politics, the plant is anticipated to be a subject of fear and Orientalism. Protestors calling for its destruction flock the event, and there are rumours of a plot to steal the rare plant. The organisers hope that the controversy will generate ticket sales and revenue.
Tintin and Chang are there to report on the goings on, having just confessed their feelings for each other. They're not sure what they are just yet - but even without a madness poison, Tintin's head is in a spin!
I had the idea to bring back Rajaijah juice for some time and was intially going to set it at a garden party, but I received this message from anon some time ago:
And I just loved the Drama of a botanical garden a whole lot more!
Because of the time it takes for me to make stuff and the planning that goes into my posts I do take a very long time to respond to messages, and sometimes multiple people send similar messages anticipating stuff I already have planned, so if I come across as standoffish I apologise, I just have a lot on my plate (by my own design tbh)!
I love every message I receive, I started this blog intending to respond to every message but that's becoming unrealistic ;_; I keep your messages to read back whenever I need motivation, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you if you've sent me an ask!
#tintin#adventures of tintin#animation#2d animation#snowy#milou#captain haddock#archibald haddock#ramo nash#professor calculus#cuthbert calculus#castafiore#bianca castafiore#chang#fang hsi ying#gifset#my stories#gif#the house of glass#fanart#botany#botanic garden#greenhouse#tinchang#long post
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Synastry Observation đŻïž
Please don't take this as astrological facts. These are more my experience and perspective. The whole chart and aspects must also be considered.
đ„ As much as I love a good moon in the 11th, I do recall every person showing some sort of over interest in my longterm goals and who I am friends with. It kinds gives they feel some type of way about the friends you make or can get very personally offended by the way you go after your goals and even the community youâre in. Of course more with affliction and squares to your eighth.
đ„ I always recommend if looking into synastry for families/generational curses/childhood trauma/familial bonds to look at their Lilith energy between each other. My family member who birthed me has their Lilith retrin my 12th house. I always think they are trying to have power over me subconsciously or questioning my mental health (12 house). Over all a hidden opp at times but very dedicated and nosey on what plans or how to crack your code.
đ„ Saturn in the 8th house is oppressive in synastry in many ways if not balanced. I find these individuals are pocketwatchers to your debt towards them even when they give it comes with some resentment.
đ„ Yes that mans venus is touching exactly on your mars, I think your attracted and may want to you know. Yes your venus is touching their mars ⊠yes they want you or maybe they have thought about it. In context to most sexual and relationship area this aspect creates the right tension. It is not as direct as mars wanting you in the first house it is a take you out to dinner first kind of fuck you.
đ„ Mars in the 1st house either wants to fuck you, compete with you or argue, fight with you or just all of the above. At some point đ€·đŸââïž to some degree maybe so.
đ„ Uranus in the 9th may feel estranged to your dreams/goals/ideologies. They may come from a different religion that may demonize or judge your beliefs. They feel your way of life is a revolution to their own. It either tears you down or feels welcomed by its difference.
đ„ If your parent has their neptune in your 10th house of Career/Legacy/Who your parents want you to be/Your social status...I do feel for the way they project and want to control you. Very controlling of the narrative of who you want to be. They project their own failures and need to do what they never got to do. Then they hold you to a lot of standards to make sure you turn out the way they want. They want you to live the life they projected onto you at birth or really young. Weird effect of Neptune/Afflicted Neptune/Capricorn Neptune in Saturnâs House
đ„ 10th house synastry is superficial. If I were to say anything else. No matter the placement, they all manifest this differently but in the same energy. If someone is falling on top of your tenth house make sure your relationship isn't based on appearance or the "idea" of you and what you bring into their status (life).
đ„ As much as that Moon/Mars is gonna draw you is as much as itâs gonna fuck you over....you will be annoyed by what drew you in đŹ. With this synastry are you ready to be madly in love on the plight than the mars actions that disrupt or activate the hidden emotional world of the moon, make you think your not đ. if you donât really want to feel that feeling, tension and resistance even though this is someone you want I recommend taking that shit slow please.
đ„ See my problem with 8th house energy is its attention. Your sexual partners mars or moon falling in your 8th can really make them want you in that way but itâs the house of debt and others peoples money itâs inherently shadow like and has a touch of mystery. Like stop making secret passes at that lady in the dark or giving the eyes. Stop taking someone out to eat and taking them back to your place. Stop not ignoring the urge to touchâŠ.and touchâŠand touch all the time. Being so goddamn intimate. Yes that shit can turn really ugly really quick. And your not gonna âdieâ per say from synastry like this in the house of death but when they leave or if they hurt you itâs gonna hurt just as much as it felt good in the moment. You might feel like a part if you is actually dying. But yâall stay safe out there đ.
đ„ Jupiter in your 7th house you sayâŠwell I SAY you want that man to be your husband, that woman to be your wife, their soul to be your equal, you want that partner title with them because they fit into your world and they elevate in the way you dream. Maybe they are your dream but I think you like em a bit to much, Jupiter is an abundance is it not, for better or for worse.
Â©ïž All rights reserved melaninfury
#astrology#astro community#divination#synastry#spirituality#astro notes#advanced astrology#jupiter#7th house#astrology notes#astro observations#astrology readings#AstroSpiritual#melaninfury#astroblr#astrology observations#astrology opinions#spiritual#8th house#venus synastry#mars synastry#Jupiter in the 7th#Jupiter synastry#saturn#Saturn synastry#astro placements
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PAC: Random Messages for You
Hi friends! Thought Iâd do something tarot related instead of astrology today. Do enjoy and let me know your feedback down below! <: it means a lot to me and this blog.
Pile 1: Hi there pile 1! You may be experiencing a disconnect within your home life, or not even that but a disconnect to spirituality. There may be a lot of shifts and changes happening in your life at the moment, and it feels as though thereâs a lot of tension within you. Iâm seeing a box and it keeps folding in on itself, imploding not exploding. All that tension is really sitting within you. I encourage some (I heard bath therapy) so maybe some of you like to take baths with herbs, crystals, and candles. Do that! There may be some uninvited energy around you at the moment. Also some of you need sleep. Rest. Stay off the phone before bedtime, and if you can, meditate! Meditation can look different, for some its sitting in nature, going on a walk, or laying there. Thereâs a really huge shift hereâI donât think you expected this ending to have happened either with someone you loved or this disconnect either spirituality. I almost feel as if thereâs this longing, but also hopeless feeling of: âwhy? Spirit? Why me?â And I heard: it matters where you are. So, if youâre in an environment where there are people taking advantage of you how can you set boundaries? What do you need? How can you make this process easier for you? Itâs likely these people or this place is contributing to your issues at the moment. I also believe spirit wants to let you know that they hear you and are there for you <3 âit matters where you are,â they know, theyâve heard your prayers. If you need confirmation this is it. Journaling can help a ton, thereâs a lot of mental energy but in the sense that its squashed. Normally you feel pretty upbeat but it almost feels as if thereâs defeat and its a little too silent with all the things you wish to say. Express yourself. Cry it out. I also heard hug it out! So hug it out if you can with a friend, hugging yourself, or hugging a stuffed animal. Yoga may be great for releasing trapped emotions in the body too. I hope you feel better pile 1 <3 thank you for your support and being here.
Pile 2: Hi there pile 2! Welcome! For you I feel as though thereâs a lot of green energy around you at the moment. It surrounds you like a garden! I can see your aura with vines, curling up to protect your space and flowers blooming all around. So beautiful! Im also hearing it took a long time to tend to this garden, so you really did take a lot of time to focus on your confidence, healing and transformation. Im also seeing a mermaid emerge from the sea and sheâs by the moon. She looks carefree! Thatâs you. I feel as though youâre learning to vibe with being alone and being okay with being single, although you donât necessarily have to be. You may be in a position of power in your career now or in the future will be. Im seeing someone grab a book and write down all their ideas and goalsâwith this determination in mind to make it happen! You may be a fixed sign or have multiple (Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, Taurus) and suddenly it manifests. This is the kind of success youâve been building up towards. I also heard this is the success where I feel at peace within myself. Its not necessarily about external factors (although it could be like owning a houseâI heard that) its more so the peace that comes with trusting yourself now after all these years. I also see your third eye is open which is revealing to you things that were hidden before. Hidden knowledge. Im seeing spirit is giving you these messages as if its sacredâyouâre drinking out of a golden goblet and its this magical juice lmao. Some of yaâll have very imaginative inner childs and love to concoct stories, so maybe your inner child is out and about! I legit see your inner child dressed like a diva with their sunglasses, sparkly pink kitten heels to slay the day away! So cute. I just feel you have mended that relationship sincerely. You could be a: pisces, pisces 5h/1h, aries, leo, sag, cancer placements. I also see this is an important time for harvesting results. I heard: there is result beyond fear. There is relief beyond fear. On the other side of fear there is joy. So perhaps this has been a mantra for you. I see EFT tapping therapy, so maybe some of you engaged in this. I see breath work, learning to work with your energy. I heard kundalini as well! So some of you may certainly be focused on spirituality and practices. Your inner child is so importantâliterally hearing their words of awe at the world. Your encouragement means so much to them right now, itâs as if theyâre allowing themselves to express themselves again! Thanks pile 2 for being here <3 means a lot to me!
Pile 3: Hey yaâll itâs 10:10 as I write this so thereâs a strong presence of spiritual support! Love that. You guys might be a virgo rising, have virgo placements, virgo 2h, or strong mercurial aspects. An exalted mercury even! I see that for you guys thereâs this hazy thick fog. It feels as though your energy is very much guarded and anyone who tries to come in is maybe hit with a wave of confusion. Kind of like theyâre stunned. Its kind of cartoonish, and silly. But I see this as a protective mechanism! You guys have been focused on getting your life together especially your finances. You could be budgeting more, spending less, and overall grinding. Keep it on the low and hustling. I also lots of self care so maybe youâve switched your routine, youâre getting your hair done, nails, lashes, etc. You want to feel your best self and Im literally seeing your spirit team cheer and fist bump. Its like theyâve been wanting you to love yourself andââfinally you got the message,â is what I heard đ Iâm also hearing âpump it up,â I know its a song, its pop music, really catchy. Thereâs a lot of happy bright energy surrounding you and I think youâre really feeling yourself. And I think that anyone who tries to disturb your peace I literally see you putting on sunglasses to act like they donât exist. I feel like you guys are also really funny which people donât expectâyou have a very dry humor and might be great and stand up comedy. I also feel your phone is filled with a bunch of memes to go on the daily. Itâs on butt dial at this point. I feel as though you appear intimidating but youâre really funny, chill, and grounded. You may have taurus/Capricorn placements as well. Lots of earth! Maybe all your big 3 is earth. I feel as though youâre being told to enjoy yourself and have fun! Let loose and chuck the ruled aside momentarily. It wouldnât hurt to let go. I think for so long youâve been hustling and grindingâso its time to celebrate how far you came! You may attracting suitors or attention is what I heard lol, lots of eyes on you! Especially through this transformation. I see you going from alone to suddenly everyone is around you. So maybe youâre graduating, getting that promotion, itâs your birthday, or thereâs an event coming up! This is really going to help you feel your best self <3 Im also hearing euro pop music, so maybe yaâll are into that. And dream of euro pop blasting in clubs (bring back this era) I dont know if you know Inna and her music. âHotâ by inna is playing! But thanks pile 3 for being here! Sincerely appreciate it all. Your feedback means a lot to me.
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#asks#astrology community#devi post#astrology#tarotcommunity#divination#tarot deck#tarot#witchcraft#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a card romance#pick a picture#pick a card#pick one#astrology notes#astro notes#esoteric astrology#astro#18+ astrology#astro observations#astrology post
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I am literally having the worst day ever, do you think you could write some insanely fluffy Dream for me? I'm talking tooth rotting levels of fluff here.
Rest Now, Wife, Mine
Dream of the Endless x f!Reader
Note: Hi anon! Thanks a ton for the adorable request, I had a lot of fun with it and really hope it helps make your day feel a bit better <3
Synopsis: Morpheus' wife finds their bed far too lonely without him in it, and seeks out his presence to remedy this so she may finally succumb to slumber for the evening.
Thankfully, he is all too happy to oblige.
Warnings: None! Just pure and unbridled fluff :)
Word Count: 1,298
Her steps are silent and her pace slow as she approaches the familiar throne room, sensing even from outside of its walls that it is as close to empty as it is going to get for the evening.
That said, as close to empty as possible for the throne room of an Endless such as Dream was not nearly as empty as one might think, with it being a rarity that he not be found there.
She fights back a shiver as she steps across the threshold, her bare feet suddenly far colder than before, and her majority uncovered shoulders beginning to undergo horripilation at the seemingly inexplicable shift in temperature.
That said, being easy to explain was not a rule that the Dreaming followed, so this was nothing new, and certainly nothing unexpected.
Though, the sudden voice that split the once heavy silence in twain on the other hand, was.
"And what could possibly have you awake at such an hour, dear wife?"
The voice asked quietly, laced with both amusement and even a twinge of concern that had the wife in question smiling softly in spite of her best efforts to not appear excited at the mere sound of her love's voice.
Oh, but she had never been that strong, had she?
He had her wrapped around his finger just as he did the entire realm that he ruled, though he notably reserved the one with the ring for her and her alone.
She padded up toward his throne quietly, not willing to answer his question until she was close enough that her voice might not reverberate so loudly off of the palace walls.
Some words, she had decided long ago, were for her husband and her husband alone.
Upon her eager approach, the Lord of Dreams could not help but raise one of the corners of his mouth at the mere sight of her, holding his hand out at her nearness to guide her to stand before his crossed legs as he reached gently to take her other in his own as well, making a mental note of how chilled her extremities felt due to the cool night air of his throne room.
He watched as she slackened slightly at his familiar touch, her body always so happy to find him near in a way never ceased to have his heart all but melting at her feet.
What a disastrous little thing she was, truly.
He could never love another.
As her form relaxed at the feeling of his hands on hers, so loving in spite of the power that they held, she could not help but yawn softly, eyes growing teary as her ease allowed the weight of the day to truly set in.
Her dearest Dream Lord smirked up at her, his brow raised knowingly and his eyes twinkling as he watched her fight off the eternally tempting wiles of sleep.
What a sweet little thing, so helpless in her battles against her own biology that it was entirely too amusing to ignore, and always far too entertaining to neglect to bear witness to.
"You are tired, my dear."
The Lord of Dreams stated matter of factly, tugging his beloved closer using his soft grip on her hands so he could properly brush some of her hair behind her ear, a gesture which caused her eyelids to flutter closed briefly before they snapped open once more, her fight against herself not yet over in her eyes (though Dream could see clearly in the way that she swayed on her own two feet that there was already an obvious victor).
He chuckled quietly, shaking his head,
"You need to rest, sweet stardust. Let me bring you back to the bedroom."
He spoke gently, rising to guide her back to their soft and familiar bed only to halt when he heard her reply.
"No, I don't want to go back, you're just going to leave once you think I'm tired enough not to follow."
The Dream Lord faltered upon hearing this, raising a questioning brow in response before lowering himself down upon his throne once more, though this time he pulled his wife right along with him, sitting her on his lap in order to get a better look at her exhausted expression.
He frowned.
"Have you been staying awake on purpose, my love? Lying in wait for me as you promised you would not do?"
She shook her head, but he could see the way that the blood rushed into her cheeks as she tried to explain, embarrassed to admit the things that she had to in order to quell his worries of any intentional harm having been done.
"No, of course not, I just..."
The Lord of Dreams hummed and brought one hand to her back, rubbing up and down along her spine and feeling her lean against him unintentionally in response, her bones heavy and all too prepared to sink into whatever comfort they could find.
"You just what, dearest?"
He urged, causing his lover to nod blearily in response, slowly coming back to reality again.
"I just find that sometimes I cannot bear to sleep alone, that the bed feels far too wide and empty without you in it."
Dream fought back a slight smile upon hearing this, feeling more than a little bit proud to know that his wife could rely upon him enough to truly need him so (though he was notably unhappy to hear that this was causing her any amount of unnecessary strife).
"And is tonight one of those nights, beloved?"
He asked, watching as she nodded, her head lolling slightly upon her neck as her overworked muscles struggled to remain in control over her all too tired body and mind.
"Poor thing,"
Dream all but purred in response, adjusting his love upon his lap until she was leaning against him, breaths warm on his neck and body seeming to grow heavier by the second as the feeling of his familiar closeness drove her into a type of ease that was felt only at a lover's closeness.
"That will certainly have to be remedied, won't it?"
He murmured against her ear, feeling her shiver in response, nuzzling closer with a nod as he gathered his coat that had been hanging on the back of the dais behind him with just one hand, draping it over her body and pressing a soft kiss against her head as he felt her begin to drift off into a much needed and far too well deserved slumber.
"Rest now, wife, mine."
He said softly, feeling his dearest love smile gently against his skin at his familiar words and the use of his favorite (and almost sickeningly sweet) nickname for her,
"I will see to it that no one interrupts you as you do."
If she had been more awake, perhaps the woman would have rolled her eyes or even offered a sarcastic retort in response to her husband's dramatics, but instead she simply nudged herself closer, pressing a gentle kiss against the pale flesh of his neck before she drifted off for the very first time that night, feeling truly safe in the arms of her most adoring love.
And when morning arrived, and the throne room became far less uninhabited, the two of them made for quite a sight, indeed.
After all, who would have thought that the Lord of Dreams might choose to sleep simply to live life as his dear wife did, his cheek pressed gently against her head and his arms wrapped around her as slumber found them both, pulling them closer together, ever still, in the very same way that they belonged now, and always would for the remainder of eternity, and perhaps even beyond that.
ao3 link
#morpheus x reader#the sandman x reader#dream x reader#dream the endless x reader#morpheus x y/n#sandman x reader#the sandman x you#dream x y/n#dream of the endless x reader#dream of the endless fic#the sandman fanfic#morpheus x you#morpheus x f!reader#sandman x female reader#dream x fem!reader#the sandman fic#morpheus fanfiction#morpheus fic#morpheus x wife#the sandman fluff
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Pick A Card Reading: Your 2025
Pile 1
Temperance, 8 Of Cups, The World
Where your energy flows is what you will be manifesting. You don't need to start the year over-the-top, making lists of goals and going to the gym 7 days per week. Do not go crazy at the start of the year just to give up. Everything in moderation. Let yourself align with your goals naturally. Do you want to walk 10k steps per day? Start walking for 15 minutes a day and slowly build up to it. This is the year you are choosing yourself. No tears left to cry.
Eyes on the prize! But, do NOT overdo it or it will backfire. I know that those bad feelings are what's pushing you to change directions. I want you to know that negative feelings can be alchemized to positive results. We can create our best art while being in our worst space mentally and emotionally. But, we have to remember that we can't hate ourselves to our best self.
What gets you through the door doesn't take you up the stairs. Realign when necessary.
So, in 2025 you will be ascending to a higher plane of consciousness. You will cross the threshold that takes you to the next level. You will be doing the same things and going through the same things but your mindset will be completely different.
I feel that you have a talent for motivating others. Try to preoccupy yourself with that and in that way you will also see that a fire burns within you. You don't know how many people you have touched with your "testimony".
Let your fire warm others up. 2025 will be the year you wrap things up. I know that you didn't get the closure that you expected to get, but I want you to know that sometimes we can give that closure to ourselves. We deserve to let that book come to an end so we can begin to write a new one. Happy new year <3
Pile 2
The Magician, Knight Of Wands, The Lovers
I sense that many people will be choosing this pile or reading it as a second pile, as its themes transcend the norm and will "quench the thirst" of those of you who are looking for an inspiring and empowering message.
As I was shuffling, two other cards fell out, while the energy was "shakey"-- the Ace Of Wands and the 3 Of Wands. I believe that these two cards symbolize the place you are at right now. In 2024 you set the right foundations for a powerful 2025. You've done lots of inner work and experimented with your ideas and techniques of manifestation. You were inspired and trying to do the best you could ahve done with what you had. Still, you felt like zero opportunities presented themselves to you, or whatever came up you did not like or it didn't align with your goals and vision for the future.
You were right! Those were "tests" from the Universe/God that helped you come into alignment. In 2024 you saw what you didn't want and in 2025 you will be sharpening your intellect and powers of manifestation qand that will lead you to manifesting what truly aligns with your spirit.
Lots of wands, the energy is already hot and steamy and now we have The Magician! Mercurial energy, same as The Lovers which we'll be looking at later on... In 2025 you will recognize your power. Scratch that! 2024 already helped you see what you're capable of. You hit some milestones and tasted success, as small as it was and now you are addicted to the rush of conquering. This will NOT stop in 2025, in fact the fire will burn brighter and in an engulfing way. You will stop at NOTHING to get where you need to get. This is not a want but a NEED. It's okay if you overdo it, as you have spend many years playing small.
The cub has now grown into a young lion. Still finding your footing, with immense strength and potential at heart. Important thing to remember: align your intentions with your actions, where your energy flows-manifestations appear. You have realized that your thoughts and mental patterns are powerful, both when it comes to good and bad outcomes. Focus on the positive. Focus on abundance, manifestation, feeling good. Do things that make you feel powerful. In fact, call back your power. Stay mindful of your ability to manifest outcomes and take RESPONSIBILITY. Recognize that you are THE creator of your life. God brought you here in his image, to realize your potential. You will take the reigns. God gives you what you ask him to give you. So, ask wisely!
The Knight Of Wands reminds us to come in with full force. BAM! That's the mindset you should be going into this year with. You have made yourself a magnet, take advantage of that! Balance that drive with intentionality. Every action taken should have a purpose. Do not waste your energy and strength. Power doesn't come from force. The more powerful you are the less force you need to use. Weaklings waste their energy, trying to keep up with the powerful, don't do that. Conserve your power and control your temper. Be disciplined and inspired. Mastery takes time and you will reach your highest potential at some point.
The Lovers showing up after the Knight Of Wands bring two messages to you. One, it could be that a Knight Of Wands figure enters your life and your relationship will evolve to a true partnership as time unfolds and two, as a bearer of advice: Be mindful of the choices you make. They will have ripple effects. Seek relationships and partnerships that resonate with your values, and donât settle for less than you deserve. I'm seeing passion and potential to build something significant. This also speaks of vulnerability and the choice to keep your heart open for love. It is your choice. You CAN manifest love. The power lies in your fingertips.
Have a blessed 2025! As, I'm sure that you will <3
Pile 3
The Hermit, 3 Of Cups, 2 Of Swords
The last couple months you've been feeling isolated. Friendships have fallen away, but, at the same time, the fog has cleared up.
Now I see.
Your intuition will guide you home. It is the lantern that will illuminate the way back to your soul. In 2025 you will no longer feel lonely. You will realize that true friendship is loyalty and mutual feelings. It is not toxicity, back-handed compliments and unspoken words. You deserve to find your soul family and in order for this to happen you need to let your inner light guide you towards a different path, a path of self-reflection, inner strength and self-compassion.
Self-compassion happens when you let your own self become the compass. Trust yourself. Cultivate self trust. That's the most important thing.
You will be looking at things from a higher perspective and it will allow you to make better decisions, informed by logic. Should you explain to that friend again that you don't like arguing about the same old things? No. Should you give that guy who cheated on you a second chance. Definitely no. This is the level of cold you will reach.
I hope this year brings you closer to yourself and further away from what doesn't serve your best interest.
#level up journey#pick a card#pac reading#pick a pile#tarot reading#pick a photo#pick a picture#astrology#tarot#soulmate
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Kaiser, how we know him in the manga, absolutely does not know how to love and would never end up in a relationship or at least, a healthy one, so, I'll write here one of my most important works (that I'll probably refer to in a lot of my future writings), helping you guys understanding what I think is the most realistic way he could love anyone.
â
TW : mentions of mental abuse, depression.
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1k words
⟠You absolutely fell in love first and stayed even after seeing him fail and witnessing the worst sides of him with your own eyes.
⟠Kaiser would eventually notice something special in you, something he didnât see at first. As time passed, he couldnât help being drawn to you because you saw through his facadeâthe ego, the arroganceâand treated him with both blunt honesty and quiet compassion.
⟠He desired you, though not in a romantic way at first. To him, you were someone he needed around, someone he didnât want anyone else to have, almost as if you were an object to be kept.
⟠One day, you found enough courage to confess your feelings to him. To Kaiser, it was an opportunity to keep you tethered to him, to have control over you. He accepted, assuming you were the type to be so stupidly in love that youâd let anything slideâand you did.
⟠Even then, he tried to âloveâ you, though selfishly. He didnât want you to leave, even if he didnât truly know how to put you first or care for you in a way that wasnât about his own gratification.
⟠You stayed because you saw glimpses of the person he could be, because you believed he deserved to be loved, and because you were far too attached to walk away.
⟠Over the years, however, the emotional weight of loving someone so brokenâsomeone who was unwilling to change no matter how many arguments or breaks you enduredâbegan to take its toll. His jealousy, his possessiveness, and his inability to communicate left you exhausted.
⟠âWhy do you always forgive me, even when I donât deserve it?â he asked one night, his frustration laced with disbelief. He thought you might have finally given up on him. You just smiled sadly and replied, âBecause someone has to.â
⟠Eventually, your love alone wasnât enough to hold you together. You leftânot out of anger, but out of self-preservation. You were on the brink of losing yourself entirely.
⟠At first, Kaiser wasnât overly concerned and was mostly in denial. He convinced himself youâd come back, just as you always had. When hours turned into days, he believed you felt the same need for him as he did for you. But as the days turned into weeks, the silence began to gnaw at him.
⟠He spiraled, masking his pain with his usual bravadoâif not more exaggerated than ever. Yet when he was alone, he was consumed by thoughts of you being with someone else. The idea drove him mad, and for the first time, he felt true, raw heartbreak. He realized your leaving wasnât an act of abandonment but a final act of loveâgiving him what he thought he wanted most from you towards the end: freedom.
⟠Kaiser wasnât used to losing or feeling such despair paired with a complete loss of control. Refusing to accept the end, he did everything in his power to win you backâgrand gestures, heartfelt confessions, and promises heâd never made to anyone before.
⟠Of course, you were deeply hurt and hesitant. âWords donât mean much, Kaiser. You need to show me,â you said firmly.
⟠He offered you everythingâluxury, security, anything money could buyâbut you demanded something far more valuable: his willingness to change.
⟠One of your conditions for reconciliation was therapy, something Kaiser initially scoffed at. âYou think talking to some stranger is going to fix me?â he said, incredulous, thinking he knew everything about psychology already.
⟠But he agreed, not just out of desperation but also because when he saw your tearful, pleading eyes filled with hope that this time it could change, he couldnât refuse. For the first time, he understood that this was something he had to doânot even for you, but for himself.
⟠The sessions were slow and grueling, forcing him to confront parts of himself heâd buried for yearsâhis insecurities, his fears, and his warped view of love.
⟠Over time, after almost two years, he began to heal. He learned to express his feelings in healthier ways, to apologize without deflecting, and to listen instead of always trying to be right. Winning you back wasnât a quick process. It took years of effort, of proving he had changedânot just for you, but for himself.
⟠During this time, you were together but not entirely as close as most couples might be. You still needed proof that he had truly changed, even though you frequently told him, âIâm proud of you.â
⟠When you finally accepted him again, it was under the condition that he continued to grow. This time, he was willing to meet you halfway and love you in a way that didnât destroy you. âYou stayed when I didnât deserve it,â he said one night. âNow itâs my turn to stay, no matter how long it takes to make things right.â
⟠You were the first personâthe only personâwho cared for him so deeply, who showed him what selfless, innocent, and unconditional love looked like.
⟠And, in turn, Kaiser became someone capable of deep, selfless love himself. He cherished you not as a possession but as an equal partner.
⟠The scars of your past together never fully faded, but they served as reminders of how far you had come. âYou taught me how to love,â he told you one day, his voice softer than youâd ever heard it. âAnd Iâll spend the rest of my life proving I deserve it.â
⟠For the first time, he said the words he never thought he could mean, the words he never expected to truly feel: âI love you.â
MK:"Someone beautiful, smart, and full of love."
#michael kaiser#blue lock#michael kaiser x you#michael kaiser x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x reader#bllk kaiser#bllk x reader#gender neutral reader#michael kaiser angst#blue lock angst
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PAC 18+: How they view you and their Sexual Thoughts
Random pictures, no theme. choose what your intuition guides you to do. We will cover, How do the person on your mind view you as a person generally & sexuality wise. Also their sexual thoughts about you.
Pile One:
Pulling your tarot first, I got the star, 8 of cups, 10 of swords, and 5 of swords. Which is ironic for the most emo picture pile lol. This is for how they view you. you might have a fear of abandonment, you might get played, led on, bad luck, loss hopes. Be Down all the time, pessimistic perspective or experiences. Playing the victim, being the victim of life. Someone that had bad mental health, and may have avoidant attachment, where you could up and leave, detached. Definitely looks at you as someone who either comes and goes with them or life in general, every card except 8 of cups which is the pirate, and one that leaves has wings on it. Been through a lot and trying to fill a void, or some type of happiness, achievement. Being hopeful, and faithful. Someone always trying to find better for themself even when down.
Pulling oracle, I got Self Assurance(Sacral Chakra) and Pele (Solar Plexus). Orange and yellow aura. Purple and blue can also be significant in someone style or favorite color. This self assurance card, she has a hoodie on with black eyeliner, bangs, while pele raises up the moon coming up from a volcano, bursting into this yellow atmosphere. You are an individual to this person. Comfortable in your skin, connected with yourself. Confident, Passionate and Desire, Powerful and Transformative. Authentic, Assured. Firey. Could be fun, intense, loud, definitely bold in some way. Creative energy, artistic, musical. Sexually open, liberated, free?
They view you sexually as someone who may have worth, be of high value of someway, and them being a spark like a passionate, sexual, firey, dominant man. Or they view this as your sexuality, and sexual dynamic you may like. Fun and free, but stable and committed. They see you as probably submissive, someone who likes to serve and give yourself. Someone who is maybe a quiet freak, runaway and have sex, need for privacy. Probably like to go on vacations, do it in the car, travel for sex. Maybe into candles, or dimmed lights, or lights. Someone who may overcame a lot in hookup culture, don't have to be a hoe, but learned a lot. have a different perspective on sex. Omg, for the pile two picture to be a living room, i am channeling living room flow by jhene aiko for this pile. lol. "its whatever you want, i want to please you most, whatever turns you on. you are so creative the way that your making love to me, you do me, like no one ever done it, that is all i wanted. not your heart or love, do what you do to my body, i just want to fuck." something like that.
Their sexual thoughts about you is conquering you as a sneaky link. getting sexual access to you and slutting you out. relax you, take you in. may be a third party involved, group setting or three some?? omg but their sexual desire for you is strong and maybe a desire for commitment, relationship, or long term. you turn this person on, they think about getting freaky with you. going somewhere to fuck. being this person you come to for something, to be taught, loved, secured, guided. they want to see you bent over in their bed, laying behind you in the bed, spooning. they want to feel you, intimacy with you, sex with you all night, over and over again. they think about straight up sex. a lot of sexual cards came out. they want you to be theirs, foreal foreal. love your side profile, may want to do a lot to your legs during sex, touch them, caress, put them in different positions. hips to, your arch. they want to eat you all up, and kiss on every part of you, pleasing you sensually in every way. they want to overcome obstacles with you sexually, lol, make love.
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Pile two.
You got 3 of cups, 6 of wands, the devil, page of swords. How they view you? Some keywords, not all has to resonate. popular, party person, likes things like sex and drugs. thrilling, rebellious things. thot, cocky, thrill/pleasure seeking, attached, addict, obsessed. shining, attention getter, victorious. Curious, communicator, funny, dark mind, dark humor, dark thoughts, in the clouds, airy, open minded, thoughtful, learner, listener. Social media, texting, calls, emails.
Universal Understanding (Solar Plexus) Sacred Learning (Third Eye). Sees you as very intelligent, sharp minded, wise. understands, and can see others, probably psychological. angel eyes, acceptance of others or dont judge people. Wisdom through experience, spiritual growth. Sharp eye!!!! Open third eye! and sharp mind with stuff to say.
They view you sexually as a very feminine, nurturing energy. whos on their level, an empress to an emperor. very loving, and caring. someone who likes to work together in the bed, help each other. put effort in. connect with the other person. create and build on one another. maybe some toxic, drama involved, chaos maybe. likes to celebrate one another, fight with each other.
Their sexual thoughts about you. One part is very loving, intimate, romantic bonding sex. They want to love you, feel loved by you. take it slow, learn and explore your body. admire you and take in your beauty. then another side of them is kind of wanting to take you down, tap you out. Where you kind of let them see this new side of them, and they have full control over you even if your like a victim, like your helpless. handcuffs, holding your hands. using their strength, to kind of hurt you, like a pain and pleasure thing. and wont mind if you dominate them and use strength and confidence.
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Pile three
They see you as this ball of energy whos like sneaky, and gets away with things. goes with the flow, lucky with time. akeakeake hopping around sneaking like a ghost, moving with fate. but you have this youthful, playful, fun, adrenaline, passionate energy in you that's ready to explore. take on adventures. they see you as someone who may steal or be sneaky to find security or control within your life. if your confused or stuck. they may see you as a rebel who does what they want on their own desires. they may see you as slightly immature.
They may see you as someone who is social, good with the world, in public environments. can connect to people. or this is maybe how they see you with them, connective, receptive, chill and cool. centered and grounded. maybe someone who goes through lessons in the physical realm, and has these spiritual awakenings, clarity moments, ephianys. Someone who has a good heart, and connected to everyone around them, very connected to nature, yourself. Mind, Body and Soul Balanced.
They view you as a erotic, have you sent them nudes, made a sex tape. they view you as someone who is good in the bed, and may could give good head. You may get your heartbroken, but you overcome, and challenge and travel through them. You may like that sexual dynamic, where they feel bad for you or something, or maybe you want to know how they will hurt you. some emotional kink that involves pain. (this is how they view you) they view you as maybe a cheater though, someone who could sneak around.
Their sexual thoughts, they like it when you know what your doing, and they know what their doing, and you help each other, and go fast. they like it when you guys are transparent, honest, clear. they like to cum, nut, squirt, any liquid of pleasure, and maybe being on top of you, hugging you, connecting and bonding. wanting to have sex to bond and heal things within the connection.
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#18+ pick a card#18+ pac#18+ tarot#pick a picture#pick a card#pick a photo#pick a pile#pick a deck#pick a card reading#pick a crystal#pac tarot#pac reading#tarot deck#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#daily tarot#tarot community#tarotdaily#divination#astrologer#astrology readings#asteroids#astro community#astrology signs#astrology#astrology community#astrology notes
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sweet request - eris x reader
masterlist
summary: Eris wants to see you pregnant with his child.
warnings: none i think?
w/c: 1k
You have tied the knot with the mighty High Lord of the Autumn Court, Eris Vanserra, ever since the day you discovered your status as mates. Currently, you're occupied with your newly acquired duties as High Lady. This allows Eris to be alone with his thoughts, and his mind is consumed by the desire to see you carry his heir.
Later, you make your way back. "My dear." Eris gently holds your face and says, "I would like to discuss something with you." He smiles. Instinctively you reach out your arms to encircle his neck, holding him close to you. It was hard for you to get used to spending all day divided from your mate, but you had to do it. When Eris became High Lord, a lot of things changed in the Autumn Court, including the power of females: you first wished to be an example for all undervalued, abused and exploited Fae and decided to work and toil as hard as Eris. This allowed many other females to emulate you, feeling free to make their own choices, and the Autumn Court slowly began to change its mindset.
But all this, of course, took time and effort, not allowing you to spend much time with your beloved. Erisâ grin widened as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close. He loved to feel you close again, after a whole day of being apart. He was happy that you were taking your status of High Lady so serious. But even he could see how much it was wearing down on you. Erisâ expression quickly changed into that of worry and concern as his eyes slowly looked over your tired body, noticing the bags under your eyes.
âDarling, are you tired?â The Autumn Court High Lord questioned, his hands gently cupping your face.
His concern tugs at your heart, and you can't help but smile at him. Eris has always been an outstanding mate, and before that, a friend always willing to help you.
"No, no. Don't worry. What did you want to tell me, you, rather?" You ask, returning the conversation to the question he had asked you just moments ago.
Eris knew you were lying, and it took everything he had in him to not call you out on that. He took a deep breath, knowing that if he would push it, it wouldnât end well. He caresses your cheek, a frown on his lips as he sighed out quietly.
âJust something Iâve been thinking about.â He said, his hand now gently moving down to your hip, caressing it with his thumb. He was quiet for a second, as if mentally preparing himself for what he wanted to say next.
It was not often that Eris was... nervous. Sure, sometimes he is agitated, sometimes he is sad. But he was never... afraid to tell you something. In fact, once he was, you remember pleasantly.
Eris was the first to sense your bond, and that very afternoon he ran to you to reveal it, not wanting to lie to you and giving you a choice. He was nervous that afternoon, just as he is now. You wonder what was left so 'unsaid' between you that made him so uncertain.
"Hmm, and what is that?" You ask as you place a hand on his that was already resting on your cheek, an encouraging smile opens on your lips, inviting him to speak.
Eris took another deep breath. He was so nervous. No he was terrified. How would you react. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, his eyes locking onto yours, seeing the encouraging smile that you adorned on your beautiful lips. He couldnât help but fall a little more in love with you.
âItâs something that I want.â He began. His heart was racing, but he couldnât show weakness. He needed to remain calm. No matter the outcome.
Eris knows how much effort you are putting into your new role, and he does not want his request to prevent you from doing what you like, or worse-that you feel obligated to do what he wants just for him. If you were going to have a child, it would be at the behest of both of you; Eris would not agree otherwise.
"Well, love, you are a High Lord, I could say you can have anything you want." Your partner chuckles, but it doesn't calm his nerves. The hand resting on your hip fiddles with your dress, and it does not go unnoticed.
It felt like you were setting him up for rejection. But he couldnât think like that. He canât give up before he even tried. He looked down, away from your eyes now, a look of doubt in his brown-amber eyes. He inhaled deeply, as if to give himself courage to continue.
"Anything?" He questioned as his hand stopped moving on your hip. His heart rate picked up again.
Eris could see the worries that were starting to cross your mind. He knew a lot of scenarios were now playing out in your mind, and it pained him to know you thought he didnât want you. That, by Gods, was the last thing he wanted you to think. He let out a small breath, and quickly brought a hand up to stroke your chin with his thumb. âHey, stop thinking.â He muttered. âJust-â A pause, as he tried to gather the words he wanted to say next.
"Please, love. Just say it, okay?"
He was quiet for another few seconds, mentally preparing himself once more. But he knew you wanted him to just spill it. He took a deep breath, and finally said what was on his mind.
âI want to see you pregnant.â He said. His cheeks heating up as he did so. He didnât know why he was so nervous. It shouldnât be a hard request for you to satisfy.
Your heart loses a beat as a mix of emotions takes over you. If that's really what he wanted to tell you, then you don't understand why he's so nervous. A slight chuckle escapes you, making Eris confused. Are you laughing at him, or at his request?
After a small moment when you recover, you take his hands in yours and look him straight in the eye. You make sure to send him as much love and comfort as you can through bonding, and smile sweetly when he reciprocates with the same emotions.
"So, you want a child? With me?" You ask shaking his hands, Eris smiles.
He was confused. He had been dreading telling you this, dreading your rejection, and he had expected a different reaction coming from you. But there you were instead, trying to hold back a laugh. He almost pouted at that. And was about to, if it wasnât for you taking his hands in yours, and staring into his eyes. For a second his heart stopped. But it started up again as your love through the bond hit him.
He knew he had been worrying for no reason. He always did.
âWith you.â He confirmed, his smirk returning again.
You smile again at his words.
He smiled back at you, before he gently used his hands to tilt your head back by your chin. He slowly started walking you backwards, gently pushing you towards the wall behind you, as his smirk slowly turned into a devilish grin. Once your back hit the wall, he leaned forwards, and spoke in a tone that left no room for any disobedience.
âI suppose Iâll have to put a baby in you now, wonât I?â
#acotar#eris vandaddy#pro eris vanserra#eris vanserra#eris x reader#eris x oc#eris x you#eris x y/n#eris vanserra x reader#eris vanserra x oc#eris vanserra x y/n#vanserra brothers#vanserra family#acotar fanfic#acotar fanfiction#eris fanfic#eris imagine#eris acotar#eris vanserra fanfic#eris vanserra imagine#acotar imagine#acotar x you#acotar x y/n#acotar x oc#acotar x reader#acotar eris#the autumn court#autumn court#eris fluff#eris vanserra fluff
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Like A Prayer (Part One)
summary: best friends with wade youâre always being dragged into something even when heâs not trying to, what are you to do when you find the fate of your timeline in the hands of yourself, your chaotic merc and an angry wolverine whoâs hellbent on drinking himself to death?
content warning: romance, some angst, a little fluff, character deaths, canon-typical violence, smut, lots of cussing, mutual pining, found family, drug and alcohol use, reader insert but with no use of y/n cuz I hate that shit, deadpool being deadpool, mentions of poor mental health (depression anxiety and ptsd mostly), scent marking, the honda odyssey scene needs a warning all on its own MINORS DNI
a/n: lots of wade in this one but no wolverine just yet!
tag list: @allmyn1ghts, @oscarissac2099
Masterlist//Next Chapter
Not Ok
Flashes of images invaded your mind. You were in a tank, arms restrained to your sides as the oxygen was slowly sucked out of the chamber, suffocating you. Your nails digging into the leather cushioning beneath you as you try to claw your way out.
Now you were strapped to a table, an array of needles embedded into your arms and legs as you were injected painfully with all kinds of different things you werenât even sure of.
You startled awake before the sound of your alarm had a chance to rouse you from your sleep. Groggily you run a shaky hand over your face before rolling over to grab your phone checking the time. You still had about 3 hours before it was time to get up and get ready for work. Knowing you most likely werenât going to go back to sleep, not that you wanted to anyways, you toss the covers off of you and head to the bathroom.
You turn the water of the shower on, waiting for it to heat up as you stand back up you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror, taking in your disheveled appearance you sigh as you lean over the sink.
Thereâs visible dark circles under your eyes from being torn from sleep countless times over the last few months. You were sure why the nightmares had started back up again, it had been years since you had been freed from the Weapon X program so why was it all coming back now?
Pulling your tank top over your head you quickly undressed and hopped into the shower. The water cascaded over you, the warmth a welcome relief. You closed your eyes, as you felt your tired muscles slowly start to relax under the soothing spray. Lathering up your soap on a loofa you quickly washed and dried yourself putting on ample amounts of makeup to hide your dark circles.
Once dressed you sat down at your little table in the kitchen and helped yourself to a bowl of cereal as you checked your phone again.
So much shit was happening in the world, genocides, corrupt politicians running for power, starving children. It was all you saw anytime you opened up anything and it was all too much. The world was going to complete shit
You lock your phone and check the time, you still had about an hour before work. Slipping on your shoes you grab your keys and your bag and head out the door nearly bumping into Wade who was munching on a bagel in the hallway.
âJesus fuck Wade!â You said placing a hand over your rapidly beating heart. âYou scared the shit outta me!â
âMy bad pookie bear. Didnât know you worked today.â He said with a shrug adjusting his wig as he did so.
âAlmost every day this week.â You said with a sigh rubbing a hand down your tired face. You had been doing that a lot lately. âGod Iâm so tired.â
âI hear OnlyFans is really popping off right now.âWade said but it was hard to tell if he was joking or not with his straight face.
âYeah? So what, you and Vanessa can be my only subscribers?â You snorted with an exaggerated laugh.
âI know for a fact Colossus would pay top dollar for a sneak peak of your toes!â
The sound of your ex's name made you grimace. Not that you had any ill will towards him, you were both still good friends albeit a bit awkward now that youâve dated for a short time, but you still didnât want the thought of him anyway near anything sexual you did.
âHard pass.â
âSuit yourself.â Wade said taking another bite from his bagel and you two walked down the hall together.
You start to rub at your forehead as you felt a headache coming on as you walked, another occurrence that had started to happen more and more often.
âMore nightmares?â Wade asks, his voice laced with concern as he watched you.
âYeahâŠbut donât worry about it Wade.â You could handle yourself, a few ibuprofen and youâd be fine.
He calls your name, as if to say itâs too late not to be worried about you, but you wave him off as you dig around in your backpack for a second before pulling out a small black envelope.
âHappy birthday by the way! Youâre hard as fuck to shop for so I hope you like it.â You smile at him as you hold out the gift hoping to change the subject.
With an exaggerated gasp Wade tosses his bagel behind him and holds up his hands up in surprise before taking the envelope from you, and ripping it open. Inside were two tickets to a Celine Dion concert, one of his favorite artists.
âOh my-!â He starts with a gasp âI didnât even know she was touring!â He cried excitedly as he pulled you into a tight hug.
âYeah I had to basically stalk Ticketmaster for those so youâre welcome.â You said returning the hug.
âSugar booger! I love it!â He said releasing you.
âNow you just gotta figure out who to take with you.â You said as you bump shoulders with him. âMaybe PeterâŠ.oooor I donât know maybe a certain someone we all know and love who works at a particular strip club that we like to visit on occasion?â
âPeanutâŠâ Wade warned, you held up your hands in surrender. It was like a kid trying to get their divorced parents back together.
âLook, all Iâm saying is it wouldnât hurt to ask her.â
âIâll think about it.â He says quietly as he stares out deep in thought.
With that the two of you part ways, wishing each other a good day at work, Wade heading for his bike where Peter was waiting and waving at you, and you heading toward the bus stop.
Work at the pet shop was the same as always, mundane and mind numbing but it paid the rent so who were you to complain about it. You had your fair share of zooted teens coming in to ask dumbass questions and waste your time as well as the occasional fish snob who complained about the size of your tanks but all of that was typical of a normal day and honestly made it go by quicker. By the time you realized what time it was it was time to clock out and head on home to help set up for Wadeâs surprise party.
Once home you dropped off your bag and changed your clothes putting on a loose fitted t-shirt and jeans with a cardigan before heading over to Wadeâs place with a bunch of drinks. You didnât drink much but everytime Wade went out on a âbusiness tripâ, as he called them, back in his Deadpool days heâd bring you back a bottle of something.
Inside Wade and Blind Alâs apartment across the hall, many of your mutual friends were already busy at work setting up for the party. Colossus Ellie and Yukio were busy blowing up balloons and decorating while Dopinder Buck and Vanessa were busy setting up the food spread.
Looking around yourself you felt a small smile tug at the corner of your lips, all around you were the people you and Wade loved the most and you were incredibly lucky to have them in your lives after everything you all had been through over the years. A pang in your chest made you hold a hand over it and your smile dropped. Something still felt missing though and no matter how hard you thought about it you just couldnât place what it was.
âHow you doing sweetheart?â A soft voice pulled you from your thoughts. Whipping around you were pulled into a tight hug by Blind Al.
âIâm doing alright.â You smiled weakly âHowâd you know it was me?â
âIâm blind not deaf sweetheart,â she said âainât nobody else here sighing that hard but you and Wade and Wadeâs not here yet.â
âSorry.â
âYour dreams still giving you trouble?â She asks as she leads you further into the home.
âI wouldnât say dreams, more like night terrors but yeah they are a little.â You say as you place the bag said booze you bought on the kitchen counter and follow Al to the living room where she seated herself comfortably in her recliner. âItâs nothing to worry about though.â
âDonât bullshit a bullshitter baby.â
For someone who was blind Al sure could see right through you sometimes.
âIâm probably just stressed is all.â You try to downplay the situation but Al wasnât having it.
âItâs been months.â She says matter of factly.
âItâs been a stressful few months.â
âLook⊠I may not have been there when you and Wade went through what you went through in that program but itâs over now. Itâs done and that Ajax guy canât hurt you anymore.â She said resting a hand in her arm gently.
Al hadnât been a part of the Weapon X program like you and Wade had been but that hadnât stopped him from telling her in excruciating detail about all the horrible shit you both had gone through during it.
âI know Al I just-â you start but stop not fully knowing how to describe what you felt. âI just wish I could switch my brain off, just hit the reset button and be done with it but I- canât get the memories outta my head.â
âI know sweetheart itâs gonna take time but time ainât gonna do shit if you donât let people in to help you.â
You knew she was right but youâd be damned if youâd admit it out loud.
âWhen did this turn into a therapy session? I thought this was supposed to be a party.â
âSmart ass.â She said tapping you on the leg with her cane. âGo help Vanessa make the jungle juice before he gets home. Iâm gonna go see if that dumbass has any Bolivian marching powder left in his stash.â With that she stood to her feet and went to herâs and Wadeâs shared bedroom
âOh Al come on! I thought you guys were done with that.â You called after her with a frown.
âNot till Iâm dead babygirl.â She called back and if she could you think sheâd wink at you.
Back in the kitchen you and Vanessa make quick work mixing and setting up the drink you bought making light conversation as you do so.
âSo-â she starts off but pauses as if deep in thought for a moment.
âSo?â You ask curiously as you take a sip of the alcoholic punch taste testing to see if it needed anything.
âYou uh seeing anybody new yet?â She asks.
You nearly choke on your drink in surprise.
âN-no I uh no Iâm not.â You stuttered trying to compose yourself. âAre you?â
âY-yeah thereâs this guy. I met him at work, heâs kind.â
You could tell she was lying, but didnât speak on it.
âYâknow, I hear Colossus has been talking about you to Ellie a lot lately.â
Here we go again you thought.
âOh nah hard pass we tried that dance already didnât really work out.â You waved her off, but she continued anyway.
âIâm just saying heâs a nice guy, and heâs big, like everywhere, and made of metal, thatâs like totally your thing. Remember when we saw the Winter Soldier and you wouldnât shut up about Buckyâs metal arm?â
Not she was calling you out.
âJust think about it hun, you're always stuck up in your apartment or at work, youâre lonely and I think a little human connection would do you some good.â
âYeah alright Iâll think about it.â She smiles at you before caressing your cheek, like she was the big sister you never knew you had.
âBut only if you think about giving Wade another chance too.â You slip in âDeal?â
She contemplates for a moment before she smiles back at you again. You knew she still had feelings for the man and so did he.
âDeal.â
Before either of you could change the topic of your conversation the front door opened up again, this time revealing Peter and Wade.
âSurprise!â Everyone shouted as Dopinder Ellie and Yukio threw confetti into the air.
âOh you guys!â Wade gasps dramatically. âYouâre lucky Iâm not armed!â
âIf this was five years ago youâd all be dead.â He laughed as he went around hugging everyone.
The party went on without a hitch. Wade intermingling with everyone as he was passed around the room. You stayed in your own little corner as you watched sipping on your third drink for the evening. Parties werenât really your thing but for Wade youâd endure them when you had to. Just as you were about to move to get yourself another drink you spotted Wade and Vanessa talking quietly amongst themselves in the kitchen hovering over the punch bowl. With a smile just glad they were finally talking to each other you thought it better not to disturb them for the time being.
Soon after however you all found yourselves piling into the kitchen as Wade called for everyone to come and cut the cake. Wade snapped a few pictures on Yukioâs Polaroid, making some cheesy speech about how lucky he was to be surrounded each and every person he ever loved in one room, something you rolled your eyes at even though you had found yourself thinking the same thing just earlier, before going to make a wish blowing out his birthday candles as he did so.
The party continued to progress throughout the night and the stuffiness of all the bodies in the room was starting to get to you. Excusing yourself from conversing with Buck and Peter you step out into the hallway for a moment to try and get some air. Your head felt like it was swimming, probably from all the alcohol and not enough food, and you were starting to feel nauseated as a pounding sound hammered through your skull. Eventually you decided to take a step outside to get some actual air to see if that would help.
After a handful of greedy gulps of the fresh night air you finally decide to return to the party before anyone came looking for you. Once inside your hallway you spotted Wade first, but he wasnât alone this time. Surrounding him were at least 5 guys all dressed in black body armor and masks with weird electrical looking batons in their grasps. Immediately your defenses rose as you silently crept up behind them.
âOh peanut, you came back! Iâd offer to let you join in on the orgy but I donât think this guy hereâs down for sharing me.â Wade quips as he sucks on a breath mint leaning on his doorway. His comment drew most of the menâs attention towards you but not before he drew it back to himself. It seemed that they could care less that you were even there. âHeâs got this whole hate sex, love 'em and leave' em vibe going for him right now.â
âShut your mouth clown!â The guy in the front snaps as he goes to grab Wade by his toupee. Just as he grabs it an orange doorway opens up behind Wade and a pair of arms reach out pulling him inside causing his hair system to get ripped off.
âWade!â You shout as you sprung into action, using all your weight you shove two of the guys causing the three of you to fall through the strange orange doorway just before it closed behind you.
#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x reader#wolverine imagine#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#platonic deadpool x reader#logan x reader#logan x black reader#logan imagine#logan#hugh jackman#like a prayer
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man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[
#or even second tbh I'll take it#i had a couple old friends from college msg me recently to tell me what theyve been up to#which is sweet and i care abt them n wanna hear it! but they dont ask after me or show any interest in how I'm doing#and it makes me feel like I'm just their journal or smth. a brick wall they happen to be standing near#don't get me wrong I love to be useful. but when ppl only ever interact w u bc they need smth from u. well.#rly not doing anything good for this complex im developing where my self worth is directly tied to my usefulness to other ppl lmfao#i dont want to be ppls fucking dog!! or not any more than i already am but whatever thats all im good for i guess!!#and i desperately want someone to be my fave person rn bc all my energy is going nowhere + im at my best when im at my most devoted#so ppl treating me like this rn is just making me incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of.#like yeah i am eager to please and ill follow anyone around and do whatever for a crumb of attention but maybe#if you're actually my friend u shouldnt be encouraging that behaviour. even if it makes u feel good like cmon thats not so cool man#or if you ARE going to encourage it then maybe u should acknowledge the power dynamic ur creating + try not to abuse it. idk đ€·ââïž#urgh idk maybe im just saying words rn im very tired#I just feel like all the friendships etc I have atm are slipping into that dangerously unbalanced zone + becoming v one way#and I don't know what I'm doing wrong I'm trying the best I can and I guess its just not enough for anyone and that really really sucks#I'm doing better mentally rn but I dont currently have a support system + there are a lot of destabilising forces in my life#so im just. worried abt the direction things could take if I lose this foothold I've dragged myself onto yknow.#and I wouldnt have to be so worried abt that all of the time if I just had someone literally anyone I could rely on or even trust#but oh well. it is what it is. doing all I can to take care of myself so hopefully it won't come to that anyway.#sorry for rambling on so much if u read this far I'm giving u a kiss on the cheek don't worry abt me honey I've got this#anywayy goodnight#.vent#.diaries
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What manifestation technique is best designed for you? PAC
Left to Right
Pile one
This is my pile of witches and warlocks. The best way you manifest is through spells, and rituals. You have magic in your blooddddd hunnyy. You might be highly mythical, intuitive, and just divine. Use this divine nature in a creative way, and all you desire shall manifest⊠this could be through glamour magic, love spells, abundance spells..
Pile two
These are my divine feminines. This pile best manifests by setting intentions and going with the flow. Working with the feminine via moon rituals, water element or just that shakti power will draw all you desire to you⊠there is a huge theme of co-creation and just feminine energy. This pile might need to release what doesnât work emotionally and truly tap into their feminine wisdom when it comes to manifesting⊠what works for you, might not work for everyone else and that is okay⊠you might be alone in this powerâŠ
Pile three
This pile best manifest by mastering the earth element. This pile might be able to use scripting to manifest or just using the natural element to manifest. Could use some earthy/elemental witchcraftâŠ.
 But what i am hearing most is having self compassion and really devoting yourself to what you are trying to manifest = fruition of the desire. This might look like manifesting one thing at a time, and while you are manifesting it, you sleep, breath, and dream it. You continuously tap into the desire, and deeply ground yourself into the feeling consistently. Though remember balance, and leave a bit of space for life and your mental health. The whole saying, let it go and detachment for manifesting, DOES NOT apply to you. Your attachment to it really creates itâŠ. This might be my obsessive manifestors⊠do you guys have any strong pluto in your charts btw???
Pile four
So thereâs a lot of overdoing in this pile, and anxiety. There might be a lot of freezing and overthinking when it comes to choosing and sticking to what you are attempting to create. Rest assured itâs okay to feel how you feel at this moment. Rest assured that things will and can get better. Spirit is saying just remember to be ambitious, flexible but also grounded. Listen to where your intuition is guiding you. Manifesting isnât supposed to add MORE problems to life. Like life can be difficult enough⊠stop taking it so seriously tbh. Like yes you can create change, but you create change in little and big practical ways everyday. From the moment you choose to brush your teeth, to the moment you decide on studying. Didnât get much of a method for this pile! You might need to give manifesting a break and come back to itâŠ
Pile fiveÂ
This pile might manifest best through chaos, and destruction. You seem to create great things from dark places. Where people see destruction, you see a moment to create. You might be really good at seeing peopleâs potential, and helping them shift into that.. How you can effectively use this power for yourself to manifest, I think is by doing shadow work, emotionally releasing rituals, and working with darker goddesses/gods.Â
For example, letâs say you wanted to manifest a home, maybe journal about blockages you might have.. Do you feel undeserving? Do you feel its unattainable? Or maybe there is a childhood wound? Once you understand your depth, choose a ritual to release it, and then maybe channel those same feelings into getting what u want or set your desired intentions after you have released what doesnât serve you?
Also, I donât know how to properly describe but channeling anger, fear and etc might work really well for you⊠being put through trials and tribulations might also work well for you⊠hopefully yâall get what im trying to put down <3
This pile gives me the vibe of the type of people that go through the most horrible break up and 6 months later, they look good asf and they make 5x times what they used to makeâŠ
Pile six
this is a very Venusian pile. This pile manifests best through instruments, dance, and music. Also having a communion with god as well⊠speaking to god, letting god/goddess know what you want.. Keeping that relationship with spirit will really help you..
Also, gratitude practices might really help you manifest your desired things. and, general affirmations might really work for you. Everything is as it should be. Everything is working out. I feel great.. those type of affirmations!
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I had a thought recently: Silver the Hedgehog has to be one of the strongest characters in Sonic canon in terms of raw power.
It's often shown that he can use his psychokinesis to do some crazy things like fly, levitate, throw energy blasts, sometimes teleport, and any time he manipulate or moves things with his mind, it takes so little effort or energy to do so. Even things as big as buildings don't take much for him. Granted he does need to keep his focus on those things, but never seems to strain himself that much, if at all.
Upon first crossing paths with Sonic, Silver is dog-walking him. As much as we all shit on that boss fight, I'm convinced that's how it actually went in canon. Like yeah, Sonic is fast and knows how to scrap, but getting close to Silver just means getting caught in a psychic field and being yeeted across the arena.
It's implied that he's at least as powerful as Shadow, and seems to be just as naturally attuned to the Chaos Emeralds as Shadow is, evoking Chaos Control in a fit of rage after seeing Shadow do it once . And a lot of the things he can already do naturally are things Sonic and Shadow would need to go Super or use Doom Powers for.
That last bit makes me think about how the Chaos Emeralds, and by extension Master Emerald, are often lauded as "turning thoughts into power". And then you have Silver, who's whole power set revolves around thoughts being his power.
The biggest hints we have to his upper limits are the whole two times he has gone Super in the main series. The first time, he was aiding in fighting a rogue time god across multiple futures, handily throwing all of its attacks back at it. The other time was during the climax of the Metal Virus arc of the IDW comics where Super Silver just... psychically pulls the entirety of the virus out of the planet and its inhabitants, thus curing them, with what seems like minimal effort. He just... did that.
And all this power, all this world bending mental prowess in the form of a teenage rodent who was born in an apocalyptic future who is equal parts kind optimistic bean and seething hair-trigger crashout. And he has anxiety and struggles with self-worth, so there's that.
I love him. He is my son.
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