#i need to heal

[writtenbylizzygrantt]

[vsyrworld]

after all this shits happening and how ferrari ditch my bby boy like a sand bag, i need a distraction--

thank godd this scene is truly trully my go-to- comfort,, aaaaaaah i cant write angsty charlos. i caant 😭😭

(from - Milk teeth Chapter 3)

[wordsifelt]

Ppl send me queer shit pls i have been around too many cishet homophobic/transphobic ppl these days and i need a complete spiritual cleansing.

[ramsighting]

Oh to be someone’s weird ass loyal dog. I wanna be someone’s little thing.

[overqchiever]

if anyone wants to give me jinx-centered fanfics

[baggy-holmes]

.

[neanderthottt]

i’m getting strange urges to make horrible decisions and deliberately add chaos to my life !!

[runwayblues]

please tell me they don’t have a show tonight

[thegravityblog]

Enough

I think I have reached my tipping point, I can't take any more. I'll be very honest here, no holds barred. I can't take getting hurt anymore. I dedicated my life to you, and you tossed me away like I was nothing to you and you still continue to do so. Constantly hurting me with your actions, if you wished to and really wanted to, you would stop doing anything hurtful to me. But you can't stop yourself and I think I have to step back now. But before I keep this love for you locked and throw it into a corner somewhere, where I can't reach for it I wanted to spill the beans.

You were the one who destroyed this relationship with your lies and behavior. I still supported and stayed with you, I was not two-faced like you, and my behavior was not something in front of you and behind your back something, you got my rawest version the way I was. You can't even control the button of your own jeans what the heck are you talking about in life? Do you even possess any self-control? You're a slave to your own body, I still stayed. I don't know when you found your way to prostitution and the adult entertainment industry, I had no idea what was going on behind my back. Yes, money was an issue but if you have to sell yourself after being academically so good, I have no words for you. That's characterless. Yes, I'll be honest I cannot mask my words and decorate them with lies and call them being gentle and respectful. Does any of your actions deserve any respect? Would you respect your own daughter who is like you? You don't even have the basic values of being kind and empathetic to anyone, not even to yourself. You speak so much about love and self-care, and sadly I don't see any change, any progress. And now I am stopping myself to care and hurt myself more because you don't fucking care and you never did. You're a fucking sociopath and a self-destructive monster who will fuck anything that gets hard. Congrats on immediately jumping off the wagon with my friend - it shows how cheap and low-value you are. You want to have nothing to do with me, yet revolve around my life day and night - why are you so fake and pathetic? Why are you such an awful person who hurts everyone who loves her? YOU DESTROYED US, it was your behavior, your actions. I challenged you out of love and your weak fragile ego couldn't take it and called me being disrespectful towards me and the irony is you are talking about DISRESPECT? How low will you stoop? You don't have the balls to provide me closure, talk to me like an adult not because I frighten you, I was and still am being very kind and you are mistaking it for weakness - you cannot talk to me because of your own actions and you have given up on me and on us, because of your own bullshit. You didn't have the patience, understanding or the courage to work through our issues, and I am breaking my back taking the weight all alone. I can't carry it anymore. You are not compelled to do all this, YOU DO IT OUT OF CHOICE! YES and congratulations to you and your choices but I will now start to move on because I can't be the only one loving you while you don't miss any opportunity to hurt me. Go fucking learn some self-control first, fucking my not friend at all after all of this is pathetic and I am starting to hate you. And you deserve my hate, you never deserved my love. You knowingly my hurt and wounds, decided to do the same - how do you even think you are worthy of love and respect? You knowingly hurt people you disgusting monster, and I will not go back to loving you anymore. You're disgusting, pathetic and a sad human being. You are THE SOLE REASON OF THE HURT YOU BECOME SO MUCH A VICTIM OF! YOU HAVE DID THIS TO YOURSELF. I didn't even think of finances when you asked me if I'm gonna take you or not, I DID IT FOR US, I DID IT FOR YOU! AT ONE SAYING, Did I get your support? You burdened me with debt and cheating, manipulation and lies. You promised to be forever with me, looking into my eyes everyday and how acted how good of a wife you are and behind the back shooting pornography because you love your body? You insecure fuck, I always reminded you of how beautiful you are, but you had no faith in yourself or anyone AND LOVING YOUR BODY MEANS SUCKING ANY COCK THAT COMES YOUR WAY? You loser of a human being, HOW DARE YOU HURT ME, AND CONTINUE TO DO SO? HOW DARE YOU? You are the one who brought this pain, misery and hurt on both of us and still fucking ignore it and follow me around everywhere and fuck people from my life only to fucking hurt me don't you even fucking ever say You love me or you loved me, I don't wish this kinda awful love on my worst enemy.

[gunsword]

When their texting nature is avoidant >>

[oreocoffee]

Went over to see my mans last night, I was drinking on my way there and then smoked with him. He threw my drink away and I let him. He told me to smoke instead and so I was like okay! We smoked with his friends and chilled. For some reason I was just angry because he wouldn’t let me go through his phone and was too busy to hangout with me during the week. He had his location on and answered my calls whenever I called him. Regardless, I still kept assuming he was seeing other people and I told him that. He reassured me a million times, as many times I questioned. I ended up telling him I need to leave and he was trying to figure why I was so upset. He was so calm and sweet the whole time. I know I hurt his feelings and I was crying on my way home. I am so attached and he knows…he even called and made sure I was home… he walked me to my car and sat in the car with me to make sure I was okay.

I really regret how I behaved and I know things would have worked out better if I listened to him and we talked things out. He’s a sweet heart and I wish him the best. I got so fucking attached to him and I know I hurt his feelings.

I need to learn that things can be solved by sitting down and talking about it. We can solve it or come to a conscious decision about things. I don’t know where I learned that when there is a problem, I have to run away or leaving is the solution. I need to relearn this and figure it out because the way I behaved was unlike me and it was not right. Or, was it right? Was it right to leave in that manner knowing whatever it was, it wasn’t for me.

I didn’t see room to “fix” the situation and I was not willing to during that moment.

UPDATE

I FUCKING DID THE SAME THING AGAIN AND NOW WE ARE NEVER SEEING EACH OTHER & I DONT FUCKING REGRET IT

[machiavellli]

now that I’m done writing about churches it’s time to write some smut to heal the soul

[mimi-croissant]

After finishing Banana Fish next on my list is Sasaki to Miyano and I am afraid of the whiplash

[kidovna]

stranger gays, you will always be famous

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Soup solves everything.

[calicoflower]

I'm lonely in that way someone who holds a ticking time bomb could be