#i miss being active and i have sooooo many projects i want to work on jeez…

[elizakai]

god the burnout is real i’m so sorry.

i haven’t forgotten abt that dtiys tho i swear. ,:)

i’m having a…REALLY hard time picking winners for that, everyone’s drawings were so so lovely

i wanted to ask if yall are opposed to me doing a raffle for participants instead of picking a winner?? it would be randomized instead?

let me know how you feel about that /gen

[abcd-adventures]

Do you mind talking about what you did/now do with the literary organization you now volunteer for but had worked for?

I was at that job for 6.5 years, and I definitely don’t mind talking about it because I’m really proud (and, prepare yourself, not at all humble) about what I was able to do there!

I was initially moved into the position of volunteer coordinator at that job from curriculum creation because the volunteer manager left unexpectedly and I was “good with people.” (I eventually became the community engagement program manager, but who actually cares about titles?? Not me.) I learned in about five minutes that the requirements of the job when I took it, once the process was tweaked, would take me all of an hour a week. . .sooooo at the time I was full-time and was like, “WELLLLL, what am I going to be doing with myself the other 39 hours a week!?”

Let me back up a bit and say this was a literacy organization providing free books to children through Medicaid clinics (which was someone else’s focus), Title I (predominantly serving low-income students) schools, and Headstart Preschools, and certain qualifying other organizations (my domain was educational campuses). Providing books is a good thing! However, I always felt like providing books to every kid twice a year and a guest reader twice a year was nice and all but not reallllllly making a significant dent in improving literacy. So, with all of my extra time, I started talking to the school teachers, librarians, principals, students, parents, etc. and finding out what THEY thought would improve the overall literacy efforts at their campuses. Turns out (unsurprisingly), it was a lot: more inspiring and functional spaces, more hands-on activities, more volunteer support, more DIVERSE books, more events around reading, more opportunities for parent interaction in these events, MORE books in general, cozy reading spaces, library props and equipment--THE LIST GOES ON!

Soooo, I went to my boss and was like, “Here are these things that our stakeholders are saying they actually need in order to truly improve literacy on their campuses. I would like to help them.” She was basically like, “Cool, but we’re not giving you any money for that. If you have extra time after completing your responsibilities and can do it yourself, go for it.” (Obviously, I didn’t mention that I was completing my responsibilities at the time in an hour. . .) CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. So, I started recruiting corporate, civic, and student groups to adopt projects related to needs that they were uniquely suited to fulfill--I did this based on location, whether the group could provide funds for a project, what the group’s skill set(s) were, what amount of time they were offering, how many people were going to be involved, and what their interests were. Turns out, LOTS of companies give their employees time off and funding to volunteer, and there are a lot of talented people in our area! So, I built amazing relationships and used them to do some--here’s me not being humble--awesome things! I created a wish list from our campuses and I paired groups to their projects. I did everything from a full campus makeover with an entire team from a Fortune 500 company to small things like having a group of engineers from a wind energy company read kids The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, teach kids about wind energy, and then build wind-powered cars with them. And, I raised a crap load of money, too (which we used to improve our book selection AND give more books). I LOVED that job because I was constantly doing unique things, having to think on my feet and problem solve in the moment, uniting people who wanted to help with people who needed help in some of the most absolutely perfect fits that just made my heart explode, and I had complete and total freedom! I even negotiated down to 30 hours a week (with my same 40 hour salary) once I got settled in and had such great contacts and well-trained school staffers and volunteers who could be trusted without my immediate supervision. I miss it a little--which is why I still volunteer doing book sorting and collection cultivation on Thursdays--but it was definitely a CRAZY job. There’s so much need, so of course I wanted to do EVERYTHING. And, it was a job that required all kinds of running around, a million emails, calls, and site visits, etc. It was incredibly rewarding, but I’m ready for something else. Plus, it would look so different now in the days of COVID and I’m honestly THRILLED I’m not having to deal with the additional stress of all THAT. YIKES.

I think that job is one of the reasons people doubt me when I say I’m an introvert and not really a huge planner in my personal life. Hahahaha!

[sufferingink]

Mixed up Miraculous AU Part3: flaws

a lot of my problems with the current show stem from characters not having flaws, or at least flaws that cause long standing issues throughout episodes. Marinette herself is a pretty good example of this to me, because her flaws are treated more like funny quirks that come up very little. Like with her almost kissing a wax statue because it looked like Adrien, haha so... so funny. so because no one asked for it, I’m going to write a full post detailing the flaws of some characters. (note: started writing this before the specials came out. might be irrelevant now)

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (the big one)

So you know how in canon, marinette tripping over something or walking into a wall is a gag that’s in like a grand total of 12 scenes per season? and that’s considered one of her major flaws??? It’s not! But I’m going to dial it up a bit so the contrast between civilian and superhero is incredibly obvious!! This makes her the one that’s the most cautious but also the one that can wave away injuries the easiest.

One of the more fleshed out aspects of her character is that she is always losing arguments. That sounds weird. It’s more like the reason behind why she loses them is fleshed out. Most of the people she argues with are very good at make people believe they gave them evidence when they really just handed them hot air. Marinette knows what they’re saying isn’t true, but is so lost in anger that she doesn’t even provide hot air. It makes her seem like she just expects people to believe her because she’s... Marinette. the goody two shoes(have you seen how much stuff she’s stolen?). the one that never lies (or is at least semi-okay at it). It’s kind of rude to have the belief that everyone should believe you because you’re you, but that’s kind of always how it goes in hidden role games sooooo... maybe she’ll be fine.

BURNOUT!!yay. marinette is constantly signing onto new projects and throughout this hypothetical series you could see it take a toll on her. she becomes irritable and her anxiety goes through the roof. Pumilio jumps from rooftops half asleep. It worries everyone around her. She is near constantly complaining about her workload but has convinced herself that taking even a day to recharge is being lazy

she carries around fabric and buttons everywhere. just kind of does, for some reason. Jumpp doesn’t care so..

something something kissing a wax statue because it looks like your crush isn’t cute it just makes you look creepy. 

fuckin’ BAMBOOZLED by automatical doors, apparently.

Adrien Agreste

This kid has SO many trust issues and anxieties. He’s constantly aware that everyone trying to get close to him might just be doing it for fame (that’s why he’s more comfortable as a superhero. not much fame you could get from that). He’s constantly aware of his own appearance because he doesn’t want to upset his father. He worries that someday his friends will realize how much of a disaster he is and just... leave. Of course, he has to hide all of this (”worry wrinkles are bad for business”).

This dude can’t properly sit still to save his life. Not necessarily a flaw and more a character trait I guess? That’s why he looks so sad at homeschool. He wants to socialize, sure, but he also wants to climb a damn tree.

(this is one specific to this au) When the group discover the cat miraculous, Adrien was hesitant to take it. Pollen was one of his friends, and the only one he could really talk to about everything. Not to mention Pollen’s own worries, as most of their holders gave them up to become something different. he still took it, because the reasoning was sound and he had no real reason to deny it. But he never properly activated it. He didn’t want Pollen to feel like they were getting replaced.

He lets people off the hook far too easily. Doesn’t want the anger.

Alya Cesaire

For a reporter, she jumps to conclusions far too quickly. Barest amount of evidence and she will go reveal it to the world without even checking the sources (tip: check your sources. I can’t believe i have to say it). That being said, I do like the idea of her slowly piecing together the heroes’ identities. Like at the end of the first season,she makes a small comment about how much Adrien looks like Abeille and there’s little hints that she may be figuring it all out.

Gets frustrated with her friends easily because she knows they’re hiding something but she can’t tell what. Stupid AND terrible at lying? unacceptable.

kind of sort of really used to justifying invading other people’s privacy. She... really shouldn’t be doing that. stop, please.

Alya can’t ever force herself to do something. If she doesn’t like the work she’s given, she will either choose something adjacent to it, or will just straight up ignore it. Makes her grades suffer and her confidence in herself plummet

Nino Lahiffe

This kid just might be the most stable one here. He doesn’t overwork himself, he finishes his work on time, he’s relatively steady on his feet. but where everyone in his class is famous to some extent, nino just... isn’t. the most impressive thing he’s ever done is win an obviously rigged game show. He jealous, most days. When Marinette hands out free croissants, he’s thinking about how much he would have to pay for just one. When Alya’s complaining about how few people liked her posts, nino’s remembering the day where he finally hit 1k. Everytime Chloe uses her father’s influence for something petty, he remembers listening to his parents sob about not being able to afford their tiny apartment. he keeps it to himself.

He highkey feels like an outsider in his own life. (this might be triggering, I’ll put a funny summary at the end) Like maybe one day, he’ll wake up and everything will be perfectly fine without him. Pavonine will still be there, his friends, his family... none of them would ever even notice if he just sat in bed forever. Duusuu would probably notice and try to cheer him up, which would only make it worse.(hey, did I say the end? I meant right here. summarizing two sentences: Nino may or may not have depression. Duusuu may or may not be accidently making it worse.) Ironically, these days come most often when people notice him the most. Adrien straight up hands him four duct taped lunchables because Nino mentioned ants got into his food. Alya jokingly accuses him of being Pavonine for her blog (”He wears a SUIT, dude,” is really the only evidence he gives for it not being him. this somehow works). SOMEONE filled his locker paper frogs and Shrek Devito strickers (real thing. i have one on my desk). No one’s as surprised as he is when Mme. Bustier agrees to put them on well written papers.

kind of overbearing when it becomes to groups, but doesn’t like being the leader.

has this really terrible cough, hmmm I woNDER WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

Tikki (Kwami)

Gods, no matter how small and cute, work in absolutes. Their moral standing is no different. Tikki has particularly strong moral compass, and pretty much never sways in her belief. if her holder tries to use a lie she deems unnecessary, she will use her hold over them to voice her opinion in a less than savory manner (she’s a god, and she’s basically been in lockdown for one hundred years. She’s allowed to have a bit of a disconnect from what hurts)

Plagg (Kwami)

You know how in the last one I basically said that all Kwamis are all somewhere in the Good alignment? Plagg’s a straight up Chaotic Neutral. He wants his owners (and tikki) to be happy, but he’s only there for that. will happily leave as people stop yelling at him. He doesn’t hurt his holders, but he is very sarcastic.

Pollen (Kwami)

Very loyal, very quickly. they find their group and protect them to their final breath. Their holders tend to be offered better Miraculous and leave Pollen in the dust. They take this very personally, and refuse to work with that holder ever again. These holders have... not great endings, but Pollen refuses to feel guilt. 

Duusuu (Kwami)

they basically have no control over their emotions, and tend to increase their holders emotions. More recently, their Miraculous has broken, and infects their host with some sort of strange sickness. They’re so determined to spot any symptoms that they miss their current holder’s worsening mental health.

Jumpp (Kwami)

They have gone so long without everything that they cling to it so tightly that they restrict change. When your holder very much needs a change, there’s tension. They try to force their holder to stay transformed, so they don’t throw away their miraculous.

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, woohoo!

(And also kind of a NaNo roundup post because that was last month, after all…)

NaNo:

Sooooo I didn’t finish, lol. Not that I was…super expecting to, exactly, but I was hopeful! I think I just missed too many days in a row and lost all my momentum.

In terms of my goals, I was hoping to write:

1. 20-25k on Precipice 2. 20-25k on our faces like a mirror 3. 10-20k on Other Projects. 4. 50-70k total

In terms of what I actually accomplished:

1. 9,241 on Precipice (Sooooooo....about half of what I’d hoped, a little less. But I still got a fair amount done/prepped for upcoming chapters, plus a couple chapters actually posted, even while doing other stuff, so...go me!) 2. 9,043 on our faces like a mirror (Again, a bit less than half of what I’d hoped for, but I got enough done for the story/etc. to take a real Shape in my head. ...ish. See the specific OFLAM stuff later on in the post...) 3. 10,601 on Other Projects (Hey, I actually met this goal! ...barely, but still! Mostly thanks to the Nikita/Rebels crossover, lol...) 4. 28,885 total

Original Fiction:

I got a decent chunk of a big backstory piece for Lux done (in the form of a “then” and “now” set of scenes/vignettes for the five Archangels)--that being said, I’m not sure I actually like what I have there, lol. I know more or less what I need to cover, but the details are fiddly. Also not sure whether I should refer to Lux by her current name, for consistency’s sake, or use a different name (either Lightbringer or just Lucifer) since she does technically reshape her name after being released when the main Apocalypse storyline kicks off…also debating whether Lux should be/present as female way back when--angels don’t really do gender the way humans do in this ‘verse, but the closest human term for Lux would be genderfluid, sooooo IDK. Also also, for the ‘Now’ part…ehhh, I’m not sure I should have this be the first thing I post involving Trixie…but I’ll keep poking at it and see what comes out.

(I’d also planned to work on the big Kesshare character study saturation for The Farglass Cycle this month, and maybe go back to my untitled first-contact story, but neither of those happened, lol.)

Precipice:

We’re in the home stretch! Kinda. So to speak. Probably three to four more chapters in Arc Seven, which I’m hoping-fingers-crossed I’ll finish by the end of the calendar year??? (But given how much other stuff I hope to work on (see Other Fanfic Projects for more details…)

At that point--and I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably put it in an A/N in the next chapter or so, but following the end of Milestones, I’m planning to break off into a second/sequel fic, working title Protectors. This is at least in part because length (over 200k wtf I was anticipating 50-75k, maybe 100k, for these seven arcs @.@), but also was sort of planned even without the Length issue, due to some thematic/structure shifts following a six-year timeskip. Which, if you do the math, you can probably figure out where that’ll land us and why I might be structuring it this way…

Anyway, I’ve increasingly realized that there’s some stuff I should probably set up that I’ll need for later arcs in Part 2 involving some Rebels characters, more with the Last Batch, plus a Sith Apprentice who needs to turn up and die (although the gap between Infernalis and the next apprentice I actually care about/have a name and some kind of Plot for is only about four years in my mental timeline, so maybe there isn’t an active Apprentice in that period*…hmmmmm…), some background about the Hands, etc. But I feel like it’s all a little too disjointed for an entire additional arc. So, Arc 7.5, tentatively titled Preludes, is also going to be a thing XD I don’t think I’ll have a fixed schedule for that vs. the main storyline--and, honestly, it’ll probably work more like a collection of one-shots taking place during the timeskip than a proper Arc, but a little more Relevant than stuff that goes in Bonus Content, if that makes sense? It’ll probably be posted alongside at least arcs 8 and 9. Which, incidentally, take place more or less back-to-back and cover a fairly short period of time, but there is A Lot of plot/setup that goes into them. Like. If I tried to do it all as one arc, it’d be at least twice as long as any of the other arcs I’ve done, possibly including Arc Four--certainly over twenty chapters, I think--plus there’s a good (and by good I mean Horrible) place where I can split the arcs, so…we’ll see how that goes.

(…still not sure what to do with Maul, lol. He may just be Sir Darth Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, or he might turn up in arc 10/11/13, which are the sort of vaguest of the next seven arcs which make up Protectors, in terms of how much I have planned out…)

(*On a semi-related note, I’ve been asked about Inquisitors a couple times in comments lately, and…well, I’ll probably mention this when I reply to the commenter in question, but I figured I’d set it out here as well, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing but doesn’t read other peoples’ comments. Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned at the start, when I plotted out** the bulk of this fic, I hadn’t seen Rebels yet. I’ve since decided to integrate a few characters/plot points (Kallus and Zeb will feature prominently in a subplot in arcs 13 and 14, for example), but, as a rule, characters and plot points from Rebels haven’t been taken into account unless I Really Like Them and/or they’re a good way to fill in a plot hole in a later arc, as with Kallus and Zeb. So, for example, when I include Thrawn, I’m writing more towards Legends!Thrawn in terms of personality, though the two have blended a bit in my head and I do reference specific events in Disney!Thrawn’s personal timeline; and b) more relevantly, I hadn’t made any plans to include Inquisitors, and that…hasn’t really changed. So, I might have them in Preludes, but they almost certainly won’t show up on-page/be super-relevant in the main arcs of the fic, sorry :/ )

(**Loooool I say “Plotted Out” like I’m the kind of author with a Master Plan or at least an outline. But I did have a general idea of the Major Plot Points going in, such as when Rex and Ahsoka would turn up, Luke’s storyline with Lavinia, how many Apprentices I would need to make them work, etc., and I’ve had parts of Arcs 8, 9, and 14 written for like at least two years now, so I know more or less where I’m going--though they’ll be edited once I have more of the connective tissue in place, in case I’ve accidentally Jossed myself…or I change my mind, which is becoming A Possibility with a major event set to happen in Arc 14, so…we’ll see.)

Aaaaaanyway. Exciting times ahead, I hope!

Other Fanfic:

This month, I finally posted another AU outline, woohoo! …I mean, it was a super-niche Nikita/Rebels crossover with a handful of OCs thrown in but who’s counting XD (I do actually intend to finish Let’s Go Steal a Crossover and update the Ventress one at some point but…yeah).

I also put out a Kallus one-shot that I think turned out really well. May do more of those at some point, who knows…

I made some significant progress on our faces like a mirror, as mentioned above! But now I’m waffling a little bit over structure. Basically, the fic covers Bo-Katan’s backstory from the time Satine becomes Duchess, through the Civil War, and eventually leads to Bo’s eventual break with her sister to join Death Watch. It comes in two pretty distinct halves--what I call the Fugitive arc in my notes, which covers the Civil War, and the Breakdown arc, which is everything after her return to Sundari.

So, my original plan was--prologue covering at least part of the final Epic Screaming Match that leads to Bo’s departure; jump back to the Fugitive Arc; and then follow through until we catch up to the prologue, with a coda/epilogue with her and Pre Viszla. The problem is, there’s…really not a lot to connect the two halves??

I’ve got a couple options on what to do about this, but I’m not sure which would be best.

Option One: Keep the structure as-is and just let it be episodic.

Option Two: Keep the structure as-is and find some way to connect the two halves (i.e., a recurring antagonist; I do have an idea of who this could be, but the problem is, it takes away a good chunk of the focus from Bo and Satine’s relationship for the Breakdown Arc…which I don’t really want to do.)

Option Three: Remove the framing device and focus on the Breakdown Arc, and include the Fugitive Arc as flashbacks, since the Breakdown Arc can’t really stand on its own. (The main issue I have with this one is that, if I want to actually write out future chunks of Bo’s life later--meaning, her time with Death Watch, and getting her from TCW to Rebels--I won’t have these flashbacks and I don’t want to change the structure too radically for any eventual sequels? Also, I’m not sure how I feel about a flashback structure for this fic in general…)

Option Four: Remove the framing device and focus on the Fugitive Arc, ending the story with Bo’s return to Sundari. (Two issues with this one--I really do want to go into the Breakdown Arc; that’s where my interest in this story started. Also, due to the constraints of setting and so on, Bo interacts with…like…two canon characters over the course of the Fugitive Arc? And while I don’t really have a problem writing a story that’s essentially a Backstory Epic for a tertiary character, populated by about 90% OCs, I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read that, except as the lead-in to the Breakdown Arc??? But maybe I’m overthinking…)

…so, yeah. Any thoughts/opinions on which option would be Best? (I may make a separate post asking the same question later, but figured I’d lay it all out here, too!)

Also, I’m working on a Secret Santa project, and probably not going to use OFLAM for SWBB, which means I need to come up with and write a different plotline of some kind, so back to the drawing board on that one…

Also also, I do genuinely plan to get Distaff off hiatus At Some Point, especially since I’ve gotten some new comments/responses lately…but given how much else I have on my plate, writing-wise, that probably won’t happen until next year, alas.

Anyway, the long and short of it is--lots of writing planned for this month! Now let’s see how much I actually get done XD

What about the rest of you? What’ve y’all been up to/what do you have planned for next month?

[themyskira]

The Life of Captain Marvel - prologue

Sooooo, yep, we’re doing this.

I’m going to recap this travesty of a comic issue by issue, but before we dig into the many crimes of The Life of Captain Marvel, I thought it would be helpful to lay down some context.

Margaret Stohl’s miniseries radically reimagines Carol’s origin and family, in particular her parents, Joe and Marie Danvers. So let’s take a look at who they were before Stohl took a hacksaw to them.

Joe and Marie Danvers are first introduced in Ms Marvel vol. 1 #13 (1978) by Chris Claremont and Jim Mooney.

Some background for this: In the 70s, cape comics were increasingly delving into social issues not only as story fodder, but as a selling point. Successes like the 1970 Green Lantern/Green Arrow (which explored addiction, racism, income inequality and corruption) and The Amazing Spider-Man’s 1971 “Green Goblin Reborn!” (which famously abandoned the Comics Code in order to portray the negative impact of drug abuse) prompted more comics to address relevant social issues of the day (with… varying degrees of sensitivity, shall we say).

The Ms Marvel comic, which launched in 1977, was heavily coloured by (a white male comic writer’s interpretation of) the women’s liberation movement. It’s flagged right there in the title: as both a civilian and in her superhero alter ego, Carol Danvers refuses to be defined by her marital status, insisting on being called ‘Ms’ rather than ‘Miss’.

“And one thing more, Jonah… My name is Ms. Carol Danvers.”

When we first meet Carol in issue #1, she’s introduced as a smart, driven career woman and a proud feminist who is hired by J. Jonah Jameson as editor of the Bugle’s Woman magazine (an allusion to the feminist Ms magazine). In the space of a page, she’s talked the penny-pinching Jonah into paying her a high salary, while refusing to cave to his insistence that she prioritise diets and recipes over interviews and stories about women’s issues and activities.

To what extent the 1970s Ms Marvel succeeds as a feminist hero is debatable. What’s important here is that Carol is framed from the get-go as a hero who fights against misogyny as well as the usual parade of supervillains.

So obviously her dad was going to be a male chauvinist.

Carol: Dad, it’ll take more than words to stop Plumm. You need evidence. I’m a journalist — a trained investigator. If the building’s unsafe, I can help you prove it. I can get— Joe: Outta here, Kitten, an’ leave a man t’ do a man’s work in peace.

But Chris Claremont, to his credit, gave the character and the relationship a little more nuance than that.

“Joe Danvers. Five-nine and two hundred pounds of muscle, a man who’s worked his entire life with his hands, who started with nothing and built a successful contracting business until the recession of ’76 kicked it in the teeth.”

We first meet Joe at work on a construction site. The high-rise project has been plagued with problems, thanks to what we’ll later discover is deliberate sabotage by the site owner, and now one of Joe’s crew is trapped dangling from a fallen steel pylon several storeys above. Joe rushes to the man’s aid.

Man: Joe, what’re ya doin’?! Joe: Whaddaya think?! He’s one o’ my crew— I’m goin’ out after him!

With his courage and quick thinking, Joe saves the man’s life.

Andy: I’m scared, Joe. My God, am I gonna die?!? Joe: Not if I can help it. Just hang loose, Andy, and trust me!

Joe begins to suspect that the owner is cutting corners at the expense of workers’ safety. Investigating after hours, he discovers the whole site is at risk of structural collapse. Furious, he calls the owner, who first denies it and then tries to threaten Joe into silence. Joe refuses to be cowed.

Plumm: We’re within the building codes. Joe: Bull! Plumm: I warn you, Danvers— push me too far and I’ll make you live to regret it. Joe: Stick it in yer ear, punk! You’re finished, Plumm — ‘cause I’m blowin’ the whistle on you an this pitiful excuse for a buildin’!

Throughout, Claremont takes the time to illustrate the commonalities between Carol and her father. They’re both people of courage and conviction, with nerves of steel. They also share a stubbornness and a temper that doesn’t always do either of them any favours.

And, yeah, Joe is a sexist jerk.

When Carol offers her journalistic skills and connections to help expose Plumm, Joe dismisses her. And when Ms Marvel ultimately saves Joe’s life, he grumbles about her interfering. The idea that he might need a woman’s help to do a ‘man’s work’ is utterly demeaning in his mind.

In later issues, we learn that the reason Carol joined the military in the first place was because it was the only way she could afford to pay for college after Joe flatly refuses to help her out, saying it’s more important for her brother Steve to get an education and “besides, you don’t need college to find a good husband”.

So Carol joins the Air Force, makes her own way, builds her dream career and becomes a hero on her own terms. Yet no matter how high she flies, it never seems to be enough for Joe. He doesn’t understand what she wants from life, she doesn’t meet his expectations for what a daughter or a young woman ought to be, and for that Carol feels she’s never been able to gain his approval or acceptance.

“All I ever wanted was for Dad to accept me as I am, not as he wanted me to be. And now I know that no matter what I do, or how well I do it— he never will.”

Marie, unfortunately, gets short shrift in Claremont’s Ms Marvel. We see that she’s supportive and proud of Carol, buying every issue of Carol’s magazine and enthusiastically recommending it to all of her friends. We see that, unlike Joe, Marie sees Carol for who she is and loves her for it. And she’s not fooled for a second by the Ms Marvel costume.

“I gave birth to you, Carol. I raised you. I love you. I’d know my first-born anywhere, behind any disguise.”

But unlike Joe, we never get a sense of who she is as a character or what kind of relationship she has with Carol. Indeed, for the most part she’s just there to mediate Carol’s relationship with Joe, making excuses for her husband, downplaying the hurt he’s caused Carol and encouraging Carol not to let his misogyny bother her. Which is a problem in itself.

Carol’s backstory got a light revamp for the modern era in 2008’s Ms Marvel vol. 2 #31.

In this version of events, Joe is less overtly misogynistic. He doesn’t outright refuse to help Carol with college or suggest that she ought to be looking for a husband… but those sexist assumptions are still hanging around beneath the surface and he never truly accepts Carol, unable to reconcile her wants and ambitions with his ideas of what a daughter should be.

“The things I did… and this was before I had super-powers… I saved the world a few times, Dad. Would that make you proud? I don’t think it would. I wasn’t Steven, was I? I wasn’t Joe Junior with his architecture degree. And I wasn’t your perfect little boy in a Red Sox fan [sic]. I was just the little girl you were always uncomfortable with… never knew how to talk to.”

The breaking point in their relationship, and the impetus for Carol to join the Air Force, comes with the death of her (older, in this version) brother Steven, who dies overseas in military service.

Unable to cope with his grief, Joe starts drinking to numb his feelings with alcohol, developing a serious drinking problem (this retcon was a nod to Ms Marvel’s own battle with alcoholism, which had been explored in a number of comics at this point).

And seventeen-year-old Carol looks around her, seeing a father near-catatonic with grief and booze and a mother struggling to keep the family afloat on her single salary, and she concludes that if she wants to go to college and become an astronaut then she’s going to have to rely on her own resources. So the moment she turns eighteen, she joins the Air Force.

And her father explodes.

“Why, after what happened to Steven, why would you even want— are you @#$%ing insane?!”

He’s still consumed by the death of his son, and now his daughter is putting her own life on the line in pursuit of a dream he has never understood or taken seriously. He’s terrified and angry and convinced she’s doing it just to spite him.

And no matter how high she flies, she’ll never measure up to his idealised memories of the child he lost. His approval is always out of reach.

Meanwhile, once again, Marie gets shafted. She’s absent in the flashbacks and a one-dimensional figure in the present day, giving no sense of her personality or her relationship with Carol.

There’s one more version of Carol’s backstory, and it comes -- curiously enough -- from Margaret Stohl’s previous run on Mighty Captain Marvel in 2017.

Joe: Ah, Bean... Since my tour of duty ended, things have been tight. College tuition... [...] I can pay one tuition, Bean. For Stevie. Joe has my hands, he can frame houses with me. Carol: That’s not fair! What about me? What am I supposed to do? Joe: Find yourself a nice boy -- heck, a nice astronaut -- and settle down.

Essentially it’s a modernisation of the original Claremont version. Joe Danvers is a loving father who wants the best for all of his children. But what he sees as best is shaped by his sexist preconceptions — a college degree is more essential for Steve, who he assumes will be supporting a family, than Carol, who’ll be raising one — and a complete failure to understand his daughter and how deep her ambitions run. What she feels in her bones as a calling, he sees as a cute obsession that she’ll outgrow, once she’s settled down with the right man. And that hurts. “It’s a lonely thing,” Carol reflects, “when the people who love you don’t know who you are”.

This is the kind of nuance which Stohl utterly abandons in The Life of Captain Marvel.

So, common to all of these versions of Carol’s background is

a fraught, complex relationship with a hard-headed father who’s never understood her and whose approval is always beyond Carol’s grasp, and

a vaguely domestic mother with no defined personality beyond a desire to keep the peace between Carol and Joe.

By the end of The Life of Captain Marvel, this will be transformed into

an irredeemably toxic and traumatising relationship with a verbally and physically abusive father who blames Carol for gatecrashing his illicit romance with his mysterious sexy space girlfriend, aka Carol’s mother; and

a vaguely domestic mother (from space) with no defined personality beyond a desire to keep the peace between Carol and Joe.

Buckle up, kids. This is going to be a shitshow from start to finish.

[neatsaviors]

(( Hiatus ))

(( This got long and I needed to let it out, sorry for any inconveniences and thanks for sticking with me and my boys here ))

(( Sooooo yeah, shit hit the fan over here. My mother is absolutely furious with me and my brother because we're not doing well at College/School. I mean, I never went really well, I always struggled horribly to try and keep up with the class, schedules, several activities all at once, on top of trying to keep up with house chores, had internship at one point, bus trouble (and problems on the road which made me walk instead of taking a bus since my Mobylette isn't fixed enough for me to ride it to College yet) and personal stuff like this blog, selling commissions and painting t-shirts for commissions too. My brother has a very active social life unlike me, he's always invited to hang out with friends, they buy him tickets for parties and stuff, but as far as I knew he was doing fairly better than me at School anyway. Looks like he's been slipping lately as well. ))

(( The point is, she's got real mad, yelled at us, threatened to make me stop any and all artwork if that's what it's gotta take for me to focus my effort in College. Which is Graphic Design, mind you, so I need to do artworks anyway, but yeah. This includes artworks for this blog (which already has been very slow about it), commissions, t-shirts, anything else I might want to draw (she saw me attempting to draw Spyro last night and I guess she didn't like it because I didn't make it to College yesterday, she must think all I'm doing is drawing and watching cartoons) and even my recent job in the Artistic Team of Dogmons, a 100% Brazilian webcomic, being rebooted from a cancelled series from 2002 which was inspired on Pokémon and Digimon. I already warned my boss that there might be a delay for me to hand in my part in the production of artwork for Dogmons merchandise and the third chapter which I'm responsible for sketching. ))

(( I'm feeling absolutely terrible, the problems on the road making me walk nearly 7Km (approximately 4,5 miles, I guess?) from home to College in the hot sun without any shadow on the way, I'm feeling weak, exhausted, missed all classes this week because refused to walk, but I'm talking with a colleague and we'll meet today so I can do my College works/projects to not be left behind - my mother doesn't care about anything about it anymore. She's only seeing how much of a failure I am, and she's got a point. I entered College in 2012, should be done with this course since the end of 2013 or 2014 at most. But I'm still there, struggling and failing many and many times. I can't take it anymore but she won't let me quit the course. Guess I'll just kiss goodbye to my sanity, well being and my almost useless attempts of keeping myself healthy to some extent. ))

((I don't know what will be of this blog. I'm not abandoning it, neither deleting anything. I want to come back here at some point. You guys made me immensely happy, even the ones who never interacted aside from likes and reblogs. Besides I'll always be online as long as I don't delete Tumblr app from my phone, since this is a sideblog tied to my personal one. And if there's one thing my mother doesn't have power over, it's my phone. Anyway, this blog won't be active for who knows how long... Idk, just... Pray for me and/or wish me luck to not go insane. I did before, ended up in hospital badly sick for neglecting myself for the sake of not sleeping, eating, drinking, taking showers or etc and barely having any virtual/social contact with anyone just to do homeworks. I really didn't want to go through that Hell again but if it's what my dear mother wants, to see her daughter depressed and sick in hospital again, that's what she'll get. Who knows, maybe she will realize her mistakes this time. ))

(( Thank you all so much for making me happy here. The IM Chat is free if anyone ever want to talk, but the blog itself will be inactive. I got Discord if you prefer it, just message me here first. I love you all. ))

Plug out.

[alexbandfan]

Donate Life Hollywood - 2010

Young Guns Music interviews Alex Band

A dream has become true. After so long waiting and wishing for it Young Guns Music has been able to interview Alex Band, former The Calling frontman. We talked about his new album, future plans and fans love. Don´t miss it! Young Guns Music : Alex, thank you very much for accepting to be interviewed by us. It’s been a long time since you decided to start your solo project. So many years working on it and at the same time being unable to set it off... For an artist and mainly for one as you’re, starting in the music world so long ago, it must be quite difficult to get it on with it. How have you kept on fighting all this time? What has helped you to go on?

Alex Band : It has definitely been a crazy struggle to get to where I am at now. Giving up was never an option for me. Yes, there were days when it seemed like I was never going to get to where I needed to be, but I stayed focused and knew I could make it happen eventually. Knowing I was making the album I believed in helped me to not give up.

Is this album exactly what you have dreamt with all this time?

Absolutely! This is the album I fought so hard to be able to make. I poured my heart and soul into each song and I am so proud of the outcome. I was even able to add a few new songs just this year right before the album was released. Which was your first feeling when "Tonight" was officially released? Did you expect so great acceptance among your followers?

I always felt this was the song I wanted to release as my first single and I am really happy I stuck with it. When I first started my promo tour in the US to promote the song I actually heard "Tonight" on the radio that same day and it didn't feel real. I worked so hard and for so long to get to this point that I almost don't believe it's happening. The reaction to the song has been amazing, in Europe it was the theme song for all the World Cup adds!

For an artist it must be incredible to see that your work is not released during years but they are still there waiting for it. How much have fans helped you to get there? What’s the importance of Alex Band’s fans in your life?

My fans are the reason I never stopped making music, no matter how long it took me to release it. They all waited and supported me while I worked on this record and finally released it. I give so much to my fans to show them how much they mean to me. It's really neat now to be out playing shows and see so many fans from the past showing up again! It's a good feeling to say the least to know my fans still care and are excited about my solo album, even after 5 years of waiting.

You seem to have quite a huge fan base in countries such as Japan or Brazil. For an American artist, did you ever expect your music to reach so far?

I can't say that I expected the majority of the success I had and I am beyond grateful for it. To have fans all over the world is a dream come true. My music has reached people in almost every corner of the world and I hope it continues to.

How would you describe your new album? What Alex Band’s fans should expect about what they were used to get from you and what new fans should like about it?

I'd say my album is more anthemic and mature than my albums as The Calling. This album takes you on a journey through my struggles, finding love, and loosing it. It is relatable on every level and really takes listeners into my world.

Love seems to be the main subject in your music. Love moves the world? How important is love in your life?

Love is what life is all about. It isn't always easy, but it is the reason we are living. We can all relate to love and loss and I wanted people to feel that in my music. I truly believe love is the meaning of life.

Which are the songs from this album that represent more Alex Band´s spirit? Which is your favourite one?

I can't pick a specific song that represents me in particular. I wrote all the songs on the album and they all are from personal experiences and feelings. The entire album is my spirit being told through my songs. Right now, my favorite song on the album is one I added last minute called "Will Not Back Down." I think it's a beautiful sexy addition to the album and playing it live is a blast!

Are you anxious to show your album live to the world? Are you planning any world your?

Having lived with this album for the past 5 years, I am more than ready to share it with the world. It's been way too long and I can't wait to keep spreading it everywhere. There are no world tour plans yet, but that is a goal for the future. I think it will all happen in stages.

Will we be able to see you live in Europe and in Spain?

I hope so, that's the plan! I currently have a sold out tour next month in Germany/Switzerland/Austria…and I know I will be going to the rest of Europe and of course Spain as well in the near future.

Which are your more remarkable memories in music? Who would you like to thank for being there all the way up here?

There are so many amazing memories in my career so far. I think one of my favorite still was winning best new artist at the MTV Awards. I was up agains Avril Lavigne and Shakira and many more huge artists…I never thought I would EVER win. But it was voted on by fans, and my fans are crazy supportive! They somehow voted more than anyone else and I won the award! I was sooooo surprised to be called up to the stage and accept it, I had no idea what to say! I think the person I would thank for my career so far over anyone else is my Father. He always supported my music and was behind me 100% through it all from the very beginning when I was taken out of school at 15 and got my first record deal.

All these years you’ve performed some side projects. We were for example able to watch you in CSI. How was the experience? Would you like to repeat in a near future?

CSI NY was a blast to be a part of. I hadn't really done too much acting on that level before and I really enjoyed it. Even did my own stunts;) I would definitely do more acting in the future, once I am back home and working on the next album.

Besides your music there’s a fact about Alex Band that not many people know and we really believe it’s quite remarkable. You started working with Donate Life and then you started your own Alex Band Donate Life. How would you describe the project for those who do not know anything about it?

Donate Life is the main charity I support and believe in, I even have it tattooed on my arm. It is a charity that raises awareness for organ donation which not many people know about or understand. So many lives can be saved through organ donations, it's about giving life to others once we are gone. Honestly, it is as simple as signing up online at donatelife.net to be an organ donor.

How did you get involved in the project? Why do you think in the US it’s so difficult to promote donations? Because in Europe it’s more usual for patients to see it as part of the process while in the US it’s still some kind of taboo.

I got involved when someone very close to me needed a liver transplant and was on a waiting list. I realized from my personal experience with it how much of a demand there is and how many people are waiting to receive organs, some of which never get what they need. I just think there is a major lack of knowledge when it comes to organ donation and people aren't going to support or sign up for something they don't understand...which is what Donate Life is working at changing. The people waiting for organs far outnumbers the amount of actual donors there are in America right now. Something like 90% of Americans say they support donation, but only 30% know the essential steps to take to be a donor. Hopefully, that continues to change.

What kind of activities do you perform along the year to promote donation?

I host my own concert every year called Alex Band's Donate Life Rocks, where all proceeds go to Donate Life. I'm pretty much a walking billboard with the tattoo on my arm and talk about the charity at any possible moment. The bracelet line I just created actually donates a portion of proceeds to Donate Life as well which is really awesome!

You’ve also got involved in Blackstar bracelet, how was the experience of mixing music and fashion? Did you expect so much success?

Designing a line of bracelets to coincide with my music was a lot of fun. It is something that has never been done before and I think the success of them is awesome. I knew that people would love it due to the fact that there is so much content that comes with each bracelet, not just the song download...and that it is a tangible object you can wear everyday.

Taking a look back to the past, you started your music career very young and you got a top hit experience just in the beginning. How do you remember The Calling experience? Was it difficult to digest that your first album becomes a top charter?

It might seem that I had a hit and success very quickly, but it was actually a long process. I was signed at 15 and the record label pretty much forgot about me and wouldn't let me make an album until I was 19. And then it finally came out when I was 20. So there was 5 years there that I worked very very hard writing hundreds of songs and playing many shows in Los Angeles and just waiting and waiting. Once the album finally was released, it took 10 months to make "Wherever You Will Go" a hit at radio in the US. I toured all over the US for those 10 months in a little van and went to every radio station, hundreds of them. It all finally paid off.

What has "Wherever You Will Go" meant in your life?

That song means everything to me. It was the song that introduced me to the world. It's the song still today that every single person knows me by…I can sing the first two lines of the chorus and anybody I meet says "Oh yes of course! I love that song!" The song today still is played millions of times all around the world and has become one of the biggest songs in history. Billlboard magazine named it the number one song at radio in the US for the last decade. This is a huge achievement and I am very proud.

"Wherever You Will Go" has been chosen as one of best songs ever. How was it composed? How did you got inspiration for it?

I wrote that song when I was only 16 years old! I don't remember the moment I wrote it because it was so long ago! I do remember it was very fast to write and complete, maybe only a few hours. Some of the best songs I write come very quick and easily.

Which has been the most incredible memory with a fan? Which has been your favourite moment in a stage?

There have been so many great memories with fans! One time a fan gave me a scroll that was very large, like the size of a big dog. It was one mile long all rolled up! She had worked over one year on it, writing "I love Alex Band" over and over millions of times! Crazy! I still have this scroll in my garage with all my other fan gifts. I keep every fan gift I am given in air tight sealed boxes so they will last forever. My favorite moment on stage was probably playing Party In The Park in London England many years ago. I actually played this festival two years in a row. The audience is over 150,000 people! So amazing! To see that many people sing my songs along with me was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

Would you like to say some words for all your fans who are reading this interview, specially your Spanish fans?

To all my Spanish fans, I miss you very much and I am so excited to come back to Spain and perform for you all and meet you all! It has been WAY too long! Thank you for continuing to support me after all these years…it means so much to me. All the love…

Thank you very much Alex, we wish you the best.

Thank you very much for all the good questions and for your well wishes! I hope to see you soon! All the love...

Source here

[heister]

1 year out...

It’s been an emotional week as I’ve looked back on my first week volunteering with Lighthouse Relief and Cross-Cultural Solutions a year ago. Two years ago I would never have guessed my path would lead me there, and a year ago, at the onset of that journey, I would never have predicted how long I would stay, how deeply I would be impacted, and what the future would hold upon my return. Those close to me know that reintegration this year was easy socially and culturally, but really, really tough professionally and financially, as I’ve been trying to figure out sustainable next steps for my career after this experience, after finishing grad school, after all of this…

The truth is, I’ve always been prone to jealousy, and in this case, I’m jealous of my own self. I’m filled with envy for the person who lived in Greece a year ago, who worked alongside fantastic people every day, who had the privilege of spending the work day around youth that opened her heart in ways she never expected. It’s not even so poetic as all that -- I miss the bar around the corner and all the friends I made there. I miss my routine. I miss my room at John’s Hotel and the staff there who made it feel like a home. I miss my breakfast smoothie. I miss being sick of greek yogurt and spanakopita. I’m mourning the slow waning of my Greek comprehension. I miss Dashti’s falafel stand, fries smothered in tahini and mayonnaise. I miss the joy of a cold coke on a hot camp day, and I miss hanging out with the boys in the cafe in the mornings, sometimes sharing breakfast, sometimes making a friendship bracelet, sometimes struggling to decipher a conversation through the static of a cross-country phone call from a friend recently resettled elsewhere.

I miss the stone place and stories like the time the team jumped off the bridge, got swept away in the current, and got picked up by the security detail on the Saudi Prince’s yacht docked downstream. I miss the shit out of Bogart and all of my friends on staff there. I miss shopping for a Halloween costume in a country that doesn’t celebrate Halloween, and still managing to pull off an awesome costume and party. I miss my cactus, Lenny. I miss the rotating cast of volunteers from CCS and Lighthouse, especially the crew I started with and the folks I ended with. I even miss all the stupid doomed crushes I had there. I miss shopping at Jumbo. I miss singing along to the Smart Market jingle in the CCS van on the way to camp. I miss counting the bends in the road from Chalkida to Ritsona. I miss describing every few weeks to new volunteers how to find the pants store.

I miss making friendship bracelets and teaching youth how to make different designs. I miss each youth I met. I miss the grinning faces and I miss the sad ones too. I miss the chaos of “magela” launch days and the moments when, somewhere between broken Arabic and broken English, and understanding would dawn. I miss playing bilingual jenga. I miss my months-long magnetic poetry project. I miss the entire YES crew. I miss working on our mural outside the distribution center. I miss failing miserably to produce a quality enough phone video to use on the CCS website. I miss all my old CCS friends who passed through Greece while I was there. I miss the dirt on my feet when I wore sandals instead of the close-toed shoes that were technically required. I miss the getting-to-know-you activities at Lighthouse’s weekly meetings. I miss exchanging horrified looks with coworkers that time the clowns were racially insensitive.

I miss the weekly shopping trip. I miss having someone else make my bed and take out my trash every day. I miss going to the beach with my girlfriends. I miss hiking throughout Evia. I miss my numerous thwarted attempts to go canyoning. I miss squeezing into tiny cars to visit each other’s houses. I miss making Christmas cookies together. I miss the drama of the CCS laundry room. I miss Hot Hot Burger and smoothies at Passion and pasta at Lupo. I miss pornstars and penicillins at Negro and that time I really truly thought a barge was going to crash into the bridge. I miss hearing about my friends’ successful dating ventures in Greece and bemoaning my much less successful forays into Greek Tinder. I miss playing Jungle Speed and that one time I grabbed the totem so fast it slipped out of my hand and knocked Zoi in the eye and I thought she’d never talk to me again but she did. I miss how every Greek dude I knew rode a motorcycle and how they were almost all named Giannis.

I miss my going-away party. I miss the drunken cheesey potatoes at the stone place and the wine mushrooms. I miss seafood on the water. I miss being sooooo over frappes but then yearning for one on the days the cafe in camp opened late. I miss cooking with my friends in the Youth Space. I miss watering our collection of plants that slowly diminished one angry or bored child at a time, no matter how spiky they were. I miss hearing Clark loudly singing Ain’t No Mountain High Enough off-key in the Child Friendly Space and in general miss all of the conversation around baby shark doo dooo doo dooo doo doo. I miss the green place and the red place and that time I ate octopus after getting my octopus tattoo without stopping to think about it and how I haven’t eaten octopus since then. I miss getting that tattoo, when Giorgos called for a “mythos” and Melissa and I exchanged horrified classes thinking he was asking for a beer before tattooing me, when really he just meant the generic meaning of “myth.”

I miss learning how to drink ouzo the right way. I miss everything about Chania during my Thanksgiving vacation to Crete. I miss the youth who unexpectedly left while I was on vacation, who I never had the chance to say goodbye to. I miss celebrating birthdays in camp. I miss “I Will Always Love You” karaoke sessions. I miss drawing stencils for spray paint art projects. I miss talking with the quiet ones. I miss watching Moana. I miss wearing the same vest every day with the same cut pieces of string in the pocket plus whatever I may have confiscated the previous day and forgotten to put back, scissors, box cutters, lighters, pens. I miss figure drawing and cartoons and fashion week. I miss the good days and I miss the panic attack and nagging headache days. I miss the warmth of a Greek summer and the chill of its winter. I miss videochatting my best friend from my hotel room.

I miss office days. I miss bottles of wine and ouzo sneaked up to hotel rooms. I miss the garden place. I miss never knowing the names of anywhere and always calling them “the [descriptor] place.” I miss the going away parties for staff and long term volunteers. I miss the really gross rose that ruined all roses for me. I miss the potatoes with parmesan and an egg from hot hot burger. I miss drinking with Tina at the John’s bar before and after going to Bogart. I miss random pullovers for scenic overviews. I miss the camaraderie with my team. I miss really, really trying to make self-care Tuesdays a thing. I miss leading yoga and using essential oils during the cool down. I miss my semi-daily tarot draws and poetry writing ritual. I miss my friends.

There’s no tidy way to stop, at this point, in saying what I miss. I could go on. I miss the life I had, and the lives with which mine intersected and continues to intersect. I want to celebrate, too, that this isn’t all in the past, that even while I can’t go out to eat at the same places I used to, or see the same faces every day, many of these amazing people are still in my life, and I am grateful for those connections and the meaning they bring to my life.

Over the coming days/weeks I would like to share with you some of the incredible projects and good work my friends from this period of my life have been and are doing around the world, particularly in easing the refugee crisis. I continue to strive to be as involved and supportive as possible from afar, and can’t wait to share some of these amazing initiatives and experiences with you. Thank you for your support. It helps ease the difficulty of being away from the people and places I yearn to be among once more. All of the love - M.

[fultas01]

Hellllo Reader,

Hi Mom, I’m still alive! Today we are talking about the long trek towards the end of the school year. I have talked a little bit about what teaching has been like for me. So this blog post is going to talk a little bit about what teaching has been like for me, as well as what I have been up to in Moldova for the last few months, when teaching English has been my main focus.

You may be looking at the title of this blog post and wonder where it comes from. What does a second semester have to do with an 80s movie? Well, sometimes I felt like each of the characters throughout this semester, and I would love for my life to be directed like a John Hughes film. I can say that I felt I like all of these characters, from my stern efforts to make sure students paid attention and that no one used their cellphones in my class, to being perceived as a princess because of where I’m from. I have felt misunderstood like everyone of the characters, and I have had dance parties too. I might expand on these feelings throughout this blog post, so I’ll leave this here and get into the actual post.

After Christmas break (and my travels to Budapest, Prague, and Brasov) I returned to school, ready to begin the send half of the school year. I began this semester a little more wary than I had been at the beginning of the year, but still ready to get knee-deep in changing things, and improving my students’ English. However, with the second semester came a bunch of new commitments. The first of which came at the end of January (maybe a week or so after I school had just begun again), where I had a week long engagement in Chisinau to learn about Project Development. I went on this trip with a partner from my school, and we came back super excited about the projects that we were considering for our school. With this little break it was a little hard for me to be aware of what my students were doing in our classes. I had basically taken off a month, so getting back in the swing of things was harder than expected.

Along with that, I began preparing for different events that would take place for me in February and ended up spend 3 out of 4 weekends in Chisinau. Which, is not my village, in fact it is very far from my village. So, for most of my Fridays and Sundays I spent time on rutieres going between the two places that I spend my time. I thankfully did not have classes on Fridays, giving me the opportunity to check-in with my school to see if I could help with anything before heading to Chisinau to work on these different projects. Along with this time spent working on projects I also worked with my teachers to try and come up with new things to do with the students and keep them interested in English as the year continued. We began trying different media types (bringing in music, and short videos) as well as powerpoints, changing the policy for our tests, and creating different test forms to discourage cheating (did it work? kind of…)

February was a blur to me. I began working on a project with my school to renovate the library (which later changed to creating a kind of student center for students to prepare for lessons in). I also began talking with my English teachers to see if they wanted to do a grant to buy more English language resources. Outside of these projects, I also had work with two of the Volunteer committees that I’m a part of (I am on the Volunteer Information Committee or VIC, and I am working with the GLOW camp and clubs of Moldova). Both committees had activities that they needed to do in this month. Sooooo, I was busy thinking about extra-curricular activities and can’t remember what I taught (or if I taught) the entire month.

One of the things I remember fondly about February from school was the Valentine’s day school festival. Where students prepared dances, skits, poems, and other fun things for us to watch that day after lessons. Then they were able to have a school dance to celebrate the day. I spent that time hanging out with one of my partner teachers and talking about some of the differences between American celebrations and Moldovan celebrations of Valentine’s day and Drago-bete (I misspelled this, because I only ever say dragobete, I never write it).

After the craziness that was February came March. Another busy month during the weekends, as I was working with other people and putting different projects together. However, I was able to focus on teaching more in March. This focus showed me that students really are the same everywhere. My students were ready for the end of winter, and they were ready for another break from school. While some of my younger grades were flourishing (my second graders learned ‘Happy Birthday’ which was adorable), my middle schoolers were dropping like flys. Out sick, skipping class, and if they were in class they weren’t paying a whole lot of attention, this has been the month of March and beyond with my middle schoolers.

Not to say that they are all this way, however, there is definitely a majority of my students who shut down in the second half of the year. And this shut down is what made me feel like the Breakfast club. As I was teaching the younger grades I felt cool and welcomed, but with my middle schoolers I oscillated between acting like the mean principal and the absent parents from that movie. Some days I worked really hard to get their attention either through bribery or through a tough stance, while other days I just said that it wasn’t worth the fight. (Not very teacher-like attitude, but I know many a teacher who just have to wash their hands of a certain day and move on. It happens).

In this second half of the school year also came sickness. Sickness for me, for my host family, and for my school. Many students would be absent at different intervals and the same could be said about many of the teachers who either fell ill themselves or had to stay home with a sick kid. And as you can imagine, dear reader, that this puts stress on a school. And Moldova is not like the US where we can call in a substitute teacher to cover a class. No, when a teacher is sick or missing, other teachers are pulled to cover those classes. And that meant that for me, I ended up teaching alone more often than I would have liked. It was an easy choice to pull one of my partner teachers to teach a different class, while I would continue an English lesson by myself. It would mean that very little would be lost in either class. Unfortunately, many of my students took this to mean a free period for them and I had to fight to get things done. Some classes were better than others, but for the most part, I don’t think I ever got better at teaching these kids alone. I think I have a better understanding of what I would do if I have to teach alone in the next school year, but I still would really prefer not to.

A celebration in March that I attended was. International women’s day. This wasn’t a celebration at the school, since the school was closed for the day. Instead this was a celebration put on at the Casa de Cultura (translates to the House of Culture, these are in almost every village, and in every raion and city). This celebration had dancing, singing, and lots of flowers given to the women that had come. While after a couple hours of sitting in uncomfortable seats and listening to singing and poems in Romanian I was exhausted, it was still a very sweet thing. I had to explain that in the US International Women’s day isn’t really celebrated. So, points to Moldova for making every woman feel important and celebrating an international holiday better than Americans. America, take notes.

April, oh April. We had another break in the month of April, this one was a week long break for Easter, and the week before the break, one of my classes just didn’t show up. We talked to their class master (home-room teacher), but nothing really came of it. And that class’ attendance stayed low to non-existent for the remainder of the school year. While this frustrated me, it became obvious that most of the students did not plan on continuing on studying English, so they thought why bother? As a volunteer, I had no power over this, and just started bring a book or something to occupy my time with during this class. I would sit in the classroom and try to talk with anyone if they did attend class.

Also during April my projects fell through, it was a problem with communication. I hardly ever saw my partner on our projects, and I had very little confidence in my abilities to communicate in Romanian. If I could avoid speaking it for a day, I would. This lack of communication brought along some problems between me and the staff. Leading me to feel more like John Bender from the Breakfast club, arguing with the principal and making things worse by not being cooperative. Oops. Looking back on it, I realize that I needed to speak up and let people know what was going on, but I just didn’t fix it for a long time (and I honestly still am not sure if I have successfully bridged these gaps in communication, though I think I am doing better).

Weirdly, in April there was a late snow storm, which the volunteers dubbed: Snow-pocalypse 2017. This storm came through at the tail end of our Easter break, making traveling in Moldova dangerous. Me and a couple friends flew into Moldova at the end of our vacations to find the city basically at a standstill. The cab drivers from the airport were charging 4 times their normal price, none of the buses were going in the city, power lines where down, and it was generally just a mess. Walking around the city the days following reminded me of what cities and towns look like after a tornado. It was crazy.

After Easter break we came back to school, knowing that we were in the final stretch of school. The kids and teachers could feel the summer holidays coming. And, just as you would imagine, that made teaching a bit harder. Along with the end of the school year came end of the year testing, and the stress to make sure we covered everything in the book. In May this came to a head and I don’t think I taught my regular week schedule the entire month. There would be times when I wouldn’t see a certain class for a week or two because of testing, and once they came back, they were done. They thought that since they wrote their finals that everything else was extra, and it didn’t really matter. And I have to kind of agree with them there. They took their final exam and the last two weeks of school grades were being tabulated, so no new information was coming out. I spent the month doing year round ups and overseeing tests. And neither were particularly fun. I can say that they were rather helpful in pointing out where weaknesses were in each of my grades (an example, we spent a week with my 2nd graders going over the alphabet again because they couldn’t remember how we pronounce it in English. Which means that when I said “c” my students thought I was saying an ‘s’ because that is how ‘s’ is pronounced in Romanian. Or the difference between “e” and “i,” since English “e” sounds like “i” in Romanian).

  Throughout all of this, I also began to teach an English club on Wednesdays at my local library. This was a fun little exercise that quickly gained popularity with my 4th graders, then died again as students stopped coming. It was a weird phenomenon where I started the club with like 5 students, it grew to 20+ students in a small room, then dwindled to less than 10 again, before I had to pause the club because of end of the year preparations.  As some one who had never had an English club it was weird and difficult for me to prepare for these events, so I generally grabbed little things that I thought we could practice and use (like greetings, numbers, colors, etc).

Also on the club side, I began working with another volunteer in the nearby Raion center, I would occasionally come to see him and help with his club at his school (even helping to teach a group of kids how to throw an American football), and we helped at a Romanian school on the other side of town. I think I went to each of these clubs twice during the second semester, but both were good times (though I did get sick at the second meeting at the Romanian school). I worked well with this volunteer and we made some plans to continue working together in the upcoming months. We talked about working with certain students in the community as tutors of English (however we have only been able to meet once). These clubs and students are things that I want to continue either this summer or in the next school year.

The lasts weeks of school saw all the teachers working diligently on compiling grades (which has to be all done by hand here in Moldova, so I have never been so happy and grateful for electronic grade books as I was when I saw my partners working on those). While teachers were working on these I would attempt to talk or review with some of the students. The key word in that last sentence being ‘try.’ I think we were all pretty done with everything by late May.

Outside of school, in March, April, and May, I was preparing for my parents to come and visit. So I was some what distracted along with my students. After lessons, I would begin looking at different things and different places for us to go on vacation and making a plan. I had to talk to my director in Romanian about this trip and make sure that they were okay with me taking the two weeks out of school to travel with them across Europe.

My work with the two other groups began really heating up again in May and April as well. GLOW was fundraising all semester (and we unfortunately did not meet our goals, and we are now doing our best to cut costs to make sure everything still works). GLOW also began really planning out the camp and communication was coming and going fast and furiously. We had a counselor training in mid-June and then camp would be two weeks after that. On the other hand, VIC was preparing for the new group of volunteers to come in. We worked on creating the new website, we thought of ideas of gifts for the new volunteers, and began planning for the Launch Event, which will take place in July. With all of these things going on, this semester seemed both the be a blur and to inch by so slowly I thought I was going to die.

The school year ended with a last bell ceremony on May 31st. The day began with everyone coming to school at the normal 8:30 time, but instead of going to the classroom, I met my partner in the teachers lounge as we waited for everything to be set up. Around 9 am we went outside, ready for everything to begin, but after another 15-20 minutes of waiting my partner and I walked to a nearby store to have coffee and breakfast then return to the school for the festival. Things finally really began around 10 am and took about 90 minutes to two hours to complete. During the ceremony many awards were handed out, and a few poems were shared. The graduating class was recognized as well as some of the amazing teachers that I work with. Then, as the last part of the ceremony, the graduating class walked around the group of students ringing the last bells of the school year (America, it’s a really cool idea and thing to see!). After that, the students were told to go back inside the building so that their Dirigentie (home-room teachers) could talk to them if need be before they go home for the summer. As students were leaving they gave flowers to their teachers. So even though my partner and I don’t have a home-room class we were gifted with flowers at the end of the year to show appreciation of our work (which might have made me tear up, but I’m not saying for sure!).

With the school year over, the teachers had a meeting about the end of year business, which I had to stay at, unfortunately. Do I remember what went on in that meeting? Nope. I was just trying to look like I was paying some attention. We finally left afternoon, and I left school to grab my bag and go to Chisinau to pick my parents up from the airport! But I’ll talk more about that in another blog post.

  Well, I think that covers mostly everything from the end of the school year for me. I know there are stories that I didn’t tell, but I just wanted to talk broadly about what I did this school year. If I think of anything else I’ll add it to another post, and if you want me to talk about anything that I haven’t addressed yet, please let me know!

  Until next time,

Angela ❤

Second Semester: Aka. The Breakfast Club Hellllo Reader, Hi Mom, I'm still alive! Today we are talking about the long trek towards the end of the school year.