#i need to get rid of my uterus or its gonna kill me one day
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I was feeling so nice and pretty in my makeup and a skirt but then I got my period and now I feel like every inch of my body screams "woman!!!!!!!" and now I wanna die
#i wanna remove my makeup and change into more masc baggy clothes but. im with my dad today were gonna visit family and all that#and i felt so cute.#i wanted to go visit my family looking like i look when i hang with my bestie#so like. comfortable in myself. fancy. silly. nice outfit with nice makeup and hair and accessories. like myself#but with my period now i feel like shit. my body doesnt fit me.#i want to lie down and wait until it's done#i wanna rip this fucking shit out of my body#i wanna die#and i cant even tell anyone how and why im feeling#most of my family doesnt knwim trans#literally just my cousin and sister#my parents know i hate having my period but they dont understand how much do i hate it#they dont understand that im 100% serious when i say its the most disgusting thing my body does#its awful. i hate it. i dont want it in my body.#it feels like its a parasite inside me#i need to get rid of my uterus or its gonna kill me one day#bee buzz
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Why you cannot be “pro life” and be a feminist
(TW: mentions of rape, abuse, gore, death and objectification may be mentioned)
Hey, you may yourself be “pro life” and have been sent this because you're a brick wall and/or this person does not have time for you or you could be an actual person with common sense and be pro choice who just wants to help grow your knowledge and understanding of the feminist movement and your debating skills. Ether way welcome, glad to have you.
I think we should disprove some idiotic points “pro life” feminists like to bring up:
“I’m fine with other women getting abortions, i just think its wrong”
*collective eye roll from all pro choicers* Alright there are two reasons i put this point first.
1. because i feel like you wouldn't even read up to this point if it weren't the first point because you're actively too lazy to read up on literally anything and 2. because i myself have had this point so much i lost count. Ill get to why abortion isn't wrong in a bit but just to say YOU’RE NOT “PRO LIFE” YOU’RE PRO CHOICE!!! The reason i said “you're actively too lazy to read up on literally anything” is because the literal definition of pro choice is
pro-choice
prəʊˈtʃɔɪs/
adjective advocating the legal right of a woman to choose whether or not she will have an abortion.
That literally describes exactly what bs has just drivelled out your damn mouth. You're ok with a person having the choice. You seriously go and say you're pro life when you don't even know what it means. For gods sake the safari app is right there, you couldn't look something up before you embarrass yourself on the internet?
But anyway you're pro choice, pro choice means you're ok with others having the choice even if you wouldn't. Have a nice day.
“Most abortions are gender based, meaning more girls get aborted because they're girls”
Sorry but you need to get your priorities straight, there are so many things wrong with what you just said. First off, transphobia much? Second, I along with anyone with morals would place a fully grown pregnant person with responsibilities, relationships and memories over that of something that is about as alive as a blade of grass that has a vagina. Do you think that a person with a uterus is lesser than something that is barely alive? yeah......... yeah thats why you're not a feminist.
But anyway i don't think you know what gender based abortions really happen for. 99% of the time gender based abortions are in places where the parents are desperate for a boy and cannot have more than one or two children. Places such as china with its one child policy. The parents want to continue the family last name and also continue the businesses (because businesses are usually passed down from father to son). China is flooded with parentless girls already because so many parents abandon them because they wanted a boy, we don't need to add that.
Im in no way ok with gender based abortions but because these people are so desperate to have a boy if abortion became illegal in counties like these violence against women and death of women via massive blood loss with increase rapidly due to coat hanger abortions and husbands hitting their wives in hope to kill the foetus. It’s ether you're ok with violence and horrific torture of millions of people world wide or you're gonna let people have abortions when they need ones.
Hey heres an idea, instead of taking away a right to abortion from women, why don't you do what most feminists who aren't lazy do and try to get rid of the patriarchal idealistic surrounding gender based abortions. Thats actually useful and helps us get to equality, while being anti abortion stops that.
“Some abortions harm women!!!”
According the the NHS (the uk healthcare service) 1 in 1000 legal and medical abortions cause damage to the uterus in abortions carried out between 12-24 weeks. Most of these damages are mild infections that can be treated with antibiotics.
Id also like to remind you that illegal abortions cause wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more damage to someones uterus than a safe and legal one. So your argument is kinda stupid. Like “some women are hurt by legal abortions so lets make it illegal and have EVERY woman be hurt but abortions! I'm fighting for women rights here guys trust me.” Birth is much more dangerous than abortion as well.
Also.... if you're talking about emotional harm...95% of people don't regret their abortion.
“Its against my religion”
Your religion applies to you, not others. NEXT.
“It doesn't say anywhere that I have to be pro choice to be a feminist”
I’m sorry do you have anything in that thick skull of yours?
feminismˈfɛmɪnɪz(ə)m/
noun
the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
Newsflash, you can’t advocate for equality when you see women as incubators. Also, yes you do see women as incubators. You think that if a person gets pregnant and doesn't want it or finds out that it is horrifically deformed or already dead that they should keep it and have it. You’re kidding me right? That is the most misogynistic and sexist thing I have ever heard and its is 100% what you're ok with.
Let me tell you what you're also ok with that is completely anti feminist:
1. Child abuse
I will get into that next
2. Back ally/coat hanger abortions
You're pro people getting hurt via illegal abortions. You're ok with people killing themselves via mass blood loss all because you're selfish enough ignore their desperation. Have you read the stories of illegal abortions before it was legal? They're horrific. You're no feminist if you're ok with pregnant people killing themselves because a right was taken away from them.
3. Rape
No one consents to rape. Its kinda like someone stabs someone else and you tell the person who was stabbed “Don't go to the hospital! You'll be fine! You can handle it.” No one should be forced to continue a pregnancy if they didn't consent to becoming pregnant. you're no feminist if you think people should suffer like that and drag their trauma out. You're punishing people for being raped. Thats worse than victim blaming. Sick.
4. Self harm
People throw themselves down the stairs, punch themselves and even starve themselves to kill the foetus. Why should they be subjected to that when they could have a safe one? You're evil if you think people should be hurt for accidentally getting themselves pregnant then you're no feminist.
5. Poverty
Do you know how much a child costs? $14,000 per year. If you're working a minimum wage job which pays $15,080 per year, thats not good news for you. The fact you’re fine with single mothers or fathers struggling to feed themselves all because of a mistake they made once is NOT ok in any way.
6. People loosing their right to education
You're ok with people missing valuable education time because they need to look after their child and/or give birth? Resulting in them severely denting their life which links to argument 5. ...You’re getting what i mean now right?
7. CHILDREN.BEING.TRAUMATISED.AND.HURT
A 12 year old being forced to have a child isn't ok sorry. There is no way you're in the right for saying they should. Their body isn't built to have a child yet so they're more likely to die or be in immense pain. The labour will be way way way longer than an adults. If you think a child should be put through that, what is wrong with you? You’re so evil I cannot muster and you're the exact opposite of a feminist.
8. The objectification of women
By forcing people to go through with pregnancies you're feeding the patriarchal idea that women are here to give birth to and look after children. You're saying that women are incubators and exist to be impregnated. You're saying that women are lesser than something that doesn't know it’s alive and that she is a slave to the person who got her pregnant and the thing inside her. Thats like so unfeminist its amazing. Thanks.
“Why can’t they just give it for adoption?”
The percentage of adopted children who are abuse is 25%. 25%!!!!! Children who are adopted are also more likely to have depression and commit suicide. In fact, if you're a foster child you're 4 times more likely to commit suicide than a child with a known birth parent. Gay parents are also allowed to be refused to adopt my some agencies, where are you yelling about that? Why are you telling people not to abort when you should be protesting this abuse and homophobia? You're telling me you'd rather see a child suffer and have their whole life messed up than just let a person have an abortion? You're sick.
“Im only ok with it if it’s rape”
So a person has to have their body violated for them to get the rights to it? Consent to sex is NOT consent to pregnancy. Condom effectiveness have gone down to 85%. Its kinda like saying that you're only ok with STD medication if it was due to rape. You can consent to sex but not being infected, so its not their fault. So thats the same with being pregnant.
“I think people should take responsibility for their actions”
Well, they are. Aborting the foetus is taking responsibility for their action. And its rather anti feminist of you to think people should be punished for life because of a mistake.
“Its my choice to be pro life and feminism gives you the right to chose what you believe”
That sentence was a direct contradiction to what you believe. Feminism gives you the right to choose yes but who are you to feel that you can take away that same right to choose to other women. Are you that entitled that you think your choice to be “pro life” is greater than other peoples right to a choice?
Your choice to be pro life is also not feminist at all. Kinda like me saying I'm pro lgbt but then kicking my child out if they're gay. People choose to be racist, people choose to be homophobes. Your choice is your choice yes but everyone has a right to tell you why that choice is wrong.
“But babies are cute!”
...okay...? First off, that shit isn’t a baby. It’s a cluster of cells or a foetus. Second, what does that matter? Something being cute doesn’t put it on some kinda pedestal. I like boa constrictors are cute, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t shoot one in the face if it was trying to constrict my friend.
A thing being cute doesn’t make it more important. In fact it’s very ignorant of you to say that something being cute puts it above others.
You're not a feminist. Just say you hate people with uteruses and go
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I wish I never got an abortion..
Hey whoever reads this..
It may help you or someone else, you may even feel like this doesnt apply to you, but I just have to get it off my chest. I will go over my story and things girls in my previous situation really shouldn't do and what you should :)
My circumstances were at the time was, I was 16, had no qualifications, didnt have any type of job or type of income towards my name. I was dependant on my mother. I was also a very reckless person. Fucking whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted, doing things I shoudn't of. But on the other side of things I was very good academically and had a fairly good amount of friends.
Obviously I got pregnant...briefly after my 16th birthday..lol. I had a feeling I was pregnant 2 days before my period started, I told the guy and he was like dont say that, dont worry about it too much your period will come. Next thing you know, 2 weeks later my friend steals 3 pregnancy tests for me and they all come out positive.
So Im like fuuuuucckk on the inside, but on the outside I was extremely calm, it was a bit worrying to others. So I called my cousin after and I told her my situation. I feel like people would question why not tell my mum. Well one shes black, two shes come from an extremely strict Caribbean background, so they way she approaches situations is not really to my liking. (I would basically shit myself and I know I would get kicked out if I had any guts to tell her). My cousin and I then the two days after went to a hospital and finally confirmed I was pregnant. Funny fact: When I went to the hospital, well the clinic part of it, the "guy" was there, not like as if he knew it was just a coincidence that we ended sitting in the same waiting room.
I discussed with my cousin at first about what I was going to do. I was certain that I was going to keep the baby. I hated abortions with a passion. How hypocritical of me. I am against abortions but thats for me, that my personal opinion. It doesnt mean that I hate other people that do it, they can go ahead its none of my business. But for me it never really sat well, I didnt like the idea of it. And neither did my cousin. She said she was going to support me and help me get temporary accomadation if I was to get kicked out. I was going to research to continue onwards with further educations alongside having a child at a very young age. You know the whole dingle-bingle.
later that night, I called the "guy" and I told him straight up. And at first he was ok with it. He was like hes not going to force me to do anything and he left it at that. So I was a bit relieved that he said that instead of saying get rid of it. Considering the other reactions to similar situations, the boys I know, they'd straight up get theyre niggas and beat the girl to the pulp to kill the baby. And really and truly that "guy" was extremely capable of doing that but he chose not to.
So a few days pass and I'm really happy but worried at the same time. I had told certain friends, which led to my whole school knowing. One thing that shouldnt be done no matter hooooow big mouthed you are. Dont fucking trust anyone because...just no. So that really wasnt comfortable with me. People asking questions, it was very overwhelming. Plus at the same time dealing with my depression and anxiety, it just didnt add up well. Definitely one sitaution a pregnant women shouldnt go through.
So..later after school finished. Im at home and the guy calls pissed because everyone knew. And everyone could connect it back to him because we had a history. Like everyone had an idea that we was fucking. I feel like it was embarassing for him because he was in Year 13 and I was in Year 11. So then I was apologetic for opening my mouth to certain people that I had trusted. So he then continued onwards to saying "I think you should get the abortion." I was so gutted but I was also thinking about it. He proceeded to explain that he again wasnt forcing me but he was presenting me the situation on both sides of the spectrum. For both me and him. He explained that for me, It wouldve been hard to do my gcses because I wouldve been atleast 5 months, I would probably get kicked out, my life would come to a halt as I would need to take care of a baby, I wouldnt be able to pursue a career I wanted because of the huge responsibility. For him, the fact that he was from a muslim background wouldve make his family put him to shame once they found out and either way regardless if he didnt want to look after the baby he'd have to. I then told him that I dont need him. Considering my background of not really having a father figure I definitely felt like I could look after a baby on my own. He proceeded to say that he'd need to support me plus going to uni. But then again he said hes not going to force me. At this point if I was to put it into a percentage Abortion 5% / Keep the baby 95%
After that talk, talks with him got more frequent as he tried to persuade me to get an abortion. He told me bout single mothers at my age that are addicted to drugs and consdiering where we lived it wasnt a good area to bring up a baby. He told me about how he sees so much potential in me and that this situation would just stop it and distract me from becoming successful. And I completely understood where he was coming from. I wasnt going to be irrational and refuse to listen to his arguements. I then thought about it to myself and I just reached the decision that because he made more sense I would get the abortion. I mean how would I support myself and a child, provide food and shelter and continue in education. It all seemed impossible to me. But then there was me saying that because I put myself in that situation I must take responsibility and that god would never make me go through something I couldnt handle. So at the this moment the table have turned and I was now 100% abortion.
I told my cousin about my change in decision and she was extremely upset and told me that when I do decide to do it that she didnt want to be present. Which was completely understanding. So I told my sister and because she was in a similar situation to mine when she was 16, she was able to help me. Which is what I advise to any women that wants to get an abortion is to never go through with it alone, regardless if you think you're a heartless person, make sure someone is supporting you some how. I then told my mentor at school, and she was trying to tell me not to get it but I was certain that I was going to get. Another thing, telling a teacher figure, isnt a bad idea. It really should be a teacher or someone along those lines that you know you have a good relationship with or you know is a helpful person. I dont know how much I preached to my mentor not to tell anyone that would tell my mum. So she had to abide by that. I got through the whole process of getting an appointment to discuss what would happen. To making the appointment for the abortion. Organising who would go with me. And in the mean time I was going through complications at about 2 months. There was a chance that I was going through an abdominal pregnancy due to pains I was experiencing. Luckily that wasnt the case and I was just stressing way to much.
So before the day of the abortion, the guy and me talk and he sounded relieved that I was going to get the abortion. He said to me that he would even come with me, to the clinic so that I wouldnt go through it alone. I briefly felt happy about me decision because he was happy. (I hope you see what Im getting at).
I was out of most of my lessons, talking with my mentors, I really did take advantage of that but constantly talking to someone instead of me overthinking about it and getting even more depressed was really helpful. Dont get me wrong I had many of my close friends supporting me, regardless of my decisions.
So the day of the abortion, I go with my auntie, I get my test done for STDS. That was clear. I get a scan. This was the most offputting thing to see. I literally fucked up my brain. The lady printed out the picutre and I saw the baby. That was in my body, in a uterus. I felt some type of connection but I quickly tried to push it aside. I know now at that moment I shouldve walked out the door. But I stayed. So then my sister had to come because my aunty had to go somewhere and it finally came to the point of taking the pills.
I'm not a doctor so I dont know the names but the procedure was to insert three or four pills up the vagina and thats it. I did that procedure because I couldnt go through the vaccuming method, just no. So as soon as I left the clinic small pains were coming through. And the pain killers that I was given wasnt no paracetomol, it was codeine. So I knew that I was gonna go through a shit amount of pain. The method I went through was inducing a miscarrage. My sister put me on the train I could go back home and I sit and process what I had just done. I was around about 20 people trying not to cry but tears was just falling out my eyes. I wish I couldve gone back and not inserted those pills. Before I got to my stop I just thought to myself its done now just leave it now. So I get home now and I need to pee. And a gush a blood just came. And I was curious so I looked at the toilet and I saw the placenta. As if it was ripped out of me. So I processed it again, I was basically flushing my baby down the toilet. Like wtf right? At this point the pain was just unbearable. I couldnt even stand. I was sitting on the toilet for a good hour before I went to lay down in my bed.I didnt want to move but I had to pick up my niece. The walk to my nieces school from my house was about 5 minutes and I had to beg one of the parents at the club to drive me home and help me inside.
Quickly I took the pills and the pain calmed down. My mum thought I was going through a period. The school let me take off as much time as I wanted. Even though I was offered counselling I declined. I shouldve accepted but I felt like I needed to go through this alone. I only talked to the guy once after. I literally felt like I was in a box. I took about 3 weeks off school. Pain for me lasted about 1 week to 2 before my actual period started. So I was in and out of hospital because the pain normally supposed to last 4 days. Nothing was wrong with me so I felt like it was God punishing me with more pain. And that was it.
After that, I acted like it never happened. Tried to continue on with life but my life was just going downhill before my eyes.If youre wondering I passed my GCSES and got 6 A-C.That was literally the only positive. And to me my life is still going downhill at this moment. Briefly after healing up, I got exposed multiple times, with pictures, but I didnt pay any mind to it. I got raped, but I didnt realise I got raped till my closest friends were telling me that I had. I didnt see it as rape but considering the whole situation, it was. I felt like because I put myself in that situation It wasnt rape. I was getting therapy but I wasnt saying what I wanted to say because it was therapy with my mum. Our relationship had deteoriorated extremely. And thats not because she knew. She didnt until about 9 months later.I had met someone that made me the happiest person, despite our disputes, I was still happy. He made me feel important while I was in this downward spiral. And turns out we was both toxic. It ended terribly. I was willing to do unthinkable things just to get him back in my life and thats when I realised that I had reached my peak.
Right now even though it still seems to me that my life is going downhill, its not as steep. Im more happy, Im getting help. My mum knows more but not everything.Im happy with that. Im still bunking lessons, but its just when I feel extremely low. But it just occurred to me that right now well lets say today, if I had gone through a full term and given birth, my baby wouldve been 2 months old. And that really aches in my heart. I had recently found the picture of my scan again and it just really made me think. Why on earth did I get that abortion? And I thought hard about it. And I realised how my brain was working back then compared to now. I was trying to make the guy happy , I wasnt being selfish. In that situation , you have to be selfish, dont care bout nobody else but YOURSELF. But im my mind I wanted him to be happy about my decision, I didnt want to disappoint him, so I got the abortion. I think about it now and I wish I wouldve had my baby. If I was thinking like how I am right now, my baby wouldve been in my arms. And now I know that my mum wouldve helped me and I was wrong the whole time about my mum lashing out. I had this all bottled up inside of me and I have been getting these suicidal thoughts, but I been there and done that. Its not a route I want to revisit.
All I am stressing here. Is that regardless of your situation, You need to think real fucking hard before you decide to get an abortion. I know right now that I will regret this for the rest of my life. So I really dont want more girls to go through this. Think before you do anything.
First thing first is wrap it up for fuck sake!
If you dont wrap it up and get pregnant, THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE! THINK ABOUT YOURSELF FUCK EVERYONE ELSE!
If you dont believe in god then think to yourself. You can wake up everyday and you've experience your happiest and lowest days. You've seen single mothers or dads that look after their children and even though through the struggle they are still happy. You can handle it. Even if you dont think you can I dont know how to stress, regardless of the situation your in you can handle it. But if you think you cant then you need to have someone. Even if its someone online that you could talk to (be careful though) at least you have some sort of support. There are phone lines that allow you speak and they listen and advise you. We are in the fucking age where we can do that. We are so advantaged!
Please think before you get an abortion because the last thing you want to come to mind and eventually come out of your mouth is
"I wish I never got an abortion"
Sorry this is so long.. If anyone needs advice on literally anything, doesnt need to be about abortions, just slide im dms.. Sharing will help aswell so more people can see and advise others. A post can do so much. But I can do so little and just share my story and hope that hopefully Im helping someone who thinks that theyre by themselves.
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