#i need this to be real and it never will be

[lizardho]

Being at BYU after my mission was weird. Like. Bad weird. Everybody was still acting like missionaries but they had nobody to teach so it all turned into the holier-than-thou bs that missions always degenerate into over time. Just the forced establishment of some weird social hierarchy where value is based on how devout you are, with people digging and scratching and clawing their way around humanity in order to become even more devout.

And this bullshit was actively killing me. The attempts to stay Good Enough were scraping the remnants of my humanity out of my husk like a spoon scraping the last bits of watermelon from a rind - I was doing what I had always done, be Mormon, do what Mormons do, be as good a Mormon as I could be, only it was breaking me. Instead of healing me, making me whole, taking away my burdens, it was pulling the life out of me in exchange for nothing. I was just being squeezed dry of everything I had to offer and being given back shame and isolation and rejection because I didn’t do it first, or fast enough, or with a willing enough heart, or whatever the hell they could come up with.

But despite myself, because most people smarter than me AND dumber than me would have left already, I found myself trying over and over and over again to make it work with no success.

One day, I snap. I’ve had enough. I need answers. I’ve looked everywhere and done everything I could by myself, and nothing had come of it, so I went to talk to a faculty member. A teacher at the school. He taught religion classes and his lessons were powerfully and inspiringly honest, earnest, and filled with raw humanity. I figured if I could get a straight (ha) answer from anyone, it would be that guy. He wasn’t involved in the Mormon rat race. He wasn’t playing the stupid “I’m Worthier Than You” games that were so pernicious on campus. He was being real and open and vulnerable and I needed that from someone.

So I go into his office and I lay my cards on the table. I figure if I’m gonna get helped, I need to be honest. I share with him my weird feelings about dad leaving the church on my mission. About my siblings leaving the church. About my own doubts and hurts. I tell him about how hard it is to be in limbo like this without knowing what to do or where to turn. I tell him I need answers.

And he listens. And then he starts with the usual Mormon apologetics bullshit. And I say “no” because I’m done with that. That doesn’t fly with me anymore. And he sees and hears me say no and he puts a hand on mine, makes direct eye contact, and says,

“You know, you don’t have to go to church, right?”

I, being a person who was hurting, interpreted that as “if you have questions that I can’t answer you should fuck off.” I got defensive immediately and he again listened, put his hand on mine, and said,

“Not what I meant. You can stay if you want, but I want you to know you can leave too. Take a break. Give yourself time to heal. This isn’t supposed to hurt this much, and if it hurts you can take a break and come back when it feels good.”

I’m actually getting choked up just writing that out. Nobody had ever said that to me before. When I talked about my dysphoria to my parents, they said teenagers are supposed to feel like that a little bit. When I talked to people about my difficulties at church they had always told me that it was a sign that church was working. That I was doing it right. That growth was supposed to hurt, that excising the Natural Man from me was supposed to be difficult, that I was supposed to be feeling this anxious and sad and scared. I had never ever ever been told that pain and suffering were signs things were going wrong. I had actually explicitly been told by many many many many many many many many people that it was good, that the hurt and the heartache and the constant feeling of never being good enough and never being able to fit into my own skin or love myself in any meaningful way was desirable. That it was something they envied.

It’s not supposed to hurt. Some things can, and should. My parents were right that some body concerns were normal (although we later found out my specific concerns were more abnormal lmao, I got that tgirl swag). My family and friends were right that challenging myself with difficult assignments and ambitious goals was supposed to feel uncomfortable.

And at the same time, THIS was not supposed to hurt. I was not meant to have this gaping throbbing aching hole in my Me that never let up. It wasn’t supposed to hurt. IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HURT.

I don’t know when exactly I started crying, but I was crying the whole rest of the day. It was the first time in a while I had to actually take a Valium to clam down. It wasn’t supposed to hurt.

He also told me that if it ever stopped hurting I could always come back.

I think that was the day I really left. Others might say otherwise, I still tried to make it work for a few more months after that, but the idea that it wasn’t supposed to hurt really changed me.

If any of you are reading this - there are things that are supposed to be difficult. Things that are supposed to hurt. But if your faith or your beliefs about the world or yourself leave you feeling like you’ve been hollowed out at a minor mistake or setback, if your failures and setbacks leave you feeling raw and numb frequently, if the company you keep or the places you stay leave you feeling constantly inadequate with out hope or help, then I’ll tell you the same thing that professor told me:

You can go somewhere else. You can do something else. And you can always come back when you want.

But it’s not supposed to hurt.

[caffeinewitchcraft]

It's a brainstorm day! A day I spend only writing prompts for myself to be used (or not used) at a later date. This day looks like this in my notebook:

A search and rescue ranger for hire that always somehow ends up saving people from supernatural phenomena she has NO experience with. She has regular run ins with people who DO know what the supernatural phenomena are, but they never find anyone alive. They try to recruit her and she has a hard time believing they’re for real.

A kingdom that chooses its ruler by who can make the most interesting story about an artefact from the treasury, assigning a history to it after their library of records burned 1000 years ago. However,  the main character is reincarnated from that time and keeps winning the challenges by ACTUALLY knowing what they’re for. Or the main character makes up stories according to the kingdom’s morals and wins that way? Interesting world, don’t know what character would be the most interesting in it.

A ghost who is just being a Chill Guy when he’s dragged into a mad scientist’s experiment which gives him a body – HIS body made corporeal – again. Does he feel good about this? Bad about this? Is his new quest to die or to live a better life than he lived before?

A girl who is turned into a werewolf during a college rager and she treats it like an STD. “I am confident I can live a good life, it will just look a little different than others’. This condition can be managed (uwu).” And the pack who is now obligated to take her in is like…look we don’t want to tell you how to live your life since one of our pack members did this to you non-consensually, but you DO need to fall into pack dynamics asap. And she’s like, “Sparkle, sparkle, NO”

A mermaid who is confused and alarmed when her friends all suddenly want to give up their tails to go on land. Turns out there is a Land Siren out there and it’s literally just a character from Bay Watch.

[andragoras-in-vanity]

ive never heard of mushroom leather, thats actually super cool? but i do disagree with your opinion that leather will become less popular as industrial farming declines, in my experience its entirely the opposite. if small/local farms are doing the butchering they have nowhere to send the leather and hides so they become more readily available to artisans who work with those goods rather than nameless corperations with generic leather jackets that arent stitched together properly, fall apart easily, and mix materials between synthetic and leather to cut costs. as it stands now, at least in north america, majority of industrial farming just throws away the hides, which is why im in favour of small scale farms utilizing all pieces of the animal before we move to plant based (only because, again, i dont know what the process is for some plant based options and sometimes theyre equally as bad for the environment and the workers and those vegan companies try to hide that fact).

more research absolutely should be done on respectable synthetics but demand should be met with whats already safely available when possible because demand will be fairly evenly split id imagine, but i have seen a lot of misinformation about processing methods too so i do tend to be biased in favour of omnivorous options rather than 100% vegan

Ayoo just to preempt the inevitable dumb takes we’re about to start seeing;

I am PRO-WOOL

I am PRO-LEATHER

I am PRO-BEES

Fuck the idea of replacing durable, sustainable animal products with cheap, flimsy plastic that doesn’t bio-degrade. Agave nectar and other artificial sweeteners are expensive, labor-intensive, and destroy the environment to be farmed.

Do not buy into pernicious marketing campaigns pushed by dickhead organizations trying to stay relevant, like PETA.

[th3mrskory]

Unspoken Desires

Pairing: fem!Reader x Old Man!Logan

Warning: 18+ MDNI, SMUT,explicit language, coercion (if you squint), oral (male/female receiving), handjob, fingering, unprotected p in v, missionary, doggy style, anal play, creampie.

Summary: Y/N is always the one taking care of everyone, but tonight Logan decides it’s her turn to let go. Rough, tender, and unapologetically intense, he’ll make sure she doesn’t forget who’s in charge—or how good it feels to be taken care of for once.

Word count: 5.6k

A/N: As @coocoocachewgotscrewed so brilliantly put it, 'As the girl that takes care of everyone: SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF ME.' And that’s how this little fic came to life.

© th3mrskory. don’t copy, translate, or use my works in any form with AI, ChatGPT or any other automated tools. I only share my stories here, so if you see them posted elsewhere, i’d appreciate it if you let me know.

The world had never been kind to her softness. In her youth, she'd learned early that the only way to survive was to take up space, to become a force others couldn't ignore, even if they didn't understand it. She had built walls from the ground up, stone by stone until they formed a fortress no one could breach. She had everything together—mostly. She had to. People depended on her and needed her strength to carry them through the chaos of life, so she did. She carried it all. Always.

But there were moments—quiet moments, when the world was still—when the weight of it all pressed against her chest, relentless. The loneliness in her veins. The unspoken ache buried deep within her ribs.

She never asked for help. She didn't need it. Her hands were too used to giving. And when she laughed, when she made jokes about being single—"Men want to be babied. I don't have time to raise a child."—it was easier to mask the truth. It was easier to hide the hunger that lingered beneath her words. The hunger for something she couldn't name, something too soft to fit into the life she'd built.

It was supposed to be just another day, another task, another moment in the long string of motions she went through without thought. But then she saw him—Logan, standing there with that quiet, raw strength of his. The way he didn't try to impress anyone, didn't need to, because the power in him was as much in his silence as it was in his actions. There was no pretense. No façade.

And she hated that it drew her in. 

She hated how much she wanted him—him, the one man who wouldn't cower in her presence, the one who wouldn't need her to be anything other than exactly what she was.

She noticed him more these days, more than she cared to admit. She tried to bury the thoughts, to ignore the way her heart would quicken whenever he was near, the way her body seemed to ache for something it didn't know how to name.

Logan saw it, though. He always did. The way she wore that strength-like armor. But he'd spent enough time with it to know what armor looked like—he knew what it meant to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and never let anyone see how heavy it was.

He didn't pity her. Hell, he admired her more than anyone he'd ever known. But he saw the cracks. The storm churned behind her eyes. The way she pulled away just when things might have gotten too real, too close. 

She never let anyone in.

But he wasn't afraid of it. Not of her. Not of that ferocity.

And so, on that night, after a thousand little things had piled up until there was no room left for her to breathe, it came out.

Her words were sharp, and cutting, but they were the truth. The raw, jagged truth that she never allowed to be spoken. She was tired of pretending. Tired of holding the world together when no one saw her crumble beneath it.

"What, you think I don't need help? You think I like doing everything myself?" Her voice trembled only slightly, a crack in the fortress that she had so carefully built.

He didn't flinch. Didn't back away. He'd seen that wall before, and he didn't fear it.

He only stepped closer, his presence as solid as the ground beneath them.

"I think you're too damn stubborn to ask for it," he said, his voice low, but the understanding in it was enough to make her heart catch in her throat.

For a moment, the world paused. The storm inside her stilled, and she saw it—really saw it for the first time. He wasn't afraid of her strength. He didn't want to tear it down. He just wanted to be there, beside her, when it all became too much to bear.

He didn't need to fix her. He didn't need to save her.

He just needed to let her be.

Let her lean into him. Let her rest.

Her breath caught as she stepped toward him, her hands trembling, unsure but desperate. For once, she wasn't the one giving. For once, she could be held, could be taken care of. 

Logan's hands were steady, as they always were, but now, they weren't just offering strength. They were offering safety—something she hadn't realized she'd been searching for all along. 

"Hey," he whispered, his voice low, soothing. "You don't have to be strong all the time. You're allowed to let it out." 

The words broke something inside her. Heat prickled behind her eyes, and her chest heaved with the weight of everything she'd kept buried. 

Logan didn't move. He didn't push. He just let her cry, his hand resting firm and comforting on her back, his presence solid as the ground beneath her. 

"Y/N..." His voice was softer now, laced with something she couldn't quite place. Gently, his hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away her tears with a tenderness that made her knees weak. 

"You don't have to carry it all, bub. Let me in, just this once." 

Her hands shook as she pressed them to his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips. Grounding her. And when she rubbed her cheek against his palm, the motion instinctive, something inside her gave way. 

Her eyes fell to his lips. The urge to kiss him became impossible to ignore. 

He leaned down, brushing his lips against her forehead, but then he paused, his gaze locking with hers. 

She couldn't stop herself. She leaned in, kissing him hard, desperate for the release, the comfort, the closeness. It was a kiss that broke everything wide open—a kiss that held the weight of everything they'd both been holding back. 

The kiss deepened, the world narrowing to the warmth of his lips and the solid strength of his hands still cradling her face. She felt the tension in her chest unravel, replaced by a need that clawed at her, desperate and all-consuming.

Logan didn't rush. He never did. His hands slid down, slow and deliberate, tracing over her arms until his fingers wrapped around her wrists. He pulled back just enough to meet her eyes, his breath hot against her lips.

"No walls. No fightin'. Just let me.", he murmured, his voice gravelly and sure, sending a shiver down her spine. The words hit her like a hammer, shattering the last of her defenses. She wasn't used to this, wasn't used to handing over the reins, but with Logan, it felt...safe. Right.

Her pulse thundered as she nodded, the tiniest of movements, but it was enough for him.

Logan's lips curved into a faint, knowing smile before he kissed her again, deeper this time, his hands guiding hers up and over her head. Her fingers curled instinctively as he pinned her wrists against the wall behind her, the roughness of the surface contrasting with the gentleness of his touch.

"Just let me make you feel good," he said, his voice low and commanding. She exhaled shakily, her head tilting back as his mouth moved to her neck, teeth scraping lightly against her skin before his tongue soothed the spot. Her body arched into him, her hips pressing forward, seeking more, needing more.

"Logan..." Her voice was barely above a whisper, a plea wrapped in the sound of his name.

He hummed against her throat, one hand still holding her wrists in place while the other traveled down her side, his fingers skimming over the curve of her hip. "That's it," he rumbled. "Let me hear you."

Each touch, each kiss, stripped away the layers she'd built to protect herself. She wasn't in control anymore—not of her body, not of her mind, not of the way she melted beneath him. And for once, she didn't care.

Logan moved with a precision that left her breathless, his hand slipping beneath her shirt, rough fingertips tracing the softness of her skin. He paused just below her ribs, his eyes flicking up to hers.

"Say it, darlin'," he coaxed. "Say you'll let me have you."

Her lips parted, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. "I'm yours."

And that was all it took.

His hands, calloused and strong, gripped her thighs, hoisting her up with an ease that sent a shiver racing down her spine. She gasped, clinging to his shoulders as her body pressed tightly against his.

"Where's your bedroom?" he growled against her ear, his voice low, gravelly, and filled with the kind of raw command that made her knees weak, though she wasn't even standing.

"End of the hall," she whispered, the words trembling out of her as his teeth grazed her earlobe, a low hum rumbling deep in his chest.

"Good girl," he murmured, the praise almost too rough to feel soft, and yet it sent heat pooling low in her stomach.

He moved through her place with purposeful strides, each step a reminder of the strength coiled in his body. She felt the steady rhythm of his breathing against her chest, the way his arms tightened around her as if he dared anything or anyone to take her from him.

When they reached her bedroom, Logan kicked the door open without hesitation, the force behind it making it swing back against the wall. The dim light from the hallway framed his silhouette—broad shoulders, wild hair, and eyes that burned as he looked down at her.

The room felt smaller with him in it, his presence overwhelming, and consuming. He didn't glance around, didn't make a single remark. His focus was entirely on her as if the world beyond her didn't exist.

"On the bed," he rasped, his voice cutting through the thick silence.

Before she could even process his words, he was lowering her onto the mattress, her back meeting the cool sheets as his hands lingered, pressing her down as he needed her to stay right where she was.

"Logan—"

"Quiet." The single word was sharp and commanding, and it sent a jolt of heat through her.

His eyes roved over her, dark and smoldering, drinking her in as though he was committing every inch of her to memory. One knee pressed into the mattress beside her, his weight shifting as he leaned closer, his hands bracketing her head.

"Spent your whole damn life holdin' everything together," he muttered his tone a mix of frustration and something darker. "Not tonight. Tonight, you're mine."

Her lips parted, but no sound came out, just a sharp intake of breath as he tilted her chin up with his thumb, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"I'm not askin', darlin'." His voice dropped to a growl, sending a shudder down her spine.

Her heart thundered in her chest as his lips claimed hers again, rough and unrelenting, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip just enough to make her gasp. The sound made his grip tighten, his hands sliding down her sides slowly as if savoring the way her body responded to him.

"You don't have to be strong tonight," he murmured against her lips, his voice softer now, though no less commanding. "Let me carry it. Let me carry you."

Her resolve cracked beneath the weight of his words, her body trembling as her hands found his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his dress shirt. For once, she didn't fight. She didn't resist.

She just let go.

Logan's eyes never left hers as he straightened, standing tall above her. His hands were steady as he reached for the hem of her shirt. The air between them felt charged, and heavy, like the moment before a storm.

"Arms up," he commanded, his voice low and rough, leaving no room for hesitation.

She obeyed without a word, raising her arms as he gripped the fabric, his knuckles brushing against her sides. He pulled the shirt up slowly, dragging the material over her skin with a sensuality that made her shiver. The shirt caught for a moment, tangled in her hair, and Logan let out a low chuckle, dark and throaty.

"Relax," he muttered, his voice softer now as he freed her, his fingers lingering against her temple, brushing stray strands away from her face.

The shirt dropped to the floor with a quiet rustle, forgotten the second it left his hand. His gaze roamed over her now-bare skin, unhurried and scorching, like he wanted to memorize every curve, every scar, every inch of her that she'd never let anyone else see.

"You're beautiful," he said, the words rough and quiet as if they weren't meant for her to hear, but they landed with the force of a confession.

Her cheeks burned under his scrutiny, but there was no hiding from him. He stepped closer, his hands moving to the waistband of her jeans. His fingers brushed her skin, calloused and warm, and she bit back a gasp as he popped the button with ease.

"Look at me," he ordered, his tone low but firm.

Her eyes met his, and the intensity in his gaze made her breath hitch. He was utterly focused as if she were the only thing that mattered in the world. Slowly, he slid the zipper down, the sound loud in the quiet room.

"Lift your hips," he murmured, his hands curling around the waistband, tugging the denim down with maddening slowness.

She shifted, doing as he asked, and he peeled the jeans away, dragging them down her legs. His fingers brushed her calves, and her ankles before the fabric joined her shirt on the floor. The air felt colder now, her skin hypersensitive to every little movement, every little touch.

Logan's eyes raked over her, his expression dark and unreadable. Then he reached out, his hands gripping her ankles, his thumbs running along the delicate bone there. He tugged her toward him, pulling her to the edge of the bed with a strength that made her stomach flip.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he growled, his voice ragged, laced with something almost feral.

Her heart raced as he leaned down, his fingers hooking into the thin straps of her bra, sliding them off her shoulders with an aching slowness. The straps fell away, his knuckles grazing her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"You don't need this," he murmured, his lips brushing the curve of her collarbone as he reached behind her, unhooking the clasp with a practiced ease.

The bra slipped from her body, and Logan let it fall without a glance, his hands already returning to her, tracing a path down her sides. His palms were warm, rough in the best way, and they left trails of fire wherever they touched.

"Every inch of you," he whispered, his lips ghosting over her skin as his hands slid lower. "Mine."

Her breath hitched, her body arching toward him instinctively, surrendering completely to his touch.

Logan's hands paused at her hips, his fingers slipping under the thin elastic of her panties. His gaze flicked up to hers, holding her there with an intensity that made her pulse thunder in her ears.

She nodded, her voice failing her, but it didn't matter. Logan saw everything he needed in her eyes.

With one smooth motion, he slid the last barrier from her body, baring her completely to him. He stood there for a moment, his gaze raking over her with a hunger that made her shiver.

"Perfect," he muttered, more to himself than to her, before leaning down, his lips brushing against her ear.

"Now let me show you what it means to let go."

Logan knelt between her legs, his hands on her knees, gently parting them as he moved with calm, deliberate intent. She froze for a second, a wave of embarrassment washing over her as she realized she hadn't shaved. Her gaze quickly flicked away, her cheeks flushing with the sudden vulnerability she felt.

But Logan noticed. He looked at her with a reassuring, almost amused smirk, his eyes flickering down her body before meeting hers again.

"Don't," he murmured, his voice low and soothing as he pressed a thumb along her inner thigh. "I like it just like this."

Her breath hitched at his words, the tension in her body slowly melting under his touch.

He lowered himself slowly, nuzzling his face against her inner thighs, placing soft, teasing kisses along their expanse. His right hand moved to her center, and he leaned in, pressing a kiss to her sensitive bud. His middle and ring fingers slid over her hole, collecting her wetness, and spreading it across her labia.

"She's drooling for me," he murmured as his fingers slowly began to push inside, allowing her to adjust to the stretch. He kept his gaze fixed on her face, watching her pleasure as his fingers began to pump in and out, each movement deliberate and slow.

His fingers continued their rhythmic motion, working in tandem with his mouth. He moved his tongue over her clit, the tip flicking over the sensitive skin in a slow, teasing rhythm that made her body arch toward him. Her hands fisted the sheets beneath her, desperately trying to hold onto something as the heat of his touch seared into her.

"Logan... please," she gasped, her voice trembling, her hips pressing closer to his face.

Logan didn't stop. His tongue flicked faster now, tracing every curve, every inch of her, his mouth drinking in her arousal. She couldn't stop herself anymore; her back arched as her body responded to him, the tension building within her like a wave. "So good," she moaned, her voice breathy and desperate.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Logan murmured against her skin, his voice rough, thick with desire. He paused for a moment, lifting his head to look up at her. "I can feel you shaking. Let go."

She shuddered under his gaze, the command in his voice stripping away the last of her resistance. Her body wanted to obey, to give herself over completely to the sensations he was creating. "I can't... I need you, Logan," she pleaded, tangling her fingers in his hair, urging him back to her, wordlessly begging for more.

Logan smirked, his hands sliding down her sides, gripping her hips tightly as he pulled her closer to his mouth, continuing the rhythm with even more force, more hunger. Every lick, every flick of his tongue brought her closer to the edge.

He could feel the way her body tightened, the way her breath quickened. And then, without warning, his mouth pressed harder against her clit, his tongue moving with desperate speed as he drove her to the brink. She moaned loudly, her body shuddering as she reached the edge. "Logan... oh god," she cried out, completely surrendering to the pleasure.

As she caught her breath, her body still humming with the lingering sensation of his touch, a quiet yearning stirred within her. She sat up, her eyes locking onto his as she gently took his hand. Without a word, she brought his fingers to her lips, her eyes never leaving his. She traced them with her tongue, sucking them clean, savoring the taste of her arousal, before pulling back just a little.

"Dirty girl…" he said, his left hand cupping her cheek.

"I could be sucking something else", she said seductively.

He looked at her with an intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. "You don't have to," he murmured, his voice low, steady.

"I want to. Please."

Logan stood up slowly, keeping his eyes locked with hers. There was an intensity in his gaze, an unspoken challenge, and a silent invitation all at once.

She positioned herself on her knees before him. Her movements were deliberate, almost hypnotic, as her hands traced the strong lines of his shoulders, sliding down his chest, and over the hard muscles of his belly.

When her fingers reached his belt, she didn't hesitate. With a swift motion, she unbuckled it, the leather slipping free with an audible click before it fell to the floor. Her hands moved quickly to the button of his dress pants, flicking it open, and she slowly lowered the zipper.

She tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it free from his waistband. Her fingers, delicate yet determined, began to unbutton the shirt, one button at a time. Her gaze never left him, and the way her hands worked with such slow precision sent a wave of heat through his chest. The act was intimate, each button a whispered invitation.

Once the shirt was undone, she moved to the cuffs, gently opening them before pressing a soft kiss to the back of each of his hands. Logan closed his eyes briefly at the touch, the tenderness of it catching him off guard. His thumb stroked the curve of her cheek, the touch affectionate, reverent.

There was something magnetic about the way she undressed him—each movement slow and filled with purpose. Her eyes held a quiet hunger that mirrored his own, a silent language between them that made his pulse quicken.

He shrugged the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. She didn't waste a moment, pulling his pants and boxers down his legs in one smooth, fluid motion, letting them drop to the floor as he stepped out of the garment.

He stood there, bare in front of her. His body was exposed, but it wasn't the nudity that left him feeling vulnerable. It was the way his body didn't respond like it once had, the slow burn of frustration creeping in.

But that did not deter her. She braced herself on all fours, the movement full of quiet confidence. Leaning in, she began licking and gently sucking at his balls, the heat of her mouth sending a shiver through him. His breath hitched as her right hand took hold of his semi-hard dick, her touch light but teasing, coaxing him to respond. The softness of her lips, the pressure of her hand, stirred something deep inside him, and he could feel himself slowly hardening.

She licked a long stripe from his balls up to his tip, her mouth hot against his skin. The sudden surge of sensation had him grunting low, his hands instinctively finding their way into her hair, fingers curling into her locks as he pulled her closer.

"Fuck," Logan breathed, his voice low and rough, as his grip tightened on her hair, pulling her in deeper, the feeling of her mouth sending waves of heat through him. "Don't stop," he muttered.

Y/N could feel him growing heavier and thick in her mouth. She released his dick with a loud pop and with both hands began pumping it.

At the sight Logan closed his eyes and let his head fall back, the hold on her hair tightening. She took him in her mouth and, hollowing her cheeks, began taking him deeper.

She gagged around him when her nose reached the grey hairs on the base and pulled back coughing, a string of saliva connecting her to his member.

Y/N looked up and smiled mischievously seeing him fully erect.

Logan pushed her onto the bed, his hands firmly pinning her wrists to the mattress as he hovered over her. His eyes locked onto hers.

"You're trouble," he finally muttered, his voice deep and rough.

She smirked, but there was a glint of challenge in her eyes. "You don't seem to mind," she teased, her breath hitching as his gaze darkened with hunger.

His lips curved into a slow, predatory smile. Without warning, he moved, pinning her down more securely. "No, I don't," he growled, his voice low as he leaned in closer, brushing his lips over her neck.

Her breath quickened as she felt the weight of his body pressing against hers. She could feel the heat radiating off him, and despite herself, she arched up, meeting the intensity of his gaze. He was in control now, his hands steady as he guided her into place.

He took a breath, his lips brushing against her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "You're going to beg for it," he whispered. His tone was rough, yet there was a subtle edge of something softer, almost possessive. "And I'll make sure you don't forget who's in charge."

She bit her lip, anticipating what he would do next.

Logan smiled darkly and kissed her again, his right hand traveling down her chest and grabbing her right breast, giving it a harsh squeeze.

He positioned himself between her legs, gripping his member at the base as he ran his tip along her sensitive center, teasing her with deliberate strokes from her clit to her entrance. Each motion made her hips twitch, her body responding instinctively to his touch.

Her moans filled the room, "Logan," she said breathlessly.

"Yes?"

She closed her legs around him pulling him closer. Logan laughed at her antics. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned back slightly, gathering spit in his mouth before letting it fall onto her, aiding his movement.

Her moans became desperate, almost broken, her hands clutching at his forearms. "Logan," she whimpered, her voice raw with need. "Please… I need you."

His smirk deepened as he held her gaze, the intensity in his eyes making her squirm beneath him. "I told you, you'd beg" he murmured, his voice low and rough.

Her chest heaved, her lips trembling with the words she couldn't seem to stop. "I'm yours, Logan. Please…"

One large hand moved to her throat, his palm pressing gently against her skin, holding her in place. His thumb traced the line of her jaw as his other hand gripped her thigh, pulling her even closer. "Mine," he growled, his tone possessive, claiming.

The pressure at her throat made her head swim, a strange mix of restraint and trust that sent a bolt of heat through her. She arched into his hold, her body surrendering completely.

"You like this, don't you?" he rasped, his lips brushing against hers but not quite touching. His voice was low and commanding, but there was a glint of something softer beneath it, a promise just out of reach.

Her breath hitched, and she let out a shaky moan, her hands clutching at his wrist. "Yes," she whispered, desperate and trembling.

His mouth curved into a wicked smirk as his hand shifted, loosening his hold just enough for her to feel the contrast. "Let me take care of you," he murmured, dragging his thumb along the curve of her jaw.

The words lingered in the air, heavy with intent but unspoken in full. His free hand slid down her body, fingers tracing her curves with a deliberateness that made her skin tingle.

She whimpered, her body responding to every calculated movement. "Logan..."

He leaned in, his lips ghosting over her ear. "Stop thinking. Just feel," he whispered, the edge of his voice rough yet grounding. "That's all I want from you tonight."

He shifted between her legs, his hands gripping her hips, lifting her with ease as he positioned himself. The heat of his body pressed against hers, and her heart thudded in her chest, anticipation coiling tightly in her core.

"Tell me if it's too much," he murmured, his voice a rough whisper.

She nodded, her breath hitching as she felt the tip of his member pressing against her entrance. With a slow, fluid motion, he eased himself inside, feeling the resistance of her body disappearing.

Y/N threw her head back, a low moan slipping from her lips as her body adjusted to his length, "Fuck," she breathed, unable to hide the raw need in her voice.

She bit her lip at the feeling of him twitching inside of her. Logan leaned forward, his tongue sliding down the side of her neck. He then moved to her breasts, attaching his mouth to one of her nipples and sucking. He released her nipple.

"Breathe," he whispered, his hand sliding up to rest on her waist, grounding her. "I've got you."

He straightened up, his body towering over hers, and braced his hand on the headboard as he drew his hips back, the feel of his withdrawal sending a shiver through her. She barely had time to adjust before he slammed back into her.

She was trembling beneath him, her nails digging into his shoulders as she tried to keep up with the brutal rhythm he set. Every time he pulled out, every time he pushed back in, the pressure inside her built, and she couldn't help but whimper.

He picked up the pace, his thrusts turning faster, more brutal, as he pushed into her with a hunger that matched the fire in her veins. Her hips moved to meet him, desperate for more, and he responded with a growl of approval, his hands tightening on her hips to anchor her in place as his rhythm grew harder, more punishing.

"Fuck Y/N."

She smiled at him.

"You like that, don't you?" Logan's voice was rough, and dark, as he pulled back slightly, only to push in even harder.

She couldn't stop herself from moaning, the sharpness of the sensation hitting her in waves.

"That's right," Logan growled, his grip on her hips like iron as he rocked into her with force.

Her body responded without thought, her legs wrapping tighter around his waist, pulling him deeper, faster as if she couldn't get enough. The sound of skin slapping echoed in the room, mixing with the desperate gasps coming from her lips.

Without warning, he shifted his position, his hands leaving her hips for a moment, only to slip under her and lift her body, pulling her into a new angle. She gasped, the sudden shift throwing her off balance, but Logan's grip on her was firm, and controlling, as he guided her back onto him.

Her back arched instinctively, the new position deepening their connection, and she moaned, her hands reaching for the headboard to brace herself. Logan's thrusts grew slower but deeper, more deliberate now, aimed to bring her right to the brink.

Logan's hand came down hard on her left asscheek jolting Y/N forward.

"Logan…" she gasped, her voice trembling with need.

He could hear it—the desperation in her voice, the way her body was bucking against his. He watched her face, her eyes closed tight, her lips parted in a silent plea for release. He wanted to hear her, wanted to feel her break under him.

He gave one last hard, deep thrust, then paused, letting the sensation build before pulling back almost completely. She whimpered, the loss of movement driving her crazy, and before she could protest, he repositioned again, this time bending her further back, his hands now holding her shoulders down as he ran his member between her asscheeks.

Her breath hitched as she looked back at him, over her shoulder, her eyes filled with raw desire.

Logan didn't wait any longer. He positioned himself behind her, his hands firmly gripping her hips as he pushed into her slowly at first, savoring the tight, intense heat that engulfed him. The change in angle sent a shockwave of pleasure through her, and she moaned, her hands clutching at the sheets in desperation.

"Fuck," Logan muttered, his voice low and full of grit as he began to move, his thrusts quick and forceful, each one pushing her further into the bed.

She gasped with each hard thrust, the pleasure taking over her senses, her body rocking in time with his. The deeper connection from this position sent waves of bliss coursing through her, and she pressed back into him, her hips meeting his with every thrust.

"Does this feel better?" Logan growled, his hands tightening on her hips, guiding her with raw intensity.

She could barely manage a breathless, "Yes, harder…"

His thrusts grew harder, faster, and relentless, pushing her toward the edge.

She couldn't hold back anymore, "Logan …I'm gonna…"

His strokes grew sloppier as he grabbed her neck, angling her face so he could kiss her.

Y/N's moans filled the room. The mixture of his hard thrusts and the slap of his balls on her ass pushed her over the edge as she began shaking.

Y/N fell forward, her face on the bed and her ass in the air. Logan didn't stop. His hands opened her asscheeks as he watched his thick, veiny member going in and out of her hole, creating a creamy ring at the base of his member.

The new angle allowed Logan to continuously hit her cervix. "Be a good girl, come on my dick."

Her hands fisted the sheets and Logan, with his thumb began circling her other hole. The new stimulation tipped Y/N over the edge as she came hard on his member.

Logan didn't stop. Didn't even slow down as he followed her, his movements like a force of nature, unyielding, as he pushed her through the waves of pleasure, every last inch of her shaking with the force of it.

Her mouth fell open as she felt him stilling and his release spilling inside of her.

"Fuck!", he said, throwing his head back.

He remained still for a moment but then pulled out when he felt his member softening. He sat on his knees admiring their joint releases dripping out of her spent hole.

"Jesus, that's a fucking sight.", his index finger reached collecting the release and pushing it back.

Y/N moaned and fell on her stomach. He removed his fingers and lay next to her.

"Did it help?", he asked playfully.

"Shut up Logan."

______________________________________________________________

© th3mrskory 2025 — all rights reserved.

[reasonsforhope]

Climate change in 2025: So, what now?

Some real talk for the new year, about where we now stand, and what the next years are going to look like.

(Still ends on a “be hopeful!! or else” kind of note, but definitely gets into some heavy truths about the meaning of recent events.)

--

Obviously, between Trump's reelection at the Los Angeles fires, things are feeling a lot more precarious than they did just a few months ago. I know a lot of people are incredibly stressed. I know I'm certainly stressed.

But this isn't the end. This isn't the beginning of the end, either. We're not doomed.

Don't despair.

Yes, things are about to get harder. Yes, the effects of climate change are now becoming truly apparent.

But here's what you need to hold on to:

We have already cut expected warming in half.

More about that including sources here: (x) I'm not going to go into it again in detail, read the source for that. But it's true. In 2000, when I was a kid, they were predicting 4, 5, 6 degrees of warming, plus a runaway greenhouse effect that would boil the planet.

Now, scientists expect that global temperatures will likely land between 2 and 3 degrees.

Which is incredibly shitty, yes. But it's survivable.

And I have for a lot of reasons (check these masterposts on this) to believe with the confidence of knowing that we're going to get expected warming down even further.

And that's something to celebrate.

I’m not saying that the effects of warming aren’t already bad, or won’t get worse. I’m from California, I currently live in LA. My state’s been on fire for half my life. Natural disasters starting amping up early here (and we’re certainly in the middle of another historic number now). And yeah, it's fucking stressful right now.

But like I said, my state’s been breaking horrible disaster records constantly for the past ten years. I've done this before. And you know what? Natural disasters have been getting more and more survivable for years, largely thanks to faster warnings and better mass communication (x).

Does it suck how many natural disasters there are now? Yeah.

Does it suck how many more still there will be? Yeah.

Do we need to keep working our asses off to beat climate change? Yeah.

Are we going to need to organize and mobilize (both politically and especially community-wise) like never before to see as many people through these times as best as possible? Yeah.

But that doesn't mean we should despair. It absolutely does not mean that we've already lost.

An unknown number of the most optimistic futures were foreclosed when Trump won the US election. That’s painful but a reality.

But for twenty-ish of the past twenty-five years, the science said we weren’t going to survive climate change at all.

For most of my life, we were worried that we had set Earth on a course to become like fucking Venus (which is, on average, well over 800 degrees Farenheit). Even if it didn’t get that bad, we were so worried that global warming might wipe out all life on earth - except maybe the cockroaches.

(Literally, when I was a younger the kids at my church put on a play about that. It was like an adaptation of A Christmas Carol where the future only had talking cockroaches. I grew up so worried about this. (Not the cockroaches thing specifically. Mostly the general concept. Only a little about the cockroaches. Also yes my church was very granola why do you ask.))

But starting a few years ago, studies have shown that there wasn’t going to be a runaway greenhouse effect that could turn us into Venus; that earth is warming, yes, but we don’t seem to be in danger of that.

Between that and the fact that the adoption of renewables globally is too fast to be stopped, and we do have the technology and environmental science knowledge to eventually re-lower global temperatures by getting to net negative carbon emissions (x), and most countries and at least 73% of people in all countries for which there is data (x) actually care very much about the climate, yeah, we have closed the door on the lava planet future.

And yeah, I do think that’s worth celebrating.

That’s a massive fucking victory.

There's still more work to do, and I have every confidence that we're going to do it. I also think that, given the loss of the US election, there’s a really, really strong chance the developing world will be what saves us, and we’ll just be lucky to be along for the ride.

Most people have no idea of the kinds of amazing stories and statistics coming out of the developing world and Indigenous communities. The world is changing for the better on the environment, even as disasters (and the US) are getting worse. Solar power is going to revolutionize the fucking world, because it’s going to grant humanity universal access to electricity, and that’s going to revolutionize the world, especially the developing world (aka the global majority). And most people have no idea at all, much less how much it’s going to change.

So, yeah, natural disasters are going to keep getting worse.

But there’s a long, long long fucking way between “natural disasters are going to keep getting worse” and “the extinction of all of humanity and/or the vast majority of life on earth”

So, in the face of Trump, in the face of everything, I still choose to hope. I still choose to celebrate this as a true and profound accomplishment.

Because for over twenty years, I was afraid I’d never get to.

That difference is absolutely worth celebrating.

[sexy-monster-fucker]

Crawling Back to You

Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Reader SMUT

Summary: Hotch shows up at your place late one night needing company.

CW: newly divorced!Hotch, needy!Hotch, nipple play, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie,

a/n: imma be real with yall, I don’t think I’ll ever write a Hotch fanfic where the reader isn’t a part of the BAU lol also this is pretty much straight sex

*This is the fanfic the won the poll so it’s the one I finished first!*

~~~

It was nearly midnight.

So when a hasty knock pounded against your door, you were apprehensive. Finger resting flat against the side of your gun as you looked through your peephole. Unsuspecting a familiar face at this hour.

“Hotch?”

Aaron Hotchner. Your supervisor and Unit Chief. Bags under his eyes heavy with lines mapping his face. Lips pierced tightly into his mouth as his doey brown eyes looked at you. A small bit of stubble decorated his jaw. You examined his body making sure he did not have anything physically wrong with him. Noting his lack of work attire. T-Shirt with a zip-up over it along with some jogger pants and tennis shoes. Far more casual than you ever saw him.

“May I come inside?”

You stepped back into your home, allowing him to pass by you. Scent of his cologne overwhelmed your senses. Musky, with some sweeter hints underneath. Closing and locking the door behind you. Placing your gun back into its holster and hiding it in its usual spot.

“Is everything okay?”

Your hand rubbed your neck as you watched him look around your place. It was dark and silent. You made it a routine to read before bed. Curled up under your soft, yellow lamp on your couch. Just getting to the end of the latest chapter when you had been taken aback by the noise at your door.

Hotch’s silence worried you. Brow resting heavy upon his head as his fists clinched at his sides. Fearing he had some extremely troubling news to share with you. His disheveled hair and lack of formality clued you in that he had come over after something happened.

“Hotch…?”

You trailed off as you closed the distance between you. Hand flattening against his back with your question. Turning to look at you over his shoulder. Orbs glossy and sad. Your expression dropped when you saw the tears staining the corner of his eyes. Never having seen your boss like this. It tugged at your heart.

“Oh, Aaron…”

“Can I… stay here tonight? I can’t be alone in that house another night,” Hotch’s voice was soft and broken. Fighting off showing his emotions to you. Expression as if he had just seen someone kick his puppy. Urge inside you wanting to caress his face and pull him into a hug.

Divorce was hard. Even for someone as cold and stoic as Aaron Hotchner. It was far worse when a child was involved. Throwing his mundane life through the wringer. Ripping away the semblance of normality he had.

“Of course,” your fingers trickled down his arm, “Can I get you anything?” Offering as he slumped into your couch.

“Just some water,” his shaky voice had your stomach doing flips. Hurrying into the kitchen to hide your flushed expression. Pouring him a small cup and sitting it on the table in front of him. His neck strained backward as he rested his head. Admiring how the soft glow of your living room highlighted his jawline.

The two of you sat in complete silence. You fidgeting with your own hands. Pinching and rolling your fingers. Watching Hotch’s broad chest rise and fall with each deep breath he took. His nostrils flaring with slight irritation. Clearly defeated and tired. Unable to properly rest on his own.

Sighing heavily as he sat up. Leaning forward to grab the water. Drinking nearly half the glass in one go. It was strange seeing him here. On your couch in some ordinary clothes. Feeling like ordinary people momentarily. Hotch’s face fell into his hands. Rubbing along his worry lines.

“Hotch—“

“Y/N, I—“

You spoke at the same time. Awkwardly smiling as you cut each other off. Soft, unsure chuckles vibrating off your walls. Your hand planting itself against Hotch’s arm as you leaned forward, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Hotch’s sorry eyes blinked towards you. Eyebrows curved and mouth frowned. Same glassy stare from before returning. Nodding slowly, “I’ve been so lonely…” Your arms raised as Hotch laid his head in your lap. Unsure where to place your hands. Blushing at the intimacy your boss was seeking in you. Unable to deny the feelings swimming around your chest for him.

Resting one hand on his head and the other softly lying against his arm. Fingers petting his hair, stiff locks slowly softening. His hand came up and interlocked fingers with yours against his arm. Pulling your hand closer to his face. Cheek resting against it, a soft peck of his lips gifting itself there.

Your heartbeat rang in your ears. Trying your hardest to steady your breathing. To stop the shaking of your hands. Warmth engulfing you from where each part of him touched you.

Intimacy was not something anyone in the BAU ever got from Hotch. An occasional hug after something may have endangered someone. His tended to be spoken. Not physical. So this was a strange new feeling.

Not helping with the under-the-table feelings you had been harboring for Hotch for so long.

“Y/N…”

There was a whine on his tone that made your head spin. Your fingers tightened in his hair instinctively. Gripping on to something to support the pulse that radiated in your lower half. His brows knitted together at the feeling, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Yeah?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. Loosening your grip. Going back to gently petting him. Trying to calm yourself down.

Hotch turned, reaching his arm up to cup your face. Thumb tracing against your cheek. Dark pupils looked into yours. Admiring your face. Pushing himself up to meet your lips. Capturing you in a deep kiss.

Surprising you.

“A-Aaron…”

You stumbled. Not wanting him to do anything he would regret. Eyes scanning his for some semblance of— Regret? Fear? Hesitation? Something?

“Please…”

Aaron’s sultry voice and the feeling of his large hand against your face had you melting into him. His wanting tone begging you. Puppy dog eyes looking into you. Lips finding yours again. Pulling your lower lip between his. Tongue wanting to explore your mouth. Allowing him to pin you mostly against the couch with his torso. Thick fingers tangled in your hair. Holding you close to him as he latched onto you.

Pulling away for only a moment. Looking into each other’s eyes. Seeing nothing but desperate desire in his.

“You look so beautiful in this light,” Hotch gently pushed your hair behind your ear. Watching your face redden and lashes fluttered at his compliment. His lips planted on your neck, hand gripping the back of your head. Sucking and licking softly against your skin. Trailing along your pulse. No doubt, leaving soft purple marks behind. Nothing that would not fade or be easily covered by makeup, of course. Just enough for you to feel how badly he wanted you.

“Aaron…” you began, wanting to tell him how you were not some cheap hookup to help him get over his wife. How you needed to be something more than that with him. Confessing all your pent up feelings for him. How heavily they had been lying on your shoulders. And that you wanted this, just more special.

But.

When Aaron looked up at you with his big, sad brown eyes every thought you had disappeared. Consumed by how pathetic and desperate he looked. Disheveled hair and shiny lips sending you into a feral state.

You mouthed attempting to find the words. Losing every semblance of a thought as you watched his eyes dart between your eyes and lips. Hand coming up to cup his face. Nuzzling into your grasp as he stared at you. Warmth from his cheeks heating up your palm.

“Are you just wanting an outlet?” the whisper escaped your mouth without thought.

“No… I just want you,” Aaron whispered back. A soft confession of his true feelings. Leaning in to kiss you once more. Tongue parting your lips to lap into your mouth. Deepening the kiss as he sat up further. Attempting to shift so that he was pulling you onto his own lap. Shuffling around each other until your legs straddled him.

Long, thick fingers rubbed up your exposed thighs. Resting against your hips. Doeing his eyes up at you. Hands resting on his shoulders as you sat upon him. Enjoying the weight of you on his body. His hands danced under your loose fitting shirt, feeling your soft plump skin. Running up to squeeze at your breasts. Softly pinching at your nipples through your bra. Hotch sighed, hint of a smile on his face.

Gentle hands splayed across his chest. Fingertips tracing the zipper until you were pulling it down. Helping him remove his jacket, throwing it onto the floor. Leaving him in only a tight, white shirt. Muscles accented by the short sleeves and dim lighting. Lips falling against his jugular. Featherlight kisses scattered across his skin. His own hands gripping onto your back tightly. Shortly finding the clasp of your bra and undoing it.

Coarse fingertips hooked around the hem of your shirt, pulling it and your bra off in succession. Hotch’s hands gripped your back. Awestruck by the look of you above him. Nipples hardening when the cold air washed over your body. Softly cupping his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him once more. A groan vibrating through his throat when your breasts pressed against him.

“I’ll do whatever you want, Hotch,” you spoke into his mouth.

Corner of his mouth curved into a grin. Eyebrows still pressed tightly together as if he was still unsure. Not completely convinced on why he came here. Just knowing his body craved yours tonight.

“Take me to your bedroom,” Hotch breathed out. Not demanding, simply asking. Pleading eyes locking into yours.

You rose off his lap. Standing before his disheveled state. Legs spread wide with a tent pitched between them. Heating up your face when his body followed yours like losing contact with you physically hurt him. Interlocking fingers to guide him down the hallway. Smiling over your shoulder at him.

Allowing him into the room first, closing and locking the door behind you. His body was quick to pin yours against the door. Knocking the air out of your lungs momentarily. Strong hands squeezed at your softness. Pulling a moan from you when his rough fingertips pinched at your nipples. Leaning down to capture the bulb between his lips. Muttering curses and his name under your breath.

“Please, Y/N… I-I need you,” Hotch mumbled against your flesh. Hands trailed the waistband on your shorts.

“How do you need me?” You kissed his jawline.

“On top, please…” he trailed off. Moaning when your hand flattened against his erection. Fingers gripped around him, gently stroking his shaft. Hotch became a whimpering mess in your hand. Eyes squinted shut and mouth hanging open. You led him back against your bed step-by-step. Back of his knees buckling when they met the mattress. Resting up on his elbows to continue looking at you.

Thumbs tugged at your waist, pulling down your shorts and panties. Causing Hotch’s breath to tighten in his throat. Seeing you in your full nudity leading to his clothes feeling obscenely tight. Practically ripping his shirt from his chest.

Kneeling down before him. Hotch’s bare chest heaved. Melting expression stirring around your stomach, finding itself nestling between your legs. Manicured fingertips played at his waistband. Hotch craned his neck back, adoring the feeling of your hands on him. Steadily, shaking hands pulled his joggers down his legs. Revealing the outline of his erection in his boxer-briefs. Mouth watering sight before you.

"Oh, God, please," Hotch begged with a broken voice. Your lips kissed against his stomach directly above his underwear. Traveling down to be kissing the length of his shaft. Hatch's legs bounced with anticipation. Finally, you removed his underwear from his body. Cock bouncing free. Thick and swollen, with a drop of pre-cum decorating the head. Throwing his boxer-briefs somewhere on the floor as you straddled his waist. Passionate hands dug into your waist. Completely slack jawed as he took in every inch of you.

"Y-You... you're incredible," Hotch breathed out, eyes finding their place in yours again. Shining in the moonlight that beamed in through your barely opened curtain. Your cheeks burned at his compliment. Unable to deny the full faced smile that overtook you. Blushing at his soft expression.

You hovered directly over his cock. Nose to nose with your boss. Kissing him again before resting your hips against his. Cock gliding through your slick folds as you capture it between your bodies. Hotch moaned at the feeling of your warmth, "Oh, Y/N."

You grinded down on him, lathering his member with your arousal. Shaky gasps escaped him with each move of your hips. "Please, please," Hotch stammered with squinted eyes, "I need to be inside you, now."

Hand lined him up with your entrance. Sinking down slowly as to adjust to his girth. Your face contorted in pleasure at the feeling of him stretching you. Calling out his name when you were flush against his body. Large, brown eyes stared up at you. Face flushed and agape as he watched you rise and fall onto his cock again. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you found a perfect rhythm. Chanting his name over and over again as you rode him.

Hotch's hands grasped under your thighs, helping you get higher off him. Sloppy sounds filled your silent bedroom. Mixed in with the grunts and moans that escaped you and Hotch. Sound of slapping skin rang in your ears.

"Perfect," Hotch sighed breathlessly, finally relaxing his neck and head onto the mattress. Your nails dug into his chest, arching your hips to allow him deeper inside you. Panting as you hopped up and down. Lost with how perfectly his cock hit every spot inside you. Running your hand down the front of yourself, fingers finding your sensitive clit. Circling it.

"Aaron," you whined when he hit that spongy spot deep inside that had electricity shooting through your nerves.

"I love when you say my name," Hotch grunted. Your insides constricted with his deep, sultry voice. Causing him to rut his hips upward, chasing the feeling.

And you swear you had never had someone this good. As if his cock had been made perfectly for you. Almost like Hotch already knew your body. Knew how to make it feel good and how to get you there. He had you seeing stars.

"Can I cum inside you?"

His shaken voice pleaded. Feeling himself twitch and grow more sensitive knowing his end was approaching. Not wanting to lose the sensation of you wrapped around him.

"Please, Y/N."

You nodded viciously. Feeling your own orgasm preparing to wash over you as the familiar tightening in your stomach returned. Bottoms of your feet tingled with heat as you moaned above him. Looking down to see his puppy dog eyes doeing up at you. As if he had never seen anything as beautiful as you in his life. Admiring every single piece of you. Never wanting to leave you.

A few more swirls of your fingers had your insides clamping around Hotch. You fell forward, holding onto him for support as you shook. Moaning into his ear, his name a mantra from your tongue. He held you tight against him, bottoming out inside you as you finished around him. "So good," he praised into your ears.

Hotch continued the movements you had been doing. Thrusting his hips up into you, clearly chasing his own high now. Forcing a squeaky whine with each snap of his hips. Strong fingers dug into your back as kept you flush to his chest. Angled hips causing your sensitive cunt to spasm. Few more before he was shooting up into you. Filling you to the hilt with his seed, keeping his hips firmly pressed into yours. Trembling as he finished.

Lying in silence other than both of your panting. Refusing to move from the position you were in. Cock halfway softening inside you. Your nose was tucked into the crook of his neck. His hands gently rubbed up your back. Enjoying the feeling of your bodies still tangled together. Hearts beating in sync. Minds consumed by thoughts of the other. The world fading around you.

Hotch planted a kiss on the side of your head. Causing you to lean up and look at him. Being greeted with a smile that caused you to blush. Somehow still making you feel flustered even after fucking you. As if you were not lying completely nude against him. Nestling your face back into his neck to hide your heated cheeks. Hotch chuckled at your embarrassment.

"Thank you," Hotch broke the silence.

"You don't have to thank me," you smiled against his skin.

Hotch hummed in response.

You remained like this for several minutes. Drifting off, the late hours catching up with you.

"Let's get under the blanket," you shivered with the chill of the room hitting your warm skin.

"Don't wanna move," Hotch's sleepy tone made your stomach do a flip.

"Come on," you pushed yourself up. Causing his member to slip out of you. The two of you wincing at the sensation. Hotch groaned at the lost of your body heat. Reaching up for you as you crawled up to the pillows. Finally rolling to meet you under the blanket. Nestling under the bedding together.

Hotch wrapped his arms around you. Getting as close to you as possible. Engulfing you in his warmth. You wrapped your own arms around him. Limbs tangling together as you found a comfortable position together.

You felt yourself falling asleep in his comfort. Hoping that in the morning this would all be a happy memory you shared. Begging for him to still want you by daybreak.

~~~

[END]

// Thank you so much for reading! You all have been nothing less than wonderful ever since I started writing for Hotch. I really love seeing all the comments and reposts, you guys mean the world to me! As always, my inbox is always open and if you want to be tagged in the future let me know! //

{tags}

@mrs-ssa-hotch ~ @bondwithme-murderstyle ~ @cherriready ~ @khxna ~ @megangovier ~ @justyourusualash ~ @boybandbaby ~ @hoffmanfan13 ~

[simpjaes]

you need to continue that jayhoon for my mental sanity PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

continuation of this. or, the one where Jay really wants to bottom for sunghoon since he can never find a girl, so...he does.

Warnings: they fuck this time, as in, dude on dude. cock in butt. anal sex. two dicks in the frame.

IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH SHIP FICS OR MXM THAT'S FINE. Don't hate on me because i like to have fun with fiction. none of this is real, and no, i don't ship them in real life.

-

Sunghoon's knees press into the bed as he perches himself above his friend. Never has he seen Jay from this angle, nor has he even seen him this vulnerable, this naked, this...sexy. He stares down at his cock in hand, aimed right at Jay's ass and bites the inside of his cheek. Finally, he's getting to fuck something. Someone. And he doesn't find himself disappointed that the person is not a woman. Instead, he's...excited?

Jay's voice rings out in heavy breaths, wiggling his ass in front of Sunghoon, furrowing his brows, huffing and puffing out of frustration. "Are you gonna-" He starts, but inhales mid-sentence at the feeling of his friend's bulbous cockhead pressing at his entrance. God, Jay has fucking dreamed of this day. Especially after always watching Sunghoon wander around with that huge fucking cock of his, heavy, always yearning to be inside of someone.

There's a pit somewhere in his stomach about the consequences of this. Taking advantage of Sunghoon's need to fuck is one thing, but it's not like Jay did anything other than offer himself up as a fuck-doll. Doing this, at the end of the day, was Sunghoon's own choice. And if Jay's the one who ends up hurting at the end of it, in more way than just one, so fucking be it. "Jesu- fuck. Jay," Sunghoon seethes in near amazement, holding his breath at how he tries to push his cock inside. There was prep, of course, albeit by Jay himself as Sunghoon watched and took mental notes. Right there on the bed, Jay had bent over shyly, licking and sucking on his fingers just to slide them inside of himself. On fucking display. Sunghoon was surprised his cock didn't soften at the image of his own friend doing this. The same friend who did gross manly things around him. The same one who always looks and acts like a fucking slob when he's comfortable. Sunghoon watched as Jay's cock grew harder with each slide of his own fingers too, and that...was very attractive to him. Such a clean looking hole Jay has, warm and pulsing around his fingers, as wet as any pussy would be if Sunghoon ever managed to land one to fuck. And his cock, equally as clean, thick, pulsing just like his own was. Sunghoon wasn't sure what it was about all of this that made him feel like he's going insane, but he also didn't really care. It's that fact that now...he's feeling fucking floored. "It's so, so tight." Sunghoon finally finishes his sentence, jerking his hips to try and stuff another half-inch of his length inside of his friend. "Doesn't it hurt?" Jay just moans in response, his ass clenching with each push, but he relishes in the stretch as always. Given, this is also the first time he's ever actually bottomed for a man. Which, that's not something Sunghoon has to know unless, well, he asks. Truly, as a bisexual man, Jay always found himself on top but wondering how good it must feel to get fucked open by a sexy, well-hung man. He's played with himself and toys alike countless times wondering how good it must be to have something warm, something pulsing inside of him. And now, he's getting to experience it. Does it hurt? Yes. "Deeper." Jay mutters, pressing himself back and forcing more into himself, listening closely to the way Sunghoon keeps holding his breath, struggling to hold in his moans. And by the time he's finally bottomed out, Jay is entirely cross-eyed, much like Sunghoon who sits in place and doesn't dare move out of fear that he'll not only hurt his friend, but himself with how fucking tight Jay is. It's kind of...heavenly. Divine, in a way, to fuck your best friend's ass open solely because both of you needed something the other could offer. Sunghoon finds himself smirking now, staring at the back of Jay's head and wanting to reach forward and grab a handful of hair. If just to hear him release those slutty moans again, if just to know that Jay wants him like this. That he doesn't feel weird, or awkward. That Sunghoon's cock feels so good in him, that he will be his bitch of a girlfriend is he so wanted him to be. "I can't get any deeper, Jay." Sunghoon mutters, doing just as he pleases and absolutely grabbing a handful of his hair, craning Jay's neck back and forcing him to make strained eye contact. "You know I'm never gonna look at you the same way again, right?" He adds now, pulling his hips back slightly to test the pain of it, only to shiver in pleasure and slam his cock back in.

What shocks Sunghoon more than Jay's feminine and stuttered moan at that, well, is the fact that it's making him forget that they're both still men. They both still have strength that rivals the other, so upon that first harsh thrust, feeling Jay press himself up, twisting himself just enough to brush his lips against Sunghoon's chin-

Yeah. It's a little shocking that Sunghoon finds himself dipping his head, kissing Jay for the first time, fucking him for the first time, entirely enamored with what he has to offer. And that's how it goes, he supposes. Fucking into Jay like he would anyone else, only feeling the tight heat strangle his cock more than any cunt could. It gets to the point where Sunghoon feels his brain hit a wall, wanting the man under him so fucking badly. To the point he wants the eye contact, he wants to fucking see how Jay takes it. He flips them over, now lying flat on his back with a deep rumbled moan.

"Can you ride?" Sunghoon nearly sputters, feeling the way Jay bounces immediately as if to prove a point. His hair falling in his eyes with each bounce, mouth slack as he huffs out little groans and high pitched breaths. Goddamn. He can ride.

[salemlunaa]

what the hell is up with you guys?

no seriously what is you guys’ problem?!?!

so i was scrolling thru my timeline and i come across this stupid post this stupid post which was an a adjacent to this other stupid idea this person decided to tag me and a bunch of other bloggers including my lovely moots accusing us of being selfish for not inducing pure consciousness for others

if you think the void is so hard you can’t do it yourself, you don’t understand what it is and i’m not saying that to be mean.

their idea is that: we should join a pact and “step up” to induce pure consciousness for others

RESPONSE: do you know how this works, i physically can not induce pure consciousness for someone else because i will go to a different timeline. “I have seen success stories where people manifest for others” false. idc what you saw. You can’t have someone else include the “I AM” state for you. Why do you think it’s called that. It’s a state of consciousness where YOU can step into a state where time and the 3D do not exist which is why it’s personal to you.

The void pact can not exist, because there is no such thing as entering the “I AM” state for someone else, you shift to a different timeline as your desires come into fruition in the 3D. The void pact cannot exist because you physically cannot bring everyone into the timeline with you.

a stupid comment i saw under that post: i agree, these bloggers need to understand how hard it is for us with circumstances

RESPONSE: fuck you, no seriously fuck you. do you realise you are not the only one with shitty circumstances, we try and tell you that circumstances don’t matter because they aren’t real along with time and you still aren’t getting it. There are people with horrible circumstances taht have done it.

if you keep focused on time and the 3d you will NEVER progress.

if you had the assumption that’s it’s so hard you need other people to help, that is what will stick

It’s effort not hard, if you can’t understand that you’ll never progress. Instead of spending time to reprogram your mindset and apply, you’re spending time doing this?? “but i’m trying and it just doesn’t work” then you’re wavering not actually doing anything. learn. the. difference. Instead of spending time ignoring the 3D and indulging in the facts that you’re a void master in your 4D you’re doing this?

You are not special, you are not exempt from inducing pure consciousness, you have all the information on here and you’re still demanding to have shit done for you.

If you think the void needs effort, you don’t understand. If you’ve been “trying” and failing you don’t understand. If you’ve think that someone can do it for you, you don’t understand

if you don’t get it you’ll NEVER have progress.

˚. 𖦹 ⌨️ .ೄྀ ∘˚

And you wonder why so many bloggers are upping and leaving. How entitled do you have to be, you are getting this information for FREE, information that so many others don’t have access to and you’re using the platform to beg demand that others induce for you.

I try to be patient with those who still ask the same questions over and over and over but this is too much, you losers are seriously asking us bloggers not to be selfish and do it for you. Something that takes no effort.

yall made me hop out of an impromptu break for this dumb shit. but i have to warn you don’t not follow these entitled people. it will get you no where and it will show when it’s 2028 and they’re still asking bloggers not to be “selfish” and help out. do not follow this foolish shit i’m begging.

and before you call me rude, i’ve had patience with so many of you. but then again some of you are allergic to anything but coddling so i’ll take those comments with a pinch of salt

ONLY YOU can induce pure consciousness, ONLY YOU can be “I AM”, it can’t be done for you why do you think it’s called “I AM”. ONLY YOU can have your desires and YOU DO HAVE THEM ALREADY.

This mindset will have you here until 2030. And honestly i’m not mad about that.

@void1finder here’s your answer boo

[ann-admirer]

My vanilla girlfriends

My girlfriends give me so much. As I say in my pinned post, I couldn't live without them. My Man is far and away the most important relationship in my life, but I need the female touch and embrace and emotional environment, with all its immediacy and spontaneity (when it's just between females). Earlier, in my twenties, before I met my Man, I lived with a man for a couple of years and during this time I had to hide these relationships, and I couldn't end them either. Never again, I said.

The thing about pics of two girls together like this, whether you're lesbian or bisexual, like me, is that the pics are always realistic, it seems to me. They are real. I look at them and say oh yeah, that's what it's like, I remember doing that, I remember that feeling.

The sex with my gfs, unlike sex with my Man, is 99% vanilla sex. A mix of tender, affectionate, intense, needy, and full of girl smells. By "girl smells" I mean the mix of perfume, shoes that are new, the taste of lipstick, my nose in her hair and whatever products she uses, and so many more girl smells. We say "I love you" easily and mean it, and it is true love, if perhaps a different category of true love. A special love. I hope you can detect how I feel about this side of my life.

[suiana]

Yandere british policeman but its just this https://pin.it/713T0xSDg

(yandere! british policeman x gn! reader) (idk why you want a british man in particular but you know what it's fine) (it could've been worse, like a french man /j)

"right love, gonna need you to open the door and talk to me."

you merely stare at this... random ass man through your peephole. who the hell does this guy think he is? this is the fourth day in a row that he's showed up at your doorstep! for four days, he's delibrately taken time out of his day to show up in front of your door!

hell, he's been following you since way before! trying to pull you over on the road, yelling something about 'pulling over' or telling you to 'freeze'... you suspect it's been about a few months since this random man started showing up in your life like a damn pest.

who the hell even does that?

"go away!"

yeah nah, you're not going to let him in. no way in HELL. plus, he always shows up wearing that same weird outfit! when you first confronted him, he said he was some sort of... officer? and that what he was wearing was a uniform?

hah! imagine having to wear a uniform. he really is just a young chap playing a prank on you. how annoying, that's why you haven't opened the door for him no matter how long he spends knocking away. let him knock, maybe he'll finally get the hint and leave you alone.

"i'm going to have to break down your door if you don't open it, love. you're a person of interest in a really serious crime, you know. it'll be better if you just cooperate with us."

and there he goes again. again with his rambling and nonsense talk of breaking down your door. does he really think he has the authority to do that? nah, you'll just call the police if he does! they'll deal with him like they should!

in fact, you think you'll call the police now! have this guy arrested for harrassing you non-stop!

"if you don't leave, i'll call the police!"

silence.

"so you're scared huh? i knew it! you're just a loser-"

"darling, i am the police."

and then all of a sudden, your door fails to function properly and just falls to the floor, the hinges unhinging on itself. your jaw drops as you face the tall policeman, your eyes wide. but before you could say anything else, he starts talking about his nonsense police stuff again.

"sweetheart i'm putting you under arrest as the prime suspect of a hit and run. please turn around and put your hands against the wall."

"hey wait just a second! i never hit anybody!"

despite your protests, you couldn't really fight against the guy. not when he completely dwarfed you. not when he had huge hands and big pectoral muscles... and that ass in those tight pants... and just seeing him in his uniform... you wonder what would happen if you smacked his ass...?

but back to the problem. hit and run? bro you don't even drive! how could you be a prime suspect of a hit and run? there was only one answer.

"you're a fraud! no way a guy like you is an actual officer! i demand you let go of me until a real-"

then he pulls out an authentic looking police badge and license. no way, he was real? but... but you didn't commit a hit and run! how could this be happening?! no, no, no! get these unsexy handcuffs off!

"you're coming back with me. gonna have to discipline a criminal like you the hard way. not letting me in for four days? tsk tsk, i am so very disappointed in you, love."

wait a second!

just wait a second!

why the heck was he dragging you into a real police car?! no way! this is some big shit! you can't believe this is happening!

"come on dude! you can't seriously be-"

"yeah, you didn't actually commit any crime. i'm just using it as an excuse to bring you back to my home where i can love and adore you."

HUH????

[thewidowsledger]

Fallen Demon

© thewidowsledger - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Pairings: Demon!Natasha Romanoff x Summoner!Female Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Tags | Warnings: ANGST, bullying, FLUFF happy ending please trust me, this is my 'I lied put your clothes back on' trend entry

Author's Note: I honestly didn't feel satisfied with the first one I wrote since it was a rush, and I felt like I didn't give justice to the request of 🍠 this was still a rush since I wrote it in a 6-hours bus ride👉👈 but it came out the way I wanted to be and I hope y'all will like it as well. The real reason I wrote this is because of Hozier's DIWK cover, fudge I need it tattooed with every fiber of my being!

Navigation | Masterlist | Part 1

⧗

"I had to, and you must say it."

"No, no, please I can't. I cannot."

"Princess, please," Natasha pleaded, desperation lacing her voice as she called out to you. She never kneeled before altars nor had prayed to Gods, but never had she felt this urge, this need to be understood, to be heard, by a mere human.

⧗

A deep, foreboding sigh escaped her lips as she stood before the ritual circle, the symbols of summoning etched into the floor.

"How foolish," she muttered to himself, "to bind oneself to such a malevolent force once more." Then, she turned around to see you, kneeling on the floor.

Her smirk faltered as she beheld your naked body stiffed on the cold stone floor, head bowed submissively. The portal pulsed with an eerie light, casting long shadows across your trembling silhouette. Her eyes narrowed, curiosity and concern warring in their obsidian depths.

"To…what do I owe the pleasure, princess?"

You slowly looked at her, the fire burning in her eyes was washed with the tears that you had in yours.

"C-can you say I'm beautiful?"

With a wry chuckle that seemed too old for her youthful visage, she stepped closer, her bare feet silent on the stone floor. "Princess, your request is as intriguing as it is foolish. Summoning a demon for mere sweet words? Truly, the lengths humans go to…"

You felt a strange warmth of shame spread through your chest as you bobbed your throat, you forced yourself not to let any tear slide down from your eyes.

Her powerful form seemed to shrink as she saw the memories in your eyes. The laughter, the whispers, the isolation. You being called names, you eating in a comfort cubicle and you crying for being locked inside it.

I hate myself.

She heard it, she heard your thoughts. Her eyebrows furrowed as she suddenly grasped the depth of your despair, your self-loathing thoughts echoing loudly in the silence between you. She clenched her jaw but it cracked, giving way to a softer expression.

Summoning a demon for a mere compliment, trading your body, having your soul sucked for words. It was indeed stupid. Desperate. Foolish. Absur—

"Stop those thoughts of yours, princess. They're too loud and not good for someone like you." Her voice had an unexpected caring tone that made you hitch your breath. "Dress yourself, I don't want you catching a cold."

She watched as you scrambled to gather the folded clothes, her supernatural grace contrasting sharply with your human clumsiness. Her observant gaze fell upon the bruises marring your skin and the gum stuck in your hair.

She really tried her hardest not to take you from there.

Her eyes roamed over your improved appearance, a glimmer of approval in her gaze. "Much better," she acknowledged with a nod. "I like the shirt but it is practically a dress on you. Are you auditioning for a role in a horror film?"

You let out a giggle and the sound was music to her ears. "It's all I got, everything's in the laundry." You spoke shyly, tucking a hair behind your ear.

Then, her gaze drifted around your small room, taking in the cramped space with a hint of disdain. "Your room is...cozy," she commented, her tone laced with sarcasm. "I've slept in closets larger than this."

You laughed again, hell, she would thank Jesus for that laugh.

"It's my apartment," you started, "the one you've been to before was my bestfriend's house which was miles away."

"The witch's house," she muttered and you nodded, her lip curling slightly as she remembered the eerie atmosphere of the place. "No wonder it felt...off whenever I was there. It reeked of herbs and spell components. Anyway, has she noticed anything unusual about her beloved houseplant yet?"

Well, the plant was still the same, and your bestfriend hasn't noticed anything when she came back, only your disheveled state and the eerie vibes she said your aura is giving during that day. And she, in fact, did a cleansing ritual on you while you were asleep, you were grateful to still woke up but choking with the smell of her cleansing stick candles and her muttering some gibberish witch prayers you god knows what.

"It's still okay, don't worry." You offered her a reassuring smile as you sat on your bed looking up at her huge form, she is literally having a hard time leaning down since height is much higher than your ceiling. "We can sit on the floor." You said, and then you moved to an indian sit form.

She then hesitantly copied your movements, her big legs folding between each other. "Don't be so sure about that, witches have really strong senses and intuition." She groaned as she finally sat across you, the ritual circle between you both.

"You're being bullied, aren't you?" The accusation hung heavy in the air.

Her gaze narrowed as she studied your face, taking in the faint bruises that are now hidden in your big shirt, the slight limp in your step, the way you always seemed to be on edge. And then a wad of gum stuck to your hair, a cruel prank meant to humiliate you.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back tears. Your head was ducked, hiding your face behind a curtain of hair as you stared at your crossed thighs. The silence was deafening, broken only by the soft sniffles you were trying desperately to suppress. You then slowly nodded and removed your eyeglasses to messily wipe your tears.

Your parents decided to send you abroad to study, and you were utterly culture shocked by the prevalence of bullying. You hadn't expected that the portrayal of bullying from the movie and series you watched in high school was actually reflecting reality. What's worse is you didn't see that it would happen to you. From being homeschooled to having to go abroad to study, it was the most difficult thing. You only had one friend, Wanda, and she is not here to comfort or protect you the way she did when you were just kids. Wanda had even told you to get the used tissue or get a strand of hair from your bullies and have it sent to her so she could handle the business, but you would just laugh at your witch friend during call with your swollen eyes and reassure her that you could handle it on your own and toughen up.

You are grown now and you told yourself that eventually you need to protect yourself from others, you cannot rely on your family or Wanda in your entire life. But the thought of standing up for yourself felt impossible. All you longed for was someone to step in and put an end to the torment, and you had no idea how to protect yourself from others when you were so worn down by it all.

"You could've asked me to return the favor to your bullies…" she spoke carefully but with a little bit of threat.

Now, you shook your head side by side. "Aren't you supposed to be enjoying this?" you asked, your voice trembling as tears welled up in your eyes. "I mean, you're a demon. Shouldn't you be relishing in my pain and suffering? You should be enjoying people doing cruelty to others. That's how you feed yourselves, with the sin of mankind."

"Princess," she sighed deeply, like she is disappointed but she is. "Is that why you were naked earlier? You ask something of me and I…take you in return so you just prepared yourself right away?"

Her gaze burned to you as well as the shame burning like a hot iron in your skin.

"It's not that I, as a demon, necessarily enjoy your pain and suffering for my own sake."

She took a moment to compose herself before continuing, carefully choosing her words to ensure you would understand. As she spoke, you drew your knees up inside the oversized shirt you were wearing, making yourself smaller and more vulnerable as you listened intently.

"You see," she began, her voice soft but firm, "I…I was born this way. I was born a demon, and my purpose is to be a punisher of those who have done wrong."

As soon as the words left her lips, she paused, studying your expression to see how you were processing what she had just said and to make sure you're not uncomfortable about it. Then, she continued, "I don't feed myself with sinful acts or relish in anyone's suffering, princess. Instead, I feed on those who have made…contracts with me. That's how I sustain myself. That doesn't mean I am delighted to do it."

"Hey," you crawled and sat right in front of her, your knees touching hers. "You may be a demon but you're not evil. I know that."

The demon's mouth was wide open as she stared at you in disbelief. Your words had struck a chord within her, leaving her stunned and speechless. She had never encountered a human who saw past her demonic nature, let alone voiced their belief aloud so confidently.

"Do I make you suffer?"

"What? No."

"No, when I come to visit you whenever for…for the contract. Do you feel pain whenever I…whenever I…take you?" The demon never stuttered not until this day.

You reached her face and caressed your thumb on her cheeks, "No." It was just one word but you hope it was enough to reassure the burning demon.

She doesn't take joy in sin. Especially not yours, she would punish herself for it. Her purpose is to punish those who commit it and feed herself with those who willingly and mistakenly entered into contracts with her by taking pieces of their souls. You were binded with her and she had come and taken you twelve times as you can remember. And now, you summoned her once again, making it more difficult for either of you to break the bound unless for one thing.

The demon couldn't deny it anymore, she had grown…attached to you, even though she tried to keep her emotions in check. She cannot help but notice how your laughter and hums had filled her with an unfamiliar sense of warmth. How you had clung to her after she had just ripped your innocence bit by bit and pounded a piece of your soul out of you, and after, you would still be asking when she would come back. That's why she would painfully leave as soon as your eyes had fluttered shut as you drifted off to sleep so she wouldn't have to deal with your questioning right after you wake up.

She had taken a piece of your innocence and soul, yet the purity and naivety in your eyes remained intact. This world is too brutal and cruel for someone as precious as you, and all she longed to do was shield you from its harshness.

But a demon couldn't. You are wrong, she was evil—she is evil—her very nature is inherently evil. She was consuming you bit by bit, feeding herself with your soul leaving you weak. She was the very threat she sought to safeguard you against.

She was never terrified of anything or any Gods, not until she thought how your laughter would not bring warmth the hell couldn't bring her. She was horrified at the idea of taking so much of your soul that your laughter would no longer bring the same joy and comfort.

She has to protect you from her, from consuming you more until there is nothing left from you.

She will not be the reason you will lose that light.

"My name's Natasha." The demon spoke after the long silence and staring.

You frowned and quickly rose to your feet, "No, no," Natasha watched you paced back and forth to your apartment. "Why did you tell me your name?!" You shouted, the tears are already falling down the ritual circle beneath you. "Why?!"

"I had to, and you must say it."

"No, no, please I can't. I cannot."

"Princess, please," Natasha pleaded, desperation lacing her voice as she called out to you. She never kneeled before altars nor had prayed to Gods, but never had she felt this urge, this need to be understood, to be heard, by a mere human.

"No! Fireball, that's your name! That's what we agreed upon on what I'll call you!" You shut your eyes in denial, that was the silly nickname you gave her since she didn't want to give her name when you first summoned her. At first you were determined to know it so you would break the contract, but as soon as her visitation became more frequent, that mission was long forgotten.

"Why?!" her demon voice thundered through the room, it was the first time you heard her voice like that again, and you swear you feel like the whole building felt it. "Every human I've ever bound would go to lengths just to know my name, just to break away from me!" She roared, her eyes blazing with demonic fire. "Why?! Wouldn't you say it?!"

"Because I love you, Natasha! I love you!"

Her eyes widening as she stared at you, the demonic fire in his eyes flickering in shock. She blinked, once, twice, trying to process the words that had just escaped your lips.

"I never liked my name not until I heard you say it." She spoke with a solemn smile.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized what you just did, you frantically dropped to your knees before her. "No!" you exclaimed, your voice breaking with desperation as you reached out to cup her face in your hands. "Please, I take it back! I take it back!" you pleaded, your heart aching with regret.

"Hey, it's okay." Natasha's hand moved to gently hold your right hand that is on her face. "But that's not how it works, princess."

Demons are said to be creatures of fire and brimstone, devoid of human emotions and incapable of shedding tears. But tears streamed down her burning eyes, their tracks visible on her smooth skin.

Your breath caught in your throat as you watched her begin to glow, a faint, otherworldly light emanating from her form. You are helpless, unable to utter anything but the anguished plea of 'no's' as it left your lips on repeat.

"N-no…" Your body trembled, your tears streaming down your face as you shook your head sideways, then, you put the side of your head into her chest as if you're trying to hear her heartbeat, "No, please," you repeated once again, your voice choked with emotion. "I didn't mean to say it. I can't lose you, please."

You want to be with her, even if the means is her consuming you inch by inch, even if you're going to feel every bits of it.

"Please, say my name one more time. I like hearing you say it." Holding back tears, you shook your head defiantly, burying your face against her chest. Slowly, you looked up into her eyes, a broken, tear-stained mess.

You would meet the ends of hell to be with her.

Tenderly, Natasha reached out to touch your face, her touch gentle and warm. Her fingers grazed your skin as she softly cupped your cheeks, her eyes locking onto yours. A small, bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she gently caressed your face with her thumb.

"I didn't know what I did for God to bring you to me. But I would thank Him profoundly," she whispered, her words quivering slightly. "For you are an angel sent from heaven, a beautiful, unexpected gift. One that is unworthy of a demon."

You would beg God to be with her.

Your lips quivered, you shook your head once more, slowly and deliberately, as if trying to reject the reality unfolding before your eyes.

"I've never been to heavens not until I met you, Natasha..."

"I love you, Y/N. Know that our love will bind us together, always. So long, princess."

The knock at your door jerked you out of your dazed state, suddenly jolting you back to reality. You blinked, bewildered and disoriented, trying to make sense of the jumble of confusing emotions and disjointed memories swirling in your mind and in front of you. You couldn't recall what had happened, why there was a ritual circle beneath where you were kneeling, or why you were a sobbing mess, repeating a name that was now lost in your tongue.

"Hey! Are you okay there?!"

⧗

The senior night was in full swing, students were dancing and having a great time. But there you were slumped in your chair. You just didn't have the energy to get up and dance.

Some of your classmates came to ask if you wanted to dance, but you politely turned them down. You watched as everyone else seemed to be having the time of their lives. You tugged at the fabric, trying to get it to sit right on your shoulders. You fidgeted with the lace trim around the neckline, running your fingers over the delicate design. The more you fiddled with it, the more you began to realize how uncomfortable the gown truly was.

As you were messing with your gown, a voice suddenly spoke up next to you. "Hey, did you hear about Tracy?" asked your classmate Darcy as she took the seat beside you. "The one that sticked a juicyfruit in your hair in 2nd year?"

You looked up at Darcy, a deep sigh escaping your lips, "Yeah, it's not exactly something I want to remember. Cutting my hair shorter than I wanted wasn't fun."

Then Darcy said with a grin, "Well? That bitch wasn't here at the party because someone shaved her hair off during a sorority sleepover."

Your eyes widened in shock as you turned your full attention to her. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "You're kidding, right?" you asked in not wanting to believe it. "But she's the president."

Darcy nodded her head eagerly, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "It's true, eyebrows included too,' she said between laughs, clearly enjoying the shock on your face. "And, and, and remember Aris, the guy that sparred with you in gym class even though you told him you were just a yellow belt and he's a black belt? And you were almost sent to the hospital?"

"Yeah..?" Now that's a core memory of yours that you could only cringe when you remember it on a sunny day.

"Asshole lost his national tournament and he got injured for life after his sparring with the freshie transferee."

"Freshie transferee?" you dumbfoundedly asked.

"Yeah," Darcy nodded, trying to be demure once again after she just unleashed a not-so-very demure laugh. "So yeah…I'm just here to deliver that information, I feel like you have a right to since those fuckers did you wrong back then."

"Please have fun, Y/N, c'mon!" Darcy shouted as she was practically being dragged to the dancefloor by her date, Jimmy.

You sat frozen in your chair, your mouth hanging open in complete shock at what she had just revealed to you. Those two left a scar on you that is still healing up to this day, but still, after hearing what happened to them, you felt bad.

After a few moments, you shook your head, realizing that you needed to get out of there. The room was starting to feel stuffy and suffocating. You stood up from your chair and made your way toward the door, knowing that some fresh air would do you good.

The cool night air was refreshing as you stepped outside, and you took a deep breath, appreciating the moment of solitude.

But then a voice broke through the silence, "This party was a mess, huh?"

There was something about the voice that sounded oddly familiar to you. It was as if you had heard it before, but you couldn't quite place it. But still, you continued standing with your back to the stranger, not feeling the need to turn and address whoever they are. You simply minded your own business, enjoying your fresh air.

"I like your gown."

You were in the middle of rolling your eyes in annoyance, prepared to tell whoever was trying to talk to you to leave you alone. But as soon as you caught sight of the fiery haired girl wearing a suit, you felt intimidated and her face seemed incredibly familiar to you, and your initial reaction was to squint to try and place where you had seen her before.

"T-thanks," you replied, your cheeks burning up.

"Got a name?"

You managed to stammer out a response. "I uhm...it's Y/N," you said, feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Beautiful." She said before slowly walking towards you. "They call me freshie transferee which is so lame by the way."

"Wait…so you're—"

"My name's Natasha."

"Natasha…" you couldn't help but repeat her name softly, feeling a sense of familiarity in the way it rolled off your tongue. You swore to yourself, you have uttered the name before in so many ways.

Then, suddenly, her hand gently touched your face, causing you to snap back to reality. You locked eyes with her fiery gaze.

"You are as beautiful as the day I lost you."

[buzzinrusso]

Disapproved love

You sat in the car outside the stadium, the keys dangling limply from the ignition. The hum of the world outside—distant chatter, the occasional roar of a car engine—felt muted, like it wasn’t real. Patri was inside with her teammates, probably laughing and joking about the game like they always did.

You wished you could be part of that world, but you knew better.

It wasn’t that you hadn’t tried. You’d spent months showing up to their dinners, cheering at their matches, and doing everything you could to blend in. But no matter what you did, you always felt like an outsider. Like you weren’t enough.

You reached into your bag and pulled out your sketchbook, flipping to the page where you’d drawn your latest Caitlyn cosplay design. The character had always been one of your favorites—strong, intelligent, and fiercely loyal. Everything you wanted to be but didn’t feel like.

Lately, even your cosplays couldn’t give you that spark of confidence they once did. How could they, when Patri’s teammates constantly made you feel small?

You clenched the sketchbook tighter, your chest aching with a mix of frustration and sadness. How much longer could you keep pretending it didn’t hurt?

--

It had started weeks ago, at another team dinner. You were seated beside Patri, the table filled with laughter and conversation. You’d thought, for once, that the evening was going well.

Then Claudia spoke.

“So, y/n,” she said, her tone sugary sweet in a way that set your nerves on edge. “How’s the... dress-up business going?”

You froze, heat creeping up your neck. “It’s not dress-up. I’m a cosplayer. I design and make costumes based on characters from games and shows.”

“Oh, right,” Claudia said, smirking. “And people actually pay you for that?”

“Claudia,” Patri warned, her voice low.

“What?” Claudia said, feigning innocence. “I’m just curious. It’s not exactly a real job, is it?”

Your stomach churned. You opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat.

“well, she works harder than most people I know,” Patri said, her jaw tight.

“Relax, Pat,” Mapi said, waving a hand dismissively. “She knows we’re joking.”

But they weren’t. You could feel the weight of their judgment pressing down on you, stealing the air from your lungs.

That night, you cried in the shower, letting the water mask your tears. Patri had held you afterward, whispering reassurances, but the damage was already done.

Another situation that made you feel bad was one night at a post match party / dinner.

It started as a faint unease. At first, you told yourself you were imagining things. Patri’s teammates weren’t outright rude; they never said anything overtly cruel to your face. But their disinterest in you was palpable, like an invisible wall you couldn’t break through no matter how hard you tried.

You began to notice the subtle ways they excluded you. At team dinners, the conversations would shift to inside jokes and stories you weren’t a part of. When you tried to contribute, they’d either politely nod or continue talking as if you hadn’t spoken.

Once, at a post-match party, you’d decided to wear one of your more subtle cosplay-inspired outfits. It was a casual homage to one of Caitlyn’s looks—just a hat, a sleek blazer, and a few accessories that hinted at the character without being over the top. You’d hoped it might spark a conversation, a way to connect with them.

But when you arrived, Claudia had smirked and whispered something to Alexia. The two of them burst into quiet laughter, their eyes darting toward you. You didn’t need to hear what they said to know it wasn’t kind.

“Nice hat,” Mapi had commented later, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

You forced a smile. “Thanks. It’s inspired by Caitlyn from Arcane.”

“Right,” Mapi said, raising an eyebrow. “The cartoon cop.”

“It’s not a cartoon,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “It’s an animated series with complex characters and a really compelling story.”

But she wasn’t listening. She’d already turned back to Claudia, dismissing you with a wave of her hand.

Patri had been on the other side of the room, deep in conversation with her coach. You didn’t want to interrupt, so you swallowed the lump in your throat and found a quiet corner to sit in for the rest of the night.

---

The little moments added up, chipping away at your confidence bit by bit.

One afternoon, you arrived early to pick up Patri after practice. You parked outside the training ground, scrolling through your phone while you waited. The windows were down, and you couldn’t help but overhear the conversation happening nearby.

“I don’t get it,” Claudia was saying. “What does Patri even see in her?”

“She’s pretty,” Cata offered, though her tone wasn’t particularly kind.

“Sure, but she’s not exactly... grounded, is she?” Claudia replied. “I mean, cosplaying? Who even does that for a living?”

You gripped the steering wheel, your knuckles turning white.

“She’s so clingy,” Alexia added. “Always hanging around like she belongs here.”

“She’s a distraction,” Mapi said bluntly. “Patri could do so much better.”

You sat frozen in the car, every word sinking into your skin like tiny barbs. They hadn’t even tried to lower their voices.

---

The worst part was that you couldn’t tell Patri. Not really.

How could you bring it up without making things harder for her? She already had enough on her plate with her demanding schedule, the pressure of the sport, and the endless scrutiny that came with being a professional athlete. You didn’t want to add to that burden.

So, you kept it to yourself.

You stopped wearing cosplay-inspired outfits to team events, opting for neutral, nondescript clothes instead. You avoided lingering at practices, making sure to arrive just as Patri was finishing up so you wouldn’t have to interact with her teammates.

You even started turning down invitations to post-match dinners, claiming you were busy with work. It wasn’t entirely a lie—you were busy. But you also couldn’t bear the thought of sitting through another evening of veiled insults and cold shoulders.

Patri noticed, of course.

“Are you okay?” she asked one night as the two of you lay in bed.

“Yeah,” you said, forcing a smile. “Just tired.”

She didn’t press, but you could see the worry in her eyes. It made you feel guilty, knowing she could sense your unhappiness but not knowing how to fix it without driving a wedge between her and her team.

---

The turning point came during one of your solo convention trips. You’d traveled to a city a few hours away to debut a new Caitlyn cosplay and another cosplay that you were really well known for on social media. The event had been a success—you’d won a craftsmanship award, taken dozens of photos with fans, and even made some new connections for future commissions.

But when you returned home, your excitement quickly faded.

Patri was sitting on the couch, her phone in hand. She looked up and smiled when you walked in, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Hey,” she said. “How was the convention?”

“It was great,” you said, trying to sound upbeat. “I won an award for the Caitlyn costume.”

“That’s amazing!” she said, standing to hug you.

But you couldn’t ignore the tension in her posture or the way her smile faltered when she pulled back.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, your heart sinking.

She hesitated, her hands fidgeting at her sides. “The team said some things today. About... us.”

You swallowed hard. “What kind of things?”

“They think I’m distracted,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “That I’m not focused enough on football because of our relationship.”

Her words hit you like a punch to the gut. You opened your mouth to respond, but no sound came out.

“I told them they were wrong,” she added quickly. “But... I don’t know, y/n. Maybe they’re right.”

The admission was like a knife to the chest. For weeks, you’d been trying to shield Patri from the negativity surrounding your relationship, but now it felt like you were the one dragging her down.

“Do you really think that?” you asked, your voice trembling.

She hesitated again, and that hesitation spoke louder than any words could.

That night, as you lay in bed staring at the ceiling, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were losing her. And maybe—just maybe—it was your fault.

---

The coffee shop was warm and inviting, a stark contrast to the storm of emotions brewing inside you. You sat in a corner booth, nursing a lukewarm cappuccino as your two best friends, Jade and Anya, sat across from you. Both were fellow cosplayers and some of the few people who truly understood your world.

Jade leaned back in her chair, her vibrant pink wig catching the soft light. She was mid-way through perfecting her cosplay of Vi from Arcane and never missed an opportunity to stay in character. Anya, in contrast, was dressed casually, her blonde hair pulled back in a loose braid, but her energy was no less animated as she munched on a cookie.

“So, how’s Caitlyn coming along?” Anya asked, her tone bright.

You hesitated, twirling your spoon in the remnants of your coffee. “It’s done. I debuted it at a con last week.”

“And?” Jade pressed, her eyebrows lifting.

“I won a craftsmanship award,” you said with a faint smile.

“Hell yes, you did!” Jade cheered, clapping her hands together. “That costume is a masterpiece. You’re a genius with those details.”

“Thanks,” you said, the corners of your mouth twitching upward.

Anya narrowed her eyes, leaning forward. “Okay, what’s up? You should be glowing right now, but you look like someone just told you that jinx died.”

You sighed, your shoulders slumping. “It’s not about the cosplay. It’s... everything else.”

“Let me guess,” Jade said, crossing her arms. “The football team.”

You nodded, feeling the familiar sting of tears. “They hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” Anya said gently, though her tone wasn’t entirely convincing.

“They do,” you insisted, your voice cracking. “They think I’m a joke. They think Patri deserves someone... better.”

Jade frowned, her expression darkening. “Better? Are they blind? You’re brilliant. You run your own business, you’re insanely talented, and you’re, like, one of the nicest people I know. What more do they want?”

“They want someone who fits into their world,” you said bitterly. “Someone who understands football and doesn’t make them look bad.”

“Make them look bad?” Anya repeated, her tone sharp. “How could you possibly—”

“They don’t take cosplaying seriously,” you interrupted, your words spilling out in a rush. “They think it’s childish or silly or not a real job. And because of that, they don’t take me seriously. They think I’m distracting Patri, and they keep telling her to break up with me.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jade said, her voice rising. “That’s so messed up. Does Patri know how awful they’re being?”

“She knows,” you admitted, staring down at your coffee. “But I don’t think she knows how much it’s affecting me. And the worst part is, I feel like they’re starting to get to her.”

“What do you mean?” Anya asked, concern etched on her face.

“She said they think she’s distracted,” you said, your voice trembling. “And that maybe they’re right. I don’t know... maybe she is better off without me.”

Jade slammed her hand on the table, making the cups rattle. “No. Don’t you dare go down that road, y/n. This isn’t about you not being enough—it’s about them being insecure and narrow-minded.”

Anya reached across the table, squeezing your hand. “Patri loves you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, y/n. Don’t let them make you doubt that.”

You sniffled, trying to hold back the tears. “I just feel so... alone. I don’t belong in their world, and it’s like no matter what I do, I’ll never be good enough for them.”

“You don’t need to belong in their world,” Jade said fiercely. “You belong in your world. And if they can’t see how amazing you are, that’s their problem—not yours.”

“But what if Patri can’t keep fighting for me?” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

“She will,” Anya said with certainty. “She’s stronger than you think. And if she doesn’t fight for you, then she’s not the right one for you. But I don’t think that’s the case. She loves you, y/n. You just need to hold on and trust her.”

Jade leaned forward, her violet eyes blazing with determination. “And if those teammates of hers keep giving you grief, you let me know. I’ll show up in full Vi gear and scare the crap out of them.”

Despite yourself, you laughed. “Thanks, Jade. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Anya smiled softly. “You’re not alone, babes. You have us. And no matter what happens, we’ll always have your back.”

Their words were a balm to your wounded heart. For the first time in days, you felt a flicker of hope. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they seemed.

The comments didn’t stop after that. They just became quieter, more insidious.

“She’s so clingy,” you overheard Alexia say one evening when you arrived at the training ground to pick up Patri. “Always hanging around like a shadow.”

“She doesn’t get this life,” Cata had added. “She’s just going to hold Patri back.”

You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood, fighting the urge to storm over and defend yourself.

The worst part was that you could see how their words affected Patri. She became quieter around them whenever you were present, like she was caught in the middle of an invisible tug-of-war. And every time she chose not to speak up, it felt like another crack in your heart.

---

It all came to a head after one of Patri’s matches. The game had been brutal, and Patri was clearly frustrated as she walked toward the car. You waited for her with a tentative smile, hoping to offer some comfort.

But when she climbed into the passenger seat, her face was stormy.

“Hey,” you said softly. “Rough game?”

“Yeah,” she muttered, staring out the window.

The silence stretched between you as you drove, tension thick in the air. Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“The team thinks I’m distracted,” she said, her voice tight.

“Distracted by what?” you asked, though deep down, you already knew.

She hesitated, and that hesitation shattered you. “By me,” you whispered.

Patri sighed, rubbing her temples. “They don’t understand, Cara. They think... they think I can’t balance my career and our relationship.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your hands tightened on the steering wheel as tears blurred your vision.

“Do you think that too?” you asked, your voice trembling.

“Of course not,” she said, but her tone lacked conviction.

The doubt in her voice cut deeper than anything her teammates had ever said. You felt your chest tighten, the weight of months of judgment and insecurity threatening to crush you.

“Maybe they’re right,” you said, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “Maybe you’d be better off without me.”

“Don’t say that,” Patri said, turning to look at you.

“Why not?” you snapped, your voice cracking. “It’s what they want, isn’t it? Maybe it’s what you want too.”

“That’s not true,” Patri said, but you couldn’t bring yourself to believe her.

You pulled the car over and buried your face in your hands, finally letting the tears fall. “I can’t keep doing this, Patri. I can’t keep feeling like I’m not good enough for you.”

---

The next morning, Patri arrived at the training ground with a fire in her eyes. She found her teammates in the locker room, laughing and chatting as if nothing was wrong.

“We need to talk,” she said, her voice sharp enough to cut through the noise.

The room fell silent as they turned to look at her.

“What’s up?” Mapi asked, frowning.

“It’s about y/n,” Patri said, crossing her arms. “I know what you’ve been saying about her. I’ve heard the comments, the whispers behind her back. And it stops now.”

“Patri, come on,” Claudia said, rolling her eyes. “We’re just looking out for you.”

“Looking out for me?” Patri repeated, her voice rising. “By tearing down the person I love? By making her feel like she’s not good enough? Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt her?”

“She’s not cut out for this life,” Alexia said, her tone defensive.

“She’s cut out for more than any of you will ever understand,” Patri shot back. “Do you know how hard she works? The hours she spends perfecting every detail of her cosplays? The way she brings characters to life in a way no one else can? That takes more dedication than most people have.”

“She’s a distraction,” Claudia said stubbornly.

“No,” Patri said firmly. “She’s my anchor. And if you can’t respect her, then you don’t respect me.”

---

Later that day, you sat in your workshop, surrounded by the pieces of your many cosplays. The hat sat in your lap, its intricate embroidery, a testament to hours of painstaking work. But no matter how beautiful it was, it couldn’t fill the hollow ache inside you.

You were startled when the door opened, and Patri stepped inside.

“Hey,” she said softly, her eyes red like she’d been crying.

“Hey,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

She sat beside you, taking your hands in hers. “I talked to them.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “You did?”

“They know how wrong they were,” she said, her voice filled with conviction. “I told them that if they can’t respect you, they don’t deserve to be part of my life.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as her words sank in. “You stood up for me?”

“Of course I did,” she said, pulling you into her arms. “You’re the most important person in my life, y/n. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt that.”

For the first time in months, the weight on your chest began to lift.

---

In the weeks that followed, things started to change. Patri’s teammates made an effort to include you, to learn about your work and your passions. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.

And when you finally debuted your Caitlyn cosplay at a convention, Patri was there in the front row, cheering louder than anyone else.

As you posed for pictures, your eyes met hers, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt like you belonged

[theyjusthowl]

Yes to everything. I've gone back for my master's after a few years out of school. In a field where a master's has very little relevance unless you're going into research and academia, like none of these people did it for a higher paying job they supposedly want to learn and it's still so prevalent.

Another side effect is that not all teachers are made equal, so while some try to overcome AI usage with different teaching strategies like on-site debate, some others very candidly believe we are so prolific that they keep upping the workload because what do you know, we deliver.

Over Christmas break the two weeks of Christmas break I was expected to deliver three academic essays, a book review (have you tried to read philosophers on a tight timeline it's gruelling work) and detailed design plans for two research projects, which will be poorly graded because our teachers also had to grade about 100 papers during that time. I'm supposed to be working on my master's thesis too and at some point this year I'm going in for a three month long apprenticeship which also requires an academic report.

I'm trying. At some point it's going to become unsustainable. I'm begging. You can be mediocre and still get your degree if that's what you want or need, I promise. Just don't make it harder for those of us who are trying.

We're also based in Europe where tuition is cheap and scholarships cover most people (it covered me and I'm considered a high income household so there's that). Which makes it even worse because student debt is not a real worry. You can drop out if it's really not for you and at most you'll be out a grand or two but most likely you'll be able to get a refund for courses not taken and that'll even out the debt.

Also, AI/LLMs are absolute environmental terrorists. We can do better than this. I'm not saying be perfect, never use it for anything. I'm saying, if you feel like you absolutely need to, do it responsibly.

I just started grad school this fall after a few years away from school and man I did not realize how dire the AI/LLM situation is in universities now. In the past few weeks:

I chatted with a classmate about how it was going to be a tight timeline on a project for a programming class. He responded "Yeah, at least if we run short on time, we can just ask chatGPT to finish it for us"

One of my professors pulled up chatGPT on the screen to show us how it can sometimes do our homework problems for us and showed how she thanks it after asking it questions "in case it takes over some day."

I asked one of my TAs in a math class to explain how a piece of code he had written worked in an assignment. He looked at it for about 15 seconds then went "I don't know, ask chatGPT"

A student in my math group insisted he was right on an answer to a problem. When I asked where he got that info, he sent me a screenshot of Google gemini giving just blatantly wrong info. He still insisted he was right when I pointed this out and refused to click into any of the actual web pages.

A different student in my math class told me he pays $20 per month for the "computational" version of chatGPT, which he uses for all of his classes and PhD research. The computational version is worth it, he says, because it is wrong "less often". He uses chatGPT for all his homework and can't figure out why he's struggling on exams.

There's a lot more, but it's really making me feel crazy. Even if it was right 100% of the time, why are you paying thousands of dollars to go to school and learn if you're just going to plug everything into a computer whenever you're asked to think??

[gyaruhana]

HELLO MY DEAREST!!

May I PLEASE request headcanons for Kang Dae-Ho with preg!reader? Could be an au or not, up to you, whatever you'd prefer

My guy is UNDERRATED and I love him very much he is my husband <3

(Also could there maybe be a small portion abt the birth? If your comfortable with that only though!!)

Kang Dae-ho/Player 388 - Pregnant!reader headcannons

Synopsis: Daeho headcannons for when you're pregnant..

A/N: tried my best with this one !! hopefully it's good

Warnings: none

NOT IN THE GAMES:

➠ it's no secret that daeho is a total sweetheart

➠ got super excited the moment you found out you were pregnant

➠ secretly wants a girl (it's not a secret)

➠ absolutely talks to your stomach all the time

➠ Like he'll just randomly kneel in front of you and start talking to your stomach even if you're barely pregnant

➠ also kisses your stomach so much

➠ because he's such a sweetheart, he's there for ALL your pregnancy cravings no matter how weird

➠ he will literally run to the supermarket to get whatever you're craving for

➠ Highkey gets emotional with you

➠ like if you start crying out of nowhere he starts crying too

➠ and then you're both just there crying your hearts out on the couch

➠ do expect him to refuse to let you do anything that might be bad for the baby

➠ Not like he wasn't doing this before but he always cooks for you

➠ cooks twice as much because he's convinced you need to eat twice as much for the baby too

➠ he wants to know the gender the moment he's able to but if you don't want to know then he won't ever mention the gender

➠ just to really hide it, he buys both girl and boy baby clothes so you'll never know

➠ he may have brought too many toys for the baby honestly..

➠ He says it's because he "doesn't know what the baby wants" so he should "get everything" so your child can have "a range of options and never be sad"

➠ (He's overthinking about what toys to get)

➠ got an idea to buy one of those pregnancy simulator things so he could get an idea of the pain when you'll give birth and regretted it so bad

➠ Became a million times more doting afterwards because he is so stressed for you

➠ The closer you get to your due date, the more panicked and stressed he gets

➠ He's always watching you because he's scared that the baby will come any second now

➠ When the day finally comes and you're just in the hospital, he's by your side and holding your hand

➠ he's lowkey sweating

➠ he may have watched a few videos on birth and he's not looking forward to seeing it in real life..

➠ he still stays by your side though because he wants to be there for you

➠ he is highkey freaking out when you're giving birth because you're practically crushing his hand in yours and you're obviously in pain and that scares him so bad ..

➠ he just hates seeing you in pain so much

➠ do expect him to cry after you finally give birth

➠ he is just so eager to hold the baby in his arms but he waits for you to do it first

➠ totally fell in love with you all over again even if you look like an absolute mess right now

➠ Overall, best dad ever and i don't think anybody expected anything less

IN THE GAMES:

➠ Moment he sees you he just knows your pregnant

➠ He must have some sixth sense when it comes to you or something

➠ so panicked and nervous because what if something happens to you??

➠ can not stomach the idea of something happening so he's immediately keeping you close to him

➠ very cautious of other people who he hasn't already bonded with

➠ Always taking care of you

➠ shares his food and drink with you because he's convinced you need it more than he does

➠ every single game he's by your side

➠ always making you lean onto him for support if you have to run

➠ Honestly might even pick you up and carry you himself just so you don't hurt yourself

➠ asks you how you feel after every game

➠ when it's lights out, he whispers the cutest things while in front of your stomach

➠ he just finds it to be so comforting to talk to the baby

➠ always promises you that you'll all make it out alive and he'll give you and the baby the best life he can

➠ Overall, still a sweetheart but also very afraid for you and the baby..

"Are you okay? Nothing's wrong, right?" Daeho asks as he sits by you. He had been incredibly worried for you the moment his eyes landed on you during the first game. He could just tell you were pregnant and that scared him so much considering you were trapped here - a place where you could lose your life at any moment. The idea put him on a constant edge and he spent every waking second by your side to keep you safe. He knows he'd never be able to forgive himself if something happened to you so he promised both himself and you that he'll get the two of you out of here and find a nice place to live where you can raise the baby. "If anything feels wrong, tell me, okay?"

[kaidenhearts]

could you just be mine and i never need to worry about letting you go? please?

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus