#i need to book ASAP and i need an exact number

[sunjoys]

spent may and june laying around doing nothing bc nobody was free and now that i have things to do everything is backfiring on me. i dont know how to schedule shit anymore and i forgot organising my friends is like herding cats

[babymarvelbunny]

Threads of Redemption Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: In the aftermath of the Sokovia Accords and the dissolution of the Avengers, Bucky finds himself still haunted by his past as the winter soldier. He remains on the run, torn between the desire to redeem himself and the fear of hurting others. YN is a skilled S.H.I.E.L.D. agent tasked with locating Bucky and bringing him back to the Avengers compound.

Warnings: none?? I think??

Word Count: 976

A/N: I swear I have so many fics locked and loaded and I just never post them. pls forgive me. I swear I'll upload the next part ASAP, kinda proofread but not really.

As you walked down the hallway towards Steve's office you knew that you were about to be sent on a mission. You were more than excited to finally get back out into the field as it had been weeks since.. the incident. It wasn't your fault that someone had decided to plant a bomb in the exact same spot you had decided to walk. Knocking on Steve's door you heard him mumble something under his breath along the lines of "come in". Walking into his office you noticed how Steve was clearly distracted by something on his computer.

"Hey Cap, what's up?" You didn't want to make it too obvious that you were excited to go on a mission as you could tell that something was troubling Steve. He looked up from his computer and sighed.

"I need you to do me a favor, off the record." Steve looked you in the eyes as he spoke in a hushed tone. okay, now you're worried.

"Okay... what's going on." You could tell that he didn't exactly know how to express what he was feeling at that moment.

"I have a mission for you, and I need you to do it alone. I don't trust anyone to get it done other than you. I know that your skills will come in handy." Steve never really liked sending people on missions alone so you knew this was serious.

"Listen Cap you know I'll do anything for you, you're like my big brother, tell me what's going on." You hated that he was struggling to get the words out. Steve sat up in his chair and leaned over his desk to get closer to you. You sat forward and waited for him to tell you what was bothering him.

"It's Bucky, I got a tip from an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D agent that he was spotted in a small town just north of Vancouver, I need you to go and get him, please." Steve looked you in the eyes as he spoke, you knew he was worried about Bucky.

"Steve, I don't know... I'm not so sure it's such a good idea to send me... I don't have any sort of powers... I haven't taken the super soldier serum like you have, I stand absolutely zero chance of bringing him in." You weren't sure why Steve would choose you to bring in Bucky when he could ask Nat, she's way more capable of winning him over than you.

"I can't ask anyone else, after the Accords the Avengers are being watched, I need you to do it, you're the next best thing, you have the highest success rate on missions and you're fast so you can keep up with him." Steve was practically begging you at this point, how could you say no.

"Thanks for the confidence boost but I wouldn't say I'm nearly as fast as Bucky, but I'll try..." you could tell that Steve was relieved.

"Thank you Y/N... I mean it, this means the world to me, I'd go myself if I could. I booked you a flight tonight at 11pm, you'll pack a small bag, carry-on size, then you'll land in Vancouver and there will be a bag in one of the bathroom stalls for you. Inside the bag will be a burner phone and two sets of keys, one will be a car key, the other a key for a safe house in Vancouver. The phone will have my number on it so that we can keep in contact while you're there." Steve was rushing to get all the information out as he scrambled to try and find something on his desk.

"Once I do find him... how do you expect me to convince him to come back here with me, if he wouldn't come back for you, his best friend. Why would he come back for me? I mean I've never even met him." You were seriously starting to doubt his plan.

"Just trust me, I'll explain more once you land in Vancouver." Steve finally found what he was looking for on his desk and he handed you a plane ticket. "Don't overthink it, please."

"Okay... I promise I'll do everything I can to bring him back here." You looked down at the plane ticket and decided that no matter what you wanted to do this for Steve.

"Thank you Y/N, now go pack, something light don't forget, don't worry about weapons I have the car packed with everything you'll need. Just pack clothes and such." You took Steve's words as him dismissing you, and you got up to leave.

Heading back toward your room you had thoughts of doubt running through your head. You were by far the most skilled S.H.I.E.L.D. agent but that doesn't mean you can go around fighting super soldiers. Once you arrived back at your room you packed a small bag filled with your daily essentials. once packed you looked at your watch and realized it was 8pm and that you should probably head out now. Heading for the elevator you bumped into Peter.

"Hey! Where are you heading? Going on a trip? fun, I never get to go on any trips, or are you going on a mission? can I come?" Pete was talking a mile a minute as he looked up at you with wide hopeful eyes.

"Not this time Pete, I'm just going on a little trip, I'll be back in a few days." You tried really hard to not look at his puppy dog eyes.

"Aw, okay. Well, have fun!" Peter looked sad for all of 3 seconds before he ran off down the hall.

As the elevator doors opened you stepped in and looked back at your reflection in the doors. 'This should be fun' you thought to yourself.

To Be Continued...

[atths--twice]

Chapter Fourteen

Feeling better than he has in a while, Fox is set to relax for the weekend. But, will other plans surface? 😊

Saturday morning, Fox woke up with a smile. He felt light, like a burden had been lifted off of his chest. 

Since Samantha had been visiting, he had felt the weight there. As though he had been deceitful to Dana for not sharing his past when she had been so forthcoming with her own. He knew that he should not feel that way, but that did not stop it from happening. 

Rising and feeling energized, he made some coffee and toast. Sitting down at his desk, he opened his laptop and began to write, words and ideas begging to be captured in a document. 

Not until his stomach growled, did he realize he had been at it for hours. He had been lost in a story, a new idea erasing the book he had been working on entirely. He felt it in his soul that this was the story he needed to write, the characters practically shouting their hellos to him and to each other. 

He laughed as he stood up and stretched. Walking into the kitchen, he took out the containers of leftovers, smiling as he thought of Dana being the one who had put them there. Feeling his pockets, he realized his phone was in his room. Cutting a piece of lasagna and placing it into the microwave to reheat, he went to his room to retrieve his phone. 

Three messages were waiting when he pressed the home button and he smiled seeing that two of them were from Dana. Unlocking his phone, he opened the message app and read them. 

Thank you again for last night. We’ve been talking about it all morning. Ivy had so much fun. She asked me to ask you to please say hello to Oink for her. 😊

Oh also, she left her bracelets there. Could you please bring them to the diner on Monday? She says she doesn’t need them until then because she got another present this morning and will get one tomorrow. Today was rainbow ribbons and tomorrow will be a paint by number set. Shhh… 

He grinned as he went to read the other message from Samantha. 

Hey, big brother. How was the lasagna? Didn’t eat it alone, did you? I sure hope not. 😉 Anyway, here are the Christmas lists for the boys you had asked for the other day. I swear, I need to just make one list as they want nearly the exact same things, but… They are really into Legos and the book series on the lists. Or anything else that strikes your fancy. 😊

Sammy Bammy, he typed back. Lasagna was superb, as usual. No, I did not eat it alone, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know. Dana and Ivy came over to join me. We talked after Ivy fell asleep on the couch, about Mom and Dad. It felt cleansing to talk about it with her. She’s… well… 

He stared at his words, debating whether to keep the last two. Pressing send before he could dwell too long, he let out a breath. It was not as though Samantha did not already know, but it felt different seeing it in a message. 

She’s a fan of yours, he continued, writing another message. Loves your product, has for years. So, I’m gonna need another box, because mine seems to have disappeared from the apartment. 

He smiled as he pressed send again and almost immediately saw she was typing back, the three dots bouncing as she wrote her response. Whatever he had been expecting, it was not what came through. 

A massive amount of smiley faces with heart eyes and ones with hearts around them, along with red and pink hearts filled the reply bubble, growing large before slamming and settling as a regular message. He laughed loudly as he hit replay, watching the message shake and then settle. 

The dots again appeared and he waited. 

Fox, that makes me so happy to hear. Or read. 😊 I really liked her, as I said, and I can see she’s been good for you. ❤️ 

I’ll send a box to you asap. I’ll add some new things I hadn’t included for you, specifically for Dana and Ivy. I’m so glad she likes them. Please tell her thank you. And for more than just liking the product. ❤️💕

He grinned as he sent a quick thank you back to her and assurance that he would look at the Christmas lists. She sent back two hearts and said goodbye. 

The microwave beeped, reminding him that his lasagna was waiting. Walking back to the kitchen, he checked it and added another minute to the time. 

Looking at the sink, he grinned and reached for Oink and then Ivy’s bracelets that had been left behind. Placing them gently around Oinks neck, he snapped a quick picture and opened his messages again. 

Hey there, he typed in reply to Dana’s message. Oink says hello and to tell you she will keep the bracelets safe until Monday. She loves the way they look on her and while she knows that Ivy must miss them, she is happy to borrow them for a couple of days. Have a good weekend. 

He added the picture of Oink and pressed send, smiling at the sight of the pig sponge wearing so many colorful bracelets. Laughing, he set the phone on the counter and took out the lasagna from the microwave that was sounding a reminder once again. 

Sitting down at his desk to eat and continue writing, his phone beeped as he stood up to get a glass of water. 

An audio message from Dana made him smile as he pressed play and Ivy’s voice came through the speakers. 

“Oink looks so beautiful with the bracelets. Now she’s a rainbow pig. I think she likes them. She’s smiling. See, Mommy? She’s happy.” 

“Yes, love, she is happy. Tell Fox and Oink thank you.” 

“Oh yeah. Thank you, Fox and Oink. Mommy will bring them to me on Monday and you can wear them until then.” 

She snorted loudly and Dana laughed before the message cut off. Fox laughed heartily, shaking his head and listening to it again before walking back to his desk as he double tapped their message and added a heart to it. 

Sitting down, he became lost in the story he was writing, chuckling sporadically at the memory of Ivy’s loud snort and Dana’s surprised laughter. 

____________

Sunday, after staying up late lost in his writing, Fox slept in later than usual. Upon waking up, he decided to do something he had not done in awhile and go for a run. 

There were many people out already seizing the day to get things done. Shopping for Christmas gifts, meeting up for a mid-morning breakfast, talking and laughing as he ran past. 

He stopped for a breather near the water, pacing back and forth as he stood with his hands on his hips looking down at it. A man on a decorated bike rode by him, Christmas music playing from a speaker in a basket. He smiled at Fox as he continued on, the Santa hat with elf ears he wore, causing Fox to chuckle. 

Heading back home, he stopped and bought a coffee and a piece of crumbly coffee cake. Walking the last couple of blocks as he ate, and drank, he was lost in thought over the the character’s in his book, their conversations nearly as real as the ones going on around him. 

“Fox!” 

He raised his head and looked around, finding Dana and Ivy outside his building. Ivy waved excitedly and Dana smiled, as she held onto the handle of a teal blue collapsible wagon. 

“Hey,” he said, walking over to them with a grin, throwing out the bag from his coffee cake. “Did I miss something? Did you call me?” He took his phone from his pocket and saw that he had not missed any calls. He looked back at Dana and she shook her head. 

“No!” Ivy shouted with a smile. “We’re surprising you! Was it a good surprise?” She hopped up and down and he laughed with a nod. 

“It was a great surprise,” he said, glancing down inside the wagon and frowning when he saw its contents. “What’s all this?” 

“Well,” Dana said, clearing her throat and appearing slightly nervous. “Ivy and I were talking last night as we sat on the couch looking at our Christmas lights and we both realized something, or rather Ivy did.” 

“Oh? What’s that?” he asked, looking at Ivy and then down into the wagon again. 

“You don’t have any Christmas stuff in your house, Fox,” Ivy said and he turned his head toward her. “We have lots at our house, but you don’t have anything. Not any Santas or even one snowman.” She shook her head slowly, her face serious and he raised his eyebrows as he bit back a smile. 

“Oh, I see.” 

“You don’t even have a Christmas tree.” 

“You’re right, I don’t.” 

“I told Ivy,” Dana said, letting out a breath. “I said that maybe you haven't had a chance yet. Or maybe, because you only moved here recently, you haven’t unpacked yours yet.” She stared at him and smiled softly. “Or maybe… you don’t want to put things out?” 

He drew in a deep breath and understood what she was not saying. The concern she had for his feelings surrounding the holidays, the worry in her eyes, made him want to hug her. 

Instead, he smiled and nodded, looking back at the wagon full of many large paper bags, a couple of decorative boxes, and a box containing an artificial tree. 

“I actually don’t have any Christmas decorations. My sister is the one to have the decorations up at her house. I usually visit her on Christmas and so that’s all I really need. But you know, my place could do with some things. Hmm…” He touched a bag and peered inside, seeing snowmen and a smiling angel. He smiled and looked at Ivy. “These are from your house?” 

“Yes. I choosed some that we had set out in our apartment and some from the box we keep in the storage room,” she said, looking in one of the bags. “There’s a penguin that's my very favorite. I thought that Oink might like to meet her.” 

He laughed, his eyes flicking to Dana. She was smiling as she looked at Ivy, her eyes shining. 

“Well, I’m sure Oink will be delighted to have a new friend. Thank you for thinking of me, Ivy. That was very considerate.” 

“Does that word mean that I did something nice?” she asked, looking up at him and tilting her head to the side. 

“Yes,” he said, his smile growing. “That’s exactly what it means.” She smiled and clapped as he touched the puffball on top of her pink polka dotted beanie. “Let’s take this wagon full of stuff inside and get to decorating.” 

“Yay!” Ivy shouted and threw her arms in the air. 

He laughed and looked at Dana again, finding her eyes on him this time, a questioning expression on her face. He nodded and she let out a deep breath as she smiled slightly. 

Using his key fob, he opened the door, letting them walk inside first, Ivy chatting excitedly about the rest of the items they had brought over. Falling in step beside Dana, he placed a hand on her lower back and bent his head close to hers. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, saying nothing further, knowing she would understand. 

“You’re welcome,” she whispered back. He nodded and moved his hand to hold the elevator door open and allow Dana to enter with the wagon. 

_____________

“I think it should go here,” Ivy said, climbing up on a stool and setting a ceramic Christmas tree on the counter. “I think that’s nice.” 

“Yeah, I like it,” Fox agreed and she grinned at him. 

Everything, save for the artificial tree, had been taken out of the wagon and unboxed and unbagged. They had been set on the dining room table and Fox had told Ivy to put the items anywhere she wanted. She had looked at him in disbelief and he had nodded with a smile. 

“You get to pick. Wherever you want to put them out,” he had assured her. 

She had walked around the table and the apartment, taking her time to make the decisions. Rearranging things at times, she had begun to place items, her eyes finding his and seeking approval. He had nodded encouragingly and she had grinned, nodding as she looked at the decoration. 

“Do you want this one by your bed?” Ivy now asked, picking up a smiling ceramic snowman that was holding a red bird on his stick finger. “He’s so happy.” 

“Ivy, no,” Dana said, starting to take the tree from the box. “Not the bedroom. It’s fine to have decorations there at our house, but we’ve discussed the bedrooms of other adults.” She looked at Ivy and she nodded seriously. 

“I know, Mommy. That’s why I was asking.” Ivy nodded again and Fox smiled, wanting to smooth things over.  

“Hey, how about the bathroom instead? Maybe the shelf? Or ohhh, how about in the shower? No one would ever expect to see that when they got in to take a shower. That might make them laugh.” 

“Oh! That’s a great idea!” Ivy said, turning to run to the bathroom and they heard her opening the shower door and giggling. 

“I told her she shouldn’t go into the bedrooms of adults,” Dana explained softly and he nodded. “For many different reasons.” 

“As you should,” Fox agreed, coming to help her with the tree. 

“My parents, though they always allowed us into their room, didn’t like us letting friends inside. I want her to have that same respect and not go into rooms she shouldn’t.” 

“Completely understandable,” Fox said, nodding his head. “My parents had an open/shut door policy. If it was open, everything was kosher, but if it was shut, you had to knock and be allowed entry. And absolutely no friends were allowed inside at any time.” 

“I had friends who let me into their parents' room without any concern, but it always made me feel anxious, like I was doing something wrong. As if I would get caught and be in trouble.” She smiled at him and he smiled back. 

“I understand how you feel. I think it’s good that she knows. For all the reasons.” He looked at her and she nodded in understanding. 

“The snowman looks good in the shower,” Ivy said, bouncing back into the room with a giggle. 

“Fantastic,” Fox said, clapping his hands together. “Now, Miss Ivy… we have the tree out and ready to be assembled, but where do you think we should put it?” 

“Right by the window,” she said quickly, running over to stand by the window, as though she had already been thinking about it. “That way when people look at it from other buildings, they will see it shining brightly.” She tipped her back and smiled, her arms outstretched.

“Well, then that’s settled,” he said, bringing over the pieces of the tree and setting them down. 

“Wait a second,” he said, snapping his fingers. “What have I been thinking? We need some Christmas music!” He smiled at Ivy and turned on the television, setting it to a Christmas music station and clapping his hands together. “Okay, let’s put this tree together. You keep setting out the decorations, Miss Ivy. Surprise us with your choices.” 

“Okay!” she said excitedly and he laughed. 

“The tree can be a little tricky,” Dana said, coming to stand beside him. “It’s kind of temperamental sometimes. I pinched myself with it once and had a blood blister for a few days.” 

“And you’ve decided to loan it to me? How very kind of you,” he teased, picking up the stand, putting it together, and adding the bottom piece. 

“Stubborn things and I go well together. I find the challenge satisfying,” she said, handing him the next piece with a smile and he chuckled. 

“I’ll be careful with the remaining pieces. Thanks for the warning.” She laughed and he looked at her with a smile. “Thank you for all of this, Dana. I wasn’t planning on doing anything. Not because of anything other than I just…” He shrugged and let out a breath. “It’s just me here and… well…” He shrugged again and she nodded in understanding. 

“I know. I doubt I’d have it all out if it was just me. Well, maybe just a few things, as it’s my favorite holiday, but also…” She shrugged and smiled again. “It’s fun with kids around. Allows you to have a large collection of snowmen without people questioning or judging you.” 

He laughed as he nodded and added the next piece of the tree. The top was handed to him and he smiled at her as he caught sight of Ivy waving a finger back and forth between two Santas. Landing on one, she grinned, picked it up, and walked into the kitchen. He smiled again and shook his head as he carefully added the last piece to the tree. 

Finished with it, he went to plug it in and found the cord would not reach the outlet without moving the tree or requiring the use of an extension cord. 

“Hmm,” he said, moving the tree and plugging it in, but not liking the placement of it. “I don’t think I have an extension cord. I’ll have to get one later.” 

“Or it could stay there,” Dana said as they looked at it, and he shook his head. 

“Nah, it needs to be in the window. I like it there too. I’ll get one la…” He broke off as he looked out onto the balcony and then to the dining room table. “There aren’t any lights in the stuff you brought, right?” 

“No. Why?” 

“Hmm… I think I may need to make a list. Now that I have all this up,” he said, waving a hand around. “I feel like I need to add more. Lights on the balcony, maybe some framing the window in here…” He raised his eyebrows and she laughed. 

“I fear we’ve created a monster.” 

“Do you want to come with me to find some more decorations?” he asked, feeling suddenly nervous. She smiled slowly and nodded her head. 

“I think we can do that,” she said softly and he let out a deep breath as he nodded. 

__________________

Two hours later, they came back. Laughing as they took off shoes and coats, they once again unloaded the wagon and set things onto the table. 

Boxes of colorful lights were brought onto the balcony and set onto the coffee table. Fox took them out and he and Ivy carefully wrapped them through the slats and around the top of the railings. When he plugged them in, she sighed happily and nodded her head. 

They placed them around the window in and outside of the apartment, using little nails to hold the strands in place. He only hit his thumb once, but it was hard enough to bring tears to his eyes as he bit back the litany of curse words that wanted to escape. Dana rubbed his back, her lips pursed tightly together and mirth in her eyes, but she did not laugh. 

When everything was done and all the trash was thrown away, they sat on the couch while the winter sun went down. The room was full of the glow of Christmas lights as they ate bowls of the unicorn cotton candy ice cream. It was as sweet as he remembered, but he ate it all the same, smiling as he looked around the apartment. 

“It looks really great in here,” he said. “Thank you both for awakening the Christmas spirit in me.” 

“You’re welcome,” Ivy said, smacking her lips and wiping her mouth on the napkin beside her. 

“How does it feel in here, Ivy?” he asked, smiling down at her. 

She looked at the multicolored lights on the windows, the white ones on the artificial tree, and the yellowish lights coming from the small rotating village that sat on his desk. Her gaze traveled to the many figurines they could see, and finally landed on the Santa throw pillow on the couch. His cheeks were pink and he was grinning with a twinkle in his eyes. 

She let out a deep breath and laid her head against Fox’s arm, her ice cream forgotten for the moment. 

“It feels… revder… rev… reverent,” she said softly and he grinned as he exhaled a breath through his nose. 

“It does indeed,” he agreed, just as softly, his eyes on his bowl of ice cream before he looked around again, enjoying the quiet of the moment. 

All too soon, reality came calling, however. Dana and Ivy had to get home as Ivy had school in the morning. 

Bundling up, they all headed out, Ivy riding in the wagon as Fox pulled it. They played a game along the way, finding Christmas items that started with letters of the alphabet, laughing when they argued over who got them first. 

He fumbled with folding the wagon in the lobby of their building and Dana had to take over, teasing him over the ease of it. She took it down to the basement to put it away while he walked Ivy upstairs. 

Ivy hopped from one foot to the other as they waited at the front door, talking about school the next day. 

“Mondays are fun days. We get to bring things to share and we have extra reading time after lunch.” 

“That sounds fun,” he said and she stopped hopping to look up at him. 

“That’s why it’s Monday Fun Day.” 

“Oh,” he chuckled. “I see.” 

“Yeah,” she said, resuming her hopping. 

Dana arrived and he said goodnight to them, not wanting to keep them from their nightly tasks. Ivy hugged him tightly and then smiled as she ran inside, calling out her goodbyes. 

“Thank you again,” he said to Dana as she watched Ivy. Turning back to him, she smiled with a nod. 

“You’re welcome, again.” 

“You two have a nice rest of your night. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled and she stepped forward to hug him, letting out a breath as he held her close. 

“Tomorrow,” she echoed, her voice muffled by his coat. He smiled and nodded, stepping back and letting her go. 

“Goodnight,” he said softly and she sighed as she nodded back. 

“Goodnight.” 

“Mommy, can I take a bubble bath?” Ivy called and he laughed quietly as Dana sighed. 

“Bye.” 

“Goodbye,” she said, stepping into the apartment and smiling as she reached for the door. “Yes, you can have a bath.” She waved and he nodded, waiting for the door to close before he headed down the stairs. 

His steps were heavy as he walked home, following the same path they had taken. He saw the Christmas items from their alphabet game and he sighed, feeling overwhelmingly alone and lonely. 

The warmly lit apartment was cozy and welcoming, but too quiet with just him moving about. He spent some time looking again at the decorations Dana and Ivy had brought over, smiling at the places Ivy had chosen to display them. 

In the kitchen, he found the penguin that Ivy had told him she liked best sitting beside Oink. It was an adorable penguin with pink cheeks, wearing a Santa hat, and holding a small lantern in its flippers. Half of Ivy’s rainbow bracelets were now around the penguin’s neck, the other half still around Oink’s neck. 

He smiled at the sight of them, before sighing deeply and shaking his head, the silence in his apartment now enveloping him and seeming far too loud. 

[saamnangg]

Week 4: Progress Update

Typology of Third Place Defined

Throughout the last week, I’ve managed to define the type of third place I am focused on studying and working with. Multiscalar third place that has some form of “activity, hobby, entertainment”, sales/revenue (books, cafe, bar), and actively tries to bring community/people together. (intentional gathering)

Ryder Grad Studio

Sent out some emails inquiring about funding to activate the graduate studio without having to fund the experiment out of pocket. Waiting for responses back before trying to start creating programming, etc. 

Project Evolution:

Historical Context and Community Engagement

While trying to choose an area and find a building to implement my proposed design interventions and solutions in, I realized that I also have to do some research on the neighborhood that I plan to work in. Areas like Chinatown and Downtown Crossing have a long spanning history of residents and local organizations fighting for third places although they may not use the exact terminology.

Examples of existing groups that work for implementing the existence of third places and etc. are the Asian Community Development Corporation in Chinatown, and the Downtown Boston Business Improvement District in Downtown Crossing. 

Narrowing Down Neighborhood

At first, I had thought of choosing a building in Downtown Crossing (DTX) to use as my design project, but after doing some research I found that DTX is too complicated of an area to use. For example, DTX has a history attached to it being known as the “Combat Zone” aka a red light district that hosted adult entertainment and businesses while also known for its crime and violence. 

Additionally, there is a large number of homeless people in DTX thanks to the Boston government’s effort of “cracking down” on the homeless community that was located at Mass and Cass (Massachusetts Avenue and Melnea Cass Boulevard) who then moved to DTX. 

With the aforementioned, I believe there are too many large scale systemic issues that I would have to face in order to work with DTX as my site that can’t be dealt with in a six month master’s thesis. 

The search for an area continues but I realize that it has to be done quickly since my project does require I engage with the community and local organizations. Very time-sensitive. 

Reflections

Looking at the surroundings of a building helps better inform my decisions before choosing a building/site. If I implemented a third place in DTX who would use it and how would it be used? The real answer to that question would assuredly be different from the one that I propose. 

While continuing to look for a site, I’ll note down the communities and types of people that are there to see who I would be working with. Maybe the Financial District is the next area to look at. The Financial District as far as I know is noticeably empty, especially outside of a 9-5 timespan. Also has a lack of retail and restaurant buildings unless they are lunch places. 

Next Steps

I need to choose a site ASAP that works well with my design intervention/ideas for a third place. 

Research the Financial District

More on-foot observation to choose a site

Keep emailing Kristian for a response about the graduate studio budget 

Create some posters for programming and events to bring XD/IDDV students together in the graduate studio. 

The context of my project has changed so I have to redefine or figure out the question once again 

[atlafan]

The Tutor - One Shot

a/n: based off this ask! I’m real happy with this one y’all. I’m happy to present tutor!Harry x hockey player!y/n, a nice little college au. Friends to lovers if you wanna categorize it. Enjoy! Reblogs and feedback are always super helpful. (semi-proofread, sorry in advance for any mistakes) 

Warnings: fluff and smut, partying, alcohol consumption

Words: 24.5K

Part Two Part Three

“This psychology professor is out to fucking get me!” Y/N groans as she plops down on her couch. “I don’t understand the books we’re reading, and he doesn’t even lecture from the powerpoints so I never have any idea what to write down.”

“Y/N, who the fuck told you to take a psych class anyways?” Amanda says to her.

“I thought it would be an easy gen ed for my science requirement. I didn’t want to take a fucking lab science, that would have been worse!”

“It’s only the beginning of the semester.” Gina says. “You should sign up for a tutor now before it gets so bad that coach benches you.”

“Goddammit!” She yells as she gets up. “I’m headed to the tutoring office, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Why there wasn’t an online form for tutoring she’ll never know. Y/N couldn’t risk getting a bad grade in her psych class. Hockey was her life, and she was a sophomore now so that meant she had more of a chance for playing time. Not to mention she worked her ass off over the summer, and her coach has been noticing her improvements at the few practices they’ve had.

She enters the tutoring office and the woman at the front desk gives her a form to fill out. She has to put down the class, who’s teaching it, and what she’s specifically having trouble with.

“Thanks, Y/N.” The woman smiles brightly. “We’ll email a student that received a B+ or better in this class, and then they’ll email you to coordinate a time to meet. You can meet in here, or the library, or wherever works best for you.”

“Okay, thank you.” She sighs and leaves to go back to her student apartment.

She felt lucky not to be in a dorm this year, but Y/N couldn’t wait to get an off campus apartment with the other hockey girls next year. For now, the on campus apartment will do. Her and her friends change to go to the gym, make dinner together when they get back, and head to the library to do their homework. This was another thing that Y/N liked about being on the hockey team, no one was ever left behind.

//

From: Harry Styles

To: Y/F/N Y/L/N

Subject: Tutoring

Hello Y/N,

My name’s Harry, the tutoring office sent me an email saying you needed help with Mind, Brain, and Evolution. That’s definitely a tricky class! I’m more than happy to help, I managed to get an A- in that class somehow. When works best for you? I’ll do my best to work around your schedule.

Best,

Harry

Harry Styles

Sociology Major/Applied Ethics Minor

Student Senate

Y/N rubs her eyes to check the time the email came through. 6:30AM. Who the fuck wakes up that early to send an email, and what normal student had an email signature? She rolls her eyes when she sees he’s on student senate. Curiosity gets the better of her, so she looks him up on Instagram. His account was private so she heads over to Facebook. She could only see his profile picture. It looked like it was from over the summer. He has a huge smile on his face, sunglasses on, a white t-shirt and short, yellow swim trunks. He was holding up a fish he caught.

“God help me.” She groans.

To: Harry Styles

From: Y/F/N Y/L/N

Subject: Re: Tutoring

Hey Harry,

I’d like to start ASAP. I’m on the hockey team, so I have ice times early in the morning, and evening work outs. I’m usually free from 2-4PM most days. We could meet at the library at 2 today if that works for you. Also, just feel free to text me, I’m not always great with email, tbh. xxx-xxx-xxxx

Thanks!

Y/N

Y/N stretches and gets out of bed. Her, Amanda, and Gina all head down to the ice arena for their early ice time. Once that’s done the three shower up, and head back to campus for their first class. Luckily, they were all business majors, so they were able to sign up for a lot of the same classes.

“Hey, did your tutor reach out to you yet?” Amanda asks.

“Yeah, it’s Harry Styles. He emailed me super early this morning, like right when I woke up for practice basically. He’s on student senate, so I’m not surprised.”

“Well, at least he reached out already.” Gina says.

The three sit down, and Y/N checks her phone before throwing it in her bag

Unknown Number, maybe Harry Styles: Hey Y/N! It’s Harry. I got your email, so I wanted to text you like you asked. 2PM works great for me today. Wanna meet in the café first and then we can find a spot?

Y/N: hey, yeah, sounds good, see you then!

The day goes by mostly normal. Y/N gets through her couple of classes, has a large lunch with the team, takes a quick power nap, and heads to the library café to meet Harry. She could certainly use an afternoon pick me up to get through the tutoring before her evening workout.

When she walks into the café she smirks to herself seeing Harry already there. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a blue t-shirt. His hair was a little longer than in his profile picture, Y/N could really make out his soft curls. He was wearing a pair of glasses and looking down at his phone.

“Um, Harry?” She walks over to him and he looks up. He gives her a warm smile. She takes a moment to notice he has a number of tattoos on his left arm. Much more prominent now than in the one photo she was able to view.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah.”

“Great to meet you. Your first coffee’s on me, what can I get you?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that?”

“I insist.”

“If anyone should be buying coffee it’s me. You’re gonna have your work cut out for you with me.” She sighs.

“Nonsense, I think it’s great you reached out for help. Now tell me, what’s your drink?”

Y/N tells Harry she’ll have an iced coffee and he nods. He gets them both an iced coffee, and he gives her a moment to add her cream and sugar.

“You seriously drink that black?”

“Yeah, it’s how I have it at home, I’m just used to it.” He shrugs.

Right, he was an international student from England. She follows him into the main area of the library and they find a table to set up at.

“Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

“Be my guest.” She says flatly.

As he sits down she’s able to get a whiff of his cologne, and it actually smelled good. Like vanilla, but spicy? She now sort of wished she wasn’t in her workout clothes, and dressed a little nicer.

“So, what’s your major?” He asks as he pulls his laptop out.

“Business…I saw that yours is Sociology?”

“Mhm.” He smiles and opens his computer.

“What is Applied Ethics?”

“Oh! Glad to know you actually read all the way to the bottom.” He chuckles. “It’s just ethics, but with practical ways to apply it. I just picked it up this year so I’m taking a class called Creative Problem Solving in Ethics, and then I can take classes about business ethics or medical ethics or whatever else. I like it a lot.”

“What made you want to add that?”

“A lot of the classes double count in my major so I just figured why not?” He shrugs. “Enough about me. Why business?”

“My mom owns her own business and I’m hoping to take it over when I’m older.”

“What type of business is it?”

“It’s just bar.” She shrugs. “But she’s owned since I was a kid, and we want it to be a family business. I have a couple of younger siblings in high school and they feel the same way. I work there on breaks.”

“You’re allowed to work in a bar?”

“You can be eighteen to serve alcohol. I’ve only got another year and a half to go until I’m twenty-one anyways.”

“You’re a sophomore?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, me too.” He smiles. “And you said you’re on the hockey team?”

“Yup.” She squints at him. “You’re on student senate, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What is with you guys always going to the men’s hockey games? You guys never come to ours. It’s a little annoying, to be honest. I noticed it last year.”

“Well, to be fair, I never go to hockey games, I don’t really care for the sport.” He runs a hand through his hair as her mouth forms into a straight line. “But I can certainly talk to the group to see if they’d be willing to go to your games too. Everyone deserves spectators.”

“Do you like any sports?”

“I don’t mind soccer…but other than that, not really. Oh! I love the Packers, but I only watch their games.”

“You seem to be a fit guy, so you must do something to stay in shape.”

“I run on the treadmill at the gym.” He blushes slightly. “And then I’ll lift a few weights, nothing crazy. Do you, uh, have your books with you? We should probably get started.”

“And here I was thinking I could distract you with small talk.”

Y/N takes her books out and sets up her own laptop. She explains that everything just feels confusing, and that it’s difficult to follow along in class. Harry listens and tries to give her some tips on how to deal with the professor. He takes out his old notes, and she sees the units are the exact same. He explains what he found helpful to remember for the tests.

“Now, I can’t just give you these, but we can use them to help you study. He may have updated the tests since I took them, but we can use my answers to give you an idea of what he’s looking for.”

“How were you able to do so well?”

“I have to take a couple of psychology classes for my major, so I took this as a gen ed. I already knew a ton of stuff about the brain, and the rest wasn’t too difficult, but I know psych isn’t for everyone, so I hope you don’t feel…stupid or anything because you’re not.”

“How do you know?” She smirks. “I could be a real buffoon.”

“To make it through this school’s business program I’m pretty sure you need a brain.” He nudges her. He checks his watch and sees it’s ten of four. “Wow, I can’t believe we used up the two hours.”

“Sorry.” She mumbles as she packs up.

“No! It’s great, actually. I get paid by the hour so it’s no skin off my nose. When do you want to get together again?”

“Maybe we could do this on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

“Works for me, I’ll put you in my calendar so it’s a standing thing. I can send you the calendar invite too.”

“You’re very…professional, Harry.”

“Thanks.” He smiles and stands up.

She didn’t exactly mean it as a compliment, but she wasn’t going to correct him. They walk out of the library together and then go their separate ways. Harry was nice enough, and he was a decent tutor so far, so it wouldn’t be totally painful to meet up with him. It just annoyed Y/N that a fucking gen ed was stressing her out so much. 

//

A couple of weeks go by, and Harry puts in the hours with Y/N. She had her first big test coming up, and her first home game. Harry was a great study partner, he really helped put her at ease.

“You’re going to do great, I can feel it.”

“Thanks.”

“So…your first home game, are you excited?”

“I’m super excited! I’m starting this season. I just hope we have some people in the stands to cheer.”

Harry hums his response and nods.

“Well, I hope it’s a good game.”

The next day, Y/N takes her test, and she was surprised to see that she actually knew her stuff. For once she left the classroom feeling good. This helped pump her up for her game. When the team leaves the locker room they’re all stunned to see the arena packed. It was never like this for their games. Y/N looks around and sees all of the kids from student senate, including Harry, cheering for them. The arena was full of their school colors and signs. It was quite a sight to see.

Needless to say, the girls won. With all that support and cheering, who wouldn’t be able to play their best? The older girls on the team say there’s going to be a victory party at their apartment tonight. Y/N couldn’t wait. She changes quickly in the locker room, and heads up to campus with Amanda and Gina to get ready.

“I love when Ashley hosts parties, she invites the hottest girls.” Amanda says.

“Oh, is someone hoping to get lucky tonight?” Y/N teases her.

“Don’t I deserve it? I did score a goal.”

“You sure did, with help from me.” Y/N grins.

“Alright, so then maybe you deserve to get some head then.”

Y/N and Gina burst out laughing.

“Right, because guys are just dying to get on their knees for me.” She rolls her eyes.

“Oh! You should invite Harry out. He must have had something to do with why so many people were there, right?”

“I have no idea. I only mentioned once that it annoyed me, but now that I think about it some girls from the soccer team said they had a lot people at their home game the other day.”

“Same with the field hockey girls.” Gina says. “I hope some of them come out tonight. There’s this one girl, Leigh, oh my god I wanna wife her up.”

Y/N laughs and shakes her head. She puts on a black, short pencil skirt and pairs it with a black lacey crop top. She straightens her hair and does her makeup. Amanda and Gina make noises and tell her how sexy she looks. They do a couple of shots, and then make their way to Ashley’s. Once all of the hickey girls are there, they cheer and do shots together.

The apartment was getting more and more packed. Y/N notices the senior class president talking with Ashley, and it made her wonder if anyone else from senate was there. She ends up slamming into something hard. When she looks up she sees Harry in front of her. Although, he looks much different. No glasses, an almost see through white t-shirt so the tattoos on his chest and stomach were more visible, and black jeans with some tan boots.

“Hey, Y/N! That was a great game!”

“Thanks! I was surprised to see you there!”

“We…! Hold on!.” He grips her wrist and tugs her into the kitchen where it was slightly less loud. “Jesus, could barely hear myself think.” He chuckles. “Anyways, yeah, you sort of inspired me to start an initiative.” She watches him grab two red cups and go into Ashley’s freezer. “Want some vodka? We brought our own.”

“As long as there’s something to mix it with…”

“Cranberry juice?”

“Works for me.”

She watches him carefully as he makes the drinks, and hands her a cup. They clink them together and they both take a sip.

“Tell me about this initiative.”

“Well, I sort of felt bad when you said no one ever comes to your games, and it made me think of the other women’s teams. The senior class president is a girl so I brought it up to her first, and she told me it would be a great idea to try and get other clubs to come cheer on the teams. It took a lot of planning in a short amount of time. We definitely had the largest turnout at your game, I think it’s because you can actually sit down and get snacks.” He takes another sip of his drink. “Were you surprised?”

“Very, that was really nice of you.”

“And we’re going to keep doing it too. Definitely wasn’t a one time thing. I actually enjoyed watching you. Um, all of you.”

“Right.” She smiles as she takes a sip. “Can I ask…how did you get an invite here?”

“Kelly made it happen. She spoke to your captain…uh, Ashley? She sort of filled her in and asked if we could pack the arena if senate could come to the party.” He looks out to the living room full of people. “Are there usually this many girls? I’m not complaining, I just figured the hockey guys would be here.”

“They usually show up later, a lot of them end up in the basement where the beer pong and dancing is. There’s a lot of girls here because more than half the team are into girls.” She laughs and takes another sip. “Damn, you really know how to mix a drink, this is good.”

“Thanks.” He takes another sip of his own. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Into girls.”

“Not in that way, no. Although, sometimes I wish I was.”

“Why’s that?” They’re closer to the wall near the doorframe, and Harry places one of his hands on the wall so he can stand a little closer to her. People were walking by them so it’s not like they were the only people in the kitchen.

“Because guys always assume I’m a lesbian or something because I play hockey, so they don’t even bother looking at me.”

“That’s too bad.” He looks her up and down. “You’re quite a sight to see, and I don’t just mean because you’re all dressed up tonight.”

Y/N blushes slightly. She was suddenly painfully aware of how close Harry was to her. Was he flirting? Making a move? Did she want him to? Was he just drunk? Was she drunk?

“You…you look nice tonight too.” She tugs on the hem of his shirt. “You have a lot of tattoos.”

“Does it surprise you?”

“A little. I’m even surprised to see you out like this.”

“Just because I take school seriously doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun.” His lips curl up as the song changes. “Do you wanna go downstairs and dance?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

She leads him down the stairs to the stuffy basement where a ton of sweaty people were dancing and playing pong. Whoever had the aux tonight was a genius, playing bop after bop after bop. Traphouse was just starting to play. Y/N was hoping for less of a slow grind to start off with for her and Harry, but oh well. She downs the rest of her drink and tosses the cup somewhere. Harry’s eyebrows raise, but he does the same. If she didn’t care, why should he?

Harry easily was a foot taller than her, especially with him wearing his boots. His hands find her hips and hers hook around his neck. He steps to put his leg between hers so she could grind on his thigh. He clearly knew what he was doing, and she was sort of impressed. Even though he was right there in front of her, it was still hard to think of Harry as someone who partied.  

She presses her head into his chest as they get going, and his head dips down to rest against hers. Getting to smell his cologne this close was making her feel even more intoxicated then she was. The song fades into Shake It by Metro Station and they both start giggling. Y/N steps away and starts singing the lyrics and so does Harry, not that they could hear each other. They dance like idiots and laugh a lot. That songs fades into Acquainted by The Weeknd. Y/N turns around and grabs Harry’s hands to put on her hips. He presses his pelvis to her ass, bending slightly at the knees so they were lined up. She moves her hips in perfect rhythm to the song and he follows right along with her. He feels himself growing tighter in his jeans, but he doesn’t do anything to suppress it, and she doesn’t mind one bit. If anything, it makes her press back harder on him. That song was just too powerful. Her head rolls back to chest as they continue to grind, and he hides his face in her neck. In a moment of bravery he starts kissing on her. One of her hands hooks around him so she can tug at his hair. He bites down and a slight moan leaves her lips. He pops off her and she turns around to face him. She presses her body close to his and keeps her arms around his neck. His hands are low on her back, just above her bum. He looks down at her and she leans up further so their lips can touch.

He tastes like the vodka cranberry that he was drinking earlier as she licks at his bottom lip. He opens up for her and she licks into his mouth. His tongue meets hers and he pulls her as close to him as he can. Things were getting heated quickly, especially as they continued to grind on each other. When the song ends they stop to look at each other. He leans down to her ear.

“Do you wanna go back to my place?”

“Yes.” She nods and he smiles.

He takes her hand in his and they both go upstairs. Y/N finds Gina and Amanda to let them know she was going over to Harry’s. Now, not that Y/N was living a lie, but she was definitely still a virgin. She had made out with plenty of guys, but that’s all. Her friends knew this so they both ask to make sure she was certain she wanted to go back with him. She assured them that she did. As they leave, Harry puts his arm around her shoulders, and she puts hers around his waist.

“I don’t live too far from here.”

“You’re off campus?”

“Mhm.”

“How?”

“I live with some of the other international students. Some of them are older, it just worked out.”

“Must be nice, I can’t wait to get off campus next year.”

“The privacy is definitely nice.” He says as he pulls her closer.

They walk up the steps to his apartment and he keys in. He pulls her up a set of stairs and down a hall that leads to his room, and he unlocks that door as well. Just as she thought, his room was neat and tidy. Even his bed was made. It was a decent sized bed too, a full, way better than her extra-long twin.

“Wanna listen to some music? I have, like, every record you could think of.” He walks over to his record player and she crosses her arms.

“Of course you have a record player?” She rolls her eyes.

“What? The sound quality is better.” He side eyes her. “Come here, come pick out what you want to listen to, I’m gonna grab us some water.”

“Okay.”

He slips out of the door and she hears him do down the stairs. She flips through the various records, rolling her eyes once in a while, and then she settles on Marvin Gaye.

“Subtle.” He smirks as he comes in with two glasses of water.

“What? I didn’t like anything else.” She takes a glass from him and takes a decent sip.

“Sure.” He chuckles and sets his glass down on his desk, she moves to do the same.

One of his hands finds her hip, and the other cups her jaw. He leans in to kiss her and it was like they never parted in the first place. She tugs him back towards his bed and they both fall onto it. She gets herself back so her head is on his pillows. He kicks his boots off, (her flats fell off when she got on the bed), and he hovers over her. His lips find her collar bone and he starts to suck on her skin. She gasps but lets him continue. He plants wet kisses around her upper chest and throat. Her hands were running through his hair. What’s Going On was playing in the background, and Harry’s hands were running up her thighs.

Her legs are parted, and Harry grinds himself against her. She pulls his face to hers so they can kiss. She didn’t know how many roommates he had so she didn’t want anyone to hear her moan out. He sucks on her bottom lip as his bulge continues to press against hers. How was he so good at this? How much action did he get? He was a sophomore like her, but how old was he actually?

“How, how old are you?”

“What?” He laughs.

“How old are you?” She repeats. 

“I’ll be twenty in February, why?”

“Just wondering…um, you said some of your roommates are older so…”

“Y/N, I promise if I were a lot older, I wouldn’t be trying to fuck some nineteen year old.” He smirks. “You are nineteen, right?”

“Yeah.” She smiles.

A wave of relief covers her body as he starts to kiss on her neck again. She couldn’t believe the guy that’s been tutoring her was doing this to her. She could feel how wet she was getting. He groans into her neck as he grinds into her again. She feels his hands go up under her pencil skirt and grab onto her panties.

“Harry, wait!” She gasps. “Don’t!”

He lets go immediately and sits back on his calves so he can look at her. She closes her legs and sits up against the wall.

“Sorry, was I moving too fast?”

“No, it’s just…I thought I was ready for this, but I don’t think I am.”

“Oh…” He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, that’s okay. We don’t need to do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“Are you sure? You’re not mad?” She chews on her bottom lip. He was probably hoping to get laid tonight and she just ruined that for him.

“Mad?! I’d be pissed if we did something you didn’t feel comfortable with. I’m not mad, Y/N. It’s really no problem. Do you want me to take you home?”

“No, I wanna keep making out.” She mumbles and it makes him smile. “I like the way you kiss.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He sits next to her and pats his thighs. She swings her leg over so she can straddle him. She pecks at his lips as her hands tug at his shirt.

“I wouldn’t mind if your shirt came off either…if you wanted.”

“Sure.” He stretches to get it off and he tosses it aside.

She runs her hands up and down his torso, tracing his tattoos, as his hands clasp around her back. She presses her lips to his neck and he sighs. She sucks on the spot just below his ear and he pulls her closer. He presses his hips up to hers so their grinding against each other again. She kisses along his jaw until her lips are on his again. He sucks on her tongue and it makes her moan against him. She tugs at his hair again and he has all he can do to not lose it in his pants. She was rubbing herself on his bulge in just the right way, she could feel the knot in her stomach growing more and more.

“Oh god.” She grunts and hides her face in his neck.

“Almost there?” His hands move to her hips to help her move on him.

“Y, yeah, I think so.” She was panting. “Shit, H, Harry.”

“Don’t fight it, it’s alright.” He grunts as he presses her down as close as possible on him.

She cries out into his neck and she slows her own movements as she works through it. She twitches on top of him during her aftershocks and then she just clings to him. He rubs her back to soothe her. He wasn’t sure if someone else had ever given her an orgasm before so he didn’t want her to feel freaked out or anything.

“Kiss me.” He whispers.

She presses her swollen lips to his and she whimpers. He was incredibly hard and he needed to go relieve himself before he got blue balls.

“Y/N?” He says against her lips.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind if I just go use the bathroom quickly? And then I’ll come right back to you.”

“Okay.” He gently lifts her off of him and her eyes grow wide when she sees his bulge. She was also slightly embarrassed because even though he was wearing black jeans, she could see where her wetness got onto him. “You can wear this if you want…” He rifles through his drawers for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

“Oh, um, thank you.”

“Be back in a sec.”

He quickly leaves the room and she changes into his clothes. She really needed to pee herself, but she didn’t want to walk around his apartment alone. She patiently waits for him, scrolling on her phone, and he returns. There was a new sheen of sweat on his chest, and his bulge was gone. He goes into his drawer for a new pair of boxers.

“Would you care if I just stay in these? It’s a little hot in here.”

“Yeah, I don’t care. Um, would it be weird if I asked you to walk me to the bathroom?”

“Not at all! Come on, love.”

She smiles at the pet name. He used it a couple of times when he was tutoring her, but now it felt especially good. Harry thought she was cute. His big bad hockey player had gotten all soft around him. He walks her down to the bathroom and he changes in the hallway quickly, feeling relief from his clean pair of boxers. He also couldn’t help but smirk to himself thinking of how large his clothes were on her. Y/N uses the toilet and then uses some of the mouthwash on the sink before opening the door.

“All set?” Harry whispers.

“Mhm.”

She tries not to stare at his almost naked body as they walk back to his room. He flips the light off as she crawls into bed, and he grabs his laptop. She watches as he opens up Disney Plus.

“I’ve been watching Hannah Montana, do you feel like watching that?”

“Are you serious?” She laughs.

“Yeah! I’m fucking sick of people making references and me having zero idea what they’re talking about. Her songs are all over tik tok and I never understand.”

“Well, lucky for you I love this show, so I’d be happy to watch.”

“Good.” He smiles and hits play. He sets the laptop up at the end of the bed, and throws an arm around her. He strokes her arm lightly with his fingers that she noticed he painted black tonight.

“So…that wasn’t weird?”

“What?” He asks without looking at her.

“Um…me…doing that on you?”

“You mean when you came from grinding on me? No, it wasn’t weird.” He smirks and looks down at her. “It was pretty hot actually.”

“Did you…take care of yourself?”

“Yeah, is that weird?”

“No.” He kisses the top of her head. “You’re okay that I didn’t offer?”

“You pretty clearly said you weren’t ready to do that, so it’s fine.”

“I’ve never, um, taken my pants off for someone before…my top either.” She blushes. The alcohol in her system was making her a little too honest.

Harry sighs and reaches forward to pause the show. He sits back and looks at her.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. Whether you’ve had sex before or not, you didn’t want to tonight and that’s okay. I should have asked first before grabbing at you like that, so I apologize.”

“No! No, it was okay, I just got nervous. I thought…I mean…when we were at the party I really thought I wanted to, I don’t know what happened. It got real all of a sudden and I panicked.”

“I like you, Y/N, I don’t mind waiting.”

“What do you mean you like me?”

“I mean I’ve had a fucking crush on you since the first time I tutored you. I didn’t know if you’d feel the same way, so I just kept it to myself.”

“Oh.” A boy had never liked Y/N like this before. Sure, she had found random drunk guys to make out with at parties before, but a boy had never openly said they liked her. “This is all so surprising, I’m a little overwhelmed.” She looks up at him and kisses his cheek. “But…I really liked what we did tonight, so maybe when I’m more sober we could talk about these feelings of yours more?”

“I’d like that.” He smiles and pecks her lips.

“Hit play, this is a good episode. She thinks her dad wrote a song about a bunny that stole his money.”

“Do hijinks ensue?”

“Oh, yes, many.”

“Fantastic.”

He leans forward to hit play, and she cuddles up with him.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up with Harry’s arms wrapped around her. It was early. She squints and sees his clock says 7:15. Her head and stomach didn’t feel great, but she easily could have felt worse so she wasn’t complaining. She adjusts against him and turns over to lay on her back. His hand moves to the side of her neck, and he gives her cheek a few smooches, making her giggle.

“Morning.” His morning voice ripples through her. Harry was sexy, it was official.

“Morning.” She whispers.

“Wanna go to the dining hall for breakfast?”

“Could I stop by my apartment first?”

“Sure.” He gets out of bed and looks for something in his dresser. “Here.” He tosses her some sweatpants. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower.”

When he comes back she’s wearing her crop top paired with his sweats. She put his other clothes in his hamper. His towel was hanging low on his hips. He grabs some clothes and changes in his closet. He comes back out in a hoodie and joggers. He cleans his glasses and puts them on.

“You won’t be cold?”

“Nah, it’ll be fine.”

They leave his place and walk to hers. Campus was always interesting this time of morning. There were other people walking back to their dorms and apartments. Y/N felt lucky she wasn’t walking alone.

“This is me.”

“Oh cool, you have student app. I’ve been to a couple of these, they’re nice.”

“Yeah, I have my own room, it’s just annoying that we still have to follow all the rules.” She unlocks the door and he stands outside with his hands in his pockets. “You can come in if you want? You can come up and wait in my room.”

“Alright.”

They both go in and head up the stairs. She was thankful her room was mostly clean, but her bed certainly wasn’t made. She grabs another shirt to change into and tells Harry she’s just gonna be in the bathroom. He sits on her bed and looks around her room. All of her hockey gear was piled up in a corner, she had posters of different teams she liked, and she had a poster of Dylan O’Brien from when he was on Teen Wolf.

She comes back shortly in a sports bra and his sweats, and her hair up in a messy bun. She throws on a hoodie of her own, and smiles at him.

“Okay, I’m all set.”

“Great, I’m starved. Definitely need a coffee too.”

“Oh, for sure.”

Just as she opens the door to go outside, she sees Amanda.

“Wait, I thought you stayed at his place.” She says.

“I did, we just came back here so I could change.”

“Those aren’t your pants.” She smirks. “Hi, Harry.” She teases.

“Hi, um, I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Amanda.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Where’s Gina?” Y/N asks.

“Passed out in her bed, I think. I made sure she got home before hooking up with this girl from the soccer team. My god, Y/N, she-“ Amanda stops herself. “I’ll tell you later, I need to shower. Where are you headed?”

“Dhall.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Y/N smiles and shakes her head at her friend. Her and Harry walk to the dining hall and swipe in. They decide on where to sit before going up to grab food.

“So, what other Disney shows are you going to catch up on?” She asks as she sips on her coffee once they’re at their table.

“I think That’s So Raven is up next.”

“Oh, excellent choice.” She smiles. He rests his elbow on the table, chin in his palm. He can’t stop smiling at her. “What?” She asks, shoveling eggs into her mouth.

“Nothing, I just think you’re cute.”

Y/N nearly chokes on her food, and takes a large sip of her iced coffee. He gives her a concerned look as she calms down.

“Oh, yeah, you have a thing for me.” She blushes. “Still need to get used to that.” 

“The real question is, do you have a thing for me? I mean, you must a little bit with how you were kissing me last night.” He gives her a coy look before biting into his toast.

“You’re…I mean, yeah, I have a thing for you. I like you, I like when we get together for tutoring. I even started looking forward to it.”

“How’d your test go yesterday, by the way?”

“I think it went really well…he said we should have our grades Monday.” Harry hums his response. “You’ll still tutor me, right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know…I just feel like I made things weird…”

“Would you stop with that? I had plenty of fun last night, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then.” He shrugs. “I really don’t care that I didn’t get my dick wet, Y/N. I care more about you being comfortable.”

“But you could have taken someone else home and-“

“I didn’t want to take anyone else home. Just wanted you.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you.”

“But…why?”

“Well, for starters, since we met you’ve just been utterly yourself. You’re not afraid to say what’s what. I like when people speak their minds. I’ve tutored a lot of athletes, and I’ve never seen one work as hard as you. Usually they want me to do everything for them, and I don’t because I can’t be there to take the fucking test for them, but you genuinely wanted to understand the material.”

“I just always look like such a schlub when we meet, though.”

“See, what you call schlubby, I call sporty. You usually go to the gym after our meetings, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then. I like all people, but I’ve never really been attracted to frillier girls. I like when girls don’t feel the need to impress others all the time. You’re just comfortable, and I like that.”

“I dress up for class sometimes, I just-“

“You don’t need to justify anything, Y/N. I mean, you looked insanely hot last night, but even if you had shown up to that party in sweats, I still would have wanted you to come home with me.”

“So…you wanna, like, date me? Is that it?”

“Date, hang out, whatever.” He shrugs. “I’m not picky about labels.”

“And you’re not talking to anyone else?”

“I haven’t had the time. I’ve been tutoring this really needy girl that has to see me twice a fucking week.” He smirks at her and she nudges him.

“I may be small, but I could beat the shit out of you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, babe.” He winks and takes a sip of his coffee. “I have some stuff I have to do today, I like to get my homework done on Saturdays, but are you free tonight?”

“Yeah, we have the weekend off since we won. I don’t think the girls are doing anything, if they are I could always skip out, why?”

“My roommates and I are having a movie night if you’d like to come over.”

“I wouldn’t be crashing?”

“Not at all. They bring dates all the time.”

“Okay, yeah, that sounds nice.”

“I can come get you too so you don’t have to walk alone.”

“What movie?”

“We haven’t decided yet. Nothing scary, I can tell you that.”

“Works for me.” 

//

“Spill it, bitch, let’s go.” Gina says as she pins Y/N down on the floor of the living room.

“You guys are annoying.” Y/N giggles from Gina tickling her. “Okay, okay!”

Gina gets off her and helps her up. She gets on the couch and lays her head in Amanda’s lap. Amanda strokes her hair and she sighs.

“We went back to his place, we made out, and then I got nervous so I didn’t take my clothes off, but we ended up dry humping, and things didn’t stay dry very long.”

“Oh my god, did he jizz in his pants?” Gina asks.

“No, but I did. I can tell he’s big, and we were grinding really hard on each other and I came.”

“Oh my god!” Amanda squeals. “What did he do?”

“He took care of himself in the bathroom, and gave me some clothes to wear. We ended up falling asleep watching Hannah Montana. God, and he likes me, like he really likes me, and I think I like him too. He invited me over for a movie night with his roommates later.”

“You know what was a good sign? The fact that he wanted to get breakfast with you, and walked you to and from the dining hall. That’s a man right there.” Amanda says.

“No, what makes him a man is that when Y/N said stop he stopped.” Gina remarks. “I like him already.”

“He was seriously so chill about it, I was honestly shocked. I appreciated it, but I wasn’t expecting him to be so okay with me not wanting to go further.”

“That’s the shitty thing about college. Good people are a dime a dozen.” Amanda says 

//

Y/N straightens her hair and puts a little makeup on. She settles on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with the school’s logo on it. She takes a shot with the girls just to take the edge off, and hears a knock at the door. She grabs her jean jacket and opens the door.

“Hi, Harry.” She beams.

“Hey, love, how was your day?”

“Good.” She giggles and leans up to kiss his cheek, taking him a bit by surprise.

“Now, young man…” Amanda says, walking over with Gina. “What time can we expect our girl home?”

“Who said she’s not spending the night again?” He raises an eyebrow at them. “Quite liked waking up next to you.”

“Oh my god.” Y/N says, clearly flustered. “I’ll text in the group chat so you know what I’m doing, bye!” She pulls Harry out the door. “Don’t add fuel to their fire.” She nudges him.

“I was just being honest.” He throws his arm around her. “I hope you’ll stay again, but if you don’t want to I’ll bring you home, no big deal.”

Instead of going right up the stairs when they get to Harry’s place, he leads her down the corridor, passing by the kitchen and a hall bath, and into the large living room. There was a giant sectional sofa and even more giant TV across from it. There were a couple of guys sitting down already.

“Oi, there you are.”

“I said I was stepping out to get my girl, didn’t I?” He rolls his eyes. “Y/N, this is Louis and Niall.”

“Hi.” She says, trying not to melt into a puddle from being called his girl.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m gonna get some popcorn made. Do you want a beer or anything?”

“Beer’s fine, thank you.”

She sits down on the edge of the sofa and leans against the arm rest.

“You’re on the hockey team, right?” Niall asks.

“Mhm…you look familiar, are you on the soccer team?”

“We both are.” Louis says.

“Oh, cool. Is it just the three of you here?”

“No, we have two other roommates, but they practically live at their girlfriend’s places.” Niall explains. “We have some other friends coming soon, though, it’s good for you to claim your spot now.”

“Yeah, some of the other senate kids usually join us.” Louis says. “So you’re the girl Harry’s been tutoring, huh? He won’t shut up about you, it’s pretty cute.”

“Oi! Don’t embarrass me or I’m not sharing the popcorn.” Harry says, tossing them each a beer, and handing Y/N one. He sits down next to her with the bowl of popcorn in his lap.

A few of the student senate kids show up and Harry ends up pulling Y/N into his lap to make room on the couch. She didn’t mind one bit. They had settled on Napoleon Dynamite for a movie, which was perfect. There was one girl, though, that had sat right next to Harry, and she had sort of been flirting with him. Take the hint, I’m in his lap, not you, Y/N thought to herself. Harry notices Y/N finish her second beer.

“Want another?”

“I can get it.”

“You’re my guest.” He kisses her cheek and lifts her up so he can get up.

“How long have you known Harry for?” The girl asks.

“Um…like a month? What about you?”

“We met last year.” She flips her hair.

“Here we are, a fresh beer.” He hands one to Y/N and tosses a couple out to his friends. He lifts Y/N up and plops her back in his lap, making her giggle.

Everyone was having a good time, laughing at the hilarious movie. The lights had been dimmed when the movie started, so Harry was able to discretely kiss on Y/N’s neck once in a while. When the movie ends, Louis and Niall let Harry know there’s a party at the soccer house and he can swing by if he wants, and out the door they go. That leaves Harry and Y/N with the senate kids. They get into a game of Cards Against Humanity, which ends up being pretty fun. It was starting to get late, though, and it was clear that Harry wanted to be alone with Y/N.

“One more round.” The girl says.

“Nah, come on, Ari, we should go.” A boy, Billy, says.

“Yeah.” Another boy, Andrew, agrees. “I’m beat, and we need to walk you home.” They both stand up, and he extends a hand to her. She groans, but stands.

Harry walks them all to the door and says goodnight. He walks back over to Y/N who was cleaning up the living room.

“You don’t have to do that, I can clean up, love.”

“It’s okay, it’s just a few cans.”

“Follow me, we have a recycling in the kitchen.”

She follows him in and he opens the door for the pantry where the kept a bucket for empty cans.

“That girl has a crush on you, yeah?”

“Who? Ari?! No way.”

“Come on, Harry.” She scoffs. “If I wasn’t sitting on top of you I’d say she was.”

“Aw, it’s cute your jealous.” He wraps his arms around her waist.

“I’m not, I’m just saying.” She wraps her arms around his neck. “I picked up on the vibe.”

“Well, even if she did it doesn’t matter because I don’t like her like that. I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“I should fucking hope so.” He chuckles. “Wanna come up to my room?”

“Yeah.”

He pecks her lips and then leads her up the stairs. He flops onto his bed and she crawls on top of him. His hands find her hips and she rids him of his glasses, gently putting them on one of his pillows. She leans down so their chests are pressed to each other and they start kissing. One of his hands moves to the back of her head so he can tug at her hair.

“Can I…touch your butt?” Y/N laughs against him and nods yes. His hand slides further south and he squeezes her right cheek. “You’re so fucking perfect, you know that?”

She sucks on his bottom lip as her answer and he pushes his hips up to hers. They grind against each other just as they did the night before. Both of his hands knead her cheeks as her hand slide up under his shirt. They were both starting to sweat. She sits up on him and lifts her shirt off. His eyes grow wide as he sees her breasts practically spilling out of her bra.

“It’s hot.” She whines and tugs at the hem of his shirt. He sits up so she can pull it off him.

“Let me turn the fan on, yeah?”

She nods and lets him get up to turn his fan on. He snatches his glasses and puts them in their case on his desk, and then he gets back on the bed, sitting up against the wall, and she crawls back into his lap. He kisses on her necks and down her chest, biting on the fleshy parts of the tops of her breasts. She tugs at his hair and rolls her hips down on him.

“You…you can take it off if you want.”

“Are you sure? Is that what you want?” He looks up at her. “Last night…”

“I was really drunk, I have more of my wits about me now. I’m okay if my bra comes off.”

“Okay, but if you wanna cover back up just let me know.”

“I will.”

He reaches around and gets her bra unhooked in a couple of swift movements. He tugs it down her shoulders and tosses it to the floor. He gazes at her bare chest and licks his lips. His large hands cup both of them and he kneads them at first, just getting a feel. His thumbs rub circles into her nipples, getting them nice and hard. He kisses down her chest again, and just uses his tongue to lick and swirl around her nipple. Who was he? Y/N’s head was swimming. She thought Harry was just a stuffy, studious college kid, but fuck, he was almost…devious. He blows on her now wet nipple before wrapping his lips around it to suck on.

“Oh!” She gasps and presses his head closer to her. She grits her teeth and closes her eyes, loving the new sensation he was bringing her. He pops off and does the same to the other one.

“So,” He says, kissing his way back to her neck. “No one’s ever had the privilege of seeing you like this?”

“No.” She swallows.

“I feel really lucky then.” He nips at her bottom lip. “You like the way it felt?”

“Mhm.” She nods. “Felt really good.”

“Good. I always wanna make you feel good.”

He puts his face between her breasts and press them around his cheeks, making her giggle. He mumbles something.

“What?” She laughs and he looks up at her.

“Just feels so nice, they’re so big.”

“Sometimes I have to wear two sports bras so I’m not bouncing around on the ice.”

“I bet.” He starts kneading them again.

“I feel like I just wanna do everything with you.” She says as she rolls her hips on him again.

“God, I feel the same way, but only when you really feel ready, Y/N.”

“I know, you just make me feel so comfortable.”

“Have you…I mean you said you’d never taken your pants off for someone before, but have you ever seen someone else?”

“Um, no…”

“So you’ve never gotten a guy off before.” He doesn’t ask, he’s more so confirming.

“Right.”

“Okay.” He smiles and kisses her. “Think we should cool it for the night then before I get a little too excited.”

“Oh, alright.” She was hoping to maybe come again. He lifts her up and sets her down. She crosses her arms over herself as he gets up, he looks over his shoulder at her.

“No need to cover up, babe, I’m just changing outta these pants.”

“I just feel a little exposed right now.”

“Want one of my shirts?”

“Yes, please.”

He tosses her a t-shirt and she puts it on. He strips down to his boxers and gets back on the bed. He furrows his brows at her leggings.

“You’re not gonna sleep in those, are you?”

“Well…I’m only wearing a thong underneath, so I’m not sure what else to do…”

“Christ.” He blushes and gets up, searching for a clean pair of boxers. “You can wear these if you want.”

“I feel like I’m going to own all of your clothes at some point.”

“I like the way they look on you, so I don’t mind.”

She stands up and turns around to change while he lays on the bed. He wants to respect her privacy, but he’s nineteen, so he sneaks a peak. She climbs onto the bed with him and snuggles up. He falls asleep before her, and she can’t help feeling restless.

“Harry.” She sits up nudges his shoulder. “Harry, are you awake?”

“I can be.” He says softly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…I just…um, would you…take care of me?”

“Y/N…” He sits up and caresses her cheek.

“It’s so hard just laying here next to you, I want you to touch me or something. You made me feel so good last night, and you got me all riled up before.”

“Left you hanging?”

“Yeah.” She pouts.

“What do you want me to do specifically? I only wanna do something you wanna do.”

“I don’t want to have sex, but I do want these boxers to come off, and I think I want your head between my legs…if you’re up for it, that is.”

“Oh, babe.” He smirks. “I’m more than up for it. Just tell me to stop if you get nervous.”

“I will.”

He shifts to get between her legs, and he tugs on the boxers, slowly sliding them down her legs. Once they’re gone he gently opens her legs up for him. She was shaking slightly.

“Hey, hey.” He leans up to kiss her. “You’re alright, yeah? Do you not want to do this?”

“No, I do, please it’s okay. I really wanna feel you on me.”

“Okay.”

He gets back between her legs. It was dark, so it was a little hard to see, but it wasn’t rocket science, so Harry licks up from her center to her clit. She gasps, and he does this a few times.

“Doing alright?”

“Yeah, keep going.” She bites her bottom lip.

He licks and sucks around her folds and then he sucks on her clit. This causes her hands to fly to his hair. He flicks the tip of his tongue on the small bundle and then sucks again. Y/N tries to stifle her moans by biting her lip, but it’s starting to hurt.

“No one’s home, love, just let it out.” He says against her. “Can I use my fingers?”

“Please, yes, need it.”

He smirks up at her, not that she can really see. He sucks his middle finger into his mouth before slowly inserting it. She gasps out a moan. He’s slowly lapping away at her clit while his finger goes deeper, to his knuckle. His hips press into the mattress, trying to get some relief of his own. She was so warm and inviting, and it was killing him. He was taking it slow with her, not wanting to hurt her, but he couldn’t help himself from twisting and curling his finger. He was looking for that special spot.

“Oh my god.” She gasps. Bingo. He’s got it.

“Right there?” He rubs his finger against it again.

“Yes, oh shit.” She groans.

Harry sucks on her clit while continuing to use his finger inside her. She can’t help the way she’s breathing and panting, it just makes him work faster and harder.

“H, Harry, I think I’m going to c….oh my god!” She throws her head back as she feels her release.

He retracts his finger and laps away at her center. He kisses her inner thigh to help calm her down. He sits back up slowly to look at her. He couldn’t tell, but her cheeks were flushed.

“Would you, um, walk with me to the bathroom?”

“Of course.”

She doesn’t bother putting the boxers back on. The shirt she was wearing covered her plenty, and he was just nose deep in her crotch so she didn’t need to be shy. Once she’s done he tells her to go wait for him in his room. He needed to take care of himself.

“Think you’ll be able to sleep now?” He teases as he gets back into bed with her. 

“I feel bad…”

“About what?” He pulls her close to him so she can rest her head on his chest.

“I should have taken care of you.”

“One step at a time.” He kisses the top of her head. “When you feel ready we can do that. I feel happy that you trusted me enough to do what we just did.”

“I feel happy too.” She yawns.

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep after that. 

//

Monday, Y/N got her test back from her Mind, Brain, and Evolution class. Her eyes grew wide when she saw her grade, an 88%! She was ecstatic, and couldn’t wait to tell Harry. She didn’t get to chat with him too much Sunday. He walked her home, kissed her goodbye, and then had to get some things done before his student senate meeting. Why they met on Sunday evenings was beyond her.

It was just her luck that he was at the dining hall for lunch at the same as her. She sets her food down and snatches the test from her bag.

“I’ll be right back ladies, gotta go tell my man how well I did.” She grins.

They all cheer her on as she struts over to him. She was clad in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, but she still felt cute. She’s felt incredibly cute ever since Saturday night. Harry was deep in conversation with his friends Y/N goes right over to him and wraps her arms around him, shaking the paper in front of his face. It takes him completely by surprise. He snatches the test and he looks up at her.

“Oh my god!” he nearly squeals and stands up to hug her. “This is amazing! I knew you could do it.”

“A B+, I couldn’t believe it! I still can’t, and it’s all thanks to you.” She wraps her arms around his neck, not giving a fuck that his friends were watching, especially that girl Ari.

“It was all you, I’m so proud of you.” He kisses her forehead.

“I better get back over to them so I can eat, but I just couldn’t wait to tell you.”

“I’m glad you came over here. I’ll see you tomorrow at two, right?”

“Mhm.” She smiles.

“Great, celebratory coffee on me then.” He smiles back and kisses her cheek before she walks away.

“So, you’re, like, dating the hockey girl?” Billy asks.

“There’s more to her than that.” Harry says as he sits down. “We’re hanging out.” He shrugs.

“What class are you even tutoring her in?” Ari asks.

“Mind, Brain, and Evolution. She’s actually really smart, she’s a business major. This class is just tricky.”

“I remember taking that last semester with you!” Andrew chimes in. “Think I only passed because we sat next to each other.”

“Now that she’s got a good grade you don’t still need to tutor her do you?” Ari asks.

“No, I’m definitely going to tutor her.”

“Why?”

“You know how when you go on antibiotics and you start to feel better, but you may have like half your pills left to take? You don’t just stop taking them until you feel better, right? You have to take all of your medicine.”

“Yeah, and Harry’s for sure gonna give her that medicine.” Billy teases him.

“Oh, stop. I like her, and she likes me. Thank god, thought I was going to explode from it being one sided.”

“When’s her next game?” Andrew asks.

“Wednesday. We have to make sure we go again. 

//

Harry already has the iced coffees ready to go when Y/N meets him in the café of the library Tuesday afternoon. She was clad in her workout clothes, hair up in a messy bun.

“Thank you.” She smiles and takes the coffee from him.

“I even put the cream and sugar in it for you.”

“I noticed, how kind.” She smirks.

They find a table to go study at and set up. She goes over the new unit and what’s already sort of not making sense to her. Harry goes over his notes, and does his best to explain things to her. After an hour or so, they take a break.

“How have you been feeling?” He softly asks her.

“About what?”

“What we did Saturday night…we haven’t even texted about it, so I didn’t know if you were avoiding the conversation.”

“Oh! I feel really great. Um, I guess I just didn’t know what to say. I’m glad we did it.”

“Me too.” He looks down and then back to her. “It’ll be nice to do it again, right?”

“Mhm.” She smiles and a slight blush covers her cheeks. “Um, I don’t know if you’re coming to the game tomorrow or not, but-“

“I’ll be there.” He cuts her off. “Go on.”

“When we have games during the week we can’t exactly party all night, so we usually go downtown and order a bunch of food. Some of the girls invite their significant others, and, well, if you don’t mind being out a little late I was wondering if you’d wanna come too.”

“I’d love to.”

“Really?!”

“Sure.” He smiles. “Gotta be there for my girl.” He clears his throat. “Let’s get back to it, I don’t wanna make you late for the gym.”

Y/N liked that Harry was always so serious, she may not have before, but now she just thought it was cute. He lets her do some reading for class while he works on his own homework.

“This is nice.” He speaks up.

“What is?”

“Just doing homework together. We could do this more if you want. I’d obviously still tutor you on the clock, but we could get together sometimes to do other homework.” He stops typing and looks at her. “Then we could, uh, see each other more…if you wanted.”

“I’d like that.” She smiles. “I end up doing homework with the girls a lot, but you’re more than welcome to come over and join.”

“Sounds like fun.”

She looks at the time and sighs, closing her laptop and packing up.

“I have to get going.”

“I’m gonna stay here a bit longer, otherwise I’d walk you out.”

“That’s alright.” She leans down and pecks his lips before slinging her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the game?”

“You will.” He smiles brightly. “Bye, love.”

“Bye.”

Y/N had butterflies. This was a dream come true.

//

The ice arena wasn’t as packed as the first home game, but there were still a lot of people there. The thing about women’s ice hockey is that you aren’t allowed to fight, so it’s less exciting than men’s ice hockey. Or, that’s what people say. It was annoying that they couldn’t fight. There were plenty of people that Y/N just wanted to deck while she was out there.

She looks out to the stands and sees Harry with the student senate crew holding up a sign for her. It had her number on it and everything. Harry looked cute in his beanie and sweater. Y/N played great and she loved looking over to see Harry cheering, not that she let it distract her. She was able to assist two goals, and the team won 4-1. It was an incredible game.

After the coach goes over what their next practice will consist of, and his congratulations, he leaves to let the girls change.

“Dinner down at the pub in twenty ladies!” Ashley yells.

Everyone runs to the showers to clean themselves up. Y/N throws on a pair of jeans and a black top. She grabs a light windbreaker and puts some product in her wet hair so it dries nice.

“Is Harry coming down?” Gina asks.

“Mhm, he’s going to meet us down there.” She smiles.

All of the girls walk down together. Ashley called ahead so there were a ton of tables pushed together. Harry was waiting outside the pub, along with some of other significant others. Y/N practically jumps on him.

“Great game.” He says into her neck.

“Thanks! I loved seeing you out there. It’s nice to actually have people cheering for us.” She kisses his cheek and lets him go.

Everyone finds their seats. Ashley and some of the other older girls order different pitchers of beer for the table. It was a college bar so no one was really double checking ID’s, especially on a Wednesday, so Y/N poured herself and Harry a glass of beer. They all cheer and clink their glasses.

Nachos, mozzarella sticks, chicken wings, fires, and anything else that could be thought of were ordered for everyone. Harry fit right in with everyone, already having a small report with Amanda and Gina.

“I still can’t get over this.” Ashley says. “Our little baby Y/N bringing a guy to dinner.”

“Didn’t you come to the party at our house?” Megan asks. “Is that how you two met?”

“No, he’s been tutoring me for a class.” Y/N explains. “He just happened to be at the party last weekend.”

“Well, Harry, you can come anytime. I know it was your idea to get more people at the women’s games.” Ashley says.

“Y/N told me how much it bothered her that senate goes to a lot of the guys’ games, thought it was only fair to support the girls too. Your games are way more fun to watch. You’re really fighting for it out there, you can feel it.”

“Oh, he’s a keeper for sure.” Megan says.

Y/N leans in to Harry and he puts his arm around her. She looks up at him once the attention is off her a bit.

“Do you want to come back to my place for a little bit?” She asks.

“I would, babe, but I have an 8AM, I need to go home after all this, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I have an early practice anyways…”

“I can hang out tomorrow night, though. I usually go to the soccer house with Niall and Louis, I’m sure they won’t care if you come.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” She smiles and so does he. Damn him for being so responsible.

“Plus, I’ll see at two for tutoring, right?”

“Right.”

“I could come to your place for that.”

“I don’t think we’d get much tutoring done if we do that.” She winks at him and it makes him laugh.

Amanda and Gina give a few minutes to kiss Harry goodbye before they need to part ways.

“Sorry.” She tells them, wiping the corners of her mouth. “He’s such a good kisser.”

“Apparently on both sets of lips.” Amanda teases her.

“Stop! I told you that in confidence.”

“I still can’t believe it didn’t make you want to fuck him right after.” Gina says.

“Believe me, I think I’m getting ready for that, but I’m nervous to see it.”

“His dick?” Amanda asks.

“Yeah, I’ve never really seen one before, and I can tell his is big. What if it breaks me in half?” She jokes.

“I bet he’d love to hear that, ask him to break your back.” Gina bursts out laughing.

“You two are annoying.” Y/N groans as they continue their walk to their place.

//

It was hard to get through tutoring for both Y/N and Harry. She wanted him, and he could tell. Every time she looked at him he could see it in her eyes. She was being especially pouty and touchy and it was getting to him. Somehow, they both made it through, and he told her he’d pick her up around nine to bring her to his place to pregame before going to the soccer house.

She gets her workout in, showers, and then makes dinner with Amanda and Gina. The three all get some more homework done before going upstairs to get ready.

“Alright, what am I wearing? Jeans and a crop top?”

“What if you wore like a bralette and some high waisted mom jeans?” Gina asks. “That’s always a look.”

“I don’t know what the vibe is at the soccer house, I don’t want to be too exposed.” She pulls out her mom jeans and a black short sleeve crop top. “I think this could be cute, and I’ll put some waves in my hair.”

“I like it.” Amanda asks. “You’re going to his place first, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Assert your dominance and pack an overnight bag. Bring your own toothbrush and pj’s. Show him you’re not afraid to get comfy.”

“You know, that’s not a bad idea. I feel like I’ve been stealing his clothes.” She snatches a string backpack from the floor. “Plus, my drinks won’t clink the bag with some clothes in there. What are you two up to tonight?”

“I think we’re going over to the field hockey house for a bit, and then we’ll see how it goes from there.”

“Nice! That’ll be fun, they always throw great parties.”

The three all finish getting ready, and Y/N packs her hard seltzers into her bag. Harry knocks on the door right at nine, and she flings herself onto him. He chuckles as he kisses her.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi.”

“Ready?”

“Yup, bye girls!” She yells as she swings the door shut.

When they get into Harry’s she moves to go right up the stairs to his room, but he clutches her wrist.

“Pregame is in the kitchen, babe.”

“I know, I just wanna put my bag in your room first, is that alright?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.” He goes upstairs with her and he watches as she pulls out shorts and a t-shirt, her toothbrush, and her hairbrush.

“It’s okay I brought this stuff, right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? I want you to be comfortable.”

“Just making sure.” She grabs her bag and they both head downstairs.

She cracks open a seltzer and they all listen to music while they get a little buzzed. Niall and Louis were funny. Harry leaves her down in the kitchen with them for a few minutes while he goes upstairs to put his contacts in. He didn’t like wearing his glasses to parties because one time someone pushed him, they fell off, and broke. His mum wasn’t too happy when she had to ship him a new pair.

“Did you all live together last year too?”

“Nope, I met Harry from class, and we were already on the soccer team together.” Niall says. “They have these mandatory international student meetings, so the three of us sort of just started hanging out. Lou’s a couple years older so we were able to get off campus. The other two, who are literally never here, are international students too. It all sort of just worked out.”

“Harry’s a great roommate too, he cooks a lot.” Louis chuckles.

“Because if I didn’t.” Harry says as he comes back in. “You two would waste your money on shit all the time.” He throws his arm around Y/N’s shoulders and finishes off his drink.

“We ready? It’s ten, gotta get there before they start turning people away.” Louis says.

Everyone agrees, so Harry loads up Y/N bags with some drinks, and out the door they go.

”I have to warn you, the soccer house is gross.” Harry says. “Those guys leave it a mess. It’s huge so it’s great for a party, but you’re better off having a wee in the bushes than using one of their bathrooms.”

“Well, I’m glad I went before we left then.” Y/N chuckles.

They all get inside, and music is already blaring. Y/N recognizes a few of the guys and she gives them hugs. They congratulate her on her win from the night prior. The house packed already, it smelled like various types of smoke, the floors were sticky with god knows what, and there were a fuck ton of guys.

“Y/N you need a drink?” One of them asks.

“No, I brought my own, but thanks!” She follows Harry into another room where things were a bit more chill. They each take a drink out of her bag and crack them open.

The party was fun for the most part, good music was playing, and Harry looked fucking hot. Y/N liked that he clearly had outfits for partying and outfits for school. Tonight he was wearing a blue short-sleeve button up with the first few buttons undone paired with a black pair of skinny jeans that had a few rips in them. He had rings on his fingers and his nails were painted a pastel purple.

Y/N wished she hadn’t been drinking so much because she desperately needed to pee. She wondered if what Harry said was true, if the bathrooms were really that gross. She searches for another girl and leaves his side.

“Hey, this is random, but you wanna go to the bathroom with me?”

“OMG, sure!” She says brightly. The girl had long blonde hair and a tight dress on.

“Thanks!”

That was the one good thing about drunk girls, they were always willing to be a bathroom buddy. The girl tugs Y/N up a set of stairs.

“Less people using this one!” She says over the music.

She was right, no one was upstairs. It was nice to take a break from the loudness. Both girls go into the bathroom and grimace.

“I don’t get this, boys need to sit down to shit, wouldn’t they try to keep it clean?” The girl scoffs and checks her makeup in the mirror.

“Guess I’ll be squatting.” Y/N sighs, and unzips her pants. She squats over the toilet and pees. “Thanks for coming with me, I wasn’t about to ask my…uh, my date to come with me.”

“No problem girl! I need a pee break myself.”

Y/N flushes and stands up all the way, switching spots with the girl so she could pee. Y/N washes her hands and checks her own makeup.

“Who are you here with?” The girl asks as she pulls her panties back, moving to wash her hands.

“Harry Styles.”

“Oh! I’ve seen him around, he’s cute.”

“Very.” They both giggle. “I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Karina.”

They smile and both head out and down the stairs. They wave goodbye to each other as they make their way back to their people. Y/N walks right up behind Harry and wraps her arms around him. He’s surprised at first and then relaxes when he sees it’s Y/N.

“Where’d you go with that girl?!”

“To the bathroom! We used the one upstairs!”

“Did you know her?!”

“Nope!” She laughs and so does Harry.

As the night goes on, Y/N starts to feel dancey and notices other people dancing in one of the larger rooms, so she tugs Harry over and wraps her arms around his neck so they can grind front to front. His hands go right to her hips, and his lips find her cheek and then her neck. One of her hands slides up to his hair to rake through. She noses his jaw to get his attention and suddenly her tongue was in his mouth. He pulls her closer and backs them up towards a wall, pressing her up against it. She wondered, briefly, how many girls Harry had made out with at a party. She knew he had to have fucked a lot. No guy could be that good at eating out without some practice. The jealousy she feels seeps in and she bites down on his lower lip a little too hard. He winces and pulls away for a moment. He catches his breath and looks down at her, moving some hair away from her face.

“Alright?!”

“How often do you do this?!”

“Do what?!”

“Make out with girls at parties! Take those girls home and fuck them!” She wasn’t sure where this was all coming from. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was starting to sink in that she gave up a part of herself to someone that she had only known a few weeks.

“Hey! Whoa! Where is this…” He leans in to speak into her ear. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’m just feeling…weird all of a sudden. You have so much experience, and I don’t have a lot, so-“

He moves back to look at her. He cups her jaw and leans in to kiss her. He gives her a few kisses before moving his lips to her ear again.

“Let’s get out of here, then we can talk more, okay?”

She nods yes and he takes her hand. He leads her out of the house, and the chilly night air hits her like a ton of bricks.

“Can you walk alright?” He asks her.

“Can I? Yes. Do I want to? No.”

“Alright, well hop on.” He crouches in front of her.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, all aboard.”

She giggles and hops onto his back. She rests her chin on his shoulder and nibbles on his earlobe, making him giggle.

“Thought you were upset with me for a second.”

“I got jealous.”

“Of what, babe?”

“Anyone that’s ever been with you.” She shamelessly admits. “I know that’s dumb.”

“I haven’t been with that many people.”

“It’s none of my business.”

“It is if it’s bothering you, Y/N.”

“You’re just really good at it, and it made me think that you’ve had a lot of practice. Not to mention that everything you do surprises me. I’m still shocked that you’re the type of guy to make out openly at a party.”

“I mean, yeah, I’m a nice guy, but I’m like any other guy sometimes. I’m respectful, but I still wanna have fun.”

He gets to his place and sets her down so he can unlock the door. They both go straight to his room, and they sit on the edge of his bed.

“We were having such a good time, walk me through what happened?” He asks as he gets up to take his contacts out.

“I don’t know, it was like while we were kissing it made me think of how many times you’ve done that sort of thing before. Doesn’t that happen to you with me?”

“Not really.” He sits back down next to her, running a hand through his hair. He kicks his boots off and looks at her. “I’m more or less just lost in you.”

“I think I’m just feeling vulnerable since we haven’t been alone since I was so exposed to you.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. I should have stayed with you last night when you asked me to come home with you.”

“No! It’s okay, we both had to get up early. I’m being dumb and needy.” She shakes her head.

“You’re not being either of those things. We can wait a while to do something like that again if you want.”

“No! I don’t want to wait. I really liked it. I guess, I mean…”

“Are you worried that you’re not the only one?”

“Maybe a little…”

“Babe, I’m not talking to anyone else, I thought it was pretty clear. I’m not in a rush to put a label on anything, but I’m not fucking anyone else, I swear.”

“Okay…”

“I’ve only ever fully been with like six people if that makes you feel better.”

“Harry, I really don’t need to know.”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m some sex maniac. I had sex in high school, and then there were a couple of girls last year, and then a couple people this past summer. If I seem good at it, it’s only because I’m vocal and I ask to make sure things feel good, that’s all.”

“Alright, I’m sorry for being so stupid. I ruined the entire night.”

“You’re not stupid, and you didn’t ruin anything, okay? I’m gonna go get us some water, feel free to change and then we can just watch TV or something.”

“Oh.”

“What?” He asks as he stands up.

“I just thought, you know, you’d want to take my clothes off for me.”

“I mean, I do, but I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. We both had a lot to drink, Y/N.” He gives her a soft smile and leaves to go downstairs.

She sighs heavily and then changes into the pj’s she brought. He comes back and hands her a glass. He starts unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way.

“I really like what you have on tonight.”

“Yeah? I liked your outfit too. Although, you look pretty cute right now.” He smirks and drags his jeans down his legs and gets onto the bed with a sigh. 

“Oh, do I?”

“Mhm, very cute.” His eyes trail down her body and they grow wide when they get to her legs. “What happened here?” He points to the various bruises on her thighs and shins.

“Oh, it’s just from going to the gym and games and stuff. I always have bruises on me.” She shrugs. “No big deal.”

“Poor thing.” He rubs his hand over one of her thighs.

“It’s really not a big deal.” Goosebumps raise on her skin from his gentle touch. She lays down fully next to him, rolling onto her side to face him. “I like you.”

“I like you too.”

She nuzzles into his chest and he rubs her back. They stay like that for a while, and she starts to hear her breathing level out. He carefully gets up to turn his light off, and goes back to the way he was.

//

The next morning, Y/N wakes up pressed into Harry’s side. He was out like a light. She gets up and grabs her toothbrush and pads out to the bathroom. She gets in and locks the door behind her. She splashes some cool water onto her face, and brushes her teeth. She tip toes back to Harry’s room, and crawls back into bed.

“Where’d you go.” He mumbles as he moves to spoon her.

“Just to the bathroom.” She whispers.

He nuzzles into her back, pressing his pelvis to her ass. He pushes a leg between hers to get especially cozy. She adjusts against him, and things sort of just sped up from there. He started moving against her and the second she whimpered, he was dipping his hand into her shorts.

“Is this okay?” He asks, kissing on the exposed part of her neck.

“Yes.” She breathes.

His fingers rub on her clit at first before going between her folds. He groans when he feels how wet she is. He drags it up to her clit to rub circles on her. She turns over onto her stomach and he follows her, continuing to grind himself against her ass, and rubbing on her clit.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

Hearing him moan her name was doing things to her. She moves her hips along with his, and she starts to feel warm all over. She was moaning into his pillows, and he feels her writhe under him while she comes. He takes his hand away once she’s done, and she rolls onto her back.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I…give you a hand job?”

“You really want to?”

“Yeah, I really do.” She bites her bottom lip and he moves to lay next to her.

“You’re positive?”

“Yes.”

He starts to lower his boxers and he looks at her again. She nods and he gets them of all the way. Her eyes widen. He really was big, and thick too. She sort of knew what to do. She had seen enough porn to know she at least needed to make sure her hand was wet, so she spits into it, and carefully grips him. He hisses from her touch.

“Wanna know what I like?” He asks her.

“Yeah.”

“While you do it, put these fingers over my tip.” He moves her fingers he wants them and then she moves them back and forth while her hand works around him. “Shit, just like that, it’s perfect.”

Y/N can’t help but look at Harry’s perfectly sculpted happy trail that leads down to the small tufts of hair right at his base. His balls weren’t hairy, he clearly did a lot of manscaping. In a bold move she uses her other hand to cup his balls, and his head rolls back into the pillow.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, just, like, massage them a little, but not too hard.”

She nods and gives him gentle squeezes while her hand continues to work on him. This wasn’t so bad. She wasn’t sure what she was so nervous about, it was just a penis. She licks her lips and looks at him.

“Can I…put my mouth on it?”

“Fuck, yeah, please.” He grips the sheets as she wraps her lips around his tip. “Just no teeth!” He reminds her at the last second and she pops off.

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Unhinge my jaw?”

“No.” He chuckles. “Just try to keep your lips around your teeth or keep your mouth wide. Use your tongue more than anything.”

She nods and goes back down. He has to fight to buck up into her. She only keeps her mouth around his tip, not wanting to go crazy. She pumps the rest of him, drool dripping down her chin.

“Y/N, I’m getting close.”

She keeps sucking on him. When she looks up at him, making eye contact, he loses it. She spurts into her mouth and her eyes widen at the taste. It didn’t taste bad, but it certainly didn’t taste good either. She takes it all, but she sure as shit wasn’t going to swallow. She looks around his room for his trash and when she spots it, she gets off the bed and spits into it. She grabs the glass of water from his desk and swishes it around her mouth before spitting again.

“Sorry.” She breathes. “I just-“

“You’re apologizing? Get your ass over here.” He smirks. She gets back onto the bed and he holds her close. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to swallow it unless you really wanted to. I know it’s a lot to get used to.”

“So, you’re not offended?”

“You just gave me a blow job, I’m not offended at all.” He kisses her forehead. “I’m just gonna go use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” He grabs his boxers and slips them on and leaves the room.

Y/N snatches her phone and texts in the group chat letting Amanda and Gina know what just happened. She couldn’t wait to get home, she needed to talk about it now. When Harry gets back she nearly throws her phone. She puts her phone down gently and cuddles up to him when he lays back down. He kisses on the top of her head a couple of times and rubs her back.

“That felt really good, by the way.”

“You’re not just saying that?” She pouts up at him.

“Not at all, I’ve been dreaming about you doing that. It was nice to feel the real thing.” His lips curve up as he looks down at her. “You’re a natural, sure you’ve never done that before.”

“Never, I swear.” She giggles. “I’m glad it was good for you.”

“It was fantastic.” He sighs.

After snuggling a little longer, they both decide to get up. Harry makes Y/N some eggs and toast for breakfast before walking her home. They get to her door and he has trouble saying goodbye. His lips just won’t leave hers.

“You have practice today?”

“Mhm, and then an away game tomorrow. We leave early in the morning. I’ll text you when I get home, maybe we can meet up.”

“I’d like that.” He smiles. “So I won’t see you at all tonight?”

“No, we’re not allowed to go out the night before an away game.”

“Fair enough.” He sighs. “Alright.” He kisses her against, sucking on her bottom lip before letting her go. “Can’t wait to hear how the game goes.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

She goes inside and runs upstairs. She knocks on Amanda’s door before going in and they both squeal. Gina comes in and squeals with them. 

//

It was a rough game. They lost by one goal. The bus was quiet at first, but the coach ended up farting and it made everyone laugh, lightening the mood. They wouldn’t be going out to celebrate tonight, but Y/N knew a few of the girls would be getting together. She was pooped and didn’t feel like drinking. She was sitting in the window seat on the coach bus next to Gina, who was turned talking to one of the other girls, so she takes the opportunity to call Harry. Now that she thinks about it, they’ve never spoken on the phone before. She puts her headphones in and dials his number.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey! How was the game, babe?”

“We lost…by one goal.” She sighs.

“I’m sorry, that must not feel great. I watched the live stream, but I was only able to catch the beginning.”

“You…you actually watched part of it?”

“Yeah! I wanted to support you. I had to tutor this afternoon so that’s why I wasn’t able to watch the whole thing.”

“Well, thanks for watching a little…”

“Of course, babe.”

“Um, we should be back to campus in an hour. I need to shower and stuff, and I don’t really feel like going out, but would you wanna come over and cuddle?”

“I’d love to. I’ll bring my laptop so we can watch Disney movies.”

“That sounds amazing. I’ll text you once I’m all set.”

“Sounds good, see you soon.”

Y/N hangs up and taps Gina on the shoulder. She tells her that Harry’s gonna come over and she nods excitedly. She takes the second shower once Amanda is done, and then puts on a pair of comfy sweat pants and throws on a t-shirt. Harry comes over, and she takes him right up to her room.

“What are your roommates up to tonight?”

“Not sure, they’re probably just hanging out too.” They both get onto her bed. “Sorry there’s not as much room as your bed.”

“Are you kidding, this is going to be a great cuddle.”

He sits up against the wall, and has her sit in front of him, placing the laptop at the foot of the bed. They decide on The Goofy Movie. Although, Harry is being very distracting. He rubs Y/N’s shoulders and neck, and then his arms wrap around her waist. He gets up under her shirt, one hand kneading one of her breasts, and the other dips into her sweatpants. He starts kissing on her neck and her head rolls back to his shoulder. She bites her bottom lip as his fingers get inside her underwear and start rubbing at her clit. His middle finger slips inside her and she gasps.

“Alright?” He nips at her earlobe.

“Mhm, don’t stop.” She bites her bottom lip. They’ve both forgotten about the movie, almost thankful it’s just background noise to help muffle things. “M’getting too hot, Harry.” She whines.

He nearly rips her shirt off, exposing her full chest to him. She gets up and wiggles out of her sweatpants. He gets his own shirt off, and then she straddles him. She kisses down his neck and sucks where she pleases.

“I did some thinking last night while you were gone.” He says between pants.

“Oh yeah?” She rolls her hips down on him.

“Yeah.” He grips her hips and moves his up to meet hers. “If I’m only seeing you, and you’re only seeing me, then I think I should just cut the crap and ask you to be my girlfriend, don’t you think?”

“You…I thought the labels-“

“I was being stupid about that. I wanna be your boyfriend, Y/N. Can’t risk anyone else scooping you up. I need you to be mine.”

“I’m already yours.”

“Like, officially though.”

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want you to be my boyfriend too.”

He grabs his phone out of his pocket and goes to change his Facebook status when he realizes something.

“We’re not even friends on here…”

“We’re not?! Could have sworn that happened when you started tutoring me.”

“No, I guess not. Think that was just insta.” He sends her a friend request, and she accepts, and then they both change their statuses. “There, now there’s no question about it.” They both set their phones on the floor, and get back to it.

Their tongues slide against each other as he gropes various parts of her body. Things were getting hot and heavy fast.

“Want you, please.” She whimpers against him.

“What?”

“Please, Harry, fuck me.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m ready, I swear. We’re both sober, I want this. Please, Harry, please fuck me, don’t make me beg.” She pouts. “Fuck, I don’t have any condoms.”

“I…have some in my backpack.” He blushes. “I just keep them in there, I didn’t think anything was going to happen tonight.”

“Well, I’m glad you have some. Do you wanna do this?”

“I do, but only if you’re really sure.”

“I am.” She smiles and he nods. She gets off of him and lies down on the bed while he searches through his backpack.

“Do you want me to finger you some more?”

“No, I really just want your dick.” She slides her underwear down her legs and tosses them to the floor.

His mouth was watering. He strips himself of the rest of his clothes and snatches a condom. He makes sure her door is locked, and closes his laptop before getting on top of her. He opens the foil packet, and rolls the rubber down his length.

“You’re positive?”

“Yes, Harry, I swear.”

“I’ll stop at any second, okay? You just need to speak up.”

“Okay.”

She spreads her legs apart for him, and he leans down to kiss her. He rubs his tip against her clit and through her folds, making sure she’s wet. He starts to push inside her, and all she feels is pressure and stretching. It sort of burned a bit as he did it. She takes a deep breath and digs her nails into his shoulders.

“Almost all the way in, can you take it?”

“Yeah, yeah, I can take it.”

He groans once he’s all the way in. He was so fucking snug inside her, it was a miracle he didn’t nut right then and there.

“You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah.” She had a couple of tears in her eyes.

“Are you sure? It doesn’t hurt?”

“It hurts a little, but not enough that I want to stop. I’m just getting used to you. Try moving.”

“Okay.”

He slowly rocks in and out, watching her face to make sure she wasn’t in too much pain. It was crazy, it was a like a switch went off because as soon as he got going with a good pace, it started to feel good. Even the stretching, she liked how it all felt. One of his hands kneads her breast and tweaks her nipple and his lips attach to her neck.

“Okay, babe?” He says into her ear.

“So good, Harry.” She wraps her legs around his back and digs her heels into his ass.

He couldn’t do much with her tonight, he knew that. He couldn’t fuck her from behind or even let her on top, but he could make her feel amazing. He snakes a hand between them and rubs her clit.

“Oh!” She gasps.

“Like that, baby girl?”

“Yes, oh my god, yes, Harry.” She arches up into him. She’s breathing heavily and scratching at his back. She almost felt like she needed to pee, but she knew it was just her orgasm getting ready to wash over her. “Shit, oh fuck, shit!” She cries out as she comes around his cock.

He spills into the condom shortly after, not being able to hold on much longer himself. He pulls out of her slowly, not wanting to hurt her and she winces.

“I know, baby, I know.” He feels terrible, he knew she had to feel sore. He gets up and throws the condom out in her trash and gets back over to her quickly, caressing her cheeks, applying kisses all over her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and practically melts at his tenderness. “I really need to pee.” She chuckles.

“Alright, let’s getcha to the bathroom then.”

“I can go on my own. Just need a shirt.”

“Take mine.” He grabs it off the floor and hands it to her. He slips his own boxers back on, and helps her stand up.

He watches her waddle out of the room. She winces as she uses the toilet, and she grimaces at the toilet paper when she sees a light pink color. He was so careful with her, extremely gentle, but she was still a virgin at the end of the day. Well, not anymore. She just gave something major to Harry. She waddles back to her room, and smiles when she sees him still half naked, waiting in her bed.

“Do you want the side with the wall, or-“

She practically jumps on top of him, and she attacks him with kisses. They both giggle and then she settles to lay on top of him for a bit. He rubs her back and soothes her as best he can. He gets up to use the bathroom, and when he comes back they decide to finish their movie and spoon before falling asleep.

//

Harry held Y/N all night. She felt extremely safe in his arms, and it was exactly what she needed after doing something so big for her. She adjusts against him, and he gives her kisses on the back of her neck and she smiles. She turns over and buries her face in his chest. He strokes her back and kisses the top of her head. He was being careful with her, knowing that she would need some extra reassurance.

“How are you feeling?” He finally asks, his voice still thick with sleep.

“I’m okay.” She mumbles. “A little sore, but I’ll be alright.”

“I tried not to be too rough with you, I’m sorry.”

She looks up at him and smiles.

“You weren’t rough at all…I probably should have let you finger me a little more beforehand. I just really wanted you.”

“Can’t blame you for that.” He smirks and she swats a hand at his chest. “Kidding.”

“Mhm, sure you were.”

“Do you have plans today?”

“Just homework and stuff. I’m dreading our practice tomorrow morning, the coach is gonna ride us for losing.” She sighs.

“It was your first loss, right?”

“Yeah, so it’s not terrible, but it could easily be the start to a losing streak, so we need to prevent that.” They both shift so Harry’s on his back, and she’s got her head on his chest. “Why? Did you want to do something?”

“Well, I was thinking I could go back to my place and shower, and then I could come back here to do homework or something…we could get brunch at the dining hall.”

“God, I love brunch at dhall. Could I invite Amanda and Gina? They’ll be jealous.”

“Sure! I don’t care.” He kisses her forehead and gets up. She watches him stretch, and he gets his clothes on. “Wanna just meet over there in, like, an hour?”

“Works for me.”

“Alright, see you in a bit.” He leans down and pecks her lips before slipping out.

Just as she’s getting out of bed, and putting some shorts on, Gina and Amanda burst into her room.

“You guys wanna come to the dining hall with us in a bit?” Y/N asks with a smug look on her face.

“Yes, but we have more important things to discuss.” Amanda says. “What the hell happened in here last night?”

“Oh god, did you guys hear anything?”

“Only a little.” Gina says. “I just put headphones in.”

“Okay, so this is going to sound like he and I have bene moving fast, well, I guess we have been, but…we had sex last night.”

“Like full on?!” Amanda asks. The three sit on the bed together.

“Yeah, he was like rubbing up on me and stuff, and we were making out, and I told him I wanted to. He was so sweet, he kept asking me if I was sure and everything.”

“Did you make sure to pee after?” Gina asks.

“Yeah…and I think I bled a little…I’m a little sore. He was so sweet on me, though, like he took it really slow.”

“Did it hurt while he was doing it?” Amanda asks.

“A little in the begging, like when he first put it in, and then all of a sudden it started to feel really good. I think he was hitting my g-spot or something. He rubbed my clit too, I didn’t know an orgasm could feel so good.” She blushes. Her and the girls have had plenty of these conversations, so it wasn’t that weird to be so open, but just thinking about the previous events was making her feel an ache between her legs.

“Good for you! And he asked to go to the dining hall with you?” Gina asks.

“Yeah, he asked me if I had plans today. He held me all night too. We, like, made things official last night…on Facebook…”

“Oh shit!” The girls say and both take their phones out. They like the status update.

“I’m gonna go shower quick, and then we can get ready to go?” Y/N asks.

“Definitely.” Amanda says.

They both watch Y/N stand up. She breathes funny for a second and then she sneezes.

“Ow! Oh my god!” She grabs at her lower stomach.

“What happened?” Gina asks, concerned.

“Felt like my vagina was gonna fall out.” Y/N says and they all start laughing. “Fuck, this is going to be a long day…”

//

Harry really liked Y/N’s friends. They were chill, but blunt. He knew Y/N must have filled them in on the night prior, but he didn’t mind. He knew the first time was a big deal for anyone, his certainly was, even if it was when he was seventeen.

“Harry, you’re on senate right?” Gina asks.

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Why?”

“Is it true you guys have these really long meetings on Sunday nights?”

“Mhm.” He sighs. “We meet up at five, and we all have to be dressed up because sometimes different staff and faculty come to the meetings, so we need to look professional. I’ve been there as late as 10PM sometimes. Certain motions take forever to get through, it’s annoying. The only perk is that we get food provided.”

“And that’s why you get a lot of your homework done on Saturdays, right?” Y/N says.

“That’s right.” He smiles at her.

“How come you wanted to on senate and not join a normal club?” Amanda asks.

“I wanted to be involved with how things are done on campus.” Harry shrugs. “I was on student senate in high school, so I wanted to continue with it here.”

“What made you want to study at an American university? Aren’t schools way less expensive where you’re from?” Gina asks.

“They can be. I just thought this would be a good time for me to get away and travel. It makes me appreciate home more when I go back.”

“Makes sense.” Gina says. “I’m actually from Florida, and only came up here to play hockey.”

“Same here, I’m from California.” Amanda tells him.

“I think I’m one of the few in-state students on our team.” Y/N says.

“That’s cool though that this school has such a good hockey program that you wanted to come here.”

After lunch, Harry comes back to Y/N’s apartment, and they all hang out to do homework in the living room. When 4PM hits he explains he needs to go home so he can get ready for senate.

“Thanks for hanging out today, it was nice.” Y/N says as they stand in the doorway.

“Yeah, it was.” He puts his thumb and forefinger on her chin to tilt her chin up. He leans down and gives her a nice, slow kiss. “When do I see you next?”

“I don’t know…Tuesday for tutoring?”

“Works for me.”

“I mean, I’m sure we’ll talk before then.”

“Most likely.” He grins.

“Okay, well, have a god senate meeting.”

“Thanks.” He gives her another kiss before heading out.

“He’s, like, dreamy.” She says to the girls when she walks back into the living room. “I think I’ll keep him around.” She giggles with them.

//

Harry was just finishing getting his tie on for the senate meeting, and he thinks to send Y/N a mirror selfie so she could see what he has to wear. He puts a pout on his face and puts a caption on it asking her to just kill him. Joking, of course.

When she gets the DM, she bites her bottom lip. She thought he looked really good. So she told him that, well she told him he looked really sexy, and that was just about all he needed to stay distracted for his entire meeting.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“What’s your vote on giving Awesome Weekends more funding?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, I just think if we do this we need to see some return on investment. I want to make sure that students actually go to the events they put on. The money should go towards more advertising and stuff like that. I mean, but just word of mouth we were able to get more people at sporting events. The events Awesome Weekends put on aren’t exactly always awesome.”

“They’ve proposed more free skate nights.” Billy says. “Off-setting the cost of rentals. That’s why a lot of students don’t go to that normally. They’re also working on more movie nights, and late night dining.”

“Alright, I vote yes then, but it needs to be a trial basis. We need to see how it works. If they want the same amount of money next year then they can say why they deserve it in allocations this spring like everyone else.”

“I agree with Harry.” Ari says. “I say we boost it now, but let it be clear that if they want more next year, they’ll have to ask for it during allocations like everyone else.”

“Thanks.” He whispers to her.

“No problem.” She smiles.

“Alright, let’s take a fifteen minute break.” The senior class president says.

“You’re a little distracted tonight, are you alright?” Ari asks Harry.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He says, taking out his phone. Y/N had sent him a selfie of her own, snuggled up in bed, and he smiles at it. “These meetings just go on forever sometimes. My girlfriend’s already in bed for Christ’s sake.”

“It’s only 9:30…wait, did you just say girlfriend?”

“Yeah, made it official with her last night.” He smiles dreamily.

“The girl from the hockey team?!”

“Um, yeah…why?”

“I…well, no offense, but she just seems sort of frumpy for you, Harry.”

“Frumpy? That’s sort of rude, Ari.” He frowns. “I think she’s really pretty.”

“I just meant, like, she’s always wearing sweats and stuff.”

“A lot of people on teams do that. What do you care how she dresses anyways?” 

“I just think people should care more about how they look before they leave for the day.”

“You’ve never seen her dressed up for a party then, because-“ He cuts himself off. “You know what, I don’t need to do this. I like her, she’s my girlfriend, and that’s it. As my friend, I hope you’d be happy for me.”

“I’m ecstatic.” She huffs and gets up to grab some more water.

“I don’t like her attitude at all.” Harry says to Andrew.

“Dude…she has a thing for you, and you just rubbed a new relationship in her face. I was sort of hoping she’d stop liking you when you brought Y/N over for that movie night, but I guess not.”

“She what?!” He whisper screams. “Why didn’t she say anything?”

“Probably because she knew you didn’t like her back. She’s had a thing for you since last year.”

“Shit, I feel terrible.” He looks over at Ari and then back to Andrew. “Should I talk to her?”

“No, she’d probably just be embarrassed. You said you’re official with Y/N now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then she just need to accept it. She’ll move on now that she knows she really doesn’t have a chance.”

“Ari’s really nice, and pretty in her own right, I just like sportier girls, I always have.”

“Hey, I think Y/N’s hot, so you don’t have to explain it to me.” He smirks.

“Don’t ever say that to me again…but thanks.”

It was nearly 10:30 by the time Harry got back to his apartment. He goes straight to his room and flops onto his bed. He groans and then changes out of his nice clothes, and goes to do his nightly routine in the bathroom. He gets settled in bed, and takes his phone out.

Harry: goodnight, Y/N, sweet dreams <3

Y/N gets the text and nearly squeals. Harry was so sweet.

Y/N: night! <3

//

Y/N groans when her alarm goes off at 6AM. Sometimes she really hated having early ice times, but nonetheless she gets up and puts her warm ups on. She grabs her phone and decided to be a little cute.

Y/N: morning, Harry! Hope you have a great day :)

She gets her gym bag together, and meets Amanda and Gina downstairs. They each grab a granola bar, and head out the door.

Harry wakes up at 6:15 to get ready to go to the gym. His heart skips a beat when he sees Y/N’s good morning text, and the smile on his face grows wider as he rereads it.

Harry: morning, love, hope coach doesn’t go too hard on you

He looks outside and sees that it’s pretty nice out, and decides to just go for a run. Harry liked getting his workout over with in the mornings. It gave him a lot of energy for the day, and once it was done, it was done.

Coach had the girls sprint across the ice way too many times, and then he had them work on their slap shots. They scrimmaged until they couldn’t scrimmage anymore. He said that they better get it together for their next away game Wednesday. They needed to be able to win on the road, not just at home.

Y/N was drenched in sweat, as were the other girls. She peels her padding off and the rest of her clothes, and hops into the shower. She needed to look nice for one of her business classes today, so she puts on a pair of tan nylons to cover her legs. It was getting colder, but it wasn’t quite black-tights seasons yet. Then she puts on a green short-sleeve blouse, and pairs it with a black pencil skirt that comes to right above her knees. This was her “fancy” skirt for presentations. She straightens her hair and puts some makeup on, and then slips in her black flats. Amanda and Gina were dressed up too.

“We better get points for looking so nice, or I’ll kill this professor.” Gina says.

“Right? Like, there has to be style points.” Y/N says.

“Let’s just get up to campus and get this over with.” Amanda says. “A presentation at 8:15, who the fuck thought that was a good idea?”

The girls crushed their presentation, of course, but Y/N didn’t have time between her other classes to change, so she just toughs it out. She figures after lunch she can run home quickly to change into her workout clothes.

Andrew and Ari were in line at the dining hall, waiting to get sandwiches when they see Y/N walk by with some of the other hockey girls.

“What were you saying about her being frumpy?” Andrew says to her, nudging her arm.

“Stop it.” She groans. “I’m embarrassed enough for how I acted last night. I’m lucky Harry’s even sitting next to me.”

Y/N accidentally bumps into someone while she’s getting herself a glass of water.

“I’m so sorry, I…oh, hi, Harry.” She beams.

“Y/N, hi.” He blushes when he looks her up and down. “You look, um, nice.”

“Thanks, I had this stupid presentation for my marketing class this morning, and I haven’t had a chance to change yet. Hoping to after lunch.” They both walk into the dining area together. “I have like an hour before my next class so I’m gonna eat quick and head back.”

“Do you…want some help changing out of all that?” He asks, stepping close so no one hears him.

“Um…”

“I’m sitting right over there, come grab me when you’re done eating, yeah?”

“Okay.”

He smiles and kisses her cheek before walking away. Y/N goes over to sit down with her friends, face completely flushed.

“Are you alright?” Ashley asks.

“Yeah, um, I think I just made a dick appointment, so I can’t stay long.”

“Oh my god!” Ashley squeals. “Damn, with Harry?”

“Yeah.” Y/N smiles. “I told him I was going to change after lunch and he just asked me if I needed help.”

“Oh, shit!” Amanda laughs. “What a fuckboy thing to say, but damn, I don’t think I’d say no either.”

“He’s, like, way more smooth than I ever would have thought.”

Y/N only eats about half of her lunch out of nerves, and then says goodbye to everyone. She walks over to Harry’s table, and clears her throat. He looks over at her and smiles, getting up with his empty dishes. He says goodbye to his friends and walks out with Y/N. They put their dishes away, and then he grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers.

“This is okay, right? I’m not being too pushy?”

“No, I…I want you to come over.”

“Okay.” He smiles and they both walk a little faster to the student apartments.

Y/N nervously keys inside and they both run up to her room. She slams it closed and locks it, and the next thing she knows she’s being pinned up against it. Harry presses his front to hers, and groans into their kiss.

“Is this okay?” He breathes before moving to suck on her neck.

“Yes.” Her hands move to undo his pants. “Is this?”

“Yes.” He steps back to take his shirt off and wiggle out of his pants.

He grabs her and his hands slide to her ass to unzip the back of her skirt. It falls to the ground, pooling at her feet. He lifts her shirt overhead, and quickly unhooks her bra.

“Christ, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He leads her over to her bed, and lays her down. His fingers hook into her panties and he slides them down her legs. He licks his lips when he’s presented with her center. “You don’t mind if I have a little dessert, do you?”

“Please, indulge.” She leans up on her elbows to watch as he dives right in. “Oh, fuck.” Her head rolls back, and her hands rake through his hair.

He licks her up and down and moves his face from side to side. He sucks on her clit, and slides his middle finger inside her. She winces for a moment, and he pops off her to look at her.

“Are you still sore?”

“Um…only a little…but I really want you to keep going.”

“I don’t wanna do it if it’s gonna hurt.”

“Please, Harry? I really want you to fuck me again.”

“I just wish I had some lube or something to help soothe you…we’ll have to buy some.” He says more so to himself than to her before licking over her clit again. He does the next best thing, and just wells up some spit and lets it fall from his tongue to her center. She whimpers and he looks up at her. “Like that?”

“Yeah…it was sort of sexy…”

He does it again and then slides his middle finger back inside her. He’s able to get a second finger in, and he curls them both up against that spongey spot of her front wall. He uses his other thumb to rub around her clit. He looks up at her and can’t help but smirk when he sees her head rolled back into the pillow.

“Can tell you’re close, love, you gonna come for me?”

“Shit, oh my god, yes!” She cries out. His words put her over the edge and she comes around his fingers. He goes over to his backpack to grab a condom, and takes his boxers off so he can roll it on. He gets back on the bed between her legs.

 “You know, I never asked, are you on the pill or anything? I don’t mind using condoms, I’m just curious.”

“Yeah, I’m on the pill.” She puts her hands on his shoulders and smiles.

He hums his response and lines himself up with her. He starts to push inside, but he stops.

“Why’d you stop?” She pouts.

“Just wanted to make sure you still wanted to.”

“I do! Please, just keep going.”

He nods and slowly pushes inside her. He grunts once he’s all the way in, and stays there a moment before pulling out and pushing back in. Her mouth falls open from the pleasure.

“That feels really good.” She says, pressing kisses to chest.

“Yeah? Like it like this, babe?”

“Mhm.”

He continues to carefully thrust in and out of her. She bites her bottom lip, and decides to let him know how she’s feeling.

“Could we…could I…um…”

“What is it, baby? Tell me what you want.”

“What if I got on top?”

“You sure you wanna try that now? When’s your class?”

She looks off to her clock.

“I’ve got thirty minutes, plenty of time.”

“Alright.” He pulls out and switches spots with her. He sits up against the wall and waits for her. She gives him a funny look. “What?”

“Aren’t you supposed to lay down?”

“Not necessarily, I wanna help you, just come here.”

She crawls into his lap, and lines herself up with him. They both look down as she slowly sinks down on him. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment to get used to it. He helps her wraps her legs around his waist, and his hands grip her ass. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and he slowly thrusts up into her. Her eyes snap open when she feels how deep he’s able to go.

“Oh my god.” She looks at him. “Do that again.”

He slots his lips over hers and gets a rhythm going. She does her best to move along with him, but she doesn’t mind that he’s doing a lot of the work. She sucks his bottom between her teeth before moving to nibble on his earlobe.

“Harry.” She whines.

“Feels good?”

“Feels so good.” She bites down right on the crook of his neck and he groans.

His hands grip harder on her ass he moves her a little faster. Her clit was rubbing against him in the most perfect way, and she could feel another release approaching. She grips at his hair and tugs hard as she cries out into his chest. He spills into the condom as she comes down from her high. They both take a minute to sit there. He holds her close to him and rubs her back. He kisses her temple and then moves to her now puffy lips. He gives her a soft smile when he sees her mascara had run a bit. He uses his thumbs to help clean up under eyes, and it makes her giggle.

“I’ll just use a makeup wipe.” She pecks at his lips and slowly gets off him. “Blegh, I don’t like the way that feels at all.”

“It’s cause you’re so sensitive, babe.” He gets up and rids himself of the condom, putting his boxers and other clothes back on. He watches as she grabs a towel to wrap around herself.

“Mm, right, I forgot you were a sexologist.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m just gonna pee, I’ll be right back.”

She’s back in a couple minutes and he watches her rifle through her workout clothes. She settles on a pair of cropped leggings, a sports bra, and a t-shirt. She flips her hair over and puts it up in a messy bun, and then grabs a makeup up wipe to get everything off. She sits down next to him to lace up her sneakers.

“I’m not a sexologist.” He mumbles.

“I know, I was being sarcastic.” She smirks.

“I’m aware.” He sits back on her bed and she looks at him. “I did take a women’s health class last year, though, and we talked about things that can happen after sex, so that’s the only reason why I know that.”

“Why in the fuck did you take a women’s health class, Harry?” She nearly laughs.

“I don’t know, my mum said it would be a good idea…and it counted towards one of my gen eds. I actually learned a lot. You ladies, uh, have a lot to deal with.”

“Were there other boys in the class?”

“A couple. I mostly kept to myself, I didn’t want anyone thinking I was there just to meet girls or anything.”

“Tell me, what else did you learn?” She was intrigued now.

“Basically everything that goes on with your body from birth to death.”

“Is that how you learned to be so go in bed?” She blushes.

“No, but please, keep inflating my ego.” He grins. “How are you feeling right now?”

“Good, I may refrain from doing squats because my legs feel like jelly, but other than that, no complaints.” She leans back to kiss his cheek. “I have time to get it together during class anyways.” She looks over at her click. “Which I need to get to now.”

She stands up and so does he. He wraps his arms around her from behind and gives a squeeze before letting her go. As she walked to class she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She could definitely get used to having a boyfriend.

//

Things went on like this for a few a weeks. Harry and Y/N would meet up when they could for homework dates, keeping their actual tutoring sessions at the library so no funny business would happen. When they were alone, it was on just about every time. He tried to livestream her away games, and he was at every single one of her home games. When she gave him one of her jerseys from the previous year to wear, he tackled her and showered her with kisses. He wears it to all her home games now.

“You don’t have a game Saturday night, right?” He asks her one evening while doing homework.

“Nope, just during the afternoon, why?”

“There’s going to be free skate Saturday night, would you wanna go? I sort of have to be there for senate. I’ll understand if you won’t feel like it.”

“No! That sounds like fun. I never get to skate just for the hell of it. What time does it start? My, um, mom is coming to the game Saturday and she’s going to want to get dinner afterwards.”

“It starts at eight, and you’re mum’s coming?”

“Mhm.”

“Will I get to meet her?”

“Do you want to?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“I think I should, you’re my girlfriend after all. Does she know about me?”

“Of course she does! I told her a week or so after we made things official. She’s going to sit in the parent’s section most likely…”

“I don’t mind not sitting with the usual people I go with. It would give me some time to chat with her if I sit with her. I wanna make a good impression.”

“You’re so sweet.” She smiles.

“Your siblings aren’t coming?”

“Nah, they’ll hang back to watch the bar.”

“Cool, well, I’m excited. What have you told her about me?”

“I told her how smart you are and how we met because you’re tutoring me.” She shuffles his papers and laptop away to crawl into his lap. “And I told her how sweet you are, and how you always walk me home when it’s late, and stuff like that.”

“Oh.” He wraps his arms around her waist.

“And I told her about your major, and how you’re on senate, and that you’re an all-around good person. I sent her a picture of you and she agreed that you’re very cute.”

Harry can’t help but smile while he presses his lips to hers.

“The tattoos didn’t throw her off?”

“Not at all.” She scoffs. “My mom is pretty chill for the most part. She just wants me to be happy, and I am, so it’s no skin off her nose.”

“I told my mum about you too, you know. I told about how nice you are and how passionate you are about hockey, and how bright you are.”

“Oh, stop.”

“I mean it! I really admire you, Y/N. It takes a lot of work to balance being a student-athlete.”

“Thanks, Har.” She pecks his lips and nuzzles into his neck.

//

On Saturday, Harry explains to his friends that he’ll be sitting on the parent side of the arena to meet Y/N’s mom. He has the jersey that Y/N gave him on, so he wasn’t hard to find. He feels a tap on his shoulder just as he’s getting some ketchup onto his hotdog. He turns around and looks down to see a woman who sort of looked like Y/N.

“Hi, are you Harry? I could only assume since you’re wearing a jersey with my daughter’s name on it.”

“Yeah! Hi, are you Mrs. Y/L/N?”

“Mhm, please, just call me Angie.” She gives Harry a gentle hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Y/N told me so much about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. Did you want anything from concessions before we go in?”

“Oh, no, I’m all set, but thank you.” She smiles. “I’m so excited, this is the first game I’ve been able to get to all season. I heard you’ve been to every single one.”

“It’s important to support the women’s teams just as much as the men’s.”

“Well, I know how much it means to Y/N, so thank you.”

He follows her into the arena and they sit in a row a few up from the glass. Harry finishes his hotdog and tosses his trash into a nearby bin. Everything goes dark, and lights start flashing. The crowd cheers for both teams as they come onto the ice. Harry cheers and claps for Y/N, and so does her mother.

Y/N assists a goal, and the crowd goes wild. Later on she’s sent to the penalty box for knocking someone over, to which she argued with the ref about, to which Harry had to fight the blood rushing to his dick watching her get fired up. She sits there for the two minutes, and gets back on the ice. Harry chats with Y/N’s mom between periods, and the girls end up winning 3-1. It was a good game.

“I’m glad it’s over, I was really starting to get cold.” She chuckles as they go out to the lobby. “I was planning to take Y/N for a bite to eat once she’s done, would you like to join us?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna impose on your alone time…”

“Don’t be silly! You’re welcome to join, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Thanks, yeah, if she’s cool with it I’d be happy to join.”

Twenty or so minutes go by before Y/N emerges in the lobby. She had some ice wrapped around her shoulder, and a huge smile on her face when she sees her mom.

“Mum!” She runs over to her and they hug.

“Hi, sweetie.” She kisses her cheek. “What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“Nothing, the trainer just wanted it wrapped up.” She shrugs and goes over to hug Harry.

“Great game.” He says.

“Thanks.” She smiles and kisses his cheek. “Do you wanna join us for dinner?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Perfect, how does Chinese sound?” Her mom asks.

“Works for me.” Y/N says.

“Sounds good.” Harry says.

“Harry, I’ll need to go ready at my place before free skate. Ashley’s having a…get together tonight.”

“That’s fine, I’ll wanna change to.”

They tell each other as they climb into Angie’s car. She laughs to herself and shakes her head at Y/N.

“What?”

“You can just say you’re going to a party. You just won a game, of course you guys are gonna celebrate tonight.” She nudges her.

The three enjoy a nice Chinese buffet. Angie is able to get to know Harry a little more, and Y/N eats it up. Harry knew how to speak with adults since he had to do it often for student senate. He was definitely making a good impression.

“Want to just drop you off at your apartment, honey?”

“That’d be great mom, thanks.”

Angie gets out of the car to give Y/N a big hug and kiss goodbye, and she gives Harry a hug as well. Y/N keys into her apartment, and brings Harry upstairs with her.

“It shouldn’t take me too long, and then we can go to your place.”

“Take your time, we don’t need to be the first people there.” He says, settling to lounge on her bed.

He watches as she picks out a pair of ripped mom jeans and a long sleeve white crop top. She heard him laugh and she turns her head.

“What?”

“What’s the point of that having sleeves if half your stomach isn’t covered?”

“It’s going to be cold on the ice, and hot at Ashley’s. I’m just trying to help myself out for both scenarios.” She takes her hair out of its messy bun and shakes it out. She runs her straightener through it quickly, and then changes. She puts a little makeup on and looks at Harry. “Well?”

“Look good enough to eat, babe.”

“Don’t start.” She giggles. “Let’s go, you take longer than me to change.”

“I do not.” He says with fake offense.

“Yes, you do.” She boops his nose and tugs him out of her room.

“We’re going to free skate tonight, and then we’ll come to Ashley’s.” She says to Amanda, peeping her head into her room.

“Okay, we’ll see you later, have fun!”

Y/N and Harry make their way to his apartment, and head up to his room. He puts his contacts in, and peels his jersey and undershirt off. He finds a short-sleeve button up in his closet and throws that on with some jeans. He finds a jacket to wear over it and puts his beanie back on.

“Alright, ready?”

“Mhm.”

They make their way to the ice arena and get their skates. There was a small line which Harry was happy to see. He watches as Y/N nimbly laces up her skates, and she looks at him.

“Do you want some help with those?” She asks.

“Would you mind? I feel like I can never get them tight enough.”

“The trick is tug them down here first.” She kneels in front of him and it makes him blush to see her basically on her knees before him. “See? Feel the difference?” She looks up at him innocently.

“Um, yeah.” He swallows and she ties up his other skate. “Thanks.”

“No worries.”

She helps him up and they make their way onto the ice. There was a good amount of people skating, and there was music playing. Harry looks over to see his friends from senate.

“Hold my hand?” He asks and she giggles, taking it without question. They both gently glide their way over. “Nice turn out, huh?” He says to Andrew and Billy.

“Yeah! Awesome Weekends really pulled it together.” Billy says.

“I think the free cocoa and popcorn was nice a touch.” Andrew points over to small station off to the side of the arena. “Hi, Y/N, that was a great game earlier.”

“Oh! Thanks.” She smiles.

“I thought your penalty was bullshit, that girl nudged you first.” Billy says.

“That’s what I said! This is why they should just let us fight each other, it’s so annoying.”

“Where’s Ari?” Harry asks, looking around.

“Ah! She’s here with Scott Paxton.” Andrew points to the other end of the rink. “My jaw dropped when I saw her walk in with him.”

“Oh good, I’m glad she’s got a date.” Harry says relieved.

“Well, are we going to stand around, or are we skating?” Y/N asks.

“Aren’t you tired?” Billy asks.

“Not at all! I never get to just fuck around on the ice.”

She starts skating backwards to the beat of the song that’s playing, and Harry glides towards her, taking her hands in his.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Skate backwards.”

“Oh! It’s easy!” She frees her hands from him and skates around him so she’s behind him, hands on his hips. “It’s just like skating forwards, only backwards.”

“You’d be a horrible tutor, Y/N.” Harry chuckles.

“Shut up! You’ll see what I’m saying, just move with me, I’ve got you.”

He looks over his shoulder so he can see what they’re doing, and he watches as she moves her legs and he tries to do the same.

“See! You’re getting the hang of it.”

“Just don’t let go.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Y/N ends up skating around a bit while Harry talks with some of the student senate people towards the end of the event, but all in all they had a great time together. She helps him get his skates off, and he sighs with relief.

“I don’t know how you wear these all the time.” He says he gets his boots back on.

“You just get used to it.” She shrugs and stands up. “Ready to go have some more fun?”

“Mhm.” He takes her hand as they walk out of the arena, and towards Ashley’s apartment. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah! It was great.”

“It was like being on a little date, huh?”

“Mhm.” She smiles up at him. “You looked cute skating.”

“Did I? Thought I looked like an idiot.”

“Oh stop, you’re decent enough for someone who doesn’t skate every day of their life.”

“Last year I took one of those one credit courses so I could take a skating lesson. That’s the only reason I didn’t fall flat on my ass.” This makes Y/N laugh and loop her arm through Harry’s to keep him close. “I liked the way you hung onto me to show me some stuff.”

“See, I ended up being a pretty decent teacher after all. Our methods are just different.”

They get to Ashley’s and head right in. She tells them they can leave their jackets in the hall closet if they want, and then head into the kitchen. Y/N was allowed to have whatever alcohol she wanted, and by proxy, so could Harry. He makes them up some vodka cranberries, and they both head downstairs to join a game of beer pong.

Y/N goes off to hang out with her friends, and Harry does the same, knowing a few people at the house. She does some shots with them and makes her way back over to Harry, tugging him away to come dance with her. She grinds her ass against his pelvis, and his hands press into her hips. She loved that Harry wasn’t one of those guys that was too scared to dance. It made going to parties with him so much more fun. After a couple of songs, she can feel how incredibly hard he is against her.

“Yours or mine tonight?” He asks as he nips at her neck. Her arm hooks up around him so she can tug at his hair. Her head falls back to his shoulder.

“Yours, want the bigger bed.”

“Yeah? Wanna have a little more room, babe?”

“Mhm.” She nearly whines.

“You ‘bout ready to go?”

“Yeah, take me home, baby.” She pouts at him.

He lets her walk in front of him to hide his boner as they grab their jackets. He gives her a piggy-back ride back to his place, and he gets her inside, up the stairs, and into his room. They both kick off their shoes, and once their jackets are off, she’s on him. Her tongue licks its way into his mouth and he happily sucks on it, loving the way he could taste the cranberry juice from her mixer.

Her hands slide down his torso, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way, and then she tugs at his belt. His hands grope her ass and then her breasts before pulling her shirt off. He places needy kisses down her chest before getting her bra off, and tackling her onto the bed. She giggles as she gets a little more comfortable.

“Want me to suck on it first, Harry?”

“Please.” He flops next to her and she straddles him. She kisses down his chest and undoes his pants. She tugs his hard cock out and puts her mouth right on him.

He bucks his hips up slightly as she pumps what she can’t fit. She tugs his pants and boxers down further so she can grip onto his thighs. His hands rake through her hair to keep it back for her.

“So fucking good, Y/N.” He bites his bottom lip as he watches her bob her head up and down. She moans around him as a response, and he nearly loses it. “I’m gonna come if you keep doing that, and I’d like to fuck you, so.” He pulls her head off him, and his mouth falls open when he sees the string of spit between his tip and her bottom lip. “Christ.” He yanks her up to him and crashes their mouths together.

He bites and sucks on her bottom lip, and she rolls her hips down on him. He winces, not liking the way her jeans feel against his bare dick. He gets her on her back to get her pants off. Once they’re both naked, he hovers over her so he can kiss her lips again, sliding his fingers between her folds. She gasps when she feels two fingers slide inside her. He twists and curls them and it has her moving her hips along the same way. He watches her face and love the way she makes eye contact with him.

“You like that, babe?” He asks.

“Yes, fuck, don’t stop.” She pleads with him as if he would ever be so mean to tease her and pull his fingers away. He’d give her anything she wanted, she never needed to beg.

He kisses on her neck while his thumb rubs against her clit. She scratches at his shoulders, and she moans out his name. He takes his fingers away and kisses her before reaching for a condom.

“Har?”

“Yeah?” He asks as he rolls it on.

“Would you bend me over the bed?”

“Y/N, if you’re fucking with me I’m gonna be super pissed.” He glares at her.

“I’m not! I mean it, please! I like when we do it from behind, I just wanna try it this way.”

“Alright, get up.” He helps her off the bed, and then she bends over in front of him, propping herself up on her elbows. She wiggles her bottom at him, and he gives her a little smack, making her giggle. “Ready?”

“Mhm, give it to me.”

He lines himself up and pushes inside. She moans out lowly. He starts out by gripping her hips, rocking in and out of her. He wanted to ease her into it.

“I can handle more, Harry, it’s okay.”

“Want it harder, baby?”

“Please.”

He pulls out almost all the way and slams back inside her. Her mouth falls open, and she grips the blankets as he does it over and over. He has to grip onto the back of her neck to keep her in place once he gets an even pace going. All she could hear was his skin slapping against hers. His other hand slips around to rub on her clit and she backs up against him.

“Think you can fuck yourself on my cock while I rub on you?”

“I can try…” She was so fucking wet just from hearing him say that. She moves forward and back, on and off his cock while he rubs on her clit.

“That’s it, babe, use me.”

“Jesus, Harry.” She groans, and bites her bottom lip so she could concentrate. “Oh my god.”

He presses further into her while she backed up on him. She loses it then. He has to move one of his hands over her mouth to muffle her screams. He spills into the condom, the feeling of her squeezing around him did him in. He kisses the backs of her shoulders before pulling out and getting rid of the condom. She collapses onto the bed.

“Alright?” He rubs her back and helps her the rest of the way up.

“Yeah, that was just…wow.” She looks up at him. “I need to pee.”

She looks around and finds her jersey that he was wearing earlier. She was much more comfortable going by herself now, so she waddles out of his room. He can’t help but grow hard again. She just looked so sexy only in her jersey. She comes back in looking freshly fucked and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“Nothing…um…” His face was flushed and her eyes flick down to his hard cock and back to his eyes.

“Are you already hard again?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” She chuckles.

“You look so fucking hot like that. I can wait if you don’t wanna go again so soon.”

“What would you have me do?”

“Come sit on me, bounce up and down?”

“Okay.” She bites her bottom lip.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m still pretty wet, see?” She lifts the bottom of her jersey so he could see. “Even with going to the bathroom, I just couldn’t help but think about how good it felt.”

“You’re soaked.”

“Mhm.”

“Get over here.” He leans over to his desk and grabs a condom, but she takes it from him. “What are you doing?”

“Do you…I don’t know…maybe not want to use one?”

“That’s how accidents happen.”

“I’m on the pill, I never miss one. I have them with me so I can take it in the morning like I usually do. You could come on my stomach of you feel more comfortable with that. I just wanna feel you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She goes to take the jersey off but he shakes his head no. “Leave it on.” He says lowly.

She crawls onto his lap and sinks down on him. He lays back and lets her go to work. She moves around in a circle at first and then starts to move up and down. His hands grips her hips and then smooth over the globes of her ass.

“You’re so fucking sexy like this, you have no idea.”

“You feel so good, Harry.” She throws her head back as she bounces up and down on him.

“Shit, so do you.”

He wasn’t going to last long, but he wanted to make sure she got hers before he did, so he lifts the jersey a little to rub her sensitive clit.

“Harry!” She gasps and claws down his chest with her nails. “Shit, oh my god!” She comes around him much sooner than she thought.

He pulls her off him, and press her front into the mattress. He lifts the jersey up so he can come on her ass and back. He sighs with relief once he’s done.

“Let me get a towel, babe, one second.” He slides his boxers on and rummages in his closet. Once he finds a spare towel he leaves the room. She was confused but when he comes back she feels warm water on her. He flips her over and wipes between her legs. Her eyes grow wide. He had never done that before. He looks at her and blushes. “Sorry, was that weird?”

“No! I just…you’re just always a gentleman, Harry.” She chuckles.

He tosses the towel into his hamper and practically rips the jersey off her so they could lay skin to skin. He pecks kisses to her lips and chest and rubs her back as they settle in. He pulls the blankets up over them and they both sigh.

“I like your bed so much better than mine.” She nuzzles into his chest. “So cozy.”

“Your bed is cozy too.”

“Yeah, but we have way less room, and as much as I love you, we both get too sweaty in my dinky bed.” She didn’t realize what she said until she feels his body stiffen under hers. She props herself up to look down at him. “I mean, I just meant, um-“ He cups one of her cheeks.

“Don’t you dare try to take it back.”

“It just slipped out…I-“

“Stop.” He shakes his head. “You love me?”

“Harry, I…yeah, I do, I love you.” He pulls her face down to his so he can kiss her.

“I love you, too.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” She smiles. “Well, this is nice for us.”

“Yeah.” He chuckles. “It’s very nice.” She starts laughing too. “What is it?” He asks as he turns them both over so he can spoon her.

“Nothing, I’m just really fucking glad I had no idea how the brain functioned so I could get you as a tutor.”

[a-nice-and-interpretive-fanzine]

[ID: A cream-colored banner that says "A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: essays and art about the meanings we've found in Good Omens." There is a photo of a book page with a key on it behind the banner text. The photo source is rosy_photo on Pixabay. /end ID]

A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine: Information Masterpost

Welcome!

This is a zine for those of us who love the subtle, complex work that is Good Omens, and who’ve enjoyed the thoughtfulness of the fandom as people interpret how the many moving pieces of the story come together, creating a slightly different meaning for each of us.

To put it simply, it’s a book full of the fandom’s own analysis and commentary about the Good Omens TV show, enhanced with illustrations from our brilliant artists.

This zine is analytical in the sense that all the writers are expressing their own nonfiction thoughts and feelings about the show, rather than writing fanfic, but it is not meant to be heavily academic. Anybody who likes to pick apart the series and discuss it should be able to enjoy it.

The zine will contain essays by fans who are passionate about analyzing and interpreting different parts of Good Omens - the characters, the plot, the writing techniques for the book and script, the cinematography of the TV show, the popular content of the fandom itself. Accompanying these essays will be black and white illustrations from our artists.

How are you organizing this process?

May 1-May 15: Everyone submits their application to do writing or art through a Google form. Behind the scenes, I’ll be setting up a separate email and Discord.

May 16-20: Applicants will be screened during this time.

May 20: I’ll email everyone to let them know the outcomes of their applications. The final participants will get a link to the Discord server for the zine (totally optional, of course).

May 21: If there’s any clarification or solidifying of ideas that needs to happen, I’ll contact you and discuss with you by this point. This is also when artists will be matched up with essays.

May 22 to August 14: This will be a period of just working on our essays and art. The Discord chat and Tumblr will be there for support and for exchanging ideas!

August 15: Participants need to email their full works to the zine’s email address by this date. No special formatting is needed; I’ll do that in InDesign.

August 15 to August 31: I’ll be putting the zine together in InDesign.

September 1: Preorders will open.

September 30: Preorders will close.

October 1: The zine order will be placed!

October 15: Assuming all goes well with printing and shipping, the zines will be shipped out in waves starting on this date. If the printing or shipping from the manufacturer is delayed, then shipping will just start ASAP.

Writer Application HERE Artist Application HERE Asked and Answered Questions on Tumblr The Fanzine's Page on Twitter

Read below for more detailed information about the zine in a Q and A format!

What are the specifications for the zine contributions?

For writers, I’m starting with 3k words or fewer per essay (approximately 10 pages at the size of this book). This depends heavily on how many participants we actually get, so it may change!

For artists, I’d be looking at black and white works, 300 DPI, 5.5 x 8.5 inches or smaller. If your art is supposed to fill up the entire page (i.e. no white space), please make it a total of 5.75 x 8.75 inches with nothing too important around the edges to account for bleed during the printing process.

Can I submit an essay to this zine if I’ve already posted it on Tumblr?

Not as you’ve already posted it. We don’t want to just copy/paste the exact thing that hundreds or perhaps even thousands of people have already read.

However, it IS fine and maybe even a good idea to take the same thought from your post and refine it, preserving your same thesis. For example, a lot of Tumblr posts are just us fans jotting down 5 or 6 paragraphs of random thoughts at 2 AM, but some of them are really cool thoughts! Expanding them and turning them into a bona-fide Essay would make those posts into excellent zine chapters. And you can copy small pieces of your own language as long as the whole thing isn’t just pasted word-for-word.

How long do essays have to be? Is there a limit?

With the number of writers we have, I've calculated that each person should ideally keep their essay to about 6000 words. There is wiggle room.

There’s no real minimum for your contribution; some analytical ideas are really good but can be expressed concisely, so it’s okay if your essays only come out to a few pages typed. For reference, with our book size, a page is about 300 words.

What happens if the zine sells a lot and you end up not only breaking even, but turning a profit?

It’ll go to charity. While I’ll ask the participants what they want to do for certain if we do make enough money, my suggestion will be donating it to Alzheimer’s Research UK in honor of Sir Terry Pratchett.

I’m not really comfortable calling this a “charity zine” up front since I simply don’t know if it will raise a significant amount. For the most part, I just want the thing to physically exist, which means breaking even, and don’t want to make it more expensive for buyers than it needs to be to afford the printing costs.

What kinds of essays are you talking about? What could be included?

In short, any analytical thoughts about the Good Omens TV show - and possibly even the fandom as it interacts with the show - are possible inclusions for the zine.

To expand a bit, think about the meta posts you see floating around Tumblr. Often these involve analyzing characters, or picking up on patterns in the plot. Sometimes fans use their own background knowledge to write posts about the significance of certain costume choices or the way music plays into each individual scene. Some posts examine the ways the series approaches gender, while others might discuss ways that the characters present as neurodivergent. That’s how diverse the pool of possibilities is for subjects in this zine.

How does art come into this?

Images will be black and white, to match the bookish mood of the project overall. Images can range in size from a half page to a full page.

I’m planning to talk to the artists and authors and loosely pair artists with essays that appeal to their personal interests.

I know how to illustrate a story, but how do I illustrate an essay?

There are infinite answers to this! I’ve seen some beautiful symbolic artwork in the fandom already (e.g. a number of takes on Aziraphale munching on an apple with Crowley in snake form curving around him), and there are tons of symbolic motifs to draw from, but these are not the only options. An artist illustrating an essay about cinematography, for example, could draw a well-known scene from an alternative angle. An essay about Heaven as a capitalist corporation could be illustrated with a cartoon of Gabriel giving some sort of excruciating PowerPoint presentation. A character analysis could be accompanied by a simple portrait. And on and on. I’m not interested in limiting the possibilities by trying to make a list, but just know that there are many and you don’t have to make it complicated if you don’t want to.

If the writers can reuse their essay ideas, can artists reuse their drawings?

Similarly to the writers, if you already have an interpretive drawing that you’re in love with, artists can use the same ideas and the same fundamental composition that is present in their own existing work. However, it has to be redone in some significant way. Whether it’s taking something you drew in 2019 and redrawing it using an updated style, taking a sketch and turning it into a lined and shaded piece, or redoing a full-color drawing so it presents more strikingly in black and white, it shouldn’t be identical to the thing you’ve already posted.

So how are you choosing participants here?

It’ll be based on what people are interested in writing about (or illustrating). I’ll be looking for people who are passionate about their essays, but I’ll also be looking for variety. It all depends on what people want to offer, so I won’t know for sure what it will look like put together until everyone’s application is in.

For artists, I’ll be trying to figure out whose style looks like it would adapt well to illustrations in black and white, and also who demonstrates an interest in the same subjects as the writers.

If we don’t get a lot of applicants, I’d love to simply include everyone, but I can’t commit to that without knowing for sure how many people are involved.

Do I have to use a formal writing style to participate?

No. You should use a style that makes your thoughts and ideas as clear as possible, but as long as it’s understandable, you can also get a little artistic with it. You can “write like you speak,” though perhaps in a more organized way. You definitely don’t need to worry about stylistic rules like not using the first person. This is not academia.

Is this zine going to center only on Crowley and Aziraphale?

That remains to be seen! It depends on what ideas show up in the applications. There will be a lot of the ineffable partners for sure, but whether the whole zine will center on them or whether there’s plentiful stuff about other characters will depend on what the participants suggest.

Do we have to agree with all your personal interpretations of Good Omens to be in the zine?

No! In fact, I’m assuming that a number of essays will contradict each other, too, and that’s perfectly okay. The zine is a sampler of fan interpretations meant to inspire, not instruct. It’s not “Here’s a fan-made guide on how to understand this TV show,” it’s “Look at all these moving parts and how many meanings we can find in them. What does it mean to you?”

However, there are some basic rules and assumptions by which I’m working here.

I don’t personally have the energy to include essays that are highly critical (“negative”) in this zine. It’s analytical but also meant to be fun.

I’m pretty focused on the TV adaptation. This isn’t “no book analysis allowed” but just that the essays will end up being weighted toward subjects that apply to either the TV show or both the book and the show.

Each writer should focus on making their own points over disproving other fan interpretations. If you’re writing in an expository style, it’s normal for the essay to contain rebuttals to opposing ideas, but these should be minor supporting points, not the heart and soul of your essay. For reference, I’d say the majority of meta I see floating around on tumblr would follow this rule just fine.

Essay ideas that seem to contain bigoted or exclusionary sentiments will not be accepted (no TERFy stuff, for example).

What kinds of editing will go into the zine? Are you going to argue with us about the contents of our writing?

While I might ask you to elaborate on certain points in your writing or clarify your thoughts about your subject, I’m absolutely not here to ask you to change the thesis, opinions, or headcanons on which your writing is based. If I really have a problem with your initial idea, I’ll tell you that up front and politely decline the contribution.

While formatting the zine, I’ll make minor edits if I think I see a typo or misspelling, something small and obviously unintentional. As with any other zine, your content won’t be changed without consulting you.

Is this a SFW zine?

Yes. If people want to discuss sexuality in a theoretical way, like erotic subtext, that would be allowed. There are canon references like Newt and Anathema’s moment under the bed that might come up, too. But there will be nothing explicit, and since these are essays instead of stories, there will be no “action” going on between characters. Let’s just say sex isn’t a forbidden topic, but it will be like discussing it in English class.

As for other topics that could make the zine NSFW, like gore or extreme language, I don’t think they will be an issue. Some dark topics, like abuse by Heaven and Hell, may be discussed, but they will be warned for, and these are not stories, so you aren’t going to see violent actions playing out.

Will there be any “extras” like charms or stickers?

I’m not sure yet. I’m most inclined to keep it simple, because of the nature of the zine, but would be open to including some bonus items if there’s an artist who’s really passionate about it.

With that said, I am pretty committed to making a hardcover edition of the book available, in addition to the standard softcover version.

You’re doing this with only one mod?!

Yes. I personally find it easiest. While I’ve worked on multi-mod projects in other domains and adore all of my co-mods, it’s a little bit different when it’s a project with this many moving pieces that includes real-life components like printing and shipping. Though there are a lot of individual things to be done, I am experienced with all of them, so it’s less overwhelming to just take on the whole project. That way, I know exactly what needs to be done and when, and there are no issues with assigning tasks.

What qualifies you to run this zine?

The résumé answer: in fandom, I successfully solo-modded a large not-for-profit zine in the past, the @soulmakazine2018, and while I can’t speak for the whole fandom, it definitely seemed to be well-received. <3 In real life, I’m a case manager and this involves coordinating and communicating with a lot of different people including my 100-person caseload, budgeting services, and filling out all kinds of paperwork on the fly, all skills that can be imported into zine work.

The practical answer: well, I’m the one who decided to start this project, so if you like the sound of it, you're stuck with me. I say with encouragement and enthusiasm that if you’d like to do a different take on a commentary zine, you should absolutely do it.

[sleepylixie]

Cupid’s Arrow-1

Boxer! Lee Know x fem! Reader

2k words, Romance, College AU(Imperium Universe-4) 

Songs: Tiger Inside- Super M

A/N : Y’all heard right. Part-1. Tumblr deleted the draft i was working on here, leaving me only with the first half of the fic that I wrote on Docs. I'm so sorry for the delay @delicatewerewolfsoul I'll make sure to get that posted asap 🥺💕 This fic can be read individually, of course. :) Do let me know what y’all think about this story!! ONTO THE FIC. - Elliana

Imperium Universe: Jisung || Seungmin ||Lee Know || Chan

“Who the everloving heck are you?!” You yell, hands banging roughly against the surface of the table. Assorted shushes and glares were instantly directed towards you, the closest being the admonishing stare of Mark Lee, your best friend.

“You do realize we are in a library?” He hissed, a mess of dark brown hair swinging over his brow as he shook his head at you. You rolled your eyes at him, only turning your attention back to the source of your annoyance- your laptop screen.

“This is the 13th ask I’ve received about the same M in this semester.” You retorted, albeit quieter than your initial outburst. Mark’s brows furrowed, lips pouting in a frown as he absentmindedly turned over a page of his book. “How do you even know it’s the same M? It could very well be one person sending the same ask 13 times.”

“You were the genius who put together the one-ask per account rule in the first place!” You threw your arms up in exasperation, the volume control still proving to be a bit of a struggle. “Besides, they’re all worded really differently, look-” You turned your laptop to face Mark, who leaned forward to scan the words on your screen.

A sleek red website sat open in an incognito tab, punctuated with assorted dove-grey boxes full of questions and curiosities, the sidebar flashing a pretty name- Lovelorn Secretkeeper(LLS). Your best friend chuckled as he read the questions on the site. “People have it bad for this dude.”

“I know! They even say the exact same thing, that he’s too out of their league to even try, but he’s too handsome and talented,” punctuating handsome and talented with exaggerated hand movements, “to not try- What do they expect me to tell them!?”

As cliche as it sounded, Lovelorn Secretkeeper was your university’s anonymous love-guru and wine aunt, meting out advice about crushes and heartbreak solutions like over-the-counter pills. People caught wind of it days after the website mysteriously popped up on the informal forums, impossible to trace altogether. Tens of questions poured in by the day, all questions from lovelorn souls asking for the help of the elusive apparition running the site.

If only Everlark University knew that LLS was run by not one, but two apparitions- both of whom were currently puzzling over the identity of a certain M who had turned up on their list of secrets once too often.

“How difficult do you think it would be to find out who M is?” Mark mused, pushing the laptop back towards you. “I mean, you know he’s a dancer and he’s handsome, so why don’t you, I don’t know,” a nonchalant shrug moving his shoulders, “ask the girls you know, I guess? I’m sure word gets around fast if he’s as hot as these questions scream he is.”

The cogs in your head began to turn, albeit rather unwillingly. You weren’t the most social person despite being aware of status quos your university’s student functioned on- was this Dora-the-explorer-esque expedition to find the elusive M absolutely necessary?

No, it wasn’t, you realized, but your own curiosity wouldn’t be satisfied until you found out who it was that had managed to enamour these many people all while looking evidently unavailable.

“Yeah, I’ll probably do that.”

//

“Hey! Y/N, Right?” A pretty girl sidled up to you on the other side of the bar, her fingers slightly awkward around the glass she was cleaning. New to the trade, you thought belatedly as you smiled politely and nodded at her.

Imperium Bar was just beginning to fill up with students and teacher’s assistants, ready to celebrate the end of yet another week with some cheap alcohol and good times. It was barely halfway through the semester but people inevitably ended up drowning in work- such was the life of a normal student in university, always busy and bustling with full checklists-

“You’re looking for Minho, I heard.” she grinned setting down one glass and picking up the other.

“Yes, I am.” You responded lightly, your eyes still grazing over the slowly filling booths and tables from the corner of the counter you were sitting at.

“He is pretty handsome, really good in the ring. You have a good eye.”

By ring, you could only assume that the new bartender of Imperium meant the stage. You’d spent the past week asking around for a possibly new admit to Everlark who happened to be a dancer and unattainably handsome. To your surprise, your search was cut short in the matter of days when Yeji, a junior in your class pointed you to Lee Felix from her class who knew a Lee Minho. Lee Minho, a transfer student from Everlark’s sister university on the other side of the city, with an express acceptance into the dance club Felix was a part of.

“You’ll find him in Imperium on Fridays,” Felix had the sweetest disposition, a warm smile on his face as he divulged information about his seemingly old friend with great ease. “You should drop by if you want to see him!”

Your better judgement yelled at you to forget the chase- you knew his full name, it was just the matter of a social media stalk before you found out what you needed to know for your 13( now 16) askers. However, you found yourself pulling on a dark hoodie and slipping into the bar on Friday evening, shivering slightly from the cool breeze. You were just curious, you were sure. Just curious.

“Felix! Over here!” The bartender raised an arm in greeting to somebody behind you and moments later, Felix’s dark mane of hair made its way into your line of sight. His eyes were slight crescents on his face as he smiled, the sunny amiability prompting a smile to creep over your face as well.

“Hello, Felix.”

“Sorry for making you wait!” Felix pulled you into a quick hug, before cocking his head towards the back of the bar. “Let’s go, he’s already down there.”

An eyebrow raised in curiosity, you dragged your eyes between Felix and the bartender as you hopped off the stool. “Down...where?”

Felix’s eyes widened, the bartender letting out a gasp of surprise. “Uh…” Your new friend’s voice trailed off in uncertainty, wide and beseeching eyes immediately darting towards the bartender for help. “Oops.”

“Your access should really be revoked, you troublemaking gremlin.” The bartender accused, tossing her dishcloth at him and reaching over to smack him across the head before turning to you.

“There’s been a misunderstanding, Y/N. Junior moron here-” waving indistinctly in Felix’s direction, “is talking about the cellars. Minho works part time here, so he’s usually getting into the stocks in the cellar downstairs. Felix forgot about the rule stating that patrons can’t-”

“At least try to lie convincingly.” You cut through her tirade, a choked laugh from Felix punctuating her surprised silence. Possibly not the most polite thing to say, in hindsight, but her attempts to cover up whatever was going on in the cellar was just getting difficult to hear. You smiled quietly, eyes dragging between Felix’s eyes, alive with mirth to the bartender’s, flat with suspicion.

“It’s not illegal, is it?” You let the question slip loud enough for the two of them to hear. The bartender nodded the exact moment Felix shook his head. A giggle bubbled up your throat at the instant glance of betrayal that passed between the two of them.

“I’ll keep silent about this if the two of you will.” You grinned, shrugging slightly as you pushed the strap of your bag further up your shoulder. Felix let another crow of laughter, twining his arm with yours as he steered you towards the dark back door of Imperium, waving off the bartender’s expasterated shouts to be careful, for fuck’s sake-

“You seem like such a cool person,” Felix giggled as you followed his lead, making your way past the tables and groups of people and back into the cool air outside. . “I was a little intimidated by you at first but you’re actually really cool.” You laughed aloud as Felix knocked thrice on a door next to the bar’s back door in a neat pattern.

“Good to know you think so, junior.”

Just then, the door swung open to a set of stairs and a wave of noise much louder than what you were used to.

“Welcome to the real Imperium.”grinned Felix.

//

You did not think this was where you’d be spending your Friday night- in the basement of a bar with higher ceilings than you thought was possible, the roar of voices settling you more firmly into reality than anything else you’re ever experienced.

The second you and Felix reached the bottom of the stairs, you could see the crowd gathered around the center of the space, the flood lights pointed towards whatever was going on in the middle. There were sparse groups of people scattered throughout, a makeshift bar and couches spread haphazardly around one side while the windows at the top of the walls were left open for some semblance of ventilation. Despite the number of people in the underground space, it didn’t feel… suffocating.

“Do you mind blood or gore?”

Your eyes narrowed; what even was this place? “No.”

Before you could question it, Felix was pulling you towards the crowd and into it, easily slipping between the spaces towards the attraction in the center. You allowed him to lead you, as you had the entire night, until the two of you re-emerged at the edge of the-

The ring.

It looked very much like a boxing ring, but on the same floor level as the audience. Inside were two guys circling each other, breath heaving in puffs of smoke against the chilled air through gritted teeth. They were both dressed in contrasting red and blue, their clenched fists enclosed in hand-wraps. The two guys slipped in and out of the stark shadows that the criss-cross of the floodlights created until one of them caught your eye-

Lee Minho. You didn’t need the yelled introduction Felix was giving you because there was no other way to describe that other than unattainably handsome. Suddenly, the 18 askers in LLS made sense- of course, of fucking course this face seemed impossible to match up to.

You watched in bated curiosity, your eyes scanning him and his opponent- and Minho made the first move. The crowd dissolved into roars of encouragement as he went in for a clean right hook, his movements smooth and feline-fluid. He was confident, you realized as you watched him dodge and block and strike with an almost bored, practiced ease. No, he was good at looking confident. The set of his jaw was nothing but confident, his teeth bared in a snarl of fake amusement as he lunged at his opponent, the fight dissolving into a tangle of arms and legs rolling against the concrete floor.

“He’s one of the best this season.” Felix yelled over the din of the crowd, but your eyes were still trained on the match. “You don’t say.” You shouted back, catching yet another glimmer of amusement light up your companion’s face before turning your attention back to the fight.

Yes, he truly seemed like the best- your breath caught in your throat at Minho’s unhesitant, almost instinctual manner of moving, already on the other side of his opponent before he could even throw a swing. His poor opponent was almost effortlessly pummeled to the ground soon after, a grin of triumph pulling up his lips and the nasty looking bruise high on his cheekbone as he was announced the winner.

His eyes scanned the exultant crowd, catching on yours for a split second before moving away-

You let out a long breath as he hopped out of the ring and into the dark of the surroundings. So it was him.

This was the M your askers were going on and on about-

For the first time, you were in agreement with them.

Lee Minho truly did seem unattainable.

//

Taglist/Interested Parties 🥴: @aliceu @decembermoonskz @rebecca-noona @skzctnightnight @fylithia @illicit-roses @cotccotc @straykidsownmysoul @soya-zz @stellarmonsterr @seraplantery @jl-micasea \\ @inkidz @starryktown @districtninewriters @stayhavens​  

Do let me know what you think! - Elliana

[underfell-crystal]

Item #: SCP-4885

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Currently, it is only theorized that SCP-4885 is contained. To further elaborate, SCP-4885 is contained within an unknown Class-17 Containment Chamber in an unknown site. In the event that SCP-4885 breaches containment, Procedure Invenient Eum is to be enacted, which consists of the following procedures:

Thirty six Class-17 Containment Chambers are to be connected to an independent self-driving vehicle. At all times, 216 inactive Containment Chambers are to be readily available in case of sudden and unforeseen breach of SCP-4885's containment.

One D-Class subject of stable mental health is to be submitted into the vehicle, and driven into the system. A cryptographically secure pseudorandom number generator is to choose a random number between one and thirty-six, and the vehicle is to be transported to a Containment Chamber based on the number chosen.

Each Containment Chamber has a single digital monitor that is capable of outputting video at 720p resolution. Once a D-Class subject is transported to a random chamber, a message is to be sent to every monitor simultaneously. This message consists of the current location of SCP-4885, delivered via an implanted tracking device. The GPS is only accessible by Level 5 Personnel or SCP-4885 containment staff on a need to know basis.

After approximately two hours, each containment chamber is to be transported to a randomly designated Foundation site via self-driving trucks. The trucks are to be disguised as a packaging service in order to prevent suspicion. In the event an accident occurs during this stage, Procedure Invenient Eum is to be enacted again.

No personnel who are aware of SCP-4885's existence are to go within 100 meters of any Class-17 Containment Chamber. Several signs and warnings have been placed around each chamber, labeling it as a water treatment room, and that attempted access is punishable by immediate amnestication and loss of employment as decided by the Ethics Committee.

These warnings tell personnel to report to a nearby Automated Site Overseer of any leaks from the chamber, in which the person will be visually amnesticized by the Overseer, and Procedure Invenient Eum will be reenacted. For more information regarding the composition of Class-17 Containment Chambers, please consult Document 7631.00.

Currently, SCP-4885-1 instances that are located via far2.AIC are contained within Location i. The whereabouts of Location i is only known to far2.AIC. Currently, far2.AIC is connected to 80% of CCTV security cameras within the United States, and 40% of total CCTV security cameras on Earth.

SCP-4885-1 instances discovered by far2.AIC will have specialized Foundation carrier drones to be dispatched and attempt to grab the body, and carry it to Location i, using routes that minimize the chance of unwanted civilian interference. In the event that a civilian notices a drone and SCP-4885 breaches containment, the drone will send an "All Alert" message to SCP-4885's containment team, and Procedure Invenient Eum will be enacted.

In the event that Location i's whereabouts are discovered at large, the next personnel located within Document PAINT-THE-TOWN-YELLOW will establish the next Location i, and their immediate family will be notified of their death.

Description: SCP-4885 is an anomalous humanoid resembling the main character of the popular series of puzzle books "Where's Wally?" (known in the US as "Where's Waldo?"). This entails that SCP-4885 wears a horizontal red and white striped shirt, a red and white bobble hat, and jeans. However, a noticeable difference in appearance from the character is the entity's paler skin and the lack of eyes.

In the event that a subject knows of SCP-4885's current location at any given time1, SCP-4885 will move to the nearest wall and begin to "phase" into it. SCP-4885 will appear inside of the subject, and will reach up the esophagus and grab the subject's chin through their mouth.

SCP-4885 will then proceed to pull themselves through the subject, destroying their internal organs and their spine. Once this has occurred, a yellow liquid will exit the corpse's mouth and will cover the subject entirely, which causes it to become an SCP-4885-1 instance. SCP-4885 will remain in its current location, occasionally patrolling the area, until another person discovers its location once again.

However, if SCP-4885 is close enough to the subject when they discover its location, they will instead approach the subject, attempt to climb into the subject's mouth, enter their abdomen and exit their body through the subject's pelvis. During this time, SCP-4885 can easily dislocate/relocate any joint in its body, and its skin and muscles will gain the consistency of a malleable solid, allowing it to easily climb into and out of the subject.

SCP-4885-1 instances are anomalous corpses that were created by SCP-4885. The entire body of an SCP-4885-1 instance is covered in illustrations similar to those found in Where's Wally? books, with many different characters appearing on the instance's skin. These illustrations originate from the liquid that exits the corpses' mouth. Currently, no instances of the cartoon character "Wally" have been found on an SCP-4885-1 instance. These illustrations cannot be removed from the subject unless the skin it is placed on is removed.

If a subject knows the location of any given SCP-4885-1 instance, SCP-4885 will teleport itself to the subject and kill them in the exact same manner as if they discovered SCP-4885 itself. This will also transform them into an SCP-4885-1 instance.

SCP-4885 was discovered residing in [LOCATION REDACTED] within a small wooden house. Mobile Task Force Chi-19 ("Unrelenting Punishment") was sent to capture an entirely separate anomaly, and did not know of SCP-4885's existence.

Subjects: Amelia Merrick (M-1), James Klein (M-2), Kurt Stoll (M-3)

[BEGIN LOG]

M-1: Mic check.

M-2: Yup.

M-3: All good.

M-1: Equipment check.

M-2: Everything's working as intended.

M-3: Ditto.

M-1: Transcript number… 67. We are entering the house.

M-3: No one's talking to you Melly.

M-2: Oh, stop it. Now is not the time, Kurt.

M-3: Heh, right, sorry.

The group enters the house.

M-1: Initial descriptions of the object were a pair of black spectacles capable of killing the user, and covering their body in strange pictures from an unknown children's book.

M-3: It was obviously Where's Wa-

M-2: Kurt, stay professional.

M-3: I just want to bring some life into M-1's robotic speech.

M-1: I'm trying to keep my job, Kurt.

M-2: Ahem.

M-1: Sigh Right.

The group search the ground floor for the object, and begin to go upstairs. Scraping noises are heard below them, but the group does not notice this.

M-3: There's a picture on the wall.

M-1: Hmm?

M-3: Yeah, looks weird. Looks like crayon.

M-2: Take a picture.

M-3: Already on it.

him.png

The image taken by M-3.

M-2: Good. Think it has something to do with the anomaly?

M-3: Of course. It looks like Waldo.

M-1: Do any of you have an idea on where the object may be?

M-3: Er, I think it's in here.

M-1: Which room is this?

M-3: Um… Bathroom. There's a toilet and a… a shower, yeah. At least I think it's a shower.

The room is circular, with a normal porcelain toilet at the other side of the room. There is a small depression into the floor, leading to a small drain.

M-2: Strange… what kind of shower is this?

M-1: There is a modified sprinkler on the ceiling. There's a switch on one side of the room that, I assume, would activate the sprinkler. Seeing as this house has been abandoned for several years, I doubt it would work.

M-3 activates the switch. Water begins to come out of the sprinkler.

M-1: I stand corrected. Who is paying the water bill for this to work? Is it still hot?

M-3 touches the water, and immediately recoils in pain.

M-3: Gah… it's scalding.

M-1: Who is…

M-2: I have discovered the object. It was rested… uh, resting on the toilet.

M-2 is seen holding a pair of black circular glasses. The lens appear to be missing.

M-1: Good. You know the drill.

M-2 carefully examines the object, checking for fingerprints or any other traces of evidence. A small set of fingerprints are discovered on the temples of the glasses, which are revealed to be his own.

M-2: Yup, these are the ones. I'll put these in a baggie real quick.

M-2 produces a plastic bag from a small container around their waist, and places the glasses inside.

M-3: There's an inscription here. It's in… uh, [REDACTED].

M-1: Where?

M-3: Over here, on the wall.

The phrase "[REDACTED]" is seen on the wall in [REDACTED].

M-3: This was definitely not here when we first got here. Should we just leave it be and tell command about this, or?

M-2: It's most likely memetic. Here. let me translate it. I have training.

M-2 takes out a small Foundation-made translator, and inputs the phrase.

M-2: Huh, well never mind, doesn't appear to be memetic. It says… "The basement. The corpses from a child's book are in the basement. He is there too. Fr-. " And then it cuts off.

M-3: Hm. Take a picture and we'll send it ba-

M-2 begins to groan and hold their stomach.

M-3: Are you okay? What happened?

A set of fingers exit M-2's mouth, and grab their jaw. The hands push down, launching the jaw across the room. SCP-4885 exits M-2's body.

M-1: W-what the f-

Both M-1 and M-3 begin shooting at SCP-4885. The entity charges towards M-1 and shoves their fingers down their throat, and begin clawing into their mouth by unhinging their jaw.

M-3: Please, fuck, oh god. P-please, command. We're at [LOCATION REDACTED]. I repeat, [LOCATION REDACTED]. We need assistance, asap. Help. HE-

The audio is abruptly severed.

[END LOG]

When the transcript was received by a nearby site, the site almost immediately went into lockdown as SCP-4885 killed most of its personnel. The O5 Council enacted an emergency meeting, and Procedure Invenient Eum was created. Shortly after this, the procedure was enacted, and SCP-4885 was theorized to be contained. All information regarding SCP-4885's location of discovery was removed via an automatic algorithm, and SCP-4885's file was created.

You had this bitch on standby didn’t you

[mermaidsirennikita]

idk if you heard but shadow and bone showrunner said they won't/can't do six of crows plot until the darkling is gone so now people are predicting that the darkling will be killed off at the end of s2 because the showrunner is a huge six of crows fan and probably wants to get to that plot asap (it's pretty much the reason he got involved with this show). i think it's possible and maybe even likely but if so... uf, i don't know what future this show has because maybe the crows are the most popular with online book fandom but it's clear to me bin bons won over the heart of the general audience and locals. what do you think? also, lol, they have an opportunity to do so much with the darkling, it would be fascinating to see him involved with jurda parem plot but instead they are choosing to follow that dry ass plot from the original trilogy. i'm already bored.

Eh, I don’t think that’s likely lol.  Could happen, but like, will it?  There are a lot of factors I can’t be sure of--the exact sales numbers of Six of Crows v. the original trilogy, for example...  Which are also impacted by the fact that SOC probably wouldn’t have been a hit WITHOUT the original trilogy.  But the biggest thing people need to remember is that offhand comments aren’t gospel--I think the showrunner also said it was a 3-season show and then caught himself later lmao.  So he isn’t above talking outta his ass, as he’d own.

The thing is that showrunners are not the end-all be-all of what happens on a show (again, this showrunner claims that he was shot down for a Malina kiss?  which uh SURE JAN but he says it lol).  There is also a network or in this case a streaming service to contend with.  They’re the money.  And they only care about how shows help their bottom line.  Now, when a show exists to bring prestige, like, say, The Crown....  I would theorize that showrunners have more leeway, because the prestige their creative output facilitates is what ultimately brings people to Netflix, right?

But Shadow and Bone is a NUMBERS show.  (And we still don’t know if it’s renewed!). What’s more, it’s a relatively expensive numbers show?  So Netflix is going to be saying “what worked for the general audience and what did not”.  I mean listen, I feel like I actually know a fair amount of people offline lol and I’m not saying that lots of people on Tumblr don’t but uh let’s be real and in my circle at least, nobody’s checking for much besides Ben Barnes. But then again, I surround myself with taste.

We can see this in terms of how much Ben has been promoted vs. how much the lil SOC gang has been.  I love Kit, love Amita, but the reality is that I don’t know that SoC would have succeeded without the much more traditional Shadow and Bone first.  Lol Ben was out here talking about MASCULINITY AND MEN’S HEALTH~ to promote this show.  They have a featurette based on Jessie discussing kissing him?  

Lol we also don’t know how long Ben thinks his time on the show is lasting?  Because I don’t feel like he’s someone who signed on being like YEAH JUST KEEP ME FOREVER, he finds work, he does his thing, I’m sure he already knows how show!Darkling is going out and roughly when if they get there.

If Netflix decides that the show NEEDS Ben around, they’re not letting his arc get cut short.  At the same time, if Ben said “hey man I only want a two-season commitment”, then all the better for all of them.  I just would like, never watch the show again?  Personally?  And I don’t think I’m alone lmao

The way Leigh Bardugo knows the Darkling is enough of a cash cow that she brought him back?  And is now like?  Having her fave save his ass?  LMAOOOOOo PLS Netflix knows.

[purplesurveys]

1068

What internet browser do you use?  Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now?  Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday?  April 21st.

Thoughts on kids?  I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents?  The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered?  I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?  No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted?  They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?  We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion?  Is there something you intend to buy in the near future?  Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have?  What's the screensaver on your computer?  Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl?  THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021?  Who was the last person to send you a message on social media?  ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown?  Have you smiled at any point during the last hour?  What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel?  What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo?  Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine?  When was the last time you had a pillow fight?  Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means.  What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live?  Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball?  Have you ever had a water balloon fight?  Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly?  Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe. 

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza?  Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year?  I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes?  My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before?  Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve?  What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it?  Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? 

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day?  I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack?  Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID?  For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree?  Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn?  Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting?  Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic?  Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?”  Too much.

Do you own fairy lights?  No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods?  No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology?  No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own?  One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet:  I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have?  Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated?  Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?  I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes?  No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use?  I don’t use makeup.

[mcatra]

Entrapdak Highschool AU fic (p.1)

It’s oh my god they were assigned lab partners hours 

Nerdy prep Entrapta x delinquent Hordak 

AO3 LINK

or Read under the cut 

‘Get into pairs, class. We’re starting a new science experiment today.’

Everyone starts shuffling into their respective partners seats, chatting idly amongst themselves. Hordak ignores them, choosing instead to glare at a fixed point on the wall. His grades were less than stellar, and it didn’t help that he always ended up doing partner work entirely by himself. If his classmates were afraid to work with him, it wasn’t his problem.

He's never had any need to talk to anyone who went to Etheria since the merger. The two rival schools had combined into one years ago, much to the chagrin of both. The Horde's facilities had been run to the ground, so the government had decided to combine the previously private all girls school to save on funds.

There was still a bitter feud between the former schools students, and their friend groups have stayed mostly separate. However Hordak had not bothered himself with befriending anyone, as both were (rightly) terrified of him.

Rumours had circulated about how he was part of a gang, or how he had mafia tattoos that he covers up, or he had beat up rival students and that's why he always came to school with injuries. This was further exacerbated by the fact that he had a short temper and a large stature, and the private school girls prejudice about the Horde didn't help.

All he was there for was to graduate, socialising was beneath him as far as he was concerned.

As he's mulling over the ways how he can somehow scrape through this class with the minimum marks, Hordak sees a shadow loom over him, and he scowls.

His substitute teacher pushes up his glasses and coughs politely to grab his attention. ‘Hi, Hordak was it?’ He says in a fake sweet tone that came off more as patronising.

Hordak doesn’t answer, which they seem to take as an indication to press further.

‘You don’t have a lab partner?’

A small gasp could be heard from his classmates, and he can feel their stares at the gall of the substitute for even asking.

‘I don’t require one.’ Hordak says coldly, glaring up at him. ‘I can do it myself.’ He didn't trust anyone else to do the work anyway, and hated the idea of being forced to talk to someone all term.

The teacher looks slightly taken aback, especially when he catches the eye of the girl with short silver hair silently indicating him to stop. He frowns, but is determined not to be usurped on his first day.

‘You will be assigned one whether you like it or not.’ His teacher says, to the almost comical sound of scraping chairs as his classmates inch away avoiding eye contact. An uncomfortable silence washes over the classroom and before the situation could escalate, a chirpy voice pipes up.

'I'll be his lab partner.'

Hordak looks around, taken aback. No one had ever dared to volunteer to be his partner before.

It was a short girl with long untamed purple hair past her waist. She was wearing their issued white lab coat, a plaid skirt, black boots and an obnoxious grin on her face.

He suppresses a groan. Not her.

Entrapta was the smartest in the grade, a preppy chatterbox who hung out with the popular crowd. The exact opposite of what Hordak was. Entrapta had fallen out of favour with the popular girls a while ago, and now was friends with some emo girl and her jock friend from the Horde.

Not that he was paying attention, of course.

She had tried to talk to him once junior year, when his home life was so bad that he had cut class just to tend to his wounds behind the boys bathroom block. Entrapta had seen him, just before he pushed down his sleeve to cover up the marks.

He had yelled at her to get out, which would send the normal person running- but the purple haired girl didn't even flinch. She had told him to wait a minute, and rifled in her bag filled with a comically large amount of items.

Tadaa, she declared, unearthing a box of obnoxiously pink and cupcake patterned band aids. You keep them, she had said before leaving, and he was left with a cocktail of emotions ranging from shock, disbelief, and mortification.

He had refused to wear them at first to make a point, but eventually caved seeing as he didn’t have any other forms of medical supplies which he desperately needed. Hordak still avoided her in the halls since then, unable to cope with the reminder that someone had seen him in any shape or form vulnerable.

-- 'So, I think we should get started on this..' Entrapta rambled, rifling through the equipment in the drawers. Hordak watched her begrudgingly. He really didn't understand this girl, and why she was trying to get involved with him. Didn't she know this partnership certainly wasn't doing any favours to her current reputation? Or was it out of sympathy, regarding their last interaction?

He watches her lab coat fly around her as she runs, collecting beakers and chemicals until the entire table is covered with materials.

'Put these on.' Entrapta handed him some safety goggles. He frowns, refusing to take them. She finally looked up from her experiment, a confused expression on her face.

‘Why are you doing this?’ Hordak says, deadpan.

‘What do you mean?’ She questions, and her expression is so innocent he almost second guesses himself. Almost.

‘What are your intentions?’ He presses more forcefully. ‘I don’t need your pity. If that's the reason why you volunteered, I can do it myself.' He didn’t like the feeling that he owed her anything, especially that he never asked for it.

‘Oh, is that all?’ Entrapta says, turning back to her experiment. 'I wanted to do it. Science is more fun when you have someone to bounce ideas off with! Besides, Scorpia paired up with Catra, and...' She trails off hesitantly, looking back at the popular girls who were currently fighting for the position to be the blonde girl's partner. Entrapta pulls the goggles over her eyes.

Hordak stares at her, before huffing quietly to himself. She was ostracized from her former friends, and to some degree he could understand. At least he knew she could pull her weight, if her grades were any indication.

‘Fine. Suit yourself.’

--- They continue as lab partners throughout the next week, and he slowly but grudgingly gets used to the tiny chatterbox that’s forced herself into his life.

At first he's determined to ignore her, but once she starts rambling about her hypothesis about cosmic forms and space, he breaks his silence to counter her (frankly wrong) theory. Instead of being offended, Entrapta gasps in giddy excitement, thrilled at his knowledge and demands to hear more. He tells her how it can't possibly be correct due to various theorems and how the universe was far larger than she can comprehend it. They go back and forth the entire lesson, looking up articles and old obscure satellite videos on his phone until their conversation gets cut by the bell.

He doesn’t think about Entrapta again until later that night, when he receives a text.

Unknown: HORDAK!! :)) there’s been a new breakthrough about the asteroid belt, u need to read the paper on it!! I sent you a link, let me know ASAP about what u think!!!

He looks at the text dumbfounded.

Hordak: How did you receive this number? Unknown: Oh i added you when you weren’t looking! during class :PP Hordak: That's a flagrant breach of privacy. Unknown: [image.attachment] [image.attachment]

Hordak squints at his screen. What had she just sent? A grey shaped blur?

Hordak: What is that. Unknown: 🤖🤖🤖🤖 Hordak: I do not understand. Unknown: [mp4.attachment] That's Emily!!! I built her myself!!! :)) 🔧🔧 Hordak: You made that? A fully functioning bot? Hordak: That is most impressive. Unknown: thanksss;;! :///) Hordak: I will read the paper and we can discuss it in person tomorrow. Unknown: :D

-----

True to his word, he meets up with her on their free period in the library. Entrapta is bouncing with boundless energy, pulling stacks of books from shelves which Hordak somehow finds himself carrying.

They were talking for a while (well mainly Entrapta was chattering while Hordak listened) until he noticed a group of girls staring at them.

He recognised them as the same ones from their bio class, whom which Entrapta had referenced yesterday.

What did you expect, of course she's with the Horde.

He can hear the short pink haired girl whisper to her group of friends, who exchange incredulous looks with each other.

The only thing that matters to her is science, not people. She doesn't care about us.

He feels a flash of irritation, and he turns to the now oddly silent Entrapta.

'Do you want me to dispose of them?' Hordak growls, getting up from his chair. He can’t believe that they were the company she had chosen to be with in the past.

‘A-aaah-’ She looks up from her book in alarm and drags him back down into his seat. ‘Please don’t do that.’

He frowns at this, surely she shouldn’t be tolerating this sort of bullying.

‘But they insulted you.’ He says petulantly.

'No, it's okay.’ Entrapta says vacantly, propping her study glasses down so it obscured her expression. 'Do you want to listen to some music?'

She offers him an earbud. Hordak takes it, but not before shooting a glare in the girls direction. They caught him looking and they scatter, and he rolls his eyes. Good riddance. They don't deserve her company in the first place.

---

'The way they treat you is unacceptable.' He fumes a few days later as they're walking to class. For some reason he's still feeling irritated, like an itch under his skin that he can’t get to.

Hordak had seen the way Entrapta's 'friend' Catra had blatantly copied her notes, or the other girls needled her for answers despite their thinly veiled hostility. Entrapta had just let it happen, even though they were just using her. He definitely would have destroyed them, but every time Entrapta just puts a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

'They're all fools! How dare they disrespect you like that. You have more intelligence than all of them combined.' He rages, but for some reason she's smiling.

'Thanks. For being mad on my behalf.' Entrapta says. 'But I'm okay. I like to help. It's not that bad now that you're here.'

Actually one would argue that the rumour mill actually gotten worse since they started talking, considering his unfortunate reputation. A part of him felt responsible for that, as he never really considered how his actions would affect other people. Well more like he had never cared about that in the past, but this was different- this was Entrapta and she didn’t deserve any of it.

Just let me protect you, but he wants to say impatiently, but he doesn’t.

--- They start studying together per Entrapta’s request, exchanging notes from shared classes and explaining things that the other had trouble understanding. This was probably an excuse to hang out more outside of class, but he didn’t mind.

Sometimes she leaves little encouraging notes in his workbook, 'You can do it!' accompanied by little doodles of herself. He would never tell her, but the reason for an uptick in homework completion is largely due to how he enjoys seeing her scribbly handwriting next to his meticulous print.

Slowly but surely his grades started to improve with the amount of study sessions they were having. When he comes back from an exam with an A instead of his usual low C's, she jumps for joy and practically throws herself into his arms. Caught off guard, he barely manages to catch her as she loops her arms around him. Entrapta’s tiny stature meant she could only reach up to his waist, so he can only see the crown of her head.

Hordak can’t remember the last time he’d been hugged, but this was...nice. She was warm, and kind of smelt like flowers. Her presence wasn’t all too bad, he decides.

----- Sometime during the week, he finds her in the science lab alone just before class, munching on an assortment of tiny snacks. 'Tiny muffin?' She offers from where she sat perched on the classroom table.

'There's no eating allowed in the labs.' Hordak reminds her, but takes the muffin anyway.

He watches her run around the lab, knocking over someone’s pencil case with her long purple hair in her rush. How does she dye that much hair?

'Isn’t it more efficient to tie your hair back while doing experiments?'

'Hm? Oh yeah, I probably should.' She says, tugging on a strand. 'Can you tie it up for me? I’m kinda busy.’

Hordak hesitantly accepts the elastic bands offered to him. A multitude of thoughts ran through his mind. I am definitely not qualified for this. What hairstyle would suit her anyway?

After a minute he very carefully takes half of her very soft hair and ties it up into a pigtail high above her head. He delicately pulls some loose strands from her face and ties the other half up to match.

She turns around to look up at him, and the light catches on her features, illuminating her for a few seconds. Hordak stares for a brief second, before his heart nearly jumped out of his chest as people start trickling in through the door for class.

She doesn’t seem to notice his momentary crisis as she looks over their instructions for the day.

‘We’re making crystals! Absolutely fascinating structures.' She adds a few chemicals to a beaker, and passes it to Hordak.

He’s still recovering from the previous trick of the light, in which he thought she almost looked... pretty? Simultaneously horrified and embarrassed at the thought, he snatches the beaker. He gingerly adds a few more and stirs it, watching the liquid inside change colour.

'Great job!' She beams, and he feels himself get warm at being praised. Did she have to keep doing that? What was happening?

'Now we can start heating it up.' She places it on the hotplate, and he nods.

'Day 27, we'll be studying changes of properties in matter and joining molecules in repeating patterns.' Entrapta says into her audio log in her phone. ‘Say hi, Hordak!’

‘I am not saying-’

'Hordak's my lab partner,' She continues talking into the recording. 'If I can recall, we met junior year, behind the boys bathroom-'

His stomach drops at the mention of their first encounter, and instinctually tries to snatch the phone from her grasp- but by doing so knocks Entrapta right into the beaker.

The beaker which was currently boiling.

He thrusts his hand between Entrapta and the beaker without thinking, and cries out in pain as the burning chemicals splash on him.

The beaker shatters on the floor in a loud crash!

'Hordak!' She rushes over to him, jumping over the mess to where he had sunk to his knees.

He’s clenching his hurt hand stiffly, but manages to grit out ‘I’m fine.’ It was just a burn, he’s dealt with way worse at home. Thankfully the other students seem to be too caught up in their own failing experiments and loud chatter to notice their accident in the isolated corner of the lab. Even the teacher was busy scribbling something on the whiteboard. Negligent when it came to things that actually mattered, like the safety of the students. Hordak slowly starts to clean up the mess, his shaking hands picking up the glass.

Entrapta smacks the shard out of his hands and grabs his arm.

'That's not important.'

She drags him over to the sink, and plunges both of their hands under the cold water. He feels a rush of cool relief, and he breathes out until he realises that her hands were still coiled around his. He feels his heart stop then start again but at a jackhammer pace, and his hands start trembling for a completely different reason.

Hordak tries to speak, but can feel his ears burn red from embarrassment.

The moment ends when Entrapta finally turns off the tap and gets some paper towels to dry off their hands. Luckily his hand was fine, but she continues to fuss over him for the rest of the lesson.

As he’s watching her, he thinks he recognises the emotion bubbling in his chest from earlier. 

Oh no, Hordak realises. This can’t be happening.

[rigelmejo]

I wanted to hype up the easier parts about reading japanese, at least with my current experience having studied some of both languages:

a lot of japanese reading materials have furigana over the kanji - especially kanji expected to be above the target demographic reading level. furigana is basically a kana pronunciation of the kanji. so when starting to read japanese - a lot of study books often choose to teach you the kanji you need beforehand for the chapter, and write the words with kanji you don’t know yet in either only kana or with furigana on top. a lot of manga, in general, will have furigana over most kanji that aren’t the super common ones. shows and video games have audio along with the kanji, so there’s usually a way to figure out the word if you know either kanji OR pronunciation of a word already. when learning to read in japanese more, most materials except for actual novels are going to have some ‘support’ you can use to recognize all words you know at least in kana/pronunciation OR kanji.

if you have studied/are studying chinese, that last point affects this point: some kanji will mean the same or similar things to the chinese hanzi. So when using japanese reading materials, you can learn the japanese equivalent words and their pronunciations by seeing the similar-to-chinese-hanzi kanji, and then seeing the furigana japanese pronunciation for it (or hearing the pronunciation if its a video game/anime). So knowing hanzi will help with picking up new words in japanese, since you will sometimes only need to be learning new pronunciations or a few key differences. Big examples I’ve noticed are ‘xing’ in chinese also has to do with moving in chinese but is mostly used to mean ‘okay’ whereas it means ‘to go’ in japanese primarily, ‘dian’ in chinese generally has to do with electricity in both languages words that it’s in, the hanzi/kanji for ‘return to’ is used a lot in japanese but used much less commonly in chinese, ‘hao’ in chinese mostly means good/fine and while it does mean that in japanese it is used more often to describe ‘liking’ something or something being ‘likable.’ So... a lot of hanzi and kanji have similar meanings, but do not necessarily correlate to the same exact words or kinds of uses... I still think the ability to recognize them makes learning the new words easier though.

japanese grammar is so wonderful. in the sense that it is very clear in its meaning, if you understand it. if you learn the particles then you can identify what each word in the sentence is ‘doing.’ If you learn word endings like adjective/verb endings, you can immediately recognize tense and if something’s being done/not being done etc. Even though there are no spaces, particles and word endings make visually recognizing the separate parts of sentence pretty clear. Kanji also help to visually recognize each separate word. The messiest part of reading japanese - for me anyway - is when material for learners/beginners/various demographics chooses to use hiragana instead of kanji with words you don’t know yet, because it can sometimes make it a bit harder to tell where word boundaries are since there is not kanji to help make that distinction obvious. Despite this, I think the word endings and particles still make even hiragana heavy sentences pretty easy to parse through. Compared to chinese, I think this makes word boundaries and whats going on with grammar a decent amount easier to parse through at the earlier learning stages. Chinese is also easier to parse through in reading once you get a better understanding of grammar and word types/alterations - but japanese really visually clearly has distinct parts that are pretty easy to notice even as a beginner. Like when studying French... life gets easier when you realize what word endings are for adjectives versus verbs, versus the nouns that MUST have le/un type words preceding them. In french, once you notice that, it becomes easier to parse through the grammar of sentences. In japanese, those sorts of grammar pieces are very visually clear since they’re usually well-used particles or pretty regular word endings in hiragana. 

The widespread use of hiragana for otherwise-kanji-word-parts in many reading materials, furigana in many kanji reading materials, and furigana extensions for web browsers etc make it easier to pick up new words from reading even if you don’t know a lot of kanji yet. Whereas in comparison, in chinese if you plan to pick up words from reading you are much more likely to need to learn a lot of hanzi asap. While there are extensions to read pinyin over hanzi, and some learning materials/resources provide the option, a lot of content made for chinese natives just has hanzi. so if you buy a book for native chinese speakers its going to be all hanzi - compared to japanese, where a lot of manga will still have furigana. An exception is zhuyin in material from Taiwan, I’ve heard sometimes Taiwan materials include zhuyin over some hanzi, Taiwan has an alternative to pinyin called zhuyin and from what I’ve seen of it, it works more like a phonetic system like japanese kana, whereas I would compare hanyu pinyin more to japanese romaji. Also, a lot of chinese learner material I’ve seen, mostly either teaches in ALL pinyin first, or else does not provide pinyin ALONGSIDE hanzi for very long. Whereas, at least for a decent amount of japanese learning materials, the japanese writing system (at least kana) is introduced early on even to beginners, and the kanji at least somewhat get introduced (often with kana to help with pronunciation). I really... personally do not like how many chinese learning materials do pinyin-only for beginners, when eventually beginners are going to have to interact with hanzi in real chinese materials... it just postpones when they’re going to hit that difficulty curve. A lot of japanese learning materials postpone and drag out learning a LOT of the kanji, but at least by exposing the learner to the kana spellings, if a learner goes into reading manga they’ll recognize the furigana and be able to learn some kanji from that. Whereas a chinese learner, often with no pinyin to rely on in chinese reading materials, is going to just see hanzi with nothing to help them figure out if its a word they already know pronunciation wise or not! This is just my particular preference in learning material structure though. Some proponents of pinyin-only beginner materials, mention that it allows the learner to get a solid foundation in speaking, listening, grammar, and spoken vocabulary before their learning has to get slowed down trying to tackle hanzi. And they propose that learning hanzi later, after already knowing the spoken form of the word, is easier and more akin to how children learn their native language before learning to write/read it. Now... while I see their point, I just think a lot of beginners don’t always stick with studying a language 2,3,4+ years, or don’t want to put off their reading goals for X months or years. If that is the case, then for those learners I think them putting off learning hanzi and being exposed to the writing system, limits them a lot because it means they’re stuck only able to engage in spoken conversation and listening no matter how many words or grammar structures they learn as a beginner. Whereas, if they get exposed to hanzi earlier on, then they can at least start reading simple subtitles for things they already KNOW (like Hello/goodbye/please/i’m leaving/i love you/i want you to x/i need you to X/i VERB/he did X/take care/i hate you/etc) MUCH earlier on like within a few months. And just being able to read a lot of that simple stuff, helps them understand things like directions or titles or actions happening in novels (he said/she said/he did/they VERB), helps them make sense of some shows if they struggle to catch some audio words etc. I personally studied hanzi from the beginning, and it definitely allowed me to engage in chinese social media, chat with native speakers, browse chinese sites, watch chinese shows, and read chinese novels (at least to some degree of comprehension, even if its only the gist sometimes) much earlier on. If I’d only relied on pinyin for my first 1000 words, etc, then I wouldn’t probably be able to watch shows yet or message with anyone in chinese yet. I definitely wouldn’t be anywhere close to trying to read yet.  Anyway I... really do appreciate that modern learning-materials wise, a lot of japanese materials do start learners off with at least some writing system exposure immediately. I’m sure it helps that there’s a limited number of kana, they’re pretty simple to learn, and work a lot like an alphabet so they’re easy for english speakers to get used to. Even with mostly kana, even when there’s few kanji in some beginner materials, I still think the exposure to actual japanese writing systems helps beginners develop reading and recognition skills earlier on. (I’m thinking of materials like Genki, Japanese for Busy People, etc). In chinese there are a decent number of learning materials that introduce hanzi from day 1, but there are still also a number of widely-enough used resources that only use pinyin at first that circulate enough they still get regularly recommended. There’s no popular equivalent that I’ve noticed in japanese learning materials right now. I actually... think there’s something great in learning hanzi at the same time as pronunciations, since hanzi often have a phonetic component IN THE DESIGN OF THE HANZI as one of the radicals often hints at its pronunciation. Which is a huge help compared to japanese, where the kanji don’t necessarily hint at the words pronunciation. Learning hanzi at the same time as new words early on, means as you see more hanzi you start to get a sense of if you could guess it’s pronunciation (such as trying to guess its pinyin to look it up in a dictionary etc). The radicals in hanzi often help a ton with pronunciation of new words, and I personally found remembering WHY new words were pronounced the way they were, was easier for me in chinese because I could remember another word I knew with the same radical with the same or similar pronuncation. So I had a ‘scaffold’ to learn my new word from. In japanese, the word endings often had ‘scaffolding’ i could recognize and rely on, but often the new kanji pronunciations I had no other knowledge to really ‘connect’ it to in order to help remember it. 

(I should note, regardless OF what learning material anyone uses, if they’re making progress then it is a great learning material for them. It’s more important to make progress with something you can consistently stick to and work through, then it is to have some ‘perfect’ or ‘ideal’ study material. Pinyin only materials are fantastic for the people they work for, there’s a lot of well written ones that teach what they say their aim to teach is. Some learners ARE going to benefit from that approach better. My preferences are just based on what I benefited from more, based on my own goals and on what I could consistently stay motivated to study and progress with.)

[thequeenofcronuts]

Justify My Love - Chapter 4 - Be OK, Pressing On

Book: The Royal Romance Word Count: 4,835-ish Pairing: Maxwell x MC (Kristina Hampshire), Hana, Drake, OCs

Warnings - Language 

A/N In this TRR kinda sorta off cannon Series: Kristina (MC) decides she cannot stay in Cordonia after the events of the Coronation Ball. Not so much caring about her own reputation, but caring for the life of the man she has been falling for, which is not the prince. She returns to New York and is faced with her heartbreak and regret while Maxwell is left in Cordonia struggling to understand the truth behind his feelings. Will they let each other go?

**All characters and named places are owned by Pixelberry Studios. Rights to the songs lyrics and  titles in this series belong to:

Justify My Love (Madonna) - Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Reach Music Publishing, BMG Rights Management

Be OK (Ingrid Michaelson) - Cabin 24 Records

Pressing On (Relient K) - Universal Music Publishing Group

Series Tags @littleblossom357 @alj4890 @cosigottahavefaith

——————————

Kristina's POV

- Be OK -

Kristina still hasn't opened up to Daniel about her time abroad…at all…and it's been weeks since she returned. They do talk every day, but it's mainly because Daniel calls her. She goes to work and comes home, and that is it. Except for her days off when she chooses to just stay home the whole time. Truthfully, he is starting to get rather nervous about her lack of socialization and her apparent lack of any true emotion. She just plasters on a fake smile for work. It's been awhile since he has seen a glimpse of the real Kristina he knows is still in there somewhere. It's time to call in reinforcements, he decides.

He reaches out to his best friend from back home, Stephen, and his wife, Lisa. The first time Kristina met the couple, over a year and a half ago, they instantly became friends. They all share the same dry and sarcastic sense of humor, enjoy lots of witty banter, and are all around Kristina's type of people. Daniel decides to make the FaceTime call to the couple. During the call Stephen quips, “Ok, so Lisa and I get that you're telling us that Kris is currently an emotional wreck without the emotions part…” Lisa cuts off her husband, “but can you give me an example. Girls are better suited to break down these kind of things.” Daniel chuckles with a sound thick of disbelief. “Ok Professor Reader of the Female Mind, last week I brought a box over filled with one of her all time favorite treats.” “Ok, so we’re talking cronuts.” “Lisa, let the man speak before you go all girl detective. Proceed Daniel.” “Ok, yes I thought a box of them could help her mood. Boy was I wrong. She basically went from tears, to sobs, to yelling, and then stormed out of her apartment to the laundry room in the basement of the building.” “Dude, I know I’m just a guy here,” Stephen shoots Lisa a look of feigned cluelessness, “but why the basement laundry room? Oh magnificent Lisa, explain this piece of your investigative puzzle.” Daniel jumps in, “When you see the size of her studio apartment you’ll understand why she sought out her privacy in there.” “And that's it Daniel” Lisa asks, “she ran from a box of cronuts? … Yeah, I got nothing. I’ll concede that this is way above the girl code of understanding.” Stephen tries to contain his triumphant laughter, but just can't. “Way to go all things woman super sleuth!” “Ok, ok, but we have to figure this out. Who knew a delicate pastry would be our beginning lead? We’ll be there asap.” Lisa says then ends the phone chat.

Daniel got the exact reaction from Kristina he expecting as he told her the couple was coming for a visit, “I know I always do the itinerary for their visits, but this visit it is up to Lisa. So have her plan it since I am adamant about not being apart of any of it.” Kristina said coldly. A few days later Lisa took the duty on and planned Operation Crack Open Kristina. This was meant to crush the shell that was becoming Kristina; and by the time Lisa had finished the itinerary the plan was set into motion. Unbeknownst to Kristina she was heading on a weekend trip to Atlantic City. The Hotel was booked, Daniel had a rental car scheduled, and the choices for entertainment were set.

The day Lisa and Stephen’s flight landed Daniel took them straight to Kristina's for the ambush. They stood in her doorway telling her that the weekend retreat was imminent. Which Kristina calls it a friendly form of forced kidnapping. Lisa just giggles as she she packs Kristina’s overnight bag as Kristina was strongly voicing her concerns as a protest for the trip. “I don't “go” out to places any more and I don't want to start now….. Atlantic City is too far from the city for just a couple of days and one night…..I hadn't planned for something like this so I don't have the money….” All to which Daniel, Stephen, and Lisa easily counters.

Daniel - “Kris, it's just roughly a two hour drive to Atlantic City, so a weekend trip is completely doable.”

Stephen - “The three of us are splitting the trip. Two adjoining rooms and the rental car are easily covered by Daniel and us.”

Lisa - “Today is the day you go from “don't go places” to getting out of this apartment, now.”

Lisa tosses Kristina the overnight bag while Stephen claps his hands with a triumphant look, “And……mic dropped…so off we go.”

Not too long later they’re on the road while Kristina is shaking shaking her head thinking to herself, I really love these people, I do, just not so much this weekend. She settles into the passenger seat with a dramatic sigh which is completely ignored by her companions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Kristina watches through the window, of the surprisingly nice and comfy rental car, the world whizz by while chatter fills the vehicle. She puts in her earbuds to drown it all out and picks a playlist that she recently made tapping shuffle. The music cancels out all the noise when the first song plays, which is one of her current favorites. Sometimes song lyrics coincide with the exact emotions of your thoughts and heart. She closes her eyes and gets lost in the song….

‘I just want to be okay, be okay, be ok I just to be okay today I just want to be okay, be okay, be ok I just to be okay today

‘I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today I just want to feel something today I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today I just want to feel something today’…

Daniel looks over and lightly smacks Kristina's knee to get her attention, so she takes out one earbud to pause the song. “What Daniel?” She looks over and arches an eyebrow at him. He looks over again and answers, “Kris, are you going to join us in our amazing conversations? Maybe sometime soon?”. “Daniel, just please watch the road,” she answers, “we don't need to add an accident to this crazy weekend.” Stephen yells from the backseat, “Yeah, crazy awesome weekend here we come!” Kristina looks over her shoulder while narrowing her eyes in a glassy stare, “ Stephen, that wasn't the actual sentiment I was going for with my statement.” He retorts jovially, “ I know, but we gotta get you out of this funk you’ve been swimming in girl!”

Kristina crosses her arms and huffs, her mind answers, It's not a funk and you have no idea. “Just because you and Lisa have a wonderful marriage and Daniel is now serious with Mitch, doesn't prove that ‘There's someone for everyone’. Every hopeless romantic likes to remind their single friends this. ‘Just wait and see, it will happen for you.’ Well I hate to spoil the dream, but waiting for the person that makes you whole is a crock of shit.” Daniel looks in the rear view mirror at Lisa and Stephen and Lisa throws them a knowing look…they just witnessed a bit of Kristina's shell cracking.

“Speaking of couples, why am I going on this trip? Shouldn't this be a couples thing? Where's your boyfriend Daniel?” There's a slight tone of disgust in her voice. Daniel blows air through his lips, man she's even more stubborn than when she decided that it was a fabulous idea to fly off to a distant country on a whim. “Mitch couldn't get off work.” Daniel stated while he shrugged his shoulders. Unbeknownst to Kristina, the group never intended for Mitch to go. And since they had a “can't be cancelled” reservation, they “needed” her to come. They explained that because the trip was bit expensive it needed to happen. Lisa pipes into the conversation, “Reason number one: Look at it this way, Kris, you need to get out and live, Mitch’s inability to go provides the opportunity! Just going to work doesn't count as going out and experiencing life” Stephen adds “"Reason B we needed you to come to have an even number.” I know you all think this is some intervention type thingy, but not going to work. Kristina internally says to herself. Kristina sends icy daggers to the group.

“Man Daniel, can you turn the heat on because it just got cold in here!” Lisa smacks Stephen’s arm and whispers, “I don't think the brand of humor you’re attempting is going to work right now, so can it.” Daniel continues, “While Mitch’s job comes with vacation time Kris, it doesn't mean he gets to take it on a whim. It's not like that in retail.” “Oh riiiight,” she says with an almost playful but still flat tone, “That’s right, Mitch is a manager at a big time department store.” Kristina gives a rye smile, “So I guess while he works, you get to go out and play. Sounds like you're a ‘gold digger’ to me Daniel.” It's silent in the car for a moment and Stephen can't hold it in. “Shit Kris, that was….an actual joke. Hold the presses we have breaking news! Kristina Hampshire almost cracked a smile as she totally dissed one of her BFFs!” He wears a sarcastic, mocking look of horror and when Kristina sees it over her shoulder she throws a balled up wrapper from her breakfast sandwich, hitting him right in the mouth. “Shut it Stephen.” “Sweet Kris, looks you still do human emotions! Man, Lets go PAR-TAAAAAY!!

Party…of all the words he could say, any other word, he yells party. Shit, really?! Why do the gods torture me? Kristina's mind goes immediately to Maxwell. Well honestly there really isn't a moment he doesn't consume her thoughts. Her face instantly sours. “Ugh, I so LOVINGLY HATE you all! So just drop it. DROP.IT. Drop ALL of it.” Lisa reaches from the backseat and gives Kristina's shoulder a gentle squeeze, as she understands that patients is the only way to crack through more of Kristina's shell. So she changes the subject. “Sleeping arrangements. We have two adjoining rooms. Kristina and I will share one and have some girl time. If you see the adjoining door is shut stay the fuck out. Got it boys?” They nod as if their mother had just grabbed them by the ear for a good scolding. “Otherwise we all can enjoy time together.”

Quite fills the cabin of the car again. Daniel turns on the radio for something to listen to, while the other three put in earbuds. Kristina has ended all conversion…for now. She rests her head back onto the window and closes her eyes while the song that paused picks up where it left off and her mind drifts…

Maxwell had his phone connected to a pretty decent pair of portable speakers in Kristina's room. The music is blaring as it was a rare night with no scheduled court functions due to the day being a travel day, to Applewood Manor. And….what made it unbelievably more awesome was Bertrand decided to forgo any lessons or lectures for the night. He had a fairly bad headache, and while they felt sorry for him, Kristina and Maxwell decided to use every second of this unexpected and glorious freedom. They moved some furniture around the room giving them a nice space as a dance floor, and with the music pumping, pajamas donned, and snacks acquired the private VIP party began.

Kristina nearly lost all of her composure when she got a glimpse of Maxwell's sea blue pajamas with an orange squid pattern. She was uncontrollably laughing at the sight and asked, “Where is the calypso music, Maxwell? Are we under the sea?” He just sauntered to the center of their “dance floor” spinning on the ball of his left foot stopping to face her in a ‘Charlie’s Angels’ type pose. Kristina's collapsed on the bed laughing so hard she could barely speak. She managed to get out, “H-how…do…you…know…” huge breath then continues to cackle, “How…you do know…Charlie’s…Angels….?” Maxwell puts his hands on his hips, looking at her with a serious face, and he answers matter of factly,  “ Come on Kristina, hello, the internet. You might want to watch some videos on there sometime. Maybe one of these day you can look at some tutorial videos and manage to keep up with my smooth moves.” His eyebrows wiggle and Kristina throws a pillow at him. “I think my moves are more than acceptable. Thank you very much.” Maxwell walks over to the bed, bows dramatically and offers her his hand. She takes it and she began to shimmy and shake to the beat, while Maxwell stood back with his arms crossed shaking his head in a mock of disapproval. “Not bad Kristina, my young grasshopper, but let the master teach you his ways.”

After a while of dancing they were breathless and decided to take a break. Sitting on the floor with Kristina rested her head on Maxwell’s shoulder he began to show her some of his favorite internet videos and memes that left them both in stitches. Neither one had laughed like they did that night in so long. It's not Bertrand sets aside time for frivolity in his daily agenda. Laughing until they were in pain Maxwell spontaneously jumped up and pulled Kristina up with him. “I’ve got a second wind, so it's time for the master to test the moves he so masterfully taught you.”

Kristina soon was mesmerized by Maxwell and the way his body moved. She stepped back to observe, okay possibly ogle him as he was going seamlessly from one form of type of dance moves into another. While he wasn't quite as muscular as Liam or Drake, dancing certainly did benefit his physique. Between that and his carefree spirit with a heart of gold he pulled her in unexpectedly. Finally he again grabbed Kristina by the hand bringing her close to dance. Bam, she feeling butterflies in her stomach and was a bit dizzy. Problem was this dance didn't seem to affect him the same way. Kristina don't go there. Keep this as the easy, happy friendship it is. While thinking all of this and losing her focus she ends up tripping falling to the ground while they both uncontrollably giggled. Just as Maxwell leaned down to help her up, while he was looking right into her eyes, there is a rather loud thumping on the door. Maxwell went to turn the music down and grabs an apple from the nightstand while Kristina jumps up and opens the door to find a rather grumpier than usual Drake. How can he be even more grouchy than usual. Must be a natural talent.

Drake stands outside her door in a white t-shirt, and lounge pants, with his hair tussled in all directions. “Ummm, hi Drake. Were we bothering you?” Kristina tried so hard to stifle her snickers as his disheveled appearance. Maxwell yelled, “Hey buddy, want to join the party?” and Kristina stepped aside to let Drake into the room. After three steps he finds Maxwell lounging on the bed munching on the apple. “Beaumont, I should have known.” Drake says with bite to his tone. “Do you two know what time it is? Some people are trying to sleep.” Drake exasperatedly taps on his wrist watch, while Kristina notices something odd in his balled up hand.

“Watcha got there, Walker?”  Drake uncomfortably shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “Uh…well what the hell? Might as well tell you…ear plugs.” Maxwell eagerly jumps into the conversation. “What do you need ear plugs for, Drake?” He looks at him with half a smirk. Nervously Drake tries to find his words carefully. “Uh, well, um,…” Drake closes eyes so he won't have to look at either of them while he explains, “When traveling with court you never know where your assigned bedroom will be located. And you know how a lot of nobles are. So, earplugs are always good for not having to listen to all the sounds of their, uhhh, extracurricular activities.” Before Kristina can even start to laugh at poor Drake, Maxwell turns to her and quickly lets out, “So, Kristina, what Drake is telling us is we’re louder than two nobles.” He wiggles his eyebrows. As she and Maxwell burst into fits of laughter Drake turns a deep shade of red, curses under his breath while turning back on his heel leaving, slamming the door behind him.

Kristina can't stand it any longer as she is laughing so hard it is literally painful. She falls back onto the bed next to Maxwell and it takes what feels like forever for both to get ahold of their composure. After a few minutes of comfortable silence Kristina turns her head towards him. “Hey Maxwell, I really enjoyed tonight and hanging out with you.” Maxwell turns to respond and Kristina notices how close they are, almost noses touching. “Awww Kristina, me too.” For just a few seconds Kristina feels the anticipation of a kiss, but Maxwell, in no way catching the drift, ruffles her hair and sits up. “Well, we should get some sleep. It won't be long until I’ll be knocking on your door for your morning wakeup call. I’ll come by a little early and help you get the room back together.” Kristina nods, and gets up as he does. Walking him to the door he gives her a big bear hug as he tells her good night while he walks out her door. Kristina quietly leans her back against the now close door and sighs. Her heart flutters as she thinks about being so close to him, and thinking they were so close to a moment. She walks over to turn off the light and flops down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling with a dreamy smile. She knew she was now seriously in trouble. The Crown Prince was the furthest thing from her mind.

Kristina is brought back to the present by a bump in the road and opens up her eyes seeing her reflection in the window. A small smile fades as fast as it graces her lips. She didn't even realize that while she was reliving that night she had subconsciously replayed the song.

‘Open me up and you will see I’m a gallery of broken hearts I’m beyond repair let me be And give me back my broken parts’

‘Just me back my pieces Just give them back to me please Just give back my pieces And let hold my broken parts’

——————————

Maxwell’s POV

- Pressing On -

Drake as never been so happy to be off a plane, and even more elated when Maxwell spots Hana in the baggage claim area. Seeing her, leaving Drake behind, he runs to pick her up and swing her in a circle. As Hana giggles, “Maxwell put me down. While I am happy we are untied again, save that enthusiasm for Kristina.” Maxwell complies and steps back mouth agape. “How do you know that I was thinking about what you know, that I didn't know, but now I know, and you know that I know, but you just found out that I know what I didn't know which you already knew?” Hana shakes her head and squeezes Maxwell's shoulder. “Just a guess seeing your current enthusiasm, and manic force of energy.” She winks at Drake who has caught up to them giving her a “save me” look.

“Now let's get our luggage, check-in to the hotel and grab something to eat.” Hana gently takes control. “And Maxwell,” Drake says seriously while looking into the hyperactive eyes of the guy in front of him, “absolutely no caffeine in any form for the rest of the day. I’d rather not strangle you…today at least.” Hana gives Drake a pointed stare.” “Guys, all of this is to clear Kristina's name and hopefully bring her back to Cordonia. We all miss our best friend so much, and hopefully we can also give her and Maxwell chance to figure things out. So let’s all get along.”  “Fine” Drake huffs. “But you are responsible for him.” She sighs a happy sigh, “It's good to be back together. Now onward and upward to get our girl back.” Hana skips ahead.

The three settle into their hotel rooms ordering room service delivered to Hana’s room. While eating they catch up on their lives since the Coronation Night, which mainly meant letting Maxwell know what has been happening while he locked himself away from the world. Drake was actually there for it all, so he was tuning in and out of the conversation.

Hana explains to Maxwell that once she returned home to Shanghai her parents were less than pleased with what they considered the most major failure of their family’s life due to her fruitless Social Season. Soon after her arrival home her parents started working on finding a match for Hana themselves. Fortunately a few weeks later she was called back to court with the offer that there were possible “advantageous matches” she shouldn't miss. She knew without a doubt the invitation was facilitated by the new King.

Her parents were quite pleased and allowed Hana return almost immediately when the offer was received. With Kristina gone and Kiara as the future queen they saw a perfect opportunity for her return. When back in Cordonia she spent her time working with Drake to find Tariq and hopefully Kristina. Several “potential matches” Kiara knew that would appease Hana’s parents gave them time for their search. Maxwell showed his concern for Hana, but Hana knew she would deal with the consequences from her parents. She also thought a real match might be possible since there was no more pressure to marry a prince. Really she desperately wanted her best friend back and to happy together more than anything. What Hana kept to herself was the hope that she might be able to stay as Kiara had briefly mentioned a place for her in the palace. It was allowed for Drake, why not her too?

Once they had finished eating Hana explained the events of the Royals since Kristina was dragged out of the palace. Some parts Maxwell knew, as there news that was impossible to escape from with Bertrand around. For instance, Liam had chosen Lady Kiara, a surprise to all for certain, for his queen. More surprising was that the King Father was quite happy with the match. With her intelligence, diplomatic background, communication abilities, and her father’s connections Lady Kiara brought more to the position of queen than any of the other suitors. Plus she had, what Liam sensed of the remaining suitors, the best temperament for the role of his queen. The Queen Mother on the other hand was not as pleased with the match of course, as Madeleine lost the crown for a second, and final, time. Though she couldn't deny the qualities Lady Kiara possessed, which meant  ultimately she had no say.

Then Hana began to patiently answer Maxwell's incessant questions on things important to him which he did miss while ignoring his friend’s attempts to contact him. “Hana, has Liam really fallen out of love with Kristina? I mean I find it hard to believe considering all I saw with him in New York, and with her beyond. Bertrand and I were certain he was going to, well going to propose to her.” Maxwell looked at Hana in disbelief. Hana continued, “While Liam was certainly heartbroken losing the chance of possible true love, he still put his country first.” Drake added in a sort of bitter tone, “I don't think there was any surprise in that. Country and responsibilities first. No matter the circumstances, even if the love of his life was literally dragged out of the palace and sent back to America. Of course he would still choose country.”

Maxwell looks out the window before he speaks again. “Yeah Drake, but I still seriously cannot believe he just falls out of love and lets her go. That there was a Prince, going to be King, who seemed to be head over heels for Kristina, but she doesn't end up loving him or wanting him. That she supposedly loved me. Things like this don't happen. Especially for screw ups like me.” Hana saw the hurt the behind his his eyes and lightly put a hand on his knee, while Drake went to the mini bar. “Did I just waste that whole damn plane ride. You got off the plane on cloud nine and now we're basically back to square one. I need whisky.” Drake just shakes his head. Hana turns sharply to Drake while in a calm, even voice. “What, do you expect Drake. That Maxwell, who is just processing all of this would immediately suspend all his disbelief and uncertainty. Don't we all question the prospect of love even if we are hit with it by a two by four?” Drake turns to the window, “Fine, fine. Just get on with this.”

Hana continues. “With Kiara’s abilities made obvious to court, and figuring that he and Kiara were amiable, Liam decided that there was no way to know what the future could hold for himself and Kiara. She is a lovely woman with fantastic qualities for his Queen. So yes Maxwell, no matter if it was love or infatuation he had with the new possibilities of love I can believe that he chose Kiara honestly.” Maxwell contemplated the answers he was given and went to his next question. “So, if we find Tariq, get him to give the statement and convince Kristina to come home, how are we certain this works…” he hangs his head, “…for her and me?” Drake takes this one, “You don't. Who ever does, but if you give up after all I’ve done up to this point I will leave you here in LA, and have you find your own way back home. So quit the moping again, and just press on with all of this.” Hana sighs, “While Drake has a somewhat harsh and tangled point, we do just have to go by faith. But we know you love her, and as her best friend I truly believe in my heart that I’m right about her loving you.”

Hana continues. “ I can't deny that Liam will always hold a special place in his heart for Kristina, but things do change with time. Much to our surprise, Kiara amazed him by understanding his need for Kristina in his life. Not to be mistaken as any kind of “arrangement”, but Kiara sees a friendship for both Liam and herself with Kristina.” Maxwell interrupts, “But why? That makes no sense. Well, none of this sounds believable. Especially when there are kings and queens involved. How can I even have a place in this story? So Kiara is just ok with all this, and Liam accepts it all?” Drake looks at Hana and thinks to himself, How on earth is this woman so patient with him? “Maxwell, during the Social Season Kiara became to enjoy Kristina, and even formed an alliance with her. She also saw the bond that we,” Hana points to the three of them, “that we all share. Plus she is not a fool. She saw the spark in Kristina's eyes whenever you were together. You've got to admit you two spent pretty much everyday together. Reading people and their body language is kind of a major part of the diplomatic side of her. And with that Kiara doesn't see Kristina a threat. Plus, if we get Kristina back to you, we all benefit. That works for a woman with a diplomatic mind, like Kiara.”

Maxwell thinks for awhile, trying to believe all this information. Finally Drake breaks in, “Beaumont, I need more whiskey, so think on your own time. I say we walk the area to see where we are in reference to the locations we have for Tariq and then find a bar. With lots and lots of whiskey.” The two agree with him and leave the hotel. While Hana and Drake look at maps on their phones and discuss where they will start the search in the morning, Maxwell drops behind them with his mind going in a thousand different directions which are on top of the normal thousands of thoughts he has all the time. So, I need to try. Going home now would just be wrong, right? Yeah, I can do this. It may actually work out, and I’m already here and can't sit back anymore or I lose her for sure. Ok. Drake is right…I’m pressing on.

[voferuye-blog]

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https://tr.ivisa.com/esta-visa-usa

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| I couldn't understand why they did not need to meet up with me. Once it runs out, you are going to want to put in an application for a new one.

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[buckybarnesappreciationsociety]

“Always By Your Side” Part 1

Summary: Rachel Barnes out running errands, had no idea the trip would hold dire consequences.

Word Count: 1,621

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Rachel Barnes

OFC: Gracie and Grant Barnes, Tony, Sam. Steve, Clint, Nat, Wanda, William and Jackie Kaufman (Rachel’s parents,) Drs. Miller and Rittenour, Nurse Peterson

Warning: Drunk driver death, severe injuries, major, major angst (for now)

A/N:Thanks @buckysforeverprincess for taking time to beta my mess! Also, to my wonderful mutuals who tagged me in uplifting posts. Whether you knew it or not, I needed them! I love y’all to the moon and beyond!

WARNINGS ARE POSTED AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH CHAPTER. IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU IN ANY WAY, PLEASE DO NOT READ!

MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES TO THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE OR FRIEND TO DRUNK DRIVING.

THIS SERIES DELVES INTO THE AFFECTS ON BUCKY AND HIS FAMILY. ALSO, THE LONG ROAD AHEAD FOR RACHEL.

FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOME! THANKS FOR READING!

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Rachel Barnes decided to run errands while Bucky stayed home with their 6 year old twins, Grant and Gracie. No longer in the field, he revelled spending time with family.

Using the hands free cell phone feature in her minivan, Rachel called Bucky informing him about her trip to the bookstore.

“Hey babe, stopping by the bookstore. What are you guys doing?” Chuckling, her husband shook his head. “We’re in the common room hanging out. Doll, thought you weren’t gonna buy’um any more stuff?”

“James, the twins love bedtime stories, so I’m picking up new books. Love you honey.” “Love you too baby girl. See ya soon.”

“Daddy, was that momma? What’s she bringing us?” Grant inquired. “Guess ya gotta wait n’see.”

Groaning, the twins turned around coloring with Wanda.

On Rachel’s way to the bookstore, a drunk driver swerved, crashing into her car head on, killing him on impact.

Forward motion catapulted her into the windshield, snapping the seatbelt. Rachel sustained extremely life threatening injuries.

Glancing at his watch, Bucky noticed the time. “Rachel should’ve been here by now. I left my phone on the living room table. I’ll be back.” “Okay daddy.”

Opening the door, Bucky noticed 3 calls from an unfamiliar number. Concerned, he dialed back.

“Is this Mr. James Barnes? My name is Dr. Miller at Mt. Sinai Hospital.”

Bucky’s breath quickened. “Y-yes, th-this is James Barnes.”

“Sir, I’m sorry to tell you this but Mrs. Barnes was life flighted to our hospital. She’s in critical and unstable condition. Please come ASAP.”

White noise...drowning….breathe….breathe! . “Mr. Barnes, are you still there?

“We’re on the way.” “I’ll be at the 11th floor nurses desk.” “O-okay. Thanks.”

“Daddy, is mommy on her way back?” Wanda sensed Bucky’s agony.

“Hey, little ones,”  holding Gracie’s hand, “Would you like to watch movies and have a pajama party?” Wanda put on a brave face. Bucky mouthed “Thank you.”

“Yay,” the twins squealed in unison. “C’mon, time for our party!!” Steve walked in the common room noticed tears streaming down Bucky’s face.

“Buck, what’s going on?” Tony, Sam and Clint joined in.

“A drunk driver hit Rachel. It ain’t looking so good. I can’t be here.”

Tony, Steve, and Clint sprang to action. “Barton, get the quinjet ready. Rogers, you go with Barnes. I’ll stay here call Rach’s parents and send the private jet for them! Go! Steve, keep us updated.”

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Touching down on the hospital roof, Steve and Bucky sprinted towards the doors, with Clint in pursuit.

Dr. Miller and Nurse Peterson escorted them to the staff elevator.

“Mr. Barnes, the CT scan showed a subdural hematoma, a collection of blood between the covering and surface of the brain. Our neurologists has stressed how important surgery is. She’s being prepped now.”

Upset, Bucky wanted to know why they waited so long. Dr. Miller explained the surgical team wanted to pinpoint the exact area of the bleeding. Bucky gave consent to proceed with surgery.

Two neurologists, three nurses, an anesthesiologist were the first team operating on Rachel. Tony called ahead ensuring she got the best doctors on the planet.

Bucky’s leg bounced up and down, tears staining his face. “Stevie, m’scared. It’s bad; it’s really bad.” Clint and Steve rallied around him.

Entering the 7th hour of surgery, Dr. Miller finally emerged with an update. Bucky, Steve and Clint stood. “Gentlemen, please have a seat.”

“Doc, how is she?” Bucky’s eyes had lost their light.

“Mr. Barnes, your wife coded twice, but we were able to resuscitate her. Mrs. Barnes has close to 70 stitches to her hands, arms, face and neck.”

Dashing towards a nearby wastepaper basket, Bucky emptied his stomach. Wiping his mouth, Bucky asked to see his wife. Dr. Miller advised against it. As much as he didn’t want to, Steve agreed with the doctor.

“The next 24 hours are crucial. We’ve set up a private waiting room complete with coffee, food, wifi, full bathroom and a private phone. Also, there are two sleeper sofas and two lounge chairs. I’ll be back if there’s any more news.”

Blood of the innocent stains my hands, so is this my penance? Tell me what to do!!! Please, don’t take her away from us!!! Gracie and Grant need her, so do I. 

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William and Jackie Kaufman, Rachel’s parents, arrived at the compound. Gracie and Grant were surprised but happy to see their grandparents.

“Nana, grampy what are you doing here? We missed you.” Pulling the twins into a hug, Mr. Kaufman tried to compose himself.

“We missed our doodle bugs. My goodness, you’ve grown.” Grant nodded. “I play soccer!!”

Gracie added, “Me too!!!”

“Gracie and Grant, how would you like to see what Dr. Banner is working on? He has pizza and soda. Wanda, take our junior scientists to lab. Be sure to give them a lab coat!” Tony ran interference.

“C’mon auntie Wanda!!!! Let’s go!!! See ya later nana and grampy!!! Love you!!!” After the twins left, Mrs. Kaufman couldn’t contain her pain. Sam and Nat comforted them as best as possible.

Rachel’s dad asked if Bucky had called with an update. “No we haven’t heard anything.” Nat dabbed her eyes.

Tony’s cell phone buzzed. “Hey Steve. Rachel’s parents are here.” “Take them to the conference room, make sure it’s soundproofed.”

Once in the conference room, Tony put the phone on speaker. “Okay we’re set.”

“Hello Steve.” “Hello Mrs. Kaufman.” “How’s our daughter? Where’s James?”

“Um, he’s in no condition to talk. The docs gave him a sedative. I’m not gonna lie. Rachel’s in bad shape. You should come to the hospital. They’re saying she might not make it. M’sorry ma’am.”

Sam, Nat, and Mr. Kaufman gasped. “No, please don’t say that. We’re on our way!!!”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., ready the helicopter. Wilson and Romanoff, escort the Kaufman’s. The twins will probably get suspicious. How do you want us to handle it?”

Mr. Kaufman didn’t know how to answer. “My mind’s so jumbled, I’ll leave that to James. Thank you for everything Tony.”

 “No need to thank me. Keep us updated.” 

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Groggily gazing around the room, Bucky noticed Clint asleep in one of the lounge chairs. Steve munched on a sandwich.

Steve helped Bucky sit up. “Hey pal. How are ya feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by an 18-wheeler. What did they do t’me?”

“Nurse had to sedate ya.” “What’d I do?”

“Nothing anyone in your position would’ve done. Rach’s parents are on the way. Try and eat something will ya?”

“Have you heard anything from Dr. Miller? How are my kids?” Bucky sipped on coffee.

“No one’s been in. The twins are fine. They don’t know anything.” “M’gonna have t’talk to them. S’gonna be hard.”

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Mr. and Mrs. Kaufman, Sam and Nat arrived at the hospital. Dr. Miller introduced himself. Everyone listened attentively as he provided an update on Rachel’s condition.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Barnes’ condition hasn’t changed. Mr. Barnes, Mr. and Mrs. Kaufman, Dr. Rittenour would like to have a word with you. I’ll take you to his office.”

Dr. Rittenour Chief Neurologist, requested a meeting. He wanted to know how to proceed in case Rachel’s condition deteriorated further.

“Mr. Barnes, wh-?” Bucky stopped him mid-sentence. “No stop it! Rachel’s gonna be just fine!”

Gently touching his arm, Mrs. Kaufman cautioned her son-in-law, “James, don’t you think this is hard for us as well? She’s our only child; our daughter. We’ve watched her grow from a rambunctious little girl to a wife, mother of twins.” Tears rolled down her weary face.

“I trust you to make the right decision, if necessary.” “I dunno how to do this. She’s my lifeline. How am I supposed to go on without her?”

“Please, if I may interject? The next 24 hours are crucial. We’ll monitor her closely. Mr. Barnes, would you like to visit your wife? You’ll have only 5 minutes I’m sorry. Let her know you’re here.”

Rachel’s parents nodded. “Give her our love.” “Okay.”

Drs. Miller and Chandler escorted Bucky to the SICU. His breath hitched when Rachel came into view. Bandages, ventilator, EKG, EEG machines, IV and blood drips.

Whimpering, Bucky steadied himself. Rachel’s still, bandaged form buckled his knees. Dr. Miller helped him to a chair near her bed.

On instinct, he reached for her hand, only having to pull away. “Doc gave me a few minutes wit’cha. Grant and Gracie miss ya like crazy. Your parents send their love. I’m a mess baby. Ya gotta fight Rachel. ‘Member when we first met? Gosh you were stubborn. Made me love ya even more. I’ll always be by your side. I love ya.”

Before he left, Bucky smoothed the blanket on Rachel’s bed. “Would ya like me to bring your favorite blanket and a picture of Grant and Gracie? I will. I love you with all my heart.”

Rachel Yvette Barnes faced insurmountable odds. Bucky couldn’t fathom his life without her. And if he had a say in the matter, he’d make sure Rachel didn’t give up either.

@crazy-little-thing-called-buck