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autisticmob · 5 years ago

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HELLO everyone i am now ten days out from my tiddy surgery so i think while everything is still fresh-ish in my mind I should get a rough timeline of how things went for me, just so anyone having similar stuff done in the future can have it as reference??

so under the cut is how shit went down, warning we are gonna be tmi about it for Max Information Dissemination, i will be talking about IV placement, Needles, Bleeding, Bruising, Bathroom Stuff In General, etc. so like. Be Warned.

OKAY SO what did i have done and how did i get it:

- i got a bilateral breast reduction with a “T,” “keyhole,” or “anchor-shaped” incision. this procedure, unlike double-incision top surgery, does not detach your nipples at all, but it DOES leave a decent hunk of breast tissue behind to avoid the nip graft. this connecting tissue keeps your nip attached and supplied with enough blood to survive. that means with this one, theres basically a limit to how much they can take off, and it depends on how big you are to start off with.

- i went with the T-incisions because as a NB person, I wanted to sidestep the “gender-confirming surgery” route with my insurance. technically, I believe it would have been covered if i had gone through the process of talking to a therapist and getting a note that the surgery WOULD help confirm my gender, but i suspect it would have taken much longer, and I was afraid that my doctor and community resources would not have ended up approving me FOR the surgery since I don’t exactly fit the typical trans narrative. and luckily for me i had Massive, Spine-Bending G Cup Tiddies to contend with. so every doc that took a look at me said “yeah, you need those taken care of for medical reasons.” so i thought hey, let’s see how far this will get me!

- i talked to my primary care doc about my back pain and mentioned i’d like to look into a breast reduction, and she referred me to a local surgeon who could do the procedure. at the time i was still entertaining the idea of double-incision, but as it turned out, this surgeon just didnt do that. but i knew for certain my insurance would cover him, his results were good, and he was local, so i said yes to the T-incisions, which he said would likely get me down from a G to at least a C. it wasnt my ideal scenario admittedly, but frankly the back pain was getting to be too much, and i needed it to be addressed sooner rather than later.

- i had a consultation with the surgeon in early december, and they took pictures and measurements to send to my insurance so they could confirm the tits WERE in fact Too Bomb To Live. Doc said that it varies between insurance companies, but most will have a minimum amount of tissue that needs to be taken off, in grams, from each breast. he was like, “your insurance needs at least 1000g total removed, which’ll leave you on the small side, is that cool?” and i was like “My Man, take AS MUCH as you possibly can, im sick of these” and he was like “cool, makes my job easy then.”

- it took my insurance like 1.5 to 2 months to get back to me, but late january the surgery place called me and we set a date for february 5th, 2020!!

PRE-OP:

- before i went into surgery, the hospital made me go over my medical history with them over the phone, informed me of all the risks, and gave me a special scrub kit to shower with at home for the last 2 days before the surgery

- fun fact this soap will make your whole bathroom and body smell strongly and exactly like a hospital and it is gross as hell if you hate hospital smell

- i also had to go to my primary care doc to get the OK that i was healthy enough to go under general anesthesia, and also get some blood tests and a urinalysis done. i fucked up the urinalysis tho (which is a whole other story) so i had to redo that the morning of the surgery when i got to the hospital anyway.

- when i scheduled my surgery they also gave me a list of things i had to NOT DO before i went in. this included stuff like avoiding herbal medications and non-prescription supplements and not drinking any alcohol for like 2 weeks prior to surgery, and not eating anything after midnight the night before surgery.

- then it was SURGERY DAY!!!

- i went in with uhhh a LOT of anxiety about what everything would entail, ngl. i knew i had to do it because staring down the barrel of life with tiddies forever was way scarier than surgery, but yknow whenever you go under general anesthesia they legally do have to let you know that you could die and thats just a lot to consider, PLUS the whole thing involves just, really mangling your torso so like. its a lot! its okay to be scared!

- both my parents went with me for moral support which i appreciated a lot, but i didnt actually see them much since they had to spend a lot of it in the waiting room.

- when i went back with the doc they had me Wash The Tiddy Off with some antiseptic and change into a gown. i got some grippy socks out of the deal which is probably not a universal experience, but this hospital did it so shoutout to them for the socks i guess

- then they asked me all my medical history stuff again and checked me for any like, rashes or open sores or anything. i had some Tit Zits but they did not seem to be worried about that.

- then the surgeon came in and drew lines on me for the incisions. bro when i saw how high up my nips were gonna be i was losing my damn mind. this is one of the really exciting parts, because you finally get to really visualize what your end size is gonna be!!

- once he was satisfied with how everything looked, they started really Prepping Me For Surgery.

- they hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff, a heart monitor, and some compression leg thingies that would inflate and deflate intermittently around my calves to help me not get blood clots. this felt weird but tbh also like kind of a nice massage

- then the iv placement. bro im not lying when i tell you this is the worst part. the nurse numbed me with some lidocaine before placing the needle and let me tell you that shit HURTED. lidocaine Stings and Burns when it hits and this was arguably the most painful part. but the good news about that is it means nothing else after that is all that bad. and i got THREE lidocaine shots because these two nurses could NOT find my blood anywhere. they finally called in their ringer (an EMT named kirk, s/o to kirk) who got that sucker in my arm with NO numbing and NO pain in like, 2 fucking seconds. i pray you all have a kirk. kirk knows where your fucking blood is and hes not gonna fuck around getting to it because he JUST wrestled a drunk dude into an ambulance like an hour ago and compared to that this is nothing. kirk had sleeveless scrubs. im obsessed. anyway.

- then they put a plastic, inflatable, heated blanket over me? it was between two regular blankets so it wasnt as uncomfortable as you might imagine, but it was strange. warm tho so that was nice.

- THEN they wheeled my bed down to surgery. i was having so much anxiety at this point it was like... dreamlike. getting wheeled into the OR was just surreal. i was like, no thoughts head empty, just taking everything in.

- once i got there the surgical team was very cool about keeping me calm tho. they were playing their like, pump-up music and one of the guys was like “hey fyi about halfway thru the surgery we will be turning the lights off and having a rave, just in the interest of full disclosure. promise not to leave any glowsticks in there tho” and i was like what no i would LOVE glowstick tiddies

- i had to kinda roll from my bed onto the operating table, which was significantly harder and smaller. that kinda made things feel real, so i got a little more anxious at that point.

- to help me calm down they had me breathe in some straightup oxygen thru a mask while they hooked my iv to the fluids and such, and the guy was like “WHOA you got some lungs on you dude” and i was like yeah thanks im recovering from hyperventilating

- then they let the anesthesia into the iv, letting me know the whole time what was happening, talking to me until i was just OUT, which was not a lot of conversation time because i was out in like 5 seconds or less. they didnt make me count down or anything, but i promise you it was nigh instantaneous.

POST OP

- it really was instantaneous. i know everyone says that but it really is the truth, it feels like the whole thing takes seconds. like one moment youre laying there in the OR feeling the drugs Hit, and the next youre waking up in the little wake-up room feelin kinda groggy with a nurse talking to you, and youre still druggy so youre just rambling to her about how fucked your voice sounds right now and as soon as shes contented that youre basically lucid they start wheeling you to your room where youll ACTUALLY stay while you recover.

- THE THING I WAS THE LEAST PREPARED FOR WAS MY THROAT

- your throat will Hurt afterwards, but even more than that, you will be producing So Much Mucus. my surgery took about 2 hours and during that time, all my muscles were paralyzed by the anesthesia, including my lungs, so i was on a breathing tube. my throat, understandably, hated this, and started producing Gallons Of Fucking Mucus to protect itself. it then continued to do this for the next two days or so. the nurses were encouraging me to breathe deep and cough Hard to combat this, and avoid getting pneumonia, so i did. but THAT hurt the tiddies. it was really a vicious cycle. but its necessary because god if i had to have pneumonia on top of all the other recovery shit?? god. 0/10 wouldnt recommend. so it might hurt but dont worry your tiddies wont bust open or anything.

- i spent basically the rest of the day still hooked up to all the machines i listed earlier, PLUS a thing that would beep at me if my heart rate went too high, which it did a lot because i have anxiety, but luckily the nurses didnt seem too concerned. it really kept my breathing on track though because if i didnt breathe deep enough my heart would shoot up super fast and it’d beep and god that was just annoying and im pretty sure that was The Point. you kinda have to get used to breathing again, and the beeping trained me.

- they gave me like a bunch of crackers and a huge mug of water to work on at my leisure. i actually had lunch pretty quick after waking up? i know a lot of people have nausea issues from anesthesia but i didnt experience any of that. i DID move like a fucking sloth while i was eating tho. the pain meds and general grogginess of recovery slowed my whole body down sooooo much. my mom was actually like “are you okay??? like neurologically??????” and i was, totally, i was just. on slo-mo.

- anyway i didnt have to get catheterized for this procedure thankfully but they DID make me measure my pee every time i went to the bathroom. like i had to pee in a little bucket attached to the toilet and the nurse had to come check it every time and i felt really weird about that. so idk just be prepared for that i guess lmao

- also idk if it was the pain meds or the anesthesia itself but post-op, i couldnt shit for like a week. the constipation is real so get u some fucking laxatives asap when you get home, this is not a joke lmao

- they also had me put on a belt every time i got up so the nurse could hold onto me in case i decided to fucking biff it. they got me up a couple times throughout the day/night to walk up and down the hallway outside and get my body used to being upright again

- oh speaking of i never got to lie down completely flat, they had my bed locked at like a 30 degree angle minimum to help with... something. im not quite sure what, but im not gonna question it

- when i got up the next morning they had a couple nurses come in and help me un-bandage so i could shower and finally look at what the tiddies looked like for the first time!! and it was exciting but i didnt cry like i expected lmao i think i was too drained and too distracted by the bleeding

- the bleeding wasnt too bad actually, just little beads kinda coming out of parts of the incisions between the stitches. but once i got in the shower obviously stuff started getting diluted in the water and it looked like a lot more than there actually was, so dont be alarmed by that!

- SHOWERING: its a little complicated. youre not supposed to soak the incisions, and youre not supposed to apply direct water pressure or actually touch them at this point. so what i had to do was get a washcloth wet and soapy (with antibacterial soap, i think it was hand soap honestly. hand soap’s what ive been using at home so........) and then just kinda. squeeze it at your collarbone and let it drip down over everything kinda minimally. its kind of a process but it works fine. washing your hair and like, tbh literally everything else is gonna be hard. reaching over your head is hard and scary at this point. i will admit my hair care Suffered the first week.

- then i got bandaged back up and they got me back into my own clothes and ready to go home! they also put a bra on me over the bandages in my new size. i was only there for about 24 hours total, since i didnt really have any complications.

- on the ride home i had to make sure the cross-chest part of the seat belt was NOT touching me. if whoevers driving you hits a pothole, your soul WILL exit your body tits-first for a moment. im sorry if you live somewhere like here in nebraska where the roads are garbage but its not gonna be fun.

ONCE YOU’RE HOME!!

- i live at home with my mom and sister and if you live alone, id try to have a friend basically move in for the first week. you will need Help with things. basic things. you’ll mostly want to sleep because of the pain meds but those made me pretty dizzy so it was cool having my mom around in case i like. fell on the way to the bathroom and died or anything like that.

- changing bandages is really kind of a 2-person affair too, and youll have to do it at least once a day post-shower, so keep that in mind.

- the bleeding is like, not that bad after that first day honestly. i never had to change the bandages more than just the once per day.

- basically from here the procedure is just to take it easy, get up every few hours and walk around a little to keep the blood clots at bay, and enjoy yr new silhouette basically

- worst thing about recovery honestly? im a stomach/side sleeper, and i cant manage anything other than laying flat on my back with my arms at my sides right now, and thats just like.... idk i really cant sleep like that. its not comfy. ive had to set up kind of a pillow fort around me to keep me from rolling over in my sleep bc im afraid i might hurt myself accidentally like that, but idk how well-founded that fear is.

- i will say as someone who did have back problems before this, the difference is IMMEDIATE. i literally had better posture like Day 1. im still a little hunched over because the stitches create a bit of tension in your chest, but like literally it was instantaneous. god. once i got healed to a point that i could like, kinda relax and not be so fucking tense all the time? back pain has basically just been GONE.

- other fun things to notice: i had some pretty significant stretch marks before, and now they are running in a completely different direction. i crossed my arms over my chest the other day and they actually touched my torso for the first time in like, well over a decade. if i close my eyes and try to grab my tiddy from muscle memory, i stop like a full 3 inches from where my tit actually starts now. the size i am now, just like, freeballing it? this is how i looked when i wore a binder before. if i wore a binder now i imagine id be completely flat, and honestly if i layer up at this point you cant really tell that i have anything more than the average chubby dude’s moobs, which as a kinda chubby person is totally fine.

its a trip relearning what i look like and what im supposed to feel like but its just. such a fucking improvement over where i was. absolutely no regrets, regardless of how hard recovery has felt at times. anyway i hope this information is at least interesting and maybe helpful to anybody considering anything similar!!

#words #top surgery #breast reduction #info post #again yall lemme know if you have questions abt anything i didnt cover here i tried to hit all my bases but u never know #teat yeet

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jj-ktae · 6 years ago

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Erotica - Part 4 - (M)

Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader Genre: SMUT Summary: You’re a rookie porn actress on the rise and everything goes well until you get offered a role in a big-budget porn movie, starring the most famous actor in the porn industry. Words: 4758 Warning: Read at your own risk Lots of love for @demongyeom who beta-ed this for me because i’m a mess <3

- Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Epilogue -

- Part 4 -

“Just this time, please. Save us.” Your manager tries everything. Apparently, he just received a call about one of the actress being sick and cancelling on a short scene. No one is available, half of them being busy and having no time to film today. “It’s not going to take long, it’s a quickie but we need it for the website, we’ve been teasing this for so long.”

You sigh, eyes scanning through the new lines of the scene the director wants you to film again. They called you yesterday, claiming that you need to redo a couple of talk scenes with Jaebum.

This movie is never going to end.

“But I’m stuck here, we don’t even know when we’ll be done!” Maybe it’s going to discourage him. Maybe he will give up and ask someone else because you really don’t want to run around for one thirty minutes scene when you were initially supposed to rest today.

“I called the director, he said they can come. The studio is okay with lending us a space to film. You only need to agree and I promise I’ll pay you back for that. If we don’t help we’ll be in trouble, you know how the boss works.” He speaks fast, already grabbing his phone because now you’re doomed, you can’t reject the idea for you have no other arguments.

“Fine.” You’re already exhausted. Today was an off day. How come you ended with re-filming scenes plus doing a quickie?

“Great, thanks, I swear I owe you big time, Y/N.” he flies away, smile carnivorous and you know he is going to get big money for what he just did.

A head pops from behind the door, apologetic. “Miss Y/N, we’ll start soon.”

You nod their way, walking away and grabbing the new script you have yet to memorize before you start.

It’s only a couple of scenes. The director said he wasn’t satisfied with the way it was filmed and grabbed the opportunity to change the script. You received a call yesterday night which made you cancel your initial plan to visit your mother.

You don’t see Im Jaebum. Actually, you didn’t even catch a glimpse of his lazy figure ever since you arrived. He usually sits in a corner, concentrated yet idle, with headphones and sometimes carrying a book. Today he is nowhere to be found and you let a sigh of relief at the thought.

When you started filming this movie, your wrath toward Im Jaebum was stronger than the plague. His behaviour and cockiness made you think of him as nothing but an arrogant guy with a thick dick and no compassion for anyone that isn’t him.

He acted like you were going to ruin his career, like you were a greedy girl rebelling against a wealthy family and taking the job lightly.

With time he became less hostile, even friendly as he often sat back to chit-chat with you. He shared a bit of his real personality, which you found to be rather opposite to what he had shown so far. He wasn’t that much into sex as you thought he would, his main topics revolving around music and walks around town.

Im Jaebum revealed to be warmer with time. He wasn’t keen on being officially sweet, his smiles more teasing than cute in your opinion.

Yet he felt comfortable as time passed.

The sex scenes were less of a showdown and softer. Jaebum allowed himself to let his guards down, movements now composed and understanding. It helped greatly, turning the crazy adventure into something less annoying and as much as you would like to be satisfied with his new self, something feels off.

Something feels off because you’re starting to enjoy this. You never truly enjoyed a sex scene. You had your fun moments with co-actors who actually made you feel more at ease with the task at hand, but never to the point of enjoying the ministrations.

Maybe it’s because he is a professional. Im Jaebum is very famous in the porn industry even though he barely appears in sex related media. Maybe it’s why he is famous. He must be one hell of a good actor if he can make you believe that he cares.

This is why you refuse to speak to him more than necessary. Your last sex scene in the shower turned out to be very productive, tearing a very strong and realistic orgasm from a very intimate Jaebum; and pulling your barriers down.

So naturally, you decide to stay away from any trouble. Im Jaebum is nothing but talented at what he does which has nothing to do with you, hence, you shouldn’t even think about how he might be genuinely affectionate.

But you know nothing about the real Im Jaebum.

He is thankful that you stopped acting like you hate him. He admits he went too far and jumped to conclusions, but he can’t be blamed, in all honesty. He has seen so many young actress trying to become popular and acting dirty just for the sake of fame. He had to deal with clingy girls trying to get into his pants outside of work, running after him and thinking he spends his time pounding into whatever breathes.

So, thinking about how your relationship started, he doesn’t understand how his behaviour changed. He is used to being distant; he knows what people think of porn actors and doesn’t mind staying on his own – or with the only two people he can call friends. He blames it on the situation and the movie itself. He blames everything on how stupid and mushy he has to be for the sex scenes.

He ignores how enjoyable and soft you feel under his hands.

Jaebum knows it can happen. It’s the perks of making love for a living. He’s touched and kissed many people in his short life so obviously, he may feel attracted occasionally. It’s perfectly fine and natural, if he refers to his non-existent love life. He shouldn’t worry, even when he catches himself thinking about how you’d feel in a more intimate mind-set, or how strong his orgasm had been back then in the shower.

Yet, he doesn’t appreciate how it never happened before.

When he receives a call from his manager asking him to come and film a couple of scenes again, he doesn’t nag him. He usually complains, not caring about how ‘unprofessional the staff is’. Today he comes with no resentment towards the staff, hiding his evident eyes scanning the area, only to find it empty of your presence.

“We’ll start in ten.” The staff runs around, unpleased with the probability of having to pay for another day of filming in the studio. Everything is rushed, from how he gets pulled to the hairstylist, to how discreetly his makeup is done.

He catches you walking away from the restrooms, hands flattening the hems of your dress and eyes busy scanning for any imperfection on the thin clothing. You seem distracted, hurried even, like something is on your mind.

“We’ll start with the kitchen scene, please head to the studio.” One of the staff pulls him out of his thoughts, making him turn around and aim at the busy room.

He thinks everything will be alright when you step into the room, sitting on the kitchen table while he starts preparing food, just like the script wants him to. He turns around while the cameraman gets ready, along with the gaffer who doesn’t seem to be satisfied with the bright lightening. He tilts his head, catching your attention and you can only greet him, timidly.

How uncommon.

Jaebum knows something is off. You usually either ignore him totally or talk to him like he is your friend. You never act like there’s something you shouldn’t be doing, or like talking to him is something that makes you uneasy to the point of turning silent.

“Starting in two.” The director adds, making you both nod in his direction.

It’s going to be a long day.

It is a long day indeed. Jaebum has to deal with you ignoring him and he is torn between bluntly ask you or ignore the uneasiness. He decides not to push it. He isn’t the type of person who can be petty to the point of asking for justifications to a person he isn’t sure he is close to.

You find it hard to stare into space between each scene. So far you both were at least familiar enough to talk about your lives, so obviously, he would find it weird that you ignored him all of a sudden.

You almost regret it when you hear him sigh, forgetting about your previous will to get away from the illusion of a caring person. Maybe you’re overreacting. Maybe Im Jaebum really cares and is filming those sex scenes genuinely.

Maybe he likes making love to you.

That is stupid.

And even if he does, what’s the matter? It’s normal to be caring between co-workers. It’s even good to have a correct relationship at work.

So why is it that you’d rather escape from him?

You know the answer but you don’t even dare thinking about it. Im Jaebum is nothing but a very professional human-being.

“There you are!” You manager claps loudly, interrupting your train of thoughts as numerous people enter the studio. It’s been an hour since you finished re-filming the scene for Erotica and you were still waiting for them to arrive.

The director rushes inside, shaking hands with your manager before waving at you. “Is the studio ready? We are late, let’s hurry.” You know him, he is one of the youngest director working with your company. At least he is easy to work with so you won’t have to spread your legs for too long.

“Where is he?” Your manager asks, peeking behind to crew to look for the actor you’re supposed to work with. You didn’t even ask, the information not important enough for you to be enthusiastic anyways.

“Jackson should come any minute.” The director runs toward the people preparing the equipment and you follow, ready to listen to whatever they would want you to do. As if on cue, your manager arrives behind you, rubbing his hands excitedly. “It’s a quickie, doggy style, a little bit of hair pulling and that’s pretty much it.”

You nod, kind of relieved that it’s Jackson who is going to come and not another cocky actor from your company. There’s only a few you get along with, most of them are too self-centred to even act like you’re worth their time and it irritates you every time you have to film with them. They’re not unfriendly though, just very conscientious.

Jackson is different. He has a bubbly personality built to become friends with anyone who smiles at him at least once. He doesn’t mind filming at ungodly hours and respects all the decisions without complaining. He is a hard-working guy yet always makes the situation less dramatic.

Jackson is the only actor who has the ability to make you laugh in the middle of a sex scene and you enjoy how casual he is without being too laid back.

It’s natural when he throws an arm over your shoulders as soon as he enters the studio. He seems exhausted like he filmed non-stop for the past month – which he certainly did – but doesn’t act like he is annoyed to be here.

He smiles warmly, licking his lips and taking his cap off. “I didn’t know you were the one who agreed on taking Vera’s part. She came this morning and started throwing up all over the place,” he shivers, making a face. “Horrible. I heard you’re filming this movie everyone is talking about, how is it going? “

You shrug, mouth falling downwards in hope to keep the most neutral face. “Different? I don’t know, it’s my first time acting in a full movie with a storyline and actual dialogue.”

Jackson hums, parting from you so he can take his jacket off. “I like it when I feel more of an actor than a walking dick.” He raises a hand to get your manager’s attention. “I’ll go wash up real quick.” One wink and a boyish smile later, he is gone.

Jackson does a lot of ‘amateur like’ scenes. They’re mostly short and focus on sex only, but he also did movies with storylines and dialogues that had nothing to do with moans only. Despite his growing notoriety, he is still the same guy. You like how nothing feels creepy and dirty with him.

You aim for the bed, undressing slowly. Your underwear are the only barriers to your intimacy, making you shiver and wrap yourself into the deep red sheets. The staff is still busy with the lightning and camera placement while you wait for your co-actor to get out of the staff room, clean and perfumed.

Jackson always feels the same. After all those scenes you filmed with him, he always wore the same perfume and used the same body lotion. He wears strong notes of musk, with a sugary and fruity body lotion.

You made fun of him when he told you he was addicted to Victoria’s Secret’s products.

He comes back whistling. You’re lying down, body covered and head against the pillow. The staff is finally ready so Jackson jumps on the bed, covering himself too.

“You start with oral, then doggie style next to the bed. We need you to be quick, thirty minutes maximum. It’s a free video for our premium members so don’t overdo it.” You both nod at the director, Jackson already approaching you and wrapping an arm around your waist.

It’s a common sex encounter. Jackson groans yet massages your flesh with care. You purr against his neck when he starts touching you, earning an amused chuckle from the aroused boy.

It gets more intense when your lips wrap around his swollen tip. He grabs the sheet and bites his lip, watching you play with his penis hungrily.

You add more dramatic moans when he starts licking you. He is on the floor while your upper body is on the bed and he dives right in, groaning and parting your legs so wide you almost yelp at the sudden stretch.

He smirks against your folds and you want to smack him. It feels good to film without tension or uneasiness. Bless him for being somewhat normal even though he also has sex for a living.

The doggie style scene arrives quickly. Jackson jerks himself and rubs his dick playfully against your folds while you position yourself against the foot of the bed. The staff is quiet, busy even, as they start talking about when the video will be up.

You whimper when he fills you up to the hilt, head rising in an exaggerated blissed expression but you freeze when you open your eyes.

Jaebum was supposed to go. He didn’t even need to shower and changed himself fast, rushing to get the hell out of here and rest before meeting with his friend for a drink later that day.

He didn’t mean to peek but when he heard you had to film an unexpected scene, he put his bag down and stayed. It’s weird, he was never the type to be into voyeurism but something tickled his curiosity.

So eventually he sticks around, hidden behind the huge camera, looking like the biggest pervert in town. He watches intently, from the moment you start sucking your co-actor to that climax point when he starts pounding into you at full force.

And against better judgement, he scoffs. It looks rushed, tacky and everything he hates. He rolls his eyes at Jackson when the latter grunts and rotates his hips against your face, shakes his head when he spreads your legs and observes your unnatural face when you start moaning way too loudly.

It’s not natural. It’s not how you usually react, it’s definitely not your honest, flustered face when you close your eyes and lick your lips in false lust.

He doesn’t like it but somehow takes pride in the situation. He has been doing this for a long time now and he recognises a good actor when he sees one. Jaebum’s seen and felt too many fake orgasms to see you’re only wet because you must be. It’s pleasant in a way, because he remembers clearly how much you contracted around him, how you grabbed his arm for support, how you licked your lips to muffle the needy moans.

There’s no connection.

He ends up feeling torn. One part of him wants to laugh at how ridiculous that scene looks yet another part wants to grab your co-actor by the collar and drag him out so he can show everyone how you really act when you’re turned on.

It looks different though, when you look and find him staring. You’re bent over the bed, sweaty and panting yet you don’t seem to be into it. Jaebum knows he shouldn’t be here, but he finds it hard to ignore how disturbed it makes you look. You almost fall when you receive a particularly hard thrust and look away, head low.

“You must find this boring, right?” Your manager walks next to him and talks politely, like he wants to apologize for showing such as shameless and cheap scene.

Jaebum shakes his head, a smirk growing on his not so peaceful face. “It’s instructive.” It’s not. He doesn’t find anything interesting about a muscle-boy pounding into a girl who seems as dry as the desert.

When the scene ends, you fall on the bed, thoroughly ignoring Im Jaebum, who you hope is now gone. Jackson stretches and yawns, slapping your butt. “Get up, lazy girl.” He laughs at you and you smile back, grabbing his hand so you can stand up.

Jackson has no boundaries, for he already throws an arm around your shoulder, bowing at the staff and thanking everyone. “Let’s get a drink. It’s been ages.”

You make a face, shaking your head. “I’m exhausted and tomorrow is my last scene.” You peek around and Im Jaebum is nowhere to be seen, so you relax, muscles now soft and yet conscious of your surroundings.

“I didn’t say we would go to a nightclub. My schedule is packed for tomorrow, let’s- Oh, JB! The famous daddy.” Your eyes fly from Jackson to peek at an unamused Im Jaebum, arms crossed over his chest and smile tight. “I didn’t know you were still around!”

Jackson is dense, Jaebum thinks. He tilts his head and looks down at your bare body, the one you always hide from him whenever you’re done filming. How is it that you have no trouble walking around a naked and noisy guy when you dash out of his sight every single time?

Jaebum keeps his reproaches for himself, nodding at a smiley Jackson who doesn’t seem to mind showing his now floppy and dirty dick for everyone to see. “We met already, I believe.”

Jackson thinks for a minute, before clicking his fingers. “We did? Great! I was about to take Y/N for a drink right in front of the studio, why don’t you tag along?”

You part from him, shaking your head. “I told you I’m busy tomorrow. He is too, Jackson. Maybe some other time?”

Jackson looks disappointed from the way his arms go limp by his sides. “I can’t believe you-”

“Fine, let’s go.” Jaebum cuts him, eyebrows raised and watching you for any type of reaction. “The director said we only have filming in the afternoon, it’s our last scene, after all.”

You open your mouth, bewildered. What the hell is he thinking about?

Jackson claps his hands, proud. “So! It’s settled. Let’s take a shower and get out of here.”

You don’t know how you end up in a bar with two porn actors and a financial consultant. Jaebum was apparently supposed to meet his a friend and asked if it was okay for him to tag along, as to which Jackson agreed, of course.

He is also currently making the poor boy – whose name is Jinyoung - laugh with lame jokes and weird facial expressions. Jaebum is quiet, watching the place and sipping his drink. You try to make yourself look busy, but it’s hard considering you don’t want to be here.

“Of course not, we do get into stable relationships!” Jackson laughs, “Right, Jaebum?” He started calling him by his name as soon as he felt comfortable, which means ten minutes after meeting him in the studio. “People think we only care about sex.”

Jinyoung scoffs, “Of course you don’t, Jaebum himself has a mediocre love life. Is it true that sex becomes a chore once you become a porn star?” he looks at Jaebum and shakes his head. “Everyone thinks he is a Don Juan with too much stamina but he lives like a grandpa.”

Jaebum doesn’t have the time to answer as Jackson is already laughing loudly.

“It’s true, I guess? We don’t have sex the same way we do for the cameras. I mean, personally, it became that way for me. I’m so lazy when it comes to real sex.” Jackson nudges you, pulling you out of your thoughts. “How about you?”

You observe the three, your glass still clutched between your fingers. Jaebum seems also interested, because he stopped looking at the wall to stare at you.

You try to play it cool. “I guess it’s true. I wouldn’t know, it’s been a long time since I had personal sexual intercourse.” You don’t know why should share that information with two people you barely know and a guy you fuck with professionally.

Jackson gasps. “See? Most of the people I know who are in the sex industry aren’t thinking about sex non-stop.”

Jaebum hums, playing with his now empty glass. “Some people do think of us as creepy and perverted though.” You almost choke, hoping no one would notice how he was referring to you.

Jackson agrees instantly. “It’s hard to find someone who would accept our situation. What do you think about your friend’s job, Jinyoungie?”

You sigh when you hear the pet name. Jackson is so shameless.

Jinyoung doesn’t seem to mind. He thinks for a minute, before putting his glass down. “I’ve been friends with him for a long time so it’s not like I don’t know who he really is, but I admit I would have been freaked out if I met him under any other circumstances.”

“Right?” Jackson muses, amused with the situation. He turns to an upset Jaebum, “Still, you film some nasty shit.” He laughs after his witty remark, facing a now uneasy boy who is close to punching him in the face.

“It pays well.” Jaebum mutters, avoiding your stare that he knows must be judgemental, now. “It’s not like I’m into this.”

You chuckle at his sulky face. He doesn’t look like the cocky guy who made fun of you the first time you met.

The evening ends fast thanks to Jackson who can make the conversation for everyone. You laugh from time to time, teasing Jackson when a woman in her late fifties offers him a drink and he gladly accepts it, winking at the lady.

Jackson runs around once you’re all out of the bar and sings with an amused Jinyoung who looks like he has been friends with him for forever.

Jaebum stays behind, shocked to see how easily the pair became friends. He turns to you after a while, “Do you want me to drive you back?”

You stop, frozen. Maybe it’s a bad idea. You’ve had a couple of drinks and you don’t remember him drinking to the point of being drunk. It isn’t like him to ask when you could get a cab and head home.

“I mean, I took my car to come to the studio today.” He adds, pulling his key from his back pocket. “It’s easier than finding a cab.” He acts like he is detached and is asking purely out of convenience for you. “Unless you still think I’m a creep who will jump you.” He tries humour because it’s incredibly embarrassing and he has to find a way to get out of this if you ever reject his proposition.

Before your brain works, your mouth opens, rapid. “Okay.”

Jaebum smiles, surprised, and turns around to yell at the duet. “Want me to drive you back home, too?”

Jackson stops dancing, shaking his head at you too. “CAB! THANKS!” He pulls on Jinyoung’s hand to make him waltz, the latter barely able to answer as he is basically being pushed around everywhere. He notices the situation though and smirks at Jaebum, before shaking his head too.

“I’ll just find him a cab and head back.” He laughs when Jackson almost trips, forgetting about whatever was happening and Jaebum is glad he doesn’t have to deal with these two.

He presses on a button and a car makes a sound among all the parked engines by the street. It’s a nice yet simple car, in which you enter swiftly. Jaebum steps in a second later, spending no time in turning it on and you give him your address.

The ride is silent, the only sound coming from the soft music enough to make the situation less awkward. Jaebum is focused on the road, taking turns and listening whenever you give him directions. He discovers you live quite far from the studio but doesn’t comment on it, unsure of what your reaction would be.

You focus on the outside world, peaceful and lit with endless lights. You don’t expect him to become a chatterbox, but it’s true you didn’t think he could be so chill and silent. He does seem like the petty type, the guy with too much confidence and gusto, but he has none of it. He lives simply and has a cool friend, a guy who has nothing to do with the porn industry.

He also seems a lot softer than the first time you met. Maybe it’s because you know more about him and finally started to see him as something more than a jerk who fucks numerous persons per day.

It’s funny that he is the exact opposite of what he seems to be at first. It’s also crazy that he seems to avoid any sort of relationship and claims he isn’t that much into sex. You can understand though. Having sex became too much like working — and now that you spend your time faking orgasms, there’s not that much flavour left in it.

“What you usually do is different from what you filmed today.”

Jaebum’s remark makes you look away from the streets to glance at him. He barely peeks at your face and smirks “From what you told me, I thought you were more into soft porn than quickies.”

You smile. “What makes you think that?”

Jaebum peeks again, stopping at a red light and finally giving you his full attention. “It looked like you were forcing yourself. You don’t seem to fake it with me.”

Of all the embarrassing things that he could have said, this is the worst one. You stutter, the hint of an answer stuck to your throat.

“That’s why I thought you were more comfortable with soft porn.” He tries. Maybe he went too far.

You wait for a good minute before you open your mouth. “It’s funny coming from someone who hates soft porn yet seems to enjoy slow and delicate sex.”

He chokes on air, turning around another corner. “I hate filming delicate sex.”

“Then you’re a very good actor.” You add, making him smirk. “I live here.”

Jaebum leans to look at the building before stopping the engine. He then presses on the central locking button so you can open the door.

You grab your bag, glad you can finally run away from the sticky situation. You get out of the car and lean to thank him but he makes you freeze with his next words.

“I wasn’t acting.”

You blink, not getting if you’re imagining things or if Im Jaebum just admitted he made love to you for real. He notices the way your body stiffens and when you don’t move, he decides to end your misery.

“See you tomorrow, rookie.”

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studiobeebo · 7 years ago

Text

Midterm Blues (College! Izuku Midoriya x Reader)

This is based off a thing from a college prompt list i found and then lost (pls if someone knows what im talking about send it to me). It’s fluffy and lame but hope you guys enjoy it!

This couldn’t be happening. The honestly, truly, could not be happening to him. Izuku had been working so damn hard on that gosh darn eight page research report in the past few hours, but in his physically and mentally drained stupor, he had ignored the little flashing notification letting him know his laptop was almost out of battery and before her knew it, his laptop had flickered off only to leave him staring at his own shocked face reflected in the now blank screen. For a second, he stared at his laptop that was resting atop his crossed legs in shock before letting out a loud yelp and pushing his laptop off of him and onto the library floor as gently as he could before scrambling to dig his charger out of his backpack. Unfortunately though, he was too late, and when his laptop had finally booted back up and he hastily re-opened the document page he was writing on, everything was gone.

So there he was, sitting on the floor of the main campus’s library with hot tears beginning to stream down his flushed cheeks while he frantically scrolled through his saved files to see if there was any remnants of all the work he had done, only to find nothing. His sniffles filled the secluded corner of the library he had settled into what felt like days ago, and while he had originally picked that spot because there was really never any other students around, this time he had been sadly mistaken.

You didn’t plan on going to the library that night, but when a friend of yours had texted you and asked you a question about your midterm paper for your English Composition class, you realized that it was, in fact, due tomorrow and you barely had a title page put together. Once you got to the library and got yourself settled though, you realized upon reading through the rubric for the paper that two of your references had to be from books, so you had to go off to search for some that would match your topic. It was during this search that you thought you heard someone crying and with your curiosity and will to procrastinate getting the best of you, you followed that noise until you found the source. A curly mop of green hair was what had first caught your attention and you had to let out an awkward “Oh..” upon realizing you recognized who that was. It wasn’t until the young man turned to look at whoever had stumbled upon him with puffy, red eyes still filled to the brim with tears, that you realized how stupid it was to be surprised that you found someone crying when that was sort of what you had been looking for.

“Oh, sorry..” You muttered out when you saw him anxiously begin to wipe away at the tears that were drenching his face. Poor thing..Obviously something bad had happened and here you were barging in on his..crying.

“You’re uh...Midoriya, right?” You asked softly, figuring the least you could do was try to help out somehow. Besides it would be kind of rude to just walk up, see someone you know crying, and the turn right back around and walk off.

“Ah sorry, maybe you don’t remember me? We had chem together last semester, and a few other classes too I think.” You continued on, scratching the back of your head awkwardly as your eyes looked upward while you tried to recount where you had known him from. You never really got the chance to talk to him much, but he always seemed like such a sweet and radiant person that you always wanted to try, you just never really got the chance.

He, on the other hand, didn’t need any help remembering you. With how much he had daydreamed about you before, you’d think that you were just some sort of figment of his imagination. Izuku technically couldn’t say he had a crush on you since he’d hardly ever even been able to stutter out a hello to you when you two had shared classes, but he definitely had something for you. He never even knew what it was, maybe it was just him thinking you were cute or maybe he had learned enough about you from awkwardly frequent glances and a lot of ‘accidental’ staring, but every time he saw you it was like you put some sort of spell on him. He wanted so badly to get to know you, hell, he’d give anything just to talk to you, but he could never bring himself to do so no matter how many times his friends encouraged him to.

That being said, the fact that the very first time he’d have the chance to talk to you was when he was crying his eyes out was pretty sad. He thought he had somewhat gotten better with holding in his emotions and not crying so much or being nervous all the time now that he was technically an adult, but of course you of all people had to find him during one of his weaker moments.

“N-No, I remember you..And yeah, that’s me..” He stuttered out, his voice wavering while he continued to rub at his eyes. God, couldn’t he get a break!? It was like the faucet in his eyes had gotten stuck at the worst of times and even the gift of your presence couldn’t fix it.

You didn’t find his current appearance as terrible as he did, though. Midterms could be hell and you had spent plenty of times yourself crying from stress or confusion over a project.

“So-Sorry, I’m...I lost a whole paper.” He whimpered out an explanation while jabbing a shaky thumb in the direction of his laptop.

Your features softened and you laughed softly, though it was at familiarity with the common situation and not at his crying.

“Ahh, man, that does suck! I’ve got something I’m working on too.” You spoke up with a bit more enthusiasm, trying your best to make the situation a bit more lighthearted. “Mind if I sit with you for a bit?” You continued on, taking a few steps closer to him. “Ah but if I’m being too pushy, just tell me to piss off.”

Izuku’s eyes widened at your last statement. You were actually asking if you could sit with him, he’d be absolutely insane to ask you to leave, even if it would save him from embarrassment. He shook his head and moved over a bit until his back was up against the wall so there was space for you to sit.

“You can sit! I mean, It’s not- you’re not being pushy.” He responded with a bit of hesitation in his voice.

The smile that lit up on your face was, however, was way more than enough to make his heart start racing and when you seated yourself down less than a foot away from him, he thought he might just start crying because of his unbelievable combination of bad and good luck.

For a moment, the two of you sat in a strange yet comfortable silence, Izuku doing everything he could to avert his eyes from your own and you just scanning the rows upon rows of books. You weren’t excellent at helping out people who were upset, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“Sorry to hear about your paper Midoriya. When is it due?”

“..Tomorrow.” He sighed out, his little moment of bliss being interrupted by thoughts of his now nonexistent paper. His brain was absolutely fried and there was no way in hell he could redo the whole thing tonight. The best he could do would be to finish it over the weekend and take the bad grade…

“Why don’t you email your professor?” You asked, turning your head to look at him while you pulled your knees to your chest. When he finally looked up towards you with confusion in his eyes, you had to force yourself not to smile. He looked weirdly cute with tears in his eyes, maybe it’s because it made him seem so innocent, but either way you’d sound totally weird if you said that so you decided to keep it to yourself before furthering your explanation.

“Well I mean, from what I remember you’re a pretty hardworking guy. I’m sure your professor knows this, so maybe if you send an email explaining what happened, they’ll give you some extra time!”

In his exasperated and panicky state, he hadn’t even thought of doing that. He never thought of himself as a ‘hardworking guy’, but he still had a lot of doubts about different aspects of his personality so maybe that’s why.

“That’s a..good idea. I’ll have to do that.” He nodded, and for the first time since he lost his work, he cracked a bit of a smile. This made your own lips turn up into a satisfied grin. You had sort of been afraid you wouldn’t be able to do much to help him, but at least you had one good suggestion! Popping up from your seat, you stretched your arms up above your head before turning back to look at him again.

“Tell ya what, why don’t you do that and I’ll go get all my stuff and I’ll come work by you! Well, If you’re okay for staying a bit, I guess you probably want to go get some decent sleep..” You said, your words beginning with an excited tone and ending with a doubtful one. The guy was still crying a bit and you were asking him to sit and watch you work on your project. To him though, that was an incredible request. He thought you asking to sit with him was a miracle, but you asking him to sit with you? It was a dream come true.

“That would be nice! And I’d probably just worry myself too much to get any sleep right now anyways.” He replied, the smile on his face widening as his crying slowly halted to a stop.

Upon hearing his agreement, you gave him a thumbs up before turning on your heel and heading back over to the desk where you had left your bag and laptop. Instead of going right back to him though, you made a quick trip to the front lobby of the library to grab two sodas for the two of you to drink from one of the vending machines. When you finally made it back to him, you were happy to see that he had the remnants of a smile on his face despite his red eyes and cheeks. He had turned out to be as kind as you always thought him to be and you could only hope that he was as interested in gaining a new friend as you were.

Plopping down a few feet in front of him so you could talk face to face, you placed the soda you had gotten him on the floor in front of him before beginning to set up all your things.

“Figured you could use a pick-me-up. And no, you aren’t going to pay me back for it.”

The look on his face said that you had just stollen the words right from his thoughts and he was glad that he had only just stopped crying, otherwise he wouldn’t have much of an explanation for how hot his cheeks had gotten. Part of him wished he hadn’t waited so long to talk to you, even though technically you were the one who started the conversation, but at the same time he was happy that the two of you could officially meet in such a way.

With a flick of your fingers, you popped open the cap to your own drink before moving on to pop his open for him. After a moment, you held the drink up in front of you before your eyes met his own and you were blessed with that sparkling smile of his that you happily returned.

“Cheers to getting through our papers...And to new friends?” You asked, your brow raising to signify that you weren’t sure if that last bit was weird or okay to ask.

Luckily for you, he had never been happier to hear those words. With a grin still on his face, he raised his drink up with one hand and gave a confident thumbs up with the other, the positive idea of being friends with you making his night look a bit more promising.

“Yeah, to getting through papers, and making new friends!”

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha imagine #bnha imagine #izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader

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