#i miss the freedom and privacy i used to have in the dorms. i could go anywhere do anything i wanted anytime etc.....

[red-eft]

i need to get an apartment (<- said with the same fevered nervousness and desperation of a caged dog)

[noonaishere]

Music of the Heart [J.YH] - sixty-six | principles

You walked into the building, coffee in hand and walked over to the elevators. For some reason, you had never really registered the list of principles Wonderland had emblazoned on the wall in the lobby, probably because you were much too dazzled with all the albums and awards to really register it. In reality, it was hard to miss, and you had read it had been there since the company’s inception; a reminder of what made Wonderland different from other companies, their ‘humanistic theory’ if you will. 

Wonderland’s Principles:

Wonderland puts people first

Wonderland respects positive aspects of employees, and their freedom and dignity

Let kindness, genuineness, and compassion be how you interact with each other

You looked at it for a moment. You wondered if any other company was known for such a thing. Sure, some had organic food in the cafeteria, but that didn’t stop them from forcing their idols to starve themselves before comebacks. And sure, some said they valued their talent, but had cafés where fans could go in the hopes that an idol might show up for them to gawk at. Though Wonderland’s lobby had floor to ceiling glass, the shutters allowed light in but made it impossible for outsiders to see into. And they were so well known for pressing charges against sasaengs that there wasn’t a single one camped outside like there were with some other companies. You had even heard that they bought the building their idols’ dorms were in, so they could ensure they had high security, and spaces where they could hang out together away from prying eyes. You thought it was sad that a company had to go to such lengths to make sure their workers could have privacy, but you were glad they took the extra steps; it must be hard for idols and actors at other companies to give one hundred percent of their effort to their work when they also have to deal with such things, on top of the company stealing their wages without them knowing. Money was another thing Wonderland was also very transparent about, going as far as to have the yearly wages for each position at the company on their website for all to see. And with some companies being shady about payment to their own workers, it had caused ripples in the industry with more than one idol leaving their company for Wonderland once their contract was up. Where other companies might use shady means to poach talent from each other, Wonderland didn’t even have to, people just came to them.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Maddox walk past you to the elevators, he probably couldn’t see you because of his extremely dark shield-style sunglasses that covered almost half his face. It was cloudy out.

You joined him by the elevators.

“Hey Maddox.”

He turned. His lip curled for a moment; pain from the movement of turning too fast. “Oh, hey.”

“Hungover?” You smiled.

“Not as bad as I thought I’d be, I’m not sure why.”

“Maybe it was the water.”

He touched his cheek. “Maybe you’re right.”

You chuckled to yourself.

The elevator arrived, you both got in, and when you got to your floor he set off down the hall, not in the direction of the studio.

“Where are you going?”

“To say hi to everyone?”

“Huh?”

“I go around and say hi to everyone in their studios before I go into ours.”

“Oh… I didn’t know that.”

“Have you met the other producers yet?”

You shook your head. “Just you guys.”

“Come with me.”

Maddox knocked and opened the door of whoever was in. The two of you went around greeting everyone, some of them asking you about yourself. You got a little bashful as Maddox talked you up as the new ‘genius producer’ Hongjoong had decided to take under his wing, feeling like a five-year old who had to stand there while their parents told their friends about how well they were doing in school or at dance class or music lessons. 

This wasn’t something you had ever experienced personally, with your mom being the way she was; you stood there while she talked you down to all of her friends, but you had seen other kids being talked up by their parents to their friends, so, you knew it was a thing that happened. 

“I’ll send you the link. You should really check out her mashups, they’re incredible.” Maddox beamed as he patted you on the shoulder.

“Well, I hope you become as great as Hongjoong thinks you can be,” producer Igarashi smiled.

“I’m certainly going to try,” you smiled back shyly.

She smiled again. “Cute. I’ll see you later, Maddox, I’m a bit busy.”

He nodded. “No problem, sunbae.” And closed the door.

When you were far enough away from the door you hopped, too excited to hold in your emotions.

“That was Igarashi Umeko! Are you serious?! Why didn’t you tell me I’d meet her?” You yelled at a whisper while you hit him excitedly.

He smiled as he tried to guard from your attack of happiness. “Did you want to meet her?”

“Well, since she’s not in our little group, I didn’t think I ever would. She did some of my favorite work with the girl group KnightMare… UGH, her visual-kei inspired stuff is so cool.”

Maddox smiled.

Once you got to the studio, you, Maddox and Hongjoong got to work setting up for recording. Hongjoong turned to you, startling you. 

“What?”

“‘Music daddy’?”

You stared at him for a moment before remembering what you had said the night before and laughed loudly. “Sorry. I was tired.”

He smiled.

“Don’t laugh so loud, please,” Maddox whined.

“Sorry.” You and Hongjoong went back to setting up. “...Music papa.”

The two of you laughed softly and finished setting up.

Jongho, Satbyeol, and Yunho showed up-- without their managers. It was something you had thought about, back when Doyun started his recording by showing up late, but you had an idea that Hongjoong only asked for their managers to be there with them in case something went wrong. Not only would there be more witnesses to whatever it was, but as the managers should be managing their talent, it was like having a child at school with their parents with them.

When you and the group had left for the barbecue place yesterday, you thought you heard some people in the hall saying that they thought they heard that Doyun’s manager had left him. You wondered if asking about it would make you nosey, probably, but you also wondered if he left from a sense of failure, or a sense of wanting to distance himself from the sex pest. If Doyun was being fired and having charges pressed against him, they’d have to press them against his manager as well, right? He’d have to be culpable to some degree; he spent the most time with Doyun, so he’d have to be an accomplice to at least some of his horrible deeds. You wondered how it would play out during the court case.

But that was something to save for the future, you were sure that the affected staff and their lawyers at Wonderland were all busy getting all of that ready. So far, so many people - not just at Wonderland - had come forward, that it really was beginning to look like a class action lawsuit; but instead of a bunch of people suing a company, they were all suing one guy. There had also been a few official emails from the CEO about the new company policies they were going to institute in order to make it easier for people to report bad behavior like Doyun’s, but to also get people to not feel so afraid of reporting such things. The fear Doyun had struck into all the newer staff had been palpable, and so there were supposed to be new, yearly meetings where the rules and regulations - and what the staff were owed by the company in terms of respect - were going to be reviewed so new staff knew what protections they had, and older staff were reminded in case they had forgotten. The emails also assured the staff that no one would be fired for coming forward with allegations, which sort of cemented in your mind that that might have been the reason none of them came forward about Doyun.

What a fucking mess. At least Wonderland was doing something about it and not trying to hide it like some other companies might have.

“T/n?” 

“Huh?” You responded.

Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at you for a second. “You okay? You were really zoned out just then.”

You looked up from your reverie to find everyone looking at you. Yunho seemed the most concerned, though he was trying to hide it. He wasn’t doing a very good job.

“Yeah, I’m good. I was just thinking about stuff.”

“Anything good?” Jongho asked.

“Wondering if I should switch from Windows to Linux.”

“What?”

“What?” You feigned ignorance.

Yunho suppressed a small laugh.

“Let’s start recording, if everyone’s ready,” Hongjoong said.

A few hours later, each other the three had been in and out of the recording booth, recording, re-recording takes they didn’t like, listening to the songs as a group, and discussing with you and the rest of Crom3r what their characters were expressing at that moment. The difference between the sessions with Doyun and without Doyun were like night and day. 

“Okay, let’s break for a bit. Is a half hour good? You can get some food, walk around a bit?” Hongjoong asked.

Everyone agreed. Yunho, Jongho, and Satbyeol left the room, while you, Hongjoong, and Maddox cleaned up some of the lyric sheets and other things you didn’t need anymore.

“It’s so much nicer without Doyun,” Maddox said.

You laughed. “I was just wondering if this was what a normal recording session was like.”

“Ohh yeah,” Hongjoong nodded. “Jongho’s session before he was cast in the show, and this: these are what recording sessions are normally like.”

You nodded.

“Did you hear his manager left?” Maddox asked.

“I thought I heard someone say that. Did he leave him or the company?”

“Both. Well-- he left working for Doyun, but when one of the victims said that he was there when Doyun propositioned her and then left the room, leaving them alone, he was fired.”

“Holy shit.”

“I think Wonderland might be thinking about suing him for endangering the staff with his actions.”

“I don’t think we should talk about this like it’s gossip,” Hongjoong said. “The situation could change day by day, and the court case hasn’t even started yet.”

“Come on, Joong, you’re not curious?”

“I am, but I think it makes more sense to wait until things are settled.”

You and Maddox nodded. You sat in silence for a few moments until Maddox said:

“I wonder if he’ll try to counter-sue anyone.”

Hongjoong sighed. 

You chuckled. “Maddox, you’re making our captain sad.”

Hongjoong sighed louder.

You laughed and stood. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

You went to the bathroom and then took a walk around the floor. Instead of corporate art, there were pictures of idols from music show appearances and concerts on the walls. Really nice ones too: interesting angles, the colored lights making the backgrounds super dynamic, some of the idols were mid-dance or mid-jump. They all looked really cool.

“Uh--” You heard.

You looked away from the pictures to see who it was.

Yunho.

Of course.

“Uh-- sorry.” He averted his eyes to the floor and walked past you.

You sighed and turned. “Hey.”

He stopped, seeming to wonder if it was him you were talking to.

You walked up behind him and he turned to face you, fearful, almost.

“We keep running into each other a lot, huh?”

He nodded nervously.

“Why do you look so fucking scared? I’m not going to yell at you or something.”

He relaxed a little.

You sighed. “Listen, since we need to see so much of each other now, I could maybe see my way to not being so horrible to you.”

“I didn’t think you were.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“I mean… I kind of deserved it.”

You shrugged in agreement. “Regardless, I have to help you and we have to interact while we work on the album, so we need to make nice. For the album recording at least.”

He nodded slowly. “I’ll… keep my questions and stuff to the recording.”

You nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine. But if we end up at another group barbecue, you can talk to me then, too.”

His brows ticked up in shock.

“I don’t want to make an awkward atmosphere for everyone else.”

“Oh! Yeah. That makes sense.”

The two of you stood awkwardly for a few minutes.

“Um…” he trailed off.

You looked at him.

“Do you still play bass?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded.

“Why?”

“Oh, um… I was wondering if we’d see you play at all. During the recording.”

“Probably not. It’s not like we’re recording a live band.”

“Oh-- yeah. That’d be silly.”

You raised an eyebrow at him as he looked around for a second. Both of you went to speak at the same time.

“We should get back to the studio--”

“Could I maybe have your number?”

You both paused, and stared at each other with wide eyes.

You asked: “What?”

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[boardingschoolforgirls1970s]

Crying

When people ask me about going to Boarding School, especially if they are considering it for their children I say don't do it. Obviously, this is based on my experiences from 1970s which by today's standards were harsh, with no thought for our mental welfare, or emotional needs. It seemed to me that apart from education, you got provided with a bed, uniform and food (but not that much). There was no TV allowed in the week, and only three channels available to us at weekends. TV ended at midnight, with the national anthem! Medical attention was minimal unless you were nearly dead! It made me tough but rather remote from my sisters for ever after. One enduring memory was of crying in the toilet from being home sick. I missed my bedroom at home, mum's cooking, having a long bath, the freedom from rules and the privacy and to do as I liked. With mum at work, my sisters away at university and dad away on business, I had peace and quiet. I could even try on my sister's clothes if I wanted, and those forbidden clothes for my age, such as stockings and suspenders or sister's naughty knickers that were firbidden at school. Sister's leather mini and knee length boots were a great favourite but couldn't go out in them, as the neighbours would surely blab, accidentally on purpose, as in "I saw your Alice go out in her leather mini and boots and I thought she looked very grown up" Intentionally dropping me in it, with mother, the nosey old bag!

In the first few years of being dropped off at BS and seeing parents leave was the worst for being homesick, so it sent me crying to the toilet. Occasionally a Prefect, since hardened to BS life, would threaten to spank or slipper me if I did not come out, which only made my condition worse.

We still cried if we were homesick in our mid teens, but for much less time, and also cried again in the toilets if we were caned, firstly as the welts hurt, we had no where else to go, also cried out of shame and because we could have done with a hug from mum, or some soothing treatment to our bottom from her (not that we ever admitted to her we had been spanked or caned).

Caning was rather brutal from an emotional perspective, as you might be left to suffer before bedtime. Medical aid was not permitted for those who had been caned, as the misery and discomfort was part of the punishment. Strangely, in later years, as prefects we still giggled and smerked, if a 1st year had been caned and was clearly in some distress, as seniors had been to us, years ago when we joined. We enjoyed the mental torture, even threatening a spanking if the Junior did not do something we requested, just to see the horror on their little faces, already soaked with tears. We were nasty, just as seniors and prefects had been to us.

We might have the 1st year in the dorm, and look at the welts on her bottom from a severe caning, and tell her she got off lightly (when she hadn't) or threaten to spank her again (but didn't). I guess there were some who fancied spanking the girl, who had just been caned, just for the power it gave them, and making that young girl's day really wretched.

Never show any weekness at BS, so if the 1st year girl had cried for her mummy, any punishment we might give would be worse, than if she had just said Ok I don't mind, I can take it. We loved the ridicule and the girl crying her eyes out in anticipation of what we might do, which was the aim.

Overall I still think of Boarding School as equivalent to prison for school children. We were horrid sometimes and I beg forgiveness for what we did, though I think I wasn't the worst.

Below; Crying in front of others brought you more grief.

Below; Note how other girls smile while you are in distress!

It didn't matter if you were crying because you Grandpa had died, crying was a sign of weakness so had to be made fun of, or you hid.

And that 1st spanking or caning in your first term of your 1st year was, especially horrific, not only from the pain you may not have experienced before, but for being proded, inspected and teased, except by your very closest girlfriends, who might offer a shred of compassion.

Having your bottom spanked, not only was shockingly painful after ages of not being spanked (or years in my case) but because it was so embarrassing and shameful). It was only later that you realised everyone got the same, at some time.

Often the floods of tears came after the event. Your bottom was still sore but you cried out of shock at what just happened to you, pity and shame, and perhaps added to the shame was the indignity of having your knickers and private area on show!

[alice-angel12x]

Part.2

It's been a few months after meeting the boy Yuu, who quickly became the dorm leader of Ramshackle. And for seem reason, he and Grimm would always find themselves facing some sort of trouble. The first day he and Grim became students they got caught up in a whole mess with the Heartsubyul Dorm. He even had to face an overblot boss. Then not too long after that he got caught up with the Savanaclaw Drom course head Master Crowley could or wouldn't solve the cause himself. And again Yuu and Grimm faced another overblot. So I can't help but wonder what trouble Yuu and Grimm would end up in.

Finals were just around the corner and I have been studying my tail off, yet I notice a lot of students have been going into the Octavinelle dorm mirror. According to a classmate of mine, people were going there to get amazing notes for the upcoming tests, at price thou. I could smell trouble so I avoided that Dorm, plus I hear many scary drummers about the dorm head and his Vice help. They trick people to make contracts that will most likely end in their favor, and the unlucky victim is forced to comply with whatever price they promised. So I try to stay away as far from that stuff as possible, yet that sounded so familiar for some reason.

But I'm not going to change anything by looking for trouble, Yet Yuu and Grimm are just a magnet for trouble. After the finals scores were posted a weird anemone appeared on Grimm's head.

"Yuu, what is happening to Grimm?!" I asked in shock as I watched Grimm being pulled away by his anemone.

"I don't know, but I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Let's go, Jack," Yuu and Jack quickly ran after their friends.

"STAY SAFE!" I called out to them.

-------

I can't believe that I made a deal with Azul, now Ramshackle dorm and my freedom is on the line. And the fact Jade and Floyd are following us all the way back isn't making me feel any better. And to top it all off they kicked us out of the dorm, and I only had so much time to gather everything, Y/n's going to be so mad when she gets back.

"Yuu, Grimm what are you doing with all our luggage?" Y/n asked as she came up to us with all her homework.

"We made a deal to free all the students. We need to get a specific photo if we want to free them and also not lose the dorm," Grimm said.

"WHAT!" Y/n gasped.

"We were just kicked out, we are not allowed to go back in,sooo," I said as I played with my thumbs.

"So I can't get my clothes?" Y/n asked.

"No, I got what I could before they kicked us out. But don't worry we will win back the Dorm I promise," I promised her.

--

We managed to get Leona to let us stay in the Savanaclaw Dorm for the next three days. But the first attempt was thwarted by the twins who got in our way to get the photo. So that night Y/n came up to me.

"Yuu, what photo did they ask you to get?" Y/n asked.

"A photo near the back of the Atlantis Museum," I explained.

"The Atlantis museum, near the back? What do they want with my elementary class photo?" Y/n asked with a confused look.

Wait Her class photo, what does Azul want from a class photo.

"Y/n I... I need your help,"

-------

'What could these people possibly want with my class photo?' I wondered as I managed to swim away with the museum photo.

'Yuu said there would be people who would try to stop me, but I haven't come across anyone. Well except for the guards by they were kind,' I wondered.

I sighed as I swam through the beautiful blue ocean I grew up in. I didn't know how to feel coming back here after giving on land for so long. Only to come back here to steal something.

---

(back at the Savanaclaw)

"Did you get the photo?" Yuu asked as he ran up to me.

"Yep, here it is," I said as I handed him the photo.

"So this is it? So where are you in this photo?" Yuu asked.

" I'm in the back in the corner with little Azul," I smiled as I pointed to the two children in the back of the class.

"That's you and Azul?!" Grimm asked in shock.

"Yep, we were good friends. He was so cute and squishy♥," I cooed as I looked at the chubby round Octo-mer.

"We need this to free Grimm and the other student's soo. Can we please have it?" Yuu asked me.

"Alright, if it will help others," I sighed as I handed them the photo, " Just be careful, I hear these people are not the most trustworthy,"

"I will, and don't worry I have a plan in cause they don't keep their word," Yuu smiled with confidence.

-------

"Man this place is just covered in webs," Floyd whined as he sweeps the walls of the Ramshackle Dorm.

"Well Azul said to get this pace ready for business as soon as possible," Jade said as he opened a nearby room.

As he looked around the already clean room, something caught his eye. On the nightstand was Ocean shells and trinkets, and On the bed was a Cap. Not just any cap, but a large jellyfishcap that looked strangely familiar. Jade picked it up and the "ribbon" that dangled from it gave him a quick shock. Jade whined and dropped the Jellyfish on the bed.

"Nee, Jade what's wrong?" Floyd asked as his eyes landed on the jellyfish on the bed, " Hey, doesn't this belong to our dear friend?"

"It looks like the same one yes," Jade said as he carefully picked it up.

"Let's turn this into Azul," Floyd smiled as he grabbed the jellyfish.

-----

" You found this in the Ramshackle Dorm? Did you see any other resident in the Dorm before you kick Yuu and Grimm out?" Azul asked as he held the jellyfish.

Azul recognized this Cap right away, he knew this was his dear friends.

"No, Though Yuu did bring out an extra suitcase on his way out. So the other resident must have been out by the time we arrived," Jade explained.

"How can this be, Y/n would have drowned on land. There is no way for her to survive," Azul said in disbelief as he stared at the cap.

------- 

(After the Blot battle)

"Here's the photo we promised, though now it's kind of pointless cause all the contracts are dust know," Yuu said he showed Azul the Photo, " But what I don't understand is why you wanted your and Y/n's elementary class photo?"

"Y/n, How do you know that name, and how did you know this was even my photo?" Azul asked as he quickly sat up.

"It's cause she told us," Grimm spoke up.

"She told you?" Jade asked.

"She's our dorm mate at Ramshackle," Yuu explained, " She said was a friend of yours,"

"She's in school?! Where is she?!" Azul asked as he got to his feet.

"Well bring her to the museum tomorrow with us when you return the Photo, I promise. Right now you need to rest," Yuu said as he helped Azul sit down.

-----------

At the museum, Azul passed back and forth as he muttered nervesly to himself.

"Azul!?" called out a familiar voice.

Azul paused as he slowly turned towards the voice. There she was with her beautiful smile and all. Azul could feel his heart flutter in his chest as ink tears started to spill from his tear ducts. Y/n sighed in relief as she swam over to her crybaby of a friend that she loves so much. She smiled warmly as she wiped away his tears as Azul pulled her close. He hugged her tightly, fearing that this was all just a dream.

"You've changed so much Azul," Y/n chucked as she leaned into his hug.

"I can't believe your here, your alive and safe," Azul hiccuped, " I missed you so much,"

"I missed you too," Y/n smiled as Azul rested his chin on top of her head, " I'm sorry I couldn't return sooner. I was taken so far away I didn't know how to return home,"

"I'm just glad you alive and oaky, and this time I'm not letting you get stolen from me again," Azul mumbled as his lips grazed Y/n's cheek.

Y/n's cheeks reddened slightly as she kissed Azul's cheek. Yuu watched from afar with a calm smile on his face, when he suddenly felt two pairs of eyes staring down at him.

"Nee, What are you staring at Shrimp chan?" Floyd whispered in Yuu's ear.

"Wha- I-I," Yuu stuttered.

"Why don't we give those two some privacy," Jade smiled as he dragged Yuu away.

----------

[papergirllife]

Chasing The Flames

Chapter 8 : The Pull of The Heartstrings

Jeno opened the door of his dorm to hear all the boys gathered around the living room, hollering like they won the lotto.

" What's with you guys? "

" We're happy for you, hyung. "

" For what, Chenle? "

" You just came back from the photoshoot with Y/N. There should be some progress. " Renjun questioned with curious eyes.

" Not telling. "

" Yah, stop being so secretive to us. "

" I'm respecting Y/N's privacy Haechan, something you would never do for us. "

But Jeno couldn't help but smile at the events that taken place today as he retreated back into his room.

As he finished showered, Renjun came in the room with a smirk on his face.

" You and Jaemin should be grateful to me. I invited Y/N to have a cook off with Chenle and I on Friday night. "

" She agreed to come? "

" Yup. You guys get to spend more time with her as long as the both of you help out for dinner, this is a win-win situation."

" Thanks man. "

" You guys better be serious about Y/N. She's a nice girl. "

" Yes, boss. "

" I'm actually surprised you're so into her. I thought Jaemin was the one that wanted to bring her into the relationship. "

" I was actually jealous of her at first, because of the attention she was receiving from Jaemin. But then after I spent some time with her that day, I realised that she's really a special one. "

" I don't know much about polyamorous relationships, but I'll still support the decisions that the both of you make. "

" Thanks, Renjun. "

Jaemin ordered a pizza for the both of them to share as Jeno got back later than their dinner time.

They were watching a movie on TV, the others being focused on the plot, but Jeno being lost in his thoughts.

" Is something wrong? " Jaemin whispered.

" No. I was just thinking about what happened today. "

Jaemin snuggled up to Jeno, while taking a huge bite into the pizza, making Jeno coo at him.

" Is there something about Y/N's that's bothering you? "

" No. I enjoyed every moment with her. "

" Then why do you look sad? "

" I'm just confused with my own feelings. How can we love each other but still potentially love another person ?"

" Maybe it's because we never dated any girls before. So we crave for one in our life. "

" But we've never shown interest in other girls. Why Y/N? Why did you like Y/N among all female friends and colleagues we know? "

" I don't know. My first impression of her was that she was a diligent assistant of Mr Kang. Then when we started talking to her, I was hooked on by her shy demeanor. Then I realised that she had a great personality, she's friendly and quirky and so easy to be around. She doesn't treat us like idols, she sees us as human beings. Whenever I'm with her, I feel a sense of freedom or escape."

Jeno nodded at what Jaemin said, connecting the way Jaemin described Y/N to recent events.

" After Y/N, we won't be adding new members into the relationship, right? "

This made Jaemin laugh and nearly choke on his piece of pizza.

" Jeno ah, let's just focus on getting one girl at a time. Plus, if Y/N accepts us, I don't think she'll accept another female in the relationship. Just because we're bisexuals, doesn't mean she is. "

" I'm just checking, because I definitely won't have time for three people. "

" Good to know that my Jeno is a loyal man."

" Chenle, how many times have I told you to get that thing out of the way? "

" What do you mean that thing? It's my sole physical entertainment other than video games. "

Jeno was being stressed about Y/ N coming over for dinner.

On the other hand, Jaemin was busy cleaning the kitchen from the mess Jisung had made from his midnight snack.

Jaemin although didn't show his nervousness as Jeno is, still feels the stress of the expectations he wishes to make for Y/N.

Although all the guys think that Y/N's quite smitten with the both of them after hours debate of what they had experienced from both their alone time with Y/N, Jaemin still wants to take things slowly and start off as good friends.

Y/N seems raw towards the feelings that they think she's feeling for them, so Jaemin and Jeno have decided to make only minor advances and let her sort out her feelings, if she does have feelings for them.

' I hope she does. ' Jaemin thoughts to himself.

Jaemin looked towards Jeno's direction and saw that Jeno's disassembling Chenle's indoor basketball court, dumping it back into its box.

After finishing up with the kitchen, Jaemin checks the fridge a second time to make sure that they had stocked up on groceries for tonight.

Jaemin was about to clear away the take out on the dining table when Renjun stopped him.

" I'll do it. Go take a shower and get dressed."

" Thanks. "

When Jaemin got out of the bath, Renjun pushed Jeno to wash up.

" Shouldn't I shower after cooking dinner? "

" You have to smell and look clean for

Y/N, you can just take another one layer in the night. "

" Any clothing advice, Injunie? "

" She thinks you look cute in pink. "

" You're the best. I can kiss you right now. "

" Save that for Jeno and Y/N, or I'll kick your butt. "

" How do you get so much information out of her? "

" Because we text often. "

" Oh. "

" Why? Are you jealous? "

" I'm just surprised. "

" She's from my home country, she says I remind her of home. "

" That's nice of you. "

" She doesn't have many friends, she reminded me of the time when I first got here. "

" I'll go check the whole place again. "

" Don't be so nervous. "

" I'll try. "

When I got there, Jaemin was waiting for me outside the dorms.

" You didn't have to wait outside for me, it's cold, you would've gotten sick if I wasn't early. "

" I know you're punctual. Plus, it'll be embarrassing if you went to the 127 and WayV's blocks. "

" God, I can't imagine. "

" Why did you bring groceries? "

" Just in case you guys don't have any. "

" Of course we do, we just bought today. I'll help you take those. "

When Jaemin grabs the bags from my hands, I could feel electric shocks up my fingertips, making my cheeks warm in the cold air.

" Thank you. "

When Jaemin opened the door, the first one to greet you was Donghyuck.

" Long time no see, Y/N. Hope you didn't miss me too much, 127 needs me. "

" There's not a day that goes by I don't hear bullshit coming from his mouth. "

" I thought you'd be used to it by now. "

" Yeah, but I thought he would've behaved more with guest around. "

" What are you saying? Y/N isn't a guest, she's like family. Right Y/N? "

" Whatever you say, Hyuck. It's good to see you. "

" Nice place you guys got here, I like the kitchen too. It's bigger than the one I have. "

" You can always move in, Y/N. "

" Yeah right, Lee Soo Man would be on my ass. "

" Chenle! You look so cute with those cat ears. "

" Don't mind them, I lost a bet to Jisung. Come check out this gun I won in pubg."

Jeno walked out of his room when he heard the commotion going on outside, beckoning Renjun to follow.

" Y/N, you're here. Then let's get this started."

We gathered at the kitchen to get ready for the mini cook off.

" Okay, who wants to be in my team? " Renjun looked at everyone expectantly, but had a shock when he realised no one wanted to be on his team.

" I'm picking Chenle and Hyuck. Y/N, you can take Jeno and Jaemin. "

" Hyung, that's not fair. Both your teammates cook often. But Jeno doesn't cook at all, Y/N noona's team is having the losing end. "

" Jisung you are the judge, so go to your room and play games while we cook, no peeking. "

Renjun was giving Jisung the stink eye while everyone of us laughed at their interaction.

" Okay, so what are we cooking? "

" I was planning on cooking sweet and sour pork cutlets and salty egg minced meat steam egg. Sounds good?"

Jeno and Jaemin nodded enthusiastically, hurrying to gather the ingredients as I listed them down.

" Wait, what's salted egg? I don't think we have that in the fridge. "

" Don't worry, Jeno. I bought them at the wet market today, it's in the bag. "

" Got it. "

I made the batter for the cutlets as they break the eggs into a bowl with the minced meat.

" Jaemin, stir this batter. I'll handle the egg. "

I broke two salted eggs and cut the pieces of the yolk into tinier pieces and put them into the bowl of egg, stirring it to space out the ingredients.

When it was ready, I began to steam the egg at the stove.

" Remember Y/N. One stove per team. "

Renjun was looking at me with a smug look on his face as he oversees the two of his friends cooking.

" I see you're making Korean food. "

" And you're making Chinese food. What a way to win Jisung's stomach, but I'm confident he'll love my cooking, he always did. "

" That's because he never ate my cooking before. "

" Oh it's on Y/N. "

The both both of us went back to our respective sides.

Cooking with Jaemin and Jeno was fun, the way Jaemin laughed at Jeno for trying to get the pork to stick to the batter.

I stepped away from my teammates to take a photo of both of them frying the cutlets.

' They suite the domestic theme that's going on here. '

Wait, what am I thinking? God, I need to focus on making the sauce or I'll lose to Renjun.

When we were done, Renjun was arguing about something with Hyuck. While Chenle was coping on cooking alone.

It was one of the funniest sights ever.

Jaemin, being the observant person he was, realised that we haven't cooked the rice.

" Need help? "

" It's just rice, I can handle myself. Go rest on the sofa with Jeno, be with you guys in a bit. "

When I got to the sofa, Jeno had took off his apron to reveal a tight fitting white t shirt.

His muscular built was evident under the thin layer of cotton, I never realised Jeno had such a good built, it was truly a sight to behold.

" I really like your new glasses. "

I had to bring up a topic to distract from Jeno, he's Jaemin's boyfriend for fuck's sake.

" Thanks. You look nice too. "

" It's just a sweater, nothing nice about it to me. "

" The mint colour, it matches well with your hair colour. "

" Thank you. "

I looked away from his gaze, scared that my cheeks were as red as I feared.

" Y/N? "

I looked back at Jeno to see that he was holding a box of chocolates.

" This is for you. As a thank you for cooking dinner. "

" Thank you, I didn't know I'll be receiving any gifts from anyone in Korea. Thank you so much. "

Even though it was just a box of chocolates, it made me happy. I don't have any other friends other than my boss, these guys mean so much to me.

" I'm glad you liked it. "

Jeno placed his hand on my knee as a friendly gesture, but my body acted as if it was the best feeling ever.

The warmth coming from his palm was addicting.

My thoughts were interrupted when Renjun announced that dinner was ready and hollered Jisung out from his room.

We ate dinner with a carefree chatter. I asked Donghyuck about him and Mark balancing the upcoming promotions and them expressing their excitement in working with me again.

" So Jisung, what do you think are the best dishes here? "

" The dishes that I've never ate before today. "

" Have kids they said, they'll be lovely they said. "

" Oh come on, hyung. Don't be too sad about losing to Y/N, Jisung always liked new things. "

" Let me introduce you to some thangs. "

Jeno shut Chenle up with a slice of beef within the second he finished the verse of 127's new song.

" Sorry, he's always been like that. " Jeno said with apologetic eyes.

" Don't worry, Hyuck told me everything about Chenle's crush on Taeyong. "

" Everyone has a crush on Taeyong hyung, ask Jisung. "

" The both of you are weird, case closed."

After dinner, we decided to watch a movie.

Hyuck and Chenle settled on some horror movie called Polaroid.

All of us were wedged on the sofa except for Chenle and Jisung who settled for sitting on the carpeted floor.

I was happily munching on my oreos when a sudden jump scare caught me off guard.

I basically jumped into Jaemin's lap when it happened.

" Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. "

" It's okay. It's called horror for a reason. "

He put his arm around my shoulders.

" There's nothing to be scared of with me around. "

Even though he meant that to be flirty, it still warmed my heart.

From then on, my attention was no longer fully on the movie in front of me. I started noticing little details of Jaemin tonight.

The way his pink sweater matches so well with his fair skin and the feeling of his broad shoulders whenever I leaned onto them.

The scent of Jaemin's cotton fragrance reminded me of waking up on my comfy bed, everything about Jaemin tonight makes my heart soft.

I barely noticed that the movie ended as Renjun announced that we were going to watch a drama that he wanted to watch for a long time.

I always got sleepy during dramas as they just aren't my genre of movies, and this time was no exception.

The only difference from this time and all the other times was the warmth and support I had beside me as I dozed off to slumber.

[imaginesandideas]

That dress

requested by my dear @youthbitch 🖤 and inspired by Freakum Dress by Beyoncé and That Dress by Pale White (guess where the title came from).

summary: You’re going out to have some fun and forget about Warren. But can Warren forget you? Especially in THAT dress?

WARNINGS: some swearing, drinking, bunch of innuendos, but generally FLUFF

word count: 2337

~~~~~

“Oh miss! That jealous fool better show up then.” Jean delivered with her hands raised in a gesture of unexpected awe as she entered your dorm. You only shot her a knowing smirk and continued admiring yourself in the mirror. And it was a sight to behold.

The dress was perfect. You know that feeling when suddenly that specific dress catches your eye at the store, and then you asses it and you’re almost completely convinced until you actually try it on and then you don’t want to take it off, like, ever?

Yes. That’s the dress.

It fitted you - perfectly. As if it was tailor-made with your gorgeous self in mind. Not too short, not too tight, not too loose. You know, enough to catch some eyes but not quite as to make people gouge them out. Though you wouldn’t mind blinding some individuals with your glowing appearance.

Cause you did glow.

World seemed to come to a stop as you and Jean entered the club hand in hand, dressed to the nines. Normally you’d say it’s your redheaded friend that catches everyone’s attention. But this time it felt like your night in every sense of the word. It was your time to shine.

After all the tears you’ve shed, all the downs and less frequent ups, you’ve decided it’s high time to get over your ex and finally have some fucking fun.

Because as much as you loved Warren, his impetuous nature and excessive jealousy was slowly driving you insane. Around a week after the breakup you’ve gotten to the point where you’ve realised it was never your fault, and in fact, you’ve missed the sweet freedom of single life.

So there you were, looking drop dead gorgeous, throwing enchanting smiles in every direction.

You approached the booth you spotted your friends in, swaying your hips to the beat along the way.

“____ ! I can’t remember you being so radiant before!” Jubilee teased and you flashed your friends a smile at the compliment.

The evening was about to go better than you’d previously thought. And each praise only fuelled your confidence.

Like everyone else you’ve had better and worse days. Worse? Seemed unbearable, you couldn’t look at yourself without constantly criticising every detail, even the tiniest mistake or minor failure. It took you a long way to become the person you are. Warren - while he was still by your side, was your biggest supporter. After all he’s been through, he knew more than well how hard it is to accept yourself.

And there you were, single, bold and proud in your dream dress. And you were about to have fun. So much fun...

The club was slowly filling up with mutants, many of them unfamiliar to you. You did recognise some faces from the mansion, some of them were your friends, but others were complete strangers with their unique mutations and boldness you had yet to achieve. They had that pride emanating from them, the one that you first noticed in Raven. She has always been a role model for you in a way. And now, surrounded by people much like her you felt a rush of courage in your veins.

No more hiding. No more staying in the darkness.

After few drinks and much needed catching up with your friends in the comfort and relative privacy provided by the booth, you entered the dance floor. Dragging Jean with you.

“_____ is it necessary? I don’t think I’ve drunk enough.” She yelled over the buzzing music. You only sniggered.

“Oh please! We both know you don’t need alcohol to have some fun every once in a while. And besides - you’ve promised to have a great time with me tonight!”

“Oh fine!”

The dance floor was cramped, the bodies around you exuded heat and the energy you couldn’t describe even if you tried. Yet you felt so at home. Like you belonged there.

You made enough space for the two of you to dance in your own rhythm, occasionally twirling and pulling each other closer. Just in case if someone was close to crushing one of you.

Sometimes you’d feel unfamiliar hands on your back, or sweaty limbs grazing you. From time to time you’d feel like someone was observing you. But you didn’t really care. Not while newfound energy was pumping in your veins. You let yourself get lost in the beat, eyes closing, only music leading you.

Until you realised you’ve lost Jean in the crowd somewhere. Panic washed over you and you decided to get out of the dance floor to find a better spot to look for her. Bar could do, so you forcefully pushed your way through the gathered crowd.

Some eyes that locked with your own were distant, zoned out, as if they were somewhere else in their ecstatic state. Not to mention some wasted individuals trying to pull you to them for a dance. Their hands were mindlessly grabbing your hips and arms. But you needed to get out. It was all too much, you needed to breathe, free yourself. And find Jean.

You pushed another slow-dancing couple out of your way and sent them one more apologetic look before finally reaching the bar. You turned around to have a look around the room, but you couldn’t spot Jean. And your booth in the far back of the room was empty.

You were ready to leave at that point, just grab your purse and go. But then you heard Jean’s voice in your head telling you that she’s in another booth, sharing drinks with Scott. Screw your girls night.

And then you saw him.

Out of all people you’ve actually expected to see, he decided to show up too. For what? To spy on you? To check if you’d planned on leaving hand in hand with someone else?

And he was staring at you. Wide-eyed, paralysed like a deer in headlights just few meters away from you. And he didn’t even say a word before you were being forcefully pulled out of the room. You weren’t able to say anything either. His grip was both harsh yet careful not to cause you any pain. You kept staring at his back until he opened the door to the bathroom. Luckily for you it was empty.

“Are you out of your mind?!”

He sneered spinning around after he’s locked the door and it threw you back to the moment.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh don’t act like you don’t know what I fucking mean!”

You were frowning as you leaned back on the cold counter. You crossed your arms over your chest.

“I don’t need your permission to do anything.” You exclaimed confidently to which he responded with exaggerated huff and threw his arms up in the air. “We’re not together Warren. I can do whatever I want and I don’t need no judgment from you or anyone else for that matter. Hell, I never even asked for it!”

“Then stop doing that!”

“Stop doing what?!”

He kept pacing around the room, tiles echoed his steps ominously. It was clear that he was struggling to comment on that without coming off as bitter. He was bitter, but he couldn’t give you that satisfaction. Not yet.

Someone abruptly pulled by the doorknob. Unsuccessfully so the next thing you heard was loud banging at the door.

“It’s occupied dickhead!” Warren barked at the door. It worked and soon you dived back into uncomfortable silence.

It must have been minutes without a word from him, and it was becoming unbearable. You waved your hand at him.

“Hm? You’re thinking or-?”

He sighed, almost embarrassed.

“Your dress, okay?! I meant your dress! I meant the way you look, the way people look at you, the way it makes me feel.”

You were, without a doubt, completely stunned. The dress you were wearing? Well, you meant to look good but... was it really that easy to light him up?

You felt a rush of confidence in your spine. The words left your mouth much quicker than idea for his response crossed your mind. But it was too late. And really - what could you lose?

“And how exactly does it make you feel?” You teased batting your eyelashes. You could sense him tense even more, heat radiating off his body even though you were the one who’s been dancing your soul off for the past hour. He couldn’t force himself to look at you directly, though you could notice him gazing at your legs and cleavage from the corner of his eye.

Surprisingly you felt great with it. Knowing that he’s so desperate, that he’s probably watched you twirl in that dress surrounded by strangers. Strangers who were much closer to you than he was in that moment, strangers who could reach to you, who could touch you.

And where was that school-famous rebel, that local playboy you used to long for so badly? He was gone, barely standing straight in your breathtaking glow. Almost on his knees, and you were pretty sure that soon enough you could make him bow.

“I don’t like you like this.”

“Why?” You asked straightening your posture. You’d break him, you just needed him to admit it.

“Makes me jealous. Makes me want to push all those morons out of my way and take you home. Makes me want to rip it off you and you’re not even mine anymore.”

The thought itself made you bite your lip. You’ve missed that sweet mix of his protective nature and raw lust. You’ve missed that possessiveness of his. Cause no matter how often you two would fight because of it, he could always persuade you with his pretty eyes and sweet promises of change.

Now you had him in your pocket. And it felt glorious.

“Rip it off? Why?” You quietly spoked as you walked up to him. He looked up at an instant sensing the change in your attitude. Soon he was grinning, only a thin of coyness left between you and him.

“Cause I know what’s underneath and I miss it.” Very smooth, you thought.

“Is that so? You think you still deserve it?”

“I can work for it!” He spoke straightening his whole posture. “I’ll earn it. I’ll earn YOU back. Just give me a chance _____. Please!”

He was pretty much begging now. So close to dropping to his knees and kissing his way up to your forgiveness. And then he actually did, his wings spreading behind his back like a blockade for you to stay.

“Please _____. I’m sorry, I’ve been a fucking moron but please let me prove you that I’ve changed.” He was kneeling down at your feet and as much as it surprised you, it felt absolutely terrific. His hands delicately skimmed up and down your legs, his eyes shining with hope as he admired you. A goddess.

You’ve missed those hands, and eyes... and him.

And as much as it was empowering to watch him collapse at your feet begging, you’ve felt like it was enough.

“So? Please?”

“First of all, stand up. I don’t like to feel like a tower.” You sighed defeated and he stood up as if on command. “Second, you I’m not going to promise you anything, at least for now. But I can give you that one more chance.”

His smile grew impossibly wide, emphasising the adorable blush on his cheeks.

“Shit, can I kiss you now? I can’t wait any longer.”

“Well, I’d like that.” You answered with a click of your tongue and he responded immediately closing the gap between you, making you gasp.

“My tigress.” He growled before grabbing you by the hips and kissing you ferociously. It felt so needy, so raw you could barely stand on your feet as he firmly pulled you to him. He kept sucking the air out of your lungs, grasping at your curves as you wrapped your hands tightly around his neck. Suddenly he picked you up and spun you around which made you detach from his lips and squeal.

“Put me down! Warren!”

“Alright, alright! Everything for the princess.” He joked which earned him a small punch in the arm. As much as you enjoyed all different kinds of fun with Warren, wet bathroom tiles weren’t exactly a good spot for it. Though you kept your hands where you liked them the most. Around that gorgeous neck of his.

“Where did the tigress go now, huh?” You continued your frisky game, only a bit softened by the princess nickname.

“Oh she’s still there. I could see her claws and fangs from afar. Swaying her hips like a goddess on that dance floor.” You leaned away from him enough to take his entire face in and eyed him suspiciously.

“Is that why you showed up?”

“Well...” His cheeks flushed as his neck slowly started turning red, accentuating the veins on his neck. He tried looking away but he knew it was pointless with you pretty much still in his arms. “I wanted to get you back. So, that, and umm... You wearing that dress really makes me, uhh, sensitive.”

“Oh! Okay. So I guess I’ll need to stop wearing it, I don’t want you walking around-“

“No no!”

He reacted so quickly you didn’t even get a chance to put the pieces together. But lucky for you, for once he did not leave you hanging.

“I mean, you can wear it. But... maybe not when we go to more official events together? Or you can just wear it inside my dorm maybe?”

“Is that an invitation?”

“Could be. Only if you promise not to hate me if the dress gets wrinkled on the floor.” He said winking at you with lust beaming from his azure eyes. He held his arm out for you before he opened the door. The booming music of the club entered your ears momentarily. There was also a long queue of people complaining outside the restroom. But you did not mind, not when your plans for the night and the future were clearing up.

~~~~~

Comments, ideas and words of notice are always appreciated 💜

Warren taglist: @thesecondlastjedi @fourmisfitz @shae-is-not-ok @simplyvictoria-93 @rockyroadthepastryarchy @hisatumb @samantha-is-fandom-trash @ziamhathrisen @silvver-rose @whatthefluffrichard @mcrmarvelloki

LMK if you want to be on/off the taglist 🙌

[jjonesin4]

Songfic Writing Challenge

Day 29: A song you remember from your childhood

Knock Three Times, Tony Orlando & Dawn

This is from the soundtrack of the iconic 1995 coming-of-age film, Now & Then. I think I still have the old VHS tape with the cardboard cover tattered from overuse. I can clearly picture the girls riding their bikes up the street singing along to this song and using their bike bells as the knocks. It was peak girl squad energy. 

Also, Teeny had a RADIO on her BIKE! That was the dream.

It has been one month since Jughead Jones first stepped foot in the prestigious halls of Stonewall Preparatory. He appreciates the writing scholarship and knows that it’s an amazing opportunity. That being said, he desperately misses his freedom.

There are so many rules at Stonewall. No fighting. No swearing. No eating in class. No leaving campus. No cell phones. There’s a dress code, a behavior code, and an ethics code. Jughead wears his beanie with the crown edges in his room as a small form of rebellion. It eases his homesickness and keeps him grounded to his Southside roots.

As an insomniac, the curfew has been the most difficult adjustment. His roommate is a deep sleeper and goes to bed promptly at 10 PM, which allows Jughead his much appreciated privacy, but also leaves him basically alone in a very quiet room. 

Instead of sleepless nights typing away on his ancient laptop in the back booth at Pop’s, he is confined to his dorm room desk with the Stonewall Prep-issued Macbook. All social media and streaming services are blocked on the school network.

He thought the silence was going to kill him the first night. That was until about midnight when he heard the muffled sound of what had to be contraband music coming from the room below him through the vent by his desk.

The next day he did a little reconnaissance to find out more details on the person bold enough to play outlawed music openly after lights out. This was the kind of person he wanted to befriend. He walked down the stairwell and turned left down the hallway instead of proceeding down the stairs to the main level that contains the dining hall and other co-ed spaces. He counted three doors on his right-hand side to find the room below his.

The name on the door read “Elizabeth Cooper.” He made a mental note to look her up in the yearbooks that could inevitably be found in the library later that day and made his way downstairs to grab a quick breakfast before his first class.  

Jughead jogged into the classroom as he shoved the last of a banana in his mouth. He almost choked on the mushy fruit when he saw unquestionably the most gorgeous girl to ever exist seated in the front row.

She had on the same uniform as all of the other girls, but fuck did it work for her. The navy sweater hugged her in all the right places. The plaid skirt rode up to her mid thigh.  Her long legs clad in knee socks were crossed at the ankles. How did she make saddle shoes look that hot?

Jughead had to all but pinch himself to make his way into the classroom and snag the empty seat directly behind this preppy goddess just as the teacher started calling attendance.

“Cooper, Elizabeth.”

“Present,” she said in the prettiest voice Jughead has ever heard.

“Jones, Forsythe.”

Jughead was so distracted that THIS was the girl that lived right below him (slept below him, at times was naked below him) that he missed his name being called.

“Once more,” the agitated English teacher said, “Jones, Forsythe!”

“Uh, oh...present,” Jughead stuttered.

That was a month ago. It’s been a whole month of observing Elizabeth Cooper and Jughead can confidently say that he is in love. Unfortunately, every attempt to get her alone has failed. There are always people around her! She is never left alone for a second in class, the library, the dining hall, or the student lounge.

The only part of her Jughead can claim as his is the music that hums through his vents every night. It’s inspiring. Every night he imagines how her swaying body would feel under his grip as he writes until almost dawn.

This morning as Jughead walks to his first class he thinks of all of the things he has learned about his muse.

She goes by Betty and always wears her bouncy waves in a neat ponytail. He has to actively stop himself from curling his fingers in her hair when she leans back and the ends temptingly swish in front of him.

She smells like strawberries and sunshine, if sunshine had a smell.

Her big, green eyes are extremely expressive. They can convey a wide range of emotions and he wants to catalogue each look. He physically aches with the desire to know what every flash in her eyes, every scrunch of her nose, every curve of her perfectly pink lips, every blush of that wonderfully smooth skin means.

Physical beauty aside, Betty is the most genuinely kind person he has ever encountered. She is also whip smart, an astonishing writer, and darkly humorous. He adores her and needs to do something before his pining loses him a scholarship.

Jughead has daydreamed his way to class and finds his seat.

Not for the first time, his mind starts to race along with his heart as he sits behind Betty Cooper in their Modern Lit class.

How did romance exist before cell phones? He can’t ask for her number under the guise of needing assistance on an assignment and then build up a texting relationship. He can’t look through what he knows are heartbreakingly beautiful photos on her Instagram and slide into her DMs. He can’t even call her! Even his great grandfather had access to a phone! What is he going to do? Write her?

He could write her!

But then what? Her roommate would certainly see anything shoved under the door. It would be way too risky to pass a note in class or even in the halls. Then it hits him. It’s perfect!

Well, not perfect, but it might work.

Before Jughead can talk himself out of it, he sets his desperate plan into motion as the class is dismissed and the students shuffle up to the door. He manages to elbow his way past Brett to get behind Betty.

“Look out your window tonight at midnight,” Jughead says quietly in Betty’s ear. He may be imagining things, but he thinks he sees a shiver run down her spine. With that he wills himself to walk past her before he does something stupid like smell her golden hair or touch the porcelain skin of her face.

For once Jughead isn’t hungry. He can’t stomach the thought of dinner, so he retires to his room while his classmates eat and socialize. There, at his desk, the one right above Betty Cooper’s desk, he composes his seemingly hopeless attempt to meet her alone. The note reads:

I realize that you don’t even know me, but I hear you dancing alone every night. I hear the music playing one floor below me and I don’t feel so alone.

I listen to your responses and read your exquisite words in class and I feel more and more compelled to get to know you.

I want to talk to you away from the ubiquitous presence of our classmates and faculty.

Knock three times on the ceiling if you’ll meet me in your hallway.

Twice on the pipes if the answer is no.

This may seem like a crazy plan, but this is the most private means of communication I can think of without the luxury of our phones.

At 11:59 that night Jughead gently lowers an envelope tied to a string down to Betty’s window. He lets out an audible breath when he feels a tug on the other end of the string. He looks down to see Betty’s elegant hand gently take the note inside her window.

His heart is racing. What if this is a terrible idea? What if she doesn’t want him?

Jughead’s nervous pacing and spiring self doubt is interrupted by a soft thud below him. His eyes go wide and as he holds his breath ready to count for her response.

Knock

Knock

Knock

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Young Love and an Episode of Friends (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader) PART 2

Part 1: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/184306689634/young-love-and-an-episode-of-friends-bakugou

Summary: As soon as Shinsou and Bakugou figure out that you’re trapped in hell, they reluctantly team up so they can rescue you. 

Everyone was begging for a part 2, but I was definitely going to do a part 2! So this is for you guys!! There’s still some angst in here but please enjoy!! And BTW this sorta cross-overs with American Horror Story since you’re going to see a character from the show in here! 

LOL Good Golly what have I done? This is SO long... and it gradually became more of a Shinsou X Reader X Bakugou thing the more I wrote it...

BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!

Featuring: Lord Explosion Murder!! AAAAAND Our Fave Emo, Purple Boi!

Cause I’m a warrior, I fight for my life Like a soldier, all through the night And I won’t give up, I will survive I’m a warrior And I’m stronger, that’s why I’m alive I will conquer, time after time I’ll never falter, I will survive I’m a warrior

-’Warrior’ Avril Lavigne

A week passed by ever since UA lost one of its students so suddenly and unexpectedly. 

All-Might, Aizawa and the rest of the pro-heroes were beyond shocked and confused when the students of Class 1-A reluctantly and tearfully admitted that their friend from the General Studies was no longer with them as they proved this by showing nothing but the ashes that used to be yours. 

Of course, the news got out to the media and UA was currently under fire yet again. It was bad when a student had been kidnapped by villains, but now they were in bigger trouble now that a student was presumably killed by the suspect that had been spotted on the campus.

However, after many painful interviews with the media, the students were allowed to still attend school. But the security had been doubled and the students were given somewhat less freedom, earlier curfews and escorts to lead them out of school for fear that a villain just might be lurking around the shadows.

Despite all that was going on, it almost didn’t matter to the students of Class 1-A and the General Studies students. To them, all that mattered was that they lost one of their friends. And they had spent the entire week grieving for you, and even attended the funeral that was held for you by your distraught parents.

Tears were shed, especially from your childhood friend Izuku as he spent the entire week in melancholy, regretting that he didn’t help you as much as he should have the second you used your quirk to try and help them find that villain. Uraraka and Aoyama did their best though to comfort the boy, even if they were grieving for you too. 

Shinsou didn’t dare show his tears, not until he was in the privacy of his room where he did cry for you. Even if it was only a couple of months, you and he had gotten close in the General Studies as your attitude slowly won him over because you actually liked his quirk and thought he was ‘cool’. You were one of the only people he could say he genuinely liked, so losing you was like having a kitten that you realized you adored and wanted to keep forever, only to have someone take that little cutie away from you to never see again.

He missed you. He actually missed you and wished you were here because he felt more alone than ever without his friend here to watch this episode of Friends he was watching. The show used to make him feel good, but now he couldn’t even find it in him to smile because you weren’t there to watch it with him. 

And finally, there was your second childhood friend Bakugou. After you disappeared and died in front of him, he broke down hard and couldn’t be consoled by any of his friends, not even his parents could offer him any comfort without him screaming at them to just fuck off and leave him alone. And as the week passed, he realized just how much you had meant to him. As soon as you slipped away, only then did he realize that he didn’t treat you as well as he should have. He wouldn’t ever tell anyone else, but he took back everything he ever said about you.

Now that you were gone and never coming back, he was overwhelmed with this weight in his chest that stirred up so much emotions that made him vibrate with such anger and remorse that it almost terrified him. Without you, it felt so damn miserable and he couldn’t believe just how painful it felt without you there with him. Even though he constantly turned down all of your offers to hang out, he still knew that you were at least there for him to think about. He thought about you a lot, and at times felt regret for being such a dick to you, but now there was nothing but regret in his chest because the last thing he did was call you weak and useless in what ended up being your final moments.

Bakugou rarely ever felt guilty for being callous to people and very seldom did he apologize for such, but if he could find some way to turn back time, the first thing he would do is tell you how sorry he was for everything.

He knew he couldn’t though because you were gone. And that knowledge just made it all the more painful as he sat on his bed, clutching at his hair as he failed once again to hold back the river as his breath hitched as a sob left his throat. It was very late, as he had been going to bed even later for the past week because he couldn’t sleep without you on his mind. God, there was no way to even begin to describe this emptiness he was feeling, and there was no way to get him out of this pit he had dug himself inside.

He was missing you like crazy. And he couldn’t shake it off, because he wanted you here. But you were gone, and you weren’t coming back…

------

Meanwhile, Shinsou lied in his bed. His insomnia would be the death of him, but he hasn’t slept in the past 4 days because he was too busy grieving and missing you and binge-watching Friends, which did nothing to comfort him because all it did was remind him of you.

He couldn’t sleep, no matter how much he was trying to since Aizawa had been nagging him to get some sleep lately, but it was hard. However, tonight he would try because he was starting to dream during the day which wasn’t a good sign.

Reluctantly, Shinsou closed his eyes to try and let the exhaustion in his body slowly take him into dream world. For a moment, he swore he was asleep as the bed felt very comfortable and he felt soothed by the mild ambience he could hear…

“Oh my God…” 

Shinsou’s eyes slowly opened when he thought he heard a voice, your voice. He sat up from his bed and looked at his door. For a minute it felt like he was dreaming again, but he held his tongue in case he heard it again.

“No stop it… please whoever’s doin’ this just stop it…”

“(Y/N)?” Shinsou knew that was definitely your voice, and it was alarming for him to hear after a week without you. He wondered if you were around, but he could hear the terror in your tone, why were you so scared? Were you in trouble?

He had to know…

Carefully, he opened his door and saw nothing but the darkness that blackened the hallways of the 4th floor. There was nobody around, but he knew what he heard…

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!”

Shinsou gasped as soon as he heard you screaming and as soon as he looked over his shoulder, he saw a figure standing in the middle of the hall.

It was you!

“(Y/N)!” He almost felt overwhelmed as soon as he saw you, in one piece. And yet, he couldn’t be so sure if it was really you as he speed-walked over to you. You were sobbing and falling to your knees.

It broke his heart to see you like that, and the first thing he did was get down to your level. Hesitatingly, he carefully put his hand on your shoulder

“(Y/N)…” He quietly said your name, and you gasped and looked up to see his purple hues looking into your (E/C) eyes full of tears. There were specks of blood on your face, and he wondered just what in the world happened to you…

“Hitoshi…?” Tears rapidly fell down your face as you gasped a shaky breath of relief, bringing your shaking arms out desperately for a hug. “Oh Hitoshi… thank God for you… thank God for you… thank God you came…” You sobbed as Shinsou slowly hugged you, but it felt so right. This was you, your actual body… at least it felt just like your actual body.

“It’s all right… it’s okay… but what happened? Where are you…?” He asked, because he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or if somehow he woke up on another side that you were on. This looked like the dorms, but darker and colder.

“I-I don’t have long…  I-I shouldn’t even have tried but if you see someone that ain’t me… leave, and don’t come back… it’s not safe… I-I… I-It’s Hell… it’s Hell here Hitoshi… I found myself in a dark place and now I just see you and Izuku, Katsuki and everyone else dying… over… and over again… and I can’t get out of it…” Your voice broke as you started to cry again, “And they don’t even serve no food in Hell… that’s what really made me realize that this is truly Hell…”

He would have scolded you for such a stupid remark, but just hearing you say that it was HELL that you were in shocked and confused him him. “What…? How in the world did find yourself in Hell…?”

You shivered and hyperventilated, sniffling a little bit. “I-I don’t know… b-but the man… t-the man from the mall… it’s him… he was the one who was spotted on campus… he’s in charge here…” As soon as you mentioned the ‘man from the mall’, Shinsou’s eyes widened a little bit, having remembered you telling him about that encounter you had with that strange man while you were out with Bakugou. 

And it all made sense. He encountered you, and then a couple of days later you just happen to disappear.

“You have to stay away from him he knows all of your worst fears just by lookin’ at you… he’ll use those fears to create your own version of Hell… y-you have to leave right now… h-he’ll find you and try and drag you to Hell too… Hitoshi please just protect everyone, tell Katsuki I’m sorry I didn’t come back, please…” You trembled as you spoke quickly, begging your friend as his expression took on a concerned one as he kept his eyes on you the whole time.

“I’m not leaving you.” Shinsou shook his head, refusing to lose you again as you started to sob, “Hitoshi… Hitoshi I love you but please you have to… he’s going to come back… you have to go now… there’s no way for me to leave, but I ain’t lettin’ him leave either… I have to concentrate, I can only keep him stuck with me here for so long, but don’t try fightin’ him if he gets out…”

“But (Y/N)…”

“Hitoshi…” Before you could say anything else, you shrieked as an invisible force suddenly pried you away from Shinsou and dragged you back into the blackness.

“(Y/N)!” 

Shinsou awoke with a gasp, his eyes shooting wide open as he sat up from his bed, feeling sweat misting his forehead and neck as he tried to remember everything that just happened. He realized that he was back in his room and wondered if that was only a dream.

There was no way it had to have just been a dream though…

He refused to believe it was a dream. Not when you looked way too frantic and desperate in that moment, so he got up from bed and put on some clothes. It might have been extremely late, but he had to do something. If it was really Hell you were trapped in, he wasn’t going to just sleep on that. How could he?

As soon as he stepped outside his dorm, he was surprised to see Bakugou out and about, and he looked horrible. He seemed a little bit paler, and it showed in the darkness and he got a little bit thinner, and sported light but visible bags under his eyes. No doubt from a lack of sleep and proper nutrition over the week due to still processing his grief.

However, despite how tired and miserable he looked; it didn’t stop him from leering at Shinsou.

“Eye-Bags? What the fuck are you doing up so damn late?” He asked him angrily, and hypocritically given how he was still awake himself, but for a completely different reason. And he had assumed because this freak had insomnia based on those bags under his eyes that he appropriately nicknamed him.

“Oh that’s rich coming from you. It’s 3 in the morning. What are you doing up?” Shinsou asked him, ignoring the way the blonde glared at him, “I’m the one asking YOU that you bastard!” Bakugou would have yelled louder, but he knew that would wake his classmates up. No he didn’t care if he woke them up, but he didn’t want them to wake up because then they would either bother him or scold him for being awake at this hour.

“I’m looking for (Y/N).” Shinsou then replied rather casually, which made Bakugou’s eyes widen a little bit, but he quickly narrowed them and clenched his fists and quietly growled. For a moment he was starting to think that this idiot was either hallucinating or trying to fuck with him. And the last thing he needed was to be reminded of the fact that you weren’t there, and there’s no way that you could have been here. He saw you disappear, he felt you disappear from his arms. 

“Don’t fucking play games with me Eye-Bags… She’s NOT here! You saw what happened! She’s GONE! And there’s no way she could possibly come back! So don’t say stupid shit like that!!”

Despite Bakugou’s shouting and the ferocity in his reddened eyes, Shinsou didn’t yield nor did he flinch. “I saw her.” He remarked with slightly narrowed eyes, but all that did was make the explosive teen even madder.

“I swear to God you get out of this hall RIGHT now before I lose my shit. I’m not even kidding… GET out of here…” Bakugou was practically seething at the purple-haired boy as he his palms crackled to threaten him before he said anything else that would piss him off.

Shinsou wasn’t intimidated. He could have easily brain-washed him right then and there if he wanted to, and he still could. But he wouldn’t. Not right now at least. “I heard her. I saw her in a dream. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I was in the dorms, and I saw her right out here…” He explained, and that surprised Bakugou enough for his eyes to slightly widen and hold his fire. 

That was a very specific dream, and as much as he didn’t want to believe it, he knew that this freak didn’t have any reason to lie to him. Shinsou was your friend after all, and Bakugou didn’t like him at all, and some of that stemmed from jealousy because of how close you both got after only a couple of months at best.

What did this guy do that he couldn’t?

Oh right. Treat you with respect and actually spend time with you. Bakugou remembered that bitterly, and he hated himself a little bit more just thinking about every moment where he treated you like garbage. 

However, before he could get miserable again, he reluctantly listened to what this brainwashing bastard had to say.

“I think she’s in trouble.” All he had to do was say that, and that suddenly put Bakugou on edge as he gasped quietly and widened his eyes, “What the hell do you mean by that? What did you see in your dream? Tell me!” 

“I saw her right out here. She stood right here in this spot, but she said she couldn’t get out of the place she found herself in.” Shinsou said, scanning around this hallway as he listened carefully but didn’t hear anything but snoring from other closed rooms. As he spoke, Bakugou scowled at him but he paid attention. There’s no way that was just a coincidence, and on top of that, even if your physical form wasn’t here, what did that mean about your spiritual form?

“(Y/N)’s quirk lets her go into the netherworlds or some shit like that. Her soul can travel wherever she wants, but nobody can see her soul when she’s in those different planes. And she never came back, because she got stuck somewhere.” The ash-blonde finally said after a moment of silence and concentration. The more Bakugou thought about it, the more he realized that there was a very strong possibility that you weren’t actually gone, and Shinsou believed that possibility.

Because something wasn’t right. He knew it wasn’t. 

For a second, Shinsou thought that perhaps he was just in the denial stage in the stages of grief, but he couldn’t ignore this feeling he had or what he saw in that dream. There’s no way that you were just dead, you didn’t return to your body for a reason. 

It’s like Bakugou had said, you got stuck. And Shinsou was starting to think that you were probably still stuck wherever you were at. He almost had hope that perhaps he could find someway to get you out. It felt like an impossible idea, but he had to try.

He wanted to be a hero for this exact reason, to protect and rescue people, especially people he cared about. And you were one of those people. Shinsou knew how much you loved Bakugou, and he didn’t understand it, but it wouldn’t stop him from trying to save you.

“The things I do for love.” He muttered to himself as he turned his back to his irritable classmate, “Hey! Where the hell are you going?!” 

“To (Y/N)’s house. She’s in trouble and I know it. She said that man from the mall is the one who trapped her, but she’s keeping him trapped too so he can’t take anyone else. I’m not telling the teachers because I doubt they’ll be any real help… and they won’t help quick enough.” Shinsou explained his plan, albeit with the intention of doing this all on his own because he understood your quirk well since he had helped you train with it whenever you descended and returned from the netherworlds. 

But as soon as Bakugou heard him mention that freak from the mall, his eyes widened, and he pieced it altogether. That bastard was the reason why you never came back. He creeped on you at the mall because he wanted you, and as soon as he had his opportunity, he took you. Why else did the person who that man crept on at the mall just suddenly disappear?

He felt his fists clenching as he grit his teeth, growling as angry tears welled in his fierce eyes. That person was as good as dead once he got his hands on them. You must have been terrified and exhausted having to keep that freak in the netherworlds with you…

“Hey Eye-Bags, don’t even think about doing this alone, I’M going to find (Y/N) and get her out of wherever the hell she is and kill that fucker!” He declared and already started following him, but Shinsou wasn’t at all pleased.

“Now he wants to actually do something for her.” He said, earning a snarl from the explosive teen. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” 

Shinsou almost chuckled, “You know what I mean. All (Y/N) wanted was to spend time with you and make you happy, and you repaid the favor by treating her like shit. She knew it too, but it didn’t stop her from trying anyway.” He revealed some truth to him, and Bakugou wasn’t surprised but hearing it from Shinsou just really… made him feel like the worst shit ever. 

“If that’s not love I don’t know what is…” However, Shinsou sounded a little bit bitter, even though he was well aware that you loved Bakugou, warts and all.

His eyes nearly widened and involuntarily felt his cheeks heating up once he said ‘love’, there’s no way your feelings towards him ran deeper than just friendship. But Bakugou knew better than that, he knew that you cared about him more than you probably should have. He didn’t know why because of how badly he treated you, but if he got you back, he wasn’t going to treat you like that ever again…

“Tch… why don’t you just shut up? I know I fucked up. I was a shitty friend to her, but I’m getting her back. End of story. And I’m coming with you whether you like it or not you brainwashing bastard.” He roughly said to him, obviously not backing down and looking absolutely livid yet determined. Shinsou knew there was no stopping this guy, and as much as he didn’t like him, if it meant getting you back quicker then he wouldn’t stop him.

Shinsou gave a heavy sigh. “Fine.” He said as he exited the building with the ash-blonde, “So why the hell are you going to her place?”

“We trained together often. She showed me some old books from her mother and grandmother. The books detailed her family history and their quirks, along with other spells and incantations. She has some relatives that have similar quirks.” He somewhat briefly explained what he knew and had a hunch that delving further into your family tree might bring them closer to getting you back somehow. 

This wasn’t new to Bakugou, he knew that you had weird family that you weren’t close to, but he didn’t know much about their quirks since he regrettably ignored some of the things you had told him while explaining and showing him one of the large books you kept. “And you think calling up some old relative is going to help?” It wasn’t Bakugou’s ideal plan. What he wanted was to find the asshole who took you and beat him bloody and force him to bring you back from wherever it is that he trapped you.

Shinsou sighed in annoyance. He should have just brainwashed him to go back to bed so he could do this alone, but that wouldn’t have felt right because he knew that they both cared about you and loved you. “Yes.” He replied simply, “We can’t do anything. That man can jump into planes like (Y/N) can. We can’t… (Y/N) was warning me in my dream… I think I had that dream because she was trying to send out the signal to warn someone, anyone about him.” He thought and analyzed how he had that dream. Of course, he hadn’t slept in 4 days and was basically half asleep and half awake in that duration, and he was starting to wonder if that was how you managed to get to him and warn him. 

Bakugou wanted to argue, and he would have, if they weren’t sneaking out of the school because that would just alert the staff that students were out of bed and leaving the school. He wasn’t planning on getting caught, not when you were in trouble. He was going to get you back. One way or another

------

Shinsou felt somewhat guilty once he arrived at your house, and had to explain to your distraught parents why they were here at 4 in the morning but because they trusted Shinsou, they allowed him to come inside to do what he needed to do. Bakugou was familiar with your parents though, but your dad didn’t seem very happy to let him in. There was no time to argue though, as Shinsou immediately went to your empty room.

It wasn’t the first time he’s been in your room before, and usually it was full of lazy energy and goofy smiles from you. But now this room felt even emptier without you in it, and Bakugou felt the exact same way. He had been in here plenty of times, often reluctantly, but it felt painful now to be in your room without you in it.

He just had to bring you back home, and then he would watch a damn episode of Friends that you love so much in here.

“Here it is.” Shinsou went over to your shelf and pulled out the largest book there, and opened it to look through and find some of your younger relatives that had similar quirks, much to Bakugou’s annoyance because he was taking way too long for his liking.

“How hard is it to find someone with a fucking similar quirk?” He asked, almost tempted to yank it from the purple-haired teen to find one himself, “I can’t just choose a random relative.” Shinsou quickly snapped back with a somewhat irritated tone, and started reading up on the details of your quirk, “Besides… if we want to get her back for sure, we need to have a better understanding of her quirk. It’s called ‘Decensum’.”

“I know what her quirk is called!!” Bakugou shouted, now he was really getting annoyed. He should have just gone out to find the bastard himself, “Dammit! We’re wasting time reading a damn book when we should be finding the freak who took her!”

“The ‘freak’ took her to Hell.” Shinsou quickly stated, and Bakugou for once stopped and shut himself up the second he heard ‘Hell’…

“What…?”

“We both know that Decensum allows her to travel into the netherworlds. And it says here that Hell is one of them, but it’s different compared to what most people believe. Instead of a fiery pit, Hell is an afterlife designed for the souls of the damned to suffer their worst fears for all eternity on an endless loop to add to the suffering.” He read outloud what was in your book, complete with various pictures of people suffering unique fears including a woman surrounded by strangers and lost in a crowd, and a man being humiliated in public or a child being forced in a dirty pit full of worms. But Bakugou was too in shock to really pay a whole lot of attention, although he could still hear him.

“Sometimes Hell can even take the form of a person’s worst memories from terrible times in their lives where they suffered. (Y/N)… she said she was watching us die… and all of her friends…” Shinsou almost cringed when he thought about just how much you were suffering, he recalled the misery in your eyes when you appeared in that dream. 

Bakugou blinked slowly, a look of horror and fear crossing his features, two feelings he wasn’t familiar with. But he couldn’t believe it. “What is she doing in Hell…? She doesn’t belong there…” He shook his head, almost refusing to believe it but he knew Shinsou wasn’t lying.

Shinsou wished he was though, “She wanted me to tell you that she’s sorry for not coming back… even though… we both know it’s not her fault…” He did what you wanted him to and told Bakugou what you had wanted to tell him, and the ash-blonde’s heart broke for the 100th time that week as a new surge of anger coursed through his veins.

He was going to kill that bastard, slowly and painfully. “Tch… of course it isn’t… that idiot…” He muttered, refusing to cry again even though his eyes started to burn with the ghosts of tears threatening to form. 

Shinsou almost felt sorry for him in that moment, because he was angry and sad too. “She also said that the man’s quirk has to do with manipulating Hell. That’s why she got stuck, he’s dragged her into her version of Hell…” He figured it all out now as soon as he had all the pieces. 

And it fueled him and Bakugou even more to try and rescue you, but going to Hell sounded extremely dangerous and difficult. This is definitely where one of your relatives would come in handy.

“Good news. Decensum can lead to death if the person doesn’t return to their physical bodies in 15 minutes, but their souls can still be released from Hell and restored when they’re brought back to the physical plane.” Shinsou’s eyes slightly widened as soon as soon as he read that on another page and Bakugou perked up. If what he was reading was true, then there was still a chance to get all of you back… 

“So who the hell are we supposed to call in that?” He asked with narrowed eyes, not looking forward to meeting one of your weird relatives since you weren’t close to many of them for a reason. But he’d force them to come over here if it meant getting you back.

Shinsou was quiet for a moment as he started flipping pages to find some potential candidates to call up, but many of their quirks weren’t that helpful or entirely similar to yours, and a good lot of them were quirkless too. However, he paused as soon as he saw one strange looking relative.

Michael Langdon. Who this book claimed was your second cousin once removed. He was a very handsome, blonde young man with striking blue eyes, but where it said ‘quirk’ it read ‘unknown’. Which made Shinsou a little suspicious, especially when he read up on the scarce details of his history that implied a checkered past. And on top of that, there was only so much information provided about him. No wonder you weren’t close to any of your more distant cousins.

But as much as Michael’s past and lack of a named quirk was unsettling him, there was a longer written part about him that stated that he could perform many feats such as telekinesis, scrying, weather manipulation, pyrokinesis, teleportation, mind control and astral projection…

Mind control was Shinsou’s quirk, and astral projection was your quirk… 

Did he have more than one quirk like Midoriya? Or did his quirk grant him more than one power like Todoroki? What in the world was this person? 

“What’s taking so long?! Have you found someone or not?!” Bakugou’s impatience interrupted his thoughts though, and Shinsou didn’t hide his annoyance. “I found someone… but I don’t think you’re going to like him.” He said as a warning, because he wasn’t so sure he was going to like him that much either. 

“I don’t like a lot of people…” Bakugou stated simply, because it was the truth, but that was one thing he and Shinsou had in common…

But this person seemed very shady. Yet, they were going to do whatever it took to get you back somehow. Including calling a stranger that was somehow related to you on a distant level.

------

SOMEWHERE IN NEW ORLEANS…

Michael Langdon didn’t expect to receive a call. Especially not from all the way around the world in Japan, and he was almost pleasantly surprised to hear about a cousin he had no idea even existed until today. 

“(Y/N) (L/N)?” He asked as he held his phone, almost curious to know about this cousin. “Yeah…” Shinsou didn’t feel comfortable when he spoke to this stranger, but right now Michael seemed like his only hope of getting you back.

So Michael paid close attention, smiling the entire time as his eyes darkened a little bit. He never got a chance to know his cousin, not after his grandmother abandoned him and neglected to tell him everything else about his family history. So he almost felt like it would be the right thing to do.

After the women from New Orleans took him into their school, he steadily got a handle on his own powers and slowly started learning right from wrong. Despite the fact that he was the son of Satan.

“I’d be happy to help.” Michael said politely, but didn’t expect a second voice to speak to him, “And hurry the hell up! Or else I’ll go down wherever and drag you by the feet if I have to!” Bakugou was much less polite than Shinsou, and growing much more impatient by the second as he clung to the hope that you were still alive and that you could still be saved. He knew he shouldn’t have set his hopes up so high, but he just wanted you back and he hated that so far there didn’t seem to be any other way to get you back other than place his faith into a stranger he had never met before. 

Michael was taken aback by this new person, and felt offended by how rude he was being, almost tempted to just set his soul on fire the minute he sees him, “Very well…” He muttered as he hung up, and after speaking with his teachers, he promptly set flight for Japan. 

It wasn’t hard for him to book the quickest flight to Japan, because his abilities allowed him to control the people in charge and he easily got on the plane without having to pay a cent. He wasn’t sure if he would even get to know you well, but for some reason the human side of him told him that helping a family member was the right thing to do. Especially if you were in trouble on another level above the physical realm.

------

SOMEWHERE IN HELL…

You gasped in hitched sobs as you shut your eyes to avoid looking at the visions of your dear friends and beloved Katsuki dying right in front of you for the millionth time.

This truly was your Hell, because you were utterly powerless to stop any of your friends from dying, even if you knew that they were visions, the knowledge did nothing to quell your fear, misery and grief every single time you saw them die. Somehow, the knowledge actually made the suffering worse.

Yet, you didn’t bow, even though every moment you felt as if you were going to, and if you were being honest, you wanted to. But you couldn’t let this person win, no matter how many times he broke you over and over again. 

When the warm blood splattered on your face, you held back your scream even as the tears and wails left your throat.

“I’ll be there for you… when the rain starts to pour, I’ll be there for you… Like I’ve been there before…” To distract yourself, you would sing your favorite songs just to remind yourself that this was Hell and that you couldn’t let these visions shatter everything about you, no matter how many times they broke you.

“Stop fighting it…” Shinigami growled when you looked away yet again from ‘Katsuki’, but you knew that wasn’t your Katsuki.

“No…” You shook your head, cracking one eye open to glare up at him, “You can trap people in Hell… but their emotions can interfere with your power… if they’re suffering… good on you… that just means your quirk is working… but the more aware they are… the less power you have over em…” You muttered what you had realized over the endless time you had been suffering. Shinigami glared at you as soon as he realized that you had figured out the limitations of his Hell Imprisonment quirk.

It was new to you, but as long as you were tied and trapped in this afterlife, you made sure that this man wouldn’t escape. It required all of your concentration to keep him bound to this afterlife with you, but if it meant keeping him from getting to your friends. You would suffer.

“You’ll suffer for a man who doesn’t love you…?” He asked and looked at you like you were stupid, and you just snickered and shook your head with a grin. “No…”

“I’ll suffer for all of my loved ones, including the one who doesn’t love me… I’ll suffer these visions again and again, and never eat again and never watch an episode of Friends ever again and suffer all of this pain for all of eternity if it means protecting them…” You affirmed for him, almost thinking fondly of Bakugou despite the fact that he didn’t love you. Yet here you were in Hell, and keeping this person in Hell just to protect him.

“The things I do for love.” 

--------

12 HOURS LATER...

When Shinsou and Bakugou returned to UA the following morning, they were met by an irritated and secretly worried Aizawa and a more openly worried All-Might. Neither men were happy at all that they left the school grounds in the dead of night, and Aizawa especially wasn’t happy about the fact that Shinsou managed to evade the security by brainwashing anyone who spotted them. 

“Do you have any idea what could have happened if you were caught by security?” All-Might was more gentle with the scolding, but Aizawa had to play bad-cop.

“Are you both more careless than I thought? I’m not surprised by you Bakugou, but Shinsou? I didn’t expect such rash acting on your part…” 

Shinsou almost felt like a child getting scolded by a parent, but Aizawa was a rational man, he hoped he would at least listen to him. “I saw (Y/N). She warned me in a dream.”

“What…? What did she tell you?” Aizawa cut off All-Might before he could ask anymore questions, but wouldn’t necessarily shut down Shinsou just yet.

“(L/N) doesn’t have a dream-related quirk. How could she have contacted you while you were sleeping?”

“No, but her quirk is an astral projection quirk. If she can travel on a spiritual plane then she can reach out to people on the physical realm like a ghost. I saw her, she spoke to me, it wasn’t just a dream… she told me that she was trapped where she was with the villain who was spotted on campus last week.” Shinsou explained himself and what he knew to All-Might, which of course shocked both him and the underground hero, but it didn’t lessen his anger and disappointment.

“So you just acted on your own instead of letting us or another teacher know?” 

“Neither one of you could have helped…” Bakugou was furious, but he had to speak calmly while he was in his teacher’s presence and especially All-Might, albeit just to spare getting in anymore trouble and wasting anymore time that he needed to be spending trying to wait for that idiot to hurry up so he could bring you back. 

“Young Bakugou. I was told that (Y/N) was a special friend to you and Young Midoriya. And you too Young Shinsou for that matter. I know how much you both cared about her… and as touching as your intentions were, you both still broke a number of rules.” He knew he had to be gentle about this, but both boys already began to blush.

On any other normal day, All-Might probably would have indulged in some very light and playful teasing, but knew to remain sensitive since he sensed that there was definitely some love going on between the three of them. And based on what he’s heard, it was unrequited love and complicated love. 

He gave a heavy sigh, “I suppose love makes us do crazy things…” All-Might concluded, but all he did was fluster Bakugou as he growled, “Love?! Yeah right! It’s not like that at all!” He exclaimed as he furiously blushed, as Shinsou just scoffed and averted everyone’s gaze despite his flushed cheeks giving him away.

“(Y/N)’s my friend.” He muttered, not owning up to it despite the fact that he didn’t exactly deny that he had feelings for you, but All-Might was right. Love did make people do crazy things, and Shinsou knew it.

“I understand that you both care about (L/N), but you both let your personal feelings cloud your judgment and took matters into your own hands, instead of leaving it to the pro-heroes.” As much as Aizawa understood why his two students acted on their own accord, he couldn’t let them off the hook, and he didn’t plan on it.

However, before he could have given out their punishments he was interrupted by a door opening all on it’s own, and there stood Michael, dressed sharp in a black suit and tie with dress shoes and all, smiling an enigmatic smile.

“Hello.” He bowed to them politely, and Shinsou and Bakugou instantly figured out that it was the person they called. “I was told to arrive at UA. Hard to miss with the giant letters, but I can’t call that subtle or humble.” The blonde-boy stated with an amused tone, but as far as Aizawa was concerned, this person was trespassing, and he wondered just how in the world did he get past all the security.

But Bakugou...

“So you’re the cousin?” He asked him right off the bat, already angry but that stemmed from his ever-limiting patience, “If you mean (Y/N)’s cousin then yes. Her second-cousin apparently…” Michael’s tone made it clear that this was new to him, but Bakugou could care less.

“Bring her back. Eye-Bags said you can astral project like she can.” He said, and Michael made a face, wondering how these two knew so much about him, “I can…” Michael nodded somewhat skeptically, which neither Shinsou nor Bakugou liked.

“How in the world did you get past our security?” But that’s what Aizawa was concerned about, and he would have scolded Shinsou and Bakugou for their sheer lack of judgement since neither of them had a clue just what this person could have been capable of. “I asked them politely to let me in.” Michael claimed, which wasn’t partially true, more like he used his mind control to get them to let him in… 

So, Aizawa and All-Might were suspicious and uncertain about this student, even if he was supposedly related to you, “I don’t mean no harm. I came all the way from America just to save my cousin. I’ve never met her you see… but I was excited to know that I do have extended family… especially after my first family all died…” He sounded sad when he thought about how he lost his family, but the sadness quickly turned into a smile. “So let me help you please… I promise that I can rescue (Y/N). She’s my cousin.” He used the polite tone again, a soft, silky voice that Shinsou and Aizawa weren’t find comfortable or reassuring.

Who was this guy? Why did he make them feel uneasy?

Bakugou didn’t like him at all either, but if it meant you would be back soon, then they had to just suck it up and tell this guy to fuck off afterwards.

“Yeah, yeah just hurry up and get to it already!” He demanded, not willing to wait any longer to bring you back as he ignored how some of his classmates had attempted to try and sneak in on what Aizawa was scolding their classmates about. “You’re not being sneaky…” Their teacher knew they were there though, and already had plans to punish them later in class as they each flinched before reluctantly coming out of hiding.

“Hello there. My name is Michael Langdon. I hear that you’re all classmates with my cousin (Y/N).” Michael however, was intrigued by the amount of students that were present, and he could feel their powers radiating from them. “Y-You’re (Y/N)’s cousin?!” Izuku was shocked and surprised, although he did know that you had some relatives that you weren’t close to, but he never thought he would see the day where one of them actually came down to visit.

Michael stared at Izuku, the smile almost turning into a pensive, rapt look as soon as he looked into the power he could sense that had been bestowed in this young boy, and walked closer to him, which was making Izuku rather uncomfortable and a little alarmed. “Your power is boundless…” Michael suddenly said to the boy, making him gasp a little bit, which confused the classmates in proximity, Uraraka, Iida, Aoyama, Tsuyu and Todoroki. 

“W-What do you mean…?” Izuku nervously asked, starting to wonder if that was this person’s quirk and if he should even be trusted, and Aizawa didn’t hesitate to keep a close eye on Michael in case he decided to activate his quirk. But Michael did look at Izuku right in the eye, trying to stare deeply into his soul and making him increasingly uncomfortable as he trembled a little bit. There was some sort of power in Michael too, and he hadn’t felt this way since he met All For One…

“I have a feeling we might see each other again someday…” Michael wondered outloud and blinked to break their eye contact as he gave the green-haired boy another smile that the others felt was shady, as Izuku backed away slightly and his friends didn’t hesitate to move closer to him. 

“Where did you find this guy…?” Kirishima went over to Bakugou and whispered to him, because so far this person was giving him the creeps. 

“He’s (Y/N)’s cousin, a fucking freak…” Despite his lack of patience, Bakugou managed to somewhat politely enough (at least by his standards) answer his friend. 

And once Michael was done creeping out Izuku, he walked around the dorms a little bit, scanning the halls as if he were trying to scope out what he could sense. “You guys are definitely not alone here… there’s more than one presence in this building.” He said, but just succeeded in unsettling the students.

“T-There’s a ghost in here?!” Kirishima kept his composure, but couldn’t really help but tremble slightly at the mere thought of there being something else in this building with everyone else.

“I think he meant (Y/N)…” Tsuyu clarified, despite her own uncertainty about this person and what he was claiming.

And Michael nodded at this, “That’s right. (Y/N) is in this building. Right now. But she’s not alone…” He pointed out, almost tempted to smirk when he heard a few gasps of shock from your wide-eyed classmates, “Well what are you waiting for?! Hurry the hell up and get her out!” Bakugou’s eyebrow twitched as he shouted for your damn cousin to stop with the pointless medium, Ghostbuster shit and just go and get you out.

Michael growled a little bit when he was yelled at, if you didn’t know this boy he would have destroyed his soul right on the spot. “Fine… at least where I’ll go it’ll be quieter. I’ll find her.” The young man snarked at the growling Bakugou as he got down on the floor to lie down, bringing his arms out as he recited the incantation. 

“Spiritu duce, in me est. Deduce me in tenebris vita ad extremum, ut salutaret inferi… Descensum!”

He descended fast into the netherworlds, but for him he ended up in a different place as he searched around Hell and found a door that he knew led to where you were at. 

Without hesitating, he opened the door to find himself back in the Heights Alliance, only it was darker, colder and splattered with blood as bodies littered the floors as he heard crying. Curiously, he tilted his head and moved closer to the noise.

“Don’t you dare…” You muttered as Shinigami perked up and saw an opening for him once he realized that there was somebody else with them. “NO!!” You screamed again, but it was out of frustration when the man slipped right through you and dissipated from your Hell.

“(Y/N)?” Michael looked right at your bloody face as you gasped and widened your eyes in shock and confusion, having never seen this person before, but he looked very familiar. “What the…?” However, you were still in shock because of the fear you were running on ever since you got trapped in this Hell. “Who are you…? Why do you look so familiar…?” 

Michael actually smiled and looked a little giddy, “I’m your second cousin.” He replied to you fast, and your eyes widened even more and your mouth opened in shock, but then you realized that it started to make sense given that he somehow got into this place, and you didn’t have to try and contact him. “My name is Michael Langdon. Your friends called me to help you get out of here…” He then gave you a brief explanation of how he got there, and why he was there.

“They did all that for me…?” You wondered as you couldn’t help but crack a little smile despite all the horrors you had been witnessing for God knows how long in here…

Michael gave you a nod, not entirely understanding the whole thing about love, but he just knew that they definitely did it for you. However, before he could take you back, he saw a look of fear crossing your features. “Oh no… Hitoshi, Katsuki…” You realized as you glared at the direction where Shinigami had left, “Michael… we need to stop that man… he can’t go near my friends…”

Shinigami inhaled deeply once he emerged from the walls of the hallway and stepped out of the opening from the netherworlds, but paused as soon he was greeted by the shocked looks and gasps from the students who immediately turned to see the villain in what was supposed to be a protected sanctuary for them…

“Stay back!” Aizawa acted fast as he and All-Might quickly stood in front of the students, the former activating his quirk to prevent the villain from trying to use his quirk. However, even without his quirk, Shinigami could still sense what the man feared as he chuckled darkly. “Even if you can erase my quirk… doesn’t mean you can stop me.” He said with a smirk, at least until he met the enraged eyes from Bakugou.

“Hey you bastard…” He tried to charge over to him, but Kirishima and Izuku held him back, “Let me go you idiots! I’ll kill him!” Bakugou writhed and harshly pulled away from the two even as they protested, but Aizawa held his arm out to keep him from attempting to go after the villain. “Stand aside Bakugou.”

“I suggest you listen to your teacher… all of you…” Shinigami smiled at the rest of the students, his eerie gold eyes making them all freeze, as if they were hit with a quirk that froze them, but that was just a murderous intent. Even Aizawa and All-Might felt deeply unsettled by this man, his eyes didn’t just look at them, they pierced right into their souls. “But you know … we can make a deal… if you really want your precious (Y/N) back… you can always… take her place… she’s in her Hell… I can always bring her back and instead put you in your Hell…” The man offered, grinning ear-to-ear as his voice deepened and he brought his hand out for Bakugou to take, much to his, Izuku and Kirishima’s shock and horror.

“Don’t listen to him Kacchan!” Izuku immediately stood in front of him, “Over our dead bodies!” Kirishima was right beside him, but even if they were trying to keep him away from this guy, Bakugou still felt patronized, “Don’t treat me like some damsel in distress idiots!”

Shinigami was very amused by it all though, “I didn’t say I was giving him a choice did I…?” He asked but took a step back as soon as Aizawa and All-Might prepared to go on the offensive, “None of these students are going anywhere.” Shinigami continued to back off towards the wall as soon as Aizawa started to move towards him, but before he could make the first move, the villain suddenly paused and grunted when he felt something grab him.

“What…?” He asked as soon as he saw your (S/C) hand clutching at his arm and digging your fingernails into his flesh as hard as you could, “No…” Shinigami for once looked shocked as he began grunting with strain as soon as your other hand took a hold of him and began to pull him into the wall that he started phasing into which made the teachers and students all pause as they watched in confusion and awe, “No! NOOOOOOO!! What are you doing?!” He screamed as he tried to fight against the hold, but his eyes widened as soon as he saw your (E/C) eyes as you aggressively held onto him. You would have looked at your friends, but all they could see was Shinigami being forced into the wall by some invisible force. 

“I’m not letting you take anyone else to Hell! You made me a prisoner, so now I’m making YOU a prisoner! And you can go to Hell!” You shouted and pulled him back into the netherworlds with all your might as Shinigami screamed a loud ‘NOOOOOO!!’ as soon as he faded into the wall, which did nothing to ease the shock and confusion from the others. 

“What… what just happened?!” Uraraka shouted what they were all thinking, unsure what they should do now. “If that person can travel into spiritual planes like (Y/N) can… then I think Michael might have found her…” Tsuyu began to wonder as she referred back to the unconscious young man that remained on the floor. 

This earned a gasp from both Shinsou and Bakugou, a small glimmer of hope shining in their eyes, “Then why’s he taking so damn long?! What the hell is going on wherever they’re at?”

“I think we’re going to find out soon…” Shinsou answered that question despite how uneasy he was feeling, since this was a battle nobody could see or even predict was happening…

You shouted with effort as you lunged Shinigami back into your Hell, forcing him to the ground as you panted heavily, “I ain’t All-Might… but I’ll fight you again and again if I have to…” Wiping the sweat off your forehead, you kept your narrowed eyes on the man as he growled and glared at you with a hate in his eyes you hadn’t seen before.

“You… You just might belong here with me…” He said in a deep voice as he got up with his hands out in an attempt to strangle you, but he paused and grunted as you heard a familiar ‘SLASH’ sound as your eyes traveled down to his stomach to see a bloody knife being wedged into the flesh and making the redness ooze and spill to the ground as Shinigami let out a pained, pathetic whimper.

Michael stood right behind him, holding the weapon and pulled the knife upwards to give him the finishing, fatal attack as Shinigami fell to his knees and started to choke on blood rising to his throat as he coughed out the crimson liquid.

You looked at your imprisoner with a mix of shock, horror and relief for a while until you stared up at Michael. He looked at you with a serious expression, and his eyes looked cold but you couldn’t really read the rest of what his face was saying. It was almost as if he felt nothing when he killed that man.

“T-Thanks for that…” You finally stuttered out, almost feeling nervous when Michael’s lips curved into a smile, “You’re my cousin.” He stated simply, and despite the anxiety, you were grateful that he helped you and rescued you.

“Are you going to take me back…?” You then asked, and his smile didn’t fade or change as he gave you a nod. “Wait! Y-You can’t… you can’t leave me here… no… please don’t… don’t leave me in this place…” Gasping, you backed away as soon as you saw Shinigami reaching out to you, his eyes begging you to stay or take him back with you so he wouldn’t be stuck in Hell.

But after what he did to you, and what he attempted to do to Bakugou. You didn’t plan on offering any mercy.

“Rot in Hell.” You bitterly spat at him before you brought your hand out for Michael to take as he led you out of this place as Shinigami screamed for you to come back, begging for you or someone, anyone to kill him. 

However, Hell didn’t offer any mercy to the suffering, and Michael would make sure of that for him.

Michael awoke with a heavy gasp as his eyes opened and he sat up with wide eyes of shock as he met the suspicious and dubious looks of your classmates. Izuku and Uraraka looked concerned for the man, but Bakugou couldn’t care less. All that mattered is that you weren’t there with Michael.

“Well? Where’s (Y/N)?” Bakugou immediately asked, growling and already getting pissed when he didn’t see you come back. Even though this person said he would bring you back.

“I found her…” He said calmly, but he didn’t know who he was talking to, “Then why isn’t she here?!” He grabbed the taller man by the neck of his suit, ignoring the look of fear in his eyes. 

“You said you’d bring her back and she’s not here! Dammit!! I don’t care if you get stuck in Hell, you go back and get her out of there!!” Furious tears pricked his eyes as he looked ready to blast him when he held his palm out towards the other blonde but paused as soon as he saw a cloud of dust suddenly taking a shape. And piece by piece the ashes formed and reshaped into your (B/T) figure until you were whole oncemore as your classmates each gasped as soon as they saw you again in the flesh, lying unconscious on the floor in front of them.

And Bakugou shakily gasped in shock the second he saw your body, a sense of relief, joy and adoration overwhelming him as he nearly crumbled on the spot.

“(Y/N)…” Shinsou’s eyes widened, and he gasped a little bit when he realized that you were back, or at least he desperately hoped that you were back as he quickly went over to you. Or at least he tried to, but Bakugou moved faster than he did.

“(Y/N)!” Izuku immediately teared up as soon as he saw you, but before he could even attempt to go over to you, Bakugou pushed him aside and quickly went over to you and came down to his knees, placing a trembling hand over your cheek. It was warm, thankfully as Bakugou stared at you, a rare shimmer of worry flashing in his glossy, red eyes as he held your face gently.

“(Y/N)… (Y/N)… you’d better be back now you idiot… dammit just wake up already… wake up… you’d better be back or else I’ll find someway to go to Hell and drag your ass out of there myself… just… wake up…” He quietly said to you, forcing back the tears even though they betrayed him and snuck out and dripped onto your forehead.

As you lied, a puff of consciousness slowly awoke you slowly came to, but the little drop of wetness made you cringe slightly as you stirred. You heard a gasp as your eyes slowly fluttered open, and you nearly flinched once you felt warm palms touching your cheeks and your shoulders and you focused your vision to see Bakugou looking right at you with wide eyes that held a mix of emotions you had never seen in him before.

“Katsuki…?” 

Your own eyes slowly widened, and you couldn’t fight the smile rising on your lips when you saw that this Bakugou appeared to be uninjured and well, albeit you wondered what could have possibly made him of all people, cry. 

Was he really crying? You slowly sat up where you lied, wanting to hug him even more now, but you weren’t sure if this was just another vision to torment you or if this really was your Bakugou…

“A-Am I…? Am I really…? Is this… this isn’t Hell…?” You had to ask, your tone becoming gradually excited as you took in the rest of your surroundings. There was light again, no blood or foreboding sense of death anywhere. However, before you could ask anything else, Bakugou suddenly threw his arms around you and held you in the tightest hug you had ever felt.

And you grunted lightly from the tightness and felt surprise and joy heating your face, but you almost jumped in shock when you actually felt his tears wetting your shoulder. This was your Bakugou all right. However, it hit you when you realized that this was the first time in a very long time that you and Bakugou have actually hugged, so you happily hugged him back with tears beginning to form in your eyes.  

“Hey Katsuki.” You greeted him softly as you savored everything you felt from him because you weren’t sure you would get another one of these hugs for a while. You took it all in, how warm his arms felt around you, how soft his hair felt and how you felt like you could stay in this forever…

Minus the BO…

“You could really use a shower…” You whispered to him, and right on cue he growled and deliberately tightened his hold on you as you grunted in pain, “You shut your mouth, shithead!” He shouted as you coughed a little bit, “Agh! Nevermind… sorry…” Your voice was more strained, but at least he didn’t pull away or blow you up.

Although, he did eventually pull away just to glare at you despite the tears in his eyes, “You… idiot! You scared the shit out of everyone for a whole damn week, are you happy?!” He sounded and looked angry, and he was a little bit, but he actually looked more worried and scared than anything. You could tell too, which is why you couldn’t stop smiling. 

“Hehe… I’m sorry… I didn’t expect… that to… happen…” However, when you apologized, your smile slowly turned into a frown as you shook unpleasantly when all the horrors you saw came back to you. And Bakugou could tell as he pulled you in for yet another hug, “Well whatever… all that matters is that you’re back…” He muttered lowly as he started to blush but hid it from you and the rest of his classmates.

“Yeah… I missed you SO much… the real you… I saw another version of you in my Hell… but it wasn’t you… that wasn’t my Katsuki.” Despite all the terror that you weren’t going to get over for a while, Bakugou’s hug was enough to bring you comfort as you hugged him tightly and he blushed even harder. He wasn’t going to pull away though, while he knew he was a jerk by nature, he wasn’t going to treat you the way he did before all of this.

“There’s only one of me.” He said somewhat cockily with a small smirk, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you slowly pulled away, “Nah… and I knew that…” You smiled wide, ecstatic to finally be back to the physical plane, but your eyes widened when you finally saw the rest of your classmates. 

It annoyed Bakugou, but he moved away reluctantly just to let you reunite with the rest of his classmates. 

“Izuku!” You saw your teary-eyed childhood friend, and the first thing you both did was rush over to hug each other tightly. “(Y/N)!” Izuku cried as he actually hugged you, his shyness and nerves that came with being touched forgotten as both yours and his tears streamed down your faces. “Oh Izuku it’s you… you’re okay… oh thank God you’re okay…” He smelt a lot better than Bakugou, and he was in one piece and not bloody. 

“I-I missed you… I missed you so much you have no idea… I-I’m so glad you’re okay…” He sniffled as he held you, beyond happy that you really were here. He knew how your hugs felt, and this was proof that this was the real you. “I’m here Izuku… I’m okay… I’m not going anywhere for a long time… I promise.” You said softly before you placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, earning a surprised little squeak of embarrassment from your friend as his whole face turned red. This did not go unnoticed by Bakugou or Shinsou…

It took all of Bakugou’s willpower to not blast Deku right then and there, whilst Shinsou just leered at the green-haired boy, who was still blushing heavily even as you pulled away and patted him gently on the head with a sweet smile before you greeted the rest of your friends.

“Uraraka… Tsuyu! Aoyama, Iida, Todoroki…” You headed for the Dekusquad, each of them looking at you with wide eyes to see you in the flesh after a week of your supposed death.

Uraraka, Tsuyu, Aoyama and Iida’s eyes each welled with tears as they stared at you in awe before they each burst into somewhat dramatic tears, “(Y/N)!!” The group suddenly brought you into a group hug, it felt tight as hell, but you didn’t care as you made sure to hold your arms out to hug each and every one of them. 

“We missed you!”

“Oh (Y/N)!”

“Ribbit! It felt so wrong without you!”

“I cannot even begin to describe how saddened and miserable we were without you!”

They each exclaimed while they hugged you tightly, and you chuckled a little bit between your tears, “Guys… oh God I missed you all so much you won’t even…” You wanted to speak more, but you were surprised to see even Todoroki with what looked like misty tears in his eyes as he smiled at you with a relieved expression. And Uraraka, Tsuyu, Aoyama and Iida pulled away briefly to let you hug the heterochromatic boy.

“Todoroki~! Did you miss me?” You had to ask, feeling rather surprised when Todoroki actually hugged you and put his arms around you, “Of course. You are my friend. I was afraid that we lost you, I was afraid that I lost you.” He admitted softly, and you smiled and blushed a little bit, almost feeling honored that Todoroki Shouto thought of YOU as a friend, much to Bakugou’s immense annoyance.

“Aww… like I said… I ain’t goin’ nowhere for a while.” You said somewhat cheerfully as you pulled away, but you screamed as soon as you felt someone pick you up and carry you into a very tight hug.

“(Y/N)!!” It was Kirishima, and he was openly crying as carried you, “You’re okay! Oh Thank God you’re okay! I missed you like crazy, I’m not even kidding!!” He cried as you giggled and happily hugged him, “Oh Kiri… God I missed you too… it truly was Hell because I saw something that wasn’t you…” You almost tearfully said as he gently put you down, but didn’t stop hugging you. 

“Man… I missed you but I won’t hog you, c’mon guys!” He called the rest of the Bakusquad as Kaminari, Mina, Sero and Jiro each rushed in to give you a warm group hug, “(Y/N)!!”

“(Y/N)! Oh Thank God you’re okay!!”

“You’re really back!! You’re back, you’re back!!”

“Are you okay?!” 

“(Y/N)… t-thank God…”

This was probably the most hugs you’ve ever received in your life, but you didn’t hate it at all, it just made you hug them even tighter, “I’m okay Hanta… and I’m so glad you all are too… I missed you guys…” You said with a somewhat giggly tone, but prepared yourself for the rest of the hugs you would be getting.

“I’ll hug you more later… but the others missed you too…” Kaminari chuckled as his friends slowly let you go to hug the rest of Class 1-A. Except Mineta… 

You had enough hell for one lifetime. 

Hugging everyone felt great, even if they weren’t your classmates from the General Studies, you became close with them and missed them all so much as you embraced every one of them, even if some of them weren’t known for being huggers, but you wouldn’t let them NOT hug you after being gone for too long and presumed dead.

But once you were done hugging them, “Hitoshi…” You stopped for a moment, finally seeing Shinsou who was looking at you with a hint of shyness and mostly relief in his expression. And you couldn’t help the tears cascading down your face as you ran right into him and threw your arms around him and hugged him so tightly as you cried. Shinsou held back the tears burning in his eyes as he slowly but tightly hugged you back. “Oh Hitoshi… you got the message…”

“Y-Yeah… it was hard to ignore… especially when I tried to get some sleep…” You tried not to laugh at this but you couldn’t help it, “I’m sorry… but I had to tell someone… and you were the only one half-asleep and half-awake enough for me to contact…”You smiled fondly, amazed but relieved that Shinsou managed to get your message and more or less was the reason you got out of Hell. “I’m never forgetting this you know? Thank you… I owe you my life.” Pulling away for a bit, you gave your friend a touched smile as he willed himself to not blush, but he was very happy. Happy that you were back, happy that he was able to help you come back, and happy that he did what he always wanted to do. Be a hero for people. 

“You’re welcome.” Shinsou said softly, giving you a small smile, “But give yourself credit too. You kept that creep at bay just so nobody else would get trapped too… you proved what you wanted to… you really aren’t weak. I knew you weren’t.” He said, kind of praising you a little bit as you couldn’t help but blush, grinning a bit as you hugged him again, which he shyly returned. “Hee… thank you~.” 

Bakugou heard what Eye-Bags said though, and the guilt came back as his jealously fueled him to march over to you and the purple-haired teen. Thinking he hugged you long enough, “Hey, (Y/N).” Your eyes widened ever so slightly, it’s been a long time since Bakugou’s called you by your real name instead of ‘Shitty Girl’, ‘Shithead’ or ‘Idiot/Dumbass’. And when you looked over at your childhood friend he looked so calm it almost startled you, but you could see in his eyes that there was something on his mind.

“Katsuki?” You would have teased him, but you held your tongue as soon as he somewhat awkwardly started talking. “You… You’re not weak…” He muttered, obviously having a hard time admitting that he was wrong, but he was owning up to it at least. After all of this, and the fact that were pretty much fighting and suffering in Hell the entire time he thought you were dead made him see you in a whole new light. Especially after he himself just spent that week missing and moping over you and regretting how much of a shitty friend he had been to you.

“You fought back… I don’t want to imagine just what the hell that bastard put you through in those netherworlds or whatever but… you fought back. You’re not useless or pathetic…” He hated the heat creeping on his cheeks when he said it, but it was the truth. It was bad when he was kidnapped by the League of Villains, but he couldn’t imagine how he would have been in Hell…  

You weren’t weak. And part of you knew that, but you still smiled at your friend, stepping over to him fast as you practically jumped into his arms to hug him and you were admittedly shocked when he actually didn’t fight and hugged you back. “Told ya…” You chuckled a bit, and for once Bakugou was amused as you heard a small little snort from him.

You remembered what you said when you couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when you came back, and you meant it. Seeing Bakugou like that reminded you that he was a good guy despite his attitude. You knew he loved you.

“I fucking missed you…” He whispered into your ear, his arms tightening around you and taking everything in. Your smell, your soft (S/C) skin and arms, everything, just to make sure this really was you and he wasn’t dreaming. And the little giggle he felt from you was proof enough for him that you were all back in one piece. “And I missed you too Katsuki. I missed you so much.” You said that already, but you really did miss him. The real Katsuki you knew and loved. 

“But if you tell anyone else that I’ll kick your ass.” Bakugou made sure however, to threaten you so you don’t ever tell anyone just how bad he missed you, even if everyone else could see it, and you nervously smiled, “Hee~. Oh I won’t… I promise ya that…” You happily said, and hummed in content as you nuzzled the annoyed, blushing boy. He was such a tsundere you adored it.

But good things didn’t always last.

“Where’s the villain?” Aizawa asked as soon as it seemed like most of the reunions were over and done with. You couldn’t help but smile, “Rotting in Hell, sir.” You replied simply, much to the shock of your friends and classmates.

“What exactly do you mean by that Young (Y/N)?” All-Might politely and gently asked you, and Michael answered that for you. “That person had the power to manipulate and imprison people in Hell, or rather a version of Hell suited for the people he traps. But at a cost… (Y/ N) was aware that she was trapped in her Hell, and so it took away some of the power he had against her. She suffered, but she knew it was all a vision, which limited the hold he had on her, and therefore she gained a hold on him. The whole week she was trapped, so was he. As soon as I got in, he found a way out… til she dragged him back with her… and then I…” He explained and casually brought out a bloody dagger, which alarmed your classmates as they shouted a bit and backed away. 

“Finished the job. You won’t have to worry about him anymore… I’ll make sure of that.” Michael politely reassured the two pro-heroes, even if his smile just made them unsettled.

But to pretend that they weren’t uncomfortable, they thanked him for his services, “Thank you Young Langdon. Thank you for rescuing our young student here… we certainly owe you in the future.” All-Might thanked the young man, whose smile became a bit brighter.

“There’s no need. Although… I do look forward to seeing all of you again in the future.” He said sweetly, even if he could tell that he was just making them all nervous, but he sensed the gratefulness. “(Y/N). I was happy to meet you, and I hope we see each other again sometime soon.” Your second-cousin said, as you smiled a little bit. Michael did help you out, and you felt a lot of gratitude towards him, warts and all.

“Me too. Thank you again Michael… see you around.” You waved to him, but Bakugou just glared at him. Even if he was happy that you were back, he didn’t like Michael at all. There was something off about him.

However, Michael politely waved to you and took his leave, making the door close behind him with his powers as the entire hallway was silent for a moment. They weren’t really going to miss him.

But you had enough silence after spending a week in Hell, so you clapped your hands, “Well! I know what to do now! All-Might! Mr. Aizawa! You can tell everyone I’m not dead! I’m gonna tell my parents I’m not dead, and everyone… Friends Marathon tonight! With lots of ice cream!” You suddenly and loudly announced for everyone, much to their confusion and amusement. However, after spending a week without you and thinking that they had lost you, nobody turned that down.

“That sounds awesome!”

“Yes! I’m down for watching Friends! I love that show!”

Uraraka and Kirishima sounded the most enthusiastic, but you could see that the rest of your classmates weren’t complaining, and some seemed a bit happier than the others, the stoic ones didn’t show it, but they liked the sound of your idea. Izuku especially, this just meant that you were here to stay.

Bakugou grunted in annoyance, but he was never going to turn down another one of your offers ever again. As much as he hated the thought, this whole ordeal just made him realize that he didn’t know what could happen, and he had so much regrets during the time where he seriously thought you died. It honestly scared him, and he didn’t want to ever treat you like that ever again.

“You and that damn show…” He muttered, letting out an irritated sigh, “Fine… I’ll watch a stupid Friends marathon with you (Y/N)…” Bakugou almost sounded reluctant, but it’s been too long since he actually spent time with you, and he was going to spend a lot more time with you after realizing what an ass he’d been to you. He almost didn’t care that he was going to get that stupid song stuck in his head for a month.

The minute he agreed, you swore that you must have gone to your personal Heaven now, it’s been so long since Katsuki actually said ‘yes’ to spending time with you that you were ecstatic. A bit too ecstatic.

“AHHHHHHH~!!” You screamed a little bit too loud, and Bakugou (of all people) cringed at the sheer volume as he growled at you. “YAY~!! This is the best day of my life!!” You shouted, jumping up and down cheerfully, which Shinsou, and secretly Bakugou found endearing. Annoying, but endearing.

Unfortunately…

“(L/N). You used your quirk to find a suspect who ended up being a villain… without permission and you put yourself in grave danger.” Aizawa just had to ruin the mood by pointing out the fact that you broke a rule, but you weren’t the only one who broke some rules, “Shinsou. Bakugou. You also went against rules by leaving the school, evading security and contacting someone without using proper judgment. Even if (L/N) has returned and is well, don’t think this means either of you are off the hook.” He was ready to give each of you punishment, which Shinsou and Bakugou had been dreading. Even though you weren’t his student, he still had the authority to tell your teacher in the General Studies to punish you.

“Mr. Aizawa… with all due respect sir… I literally JUST came back from Hell, I suffered… there was no food, no sense of time, and I watched all of my friends die in horrible ways repeatedly on an endless loop… kinda cold-hearted to be giving out punishments after all that… just saying.” You had to point all of that out, trying to sound as polite as possible, albeit also trying to guilt-trip the teacher a little bit even if it meant using the new ‘Hell card’. And you just succeeded in irritating the teacher, but thankfully All-Might stepped in before he could dish out a punishment.

“Mr. Aizawa… Young (L/N) did break the rules… but, I’m sure she has suffered enough. And the same goes for Young Bakugou and Young Shinsou here, and the rest of your students. They’ve each been spending the week grieving over their friend… while I don’t condone what these three did, they did stop a villain, and go beyond to rescue a friend… Surely, you can find it in your heart to spare them punishment just this once.” All-Might tried to reason with his colleague, and despite Aizawa’s annoyance and unwillingness to yield, he gave an annoyed sigh.

He knew he shouldn’t have, but for some reason he probably he would have felt guilty about it later given everything you’ve been through.

Aizawa would have shown his annoyance, but he was too tired to really care anymore to think of a punshiment, “Just this once…” He repeated All-Might’s words, and you promptly jumped up again with a triumphant cheer, “YES!! This really is the best day of my life!!” You shouted once again, and you heard Aizawa mutter something under his breath about needing a nap.

While Shinsou and Bakugou were partially relieved that they wouldn’t be punished for all of this, but they each made a noise of mild shock when you practically lunged yourself into them into a very tight hug, but they sneered at each other when they were forced so close together.  

“We’re off the hook~! Now we can watch Friends! With cookie dough ice cream~.” You sang and grabbed your friends by the arms to try and drag them with you to the second floor where the best TV was at. 

“C’mon ya’ll, it’s happening now!” You called the rest of your amused classmates, and you heard many of them talking and making noises of agreement as they did follow you. And as you walked you were cheerfully oblivious to the intense glare-down between Bakugou and Shinsou since you had them so close together with you in between them.

“Oh by the way Katsuki… Happy Birthday.” You remembered as you smiled and blushed at your childhood friend, earning a look of surprise from the ash-blonde until it hit him. His birthday passed a couple of days ago. He was aware of it, but he cancelled any plans that he or his friends might have made because he was mourning you.

Yet, the fact that you remembered that actually made him smile at you in amusement, “You seriously remembered even though you had worse shit going on?”

“Of course! I wasn’t sure how long I had been in there but I knew it had to have been a long time… and all I could think was ‘Well this is just fucking great, first I get stuck in Hell and now I have to miss Katsuki’s birthday’.” You said, and Bakugou almost laughed. Wow, he really missed your dumb sense of humor and weirdness. “Idiot…”

But, he remembered something else, “A deal’s a deal… you came back after all… so… I’ll take you to see that movie you want to see so badly…” He brought out the tickets that he had kept in his pockets, in hopes that Michael would be able to bring you back. His wish thankfully came true, and despite what he said last week, he would fulfill that ‘bet’ you made and take you out to see the new Avengers.

Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped, and you looked at Shinsou for a split second, and wondered if you heard right, ignoring Bakugou’s increasing annoyance as you grinned wide, barely suppressing a squeal as you inhaled deeply before the explosive teen put a finger to your lips. “But if you scream again, I’m not taking you.” He knew you were going to scream, and he wasn’t having that. So all you could do is pout, before smirking.

“We’re gonna see the Avengers~.” Instead, you settled for singing despite the little skip in your step and the hint of sadness in Shinsou’s eyes as he looked at you. But, he still smiled. He was happy for you, and happy that he had you back. Although, he didn’t plan on losing to Bakugou just yet.

And somehow Bakugou knew that based on the look of determination on Eye-Bag’s face as he gave a low growl even as you more or less brought them down on the couch once you reached the second floor and turned on the TV first thing. You hummed cheerfully as you sat down to put on Friends while Bakugou and Shinsou just exchanged glares and stink-faces.

“Hey Hitoshi… thanks for watching Friends with me… I know that you’re not a fan of being around a lot of people… but thanks for doing that with me… thanks for being there for me.” You thanked Shinsou, not just for this but for always actually spending some time with you. Shinsou was surprised as he rubbed the back of his neck, something he did often when he felt nervous. “It’s no problem…” He said quietly, but gave you a small smile that he reserved for you as you grinned and you hugged his arm, and now he was starting to hate his pale skin as he felt his face redden, even when you pulled away he was still blushing, much to Bakugou’s extreme annoyance.

“And Katsuki… I know you’re not gonna care for this, but thanks for agreeing to watch Friends with me…” You suddenly said, sounding a little bit shy when you did. And Bakugou hated the blush heating his face as he scoffed, not one for mushy-gushy crap. “Tch… whatever Shitty Girl… you were in Hell… it’s the least I could do…” He grumbled, and blushed even harder when it was his turn to be hugged, but you really surprised him when you kissed him on the cheek, and his face turned even redder than Kirishima’s hair.

“W-What the fuck was that for?!” Of course he shouted at you, feeling extremely flustered as you started to blush quite madly yourself as you covered your mouth with your hands to quell your laughter, “I just sorta felt like it…” You shrugged as your laughs drowned out Bakugou’s screaming towards you, which you ignored and laughed off while you turned on the first episode of Friends.

As flustered as he was, Bakugou found himself feeling somewhat proud and gave Shinsou a shit-eating grin as soon as he saw indignance in the taller boy’s eyes since he got a kiss, while the latter got a hug. If there was one thing they had in common, it was their love for you.

You couldn’t be more oblivious as you just turned on the show and grinned when the rest of your friends showed up. This must have been heaven, because you were right beside your two favorite guys, Bakugou and Shinsou.

Bakugou wouldn’t tell you just yet, but after everything that’s happened, he was going to be there for you more, because you were always there for him too. 

[danetobelieve]

Genesis (Flashback) || Lucas and Winston

Flashback ~3 years

Lucas was desperate. It burned under his skin to the point he had a fever right now and was feeling sick. Lucas had finally recovered from his injuries a few months ago and eventually left his bed a handful of weeks ago. Emotionally, mentally-- he was still exhausted. Two days ago, he had seen the posters and heard on the news that he had been listed as missing. Miles wouldn’t stop looking for him, he knew it, and Lucas battled not crawling home and just grabbing him-- begging to not let that happen again. But he wouldn’t. The house was familiar. Even the scent of the small gardens, and the aged scents of people passing by had his chest clench. This had to be a bad idea. Could his old friends be trusted not to tell Miles or the police? Wiping his forehead, wincing when his hand rubbed the scar on the right side, he walked around back. Taking pathways, he could find blindfolded and peered around the corner of the building. He didn’t hear anyone right away, but as he patiently listened, someone was home. Wanting some anonymity in case they yelled, he knocked on the back door with a few raps of his knuckle. 

College was over for a bit, Winston’s parents and siblings were attending an atrocious family party in florida for a great aunt that Winston had managed to avoid by virtue of the fact that it was supposed to be finals week. So they had the run of the place, they had been enjoying their new found freedom away from the college dorms. It was nice to really have some privacy and they had even thrown a house party. They had just been in the process of cleaning the remnants of the mess from their kitchen when they heard a knock on their parents back door. Heading back, they moved outside and saw a face that they immediately recognised. An old family friend, which meant that they had been over to the Dane house for dinner enough times with one of their siblings. “Uh …..” they were pretty sure that this guy was missing, and for some reason here they were, “ … can … can ... can I help you?” If they wanted to work for the police then this was the sort of thing that they were going to have to get used to, right?

Fuck me. Wrong one. “Hey,” Lucas scratched his arm, staying in the shadows, probably looking shady wearing a hoodie pulled up when it was nice outside.. A thousand things flew through his mind after he muttered the one word, and the instinct to flat out run was powerful enough to thicken thin hair on the edge of his knuckles. “Sorry to bother you, Winston.” Lucas peered around the yard, seeing old memories overlay the grass. Laughter echoed, and he sighed. His gaze drew back to the Winston. The scent alone of someone he knew was comforting; humans always had this rich mixture of their day lingering on their persons. What they ate, if they sprayed a fragrance, or if their laundry detergent contained a unique scent-- but also, just uniquely them. How did a wolf explained how impactful such a thing was? To immediately comfort him without having to do anything? “You’ve always been pretty bright, I’m sure-- you have seen the news. May I come in. I-- really need some advice.”

“Hey … Lucas,” Winston was sure that there was a manhunt going on, “it’s cool. You’re not … bothering me.” Not entirely true but whatever. Winston had watched their father and their older brothers Nathaniel and Theodore join the search for Lucas. They’d helped a little but they were busy with college and their parents were adamant that they keep their involvement at a minimum. But despite that they had always liked Lucas. They’d been friends with their brother Nathan throughout his childhood and growing up Lucas had always been decent to Winston, not like all of their siblings friends. “Yeah … uh … you can defo come in and I can make you a drink or some food if you need it, Nate, he isn’t here right now. Everyone’s kind of out of state and I don’t know when they’ll all come back…” they weren’t sure whether they should be calling the cops, “but … come in and uh … we can make you some food and I’ll see about the advice.” 

A deep inhale filled Luke’s entire chest cavity, and he held it while Winston spoke. Maybe there was a little faith in them, that they wouldn’t exclaim loudly and give Lucas a moment to explain. “Thanks,” he moved around the back, peering around a few times, pausing on the threshold to listen as far as he could just in case he had been followed-- or someone was lurking around. Not feeling completely safe, he walked through the door seeing the lingering mess of a party that brought a soft huff in amusement to it. How wonderful-- all college students should relish those moments. “I, I’m actually glad you are the one here, you always have made me feel--” Lucas didn’t finish the sentence, and began to close the blinds without thinking twice about it appearing weird. “I’m, probably going a little crazy--” he muttered loud enough to hear, before sitting down, running his hands through his short hair to scratch his scalp to pull his hood back to better reveal his face. “I’m-- fuck, I’m really scared. Now I came here, and what if something happens to you-- I should go.” 

Whatever the hell was going on here, one thing was very clear to Winston and that was that this guy was really really really scared. Lucas didn’t exactly look great either. Like they had been living in hiding for a while. It looked as if they hadn’t seen the sun in a while and they looked thin and gaunt compared to what Winston would’ve normally recognised. “Uh, it’s cool don’t worry about it.” They glanced around their back garden and nodded to themselves when they were confident that there was no one out there and there was no one watching them. They didn’t know why they felt the need to check that, but here they were anyway. Lucas started speaking and Winston could see that they clearly in some shit. They wished that their dad was here. He would know exactly what to do. “Listen, calm down,” they pulled a glass down and filled it with water before handing it over to Lucas, “drink that and take a few deep breaths.” They paused before continuing. “Whatever is going on, well we can help, you know my dad’s a cop, we’re safe here. It’s a good neighbourhood and everyone around here knows my family, besides there’s a shotgun hidden in the house and a few other guns that my parents have collected over the years. We can take care of ourselves. Just calm down, what’s going on…?” Winston was nervous, they weren’t really well equipped to be dealing with this and it felt somewhat surreal telling someone their senior that they needed to calm down. 

A distorted laugh broke past Lucas’ lips. It curled his spine forward, and he chuckled darkly to himself as this human could have so much protection. Did any of that really matter to what was actually out there-- he was so stupid for coming here. Thinking the cops could help? What if the cops were the very people who figured him out? Who thought he was living too normal a life with the rest of humanity and deserved a permanent rest? He reached out, patting Winston’s forearm when they brought over the glass, and then gripped it slightly.  “I actually don’t think you can help me,” he chuckled again, not sure why he felt the need to laugh when the tears caught in his eyes were fine to remain there over falling. “Sit, what’s after me can’t be stopped by your dad. I can’t explain it well--” His head ached suddenly, and he leaned forward to lay his head down on the table, folded in his arms. “I don’t know how to explain it to you without scaring you-- I came, cause I just wanted to see someone, anyone really. Maybe- to say goodbye so at least one person heard it.”  

Frowning, Winston shook their head gently. They reached up and fiddled with their glasses, adjusting them left to right before sliding them back into their original position. Perhaps an all in all unnecessary habbit. Swallowing, they felt the grip on their forearm and wondered if they had made a mistake here. Lucas was obviously in trouble, but Winston wasn’t sure that there was anything that they could do. They wished that an actual responsible adult was here. Turning, they walked away from Lucas, pulled down a second glass, filled it partially with vodka they had left over and passed it back to him. “I think you probably need something stronger then water,” they said quietly before taking a moment to think, “I don’t know any of what has happened, but you look scared. For now, nobody has worked out where you are. I can try and help you find somewhere to lay low for a bit and then when my parents are back we can take you to the police.” They paused for a second and shrugged. “You might as well explain it because I’m scared as shit right now.” 

Lucas could hear that he was freaking Winston out and he felt terrible about that. “Sorry-- I’m sorry--” The smell of vodka took over the shared space between them, and though he took it, Luke didn’t drink it. Swirling it around before setting it on the table. Hearing that people were still looking for him made him grateful for those people, but he also wished they would stop. At least he’s done a good job so far, of course hiding in a basement for a year while he healed up wouldn’t provide any results. “I can’t be alive right now,” oof, he winced at the words, biting his tongue. “I know it feels easy to go to the police, and I wish it could be-- and I’m laughing cause I came here because it was exactly what I thought I needed. The fact everyone is gone-- including your dad? What are the chances? I finally get the bravery after a year, and then they’re not here?” He shook his head. “A group of people are really after me.” His hands trembled a little and swallowed hard, “they, won’t stop until I’m dead for real this time.” 

Pausing, Winston considered the situation that they found themselves in. As Lucas finished their story, they took the bottle of vodka and filled themselves a glass. Unlike Luke they swallowed their vodka, most of it in one go. The bitter burn of the alcohol trickling down their throat brought Winston back to their senses and they found themselves realising that they were probably in too deep. They would’ve assumed that this was just another prank if they hadn’t seen the news and been a part of the search. “Stop apologising,” Winston said quietly, “I’m trying to think.” They didn’t see any other option other then calling the police. “Look, I know you’re scared, I don’t understand what happened to make you think that this is some way of the universe telling you that there is some reason for you to not be involved with us or get help, but the police are the only people who are going to be able to help you with this. Fuck maybe the police aren’t enough, ah fuck this is serious, fuck fuck fuck…” they weren’t sure that they were the person who should be helping, but here they were. “You need to call the cops dude,” they said passing them their phone. 

Lucas couldn’t help but apologize over and over because this wasn’t a burden someone young like Winston should be dealing with-- dammit, he wishes Nathaniel had been home. Guilt started to ache and throb in his throat. His eyes glanced down at the phone, and rose up from the chair. A meaty growl rumbled low in his rib cage, a thunderous sound that vibrated through his chest cavity like a damn storm. His hands clenched, before releasing. Hearing Winston repeat themselves, and just seeing how freaked out they were. Lucas realized how stupid he was involving other people he knows. Because he’s surrounded himself with humans who didn’t really know anything about him. How could he explain properly? Go into detail what he was, and what that actually means about the world? He gritted his teeth, a faint snarl to his lip as he turned away. “I don’t know if the people who want me are in the police too. I don’t know who they were Winston-- they shot me up and put me in the ground.” He didn’t raise his voice at all, seeming like he was making up his mind. “I have their attention, maybe, I can convince them I’m leaving town. Your good with the internet right Winston? Maybe you can help me leave a fake trail?”

Shaking their head, Winston sighed. “Look, just because there might be elements of the police that are involved, and that is a very big might, because there’s never been any clear evidence of anything then the occasional bout of incompetence from some of the older members of the force, but you have no idea that they are in the police.” The mention of getting shot up made Winston want to ask them to leave, but they remembered every time Lucas had ate dinner with them or stayed over or come to a cook out or any of the other things they’d done and Winston knew that they couldn’t condemn them. “Sure, you have their attention, you could try and convince them that you’re leaving, I can photoshop you into landmarks and raise anonymous alarms mentioning sightings of you. But have you not considered how cruel that is. Nathaniel and your family, they’ll take this as evidence you’re not here anymore and they’ll go after you. You could just go to the authorities instead, they could put you in witness protection until all of this blows over and everything gets better.”

It was cruel, and Lucas would pay for it every day in misery. He knew Nathaniel and Miles would travel out and hunt those leads and he knew that might actually be the best way to go about it. If everyone appeared like they didn't know where he was-- the hunters won't suspect them hiding him. They will leave them alone. He needed to hide for real. To disappear, go missing-- stay dead. Until everything gets better. Lucas’ heart swelled for Winston, and this part of them was why they were one of his favorite people in town. Maybe it would one day. Lucas got on his knees, throwing every ounce of pride away and letting it all wash over him as he kneeled in front of Winston. "I'm begging you. It won’t happen any other way. I'll do anything to lead them away from this town. Away from my brother-- my family, now you. I'll stay in town and just wait a few years, hide, just-- stay out of sight. I'll tell the police when I can, I swear. Please-- please... I don't want anyone else to know. I don’t want to actually have to run away. Please--" 

Winston frowned. They had never been a position like this. Seeing someone that much older then them. Someone that they’d known growing up. Nathaniel was a few years older then them and he and his friends had always been cooler then Winston would’ve ever hoped to achieve in social status. It never bothered them but there was a schoolboy awe to it. Now seeing them prostrated in front of them asking for help and Winston wondered how they could possibly deny aid from their friend. Nathaniel and Miles would certainly not understand. Winston didn’t know Miles well at all, just via association, but they were sure that they would want them to do everything that they could to help Lucas. “I can do it, but only if you’re sure that this is the only way, and I don’t mean like you are tonight, no one is going to be back until the weekend and I don’t think you were followed. It’s thursday now, if you’re sure about this, I’ll do it tomorrow night.” They couldn’t believe that they were agreeing to this. In the moment it seemed beyond ludicrous. “I just, you have to be sure, because there are so many ways we could try and help, but I can’t force you to go to the police even if I wanted to and I don’t want to make things worse.” 

Lucas wasn’t listening or realizing this was a bad idea, and instead felt ready to try to implement it. He was a bit delirious right now. Having been bound to a bed and basement for the last year, has made him a little out of sorts rationally. However, he finally had some kind of plan which was more than he had all year. Lucas wasn’t going to change his mind, and he sighed in relief, the weight on his shoulders pulled off a little bit. “I don’t have a phone-- I’ll get a note to you with the answer,” he stood up, clenching his hands. “I-- thank you. I didn’t mean to put this on you, if you want out-- to just forget about this and not be involved, you tell me too okay? I don’t want you to feel bad or guilty-- I don’t want that.” Lucas didn’t have any idea how this would play out. All he knew was that if it went south the two paths were death or being chased. He was a werewolf, he understood a hunt better than most species. He’s felt the burn of it, the excitement, and the satisfaction of a kill. Lucas didn’t want to be on the run forever, and he didn’t want to drag his family into running too. “Okay,” he pulled up his hood, tucking his hands into his pocket and walked towards the back door. “I’ll get you something to repay you, even if you say no-- I’ll figure something out. I really owe you--” Lucas turned around, offering a sad sorta smile. “Bye Winston.” And left. 

[sellmedoves]

my college experience

College. I started college in 2016. I was excited that whole summer because I got to have a fresh start and leave high school behind me. I moved into a dorm with 3 girls I didn’t know. I chose to live with random girls that year because I wanted to meet new people. I rushed a sorority at the beginning of the school year, and I met a lot of fun and kind people throughout that week. I got into a seemingly great sorority at the end of rush week and then class began the following week. I really liked my schedule; I didn’t have any 8am classes and I didn’t have any classes at all on Friday’s. It felt like I was finally moving on and starting a new, positive chapter of my life. There was always something in the back of my mind that I felt like was holding me back, though…

I was extremely homesick. My school was only about 30 minutes away from my hometown, but I’m so close to my family, especially my mom, so it was hard for me. I have 3 half siblings, but I grew up as an only child, so it was a difficult transition from always having privacy and my own space to having to share my space with 3 other girls, random girls at that. They were sweet and I actually feel lucky that I got paired with normal people, but it was still hard regardless. I began coming home on weekends and then going back to my dorm during the week. As the first semester went on, I began to isolate myself more and I didn’t have as much ambition and excitement as I used to. By the time I came back from Christmas break and started the second semester, I lost touch with most of the friends that I made, and I felt as if I was the loneliest person in the world. I ended up leaving my sorority right before spring break, isolating myself even further.

Aside from being homesick and lonely, something else I was struggling with was a fear of gaining weight. I was terrified of gaining the “freshman fifteen” that year. I feel like I’ve always had a warped perception of what my body looks like. I’m not sure why that is. Anyways, because of this fear, I barely ate. And by barely ate, I mean I would eat one of those “on the go” sized cups of Cheerios during the day, and that would be it except for when I would go home on the weekends where I’d eat real food with my family. I would look in the mirror and I was never satisfied. I don’t want to say I had an eating disorder as I feel like it’d be disrespectful to people who struggle with life-altering eating disorders for years, but I think it was a result of genuine misery and extremely deep depression. I lost almost 20 pounds that year.

I finally made it through the year and summer began. I was able to move back home, and I got a job. I loved that summer because I was finally free from my freshman year shackles. I began to see a therapist to talk through what I went through mentally and emotionally in the past year and it seemed to have helped me for the time being. I also got diagnosed with ADD that summer which makes...too much sense. I’ve struggled in school my whole life and because of the diagnosis, I now understand why. I have over-focused ADD with OCD tendencies. I tend to obsess over and hang on to things well after others have moved on from it. I’ve been that way my whole life, and now I had an answer as to why. It also causes me to experience mood swings but the Adderall (a God send) I was prescribed helped me to control them, Anyways summer passed by quickly, and I ended up moving into an apartment with 3 girls I was friends with from high school. Sophomore year started and it was great. I was so happy, and it felt like my horrific freshman year was a lifetime ago. There are no “buts” coming about this year. It truly was a wonderful year in my life and it’s something I’ll always cherish when I look back on my hellish college experience as a whole. The next year, though, is a different story.

It’s a story I’m not going to get into. It’s personal and it involves others besides myself, but I respect their privacy and lives since we’ve moved on, so I won’t be going into detail. What I will say is that I have many regrets from this year. I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of and would give anything to go back and change them. I didn’t like the person I was that year looking back, and I still don’t understand why I began to revert back to my misery, maybe it never truly went away like I thought it did. Instead of taking it out on myself like my freshman year, I took it out on others. I now take full responsibility for what I did and the people I hurt as a result and that’s something that I feel like took me a long time to do. It was cruel and it’s something I don’t and won’t try to justify anymore. I’m proud to say that I learned from that experience and the person I was then, isn’t who I am now.

After my junior year, I got an internship working at a consulting company. I LOVED this job. I loved the people I met there and made more friends there than what felt like I had in the entirety of my college experience. Real friendships where we could actually bond over something other than just being in the same class like at school. I realized that I was much happier working in a professional environment than I had ever been at school which made me even more excited to graduate. At the end of the summer, the company offered to extend my internship throughout the school year, and I was THRILLED. I was so happy that I was going to be able to leave school and go somewhere where I actually wanted to be during the week.

My senior year started soon after this and it was just…fine. Not bad but not great either. Just fine. Like I said, I was just grateful to be able to have somewhere to go after class that wasn’t just my apartment or somewhere on campus because of my job. My job began to be where I was the happiest, but, of course, school had to FUCK me over one more time. My class schedule for the second semester was Hitler on paper. I had signed up for the maximum amount of classes my school allows students to take, and just looking at it was overwhelming. I wanted to graduate on time in May and this was the only way to do it. I was forced to quit my job that I loved, and I was devastated. I continued to work there all of Christmas break up until the very last weekend before school started. I hugged my friends at work goodbye and began what would be the hardest semester of my entire life.

When I say this is the hardest semester of my life, I don’t mean it’s been hard like my freshman year was hard. I mean that my entire life is consumed with CLASSES. I feel like I never get a break and I’m always dreading tomorrow. I miss my job, and I miss when my thoughts weren’t filled with overwhelming amounts of assignments and due dates. I guess I should say I MISSED these things actually considering that all of my classes have been converted to online because of the virus terrorizing our planet. As sick as this may sound, if I could choose any semester for something like this to happen, I’m glad it was this one. I hate that a virus that is affecting so many people had to be the reason though. I’m typing this THESIS the day after my school announced it was converting to online classes and it feels like a 10,000-pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It felt like I was two assignments away from having a legitimate breakdown. This wasn’t at all how I imagined my last day on campus would be like, but…I’m (kinda) done with college. At least in person. Wow. 

I’m not exactly sure what prompted me to write this. I think I wanted to do it for myself as a way to finally let go of the of pain and anger I’ve experienced through college. I want to move on with my life now that I’m less than two months away from graduation and stop hanging on to things from the past and regrets that I’ve had that I just can’t change. I tend to act like I have a tough exterior, but behind that, there’s been a lot of pain and insecurity. Some of which I’ve kept to myself. Sometimes, I look back at that 18 year old girl who was burdened with so much sadness and cry. However, I want to let go of all of it. I have to. I also wanted people to know that not every college experience is the same and they’re not always going to be like what people tell you they are or what you see in the movies. I wish someone would’ve told me that. The lows I’ve felt throughout my time in college are things I wouldn’t wish on anyone especially young people experiencing their freedom and independence for the first time. I hope anyone that might read this who hasn’t started college or who is already in college make the most of their time there. Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t allow yourself to wallow and fall so deep into a hole that you feel like you can’t get out. Get help if you need it, there’s never any shame in doing so. I’m proud of myself for pushing through and I’m ready to start the life I’ve always wanted for myself. Thank you for making it through a 2 and a half page paper of my woes. 

Xo,

Dani

[theworldofsisi]

Pretty (Finding Balance)

“You're too pretty, Ren-ah.” the director's tone was harsh as he broke the news to the newest trainee under Pledis Entertainment. “You look feminine. You don't have very many muscles either, but I like your voice.” He grabbed Ren's face carefully, studying the young male's angular jaw line.

Ren bit back the remark that came to mind, instead meeting the CEO's gaze levelly. His low voice came out surprisingly calm despite the fact that he felt like all of the comments being made about him were thinly veiled insults and not simple observations. "I've always looked like this. I was made fun of for it in school because I didn't look as boyish as other kids my age.”

“Mhm.” was all that the director said in response as he took a step back away from his trainee. “We might be able to work with your natural feminine features in that case. Your androgynous appearance might just be what sets you apart from the other four members. Hell, we can even try to make it your trademark. Think of yourself as the opposite of Amber Liu from f(x)”

Ren raised a questioning eyebrow. “Didn't you just tell me that I was “too” feminine? Now you're talking about using it to my advantage?”

The CEO gave him an appraising look. “You're much more feminine than the other members, yes. Have you seen Baekho? He's about as masculine looking as you can get. You, on the other hand, are on the other end of the spectrum.”

Ren dug his heels into the ground to prevent himself from saying something that could quite possibly get him kicked out of the company. The CEO's seemingly inconsistent opinions were making his head hurt.“Are you okay with how I look or not?”

“Frankly, no. But we can make it work is what I'm getting at. We'll make your weakness your strength. You've just got to promise to do whatever I say. For all we know you might even start liking it.”

Choi Mink laughed harshly under his breath from the living room of Nu'Est's living room as he thought back to his trainee days when he had been told that the androgynous concept would suit his natural appearance the best. The CEO had been right - after awhile, the concept had grown on him and given him a sense of confidence and freedom that he had never felt before. It had been invigorating until the comments about his gender had started.

At first, they didn't bother him. Really, they didn't, at least that's what he made himself believe. He had tough skin and had learned to not let things get to him - when you were in the spotlight you were always going to have people who loved and hated you - there was simply no way around it.

He was usually pretty damn good at not letting people hurt his feelings - his manager had later warned him that he could expect some degree of heat from conservative people who watched the band, but Ren would have to learn how to ignore them. However as he logged onto his twitter account and checked his mentions, his face slowly contorted in annoyance.

The comments were on a selfie that he had posted with Baekho. Ren had recently dyed his hair back to its natural black and gotten long extensions down to his shoulders. People were talking about how manly Baekho looked compared to Ren - something that the maknae was used to by now. What he wasn't used to were the questions about whether or not that he had undergone a sex change and was secretly a woman.

He was a man. How he chose to look didn't affect his gender - fashion didn't make the person wearing it. He was simply taking a style and breaking cultural norms - that was his choice and his charm. Ren still believed that strongly, but as he continued reading, he felt his annoyance growing into genuine anger. One particularly rude comment stuck out to the twenty-year-old and his gaze narrowed as he read the words aloud, his voice barely louder than a hiss.

'Ren didn't have a sex change. I think it should be obvious to everyone that he's just a transvestite. I mean, look at the pictures of him wearing a skirt - he's basically embodying the definition of a transvestite. I think the sex change is probable in his near future, but not right now while Nu'Est is still together. I think when they disband he'll transition. This is just my opinion, though.'

Ren slammed his laptop closed and barely managed to stop himself from throwing it across the room. Instead, he sat it down on the floor beside him and rested his chin on his knees, glaring at the white carpet. It wasn't long before he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard Nu'Est's oldest member, Aron, talking from the couch behind him. “Minki? Why are you mad all of the sudden?”

Shrugging the hand off of his shoulder, Ren shook his head and refused to answer. Aron slid off of the couch and into the floor beside him. “Ren,” he said firmly. The maknae still refused to acknowledge him. Frustrated, Aron began tickling Ren's sides - something that the youngest member absolutely despised.

Ren began laughing hysterically against his will. He swatted Aron's hand away but still the oldest member kept up his relentless attack on Ren's sides. Normally Ren would have started a playful wrestling match with his hyung, but today he was not in a mood to be messed with. “STOP!” he yelled suddenly, startling both himself and Aron.

Aron ceased tickling the clearly pissed off member and stared at him with eyebrows raised. Ren stood up quickly and turned his back to Aron. “I'm going to go see Seong-Un. Don't wait up.” The maknae knew that he was only angry with Aron because he didn't want to admit that being made fun of him had gotten to him. He made a mental note to apologize to his hyung for his outburst after he had calmed himself down.

He knew that he would feel better as soon as he went to see his girlfriend, Seong. The two had been dating since before Nu'Est's debut - before Ren had changed his image for the band. Seong-Un had never seemed to have a problem with how Ren now looked. That had made him realize that her love for him was more than skin deep - she loved him for who he was underneath all of the makeup and clothing.

Ren had taken careful precautions to keep their relationship out of the media - he had seen many relationships torn apart due to comments from jealous fans or news reporters who liked to twist people's words. Even then, he knew that Seong still had social media accounts and followed him on them - she was just as exposed to the comments about him as he was. His biggest fear was that Seong would read some of the absurd comments about him and actually make the mistake of believing them.

So far that had not happened and Seong had repeatedly assured Ren that it wouldn't. He had started to believe her despite his better judgment telling him that there was no way that Seong could be so sure. She had never lived in the limelight - she really had no clue how things worked.

Ren shook his head to clear away the negative thoughts and gave Aron one last apologetic look. Or at least he hoped that it looked apologetic - with his current mood, he wasn't sure if he could control the sullen expression that was surely on his face.

With a final sigh of defeat, Ren turned on his heels and walked out of the Nu'Est dorm past curious managers. He gave them an excuse of going for a walk for some fresh air, but the manager hyungs knew exactly where their charge was going. They just simply chose not to comment on it to give Ren some sort of privacy - they were all too aware that the poor kid already ha a deficit of that.

Luckily Seong's apartment was just within walking distance of Nu'Est's dorm so Ren didn't have too far to travel. It was slightly chilly outside the dorm and Ren considered going back and grabbing his jacket, but knew that he would run the risk of bumping into one of the other four members - he didn't feel like explaining himself to them either.

Ren started his walk with a deep sigh, taking the familiar path to Seong's apartment. He'd made the same walk more times than he could count in the last few years and knowing the way had become second nature to him.

Luckily it was fairly late so there were few cars and people around - less risk of him getting caught by an overly curious fan or reporter. He was glad for that even though any other day he wouldn't have minded stopping for a quick picture or autograph.

Before long, he found himself at the door to Seong's apartment. He knocked on the door gently and waited. He could hear movement across the hardwood floor and knew that she was on her way. A few seconds later the handle jingled and the door was opened, allowing a pajama-clad Seong to come into Ren's view. “Seong-ah,” he mumbled and pulled her against his chest before resting his chin on top of her head. “I missed you.”

“You saw me this morning, Minki.” She said but smiled nonetheless and returned his hug. “Come inside - I'm freezing.”

Ren followed Seong into the living room and shut the door behind him. The spicy sweet scent of cinnamon vanilla wafted up to his nose and he smiled, instantly feeling more relaxed. That was Seong's signature scent - her house always smelled like a mix of those two fragrances and Ren loved it.

When he stopped sniffing the air and focused his gaze on his girlfriend once again, he noticed that her eyes were glazed over and her hair slightly disheveled. “Oh no.. you weren't asleep, were you?”

Seong nodded her head. “I was. But not for very long, so it's okay. But why are you here, Minki? It's almost ten p.m - I know that you haven't forgotten that the band has practice in the morning.”

Ren blinked and looked away, refusing to meet her gaze. “Can't I just decide to have an impromptu visit with my girlfriend?”

“Maybe. But Aron called me and warned me that something had put you into a bad mood.”

Ren's head shot up and he glared in irritation. “Damn him.”

“You don't mean that. He did it because he's worried about you and didn't want me to be unprepared when you got here this late.”

“I know,” Ren mumbled in defeat but didn't elaborate. He didn't move or speak again until Seong grabbed his hand gently and led him over to her couch. She pushed him onto it and took a seat beside him. Ren rested his head in her lap as she ran her hands through his hair, making him immediately relax.

“Minki. I know that something's bothering you. It hurts when you don't trust me enough to tell me what's going on.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Really? Then why would you come here at ten o'clock at night, knowing good and well that you could have come tomorrow after practice?” Seong stopped stroking Ren's hair, causing the singer to roll over and stare up at her questioningly. “Nope. I'm not doing it anymore until you start talking,” she replied, as if able to read his thoughts. She knew that he loved the sensations her hands caused on his scalp - it was one of the reasons that she wondered if he was somehow a reincarnated cat. The boy loved being pet too much.

Ren pouted adorably and Seong looked away, knowing that he was trying to coerce her into ignoring that something was wrong. “I'm not giving up until you talk. We can stay up all night - I've got time, but you don't. You have to wake up for practice at eight a.m, and you know that it takes you at least an hour to fall asleep. It's almost eleven now since you've been wasting time.”

“It was just a stupid comment on twitter. I shouldn't have let it get to me, but it did. It hurt a lot more than it should have.”

“Can I see what they said?” Ren winced and rolled on his side again. He had feared that she would ask him to show her what had his emotions all wound up. He'd been expecting it, but he still hadn't been prepared for the little sting in his heart that the thought of reliving it caused. He was almost ready to tell her no when he felt her running her hands through his hair again, instantly making him agree to show her the comments, despite his strong desire not to.

Ren reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his cellphone. He logged onto the twitter app with a heavy heart and went to his newsfeed. He was immediately shocked to see that the picture he had posted with Baekho had hundreds of comments now. He scrolled down, trying not to read the rest of them until his gaze fell on the one that he was looking for.

Seong reached for his phone and he gave it to her without much fight. She continued playing with his hair comfortingly as she read, her brow slowly furrowing in sadness as she read the original comment and some of its replies. Her gaze fell on a recent comment that had gotten many retweets. She was terrified of what it said, but she found herself unable to look away.

'At first, I was fine with my teenage daughter listening to this band. I had always thought that something seemed a little bit... off about Ren but never thought that he was like this. He clearly wants to be a woman, and that's not okay. God gave him the body of a man and he's trying to change that. Anyway, that's enough of my opinions. Let's just say that my child is going to have to find another group to “stan” or whatever the word for supporting a group is.. she will no longer be allowed to listen to a band that has a member who dresses like this and embodies these types of things. The last thing I need is for her to come home and ask me if she can become a man..”

Seong's breath caught in her throat as she read the last words, her hand unconsciously tangling in Ren's hair to the point that it hurt. “Seong,” he whined as he reached up and grabbed his girlfriend's wrist. “You're hurting my head.”

Coming back to her senses, she released her hold on his hair and laid his phone down on the arm of the couch. Ren sat up and ran his hand across her cheek gently, obvious concern in his eyes. “What is it?” he questioned as he reached for his phone with his free hand. Seong grabbed his hand and placed it on her shoulder before pulling the singer into a kiss.

Ren pulled back a moment later for air, eyes wide and long hair in disarray. “Now I know that something is wrong. You don't kiss me like that unless you're hoping that I won't ask questions.”

Seong flinched. He knew her too well by this point in their relationship - she couldn't lie to him anymore. With a shaking hand and regret written clearly on her face, she handed Ren his phone. He pressed the button to make the screen come to life and began reading the comment that had upset Seong so much.

Ren didn't speak immediately after finishing. He wasn't sure what to say and didn't really trust his voice. Parents were afraid that he would corrupt their children? Was how he chose to dress really that big of an impact on the younger generation? Better yet, how did his choices influence someone else's? He couldn't be blamed for children who didn't feel comfortable in their bodies - that wasn't even his case. Fashion didn't make the person wearing it.

Ren hadn't realized that he'd started shaking. Seong wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer to her, unsure of whether or not he was angry or trying not to cry. Ren shut his phone off and stared at the ground. He was more pissed than he had been before he had left the dorm - a complete defeat of the purpose of this visit.

“Minnie. You know that I love you, right?” The question came out of nowhere, jarring Ren out of his sullen reverie.

“Yeah. I love you too,” he replied honestly but still without lifting his gaze from the floor.

“Why are you letting it get to you, then? You know that you have the members and me who love you unconditionally. What does it matter if some people don't agree with your decisions?”

“Because this is more than people not liking me, Seong. This is apparently hurting Nu'Est's reputation. Some conservative parents are going to stop their kids from listening to our music, all because of what I look like. There's no way that something like that wouldn't get to me.”

“You still have fans who love you for who you are, Minki. What about them - do their opinions and love not matter to you as much as the negative feedback from critics?”

“I never said that.” Ren's voice had taken on an angry tone, one that Seong was not used to hearing. “The fans that support us are what keeps Nu'Est going. But what if my style keeps driving fans away, to the point that we're not selling any albums or concert tickets? What if Nu'Est fails because of me?”

“Why are you worrying so much? Has JR said anything about your appearance being an issue to the band?”

“No.”

“I thought so. Now do you trust JR as your leader?”

“Of course.”

“I'm reaching the conclusion that you're being neurotic for no reason.”

“Maybe you're right, but I can't help it. I would never forgive myself if I was the reason that all of dreams got crushed.”

“I don't think that's going to happen.” Seong leaned forward and kissed his cheek gently. “Now come on, will you at least try to relax? It's late, you look exhausted and don't have that much time left to sleep. You can stay here tonight and I'll come and watch you practice in the morning.”

Ren nodded, suddenly realizing just how tired that he was - being angry always drained him quickly. That's why he made it a habit of trying and quickly forgiving whoever had done him wrong. But tonight, he wasn't ready to let it go - he would just have to hope he had enough time to recover through sleep.

With a sigh, Ren got off the couch and held his hand out to Seong who took it and led him to her bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and took his shirt off before laying down on the soft mattress of her bed and crawling under the blankets until only his head was showing. Seong kissed the top of his head before laying down beside him and cutting off the lamp.

It was only a few moments later that she heard Ren's soft breathing and knew that he had fallen asleep. It normally took the young singer an hour, but tonight she had the feeling that he hadn't been fighting sleep as much as normal - he had been too tired and upset to have any desire to stay up.

Despite being woken up after barely having gone to bed, Seong found herself unable to sleep. She was worried about Ren - her boyfriend had long since learned not to allow himself to be hurt by what people said and had told her many times that other's opinions didn't matter to him, however, she knew that he was lying. In truth, being insulted or disrespected by anyone bothered him a lot - how could it not? They were tearing apart his dignity with questions about his gender. So what if he dressed differently from most men? That didn't change what he was underneath the clothing, did it?

She wanted to protect him but knew deep in her heart that there was nothing she could do. She couldn't even let people know that they were dating - he did that for her sake she knew, but it still hurt having to keep their relationship so well hidden.

Ren tossed in his sleep and she found herself wondering, not for the first time in their relationship, what dreams he was having. She couldn't imagine that after what had been bothering him before bed that he could be having happy dreams, but she hoped nonetheless that whatever visions his mind was playing for him were pleasant.

Seong reached out to him in the dark room, hoping that she was aiming in the right direction for his hair and wasn't about to hit him in the face. Her hand found long locks and she ran her fingers through them gently so that she didn't wake him up. After a moment she felt her eyelids getting heavy and she allowed her eyes to close as she drifted off into sleep.

"Minki, it's 8:00, you need to get up and take a shower or something to help you wake up. "

"Too tired. Don't want to go to practice."

"Aron is coming over with practice clothes, tell me what you want to wear so he knows."

Ren blinked his dark brown eyes open and focused on Seong's face as awareness slowly crept through him. "Something loose. T-shirt and gym shorts are fine."

"Alright, I'll call him. Now go and get in the shower. Your hair is sticking up everywhere."

Ren grimaced before forcing himself to climb out of Seong's warm bed and stumble groggily into the adjoining bathroom. Seconds later he had stripped out of his jeans and boxers and turned the dial of the shower to adjust the water temperature. With a sigh of effort, he managed to make his tired body cooperate enough to step into the bath and stand under the steamy water.

He almost felt himself being lulled back to sleep by the relaxing spray, but as his cheek brushed against the cold shower wall, he was jarred awake. Damn, next time Seong told him to stop wasting time, he would listen. Ren reached towards the shelf and grabbed the bottle of shampoo sitting there. It smelled like roses - Ren's least favorite scent in beauty products. With a look of distaste, he lathered it into his hair and decided that he would ask JR to lend him some of his cologne before practice. Not that it really mattered - he would smell like sweat soon enough.

It took him longer than it used to wash his hair now, the one downside of the new extensions. For a moment he found himself missing his short blonde hair but quickly crushed the longing feeling. He liked having his hair dark again - it suited his complexion, plus it was something new. If there was one thing that Ren wasn't afraid to do, it was trying new fashion trends. The length was just something he would have to get used to.

A few minutes later he had washed his body and hair and turned the water off. He felt a bit more awake, but it hadn't helped his bad mood. Ren had been trying his best to keep what he had read on twitter the previous night off his mind, but in the end, he failed and the memories crept back up on him. He hadn't been on social media since last night and was a bit scared to log back into it anytime soon.

He hated the feeling of weakness that being afraid to stand up for himself caused. He wasn't afraid to defend himself, he just wasn't allowed to. He had to keep Nu'Est's professional appearance at all costs or it would hurt the band's reputation as a whole - their personal reputations be damned. That meant that Ren basically had to put up with people disrespecting him as a person or risk getting major heat or even forced leave by the company. He didn't like the rules, but sadly, he wasn't the one who put them in place.

Ren took a deep breath and grabbed a fluffy white towel off of the rack beside the shower. He wrapped it tightly around his waist before stepping out onto the tiled floor. He grabbed another towel and attacked his long locks with it, instantly staining it a dull shade of black. The dye in his hair had stopped running in the shower, but was still prone to dying fabrics when wet. And he had used Seong's favorite towels - she had repeatedly begged him not to dry his hair using her good towels if he had recently colored his hair. With a grimace he made a mental note to buy her a new set for her upcoming birthday - she couldn't stay mad at him when he gave her ten more of the same towels, could she?

With that in mind, he quickly walked out of the stuffy bathroom and back into Seong's bedroom. A pair of blue gym shorts and a gray wife-beater were laying folded across the bed, along with the pair of white tennis shoes that he often wore to practice and a pair of ankle-length socks with his favorite character, Luffy from the anime One Piece printed on them. Ren laughed quietly at how well his hyung had thought ahead - he knew what Ren would have asked for had he been awake enough to remember everything he needed for the day. Before he started getting dressed, he quickly hid the stained towel he had used for his hair under the bed - he would explain it to Seong later.

He was dressed and sitting on the bed tying his shoes when Seong came into the room to check on him. She held out a hair-bow when he looked up and Ren smiled gratefully - there was no way in hell that he would have been able to focus with his hair constantly falling in his face and obstructing his vision. Ren frowned when he realized that he hadn't asked Aron to bring him a comb. Seong saw his look and grabbed her own brush off of the vanity. Minki winked and ran it through his hair thoroughly, wincing as it caught in the wet waves. A moment later he pulled his damp locks into a messy ponytail and glanced at himself in the vanity's mirror. He looked fine for practice, but definitely more tired than he usually did.

“Aron already went back to the dorm - everyone else is getting ready. He said we can wait for him to pick us up or we can drive on ahead in my car. Since you're the one going to practice, I'll let you decide.” Seong said after she laid her brush back on the vanity where she could find it. Ren tapped his chin thoughtfully as he he made his decision - he was tired, but he also had too much on his mind. Driving would be a good distraction and might help improve his mood if he couldn't focus as hard on what was bothering him.

“We'll take your car, but I want to drive.”

“Are you sure that's a good idea? You're tired and I really don't think you're in the best of moods right now. I need my car to get to school.”

“I'm sure. If nothing else I'll buy you a new car.”

“Minki, you know that I don't want you to spend that much money on me.”

“Please Seong, just met me drive. It'll distract me a little bit so I can unwind before practice. I'm gonna be too tense to get the moves right if I don't relax.”

“Fine, you can drive. But if I see any indication that you're not in a good condition to drive, promise me that you will pull over and stop the car.”

“Promise.” Seong sighed and grabbed the keys off of her dresser and handed them to Ren. He took them and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before heading outside and getting in Seong's sleek gray Honda Civic.

Ren gripped the steering wheel tightly as he drove down the long expanse of pavement that made up the crowded streets of Seoul. Driving had distracted him for a few moments until he had realized that he hadn't checked any of his social media accounts in hours - he normally tried to respond to at least a few of the messages that he got from fans everyday, but he hadn't been able to log on. He was disappointed in himself for not keeping up the habit that he had picked up - interacting with fans was one of his favorite things to do in his spare time.

Seong noticed the tightness of his hold on her wheel - she had recently gotten the cover replaced and was terrified of any of the paint being chipped off because of rough handling. With a disapproving look she placed her hand on top of one of Ren's to get his attention. He glanced at her before moving his eyes back to the road but said nothing. “You don't have to death grip the wheel.”

Ren chuckled slightly before slackening his hold. “Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I think the wheel is fine.”

Seong's expression softened as she noticed the distant tone of his voice. He was upset again - she could tell far too easily. “Yeah, I figured. But are you?”

“I dunno. I'm afraid to log onto twitter because I don't want to see what people have said. I don't like being afraid - I think I'm more mad at myself for being scared than I am because I'm being made fun of.”

“You know that its okay to get upset when people talk about you, right? You can't expect to be able to take everything in stride - you're human, not made of stone.” Seong sighed and shook her had sadly before looking out the window. “I'm glad you're getting to live your dream, Ren. But sometimes I really regret what its done to you. The old you would have known that he didn't have to stop himself from feeling upset. You would have embraced your emotions because that's who you were.”

Ren flinched. “You called me Ren..,” he muttered in surprise. Seong normally avoided using his stage name - she felt like he was a completely different person when he went by that name, and not the same Minki that she fell in love with. The fact that she called him that was admitting that she didn't feel like he was the same person at that moment, and it hurt. “Also, I'm still me, Seong. I may act different when I'm on stage, but if you strip everything that Ren is away, I am Minki. I thought you still believed that.”

“I do Minnie. But sometimes I wonder.” She reached and laid her hand against his shoulder before trailing her fingers across his neck, something that she knew gave him chills. “It's just that I've known you since we were born. Our mom's have been friends since they were kids. We've always been together, not to mention that we've been dating since we were teenagers. We're twenty now, Minki. I've been around you for twenty years - and I've had to watch you change more and more since your band's debut. I guess I'm having a hard time keeping up with who you have to be for performances and who you really are. Its like sometimes you forget to switch back to the Minki I know and if I'm being honest, it scares me.”

Ren frowned as he made a right turn in the direction of the practice studio. “I guess you're right. I do change myself to keep up with the new trends and what fans like. I do have different selves that make up Ren's persona as a whole. I'm only Minki when I'm around you and the members away from the spotlight. That's not all that often because our schedules are so strict.”

“You don't know how much I treasure the moments where Ren is gone completely and you're the Minki that I know. I really miss you sometimes.”

“For you, I'll try to be myself more. It does get kind of tiring to have to pretend to be someone I'm not all the time. It just becomes a difficult habit to break. I don't want to lose the person that I am.”

“I won't let that happen. I promise I'm here with you until the end.” Seong smiled and stretched when the familiar practice studio came into view. “Well, we're finally here. I'm ready to get out of this car.”

“Agreed.”

"Ren, did you eat?" JR's voice was clearly concerned, but his face remained stoic as he hovered over his youngest member. Ren's pout grew and the leader knew that he had gotten his question answered. "You're not practicing until you've eaten, and that's final. The last time you didn't eat before practice you collapsed and hit your head. We can't have anyone in the hospital so close to our comeback."

Minki sighed in resignation and held out his hand for the food that he knew JR was probably holding. Something warm was pressed into his hand and he glanced at it, finding that it was actually a chicken biscuit from the McDonalds in Seoul. He unwrapped it and slowly chewed, surprisingly realizing that it tasted good.

Ren watched, still eating his own biscuit as JR offered Seong the last one. She took it and said a quick thank you, smiling slightly. She still wasn't as used to JR as the other members - the leader had a tendency to not talk much and when he did, he often came across as intimidating. She didn't dislike him, she just didn't always feel entirely at ease around him.

Moments later Ren finished the last of his biscuit and the band began practicing the moves for their new song, Sleep Talking. Ren tried to focus on the dance, but found himself having difficulty concentrating. He had bumped into Baekho twice, causing the lead singer to push him backwards in aggravation. After a few moments, he found his groove and found himself slowly forgetting about what had led to his bad mood. That was until he heard angry clapping and the manager stepped forward, an annoyed glower on his face. “Ren, your dance was stunning - simply perfect.” he paused, causing Ren to anticipate that there was a “but” coming. He looked at the ground and bit his lip, refusing to meet the manager's eyes. “But you're doing the wrong dance- that was Hello's dance. Do we need to review the dance for Sleep Talking?”

Ren shook his head and got back into position to restart the dance, the correct one this time. Minhyun gave him a sympathetic look before they began Sleep Talking's complicated first move.

Ren sat on the floor beside Minhyun in position for Sleep Talking's first move, his head down. He was looking at the floor, not really seeing it by this point but attempting to practice regardless of how he felt. It didn't really matter, did it? With a sigh he began dancing when all of the other members sprang to life at JR's cue.

Ren did his solo lines in the song, his voice barely above a dull monotone. The managers just shook their heads in frustration but didn't comment. The singer felt his face flush but continued to sing. Seong gave him a thumbs up which he ignored - he wasn't in the mood for false idealism.

When the dance picked up again Ren didn't see JR directly beside him - he swung his arm in time to the dance and hit the leader in the head, knocking him back. Ren gasped as he realized what he had just done, fully expecting to get yelled at by his hyung. To his dismay, JR simply stared at him, hand on his head. “Minki, what's wrong with you today?”

Ren apologized quickly, no other words coming to him. The manager stepped forward and give the youngest member a glare. “Ren, you've messed up the choreography twice now. Do you not know it? Have all of the weeks of training we've been doing really had so little effect?”

“I know the dance manager hyung. I'm just.. distracted today.”

“ I can tell. You haven't paid any attention to what you've been doing, have you? And now you've gone and given Jonghyun a concussion.”

“Actually, my head is fine.” JR mumbled, his voice annoyed. Ren thought that his annoyance was directed at him, then he noticed that the leader's gaze was firmly on the manager. “Stop being so hard on Minki. He had a bad day yesterday.”

Unwilling to get into a fight with the intimidating leader, the manager walked away, uttering a string of angry curses but not giving the members another look as he retreated. Ren gave JR an appreciative look then lowered his gaze down to the floor in slight embarrassment. “You didn't have to protect me.”

“No, I didn't. But I wanted to. Manger-hyung has had a stick up his ass all day, and I'm getting sick of it. He deserved to be told off.” JR hit his youngest dongsaeng on the shoulder lightly. “Now smile, or tell me why you're so out of it today.”

“I read some stuff on twitter about me being androgynous.”

“So? We've dealt with that since debut, Ren. Why does it suddenly matter more to you?”

“Because, I'm not a girl, JR. I'm a guy, regardless of how the fuck I look.” Ren's eyes widened - he had surprised himself with his sudden outburst. Seong gave him a disapproving look and he glanced at the ground for what felt like the thousandth time that morning.

“Minki, you've known since debut that these comments were going to come.”

“Yeah, but I didn't think that they were going to start hurting our reputation.”

“Why would you say that? I haven't seen any indication that sales of anything are going down at all. We're doing fine, Renny.”

Ren didn't respond, he simply grabbed his phone from Seong's purse and pulled up twitter, searching for the string of comments that had ruined his day. He found them quickly due to the still growing chain or retweets and handed the phone to the leader.

JR's jaw tightened as he read some of the more disrespectful comments about his youngest band-mate. His natural protective nature as the leader took over and his fingers gripped the phone harder than he meant to. This wasn't lost on Ren who laid a gentle hand on his hyung's shoulder. “What is it, JR?”

“I don't know what to say about this. This is bullshit. Why the hell does it matter if you don't completely look your gender - that's not hurting anybody. Its your goddamned choice to dress and look how you want.”

“JR!” Baekho called from the floor beside JR's feet. “Language. Seriously, I know you're pissed but tone down the cursing.”

“Fuck off Baekho. You know that you have quite the mouth on you when you're mad.”

Baekho didn't respond - he knew that when the leader was in a bad mood, there would be no reasoning with him without getting his head bitten off. Plus, be had a point.

JR took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. It was never good for himself or his band when he got riled up like this. “I'm sorry, Baekho. I should have thought more about what was about to come out of my mouth.” He turned to Ren and gave him a sympathetic, if not a tad apologetic look. “Ren, there are more comments that I'm sure you haven't seen. They're not good - some of them are downright degrading and insulting. But before you get yourself worked up again, listen to me. Your image is not hurting Nu'Est. You're free to be yourself.”

“Those comments say otherwise, don't they?”

“Yeah. But we're not worried about what people who aren't really fans say. If they really supported Nu'Est, they would support all of us. Don't worry about what some people say - pay attention to what the one's who actually care about you say.”

“I told him that, but he didn't listen. Maybe hearing it from his leader will help some.” Seong smiled as she took Ren's hand. He squeezed it gently, ignoring a mocking look from Minhyun.

JR smiled shyly and nodded. “Yeah. Minki is kind of hard headed sometimes, but you probably know that better than us by this point.”

“I'm right here, and I'm not hard headed.” Ren defended, a slight blush coloring his neck and cheeks.

JR smirked as he ran a hand through his long bangs. “Sure you're not Ren. But anyway, I think we should cut practice short today - let's go get something to eat.”

The manager, who had been silent up until that point, walked furiously towards JR and grabbed the leader by the front of his shirt. “Are you crazy, Jonghyun? You have a comeback in a few weeks. This isn't the time to be taking days off and getting lazy. Its the time to amp up and practice harder!”

JR's fist clenched at his side and it took everything he had not to punch the manger in the face right then and there. Instead, with his gaze too calm, he met the managers gaze with his own dark brown eyes. “First of all, I suggest that you let me go.” The manager did as instructed, releasing JR's shirt and taking an appropriate step back. JR nodded in satisfaction before sighing deeply. “Second of all, I'm the leader of these guys, and I take care of my boys. They're all tired and Ren's head isn't in the game. He's not going to learn anything by being forced to stay here when he has no chance of focusing. I'm gonna take them out so that he can calm down some so tomorrow will be more productive. Are we clear?”

The manger shook his head. “Fine, do whatever you want. I couldn't stop you anyway, not without you making a claim to the director about me prohibiting you from leaving against your will. So go, but be back here at the same time tomorrow, or we will have a problem.”

JR didn't respond he just gestured to the door and began walking towards it, his members and Seong following closely behind. Seong walked faster to match her pace with Ren's and he wound his hand through hers with a small smile. They made it out of the huge company building at back outside into the bright afternoon light.

The beautiful setting was interrupted by the all too familiar flash of cameras and Minki instinctively pulled his hand away from Seong's, glaring at the reporters who had appeared in front of them. With one last look, Ren pulled Seong to him and pushed her face into his side, hiding her from the view of the cameras.

He walked quickly, ignoring the hands grabbing at him and the voices begging him to give them the latest scoop on his life. when the couple arrived at Seong's car, he quickly pushed his girlfriend into the car, allowing her to get in first as he went around to the driver's side. He put the keys in the ignition and sped off at a speed that probably wasn't legal, leaving the reporters in the dirt.

Nu'Est was scheduled for an interview, and Ren was terrified. It was two days after being spotted by reporters at the Pledis company building, and if Ren had been avoiding social media before, he was never going back on it at this point. JR had told him not to worry too much, but he couldn't help it. He had seen what the media could do to twist relationships, and he wasn't prepared to lose Seong due to something like that.

He wasn't naive - he knew that there had been far too many reporters waiting for them for him to fully have been able to protect Seong from all of their views - at least one of them had to have gotten a picture of her face, compromising her identity.

He also knew how these interviews worked - the hosts purposely asked questions that would be difficult or revealing for the members to answer, so that they could get any scoop into the lives of celebrities to boost their ratings.

With a sigh Ren buttoned up his white shirt and pulled a black jacket over it, before looking into the mirror. He had his hair tied in a bun at his nape, and a short gold chain hanging from his neck. He looked at least presentable, not that he cared very much how he looked for this one particular interview.

Five minutes later the manager hurriedly shooed him out of his room and into the waiting van, reprimanding Ren for taking too long and risking that they arrive late to the interview.

“So Ren, the next question is for you.” The interviewer smiled, and Ren returned the expression, even though he felt it turning into a grimace. “There were some pictures leaked on the internet a few days ago, of you and a young woman. In one of the pictures you were holding her hand, and then the next shows you holding her close to your side. Can I ask if she's your girlfriend?”

Ren laughed nervously and Aron laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving him an encouraging look when he caught his gaze. He nodded and turned back to the interviewer. “She is.”

The interviewer's eyes widened in surprise. “So you have a girlfriend?”

“Yes sir.”

“Are you aware that their are rumors that you're gay? Some of them suggest that you're in a relationship with your band-mate JR? You're crushing that rumor today?”

“I was aware that there were rumors about my sexuality, yes. I didn't know that they suggested that I was in a relationship with JR.”

“There are, I'll show you them if you want. But since you're crushing that rumor, how long have you and your girlfriend been in a relationship?”

“We started dating when we were fifteen, but we've known each other since we were born.”

“Oh, so you were childhood friends?”

“Yes, so were our mothers.”

“When did you first realize that you were attracted to her?”

“Well, I always sort of had a crush on her, but I didn't know that at first - I thought I was just really close to her because I'd known her for so long. Then when we got into middle school and she started growing up, I realized that she was beautiful.”

“When you say she “grew up”, you mean her body matured, as in she developed..” the host stopped talking and gestured towards his chest. Ren caught the meaning and laughed a little bit, blushing as he looked down.

“I didn't base my feelings on her chest size.”

“Are you saying that you don't like breasts?”

“What? No. I just said -”

“Ren, are you gay?”

JR grabbed Ren by the collar before he could jump out of his seat. The leader knew that this host had a habit of asking personal questions in a very forthright and insensitive way, and also twisting the words of the celebrities to make the question and response all the more juicy. He had hoped that he wouldn't do that to Ren, but had been prepared just in case.

Ren struggled against the older member's grip, but couldn't break free. By this point he was sure that the directors of the show had called cut, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway - the show was broadcast live, and the whole of South Korea that had been watching had already seen his outburst.

He stopped struggling when he saw the expressions on his band-mates faces. He could do nothing by getting angry - it would only give critics more to talk about if he couldn't contain his anger and continued acting out. With a huff of intense anger, he relaxed and JR knew that he was trying to calm down. He released his hold on Minki's collar and sat back, waiting with baited breath as the host sat in his seat, staring at them in shock. “I'm sorry about that Ren, that was rude of me.”

“Yeah, it was.” Ren muttered, unable to control the venom that seeped into his words.

“I think that we should.. call off the rest of this interview. I'm not sure if any of you have anything else you'd like to say to me.”

“You're kind of a dick.” Aron said and gave the reporter a glare before standing up. “We'd leave even if you hadn't given us permission.” Seong sat on the couch of her apartment in shock as the broadcast of Nu'Est's interview was cut off abruptly without warning. The host had insensitively questioned Ren's sexuality with absolutely no reason to other than his own personal speculation. She couldn't blame Ren for his reaction, even though he had reacted more strongly than she thought that he normally would have. He was typically so much more calm and forgiving, but he had instantly gotten angry at the host's comments and she was positive that if JR hadn't grabbed him by the shirt, he would have gone to extreme lengths to shut the host up.

She was worried about him, but he hadn't been answering his phone. She called the other members, but they weren't picking up either.

With nothing better to do, Seong went onto her social media to catch up. What she found on Twitter surprised her so much that she dropped her phone on the floor. It was a picture of Ren, but it wasn't just him. In the picture he was kissing JR.

Seong knew that she shouldn't believe it, but it wasn't the only one. Surely people didn't have enough time to Photoshop all of those pictures? There were too many, each becoming increasingly graphic in its depiction of her boyfriend with his leader.

Then she read the comments on some of the pictures, and she felt her heart sink into her stomach like an anchor. It was at that terrible moment that she heard the door to her apartment open and footsteps loud enough to be heard even though they were coming across carpet. Before she knew it, lips were being crushed against hers and instead of being taken over by the familiar kiss, she struggled against the hands that had found their way to her hips.

Seong pushed Ren away hard enough where he nearly stepped on the phone that she hadn't picked up. He looked down at the floor and saw a picture of him kissing JR. His face fell and and he stared at Seong, his face instantly paling. “You know this is photoshopped, right?”

She shook her head once. “I thought that at first, but why are there so many of them? And look at this!” her voice raised louder than she meant it to as she grabbed her phone from beside Ren's foot before thrusting it into his hands. He read the comment, feeling his fists clench at his side with each word.

'Just because Ren was with a girl, does not mean that he's straight. I'm sorry for all of the fangirls who just can't accept that he's gayer than a circle, but he's not interested in women. He's probably just using her as a cover up to hide his feelings for JR. Look at all of the videos of them acting gay together under the pretense that it's just “skinship” I'm sorry, but last time I checked, skinship doesn't involve making out with a band-mate at any chance you get. I think he's in love with JR and if this girl really is someone that he's dating, I feel bad for her honestly.'

Ren's hands were shaking as he gripped the phone, his gaze slowly turning back to Seong. She was staring at him with an unreadable expression on her face, and he searched her eyes, searching for some sign that she didn't completely believe the rumor that she was seeing about him. Dammit, their relationship was stronger than that, wasn't it?

But as he he caught her gaze, he began to wonder if that was the truth. She was staring at him as if she didn't recognize him, and he realized that it was because of the conversation that they had in the car. She didn't know his Ren personality - he wasn't the same person as he was when he was himself. She didn't know if Ren was capable of cheating on her and using her as a cover up for a relationship with a man.

He had no words to reason with her, but he had to try anyway regardless. He couldn't just give up and let her go without a fight because dammit she was worth it. “Seong, you can't really believe this crap. Look at me.” He tried to grab her face to turn her head towards him, but she kept moving and refused to let him get his hand near her.

“I wouldn't believe it, but why did you react so strongly on that interview, Minki? You and I both know that you've been asked that question a lot - why did it affect you so badly today?”

“Did you not hear how he asked me, Seong? He was asking me that because I don't love you for your boobs. Did you want me to tell him that was the only reason that I fell for you?”

“You know you've been asked if you're gay in worse ways before, and you always responded to them with a smile and told them that you have a girlfriend. You were more defensive, and I know why.”

“Because its true, Ren! You're in love with JR. Why else would you get so defensive when he named names, instead of just asking if you were interested in men? He implicated JR and you went off.”

“Why would you believe that I love JR in that way?”

“You touch each other all of the time, hell sometimes you touch him more than you touch me.”

“You know that isn't true.”

“Do I, Ren?” Seong countered, using his stage-name like a sword. The implication of her using that name stabbed into his heart like a sword and he gasped like his chest really had been pierced. “Its been a long time coming, really. I told you that I don't recognize you when you step off of that stage. You've changed so much even though I've been beside through the entire thing. I really don't know who you are at all anymore.”

Ren's heart ceased beating entirely and he took a step back. “You're not really breaking up with me, are you?”

Seong looked down at the ground. “Yes, I really am. I'm sorry Ren.” She didn't look up until she heard the door to her apartment slam. Seong raised her head up slowly, allowing the tears to stream from her eyes freely as her heart slowly broke because she had just broken the heart of the love of her life, and her best friend.

Ren didn't make it very far before a choked sob escaped his mouth against his will. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to cover up the choked sounds but failing miserably. He stumbled blindly in the direction of Nu'Est's dorm, his legs weak and eyesight obscured by unshed tears. By some miracle he reached the dorm and got inside without being spotted or asked any questions by people on the street who wanted to know why he looked like he was about to cry. But once he was inside the dorm and saw Aron sitting on the couch watching a movie, the dam that was barely containing his raging emotions broke, and the current of tears that he had been suppressing ran down his face freely.

Aron shot up from the couch and enveloped the maknae in a hug, instinct controlling his mind as he rubbed his friend's back. Ren didn't reciprocate the hug, instead he just stood there as stationary as a wall. It wasn't long before the rest of the members came into the living room, various expressions of shock on their faces. All except for JR who watched the entire ordeal with guilt written clearly on his face. He had saw the pictures - he had posted on his twitter asking people to stop photoshopping those pictures, but they hadn't. And now Ren had come home from Seong's house crying, and he knew, he just knew that she had broken up with him because of the pictures.

He hated seeing Ren heartbroken because of him, but there was nothing that he could do to take away his friend's pain. Instead he went back to his room and locked the door, throwing himself down on his bed and grabbing his phone and headphones. He stared at the ceiling and blasted music to drown out the sounds of Ren's heart wrenching sobs that he couldn't help but feel like he was fully responsible for and soon fell into a restless sleep.

Two weeks passed and it was obvious to Ren's band-mates that he was far from okay. He refused to come out of his room other than to eat and use the bathroom, unless they had practice. His dancing and singing were as lifeless as his eyes, which were near devoid of emotion. He barely spoke to the members outside of what was necessary, and none of them could take the near silent state that the door stayed in constantly. As much as Baekho and Minhyun had messed with him about being a chatterbox, they missed their noisy friend.

As much as they hated attaching more labels to the poor kid, they all knew in their hearts that the only diagnosis for Ren's sudden change in behavior was depression. He slept half of the time that they weren't practicing and spent the other half of the time struggling like hell to fall asleep. He ate but it was only when the members knocked on his bedroom door and reminded him to, then he went straight back to his room and locked the door.

It was weighing the most heavily on JR, whose guilt was causing his already hard to contain temper to erupt. He spent a lot of his angry energy by working out at the gym. It kept him from blowing up on one of the members or the manger, but it could't take away the guilty feeling in his heart. In a rare moment where Ren had spoken since the breakup with Seong, Ren tried to assure JR that he didn't blame him for what happened, but the leader couldn't help but feel that he was just saying that to spare him the guilt.

It was that guilt that led him to Ren's door. He knocked on it lightly, and at first received no answer. Just as he was about to turn away, a quiet reply came from within. “Yeah?”

“Can I come in?” JR asked cautiously, expecting to be told no. A few heartbeats later he heard the door being unlocked from the other side, and then there was Ren, his long black hair disheveled and eyes slightly puffy. He had been crying again - it didn't take a genius to figure that out.

Ren sighed impatiently when JR didn't say anything. “What is it, Jonghyun?”

“Can we talk?”

Ren nodded and stepped aside, granting JR access to the room. The leader stepped into the normally neat space and found it in disarray, something unusual on its own. Ren sat down on the bed and JR took a seat beside him. Neither spoke for a few minutes until surprisingly, it was Ren who broke the silence. “You still blame yourself, don't you?”

“I can't help it. It was pictures of us that made her break up with you.”

“Yeah, but they were photoshopped. We've never kissed each other.”

“Doesn't mean that we haven't thought about it.” JR's eyes widened. He hadn't meant to let that slip out, but it was true.

“Seong doesn't know that I'm bisexual.”

Now that was a new piece of information that JR hadn't been aware of. “You never told her? Better yet, she's known you since you were born. How could she not know?”

“I didn't even know until about a year after we started dating, and I didn't really want to bring up that I realized I like dudes to my girlfriend. I thought it would scare her off... a bit like those pictures did I guess.” Ren laughed bitterly and shook his head.

JR sighed. “I know you're upset Ren, but we're worried about you.”

“I'm fine.”

“Are you though? You barely come out of your room except for when you have to. This is the most we've spoken since she broke up with you.”

“I said I'm fine, JR.”

“I know that you say that you're alright, but that doesn't mean that you really are, Minki.”

“Well, I am. Maybe you should learn how to trust me. I think I know when I'm okay or not.”

“If you think you're alright you're lying to yourself.”

“Will you just butt out? I'm fine - drop it already.” Ren sighed in exhaustion, even though he was more mentally tired than physically. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. JR stood in place until he realized that Ren was waiting for him to leave. He sighed and obliged, closing Ren's door behind him. Only once he was gone did Ren lock the door and reach under his bed for the bottle of soju that he had stored under there in hopes of hiding it from his members. He had stolen it from Aron's liquor cabinet when the oldest member had left it unlocked.

He uncapped it and took a long swig, wincing at the burning sensation that it caused. His mind wandered back to the comments that seemed like they had bothered him so long ago about him looking like a girl. He had Seong to help him cope during that time, and now he was completely alone, left to read the comments against him by himself with no one to lessen the blow.

The comments had only gotten worse. Now they weren't just talking about him as a person. No, they were threatening his life. People who thought that he was gay or anything other than completely straight had been sending him death threats, threatening to kill him if they ever met him in person. He was terrified for his life and that was part of the reason that he barely came out of his room. It wasn't all because of Seong, even though he couldn't lie to himself and say that he wasn't depressed. He avoided the members because he knew that they would want him to see a counselor to get himself checked out so that he could get back to normal,but Ren couldn't see his life ever being normal again.

He had never considered suicide before, but as he sat on the floor of his dark room, locked away by himself, he felt like just maybe ending it all was the best option. With a shuddering breath he took another sip of the soju before putting the cap on and crawling back into bed to listen to some Lady Gaga to get his mind off of things. Even his favorite singer couldn't cheer up his dark mood.

Sleep mercifully claimed him a few moments later, but his sleep was far from restful. He dreamed of Seong leading a mob of people to Nu'Est's dorm and helping them kill him. He couldn't wake up and was forced to watch and feel it as the woman he loved ended his life.

But maybe dying wasn't so bad

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

Christmas gift for

@freedom-barricades-bighero16

“I hate snow.”

 Momakase had spent much of her life in England, way before she turned into the most feared mercenary of San Fransokyo (though how much of that was what she really wanted she still wasn’t sure).

 So it came as a bit of a surprise to herself that the statement was actually uttered by the scarred man beside her, the glow from his face illuminating the sky almost as well as the street lamps.

 “You hate snow?”

 A knife suddenly cut down a branch, snapping it in half.

 No reason, really, it was just fun!

 Momakase turned to him with a face full of snark. “I would never have guessed.”

 Obake sneered. He had no time for such frivolities. In fact, he wasn’t sure why he had agreed to this walk.

 “Father, if you never stretch your muscles, you’ll never be able to properly lead your revolution! Also, I’d like some “me” time, and Uncle Globby rented “Cadet Kelly”, so…”

 Ah yes. Trina. Why had he built her again?

 For a moment, he cringed. That was dark. He knew why he built her. He truly wanted her.

 But…

 He sighed.

 The snow crunched under his boots and Momakase went eerily silent as Obake wondered what was wrong with him.

 For the last month and a half, he had been making leaps and stride with his plan: To destroy San Fransokyo and start again, creating a new society born from the ashes, fearless, bold, daring!

 An age of geniuses, it would be!

 One where the weak and cowardly would be gone, one where only those who dared to attempt would guide the people!

 And he would lead them all, a messiah, a savior…

 A teacher.

 Obake had been dreaming of this for decades, ever since the accident that had freed him.

 …Why was he beginning to feel doubts?

 “You’re awfully quiet, even for you.”

 Oh, yes. She was still here.

 Obake let out a breath that floated across the air as the ninja woman besides him smirked once more.

 Of the 3 minions he had hired, Momakase was the most competent and least annoying.

 Somehow, she still got on his nerves, though.

 Globby was infuriatingly friendly, but at least he listened to commands.

 Noodle Burger Boy had made the unfortunate assumption that he was Obake’s son, and Obake wasn’t sure how he was going to shut that down after the plan succeeded, but at least he too listened to orders.

 But Momakase was different; always arguing back, debating, offering counters to his plans and counter counters to his counters.

 For all his life, everyone Obake knew was a step behind him, even the very promising Hiro Hamada.

 But Momakase? She seemed to actually keep up.

 Obake didn’t know if he should be concerned about that.

 All he did know was that the park they had stopped at was way too cold for stopping at.

 Looking up, Obake could see that it was totally dark.

 No one was around at all, and if his watch wasn’t wrong (and it WASN’T), it was past midnight.

 Even saviors needed sleep. Until, of course, he invented a solution for that so he can never stop working.

 “I should probably head back.”, he commented, but Momakase was already sitting down.

 Turning around, she patted the seat with a cocky grin. “Oh, but I don’t want to miss this view!”

 Rolling his eyes, Obake pointed at his watch. “Believe it or not, I have very important things to do. They do not include sitting on a cold bench watching a natural occurrence occur, least of all with you.”

 He too attempted a cocky grin, but Momaskase was not giving in.

 Making a sort of pouty face, her British accent popping out a little, she retorted. “Oh, I’m sure you can spare us some time!

 Obake massaged his temples. Here she was again, ignoring a direct order. If he couldn’t get an underling to cooperate, how was he going to lead the new world order?

 “Well, that’s good. You shouldn’t do it…”, a voice whispered, but as Obake turned around, eyes darting for once in surprise and not in boredom, he was actually startled to find no one there.

 It couldn’t have been Momakase; who had said it?

 Meanwhile, she was still sitting there.

 Obake sighed; he didn’t have much of a choice, did he?

 “Fine.”, he muttered and he sat down, regretting immediately.

 Cold seats were no fun, no matter what your alignment was.

 As Obake shivered, Momakase suddenly began to talk in an odd tone.

 “You know, I’m not just hired muscle.”

 Obake turned to her, annoyed. “I know: that’s the problem. You refuse to listen.”

 “I mean…”, she cut him sharply, but thankfully no knives were involved.

 She continued. “I mean… You see me as just cattle to lead, like all the rest. But if you want a perfect society, you’re going to have to allow SOME freedom.”

 “Oh, this is rich.”, Obake commented, and Momakase raised an eyebrow.

 “How come?”, she asked, and he quickly shot back.

 “Well, let’s see: In order for me to amass total control of society so that I can guide it properly, I am supposed to allow them to make decisions?”

 He stood up, almost surveying his future territory. “Humanity is disappointing: Every time it gets an opportunity to move forwards it chooses to leap back and hide in the dark. Like a cold and wounded animal.”

 He almost wanted to retch, it was horrid!

 “They are sheep. They need a sheapard to lead them. Guide them.”

 He closed his eyes, thinking of the prodigy only he could turn great.

 “Mold them.”

 His speech finished, Obake sat down, but Momakase just kept on, as if his words meant nothing to her!

 “Well, yes and no.”

 Obake wanted to argue back, but it was easier to just listen and ignore, so that’s what he did.

 Momakase adopted an oddly sentimental face as she spoke, her tone not one Obake was used to from her.

 “Most people are trash… But some aren’t too bad. I understand your motivations, but I do think that if you truly want to create a great society, you need to be tough and firm… But also nurturing.”

 Obake let out a chuckle, shaking his head, despite a small voice still bugging him in his ear. “Really? You, the killer ninja, is lecturing me about nurture? About giving people a chance?”

 Obake had not expected this from Momakase, but it was actually the knife that surprised him most.

 “You don’t know anything about me. I’m not just a killer. I’m… I’m…”

 Her growl was slowly replaced with hesitation. With doubt.

 Layers she had hid for long were threatening to reveal themselves.

 Withdrawing the knife, she sat down again and sighed.

 “I am more than a killer. Besides…”

 She sighed, the cold very much bothering her now.

 “I only did it once. And I’ll never do it again.”

 It was almost like a child, her apology. One could not help but feel a tinge of sympathy, even Obake.

 Wait, that doesn’t make sense, he’s not supposed to, what’s going on?

 Whatever.

 It will all clear out soon.

 Must be the weather. Stupid snow.

 “I… I see.”

 Silence reigned as Obake wondered what had he gotten himself into and Momakase began to reminisce.

 “You know… It’s funny…”

 “What is?”

 Momakase felt the knife in her hand, but she was caressing it for once.

 “Christmas is always presented as such a joy… But I’ve only had one good one.”

 Obake didn’t like talking about Christmas, but not for some cliché villain reason: In fact, his only real memory of it was one he didn’t want to visit for very unexpected reasons.

 But Momakase wasn’t stopping.

 “Every Christmas, I go out and perform some kind of job… Every Christmas I ended up getting hurt in some way, be it a fight or…”

 She clutched herself. Whatever it was, it was something she wouldn’t lightly share.

 “But… One time… It ended nicely.”

 Obake didn’t want to ask, but he found his voice box emitting forighn sounds.

 “How so?”

 Momakase looked at the night sky, feeling almost safe.

 “I was sent to rob some florist by some mobster with a stick up his arse…”

 Momakase in the past leapt down silently and crept in to the store, ready to make with the stealing.

 “…I made a different choice…”

 The woman managing the store was not being handled in a way fitting a person.

 This of course, was what happened to her attackers.

 Picking her up, Momakase felt an odd surge. She had done something good.

 This would end up badly, she would have to keep her tracks low to avoid any attacks from her boss and…

 “Th…Thank you…”, the manager said, a weak smile as she looked up at her rescuer.

 Momakase couldn’t help but smile back. It was worth it.

 A few minutes later, finding herself under mistletoe, it became even more worth it…

 “…I never saw her again, she didn’t need to be burdened by me.”

 A longing sigh.

 “But… I can’t help but wonder what if…”

 Obake was surprised at the frankness of his worker.

 Why on earth had she opened herself up for?

 Even worse…

 Why was he about to do the same?

 “I…”

 No. Don’t do it.

 “I…”

 No! You are not her friend, not her confidante!

 “I…”

 NO! YOU ARE THE SAVIOR! YOU CAN’T CONFIDE! YOU CAN’T!

 But for once, a small voice that had been quiet for decades opened up.

 “I too… Had one good Christmas.”

 Momakase turned with a startle, and observed her boss with new eyes. “Obake, sharing something from himself?”

 She sat with her arms under her chin, now VERY interested.

 “DO share, love!”

 Obake wanted to hit himself for being so dumb, but it was too late…

 “It was before… Before I found my vo… Came up with my plan.”

 Obake didn’t say much… He would not reveal it all…

 But Momakase could fill in the blanks.

 “…Back when I was at SFIT, I much preferred staying in my dorms, especially in Christmas. I didn’t take the home for the holidays option… I found my lab much more warm anyway…”

 What was he doing?

 “And… One Christmas… Just a few months before…”

 He pointed at his glowing face.

 “…This… I found my privacy invaded.”

 He was doing something insane! He had to stop!

 But…

 Somehow…

 He also didn’t want to stop.

 “I had always known Professor Granville to be an astute mentor… At least, until she grew cold feet…”

 Why did that not feel as assured as ever?

 “But I must admit…”

 Bob Aken’s sunken eyes had never seen such a spread.

 Certainly not back home.

 Surely no one could calculate what was more enticing: The basted turkey or the frosted chocolate cake!

 But even a teenager like Bob couldn’t help but look at the present under the tree.

 …Had she done all this for him?

 The green and red lights flickered as he entered her lab, feeling oddly warm despite the storm outside.

 Standing with her hands clasped, Professor Grace Granville feigned surprise. “Well! It seems as if someone has mistaken my office for my house back in Shimammoto street!”

 A fake sigh, and she sat down. “Well, I can’t let all this go to waste!”

 A twinkle in her eyes. It haunted him.

 “Would you care to join me? I surely can’t finish all this by myself, Robert.”

 Bob stammered.

 Kindness had not yet been discovered by him.

 “Are… Are you sure?”

 An outstretched hand turned an hour later into a hug.

 “I would be honored…”

 “…”

 Obake stopped talking.

 He stood up.

 “I must go. I have a long day tomorrow.”

 Momakase too began to leave, but she smiled at him.

 “You know… Perhaps you really are the villain of this story…”

 She smiled as she leapt into the night and disappeared into the alleyways.

 Her words continued to echo as he walked down the street.

 “…But I feel like deep down, there’s a person behind the Obake…”

 Obake sighed, wondering what was wrong with him.

 He was the savior of his city, the one who would free it of it’s limitations, the one whose name would go down in history!

 But as he walked on the snow, Obake was feeling that someone who he thought was dead was coming back.

 And if Bob Aken was still alive…

 Then who was he?

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 3

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

The first night on the couch wasn’t the worst experience I’ve ever felt. I’ve slept on the ground and a terrible cot, so this definitely was painless in comparison. I rise early, before the sun is out and start the coffee maker for MacKenzie when she wakes up while I go out in my balcony, grabbing my gloves on the way out.

I shake out my arms and stretch my neck as I focus on the punching bag in front of me. Connecting with the bag brings a rejuvenating feeling that I don’t get in typical workouts as I watch it swing with each forcible blow. I hit it with more and more force between every punch, my fists smacking against the masking. Something about punching something allows me to focus on calming myself during stressful situations and deal with any thoughts that are causing me some discomfort.

Sweat begins to pool on my skin as I step away from the bag and find my pull up bar. The way my tank top clings to my body is distracting, so I subconsciously remove it so I’m only in my sports bra, then jump up to hang on it and begin to pull myself up and down effortlessly at first before the burning in my arms begin to become predominant. I just focus on my breathing as I continue to push through my sets. I get to my last one and my mind feels effortless like there is a new sense of clarity.

I drop down and turn to the door when I see MacKenzie quickly turning around, almost embarrassed. How long has she been there just staring at me? I pull the door open and she is still turned away.

She finally turns around, letting out a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to stare. That was inappropriate of me and an invasion of privacy. You invited me into your home and I totally just eye-fucked you. I’d completely understand if you wanted me to go back to the dorm and ask to reassign someone else,” she says freaking out so much so that I begin to smile at all the words leaving her mouth. Did she just say she “eye-fucked” me? Sounds promising and flattering.

“Do you realize you ramble when you’re uncomfortable?” I ask her smirking slightly, prompting her to stop mid-sentence and take in the full extent of the situation. “I appreciate the eye-fucking though,” I add walking around her to start the coffee maker, leaving her in awe of what just happened.

Granted the whole point wasn’t to gauge a reaction, but it’s nice to know that I am not the only one who is probably going to be struggling throughout this whole ordeal. To be quite honest, I’m not planning to change my routine just because she’s here. My job is to protect her and keep her safe, so it should be more of a reason for me to keep active while doing so.

I wait for the coffee to be done as she comes around the corner slowly, almost shyly. I grab an apple from the fridge and hold it out to her, but she shakes her head in decline, so I keep it for myself. “Something on your mind?” I ask as I bite into the apple and she seems to hesitate with her response, before giving in.

“I’m bisexual just so you know. I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” she says and I can’t help but smile even wider at her.

“Trust me, I figured that out already,” I tell her as the coffee maker goes off. I turn to the cabinet and pull two mugs out, then search for the creamer in the fridge.

She rolls her eyes. “You know, anybody would be a little shocked at someone so—you,” she says emphasizing on my attire or lack thereof. I glance down at my stomach which is glistened with sweat and is quite toned if I do say so.

“Perhaps, but I don’t know if they would “eyefuck” or would simply just be jealous,” I say shrugging, but making sure not to miss the opportunity to use quotes around the word again.

“Oh please, like you don’t realize you’re fucking hot.” She immediately closes her mouth, tightening her lips, like they’re being zipped up. I can’t help but to smirk even more at her outburst, eyeing her carefully. Perhaps I do have a much needed upper hand.

I pour the coffee into the two mugs and hold it out to her. “Coffee?” I grin as she rolls her eyes, but takes it from me anyway.

“You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

“I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I like validation. Sue me,” I shrug as I sip from my cup of coffee, letting the warmth engulf me like a hug. I sigh comfortably and in contentment.

“How are you single?” I look up at her and eye her calculatingly. She seems to be genuinely curious which is never a good sign.

“Sometimes attractiveness isn’t enough to make people stick around,” I respond, finishing off my coffee and placing it in the sink. I walk around her to head to the bathroom but stop beside her. “By the way, I don’t care that you’re bisexual. I’m gay,” I add in barely a whisper walking down the hall and into the bathroom to clean up for work.

I park at the university with MacKenzie in the passenger seat. She immediately gets out of the car as I take my keys out to follow her. She immediately turns around and stops me.

“What are you doing?” She asks in a hushed tone to not make a scene around her classmates and honestly, it’s kind of adorable. It’s like she’s the embarrassed teenager who doesn’t want their parents around.

“I have to keep an eye on you,” I inform her as she shifts her bag on her shoulder while looking around her as people barely even notice us.

“No one here knows about the case. Remember, I’m an anonymous character witness? If people see you in my classes, they’re going to have questions, especially if you’re literally following me around,” she reasons and granted, I’m well aware of what this all entails; however, it doesn’t change the fact that her well-being is my business.

“Look, I’m only going in for lectures and labs, what is the worst that can happen in my classes? Would someone really try and come after me with a bunch of other people around?” She adds.

“You’d be surprised,” I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest to stand firm against my judgment. “But I get it, if anything seems out of whack though, put my number on speed dial #1. I’ll be in the building still, but unseen, understood?” I say, agreeing to her terms partially. She smiles happily and jumps into my arms.

“Thank you, thank you!” She says and pulls away, calming down and composing herself. “Listen, I’m just trying to keep some normalcy through all this. I literally quit my job over it because I was that terrified, so if I can just keep all this behind closed doors, it’ll just make me feel a lot better,” she explains and I finally relent, nodding. I understand what it’s like to want to be normal, but I can’t help but worry this is the wrong decision. Still, I go against my better judgment and let her have her freedom.

I walk in with her and place my number in her phone, on speed dial #1, as promised, and turn down the hallway. When I watch her enter the room, I keep myself set up against the wall of the door, unnoticed to her. I listen to her professor begin to talk about something in the realm of scientific theory.

I peak in briefly and see her staring ahead, concentrating on the information that is being relayed to her. I note the way her bottom lip tucks into her mouth as she glances down at her notebook to write down a particularly important piece of information. I can’t help the rising smile that crosses my lips at that. I turn away, not wanting to appear too creepy and stand there till her lecture is over.

By the time her lab rolls around, I have a level of respect for MacKenzie. She is incredibly dedicated and intelligent. When she left her lectures, I could see a few diagrams left by her professors on the chalkboard and just glancing at it for fifteen seconds made me confused.

We walk out of the lecture hall towards the science building. “So what are you studying?” I ask as I stroll beside her. She places a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“Forensic science, if you can believe it. Seems ironic now, doesn’t it?” She breathes out a laugh and I smile at her reply.

“Actually yes, but if you’re ever looking for either an internship or a job, the force could definitely use you,” I encourage and she smirks over in my direction.

“What? You implying you’ll miss me once this is all over?” She teases and I laugh it off as we reach the building. I go to open the door and hold it open for her to walk in.

“You haven’t been terrible.”

She laughs loudly. “Well, I’m thankful for that.”

We stop in front of a door which I imagine is where her lab is, but we still have a few minutes before she has to be in. We fall into a comfortable silence which is strange since silence tends to be awkward, but for some reason, with her, things could never truly be awkward. Embarrassing, yes.

“Did you always want to be a cop?” She asks and being me, I’ve already mentally prepared myself for this question to come up. It’s not really a conversation I have all the time, but as soon as people hear about my past they either are quick to show sympathy or give me respects. I don’t need sympathy, but I always expect respect simply because that’s just human decency.

“Not originally. I joined the military when I was eighteen,” I confess and she just continues to stare at me waiting for me to keep going. “I stayed in till I was twenty-four, went on three tours to Iraq, and after my third tour, I decided to get out. Was ready to make a career out of it,” I explain further as she hangs to my every word.

“What changed?” She asks and I look back at her with a sense of dread and sadness all mixed into one.

“My perspective?” It came out like a question, but I don’t think I have it in me to be any more descriptive than this. She looks down and gulps under my stare, before meeting my eyes.

“I—better get inside,” she says softly and I can’t help, but nod my reply. My words left me entirely. The look she gave me leaving me to question if I should have said anything at all.

More people have filed in and I listen to the professor begin his brief lecture as I see MacKenzie with her lab coat on and a guy next to her, who I assume to be her lab partner. She has goggles placed over her eyes, ready for instructions and honestly, her in her science gear makes her look sexy. I know I shouldn’t be looking at her this way, she is my charge, but is there really harm to check her out? She did check me out this morning, so it’d only make sense.

She walks away from her station to go grab chemicals as my phone buzzes with a text message. I look down briefly, then look back up and see she’s back to her station. She’s mixing chemicals together and I look around everyone else in the room at their stations, prompting my brows to knit together.

Something is wrong.

The reaction in her beaker is clearly different than everyone else’s. It’s bubbling—a lot. I pause to figure out the best course of action, but I find nothing as I pull the door open and rush towards her.

“Get down!” I yell at the same time as I’m pulling her to the ground, covering her head with my arms. As soon as we take cover, the beaker explodes. Shards shoot off in various directions and all I hear are screams from the other students as MacKenzie huddles into my body.

I pull away from her and chance a look at the remnants of the beaker. I look around the entire lab.

Someone in here just tried to kill MacKenzie.

[onewfantaesy]

Sneak AU: was there ever a time Taemin snuck out again after he had been caught?

Exactly one month and one week after the article was released, after he had been grounded and had basically all his freedom taken away for an entire month, Taemin was back in the room with the other members with his phone and his laptop and everything. He was also tip-toeing down the hall and changing into normal pants in the living room at one in the morning so he could go hang out with his friends again.

He knew he shouldn’t have done it, he knew he told everyone he wouldn’t do it again, and he knew that the company even made him release a statement a week after the original incident because parents and fans were complaining that he was being a bad influence for his fans that were still young.

“I’m sorry if my actions have had a negative impact on young fans and those who look up to me,” Taemin had been forced to say. “I won’t be doing it again, and I hope that everyone can forgive me and understand that I’ve learned my lesson. Thank you.”

He had been miserable for an entire month; he had no cell phone, no laptop, no privacy, and then parents across the country blamed him for anything bad their kids might be doing. It was completely unfair.

But now, as he put his hood over his head and power-walked to meet up with Jongin and Moonkyu, who were waiting outside the apartment building, he didn’t care if he told the entire country he wouldn’t be doing this again. It was fun. It was the only time he could hang out with his friends.

They went to meet up with the others at the park they usually went to. Taemin kept his hood up the entire time, kept a mask over his face, and he was grateful that no one brought any alcohol this time. They just swung around on the monkey bars and swayed on the swings as they talked. They even danced for a little bit, and it was fun. Taemin had missed this. And it wasn’t like they did it all the time, they didn’t even do it once a week. They only met once or twice a month usually, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

As they walked back home around four in the morning, they stopped at once of the twenty-four-hour convenience stores to get snacks and drinks. Taemin got a soda, and he sipped at it with his mask around his chin as they continued walking. 

The moment he parted ways with his friends, though, was when everything went to shit. He hadn’t noticed anyone following him, hadn’t heard any extra footsteps or heard any creepy giggling, but before he knew what was even happening, he was being bombarded by those creepy stalker fans. They had their phones pressed to his face, snapping picture after picture until the flash burned his eyes. They were all older fans, too, and that was the scary part. They pressed themselves against him, touched up and down his chest, and hoarded around him until he stumbled onto the ground. 

He spilled his soda all over the sidewalk, and he tried to crawl away so he could run. They ripped his hood off his head, then tore away the beanie he had on underneath it. His hair spilled down around his face; it was no longer as long as it had been, but it was still enough for them to grab at and tug on. 

“Please stop,” he begged. “Please, please. I’ll take a picture with you, I promise, I’ll sign anything, just please stop.”

He tried getting up again, but they pushed him back down, and the palms of his hands scraped against the cement, and his knees crashed down until the knees of his pants ripped and the skin was shredded and bloody. 

“Don’t you want to kiss me, Taemin?” a few of them asked, puckering their lips and trying to get close to his face. “Don’t you love us, Taemin? Show us that you love us, give us a kiss.”

“Stop, stop,” he cried. “Please, stop.”

He bit down on the sleeve of his jacket when he felt hands groping at his ass and between his thighs, and his screwed his eyes shut and just pretended like it wasn’t happening.

Taemin doesn’t know who it was that got them off of him, but he heard a man yelling for the girls to get away, and the moment there was an opening, Taemin pushed himself up and ran away as fast as he could.

They followed after him, though. And he kept looking back to see how far they were as he ran and ran and ran. As he was looking back at one point, he tripped over a dip in the sidewalk and fell again, his arm scraping against the ground and ripping open his jacket, and he banged his chin on the gravel. He didn’t have time to worry about how much it hurt, though, so he pushed himself up again and continued running.

The closest place he could get to was the company building. He ran up the steps, punched in the code with his blood-covered fingers, and rushed in to close the door and lock it behind him.

He saw them all run up to the glass door, pounding on it and taking pictures. Taemin ran again, and the motion-sensor lights went on with every step he took. He ran to the elevator, pressing the button continuously until the doors opened and he could take it to a different floor. He was afraid, at the rate the women were pounding on the glass doors and windows, that they would break it and come after him while stepping through broken bits of glass.

As he was wandering around the halls of one of the floors and trying to figure out how he was going to get back to the dorm before anyone woke up, he ran into one of the managers. At four-thirty in the morning. No one should have been there at four-thirty in the morning.

“Taemin?” he asked. “Is that you? What are you doing in here”

“What are you doing in here?” Taemin asked.

“Boa’s been staying late to practice,” he said. “I stay with her when she stays late. What happened to you, why are your clothes all torn up? Are you bleeding?”

“There, um, there are a lot of fans outside,” he mumbled. The manager put his hand on Taemin’s shoulder, led him down the hall, and brought him into the room where Boa was sitting against the mirror drinking water. “The, um, the crazy fans.”

“Were you sneaking out again?” Boa asked, rushing over when she saw the blood on Taemin’s knees. “What happened?”

“No one would’ve even known where I was or that I was even doing it if those stupid pictures weren’t released!” Taemin said, holding his head in his hands as he sat down on a chair. 

When he flinched away when Boa put a hand above his knee, the manager made him say what had happened. He told him how he went out around one, how he and his friends had just hung around the park and stuff until they decided to leave around four. How they got sodas at a 7-11, and how when he went towards the dorm and wasn’t with his friends anymore, a hoard of fans crowded around him, pulled at his hair, pushed him on the ground, and groped him.

A manager went to go call someone while Boa stayed with Taemin and cleaned off the blood and dirt and little bits of gravel out of his hands and knees.

“I can do it myself,” he mumbled.

“I know,” she said. “But I want to help you. You’ve had a rough night.” When he didn’t respond and only kept his head bowed, she frowned at him and tried to get into his line of sight. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“M’gonna get kicked out of SHINee,” he choked out after a minute. “I told everyone I wouldn’t do it again and the second I got my phone back and everything, I did it again anyway.”

“You’re not going to get kicked out of SHINee,” she told him. “Will you get in trouble again? Probably. But I think you really have learned your lesson this time, even if it was because of terrible circumstances.”

It was a very long morning, full of phone calls and the manager and Boa leading Taemin out through the back door where even more fans had gathered. They had to push through a crowd of people to get to the van that would take Taemin back to the dorm. By sunrise, there was a new article about how Taemin had snuck out yet again, but this time had been crowded by rabid fans that pushed him around and harassed him. The article even mentions how the photographer felt so terrible about what was happening that he intervened, giving Taemin enough time to get a running start to get away from them. There was even a picture of one fan wearing the beanie that had been ripped right from Taemin’s head.

It was a very long, long morning indeed.

[withshannon]

Chiang Mai: 28th November – 13th December 2019

We decided to get condominiums for accommodation for cooking our own food, to have a fridge and our own washing machine. It was a wee home away from home. It was nice to have a bit more space and our own freedom. It was a lot cheaper than the hotels and hostels because there’s two of us and by the time you add up two beds in a dorm, you’re better paying the extra couple of pounds to have your own apartment. Plus, I value privacy and it was something we needed for our own mental health after Nepal. In the first one we stayed about 15/20 minutes (walking distance) from the night Bazar where there are hundreds of food choices at the night markets. I loved the Ploen Ruedee night market, it had an edgy vibe to it like the ones in Copenhagen. It had the best Chicken Kebabs and mango sticky rice. We were a minute's walk from a Mini Big C supermarket and a 711 so we really lucked out with the location. The second one was close to the festival shopping centre and this was a lovely apartment with a smart TV, a pool and a gym. We were in our element. It was a bit further from the centre but it was a short grab journey away and the shopping centre had everything we needed food wise. A wee tip – the festival shopping malls have a cheap Thai food court with tasty food. You just need a card which can be picked up at the information desk and topped up with however much you want/need and you can go to different food stations and there is a decent variety. We used this quite a lot during our stay because we were about a 10 min walk away. The pool was absolutely freezing so we couldn’t go in, but we sat beside the pool and read books and chilled out. It was brilliant. I thoroughly enjoyed this condo and it was so cheap!

During our stay in the north we went to the Elephant Nature Park. After carefully researching different Elephant Sanctuaries we finally decided to go to the Elephant Nature Park 🐘 Only an hour’s drive from Central Chiang Mai, this park provides refuge to retired elephants who were used in the logging industry, performed in shows and those who have injuries from abuse 😭 the park also has a cat sanctuary and literally hundreds of rescued dogs. Each elephant has a caretaker who looks after them and ensures their wellbeing- what a dream job, chilling with your elephant bestie every day! If you're thinking of visiting Thailand please please please don't ride the elephants. The park no longer offers mud baths/bathing opportunities with the elephants to help with their rehabilitation and to allow a closer reality to living in the wild. I have so much respect for this park and their efforts to rescue and care for these animals. The elephants pictured are mum and son. It was incredible being so close to these incredibly intelligent animals, something I'll never forget.

In my last visit to Thailand we missed the north and focussed on the south because of my love for beaches. So, this time I was desperate to see what the North had to offer. I desperately wanted to see the White Temple in Chiang Rai. Chiang Rai is about 3-4 hours from Chiang Mai and we weren’t comfortable using the scooters/motorbikes and as Mr Meek eloquently put it “if you can’t use a scooter back home, you certainly can’t use one in Thailand”. We made the decision to go on a day trip to Chiang Rai and explore this beautiful temple with a guide. We knew we wouldn’t really explore Chiang Rai as much as we could because we wouldn’t go near the scooters so this was a cheap and decent alternative. It was a long and tiring day but worth it. We used the KKDay app to book our tour which was pretty cheap and included transfers and lunch for £20 each. If you need someone to organise everything for you when you’re short on time this is a great app. We also visited the Blue Temple which had the most stunning interior and design. It was a brilliant day but the Temples were so busy and Thailand is becoming so increasingly popular it’s hard to get that picture perfect moment where there isn’t anyone around.

We thoroughly enjoyed Chiang Mai and it was good to rest and recover, however, were really looking forward to the beaches of the south to celebrate Christmas and New Year.

[aureafaepoetry-blog]

The Remedy: A NaNoWriMo Novel

Yasmine Grey is a college freshman who struggles with depression as she finds the confidence to start and finish writing her first book.

I’m really excited about NaNoWriMo. This is my first year participating and even though I started late I feel like I’m making great progress. I mean, I wrote 17,751 words in 14 days!!! I know I’m behind but that's ok. Because life happens and I believe I will catch up and reach 50k before November ends. Anyway, here is an excerpt from my novel.

Chapter One:

You could tell me that the sky is a beautiful shade of orange and blue hues, but all I will see is this suffocating fog. That’s all I’ve been seeing for the past few years. A muted reality. No light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. An empty glass. Sad brown eyes holding oceans of tears that may never fall staring back at me every morning. I wonder if all my dreams are stored in these bags under my eyes. Is that why they get darker after every sleepless night?

Monday, August 21st Feeling Words: Sore and Fatigued.

I promised Julie, my high school counselor, that I would start writing in a daily journal again. Once I entered my senior year I got way too busy to write every day. And besides, I found myself feeling a lot better just talking to her during lunch break. The cafeteria was way too loud. I hope life is quieter in college. I doubt it. From what I’ve seen in the movies it’s worse… But I could always eat in my dorm room… I also promised her I would keep in touch. Were going to skype either once a week or once a month depending on how crazy classes get.

I was going to buy a new journal and school supplies once I settled in but my dad gave me a going away present. He brought me this beautiful light brown leather journal that looks like an envelope. It has this long thin matching leather string that wraps around three times. I don’t see a point in having just one string. I would rather have two strings so I can tie a nice bow. Not that I can tie a fancy looking bow or anything. I like the idea of being able to tie a nice fancy bow. I love the smell of it. It’s earthy yet sweet. It kinda smells like I’m walking through the woods after it rained in the spring. I love it. So… I tried to write this fantasy story I’ve been thinking about. It’s based on this dream I had a few weeks ago. I was in a forest alone with a white horse waving a wand trying to cast a spell on the horse but it didn’t work. Eventually, I threw the wand down in frustration and cried. Then my parents came and comforted me. They told me it was okay and that they still loved me. But I felt like they were disappointed in me because I wasn’t as strong as my sister. (I don’t have a sister in real life but I wish I did. I always wanted an older brother and a younger sister. But I’ll probably be an only child forever…) Ever since then I wanted to write about this girl who would do anything to be just as strong and vigilant as her sister and win her parents love. But when I sit down to write I can’t find the words. The world is so vivid in my head but I can’t find the words. I’ve been up since five this morning thinking about this story. I got one of my old journals out of the box and sat there for three fucking hours. Three fucking hours and this is what I produced:

She stood there swinging her wand wildly and yelling the chant over and over. But no matter what she did the horse didn’t sprout any wings nor even a feather. “I’ll never be able to go to witches school like my older sister,” She thinks to herself and sits on the tree stump behind her. She scans the forest for signs of her parents coming to look for her. Nothing but green and orange specks of sky peeking through the thick forest trees. She sighs. The horse snorts and moves closer to her bending his head down enough for her to rub him as if trying to comfort her. She rubs his snout and fishes for a few sugar cubes in her pocket. Before even getting them from her pocket the horse sticks his mouth down to chomp. She giggles “Can I at least get them out my pocket first?” The horse nods and backs away waiting patiently for his treat. She rewards him for his patience and he munches away with excitement. She lies down on the over-sized tree stump, watching the clouds go by and the sun dips below the horizon. Thinking of all her sister was able to accomplish before her age. Thinking of the high expectations she was supposed to meet before today. Thinking of her parent’s hidden disappointment behind their encouraging voices.

“Witches school… bending his head down for her to rub… sticks his mouth down to chomp… munches away with excitement…” this is shit. I know this is just a first draft but I feel like I could do better than this. I kept reading it over and over and over again trying to find better words to replace that garbage. But nothing. And I still can’t think of anything. Maybe I should just do what my mom says and focus on graduating college and starting a career. Working nine to five would be a lot easier than waking up at five in the morning to write bullshit for three solid hours and regret every word. I know if I told Julie any of this she would say something encouraging. I wish she could come with me. She could probably get a job as a counselor at this college. Do colleges even have counselors? I guess I’ll find out when I get there. My parents and I are taking turns driving to the campus. It’s a five-hour drive and I’m due to drive in three hours. I should take a nap until then.

We arrived at the campus at three pm. My parents and I finished unpacking my things and organizing my side of the room within the next two hours. It’s a lot smaller than I thought it would be. Two long twin beds were on opposite sides of the room. One against the wall next to the window overlooking the student parking lot. The other a couple feet from the door. And two desks beside each other against the wall across from the bathroom. And next to the bathroom was a shared closet. I think it should be big enough for two. I can probably put a divider in the middle so we could have privacy while getting dresses. Since I arrived before my roommate I got to choose which side of the room I want to live in for the next four years. I chose the side with the window. I kept the bed where it was but pushed one of the desks in front of the window. My mom insisted that we go shopping for curtains and carpet to add some color to the room. As much as I want to I would rather wait until my roommate gets here so we can pick colors and patterns together. For once she agreed with me. Speaking of roommates, I should be meeting with my roommate after orientation. All I know is her name is Melody King and she’s an Environmental Management major. I keep reading roommate horror stories to prepare myself for the worst. I thought it would help with my anxiety but it just made me more anxious to meet her for the first time. What if she’s a bitch or a slob? What if she’s inconsiderate and parties while I’m trying to study? What if she’s pushy and annoying? So many what if's and not enough time to prepare myself for the worst…

I can’t stop thinking about that story. I can’t stop thinking about those hours I wasted writing bullshit. I could have gotten a good night’s rest. But I didn’t and now my body feels like lead and I just want to lie down in my nice new bed and pretend that I don’t exist. My body has felt heavy all day. I’m not sure if it’s because I only got three hours of sleep or if it’s the depression.I have this feeling even when I get a full eight hours of sleep. It feels I have this wet wool blanket wrapped around me. It’s so heavy and slows me down. I feel like I’m moving through syrup or something. I can see my parents are worried about me because I’m moving slow and not talking much. They’ve been giving me the look. They want me to talk to them about how it feels and why I feel this way. They know how hard it is for me to explain to them. At least they got over the “it’s my fault you’re like this” speech. Or at least I think they did… I don’t know why I keep trying to write. I wish these ideas would stop coming to me. I hid my box of journals under my bed. Mom suggested I do that so it won't distract me from my studies. But now I can’t stop thinking about how she used to love when I shared my fantasy worlds with her. She used to be proud of my writing. But since I told her that I wanted to write books for a living she changed… I don’t understand it… I don’t understand her… Did I lose my talent? Did she lose faith in me? Did I have real talent or was she just being nice to me because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings? No… That can’t be because dad still loves my writing. I can always go to him when I’m inspired to write. I’m going to miss our late night chats about our favorite fantasy novels over hot chocolate. I’m going to miss telling him about the fantasy world I dreamed about. I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I’m actually going to miss my mom…

After walking around campus for an hour my parents and I grabbed an early dinner, late lunch before they drove back home. I finally have an hour to myself before orientation. I’m exhausted and I just want to sleep. I’m tired of being around so many unfamiliar people trying to make as many friends as possible. But the day isn’t over yet. I have orientation at 8:30 and I’ll be alone with my new roommate. Not looking forward to that but I just want to get it over with. Not exactly sure what I should do with this new freedom. No mom hovering over my shoulders making sure I’m keeping my grades up. No dad to share my stories with or discuss books we like. No more homemade meals. Although mom promised to drive five hours just to bring me leftovers once a month I highly doubt she’ll keep that up.

So I overreacted. My roommate is nice. Although I regret telling her about my depression I feel like we bonded a little. She has kind eyes and a soft voice. She looked a lot different than what I imagined. I thought she would be taller than me but were about the same height. I saw her unpacking some books that I have read and talked about with my dad. I’ll have to use those as icebreakers someday. She also seems to be keeping her side tidy so far. She threw away all her trash and laid out her textbooks on her desk with her spiral notebooks on top. Everything is color coded. I’m kinda jealous I wasn’t that prepared. I was going to go pick up my textbooks tomorrow and then get supplies. We made plans to explore the campus before classes start next week. So we know all the shortcuts in case we miss our alarm. I’m going to turn in early. I had a long day and I need to be well rested to take my ID picture tomorrow. Good Night…