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words-for-holland · 4 years ago

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Quarantine Series: Silence is Golden?

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Summary: Tom and Y/N don’t get into a lot of fights, but this one will leave you speechless...literally.

A/N: Hey! Did you know I created a Masterlist?! You can view here (X)!

Every couple has their good and bad days. Some people will even say it’s healthy to have a little dispute once and awhile. For Y/N and Tom, the bad days just kept on coming. Maybe it was due to the work piling up on Y/N’s plate lately, or the fact that Tom was stressing about going to Berlin in 2 weeks for his work. Either way, both of them were under pressure, and with everything going on, it’d be no surprise that even the smallest things would irritate them.

“Tom I told you to put your luggage off to the side. One of us is going to trip with all this shit in our room.” Y/N scolded as she pushed the black luggage to the side of wall.

Tom was sitting in bed, rolling his eyes at his fiance’s comment and went back to focusing on his script. “Well, maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal if you just cleaned the room every weekend like you were supposed to do.” He grumbled as he highlighted his lines.

“I was working the entire weekend. I told you I had a huge release to prep for and last time I rememebered I’m your fiance not your maid. It wouldn’t kill if you could just do some of the chores in the house instead of having me, Harry, Harrison, or Tuwaine do it for you.” She argued, glaring down at Tom with her arms crossed. “Just cause your some hot shot celebrity doesn’t mean you can just sit there and do jack shit.”

Tom looked at her with surprise and anger. He just about had it up to here with her nagging. Tom loves Y/N, but sometimes, like tonight, she was really getting on his nerves, and the next few things he says to her were not so pretty. “Can you just shut up?! You’re always telling me what to do, what not to do, to stop doing this and stop doing that, and god the never-ending chatter that comes out of your mouth.” He spits out not even paying attention to how Y/N was reacting. “Some people actually do prefer some peace and quiet. God, I really can’t wait to go to Berlin just so I don’t have to hear that god awful nagging of yours.” Tom shakes his head as he looks back at his script, until he realized what just came out of his mouth...complete and utter bullshit that he didn’t mean.

It was Y/N’s turn to be surprised. In fact she was speechless, not really knowing what to say to his rant. It hurt a lot, as if her heart had just broken in a million pieces. If there was one thing you needed to know about Y/N, it was that she valued everyone’s view and opinion of her. So, you can best believe that if someone had a problem with her, she would not take it lightly. When it comes from the person you love the most...well...one can’t even begin to fathom how much it could hurt.

Tears were forming and streaming down her eyes, as small sniffles start to escape. Her tiny hands balling up into a fist. She wasn’t just upset, she was furious. “Well, if thats how you feel then, I don’t know why you’d want to be with a person that doesn’t shut up...Cause clearly I’m not good enough.”

Tom starts to sit up on the bed and lean towards her, trying to apologize profusely, but it was a lost cause that couldn’t be taken back. She runs out of the room with her stuff as she moves to the guest room to cry herself to sleep. Tom stays in their bedroom as he looks up at the ceiling with a disappointed face. “What have I done?” He whispers to himself, only praying they would be able to make up in the morning.

The next day, Tom wakes up extra early to prepare a ‘Sorry I’m such a div. Please forgive me’ breakfast with chocholate chip pancakes, bluerberry smoothies, and apple turnovers from her favorite coffeshop in London. And if that wasn’t enough...he had also brought her a bouquet of red roses. He awaited for her to come down, with everything set. As the boys came by to eat their share of the breakfast, Y/N comes down to akward silence. Everyone staring at her and Tom standing in the middle smiling with flowers in hand.

“Morning Y/N.” The boys say in unison.

“Morning boys...Tom.” Y/N mumbes the last word as she makes her way. They continue to talk and eat amongst themselves as Y/N looks for a seat to sit at, but sadly the only one available is the one next to Tom. He looks at her with his brown puppy dog eyes, silently pleading for her to sit next to him. Y/N gets the message as she rolls her eyes, and tales the seat. He present her the flowers once again, smiling off his boyish charm. “Darling, Im so sorry for the way I acted I didn’t mean it. Please don’t be mad at me. I love you so much.”

Y/N takes the flowers and nods, as she goes back to her breakfast. She ate rather quickly as to make sure she didnt have to deal with anyone and went straight back to the guest room. Tom slouches in his seat, sighing in defeat. “Great the silent treatment.” He says out loud.

“Damn, Tom you must have really fucked up.” Tuwaine said as he took a bite of his pancakes.

“Yeah mate, what did you do?” Harrison asked, intrigued by his best friend’s dilemma.

“You couldn’t hear them? They fought because Tom couldnt do a simple job and then called Y/N a talkative nagging piece of work” Harry answered him, stifiling a laugh. “Im sure the whole world could have heard him.”

“You also forgot, how he said he’d rather be in Berlin than be here with her.” Tuwain mentioned.

Tom glares at his younger brother and Tuwaine, giving them a good shove on the shoulder. “Hey, don’t be mad at me. I’m not the one that had to get his shit together.” Harry defends taking his last bite.

“What do I do? She wont even talk to me and I went through all this work to apologize to her.” Tom asks as he stares at the floor solemnly. “I don’t want her to be mad at me.”

“I don’t know mate. Maybe just earn her trust again. Im sure youll both work it out...you always do.” Harrison reassures him as he makes his way to wash the dishes.

Later that night, Tom passes by Y/N as she makes her way to the bathroom across their bedroom. Tom tried his best to set up the bed as if she was staying with him, fluffing the pillows, pulking down the comforters, and turning up the AC. As Y/N finishes up, she sees him standing at the edge of the bed, waiting for her to join him. “Please? I cleaned up the room and gave you your favorite pillow because you know you cant sleep without it.” He pleads, pouting with his lower lip sticking up.

Y/N looks at the tidy room and the pillow he left her. She smiles when she takes notice of the the one pillow with flowers and ripped edges. It was her favorite pillow since she was 5 and sworn to everyone that it was the only pillowcase she could ever sleep peacefully in. With the thought and gesture Tom made today, Y/N figured it was the least she could do, though it didn’t mean he was forgiven compeltely yet. Tom smiles at his first victory as he climbs in the bed with her. He tries to snuggle closer and wrap his stron arm across her waist, whispering “I love you and I really am sorry.”

Y/N wasn’t too comfortable getting this close still, and ultimately took his hand that was on her waist and dropped it to his side. Tom, felt a slight hinge of sadness when she did that. She never refused his cuddles and anytime they had a fight they would always make up before rhe end of the day. He sighs loudly in silence. Y/N turns around to face his back, and leans over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, which takes him by surprise. “I love you” she whispers, going back to her side of the bed.

The next day, Tom decides to take a quick trip to his parents house, who greet him with ipen arms. Though, both his parents, Paddy and Sam, notice the distress on his face. “What’s wrong son?” Tom’s mum asked with worry.

“Mum, Dad...I messed up.” He cries. “ I was just really stressed out this past week, with the movie, and the fans, and thinking about how I have to leave Y/N for Berlin...I-I- just said a lot of stupid things to her that I didnt mean.”

Tom’s mom rubs her son’s back as she tries to console him and calm his breathing. “There. There. Its going to be okay. You know Y/N loves you so much. Im sure you’ll both get through this.”

“That’s the thing mum. I don’t know if we can. She won’t even talk to me. I made her breakfast gave her flowers and even cleaned our room liek she asked me too. I don’t know what else to do to show her that I truly sorry.I told her I can’t wait to go to Berlin so I did have to hear her talk, but thats far from the truth. I don’t want to leave her when we’ve had all this time together.”

“Hmm...perhaps you should do the things that she doesn’t ask you to do. You know Y/N is also stressed with her job as well, she might not have time to get around to all the things that need to be done. Also tell her how you really feel besides that you’re sorry and you love her. You know both of you have had a hard week and there’s a lot of feelings bottled up inside. Just be honest with your feelings. I know you didn’t mean it and Im sure she knows too.”

Tom smiles at the last sentence, realizing the two haven’t really committed to the rules they promised each other, be honest and communicate with each other. “You’re right, Mum. I cant even remember the last time we really talked.” Tom got up up quickly whiping away the dry tears. “I’m gonna go make things right with Y/N. Thank you for everything. I love you.” Tom hugs his mother, before he makes his way ready to set things right.

As he pulls up to the house, Tom is ince again by the door with flowers in hand. Y/N sliently looks at him as she tilts her head curious as to why he’s on his toes...and with more flowers in hand. “Look you don’t have to say anything because I’m gonna be doing all the talking right now.”

Y/N looks at him in surprise, intrigued to hear what he has to say this time. “Y/N. Im know. im such a dumbass, clueless, and careless bloke who didn’t stop to think about your feelings and the things you wanted from me. I should have helped around more, I should asked how you were , and I definitely should have pushed my luggage to the side of the wall like you asked me too many times.” He says chuckling nervously. “And I know I fucked up, but Im really going to to try to make it an effort to listen more, and help you as much as I can. And Im so sorry for being so distant, I just I had a lot on my mind and the fact that I have to leave you, in two weeks when this has been the longest we’ve spent time together, it made me more sad.” Y/N looks at him with a sympathetic smile, almost ready to accept his apology. “So look, I know you’re probably still mad and everything, but Im really hoping this makes it up for you because I really do love you. Every single thing about you and theres only two more weeks before I leave and I want to spend every day, hour, minute, and second with you.”

There’s silence in the air as Tom looks into her eyes, trying to find some answer. “Every day, hour, minute, and second?” She questions him smiling. Tom’s face lights up with the brightest smile hes ever out on. He drops the flowers and hugs her even more tightly than he did with his mother, spinning her around. Nothing sounded better than hearing her laugh, it’s been far too long. He cups her face, kissing her passionately only to pull away and move the stray hairs from her face. Taking in every single detail of her face. “Yes. Ever day, hour, minute, and second..so lets not waste anymore time.” He grabs her hand as he rushed her to their room.

“Wait, wait, wait!” She yells with laughter. Tom sulks and groans, “Aw, what now?”

“You didnt even ask if I forgave you, yet?”

“Well...” Tom says pretending to think “Do you forgive me?”

Y/N looks at him, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. “Of course I do.”

“Good. Now let’s go. Got to show you how much I appreciate and love you.” Tom smiles as he pulls her away.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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agapaic · 4 years ago

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tianshan top gun-AU drabble. 💞 on behalf of emma’s very generous donation to the ‘justice for jacob blake fund’ @plumb19. if you would like to donate to an organisation supporting black lives in return for a drabble, please see here for more information (closes monday evening). 🌸

///

‘No visual on Farmer! I repeat, no visual on Farmer!’

He Tian’s laugh comes through his headgear. ‘You don’t need a visual on me, sweetheart! This is a race not an op—there’s no bandit here but me!’

Guan Shan grits his teeth. He goes full throttle, flies blind. The finish line is in sight, ten miles out at his twelve o’clock. He can feel his face pulling backwards with the speed, the G-force making him lightheaded. He can’t g-LOC now—he’d die from the shame of acting out the funky chicken before his plane even hit the ground. He Tian will know what happened—he’ll see the Firebird jet tail out, the vape from the tail end stretching skywards.

Faster—fucking faster.

Guan Shan’s eyes dart to his mirrors. All clear. Where the fuck is He Tian? He can’t be ahead of him—there’s no way Guan Shan could go any faster. He’s got the jet firewalled, his head mashed backwards against the headrest. His bones are shaking; his teeth are aching.

He Tian again: ‘Right above you, sweetheart.’

Guan Shan’s head jerks up. He doesn’t know why he bothers looking. There’s nothing there but the roof of the jet: no window. He Tian’s a ghost on his radar.

‘The fuck do you think you are?’ Guan Shan spits, eye locked back on the finish line. The engine roars in his ears. ‘Fuckin’ God?’

He Tian laughs again. Guan Shan doesn’t hate that He Tian’s enjoying this—he hates that he’s enjoying it too. Why shouldn’t he? It’s a game, not a dogfight, and the winner chooses the reward. There’s no bogey or bandit on their trail, no spike on the radar. When’s the last time he got to go full throttle without the fear of a strike?

‘Come on, Guan Shan,’ He TIan croons through the headset. ‘We’re nose for nose.’

‘Are you even tryin’?’ Guan Shan barks back.

‘You should see my hand,’ says He Tian. ‘It’s never wrapped tighter around a stick before.’

Guan Shan swears under his breath. He Tian must hear it: he laughs.

Two miles.

‘Just—get off my back, would’ya?’ he grouches out. ‘Wanna see your face when I beat you over the finish line.’

‘Oh, Ah-Shan. You know I like to finish on top.’

Guan Shan veers.

There’s a damning thud, an awful shriek of metal. He Tian swears over the comms. Everything shakes and the engine judders as the underbelly of each jet scrapes against each other. The sky swings above him, pendulum-like, and an alarm blares somewhere.

Out the corner of Guan Shan’s eye, he sees He Tian’s jet wrench itself away. The Shenyang J-6 sidles up beside his own, evening out. He Tian’s face is shielded by his helmet and the high-alt oxygen mask, but Guan Shan imagines his mouth split open in a wide, white-toothed smile.

Fucker.

‘Daring,’ He Tian comments over the radio, his voice crackling. ‘Nearly took me out with that move. Yourself included.’

Guan Shan breathes shallowly. His heart is beating fast, and he wrestles it under 110. If it goes too high or flatlines Zhan Zhengxi will call in the cavalry from the base.

‘I’m not above playin’ dirty,’ Guan Shan mutters.

‘Oh, I know. You’re not a grape, Mo Guan Shan. Bigger balls than anyone gives you credit for.’

You’d like to think so.

‘At least,’ says He Tian, ‘I’d like to think so.’

700 yards. They’re at break-neck now. A final bend through airspace, and Guan Shan will be over the finish line. His face has started to go numb. He’s conscious only of the pressure in his ears, behind his eyes. Feels like bruising in his eye sockets. His knuckles must be bone-white beneath the gloves.

500 yards from the turn. Guan Shan bites down hard on his lower lip. The jet rattles around him like an earthquake in flight. If he leaves it too late he’ll veer off path and lose seconds he knows he wouldn’t recover. Too early and he might force the jet straight into He Tian’s and they could both go down.

‘You gonna tell me your action plan?’ asks Guan Shan, teeth gritted.

‘Oh, no. I’m leaving this all to you.’

Guan Shan swears, eyes on the blue-skied horizon. 200 yards. ‘Even if I kill us both.’

‘I think you know how to punch out if it gets too much.’

Now. Guan Shan yanks down hard on the controller, the skyline swerves around him; nausea wells in his throat. There’s no collision; he has no visual on He Tian’s jet and no time to wonder why that might be. He makes the turn, levels out, throttles forward to the finish line.

The base comes into view below him, and a green light blinks up at him from ATC like a traffic light.

He’s done it.

Guan Shan throws his head back against the headrest, breathes out shallowly.

A voice comes over the comms. ‘This is Mother to Firebird. Mother to Firebird. How do you hear me?’

‘I hear you,’ Guan Shan says thickly. He starts to drop, pulls back the throttle. He’ll have to do a loop of the base to line up with the runway. He doesn’t mind the victory lap.

There’s a smile in Zhan Zhengxi’s voice. ‘Cleared to land at your leisure. How does first place feel?’

Guan Shan swallows a grin. ‘Affirmative,’ he says. ‘Feels pretty fuckin’ good.’ He checks his mirrors. ‘Where the fuck is Farmer?’

‘Uh, he hasn’t crossed yet. Looks like he pulled back at the finish. Problem with his radar, I think? Jian Yi’s working him through it.’

Guan Shan’s mouth falls open. ‘Bullshit,’ he gasps. ‘Bull. Shit.’

‘Don’t shoot the messenger. Take it up with him.’

Guan Shan glares. He can feel his vision narrowing. He has half a mind to turn the jet around and shoot He Tian down for the sheer fucking hell of it—a fox two, maybe a three if he’s lucky. Guan Shan’s fingers go to the triggers. How fucking dare he?

‘Firebird, did you copy?’

Guan Shan sets his jaw. ‘Affirmative,’ he says flatly.

Take it up with him? He’d better fucking bet.

///

There’s a view of the runway from the changing rooms, a long strip of glass that means Guan Shan knows the exact moment He Tian’s Shenyang J-6 touches down on tarmac and pulls into the hangar. It means, also, he knows exactly how long it will take He Tian—second-place DNF loser—to walk through the base to the changing rooms.

It takes He Tian twenty minutes to land the jet and make his way to the changing room. Twenty minutes for Guan Shan to simmer and get himself close to boiling. The second He Tian walks through the door, he tips over. Guan Shan’s helmet smashes against the floor in fragments of plastic, metal, and glass.

The helmet nearly strikes He Tian in the face, but his reflexes are good. He dodges, swears, looks back to Guan Shan with wide, incredulous eyes. Glass crunches beneath his boot as he moves over to the ceiling-to-floor lockers.

‘Those are expensive, you know?’ He Tian says.

Guan Shan doesn’t care about a fucking helmet. He Tian’s father can foot the bill, mark it off as an extraneous expense. Being the commander of the base has its perks.

‘You fuckin’ fixed it.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ says He Tian, stripping off his gloves. ‘There was a malfunction. Probably after you rammed into me, I suspect.’

‘You let me win,’ Guan Shan growls.

He Tian shrugs. ‘Check the black box if you like. It’s all there.’

‘Who’d you pay to wire it?’

He Tian begins to unbuckle his suit. The black leather sticks to his body like a second skin, suggesting at lean muscle and broad shoulders that bare themselves as He Tian peels back its layers. Nothing about it is standard-issue. It’s been made to fit like a glove. Guan Shan hates it.

‘I didn’t pay anyone, Mo Guan Shan.’

‘Right. You didn’t have to. People will suck your dick around here for a look.’

He Tian looks at him.

Guan Shan snarls. ‘What the fuck do you even get by losing? Are you that fuckin’ desperate to disappoint him?’ He shoves a thumb upwards. Not God, but He Tian’s father, and doesn’t everyone act like he’s the same thing? ‘Fuck me over and bring shame on the family name? Two birds and one stone?’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ He Tian sighs.

‘Fuck, I wanna kill you right now.’

‘Go on, then. Try.’

‘What’s the point?’ Guan Shan sneers. ‘You’ll punch out at the last second. Blame the faulty mechanics.’

A thought strikes him: he could punch him. A realisation: he’s going to.

Five concentrated footsteps, the swing back of his right arm.

His knuckles bruise on He Tian’s cheekbone.

‘Fuck!’ He Tian shouts. He spits blood onto the floor, doubles over at the waist. Guan Shan steps back and his eyes go to the sharp nodules of He Tian’s spine as he bends over, curved out like a penitent. Guan Shan looks at him with disgust.

‘You didn’t even fight back,’ he mutters. ‘Who the fuck has you whipped?’

There’s blood coming from He Tian’s nose; some of it has spattered onto the toe of Guan Shan’s boot. He Tian, Guan Shan realises, is laughing.

‘You’d think—oh, fuck me—you’d think it would be fucking obvious, wouldn’t you?’

Guan Shan stares at him. ‘This ain’t fuckin’ funny—’

‘But it is.’ He Tian winces, straightens, dabs two fingertips against his bloodied nose. ‘You’re a good fucking pilot, Mo Guan Shan, but you are awful with analytics. Never go into the Intelligence sector, okay?

Riddles and disguise. Guan Shan hates it. There’s some truth to He Tian’s words, but he’s glad for it: he’s glad he doesn’t get it. Glad he can’t deal with conundrum and complexity. In the ten years they’ve been at this—flight school, their junior years, coming close to leading, wingmen by virtue of their shared skills—he’s never stopped hating the enigma He Tian enjoys wrapping himself around like a coat keeping him warm through the winter.

‘I don’t have time for this.’

He turns to his locker; he’ll take his clothes back to his room, save changing for somewhere that rHe Tian can see him. He doesn’t want to be here anymore. He clicks in the combination, tugs the door open with a metallic clank. A hand falls to the locker beside him, just brushing the side of his head, and Guan Shan can feel the heat of He Tian’s bare chest through the fabric over his back.

Guan Shan swallows. ‘Move.’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘I’ll hit you again.’

‘I might put up a fight this time—even if it’s you.’

Guan Shan stills. ‘The fuck is that supposed to mean?’

‘What do you think?’

Guan Shan squeezes his eyes shut. ‘Tell me. Please, just fuckin’ tell me.’ Put me outta my misery.

He Tian’s mouth is level with his ear, and Guan Shan shudders as hot air moves across his neck. He Tian is too close. Guan Shan’s body still aches from the G-force, a strain that will last through the night, but he can’t distinguish it from anything else that might be bruising its way through his narrow veins like swallowing a tablet dry. Guan Shan puts his forehead on the frame of his open locker; the metal is cool to his skin.

‘Why do you think,’ He Tian murmurs, silken, ‘I would make sure you won?’

‘I don’t—’

‘Why do you think,’ he says, ‘I’d let you hit me if that’s what you wanted?’

If that’s what you wanted.

Guan Shan’s voice is tight. ‘I never wanted to win if you made yourself lose.’

There’s a pause. He Tian says, ‘You said you’d quit if you lost. Before the race. You said you’d move somewhere else if you couldn’t be number one here.’

Guan Shan frowns. ‘I was—that was a joke. I was just settin’ the stakes.’

He Tian moves. He’s a few paces back when Guan Shan turns to face him. His expression is unreadable, and Guan Shan’s head is working on overdrive trying to keep track of the conversation and all its hidden nuance.

‘Are you sayin’—you did that to keep me from leavin’? You seriously thought I’d quit over some stupid race?’

‘It wasn’t a stupid race. It was you and me—’

‘I’m never gonna be as fast as you,’ says Guan Shan slowly. ‘You’re never gonna be as good a shot as me. I know where we’re strong and I know where we’re not. I’m not gonna quit ‘cause of some stupid competition with you.’

‘But I didn’t know that.’

Guan Shan swallows. There’s a heat to He Tian’s words that blisters. He doesn’t know what to say. He’s conscious that He Tian is half-dressed before him and that there’s blood drying on his chin.

‘I’m not leavin’,’ Guan Shan tells him, feeling oddly inclined to reassure him. He Tian. The stalwart bastard who never gives him a break. Guan Shan can’t stop himself: ‘I’m—we’re a good team. General Qiu said we’re one of the best this fuckin’ base has seen in twenty years.’

‘You hate being my wingman,’ He Tian says flatly.

Guan Shan’s eyebrow quirks. ‘I get first seat watchin’ you fuck up and take none of the damage.’

He Tian drags a hand over his face. ‘God, he’s good,’ he mutters to himself. Louder, he says, ‘So if you weren't quitting if you lost, what did you want if you won?’

‘Probably the same as you,’ says Guan Shan carefully.

‘Ha!’ He Tian crows. His eyes darken. ‘Oh, I doubt it sweetheart.’

‘Wanna bet?’

He Tian’s brows lift. A smirk spreads slowly across his face, arrogance coming into steady effect. He swaggers forward.

‘My request,’ he murmurs, ‘would’ve been you.’

Guan Shan closes off his expression, puts his walls up. The news comes as no surprise: He Tian’s been clear with his intentions since they were in flight school, tugging at heartstrings like pigtails. Guan Shan doesn’t mind anymore. He’s used to it. He knows, with He Tian, the offer of intimacy is only sex and doesn’t go further. The walls Guan Shan has built are thick with cement.

Behind them, another jet comes into land. The windows rattle.

Guan Shan breathes out slowly, waits for the engine sound to fade. ‘Like I said,’ he starts, lifting his gaze from the floor. ‘Probably the same as you.’

It takes He Tian a few seconds. Guan Shan takes it as a win—a real one.

‘You—’ He Tian swallows. ‘So, all this time—all of our fighting. You could have just said so.’

‘Could’ve,’ Guan Shan admits. ‘But I never wanted sex, He Tian. I mean—I never just wanted it. Not like you.’

He Tian blinks at him. ‘Maybe I wasn’t clear. When I said I wanted to give you what you wanted: I meant it. Every word.’

‘You’re gonna regret that.’

He Tian nods slowly. ‘Very possibly,’ he says.

They’re close enough that when Guan Shan reaches out a hand and loops his fingers around He Tian’s wrist, He Tian comes forward with ease. His smile is indulgent.

He Tian continues: ‘But I’m willing to take a fox three for it.’

Guan Shan rolls his eyes. His fingers knot themselves in He Tian’s hair, and his mouth comes down to meet his willingly.

‘Shut the fuck up, He Tian.’

#19 days #tianshan #donation drabble

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random-sanders-shite · 5 years ago

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Polysanders; Panic Attack

Trigger warning

Panic attacks

Mention of cutting

Self depreciation

Swearing

Use of medication

[[More]]

Virgils P.O.V

I was a dinner when it started. Roman had said something about a party and i felt the nervousness begin to bundle. Then he began to get into a conversation about being fed up with not being able to go because of me. Logan and Patton both tried to calm him but suddenly he stood from his chair so quickly the chair fell back and his hands were smacked onto the table in fists shaking our glasses.

My eyes widen and i visibly flinch as he sat back down "I'm not the disorder here..."

That hit me... The choked back tears, the sweat and the growing heat in the room. I stood and force a calm voice "I'll be right back. Need... Restroom"

I ignore the worry glances of Patton and Logan and hwad straight to the bathroom. I step in and in one swift moment I'm closing the door and pressing my back against the door. I lock the door carefully and slide down to the floor hugging my knees. My breatheing is getting bad by now and i was constantly trying to bury my face in my knees.

No ones P.O.V

Virgil had begun to cry and he didn't realize hownloud he was getting until it caught the attention of a certain worried Dad. Patton stood and made his way over to the bathroom door followed by Roman and Logan. Roman felt a pang of guilt hit his soul at the sound of the younger traits cries. Patton pressed his ear agaisnt the door and heard what he would never forget

"They hate you... They hate you... Useless... Cut not like they care... Just do it..." Virgil mumbled to himself "No... I promised i wouldn't do it... I promised Myself..."

He kept trying to calm himself down but what really scared Patton was the sound of silence and then a drawer. The drawer that had a fairly loud squeak. The razor drawer. Patton then tried opening the door quickly.

Logan looked at Patton "what is the matter?"

Patton looked up at Logan with tesrs in his baby blue eyes "he's getting a Razor!"

Romans eyes widen as well and in a matter of seconds roman was running to his room and coming back with a hammer.

Virgil was lost in thought and had a razor in hand. He fought with himself until he dropped it to the floor. Virgil looked at himself in the mirror. The black eyeshadow traveled down his pale cheeks and his hair was a mess. His eyes were red and he was shaking. He closed his eyes and looked away. He then heard a loud clash of metal and jumped. He looked around and spotted the bathtub. He carefully climbed in andhid behind rhe curtain. He pressed his knees to his chest and his face into his knees. He began to cry again it muffled.

Finally on the other side of the door Roman had busted the door knob off and it fell with a clang to the floor. He kicked open the door and spotted nothing immediantly until he saw the razor on the floor. The clear plastic seal was still on showing Virgil hadn't used it. Patton let our a sigh of relief and looked around and listened carefully to the crying and followed it to the bathtub. He carefully moved the curtain away to show the smaller trait curled up on his side in a ball.

That broke the three older mens hearts. Roman went to touch Virgils shoudler but his hand was stopped by Pattons hand "Don't. You could send him into it deeper. Talk first."

With that he let go of Romans hand and he placed it back in his lap. He looked at Virgil as did the others. Roman carefully spoke "Virgil? Hey. I'm sorry... I didn't meam to get so mad..."

Virgil carefully looks up at him. The sight hurt Roman. Virgils reddened face. He had rubbed most of his eye shadow off with his sleeves and hsi nose was runny. Tears streamed his face and his eyes looked tired.

Patton spoke up as well "kiddo... Can i touch you. I want to get you out of the tub"

Virgil nods to him gently and in a few seconds Patton was carefully scooping Virgil up from the tub and resting him agaidnt his chest. Virgil buried his face in Pattons chest and cried silently. Logan looked between the 3 and stood "i am going to go check on Thomas" and with that he left the 3 alone

Virgil was still shakeing and crying softly. Roman carefully placed a hand on his shoulder and Patton smiles to him which Virgil couldn't see. Virgils crying became a little less spuratic and just small hiccups and whimpers. Roman leaned down a bit to catch Virgils eyes. He noticed Virgil was clutching his right arm and moved his hand to carefully touch it. At first Virgil flinched but then eased to exhausted to fight. Roman gives Patton a look of fear and Patton understood what he wanted. He wanted to see Virgils arm. He hoped he was wrong with what he would find.

Patron shifted Virgil so his back was agaisnt Pattons chest. Virgil covered his mouth and face with one hand as to hide his face. Roman looks at Virgil and carefully began to roll his sleeves up to show white gauze wrapped around his arm all.the way up to his elbow. Patton sighed gently and buried his face in the back of Virgils hair. Roman ran a thumb over them gently but Virgil didn't wince showing they were old. Roman hugs Virgil suddenly and Virgil let a small gasp escape his lips but he lets Roman hug him. In fact he even hugged back weakly. Patton smiles and kisses Virgils head gently. Roman carefully moves his legs so he could easily transfer Virgil from Pattons lap to his own. Patton helped and then stood "I'll be right abcl with your medicine kiddo..."

Virgil was on medicine for his anxiety. Logan had found a way to replicate it in the mind for Virgils personal anxiety. Patton left to get it and that left Roman and Virgil cuddled on the floor. Roman shofts yet again to have Virgil in his arms in a princess style "let's get you too your room Virge"

Virgil nods gently and Roman sunk out the emo in his arms. They appeared in a bedroom very much decorated to match the emo nightmares liking. The bed however wasn't what Roman was expecting. It was a bit bed with purple sheets and a black comforter. It had stuffed animals of all sorts near the top and various pillows of all sizes. Roman smiles to Virgil who now rest in his chest. Roman walked over and movwd the blankets out of the way. He carefully places Virgil on the bed but Virgils grip on Romans sleeve was tight not allowing him to leave "Please... Please stay with me..."

Virgils voice was cracky and sad. Roman nods gently and sat on the edge of the bed. Soon Patton came in with a cup of water and a hand holding a capsule like pill. Virgil carefully took the pill and drank the water. He set the half full cup on the bedside table and looked at Patton "can you guys... Lay with me?"

Virgil was more clingy when he was tired and scared. Patton nods and calls for Logan. They had done this before jusy had big cuddle nights. Logan walked in with Thomas. Thomas wasn't affected by Virgils Panic attack, thank god.

Logan and Thomas came over and crawled in the bed closest to the wall. Virgil scooted closer to them and Logan ler him bury his face into his chest. Roman came up behind Virgil and carefully laced his arms around his torso and rests his chin on the shoulder. Pattons smiles and flicks the light off and crawls in last. They all slept there for the night. While sleeping the anxiety affect didn't take place so it was a peaceful night.

#Sanders sides #tw cutting #tw crying #polysanders #virgil in the bathroom #tw panic attacks #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #thomas sanders #patton sanders

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paige-is-just-fine · 6 years ago

Text

PolySanders Panic attack one-shot

Trigger warning

Panic attacks

Mention of cutting

Self depreciation

Swearing

Use of medication

Virgils P.O.V

My eyes widen and i visibly flinch as he sat back down "I'm not the disorder here..."

That hit me... The choked back tears, the sweat and the growing heat in the room. I stood and force a calm voice "I'll be right back. Need... Restroom"

No ones P.O.V

"They hate you... They hate you... Useless... Cut not like they care... Just do it..." Virgil mumbled to himself "No... I promised i wouldn't do it... I promised Myself..."

Logan looked at Patton "what is the matter?"

Patton looked up at Logan with tesrs in his baby blue eyes "he's getting a Razor!"

Romans eyes widen as well and in a matter of seconds roman was running to his room and coming back with a hammer.

That broke the three older mens hearts. Roman went to touch Virgils shoudler but his hand was stopped by Pattons hand "Don't. You could send him into it deeper. Talk first."

With that he let go of Romans hand and he placed it back in his lap. He looked at Virgil as did the others. Roman carefully spoke "Virgil? Hey. I'm sorry... I didn't meam to get so mad..."

Patton spoke up as well "kiddo... Can i touch you. I want to get you out of the tub"

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #polysanders #panic attack #fluff

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stoopsbookstore · 6 years ago

Text

Soundproof

Warnings - it's a foursome smut with the members of Torture line, a lot of fucking shit happens, biting, teasing, handcuffs, toys, oral, light choking, clothed sex (Y/N wears her bra and stockings for the romp), leather gloves, filming, just a giant ball of filth, dear God I don't know what else to put. Have fun

"I think I like this kid," Johnny groaned, holding a pair of handcuffs. Y/N didn't do anything to cover her body up, instead doing the exact opposite, arching her back to take off her dress.

"Are you gonna share, Kun?" Doyoung asked as he palmed his member through his pants, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable tightness.

"It's up to her," Kun said as the two men started walking closer. All 3 stood over Y/N, who had been playing with her nipples and started to reach for her panties. She stared at all 3 guys, who were staring back with lion-like glares as if she was a lost lamb. She leaned up, grabbing the handcuffs from Johnny.

"Shut the door, you'll find out if this room really is soundproof," Y/N moaned as Kun lunged at her, grabbing one of her wrists and chaining it to the bedframe with the handcuffs. Johnny threw off his shirt while Doyoung pulled down his pants and boxers, stroking himself slowly. Kun left the room as Johnny started to kiss Y/N, peeling off her panties at an agonizingly slow pace. He kept nipping on her lips, moving to her neck, so he could paint it with hickies as Kun re-entered the room.

As Johnny stood up to remove his pants, Y/N positioned herself on all fours, struggling to move her wrist chained to the bed. She reached down to use her free hand to take off her stockings, but she felt a smack of leather on her ass. She turned her head to see Kun, holding a pair of leather glove and a devious smirk on his face.

"You keep those on, darling," his eyes were blown out as he puts on the gloves, grabbing a handful of Y/N's ass as she moaned out Kun's name. Doyoung grabbed her chin, making her face him with anger in his eyes.

"Holy shit, Doyoung," she felt him tug her face closer, as if he was about to kiss her.

"It's Sir today, princess. Who do you want first?" Doyoung commanded.

Kun was in the corner, setting up a camera as Johnny stood next to Doyoung, holding something behind his back.

"To be fair, Kun was the one to have star- Oh my god," in the middle of her sentence, Doyoung had walked up to the bed and started moving a vibrator on her clit. Y/N swayed her hips in time with the tall male's movement as he swirled the toy around Y/N's clit. Kun sat next to the girl on the bed and started to kiss her with as much passion as he could muster, a nice contrast between Johnny's roughness from the earlier kiss. A smack to Y/N's ass caused her to yelp in a painful pleasure.

Y/N had moved from all fours to straddling Kun as she continued to kiss him. Johnny had handed Kun a condom and he opened it, rolling it on his shaft as Doyoung stood behind Y/N, pinching at her nipples. Kun had placed his head on Y/N's shoulder as he begun to rub his cock on her slit.

"Are you ready, darling?" She shivered ar rhe nickname, barely whimpering an OK. The Chinese male started humping her, starting at a slow pace, teasing Y/N by not yet sliding in. Doyoung unlocked the handcuff from the bedframe, grabbing Y/N's other wrist.

"Turn around, I think you'll like what me and Tokki are about to do," Y/N turned on Kun's lap, sitting on him like a chair. He slid in with ease as he allowed Y/N time to adjust. Doyoung had handcuffed Y/N's hands together as he knelt down, breathing on her slit.

"Whenever you're ready, Y/N" the youngest male teased as she begun to roll her hips. Johnny stood in the corner with the camera, recording every movement as he rubbed himself through his boxers.

"Hey Raccoon," Kun turned his head to Johnny, demanding actions as if he was a director, "her breasts look lonely, why don't you help her?"

Kun took his hands off Y/N's hips and begun to roam up her body, pulling down her bra as he played with her nipples when Doyoung begun to eat her out. Doyoung was sucking on her clit as she humped his face and fucked Kun.

"Hey angel," Y/N didn't turn to face Johnny, pissing him off. He put the camera on the table, facing the bed, as he walked to Y/N, pulling her face to face him, "your hands seem to be a bit stuck, why don't you pull Tokki's hair?"

Johnny let go of her face as she pulled Doyoung's hair, earning her a moan from the male that she felt vibrate through her body. Kun begun to suck on her neck, keeping his hand at the base of her neck, as he started to take control when he felt his high coming on. Doyoung started to nip and suck harder on Y/N's clit , trying to get her to one out of hopefully multiple orgasms of the night. Kun pushed Doyoung away as he started to rub Y/N's clit and hump her as fast as he could. Y/N begun to moan and yell louder than before as Kun reached for the vibrator on the bed and rubbing Y/N's sensitive nub with it, using his other gloved hand to hold her neck closer to him. Y/N arched her back as she felt her orgasm shake her body, Kun still moving his hips as he begun to spill in the condom. The Chinese male helped Y/N get off of him and lay on the bed as he stood up to throw away the dirtied condom.

Doyoung decided it was his turn now, immediately going to lay on top of Y/N as he begun to kiss her. Doyoung, although a man of very little emotions, was a sweet lover when it comes to Y/N. He always had his eyes on Y/N, so finally getting to be with her was Heaven to him, even if he had to share.

"Angel, are you okay with a second round?" He asks with a genuine smile, Y/N nodding as they continued to make out. Kun had taken off his gloves and put on his pants as Johnny took the camera.

"Now, darling, Raccoon over there, albeit new, has had a liking towards you for a while now, you know that," Johnny spoke as he filmed the two on the bed as Doyoung leaned up to pull his pants down just enough to release his dick, "we call this one Tokki because he looks like a rabbit, let's see if he also fucks like one."

Doyoung slid in as Y/N wrapped her legs around his waist, moving her hips to encourage him to start. His pace was slower than Kun's, but it felt as if it was more sincere. Instead of just fucking, it actually felt like he was making love to Y/N, something sweet and nice, a sharp contrast to his alter ego, "Tokki."

"You feel so good, Y/N. I could go for hours if it wasn't for the other assholes in the room," Doyoung whispered in her ear as she clawed down his back, the cool chain of the handcuffs a soothing sensation, "how does it feel, darling?"

Y/N couldn't form a single sentence beyond moaning. Doyoung pulled her leg to hang on his shoulder as his hips move faster and deeper at the new angle. A particular hard thrust had Y/N writhing from the pleasure.

"I asked you a question, baby."

"Ama- oh God, fucking spec- spectacular, sir," Y/N moaned as Kun sat beside her, filming where Doyoung and her met.

"What do you think of our princess right here, Chainsaw?"Kun asked the male sitting on the desk. Johnny started walking over to Kun, taking the camera from him as Kun pulled Y/N's face to be eye level with his cock.

"One of the best I ever met," Johnny bit his lips as Y/N opened her mouth, allowing Kun to slide in as Doyoung pulled out to paint her stomach with his essence. Doyoung stumbled to grab his shirt from the floor, gently wiping Y/N as Kun tries to resist the urge to face-fuck her. Johnny took the key to the handcuffs, freeing Y/N from them as she moved away from Kun, getting off the bed to kneel on the floor. Kun moved to sit in the edge of the bed, pulling up Y/N to share a kiss on the lips as Y/N leaned down to kiss the tip of his cock.

"Don't tease me, angel. I don't like to get teased," Kun growled as Johnny and Doyoung smirked at Y/N, the younger male leaving the room to grab something while Johnny kneeled behind Y/N, leaving the camera on the table. Johnny put his head down as he bit on Y/N's neck, causing her to moan as she sucked Kun off. Johnny slid in as he begun to fuck Y/N as the three heard rattling from the other room.

Doyoung came back with what looked like a box of items, taking out something with two clips and a bigger vibrator. Doyoung walked over to the group, handing Johnny the vibrator, which he put straight to use. Doyoung pulled Y/N's bra down more, clipping something on both of her nipples as she removed her mouth to scream.

"Oh fu- oh fucking shit, oh m-my God. Fuck me," Y/N moaned as she used her hands to move up and down Kun's shaft, not even bothering to keep quiet, fucking herself on Johnny, who had dropped the vibrator he was holding.

"Don't leave me out, darling," Doyoung grabbed her chin as she welcomed him with an open mouth, fully excepting him. Doyoung stood as Y/N moaned and sloppily licked his shaft, moving her hand on Kun's and humping Johnny. If anyone were to come in, Y/N would die of embarrassment, but at least she would die just being fucked by 3 handsome guys.

Doyoung, still sensitive from his first orgasm, came after a few minutes, coating Y/N's tongue with white streaks as he milked it by moving his hand up and down his shaft. Kun started to thrust into Y/N's hand as she turned to him, Johnny thrusting at a mad pace, attempting to get him and Y/N to their high at the same time. Kun soon came, Y/N managing to catch some of it in her mouth. Kun and Doyoung both stood up from their positions, Kun grabbing the box and Doyoung grabbing the camera.

"Come on, sweetie. I know you're almost there, I know we can do this together," Johnny mumbled into her neck, leaving kisses and hickies as he moved his hand to tug on the chain of the clamps, pulling her nipples as she could only moan in pleasure at this point.

Johnny grabbed the fallen vibrator as he started to change his pace to fit Y/N's needs. Biting on her neck, actually drawing blood, causing Y/N to be screaming at this point, Johnny muster up his strength to wildly rub the vibrator on the girl's sensitive little nub. Johnny was too far gone, he had realized him and Y/N were now soaked, Kun and Doyoung speechless by the event.

"You got that, right Tokki?" Kun asked. Doyoung couldn't say anything but nod. Johnny gently took the clamps off of Y/N as she tried her best to climb on the bed before Kun decided to help her. All 3 males had put their clothes back on, Doyoung still shirtless, as Johnny walked over to cover Y/N with the blanket.

"Hol- holy fucking shit," Y/N moaned, still coming down from her high, "I do- don't want that to be a o-one time thing. I can be you- be your test dummy for any new tools."

The guys standing up were shocked. Most, if not all, people they meet up with run away as soon as they went all BDSM, so Y/N saying that, with a sleepily devious smirk on her face, was a shoot to their nerves and a massive boost to their ego.

"You're just saying that because you're still loo-"

Kun smacked Doyoung upside the head, "go to bed, we can talk later."

Doyoung and Johnny had left the room, cleaning up the basement before Taeyong checked on their progress. Kun went to walk out of the room, but was stopped by Y/N grabbing her wrist. Kun chuckled at the girl whose face was half melted into the pillow as she tried to pull him towards her. Kun took the hint, taking off his shirt and laying next to her, letting her rest her head on his bare chest.

Taeyong had shown up a few minutes later, looking through the basement. When he got to the door, he opened it to see Kun and Y/N soundly asleep, the TV playing some corny 90s retrospective from VH1. Taeyong turned to Johnny and Doyoung, eyebrow cocked.

"What the hell happened to them?" The leader asked. Johnny and Doyoung turned to each other, eyes bugged wide as they weren't excepting for the room actually be soundproof enough to cover Y/N's screams. Johnny turned to Taeyong and with a shake of his head,

"Oh, nothing. They probably just fooled around and got tired."

Taeyong shrugged, the three leaving Kun and Y/N as Johnny and Doyoung high-fived behind them. When the coast was clear, Kun opened his eyes and shook Y/N awake.

"Were you serious when you said this isn't a one time thing?"

"With you," Y/N cuddled into the male's chest even more, "hell no."

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