#i need like a week where i don't see *anyone*
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hii! could i request the arcane women comforting reader on her period?
of course! thank you for the request <3
b2b by charli xcx on repeat yuuuup
summary; headcanons of the arcane women comforting their girlfriend on her period.
characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn, maddie
tags/warnings; menstruation, fluff, comfort, suggestive (jinx's section), reader has hell periods, mentions of poor mental health, can't think of anything else honestly
minors and men dni.
jinx;
✧.* idk why, but i headcanon that jinx is one of those super lucky girls who has really light 3-4 day long periods. basically nothing at all.
✧.* so when you told her that your periods were long, and heavy, and painful, she was honestly taken aback. jinx was a bit puzzled as to how that's possible.
✧.* "but mine aren't that bad! are you suuure?"
✧.* she doesn't mean anything by it, she's just genuinely perplexed. sometimes it's difficult for jinx to put these kinds of things into perspective. however, the second she sees you doubled over in pain, clutching your stomach and whimpering in pain, her instincts kick in and she's rushing to your side.
✧.* "oh- oh, toots, are you okay?! what happened? why d'ya look so hurt?" she'd ask, crouching down next to you with panic evident in her voice.
✧.* "just... on my period," you'd strain. "nothing out of the ordinary. don't worry about me."
✧.* jinx absolutely will worry about you, though. she's by your side, asking you what you need. since her own periods are so mild, she doesn't know exactly where to start with this sort of thing. but she's doing her best.
✧.* she'll research! she finds out all about the cravings, mood swings, pains, and how to soothe all of those things. she nerds out when she gets to research anyways, but she'll go above and beyond to make sure her girl is comfortable and happy. as much as you can be during shark week, anyways.
✧.* the same day she finds you in pain, she's swiping things from shelves of pharmacies and convenience stores like no tomorrow. pain medicine, water bottles that she plans to heat up, chocolates, tubs of ice cream, blankets, lots of sanitary products. hell, she'll even burn a few dvds so the two of you can have movie nights. jinx doesn't do anything halfway, especially not something like this.
✧.* even more clingy than normal somehow. i imagine jinx runs pretty cold, but also has a lot of natural body heat, if that makes sense? she uses the guise of being your 'built-in heating pad,' though anyone can tell she just wants to be close to you and comfort you. she'll have both her arms and legs wrapped around you, nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck and peppering kisses along the soft skin.
✧.* "mm.. don't mind me, sugar. just wanna be here for 'ya, help you feel better 'n all that."
✧.* she's got such a sweet tooth, jinx might swipe a few of the snacks she stole for you while you're not looking... sorry. she can't help herself
✧.* will try to distract you to the best of her ability. movie nights as i said, as well as taking you around the streets of zaun (when you can manage to stand upright), gaming with you and purposely letting you win just so she can see your smile and hear your laugh.
✧.* along with the extra clingy thing, jinx will not let you out of your sight until she's absolutely sure that you're off your period. it's not that she doesn't think you can handle yourself, but she just worries so much. part of her knows it's irrational, but seeing you in so much pain eats at her inside, makes her afraid that she's going to lose you. even though it's just a natural part of your cycle
✧.* she's also read that other kinds of relief can be especially helpful for cramps, so you know jinx will be offering that to you if you know what i mean.
vi;
✧.* oh she's right there with you.
✧.* has the worst fucking periods known to man. it's like she's completely MIA as soon as it hits every month, she's just dead to the world. trust me, she understands.
✧.* which means that she can help you that much better! she knows firsthand what it's like and what works for her, but she also knows that it's not a one-size-fits-all situation. it'll take a bit of time, but vi knows what she's doing.
✧.* she's already got a stash of things lined up for you in her bathroom the day after you tell her you've gotten your period. panty liners, pads, tampons of different sizes. she doesn't even bother asking what you prefer to use, she just wants you to have the options depending on what you need at what time. only the best for her girl
✧.* fridge, freezer and cupboards are also full to the brim of your favorite snacks, the best medications. candies, chocolates, baked goods, ice cream, pain relief... all the good stuff.
✧.* don't even bother asking where she got all this stuff and how she could afford it, just let vi take care of you.
✧.* "shh, cupcake. that's for me to worry about. you sit your pretty self down and let me do all the hard work, 'kay?"
✧.* has heated blankets and water bottles ready for you at all times! the second she hears the slightest whimper of pain from you she's got the water bottle in her hand, instructing you to lean back so she can put it against your lower abdomen. she'll stay with you to make sure you're okay. she needs that reassurance both for you and herself.
✧.* vi is the type of lover who can't rest until she knows for sure that you're okay, regardless of how much you tell her that you're alright.
✧.* "i'm fine, baby. really, you don't need to worry about me." you'd say, though the way your face contorted in discomfort betrayed your words. "are you sure? you can't fool me, pretty. i know you're hurting. just let me help you. that's what i'm here for."
✧.* she also knows that insomnia comes with menstruation at times, so she'll make sure you sleep in her bed until you're off your period. holding you close, rubbing soothing circles over your back and stomach to help relieve some of the pain for you. don't worry about clinging to her, don't worry about how long it takes you to fall asleep or even the possibility of bleeding onto her sheets. vi just wants to make you feel comfortable, she'll take care of everything later.
✧.* doesn't let you do a damn thing for yourself. she almost treats you as if you're made of glass. it's not that thinks you're helpless, vi knows damn well just how fierce and independent you are. but she also enjoys taking care of you and knowing she's making your life easier.
✧.* "i'm on my period, not helpless." you'd protest, crossing your arms over your chest with a light pout. vi would chuckle to herself, playfully pinching one of your cheeks. "i know, i know. but i just wanna do this for you, okay? let me take care of you."
mel;
✧.* mel probably knows your cycle by heart after a certain amount of time being with you. not in a creepy way, but she's just that connected and attuned to you.
✧.* she'll come to you a few days before she knows you're due for your period, concern evident in her tone. "are you starting to cramp at all, dear?" she'd ask, or something along the lines of, "i know you're due soon. no discomfort? any cravings? you can tell me these things, darling."
✧.* she has a constant stash of things and she knows your preferences when it comes to hygiene products, snacks, medicine, all of your favorite comforts. she truly knows you like the back of your hand.
✧.* she'll be taking off work for you as well, as much as you protest and assure her that you're okay. realistically, mel knows sure and well that you're okay. but she still wants that time to be with you and make sure that you're comfortable and you're in as little pain as possible. it's more for her own peace of mind.
✧.* her own are honestly pretty moderate, not too bad but not exactly pleasant either. though again, she's attuned to your own senses and knows exactly what you need.
✧.* mel will be basically attached to you by the hip. she doesn't let you out of her sight for a second out of pure worry for you and your well-being. seeing you nauseous, craving the most odd foods, doubled over in pain, it hurts your girlfriend to even think about. she knows she can't outright prevent all of that, but it'll ease her mind to be there by your side.
✧.* mel doesn't insist that you take it easy, she knows that life goes on despite everything. she doesn't want to hover over you too much, but again, she'll be by your side. helping you run errands, walking you to and from work, watching from the sidelines as you do those little things that make you happy. painting, reading, writing... any of it.
✧.* it's a well-known fact that she loves to spoil you, so if you mention wanting anything at all, she won't even go out and buy it for you. she'll take you to the store with her and tell you to just buy whatever you'd like. no limits.
✧.* "anything at all, beautiful. let me treat you." "but mel, this is-" she'd shush you lightly, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "too much? nonsense. i can handle it, you just tell me what you need. it pains me to see you so uncomfortable, regardless of how natural it is."
✧.* holding onto you so tightly, and you just know mel would give the best massages. literally anywhere that's sore, she'll massage for you with such love and care. her fingertips are a bit calloused and rough, but always so soft with you.
✧.* also runs you warm baths and even tosses in salts and flowers! they help her a lot when she's having period-related pains, so she hopes they'll have the same effect on you. she's happy to leave you to yourself, or sit near the edge of the tub and just talk to you. whatever would make you the most comfortable and happy.
sevika;
✧.* she's also got pretty mild periods, but she is very attuned to you and your senses. sevika can't exactly feel your pain and discomfort, though she knows how to ease it.
✧.* trust me when i say that she's got a good supply of things for you. all the sanitary products you could need, extra-strength pain medications, heated blankets, heat pads, snacks, the whole nine yards. uncomfortable and hurting? not on sevika's watch.
✧.* "just tell me what ya need, darlin'. you know i'll get it." she'd say, spooning you tightly while one hand rests over your lower stomach. you'd mumble light protests, but she wouldn't have it. "i know you're okay, babe. you tell me that enough. but i still wanna help, okay?"
✧.* so touchy and so clingy. sevika doesn't want to let go of you for a second, not if she can help it. whether that be holding you from behind while you move about the kitchen cooking, holding you close to her in bed, keeping an arm around your waist as you saunter around the lanes together, or brushing her lips against your forehead, she relishes that contact. especially when you're vulnerable like this.
✧.* she still has things to do. unfortunately, sevika's job isn't really one that she can take time off from, as much as she'd like to. but the second she gets off work, she's back home, by your side. your girlfriend is so loyal, so doting when it comes to you. a side of the usually gruff woman that's reserved exclusively for you.
✧.* she also won't hinder you from doing anything for yourself, the last thing she needs is for you to feel both excruciating pain and helplessness at the same time. however, sevika makes it clear that she's happy to take over whatever task you need if it gets to be too much.
✧.* you could be in the middle of a task when a cramp suddenly hits you, making you nearly fold in half and clutch at your stomach. "hey, what's wrong?" sevika would ask, cold metal against your shoulder. "cramps? come on, i'll take it from here. you go lay down."
✧.* do not worry about needing to ask for help with sevika. ever. she's more than happy to provide it for you, don't worry about asking for 'too much' or being 'too demanding.' you're her girlfriend, and you're on your period. there's no such thing as either of those with her.
✧.* "come on. you know whatever it is, i'll do it for you. so tell me," she'd pause, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow in that way she typically does, "what do you need, dove?"
✧.* also super attentive during sleep, would probably stay up just so that she can make sure you're okay and sleeping through the night. sevika is used to running on little to no sleep, thank her line of work. she'll try to keep it quiet, not let you know that she's observing, but she just worries. she wants to make sure you aren't suffering any bouts of insomnia. that, and seeing your peaceful expression during slumber is a plus.
caitlyn;
✧.* caitlyn gets it, she really does. one of piltover's strongest enforcers and officials, but struck down once a month by menstruation. something had to take her down a notch.
✧.* she knows exactly what'll help her, and she hopes it'll help you too. though she gives you options, since she knows you probably won't have all the same preferences as her when it comes to sanitary products, snacks, care, etc. cait will take her time so that she gets your routine down pat, before she eventually just has everything stocked in her home for when the time inevitably comes every month.
✧.* caitlyn is constantly checking in on you. she’ll ask you about every little thing, making sure that you’re not straining too hard, not in too much pain. you could be sitting on your bed, folding towels, and caitlyn would ask something like, “are you sure that’s not too much right now? if your back or stomach is hurting, i can take over.”
✧.* she’ll want to keep you at home with her on the days that are the hardest on you. the days where you’re groaning in pain, you can barely think straight from just how uncomfortable you are. when you’re an emotional mess from the mood swings and crying over a puppy you saw on the street. she wants to be there to comfort you and help you get back on your feet.
✧.* “shh… love, it’s fine. i know, that puppy was adorable.” you’d sniffle, looking up at her with pleading eyes. “can we get one, cait? please?” she’d chuckle quietly, letting out a heavy sigh. “maybe when i don’t have so much on my plate.”
✧.* she's on top of your every need. in pain? here's a bottle of painkillers. cravings? she's already got whatever you need. in the case that she doesn't, caitlyn is in the kitchen making something for you herself. she'll be damned if she lets her girlfriend go unsatisfied, especially on her period.
✧.* she'd be so doting especially when it comes to the pain, caitlyn wants to just hold you until all of the cramps are gone. realistically, she knows there's not much she can do besides offer a few over-the-counter methods. she's gonna have to wait until they run their course, but it doesn't make her want to cling to you any less. she wishes she could hold you and you'd feel the rest of the world melt away
✧.* "fuck, cait, it hurts," you'd whimper, clinging tight to the girl with your brows knitted together. she'd softly hush you, her one hand slipping under the fabric of your top to run soothing circles over your lower back. "i know, darling. i'm here, it'll be alright."
✧.* cait would run you warm baths as well, she's at your side the entire times. she'll throw in flower petals and salts, maybe even a bath bomb if it'll make you happy. not only will it help ease the pain, but making you feel cared for in this time is of the upmost importance to her. yes, you feel gross, but you don't have to! look at the nice bath she drew you! she'll even help wash you off if you need it, or she's happy to just stay by your side and talk to you as you soak.
maddie;
✧.* maddie's own are pretty moderate, but she has a cut-and-dry routine she's stuck to as a teenager. works like a charm every time her period rolls around, so she hopes those methods will work for you. though, if they don't, maddie will immediately stop and regroup.
✧.* maddie i don't think would be super in tune with everything.. i apologize. she'll connect the dots after she sees you hunched over in pain or with a bottle of painkillers in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other, but she won't be able to pick up on it right away like some others might.
✧.* but that doesn't make her any less good at comforting you, let's make that abundantly clear. as soon as she catches onto what's happening, she's basically waiting on you hand and foot. maddie is devoted!
✧.* now of course, she's a junior officer. maddie can't be by your side as often as she'd like to, unfortunately. she likes her job, but sometimes she curses it for holding her back from her girlfriend in times of need.
✧.* so she second she's allowed off the job, she's swinging the door open with a bag full of snacks to make her presence known. "i'm home, darlin'! where are ya?" she'd announce, glancing around the empty space before her eyes land on you. "oh, there you are. here, i brought these back! sorry, i know i was gone for a while, but i'm here now, yeah?"
✧.* however, you'll have to ask for a lot of what you need. maddie knows that you're independent and capable of helping yourself, so she doesn't want to assume unless she knows for sure that you're incapable of it because of pain or discomfort. that's one of the things she doesn't really budge on. if you're able to voice what's bothering you, she'll be more than happy to be of help!
✧.* also really, really good at distracting you. she'll put on movies, plug in cassettes of your favorite albums, talk to you for hours on end about nothing and everything simultaneously. maddie figures that if she can take your mind off of it, that's better than just waiting out the discomfort.
✧.* she kinda sucks at cooking. sorry.. but! she'd still make sure any cravings of yours are filled. freezer is packed to the brim with ice cream, and she's got lots of sugary treats for you in her cupboards. i also would imagine she lives basically smack in the middle of piltover, next to a lot of vendors and convenience stores. so on the off-chance she doesn't have something you need, she's already on her way to grab it for you.
✧.* "i'll be right back, okay? just running around the corner. rest assured."
✧.* also so cuddly especially when it comes to being in bed with you. she's already clingy, but you might have to pry her off of you when you're on your period. she hopes you wouldn't want to, though, not when she's got her legs wrapped around your waist and her head nestled into the warmth of your neck.
#jinx x reader#vi x reader#mel medarda x reader#sevika x reader#caitlyn kiramman x reader#maddie nolen x reader#arcane x reader#arcane x you#reader insert#sapphic
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messages from your future spouse
Likes , reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated 💗
Masterlist \pick a cards
Disclaimer: This is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so🕊️
Thankyou for stopping by let's dive in ☄️,shall we ? Choose the pile you feel most drawn to 🧸
Pile 1
Anyone who takes the time to be kind is beautiful .
Some people don't change no matter how hard you try.
But we can not simply sit and stare at our wonds forever .
You spread joy because you're joy that's what I admire most about you .
First love teaches us what love isn't .
It's better to feel the hurt of honesty then to live in a false comfort of lie .
The secret of life is to be obsessed with yourself and be kind to everyone around you.
Some days are just heavy .
Everything you lost will be replaced with something better.
Imagine being loved the way you love .
Pile 2
You haven't met the best version of yourself yet don't give up
when you choose yourself everything around you will choose you too
remember you can start again over and over as often as you need
people don't cry because they're weak it's because they've been strong for too long
the little things ? little moments ? they aren't little
perhaps we should learn to love ourselves so loudly , it silences our insecurities
I love seeing you happy
it happened so that you could grow
you will forever be my always
do it for your future self
Pile 3
You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you're and change the ending
expect nothing appreciate everything
you can also comit injustice by doing nothing
be patient. Sometimes you've to go through the worst to get best
how many time can the same thing break your heart ? As long as you love it
find joy in simple things life will always be fulfilling
In the end, I realized the hurt never turned to hate. No matter how much my emotions led me to feel so. I never stopped loving people. I stopped trusting them.
The art of observing and not absorbing
Not liking me is fine, but making up lies to destroy my character is weird.
Keep it private until you know it's permanent
Imagine being loved the way you love .
Pile 4
First love teaches us what love isn't .
Discipline is the strongest form of self love .
She's an old soul with young eyes, a vintage heart, and a beautiful mind
people talk about me behind my back and i just sit here like damn i got myself a fan club
It takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations .
Forgive yourself for the mask you wore when you didn't feel safe enough to be yourself
YOU DON'T NEED EVERYONE TO love you, JUST A FEW GOOD PEOPLE
may every hour in your soul be golden, may it be filled with endless magic .
Vibes to carry through out the week
You're not sensitive. You're not overreacting. If it hurts you, it hurts you. Don't let anyone invalidate your feelings. Ever
I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀 Bless you and have a nice day 🫶🏻
Loads of love , jam\gem
Exchanges : open , collabs for pacs : open
#jamreadstarot#pick a photo#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick an image#horoscope#vedic astrology#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#astro placements#astrology#future spouse#intuitive readings#moodboard#numerology#matrix of destiny#psychicreading#oracle cards#sprituality#future spouse reading#valentines day#desiblr#divination#divine feminine#tarot deck#free tarot#tarot reading#witchblr
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so i decided to combine two fic ideas i had into one ginormous one-this took me like an hour so enjoy!
Shadow was never normal. He was raised by humans, his sister died, and above all, he was in love with his "rival". He wasn't exactly rivals with Sonic, but he fought him. He couldn't show emotion to save his life. But he was hopelessly, desperately in love with Sonic the Hedgehog.
One day, he was walking on a path somewhere he didn't know because Sonic was making him lose his mind. Sonic usually did that to him. It just took him a while to figure out that he didn't hate Sonic. He loved him.
He was walking when he saw this singular flower on the ground. He knew they were called daffodils. Maria probably taught him that, although he couldn't remember at the moment. He paused in his walk and picked it up. He looked at it, and his first thought was 'it looks like Sonic.' It's disgustingly bright yellow color made him think of how bubbly and energetic Sonic was. He quickly shook the thought out of his mind and continued to look at the flower. He stared at it for what felt like hours, but couldn't have been more than a few minutes. He noticed another flower that looked the exact same and began walking towards it when his eyes landed on something that made his stomach drop.
It was a giant field of the same yellow flowers that Shadow thought looked like Sonic.
"You've got to be shitting me," he scoffed. Despite that, he walked into the field and sat down. He felt calmer there than he had in the past... ever. Except when he was with Sonic. That was always different. He would never admit it, but he loved being around Sonic. He loved seeing him doing literally anything. The two of them were actually close. Shadow just pretended that he hated him so he wouldn't have to admit his feelings to anyone. But he and Sonic were so alike it was almost scary sometimes. They had both lost people close to them, they'd both lost their homes. They'd bonded over that during late nights when neither of them could sleep. Shadow thought about those nights often and if they actually meant anything, or if it was just Sonic needing to talk to someone. Shadow laid in that field of Sonic flowers for a while before he headed back to the house.
"Shads, you're back! Where'd you go?" Sonic jumps off the couch he was sitting on when he sees Shadow walk in through the door. Shadow's heart beat mildly faster when he saw him.
"Just on a walk," he mumbles, heading upstairs, wanting to avoid talking to Sonic as much as he could. And for two weeks straight, he went to that field every single day, because he couldn't tell Sonic how he felt.
Could he?
Amy eventually helped him man hedgehog up and ask Sonic out.
"You just have to talk to him!"
"I don't know how to talk to myself! How do I talk to him?" Shadow hisses.
"I'll help you!" Amy smiled.
"Sonic?" Shadow walks into his room one day.
"Yeah, Shads?"
"Do you want to... go on a walk with me?" he asks nervously.
"Sure! Where are we going?" Sonic gets off his bed.
"To this place I found a few weeks ago."
"You found somewhere weeks ago and you didn't tell me?" Shadow rolls his eyes and starts walking. Amy is downstairs, giggling as she sees them walking off. Sonic follows Shadow, talking about things he didn't understand, but he listened nonetheless. Shadow gently nudged Sonic towards the direction of the field, and the second Sonic saw it, he shut up.
Sonic never shut up.
Shadow looked at him and let a small smile creep onto his face.
"Shadow, this is... beautiful," Sonic mumbled.
"Let's sit down." Shadow walked over to a spot where the flowers were less dense, so he wouldn't be sitting on any of them. Sonic rested his head on Shadow's shoulder, who in return moved slightly closer.
"Why did you bring me here?"
"Because Amy told me to," he murmured.
"What?" Sonic looked up at him, confused.
"I asked Amy how I should ask you out, and she told me to take you somewhere I like. I found this place a few weeks ago, and I liked it because the flowers remind me of you. They're so bright and cheerful. Just like you." Sonic slowly smiled, looking at him.
"It took you too long to ask me out." Shadow scoffed and rolled his eyes playfully.
"Better late than never. Isn't that what you always say?"
"Don't quote me." Sonic kissed him, and they both roll over onto the flowers.
"You're annoying," Shadow mumbled.
"I know."
#sonadow#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the ultimate lifeform#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fanfiction#sonic#fanfic#sonic fandom#shadow#fanfics#shadonic#theyre adorable#your honor i love him#amy rose
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Emmrich giving Rook her first kiss? 😶
I've never written so much romance in my life! I have been absolutely blown away by the requests and everyone's kind words, especially since this is such uncharted territory for me. I tried to keep this in line with the canonical first kiss in game.
I hope it delivers!
The moon hung heavy in the sky, its silver beams spilling through the garden where Vae and Emmrich stood. The evening air carried the scent of night-blooming flowers, a heady perfume that wrapped around them like a song. The peace, the romance—the temptation.
A sense of unease pricked at the back of Vae's mind. Her hands wrung together, a nervous habit Emmrich had rarely seen but fully understood. Her blue eyes, lidded and uncertain, briefly met his before darting away, as if ashamed. He could feel the hesitation in the space between them—the weight of something unspoken, something fragile.
"Vae?" he hummed, his voice kind, coaxing.
She swallowed before trying to speak, her words crumbling in defiance.
They had been dancing around their feelings for weeks, maybe months. Every glance, every lingering touch, every amorous word had built up to this moment of perfection. But now, her face lit by the stars, Emmrich could see it—ambivalence. The way her breath hitched in her throat, the way she swayed ever so slightly towards him, but didn't dare take that final step.
"You've never been kissed before."
It wasn't a question. She had told him she'd never been intimate, but he assumed that, at least—perhaps when she was younger—there might have been a boy who wooed her. Some friend or classmate who, in a moment of awkward, hormonal bliss, took something she was equally willing to give. A simple kiss and nothing more.
"No," she admitted, her blush deepening. "Not by anyone."
Emmrich's gaze softened, his usual sharp confidence tempered by something indispensable. He reached out, slowly, delicately, giving her every chance to pull away. But she didn't. Instead, she let him trace his fingers along the curve of her jaw, his touch light and reverent.
"You don't have to," he said, and she could tell he meant it. "We never have to, if you don't think you can bear it."
"I..." She paused, a tremor in her voice. "I do want to. I just... don't know how."
A persuasive smile tugged at the older man's lips, his dominant hand finding her waist. "Then let me show you."
Vae's breath caught as he stepped closer, the warmth of his body radiating against hers. His fingers swept over her cheek, until his whole hand settled there, the touch so gentle it sent a shiver down her spine. She liked it, and that was all the incentive he needed, his thumb ghosting over her lower lip.
"Emmrich," she gasped, the sensation new and exciting.
"Just breathe," he purred. "I see you, my darling."
His eyes, fervent but steady, held hers with a quiet patience. There was no demand in them, no expectation—only the promise of something she could choose, if she wanted.
She did want.
She let herself melt into his touch, basking in the way he looked at her—like she was his whole world, precious beyond comprehension. Her legs shuddered.
"What if I'm bad at it?"
Smoothly, as if rehearsed, Emmrich asked, "Have you forgotten I'm a professor?" He grinned, his tone laced with a reassurance that told her she could never disappoint him. "I'll teach you."
"Emmrich..."
"Vae."
He whispered her name like a secret, and she closed her eyes at the sound. Slowly—agonisingly slow—he dipped his head, the kiss nigh. Inevitable. Yet he paused, hovering so close, offering her one last chance to pull away. Instead, she lifted her chin with an earned trust, her silent invitation sending a needy ache through his chest.
Finally, his lips pressed against hers with an exquisite tenderness, careful and unhurried. He didn't demand, didn't take—he simply gave. A brush, a breath, a gentle push that sent heat spiraling through her body. Her hands, unsure where to go, moved to the collar of his shirt, her fingers curling into the fabric, and he moaned, approving yet restrained, holding back for her sake.
Then, he stepped back, only to capture her expression—to make sure she was comfortable. To his delight, her eyes held nothing but desire.
"What a day of unexpected splendor."
To show her how this could be.
Of pure ecstasy.
He dove back in, bringing his lips to her neck before roaming back to her mouth. He poured all his love and devotion into every ministration, hoping to reach the depths of her soul. Then, he lingered, giving her a moment to adjust, to take it all in, before he deepened the kiss just enough to fuel her hunger.
He wanted more—so much more, but he let her set the pace, let her explore the taste of his lips; guiding her, showing her. As she relaxed against the altar behind her, his hand slid back, fingers threading through her hair, cradling her as though she might collapse.
"Mmph..." Vae shivered, the kiss unraveling something inside her she hadn't known was wound so tightly.
A small sound escaped her, and Emmrich felt it—a spark of something untamed, just beneath the surface. He broke away again to meet her gaze, his fingers exploring the elegant contours of her face before gliding down to her shoulders, ready to draw her back in if she willed it.
"How was that, my darling?" he teased, his voice soft as velvet. "A worthy first time?"
Vae's heart raced, her chest heaving as she caught her breath, her cheeks blazing. She could still feel him, her lips tingling with the impression of his own. For a moment, she feared she'd float away, anchored only by his sensual grip. Then, she stared at him, enraptured by the memory, a shy smile his reward.
"...Again?" was all she could manage.
Emmrich chuckled. "As often as you like."
This time, it was her who leaned in first.
#emmrich#emmrich volkarin#emmrook#dragon age the veilguard#emmrich x rook#rook x emmrich#veilguard#da: the veilguard#dragon age#rook
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Canary boy | Chapter 11
Previous chapter | Next chapter (coming out on Tuesday)
Masterlist
“Happy birthday!”
“Bloody hell!” Pedri yells when he walks into the kitchen.
“Oh my God, did you see his face?” Fer laughs.
“We all did” their dad says, also laughing.
“My sweet boy” Pedri's mum says, hugging him. “I'm sorry we scared you.”
“It's ok, don't worry. But what is that thing in your heads?”
“Birthday hats!” Fer says. “Inés’ idea.”
“What?” Pedri says, looking at me.
“I saw them yesterday while running some errands and thought it would be cute” I shrug.
“Spider-Man birthday hats?” he smirks, knowing perfectly well why I had picked them.
“Yeah” I shrug again, trying really hard to hide my smile.
“She also bought this for you” Fer says, putting an “it's my birthday” crown on his head.
“Seriously, Inés?”
“We are a family. We all have to look ridiculous” Fer says. “Now come here. Let's take a photo with the birthday boy before we start eating, have to leave to open the bar and forget about it.”
“I am the one who won't forget about this” Pedri whispers in my ear when I move to stand next to him, his arm around my waist.
“Oh, stop complaining. You look cute.”
“No one can look cute with this in their heads, Inés.”
“You do” I smile.
“Lovebirds, I need you to look at the camera” Fer says while setting his phone on the table, suddenly making me very aware of the fact that we are in front of their parents. “Perfect” he says before moving to where we all are standing. “Say, Pepi!”
“Pepi!” we all repeat before Fer’s phone takes a bunch of photos.
“I'm killing him” Pedri whispers again.
“Can you please stop complaining? It's your birthday… Pepi” I say with a teasing smile.
“You know, when you say it it actually sounds better” he says while squeezing my waist, the feeling sending a wave of heat through my body that should not be allowed this early in the morning.
“Ok, let's sit down. We don't want our breakfast to get cold” his mum says. “Inés, here” she says, moving a chair for me.
“Thank you” I manage to say, Pedri giving my side one last squeeze before letting go of me. For now. Because he sits (or his mum makes him sit) next to me, his hand moving under the table from time to time and resting on my thigh, sometimes just staying there and others squeezing it, making staying still almost impossible.
“Inés, are you ok?” his mum had said after the first squeeze and my little jump, one that made me kick the table.
“Yeah, yeah. Just hit the table while crossing my legs” I had smiled, slapping Pedri's hand under the table and making him laugh.
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“Presents time!” Fer announces once we have finished having breakfast. “Who wants to go first?”
“I will. This is from me and dad” their mum says, giving Pedri a big package.
“Thank you” he smiles while opening it. “Mum, is this…”
“It isn't my photo album, don't worry” she chuckles. “I found this one doing some cleaning a few weeks ago, turns out that I had bought the same one twice. And I thought, why don't I fill it with the same photos the other one has so Pedri can take it to Barcelona with him and check it every time he misses us?”
“Mum, I… This… You even wrote the same things under each photo!”
“My comments are the best part, they had to be there.”
“I love it, mum” Pedri says, getting up from his chair and hugging her. “I love you. And you too, dad.”
“We love you too” he smiles.
“God, mum. Now my present and Inés’ are gonna look like shit” Fer says.
“Sorry” she shrugs.
“Ok, my turn” he says. “This isn't something as cute as mum and dad's present, but I think you will like it.”
“We'll see…” Pedri says, unwrapping the box I went to pick up yesterday. “Fer!” he gasps. “Did you… Oh my God, Fer!”
“Were saying?” their mum chuckles while Pedri inspects the sneakers Fer has gotten him, the biggest smile ever on his face. I think I had never seen anyone smile like that because of a pair of shoes. Not even Carla, and she loves shoes.
“Do you like them?”
“I love them. How did you manage to find them? I've been looking for them everywhere” Pedri says.
“One has his contacts” he smirks.
“I freaking love them, Fer. Thank you” Pedri says, getting up again and hugging his brother.
“Then I guess my present is the one that will look like shit” I sigh.
“Inés, you've given me the best present ever by allowing me to be here today with my family” Pedri says, taking my hand on his and giving it a squeeze.
“Yeah, well…” I say, feeling my cheeks on fire. “I still got you something” I say, giving him my present. Or presents since there were two.
“Which one do I open first?”
“The one with the blue wrapping paper.”
“Ok” he smiles, carefully opening it to not ruin it. “No way!” he laughs.
“More Spider-Man?” Fer says. “What do you two have going on with that? First the hats, and now… an apron?”
“I saw it yesterday and couldn't help myself.”
“I love it, Inés” Pedri laughs again. “What do you think, mum? Should I wear this at the bar?”
“Yeah… no” she says, making everyone laugh.
“I'll keep it for special occasions, then” Pedri says before opening his other present. “What… Inés.”
“Another one?” Fer asks with an even more confused look than before.
“This is the nice apron. One you can wear when you come over to my place and cook for me, for example” I say.
“Oh, so this gift also is for you” Pedri smirks. “You want me to properly look like a chef.”
“Maybe” I shrug, my cheeks back to being on fire.
“She even got your name embroidered on it” his mum points out.
“I love it, Inés” Pedri says. “I love both of them. I can't wait to be back in Barcelona and wear them while making you dinner after a game.”
“That sounds like a date” Fer giggles.
“Oh, shut up!” Pedri says, giving him a little push before moving to where I am. “Thank you, Inés.”
“You're welcome” I smile as I stand up and hug him.
“Looking forward to our date” he whispers in my ear.
“Same” I whisper back.
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“But wait, if Inés is a football player… Does that make you a wag?”
“Oh my God!” one of Pedri's friends laughs.
“What? Isn't that how they call the footballers’ partners?”
“Wag stands for wives and girlfriends. Pedri is a boyfriend. So he would be a…”
“Bah” he says.
“What?”
“Boyfriends and husbands. Bah” he shrugs, making everyone laugh.
After having breakfast with his parents and Fer, we met with his childhood friends, and I honestly don't know who was more nervous about it, me or him. But we actually had nothing to worry about, because the moment he introduced us, we instantly clicked and it felt as if we had known each other for as long as he has known them. And even though we tried to explain to them many times that we weren't dating, that we were just friends, it was like talking to a wall like had happened with his family the day before.
“You don't know how many times we've teased him about you having a crush on him, Inés” one of his friends said. “All those Instagram likes? You couldn't be any louder.”
“And we knew he fancied you too” another one added. “He has always liked football, but I have never seen him so invested in it as when you play.”
“So we just knew it was bound to happen. He just had to see the light and say goodbye to Barbie nurse.”
Barbie nurse was the nickname they had for Nerea. A couple of them had met her while visiting him in Barcelona, and neither of them had liked the other.
So here we are now after an amazing meal they organized to celebrate Pedri's birthday (birthday cake with candles included), laughing and chatting while playing card games, the people at the restaurant definitely wondering when the hell we are going to leave.
“Both sound bad, but I think I'm sticking to calling you Inés’ wag” his friend says.
“Should we drink to that?” another one asks.
“I think we'll have to save that drink for my next visit” Pedri says.
“What? Why?”
“Inés and I are leaving tomorrow morning, and there is a place I haven't shown her yet.”
“A place? What place?” I ask.
“A very special one” he winks. Why does he have to do that in front of people who will notice my face turning bright red? Why? Aaahhh!
“Oh, I know where he is taking you!” one of his friends giggles. “Sunset?” she asks him.
“Sunset” he smiles.
“Urgh, you are gonna love it, Inés. You'll see.”
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“And?”
“I love it” I smile.
I've seen many sunsets over the years, Barcelona has some of the best. But none of them compares to this one. It is like someone has painted it, the colours being so vibrant despite being almost winter that they don't feel real.
“I can tell” Pedri chuckles.
“What?”
“Your face, Inés. You have it written all over it.”
“That I'm loving this?” I laugh.
“Yep. Here it says I” he says, writing the letter on my cheek with his finger, my skin burning where he has touched me. “Here love” he continues, now writing the word on my forehead. “And here it” he says, moving his finger over my other cheek. “I love it.”
“Uhm.” That's the only thing I'm able to say. Uhm.
“This has been an almost perfect birthday, you know?”
“Almost?” I manage to say, my face still trying to recover from his touch.
“Almost. Because for it to be perfect, there is one thing that needs to happen, and it can't without your permission.”
“My… what?”
“May I kiss you, Inés?” Pedri says, moving his whole body to face me, his fingers back to caressing my cheek.
“You… I…” I'm collapsing. My brain has shut down. My body has forgotten how to move, what it has to do.
Because Pedri has just asked me if he can kiss me.
Oh… my God.
“That's all I need for this birthday to be perfect, Inés. To finally kiss you.”
To finally kiss you. Finally. He's said finally, which means he has wanted to kiss me before and…
“May I?” he whispers, moving closer. “I'm gonna need you to say it, Inés. A nod isn't enough” he smirks when that's the only thing I'm able to do. Just nod. Because he wants to kiss me in case you hadn't heard. Pedri wants to kiss me.
“Yes” I whisper, my voice sounding so low I can barely hear it myself.
“Louder, Inés” he says, his lips brushing against mine.
“Yes. Kiss me, Pedri” I say. How have those words left my mouth? I wish I knew.
“My pleasure” he smiles before kissing me.
Finally.
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“Wait, let me… There we go” Pedri says after closing the door of his house with his foot while I just giggle. “Where were we? Oh, yes. Kissing” he smirks before pushing me against the wardrobe and more than kissing me… devouring me.
Back at the spot where we watched the sunset it had all been soft and kind of shy kisses, but the moment we made it to his building and the doors of the lift closed, the kisses turned into fire, passion, need. And bloody hell.
“Pedri… Pedri!” I gasp when he bites my neck. “I have training tomorrow when we make it back to Barcelona, behave yourself.”
“Sorry” he says against my skin, sending waves of heat everywhere. “But I can't help myself, Inés. I can't” he says, pushing me a bit more against the wardrobe. That wardrobe.
“Aren't you scared?”
“Scared of what? Of being caught? I already told you my parents and Fer won't be home until midnight at least, today they close late. But if you want to stop...”
“No, no. I meant if you aren't scared of what is behind me.”
“What?” he says, lifting his head from my neck to look at me.
“The wardrobe, Pedri” I say, trying really hard to not smile… and failing.
“The… Fer?”
“Yep.”
“I'm killing him. I swear I am.”
“Don't be mad at him” I say, moving my fingers up and down his neck. “I think it's cute.”
“Yeah, well. Cute isn't what I want you to be thinking about right now.”
“Then what do you want me to think about?”
“My lips on yours” he says before kissing me. “And my hands all over you. Touching you, caressing you… or doing this” he says before lifting me in the air.
“Pedri!” I giggle again as I wrap my legs around him.
“What? Thought I couldn't carry you because I'm on the small side?” he smirks as he walks us to his room.
“I've seen your arms. I knew you were able to do it” I smirk back.
“And this is just the beginning of all the things I can do” he says, the way he looks at me when he says it making me melt in his arms.
Once in his room he doesn't bother to close the door. He just walks straight into his bed, letting me fall on it before taking off his sweatshirt and t-shirt all in one go since they get tangled together. Though I don't mind it, because it allows me to see him properly and… Dear lord. I had not noticed he had those V shaped things on his hips that have always driven me crazy when I see them on a man and…
“Liking what you see?” he smirks before joining me in the bed.
“Very…” much. That's what I would have liked to say if he hadn't stopped me with a kiss, one that almost leaves me out of breath.
“So many clothes…” he says as he moves his hands under my jumper. “We must do something about it.”
“What… Pedri!” I laugh when he lifts me up, sitting me on his lap.
“Arms up… Good girl” he smirks when I do as he says. “This is so nice…” he says, his finger following the shape of my bra. “Did you pick it thinking of me?”
“You wish” I reply with a teasing smile. Oh, wow. Who is this woman? Though maybe I did pack my best underwear for this trip, the one that is all lace and that according to Carla leaves no room for imagination.
“Rude” Pedri says before pushing me down on the bed again and going back to his kisses. First it is my jaw, then my neck, one shoulder, the other… And then he starts moving down on my chest until he is kissing me between my boobs, the feeling making me gasp. But he doesn't stop there. He keeps going down, taking his time until he makes it to the hem of my jeans. “Again, Inés, too many clothes. May I?” he asks, his chin resting under my belly button.
“You may” I manage to say.
“Then bottoms up” he says, making me laugh as I lift my hips, allowing him to easily get rid of my jeans and shoes. “You are so beautiful, Inés.”
“Thank you” I whisper. He is now kneeling at the end of the bed, his eyes slowly scanning my body while I try to remember how you are supposed to breathe.
“Beautiful” he repeats, lifting one of my legs and starting to kiss my ankle, my calf, the inside of my knee. “Every inch of you is beautiful, Inés.”
And every inch of me is burning because of him. For him.
“Pedri” I gasp when he moves to my other leg and doesn't stop at my knee, as he keeps kissing my inner thigh all the way up. And when I think he is going to kiss me there… He suddenly moves and is back to devouring my mouth, now one of his hands being the one that goes down, his thumb caressing my nipple through the fabric before squeezing my boob and making me moan. And he keeps moving down, caressing my stomach while still kissing me, and then…
“Inés…”
“Yes, you can” I say, not allowing him to ask for permission. I need him to touch me there.
“Thank you” he smirks. “But first…”
“Pedri!” I complain when he moves his hand to rest next to my head.
“Patience, Inés. Patience” he says, kissing my nose before lifting me up again and sitting me on his lap. “I'm going back there, but first we need to get rid of this” he says, nodding towards my bra.
“Fine” I sigh. But as I move to unclasp it…
“No” he says, stopping me. “Let me do it.”
“You will do it slowly.”
“I will” he smirks.
“I don't want you to go slow.”
“Are you sure?” he says, moving his hands up my back, his fingers easily unclasping my bra before caressing my shoulder blades. “Doesn't this feel good?”
“It does, but…”
“And this?” he continues, kissing my shoulder and slowly pulling down one strap.
“That too. But Pedri…”
“Shh” he says, doing the same on the other side, my bra leaving my body as he pushes me down on the bed again.
And the moment I touch the mattress, the gentleness is gone.
His mouth and tongue are on one of my nipples, his fingers doing the same on the other, and I find myself moaning his name, my body arching against him.
“Does this feel good, Inés?” he says against my skin as he moves his mouth to my other nipple.
“So good.”
“Told you moving back here would be worth it” he smirks as we lock eyes. And what does he do? He winks. He fucking dares to wink before going back to torturing me. And in response, what do I do? Grab his hair, maybe pulling a bit too hard judging by the way he grunts. But I don't let go. I keep running my hands through it, sometimes pulling a bit. Like when his hand lets go of my boob and starts moving down to where I wanted him earlier.
“Pedri” I gasp when he finally touches me.
“Is this what you wanted?” he whispers, moving until we are face to face.
“Uhm” I nod.
“Use your words, Inés” he teases me.
“Yes. That's what I… fuck” I moan in his mouth when he kisses me again, his fingers still touching me, my hands tangled on his hair as my body stars to lose control.
“Let me make this be even better” he whispers in my ear, his hands moving to my hips, pulling down what was left of my underwear until I am completely naked in front of him. I'm… holy shit.
But I don't have too much time to freak out. He's back to being on top of me, to touching me like I wanted him too. Though this time he's adding something else. One of his fingers is going inside me, another following not long after.
“Pedri… Fuck, Pedri.”
I'm close. I am so close. I can feel it in every single fiber of my body... until I can't take it anymore.
“Are you ok?” he whispers.
“Yeah” I manage to say while catching my breath. That was… Woah. And it was just his fingers. Like… Woah.
“Do we keep going, then?” he says, brushing his nose against mine.
“Yes.”
“Good” he smiles before kissing me again, this time more gently, kind of allowing me to relax before the torture starts again. Though it really doesn't happen. The torture, I mean. This time he is all about caressing my skin and leaving soft kisses, about touching and feeling each other. And when he gets up from the bed to get rid of his joggers and his underwear… “You can look, Inés” he chuckles.
“Sorry, I just…”
“Gone shy now?” he says with a teasing smile.
“Yep” I reply, my face burning as I try to focus just on his hands, on how they are looking for a condom on his bedside table. But then I start thinking about what those hands and those fingers just did to me and… Bloody hell. If I didn't look too lame by doing it, I would cover myself with the bed sheets and hide from him.
“It's ok, don't worry” he says once he's finished and has moved back to the bed. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, Inés” he says again, kissing me one last time before his hand goes down to…
“Pedri, wait” I stop him.
“Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, I just… I…” C'mon, Inés. You know you can tell him. You know you can. “I… I've never done this and I… I…”
“Inés. Inés, look at me” he says, gently grabbing my chin and making me look him in the eyes, the thing that I was avoiding to do. I know I can trust him, that he isn't a jerk. But he also is a man and… “There is nothing to be ashamed of, Inés.”
“What?”
“It's ok if you've never had sex before. It is nothing to be ashamed of. And if you don't want to do it, if you want me to stop…”
“No!” Woah, that sounded way too eager. “No, I mean… I want to do it, Pedri. With you. I want my first time to be with you.”
“Are you sure?” he says, caressing my chin, my cheek. “I don't mind stopping now, we have all the time in the world to do it.”
“No. I want it. I do. With you.”
“Ok” he smiles. “But you have to use your words, Inés. If you don't like something, or are uncomfortable, or…”
“I will let you know.”
“Promise?”
“I promise” I nod.
“Good girl” he smirks before kissing me.
A kiss that is the opposite of that smile that is all playfulness and cheekiness. A kiss that is the softest and most caring one we have shared yet.
#pedri#pedri gonzalez#pedri x reader#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri fanfic#pedri gonzalez fanfic#pedri imagine#pedri gonzalez imagine#football fanfic#football imagine
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I have a Victoria Neuman request where Victoria is only using the reader at first due to the reader's father being a really influential figure especially in politics so dating the reader would give her access to more connections but overtime Victoria realizes that she's in love with the reader and fully comes to the realization while they're having sex.
content: victoria using reader for personal gain, nb reader, a touch of angst, victoria accidentally falling in love and not knowing how to deal with it
As your body writhed under hers, hot skin pressed into her center, Victoria was struck by a sudden realization that paused her.
She stared down at you, puzzeling over your face as it contorted with rising pleeasure. Frozen under the weight of her thoughts, she sat straddeling your lap, taking you in.
Seeing you for the first time.
When had it changed? When had she come to see this more than just free sex? When had she come to care about you?
It started out simply, as most things did. Victoria needed more political influence, and who better to gain that influence with than by dating you? She had done as much work as she could on her end, but she was missing a crucial key to gaining more power.
But she didn't want to be on her knees for some elderly old man. No, if she had to be on her knees for anyone she rathered it be someone young, and attractive.
The fact that you were naive was only an added bonus.
Seducing you into experimenting with the fairer sex was all too easy. A few carefully crafted situations, with some choice words, and you were wrapped around her finger.
Dating you was a bit harder, if only because she had to keep up the charade: pretending to care for you while subtly using you to get your father to chance his perspective on bills in congress that she needed passed.
And it had worked like a charm.
Victoria had got what she wanted. She was going to break up with you. It was the sensible thing to do since she no longer needed your father's influence, able to do what she wanted now.
She told herself she would wait a few weeks to not make it suspicious, then make up some excuse that she could no longer date you because of a conflict of interest.
You surely wouldn't be happy but she wouldn't care, is what she told herself. And now here she was, in bed with you once more.
"Are you okay?" you asked her, voice husky with lust. You sat up, running a hand down her face.
Victoria jerked herself to, not realizing that she had been frozen for a while now. "I'm fine," she answered, though she did not feel fine. There was a tenderness in her heart, that hadn't been before. And she hated how she had noticed it.
"You don't look fine. Did I do something?" you asked and she chuckled, trying to shake off the realization she had come to. While you'd been spread out under her, your skin soft and flushed, your mouth breathing out her name, she'd known she'd fallen in love with you.
She didn't know when it had happened. In between all the dates at expensive restaurants, between glasses of wine, laughing at incompetent politics, or in the soft quiet moments as you lay by each others side?
She had been focused on her career, and on using you to further it. How could she have fallen for you?
This wasn't supposed to be the plan. This wasn't supposed to happen. This changed everything.
You wiped at her eyes. "You're crying."
"Am I?" she asked, in disbelief. She was torn between laughing and lamenting her fate. How cruel for her to be ensnared like this. When had you enchanted her? Was it with your smile? With your unflinching kindness?
"Was it work?" you asked, pure concern in your eyes.
She shook her head.
"I'm tired, I think." Victoria knew it was the easy way out, but she didn't feel like speaking about this with you.
"I'll make you something warm to drink," you told her and slipped out of the bed, grabbing a robe as you went. She watched you going, biting down on her bottom lip.
She was screwed, wasn't she?
She had too many enemies to make it a smart idea to fall for you. But she had fallen in love regardless and now she would have to account for that. In the meantime, she should enjoy her time with you and unpack her feelings in the morning. She rose up and grabbed her robe before joining you in the kitchen.
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Sujamma Sundas!
Thank you for the tag @skyrim-forever 💞
Tagging: @dirty-bosmer @friend-of-giants @firefly-factory @illumiera @hircines-hunter @lillxart @ladytanithia @pocket-vvardvark @rakaiawriter @sheirukitriesfandom @sanza-17
Topic: This week, Sujamma wants to know about YOUR OC's special someone. What makes their relationship special? How did they meet? Were they enemies to lovers? Lovers to enemies? Lovers AND Enemies? Are they romantic or platonic? What's their favorite way to cuddle? Favorite date night? Anything and everything you can think of 💕
Ohhh, do I need to decide who I'll be talking about here? Can I talk about all my main couples? :P
Let's start with Nevri and Morotar. What makes them special is him being a detestable cunt and her being the one to hit him on the head for it. They actually got to know each other because he saved her and Canmal's life when they were attacked by Boethiah's cultist. Back then he was "a mercenary" and travelled with them back to Winterhold, where they decided to hire him for getting Goldbrand. And while travelling, Nevri did fall for his looks and cunty character and the rare times he can be nice :P (She's vulnerable, okay??) One thing comes to another and after they got closer, everything falls apart. With DwD 2 their story goes on, Morotar has a severe loss of memories but as their paths cross again, he does one thing: he knows her. A lot of pushing away from her follows until they do get closer again (she has good reason for that) while he will utterly fall for her 😩❤️ I don't know how their story will end and what will come of them, but I love to picture them together in a calm future. Anyway, I guess they go like: strangers -> reluctant friends -> lovers -> enemies -> strangers -> whatever the fuck that mess is they are in in part 2 Thinking about it, they'd love to cuddle in a bed and have their peace together and I often picture how Nevri washes his hair and he does enjoy that so much because someone cares for him. Their idea of a date night might be sparring or something :P
Going on with my favourite toxic couple: Ancano and Faralda! These two idiots started out as... let's call it colleagues and the entire thing became a secret work place romance at the College of Winterhold. Until Ancano's toxic ass fucked up big time after gaslighting the shit out of Faralda and cheated on her with Nirya. Nirya does thing she has won, but ... the price is foul🤢 Anyway, they do have a toxic rebound after Ancano got stabbed by a certain Dunmer woman mentioned in the text before. For Faralda is really is the last time this has happened, until she sees him being a yearning mess for her and decides to play with him. Currently, we're at the phase where her sadism really spirals out of control (good for her). As they do not have a traditional relationship, I'd say their idea of a date is a little strange. Ancano would like to have her only for him and longs for her attention. He'd cuddle with her after sex, to keep the appearance that it means more to him but he's not really a cuddler. After he cheated in her, Faralda does want to cuddle with anyone but him :P Her perfect idea of a date is her throwing rocks at him ❤️
And here we are with my most fucked up couple, that is poor Ria and Mannimarco. Hell, she chose the worst man. But my bf likes to argue that Ancano is worse because he's racist and Mannimarco is too egocentric to be really racist 😆 Well, let's see. She is absolute delulu and unhappy in the place she is now, serving a group of men (ew) in a dilapitating fort. And there comes her worm knight in shining armour... or red cloak... to her rescue. He infiltrates her brain until she falls for him and she is absolutely and utterly in love with him. Too bad that he sees her as his little experiment. But that does not hold him back from fucking the lab rat. He's nasty like that ❤️ You could say, it is a very romantic gothic horror lovestory that I'm crafting there and so their ideal date would be basically what I've written in chapter two, just having sex in a fairy ring under the moonlight. And for Manni it may include feeding her corpses and counting how many maggots he can pull out of her orifices. Well... yeah. That's that!
#dealings with daedra#a tale of hunt#a taste of death#tesblr#sujamma sundas#the elder scrolls#elder scrolls#fanfiction#ao3 writer#ao3#skyrim fanfiction
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Questions and Safety Plans for Surviving the US's Fascist Coup
Crosspost from Mastodon: Questions are to help generate ideas and to get folks started.
I want to be clear in that my pointing out what Musk has control over US treasury isn't me panicking and speculating. He literally has control over US treasury Payment Systems and the OPM datasystem and has stated his intention to eliminate as many programs as he can. Federal workers sent anonymous tips to journalists of how Musk's cronies, no one has any idea of whether they are even US citizens, are downloading data onto private servers, which is a cybersecurity nightmare.
This is an unprecedented hostile coup on speedrun. It is a lot to take in, I know. It can feel overwhelming and paralyzing, but these first few weeks are crucial if we going to save the most lives. We can't rely on anyone to save us.
Look at the Democrats, who are failing to act or take this threat seriiously. Senate Minority Leader is posting about tariffs and pizza on bluesky. Elizabeth Warren stated Musk's actions are wrong and demands an investigation. Are they in denial? Do they not see what this is? Why are they not storming offices and punching fascists? Or at least organizing protests and going on news to show the unconstitutional and illegal acts for what they are? Why are they not blocking Musk from accessing any system?
Thus we can't rely on them to save us. They're complicit at worst and incompetent at best.
The destruction of the US government will kill a lot of innocent and vulnerable groups, and this is why we need to really work together to try to save the most lives. I'm asking these questions to get people to think.
Questions and Actions
When SSDI and other programs are destroyed, who is going to help homebound disabled folks? Do we know who are allies are? Do we know who we can trust to have our back?
What community care exists to help our most vulnerable? What infrastructure exists to care for each other? Do we have a list?
If not, are we researching what exists in our area? Are we looking into who we know and what skills we each can share with one another?
Make a list of your skills. Make a list with friends of their skills. You'll need this.
Do we have a way to train folks, especially on how to care for the unique needs of disabled folks? To train on accessibility and make sure our community care is accessible?
If you don't know how to train folks on accessibility or aren't sure where to find this information, feel free to reach out to me. I used to do accessibility trainings, and I still have those materials.
Do we have a safety plan? (I wrote a post on that here: https://ni.hil.ist/@TheBird/113909678180718685 ).
Do we have ideas on how to do this work and try to avoid burnout? Do we have a system to delegate tasks so no one is left behind or a task left undone?
Whatever actions you plan, you MUST write up an agreed upon plan for delegating tasks and ways people can take breaks. Draft an agreement or mini-constitution about how to handle people who fail to follow-through on the tasks they take on or are assigned.
Do you have a plan or an idea on how to hold people accountable? There's good resources on this within disability justice and transformative justice movements.
Do we have a list or understanding of what talents and skills we currently have and what each of us are able to commit to? Do we have a secure way to store this info to avoid surveillance state?
Disabled people (in particular Disabled Black and Indigenous folks) are the most likely to die after hostile coups like the one we're in.
We can't get out either. There are laws in most nations that prohibit us emigrating unless we can meet a minimum productivity/work threshold to prove we won't be a "drain on the state" and it's resources and healthcare. Yes, most of these laws use the word "drain." So that means when things get worse, and it will get much worse, disabled people end up trapped and left to die.
This is the questions we need to ask and address in our communities and activist groups. Within our friend groups as well. These questions won't be answered in just one conversation or meeting either.
We'll need to pick a set of tasks to focus on and find trusted groups we can coordinate with to help immediate needs.
This won't be easy. But community care and fighting white supremacist transphobic ableist fascism never is.
Be safe.
How to craft a Safety Plan
The item list of what's in your go-bag, which should include clothing, water, snacks, laptop/tablet/backup-drives, driver's license/passport, wallet, cash, phone charger, a portable charger unit, pet supplies, medicines, and for me I add in books/music-player/headphones.
Plan for your pets. I practice with my pets with leash and harness since tornadoes are common where I am, so they are used to heading to the bathroom to stay in place. For a go-bag, I have tuperware ready, where I can quickly scoop food into it and tuck into my bag. I make sure their carriers are near the door and easy for me to slip them into it.
Write down your rights. Memorize them. Yes, the rule of law is being thrown out the window, but hold firm to those rights. Do not allow ICE or any police authority into your home or area without a warrant signed by a judge. (I have to legally say that even if I personally think don't ever allow them in regardless, but safety comes first here and fighting ICE and police when it's just you or you and a few friends could get you killed and won't save the most people in the long run. We need to be hold firm on our rights but also firm on our safety so we can stay alive to help others.)
A route out of town. Make sure there's several possible routes planned in case one isn't viable. (Good to do if an area is prone to fire or flooding as those are unpredictable at best of times). Make sure you have a printed map. Do not rely on your phone.
Printed copies of all necessary documents: healthcare, phone numbers/addresses, identity, maps, etc. Include physical therapy exercises, mental health exercises, and medicine lists.
Share your safety plan with family and friends you trust. Work with them on their safety plans. For disabled people, this means we need to find people willing to help us evacuate (as needed) or check on us (for stay-in-place orders). These need to be people we trust to follow through. Leave no one behind is the motto.
Practice and/or review the safety plan monthly or at least four times a year with family/friends/pets. This becomes more crucial as fascism rises here.
Also helpful to plan community care events, where people share their grief and their hopes. This can help the fight to avoid burnout. Self-care is important, but it's not enough. Community-care is also needed, and should be included in a safety plan -- ways to engage in that care to help bolster one another.
It can be daunting to write up this plan alone, so do it with friends. Help one another through this.
We are not alone, but the fascists assholes want us to believe we are.
Sources: https://www.disabledginger.com/p/week-one-executive-orders-and-a-merit https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/01/us/politics/elon-musk-doge-federal-payments-system.html https://bsky.app/profile/thomaszimmer.bsky.social/post/3lh4lj7hfss2l https://www.wired.com/story/us-government-websites-are-disappearing-in-real-time/ https://insidemedicine.substack.com/p/breaking-news-cdc-orders-mass-retraction https://www.reuters.com/world/us/musk-aides-lock-government-workers-out-computer-systems-us-agency-sources-say-2025-01-31/ https://www.salon.com/2025/01/30/ai-nurses-as-good-as-any-doctor-rfk-jr-confirms-he-wants-to-take-away-peoples-health-care/ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/trumps-executive-order-on-gender-affirming-care-for-trans-youth And may edit in others later.
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Jeez girl I regret looking up the arsenal fc tag cause I ended up on your bullshit again.
> "haaland told y'all to act humble and clearly y'all haven't won shit so you are worse than us, act humble"
First of all, you make the critical error of forgetting WHO haaland said that to. Mikel Arteta. Let's leave the opposition manager dynamic out for now and remember that Mikel, for 2 years, was basically pep's apprentice at City. Haaland somehow having the gall to insult a man who worked with him, with his team and with his manager for 2 years on live TV is a pretty heinous act in and of itself. Let's also look at the context of the match, where, after a dubious red card (if you want to argue it's not dubious kindly don't, szboszlai committed the same "offense" a week later with no foul, and after wolves v arsenal I don't think you wanna argue that PGMOL is an impartial body if you want to come off as having any common sense), arsenal had to revert back to Mourinho tactics and somehow a team that had previously never done anything of the sort, managed to hold up a low block that took city 5 full minutes of extra time to break through. The same city (only major injury at the time was rodri) who got all your shiny trophies.
Secondly, yes, this team has not won anything. Why is that? Inexperience. On both the players and the manager, and this is something everyone in the arsenal sphere knows. And yet, we've come close. Closer than any other team to Manchester City, despite not having the finances, officiating bias (as shown in above para, michael oliver, but he is merely one of many many examples), or experience. I know to gloryhunters like most city fans the point of coming second is lost, but ask anyone who actually cares about football: SAF and Wenger was the greatest rivalry in the prems, despite the former completely outshining the latter. And yet, not for a single season, untill the last match did man u or arsenal fans mock each other (aside from the typical banter one expects from what had basically developed into a derby).
> "still not winning the league"
Man City away, liverpool at home, both Brighton games, wolves away. Do I need to give more examples of arsenal getting bent over by the PGMOL untill that fact goes through your thick head? On top of that, injuries. The only other clubs with injuries as bad as ours are spurs and city, and everyone can see they're both shells of their usual selves. Add to the mix the fact that edu gaspar left in the middle of the season and the board refused to replace him even with the oncoming January window.
As for your wonderful advice, don't you worry ma'am we've done that already. For 10 years. For a whole decade we have endured abuse and laughter, to our club, players and 2 extremely talented ex-managers (not to mention the arteta out crowd who must suffer from severe delusions). And yet, here we are. We keep our heads up, despite losses, despite injuries, despite being the refs' guinea pigs for what can fly under mainstream media. However, perhaps it is time for city fans to apply this advice too? Yesterday your manager set up some of the worst tactical decisions of his career, such as benching khusanov and playing marmoush out of his preferred position, and after an 18 year old LB scored against his side, visibly tried his best not to break down in tears. Haaland, despite scoring a goal, seemingly forgot how to make runs (and it's not me saying this: it's thierry henry, and before you argue he's stupid cause he's an ex-arsenal player, do remember he also played under pep's barcelona). Eras end, and pep has without a doubt begun to lose his grip in the game. But I'm no City fan, and I respect the man, so I hope you lot won't turn on him when he stops putting in the numbers.
This is already a very long post, and I'm sure you will use it to fuel your "arsenal fans are sensitive" headcanon, but for those impartial readers who stumble upon this, let me clarify, arsenal are not against banter. Viera and Keane physically held themselves back from killing each other. SAF and Mourinho literally had fistfights with Wenger, but it comes down to respect. No matter how much SAF cussed out Wenger, he hugged him at his farewell. Mourinho still refuses to agree with the man and yet never raises his voice against him. Had haaland not thrown a ball at Gabriel, not tried to throw his weight around on an 18 year old, not pretended like arteta's some lowlife, we would not have had this reaction.
im going to explain this like someone would explain it to a little kid bc some arsenal fans are very dumb wont say another word for it bc they are also very uh sensitive...?
haaland told your players to stay humble because they act and celebrate as if they have won a treble or a ucl or a prem (yk all the trophies city has won) so he said it for you guys to chill out and know your place. Now, the team and the whole fanbase got super offended even though everyone knew what haaland meant and he is right. However, the fanbase and your team have proven his point countless times throughout the season....and you just don't get it. This match probably means to you exactly what it meant to city to complete the treble or 4 in a row. We are not on the same level. That is just a literal fact.
now are city having a bad season...100% that is also a fact. However, even though we are having a bad season does this mean haalands point is not true? no. it is true. the past 2-3 years your whole arguement has been "well how can we compete with them" we've been shit. and your still not winning the league HAHAHA. so my advice to you arsenal people is to look on the inside and just maybe come to the conclusion you guys think youre the shit when you are simply not...?
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Lies from the main blog because i would so become an alcoholic given the chance. I wouldn't pick vodka either for my beverage of choice, I'd pick the fucking handmade pretentious ass ciders and champagne they serve at exhibition openings.
#it's funny because i have been given the chance multiple times#but i didn't take them because like. okay yeah i get drunk while I'm alone. but what then???#i have too good of a relationship with my dad and then he'd stop by and see that I'm either drunk or hungover#that'd send our relationship down the drain in an instant#i need like a week where i don't see *anyone*#(not because i plan on being drunk for the entire week but just so we're safe yk. or like 3 days or sth.)#oh my god this sucks i wanna try alcohol so so so bad but that wouldn't make me different from any kf the other shitheads my age#I'd join the majority rhat has tried alcohol#and i don't think that “oh but i was drinking alone and not some cheap ass vodka and i wasn’t doing stupid shit” is an acceptable loophole#(acceptable to me)
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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Can't wait to see what the consistently uncooperative nurse who answers my GP's messages has to say, if she messages me back. I bet you twenty bucks right now her reply makes it obvious that she didn't even glance at the rest of the thread.
Lady, you have way more going on than me. I know you're busy. I also know I am annoying. I'll stop bothering you if you tell me what you need from me so I can move on to the next step because until you do, I can't. Stop wasting your own time.
#if she flubs the next response i will have to call and insist to talk to someone backstage#which sucks because they're never available and there is for some reason no voicemail so if nobody answers the phone I just get disconnecte#and have to call again and again because even though it's the only way to reach anyone#leaving a message with the front desk only works about every fifth time#so calling and waiting all day for a response x 5 = 1 week#calling the front desk repeatedly eventually gets me connected with someone actually helpful but it takes days usually#the portal summons this woman who does usually answer but is often utterly unhelpful#i would jump clinics but this doctor is good and the nurse i usually see is good#and I CANNOT handle the hassle of getting set up in their system with the right name and pronouns#setting up a new portal#and disclosing that I have PTSD to even more people#I know I don't have to give details and I do not (I did have to call out a woman once for pressing for them inappropriately)#but I do need to let them know so they aren't surprised when I show up having a bad day#or tell them not to do a thing or that I won't do a thing#so they don't brush it off which is rude or try to pressure me which will eventually get them snapped at for what seems like no reason#they DESERVE to be warned so they don't perceive my behavior as targeted at them because that feels shitty to both of us#so yeah#i don't want to have that conversation again when I just had it in a very triggering way and will have to do that again very shortly#also where the fuck do i go when nobody at a good clinic is seeing new patients?
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not "i can do better" or even "i deserve better" per se, because i can't really believe that, but an inexplicable third reason i won't settle for a relationship where my level of care, effort, and sacrifice isn't reciprocated <3
#can't really explain why#it's a feeling like i want to say i deserve better but i always feel fundamentally unworthy of love so that's not it#and it's definitely not confidence that i can actually find someone willing to treat me better bc i often think i'll end up alone#but its a feeling like i would rather be alone than with someone who doesn't treat me the way i want to be treated#and i'm not saying this guy was cruel or bad in any way he just chose himself over me and didn't prioritize me#to the point that he broke up with me to make more time for his hobbies#and i don't need to be someone's absolute number 1 priority especially early in a relationship#but i feel like the relationship should be somewhere close to the top of the list#at least between career and skiing#not like i wanted or ever asked him to stop skiing#but he was aware that he was choosing to spend his time off doing that rather than seeing me#and im not even upset about that#honestly it was the entire days he spent in bed watching tv including the last day of break before we both went back to work#where he was too exhausted or lazy to want to see me even when i offered to come over#maybe it's not that i personally deserve better than that but i feel like everyone deserves better than that#anyway no point really but i cant quite put into words why i'm so okay with this breakup but this has something to do with it#i won't settle for not being a priority even if that means i end up alone#which is a nice feeling bc in the midst of it i was so patient and willing to put up with it#like oh he just needs time and if i out up with it and i'm not clingy then he'll love me and i'll become a priority#but even early in a relationship getting to know someone takes a willingness to prioritize doing that and make time for them#like i didn't need to see him every day but we had two entire weeks off from work and i saw him 4 times#and only 3 of those were actual dates#and i'm not mad at him i just accept that he's not really capable of having a relationship with anyone until he matures a lot#he didn't set out to hurt me or anything he's just immature and a bit selfish but i'm sure he doesn't even know that#but i'm glad it happened bc now i know what my standards are tbh#this has been a shitpost
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not dipping back there again after this, but my opinion on where the discourse re: us politics is heading is not getting any nicer.
#thoughts#personal#not a vagueblog about any blog in particular#because it's been a deluge on my dash for a good two to three weeks from every side and almost every US blog I follow#I don't even disagree with the endgoal (I mean I extremely do but I understand the stakes)#but I deeply *deeply* disagree with the way it's all being framed#though I'm not surprised. and I wasn't expecting better.#but yeah in a couple of years we might all need to unpack what that strategy looked like from the outside.#because wow#the weaponization of “white guilt” in particular to silence what is often (from what I see) PoCs trying to express their loss of faith#is. so very revealing to me.#the assumption of motive and identity here and how much more convenient it feels than the actual messy complicated truth#I think the usage of “white guilt” and “white saviorism” as a weapon thrown in between white people to control each other's behavior#especially in moments like these where PoCs are explicitely demanding our collective solidarity and voice#is actually a conversation we should all very seriously have at some point#anyway.#not mad at anyone for wanting to vote for biden#kinda mad at a good 75% of the posts prompting people to do so however.
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So crazy how I can go from having a great day to all of a sudden remembering an upsetting dream I had last night and it just. Instantly ruins my mood </3
#negative#wtf I was doing so good why now of all times :[#had an upsetting dream about stumbling upon a bunch of ship art of Zooble with other characters and in the dream my phone froze on it#and I couldn't turn it off or exit the app or anything#so like. instead of being upset then my brain decided to make me forget about it until just now for some reason#wow cool thanks brain 👍 (HEAVY sarcasm btw)#I've been like Super paranoid about coming across ship art today and didn't know why until now#gonna be completely honest with how stressed I've already been combined eith this right now#if I see them shipped eith anyone else I may start spiraling#dw though I've been trying my best to avoid scrolling through anything for too long#I'm not looking in any tags where I could come across it#I'm blocking anyone I come across in my recommendations who doesn't tag their ship art properly#I've basically been doing my own thing for the most part today#I'm tryinf to do Anything to dostract myself so I don't 5hink about it too long#I'm trying to work on another drawing#drawing is honestly the knly thing that helps me calm down when I'm feeling any kind of negatice emotions lol#so sorry to ramble like this#I've already had to bottle up so much the past week or so so i need to get at least one thing off my chest
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