#i need to do the homework for the class i'm TAing and fill out a self-assessment and possibly buy tickets for a dance show this weekend

[smallblueandloud]

oh, how i love you, adhd medication. took a short release a few hours ago because i couldn't stop watching BTVS and i haven't done anything in three days so i figured it couldn't hurt and now i'm sitting here thinking about the big picture and art i want to make and what i can get done right now to make my life easier this week.

[eccentricpartynights]

words hung above

fandom: ensemble stars pairing: koga x yuzuru characters: yuzuru, koga, tatsumi, tori word count: 1400 summary: a wrongly sent text starts a rollercoaster of emotions

Only a single word flashes on his screen. A word that has a million meanings and a million more feelings attached to it. His eyes scan over it again and again; his heart thumps in his chest

Why did Koga Oogami text him ‘help’?

Only a single word flashes on his screen. A word that has a million meanings and a million more feelings attached to it. His eyes scan over it again and again; his heart thumps in his chest.

Why did Koga Oogami text him ‘help’?

So many scenarios swim in his mind. Is Oogami-sama hurt? Is he in trouble? Why is Yuzuru the person he texted? What is he supposed to reply? 

Yuzuru forces himself to stop and breathe. He needs to think rationally about this. It's possible that Oogami-sama is just messaging him for help with his homework. They are in the same class, after all. But this has never happened before. Oogami-sama has never needed him..

Perhaps it's… no. No, he cannot entertain that possibility. Never. He shouldn't feel these things, especially not for a classmate. Not for anyone. Not while he works for the Himemiyas.

The message, Fushimi.

His hands shake as he looks at the single ‘help’ on his screen. He'd said nothing else. Just ‘help’. What if something has happened to him? Yuzuru has half a mind to put his coat and shoes on and knock on Oogami-sama’s dorm room door. But that would make it worse. Seeing him would make it worse.

Holding his breath, he types out his own message: Are you okay, Oogami-sama? Do you need something?

He presses the send button before he can rethink it. The blue check marks appear under the message, indicating that Oogami-sama has read it. He stares at the screen. Oogami-sama says nothing else.

-----

Koga’s face pales. Oh, shit. How the fuck’d he manage to mess up already? He wasn't supposed to send the text to Fushimi, and he sure as hell wasn't supposed to read the text Fushimi sent back…

He panics and shuts off his phone. Reading the words on the screen has made his insides feel weird, like he's going to be sick. What's with that? The feeling makes him angry and he slams his fist onto the table. The startling pain makes the anger worse and he lets out a strangled-sounding yell.

Kazehaya-san pokes his head into the kitchen. 

“Is something the matter, Koga-san?”

“Nah,” says Koga through gritted teeth. 

Kazehaya-san frowns. “You seem angry. Would you like to talk about it?”

Koga takes a minute to calm down. He nods once, and Kazehaya-san comes to sit with him at the table. He says nothing, clearly waiting for Koga to talk when he's ready.

Koga balls his hand into a fist, ignoring the pain that digging his nails into his palm is giving him. “I fucked up sendin’ a text,” he says quietly.

“How did you do that?” asks Kazehaya-san.

“I meant ta send it ta Adonis, but I sent it ta Fushimi instead… and then I read the text Fushimi sent back, like an idiot.”

Kazehaya-san smiles gently at him, and Koga fights the urge to roll his eyes. “You aren't an idiot, Koga-san. You made a mistake, that's all.”

“Well, it was a fuckin’ big mistake, wasn't it?”

Kazehaya-san taps his fingers on the table, something Koga had noticed he does when he's thinking. “Well, can you reply and tell him that you didn't mean to send the text to him?”

Koga rolls the idea over in his head. “Nope, cause that’d hurt his feelin’s. And I don't wanna do that.” He slams his head down on the desk.

“But you say you've already read his reply, no?”

Koga sighs. “Yep.”

“Koga-san, why is it so bad for you to have sent Fushimi-san a message?”

Koga lifts his head at this. “Because… then I'd have ta think about my feelin’s an’ all, and I don't want ta have ta do that.”

Kazehaya-san raises an eyebrow. “Feelings? What feelings?”

Koga’s face drains of colour yet again. Why. “Uh…”

Kazehaya-san just sits and waits patiently, and that makes him furious. “I think I love him, Kazehaya-san,” he says, his voice rising in volume. “And I wasn't supposed ta think about it because why the fuck would Fushimi like someone like me? You had ta fuckin’ pry, didn't ya? Now I have ta ‘confront my emotions’ or whatever religious bullshit yer gonna throw at me, or else it's gonna fuckin’ plague me for the rest of my life!���.

Unsurprisingly, Kazehaya-san doesn't react to his outburst. “Talk to him,” he says gently. “I think you should talk to Fushimi-san. I think it'll help you a lot.”

This makes Koga pause. Not what he was expecting. “How am I supposed ta do that? ‘Oh, hi, Fushimi, I’m in love with ya’?”.

“Well. Not straight away, but yes.” Kazehaya-san checks his watch. “It isn't too late. You could go over to his dorm and talk there?”

“I…” Could he do that? Could he really tell Fushimi why this was happening? “If it fails, ya owe me two thousand yen, Kazehaya-san,’ he says, pocketing his phone and getting up off his chair. Annoyingly, Kazehaya-san just smiles, like he knows something Koga doesn't. “Fuck you, priest boy.” 

Kazehaya-san laughs. “No thank you, Koga-san. I'll see you later. I wish you luck.”

Koga only grumbles a ‘thanks’ as he shuts the door behind him.

-----

The message has been forced out of Yuzuru’s mind (almost). Oogami-sama still hasn't replied, and he knows he’ll just work himself up if he doesn't stop thinking about it.

He has work to do, and he'll do it even if it kills him. He scribbles down notes furiously, listening to the way his pen scratches against his paper as a way to shut his thoughts off.

It's only when a knock comes at the door that he looks up from his page.

“I'll get it!” yells Tori, and Yuzuru watches as the door opens and Tori pokes his head out.

He can't hear the other half of the conversation being had but he's too engrossed in it to go back to studying.

“Hey, Yuzuru, someone's here to see you.” 

“Me?” Yuzuru's heart skips a beat. Could it be…?

“Oogami-sama,” he says as he stands in the doorway. A mixture of worry, anger, and… something that he doesn’t want to admit fills him.

“Um, hi,” Oogami-sama says, and the flush in his cheeks from the cold makes Yuzuru want to kiss them. (The thought is out before he can stop it.) 

“Are you okay?” asks Yuzuru. “You didn't reply to my message, and I was worried about you.”

Oogami-sama laughs sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “I… I’m sorry, okay? I didn't–didn't wanna hurt yer feelin's, see? I… okay, listen. I don't know how ta say this because I don't do good with this kinda stuff but… yer really great, and I freaked out after I read yer text because… I jus’... why would you like someone like me? I’m jus’ a lone wolf with too many issues and ya—”

It takes Yuzuru a second to process his words, and when he does, he isn't sure he's interpreting correctly. He holds up a hand to stop him talking any further. “Excuse me for interrupting you, Oogami-sama, but could you please repeat what you just said?”

Koga’s eyes widen. “Oh… I… I’m jus’ a lone wolf with too many issues?”

Yuzuru can tell he's stalling. Did he say something he didn't want to? “Before that.”

“... For fuck’s sake, Fushimi,” he grumbles. “I really like ya, okay? I didn't want ta do it. I don't like havin’ these feelin’s but yer just so… ya make feel so… weird, and I don’ hate it. And I know ya won't like me back because yer so proper and I'm—”

Yuzuru’s head is spinning, and he doesn't let himself pause for too long in case he regrets it, but he can't listen to this man talk like this anymore. “Oogami-sama,” he says, voice soft.

“Y-yeah?” Yuzuru can tell the pink in his cheeks isn't just from the cold anymore. 

He steps outside and closes the door, shielding them from Tori’s prying eyes. “May I kiss you?”

Oogami-sama takes a breath.  “Please,” he whispers.

Yuzuru cups his hand against Oogami-sama’s cheek and closes his eyes as their lips meet in the middle. Somehow the result is a feeling of peace and something explosive all in one, and Yuzuru takes a second to note that it feels like he did the right thing, before letting himself get lost completely in Koga Oogami’s arms.