#i need silliness and i have everyone’s fits except his and mikey’s. but i’m letting a friend dress mikey up.

[music-my-angel]

An incident that could have been avoided

Prompt - Hello, love! I adore your writing and was hoping you could do a 5SOS one shot (if it’s possible, for my birthday on the 28th Of May?) where Michael and Luke aren’t getting along and keep getting into fights and Luke takes it too far once & insults Michael really bad on stage (you can decide what he says?) and Michael walks off and breaks down, crying to Ashton saying he doesn’t know what he did wrong & Luke apologizing and them making up with fluff! Thank you!! :)

Prompt - Please can you write a 5sos one where Michael falls down the stairs after an argument with 1 of the lad sand breaks his collarbone?? Xoxo

Prompt - Could you please do one about Michael twisting his ankle on stage and it’s really painful and when they get backstage Luke has to carry him to the first aid officer to help him?

Prompt - Michael has a big argument with boys for some small reason and it turns into a big fight and he fall of stairs after this argument and hits his head hard n gets knocked out and is really badly hurt and when he wake up he really dizzy and hurt but refuses to go to hospital and is not even talking to boys and is not letting them help him even though he can’t even walk properly without their help and stumbles through the house and they feel guilty and say sorry while trying to help him

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It was a stupid argument to be fair. It wasn’t even creative differences. It wasn’t like Luke wanted Michael’s part in a song or Michael wanted to be in Luke’s place. They had argued over a video game. All the elder one did was beat Luke in a game for which Luke decided to be petty and tell everyone that Michael cheated in order to win. What was supposed to be a silly argument got dragged for days and suddenly, it was threatening the peace of the 5sos band.

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At first, when Luke started calling Michael a cheater, the other two boys didn’t think much of it. When Luke went on to call out Michael every time he spoke, Ashton did feel that things were probably getting a little too far but he stayed silent, thinking things would get better in a few days. But as the days went by, Luke was nearly bullying Michael. It seemed like a it was just a matter days before things would go worse and to be honest, Ashton should have acted right then but he didn’t really think that it will go that bad.

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It happened during a concert. They had been chatting to the crowd when Luke pulled out the cheating card again, except this time, Luke went a little too far.

“Did you all know that Michael’s a cheater?” Luke egged the crowd.

The crowd started cheering Luke to know more.

“He cheats in video games. He cheats his best friend. I wonder if he cheated his girlfriend too. Oh wait, maybe he did, that’s why we don’t see his girlfriend around anymore!” Luke chuckled.

Michael turned back in shock, not believing that Luke would say that in front of the crowd.

Luke did notice the hurt look that Michael gave him but he ignored it.

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Michael had gotten halfway down the stairs leading to the backstage when he saw Ashton and he couldn’t help but break down in tears.

“How could he say that? Especially when he knows that I’m having troubles with my girlfriend.” Michael sobbed.

“Oh Mikey!” Ashton sighed, stretching an arm towards the boy to pull him in a hug when Luke appeared.

“I knew you would go crying to Ash” Luke accused and in a fit of anger, he pushed Michael down the stairs only to watch in horror as Michael fell over his stomach and let out a painful scream.

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“Mike” Calum shouted when he saw Michael fall down. He pushed past a shocked Luke to get to Michael.

“Mike? Michael?” Ashton called out as he tried to help Michael get on his back but the boy started shouting as soon as they touched his shoulder.

“His leg is bent awkwardly” Calum noticed.

“His shoulder or arm is hurt too” Ashton said.

“We need a hospital” Calum concluded.

Ashton nodded as he instructed Calum to go fetch help. He looked up at Luke, shaking his head while help came by.

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Michael turned out to have a sprained ankle and a broken collarbone. The boys stayed by Michael’s side while Luke stayed back. He visited Michael the next day only to overhear the boys talking about him.

“I should have stopped Luke early on itself. I’m sorry” Ashton apologized.

“I don’t know what I did wrong for him to be so angry at me” Michael whispered.

“I’m the one who should be sorry Mike. I was just being a sore loser and when everyone laughed at me for losing, I started putting the blame on you. But I didn’t mean to push you. I was just angry, thinking you’d turn Ash and Cal against me. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to get hurt” Luke sobbed out.

Michael stayed quiet for a while before sighing, “You’re an idiot, Lukey! Come here!”

Luke approached the boy cautiously and let Michael pull him in a hug.

Ashton and Calum shared a smile with each other in the back.

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Luke had a lot of fixing to do. He constantly apologized to Michael and tried to do everything that he could in order to help the boy. Ashton and Calum helped him out, all while feeling guilty about how this whole incident could have been avoided if they had stepped in at the right time.

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A/N

Not too sure about this but hope you all like it.

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 75, October 2017

The past few days have been really difficult for me to say the least. I can already feel that I’m in a state of transition right now after walking away from my current personal trainer Luke Davey last Friday. It was an extremely tough decision for me as I was hoping that things would get better and that we could turn a corner somehow. But the reality is that I just wasn’t happy training there anymore. No amount of self-help books, positive affirmations and friendly exchanges could cover up how I was truly feeling inside...uncertain, depressed, frustrated, misunderstood, conflicted, upset and hurt. I needed to move on.

Does it make me a bad person to want to change personal trainers? Hell no! I don’t think so. My biggest problem has always been worrying what other people will think and how they will react to my decisions. Am I making the right choice? Am I being too sensitive? Am I giving up too easily? Nope. I’m simply doing what’s best for me. From my perspective, there’s no bad blood between myself and Luke at all and I really appreciate everything he has done for me. He has helped me achieve many of my fitness goals. He has challenged me physically, mentally and emotionally. I’ve learned lots of new skills, movements and techniques.

So no, I don’t regret any of it at all. I just hope that Luke can accept and respect my decision as well. I’m really proud of myself for being open and honest with Luke as well as ending this PT-client relationship on respectful and peaceful terms.

Here is a list of achievements I’ve made with Luke Davey at Breakaway Fitness:

Losing 20kg of body weight (from 105 to 85kg)

Building up lean muscle in my arms, legs, glutes, hamstrings, back, buttocks etc.

Learning the correct techniques, forms and movements for doing deadlifts, back squats, front squats, bench press and dumbbell bench press

Completing many AMRAPs (As Many Reps As Possible), EMOTM (Every Minute on the Minute), 3-4 rounds and time based workouts

Learning how to do stretches, box jumps, push ups, ring rows, using the balance board, kettle bell swings, single arm kettle bell lifts, squats, walking lunges and burpees

Improved my squat depth and weight lifting ability

Learning how to deal with anxiety, depression, fear, stress, overthinking, self-doubt, self confidence issues and believing in myself

On Monday morning, I went to my Yin yoga class with Kelly Wallis at Now, Yoga. in Narre Warren South. I kinda embarrassed myself this morning as I expected to see Kelly the moment I walked into the studio but instead saw another lady at the desk and instantly assumed that she was filling in. Whoops! But I let that moment go pretty quickly. It was moderately full class with about 10 students or so. I haven’t been to one of Kelly’s classes in a long time and I’ve missed her style of teaching.

Today there was a lot of focus on doing long holds and supported variations of poses including Standing Forward Bend, Yogic Squat, Sphinx pose, Puppy pose, Cow Face pose, Reclining Single Leg Spinal Twist and Child’s pose. And for the first time in the eight years I’ve been doing yoga, everyone had a literally chuck a temper tantrum. Normally, I hardly ever give myself permission to act silly or make lots of loud noises but today was the exception. And it felt great...releasing negative emotions like anger, frustration, guilt, shame, regret is so important and trust Kelly to come up with the idea. It was brilliant! http://nowyoga.net.au/ 

On Monday night, I revisited The Yard Strength & Fitness in Pakenham for the first time since August. It felt good being back here. In some ways, it was the ace up my sleeve if things went pear shaped at UFT. You can call it jumping ship but I have honourable intentions behind it. I truly believe that I deserve to train in a place where I feel supported and encouraged by everyone there. Part of me will miss being at UFT PLAYgrounds but I know in myself that I’ve made the right decision in leaving. I have to keep moving forward. https://www.facebook.com/TheYardStr... 

Tonight I did a Bootcamp class with two other girls, Eliza and Ebony, and it was run by Stacey Kett. We warmed up by doing some kettle bell swings and runs up and down the carpark. It honestly felt like I was doing the beep test back in high school PE class. Next we did a series of movements at 25 seconds each including KB squats, bar knee tucks, KB swings, squat bar jumps, KB high lifts, plank holds with KB touch and push ups. 

The final part involved an eight round TABATA doing plank holds. I was pretty much shaking and pouring with sweat at this point. My foam yoga mat was covered in it. But that meant that I really worked hard tonight. None of the tough emotional issues from last week were going to bring me down. I also feel like I’m improving heaps with my push ups, squats, running and plank holds.     

After the Bootcamp class, I had a brief chat with Abhishek Ashokkumar from Silverback Training Co. about the possibility of him becoming my next personal trainer. Honestly, I was a little nervous and weary as I normally am meeting new people but I felt comfortable enough to tell him about my goals, my mental health issues, what happened between me and Luke and why I want him to train me. I’m looking for someone who is compassionate, supportive, encouraging, patient and kind. Hopefully Abhi can deliver on those fronts. One step at a time. https://www.facebook.com/silverback... 

On Tuesday morning, I had my feedback session with Dr. Yasmin Baliz at CNS: Comprehensive Neuropsychological Services in Narre Warren. I was feeling a bit nervous waiting for Yasmin to arrive the reception area with my mum sitting across from me. Today was the day that I’ll find out either way whether I sit on the Autism Spectrum or not. We sat in the same room that we were in during the first appointment, with the same white plush leather sofas, black glass coffee table, fake palms and artificial cricket/tadpole noises from the Rainforest Room next door. 

So the moment of truth...I’ve been officially diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, which is essentially a mild form of Autism. Characteristics for diagnosis include difficulties with social interaction in groups, poor social skills, difficulties with verbal and non-verbal communication, prefers routine and predictable environments, prefers independent activities and finds sensory environments to be overwhelming. It was a lot of information to process in that session but thankfully there is lots of support and resources out there to understand it better. http://www.cnspsych.com.au/process.... 

Yasmin left me with the “The Autism Spectrum Information Booklet” and will be posting me out the report on my results from the assessment. I feel better knowing that there is an underlying cause for my thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviour particularly in social situations that were often difficult to explain to others. There is a strong genetic component with a cousin on my Mother’s side also having Autism and there have been signs since childhood that I may be predisposed to it. But at least I know now so it’s like a veil’s been lifted. http://www.autism-help.org/autism-h... 

On Tuesday night, I attended the Mental Health & Wellbeing seminar at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. Sadly there wasn’t a big attendance at tonight’s event with most staff members taking up the semi-circle of folded chairs but I still felt like I got a lot out of the presentation. https://www.caseyarc.ymca.org.au/wh... 

The first presenter was a guy named James who is a personal trainer and an ambassador for Beyond Blue. He has suffered with depression and suicidal thoughts since the age of 13, going through periods of low self-esteem, self harm, substance abuse and denial. It took him many attempts to overcome his depression with several relapses and various psychologists but eventually he pulled through it. His strategies include finding a psychologist with similar values, being open about how you’re thinking and feeling and doing productive activities such as reading, going to the gym, hanging out with mates. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/conne... 

The second presenter was Dr. James Collard who is a clinical psychologist and representative from CBT Australia. His talk on mental health was more in depth and academic, exploring where emotions come from, the biological, social and psychological aspects, the effects of depression and anxiety, dealing with anger and problem behaviours and using self-care strategies to help cope with mental health issues. He provided quite a few examples from young clients and parents who he has worked with over the years which I found to be quite relatable. https://www.cbtaustralia.com.au/ 

On Thursday morning, I attended my Body Balance class with Wendy Lynne Perrow at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. It was a really great feeling to walk into that group fitness studio and be welcomed by Wendy as soon as I stepped onto the mat...”It’s lovely to see you again Michael. Welcome back.” Sometimes that’s all you need, that acknowledgement, to know that somebody else cares about you and it’s what I needed in that moment. Truthfully, I’ve missed Wendy’s classes as well. 

Today we did release number 69 which featured the following exercises: Tai-Chi Warmup (Overhead circles, Wide legged arm sweeps, Soft blocks), Sun Salutations (Forward fold, Downward Facing Dog, Plank, Baby Cobra), Standing Strength (Warrior 2, Sun Warrior), Balance (Aeroplane pose, Dancer’s pose), Pilates (Double arm and leg extensions, Double D, Threading the Needle), Twists (Seated open and closed twist, Butterfly pose) and Hamstring Stretches (Staff pose with legs crossed, Wide Legged Forward Fold) and Relaxation. https://grandnat.co.uk/what-already... 

The thing I really appreciate about Wendy’s classes is her patience and guidance, allowing us all to take different options if we need to and not worry if the poses or movements aren’t “perfect”. She always has a way of making the class enjoyable for everyone and when it comes to the Relaxation, she is the undisputed queen of Guided Meditations. Her voice is so gentle and calming. I could easily drift off to sleep if I wanted to! https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/f...                 On Friday morning, I had my Body Combat class with Cinamon Guerin at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. So today’s class was a little different than usual. Firstly, it’s a longer class at 55 minutes and there was many more people participating, probably around 30 or so. There was also a small group of women down the front who were loud, extroverted and singing along with the tracks. I made the choice to not let them bother me nor do I necessarily have to be like them or copy what they’re doing. Just focus on being myself and doing my own workout.

There were quite a few challenging sections in this morning’s class especially doing dynamic lunges and front kicks. It always messes with my balance and I find it difficult to keep up the pace. But otherwise I was doing fine. I put a lot of effort in and could feel a huge emotional release during the jab boxes. You just get to the point where you’ve had enough of dealing with negativity and people who bring you down. So it felt good getting all of that out of my system today. https://www.lesmills.com/workouts/f...

“I can't fake it, it's never enough. It's got a hold on me. Left behind here, I can't keep up. Come get a hold of me. I was thinking if I could be tough. You'd wanna hold onto me. I will be your home, keep you warm when it's cold. I will try to be what you need when you're low. I can only promise the girl that I am. I'll do anything that I can.”                              Broods - Recovery (2016)

“Something tipped me over. Someone knocked me down. Emptied out my inside. Poured it on the ground. A cavern for a body, The deeper darker kind. For all I hear are echoes, Repeat inside my mind. I thought the shade around me, was making me feel blind. I thought I was a hero, but I was just a child.” Broods - Worth The Fight (2016)