#i need the bittersweet endings that immortals with no control of the inevitable have

[viridian-forest-collective]

Joe: *what's worse than telling him I'm literally death... OH YEAH!*

Joe: I'm the IRS, now gimme your taxes.

[twstdaydreamer]

“trail of a single tear”

Fandom: twisted wonderland

Word Count: 1,560

Pairings: lilia vanrouge x sick!reader

Genre: angst

TW: implied character death

The first blow for the angst train is here! Please proceed with caution and thank you for reading!

“All ever ask you is to stay awake. You did everything you can to stay awake even if it hurts you so much. Just for me. I’m sorry for being a selfish old man, little one. I…I’ll let you sleep now.”

“At last, I can have you for myself,” Lilia grinned mischievously as he glanced lovingly at you. “I fear you'll forget me because too many people love you dearly, little one.”

“I would never,” you giggled, fishing out your camera and taking a cute picture of him leaning against the window sill.

He blinked for a few seconds before a smirk curled on his lips. “Kufufu. Are you that in love with me, dear?”

“Eh. It would be a fine addition to my ever growing collection of pictures.” You replied cheekily. “...of you, of course.”

As you fiddled with your camera, his expression became serious all of a sudden. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Why, of course!" You cheerfully answered. You already prayed hard; you prayed hard every night. Although unlike the times you prayed for your life to last a little bit more, these days, you found yourself praying for your friends. You want them to be happy when the inevitability happens. You wanted him to be happy even after you die.

Well, as for yourself, you already felt contended. Others might curse the life you have if it happens to them, but to be honest, you really couldn't ask for more. Whoever divine entity controls this world, they already gave you enough blessings that you would consider yourself lucky.

All you wanted to do right now is to relinquish the remaining life they have given to you. To be by his side at your last moments, to cherish everything you still have.

That's the most important treasure you want to keep forever.

You two decided to embark on an adventure, one that would surely be memorable. You know the others wanted to come as well to spend time with you, but they respected your feelings that you wanted to be with him at your last…

You quickly shook your head. This isn't the time to think of depressing things!

"Is everything alright, darling?" You heard Lilia's voice called you outside of the confines off your tent. You excused yourself earlier, claiming that you have to change your clothes because you stink but the truth is…

"Yep! Just a little bit longer!" You replied, praying that your voice didn't quiver. Lilia noticed all things about you, but you still hope that he won't see that you're suffering too much now. He'll insist on going home and just rest. 

No, you won't allow that. You promised yourself that you would make this trip successful and happy. You promised that you will make him happy, even if it's the last thing you will do. 

"Do you want me to help you?" He asked playfully. "I can be very adept in doing so, little one." 

"As if!" You couldn't help but to laugh despite the excruciating pain piercing your chest. You clenched it hard, relaxing your breathing.

"Kufufu, I've already seen it! Why, you need not to hide anything from me." Lilia teased and you felt yourself blush. Surely, it's not the first time he would help you change clothes, but that's beside the point here!

After changing your clothes to a more comfortable one, you joined him in the bonfire. The pain in your chest hasn't subsided yet, but it's better to leave the tent or else he'll really fuss over you and insist you rest.

The rest of the night passed by. The two of you make the most out of the moment; fooling around, taking pictures, playing games, eating whatever (aside from his horrible cooking, but Silver made sure that his old man didn't bring anything he made for your sake), and Lilia tells you different stories about him and the interesting people he met in his life. 

You found yourself leaning on him, pressed gently on his chest with his arms wrapped around you. The bonfire continued to ignite as you began to reminisce the memories you had.

Then there was silence.

You felt contended in his embrace. His body was quite cold, as most faeries do. But you care less. You just wanted to be by his side.

"Whatever are you thinking, little one?" He asked, his hands gently brushing your locks. 

"Nothing in particular," you smiled at him in reassurance. "I just...wanted to live in peace. Like this."

"We can live here, if you want. We will build a family here." He murmured, kissing your forehead.

To be with Lilia. To live happily ever after. To have a family with him.

It was your ideal happiness. It's so perfect. It's your everything. But that was so damn impossible.

Your time is about to end.

The time to part is inevitable, and it's coming. It's getting near. You can feel it.

"Lilia…" 

"Yes?" 

"Lilia…"

"Hmm?" 

"I just wanted to call you." You said. "Lilia…"

You called him, repeatedly. You savor the taste of his name with your lips, never getting tired of it. 

Lilia Vanrogue...the ever mysterious fae that was once an honorable knight, who became a parent to both a prince and a human child, then became a vice dorm leader of Diasomnia...and the very same fae that you love with all your heart. The only one you love more than your life. 

You don't want to leave him, of course. You want to hold him forever. If only there's another way…

"You have to be happy, Lilia…" 

"With you, dear, happiness is achieved."

"You know I'm not going to be with you forever, right? At some point..I-I have to r-rest, too." Your voice cracked, choking on a sob that threatens to spill on your throat.

He fell silent for a few moments, before a sad smile broke through his lips. "....I know." 

You kissed his cheek before leaning on his shoulder. "Make the most of your life, Lilia. I know you still have a long life ahead of you. You will meet more amazing people out there. You could still find another happiness, possibly greater than I could ever give you. You still have Malleus, Silver, Sebek and everyone else by your side. Make more happy memories with them...even if I'm not there anymore."

Your chest pierced with another pain again. You gasped, feeling your heart getting wretched and twisted over and over again. You had become accustomed to the same pain, but it doesn't mean it hurt less.

"(Y/n)..." worried, he called you out, his hands grasping yours. Oh, how tempting it was to cast a healing spell on you. He had enough seeing you in pain. But human bodies cannot withstand the power of a fae, especially if the disease was already spreading in the body for a long time. 

He feared that he might only speed up the process of your...departure should he interfere.

You faked a smile, hiding the excruciating pain that was slowly killing you. "I'm alright." 

"..." Lilia didn't say anything, but he knew very well that you were lying. He was looking at you with all seriousness, and slowly, your facade started to crumble.

"It...it hurts." There's no point pretending. He knew. He knew very well that you were suffering more than one person can handle. But you hide it well. You hide it all this time. For his sake. It's always for his sake.

"I love you, Lilia." You cried, clutching his shirt until your hands turned white. "I love you so much. But, I'm sorry I can't stay with you anymore. The inevitable was...happening. And we don't have any choice but to accept it." You cupped his face and leaned in for a kiss. 

Compared to the other passionate kisses you two had, this one was chaste, a pure one. When you kissed, you felt the bittersweet feeling of his immortality--the eternal taste of your love--it's not such a bad thing after all.

"I'll do what you desire, dear." Lilia smiled bitterly, his thumb wiping away the traces of tears in your eyes. "I will make the best out of my life. I will be happy together with everyone. I will treasure our memories for eternity. However, there was one thing I could not do."

Your lips trembled, forcing your eyes to shut as the pain worsened. 

"...I will never stop loving you. I will never find another person who could give me the same happiness you provide me.”

You can't take this pain anymore. You wanted to sleep now. You wanted everything to end right now. 

"I-I love you, Lilia." You continue to tell him. Never ending. Never getting tired until your gasping for breath. He pleaded with you to rest, but you resist. You have to tell him this. You have a feeling that this will be the last…

"Are…" Lilia trailed, pursing his lips. "Are you really tired now?"

Slowly, you nodded and smiled at him through blurry eyes. "Y-Yes. I'm tired. I want to sleep…" you said. "Is it okay? Will you be okay?"

He was silent.

"L-Lilia?"

He gently caressed your hair. “All ever ask you is to stay awake. You did everything you can to stay awake even if it hurts you so much. Just for me. I’m sorry for being a selfish old man, little one. I…I’ll let you sleep now."

Seeing the trail of that single tear fell from his beautiful eyes...is the most painful of all.

"You need not to stay awake anymore. Rest now, my dear."

[lucatorahaven]

vampire au post

4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times

[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au

Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals

Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time

idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.

however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(

so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)

claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.

claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just

“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?” 

it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart 

“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know” 

lucas thinks of that conversation a lot

he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"

SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.

eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it

n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)

vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)

that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”

So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas 

n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET

lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY

"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"

lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her

in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)

when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there 

lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE

she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay” 

after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways

lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food

but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company

so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and 

IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes

also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.

ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit

bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened

(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)

so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory

n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood

n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it

n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES

kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them

(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)

n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr

n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp 

so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two

and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??   

lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..

he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”

kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital   

n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME

kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit

people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”

theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?

"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"

eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams

but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY

they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED

he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)

whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him 

N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST

SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????

N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me

n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just

yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings

N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS  A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up

so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess 

“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”

a lil while passes

“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it 

“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”

they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)

they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do

so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN

it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"

but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT 

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE

YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)

so back to the topic of Mortality

kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work

n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her 

also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA

SO HE BITES HER

he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties

kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD

she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort

"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”

so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.

it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it

idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh

[simontams]

HEY NAT NAT BEN BEN WHAT ABOUT TORCHWOOD 🔥🔥🔥

I feel personally targeted. And I want that in writing.

Okay here goes nothing. *Rolls up sleeves*.

Warning: Will likely evolve into a long, in-depth, Torchwood analysis

Favourite Character:

I’m half asleep as it is and you go and encourage me to talk about Ianto Jones, who is not only my favourite character in this show, but probably overall.

The question is, can I pinpoint why?

Can I articulate how much this character genuinely means to me without just giving up and keyboard smashing at like 2am?

Okay, to start with, he’s not in the first two series an awful lot, however much I try to convince myself otherwise, but the development he does get is credit-worthy. And I think from the start, I was won over by his priceless expressions, sarcastic humour and sweet demeanour. Yet, throughout my numerous rewatches, the occasional bleaker episode, and low-key audio addiction, I’ve learned that there is more than meets the eye and maybe that's what makes him so interesting to me- All characters have more to them that originally assumed but there’s so many aspects to Ianto’s personality that slowly reveal themselves that you cant possibly know everything. You keep on learning and wondering about his past, his motivations, his true feelings- I’ve seen on countless occasions people labelling him as overrated and simply seen as that outside innocent coffee boy (sure, its the button on the top), but I think his clear popularity could be because a lot of people, dare I say, relate to him?

One of my favourite things about the Doctor Who universe especially and, in turn, Torchwood, is that it is real, it has real characters who have real emotions and real flaws, which shouldn't be excluded as they only add to their human degree of complexity- what would the series be without returning home to a concerned Jackie Tyler for a cup of tea every once in a while? without seeing characters reach behind that innate curiosity at the science-fiction and occasionally express fear at what is uncomfortable and unknown?

Doctor Who is not about aliens, it’s about people- and Ianto Jones is no exception. And in some ways, he can be the most human of them all- his excitement and confidence when he’s viewed as Jack’s boyfriend, his maintained calm exterior that he chooses to present to the world, his friendship with Tosh and the others, his weird habits and his humour, right up until his brutally heartfelt death scene.

 Ianto Jones is one of the only characters that I am sure will remain this close to my heart, and I constantly switch between connecting to him and marvelling at how much more there is to see. Not to be too deep or over-exaggerated, but under everybody's excitable obsessions with TV shows, bands, books- there's something that genuinely helped them learn more about themselves and grow as a person behind it, they represent a certain time in that individuals life and that has to be appreciated- in the same way, that can be said for my attraction to Torchwood as a whole and towards Ianto as a character.

Second Favourite Character:

Now that we’ve accepted me as a high-key, over-the-top teenaged fan, hence somehow continuing reading, let’s move on to the impossible choice of, who do I prefer more: Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper or Jack Harkness? (I’ll mention my  Gwen angst later).

Firstly Jack, will always, in my eyes, be one of the most deep and fascinating characters from what I’ve seen of the franchise as a whole- the contrast between the self-assured and flirtatious alien, the darker side of his immortality, and even the earlier con-man interpretation of his endlessly gripping character. Some of my favourite aspects of him in Torchwood are when we see him through his own outlived eyes; his loneliness or anger or even fragility, the latter being especially in regards to his relationship with Ianto and his over-arching knowledge that nothing lasts for him. And while he will always be one of my favourite characters in general, this one is a close call and I regret to view him as anything less than such- but I’m gonna have to go with Owen.

But first, let me appreciate Tosh- underestimated, brave, intelligent and affectionate Tosh, who is so close to Owen in terms of my tribute, it was near impossible to choose between the pair- in fact it still is and if asked this another time I would probably change my mind repeatedly. She tries so hard to gain approval and security, she's just genuinely lovable...and she did good.

I know Owen- apparently I’m having an Owen day- is disliked by the best of us in season 1, and some still after, I mean he is outwardly an arsehole, he's even aware of such, and the way he treats others including Tosh is inexcusable- but it’s season 2 where I genuinely fell in love with him, if not, mid-way through the first season after seeing the affects of Diane’s departure and his more sensitive self. Because like I said before- these human qualities, however negative, only add to him as a character.

When all the ‘dying drama’ goes down we realise how truly fragile he is, and in Fragments we see this to an even greater extent pre-torchwood: he's had a bad time of it, to say the least. And I will place him in second place after Ianto primarily due to this drastic turn and the realisation that he is such a prime example of ‘messed up and imperfect yet completely misunderstood’ and deep down, one of the most sensitive and caring of the lot.

I especially love when he begins to open up to Tosh and the numerous scenes in ‘a day in the death’ such as running into the bay or Ianto telling him to not let himself get beaten after all he has done, and that's also why that is one of my favourite episodes- I love this side of his character and how it contributes to him on the whole.

Character I’m Most Like:

God. Okay.

I honestly think this has to be the shortest reply yet. And for all the explanations worth, it has to be Ianto. Owen is angsty as hell, Tosh is kind and smart, Jack is tired, above everything and Gwen is adamant and sociable-

Ianto is humorous and loyal.

-Yet, somehow has the potential to be all of the other things too, and at times, has been. Which only furthers my previous point of him being relatable to most viewers at certain times throughout because of that.

Favourite Pair:

Now we’re talking.

There’s a word, a cursed, ancient term that’s been floating around the internet for a while now....: Janto.

Typical romance story, boy meets boy, boy is immortal alien, boy falls in love with welsh nerd who looks good in a waistcoat, the usual, yet...

Next, the heavy stuff :)

Ianto has so much love to give and he chooses to give it to Jack. His last serious relationship ended in tragedy and he finds himself in a casual fling with this, said immortal alien guy, who’s also...his mysterious boss. He appears genuinely happy and confident for the first time in a while and his utter joy will purify souls for many years to come.

But it’s not that simple, is it? It never has been. Because it gets serious and they can escape into their own connection outside of their work and all the other crap the team go through. They begin to understand each other on a deeper level despite their differences- and it’s fated to end in disaster:  Ianto’s death.

One of the most heart-breaking yet beautiful and bittersweet factors of the show is this relationship. The most traumatic realisations? moments when Ianto acknowledges his mortality compared to Jacks curse to out-live everybody he loves (The dead line and Day 4, I’m looking at you). Maybe it’s on Jacks behalf that the extent and importance of their bond get highlighted- He unwillingly falls for Ianto and he in no way wants to recognize the unwavering sincerity of what they have, or at least publically, hence his hesitance when Ianto is proud to be seen as a couple at the beginning of Children Of Earth, because he doesn’t want to see something so good end and hurt him, again.

Also, the fact that their relationship is so private? It’s got a significant part to play when prompting the importance of what they have. Jack is characteristically flirty and outgoing, yet he keeps his feelings for Ianto close and guarded-  because they mean that much to him. All of their intimate conversations- they're alone. It just develops and adds meaning and weight to their taboo ending.

That inevitably brings me onto the unspeakable death scene. I can wholeheartedly say that I have never witnessed such an emotional scene where a character has been killed off? It just, it gets to you? and I probably don't need to say that twice.

I don’t even know what it is, and I don’t care about the ‘he should never have been killed off’ or ‘he died for nothing’, god I want him to live as much as anybody, but they did choose to kill him off- and it was art.

The entirety of COE was, it was horrific and too close for comfort and one of the best pieces of television that I will ever have the pleasure to watch. Because it is raw and it’s soulful and it’s real and it breaks you- and god I wouldn’t want one of my favourite characters to go in any other way than something with this level of reputation and emotion.

The way Jack falls onto the floor next to Ianto, the ballad of Ianto Jones playing, the bigger picture of the theme of the series, them out of their comfort zone, beyond their control, influencing this, the government officials overlooking such an intimate moment, the way Jack tells them 'not him’ (that’s where I loose it, god I’m choked up just thinking about it), after Ianto tried to be the hero and stand next to Jack and help him confront the mistakes of his past- showing him that he's there for him when others doubt him, showing him that he can change and resolve it with him by his side, yet seeing that their efforts do not directly succeed? its not showing Ianto died with no final influence, its to show the extent of the bigger issue, it is out of their hands and that's why Children Of Earth is so, for want of a better word, scary- Gwen relating this degree of destruction to the absence of our established hero, The Doctor- terrifying.

How Jack wakes up and sees Ianto, how the audience see this character they've grown to love, dead, how defeated Jack looks with the knowledge that he will have to move on and can’t do anything about what had happened- it is seriously too much and can anybody who is that deeply connected to a scene, really hate on it for whatever reason?

God Jack blames himself, God Torchwood was the death of me-

you know I watched Children Of Earth over the evening of Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning? I watched Ianto Jones die on Christmas day 2015. Yeah.

Least Favourite Pair:

What the ever loving shit is Gwack.

(I like how you tiptoed around this Evie, and I just-)

Okay. I don't like Gwen. 

Now hear me out, I don't like her in the first and second series. She was a cheat and I accept this as part of her character, and Owens, but it doesn't mean I have to ignore or like it- she also treat the others like they didn't understand, like they couldn't feel and aren't affected by what they see like she is when they've been through so much more in terms of their background- she is rash and selfish and Rhys deserved better.

There I said it- however, it is party due to the writing, she had a lot of potential but she can’t be treated as such a ‘nice’ or relatable character and role model, as the person who enters this alien world for the audience to relate to when she gets away with these things. But I’ll hold my hands up and says she grows up a lot come COE and in the books and audios.

Despite my feelings about Gwen- she has still got a boyfriend either way. No offence, meh, ish, but there is nothing between her and Jack romantically- if anything she merely represents the normal life that Jack cant have. The many, many, uncomfortable scenes when she stares at Jack while kissing Rhys, the flirting with who she thought was him on her wedding day, the part where he's teaching her how to shoot, its just that, its awkward and there's nothing to it. Why voluntarily choose to treat her as this person who uses people and makes excuses for herself when you can emphasise and focus on her other truly good qualities like her bravery?

Why dig for something that isn't there, they have a great friendship, why simplify that? he mentors her and she has Rhys, he has Ianto, there's so much depth to that relationship as I've been through, why choose to overlook it?

But ‘don't like’ isn't as strong a word as ‘hate’, I just don't understand why somebody would make it this hard to view her as redeemable- I know she is flawed, like the others- I just find it harder avoid and grasp why people want to  further those parts of her and view it in a positive light and accept or ignore her cheating.

Gwen, I can hesitantly can get on board with, she is still part of the show I love, and while I can’t admit forgiving her I can say that her character, in turn, deserved better and while I acknowledge the problems she has, I appreciate her in COE, etc, because she does begin to develop and prove herself a bit more.

Nonetheless, I will never ‘get’ Jack and Gwen, it just doesn't rub me up the right way and seems pointless, it seems like ‘bait’ that some fans have fallen for and for me, it takes away so much of all of the characters involved and I’d rather view them for who they are rather than hinting at a negative version of who they could be.

And I'm sorry but Gwen and Owen are just bad for each other- they both deserve better than that.

Owen and Tosh? Beautiful and they should have gotten that date, they know each other so well and their death scene- why is this show so traumatic. But don't even get me started on that one-

‘Because you’re breaking my heart.’

Favourite Moment (s):

To be blunt:

Day 4- Ianto dies, yes really, #1, sorry...yeah..

Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, (Janto, in Adam)

A Day In The Death- Owen underwater, also in top 3...

‘No, ‘cause the phones aren't working’,

Captain Jack Harkness- Jack & Jack Dance, close second

‘Who’s for Chinese?’ ft. actually eating it and having a nice time Tm

When, in fragments, Owen first enters the hub and he is talking to Jack about how he's going to try to save as many people as he can but it'll  never be enough

I’m not sure of the episode, likely ‘A Day In The Death’, but Tosh and Owen have a talk, wait was it ‘Dead Man Walking?’...yeah it was...

Broken, audio- Yeah, that- the car scene where their relationship truly begins and ‘stop the car’, ‘my coffee.’

‘Space Pig, Yeah?’

Fragments- ‘Jones. Ianto Jones’. ‘Captain Jack Harkness’

Does the John Barrowman ringtone blooper count? ;)

Not to approach the unapproachable, and it's not my favourite ‘cause that's like twisted but- ‘the Steven thing’ deserves a mention just for the fact that Jacks expression will haunt me forever

‘The world’s always ending, and I have missed that coat’

Did I mention the entirety of COE?

A Torchwood Captain and an ex-time agent walk into a bar...

Virus short story, ending and the part where Ianto goes rogue and badass

The goodbye in COE- should have ended there, it lost its weight

Consider this: In the shadows audio- Ianto, he just-

‘The Sin Eaters’ audio, cat falls through lift, that's all you need to know really, isn't it?

‘house of the dead’ when its all over and somebody approached jack and he answers them but then they go away and he- ‘goodbye Ianto’

‘Gwen....mine’s got a bell’, ‘Jack and Coffee’, ‘Lost Souls, audio

Honestly I've probably forgotten moments that I mention 24/7 but these are the ones that come to mind

I warned you that it was gonna be an uncharacteristically long one

Rating:

10/10...

Did you expect anything else after all of that? For all its imperfections, this show will always welcome me back with open arms, I’ve taken so much from it and it will remain my favourite show along with Doctor Who itself.

Funny Story: 5am

I told you Evie, I did.

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Toy Story 2 is the best Toy Story

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Toy Story 2 is the best Toy Story

Toy Story 2 is the best Toy Story

It’s also one of the best movies ever made.

With Toy Story 4, Pixar has the unenviable task of following up what was already a perfect trio of films, charting themes of birth, life, and death with lovely grace, despite the fact that their main characters are just a bunch of toys.

That it is able to find yet another new spin on the secret lives of toys is a testament to the studio’s continued strength of imagination. That it finds a new angle on the themes of mortality that 2010’s Toy Story 3 already handled, but one that is bittersweet and wistful to the sheer bombast of Toy Story 3, is even more impressive.

I greatly love both Toy Story 3 and Toy Story 4. But in recent years, I’ve begun to bristle a bit when Toy Story fans say the third is the greatest of the movies. This is, of course, inevitable in a franchise where every movie is superbly designed, lovingly written, and wonderfully performed. There will be partisans of all four films until the end of time.

But I am here to tell you that people who don’t think 1999’s Toy Story 2 is the greatest Toy Story film or that the two films that follow it will forever live in its shadow are wrong. Toy Story 2 isn’t just the best Toy Story movie. It’s a genuine American movie classic.

Toy Story 2 delves into themes both the Toy Story franchise and Pixar itself would dissect over the next decade

Buzz and Woody’s friendship drives all of the Toy Story movies.

The first Toy Story was released in 1995 and became the biggest hit movie of that year. It was the first animated feature entirely created with a computer, and even though it looks primitive by modern standards, Pixar’s choice to depict characters made out of plastic means that its artificiality has held up in a way that other computer-animated films from the ’90s just haven’t.

What’s more, Toy Story — which didn’t feature big musical numbers and focused on a buddy comedy between a cowboy and a space ranger, rather than an adolescent coming of age story — felt remarkably different from the other animated movies of the ’90s, its technology aside. It changed the industry so much that American studios almost never produce hand-drawn animated films anymore (a travesty, but not really Pixar’s fault), and it was recognized for its achievements with not just a massive box office intake, but a handful of Oscar nominations too (as well as a special-achievement award for being the first “feature-length computer-animated film”).

Naturally, Disney, who distributed the film, wanted a sequel. But Pixar was reticent. Consequently, Toy Story 2 was originally designed as a direct-to-video sequel to that film, before early work on the movie (initially by a very small team within Pixar) suggested it would play well in theaters.

In late 1998, however, folks within Pixar (including Toy Story 2 co-director John Lasseter, who was booted from Pixar in 2018 after accusations of rampant sexual harassment) got a look at the then-current state of Toy Story 2 and feared it would compromise whatever love the American public had for Woody, Buzz Lightyear, and the rest of the toys. Their bet was that they could make a movie that would live up to the legacy of the original and still hit the movie’s projected November 24, 1999, release date — leaving them a little more than nine months to lock the film.

That resulted in a production schedule that was decidedly worker-unfriendly (since the movie was in production basically around the clock for those nine months). And an awareness of that level of “crunch,” as well as Lasseter’s involvement, can make Toy Story 2 harder to revisit.

Yet there’s a wild creativity to Toy Story 2 that arises from Pixar’s desperate need to prove itself. Its 1998 release, A Bug’s Life, was warmly received, but nowhere near the level of Toy Story’s universal acclaim; some critics compared it unfavorably to the competing computer-animated release Antz, which came out a couple of months earlier from Dreamworks and has aged atrociously. (It’s one ugly movie.) Still, at the time, Antz’s celebrity voice cast — including Woody Allen, Sylvester Stallone, and Sharon Stone — and its “what if a Woody Allen movie was about a bug?” premise made it seem like the more “adult” choice.

Thus, Pixar went into Toy Story 2 with a chip on its shoulder. That shines through, but the sheer “we have to fix this now” desperation that resulted from the one-year-to-fix-this-movie timeline created a film that enriches and deepens the ideas introduced in the first Toy Story.

Where Buzz had the identity crisis that drives the first film (in which he has to accept that he is a toy), now it’s Woody who discovers that he is actually a 1950s holdover, a quite valuable TV show tie-in toy who can fetch a pretty penny on the collector’s market. But to become his best, most famous self, he would have to ditch Andy, the kid who owns him and all of his toy friends, by moving to live in a museum in Japan. He will get the immortality of being perfectly preserved on a shelf. But he won’t have Andy or his friends.

The Toy Story movies very loosely form a series about raising children and coming to realize that as your children get older, you get older too, and a little closer to death with every passing year. On this thematic level, then, Toy Story is about Buzz, like a new dad, learning that his needs often have to come second to those of his child.

This basic idea becomes even more potent in Toy Story 2, where Woody literally has to accept that his destiny is vaguely utilitarian, that he exists to fill a void in Andy’s life, and eventually, Andy will be done with him. But he can make Andy’s life better in that time, and that will have to be enough.

What’s beautiful about Toy Story 2 is how these themes develop mostly by implication. Toy Story 3 takes place in a world where Andy has grown up, and it gains substantial emotional power from that. But its choice is, effectively, whether or not to accept that time moves forward, and that your friends and loved ones will get older and die. Which is to say, it’s not actually a choice, because time will move forward whether you want it to or not.

But Toy Story 2 takes place at a time in Andy’s life when Woody really could choose himself and leave the kid behind. It might be more personally fulfilling, even, to embrace his cult icon status and live out his life in the hermetically sealed environment of a museum. We even get to see what will happen to Woody if he chooses to remain with Andy instead of that museum in a poignant flashback to the way Jessie, a cowgirl doll, remembers the girl who loved her, then tossed her aside as she grew older. It comes complete with a heartbreaking Sarah McLachlan performance, and is perhaps the saddest moment in the entire Pixar canon. And that’s saying something.

So, yes, if Woody wants personal fulfillment, he should probably choose the museum. But there would be no risk in it. Raising and loving a child is, on some level, a choice, each and every day, to accept the end of the self in favor of another person who needs your love, protection, and help.

But Toy Story 2 is also a rollicking adventure tale with tremendous storytelling economy

The toys go on a quest to save Woody, which adds lots of adventure and comedy to the film

If all Toy Story 2 had were weighty themes, however, it would be a bit of a bummer. What sets the film apart from the other Toy Story movies is how beautifully those themes are integrated into an incredibly fun adventure story that leaves plenty of room for action sequences and comedic flights of fancy. What’s more, it accomplishes this in just 92 minutes, while also giving every single major character their own story arc.

Much of Pixar’s success as a studio — “this was made by Pixar” has become a selling point in and of itself — can be tied to how good it is at classical Hollywood storytelling construction, screenwriting basics like paying off setups, and creating believable character motivations. These skills are present in Toy Story and A Bug’s Life, but they took full flower in Toy Story 2.

Take something as simple as Rex the dinosaur trying and failing to beat a Buzz Lightyear video game at the start of the film. At first, this feels like a silly one-off gag about how Rex’s tiny arms can’t work the controller as well as he’d like. But then, late in the film, the movie pays this off in the form of a sequence where Rex essentially has to live out the sequence he was stuck on from the video game in the real world. What was a funny joke becomes a thrilling moment of a character facing up to his own weaknesses and overcoming them.

That the movie finds a way to do this with every single character is striking, but even more incredible is that Toy Story 2 also finds ways to play off the character arcs developed in the first film, particularly when it comes to Buzz, who confronts another Buzz Lightyear doll who doesn’t yet realize he’s a toy and is forced to deal with just what an idiot he was back in the first film. It’s terrifically funny, and it allows the film to subtly underline the ideas of personal growth seeded throughout the movie.

Toy Story 2 succeeds because it’s a thematically thoughtful movie, yes, but it’s also a fun movie. That has given it a reputation among some fans that it’s a little slight, and it has the lowest average rating on IMDB of the first three films. (Time will tell how fans rate the fourth.) But the way that Toy Story 2 weds its themes to its more rollicking elements in a way that complements both makes it among Pixar’s crowning achievements. Compare it to, say, Toy Story 3: a real tearjerker, but one where the movie’s adventure story (about escaping a day care center) has next-to-nothing to do with its themes about mortality and aging.

One of Pixar’s greatest strengths when it comes to its storytelling is how often its stories aren’t about individuals overcoming all odds to win the day, but about individuals abnegating their own desires in favor of what’s best for the community. Toy Story 2 makes this the core of every scene, every moment, every joke.

Toy Story 2 is a beautiful, complex film about what it means to choose others instead of yourself every time, and about the weight of making that decision. (Intriguingly, Toy Story 4 explores the flip side of this idea. I won’t spoil it too much, but I think I might come to think of it as just as rich as this film.) But it’s also about how that choice really is a choice, one that different people might make in different ways. That it’s also one of the most action-packed Pixar movies of them all and stuffed with great jokes marks it as a tremendous achievement. It’s not Pixar’s first movie, but it’s the movie when Pixar became Pixar.