#i miss how fucking sexy video games were

[tiffanyvalntine]

they don't make good video games like ps2 horror games anymore

[karlachismylife]

i told myself i'll take a break in my failing attempts to write a couple things on Karlach x Soap in english and go back to writing a couple other things in my first language for the upcoming fandom combat deadline

so here's a thing i wrote instead and it's neither of those :D

Very much inspired by my precious friend that is obsessed with some datesim I know nothing about and talks my ear off about her sexy chinese dudes while I make her listen to me simping for my dead scottish ADHD meow meow. We don't know shit about each other's fandoms but we're so excited for each other... Also excuse me if this idea has already been done (I swear I thought of it on my own, but I will tag anyone who's done this before if you send me a link) + my English writing still sucks.

I also encourage you to check out these smaus, they're brilliant and I somewhat looked at them when wrote Kyle's text messages and this wonderful thing about Ghost and Animal Crossing that also inspired me to look into these silly military men and mobile/video games.

Task force 141 and their reaction to their S/O playing dating simulator games

CW: gn!civilian!reader (if I slipped into one or the other gender somewhere, please tell me & I'll correct), mostly fluff with a bit of spice, pet names, mild cursing, unserious jealousy and banter, long-distance (Gaz), describing nudes and mild sexting (Gaz), soft Ghost, mentioned spanking (Price), mild dom!Price, alluded reader recieveing fingerng and oral (Soap)

Word count: ~5k

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

That silly app you downloaded because its (very compelling) ads were repeatedly shoved in your face became surprisingly convenient when Gaz got deployed and wasn't within reach for weeks. A slightly clay-looking guy on your screen didn't hold up in comparison to the smoothest bastard sergeant with the tightest grip on your heart, but a cute feature with app notifications stylized as loving text messages from the virtual boyfriend somehow helped cope with the radio silence from Kyle. You knew he would be fine, how could he not? You gave him a very proper goodbye kiss (and goodbye sex that was a bit more improper) for luck, and he was too damn good at his job to fail. You weren't going insane from worry, at least not more than usually.

But the loneliness, the fucking loneliness was a little bit more bearable when you still got your "good morning beautiful xx" and "thinking about you before bed" even though the font was wacky and some phrases were clearly poorly google translated. To unlock these little snippets you opened the app every day, usually tapping mindlessly on all the required interactions before going to sleep and eyeing some of the ingame wardrobe options that wouldn't work too bad on your man. In fact, you even took a screenshot of a nice suit - if tailored right, Kyle would look in it sharper than the tactical knife he knew so well. You just needed an opportunity to show it to him.

And the opportunity barged in with a sudden surge of texts right when you were already getting ready for some shut-eye.

Three weeks of muffled unease wiped out and replaced with that never-tiring giddy feeling bubbling inside as soon as you saw Kyle's name pop up on top of your screen.

"hi baby"

"finally can text, miss you terribly 😘"

"what are you up to angel?"

You could feel your own cheeks strain with the stupid smile plastered on your face. No doubt, Kyle texted you at the first opportunity - he was there, he was okay and he missed you. All sleepiness in your body withered away, leaving you energized at eleven pm, squirming in your bed as you rolled over to start vigorously typing back. You never knew how much time you both have to chat, unstable signal or simply never-ending duty could interrupt you at any given moment, so you had to get your fill of premium class Garrick right there and then - no matter how drowsy it would make you the next morning.

Eventually you sent him the screenshot you took without second thoughts:

"btw thought you'd look good in smth like this baby, what do you think?"

Instead of a normal reply on the topic, though, you recieved an immediate jab followed by short pause:

"the fuck is that baby? 🤣"

"wait i think i know"

"replacing me with a vr boyfriend already? jesus fuck angel i haven't been away even for a month"

"i'm wounded, truly. he doesn't even look that good and can't spell correctly. what a downgrade 😔"

If only you could communicate the muscle-straining eyeroll you had through text. Chuckling and snorting, you immediately came to defence of your pixel prince charming, simply for the sake of it.

"how dare you. he's not a mere replacement, this is true love, garrick 💕🥰❤️✨"

"look at the top, we're already level 29 intimacy"

"gonna get him to send me nudes soon, they unlock at lvl 30"

Gaz could probably hear your bratty giggles on the other side of the globe, sheets rustling as you wiggled in your bed, absolutely proud of your impeccably fine-tuned wit and properly excited for the upcoming smartass comeback, since Kyle would rather die than let you have a win. But you've already calmed down with your cheeks mildly flushed, and the messages were still left on read.

Weird. It wasn't the first time your chatting ended abruptly, but usually Kyle had time at least to tell you he had to go - maybe even exchange little "ily"s. Did the signal cut off? But it was good enough for him to download a picture even, surely he'd notice if it started lagging and tell you. Did something bad happen? An emergency? An ambush?

A slight frown etched in your face as you started unwillingly thinking of the worst. Then - in a moment - that little green circle signaling Gaz was online came back. And still no answer.

Did he... get actually upset? Over a fucking datesim app?

It was hard to believe. Impossible, even. Kyle was never prone to jealosy fits, smug bastard definitely knew how secure you two were. But maybe... maybe it was the fact that you were seeking comfort he couldn't provide? Being told you needed a whole ass app simply to tell you goodnight while he was god knows where, unable to hold you and cuddle you to sleep - that could sting.

Shit, you shouldn't have started this. Gaz wouldn't outright admit he felt even the slightest bit insecure over an unblinking 3D monstrosity with a sexy Korean voice. He'd think it was stupid - and he would be right, frankly, but in this case this wasn't completely unreasonable.

Already anxious, you put your thumbs back on the phone to type out a careful question, but before you could even think of a right way to formulate it the chat chirped and loaded in a bunch of attachments.

Absolutely scandalous. Hastly unndone uniform, sweaty shirt pulled up and - you knew it even if it was outside the frame - clutched in his teeth, bared in a self-assured smirk, belt unbuckled and hanging from the loops of pants pulled down just a bit; just enough for his hand to slip inside and gather into a delicious grasp around the bulge you knew was straining against his boxers. Fucking tease, pulling the elastic band with his thumb to let you see just the base of his cock - you had to swipe several mouth-watering closeups on his chest, v-line beautifully adorned with dark hair and that bloody hand you already ached to feel on your thigh, before you finally got your reward. Hard just from the thought of you, tip glistening with the pre-cum he definitely smeared all over specifically for that picture.

"wanted to ask if your pixel bf can beat these"

"but i think your silence already says enough 😏"

You groaned, belly warm with the familiar longing. What an angel of a man, finding time to somehow snap packs of perfect nudes in the middle of wherever he was. Already turning over to slide your hand down your body, you sent a very sulking "hate you garrick. first made me worried and now horny, shameless bastard" and got an obligatory "sure you do. i'll fuck that attitude outta you as soon as i get back angel".

Somehow all the need in a virtual replacement vanished after this chat. Not only did Kyle text you more regularly - sensing a competition maybe, huh? - but you also got yourself enough material to be comforted before sleep. Sure, you'd rather have your man there in person, but no perfect-looking anime prince could offer a view better than Kyle's flexed arms or a cheeky sneak peek of his plump ass and a smooth back arch snapped over his shoulder.

No wonder you two threw yourselves at each other when Gaz finally showed up home, tired and a little roghed up, but very much alive and pent up for you. Once you were done relieving some of that frustration and cuddled up after a nice, hot shower, though, Kyle nipped your earlobe teasingly.

"No such level to unlock this experience, huh, angel? Something your app boytoy can't provide."

He caught your arm before you could elbow him playfully and grasped you tighter aroung your waist, using his free hand to get his phone and hold it in front of your face.

"Besides, I think he likes me more."

"How the fuck did you get to level sixty, Garrick?!"

Simon "Ghost" Riley

"Twilight was peaking how many years ago? And they still have this stupid choice everywhere."

Simon, the unmoving domestic shadow spread in a comfortable sitting position on your couch for the daily quiet together time, turned his head lazily and gently squeezed your thigh, careful not to disturb your legs thrown over his lap as he leaned a bit closer with a mildly interested "Hm?"

"It's this dating game. They're making me choose between a vampire and a werewolf. Can't think of another conflict for the last decade, really? Why not elves versus orcs? They never make stories about sexy orcs. But there's a market for it! Why stick to the same broken record all the time? Or, I don't know, invent beef between fairies and mermaids!" You huffed in exasperation, waving your phone in a vague gesture meant to express your disdain for the lack of creativity in the supernatural romance visual novels department. Ghost's usual intense stare boring into your face could mean anything - from him silently judging you for lacking respect for the culturally impactful vampries-werewolves feud to a wordless question whether you were in the sexy orc enjoyers market.

But when he finally spoke, scarred lips slightly curled upwards in a hint of an amused smile and eyebrows raised, he asked what seemed to catch his attention much more than what fantasy creature you would like to bang.

"A dating game?" His smirk became more prominent, eyes narrowing as an indicator of him looking for a way to quip in the most unbearable way possible. "What's all that about, love?"

The fact that he didn't know wasn't that surprising, you'd be much more astonished if Ghost did know what a dating simulator game was, but the need to explain still caught you off guard, forcing you to pause with the expressive phone gesturing and actually try and describe the phenomenon.

"Well, it's a mobile game, where you, like... have to play through a story with the main thing being befriending and romancing characters. It's mostly reading a story, really, but you get dialogue options to unlock special scenes with your chosen romantic interest or you can give them gifts..." A stolen glance at Simon told you that he was surprsingly paying attention. "But there's often a plot too. The one I started recently is about, well, vampires and werewolves... a Twilight ripoff, basically, but the player gets to be Bella." You paused, gauging his reaction, but other than his calloused fingers kneading the meat of your thigh Ghost didn't even move, leaving you to look at him with suspicion mixed with amusement. "Want me to show you?.."

Finally, his hand stopped its methodical massaging, only to pat your thigh approvingly and help you sit up, cozily snuggled up to the man whose hoodie you shamelessly stole just to wear around him. Wrapping his muscular arm around you, Ghost leaned his head against yours and prepared for the highly educational lecture on the world full of opportunities to get turned down because of having too low approval with the character.

You showed him the exact story that got you so riled up, explained the quite primitive mechanics behind gaining attraction points with the characters and rehashed the entire plot up to the point where you were stuck now - the one where it was obvious the game wanted you to pick a side. Simon listened carefully, gruff chuckles at some of your grumbling and a lot of very insightful commentary on each and every character ("that one's got Johnny's fucking mighty schnotz" and " 'course he's a fucking twat, look at his bloody necktie, a hemp one would be an improvement on 'im"), inculding your own avatar that you spent considerable time making to look like you wanted.

"That supposed to be you, love?" He didn't even try to mask the snarky tone, and you definitely prepared to be offended. You put so much thought into the character looks! So what if they didn't match your real ones fully? It's the game limitations, not your fault. "Hmph. Maybe good enough for these two muppets to fight over. But I reckon I like my version better. Comes with high-quality visuals."

His arm tightened around your shoulders, pulling you up for a short and sweet kiss, rough thumb stroking your jawline tenderly and pressing up under your chin when Ghost pulled away with a crooked smirk, shattered with scars into an artful mosaic.

"Trying to get your approval higher, sir?" You teased, eyes darting between his smiling - what a view, honestly - eyes and ready to be kissed again lips. His response was predictable. "It's working, innit, love? Think there's enough for a special bonus scene yet?"

Despite you clearly pretending to think and count his imaginary attraction points, Simon already started pulling you up into his lap, holding you securely and running his fingers along the curve of your back. "Might need a little more convincing, gamer. You didn't even bring a special gift to this date." Ghost's half-lidded eyes sparkled with hidden competitevness and his chest rumbled with a deep chuckle as he reached out to take your phone out of your hand softly.

"Gave you the hoodie. It counts." Ignoring your not very convincing protests ("It's mine already, of course it doesn't count!"), he tapped something on your screen and then put the phone away, wrapping his arms back around your form and slowly leaning into a tangled cuddlepile in an almost lying position. All your squirming successfully restrained with a bearhug, you huffed and placed your chin on Ghost's chest, looking up at him. He was there, with you, but deep in his gaze you noticed a certain swrling cloud of thoughts. Reading Simon's eyes was a must with him, he knew you could and didn't ever hide them from you.

"What are you thinking about?" You carefully inquired, running your hands over his shoulders and squeezing gently, a habit helping both of you to ease some tension. Simon blinked, tilting his head slightly, and let out a small sigh, seeking the right words. "You're not playing that game because I'm not doing enough, are you, lovie? 'Cos if you are, I'd rather you tell me what's wrong."

Always straight to the point. At least, when he finally decides to speak up. The big, scary dog worried about a silly mobile game as his competition? Cute. But the seriousness in his eyes called for a proper answer, not a teasing joke or a simple "aww, don't worry".

"You're doing more than enough, Simon, and you know it. It's a game, just living out my fantasies as the main character. But I can delete it if it makes you uncomfortable, it's no big deal, you know?" The tiniest bit of tension you felt underneath your fingertips disappeared, leaving Ghost sinking even further into the couch with you properly wrapped in his protective embrace.

"Nah, gorgeous, you keep playin' whatever shite you wanna be playin'. Just promise to keep me updated on the bloke so I can upstage him in every way." His voice got muffled since he buried his face in your chest, eyes closed peacefully and pure bliss written in all the relaxed features. Cradling his head, you hummed in agreement, but then perked up again.

"Wait, what bloke? You picked one of them for me?" - "Mhm." - "Oh come on, Simon, what happened to the freedom of choice!" You could feel his smile get more prominent despite being hidden in the softness of your chest covered with the thick hoodie material. "Which one did you choose? The vampire 'cause he's wearing all black?"

"Nuh-uh. The other one. The mutt."

You giggled at his choice of words and let out a quiet "oi" when Simon pinched you for disturbing his calm enjoyment of a "bonus scene" with the chosen romance option, that being you.

"Why? You're a Wolf Man fan or something?"

"'f course I am, love. He's British."

Captain John Price

When you saw the notification that the game you got sucked into with the active help of your friends got a "sound update", you knew what that meant - they finally added English voiceover lines for every single hunk of a man you had in your virtual harem, and you couldn't wait to hear what voices they gave your favourites. Given the nature of the game, you decided to put your earbuds on and started listening through the whole voicelines library, busying your hands with mundane tasks like folding laundry. John was sitting in the kitchen, fully immersed into his reading - potentially work-related. Or at least enthralling enough for him to miss your flushed cheeks or periodical giggling.

But no matter how important his reading was, what he couldn't miss was the sultry male voice coming out of your phone with a whispered "Wouldn't you love that, bunny?". Of course the parinig connection between your phone and the wireless earbuds had to get interrupted exactly when you were pouring yourself a cuppa and couldn't even drop the kettle in order to shush the suggestive purring of your digital fave.

You could feel Price staring at you. You could practically hear his bushy eyebrows slowly rising as he patiently waited for you to say something first. You were fully contemplating brewing yourself some poison instead of tea to avoid getting confronted by your man who just heard someone call you bunny on the phone.

So when you didn't start first, John, more amused than anything - he knew you too well to read through all your tiny microreactions and conclude that this wasn't hardcore evidence of an affair, but something much more suitable for future teasing (were you listening to porn or something? a naughty audiobook? oh so many golden opportunities to make you squirm under the steel gaze of the captain) - asked very nonchalantly: "What was that, darling?"

"What?" There was no point in pretending you didn't know what he's talking about, but you still tried. If anything, it allowed you to stall while you very hesitantly turned around and saw John and his smile, not even a hint of sterness in the round plumpness of bearded cheeks and little crow's feet in the corners of his eyes. "What was what, honey? You want some tea too?"

A futile attempt at deflecting and bribery rolled into one. You were lucky you were not his subordinate. You were unlucky the voice of some other man, dripping with mirth, came back into your ear once the next voiceline loaded in and the connection with your earbuds got restored. This was equal to admitting your crimes in front of the judges, but you slowly took your phone out of your pocket and hit pause.

"Does the tea come with an explnation who's the bloke whispering in your pretty ears, bunny? 'Cos if so, I'll take a cuppa, thank you very much."

He was beaming. Leaned back in his chair, knees wide apart and burly arms folded on his chest, Price wanted to have a wee little pause in his serious reading, and watching you squirm was the best distraction and brain-reloading he could ever get.

"I-it's not like that, I promise." Was that a bead of sweat running down your nape? John grunted, cocking an eyebrow and pushing his chin into his chest to stare at you from an angle that best conveyed that "I am not convinced, love" look. "It's just a little game, John, promise. Not a real man, just a made-up character."

Those piercing eyes narrowed even more, silently measuring you up for potentially bullshitting him, and then a heavy hand patted the broad thigh. An order, not an invitation (an order you could always disobey, though...)

"Show me."

Forgetting the option to disobey with little consequences, you hung your head down and dragged yourself and your fresh cuppa over to John, settling in his lap. The tea didn't even make it to the table, he snatched it from your fingers, careful enough not to spill, and sipped loudly, patting your side condescendingly. Any more stalling could result in various stages of burning buttocks, so you complied with the demand without Price repeating himself and opened the app, disconnecting your earbuds in the process.

He clearly wanted to hear that embarassing shit.

Your explanations of what a datesim was seemed to amuse John greatly - knowing his love for farming games, you made sure to mention all the best ones mixing the two genres, clearly trying to sweeten the deal.

"So wha', sum muppet in your phone callin' you bunny and you like 't? Maybe I should start too, huh?" You had to close your eyes to stop the internal screaming, and John's gruff chuckle hit your burning ear with a gentle puff. "But these, erm..." - "Companions." - "Riiight, these companions, they ain't whispering something... naughtier, are they?"

There was a hint of seriousness in his question, so you opened your eyes again and turned to look at him. His face was still smiling calmly, but the expectation was that of an honest and direct answer.

"Well, they do have more explicit scenarios and voicelines..." - "They talkin' dirty to you, eh? Guess I should step up my game." He flexed his jaw and leaned even closer, brushing his slightly chapped lips over the tender shell of your ear, soft beard tickling you and leaving you helpless. "Can't have my sweetheart wooed by sum app game fockers, can I? C'mere you little bunny, Imma show you sumthin' to hop on."

He stood up suddenly, lifting you with a soft grunt and dragging you away from the forgotten phone and empty cup. No amount of "John!" squeaked out could save you from that bear of a man groping your ass before throwing you onto bed and climbing on top. His weight squeezed the air out of your lungs as he roamed his big palmes all over your sweet body, even more enthusiastic about the impromptu break in his work.

"Ugh, fine, Johnathan Price, I won't be listening to the spicy dialogues! Just let me finish my-" Absolutely futile, your plea to get back to housework you had planned got cut short by a deep kiss, John's tongue sliding in your mouth as the most efficient (okay, maybe, second most) gag he could use on you. Your hands, previously pressed against his furry chest in an attempt to push him off, relaxed and buried themselves in his thick hair, ruffliing it and tugging him closer by the strands. A low grunt let you know what you already knew and felt much lower - John fully approved both that and your promise to keep away from the horny digital harem.

"Why even bother with 'em bloody games when you can 'ave the real thing, huh?"

John "Soap" MacTavish

"Whit are ye smiling at there, bonnie?"

Before you could even process the question and come up with any answer (excuse) about the silliest giddy smile that a cutscene in your chosen romance route got out of you, your massive - the only way to not be thrown off by Johny "Can't Sleep Still" MacTavish - bed creaked underneath the impressive weight of a fine Scottish specimen. Like a curious pup, Soap squeezed his head through the loop of your arm, earning himself a choking cuddle in the process, and stared into your screen.

"No, Johnny, piss off! It's personal!" You scrambled to turn your phone away from him and held it to your chest, a traitorous warmth in your cheeks threatening to give away what kind of personal it was. Of course, Soap caught on immediately, playful glint in his eyes as he simply yanked the phone out of your grip and turned over onto his back, shamelessly using you as a pillow while he unlocked your screen (why the fuck were you two so trusting and shared passwords!) and looked at the animated cutscene.

And why did it have to be the first spicy one you finally unlocked?

"What's tha'? Didnae peg ye fur a hentai type, bonnie." Soap watched the looped animation for a few more seconds while you wrestled against his heavy fucking carcass helplessly. With a single tap he closed the cutscene and let out an amused hum when met with the continuation of your unlocked chapter. "Och, so ye're reading smut too? Naughty."

You squirmed visciously, fighting for your dignity as he started reading aloud through the desciption of what didn't make the cutscene. The experience was downright horrible, humiliating and arousing at the same time as Johnny's thick brogue and mocking tone killed every ounce of spice in the steamy scene and somehow added new ones. Along with his stuttering. This lad... you even tried to grab his arm and chew on the meaty muscle in hopes of distracting him, but he didn't even flinch, simply pulling his limb out of your grasp and putting it behind his head comfortably. Outraging.

"Slender aristocratic fingers squeezing supple..." he smacked his lips so loudly that you groaned, "...flesh nae hard enough tae leave marks, but enough tae el... elicit pleasure, his breath hot in yer ear, whispering... Hauld yer horses- how come is yer name 'ere, bonnie? Who's writing this fur ye?" You nearly bounced off the bed when Soap suddenly sat up straight, relieving you from his (quite welcome, to be fair) burden, and frowned at your phone, scrolling through the erotc piece as if he could figure out who was the author just from reading it carefully enough. The pout he turned to you with was nothing short of absolutely heartbreaking. "Who's tha' "Laird Sebastian" prick writing a' kinds of nasty shite he wants tae dae tae ma' leannan? Am ah nae enough fur ye, bonnie? Dae ye wanntae leave me fur some posh bastard wi' a stick so far up his arse tha' it pokes outta his yapper?"

It was so obvious that Soap was just taking the piss, but his bottomless puppy eyes with the longest lashes fluttering as if on the verge of tears were working their dark magic, crashing your train of thought like a whole gang of outlaws from the Wild West and coercing you into making an apologetic expression and reaching your arms pleadingly for a hug. "Aw, come on, Johnny, it's just a-"

"Ah dinnae think tis a good idea, love. Ah dinnae have slender aristocratic fingers, wha' if a'm awful lot o' a commoner tae yer tastes..." Soap tilted his chin up, a perfect depiction of dignity suffering horrible offence, and turned away defiently, immediately peeking back at you from the corner of his twinkling blue eye. You knew those little smiling creases too well to miss them forming despite him holding a pout quite successfully, so you scoffed, still slightly flushed from being caught red-handed, and rolled your eyes, snuggling up to Johnny from behind and starting to kiss behind his ear.

"I'm so, so sorry, love of my life. No posh bastards come nowhere near you, you're my favourite commoner. Fuck Lord Sebastian-" You realized you chose the wrong wording when Soap couldn't hold back a snort. "Aye, well, seems lik' ye were planning on doing exactly tha-" - "Oh shut the fuck up, MacTavish!"

Shut the fuck up he did, turning back to face you abruptly and tackling you into the sheets, lavishing kisses with his searing hot lips all over your face. A real mutt pouncing the handler he has no respect and all the love for. There was no choice left for you other than wrap all your limbs around Soap and writhe underneath him, nearly missing that very inconspicuous way he reached his arm out and dropped your phone on the nightstand before cradling your head for much deeper, sloppier kisses.

"Gonna show tha' laird sod how tae fuck mah bonnie real good, aye? Mak' ye come wi' thae fingers right 'ere, nae aristocrat bullshit." Lapping up your neck with his wet tongue, Soap planted a greedy kiss right underneath your jaw and sucked at the soft skin until it showed a little pinkish hue. The bastard was set on making you sing for him, big rough palms grabbing handfuls of your flesh, squeezing and massaging while Johnny kept decending down your body with clear determination. "C'mon, leannan, let me hear ye. Say yer ol' Johnny's better than tha' bawbag Sebastian."

Sliding your hands over his broad shoulders, you held his nape before tugging on his slightly outgrown mohawk, your own head falling backwards in an exhausted yet adoring sigh.

"You know it's just a game, right, loverboy? A dating simulator, not a real thing? Oi, watch it!" A sharp gasp escaped your lips as Soap chomped on your side and immediately nuzzled into your stomach to blow raspberries into the soft plush, catching you once you started squirming and giggling. No intention of letting you catch your breath until he heard what he wanted. "Fine! Fine, Johnny, you are so, so much better than Lord Sebastian."

Satisfied, he loosened his grasp on you and lifted his head, grinning like he's just won you over from somene actually threatening in terms of romance. Hooked his fingers into your housewear bottoms, slowly tugged them down and started trailing hot-mouthed kisses down from your solar plexus, sky blue eyes glazing over with the never-satiated hunger for your taste on his greedy tongue.

You held your breath. A joke was itching inside your mouth, begging to be let out, dancing on the tip of your tongue...

"You're lucky I didn't choose Duke Aaron's route. That's some serious competion."

"Och, away 'n bile yer heid, bonnie!"

Thank you for reading! I appreciate all interactions, likes, reblogs, comments and requests (send in anything for now! I can filter them myself, but I am open to smut, including rare kinks and some dark themes. Keep in mind though that I am limited by my skill & overall prefer sugary fluff. I will write for any of the task force 141 and baldur's gate characters, including parings, poly, x reader and x OC), I will write drabbles, headcanons and whatever else formats you can think of.

Also any corrections are welcome as long as you're not being mean! Thank you <3

[jordanli-dribbles]

Play Date

Jordan Li x Fem!Reader | 3.8k words

A smutty one-shot about Jordan crashing your COD play 'date'.

Tags: Situationship, includes both of Jordan's forms

(I haven't written in months, and thought I would try something new. Story is written with mixed pronouns: He/She/They)

It was Friday night, and you and your friend Aiden sat cross legged on the floor your backs resting against the couch playing video games. You were sitting shoulder to shoulder laughing loudly as you played Call of Duty.

“Bastard, you shot me!” You yelled, your elbow digging into their ribs. “I’m on your team, fucker!” He just laughs and shrugs as you adjust your headset waiting for the next round. You grab your control ready for the next round, exclaiming “Game on, jerk!”

Just as the round was about to start the door to your dorm swings open harshly. The door knob smacking against the wall loudly. Jordan storming into the room, her curled bob bouncing with every angry step.

“What the fuck, Jordan!” You exclaim, quickly taking off your headset to glare at them from the floor, watching as they walked towards you.

They paused mid-stride when they noticed you weren’t alone. “Who’s this?” they asked harshly, pointing at Aiden, who was still playing next to you, oblivious to Jordan’s angry glare and harsh tone.

“Aiden, Jordan.” you say, pointing between them both. “Jordan, Aidan.” you finish, pointing in the opposite direction.

Aiden places his controller on the floor next to him, taking his headset off turning to face you with an amused raise eyebrow. You smile at him apologetically. While Jordan starts to walk towards you both slowly, shifting to their larger form. You rolled your eyes, they had a habit of shifting to their male form when trying to get their point across. Which you found idiotic as they were much more intimidating in their 5’2” form.

“And why is he here?” Jordan says harshly, glaring at Aiden. You shrug, picking up your controller to log off the game.

“What’s with the 20 questions?” you say, with a raised eyebrow. You're being a brat on purpose, trying to see how much you can rile them up as your eyes stay locked on the TV.

Jordan huffs, brushing their fingers through their hair. “You weren’t answering your phone,” he says pointing at the your phone on your floor with his chin, “or the fucking door.” Jordan continues glaring at you now.

“Oh,” you say nonchalantly, picking up your phone from the floor. Well, look at that… you had several messages and missed calls from Jordan. Karma is a bitch, the asshole had been ignoring you whole week.

“Huh…guess I missed them,” you say casually, still staring at your phone. “We were kinda busy.” Aiden snickers besides you, a small smirk on their lips as he looks from you to a very angry Jordan.

“Busy with what?” Jordan says through clench teeth. You turn towards Aidan, giving him a small smile before turning towards Jordan whose burning glare could freeze hell. Fuck, you love their sexy glare. You lean back against the couch, crossing your arms with a mischievous grin.

“See...I would tell you, but I don’t really wanted too.” You say with a playful pout. Aiden’s soft chuckles the only sound in the room. You were enjoying this too much, ridding Jordan up was one of your favorite past times, especially after they ignored you all week.

Jordan glare turns murderous as their eyes trail down your exposed legs. You had a habit of kicking off your jeans as soon as you entered your dorm. Walking around in just a loose shirt and panties. Their eyes linger on your exposed thighs for a moment, you shift to cross your legs feeling a blush spread on your cheeks, your nipples hardening under their heated gaze as you gripped the hem of your shirt lower down your thighs.

Fuck, they were so hot. Their death glare doing nothing but turn you on more. You bit your lower lip, watching their eyes snap up to your face, their darken eyes burning into yours.

Fuck, you love how intense and possessive they are, it made you fucking hot.

See, Aidan had dropped by earlier to return a textbook. You met him a few weeks ago in an art history course you were taking as an elective. He was super sweet and you both shared the same humor and love for video games. He also had absolutely no interest in you as you did not have the right body part, if you get the meaning so when he dropped by earlier you didn't even try to put pants on.

You were in the middle of an epic game session, when Jordan bursted in. Aidan, knew about your complicated relationship with Jordan. He found the entire thing hilarious, he was currently having a blast seeing the famous Jordan Li so fired up. They didn't run in the same circles as Aidan was in Performance Arts and the only person Jordan knew from that school was Emma.

You both glare at each other in silence, while Aidan sat quietly next to you smirking. The tension between the two of you was so thick, that it would have taken a chainsaw to cut through.

Jordan took a deep breath rubbing their hand down their face and releasing a heavy sigh before shifting back to their female form, the change was instantaneous. It was the one thing that always threw you, how fucking quick they could shift. If you blinked you would of messed it, it was amazing.

They stalked towards you, their eyes never leaving yours. They grab your wrist, pulling you up, a yelp of surprise leaves your mouth. You turn to stare at Aidan, who rolled his eyes at the dramatics. You were about to open your mouth to say something to him. But Jordan had other plans, as soon as you stood up, she pulled you towards her and kiss you deeply.

You let out a small yelp in surprise, before kissing her back. She wraps an arm around your waist pulling you closer. Her kiss is rough, demanding, as she bites down on your lower lip. You gasp, allowing her tongue to slid into your mouth. Her hand gripping your ass, your shirt riding up from their grip. You moan, pressing yourself closer against her chest.

You could feel them smirk against your lips, as you melted in their embrace. Your hand tangling itself in their hair, as you deepen the kiss completely forgetting that Aiden was still there as Jordan claimed your mouth and soul.

Jordan rips their lips from yours in a loud smack. Her lips kiss swollen and her eyes burning with a dark need. She turns to Aiden, who still sitting on the floor.

“Fuck off." Jordan said with a glare, her eyes narrowing and jaw clenching in frustration. Aiden laughed, the sound echoing around the room, and stood up with his hands raised in a gesture of mock surrender as he walked towards the door.

"Well this was fun," Aidan jokes, "I'll call you later, darling." he said giving you a wink before leaving closing the door quietly behind him.

"Darling?" Jordan hissed, their fingers digging deeper into your ass.

You roll your eyes, "Jealous?" you tease with a smile.

Jordan's response was to throw you onto the bed, your body bouncing on the mattress. In an instant, Jordan was straddling you, pinning you to the bed. Their dark brown hair falling into her face, the way the light was hitting their eyes made them seem lighter than usual.

"Do I need to fucking remind you that your mine," Jordan says in a growl, their lips capturing yours in a brutal kiss. She sucks on your bottom lip, pulling it into their mouth before letting it go. Your fingers tangling themselves in their hair again, pushing their lips closer. Your hips grinding into theirs, your right leg hooking around their waist to bring them closer.

“Yes,” you murmur into their mouth. You weren't sure if their question was hypothetical, but you loved pushing their buttons.

"Fuckin’ brat," Jordan groans into your mouth, their hands grabbing onto the hem of your shirt, pulling it up. You lifted your arms, as they pull it off. You reach for the hem of their shirt, but they swat your hand away.

"No," Jordan says with a smirk. You pouted, as their mouth attached itself to your neck. Biting, sucking, and licking the skin there. You groan, grinding your hips against their, their left hand moving from your hip to the bed beside your head, as they ground their hips against yours.

"Fuck," you hiss, as Jordan nips at your pulse point.

"Mine." Jordan growls, their right hand moving to squeeze your breast. Their fingers tweaking your nipple, you buck into their hand.

"Yet...you..ignored me all week," You say through gasps as their mouth sucks and licks at your right nipple, their hand still fondling the left. Your back arching off the bed.

Jordan chuckles, "So that why you're being a brat?" they say, as their mouth moves down your body. Nipping, and licking at the your skin on the way.

"Mm," you hum, as they plant wet kisses on your hips. Their hands pulling your panties slowly down your legs as their mouth continues to place kisses and bites on your legs and thighs. They drop on their knees by the bed, pulling your body towards them as they hook you leg over their shoulder. You raise yourself on your elbows wanting to look at them. Your eyes connect as you stare at each other. Both you breathing heavily as you laid fully naked on your bed, your legs open wide while their remain fully clothes.

They cock their eyebrow at you, giving you a mischievous smirk before saying, "Don't worry, baby. I'm gonna fuck the brat out of you." You didn't have time to process their words before their mouth was on your pussy, sucking your clit hard.

"Oh, fuck." you gasp, dropping onto the bed as they continue their assault on your clit. Sucking, and flicking their tongue against the sensitive bundle of nerves. You grab onto the bed sheet, throwing your head back. You could feel them chuckle, their fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs. They bite down on your clit, and you gasp. Your hand shooting towards their hair, your fingers tangling themselves in their curls as their tongue pushes past your folds and inside you.

"Oh, god....yes!" you whimper, grinding your pussy against their mouth. They moan, their fingers digging into your thighs as their tongue thrust in and out of your pussy. Your back arching off the bed, your hands tightening around their hair as their tongue curls inside you.

"Jordan," you whimper, "Please." Your hips bucking against their face, your grip on their hair tightening as they continue to fuck you with their tongue. Jordan chuckles, their tongue pushing further into your pussy. You whined, their fingers digging into your thighs and you know that you'll have bruises later.

"Please, fuck, Jordan." You moan loudly.

They suck on your clit, their eyes never leaving yours as they continue to fuck you with their tongue. "Fuck, I missed your taste." Jordan says, as their tongue plunged in and out of your cunt. Their voice muffled against your pussy. They breathing harshly against your skin. The sound of them, eating you out loud and obscene and it just turns you on even more.

"You are such a brat," Jordan says through licks, "And I fucking love it." They thrust two fingers inside of you harshly, as your mouth falls open from the intrusion. "Means, I get to punish you." They groan as your walls clenched around their fingers, your hips rolling with each thrust.

"My fucking brat." Jordan groans, their tongue moving along the folds of your cunt, as their fingers moved in and out of your slick entrance.

"Fuck, Jordan!" You cry out, as their fingers curl and twist inside of you. Their tongue lapping at your clit. You grind against their fingers, the pressure building up inside you. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, desperate to fall over.

"That's it, baby. Ride my fingers." Jordan says, their mouth sucking on your clit. Their eyes boring into yours, "You look so fucking beautiful, baby. Your tight little pussy, riding my fingers like my dirty little slut."

"Fuck, I'm close." You whimper, your hips rocking faster. You could feel their eyes on you, as their tongue flick at your clit.

"Scream my name, darling," they say with a sarcastic tone, watching as you fucked yourself against their hand. Their mouth sucking on your clit, as their fingers curl and twist inside you hitting all the right places.

"Oh, fuck!" You cried, as the pleasure builds. "Jordan!" You scream, as their mouth closes around your clit and sucks hard. Your orgasm hits you suddenly, and you see white stars as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your thighs clenching, your body shaking as Jordan continues to lick and suck at your clit, drawing your orgasm out your body jerking from each flick of their tongue.

"Good girl." Jordan say, giving your clit a long lick, "You taste fucking delicious." They give you a shit eating grin, licking their lips. You gasping for air, your legs trembling the pleasure rolling through your body. Jordan slowly pulls their fingers out of your pussy, their tongue following suit. Licking their fingers clean before giving your thigh a soft kiss over the bruises their fingers left behind. They stand up, their eyes meeting yours as they lick their lips slowly. You watch as they pull their shirt off, tossing it to the side, their shorts and boxers following after as they climb up your body. Their naked form crushing yours, their mouth attaching itself to your throat, biting and licking at the sensitive skin, marking you. You release a soft whimper as they bite down hard, sucking the tender skin, before pulling away to stare down at you.

You lift your hand, brushing a piece of her hair behind their ear as they start down on you.

"Darling?" You say with a teasing grin. They can be so petty sometimes.

Jordan scuffs, ignoring your comment leaning down to kiss you instead. Their mouth covering yours, their tongue pushing past your lips. You moan into the kiss, your hand tightening in their hair, while the other wraps around their shoulders pulling them closer. Your hips grinding against theirs.

Jordan chuckles, the noise getting swallowed up by your mouth, as they rock their hips against yours. Their lips trail down your jaw, as they continue to move their hips. Shifting, instantly to their male form. Their rock hard cock, grinding against your dripping wet cunt.

"Jordan," you moan, as their hips rut against yours. You can feel the tip of their cock rubbing against your swollen clit, the sensation driving your overstimulated body insane.

"You want my cock baby," Jordan says, his teeth biting down on your shoulder. "Want me to stretch your pretty little pussy?" Jordan asks, their fingers brushing the hair off your forehead, as his hips thrust against yours, the crown of their dick pushing past your folds, teasing your entrance.

"Fuck," you groan, their hands cupping your breasts. His thumb circling your nipples as their mouth continues to bite and suck at the skin of your neck. You were getting stimulation from all sides, their fingers, their mouth, their dick.

"This what you want, baby." Jordan teases, as their cock pushes past your folds, their crown stretching your entrance before entering you inch by inch. They thrust their hips forward, sheathing their cock completely inside you in a sudden deep thrust.

"Mm fuck," you whimper, as their thick cock stretches and fills your begging cunt. Their hips, rolling slowly as he bottoms out. They still for a moment, allowing you time to adjust, your head tilting up at the full sensation. Your lips parts, eyes close as Jordan rolls their hip, their mouth latching onto the base of your neck, biting and sucking on the sensitive skin.

"God, your so fucking hot," Jordan says, as their hands grab at your thighs, wrapping your legs around their waist. You wrap your arms around their neck, as they begin to rock their hips. They push their cock deep into your pussy, rolling their hips before drag their cock out and thrusting it back in. Their movements slow and steady, oh so very deep.

"Oh god," you moan, as their cock hits every nerve inside of you, their lips still attached to the base of your throat. They bite down on the spot, hard, a deep thrust of their hips as their teeth sink into your skin.

"Fuck, Jordan," you moan, your hand tangling itself in their short brown hair. "Please, Jordan, I need...I need." Your words gargled with each thrust of their hips.

Jordan chuckles, the low rumbled sending shivers down your spine. "What do you need, baby?" they ask, their voice raspy and deep. Their hands tighten on your hips, the thrusting of their cock, slow and deep.

"More," you moan, your eyes close as Jordan buries their dick deep inside your pussy rolling their hips making you feel every inch of him.

"Yeah, baby. You want me to fuck you?" Jordan says, as their hips pull back and snap roughly, back into you. "Want me to fucking own you?" They growl into your ear, as their thrusting become deeper and rougher.

"Yes...fuck, yes" You gasp, as they begin to fuck you harder and faster, their hips slapping against yours, the sound loud and lewd. Their hand coming up to wrap around your throat. Their thumb resting on your quickening pulse, squeezing lightly.

"Eyes on me, baby." Jordan orders, their hips slamming against yours. You force your eyes open, your gaze locking onto Jordan's, their pupils dilated. Their hips still, before thrusting themselves deep into your aching pussy. You gasp, your eyes rolling back, but they tighten their grip around your neck.

"Eyes." They growl, and you whimper. Your hand grabbing onto the one wrapped around your neck, your eyes locking back onto theirs.

"Eyes on me when I fuck you!" They growl, their hips snapping roughly. You whimper, nodding desperately.

"Fuck," Jordan groans as your pussy clenches tightly.

"So fucking perfect." They say, sucking your bottom lip into their mouth as their cock pounds into your pulsing pussy. Your hand tightens in their hair, pulling their lips against yours, your tongue plunging into their mouth.

"Mine," they growl, and you moan into their mouth. "All fucking mine." They snarl, their lips pressing against yours in a rough kiss. Their teeth biting down on your bottom lip.

"Yes…Jordan." You whimper, their thrust becoming more frantic. "Yours, only yours." Jordan groans as you clench around them, their thrust slowing down but deepening with every thrust.

"Fuck…" You cry out, the pressure inside of you building, "Fuck, yes. Yours, baby." You whimper, and they groan. Their hand tightening on your throat, their hips snapping into yours.

"Your going to come for me baby?" Jordan says, as their hips roll against yours, your swollen clit rubbing against their pubic bone. "Come for me, baby. I'm so close." They groan, and you whimper.

"Fuck, you are so beautiful." Jordan says, their hips moving faster, their thrust becoming harder and deeper. Their hand still around your throat as their lips capture yours in a rough kiss. You arch your back, moaning into their mouth as their hips pound against yours.

You cry into their mouth, as your orgasm crashes into you. Your legs shaking, their hips continue to snap against yours, their cock hitting all the right places, driving you wild.

"Fucking beautiful." Jordan moans, their hips slapping against yours as you clench and quiver around their cock. “Fucking, mine!” They say, your body shaking, their hips never stopping, they continue to slam their hips against yours chasing their own release.

"Fuck baby," Jordan groans, their cock twitching inside of you. You whimper, clenching tightly around their cock, milking them. Jordan lets out a loud grunt, as their hips snap one last time before spilling inside of you, their hot cum shooting deep inside you as their mouth desperately presses against yours, your tongues twisting together in a sloppy kiss.

Their hips stuttering, as they fill you. You whimper, your body still trembling, as their hips slow. You could feel their cock twitching, as they continued to spill inside you. Your messy kiss slowly coming to a halt, as their lips leave yours, their forehead leaning against yours.

"Wow," you whisper, and Jordan chuckles softly.

"Yeah," They agree, their hands gently caressing your skin, their fingers tracing over the bite marks and bruises they left behind.

"Sorry," they murmur, placing a gentle kiss to the side of your neck.

"Its okay," you say, placing a soft kiss to their lips, "You're hot when your jealous."

Jordan scuffs, but gives you a small smile. They place a soft kiss to the base of your throat, their body dropping more against yours as they nuzzle into the crook of your neck. You wrap your arms around their shoulders, holding them close, your hands gently stroking their back.

"I missed you." Jordan whispers, their lips ghosting across your neck.

"And whose fault is that, dumbass." you say with a sarcastic scoff, "You're the one who's been ignoring me all week."

"I know." Jordan sighs, their body weight shifting as they raise their head to meet your eyes. "Just, things got super busy this week and I couldn't focus, you're too much of a distraction sometimes." They say sincerely, their fingers brushing across your cheek. You roll your eyes dramatically, but say nothing as you sometimes feel the same way about them, needing a break to focus on school and other shit but that didn’t mean you didn’t miss them either.

Jordan gives you a shy smile, before placing a firm kiss on your swollen lips. Their head dropping back into the crook of your neck. You sigh happily as your finger go back to gently stroke their back, lightly scratching their back with your nails, drawing soft sighs from their lips.

"We should probably shower," Jordan says softly, after a moment.

"Mmm, in a bit." you murmur your fingers continuing to trail patterns on their naked back. Jordan chuckles, shifting to their smaller form as they nuzzle their face deeper into your neck, their hand gripping your hip, holding you impossibly close to their body.

"Whatever you say, baby." they say, their voice muffled as they burry their face into the space between your breasts. You chuckle, before releasing a content sigh, holding them closer, your eyes closing as sleep slowly begins to claim you both.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Shigaraki With a Girlfriend Headcanons

Warnings: fem reader as title suggests, sex, dub-con/non-con, shigaraki isn't healthy, fluffy if you can get past the darkish content, domestic abuse themes, misogynistic Tomura, anal mention, a lot of headcanons, typos but i don't have time to fix them right now

18+ Minors Don't Interact

Mellows out more, especially if he's around you and you alone

When Shigaraki has you around others he can get a bit cocky. He likes showing off his cute little girlfriend and how he's got such a cutie absolutely obsessed with him

When it's only you and him he's kind of domestic, surprisingly. You'll find him often coming up to cuddle you or touch you somehow and drag you to play games with him. Or more accurately you watch him game while he kisses and bites your neck

He likes doing cheesy couple things you'll come to find, such as going for walks, movies, out to eat, or just cuddle in bed for a while

That said, he's actually very cuddly once he's sure he can control touching you. If you're immune to his quirk, he'll still doubt it for a while and will touch you as if he's touching a hot stove. Once he knows you won't crumble, you won't be able to get him off of you

And if you aren't immune, those gloves that the doctor gave him as a child will make a comeback

He sort of doesn't even believe he has a GIRLFRIEND?!?! Makes him cackle and giggle sometimes

You can draw those cackles out by kissing his face and letting him touch you however he wants

He's horny so very horny

He's never had someone touch him so lovingly. He loves it. He loves that you love him.

As codependent as it is, you're pretty much the only thing he loves. That, and video games. And yes, he respects and appreciates his comrades. But love, as in genuinely caring for someone and wanting to see them happy? Only you

His temper is short and it's easy to piss him off but he sort of teaches himself a "count to 10" thing for you. He doesn't actually want to hurt you or your feelings. Though he'll admit, seeing your eyes water when he does something bad makes that sick, evil part of him smile

He can get carried away during sex. He's actually very eager to please you and make you beg for him. It wouldn't be fun if you didn't crave his cock, right?

He oversteps boundaries sometimes and will be very pushy. You'll have to speak up, but even then he might banter with you, "come onnn..but you're so pretty thoughhh~"

After the fact he'll pull you into snuggle and sleep with him. He considers that his act of redemption.

In case it didn't dawn on you, he's evil

He's able to be down to earth with you too and will open up about things he'd never tell others with you. He trusts you

His mommy issues may get taken out on you sometimes, and not even just in the sexy way. He can get very pouty and bratty with you or even just needy for attention.

He loves you sooo much. I've said that, but for real. His version of love is sick and maybe it's better to say that he's obsessed with you. He wants you all the time, and wants you to be his and his ONLY.

That said, he's the boyfriend who goes through phones. He paid attention when you put in your password while he was around you. He'll look through your messages to make sure there's no guys or funny people. He'll turn on location features while you're unaware so he can check on your location when he's not with you.

He'll look through your porn history too but he most likely won't be mad at anything he sees. It'll just make him horny and he'll pester you with questions. "Hehe you're into that?!" "Would it make you ooey gooey if I did that to you?" "Nasty whore hehehe."

Will take pictures of you without your permission, lewd or just innocent. He misses you when you're away and likes to look at them.

He doesn't show them to people except that one time he did let Dabi see a filthy video he took once while you and him were fucking. Dabi questioned his sexual abilities, so naturally he had to prove him wrong.

If anyone disrespected you the only person who could stop him is you, to be honest. He won't tolerate it and will absolutely hurt someone in your honor.

If anyone tried to take advantage of you or hurt you, bye bye

Doubts himself a lot and makes you feel guilty for it. He'll pester you. Is he good enough for you? Do you not love him? Is he ugly? Is his dick too small? He's too crazy for you right? Too bad? Too damaged? There's no way you love him, you lying bitch!

He's kind of misogynistic. Mansplains. Complains about how women accuse men of shit that "they don't do" and then does said things

Period specific hc: didn't take your period cramps seriously at first because he couldn't fathom how they were that bad. He thought you were being dramatic. It only took him taking you around his buddies and you absolutely dying in pain the entire time. He actually felt bad.

Sometimes he'll even give you the princess treatment. Spoil you with kisses, cuddles, and games. He'll bring some snacks too. Maybe pull you into the shower if he's smelly that day.

Boobies guy. But also loves butts. Actually, he can't pick. Because he loves sucking on titties but also likes putting his dick up your ass (when you let him lol). He loves your body so much, but he's not THAT shallow. It's the fact that it's YOUR body on YOU, attached to your cute facial expressions, and your cute lil heart.

Sex with him varies. It can be pretty sexy and sensual, actually. You'd be surprised how much Tomura just wants some genuine love and affection. But it can also very easily be rough and animalistic

All that hate and rage inside Tomura gets taken out on your wet pussy. You'll be sore. He'll say sorry and buy you a coffee later to atone for his sins.

If you want him to brush his teeth, you have to take him with you. If you treat it as a ☆bonding time☆between you and him, he'll do it. Otherwise, Tomura doesn't even remember most of the time. His breath smells. It's bad sometimes. When he flosses once every 6 months there's a pool of blood in the sink. Probably has gum disease.

Collects figures! And he'll never demand that you buy him things but if you did he'd be super embarrassed, but also grateful. He'll probably just hide his face and mutter a little.."thank yew". But the fact that you care about him like that makes his heart HURT

These love feelings confuse him because he fucking HATES how tight his chest feels and how heavy his bones and foggy his head is when he finds himself adoring you so damn much. He also adoressss you. You're his one and only and his only reason for ever doing anything generous to anybody. If he wasn't so fucking stubborn you'd probably be enough to "save" him

[ruanbaijie]

CHENG YI + 💋 cheng yi on variety [2/?] @asiandramanet jan-feb creator bingo board ⎈ free choice full translation below the cut

dumping this here in case the subtitles were too tricky to follow please watch the actual video (18:21) with sound on and all it takes me out all the damn time

[1] Cheng Yi’s cards: Ultraman who went on a blind date and got stung by a bee and got sausage lips Cai Wenjing: (in terrible Cantonese accent) A man and a woman - what do their parents arrange for them to do together?

[2] CY: processing CWJ: When two people meet for the first time, a man and a woman He Jiong the host: already dying

[3] CY: still processing CWJ: If they get together, they are lovers HJ: still dying

[4] CY: (itCa) Sei… Sei… Sei… CWJ: anticipation CY: (itCa) How many characters are there?

[5] CWJ: (itCa) Two characters! CY: (itCa) Lovers. CWJ: (itCa) The step they have to take before becoming lovers

[6] CY: (itCa and with absolute fucking confidence) Friends! CWJ: literally hanging on by a thread at this point (itCa) They started as friends HJ: (in Mandarin) A verb. They go to a place to do what?

[7] CY: PROCESSING aha! (itCa and still with absolute fucking confidence) A park! CWJ: (itCa) Ok let’s not talk about that anymore HJ: cackling in absolute sadistic glee CWJ: (itCa) There’s a small kind of animal in the garden

[8] CWJ: (itCa) Like that. It’s a… Its body is like what you’re wearing. It’s yellow. Yellow, black, black, and it has a pair of wings

[9] CY: got it! (itCa and with the most fucking confidence known to mankind) Cow! (lit: yellow cow) CWJ: (itCa) There’s a tiny bug CY: still processing (itCa) Little yellow bug

[10] HJ: spits CWJ: (itCa) Not a little yellow bug. There’s a bug that might sting you and you will swell up CY: (itCa) Bee! HJ: (iM) That’s right! There’s progress, friends! “Bee.” There’s progress!

[11] Tan Jianci: completely enjoying this circus CY: secretly pleased CWJ: (itCa) Then what will the bee do to you? CY: (itCa) Sting me HJ: (iM) Ah that’s right, that’s right, that’s right

[12] CWJ: (itCa) It stings your mouth–oh no, no! Game rule: can’t say the character that appears on the card CWJ: (itCa) This area will… ooOOOOOoooo Show effects: kissing sounds CY: (itCa) A bee stings my mouth du du du

[13] TJC: having the absolute fucking time of his life HJ: (iM) Yes, yes, yes, what do you call lips that go “du du du”? CY: (itCa) Du du lips. Bee du du lips

[14] CY: rapid fire beings (itCa) Bee sausage. Bun! I think I got it (itCa) Bee sausage ah! Oh! A bee stings the lips of a sausage?

[15] HJ: what the fuck is going on CWJ: what the fuck is going on x2 (itCa) Bee… gives up TJC: (iM) The lips of a sausage?!

[16] HJ: (iM) Your lips, your lips CY: (itCa) Oh! A bee stings the lips of a sausage and causes me to have du du lips? CWJ: K.O.

[17] Wang Hedi: losing his shit CWJ: (itCa) Then you will look very sexy lor! CY: embarrassed send help

[18] CY: (itCa) It’s too difficult, let’s change to another one CWJ: (itCa) We’ll guess this (card in his left hand). This is easy to guess. Pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! CY: (itCa) Ultraman! HJ: (iM) That’s right! Good!

[19] HJ: (iM) Now we’re just missing a verb. The verb in the front CWJ: (itCa) Just missing a word. Your daddy and mummy tell you to go and meet a girl today. With me… what do you call this action?

[20] CY: (itCa) Ultraman’s action? CWJ: (itCa) Not Ultraman!!!!!! HJ: dies in background CWJ: (itCa) Nothing to do with Ultraman anymore!!!!!! Yang Di: Aaahhhhhhh!!!!!! WHD: SHOOK

[21] TJC: (iM) Oh my god! I can watch a whole season of them playing this! CY: god save me CWJ: (itCa) There’s no more Ultraman now!

[22] TJC: can’t even sit in his fucking seat anymore CWJ: (itCa) Now it’s me and you. Then Daddy and Mummy tell me you are a handsome boy, that you are going to be my boyfriend CY: (itCa) Date? HJ: (iM) Before a date

[23] HJ: (iM) The first date CY: (itCa) Strangers? eyes sparkling with hope HJ: (iM) AhhHH yes–yes… The two strangers go to the park for a first date that was arrange by their parents. That’s called… CWJ: anticipation TJC: does he finally get it

[24] Show effects: tense piano music CY: (itCa and once more with ABSOLUTE fucking confidence) Park. HJ: K.O. of the century

[25] HJ: (iM) Can we get Cheng Yi to be a regular? Just to play this CY: SHY TJC: in proper Cantonese The second word is… Show effects: kissing sounds

[26] CY: (itCa) Kissing ah? They’re meeting for the first time and they’re already kissing ah? TJC, WHD: ABSOLUTELY FUCKING GONE HJ: choking goose INTENSIFIES

[27] CY: SHY (iM) I’m wrong, I… HJ: (iM) Blind date YD: (iM) Blind date! Blind date!

[lesbianrobin]

ok since people r very into my chris fic i shall share some of my random behind the scenes thoughts while writing it:

adriana has literally been waiting her entire life for her obviously gay older brother who joined the army to avoid his wife and then moved to los angeles to be a sexy firefighter to COME OUT ALREADY and by the time we meet her in this fic she is like Vibrating with the need to be like EDDIE IS GAYYYYYYY ARE YOU PEOPLE BLIND??? which is why it takes like absolutely zero prodding from chris for her to spill all of eddie's business. i think when eddie was little he was a very obviously gay little boy and as he grew up he learned how to Be Normal but adriana never forgot and she's like deeply sad about it.

chris is So fucking miserable at his grandparents' house he misses video games so bad. i couldn't find a way to really incorporate this without it feeling like a cheap "look he's a TEEN BOY" thing but yeah the second he gets back home he is slamming that headset on and gaming until eddie tells him he has to take a break or he'll burn his eyes out of his sockets.

there are a Lot of songs on buck and eddie's joint depression playlist that i listed and then cut for practicality's sake but if there's any like interest in that i could maybe put together + link the full playlist for y'all?

buck's "maddie" playlist is entirely music he listened to growing up bc it makes him think of her. as a younger sibling my music taste from birth to like. age fifteen ish. was just wholly whatever my older sister listened to and i think buck is the same way. i don't think buck necessarily listens to this playlist on his own very often but if he's hanging out with maddie and/or babysitting jee-yun he'll put it on because it makes him happy to enjoy some 90s/00s nostalgia with his best girls. sometimes he'll play it in the car when he's driving chris somewhere because he wants to carry forward some of those good memories he has with maddie with chris.

buck and eddie's texts were written in order to coincide with each other! eddie texts more frequently than buck but i think if you pay attention you can sometimes tell which days buck Also sent chris a text bc they match. some of them were sent specifically in the wake of very emotionally taxing shifts where they both wanted so badly to call chris and beg him to come home but they knew that wouldn't go well and they didn't want to make chris feel guilty so they tried to play it cool.

speaking of buck and eddie: i don't think that eddie's conversation with chris is necessarily the First step in eddie realizing he's gay or moving toward something romantic with buck. keep in mind that chris has been gone for at least two weeks by the time he talks to either of them, and buck and eddie spend the vast majority of their time together. this fic is restricted to chris' pov, and he has no way of knowing whether, say, buck and tommy broke up, or whether his dad has been thinking about some things differently since he's been gone. buck and eddie Also have to spend twelve hours in a car together just the two of them between the end of the fic and their reunion with chris. this is not me saying that buck and tommy DID break up or that buddie got together while chris was away (i don't actually have a solid "canon" for where they're at), just that i intentionally left space for a wide range of possibilities due to chris' limited knowledge of what's going on with them!!

i kinda intentionally did not delve too deeply into the psychology of the diaz parents here because i think their behavior is a bit inscrutable to chris. the vast majority of his memories of them are from when he was really little, and therefore i think he doesn't actually know them very well as people. he knows that there's some tension between them and eddie, but prior to this fic he never really bothered to question Why. all he knows is that his grandparents will probably come and get him if he calls, and that it'll hurt his dad's feelings, and in the immediate aftermath of the kim debacle that's all he cares about. once he's in el paso, he starts noticing some things that make him a bit uncomfortable, but he never does determine for sure what their motivations and opinions are about this whole situation, whether they're treating him a certain way bc he's the grandkid or bc of his cerebral palsy, and whether their treatment of eddie really does stem from homophobia or not. at the end of the day he's thirteen years old and i wanted to leave his grandparents' True Selves as a bit of a mystery because 1. i don't think They necessarily know why they do what they do and 2. i don't think there's any one answer that would be satisfying.

chris literally had zero intention of saying anything to eddie about the Gay Thing he just is very much thirteen years old and emotional and he fundamentally Trusts his father to never like. lash out at him for saying something like that. so he doesn't try too hard to hold it back and impulsively says Hey Dad Are You Gay Maybe because he's never gone so long without talking to his dad before and he's just bursting with thoughts and feelings. he's not even trying to do a buddie matchmaking thing it's just that the easiest way to make his argument is to be like (points at buck).

[visualbutterflysworld]

Cover Stealer | Vhackerr

You and Vinnie in bed after a fight

“Stop pulling the cover!” I yank some of the cover back. “I’m cold!” Vinnie said, yanking it back. “You walk around half naked everyday! How are you suddenly cold now!?” I scrunch my face up. “Because I am!”

Vinnie and I got in a fight a few hours ago. I don’t usually like fighting and I wouldn’t have been so upset if it wasn’t really important to me. We were supposed to have dinner together at this really nice place and had reservations but, Vincent being Vincent lost track of time over his stupid game. So by the time we made it they had given our table away.

I wouldn’t have mind but, with him being signed to IMG Models and me having to travel a lot for my job, we barely had time to spend together. If I was some famous person than I could be with him anytime I’d want. No, see, I actually have a 9 to 5 and don’t have enough times on my hands unlike some people. I may or may not have brought that up.

“Y/n, I said I was sorry.” Vinnie sighed as we walked into my apartment. “Yeah, whatever.” I grumbled as I walk upstairs. “Y/n, what’s the big deal? We’ll have another date night.” Vinnie stood at the end of the stairs and I turned midway on the staircase. “And when do you think that’ll be Vincent!? Two months from now!? I’m so sorry but, some of us don’t make our schedule! Some of us actually have to work!” I yelled as I folded my arms.

He glared at me. “You think I don’t work?! I work every damn day Y/n!” He yelled back at me. “Oh please Vincent, your job is being sexy and a photo for fourteen year olds to masturbate to.” I rolled my eyes and continuing walking up the stairs. “At least I’m doing my dream!” Vinnie yelled. “I’ve achieved my dream and got financial stability, you asshole!”

As you can see, we haven’t talked since. The whole dream thing was about me wanting to model and act but, when I decided in college that I wanted to be financially happy and actually have a job I could depend on unlike acting and modeling. Because once you hit a certain age roles and jobs dry up for whatever reason. Plus, who the fuck wants to deal with paparazzi!? Those assholes killed Princess Diana and made Britney Spears’ life a living hell.

Yeah, so I choose my other dream route. Marketing consultant. Sometimes I travel a lot to other firms to study and bring clients to my firm company. While Vinnie gets to sit at home and play video games and look sexy. I get out of my thoughts by feeling another tug. “Can your sexy ass stop pulling the cover!” I speak and instantly regret my words.

I feel the bed move and a head on my forearm. “Did you just call me sexy?” He asked. “No.” I try to hide my smile. “Liar. You know, you said something about fourteen year olds masturbating to me but, I’ve caught you masturbating to photos of me.” His fingers ling on my side before I quickly flip on my back. Letting out a gasp. “You have not!” I said and Vinnie shrugs. “I have too. Hell, I’ve caught you with your secret vibrator pretending it was me.” Vinnie laughs at me as I stare at him with wide eyes.

“I thought I was being sneaky with it.” I mutter as I pout. “Yeah, but you’re very vocal.” Vinnie pinched my side. “Whatever.” I cross my arms and look away. “I am sorry about missing the dinner.” He said before kissing my neck and nuzzling into it. “Yeah, I know.” I sigh as I rub the bridge of my nose. “Sometimes I’m afraid with us being apart so much, you may find someone else. Someone better.” Vinnie quickly shoots up. “That is the most stupidest thing I ever heard you say.” I scowl at him before he continues.

“To ever think that I would leave you because of distance is an insult. I wouldn’t leave you if you had to go to China for three months!” I laugh and Vinnie let’s out a smile. He strokes my face softly before placing a kiss on my lips. “Plus, I like when you’re away and come back to me.” He mutters as he rest his forehead against me. “Why?” I scrunch up my nose. “Because it gives me more pleasure knowing i can fuck you for as long as I want to make up time.”

I smack my lips before responding, “I seriously think you’re a sex addict. You probably have a Fleshlight somewhere.” Vinnie smirks. “Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t. That is one thing you’ll never know.” I roll my eyes. “Okay, Dr. Seuss.”

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Harlow Sister Instagram AU

A/N : I don’t know how to feel about this one but it’s been sitting in my drafts so enjoy.

Liked by yourusername, cozane, jackharlow, and 7,986,345 others

urbanwyatt I just “pranked” my girl and I might need a place to sleep at.

View all 1,200 comments

jackharlow The face of realization that you fucked up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

claybornharlow Oh god, what did you do now?

urbanwyatt I sang some of the songs she usually listens to when she’s drinking or cleaning.

yourusername Now don’t make me out to be crazy. You were singing those songs for a lost love or something because they most definitely weren’t for me.

urbanwyatt Wait then why do YOU sing them with so much passion? WHO ARE YOU MISSING?????

jackharlow 💀 ohhhh How the roles have been reversed

yourusername Jack shut up 🙄

druski Answer the man baby Harlow, what love got away that you sing them songs with so much heartbreak?

yourusername I’m not even mad anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ so why are we discussing this subject???

urbanwyatt 🙄

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, pesopluma, jackharlow, cozane, selenosunni, and 8,667,345 others

yourusername When you overhear your boyfriend tell his boys he used to love blonde hair on girls, I said bet🥴🫡

View all 1,300 comments

urbanwyatt 🤤 😋

urbanwyatt I love your black hair though baby!!!!!!

druski Where did you get that wig from?

yourusername Why you want some hair???

druski No because you should sue, they did you wrong sis

shloob 💀💀💀💀

yourusername You are such a hater 🙄

neelamthadhani real life Barbie 💗

urbanwyatt She’s more of a Bratz but let’s give her the title Barbie for now.

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, selenosunni, cozane, neelamthadhani, and 8,577,866 others

yourusername Looking for a cowboy to ride 🤠 🐴

View all 1,800 comments

cozane Suddenly I’m a cowboy 😏

selenosunni x2

yourusername OHHH??? 👀

urbanwyatt EXCUSE ME?????

druski I’ll be your cowboy, come on over and ride me all day!!!!!!!

urbanwyatt YO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK????

claybornharlow Y/N you’re annoying, I can see you laughing from across the room.

jackharlow 🙄

yourusername Damn y’all losers couldn’t go along with the joke???

cozane Your brothers are the annoying ones, I tried my best.

druski Whose joking? I was being serious, I’ll be your cowboy anytime of the day 🤪

urbanwyatt Only if you’re trying to get your ass beat

•

Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, selenosunni, cozane, 2forwoyne, and 8,567,345 others

urbanwyatt Kicking balls and leg modeling should’ve been my calling.

View all 1,500 comments

yourusername HELLLOOOOO

yourusername GODDAMN

yourusername 👁️🫦👁️

yourusername THAT’S MY MAN!!!!!!!

yourusername I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!!!!!!

yourusername Not really- not yet at least but I’ll let you cum down my throat for now!!!!!!

nemoachida Was this before or after y’all came out of the locker room?

yourusername Mind your business!

urbanwyattupdates Are we just going to ignore yn thirsting over her man on the comments ?

yourusername We’re not ignoring anything, it’s nothing new lol I always thirst over my sexy ass man.

urbanwyatt 🤭🤭🤭

user He’s definitely ignoring it because he’s done with her. She does too much.

yourusername I was put into this world to do just that!!!! Too much!!!!

user Yeah and your birth parents didn’t even want you so that says a lot about you.

jackharlow DAFUQ????

urbanwyatt I know you’re not being brave behind a screen. Say that shit to my face, don’t be asking for pictures or anything no more.

claybornharlow isn’t this the he guy who was yelling your name and y/n at the kickball game? Lmaoooo he was desperate for a picture and a video.

mamamaggie I love my son’s true fans, the ones who are respectful and show love to not only him, but to my family as well. But what I’m not about to do is sit and watch how some of you love to attack my daughter- because that’s what she is, SHE IS MY DAUGHTER!!! None of you know the situation, so don’t speak on something you know nothing about. I will throw hands down when it comes to my children.

druski Yall done brought out the hood from white lady

yourusername I WILL FUCK YOU UP! Leave my momma alone!

•

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, selenosunni, cozane, and 8,457,345 others

yourusername MY BOYS FOR LIFE 💗 *& before y’all start, clayborn included, he just doesn’t like to take pictures.*

View all 2,400 comments

claybornharlow I was about to unlike super fast until I finished reading the entire caption.

yourusername See, this is how drama starts!!!!

urbanwyatt 😘😘

jackharlow 💜

user girl I think it’s time to give it up, they don’t even care about you

yourusername Oh no 😢

user Im so sorry to be the one to tell you but they really don’t give a fuck about you. They feel sorry for you.

yourusername Damn, they told you all of this? 💀

user bitch I was trying to be nice to you

yourusername You call that being nice? 😩😩 don’t worry about me babes.

user2 Serious question though, does urban and everyone else in the circle put up with you because you’re jacks “sister” or because they feel bad for you?

yourusername Nah, they put up with me because I give all of them head.

user2 Who do you fuck first and who goes last.

yourusername We have a schedule, like today your dad is on my list.

user3 The way I see it is that you sleep with BOTH Jack and urban

yourusername I know that’s what YOU wish you’d be able to accomplish, but I’m sorry to burst your delusional bubble. Plus, this isn’t Alabama.

user4 Is Jack really your brother?

yourusername No, he’s my son 🙄

user5 I heard Urban is cheating on you. What are you gonna do about it.

yourusername Well I was about to let him deep down my throat right now, but I think I’ll let him fuck me instead- wait…. Am I supposed to leave him???? I’m confused.

druski I HAD TO MAKE SOME POPCORN AND ENJOY YOU CLAPPING BACK AT THESE LOSERS.

yourusername Oh I had time today 😈

•

Liked by yourusername, brysontiller, cozane, neelamthadhani, selenosunni, and 8,566,344 others

urbanwyatt She’s my fucking soulmate ❤️‍🔥

View all 2,300 comments

yourusername 🥹 My baby boy 😘

cozane user1, 2, 3 & 4 punching air right now

urbanwyatt lmao 🤣

selenosunni Sharing is caring 👀

urbanwyatt Not when it comes to her.

cozane 🧐🧐🧐🧐

jackharlow Don’t start

neelamthadhani Damn the girlies popping out

yourusername They wanted to come out and play.

urbanwyatt I love it when I get to play with them- I mean when they come out to play.

neelamthadhani Na I know exactly what you mean you dirty man

yourusername 😅😅😅😅

druski 🫦 can I get her number?

urbanwyatt NO

druski it’s okay I’ll slide into her dms

urbanwyatt You’re blocked.

druski What? Since when? Why did she block me?

urbanwyatt when you decided to send her a video of yourself scrolling through her pictures and zooming in on her.

druski That’s why she blocked me? I was admiring her beauty

urbanwyatt I blocked you from sending her messages.

druski well that’s rude, I guess I’ll have to see her in person and ask for her number.

urbanwyatt You’re annoying, you already have her number idiot.

druski I lost it

yourusername Damn, you lost my number? And you claim to be the love of my life. I’m heartbroken 💔

druski I just want ONE night, I can’t be stuck with you forever because you’re crazy.

urbanwyatt That’s okay bro, I’ll take her from you.

urbanwyattsource Haters are mighty quiet under this post. They had a lot to say under hers.

yourusername LMAAAOOOO because they don’t want to get blocked by him.

urbanwyatt They been blocked, I may stay silent from time to time but when it comes to my girl, I don’t play.

yourusername 🌽 💦 every time he calls me HIS GIRL 🥵🥵🥵🥵 likeee yessssuhhh zadddyyyyyy come choke me.

claybornharlow Here your ass goes 🤦🏼‍♂️

urbanwyatt 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

jackharlow ONE DAY JUST ONE DAY WHEN YOU TWO ACT RIGHT PLEASE 🙄

mamamaggie You know well enough that, that’s never going to happen. They were made for each other and they will forever be.

urbanwyatt Mama gets it

••••••••••

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818

[leclerced]

Oscar x reader voyeur content, like maybe while he's on the phone to one of the other drivers, or watching them without them knowing, walking in on them, etc <3

omfg i literally somehow missed this but ??? goes so well w perv!oscar im just gonna do bullet points of weird things i think he would do

also kind of mean oscar who steals lando’s gf but one day he walks in on lando going down on his girl and the girl sees him walk in and they make eye contact and when he turns to leave she shakes her head and is sm more enthusiastic once he’s watching and that’s how lil baby oscar realizes he likes watching people bc suddenly lando’s girlfriend is doing her best to get her and lando caught by oscar

mean!oscar stealing lando’s gfs and he fucks them in lando’s drivers room every time so he always catches them in the act.

him fingering his girl in public all the time. like under every dinner table no matter who is around. the more people around, the better. he hated clubs until he went to one with his girlfriend and fingered her on the dance floor, the music drowning out her moans to everyone except him as she came around his fingers.

he loves sucking his fingers clean in public, a few times lando catches his hand under the table and they meet eyes and oscar suddenly pulls his hand from her pussy and sucks his shiny fingers clean while staring lando dead in the eyes.

fucks her in public regularly and always takes her panties with him, not caring if someone sees her fucked out cunt in her short skirt. or hoping someone does? who knows why he does it

purposely leaves doors unlocked when he pulls her away to fuck and knows someone will come looking for them, makes her moan louder when he hears footsteps or voices around.

most people would ignore calls they get during sex but he probably rushes to answer them, especially if it’s lando, and then moans hello into the mouth piece

can def see him inviting lando over to game and then fucking his girl on the couch when lando’s supposed to come over, him and lando have an open door policy so they just walk in without knocking, half the time they have their headsets on and don’t hear knocking so it makes sense. but it also means he’s once again greeted by the sight of oscar fucking his girl, smirking up at lando from between her legs as he coyly says, “oh sorry, forgot you were coming.” and lando just rolls his eyes and goes back to the gaming room to let them finish their business

when he’s not fucking her in public he’s whispering in her ear all the things he wants to do to her. loves pda. every photo of them walking down the paddock has his hand on her ass. so many times they’ll be standing together with his hands on her waist, just normally chatting or whatever, and then he’ll make eye contact with someone and his hands slip down and grab her ass, pulling her into him. occasionally one hand will go to her ass and the other to her jaw, pulling her in for a steamy kiss. usually when he makes eye contact with carlos who’s visiting lando on his side of the garage. he’d pull away from the kiss and smirk at the gawkers as his girlfriend blushes and wipes the spit from her lips with her thumb, wiping it across oscar’s shirt as she teases him for being a freak.

i can see them in the club partying with everyone else and he pours alcohol into her mouth, like the sexy way where she tilts her head back yk?? but she doesn’t immediately close her mouth, staring up at him with big pleading eyes, and he smirks and looks around to see who is watching before he spits in her mouth, and then she finally closes her mouth and swallows whatever shot he had poured down her throat.

at some point a sex tape would be leaked, and while his team makes him put out the blanket statement about how he’s disappointed by the invasion of privacy and how him and his girlfriend would like respect and privacy. disappointingly, his team worked to take the videos down from everywhere they could. despite the ramifications of it, he’s excited by it because like, yeah everyone knows he can fuck well. everyone saw him make his girl sob with his tongue, saw the way he manhandled her and made her beg for his cock. he’d get asked about it and he’d say, “honestly, it’s not even the best one. or maybe worst? either way, i’m not worried about it.” and everyone is wondering what else could have been better and/or worse than the four hour sex fest that already leaked. especially older racers who thought the rookie was just that- a rookie.

[nnephthyss]

webcam play - utahime x reader

plot: you and utahime have a long distance relationship and have a little fun on a webcam.

warnings: clit rubbing, fingering, praising, masturbation

wc. 1.3k

(also please don’t bully me! this is my first ever smut fic and im still learning so any nice criticism would help! thank youu.)

———————————————————————————

it’s been a few months since you met your bestfriend utahime through a game and ever since then you were attached to the hip. it wasn’t like you were gonna be able to see her anytime soon. she lived like what? three or four states away from you? it was impossible to go see her at this rate.

shortly after you two met, you started to have… feelings for her and weren't sure how to tell her. she tells you pretty much everything so you knew she liked girls but weren't sure if she’d like.. you.

you got the courage to tell her and she reacted quite well to your feelings. she reciprocated them actually. you both started to date, having a really good relationship at that but what hurt most was not being able to see each other except through a computer screen.

utahime had the great idea to do a webcam video so you both could see each other. you bought the damn thing, set it up and now here you are looking at the girl through a small camera.

“prettier than i remembered.” the dark haired girl says softly but with a bit of roughness to her voice.

she looked so pretty on the other side of the screen. her hair was messy and tucked behind her ears, instead of that signature bow she wore when she’d send pictures to you over text.

you always felt that weird tingling sensation in your tummy when you saw her or even thought about her. she was beautiful, not to mention sexy. you had only been dating for a couple months, not doing anything sexual at all but damn it, if you don’t think about it.

a small blush appears on your pale face through the dingy frame of the web camera. the lighting wasn’t the best and neither was the video quality. she still looked so mesmerizing in the dark shadow of her room, only being lit up by a small lamp on her desk.

“thank you.” you mutter nervously.

even after being friends for so long and now dating, she still gets you all hot and bothered by a couple words.

“whats the matter, baby?” she asks softly, shifting in her seat to get a better look at you.

the little place between your thighs practically *throbs* at the pet name. you look down, diverting your eyes to your lap as you fiddle with your fingers.

“n-nothing.”

she raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. she gives you that look. you sigh and look back up at her.

“nothing, you just make me nervous uta.” you use her little nickname and she shifts in her seat again but not to get comfortable this time.

she nods her head and smiles at the nervousness written all over your face. she clearly knew there was something else behind those pretty eyes of yours. so she waits for you to continue and it makes you even more aroused at the the thought of her being so assertive.

“i’ve been thinking of you.” you start and then she leans closer to the camera like she’s trying to hear you better, so you speak up.

“thinking about you sexually.” you finish.

she was slightly taken off guard but now fully surprised because she’s been thinking about you the exact same way. she leans her elbows on the sides of her chair and takes a small breath.

“yeah baby?” she asks softly, smugness in her sweet tone.

“yeah and i-“ you try to say but embarrassment gets the best of you and your words die off.

“you what, love?”

fuck, now why did she have to use such sweet nicknames that made your cunt twitch? you keep your eyes on her through the computer screen and take a small breath.

“I touch myself thinking about you. o-only because i miss you and i can’t see you.”

you try to make up and excuse but utahime didn’t care. she was satisfied with what you were sayin. A glimmer hits her dark eyes and she smiles more, like grins.

“oh you have? and can you show me how you touched yourself, baby?”

your jaw almost drops open when that question falls from her mouth so seductively. you stutter for a moment, words dying off in your throat when you try to speak. you were flustered, heart beating fast and neediness racing through your blood.

she watched closely as you start to pull down your sleep shorts. the fabric falls down your thighs and then you kick them off to the floor along with your delicate lacy panties. you were sitting in one of those rolly chairs, so you swallow hard and spread your thighs in the space of the chair.

utahime swallows hard, her throat becoming dry at the view of your soaking wetness that you present to her. she grasps at the handles of the chair and scoots as close as she can to the monitor.

“now go ahead, baby.” she says softly, urging you to show her what you do when you’re all alone.

you don’t hesitate, right hand coming down between your thighs and running a slender finger through your slick. a shaky breath slips from your lips, chest rising and falling at the sensation already.

utahimes eyes are glued between your legs. she licks her lips, thinking about all the times she’s dreamed of seeing you like this.

“ah yes, just like that pretty girl.” she praises as you start to rub small circles around your puffy clit.

you whimper at her words, the praises that fall from her mouth, making you more aroused. you were trying your not to just come at the slow motions but her eyes were on you and her voice. it was killing you.

you speed up your pace, quicker circles and a small moan escapes your throat at the sensation. you can feel that familiar sensation rise in your stomach. burning pleasure runs through your clit and up your spine.

“uta..” her nickname slips from your mouth in a whine.

your eyes were almost drilled shut at this point. mouth quivered, lip underneath your top one as you bite down hard on it. you draw your other hand closer, slipping a single finger into your aching hole and she can’t feel her own self getting heated.

her eyes are on your soaked cunt. she can see the wetness dripping down your thighs and hand at how drenched you were. you suck in a small breathe, body writhing as you start to curl a finger slowly but quickening your pace once you get adjusted.

she watched closely, eyes glued to your face now. she curses to herself at how beautiful you look. your toes start to curl, hands getting tired but you don’t stop because you were so close.

“gonna come.. uta!” you cry out, legs threatening to close.

she nods her head, licking her lips and leaning in even close if that’s possible. she watched as your head fell back against the chair, thighs twitching against the handle bars.

“come for me, pretty girl.” she coos.

after that comes from utahimes mouth, it’s over for you. a loud cry rings through your bedroom and through the webcam speaker. she watches as your body convulses against the chair, your thighs squeezing shut around your hand as you come.

“ahh that’s it.” she murmurs to you, voice rough with desire.

you whimper, coming down from your high. your eyes open and you see how mesmerized utahime looks from the little show you gave her. a small grin comes to your lips but there was still embarrassment deep down inside of you.

finally you withdraw your hand away from your overstimulated cunt and close your legs, squeezing your thighs shut and making eye contact with utahime.

“did so good for me, pretty girl.” she whispers with a large grin on her face.

———————————————————————————

[yuyu1024]

Darling

Pairings: Seonghwa × y/n

Genre/tags: friends and more

Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, cursing, sensual touching/making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, semi public, bj [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 1.2k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: likes and reblogs much appreciated ⭐️

Check pinned post for more✨️

****

Half asleep, you wake up early in the morning to force yourself to jog. You've been slacking with it for the past month already. School have really messed up your routine.

Before you go and get ready to wash your face up, you decided to go down the kitchen first to grab a glass or water and prepare the tumbler you will be carrying for the run.

It's still a bit dark and again, half asleep, that you didn't find it weird that when you entered the kitchen area, the lampshade near the dining table is on. So when a deep ass voice started speaking behind you, you almost dropped down on the floor and faint.

"Fuck!" You gasp as you finally see it was Seonghwa. "You scared the shit out of me." Your hands on your chest and trying to collect yourself

"I didn't mean to..." he say then leans his lower back on the island counter top. "You're up early." His arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm going for a run... need to release some stress..." you say as you open the fridge and grab a bottle of water. "You?"

"I'm horny." He spat, making you almost choke on the water your drinking

You wipe your mouth. "W-what did you say?!?"

He puts his index finger over his plump, rosy lips. "Sshh... they are still asleep."

He is pertaining to your brother, Wooyoung, and the other boys. Some is sleeping up stairs in Wooyoung's room while Yunho and probably San is sleeping in the guestroom downstairs since they were up all night playing video games.

It's the beginning of summer so they are all in your house, having some boys slumber party. And they will be here for a few more days.

"You guys drank a lot last night... why are you awake now?"

"Again....as I said..." he stands up straight and lips curved in a small smile. "I'm horny... if you don't get that... It means I want sex... I want to fuck... I want..." he's moving closer and closer to you until your back touches the fridge. "I want to eat you..."

Your bodies are close to each other that you could actually feel his hardness through his pajamas and yours.

"W-why... me?"

"C'mon darling..." he leans down to whisper, "you know why... you've been teasing me since yesterday..."

You blush at the thought. Yes. You actually did. Not gonna lie, maybe it's because you had a few drinks too but not to the point your drunk. It just became liquid courage for you.

You've been crushing on him for more than a year now. He's been friends with your brother for so long. But you have no idea where this crush actually began. You thought it was just nothing until it got solidified more than a year ago.

How can you not like Seonghwa? He's sweet, kind, caring, passionate and such a good friend and person in general. Plus he's good looking and smart. And probably, one thing you like about him too is his naughty side.

But this KIND of naughty, is new to you.

"Wearing a a fitted top and those tiny shorts of yours?" He tugs your hair behind your ear before he takes you by your chin and make you look at him. "And when we were playing games... you make sure I get to have a good view of your ass and then brushing your chest onto my arm purposely..." he leans in again, lips close to your ear. "Just thinking about it makes me hard and ready to burry my d!ck in your pu$sy."

Oh shit. Your knees weakened a little. He sound so fucking sexy.

"What do you say? Darling... should we try... if you could take my d!ck well?"

His eyes are burning. He's different from the Seonghwa you see often. This is intense. In a good way.

"Ahm..." your breathing is all over the place as his hands begins to roam around your body.

"Give me your consent, darling." He pushes his pelvis to you more. His fucking hard as rock. "I've been wanting to fuck you since last night... but the boys are night owls and I can't find the timing to pull you out of your bed."

You are shaking and excited at the same time.

"What do you want to do?"

He smirks devilishly. "I want to fuck that beautiful mouth of yours first... would you like to try?"

You suddenly got brave and cup his bulge. "Feed me." You tease before you tip toe and go for a kiss.

His eyes widens after the cute peck you gave him but then the warmth in his eyes changes to something dark.

"Go down on your knees." He orders

Your mouth goes dry. This is your first time doing something like this. You've dated a few boys but didn't got to this. Seonghwa is a man and you're not a little girl anymore too. Making out is just basic. This is more than basic.

Slowly pulling down his pajama pants down, you almost choked on nothing as you see it clearly and close up. The length. The veins. The redness. The leaking tip.

"Fuck." You hiss as you grab him using both hands. "Wow..." You quietly move forward and begin to taste him.

You tongue run from the bottom to the tip. Feeling those edges that are so freaking beautiful that makes you wonder how it will feel if he puts it inside of you.

"Ugh... ah... that's it... ahhh...holy shit..." Seonghwa is moaning, nonstop as you let your tongue play around his length. "Fuck! darling, I never knew... you'd be this..." he pauses as he felt the warmth of your mouth. "Ohhh yes..."

You bop your head, sucking and licking every bits of him making him crazy. You're making sure he'll be wanting more from you or if not, will never forget the service you've given him.

"Y/n!" He cries. He puts his hands on the fridge for support. "Damn it!"

He pulls you up from your knees and start to make out with you.

"Fuck!" He looks at you, eye to eye. "You're not wearing a bra?" His hand is on your right boob, squeezing. He could feel how turned on you are under the shirt you are wearing. The tip is very hard and pointy. "8 guys... 7... less Woo...in this house and you're not wearing... a fucking bra? Do you know how dangerous this is?"

You smile putting your arms around his neck. "Do you want me to put on a bra or you'd want to taste it?"

A wide devilish grin spread across his lips. "You one naughty little princess..." he licks his lower lips and grinds his exposed length to your still covered core. "You'd regret turning me on even more... coz' darling... I'd bet you can not go jogging after I'm finished with you."

"Give it a go then..." you glance at the wall clock in the kitchen. "We have less than a hour before sunrise... before my parents and the rest of the boys wake up..."

He growls at your challenge. "Alright then..." he adjusts your positions and making you face the countertop. "Bend over..." he orders "and make sure to keep quiet..."

[beyondthesefourwalls]

Ohmygodohmygod

Mickey Garcia, smut, lingerie & 'keep your eyes on me'.

My first time writing for Fanboy and man oh man, did I enjoy it. Hope you like this!

-----

warnings: smut, oral sex (f receiving), language

Better Than Fiction

Mickey had been so excited when you surprised him with the gaming console he had been trying to get his hands on for months. He didn’t know you had been scouring the internet and calling every store in a 100 mile radius seeing if anyone had it or was getting it in stock in time for his birthday, but by the grace of the video game gods, you had managed to find one the day before his 30th birthday. You had broken more than a few speed limits going to get it to make sure no one else got it first, but the way he had lit up when he unwrapped it the next day had been worth the risk. It was so cute how happy he was and how he had immediately plugged it in and put in the game you had bought along with it. You didn’t even mind that he had spent the rest of his birthday playing it instead of the plans you had originally had. 

But that had been two weeks ago. And aside from when he was on base or in the air, Mickey hadn’t stopped playing it. You had barely had a full conversation with him, barely eaten any meals together, and your boyfriend, your sweet, normally horny and can’t keep his hands off you boyfriend, hadn’t touched you in two weeks. You were to the point of staging a break in and having the damn console be the only thing that went missing if he didn’t start paying attention to you soon. If your plan tonight didn’t work, you didn’t think you would have another choice. 

You stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of your shared apartment, fluffing your hair and adjusting the straps of your brand new lingerie. It was truly the skimpiest outfit you had ever worn. It was all sheer lace, lined in a blood red silk, and you felt so damn sexy. You ran a tube of your favorite red lipstick over your lips and stepped into the matching colored heels to complete the outfit. You had to give it to yourself - you looked damn good.

Giving yourself one more pep talk, you strutted into the living room. Like you anticipated, he was there on the couch, his controller in his hand as the video game played on the tv in front of him. He hadn’t even noticed you walk into the room. You cleared your throat from where you stood in the entry way, and he didn’t so much as glance in your direction. The last bit of your patience reached, you marched over to stand directly in front of him, your hands on your hips and face twisted in anger. 

“Honey, can you m…,” the words died off of Mickey’s tongue as he finally, finally looked at you. His eyes widened when he processed what you were wearing, his jaw dropping. “Holy shit.” 

“Mickey Garcia, I swear to God, if you don’t turn that thing off and keep your eyes on me for five fucking minutes, I’m going to throw it, and maybe you, out the damn window!”

You watched as he let the controller fall from his hand and clatter to the floor. Without taking his eyes off of you, he reached for the remote on the coffee table. He clicked the tv off without a word, and for the first time in two weeks, you didn’t hear some overdramatic, medieval battle playing as background noise in your apartment. Finally. 

“Mi amor…you look stunning. My God. You dressed up all for me?” 

HIs voice was filled with awe, and you could see his dick twitch from where it was confined within his thin athletic shorts. Satisfaction coursed through you, but you weren’t ready to let him off the hook yet. 

“I did,” you confirmed. You moved forward and straddled his lap, leaning forward to whisper directly into his ear. “But if you don’t have your head between my legs in the next thirty seconds to make up for the fact that you haven’t touched me in two weeks, I’m going to go find someone else who can appreciate it.” 

You barely got the words out before he was gripping your thighs and throwing you onto your back on the couch. You gasped in delight when he didn't hesitate to rip your brand new lingerie right off of you. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t realize I had been neglecting you. I’ll make it up to you.” He emphasized his words with kisses to your thighs, snipping at the skin. He buried his face in your pussy and inhaled deeply, groaning at your scent. You both groaned when he swiped his tongue through your folds. Oh, yes. This is exactly what you’ve been missing. 

“You can start by making me cum on your mouth,” you instructed, threading your fingers through his dark hair and pushing his face harder to you. His mouth felt heavenly as he worked you with his tongue diligently. “At least once. Maybe twice.” 

“I’ll make you cum as much as you want, mi amor,” he said, speaking the words against your soaking wet pussy before sucking your clit between his lips. “I’ll never ignore you again.” 

word count: 876

------

Wanna participate in the party? See details here.

[xomakara]

Diving Into You

DIY Chap. Master || Previous || Next

Chapter 002

“Yah, Haechan-ah,” you watched your same aged friend from your phone, as he began teasing the man that was your boyfriend. “Can I talk to my boyfriend without you clinging on to him?”

You were hanging out with your friends at a cafe that one of them owned, when your boyfriend decided to video call you. He had texted you earlier that he landed in Japan about a few hours ago and that he had to go prepare for the upcoming concert. You were surprised that he had time to call and when you mentioned that you were with your friends, he knew better than to say anything about what happened the night before.

“What?” Haechan leaned his head on Jeno’s shoulder, his eyebrows twitching up and down in a teasing manner. “You scared that I might take him from you? You should be worried that he has a whole bunch of dudes, other than me, that will keep him company at night.”

“As if. We all know who he comes running back to when he needs company.” You narrowed your eyes and scoffed.

“What did you do to him last night, noona?” Chenle asked, playing games with Jisung.

“Hyung looked tired out last night.” Jisung muttered. “Did you―”

“Keep it PG, kids.” Mark yelled from a corner of the waiting room. “I don’t need to hear what Jeno and Y/N got up to last night.”

“What are you insinuating Mark?” You replied back, watching as the man that was only a year older than you by a year, popped his head into the frame of the camera. You frowned at him, your friends all laughing. “All we did was watch movies and cuddle.”

“Cuddles lead to other things.” Jaemin said aloud, a mischievous look on his face. “Things that are…sexy.”

“Use protection, kids.” Renjun called out, the others chuckling. “We don’t need a mini Jeno here.”

Jeno shook his head, clearly amused about the whole conversation. He gave you a large smile. “Sorry about the guys, babe. You know how they are.”

“I hate you guys.” You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend’s group members. “Why am I friends with you all?”

“Because you love us!” Jaemin called out.

You continued to talk to your boyfriend and his members as they got ready for the concert. A few of the older NCT members talked to you, assuring that they’ll take good care of Jeno and that he will go back home to you, safe and sound. Jeno walked around the hallways of the venue, trying to find a place where he would be able to finally talk to you alone.

“Y/N, are you still upset with me?” Jeno asked, keeping his voice soft.

You shook your head, resting your chin on your propped elbow. “Kind of. I just really miss you Jeno.”

And you did miss him. He’s been busy for weeks and you only spent a brief moment to fuck last night before he had to leave. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to date an idol. You knew that there would be times where he wouldn’t be to see you because of his busy schedules. But with Jeno, he always made the effort to call you before you went to bed.

To tell you that he loved you and missed you.

“I miss you too, baby.” Jeno let out a small smile. “I promise I’ll be home and then you can have me all to yourself.”

“It’s a promise.”

He's back, and every pore on your body is electrified. You sense him sliding into bed. His strong arm, so strong, so familiar, slides around your waist.

His lips brush your earlobe, his tongue flicking warmly in the curve.

“Jeno…” You softly whispered, your fingers coming to entwine with his. “I missed you. So, so much.”

“I miss you so much too.” Jeno replied, his lips at the nape of your neck. “Y/N, I want to be inside you. All the fucking time. I can’t work. I can’t think. I can’t function. All I can think about is this…”

His hand dips between your legs, forcing a territorial path in your shorts. Four fingers cover your pussy, skillfully dragging up and down, urging your thighs to part.

“Fucking hell,” he whispers, just as a long finger finds home inside you, deep, his knuckles pressing into your flesh.

“Yes! God!” The curse escapes your lips as you shamelessly ride his hand.

He adds another finger to the satisfying onslaught, stretching you open. Your pussy lips parted to welcome his exploration. You clench your thighs, surrendering to the orgasm rippling too fast to the surface.

“Baby, tell me how bad you want my cock in here. Tell me what you want me to do to you…”

Your lips are dry, and you want nothing more to feel his tongue plunging in your mouth. His cock ramming your insides, spurting hot streams of his load in you. “Fill me deep, take me hard. I’m hollow and empty without your cock.”

You reach for his cock, and a satisfied chuckle bursts past your lips when you realize he's naked.

God, so deliciously naked. Your restraint snaps with a groan as you whirl around, covering his mouth with a hot kiss that matches the temperature of your trembling pussy lips. His fingers find their way inside you again, pumping upwards.

Gasping as you slide lower, you plant kisses down his chest, to his belly, and your fingers wrap around his cock a moment before your mouth claims the prize.

His strong body jerks. Your lips wrap around the head. Your ears ring. Squeezing the root of his cock, you suck hard, and a drop of hot saltiness coats your tongue.

He tastes like sin and wild pleasure, and his scent is your own personal brand of intoxication. You smack your lips tightly off the head, stroking his hard cock. A thick vein maps the length of the shaft. You can’t resist, and trace the swollen, pulsating vein with your tongue, again and again. Flattening your tongue against the base, you drag it up to the head.

He lets you know he loves what you’re doing, grunting every time your tongue strokes his sensitized cock. He’s watching you every second.

His hands underneath his head, he lets you play with his cock to your heart’s content, your mouth’s content. You know how he loves to be served, and it’s just as well because you’ve been aching for the taste of his cock.

Your pussy churns for more, that dull ache of longing pierces through it. You wrap both hands around his cock, fisting him as you suck the wide head, then let it hit deep into the back of your throat.

A sound that’s half-laugh half-groan rumbles through his powerful body, and he yanks you up by the arms, throwing you onto your back.

“I want more.” You pleaded.

“Oh, Y/N. I’ll give you fucking more. “

A scream of pure delight rips from your chest as his mouth closes hungrily over your pussy. Tasting it, sucking leisurely. His lips are hurried at first, making your hips churn. You revel in his tenacious greed, the foraying tongue making your toes curl.

Suddenly, the ferocious frenzy of his mouth halts. He’s taking his sweet time licking your pussy. Finding the hidden nub of your clit, he flicks his tongue over it again and again. It happens too fast. Before you know what's going on, you’re clenching your legs on either side of his head as the orgasm ripples wild.

The friction of his tongue on your clit. His finger is pumping in and out of you. It’s too much, yet still not enough.

You're still shivering with pleasure as he pushes your calves onto his shoulders, a moment before his cock is shoved full-force inside you…

Your fingernails dig into his rock-like arms as you draw him closer, clinging on for dear life. He rams his hard, thick cock in you, battering your insides, making you cry out for more with every rough landing.

“You're all mine, babe.” His words spill over you like a molten waterfall of lust. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you…”

You observe your sexy boyfriend, perfect in every way. His hands pin you in place, fingers digging into your thighs as he yanks you close every time he lunges. The harsh need is evident on every line and curve of his handsome face. It’s all for you. His lust. The madness to fuck. The rush to have all of you, all at once.

In that serene moment, it isn’t just him with power over you. You’re electrified with your power over his pleasure.

You’re all he wants, and the intensity of his molten need makes you reach for the thrusts. When he drops your legs and leans over to suck your breast, the frenzy continues.

His hips clenching tirelessly as his cock makes home inside you. His balls slapping loudly as they land against your flesh. His mouth tracing a possessive path over your body. He's worshiping you with his hands, mouth, tongue, and cock.

Your thighs begin to tingle, the burn spreading down your legs. Your breath catches in your throat. You claw at his back, a second time reaching for the orgasm that’s so close.

“Yes, please!” You cry out just as the shudder ripples through you, taking you on a wild trip of scorching hot pleasure. Flashes of starlight fizz behind closed eyelids. The friction of his cock satiating a deep-seated desperation for him—and him alone. “Jeno!”

His thrusts gain force, and you open your eyes just in time. Euphoric gratification clamps onto his features. His jaw is lax, his eyes closed, his head falling back as he jerks over and over, filling you with the intimacy of his load.

When his cock slips out, it pours a stream of white onto your belly. He doesn’t stop, grinding on your navel back and forth until he’s spent. The evidence of his lust fills you, coats your body.

Falling to his side, he pulls you close. Filling your lungs with the incredible scent of him, you stroke his chest, mindlessly tracing circles around his nipple.

This calm, intimate moment is heaven for you—but in complete contradiction to the single-minded fucking he’s capable of. You stroke his chest with the back of your hand, making your way down to his semi-hard cock. Unintentionally, you’re memorizing every breath, every touch, every movement of his perfect body. This is it.

This is what it’s supposed to feel like. Crazy. Wild. Intimate.

Next thing you know, you jerk awake as his lips brush yours.

You reach for his arm  and he tightens his hold on you. “Welcome home, Jeno.”

He chuckles, leaning his forehead against yours before rolling unto his back, dragging you to lay on top of him. “I’m glad to be home. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

DIY Chap. Master || Previous || Next

[not-goldy]

Forget the popcorn, pass me and JK the alcohol cause I never thought we'd see a triangle song with Vmin and Miss BP. I'm teasing, put down the pitch forks cause its funny. However, isn't it interesting how Vmin weren't 'soulmating' as much when Tae was off with Jennie rubbing it in everyone's faces? And when Tae held JN's hand in paris for the first time, Jimin released that dance video that same day of him dancing to a song called Masquerade by Midnatt where the video starts with Jimin coming out of a closet? Those lyrics and that timing of Tae and JN strolling in Paris. Sideyeing you a bit right now, Jimin. Then after Jimin's fuck you its over Face album where he talks about a masquerade party, then came Tae's I'm sorry, don't tell me its over, Layover album with Tae begging someone back & suddenly Vmin were magically 'soulmating' again all over the damn place during Layover, which was littered with Jimin connections, topped off with Tae public serenading Jimin, introducing him has his BFF and them singing their soulmate song in our faces in 2023? Aww did Vmin finally kiss and make up?

Anyways, the theories are cracking me up. I haven't laughed this hard in a while and I have really needed a good day. Should we do a drinking game? Anytime Tae drops a Jimin reference in his songs, take a drink? Tae you gotta move on love, its been 84 years, Jimin is a taken man, but you can still hit me with a follow up track to your Jimin songs though. I don't mind. I'll take another. Cheers. P.S. Jikook come home. Its getting chaotic around here. We going stir crazy.

I snorted and laughed the pouty pants can pout all they want we just having a good laugh out here😩

Baby hold on lemme run to X for reference 🤣

Oooooohhhh I just remember thinking it's weird his interpretation of the song lifting his shirt, showing off his bum and that sexy pose- he's never beating the gay allegations 😩🤣

Aaaahhh the shipping is shipping my goodness

I loove the angst😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'll take you up on that challenge what are we drinking 👀

All the Jimin Easter eggs gotta get me drunk somehow I feel

To think a few days ago I was bored out of my mind!

A wins a win

Cheers mate🍻

[ripplestitchskein]

I'm new to stolitz and HB and your takes/ your essay was a breath of fresh air. Maybe it's because I'm new here in the HB fandom, but I've seen more people talking shit about Stolas/"Stolas fans" than actual "toxic" Stolas fans? And don't get me started on those horrible ass takes calling Stolas a sexual assaulter/abuser or comparing Stolitz to Angel and Valentino, likening Stolas to Valentino.

It bothers the heck out of me but at the end of the day, with more exposure to that noise I can navigate how to tune it out and they can stay bitter and talk shit about everything they watch while we wait for "Full Moon"

Welcome Nonnie! Thank you so much! I’ve really missed doing things like this. It’s been awhile since I interacted this heavily with a fandom as nothing has really caught my brain this intensely for a long time so it’s nice to discover likeminded people in it. I’m new too! We can be new together.

It’s funny, I didn’t even know about HB until after I watched Hazbin, I had seen literally zero things about it, and while I had heard of Hazbin over the years and had seen Alastor I didn’t know what it was, I thought it was one of those popular dating sims, or like a new tumblr sexy man thing I hadn’t heard about which is hilarious to me now. A bunch of my IRL friends were talking about Hazbin a lot though and I love musical theater and have been on a personal art journey for a while (it started as getting better at art for video games, I’m a software engineer, but turned into me making a comic somehow because I’m a lifelong writer too) and the art style intrigued me so I decided to check it out. I loved it a lot, but like a normal amount. When I came on here people were talking about Helluva Boss so I’m like “ooh, more content” so we watched that and my brain saw Stolas and Stolitz and started the sirens. Like literally a “Oh no I love him” moment in LooLoo Land.

There are just characters and ships that hit just right. Imagine my surprise when I went into fandom spaces and there were people with these crazy interpretations of them and of Stolas I couldn’t reconcile with what I’d just watched. Like at all. Well I was surprised, but I’ve been around a fandom or two so I wasn’t that surprised but in this instance it was especially strange to me. It didn’t jive AT ALL with the show I just watched. Honestly, that intrigued me as much as the ship did.

Especially the Stolas takes. I’m like “This guy? This complete dork who is trying to mirror what his crush wants so bad he might as well be made of silvered glass?” “Evil Sexual assaulter? The guy in the royal romper who sings to his daughter and gets excited over legal contracts and makes silly little owl noises? This is the guy who has some evil sexual coercion plot over the dude who threatened to fuck his employees 11 minutes into the show and can’t go ten minutes without saying cum?” It was REALLY confusing let me tell you. Like you have this really fucked up reality where murder is A-Okay and characters that say vile shit to each other as a matter of course and people are all up in arms about a transactional sexual relationship? It just seemed like one of the least problematic things some of these characters do lol and I felt like I was in a room where something important happened and I missed it.

I’m pretty good about taking in different views, because of my ND I try really hard to understand where people are coming from and kind of assume I missed something everyone else knew from being in the fandom for so long, that being new I didn’t know, but the more I looked into it the more it seemed tied to an interpretation of the character that wasn’t in what I had watched. I watched the VivziePop channel playlist which does not have the Pilot. When I found out about the original Pilot some quotes made a *little* more sense especially with the huge gaps in content releases, but I’m still fucking baffled a lot of the time tbh. Sometimes I feel like these people are watching an entirely different show based on that Pilot and our social media have crossed universes.

I’m used to this though, the last major characters to take over my brain were MXTX characters, Bakugou from MHA and Killian Jones before that so I am pretty used to people having character interpretations who can’t get past first impressions, and ignore like literally years of development. (More about the last two, the MXTX fandom is one of the best I’ve been in, everyone seems to be really happy with the canon content there all around, I can’t think of any hate I’ve ever seen about any character tbh, even the actual villains. Fan fiction game is on point too, so many good writers in that fandom).

I’m also used to people ascribing love of a fictional character to a real life moral failing. My view has always been that I enjoy more complex characters and stories that aren’t always squeaky clean because it’s fiction and it’s fucking boring if everyone in it are these perfect unflawed cardboard cutouts who always act the right way, never hurt other people, and never make mistakes or fuck up or miscommunicate. People approaching relationships from differing points of view, struggling with darkness and trauma, and reconciling their issues especially together or to BE together is the fucking BEST thing about fiction.

Fandoms are fucking bizarre is what I’ve ultimately landed on. And they don’t understand what toxic means. Or problematic. Like just plain do not understand those words.

We’ll be fine Nonnie! Let’s just keep flailing over things we love, crying over the angst train that is surely coming full speed at our faces (and will probably have to deal with for years because of the release schedule), and enjoy theorizing, speculating, analyzing and creating content with other like minded people! Come vent in my inbox anytime and I’ll keep writing War and Peace length essays about 15 minute long episodes.

Seriously though, the man wears a ROYAL THEMED ROMPER how could ANYONE hate him? I love him so much.

I will say the one downside of this fandom is I know more about avian genitalia and reproduction than I ever needed to.

[ramsprompts]

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑻 𝑩𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑶𝑴𝑺 . ᵛᵃʳᶤᵒᵘˢ ˡʸʳᶤᶜ ᵖʳᵒᵐᵖᵗˢˑ . PART 2.

"you are the reason i'm smiling."

"one day you will find someone who will love you the way you deserve."

"your skin's not so tough."

"i'll leave a tiny cut."

"there'll be a lot of blood."

"you are my angel."

"you are my crime."

"i'm gonna miss you when you leave."

"you're probably right."

"i don't wanna fight."

"i should think before i talk."

"i should think about my life."

"it's just so hard."

"i know how really sad you are."

"i'm probably gonna leave real soon."

"just wanted to let you know."

"you probably don't even know what that means."

"it's french."

"i know what it means."

"you don't have to be so mean."

"you probably don't understand what i mean."

"who was i kidding?"

"i can't get past you."

"better than nothing at all."

"i fell asleep in the front seat."

"i'm too tall."

"come on, baby."

"calm me down."

"i feel fucked."

"i'm gonna go get so stoned."

"there is someone else there just like me."

"i know cpr."

"i know mouth to mouth."

"i swear to god the devil made me do it."

"bad habits are the hardest ones to break."

"our love is a dangerous game."

"i cannot walk away."

"i'm full of shit."

"i just want this to mean something."

"it's gonna look like mud."

"i will help you swim."

"it's no big surprise you turned out this way."

"i begged you to stay."

"hey man, i love you ... but no fucking way."

"i'm sure we find something for you to do on stage."

"it should have felt good."

"kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face."

"i wanna contribute to the chaos."

"i don't wanna watch."

"i am through finding blame."

"that is a decision that i have made."

"she hopes i'm cursed forever."

"sometimes i cry."

"i guess it's true what they say."

"i am emotional."

"i wish we were forever laying on the santa monica beach."

"heavenly bodies make the devil a little uncomfortable."

"there are some things i was just born to be."

"it's such a big city."

"i feel so stupid."

"i was so bored before i met you."

"i met you and everything changed."

"you should admit it."

"i probably won't."

"i'm just saying it's a bummer, man."

"i guess i'll go."

"you were my baby."

"you were too good."

"i should've known."

"you were a cross my hands could never hold."

"tell me what i need to hear."

"i asked her to sit down."

"allow me to try and explain myself."

"i can still hold a knife."

"if you ever twist my arm again, i'll be sure to put up more of a fight."

"i'm a sucker."

"i am still in love with you."

"love is simple, just like mud."

"i thought i didn't have to care about anything."

"it's funny you should ask..."

"it's freezing."

"you look so sexy."

"come on, [name], speak a little french to me."

"i was just another thing you left behind."

"i don't remember."

"one, two, three ... "

"everyone say cheese!"

"turns out it was a video."

"i have felt so lost for so long."

"this love will be never be convenient."

"it's not like a movie when we kiss."

"all i want is to want nothing."

"it just doesn't make sense."

"why can't it work out in my head?"

"let's talk about it."

"meet my pregnant girlfriend."

"watch my bank account run dry."

"it's not easy."

"hey [name] , if you still believe in the lord above .. get on your hands and knees and pray for us."

"the past few months were pretty rough."

"i've never cried like that before."

"i'm just preparing for nightmares."

"nothing feels alright now."

"crying like a baby solves nothing."

"so what, so where do i go?"

"now i am happy."

"there are answers here."

"there is nothing wrong with my lifestyle."

"breathe in. hold it , hold it . now let it out."

"it's just not who i am."

"i'm talking way too fast."

"he's looking at me."

"i wish the light would turn green."

"i'll move to florida."

"you can't touch me."

"i don't feel like singing."

"i don't really like these songs."

"i don't feel like dancing."

"let's keep it quiet."

"keep me in love, keep me believing it's with you."

"god forbid i ever stop feeling sorry for myself."

"this is not the way i plan on living for the rest of my life."

"it gets me by."

"the thought of starting over always sounds so much better."

"next thing that i know i was removing all my clothes."

"i don't regret it."

"you were the best i ever had."