#i named the bee hotdog because he looks like ketchup and mustard

[its-fjori]

Ruffious' Bid - World PvP Achievement

Got a cute lil bee mount plus a neat title (Slayer of the Deeps)

[heavenlyhoundoom]

St.Patrick's day at Willy's Wonderland.

(Willy, Gus, and Knighty are heading to the city for a fun day when a black cat crosses their path, Gus got out of the way before it happens.)

Gus: Don't let the black cat cross your path, it's bad luck!

Knighty: What?

Willy: Oh come on, don't tell me you believe that.

(The three continue walking, when a car drives through a puddle and splashes Willy with muddy water.)

Willy: Well Knighty, I guess Gus was right and know we're both gonna have bad lu-

(Willy turns around to see that Knighty was completely dry.)

Willy: How are you not wet, you were standing right next to me!?

Knighty: It's because I was given some good luck today.

(The three go to a diner for lunch, a frog seated them at a table. When Willy sat in his chair, there was gum stuck to his leg.)

Willy: Oh come on!

(A poodle waitress comes to take their order.)

Midge: Hello, my name is Midge, may I take your orders?

Gus: I would like a cheese burger with pickles, with a side onion rings and some chocolate milk please.

Midge: Alright, a cheese burger with pickles, with a side onion rings and some chocolate milk, what would you like to order sir? (Talking to Knighty.)

Knighty: I would like a raspberry iced tea for my drink and for my meal I think I'll treat myself to a fish fry please.

Midge: Alright, a fish fry and a raspberry iced tea, and how about you sir? (Talking to Willy.)

Willy: I would like some fried chicken and a an orange soda please.

Midge: I'm sorry sir, but we're currently out of chicken and our soda fountain is currently being repaired at the shop.

Willy: Alright, then how about a hot dog with ketchup and mustard with a side of tater tots and some orange juice please?

Midge: Sure thing sir, we'll get your orders soon.

(Three and a half hours go by and Knighty and Gus have finished their meals while Willy didn't even get his water yet.)

Willy: This sucks, it's been three and a half hours and they haven't even brought my water yet!

(A moth waitress arrives with a mug of coffee.)

Moth waitress: Here's your coffee sir.

(She trips and spills the coffee on Willy's lap.)

Willy: Oh come on, I didn't even order coffee!

Moth waitress: Oh, I'm so sorry, did you order a hot dog with ketchup and mustard and a side of tater tots?

Willy: I did, thank you mam.

(Willy thought that his luck was turning around but when he bit into the hotdog it was cold and the tater tots were super soggy. When the three were given the check the moth waitress told Knighty that his meal was free because he was their one millionth customer.)

Knighty: Man, talk about lucky.

Willy: And talk about unlucky!

(The three leave the restaurant after pay for their meals, Knighty looks down a sees a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk while Willy steps on a stray lego.)

Willy: Aaaaggghhh!!!

Knighty: Wow, I found a hundred dollar bill!

Willy: Good for you...

(They go to the mall and the Barnes&Noble in the mall was having a half off sale to celebrate the five year anniversary of being in business.)

Knighty: Oh yes, I'm gonna score a lot of high fantasy books.

(Willy looks around and sees that the Hot Topic at the mall went out of business.)

Willy: No, not the Hot Topic!

(The three get some some frozen yogurt at the Froyo Fortress in the food court.)

Puffin lady: Welcome to Froyo Fortress, it's Froyo Friday were we pick a random flavor and make it free, today our free flavor is espresso.

Knighty: Well espresso just so happens to be my favorite flavor.

(The three walk through the flavors and Willy sees that the birthday cake froyo dispenser is out of order.)

Willy: Oh, give me a break!

(Willy settles for rockey road froyo and Gus gets cotton candy froyo. They pay for their froyo and when Willy sits down, his froyo had already melted.)

Willy: I wanna go home!

(Willy, Knighty, and Gus walk home and on the way there Willy gets stung by a bee and Knighty finds his lost pocket watch on a bench at the park they were walking through.)

Knighty: My pocket watch, I must've left it on this bench the last time we were here, this is turning out to be the best day of my life!

Willy: Well this is turning out to be the worst day of my life!

(They get back home and Tito is there to greet them at the door.)

Tito: Hola amigos, how was your day in the city?

Willy: My day was terrible, I had nothing but bad things happen to me!

Knighty: I on the other hand had the best day of my life and I owe it to that black cat.

Willy: What are you talking about, black cats are bad luck!

Knighty: Maybe to you Americans, but for a Scotsman like myself, black cats are actually good luck.

Gus: You know, that actually explains why you've been so lucky today.

Willy: You could've told me earlier!

Knighty: I didn't think it was important.

(Willy goes to his room in defeat and goes on his phone but the internet was being very slow for him.)

(Happy St.Patrick's day.)

[ifellinluvwithamonster]

US!Papyrus and Sans x Reader

A/N: Commission for @mellorocket who wanted a poly swap story with a nb reader.

Fidgeting nervously, you glanced down at your reflection in the park fountain you were standing in front of. You looked critically at your outfit, which consisted of a pastel blue sweater that said “MONSTER”, lavender jeans, a white cat-ears headband, and floral combat boots. Thumbing one of the ears on your headband, you worried about it in your head, so as to keep from worrying about more pressing concerns. Was it too much? Too little? Too girly? Before you could ruminate on it any further however, you heard an eager voice from behind you say your name. A very familiar voice. Taking a deep breath, you turned around and pasted on an eager (and not at all nervous) smile as you watched the skelebros approach. Sans was speed-walking towards you, clearly wanting to run, but not willing to leave Papyrus completely behind, who was heading towards you at a much, much more leisurely pace. “HI! HOW ARE YOU! I LIKE YOUR OUTFIT!” After all of the tension that was building up, you nearly yelped when Sans practically assaulted you with friendly greetings.

“I’ll have to agree with you there, bro.” Papyrus said. “That is a great outfit. Especially the headband. Heh, maybe we should call you ‘kitten’ from now on, huh bro?”

Sans seemed to ponder this proposal for a moment before nodding in agreement. “INDEED! SEEING AS THAT CANNOT BE CONSTRUED AS A PUN IN ANYWAY, I SEE NO PROBLEM WITH THIS!” He said, grinning happily.

You smiled, blushing a bit. “T-thanks you guys. But you don’t have to-”

“COME KITTEN!” Sans said, pointing his finger towards the sky triumphantly. “THERE’S MUCH TO BE DONE ON OUR FIRST DATE AND NO TIME TO WASTE!” And with that, he was off.

You looked at Papyrus in bewilderment, who could only shrug. “Hey, you heard the skeleton. Let’s go.” With an incline of his skull, he started following after Sans. While the three of you started walking towards an unknown destination(it seemed as if Sans had simply just ran off in a random direction without a particular goal in mind other than to find some source of excitement) the skelebros attempted to engage you in conversation. “So, kitten, you uh, come here often?”

You chuckled at Papyrus’ question, and replied “Yes actually, this park has a nice botanical garden that I like to visit.”

“A BOTANICAL GARDEN?!” Sans exclaimed. “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO?! WE SHOULD VISIT IT IMMEDIATELY! WHERE IS IT?”

“It’s in the direction we’re heading actually.” You said, smiling gently at Sans. “It’s not much farther up ahead.”

“OH! VERY GOOD THEN!” With that satisfied statement, Sans turned and continued marching forwards.

“So, you like flowers?” Papyrus asked.

“Yep.”

Before Papyrus could open his mouth, Sans interjected with “WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS DO YOU LIKE?”

“Asters.” You said, grinning at Sans, and not noticing the flash of annoyance that passed over Papyrus’ skull. “They’re like colorful daisies.”

“MAYBE WHEN WE GET TO THE BOTANICAL GARDEN, I CAN PICK YOU SOME!”

“You don’t have to.”

“I KNOW.” Sans said “BUT I WANT TO!” You blushed at the sincere statement. Before you knew it, you and your dates were at the botanical garden. “WOW! THIS IS AMAZING! SO MANY PLANTS!” Turning to you, Sans grabbed you by the arm and said “COME ON KITTEN! YOU MUST SHOW ME ALL OF THE PLANTS YOU LIKE!” Before you could protest, Sans was dragging you around the garden, pointing at various plants and having you explain what each of them were.

Once he started running low on different plants to ask you about, that’s when you noticed that you hadn’t seen Paps for awhile. Not since you got to the garden, in fact. “Sans, have you seen your brother anywhere?”

“HM? OH NO KITTEN, NOT SINCE WE GOT HERE. NOT TO WORRY THOUGH. I’M SURE HE JUST WANDERED OFF SOMEWHERE TO TAKE A NAP LIKE HE USUALLY DOES.”

“Maybe.” You said, worried. “But even if he did, I don’t want to accidentally leave him behind.”

“Sweet of you to say, kitten.” Jumping a little, you turned to see Papyrus standing behind you.

“Paps!” You exclaimed. “Jeez, don’t startle me like that! Where were you…” You trail off, looking down at the asters Papyrus had clutched in his bony fist. “Oh wow!” You said. “Those are so pretty! I didn’t know you liked asters Papyrus!”

“Eh, well actually, these are for you.” Papyrus said, handing you the makeshift bouquet and rubbing the back of his skull sheepishly.

“Oh.” You said, a gooey grin forming on your face. “Oh aw. Paps. I said you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know.” Papyrus said. Then, staring straight at Sans, said “But I wanted to.” You giggled, failing to notice Sans eyelights going dark behind you.

You didn’t stay in the gardens for much longer after that. Sans seemed to have lost interest, and Papyrus didn’t have much to say about the plants other than to make honey and bee puns. So, you suggested that you all go find something to eat. The skelebros agreed, and not too long later you’re all tucking in to some good ol’ fashioned park hot dog stand hot dogs. “I don’t know how you can stand to eat that.” You said, munching on your chili-dog and watching Papyrus as he pours copious amounts of honey on his corndog.

“Don’t knock it till ya try it babe.” Papyrus said, holding out the gooey corndog for you to try. You look dubiously at it, but you figure eh, why not? And lean down to take a bite. Your eyes widen when you realize it’s actually not that bad. The honey went well with the sweetness of the fried breading, and highlighted the savory hotdog.

“Huh.” You said. “That is good. Guess I’ll have to get it next time.”

“HERE, TRY MINE KITTEN!” Sans said, shoving his hotdog in your face. It was a regular hotdog, with mustard, ketchup, and tons of relish.

You were startled for a moment, but then you smiled at the sweet gesture(not having picked up on Sans’ aggressive tone) and leaned forward to take a bite. “Mmm.” You said, chewing “Yours is really good too Sans. I love relish.”

“OF COURSE YOU DO HUMAN! HOW COULD YOU NOT? AFTER ALL RELISH IS MUCH BETTER THAN HONEY IS IT NOT?”

“Weelll, I don’t know about that, but it is tasty!” You said. “Here do you guys wanna try mine too?”

“I WOULD LOVE TOO HUMAN!” Sans said, opening his mouth. You feed him a bite. After swallowing, he said “THAT WAS MOST DELICIOUS!”

“I’m glad you like it. Alright, now it’s your turn Paps.”

Before you could offer up the chili-dog, Papyrus leans forward and takes a bite. “Pretty good.” He says. “But, the real question is, which one is your favorite kitten?”

“SURELY IT IS MY CHOICE OF ROASTED DOG. AFTER ALL, HOW COULD SOMETHING COVERED IN FRIED DOUGH AND THEN SLATHERED IN HONEY POSSIBLY COMPARE?”

Papyrus smirked. “You’d be surprised bro. Besides, I think you might be jumping to conclusions. It seemed like kitten liked my hotdog better.”

“NO, SURELY THEY LIKED MINE BETTER.”

“I think they liked mine better.”

“Maybe you should let them speak for themselves.” You interrupted. The boys startled, seeming to have forgotten you were there for a moment. You looked at them both, confused. “It’s just food, guys. What’s all the fuss about?”

The skelebros looked guiltily at each other for a moment. “We… might have gotten carried away trying to impress you.” Papyrus admitted.

“YES. IT WOULD SEEM THAT WE LET SIBLING RIVALRY GET THE BETTER OF US.” Sans added, looking shamefaced down at the ground.

“Was that what the asters were about?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow and looking at Papyrus.

“Well. Yeah. A little.” Papyrus mumbled.

“And ditching Papyrus at the botanical garden?” You asked, turning towards Sans.

“I admit, my behavior was terribly rude I know.” Sans said. You could tell he felt bad about what he did because he was actually speaking at a normal volume.

You sighed. “Look, we can’t continue to date if you guys are going to continue to act like this. While I appreciate the gestures, I like you both in different ways. You need to be able to understand that and stop trying to one-up each other.”

“We understand kitten.” Papyrus said.

“Yes. From now on I promise that we’ll be on our best behavior.” Sans agreed.

“Good.” You said. Then, you kissed both of them on the cheek, Sans first then Papyrus. Grinning at their stunned expressions, you finished your chili-dog and stood up, tossing the wrapper in the trash. “Now, let’s continue our date shall we? I saw some swings earlier, those looked like fun. How about it?” Holding your hands out, you smiled as each of the skelebros took one.

“Sounds like a good time to me. Right bro?” Papyrus asked.

“INDEED!” Sans said, back to (his) regular volume. “AN EXCURSION TO THE SWINGS SOUNDS MOST PLEASANT!”

Your smile felt like it was taking up half your face, as you walked hand-in-hand to the swings with your dates.

The End

A/N: If anyone reading this is interested in commissioning me or donating to my KoFi account, here’s a link!

Commission  KoFi