#i miss when my hometown had cold weather and rain all the fucking time. what happened to this place being a rainforest

[tthirdmember]

what do you mean there's 2 weeks until im 23 ......... since when

[shuichi-sama]

take me home, soldier. part 1

masterlist

warnings: war, blood, torture, kidnapping, guns, violence, bombs, curse words, etc.

Summary: When Yeonjun steps over the borderline into enemy territory he is captured by the mayor of the town and taken hostage into his house. Instigated and tortured for information, he wishes his last days would come quickly but when the major’s daughter finds the hidden room along with Yeonjun she wants nothing but to save him from the shackles of his cruel fate and Yeonjun comes to want to take her away from what is her cruel reality.

It was nighttime, or so he believed. The prior noises from the outside of his confined space ceased leaving nothing but Yeonjun's thoughts to eat him alive through the deathly silence instead.

His restraints weighed on him tons, cutting through his red and purple wrist from his attempt to pry them off. Sore and bruised limbs because of the brutal physical abuse he received the first day of being caught, the day after, the day before today, today, and the many more days to come. His knees soaked in crimson red, sharp-edged pebbles prickling deeper over every motion taken. He was tired, eyes adrift and covered, surely he was dead, considered a dead man, he wanted to be dead, wishing the agonizing aches would disappear even if the pain was the only thing making him fully aware that he was still there, that he was still alive, letting him know the end was yet to come.

Through the pain, Yeonjun was still completely aware of his surroundings. His senses drifting to make note of all the noises around him giving him something else to think about aside from his captivation and agony. The sounds of the cicadas singing reminded him of the soft humming of his mother's lullabies, along with rain that began to pour complemented by loud thundering resonated through the room brought him images of his hometown where the weather was unpredictable, but all the same, he missed it.

But other sounds didn't bring Yeonjun comfort, on the contrary, he wishes he could zone them out, the voices that would lurk outside the room in the morning and evening time before they made their way inside the room to continue their game of bloody torture.

And the one he hated the most, the one he dreads all day to come just like tonight, the antagonizing sound of a key clicking and turning the lock, the prolonged creaking sound of the wooden door opening as if taunting his freedom that stood a couple of feet away from him. The only thing standing between each other? The restraints and whoever was standing before him now.

They stood in silence as if simply just admiring the young boy kneeling down on his own lifeline. Even if Yeonjun couldn't see them, he could feel their presence. Waiting impatiently for their next move perhaps kick, a jab, anything, his body shaking with anxiety and fear, the thought of receiving yet another wound that would bring him closer to death's door crosses his mind, but nothing ever came.

Licking his chapped lips, Yeonjun's betrayed by his own horsed and barely audible voice due to lack of dehydration. "Are you just going to just stand there?"

Yeonjun's sentences came less composed than he wanted them to be. His words shook as he spoke, he was afraid and anyone who would think they wouldn't be in this situation hasn't experienced it, because when face to face with death anyone would be afraid even the devil himself.

"I already told you, I don't know anything, s-so, either just let me go or put me out of my fucking misery already."

The grating sound of shoes skipping rocks unintentionally, alerted Yeonjun of their advances towards his feeble body, kneeling before him. This had been the closest he could have possibly been to death and yet a faint sob could be heard from Yeonjun's cracked lips, who's torn between two choices, mercy or surrender.

Breath hitching at the proximity, Yeonjun's heart that had been running miles beyond humanly possible, stopped abruptly, dropping to the pit of his stomach as the blinds of his eyes were untied, freeing him to see the person in front of him. The brush of the girl's delicate hand rested on his cheek, cupping streams of tears he never knew he let out down his pale complexion.

"It's okay, you're okay." She said reassuring him her own set of tears streaming down her face at the beaten man in front of her. "You're not alone anymore. I'm going to get you out of here, you have my word."

And just like that the coldness he had felt all along vanished at the simple act of another, allowing him to be vulnerable and break down completely in the hands of this girl that gave him hope for another tomorrow, where death wasn't an option for him anymore.

[free-pool-trash]

All Too Well - Natsuya Kirishima x Reader

HEYYYYYY I’M BACK. (yes i’m aware I said the exact same thing in March and then didn’t come back but hey I’m here now) Y’all we are so close to 1K followers and I fucking love you all so much!!! IF THIS IS BAD IM SORRY IT’S LIKE 3AM

Having said that here is some Natsuya angst!!! I based this off one of my favorite songs ‘All Too Well’ by Taylor Swift so please enjoy!

LEAVE A NOTE AND PLEASE COMMENT OR REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY IT <33

word count: 1,761

MASTERLIST 

The sky was dark as the rain poured, hitting your window with a soft pattering sound that soothed your aching heart only slightly, the weather seemed to be reflecting how you felt in that moment, after everything had fallen apart once again.

You remembered how you felt when everything about the entire situation you keep finding yourself stuck in was new, how you felt the first time he’d introduced you to his little brother, how silly you felt when you’d left your favorite scarf at his little brothers apartment, how he’d laughed and told you he’d get it back for you, how even after saying that you never did get it back and how whenever you were with him something about him always felt like home somehow.

Recalling how before all of the drama, the way he acted and all of his sweet little quirks, you remembered how mesmerizing they were to you. How at the best of times you couldn’t take your eyes off of his bright and happy face and how you never even had a care in the world so long as he was with you.

Thinking about those times now though, as the rain seemed to grow heavier, you couldn’t seem to remember why he was so bad for you despite the fact that you’d just re-lived the worst pain of your life and it was a pain that was once again caused by him.

But still, your mind was clouded over with the memories, only the good times showing in your head.

Music blared through the old car’s radio as it sped down the motorway, the road was devoid of any cars except your own and the only other thing on the dark tarmac were the leaves that had been continuously falling from the trees at the side of the road all autumn, the bright colors added beauty to the usually grim looking road.

“Oh I love this song! Babe turn it up” You exclaimed from the driver's seat as your boyfriend chuckled at your excitement and turned up the radio as you requested, his eyes gazing at you lovingly as you screamed along with the music, your happy face captivating him like it somehow always managed to, and he couldn’t help how he leaned across from the passenger seat to kiss you softly on the cheek, his brown hair tickling you as he pulled away, still gazing at you.

“What was that for?” You’d asked, giggling like a schoolgirl.

“You looked cute, I couldn’t resist.” He responded, his beautiful amber eyes closing and his mouth stretching into a smile.

You could see it so vividly, even after all the time had passed and all the magic died away, you could still feel the soft touch of his lips against your cheek, the feeling haunting you as it always did whenever that particular memory crossed your mind.

What hit you hardest though, were the memories that were still fresh, the ones that were going to be different, these were the ones you thought wouldn’t be tainted by a heartbreaking ending, but just like the rest, they had been. It hurt, remembering the look of happiness and hope on his face when he had seen you that day, back in his hometown of Iwatobi, after such a long time he still thought you were the most incredible person in the world, even with the wind blowing your hair in all directions and the cold air making the tip of your nose appear red, he’d given you that look and you gave one of your own right back, both of you silently wishing that this time it’d work out.

But again your mind threw you back, back to when he'd introduced you to his mother. The woman who had welcomed you into her home with such open arms, the woman who as soon as she got the opportunity whipped out your boyfriend's baby pictures.

"Awh look at little baby Natsuya in his little glasses!" You teased him, giggling as his cheeks turned red and he moved to shut the photo album, "Alright that's enough of that for one night." He'd laughed out, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close, he kissed your head as you pouted at him. His mother watched you both with a soft smile before she spoke up. "You know, before you Natsuya never even had a girlfriend." To which you laughed and snuggled closer to him, "Yeah, I know…"

You remember how he said that you'd be his last girlfriend too, how he told his mother that he had it all figured out with you, how later that night he'd laid out every detail of his life to you thinking wholeheartedly that you'd be with him for the rest of it, and you wished he'd have been right.

You had known that those times were long gone and that when the story of you and Natsuya came to an end there was nothing else you could have possibly done to stop it.

When you ended you forced yourself to forget about him and now, here you were sat alone, rain still pouring and wishing you hadn't forgotten exactly why you needed to forget him in the first place.

Natsuya watched you from his side of the bed with a wide smile, amber eyes scanning your blushing face. You looked back at him, quickly kissing him before getting out of the warm bed.

"Where you going?" He whined as he watched you throw on one of his t-shirts, the fabric fitting you like a dress. "To get some water, you want anything?" You asked him as you walked toward his kitchen, when he didn't answer you figured he didn't want anything.

Opening the fridge to get a bottle of water, you felt strong arms wrapping around your waist and lips on your neck, you laughed as you turned around to come face to face with the boy you'd loved and lost and then loved again.

"You really couldn't wait two minutes huh?" You questioned with a smile, your arms wrapping around his neck and the water in the open fridge being forgotten.

"I missed you." He told you sincerely, making your heart flutter as he began to sway with you, humming your song from way back when. 

When you thought back to the way you both danced, the bulb of the refrigerator being the only light in the kitchen that night, you wondered how everything had gone so wrong yet again.

"What do you mean, 'it just isn't the right time' Natsuya? I thought we got past this?!" You'd yelled out at him, as you felt like you were having deja Vu.

You wondered if maybe you weren't understanding him right, that maybe you were both just getting lost in translation, but his next words proved to you that that wasn't the case.

"I'm just not ready to settle yet okay?" He told you, pulling his hand through his hair.

"Nobody is asking you to fucking settle, you said you wanted to travel so you could race I really don't see where I'm the problem with that plan, Natsu!" His jaw clenched as your voice gradually got louder with the more upset you became.

"I just don't want to think about having you here waiting for me every place I go, alright? I want my freedom." 

All you could do was let out a dry and humorless laugh, you really were having a deja Vu, because that was exactly what he told you the first time he broke your heart. "I want my freedom"

Nodding you stormed toward the door of his apartment, "Guess even after all this time, being enough for you is still too much to ask. Have your freedom, Natsuya, but don't you even think of calling me up just so you can break me again the next time your in town and that 'freedom' turns into loneliness." You told him, your voice cracking as you left through his front door. You practically ran from his apartment building, you remembered it so clearly the way your chest heaved and the tears fell down your face.

The thing you wished you hadn't forgotten about him was his ability to be so cruel even if it was in the sake of being honest, you'd hoped that had changed but it never had.

Shaking your head and wiping your eyes you continued to stare out the window at the pouring rain. It felt like you'd been sitting in that position for hours, like time had barely passed and you couldn't get away from it, like there was nothing you could do to make it go faster.

This wasn't like you, but after all this, you weren't sure what was like you anymore.

Little did you know that Natsuya was having the same inner turmoil as you were, he was all the way across the city yet all he was thinking about were the nights that you spent together, the days that you both wasted away, the ones where you'd laze around all day wearing one of his old flannel shirts and he'd admire you simply for being you, now that he thinks about it those weren't the days wasted, but are the ones like today, where all he could think about was how stupid he was for letting what was most likely the love of his life slip through his fingers once again after you'd even given him a second chance.

He sat by his window, the scarf that you'd left in his little brothers apartment years ago held tightly in his grip. If he really meant what he said to you about freedom, he knew that by now, he would've thrown it away, but he hadn't and he knew that he wouldn't.

Because there he was again, imagining you, remembering how you'd wrapped that very scarf around you in the winter, how he'd grab it by the ends and use it to pull you into a loving kiss. Remembering when you loved him so so much, back before he'd fucked up the one real thing he'd ever known.

He loved you and he thought he'd be different this time, from the moment he saw you again with the wind in your hair, to the way you both danced around his kitchen in the middle of the night.

But the most vivid thing in his mind was the look on your face when you walked away.

He remembered it, all too well.

[jawnjendes]

i don’t know why | shawn mendes

university au a totally perfect summer babey, shawn x goth gf

AN: u know how life imitates art or vice versa???? yeah sometimes i hate that. anyway i thought i was gonna slow down with updates but i had one (1) free day before i move (tomorrow) so here is this do with her what you will

******let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters

masterlist | playlist

In the past, if there was ever a time I could trade 120°F weather for literally anything else, I would have taken it. I would have given anything to stay in Toronto over the summer if it meant I wouldn’t experience heat exhaustion from the moment I stepped outside. I would sell intense SoCal weather to Satan for a single cornchip.

It’s halfway through May, and I still wore a long sleeve and jeans when I went out. It rained sometimes, and when it didn’t, it was cloudy. I could appreciate the coziness that accompanied the weather, but for the time of year, it was also putting me into a weird headspace. I couldn’t shake the feeling of my body unconsciously waiting for sweltering, dry desert heat. I was supposed to be in shorts and a tanktop in my hometown, and Shawn was supposed to be there with me. We were both supposed to be facing the chaos that was my extended family.

On top of that, I was hating having to go to the dealership five times a week. That was all I had going for me now that school was out. I didn’t even work five days during the semester. I never worked in the summer at all in the last few years, and again, I was wearing sweaters in May.

On the bright side, Shawn went to his first therapy session, and it went well for him. Said he had a breakthrough, and ways to combat the night terrors, but he had more that night anyway. I had to time when his body would start twitching, and then wake him up 15 minutes prior. It worked well, and it brought some relief to us and our sleep. I was just glad he was finally doing something about all of this, even if he was still reluctant to talk to me about it.

Sometimes, we were on different wavelengths. Shawn was in the process of getting his perkiness back, and it showed when my pessimism was out and about. There was a balance of light and dark between us, and today Shawn had all of the light.

I decided to go barefaced today. I felt the need to not hide how tired and done I was with the world and its bullshit. My eyebrows were incredibly sparse, and the under eye bags were just a little sunken in. While I was eating solid food again, I was lacking in other nutrients, therefore I was still dropping weight. Why hide it, right?

Shawn just had to point out that I was not wearing makeup, and I just had to take it the wrong way.

“I can’t look pretty all the time,” I snapped.

“But you do look pretty all the time,” he replied, unfazed.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from the bathroom mirror. Shawn was standing next to me, putting product in his freshly washed hair when he noticed my body language.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I have nothing to complain about. I should be grateful.

I left the bathroom and went to change into my uniform. My company shirt needed a wash, but I made a mental note to douse myself in perfume before I left. I was also on my last pair of clean white leggings, which gave me another thing to do when I got home because Shawn doesn’t do laundry. He waits for his mom to come over and do everything for him.

He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, in his white Sting t-shirt and black jeans. I don’t know why I envied the fact that his only uniform was a stupid apron. Or the fact that he actually looked forward to going to work.

“Okay,” he spoke firmly, “not that long ago, you were pushing me to talk, now it’s your turn. What’s wrong?”

I sighed, not wanting to destroy the last chances I had at pulling myself together before my shift. “It’s nothing. I’m totally happy to be here.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

My skin was crawling with unreasonable annoyance. I wanted to yell at him, and for what? Was it his fault that my insides were the actual worst?

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Then I looked at him, and the underlying sadness started to creep in. “I just miss my parents… and California. I kinda wish I was there.”

Shawn’s eyebrows scrunched together. His tone was something I was not expecting in the slightest. “You don’t wanna live here?”

It didn’t take much to get me back to my angry state. “I didn’t say that,” I defensively argued. “I said I-”

He interrupted me. “No, no. You don’t wanna be here. You don’t wanna live with me. It makes sense, you’ve been moody this whole time!”

My eyes narrowed into a death glare. “What, am I not allowed to miss my hometown? Am I not supposed to be angry that my large intestine refused to cooperate and part of it had to be removed? Should I not be pissed off that I’m eating bland rice everyday?”

He looked more confused than angry. “I think you should be happy you made it, that you’re okay now.”

I scoffed. “I should be happy? I don’t get to go home until December! I don’t get to see my family this summer! It’s almost June and I’m wearing a fucking sweater!”

“Don’t you hate the desert?”

“You don’t understand!” I yelled. Well, I did it.

“What don’t I understand?” Shawn shot back, raising his own voice. “You hate living here, right? You want to leave, eh?”

“I never said that!” My fingers pulled at the hair on my scalp. “I’m pissed that this is how I ended up living with you! And I wasn’t ready to live with you to begin with! I’m pissed that I won’t get to see my family until the end of the year! And I’m pissed that I’m the one who almost died and you’re the one who’s traumatized!”

That definitely silenced him. Shawn's face fell in a way I had never seen before. My rage faltered a little bit, but not enough to take back anything I said. He asked what was wrong, and I told him. I was too impatient to wait for him to say something, so I grabbed my purse and my keys and I was out of the apartment in a flash.

~

Under normal circumstances, I was very good at keeping my personal problems under wraps for the sake of remaining poised and professional. A customer could yell at me and throw a tantrum, and I'd keep my face neutral and polite. When I ended things with Luca, I feigned composure so well that I was named employee of the month.

But no, a stupid fight with my boyfriend threatened my professional-but-mildly-bitchy reputation! I was able to be polite to customers, both over the phone and in person, but I was testy to any coworker that came within a five foot radius of my desk. The finance, sales, and parts managers all fell victim to my signature death stare at various points in the morning. I was honestly shocked I wasn't fired by lunch.

Shortly after my lunch break, Stacy made her departure, leaving me with Jason and Luca. I gave them the cold shoulder from the moment they entered the office, a signal for them to leave me the fuck alone. They obliged, but they still clowned around at the back of the office.

"Dude," Jason said in his stoned out drawl, "they should replace lube… with hand sanitizer."

Luca chuckled. "The fuck? What'd you smoke today?"

"Nah, dawg," he continued, "replace lotion, with IcyHot."

I had my back to them, so they didn't see the puzzled expression on my face. As if I haven't heard such crackheadery like this before. Sometimes it made me laugh, but obviously not today.

"Okay, I got one," Luca said between laughs. "Replaces pads… with aluminum foil."

"Replace tampons with paintbrushes."

"Or! Sticks of dynamite!"

There was only half a brain cell in this room, clearly. That half was taken by Jason, who had a customer come in asking for him. He left the office, giving Luca a smug look through the small window.

There were plenty of people still in the building. The other managers, sans Stacy, and the rest of the salesmen were running around doing boring business things. I wished I had things to do, like file repair orders in the filing closet that was nowhere near this office. Or add up more gas receipts… Or have a long, pointless conversation with a customer over the phone. I literally wished I could do anything to avoid the fact that I was alone with Luca for the first time in months.

Of course, he could never keep his mouth shut.

"So, did your boyfriend break up with you?" he asked in a teasing, childish tone.

I ignored him and pretended to be busy with car repair orders. I didn't even know how to read them most of the time.

"You know I helped Shawnie boy write a song," Luca went on.

My blood boiled remembering how badly Mercy was ruined for me. The real meaning behind the lyrics messed me up more than I liked to admit. I hadn't listened to that song in months because of him, apart from when Shawn would perform it. Still, spite kept my mouth shut.

"Answer me, you little whore," Luca deadpanned. "Thought we were cool."

No, I do not know where the logic is behind that. Luca's mind was unlike anything I've ever encountered, and I can't believe I used to find it so attractive and endearing. I used to take his degrading name calling as terms of endearment. Maybe it was in a twisted way. But that was then. Now, he couldn't even compare to the man I had now.

Luca grew impatient, and decided to approach my desk. He leaned against the surface, practically sitting on it, and his brown eyes burned a hole into the side of my head.

"That song was about you."

Brand new information!

"And I'm assuming you've heard it," he continued. "So you know how I really feel."

Finally, I huffed out a sigh and looked up at him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you know it's true and it gets to you." He smirked, showing off dimples that I used to adore. He talked like this was some sort of challenge, and god knows he loved to challenge me.

"You're a lot of things," I said, "but you're not a liar. Why start now?"

"I'm not a liar. You just don't wanna believe that someone could love you."

I really did not know where to start with that. He never loved me because he frequently went to me when he was bored and horny. He never loved me because he didn't want the things I wanted, and instead of letting me go, he kept stringing me along. He knew I wouldn't leave.

I  scoffed and got to my feet, not wanting to be looked down on anymore. "You don't know that. You don't know anything about me."

Luca turned his whole body towards me. He was still smirking as he fixed the stupid RayBans perched on his nose. "If anyone's gonna know anything about you, it's me. I know you better than anyone here. I probably know you better than Shawn does. And you hate that, huh?"

He was the only person who wasn't intimidated by my death stare. He was the only person who made me powerless and small. And yeah, I really fucking hated that.

"Oh, so now you suddenly wanna admit that? Now I'm worth something to you?" I spat.

Whatever cockiness Luca had on suddenly faltered. He took a step back, ready to shut down, but I wasn't having it anymore.

"You had feelings, eh?" I asked, internally cursing the vernacular that planted itself into my vocabulary. "So where was all of that last year? Where was all of that when I was tearing myself apart to put you back together?"

"I never asked you to fix me," Luca said. "You just didn't want to fix yourself. I know I was just another person you didn't want to commit to in the long run."

"I wanted you to-" I tried to say, but he interrupted me.

"Oh, I bet you wanted me to be your boyfriend. But I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed. Wonder how Shawn deals with you."

It felt like the glass bubble surrounding me was shattered with a sledgehammer. It felt like the wind was knocked out of me, or like my spirit had been forcibly removed from my body. My face was hot to the touch, and angry tears were threatening to come out of my eyes. Everything around me suddenly turned grey and went in slow motion. This feeling in my chest was dull and aching, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Even when Jason entered the office again, I still felt like I was floating. Luca went back to his desk, and my body moved back into my chair. Memories of finishing up my shift were spotty. This darkness was awfully familiar.

I found myself wandering around Walmart after work. My legs felt numb, but they moved and worked like they should. My breath was constantly getting caught in my throat, and my spirit was just following its vessel around the store. I felt like I could collapse at any moment, and I could just let the ground swallow me whole. I tried looking at the video games in the electronic section to get myself back to normal, but I just felt numb. I ended up buying a stick of deodorant and an ice cream bar I couldn't eat.

~

Shawn was already home when I got there, and he still wasn't talking to me. There wasn't anything in me that wanted to try to fix that. He needed to sit with his angry boi feelings anyway. My body moved past the living room, where he was sitting watching Netflix. He looked at me, I saw it from my peripherals, but I just silently turned into the bedroom.

I spent the next hour leaning against the wall in the shower, hot water coming down on my back. I had a specific Halsey song on repeat blaring through the bathroom, even though my spirit floating above my body knew it wouldn't help the situation. I just needed to feel something.

"Tell me how's it feel sitting up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?"

Eventually, I was back on Earth, and the water was cold. My limbs ached as I moved around again to shut the shower off, but at least I was feeling something. Once the noise from the running water was gone, I was forced to hear more of that damn song. I still didn't bother to change it as I stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Gave love 'bout a hundred tries

Just running from the demons in your mind

Then I took yours and made 'em mine

I didn't notice cuz my love was blind"

I made quick work of drying off and getting dressed. I didn't bother with putting leave-in conditioner in my hair or moisturizing my skin. I stared down at the sink and processed what went down at work.

"I didn't ask you to fix me. You just didn't wanna fix yourself. I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed."

Shouldn't you want to fix the one you love when they're down? Wouldn't you do anything you can to ensure that the one you love would be okay? Why else would I give up therapy so Shawn could take my place?

Oh, crap. Shawn.

Before I knew it, I was walking out of the bathroom, back to the living room. Shawn was still on the couch, take out box in hand. I watched him eat pasta as I leaned against the doorway. My voice came out raspy and wavering, but still coherent.

"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Talking alone caused a crying fit to form in my chest and throat. I turned on my heel, not expecting much of anything until-

"Did you eat?"

I stopped in my tracks, but I didn't face him. I cleared my throat before speaking again. "Not hungry."

"Hey, I know we fought, but you still need to eat."

"That's, that's not why…" I trailed off. This was a time where I wanted to sit and cry in his arms, something I never did. (The hospital doesn't count - I was under the influence of morphine.) I knew he was still mad at me, though. I couldn't ask him for anything. The only thing I could do was clear my throat some more.

Mad as he was, Shawn was still persistent. "Do you feel sick?"

Yes, but not the way he was probably thinking. I wouldn't even know how to explain it.

"No," I said simply.

I heard Shawn move from the couch, but I still kept my back to him.

"Is something-"

I cut across him. "Don't try to be nice to me. You don't have to after the way I acted."

"We had an argument, we didn't break up," Shawn said.

Slowly, I turned my head to look back at him. The only thing between us was the doorway. Shawn didn't seem as wound up as he did this morning, but that didn't mean he probably wasn't feeling it anymore. I didn't want to risk another fight.

"I didn't mean anything I said this morning," I told him, my voice still small. I couldn't find it in me to fake composure. "I like living with you, and I appreciate everything you've done for me."

He nodded. "I'm sorry too. I understand that you miss your family. I miss mine, and they're only a half hour drive from here."

If I didn't have this surgery then I would be at home and I wouldn't have been irrationally shaken to the core by Luca's words. I could literally be in my childhood bed right now.

"Yeah," I mumbled, reaching my threshold. "Yeah, I do miss home."

Shawn then waved me over. "Come on. Come here."

I felt like I was going to fall apart as I stepped out of the small bedroom. My knees shook slightly, but Shawn took my hand and led me into the spacious area, over to the couch. He watched me as I sat down. I must have looked like a right mess if he was giving me careful eyes, like I might break into pieces at any given moment.

He got up and grabbed the grey, woolen blanket from the other end of the couch and draped it over my lap. "So… how was work?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I stared at the TV, but I didn't really care about what was on.

"Alright. Do you wanna play Breath of the Wild?"

Tears welled up in my eyes in a split second, and I rapidly nodded my head and sobbed out, "Yeah…"

[jkstories]

April 12th | jjk

summary ↦ ʻYou were in a constant déjà vu. You knew every look the clients would do. How much time would take to the police arrive. But Jungkook? He was never the same. Always unpredictable and mysterious.ʼ

pairing ↦ jungkook x reader

genre ↦ loop/ i don’t even know au

word count ↦ 3.2k

authors note ↦ i’m terrible at oneshot stories but i tried my best!! give it some love plsss <333

His head felt light compared to the heavy pain on your chest. It was now the 13 time you woke in that same position along with his cinnamon shampoo sense all over your sheets.

The sensation of a bullet between your eyes was been your alarm clock for the past 12 days and Jungkook’s crying eyes screaming to surrender following your fall is the last memory you have of the day before.

You thought to yourself everyday what could possibly be wrong. What position it’s wrong, or is it just hopeless. But something kept you from giving up. Jungkook’s eyes give you more than the feeling of hope. They give you company, something you never had.

You brushed the strands of his hair away from his forehead so you could see his angelic face. He seems calm for a boy like him. Always talking and never listening. Maybe that was the issue. You were sure time will bring him more comprehension to listen to your instructions and less to his impulsive actions, but time wouldn’t stop this forever loop and so wouldn’t you.

You can say you are a lucky person. You have a great job in a coffee shop, a house far from the craziness of the city and you found someone you see yourself marry.

But April 12 was not your lucky day, at all. 12 days ago, or today, you decided to put everything on a line so you could run from your safe home. You made a plan to robber a not very movement bank.

You told Jungkook and he didn’t seem so shocked as you thought he would be. You both worked every detail of the plan and then you executed but something missed from all your “what if this happens” or “all the plans bs”. After 1 hour of perfection the cops were called and they killed you in the most aggressive and raw away possible.

For those 3 seconds before the bullet hit your head, you thought about Jungkook and his future.

After the last seconds of your life, you blinked and there you were. In the same bed than before. You checked your phone.

April 12th.

So you got up and did all of it again. You woke Jungkook and he shouted a fuck right away and you knew you weren’t alone on this.

You and Jungkook did all the same as the day before and nothing worked. You end up always getting killed in the same way so you were forced to accept your fate and work your way out.

You talked about everything you could remember. Times, movements, things that went wrong, what could work this time and a way to not die.

Again there you were. 12 days after and one more robbery had to be done.

His breathe started to get heavier and there you knew.

Jungkook tries to understand where the gun shots come from and then he runs to first floor to see you standing in front of 4 police guards shooting the air one time. You falling to the ground at the second gunshot, he takes his gun from his back and places it against the side of his head, then he pulls the trigger and-

“FUCK” Jungkook jumped from the bed making you lose his warmness. You quickly got up and hugged him from behind feeling him trembling more than usual. A simple motion from Jungkook and you already felt in panic.

“It’s fine baby, it’s another day now, I’m here baby” you couldn’t handle it anymore but Jungkook was your strength, your start, your one and only, and now, your entire day and night. It was him every time and everyday. It took a couple of minutes for Jungkook to calm down and look you in eyes. “What are we going to do, gguk?”

“I don’t know babygirl, but we’ll find a way.”

And that gave you the strength for your legs to work correctly, your hands not to tremble and your head not to fail you.

The last 12 days have been the same. You wake up around 1:36:29 p.m. and Jungkook or wakes 27 seconds later or 45 minutes and 57 seconds later.

Those 27 seconds put Jungkook in a choice between trying harder or giving up. All this without you. Because in that moment, you already have a perfect shot in between your eyes. Has the days pass, Jungkook started to give up more often because he feels lost without you. In a life without you, Jungkook anticipates the death that comes 27 seconds later.

With 45 minutes and 57 seconds, Jungkook runs through the streets of his hometown trying to escape the hands of the police but nothing makes him free. Without you, freedom isn’t free.

You’ve been planning the robbery for 1 week now but those 12 days you never expected to have, have given you the future. You knew what time the clients would enter, what for and what time they would leave the chosen bank but still, you would get caught every single time.

After calming Jungkook down, you start the day by reviewing the plan against Jungkook’s chest while seating in your cold ground.

“What’s the weather for today?” Jungkook hugs your waist and leaves little kisses on your shoulder while you search the weather in your old computer.

“The same as usual. Traffic too. The same fuckin day.”

“Hey, hey, baby” you turned your body following his hands to your face, to face him and meet his black eyes. “We will be fine, i promise you okay? I’ll get you out of this, I promise.” Your face drops to his shoulder and he rubs your neck trying to comfort you and your fears. “I have an idea but you are not going to like it.”

“Shot, I have nothing to lose.”

“Let’s stick to plan but exactly at 4:31 and” he looks closely at his watch as you slowly lift up your head “21 seconds, you can take the car th-“

“No.”

You got up but Jungkook catches you in one move and honestly, you didn’t want to leave, Jungkook’s arms felt too good and too right for you to lose them.

“Baby, I would come to you as soon as I could and then we would run to whatever country you want.” You were again against Jungkook’s chest and you could feel his pulse. Always calming and relaxing.

“Whatever country I want?” Your eyes light up to the sound of your dream on your mind and Jungkook felt the luckiest man in the world for being to call you his.

“Whatever you want.”

“Still it’s a no gguk.”

It makes you alive in the most deadly way ever. Feeling like you may lose him to a stupid robbery but that you need.

You and Jungkook lost 10 minutes arguing about a quick escape you weren’t accepting, but as much stubborn as you were, Jungkook can sometimes be worse than you, so, only after promising you that he would buy you the biggest house near the beach and cuddle with you for the rest of your life, you accept his offer.

3:56:32

You drove to the center of Jungkook’s least favorite city and waited there, holding hands with him and jamming to some pop song on the radio, for a pregnant women with black hair and a trolley to close the door of the bank. Looking at the streets, you see more than a normal city.

You met Jungkook in that same town. It was raining, you were alone in your uncomfortable heels and no cabs were around.

“Need a ride home baby?” You met his gaze when you looked at your right. It was dark but fuck, you swear to god you saw an angel. Black hair, black eyes, and all black outfit, but you still see him was the purest angel.

“Oh-h no, I’m fine, thank you. I’m just going to walk.” You started to walk in the opposite way but he followed you. You aren’t afraid of death. You are afraid of dying being a piece of shit to the world and so, for every second Jungkook followed you down the streets, you thought about how not ready you were to die.

“I’m not making uncomfortable, right?”

“You are. Like, a lot.”

“Thank god, you said it. I’m already tired of walking.”

And he left. You were again alone, 5 km away from your house. 10 seconds before you were scared of dying and now you are searching for your earphones and plugging them on your phone so the walk would be less lonely.

You were walking peacefully for a couple of minutes but, as much lucky you can be sometimes, life, once in a while, tries to scare you along the way or more specifically to teach to look at both sides before crossing the road so, while listening to the loudest song on your playlist, you were almost hit by a black motorbike, and guess who was driving? Yes, the man of your life. The one and only Jeon Jungkook. You fell to the ground and your hand burned in pain.

“WHAT THE FUCK, are you okay?!” The all in black guy jumped from the bike and ran to you.

“Yeah-yeah, I’m fine, fuck,” Jungkook placed a hand on your back and other around your legs, and lift you up.”I just want to get home, just sit me in the bench please.” Your hand was bleeding but the pain would start to go away. Jungkook walked the opposite way of the bench but you were already ready to pass out due to the blood on your skirt.”Jungkook, no, not there, the bench.”

“No, I’m taking you home.”

And without noticing, Jungkook cured your wound with some first aids he had left on his motorbike and you were now speeding through the streets of your now second hometown.

3:59:01

The streets were clear and Jungkook made the first move to get out of the car. You followed him, after turning off the radio. He made his way to you, grabbed your hand and helped you get out of the car.

“It will be easy. Stick to the plan and, in 1 hour, we will be heading to whatever country you want baby.” He kissed you and you both walked to the bank.

You were in a constant déjà vu. You knew every look the clients would do. How much time would take to the police arrive. Which TV station would arrive first. Which child would cry first. But Jungkook? He was never the same. Always unpredictable and mysterious.

This building was huge from the out and inside, and for as much days you spent there, it always looks intimidating.

Jungkook opened the glass door for you, you stepped inside the building and the first thing you do is search for your earphones, plug them in your phone and then connect your phone to the bank’s network.

YOU ARE NOW LISTENING TO PARTNERS IN CRIME FROM THE STROKES

The whole building was now connected to your phone. Every employee, every client, and those you pass in front of this place would hear your favorite song of all time. You made sure to leave it in max volume so everyone could hear it.

You never understood why massive buildings as a bank would all be connected to the same network. You lost the interest in hacking these type of services, because they give an open window.

Everyone around you felt confused and some looked like hurting what you found quite offensive.

You and Jungkook waited about 10 seconds of those you decide to leave but no one did.

Time is underrated. Without time, in every circumstance, we are nothing. Look at you. You are living in a loop of time. If you are forced to live here, you are nothing but if you do nothing with the time they give you, you are nothing as well.

No one moved from their spot, so you grabbed your gun from your back and shot the first camera you could find. Jungkook did the same in the opposite side and exactly 7 people ran away while the other 21 lay on the ground. You ran to the door and locked it with 8 handcuffs.

Why? It will be easy for the hostages to get away and it will definitely be a distraction for the police.

“All done here.” You turn around and you don’t find Jungkook. He was probably cutting some wires behind the balcony, but you were so scared of losing him that seconds were days.

Fuck. Don’t freak out. Play it cool y/n.

You moved to the center of the now messy bank and look through the scared crowd. You shot the air for no reason.

“Hello everyone! My name is two.” You do the peace sign and do a quick round so everyone could see and hear it. “Yes, the number two. I won’t take long, I promise. In 1 hours you will all be at your house with family, friends or even alone. I’m, for sure, not here to hurt you or give a traumatic experience. Just don’t do stupid things and we will be out of here as soon as possible. Ok?”

“ok!” you jump a little from Jungkook’s voice on your ear and you curse at yourself for always getting scared. He always does it but in different situations and you are sick of it. (not really but ://) You push him a little and he placed a transparent card on your hand. You start to walk to the stairs while hearing Jungkook give some instructions to the hostages.

4:00:05

You reached the computer room. It was full of people writing in their own computer while discussing the reason of the loud music. Everyone looked so confused that it was quite funny, you would say. And yes, the music was on repeat.

Computer 19, line 23

You reach “your” quite messy desk that belong to the secretary from downstairs and took from your bag an usb pen and some codes so you could start working.

On the other side, Jungkook leaned 7 hostages to the cafeteria, and other 7 to the waiting room.

In 35 minutes, the police would arrive and Jungkook tries to understand where the leak is. For 35 minutes Jungkook walked from room to room but nothing seemed off. Everything looked too perfect for it to fail something this important as someone secretly calling the police.

4:27:09

TRANSITION at 45%

You successfully broke the network and robbed each and every person on that building with only some codes and clicks. You were 4 minutes away from getting away with nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Boo: 44%?

You: 45% ahaha

Boo: how can you laugh? We are robbing a bank

You: your idea asshole

Boo: I CAN’T FIND THAT ONE MEME YOU ARE TELLING ME TO FUCK OFF

Boo: but baby

Boo: can you go now? I will handle that

Boo: i promise

You fear being without Jungkook. You fear losing him to this. You fear a world where Jungkook is not in it. And he fears it too.

You: i’m coming

You looked at the screen of the computer and estimate 10 minutes for it to be done. So you got down stairs, grabbed your stuff and went to find Jungkook.

You found him in the waiting room with a 65 old lady who got very but very anxious for the 13 time.

You placed your hand on his shoulder to get his attention. There was no need for words. You left a kiss on his head and left for the back door.

You found this black car with the engine on and you took no time to get in.

4:35:07

Jungkook was now alone trying to control 21 people, all at the same time when he hears the first sirens. 3 more minutes, the transition will be completed and he will be out of there.

Jungkook got it all covered. The hostages were calm and thankfully patient, the police wasn’t very close and the love of his life was safe.

Boo: is everything fine there?

You: yup, everythings fine

Well, fine wasn’t the right word to describe it. Everything was really bad. You are now, not out the country but in the back seat of the car. Both of the exits were closed with “temporary fuckin fence”. Of course you could just destroy them but everyone would notice and you couldn’t just give that way. So you got in the building again.

Jungkook got everything covered. Everything less you. And that was it. You ran to the stairs and picked the usb pen after confirming the transition. You got down and found Jungkook looking straight at you.

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N?”

“Baby, both exits are fuckin closed, what could I do?” you sat on the stairs and stared at Jungkook thinking and thinking and thinking.

“Go back to the car, I’ll find a way.” You got up to him but he didn’t notice.

“I won’t Jungkook, I’m staying.”

“Y/n can’t you do something I tell you one fucking time?”

And so you did. You ran to the back door.

You ran to the fucking back door that you left unlocked.

You ran to the fucking back door that you left unlocked which let the police enter and shot you right in the middle of your eyes.

For the fuckin 13 time.

14:07:51

And there you were. Again on your bed. You looked at your phone. 12th April.

No longer with Jungkook in your chest but now hugging you from behind.

27 seconds passed and nothing happened. You guessed Jungkook would run the streets and escape.

You felt sleepier than any of the other days.

You felt deader than before. You just wanted to sleep all day and forget everything. So you did.

17:28:18

You woke up to the sound of your dog scratching your door.

“Sum-sumo stop that” you rolled over the bed and looked at your clock. “Fuck, what?” You slept a way too much but in the worst case, tomorrow you will just sleep even more. Your eyes widened to no sign of Jungkook at your side. You got off the bed and searched the all bedroom. No sign of his phone, clothes and neither that familiar cinnamon sense.

You searched every part of your house and nothing. You called and messaged him, and nothing would come from that.

He wouldn’t do the robbery alone right? He wouldn’t risk it all like that. Of course not. He wouldn’t.

The worst part of waiting for him was the certainty that he was capable of doing it alone without asking permission or even a warning.

So you turned on the TV.

The first channel talked about an Australia Zoo, the second about Trump, the third about the number of deaths in crime, the fourth a robbery on-

The robber was shot on the chest inside the bank while trying to remove an USB pen from the computer’s room. The assaulter was-

The rest of the night was cold. For 13 days, you were finally living something new but that you wish you would never lived. Living without Jungkook.

[love-for-ever-more]

I wanna feel love: Part 2

A deacury fic

John's POV

3 years ago -1971

It was raining heavily as we walked down one of the most crowded streets of London. My mood was at it's lowest and the dreadful weather wasn't helping a bit. It had only been a couple of days since Jane, my girlfriend at the time, broke up with me saying we weren't good enough together. She also abandoned her studies and London city, to go back to her hometown.

We arrived at the bar at 9:30 pm, soaked to the bone. The frozen air made us shiver and I had already regretted my decision of going out and try to have a nice night out. The people around us wasn't anything special and the performing band wasn't as great as my friend had promised. Nothing seemed able to cheer me up that night.

It was shortly after 10:00 pm when another band stepped on the stage when I started enjoying my night there. The way those guys were performing made me think that I wanted to be up there performing with them as well.

The guitar player was the tallest man I've ever seen and the way he was playing was amazing! I couldn't quite see the drummer but his sound was so powerful even though the one who entirely caught my attention was their lead singer. His voice was electrifying, so passionate and so strong! He seemed unstoppable! The bass player, on the other side, wasn't as great as the rest of the group. I thought he was trying to make his presence more noticeable through his appearance and his look than his talent. It seemed to me that he was in a sort of competition between himself and the singer of the band. Despite this, their music was brilliant and I wished I was sitting somewhere closer to the stage so I could get a better look at them.

Some days later in 1971

"Don't be so nervous John!" my friend Steve told me for the tenth time that afternoon "you're only meeting them today and they're gonna love you!"

It was almost 2 weeks after I had seen those guys perform when I learned that they were looking for a bass player. I contacted them and they invited me to a local bar near their flat to meet me. If everything went well I would soon be auditioned for their band. I hadn't got the chance to hear them play since that night but that memory was still very much alive inside me.

"Tomorrow they're gonna see that you are a great bass player and ta-da! That'll be it! So, stop worrying and try to relax!"

I arrived there on time and I spotted the tall guitarist right away. "Hello! I'm John!" I was trying to sound and look confident enough "we spoke on the phone yesterday!"

"John hi! I'm Brian and this is Roger the drummer" Brian shouted to be heard.

"Nice to meet you, John!" Roger smiled kindly and offered me a seat at their table. "Freddie is somewhere here, too. You'll meet him soon" he told me.

We were talking for some time about general stuff, drinking our beers when my eyes caught him coming over, hastily but still in such an elegant manner a supermodel would envy. Dressed in a pair of tight, white jeans and a tight, white t-shirt with red stripes and a slightly deep v-neck and having a deep red, velvet scarf draped around his neck...he looked gorgeous!

I took a heavy breath as I felt stupefied by his appearance, by his aura.

Have you ever felt what people describe as 'everything froze and the time stopped?' Yeah.. I was feeling like this when I was watching him approach us.

No one I've ever met till that day looked like him, no one till this very day to be precise. Stupefied is an understatement...

"Hello dear! I'm Freddie Bulsara!" he chanted and took my breath away. Effortlessly. "You must be John!"

"Yes. John. Umm John Deacon"  I muttered. My awkwardness far too obvious to hide it and my voice hardly audible even to myself. My eyes were fixed on his face, on his eyes. He was wearing black eyeliner and he looked even more beautiful.

"Nice to meet you, John! John Deacon!" he smiled and stretched his hand to make a handshake with me, sealing our acquaintance. I tried to conceal the tremble inside me but I ended up giving him a rather reluctant handshake and a shy smile.

He must have understood the uncomfortable place I was in, cause his smile widened as he patted me on the shoulder. I felt my cheeks blushing heavily cause I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I didn't know what came over me but I couldn't keep my eyes off of him!

"Come! Let us sit here for a bit, dear!" he invited me to sit on a nearby sofa.

I was still lost on him and it took me several seconds to understand where he was going. I started walking only when he was already sat there, looking intently at me. The two beers I had weren't enough to make me dizzy but today wasn't a regular day. The lights were into the same crazy fast rhythm as the music, the people around us were dancing in a frenzy and I was sitting next to him without being able to calm down.

"John is everything ok?" he asked.

"Mmm-hmm.. yeah. Yes everything's fine" I tried to sound ok but I knew my uneasiness was clear enough. He, on the other hand, was really cool. It was as if he knew I couldn't help myself stop gazing at him like that and he was acting as if everything was ok with me staring at him like that.

What was happening to me? I couldn't tell for sure, but I thought that this must be how someone feels when he sees the sun as a free man, for the first time, after having spent his whole life being incarcerated. Mesmerized by its magnificence and beauty.

"So I had to walk on my clogs for forty-seven fucking blocks to the uni!" I heard him say, bringing me back to reality. "Not only did I miss the fucking bus but I almost lost my damn fingers from the cold!" he started laughing with his left hand trying to hide his teeth from me, something I found unnecessary for him to do. His smile was as unique as his whole existence to me! His protruding teeth were fitting so perfectly his facial characteristics!

We both laughed at his little misfortune and continued drinking our beers having a casual conversation. He asked me about my studies and my hometown before turning his interest in my bass playing, something I found really helpful in order to relax before getting into a serious talk.

A blonde girl came hurriedly and grabbed him by his hand, taking him away just as I started to enjoy his company without feeling stressed. "Com'on Freddie!" she yelled "we gotta dance!"

He tried to apologize to me but he was quickly surrounded by other people and I lost sight of him.

I spent the rest of the night talking and drinking with Brian and Roger, though I couldn't stop looking around hoping to get a fleeting glimpse of him.

I decided to leave at around 01:30 am having arranged an early audition at the flat all three of them shared.

As I was putting my coat on I got a glance of him for a brief moment and saw that girl hanging from his arm and dancing. I was almost at the exit when I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. I turned around and saw him, looking quite drunk.

"I-I'm s-sorry about e-earlier darling!" he muttered and caught my arm to steady himself.

"No. It's ok" I smiled.

"Wi-Will you audition for us?"

"Yes! Tomorrow morning at 8:30"

His eyes gleamed as he said "I-I hope you b-be our bass play! Play-player I mean" He tried hard to sound articulate but failed.

"Thanks!" I said shyly again "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Of courssse de-dear!" he smiled and pulled his hands off of me. "G'Night John!"

"Good night!" I smiled back and exited the bar.

As I was walking back home I tried to think of something else rather than tomorrow's audition or the stress I was feeling because of it. Something completely irrelevant to everything that happened tonight. Something else than the guy with the skinny body and the raven hair that I met tonight. The advent of spring, maybe? the temperature will finally start raising, the flowers will start blossoming..

"Just imagine how beautiful.. he would be with a wreath of white and yellow daisies on his hair.." I said to myself out loud, closing the door from my flat. His image, wearing the wreath stayed on my mind the whole night after I had met him.

Now -1974

John smiled widely to himself at this memory of his and slowly opened his eyes. "That was the day I met Freddie. 3 years, thirteen days and... 4 hours have passed" he said to himself while looking at his watch "since I fell in love with him. Irreversibly and uncontrollably in love with Freddie."

"What?"

John sprang out of the couch with such a rush that he felt a little dizzy. He saw Roger standing near the kitchen door, his eyes wide open, full of surprise.

"Rog! What-what are you doing down here?" he asked, clenching his chest. "You scared the hell outta me!"

"I was thirsty so I got up to get some water. I thought you fell asleep on the couch..sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" he apologized. "But..what did you say? Is it true?"

"Did you hear me?" John asked, looking down.

"Well, at first I thought you were talking in your sleep but then I saw you looking at your watch" he said quietly. "Is it true though? Are you in love with Freddie?"

John took a deep breath and considered his options. Was there any reason to lie to his friend? Of course not. "Yeah..it's true" he admitted "I'm in love with him"

His voice was steady and clear and he was looking Roger directly in the eye.

'How strange' John thought. He could remember every time he had imagined, opening up his heart to Roger or Brian and he couldn't recall for once his voice to be that stable.

"Deaky!!" Roger squealed and made his way to hug him. "When did this happen? I mean- never mind.." he suddenly stopped talking and smiled widely at his friend. "You don't feel ashamed of it, do you?" Roger asked.

"No. Of course not. Why would I?"  John said, looking quite pleased with the turn of the events. "I don't know what kept me from saying it to you Rog.. but I feel relieved that I did. Even under these circumstances."

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Roger kept squealing like a little girl who has just been asked out by her crush "I can't believe I missed it! There are so many things I wanna ask you!"

"Roger shhh! Calm down..you are gonna wake Brian up!" John put his hand on Roger's mouth.

"Too late for that.." Brian yawned from the top of the stairs. "What's the matter anyway? Why are you making so much noise Rog?" he asked.

"Aww Brimi!! Did I wake you up?" Roger pouted for a moment and in the blink of an eye, he was pulling Brian from the neck of his t-shirt to get him down the stairs quickly and sit him down on the couch. "Come! Come Bri! Sit down! Here!" he patted the seat next to him.

"Roggie!" Brian laughed, "stop talking to me as if I'm a bloody dog.." he exclaimed and tickled Roger on his armpits, playfully.

"Ok, ok I surrender!" Roger laughed and pulled himself close to Brian. "John has something to announce. So please listen to him." he said in his most serious tone.

"Oh? What is it Johnny?" Brian glanced at John in concern.

"Well.. I didn't.. I wasn't gonna.. umm ok.. I guess it's better this way.. I'm in love with Freddie"

"What?" Brian was taken aback. "How can- what about- since when-" his mind was working really fast to understand what John just said to him.

"Wow!! Take it easy Bri! God!! you're even worse than I am!" Roger taunted making both of them burst out laughing.

They took a moment to compose themselves from Roger's remark and then John spoke.

"It's true Brian. And.. I'm happy to have finally admitted it to you two."

"We're happy too Deaky!" they both said simultaneously. Happy grins were formed on their faces.

"And.. I'm sorry that I made you come out, this way Deaks" Roger said "for making you admit your feelings for Freddie as if I was interrogating you.." he stopped and swallowed "and.. I'm sorry for making you tell Bri about it too.." he ended.

"Roger! you have to stop meddling with people's lives!" Brian laughed and pulled him closer by his waist.

"Aww shut up dear!" Roger mewled and put his arms around Brian's neck, hugging him. He turned to John and asked quietly "are you mad at me?"

"No Rog. We all know you, after all!"

"Good." Roger smiled "So, tell us how did it start? Do you think he-"

"I think it's time to get you back to sleep" Brian interrupted him, pulling slightly a golden lock from his hair "if John wants to tell us by himself anything more, he will Rog. There's no need to press him, is there?"

Roger sighed "but Bri I wanna know-"

"Roggie, let's give John some space. Ok?" he said again and got up from the couch taking Roger by his hand.

"Oookk" he finally agreed.

"We'll talk in the morning guys!" John laughed.

"Night Deaks!" they both said.

John was looking at them, getting up the stairs and couldn't help but call Roger back.

"Rog, can I ask you something before you go?"

"Sure" he said and got down again.

"You aren't gonna meet any girl in Newcastle, are you?" he asked with a huge grin on his face once Brian was out of sight.

Roger's eyes widened for a second but he got over the shock quickly and grinned back at John. "Noooo" he whispered with a devilish look. "Is it that obvious?" he asked with his voice reach it's lowest tone.

"Well, let's just say I'm really observant" John laughed.

"Fuck off Sherlock!" Roger laughed and climbed up the stairs again.

When John went to bed it was 03:00 am. Freddie hadn't returned home yet. He wanted to see him come back safe and speak to him but it was really late and he couldn't keep his eyes open. He decided to pack his suitcase tomorrow after Roger's and Brian's departure. His train would leave at 6:20 pm and he would be back next Tuesday.

He already missed Freddie. Freddie was always in his mind, always pinned there night and day, always next to John even if he was absent. He sighed deeply "where are you?" feeling the well-known pung of jealousy take over him. 'Maybe he's at Mary's' he thought. "At Mary's flat, at Mary's bed..." he sighed loudly again and tried to push this thought out of his mind.

But then something else came into his mind. "What about her?" he remembered Freddie saying earlier. "Why do you keep asking the same fucking question?" he had also said.

'He looked upset too, during Roger's questions..why did he react like that? He knows that Roger can be curious or even nosy at times and he used to be ok with that..'  John thought.

'Would it be possible for Freddie to have stopped being in love with her?' John smiled at his last thought. 'But then... if he isn't with her, where the hell is he?'

He was in his bed, trying to answer his own questions, turning from side to side under his covers until he fell asleep. He drifted away in a new world, a colorful and sunny one, where Freddie's voice and Freddie's laughter resonated across it and made him enjoy every minute of his stay there.

[arthurrweasley]

MAEVE MADAM ROSMERTA is AN ORDER MEMBER in the war, even though HER official job is as THE OWNER OF THE THREE BROOMSTICKS. the THIRTY FOUR year old PUREBLOOD is known to be WILD and CHARMING but also HARSH and VOLATILE. some might label them as THE SEA WITCH. fc: katheryn winnick 

The sea waves are my evening gown And the sun on my head is my crown You’ll always have a home in my kingdom

ANTHEMS.

QUEENDOM - AURORA // SEASIDE - THE KOOKS // BRIEF AND MOMENTARY - ALEXANDER DUBOVOY // HIGH BY THE BEACH - LANA DEL REY // FALLIN ALL IN YOU - SHAWN MENDES // SHE LOOKS LIKE FUN - ARCTIC MONKEYS // WHITE FLAG (STEVE REECE REMIX) - BISHOP BRIGGS // THE LESS I KNOW THE BETTER - TAME IMPALA.

pinterest board ( x ) full playlist ( x )

AESTHETICS / VIBES.

hair sticky with sea salt, sunkissed skin, the scent of honey and wine, good intentions, soft laughter, leaving people on read, dog eared pages in well read books, spontaneous road trips, broken promises, messy hair, the feeling of sand between your toes, lipstick stains on coffee mugs, a thirst for knowledge, always knowing what to say, classical music, vodka shots at the crack of dawn, seaweed tangled in soft braids, welcoming people with open arms, humming while cooking, rain against bare skin, falling asleep under the stars, taking no fucking bullshit, never completely settling down and always getting even.

BACK TO BASICS.

name: maeve alannah rosmerta. occupation: owner of the three broomsticks / barmaid. nicknames: honestly, most people don’t even know her first name? she’s known as madam rosmerta, or simply rose. the few people that do know her first name might call her mae. 

some people are also bound to think that her first name is rosmerta. personally, mae prefers to go by just her last name. it’s enough. she’s practical.

age: 34. date of birth: february 12, 1946. zodiac: aquarius. hometown: kinsale, ireland. current location: her boat or hogsmeade. has a small apartment above the three broomsticks. gender: cis female. pronouns: she/her. orientation: bisexual. spoken languages: english and gaelic fluently. has also picked up some other languages, but is not fluent in those ( spanish, french, danish, welsh ). gets by. moral alignment: neutral good / lawful good. element: water. house: ravenclaw.

BACKGROUND / FAMILY.

Mae was born in Kinsale, Ireland to two pureblood wizards. Her mother ( Cara Boyle ) was the owner of a small bookshop in the coastal town of Kinsale, and her father ( Dahey Rosmerta ) was a sailor. They had a romance that only lasted while Dahey was in town over the summers, and they never married. Yet, their relationship resulted in a daughter, born out of wedlock. Kind of a surprise for the both of them.

Grew up mostly with her father, and only spent the summers with her mum. When with her dad, she lived alongside him and his crew on his boat. During the summers, when stuck in Kinsale, she spent most of her time just being bored out of her damn mind. Kinda longed for the ocean, wanted to get back. Felt like a fish out of water.

Her mother later married a muggle man, and had two more children. Her father never settled down.

HOGWARTS YEARS.

Kind of a hat stall between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw? Ultimately landed in Ravenclaw though.

Was DEFINITIVELY that™ girl who would jump headfirst into the great lake, having absolutely no fear of the repercussions. Probably made friends with whatever lurks down there too.

It’s cold or frozen? Doesn’t care, will still swim. Gained a bit of a reputation as someone with nerves of steel because of it. 

Missed life on her father’s boat, but was also really excited to learn stuff? She’s naturally curious, and can’t resist a challenge. Worked incredibly hard while at the school, made some friends... Spent most of her time by the water, studying or reading a book. 

At some point, she broke into the Slytherin common rooms, because someone dared her that she couldn’t do it. Also she wanted to see the lake. Doesn’t take a lot to get her to do something.

Was a lot more mellow than her Ravenclaw peers. Didn’t care about what anyone else was doing, and never resorted to backstabbing. Kinda just went with the flow, did her best work, didn’t pay too much attention to what others were doing.

Did however get into trouble a lot, but never for hurting anyone else. Were usually instances of her ACCIDENTALLY finding herself in the forbidden forest at night, or taking a midnight swim, or maybe accidentally breaking into empty classrooms to practice magic when no one was around. Or maybe breaking into the restricted section at the library. Mae tried everything.

Could however sporadically flame up when she felt that it was necessary, which was mostly when someone younger needed to be defended. Mae has pretty strong maternal instincts and can be highly protective. Will fight u.

She played on the Quidditch Team as keeper, but quit after three years on the team because it was taking up too much time, and she would rather focus on her studies ( and swimming ).

Started her own Great Lake Club at the school, which consisted of students that were ‘fans’ of the lake, basically. Club meetings were basically just them either researching the lake, swimming in the lake if the weather permitted ( everyone’s not into winter swimming, apparently :/ ) or just hanging out by the water. Wasn’t the most serious of clubs, but they had fun.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AFTER HOGWARTS.

Mae graduated Hogwarts with top marks, and could probably have gone into any field she may have wanted, but she mostly just wanted to see the world. Wanderlust ingrained in her bones. Craving the sea.

So at the age of eighteen, she bought a shitty boat, and set off to see the world on her terms. 

She ended up doing some work in different taverns across Europe, picking up odd jobs as a barmaid whenever she was in a town. Always chatting up customers, laughing with patrons, cracking jokes and making sure that the night never ended.

After a few years at sea, she eventually started to settle down, but never quite committing to anything. Could never bring herself to completely rooting herself to land. If she’s stuck on dry land for too long, she feels like she’s gonna go mad.

Still, at the age of twenty four (1970), Mae used the inheritance from her parents to buy the Three Broomsticks, a decision which she mostly made on a whim. She had been working in odd bars for a few years now, and kinda wanted something to call her own? Start her own legacy. Have some place that she could call home. Somewhere to return to.

Boat was kept ( at this point, she had a nicer one ), and she still spends her off days there, and some nights as well. Sort of like an escape. Definitively shows up to the bar with seaweed stuck in her hair ( so has to shower in her apartment first tbh ).

One of the reasons why she loves having a place that she is now tied to ( aka Hogsmeade ) is that she has been able to acquire and actually keep more personal items. She has quite the impressive library in the inn’s attic, for one. Books were one of the things she could only keep a few of, when she was living out of her boat.

Disappears from the Inn for a few weeks every now and then, but makes sure that someone else is in charge while she is away.

When the war first started, she tried to stay neutral. Had just bought a bar, and didn’t wanna alienate customers. But as time went on and the horrors became worse, morals kicked in, and she joined the Order. Today, she’s a member on the down low, and her affiliation with them is not public knowledge. Most of her tasks within the Order is pure intell gathering ( or spying ), but she also spreads information and acts as a messenger when needed. She just... wants to feel like she’s doing SOMETHING.

Keeps most of what she hears under wraps, but will share anything of interest with the Order. Other than that, her lips are sealed.

Everyone is welcome at the pub, as long as they leave their bullshit at the door. She considers the pub a zone where sides shouldn’t matter ( yet she does... sometimes close the bar down so that the order can meet there if needed ). And is definitively brave enough to throw any death eater out on their ass if they fuck around. In her bar, she’s in charge. Can 100% confirm that Bellatrix has been kicked out a time or two. #nervesofsteel

AS A PERSON.

Loves telling stories and is very good at it too !!! Someone’s bored? Rosmerta will serve them a story of her travels.

KIDS LOVE HER !!! For varying reasons, depending on their age ( smh @ Ron ). But she’s great with kids.

Has a big, soft heart and is kinda known for taking in strays. A kid has been kicked out by their parents? Aight, you can stay at the inn for a while until we find you something more permanent / things calm down.

More of a cool aunt than a mom though?

LOVES COOKING AND BREWING MEAD. Is really good at it too. The menu of the inn has been designed by her, and though she doesn’t spend a lot of time in its kitchen, she does oversee everything that happens in there. The menu itself is pretty simple, Mae believes in quality over quantity. And good fucking mead.

Has a reputation of taking zero bullshit? People don’t get away with SHIT when she’s around. Will personally drag your ass onto the street if you stir up trouble in her bar. Or anywhere else tbh.

Her mannerisms are kinda harsh? She’s generally just little bit rough around the edges. Doesn’t shy away from telling people what she thinks either, but does it in a way so that she almost always gets away with it? The mead might be a contributor, but you know.

TEMPERAMENTAL AS FUCK. Has a good heart, but she’s not... the nicest person out there. Can be petty, overemotional, brooding, melodramatic and short tempered. Her moods are known to change with the weather, and depending on how long she has been away from the sea. Though she loves the pub, she gets a bit stir crazy when she’s there for too long. Usually she’s pretty warm though. 

So easily bored? Needs constant change to feel like herself, and to maintain some sort of happiness. That’s one of the things she likes with the bar, there’s always something new going on. 

Aaaaand she’s definitively wild. Was way worse when she was younger ( don’t ask me about Mae in her 20s, she was a mess ), but she can’t be tamed. Will always follow her next whim, so eager to see where it takes her next.

Has remained an optimist over the years, which has been hard to do? She really believes that everything will be okay, but she keeps this kind of on the down low.... for some reason....

Never stayed in one place long enough (when younger) to develop an accent, so it’s a bit all over the place. She has a noticeable Irish accent ( from her father ).

Is around alcohol all day, but doesn’t drink at work. Can drink anyone under the table though, and has a scary high tolerance for alcohol ( which she usually jokes stems from her upbringing as a sailor ).

Has a kind of odd sense of humor? Can be a bit dark at times. Usually laughs at her own dumb jokes.

Wants everyone to have a good time when at her pub, and is REALLY trying to be a good hostess at all times?

SO CURIOUS, but also very good at minding her own damn business. Mostly curious about people’s motivations and how things work so like. Doesn’t put her nose where it doesn’t belong. Usually. Also good at keeping secrets.

Always stands her ground and trying to sway her is basically like trying to move a mountain. Good luck with that.

She’s also a highly practical person? Doesn’t complicate things too much, doesn’t try to make anyone jump through hoops. Things just are the way that they are with her and she will usually give it to you straight ( aka no mind games, thank god ). Has zero patience or time for bullshit.

Working in a bar really fits her because she genuinely loves talking to people?

STYLE ( FASHION / APPEARANCE ).

Mae has ocean blue eyes and blonde hair that she usually wears down, or pulled back into a soft braid. Since she still spends a considerable amount of time on her boat, she always smells faintly of the ocean, and her hair is wavy from sea salt. Skin is freckled and sunkissed, and she usually looks a bit glowy.

Wears minimal makeup. Some smudged eyeliner and lipstick, but that’s it. Prefer softer colors when she does.

While at work, she dresses in low cut shirts and loose fitting pants.

Gravitates towards lighter colors and earthy tones. Wears a lot of white, grey, light blue, light brown....

Keeps her nails short.

CHARACTER INFLUENCES.

WILL TURNER - drawn to the ocean, so brave, will dumbly sacrifice themselves for someone they love, similar banter.

ELIAN (TKAK)- will never settle down, feels the most at home on a boat, the same crooked smile. can be harsh, when need be.

SARA LANCE - leadership abilities, witty quips, protective, stands up for the weak, good at putting people in their place. not afraid to throw people out.

CLARA OSWALD - wanderlust in their bones, good with children, a little bossy, very brave, always warm and welcoming, an unquenchable thirst for adventure. just the right amount of flirty.

ALEX PARRISH - good at reading people, bit of an idealist, heart of a hero, a gray world view ( sees the middle ground ).

SHELBY WYATT - the ambition, the curiosity, the charm. those big doe eyes.

BELLE (BATB) - so curious, so inventive, the wanderlust, the kindness.

MEREDITH GREY - the moodiness!!!!!! but also the compassion and the dedication. takes no mcfucking bullshit. 

ANGEL (BTVS) - the broodiness smh. both can be so... incredibly broody. also the enigma? doesn’t tell people her first name unless she absolutely has to / accidentally does so.

PHOEBE BUFFAY - bit eccentric, kinda free spirited, so kind, warm, very temperamental.

IZZIE STEVENS - sees the good in people. so protective, will fuck u up.

AUNT MAY - basically just everyone’s cool aunt. 

[imaginedeux]

Snow Fall

A/N: Alright so, Hi. I know it’s been a long ass time since i’ve done anything to this blog and I apologize, but I've just finished my second to last semester of University, and all my time has been going to my studies. But anyways, I was inspired to write this because, it snowed in my hometown a couple of weeks ago, and it hasn't snowed here in over 10 years. And idk i just wanted to write something with snow in it.

“Ni!” You, yelled seeing her best friend walk down the flight of stairs to the first floor of the airport! “It’s so nice to see you, it’s been so long.” You gushed taking him in for a hug.

“Its nice to see you too, Petal.” Niall smiled lifting you up, and spinning the two of you around. “Almost didn't make it, they wanted to delay the flight because there was ice on the run way. I thought it didn't get cold here.”

“It doesn't but a weird cold front is coming through today, but it’ll be gone in a couple of days. Now come on, my mom and dad are waiting for us at the restaurant, and my mom has to go into work in a couple of hours.” You explained grabbing one of Niall’s bags, before you dragged him to your car.

You, and Niall have known each other since before Niall was in One Direction, when you accidentally met on Bebo, you kept in touch as Niall’s fame rose, and you continued with your schooling. You, were only ever able to attend one One Direction concert, and it was the first time that the two of you met face to face. As cliche as it sounds, it was love at first sight for you, but you knew you didn't want to sacrifice the friendship the two of you had gained over the past couple of years and has kept those feelings to yourself. The two of you continued to keep in touch as One Direction started their hiatus, and you started on your second half of University, Niall started to visit you in your home town soon after the hiatus started. Your parents instantly took him in, they had met over face time a couple of times, and they trusted the pop star. It had been a while since he was able to visit because of the release of Flicker, and because of tour, but since the last concert was a couple of days ago, Niall had a couple of weeks of break, before he would go home to visit his family for the holidays.

“It was so nice to see you Niall, I’ll probably see you all in the morning.” Your, said bringing Niall in for a hug before she headed off to work.

“Nice to see you too, if you get too bored call (Y/N), so we can go and visit you like last time.” Niall joked as she shook her head.

“Now that we’re done with lunch, what do you plan on doing?” Your dad asked  tightening the scarf around his mouth, it had dropped a couple of degrees since they all got to the restaurant and it was starting to hail a little bit.

“I actually have my last final at 4:30, so I’m going to have to go to school to study for my final a little while more. So I don't know if you want to stay at home and chill, or come to school with me.”

“I’ll go to school with you, it’ll be fun to actually be at an American College.” Niall gushed in his best American accent, the biggest smile on his face. You shook your head, and bid your dad a bye and headed to school.

"Thats why Pop Art created a huge movement in the U.S., and started a new value system when it came to the creation of art.” You explained coming through the front door, take out hot in your hands, and Niall hot on your heels. “Dad, i’m home and with food!”

“I was about to order some food, but it looks like you read my mind. How was the drive, has the rain and ice been getting worse?” Your dad asked coming out of his room.

“It’s started to get lighter since we left the restaurant, lets hope it’ll stop by the time mom comes home. Now come on, lets eat before the food gets cold.” You said happily, taking off the tinfoil from some of the food containers. The meal was enjoyed because of how much Niall and your father talked, you looked between the two, with a smile on your face. Your dad never got this close to any of your ex-boyfriends, but Niall wasn't your boyfriend. You shook that thought out of your head seeing both Niall and you dad finish with their meal. “Hey, why don't y’all pick a movie to watch? While I clean up.”

“I’m actually heading to bed, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment early tomorrow. So goodnight, i’ll see y’all in the morning.” Your dad said giving you a hug as Niall gathered the empty take away boxes. “Make sure you use protection.” He laughed letting you go.

“Goodnight dad!” You groaned as he waved the two of you off, before going into his room. “Hey, I said I was going to clean. You’ve been through a lot today, I’ll meet you in the living room.”

“It’s no problem, besides, it still feels like I haven't talked to you today.” Niall said looking at you grabbing a couple more of the boxes. You smiled at him before you grabbed the last couple of boxes.

“Niall! Niall! Wake up!” You yelled trying to wake up your best friend from his deep slumber. “Niall please!” You pleaded one more time before you turned on the light to the guest room, where he was sleeping.

“What is it Petal?” Niall moaned, cracking open one eye to find that his best friend had left the room.

“It’s snowing! It’s fucking snowing!” You yelled pocking your head into the door way. “My mom just came from work and she woke me up to tell me it’s snowing!”

“Is it really now?” He asked sitting up from the bed, before he grabbed his phone from the night stand. “It’s almost midnight, did your mum work late again?”

“No, she was giving a friend a ride home, but thats not the point. Put on some warm clothes, and I’ll meet you outside!” You said excitedly trying to put on your Sk8-Hi Vans . Niall couldn't help but laugh at the sight of his best friend, you were wearing two sweaters, a beanie, some leggings with fleece on the inside, and two pairs of fluffy socks. Niall took his time getting ready, since he had just come in from London, so he was prepared for cold weather, and because snow wasn't a foreign concept to him.

“Oh, geez, its really chucking it down isn't it?” Niall asked opening the front door to your house, to find a good inch or two of snow covering the ground and the palm trees that your parents had in the front yard.

“Yeah, it was just ice earlier, but now it’s finally snow.” Your mom commented taking a sip of her coffee, clearly trying to defrost from the cold. “We haven't gotten snow since Christmas Eve 2003, so something like this is rare for us.” She explained looking back at her husband who was drinking his own coffee.

“Niall come on!” You yelled grabbing chunks of snow off your car trying to make a small snowman.

“Alright, alright.” He laughed walking over to you. “Geeze I haven't seen you this excited since your first One Direction concert.”

“I’ve never see it snow like this. Niall, this doesn't happen here!” You yelled into the night, the snow fall dancing around you. “Its absolutely beautiful.”

“Yeah it is, here’s some gloves. Put them on before you get frost bite or something.” Niall chuckled putting them on your cold hands. “You got lucky that I brought some extra, at least I know what to get your for Christmas now.”

“This is the first time that it’s snowed here in over 10 years, you don't need to buy me gloves Ni.” You smiled looking down at the warm gloves in your hands. “Now come on, help me build a snowman!”

“Alright, alright.” Niall laughed, while he wasn't the biggest fan of the cold, and much less the snow, he saw why you were enjoying it so much. The rosiness in your cheeks and on your nose made Niall smile, and cause his own cheeks to turn red. Seeing you this happy made butterflies erupt in his stomach, he’d seen you at your best, and your worst, this was on another level of best, and made him start to think. Would the butterflies still be there, if someone else was making you smile like this? No, he knew he wanted to be the one to make you smile from ear to ear. “What the hell?” Niall yelled feeling a snowball hit him in the side of the head, taking him out of his day dream.

“I’ve been calling you for a while now Ni, gotta pay attention!” You laughed, a mischievous smile on your face, and another snowball ready to throw in your hand.

“You better watch yourself there Petal, I have more experience in snow than you do.” Niall laughed, quickly making a snowball before throwing it at you. Missing, you quickly threw the snowball in hand and hid behind your car, grabbing more snow as you went.

“Snowball fight!” You screamed, not even throwing snowballs anymore, any amount of snow you got in your hands was enough for you. It didn't take long for you to realize that Niall was no longer in your front yard, you looked for his footprints but they had already been buried under another blanket of snow. “Niall?” You called looking for him.

“Got yah!” Niall yelled from behind you, before lifting you over his shoulder.

“Ni! Let me down!”

“Oh, you want to get down do you? Alright.” Niall laughed before he put you on the cold ground.

“Niall! Its cold!” You yelled laughing looking up at Niall who was standing over you. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight, the snow flakes in his hair twinkled like stars in the night sky. Smoke filled the air as he continued to laugh, his cheeks and nose turning a scarlet color because of the frost falling onto his cheeks.

“What you looking at there (Y/N)?” Niall asked helping you up from the ground. “Did you hit your head? I didn't mean to!”

“No, no no. I’m fine. Just trying to get over the fact that you tossed me onto the cold hard ground.” You said grabbing his hand, helping yourself up.

“Oh, trouble!” Niall sang holding onto you, making sure you didn't slip.

“Only you would make a Taylor Swift reference.” You laughed pushing him, not realizing he was putting all his weight on a slab of ice.

“Oh, shi-” Niall started before he fell back onto the snow covered ground, taking you with him. It took a minute until the two of you laughed at each other. 

“Oh and you have the advantage over me, but you were the one to fall over a little ice.” You laughed at Niall who was covering his face with his hands, laughing like a mad man.

“You're the one who pushed me Petal!” Niall said leaning on his elbows, not realizing you were still in the same place, now a couple of inches away from each other. Blushing, you leaned away, not wanting to do something that you would regret. What happened next caught you off guard. 

Niall leaned up, closing the gap between the two of you, kissing you gently. It took a couple of seconds before Niall leaned away, his face scarlet.

“I’m sorry! I’ve been wanting to do that in a long time, but I wasn't sure you wanted it too. I’m so so-” Niall started, before you leaned back down kissing him before he could say anything else.

“Who said that I didn't want to kiss you back there Ni?” You smiled looking down at your best friend, your cheeks scarlet at both of your confessions. “I’ve liked you for so long, its become second nature to love you now.”

“Same here Petal.” Niall grinned before he sat up, you still in his lap. “So would you like to be my girlfriend?” You nodded at his question, gaining another kiss from Niall. “Good, cause I told mum that I was bringing my girlfriend over for Christmas.”

“Wait, you were taking me to Ireland for Christmas...”

“I was going to ask you tomorrow after we went to go eat, but the snow fall helped me gain some courage.” Niall confessed, stroking your hot cheek. You shook your head before you wrapped your arms around Niall’s neck, bringing him in for another kiss.

[fraggle-batches]

Because these are fun

1:Full name: Not comfortable sharing that

2:Zodiac sign: Libra 

3:3 fears: ladders, loneliness

4:3 things I love: my cats and boyfriend and laptop and dogs

5:4 turn on’s: tattoos, good hair, smoking, choking, hickeys

6:4 turn off’s: trump supporters

7:My best friend: my boyfriend

8:Sexual orientation: pansexual

9:My best first date: went to a concert (styg, stray from the path, knocked loose), was soo much fun, and also my first concert with a s/o

10:How tall am I: 5′7

11:What do I miss: my nana, being confident in myself and those around me

12:What time was I born? like 5:30 am 

13:Favorite color? grey

14:Do I have a crush? on my boyfriend, and cole sprouse

15:Favorite quote? “

16:Favorite place? Algonquin park

17:Favorite food? Pizza

18:Do I use sarcasm? Never

19:What am I listening to right now? Flaked Season 2 on Netflix

20:First thing I notice in new person? Shoes, hair, actions

21:Shoe size? Women’s 9.5, Mens 8.5

22:Eye color? Shit brown :))

23:Hair color? Naturally: Brown, Currently: Blonde, Previously: Pink

24: Favorite style of clothing? Uhm idk like casual/skate/dude clothes

25:Ever done a prank call? When I was like 11, but i grew tf up

26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now? I’m not..

27:Meaning behind my URL? Lord of the Rings (on a comedy video)

28:Favorite movie? ^

29:Favorite song? 

30:Favorite band? Don’t know, either The Wonder Years, Pink Floyd, The Tragically Hip

31:How I feel right now? Kinda shitty

32:Someone I love. Aaron

33:My current relationship status. In a relationship, one year at the end of the month.

34:My relationship with my parents. Was pretty fucked up for a while, I got kicked out and shit but now we’re civil and they buy me stuff to suck up for the shit they put me through/

35:Favorite holiday. 

36:Tattoos and piercing I have. I have my nose pierced, three 18g holes p/ear and one 10mm hole p ear.

37:Tattoos and piercing I want. I want to get a second nose piercing, maybe a septum, and my 10mm holes are going up to 22mm as we speak, I also intend to get an assload of tattoos when I’m no longer broke.

38:The reason I joined Tumblr. Joined it when I was like 12.. so I don’t know, just because it was ANOTHER form of social media for me to have.

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other? I hate him because he’s a rapist piece of shit and I’m sure he doesn’t even think of me so.

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? No.

41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? Idek who the last person I texted was.

42:When did I last hold hands? Last night

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Depends what my hairs like, if it’s good, then 15 mins, if it’s shit then 35mins.

44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? Yeah

45: Where am I right now? On the couch at my boyfriends grandparents.

46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Maybe my boyfriend, maybe a nurse 

47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No

49:Am I excited for anything? I’m going to see Roger Waters in October and I’m moving in 1-3 months.

50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My boyfriend.

51:How often do I wear a fake smile? Often.

52:When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I think

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I’d fucking leave him and move alone and go back to fucking instead of dating (other people obv)

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Maybe

55:What is something I disliked about today? Got into a couple pissing matches with the boy.

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gord Downie

57:What do I think about most? The amount of debt I’m in

58:What’s my strangest talent? Licking my nose maybe?

59:Do I have any strange phobias? I don’t know..

60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind all the way

61:What was the last lie I told? “I don’t want anything to eat rn”

62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? NEITHER

63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts: no. Spirits: Yes. Aliens: no, Extra-terrestrial life on another planet potentially in a different solar system: Yes.

64:Do I believe in magic? No

65:Do I believe in luck? I don’t know

66:What’s the weather like right now? Shitty, cloudy, cold, and dark

67:What was the last book I’ve read? The Handbook of Human Sexuality

68:Do I like the smell of gasoline? Uhh yeah

69:Do I have any nicknames? -----

70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Probably when I fractured my skull as a kid. Or the two times I broke my clavicle in the SAME spot like 3 years apart lmao.

71:Do I spend money or save it? I’m a compulsive spender

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Yep

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? I don’t think so

74:Favorite animal? Elephant maybe

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Same thing as I’m doing now basically... fuck all

76:What do I think Satan’s last name is? He doesn’t have one/exist

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I believe by Stevie Wonder

78:How can you win my heart? Be a decent person and show the fucking world that I’m yours and you’re mine.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “fuck all you cunts from my hometown”

80:What is my favorite word? cunt

81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr? nah

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? “stop polluting, kill trump, learn how to give a girl good head, end world hunger, adopt dont shop, support everyone regardless, cherish each other”

83:Do I have any relatives in jail? I don’t think so, but maybe

84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? To be able to like pause life and be the only one who isn’t paused but I don’t age on pause so it’s chill. Or to turn off my bad emotions whenever I want

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? I don’t know, I;m pretty open

86:What is my current desktop picture? My dog 

87:Had sex? Daily

88:Bought condoms? Hate them, but yeah

89:Gotten pregnant? No

90:Failed a class? Yeah

91:Kissed a boy? Yeah

92:Kissed a girl? Yeah

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeah

94:Had job? Yeah

95:Left the house without my wallet? The worst!!

96:Bullied someone on the Internet? No... well maybe this one stupid piece of shit that raped my friend, posted her nude pics on a porn website and harasses her to this day. But I think that’s with warrant to bully so idc

97:Had sex in public? In a few places...

98:Played on a sports team? Other than school, no

99:Smoked weed? Daily

100:Did drugs? some

101:Smoked cigarettes? Yep

102:Drank alcohol? Yep

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Used to be 

104:Been overweight? Currently am

105:Been underweight? Yep

106:Been to a wedding? Yep

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Most of the time

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yep

109:Been outside my home country? Yep

110:Gotten my heart broken? Sort of

111:Been to a professional sports game? No

112:Broken a bone? Skull, elbow, clavicle x 2, wrist x3, most of my toes, both my thumbs, my left ring finger, my ankle, and foot.

113:Cut myself? Used to

114:Been to prom? Fuck prom

115:Been in airplane? Yep

 116: Fly by helicopter? No

117:What concerts have I been to? To name a few (not even close to 1/4 of them: The wonder Years x4, Moose Blood x2, Neck Deep, Real Friends x3, Modern Baseball x3, Knocked Loose, Stick to Your Guns, etc...

118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yep

119:Learned another language? Started to learn german, dropped it. Spoke some french but I’m rusty.

120:Wore make up? Most days

121:Lost my virginity before I was 18? Way before I was 18

122:Had oral sex? Yeah

123:Dyed my hair? Every few months for the last like 4-5 years

124:Voted in a presidential election? Not yet.. 2019 here I come

125:Rode in an ambulance? No

126:Had a surgery? Small one

127:Met someone famous? A few people.. Dan Campbell from the Wonder Years being one of them

128:Stalked someone on a social network? In an innocent-ish “what the fuck is my boyfriend doing liking your slutty pics” stalking

129:Peed outside? Yep

130:Been fishing? Yep

131:Helped with charity? Yep

132:Been rejected by a crush? No

133:Broken a mirror? Yep

134:What do I want for birthday? A camera

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 2-3. Nora, Avalyn, and idk maybe Declan, Jax, Quinn?

136:Was I named after anyone? No

137:Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

138:What was my favorite toy as a child? Pogs, Pokemon Cards, Idk I mostly read books

139:Favorite TV Show? Shameless is lit

140:Where do I want to live when older? I don;t know yet, used to be Alaska but the US is fucked rn

141:Play any musical instrument? A little piano, tried guitar

142:One of my scars, how did I get it? one on my hand is shaped like a dick.. i stuck my hand in a fire to get a cigarette that dropped when i was drunk and burned the fuck outta my hand, when it scarred the center got prominent, and dick shaped

143:Favorite pizza topping? Bacon

144:Am I afraid of the dark? No

145:Am I afraid of heights? A little

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yeah, I’ve been caught sneaking out and smoking pot and getting drunk when I was supposedly studying or having a quiet movie night in

147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? All the time

148:What I’m really bad at. Life, keeping my temper in check

149:What my greatest achievements are. I graduated high school, and got into college and university

150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. “fat homewrecking bitch”.. but it wasn’t the truth

151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Pay off my debt and adopt a load of animals in need

152:What do I like about myself? I got some nice eyelashes, and a nice rack

153:My closest Tumblr friend. ------

154:Something I fantasies about. Cole Sprouse 

155:Any question you’d like -------