#i need to hybernate for a month then maybe i can be an adult again

[the---hermit]

Tomorrow my new class starts and I really don't want to go to lectures ugh

[tntwme]

I’m Never Going to Leave You - Part 3

My first ever fanfic attempts. Part one can be found here, Part two here.  Enjoy!

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“You.”  Nesta was startled by a voice at the library doorway.  “I knew I liked you.”  With a coy grin Amren walked into the library.

“Amren,” Cassian snickered at her, “I thought you were still at Summer.  What happened?  Get sick of your boy toy alrea-“  He chocked on the rest of his sentence as Varian walked in behind Amren.  

Varian raised an eyebrow at Cassian, almost daring him to finish that sentence.  Instead, Cassian strode over to him and clasped arms with him.  “No harm meant, Varian.”

As the two men continued talking, Amren made her way over to Nesta.  “It’s about time you did something about Morrigan and her behavior towards you.  Just watch out for whatever she might have in store for you after this.”

“I can take care of myself.” Nesta replied cooly.  

“We’ll see about that, girl.  You haven’t done a very good job of it for the past month, have you?”

Nesta’s gray-blue eyes sparked and narrowed in anger at Amren.  How dare this little female blatantly call her out on her behavior this past month!  “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.  It’s not like you’ve been around here to help in any way, too busy with your…Varian.”  Nesta blushed at almost having called him her boy toy like Cassian had.

Amren chuckled.  “It’s good to see you still have that fire in you.  You’re going to need it.”

Before Nesta could ask what she meant, Cassian and Varian joined them.  “So what brings the two of you back to the Night Court, little monster?”

“Watch it, Cassian, or you’ll be missing your favorite dangling parts before you can put them to good use.”  Although she was considerably shorter than he was, Amren still smirked down her nose at Cassian, who foolishly wasn’t backing down an inch.

Thankfully, Varian answered his question.  “Amren brought me here so I could ask a favor of you.  I’d like the opportunity for me and my men to train with you and the Illyrian army.”

By the look on his face, Cassian was clearly surprised by this request.  Nesta was confused.  “What do you mean, train?  The war is over.”

“THIS war is over, but there is always another war, girl.”  Ignoring Nesta’s bristling stare, Amren moved over to the couch and sat down.  “It may be soon or it may be centuries in the future, but there is always someone fighting somewhere and inevitably we will have to get involved. It’s best to be prepared.  Besides, what else are those men going to do with all that time on their hands every day?”  Snorting, Amren waved her hand and a tray of fruit appeared on the end table.  She picked up a strawberry while Varian plucked up a pair and sat down next to her.

Cassian nodded in agreement.  “It’s best to keep training every day, no matter that it’s a time of peace now.  Think of how much worse it would have been against Hybern if we hadn’t had trained warriors to fight him.”  Nesta flinched at the reminder that her lack of training with her powers had nearly cost Cassian his life, and did cost thousands of warriors their lives.  It had also killed her father.  Her guilt resurfaced with a vengeance, and she wrapped her arms around herself tightly.

Turning to Varian, Cassian explained to him, “I’ll have to get permission from my High Lord and Lady.  I’m assuming you have Tarquin’s approval to make this request?”  At Varian’s nod, Cassian continued, “Then I’ll ask them when I see them in the morning.”  Cassian picked up a bunch of grapes and began popping them into his mouth, chewing silently, already strategizing for the training that would take place.

Nesta’s heart was beginning to race.  Another war?  Would there be one again soon?  Who would it be this time?  Perhaps the human queens were even now gathering forces, forming plans for the destruction of Prythian.  Vassa had said her fellow queens posed a threat.  The Wall was gone, the Treaty was voided and there was still a lot of unknowns in the future between Prythian and the humans.  Peace was still a fleeting hope, nothing solid.  And who knew what other monsters lurked in these lands, or across the seas?

Nesta shivered and tightened her hold on her arms, gulping in air in quick little gasps as her mind spiraled into the darkness she’d been fighting off earlier, fighting off forever it now seemed.  She couldn’t do this.  She couldn’t survive another war, she couldn’t watch as thousands fought and died and everyone she knew risked their lives again.  They would depend on her for something and she would fail them, again, and this time someone else would die, maybe this time it would be someone she couldn’t live without, someone like-

Cassian’s grip on her shoulders tightened, he was standing right in front of her, she hadn’t even seem him move closer to her.  “Nesta, it’s ok.  Nothing is happening.  We are still here, still in the library.  I’m right here.  I’m with you.”  His soothing voice and calming words broke through her panic and he watched as her breathing slowed and evened out.  Slowly her gray-blue eyes regained their focus and she locked her gaze onto his hazel eyes until she could breathe easily again.  Embarrassed, she glanced over to the couch and found it empty.

“I told them we’d catch up with them at breakfast. They didn’t notice anything.  At least, Varian didn’t.  Who knows what Amren sees?”  With a little smirk Cassian dropped his hands from her shoulders and the absence of their warmth made her shiver.  “How about we go up to the roof and relax for a while before bed?”  Only the lack of any innuendo in his voice convinced her to go along, so she nodded her head and followed him to the roof.

He held the door open for her as she followed him onto the rooftop.  Making their way to the lounge chairs, Cassian sat on a swinging bench designed to accommodate his wings.  Nesta sat next to him, and he rhythmically swung them back and forth, using one foot to push them to and fro.  They remained silent as they listened to the sounds of Valaris, the quiet murmur of adult voices and the laughter of children on the evening air.  Settling himself more comfortably in the swing he spread an arm across the back of the bench behind Nesta and closed his eyes, careful not to crowd her.

Looking up at his profile, Nesta studied the shape of his forehead, the curl of his hair around his jawline, the outline of his lips.  She remembered being surprised at their softness when he kissed her on the battlefield.  She wouldn’t have thought those lips could be so gentle.  And warm.  She remembered the blaze of heat she felt as his lips touched hers, so briefly.  Too briefly.  She shivered, and Cassian, feeling her tremble, opened his eyes and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him.  “There’s a bit of a chill up here tonight, isn’t there?”  

Humming something noncommittal, Nesta snuggled in closer to Cassian’s warmth, feeling a thrill along her spine as his arm wrapped more tightly around her, holding her closer to his body.  Tentatively, she laid her head on his shoulder as he started to rock them back and forth once more.  Soon, his warmth and the gentle sway of the swing had her eyes drooping, and as she nestled in deeper against Cassian she thought she heard him murmur right before she fell asleep, “Sleep, Nesta.  I’m not going to leave you.”