#i might may a webcomic for her someday

[sagethesapphicdinosaur]

Me and uh yeah me

I’m Sage, uh- hi-

I go by she/her and im gay as fuck (sorry ladies im already taken by the love of my life)

I like art and stuff i wanna get into animation someday

I’m in highschool (unfortunately)

uhhhhhhh i have adhd and possibly other things

I may appear or disappear very randomly. i do not do anything consistently

l plan on starting a webcomic soon, will post on tumblr and possibly other sites? Might at least make a blog specifically for it

anyways gays imma go do other shit buh bye

[astaralys]

Update!

heeellooooooo......? 👀

I may have suddenly remembered I have a tumblr. And that I write Frozen fic. except......

oops.

Short story: I have been incredibly busy but well! I'm healthy! I'm still writing and creating! I hope everyone reading this is doing great!!

Long story:

"girl what on earth have you been doing" Career change, moved house, masochistically started a postgrad degree while working full time, working on original story projects when I have time AND AND AND started a two-person creative studio with @lianthuss!! We have a webcomic oneshot releasing in the coming weeks!! More info on that below :D

"are you still working on TNU??" First of all, thank you for sticking around for this story! The fact you enjoy it means so much to me. I know exactly how frustrating it is to be invested in an unfinished story. I have every intention of finishing the fic, and the thought of it still brings me a lot of joy, which is all I need to keep writing. That said, the honest answer is I've been so busy I haven't worked on it for almost a year now. I didn't even remember where I was up to in the next chapter until I opened it and saw 1000 words (that I now want to entirely overwrite 🥲)

"when do you think the fic will be finished?"

Funnily enough, my mental goal was to have TNU finished before Frozen 3 comes out... and I might still make it! There are (I think) 5-7 chapters left to go, so not far. The question is when I'll have time to write. The second question is what else I'm working on - I have a lot of original story ideas in development that motivate me more than TNU right now. TNU is like my fun corner. I pick at it when I miss it, or when I need a change of pace from other projects. I know it might be disappointing to hear TNU isn't my highest priority and truly appreciate every reader. I do absolutely plan to keep writing this fic, but I'm also having so much fun with original stories and the new studio. I hope some of you will be interested in supporting this other dimension of my creative pursuits too :)

"so tell us about these other creative pursuits" Why I'm so glad you asked! I actually discovered a passion for game development :O I've only made one little one for my partner so far but I have lots of other game ideas brewing that I'd love to turn into reality and share with the world. I'm especially pulled towards concepts that have compelling narratives (I am a writer hehe) that use gameplay to create a story that can only be told in the game medium. (yes, playing Nier: Automata changed my life and you should play it too) And!! I got into 3D modelling and pixel art! Super fun. Please behold this fat chocobo I modelled and got 3D printed

"how do we keep in touch with you before you come back 7 years later and tell us you're an astronaut now" I go by wiredforwords on twitter and instagram. Also just started up a ko-fi if you'd like to support me. Someday soon I'm going to share some free pixel emotes and other updates on there!

nice! now what's this about a studio? and webcomic??

why, I'm so glad you asked!

STUDIO POINT9 is mine and @lianthuss' new baby. It's where we work on and produce our original stories. Our first project is MIDNIGHT HOUR, a oneshot webcomic based on a moment in a larger sci-fi fantasy epic (which will be a webcomic series in the future!) I wrote a 2k oneshot on a whim and lianthuss brought it to life with her incredible storyboarding and art. Coming super duper soon! As in WITHIN ONE MONTH soon!!

We have big plans for STUDIO POINT9 and appreciate any support! You can follow us on twitter and instagram (@studio.point9). Cool website to come!

I'll try to be more active here and not forget tumblr exists. Might be TNU related. Might be random pixel art. Might be studio updates. Might be martians.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for enjoying my stories!!

[yurimother]

Interview: Shilin Huang, Creator of Amongst Us and Carciphona

Shilin Huang ( @okolnir​​ )is a Canadian freelance artist and comic creator, known for her long-running series Carciphona. She has a Bachelor of Music in Performance from the University of Western Ontario. Carciphona is a long-form fantasy story set in a world where demon-magic is forbidden. The series follows a young sorceress named Veloce, and the mythical assassin assigned to kill her, Blackbird.

Shilin’s newest book, Amongst Us, based on the webcomic of the same name, is an alternate universe comic that reimagines Veloce and Blackbird as musicians and girlfriends in the modern world. You can support the physical release for Amongst Us book 1 on Kickstarter today.

The first book of Amongst Us is coming soon. How do you feel about the release?

Eager and relieved!! I had worked for so long to make the web format viable for print format, as well doing all the extra drawings that were necessary--like covers--that I had to keep under wraps, it felt great to know that that part is finally done and I can release my child into the wild. I was very worried too before the launch of the Kickstarter, because though I am the one who made this story, I am not quite a slice-of-life type of person myself, and it was hard for me to see value in this mundane, not-plot-driven kind of story as a printed book. But I was very lucky to have that worry dispelled!

What drew you towards creating comics and artwork? Was it a dream of yours?

I’ve been drawing since before elementary school because I enjoyed it, and somewhere along the way, I wanted to create my own characters, and then I wanted stories for them. It was always just me doing what I felt like doing, more so than something that I aspired towards achieving consciously. If I had to analyze the allure myself, maybe it was because people and the world are so interesting, I’ve always loved thinking about their nature and circumstances, and art/storytelling was the best way for me to explore and share those thoughts.

Could you briefly walk us through your creative process for making a page of Carciphona or an episode of Amongst Us?

Carciphona is a long, plot-driven story, and so the scale of preparation required before the page eclipses the actual drawing of the page itself. [A] small moment has some larger impact in the plot, character development, and accuracy of world-building. So I usually spend about half a year or more writing out an entire volume, read it over many times over the course of the years, before I do the same thing with sketching the entire volume on the computer, rearranging pages and panels and entire scenes for best delivery, before I finally commit to drawing out each page in detail on the computer. 

Where Carciphona is like an elaborate set course where I chop up and measure ingredients and time their cooking with a careful game plan so everything can be served as they should, Amongst Us is more like an omelette that I’m making to taste. There is still planning and writing ahead of time, but each episode is much more self-contained, and I do more of the planning of the episode within the episode itself, adding and taking away details as I see fit before I feel like it reads naturally enough for me to fine line, colour, and paint.

You talk about being a self-taught artist, how did you learn to create artwork? What are some of your favorite educational resources?

While I did come across many tutorials, they were mostly short ones here and there made by my peers, so I don’t have any favourites in my mind that I can share ): . I learned by just looking at the art of my peers at the time and drawing a lot myself, thinking about what I could learn from each time I see something great, and what I could try next time to make the next drawing look better to me. When I had just started drawing digitally, the internet was quite new, drawing tablets expensive and uncommon, with no social media to share art or find resources. Over time, I did try to learn more properly by doing studies and seeking out professional tutorials, but I found that I hated it and decided that I’d rather learn and make mistakes at my own pace and be happy than to commit to effective and efficient learning and make myself dislike drawing.

Amongst Us is, of course, an Alternate Universe comic featuring characters from Carciphona. What inspired you to put your characters into a GL slice of life work?

Back in 2006, when I started drawing Carciphona, I had no plans of this frenemies dynamic for the two main characters, Blackbird and Veloce, and when the thought had occurred to me as I continue to tweak the story, canon GL relationships were still rare and rarely accepted. I was even told on many occasions by readers that they hope the two do not end up with some couples dynamic, or they will no longer be interested in the story. Ultimately, Carciphona was a fantasy story about an entire world, and I wasn’t going to risk the story’s reception over a small detail like whether or not Blackbird and Veloce sleep together, so I just played with the ideas of their relationship on the side, in paintings of many different AUs. Eventually, all that did was make me become so attached to the idea that I decided to say, screw it, I need someplace where they could be together, and I’m drawing an AU for real.

Where do you draw inspiration from for your work? Both Amongst Us and Carciphona.

I love a lot of things, feelings, aesthetics, and I eat up all of that and take it back out in the form of my stories. The inspiration is everywhere, from beautiful imagery I witness in pictures and in real life, to [the] lives of people that I hear about or experience firsthand, to the ethics and structures of professions from mechanics to medicine… In feelings, knowledge, and perspective, there’s an infinite amount of things that makes me think, and that thinking is what creates AU and Carciphona, whether or not that line of inspiration can be clearly drawn back to the root of the thought.

What are some of your biggest challenges or fears creating Amongst Us? Was there any realization or advice that helped you overcome those difficulties?

My biggest fear is always in relatability because it’s a difference between me and the reader that I do not and cannot have a solution for because it involves another person. In such a relatable genre as slice of life/comedy/romance, where the readers have more experience and therefore more varied but stronger expectations of a version of life that is relatable to them, I know that even if somehow I become a master writer, I still would not be able [to] say whether I could story that others would get or would be interested in, especially because I am aware I am an oddball when it comes to how I think, how I live, and what I value. What helped me the most was simply seeing that there were readers who did enjoy the stories for what it was, and reminding myself that I’m telling the stories to find those who might enjoy it, not to avoid those who might not. It’s a different perspective, rather than a solution, so the worry constantly resurfaces, but I hope it becomes easier over time as I am proven wrong more often!

Amongst Us readers have gotten to see Veloce and Blackbird as an established couple, and now we are witnessing flashbacks to how they first met. Where do you hope to take the series in the future?

I intend to tell both of these timelines concurrently, so as the couple timeline ended at episode 20, I intend to end the flashback at around episode 40, and then switch again at episode 60, and so on. While this kills the momentum for each arc, I made AU so that I can have the cake and eat it too--I want both their back story and a happy ending at the same time without having to wait 10-20 years for it, like I do with Carciphona’s plot haha!

What is one dream or aspiration you would like to accomplish? Even if it is unrealistic.

My only dream right now is just to finish both Carciphona and AU before my time’s up! Funny how unrealistic is specified, it made me realize that I rarely consider unrealistic dreams/aspirations as worth thinking about as they are unlikely to happen when there are so many other things I want to do that are actually possible. Most of my unrealistic dreams actually revolve around music, a profession I had left behind with an aching heart. I dream to play a concerto with an orchestra someday, or even learn to conduct, but for now, drawing my dreams out feels enjoyable and fulfilling enough a compromise!

What advice do you have for people wanting to create artwork and comics?

The true challenge these days I feel like is rarely in the work itself; there are so many readily available free resources that anyone who is capable of working hard and thinking critically will sooner or later be able to master skills they acquire to some degree. What is truly challenging is finding, and then accepting, what paths work for you. Someone might find great joy in working in a studio with a group on something big, while someone else might only enjoy drawing what they feel. Both, in this current climate, will be compelled to adhere to the standards of drawing what others want to see in order to gain recognition and financial stability, one will thrive, one will not. 

I think the most important thing to keep in mind is understanding what you want out of drawing/creating, and why. Understanding yourself is often not as straight-forward as it may seem, everyone has different circumstances that subtly motivates them to sometimes misdirect energy and misinterpret what it is they truly want. Some people need to be understood, some people want an excuse to execute, and some people want fame, money, recognition, validation. Whatever it is, and all valid, understanding and accepting your own motivations to create can tremendously help you find the path forward that is suitable for you, not anyone else, even if it might mean following an impractical path that no one else recommends.

Finally, after the release of the first Amongst Us book, what is next for you? Anything special your fans can look forward to?

My game plan through the decades has always been to just keep going. I did choose long-form projects such as the comics that I draw, and the best thing I can do is to just keep it up and reach those exciting points of the story that I’ve always worked towards, no matter how uneventful that may make my work routine sound. However, I do have a little side thing with a(nother) recurring theme that I’ve been doing here and there for fun whenever I had time, people who keep up with my social media art posts may have noticed. If I ever accumulate enough material, maybe there will be some bonus snacks for my readers on the horizon!

Read Carciphona and Amongst Us online now and be sure to support the physical release on Amongst Us book 1 on Kickstarter today. Also, be sure to follow Shilin on Twitter @Okolnir.

[the-nysh]

Who are your top 5 favorite characters from opm?

Ah! Let’s see... Off the top of my head, that’d be Garou & Genos, Saitama, Tatsumaki, and...the 5th I’m not sure, either Fubuki or Metal Bat. But I can check my tag archives to see how many times I talk/post about certain characters!

First up, the top 3! I’ve always liked Genos since the beginning (2016-s1 era) so he’s already had a couple of years before Garou arrived to amass more content than him, whose posting rate soon exploded caught up and surpassed Saitama, probably during/around the s2 era. :O While Saitama’s pretty much always remained an unchanging, steady constant. At the rate I’m currently going tho (and depending on how much canon + fanon content gets made) I suspect Garou may eventually pass Genos too someday! :O So I’m always keeping tabs checking on these numbers (kinda like an arms race, aha) to see if/when that ever happens! 

Next up is...oh! 

The esper sisters! Who’re surprisingly more even than I thought. :O If you were to ask, I’d say I probably prefer Tatsumaki, because she’s been awesome lately to distinguish & assert herself as a fully competent, impressive, hardworking hero in the manga, but manga Fubuki is also growing into her own (finally getting her time to shine)! So I guess I’m equally glad to see them both get the attention and fleshed out characterizations they deserve! (Good job, ONE!) Also fun trivia: Murata & ONE placed before and after Fubuki & Tatsumaki respectively!

Ok, so I guess my top 5 consists of the main boys & girls...:P Perhaps a little boring/predictable, so I’m curious who else makes my list.

Oh TAREO!? He’s unexpected at no.6! :O But I guess since I talk about him a lot in relation to Garou, those numbers are surely bound to add up. Ah, and there’s Metal Bat; I figured he might place a little higher, but since I tend to prefer gen/solo content of him too (like Garou), it makes sense his numbers are lower compared to what (ie shippy stuff) the majority of the fandom tends to portray/produce of him instead. King & Sonic then come in at about the same. Who else~ 

Oho, Overgrown Rover?! Probably because he’s become Saitama & Genos’ pet in the webcomic, so there’s lots of content about him. Rover & Zombieman come in at similar numbers, then Suiryu & Bang, Flash, Psykos (ooh? surprised to see her here), Sweet Mask, and Child Emperor.

Unlisted, but who also still deserve mentioning: Suiko (she’s likely still too new to get enough content yet), Mumen Rider, and Kuseno, all whom I also like. :’3 Tallying everyone in my top 20! 

[pidayforpi]

(Um...This is...a rather sad post, for me and many others affected. Please feel free to skip it if you may feel overwhelmed.)

This month, an admirable artist of mine passed away.

Just this afternoon, when I was on Twitter, I learnt of the news of her passing from another artist I follow.

I am not an artist, and will probably never be one. Aesthetic of visual arts is never my talent. I have learnt this shortcoming of mine since I was little.

Therefore, I respect people with a gift in drawing a lot. I may be able to convey a message through words, but more often than not, a single piece of artwork speaks much more than a passage or a story.

I have followed the artist since I was in early secondary school, from Deviant Art before to Twitter now. What attracted me is what was also her best-known work: A webcomic in progress.

She pitched the idea of it long before I had got to know her, and I have since waited for the realisation of this aspiration of hers: A sci-fic story involving a team of four. I remember having a blast just looking at the designs, reading the biographies of the protagonists and that one charming antagonist. Her unique, wacky art style combined with a creative mind always made me happy, excited for what masterpiece she might have next. I anticipated her dream coming-true, and I know I was not the only one.

She was quite popular among artists, as well. I remember seeing other talented people drawing those characters of her, asking her about her project and giving their support and appreciation. I recall her being especially good friends with a certain artist. They always drew one another’s characters in their own art style, like a gift exchange among artists, a mutual encouragement between dream-chasers.

But me and her? It was a strange bond.

She didn’t know me. I barely knew her. I was extremely shy at that time. I didn’t comment on her artwork. I didn’t even leave a like. Of course she wouldn’t know me.

Living in two places separated by land and water, there’s no way we would had seen each other in real life. Except if a chance encounter had happened during our travels, unbeknownst to both of us.

But it was a connection across space. A string held together by a common interest. She might not know it, but her artwork once brought many joyful moments to an anonymous stranger. She would not know it, but an anonymous stranger once sent her his silent support and gratitude.

She did not know it, but her passion and talent made a certain childhood more colourful.

I have no right to be sad. A lot of people are much more affected than me, people who have been with her the entire time. I had left for a few years, and when I saw the news, it is already time to bid farewell.

A dream to be continued, but a sweet dream nonetheless. The journey might not be completed, but how grateful I am for what it had given me.

It is too late even for a parting gift, but please allow me to send this gift to somewhere without an address.

Thank you, Yark.

———————————————————————

ふっ切るはずの心に そっと横切る風は優しく

向かい合って握った手と手を いつもの黄昏が包み 溶かしてゆく

おかしいね これぽっちも貴方と私の微笑 今では

鏡を見てるような気分

The breeze gently passes through the air, blowing towards the heart that should have been broken.

Enveloping those crossed, held hands in the everyday dusk, slowly disappearing.

Strange, isn’t it? Our smile never looked the same.

But now, it seems like I am looking at my own reflection.

悲しまない 平気だからね

何気ない挨拶に隠れてる "ありがとう"

さよならbyebye 元気でいてね

私から切り出したけじめだから キャッチしてよ

I won’t be sad. Because it’s nothing.

Hidden under those nonchalant greetings is my “thank you”.

Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

Because this is a request I proposed first, please firmly catch it.

ついさっきまで まともに 未来のこと話せないでいた

実らない想いの数 増えるほど 優しくなってきたけれど

今では 少しくらいは とがりたくて・・・

Not long ago, we never talked about the future.

Although I am getting gentler, as wishes that cannot be granted accumulate.

But now, for only a bit, please let me throw a little tantrum...

悲しまない そろそろ行くよ

他愛ない挨拶と間違えて 振り返る

さよならbyebye 元気でいてね

年に二枚くらいの葉書なら キャッチするよ

I won’t be sad. It’s time for you to go.

Contradicting my cold salutations, I turned around.

Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

If you write me a postcard or two every year, I will surely catch it tightly.

きっといつか いつか会える

いいよ 返さなくていいよ ＣＤも ブルースハープも

Someday, I am sure we will meet again...

(It’s alright if you keep it. Whether it is the CD, or the harmonica...)

悲しまない 悲しまないで

不意打ちを食らう顔 見せないで ピっとしなよ

さよならbyebye 元気でいてね

おめでとうと どちらか言えるとき 会ってみたい

I won’t be sad. Please don’t be sad as well.

Don’t let me see that devastated expression, and cheer up.

Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

I hope that when we congratulate each other, we can meet again.

悲しまない 平気だからね

何気ない挨拶に隠れてる "ありがとう"

さよならbyebye 元気でいてね

私から切り出したけじめだから キャッチしてよ

I won’t be sad. Because it’s nothing.

Hidden under those nonchalant greetings is my “thank you”.

Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

Because this is a request I proposed first, please firmly catch it.

さよならbyebye 元気でいてね

年に二枚くらいの葉書なら キャッチするよ

さよならbyebye 元気でいてね

私から切り出したけじめだから キャッチしてよ

Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

If you write me a postcard or two every year, I will surely catch it tightly.

Farewell. Bye bye. Please do take care.

Because this is a request I proposed first, please firmly catch it.

——— 馬渡松子　≪さよならbyebye≫

Mawatari Matsuko “Farewell, Bye Bye”

(25-10-2020)

[violetosprey]

Can I ask what it is that you like so much about yanderes? :)) I feel the same but just wanna know. I love your blog and your TTDUP / BTD analysis so much!

Thank you so much!  This is also really nice to get a question like this again.  I know I’ve mentioned a few times here and there already what I like about yanderes. This question made me really happy to see though, so instead of linking older posts, I’ll go ahead and just write my thoughts out here.

People who’ve been around this blog before may see me reiterate some stuff I’ve said in the past, but I’ll try to throw in some new points as well that I might not have covered before.

Short version:

-        The very personalized/ one-on-one relationship

-        The irony of love being a source of terror (if it’s a horror story)

-        The unpredictability and over-the-top nature of the character

-        The flexibility of a character for a story

I’ll place a longer version below.  A fair warning, I did originally start liking the character type as a horror element and still lean towards that even now, so my apologies if I emphasize that too much below. I’ll try to touch on the more romantic element as well towards the end.

“Love makes you crazy” is such a simple phrase.  People may act out of character or embarrassed in front of their loved one, or even put themselves in harm’s way to save someone they love.

“Anything in excess is bad” is another phrase I also take to heart.  For instance, all humans need water to live, but it’s physically possible to actually die from consuming too much water in one sitting (Don’t worry, it’d have to be a LOT of water- you’re not going to do this on accident).

Yanderes are a pretty good example on the validity of these statements.

Love is a very normal and necessary emotion for people to have.  Heck, if you grow up without love of ANY kind, there’s a good chance of a person developing into an unscrupulous character.  As for romance, nearly everyone desires to find that special person someday to spend the rest of your life with.  No one wants to be alone, society praises love stories and getting married is one of the most common goals in everyone’s lives.  Love is something that can bring out the best in us. Our compassion starts to thrive. There are so many stories where love is viewed as pure.  In stories of “good vs. evil,” of course love, compassion and understanding are the way of the good guys.

So what got me hooked on yanderes to begin with, and still remains one of my favorite elements about them? It’s the concept that even LOVE is something that can become terrifying when we have too much of it.

I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll say it again:  I love the irony that love can be used as a horror element.  Yanderes are essentially characters that are craving a very normal and wonderful connection with another person.  They’re focused too, so when they find the one they love, it’s intense and they dedicate themselves to that person alone.  It truly is romantic when I spell it out like that.  There are two main problems though.  The first being a yandere’s feelings are SO intense that they tend to go overboard with their actions.  They don’t know how to temper themselves at times, so what they do may seem weird or creepy even (ex. Excessive texting, odd or numerous gifts).  They also may not be able to accept other people getting in the way of their desired relationship.  The second problem being that a yandere may not be able to accept rejection.  This depends solely on if the S/O does reject the yandere for whatever reason, and what kind of yandere it is.  If it’s a selfless yandere, there’s a little less to worry about, but they WILL still remain persistent.  The selfish yanderes though, those are the ones where everything goes to hell when they realize things aren’t going their way.

Another thing I like about yanderes is, regardless of whether or not the S/O accepts the yandere, the relationship is ALWAYS very personalized.  One-on-one. I absolutely adore personalized relationships.

To explain my love of more villainous or antagonistic yanderes, I think there’s an element I never mentioned before here on this blog that helps get that point across a little more.

I love villain characters to begin with.  Plain and simple.  I have found media sometimes that I never pay attention to until randomly a villain pops up in the media that catches my eye (this may also explain a little on why I took to the BTD/TDDUP series).  

Now every hero needs a good adversary.  Not all villains are up to snuff, but when you come across one that you find interesting, everything becomes a lot more fun.  The best is when a piece of media is very good about developing unique relationships and interactions between the good characters and the villain.  It’s even better if you have the villain has a VERY particular relationship with just ONE of the good characters.

I have a little hierarchy of interest when it comes to one-on-one good guy and villain relationships. In order of least to most interesting here (EDIT:  All these relationships are interesting and fun for me, but this is categorizing which ones I like more):

5) 1v1 relationship between the hero and villain. This is purely antagonistic between the two, with one or both likely wanting to see the other dead.  Think of special rivalries like Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty.

4) Villain does not want to kill the hero.  This could be for a plethora of reasons such as a sense of respect the villain has for the hero, or the villain’s “game” would end without the hero around.

3) Villain wants the hero to join them.  This could be as a minion, a pet, a partner or their prodigy.

2) Villain is attracted to/in love with the hero.  Basically, a Batman and Catwoman relationship.

1) Villain is OBSESSIVELY in love with the hero.  THIS is where we get a yandere here.  The hero is now the pinnacle focus of the villain…not because the villain wants them dead, but because WANT them.

Like I said, the horror element is what snagged my interest first, but it certainly isn’t the only element to focus on for yanderes.

It’s been fun exploring more about yanderes on tumblr!  You can certainly expand more on romantic element of the character type.  Heck, if you FORGET the romantic element (which unfortunately can happen sometimes), then you really don’t have a yandere to begin with.  As long you make sure the character remains obsessive and possessive towards a person they LOVE to a degree, you can still have a yandere WITHOUT making them the villain or antagonist of a story. Put some elements in a story that make the yandere not the main issue.  Or you can put have the yandere and the S/O actually in a relationship. That’s a very interesting dynamic right there.

The over-the-top and unusual nature of yanderes doesn’t have to end simply because they’re not the main problem in a story or because they finally got together with the love of their life. Anime’s most famous yandere, Yuno from Future Diary, does develop a relationship with her S/O, is full blown yandere and also is not the main problem in the story (aka there’s still the Survival Game).  One of my favorite male yanderes is actually No Onyu from the Metronome manga (or webcomic?).  At least he’s a yandere so far (translations are slow as hell).  That’s a yandere in a more heroic role.  He’s very protective and it’s fun see him not only go murderous at times, but also have to hold back at the S/O’s behest.

The best thing about having a yandere in a supporting or heroic role, is you can still guarantee that there won’t be anything “normal” about the situation.  Even if the yandere has a fair control of their emotions and/or is rather tame, the way they solve issues to help their beloved is probably not going to be as clean cut as a normal protagonist would do.

You can also take really extreme yanderes, or one’s that start out antagonistic, and have them go through some character development to get past their more problematic traits (especially if it’s to become more appealing for their S/O).

To sum it up, the base element of yanderes (that possessive and obsessive love) makes them fun to watch, but they can still be flexible characters depending on the situation you place them in.

I hope this explanation didn’t sound lackluster.  I’ve been a little busy this weekend, but I really appreciated this ask.  It’s always fun to reminisce and lay things out in the open.

[mszegedy]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2020: Days 1-10

This is a list of questions by @autie-jake (full list here), where you’re supposed to answer one per day for every day of April. I learned about it a few days into April and intended to start doing it but I forgot, I guess, or maybe decided against it. But I wanna do it now, so here’s the first ten days really quick.

April 1: Introduce yourself. Talk about who you are as a person.

This is kind of a hard question for me. I think my younger sister (by 3¾ years) would say this, if she just made a new friend the same age as her and she asked about me:

“Well, she goes to college, but she’s graduating this semester. She does something with proteins, but honestly she should really be a linguist. I actually really hate discussing linguistics with her, because she gets so annoying and overbearing about it. I don’t understand why she’s doing whatever she is. She’s a pretty weird person. She has all sorts of problems with, like, depression and amnesia and stuff. Oh, but, she’s trans, so, like, that’s a thing, yeah. I don’t like talking about most things with her because she thinks she’s always right. And also, she’s kind of mean to our mom. I don’t know why she does that. But at the same time she’s, like, really sensitive, and will be offended by the stupidest things. Okay, this is making it sound like I don’t like her, but I do, okay? She’s my sister, of course I love her. We’ve bonded a lot. She’s moving to DC in October, so we’ll be able to hang out during the school year, and that’ll be really fun. I think I’m just a little fed up with her right now from having to live with her for a whole month.“

April 2: Post your red instead selfie today! Alternatively, you could talk about why you choose to go redinstead and what it means to you.

I don’t know what “redinstead” is. I googled it and it sounds like you wear differently-themed stuff from what’s recommended by Autism Speaks, to dunk on them. Like a lot of people, I’m stuck inside this April, so there’s no point in me wearing pride clothing, because nobody will see it. But I do disapprove of Autism Speaks, because they don’t treat autistic people like people, and they try to spread that ideology. If you trick them into thinking you’re a person first, they won’t change their mind; instead, they’ll say you’re not autistic. People defend them by recounting the problems that nonverbal autistic people face, as though nonverbal autistic people have an inherently worse neurotype than everyone else, and not just one that’s more difficult to accomodate for society, and as though that justifies the abuses levied against them by Autism Speaks. I could go into details, but I won’t, because it would be emotionally draining for me as a writer, and you as a reader.

Suffice to say, I love being autistic. It has inspired a lot of people to treat me very badly, and probably led to a degree of abuse and neglect in my childhood that resulted in dissociative identity disorder. But all of my autistic traits are things that I love about myself. I like how emotionally expressive my stims make me. I like how I’ve learned to dissect a lot of social stuff and I can explain it. I like how I can just dispense with all of that social stuff around autistic people. Hell, I think it gives the neurotypical people I hang out with some relief, too, when I’m straightforward and explicit all the time. I like how good I am at linguistics, and how I can use it as a way to relate to the world.

April 3: Talk about special interests. Do you have any? What are they? How long have you had them? What does it feel like to have special interests? What does having special interests mean to you? Talk about your past special interests

My special interests are unusually slow burns. I’ve had linguistics-related special interests for the past ten years. They’re peripherally useful for language learning, but mostly I’ve just accumulated academic knowledge. They’ve, however, also led me to reconnect with my Ugric heritage culture, which is very important to me. (It wouldn’t be important to me if language weren’t my primary way of relating to the world; paradox?)

I have a wide variety of other interests, but few of them are really “special”. As a kid, my special interest was marine life. Unfortunately, I haven’t retained much of that, although I do have the privilege of having a diver’s license, which I’ll use again someday when I pass better naked. I also briefly had a special interest in… building computers, or something. I didn’t have the money to make anything particularly powerful (not that I had anything at the time to use computational power for), but I did run some workshops for middle-schoolers.

I think maybe my interest as a kid in Homestuck was special? It ran pretty deep, anyway. It’s hard to say, when you can’t remember most of your life.

April 4: Do you consider your autism to be an important part of your identity?

Because we have DID (or something like it), we don’t have an identity in the traditional sense. We do have a system identity, but that’s built around our mutual goals and guidelines. However, we’d be very sad to lose our autistic traits. Also, it might mess with the standard of consistency we’ve established for ourselves; we might not be able to predict our future actions, because losing our autistic traits may interfere with our ability to follow the aforementioned goals and guidelines, which are what help keep us focused and consistent.

April 5: Talk about your living situation. Do you live with your parents? Do you live on your own? Have roommates? Etc. If you live on your own how hard was it to get used to?

Right now, I’m quarantining with my mom, my sister, and my brother (who is actually my sister’s boyfriend), at my mom’s house. The mess that’s accumulating in the house is slowly causing my mom more and more stress, I think. I’ve never really lived on my own. For a lot of college, I lived with roommates or housemates, but I don’t think I was very good at that. Also, my mom lived nearby, and I stayed at her place on the weekends. The closest I’ve come to living on my own is watching my mom’s house for up to a few weeks at a time, and that wasn’t sustainable. (To be fair, what kind of house has a lawn? When I get a house with a lawn in the future, I will make sure that it’s a wild lawn that I don’t have to mow.)

The third to last time that I house-sitted for my mom, I ended up getting hospitalized for self-harm. It took her a while to let me do it again after that. Although, not a very long while, I guess. That was at the end of last September.

April 6: Are you able to drive? If you can, was it hard for you to learn? If not, what alternatives do you use, if any

I’m not able to drive. Driving is scary and difficult for me. I went through the motions of learning it in high school, but my track was interrupted by a move across state lines (I lived in the US at the time), and I never recovered. I’ve failed the NJ written driver’s exam, which grants you a one-year permit with restrictions, a total of roughly ten times. I’ve never been this bad at a subject; it’s like I have the opposite of a special interest in driving. A special lack-of-interest. My brain won’t retain any information about NJ driving laws whatsoever. It doesn’t help that I had a traumatic car crash when I was very young.

So far, I’ve just gotten my mom and coworkers to drive me places, or taken Ubers or trains. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I leave NJ, I’ll probably have to get a driver’s license. Although, I’ve already got a carpool set up at my next job in October.

April 7: Talk about autism in the media. Do you think that autism is typically portayed well? Badly? Is there anything you’d like to see more of when it comes to autistic representation? Who are your favorite autistic characters? Do you have any headcanons?

The media that I consume doesn’t really have autistic characters, so I can’t comment on how autistic people are portrayed, except that I’d like us to be portrayed more, period. I’ve only really seen us in teen dramas. To be fair, one of my favorite webcomics, El Goonish Shive, is a teen drama, and has a great autistic character (Susan). I’d say I identify with her, but not really. It’s very hard for me to identify with people, fictional or nonfictional, because my neurotype is greatly influenced by autism, DID, chronic depression, and gender dysphoria, and you don’t see combinations of traits in media that come even close to that.

Speaking of another teen drama, I wish I were half as cool as Matilda from Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. I guess that makes her my favorite canon autistic character, but that’s pretty easy, because I don’t know any other ones. I can’t say that I wanna hug her, because she doesn’t like that, but her general substitute for hugs is dancing, and I can’t dance. I guess I’d learn how, to show my appreciation for her.

Archer from Archer is probably autistic. I like him a lot.

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

“Hating” is not something I can really do, even when it’s recommended to do it. I haven’t been open about my autism, so I haven’t been exposed to too many misconceptions or stereotypes about it firsthand, anyway. I guess if I had to pick, it would be whatever made my dad call me autistic as an insult and use a bunch of ableist slurs at me a whole lot. I don’t know how he understands autism, however. He doesn’t seem to realize that he has it himself. (It’s not usually one’s place to diagnose other people like that, but one of the most degrading things that my mom says to me very often is that I’m exactly like my father. He even has some traits that I don’t, like touch-aversion and samefoods.)

April 9: How sensitive are you when it comes to touch? Are you pro hug or anti hug?

I’m hyposensitive. I’m really losing it here under this quarantine. I had a girlfriend who always made me feel so respected whenever she responded to my touch-based needs, by squeezing me, hugging me, or otherwise cuddling me very tight, but then she broke up with me because of my mental health issues, and because her parents hated me and her friends were made very uncomfortable by me.

April 10: Do you have trouble understanding when someone is being sarcastic or joking?

It depends. I think I’m as good at it as I’ll ever be, and my false negative rate is under 0.5 (and my false positive rate is very low, but not 0). But I don’t think the same thing goes on in my head as in neurotypical people’s heads when I determine something to be a joke. I almost explicitly do a Bayesian calculation; “Based on what I know about this person and this context, how well can I imagine them meaning this statement unironically in this context? How well can I imagine them meaning this statement ironically in this context?” It’s pretty automatic now, but sometimes it doesn’t work very well, when I’m not so familiar with the person and/or the context, and occasionally the intended interpretation of the statement.

[lawchan89]

"Remember Me" with Star and Marco? (maybe Star's spell went haywire and she doesn't remember Marco or going to Earth ?? I have no idea, but whatever you decide will be fantastic regardless

Send me characters and a prompt

I came up with a different idea for this when reading one of my favorite webcomics. Hope you still like it!

A smile lit up the future queen of Mewni’s face as she silently held up a glass of champagne, toasting her parents’ wedding anniversary. Much to Queen Moon’s surprise, King River swept her off her feet and dipped her, their lips meeting in a brief loving kiss before the applauding court. The band once again struck up their waltz as the crowd once again dispersed to the ballroom floor, many with drinks still in hand.

Downing the bubbling liquid rather quickly, Star’s crystal blue eyes scanned the room. People were already coupling up, including her parents, and even Ponyhead had managed to snag some poor guy who looked greatly intimidated by the brash equine. Standing there alone in her midnight blue and gold gown, long satin gloves and glittering tiara, Star was the poster child for “all dressed up and no place to go”. And once the chandeliers dimmed and the fluttering fairy lights strung around the room bloomed to life, she had to admit she was feeling rather left out.

“Excuse me, Your Highness?” a deep voice said softly behind her. “Might I trouble you for a dance?”

“You may,” Star said to the stranger, setting her glass down on a waiter’s vacant tray, just as the young man took one of her gloved hands in his, cupping her waist with the other. “Aren’t you forward.”

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this dance,” he whispered, hiding his face in her hair, his words grazing her ear. “A real waltz with you, Princess.”

“Well, wait no more.” She was biting her lip to smother down a giggle as her partner spun her across the floor to the center of the room, hanging onto his shoulder for balance.

“And maybe after our dance, a walk in the garden?”

“Oh, I’m sorry sir, but if you were expecting to court the Princess tonight, I’ll have to stop you right there. I’ve already chosen my future King and am engaged to be married.”

“What a shame,” the mystery man sighed. “Lucky guy. Anyone I know?”

“Perhaps you’ve met my squire, Marco Diaz of Earth,” Star replied, continuing her proper tone worthy of her own mother. “He’s finishing his last semester of college soon, and then moving back to Mewni to become sort of an apprentice to my father.”

“And he couldn’t make time to come to this splendid ball and dance the night away with you? What a jerk.”

“His education is really important to him, and I respect that,” Star argued. “In fact, it just makes me love him even more.”

“Ahh, marrying for love. A progressive idea in the royal family, even to this day.”

“I’m the Rebel Princess, in case you haven’t heard,” she snickered. People were parting the floor and smiling at her and her dance partner, but neither of them paid the crowd any heed. “I don’t do the whole ‘marriage as a business transaction’ deal.”

“Duly noted,” the man chuckled warmly, his breath tickling her neck. “How did you and this Marco fall in love? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Not at all,” Star smiled, the tip of her nose touching his hair. “We’ve been best friends since we were kids. I guess you could say I’ve loved him for years, but was too scared to face it. I spent a year living on Earth as an exchange student with his family, and in the time, he became the most important person in my life.”

“How’s that?”

“He shaped me into who I am today,” the princess breathed out, feeling herself grow weary as the champagne took hold of her. “Kind, brave and thoughtful, he made me take a second look at the world I came from and realize it needed to change. He’s taught me so much about embracing who I am and the leader I’ll become someday.” She leaned into her partner’s embrace, letting him practically drag her through the waltz. “How could I not fall in love with someone who brings out my best?”

“I guess he doesn’t sound half bad.” He swooped her down into a low dip, his lips practically brushing her neck. “Brings out your best…reminds me of my betrothed.”

“You’re engaged too?” Star raised her eyebrows amusedly as he returned her to her feet.

“Yes, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen her,” the handsome partner said sadly. “Almost a year. I barely remember her. I think she’s royalty. Very strong and fierce.”

“Is she?”

“In battle, and in standing up for what she believes in. But you’d be surprised how gentle and compassionate she is underneath.” The young suitor twirled a finger around a loose lock of her golden hair. “Strawberries…that’s what she smells like.”

“My Marco smells like cinnamon.” And she took a great whiff of it from his collar.

“She’s the most beautiful, inspiring woman I’ve ever known. How could I not fall in love with her?”

“She sounds…well,” Star let out a soft laugh, “I’m sure she’d be humbled to hear you say that.”

“I’ve missed her smile, her laugh, her scent, her eyes – but most of all, I’ve missed her kiss.” He pulled back, and his deep brown eyes stared down into her own. “Care to jog my memory?”

“Sir, I barely know you,” Star fluttered out softly.

“Do you?”

“Help me remember.” Cupping the tan face in her hands, her thumb brushing over the mole under his right eye, Star brought her lips to her dance partner’s, losing herself in every inch of his touch, the feel of his fingers sliding up and down her torso. Her updo became disheveled as his hands scrambled through her hair, but she kept her mouth working frantically with his until they were forced to come up for air.

“I missed you,” Star nearly wept, relieved to be in his arms again, surprised that he was here much sooner than she expected. “I missed you more than you’ll ever know.”

“I’m here,” Marco sighed out, closing his eyes once his forehead met hers. “For good. I’m not going anywhere again. I’m yours, Star.”

“Same. For as long as you’ll have me.”

“Ah, the old ‘strange handsome dance partner at the ball’ routine,” River chuckled from across the floor. “Now where could he have gotten that idea from?”

Moon narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. “Me, River. He got it from me.”

“Wha– pfft, that’s absurd Moon Pie, I’m the one who–!” He paused, as if the wine had suddenly overtaken his mind, “Wait wait, no…it was you, wasn’t it?”

Moon bit back a laugh as she rolled her eyes.

[recentanimenews]

I Wanted to Write a Tourism Article, But I Touched a Mysterious Glowing Portal and Somehow Ended Up in Another World?!

So, cards on the table, this wasn't the article I was originally going to write.

  The plan in my to-do list—and the plan in newsroom chat—had been for me to head out to Japan, meet up with a friend there, and review a bunch of the collab cafés currently running. (Astute readers may have gathered that, since I cover the news pieces for like 90% of them, I'm kind of infatuated with them.) I had the reservations all set for all of them, I had my round trip ticket, got my passport renewed, the whole nine yards.

  Then on the layover in San Francisco, I killed some time looking at the modern art pieces scattered around my gate, and... long story short, things happened, I touched what I thought was an interactive NASA display but oh silly me it was an interdimensional portal.

  No lectures, please. Lessons were learned.

  At the moment, I have two issues. One, I have ended up getting so turned around in my efforts to get home that I've actually ended up going through a total of seven worlds, none of which are the one I'm trying to get back to. Two, I have a feature due, like, now. So I figure while I'm waiting to meet up with this mysterious guy who looks and sounds eerily like my childhood friend, I might as well knock out two birds with one stone.

  So, in lieu of what was going to be an adorable romp through anime-themed parfaits and soda, here's a travelogue of other worlds you may find yourself visiting someday.

  Yggdrasil

  If I'm going to get thrown to the four winds, this isn't the worst place to start. Yggdrasil actually seems to have the same view of the stars as Earth, which means technically I was pretty close to home? Also, things aligned pretty well with Bronze Age technology and society, so it wasn't 100% culture shock. Well, you know, except for all the magic and stuff flying around.

  Hospitality was pretty decent: all the local tribes were set up as "families," with a Patriarch at the head of each (male or female) and their followers referred to as children or siblings. Apparently loyalty within that system is a big deal around here, to the point that the success of peace negotiations can rest on that.

  Then there are the Einherjar: straight-up magic using warriors. You don't want to mess with them, but as long as you're not on the receiving end of their attacks, they're amazing to watch in battle.

  Best thing about Yggdrasil? Amazing reception. Data comes through like you're just sitting next to your router no matter where you go. Phone calls are a little tougher, though... you have to be near some kind of magic mirror to make it work. Which is fine if you've got nowhere to go. But, if someone had a loved one back home and had to keep leaving their base and knowing they couldn't call, I imagine that'd make them crazy after a while.

  Worth the Trip?: The good news is that with a few web searches and some skilled friends, you can survive the primitive nature of Yggdrasil with some familiar creature comforts. (And then they get a new skill set!) Downside is, no matter how nice people are, if you're living anywhere with anything like society, you're probably about to be in a war zone.

  Cross Reverie

  Okay, this one was a little weird. I swear I've seen this game around online (I'm more a Fate/GO girl myself), and pretty much everything I saw when I came through here matched up with the game. Same landscape, same types of people, and basically enough going on where if you know the game you can get around like nobody's business.

  Here's the thing: everyone is super low-level.

  Like, initially I was completely ready to believe I'd ended up inside a game. It wouldn't be the weirdest thing that happened to me on this trip. But everyone's "levels," even the really capable fighters were down in the teens. Then again, I guess when you're talking real-world adventuring, you're not going to spend several hours a day beating up monsters just to ding a higher level.

  Interestingly, a lot of the ladies around here don't... wear a lot of clothes? I felt weirdly overdressed a lot of the time. That's not a fast rule, but it was not uncommon to see lower- and higher-cut outfits in fashion. (Take note and... I guess don't visit when it's cold?)

  Worth the Trip?: If you're a gamer, you'll feel right at home. Things tend to function on game logic, but at a more "human" level. Just don't expect in-game creature comforts like teleportation. Though, if you're looking for actual straight-up game stuff...

  Sword Art Online

  There we go. No fuss, no messing, no wondering what translates to what. This is a game. You're in a game. Welcome to an RPG that you actually, like, do.

I'm pretty down with that. I like swords, I like adventure, and being able to do raids and quests without having to worry about spinning the camera around. Extra bonus? Your fellow adventurers are from the same world as you. So less culture shock, less having to explain your bad references in conversation. Overall a lot more welcoming. Plus, it's gorgeous there—exactly what you'd imagine a fantasy world to be, with all the cool clothes and critters included.

  There is one major down side, though... transportation out of there is not. Easy. And I don't mean like "flights are expensive" or "there's only one bus route." I mean like "you have to fight your way up a giant tower and not die and that might not even work." So not (and I speak from experience here) the best stop for a multi-stop trip where time is of the essence.

  Worth the Trip?: Really depends how into it you are. If this is somewhere you specifically want to go, yes. If you have other plans in the next, like... rest of your life? Plan with care.

  Disboard

  I mean... I'm sure it's just a coincidence that so many of the places I ended up in seem to have gaming themes to them. Maybe our world is the odd one out?

  The world of Disboard is a dream come true if you're one of two things: an adept gamer or a flawless cheater. If you are neither of those things, though, you might have a bad time. Disboard functions on games in pretty much any way you can think of. Disputes on anything from rulership of a country to whether you're about to get robbed are handled via bets and competitions. And it could be anything, from a hand of poker to God-tier shiritori.

  If you're crazy lucky or crazy smart, you'll probably rock Disboard within hours. But if you've got my kind of luck?

  It might be best to leave the gaming to the pros.

  Worth the Trip?: Even if you're a garbage-tier gamer, Disboard is really beautiful. So you can at least take in the sights and do your best to stay out of trouble.

  The Hidden Realm

  The first thing you're told about traveling in other dimensions is not to eat the food. But you know what? I'm already in too deep. Might as well enjoy myself.

  The Hidden Realm is that mysterious place where gods and demons live—and when you have a realm of gods and demons, what do you need? Come on, you've watched enough anime to know this... that's right. An inn. And inns need food. Sadly, the Tenjin'ya has some pretty boring food in its main restaurant.

  But turn a few corners and go around the back of the property, and you will find the best little Japanese/spirit fusion restaurant. Seriously, it's crazy good. And it's run by a human girl who learned how to cook for spirits, so you know you're getting quality.

  Worth the Trip?: Completely. I mean, okay. Whether or not the spirits will be nice to you really depends on their personalities, so you might meet a few jerks. But that food.

The Kingdom of Belfast

  Belfast is part of a larger world that's accessible in one of two ways: you can either cross dimensions, or you can, uh... die. I highly recommend the first one if you have any sort of choice in the matter.

  That said, dying and being reborn in this world does apparently net you some profits. There's been a case where the person reborn here was actually able to use all seven facets of the world's magic. (For reference, you're usually going to run into people who can use one or two at best.) That's going to make you popular... especially with the ladies, apparently.

  Added bonus? Finally got reception again! This is another place where, if you've got any smart devices, you can make use of them once again. I'm not entirely sure what roaming charges are here and elsewhere... frankly, I've been too afraid to look.

  Worth the Trip?: With good reception, plenty of magic to go around, and some frankly adorable fashions going on? I'll give it a thumbs up.

  El-Hazard

  And so we come (maybe?) to the end of my journey. I hope. I think. With a stop in El-Hazard, a world that's equal parts ancient tech and Arabian Nights culture. And, you know, I kind of dig it. Beautiful scenery, really cool magic and machines, and...

  Bugs? Oh. Yeah. I forgot. There's literally an entire nation of giant bug people. Called Bugrom. They also might be a little at war with the humans here, and their might be some doomsday items scattered around.

  But I mean besides that, it's actually pretty fun. Lots of room to wander and explore, a variety of landscapes, interesting people... and bugs.

Worth the Trip?: Depends how you feel about giant insects and ancient biomechanical creatures — conditional yes.

  If you find yourself in another world (whether on purpose or through a completely honest and understandable accident Nate), stay smart. Bring a solar-powered charger. Be prepared to rule at least one kingdom or tribe while you're there. Look for sad girls with glowing necklaces, because they tend to know what's going on—and whatever you do... try not to touch anything. [EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm only okay with Kara missing the cafe coverage because she brought souvenir snacks. We good.]

-----

Kara Dennison is responsible for multiple webcomics, and is half the creative team behind the OEL light novel series Owl's Flower. She blogs at karadennison.com and tweets @RubyCosmos. Her latest book, Black Archive #21 – Heaven Sent, is currently available from Obverse Books.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[shadowofthelamp]

It’s difficult to really pin down the moment that I realized I wasn’t straight. In many stories I’ve seen, people either always knew, or had a lightning moment when they saw someone that just lit up their heart and they know for certain that they’re attracted to people of the same gender as them.

I didn’t have that.

In fact, I didn’t have much of anything, as my questions came over months and months of wondering.

But I did have a moment when I realized that things might be okay if they turned towards something not the norm.

My best friend from first through fifth grade had a crush on a different boy every month. She’d gush about his hair, his eyes, his voice, his tetherball skills. I’d doodle on the other side of her giant sketchpad and nod politely, wondering when we could go back to playing out our grand tales through My Little Ponies or Webkinz. She’d always pester me if I’d found anyone, but I always told her ‘not yet’.

She asked, once. “You think you… y’know… like girls?”

I shrugged, twirling the string of my hoodie between two sweaty fingers. Her room was always too hot. “I’unno. I don’t think I really like much of anybody.”

She nodded sagely, two months younger but more worldly and wise. “Well, they always know, so probably not. You’ll find a guy someday. How about you just write down what you like, and I’ll draw you one?”

I listed out as much as I could think of, and it wasn’t until years later I realized she’d drawn a guy version of Ginny Weasley.

Media, and in particular fiction, needs representation. Representation of people of every race, gender, sexuality, and mental illness. Not just queer-coding for the sake of grabbing queer watchers while simultaneously ridiculing them for expecting to be treated like people, but actually treating queer couples the same as straight ones.

On March 15th, 2015, the children’s show Steven Universe revealed that one of the main characters, Garnet, was a fusion of two women. In the victory song when she’s allowed to reunite, she is described as stable, a conversation, and, as her song went, ‘made of love’. I was sixteen, and had been wondering about myself due to another work of fiction, a webcomic called Homestuck with a cast of multiple queer characters, male and female. Seeing two women dance, kiss, and show joy at being allowed to be together- on a children’s show, that I would have killed to see as a child- made me break down into tears. My hands curled around the fabric on the bottom of the same style of hoodie I’d been wearing since fourth grade.

I was seeing myself for the first time, and I hadn’t even realized how much I’d been missing it. There’s something incredibly powerful, realizing that you’re not broken. Even if I’d realized earlier and had a supportive family, the gaping black hole of healthy queer relationships in the media I chose to consume- largely children’s fiction, as the positive messages helped me cope with my depression, but that’s a different story altogether- would crack something deep within me. “If no one wants to show people like me, calling them corruptive, evil, sexual, then what’s wrong with me? They can’t all be wrong, can they?”

My friend wasn’t trying to hurt me, by suggesting I couldn’t be gay because gay people ‘always knew’. She was in second grade, and simply had never seen anything suggesting otherwise. To her- and to me- gay people were sassy, flamboyant, and often very sexual, and I was none of those things.

I’m online very often, and I’ve seen dozens upon dozens of stories that mark the episode Jailbreak, where Garnet is revealed to be a healthy lesbian relationship, as a turning point in realizing their own sexuality. Garnet is powerful, strong, the leader of the team- and gay. If I’d had a Garnet in my life, at age five or eight or fourteen, then I may have not felt empty. I might not have forced myself to create interest in boys that I knew deep down I didn’t care for, just in an attempt to feel like I wasn’t ‘wrong.’

Steven Universe was a godsend to me, and I can only hope that it will inspire the next generation of kids to be confident in who they are.

We’re made of love, and it’s stronger than your ignorance and hate.

As we talked about with Alison Bechtel and the urge to find connections between her father and her, and how he might have fared if he'd lived a few more years, connecting her story with his, I like thinking that a lot of the people who saw and were impacted by Jailbreak are all connected in some small way. I know that I was affected that night, listening to Garnet sing about how because of her love she was stronger and better than the people that opposed and tried to separate her parts. I don't know if I cried then, although I certainly did later when I realized how important it was to me. 

The first three times I saw the scene of her parts racing towards each other, I rewound it over and over. Surely they couldn't have inserted that small kiss sound effect. Surely they were just close friends. This was a kid's show, the only media I'd seen queer people like me in that didn't end in disaster before now was a webcomic made for older teens with blood and cussing. But there she was, with a song proclaiming that "You're never going to stop what we made together, we are going to stay like this forever... I am made of love, and this is who I am." 

This relates to gender in that if gay and bi characters are rare, lesbians tend to be even more so. Lesbians are reduced to sex dolls or tragic stories that should have gone out of date fifty years ago. We're told that our experiences are 'basically the same as gay guys' and that we should be happy that gay guys are getting representation because clearly, that's all gay people, right?

On page 203 of Fun Home, Alison picked up "Word is Out", a transcript of a documentary interviewing gay men and women. That was her moment. Like me, she didn't know that she was gay as a child, just that there was something about her that was off. Different. Queer, to use both meanings of the word.

Queer is an interesting word. I've used lesbian for the past two years, until the past few months. I feel that it unites me with the people who've come before. 

I don't understand the struggle of everyone, and I don't imagine I ever can, but I being part of a wider community is something that's become important as I try to find myself beyond just simple labels.

[cromulentbookreview]

TumblTURN

Thank God for Tumblr. Seriously, Tumblr is the best. used to think I was alone in my love for AMC’s Turn: Washington’s Spies. Then I discovered Tumblr. Thank you, Tumblr.

I wish I had known about the Tumblr Turn fandom when I first started watching the show - definitely would’ve felt less alone. Since we are now in the final season of Turn, I wanted to give something back to the Tumblr fandom that has sustained me. As I am a cromulent book reviewer / future librarian / future reader’s adviser, I figured I’d gather up a list of books, TV shows and other media for my fellow Turncoats to read/watch/enjoy during the long wait between episodes. And what will be the even longer period after this season ends, when we will have no more Turn at all.

Also: Fourth of July, so it’s a great day to binge on Turn.

Before I start with a list of recommendations, though, I gotta have a Turn gif party to show off all the things I love about Turn. Because screw historical accuracy, Anna and Major Hewlett belong together (damn it, Burn Gorman, you’d better come back this season! Even if it’s just for one episode! Even if it’s just for one scene. Just one scene, that’s all I need!), 

But let me just introduce you to some of the people of Turn: there’s Abe. He is a terrible spy,

Mary is a spy grand-master,

 Robert Townsend spies for ten minutes, is best spy ever,

 and Caleb shaved off his beard for Abe, that ungrateful shite! 

Look at that beautiful beard.

Ben Tallmadge’s pants could stand to be a little tighter...

And would it be so hard for them to bring Major Andre back from the dead? Come on, he was pretty...

Simcoe is evil for the sake of evil,

(and we love him for it),

Meanwhile, Abigail is done with all this BS,

And Benedict Arnold is a whiny little bitch, nothing new there. Good job, guy-whose-name-is-now-synonymous-with-treason. 

Peggy is seriously questioning her life choices.

And, of course:

Annalett forever, goddamn it!

Sorry, but I ship them so hard. Probably one of my favorite ships of all time. I will go down with this ship. Suck it, history, I’ve got my ship.

OK! On to the books and things Turn fans can...uh...turn to when they run out of Turn. 

To everything, turn, turn turn...

Uhm, I mean..

I didn’t want to just stop at readalikes, though. I watch a lot of television, so I included some watchalikes as well. But, since I deal primarily with books, there will be some bias toward books. Also a bias towards fiction, because...well, I like fiction. I’ve lumped all the fiction together, adult, romance, children’s, middle-grade, YA, genre, etc. etc. 

FICTION

For full disclosure I will say I have not read all of these. I’ve read only a few (slow reader), but using my librarian skills, I’ve rustled up some titles that may appeal to Turn fans. If they end up not appealing to you...uhm...sorry?

Anyway:

Any of the Revolutionary War Books by Ann Rinaldi. This includes:

Time Enough for Drums

The Secret of Sarah Revere

Or Give Me Death

Hang A Thousand Trees with Ribbons

Finishing Becca

Cast Two Shadows

A Ride Into Morning

The Fifth of March

Wolf By The Ears

I swear I’ve read at least one of these at some point, but I really can’t remember. Based on the descriptions, though, they sound like they’d be a great fix for the pining Turn fan.

Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes 

Or, the first thing my brain thinks of when I see the name Johnny Tremain:

Hee.

Redcoat and The Fort by Bernard Cornwell

I’ve read Redcoat during a prior Turn-related-book-binge, and it was OK, but not really my thing. It might be your thing, though, so give it a chance.

Nathan Hale’s Hazardous Tales: One Dead Spy by Nathan Hale

(Not the real Nathan Hale)

A graphic novel version of the story of Nathan Hale. I highly recommend all of the Nathan Hale’s Hazardous Tales books, as they manage to cover some pretty heavy topics in US history with a mixture of absolute seriousness, historical accuracy, and humor. You’ll find them shelved in middle grade, but hey, I’m an adult and I think they’re great.

Seeds of America series by Laurie Halse Anderson

The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, Traitor to the Nation series by M.T. Anderson

The Spy , The Pilot and Lionel Lincoln by James Fenimore Cooper

Renegades of the American Revolution by Donna Thorland

In Gallant Company, book 5 of the Richard Bilotho novels by Alexander Kent.  Set during the Revolution if you’re in the mood for some nautical fiction told from the Tory perspective. I’m really big into nautical fiction for some reason.

Just Jane: A Daughter of England Caught in the Struggle of the American Revolution by William Lavender

I’m currently reading this one right now. It’s OK, not stellar - the writing style seems more geared toward middle grade than YA.

Soldier's Secret: The Story of Deborah Sampson by Sheila Solomon Klass

Sophia’s War and The Fighting Ground by Avi

Woods Runner by Gary Paulsen

The Scent of Death by Andrew Taylor

Revolutionary War + Murder Mystery! Long, though.

The Traitor's Wife: The Woman Behind Benedict Arnold and the Plan to Betray America  by Alison Pataki

The Winter of Red Snow: The Revolutionary War Diary of Abigail Jane Stewart, Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, 1777 by Kristiana Gregory

Yeah I have a soft spot in my heart for the Dear America books. Read them a lot when I was in middle school. So...recommended for middle grade readers as an intro to history via fiction

Alex & Eliza by Melissa De La Cruz

Or: Damn you, Lin-Manuel Miranda.

WEBCOMICS

The Dreamer, by Laura Innes

Highly, highly highly recommend for Turn fans pining for more Turn.

NONFICTION:

Washington's Spies: The Story of America's First Spy Ring by Alexander Rose

Or: the book the series is based on. “What do you mean you haven’t read the book the show is based on?” *Shove*

George Washington doesn’t have time for nonsense.

George Washington's Secret Six: The Spy Ring That Saved the American Revolution by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger

Common Sense by Thomas Paine

Wait, didn’t they make you read this in school??

1776 and John Adams, by David McCollough

Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell

Bunker Hill: A City, a Siege, a Revolution and Valiant Ambition: George Washington, Benedict Arnold, and the Fate of the American Revolution  by Nathaniel Philbrick

Liar, Temptress, Soldier, Spy: Four Women Undercover in the Civil War by Karen Abbott

If you’re interested in early-American spycraft and badass lady spies during the Civil War...

Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow

Don’t worry, Hamilton fans, I wasn’t going to leave this out.

Hamilton: The Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda

There, I hawked your book, can I please have Hamilton tickets?

Ok, so there’s a ton of great nonfiction about the Revolutionary War that I’m not mentioning here, but it’s getting late and this post is really long already...if you think something should be included, add it in a note or something.

TV

John Adams (HBO)

How have you not seen this?

Frontier (Netflix)

Khal Drogo is an 18th century Canadian fur trapper. Far too short at only six episodes, but a fun show all the same. Set earlier than Turn and in Canada, but...but...Khal Drogo.

Poldark (PBS Masterpiece Theatre)

Set during the same time period as Turn - begins when Ross Poldark is sent home after being wounded in America during the Revolution. Starring the most attractive dwarf from the Hobbit movies.

*broods broodingly*

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (BBC / BBC America)

Because I will hawk this series to whoever will listen. It’s Regency England...with magic! It’s fantastic. The book is 9,000,000,000 pages but it’s worth the time to read. Or, if you don’t have time, watch the series. It’s excellent. How will it help Turn fans? Uh...well, you can watch it, and find out.

The AMC Period Dramas, including: Hell on Wheels, The Son, Mad Men, Halt and Catch Fire and The Terror, which is coming soon, but not soon enough because I need it now, goddamn it. Anyway: AMC is like America’s BBC when it comes to period dramas. No other network can beat them. I highly highly recommend Hell on Wheels (it’s on Netflix!), it’s criminally underrated. Also: Anson Mount. Drool.

MOVIES

Honestly, my attention span is too shot for movies. If it’s longer than an hour my brain shuts down. Apart from the obvious Revolutionary War movie starring that racist Australian guy, if you guys have any recommendations, please let me know about them.

THEATRE

Hamilton

Come on, did you really think I’d leave that off this list? I wish I could see Hamilton someday...but I’m poor. I hear they might be doing Hamilton here in the Pacific Northwest and...oh, wait, as I typed that sentence, the tickets sold out. Even though they haven’t actually been officially announced or gone on sale, they’ve sold out. Dear Lin-Manuel Miranda: please just have a camera crew record a production of Hamilton and show it in theaters. That way everyone can see it. Like me. If anyone out there has Hamilton tickets they’d like to give to me...

Damn you, Lin-Manuel Miranda, you gorgeous genius. I bet you lived in a closet before Hamilton but now you live in a mansion...

...I think your great, please give me Hamilton tickets.

1776

There’s a movie version of this, but it’s the original Founding Father’s musical.

Also, apparently being a good violin player means you’re good at sex stuff? I honestly don’t know and I’ve been questioning that song ever since I first heard it.

The Devil’s Disciple by George Bernard Shaw

I hadn’t heard of this play until I started mining for Turn-related media. Sounds pretty good, though and the full text is available via wikisource (see link).

So that’s my massive list of Turn materials which might soothe us once the show is off the air. I am open to more suggestions. Seriously, give me more suggestions, I’m going to need a lot when the show’s over. Also, I need more Annalett fic, please.

Whiskey? Yes.

[angstylittlecatboy]

memories of my sprite comic nobody read

I'm not sure if I believe in the whole angel numbers thing anymore but I think they want me to reintroduce my sprite comic (saw 111 while thinking about it.) I just feel like talking about it, idk. I know nobody cares.

Barring a few standout strips I don't think Purrnout the Edgy Cat (covering my bases here, but the comic predates me meeting FP by two years, “edgy” refers to how stuff like Linkin Park and Shadow the Hedgehog is referred to as edgy) was a good comic, most of it's gags fall flat, the backgrounds and walking sprites were mostly ugly (if my more detail-oriented brother was downstairs he'd insist I do better,) and I could never get a story arc off the ground, but I only made it to kill the bore (in the description it said "updates whenever boredom strikes") and I had fun making it.

The idea was to be a sprite comic (believe me, I’d draw the comic if I were any good at drawing, but I learned my lesson from having DeviantArt) that was something of an affectionate parody of early 2000s sprite comics while avoiding a lot of the common complaints about them, also throwing in some punk/goth/emo culture. Specifically, all of it's characters were original, only one was a recolor (and his name was Recolor the Hedgehog, he was the deuteragonist and straight man, I planned to make him the only character who can't do cool superpower stuff for irony,) I didn't use backgrounds from Google Images, it didn't directly take place in the universe of something else (my idea was that it took place in a nonsense universe where every work of fiction is somehow canon, though I wanted to be pretty strict about seeing concepts and objects but never characters from other works, but other than showing Recolor losing rings, nothing ever came of it,) I tried not to mainly use reference or shock humor, and I tried to use a consistent sprite style for the characters and backgrounds (I confess to ripping effects.) I don't think it ever achieved parody of 00s sprite comics, I wanted to eventually make some stuff like DBZ-style sprite battles and teen melodrama, but I ended up making a gag-a-day strip mostly utilizing cringe comedy. At least, all the good or least bad strips are cringe comedy. I tried teen melodrama but it was mostly big lipped aligator moments that went nowhere, especially both aborted story arcs (though the latter was going to be less teen melodrama and more band melodrama.) If I reupload the comic, the arc comics won’t be reuploaded with the rest as I consider them non-canon since neither got past two strips and the first attempt would have honestly ruined the comic if it finished. I guess there were two continuous strips where Purrnout commited tax fraud (I think this predated the Yoshi meme) but I don’t see that as a story arc. Actually the first three comics were sorta a story arc but they mostly just introduced the main two, explained why Purrnout is living in an apartment (I think I needed to explain this as I intended it as a Chekrov’s Gun for a later story arc,) and made some obscure Green Day references. Maybe the arc comics could get re-added at a different place on the timeline if I felt like completing the arcs. A huge problem is that I didn’t make an outline for them tbh.

The style I settled on for the backgrounds and sprites was that of the Neo Geo Pocket Color. The panels were in either that system’s resolution or one close to it (they were tiny.) I ignored palette limitations, but so did most sprite comics.

I must admit that the title character is a self-insert fantasy to some extent, he was admittedly, like 16-year-old me but cooler. Well, not really cooler since the comic revolves around him being a loser, but he was an emancipated minor and a good punk/alt rock guitarist, both tying into my fantasies at the time, and he was a lonely emo teenager trying to not be mainstream. If I brought the comic back, I’d continue to write Purrnout as 16YO me and not as 18YO me. I’m still a loser, but my spiritual beliefs, dedication to kindness, and inconsistent attitudes towards life WOULD NOT mesh with the character. Purrnout cannot have reverence to things that control the world or talk about peace and love, he needs to be angry at the world and be a bit of a deliberately insensitive asshole to the people he doesn’t like. Sort of a much less extreme version of an incel (I identified as such at the time.) Wouldn’t call him a Mary Sue, though it’s not really my call to make since I’m the author and this is the only creative work of mine that can kinda be considered “completed” that I’m still fond of in a way. Maybe I’ll cringe someday, but not today.

There’s not much to say about Recolor the Hedgehog, he’s very much a pretty normal guy other than having nerdy interests and Purrnout as a best friend. He more or less exists to be a straight man. He was a composite of my brother and an ex-friend.

I might as well mention the comic’s other non-antagonist character since I’ve already talked about both Purrnout and Recolor. Love the Golden Retriever, a rich, smart, pretty normie girl with a Pollyanna viewpoint, a wish to heal people like Purrnout, and a crush on Recolor. She was based on a variety of girls who tried to become my friend out of pity and were nice enough but we didn’t connect. Purrnout finds her annoying, while she considers Purrnout a friend. I also introduced another one, but she was part of the first aborted attempt at an arc. 

A third main character was planned as well, but she was supposed to be introduced in a story arc that I planned but never even tried to start. She wouldn’t make it into the comic if I start it up again, at least not without heavy modification, as I eventually met someone who was very similar to the character I had in mind. So similar that adding them now would look creepy.

The comic’s most common antagonist was a cat named Muffin. He was basically Chad Thundercock, probably the most shallow character in a comic that wasn’t long enough to get deep. I also introduced another character intended as an antagonist in an admittedly-hamfisted way named Felicity the Once-Golden Retriever, Love’s best friend who used to be a highly optimistic normie with a promising modelling career before Muffin cheated on her, and then became an angsty anti-society rebel who thinks cutting her hair and dying her fur darker makes her ugly. She hated Purrnout because she felt that Purrnout hadn’t suffered like she had and is moping for no reason, which annoys her. I think I was trying to do a straw feminist character minus the actual feminism, but don’t quote me on that. I had a third antagonist that I wanted to introduce, my favorite antagonist made for the comic actually, and he already cameoed, but I never ended up writing him. Maybe if I had my PC through Summer/Fall 2018 I would’ve made more (the last one was Spring 2018.)

But anyway, it doesn’t really matter. My brother was the only person who really read Purrnout, but I do remember him getting a chuckle out of it. I posted it on Tumblr (now deleted) and I got one follower, who was likely a bot. I never posted a link to it on my main Tumblr, partially because I wanted to see it gain an organic audience first (it didn’t lol) and partially because I was scared of it being seen as cringe. You may have come across it if you browsed the “sprite comic” tag on here. I know Tumblr is a bad place to host webcomics (at least if it’s the only place you’re hosting the webcomic) but it’s free, I was familiar with it, and I wasn’t making any plans to profit off of or take the comic seriously (it ran Summer 2016 - Spring 2018 and only had twenty strips.)

I’m still hesitant to bring back the comic because I honestly want to use the universe (most of it, obviously modifications would need to be made) for a video game idea I have, though that would be 10+ years in the future if I ever have credibility as a game developer since I couldn’t see myself doing that one without a team (”3D hack n’ slash platformer” is a lot harder than “2D JRPG.”) Hell, I originally made the sprite for a Zelda II clone I wanted to make with Purrnout using side mounted guns (because Shadow the Edgehog,) but for some reason, be it laziness (not wanting to re-learn Game Maker) or wanting to use the character for something more character driven, I ended up making a sprite comic instead. Another route I could do is redesigning and renaming Recolor, and removing all sprites ripped from other games, but I’m extremely hesitant to mess with Recolor’s design since his worried face is a running gag and if I did continue I’d still want to eventually make jokes that don’t work without him being a Sonic recolor.

Also, it wasn’t a furry webcomic, at least not entirely. “pet sized” (cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, etc.) characters would stand on fours while characters of much smaller or much larger stature (cows, hedgehogs,) than that would be anthropomorphic.

[mathematicianadda]

My Favorite Math Comic That Isn’t a Math Comic

This is not to speak ill of the legendary xkcd or SMBC. But my current favorite nerdy math comic began in the mid-1990s, before the webcomic boom. You probably know it, and you probably don’t think of as a math comic at all:

Rhymes with Orange, by Hilary Price.

Where Doonesbury bites, Dilbert groans, and Peanuts waxes philosophical, Rhymes with Orange has a lighter touch. The gags come out of nowhere, like tickling fingers.

I wasn’t thinking about math when I picked up a copy of the first collected volume (published back in 1997). But then I ran into this pretty great surface area joke:

That got me seeking more. And, with the help of Price’s admirably searchable website, I found the gallery that follows – it turns out that math is a topic she has circled back to time and again over the years.

From December 17, 1997:

(This contradicts the famous “half plus seven” rule, whereby the youngest partner a 34-year-old can consider is half 34, plus 7. In other words, 24. Price’s model looks more complicated, but may have more empirical validity.)

From May 9, 2000:

(Sigh.)

From February 17, 2013:

(I don’t know why I find this so funny, but I find it SO FUNNY.)

From August 22, 2011:

(Moore’s Law for stones?)

From January 17, 2015:

(I hope to make this order in a restaurant someday.)

From October 26, 2017:

(I assume that’s division rather than a cube root. Anyway, it’s a great gag.)

From October 17, 2013:

(True facts! Well, not about Rome’s fall – as I understand it lead pipes and bureaucratic sprawl were involved – but about the disadvantages of Roman numerals, and the efficiencies that led to the adoption of our own system!)

From December 5, 2011:

(I’ve heard tell of a problem like this: so many variables that they exhausted the English and Greek alphabets, and had to summon emergency back-ups from Hebrew.)

From October 2, 2010:

(Sounds persuasive to me.)

From April 3, 2008:

(Totally using this next time I teach inverse relationships.)

And finally, from February 17, 2010, by guest cartoonist Mo Willems:

**

To recap: how does Price find humor in math? In any number of ways. I find their variety instructive:

Satirizing its inscrutability (as in the “girl years” and “run out of letters” gags);

Playfully misapplying its concepts (“only $0.79 an ounce”; “60/40 split pea”);

Drawing unexpected parallels (“more power in this little abacus”);

Lamenting the experience of math education (“now we are going to learn percentages”; “no relying on the wand”);

Playing the logical strictures of math against the illogic of emotion (“isosceles”; “couch-to-door ratio”).

Some of these take the stance of an outsider, to whom math is a blur. Others feel like jokes any math insider might make.

What I appreciate most is the coexistence, the blending, of those two perspectives. It suggests that this thing called mathematics – this exalted, despised, exoticized subject – is perhaps a human activity like any other. It’s part of our common inheritance, along with language and color and humor.

Of course, I’m sure Price intends no such grand statement through her mathematical cartoons – which is exactly why I love ’em.

from Math with Bad Drawings http://bit.ly/2GhIjZn from Blogger http://bit.ly/2WZmraw

[blakedehart]

Re-evaluating My Goals For 2017

We’re more than halfway through 2017, so I thought it would the perfect time to share the re-evaluation of my goals for the year. At the start of the year, I assessed how I finished 2016 and where I wanted to go from there. I set my 2017 goals to work towards becoming a better storyteller, illustrator, and overall, better person.

Here is that list.

Focus on Finishing Personal Projects, Rather Than Getting Stuck in Perfection & Over Analyzing

Consistently Keep My Blog  

Write Every Day

Share a blog post every Thursday

 Create a Webcomic  

Focus on finishing one page at a time     

Finish One Page Per Month

Share progress updates on the blog

Draw Every Day

Draw 100 Cycles  

Read at least One Factual/Historical Event Book Per Month

Stay Up-To-Date on World Events

 Analysis of Original 2017 Goals

How well have I held up to those goals? I believe I started the year out strong, working on illustration projects, growing as an artist, and continuing my career as a graphic designer. Looking back thus far, I wish I would have included my design career and an illustration project that I’ve been working on. For example, I spent a lot of time illustrating my first children’s book this year.

 Illustrating a Children’s Book

I partnered with a coworker/friend from my previous full-time job to illustrate a story she wrote called Maggie’s New Home. It’s a sweet story about a dog moving to a new place, meeting new friends, and learning to feel at home in her new environment. As an illustrator, it challenged me greatly. We both had a rough vision of how the book might look. Internally, I didn’t feel I had enough mileage to complete the task but I remember someone once said, “Don’t Wait Until You’re Ready”. So I decided to take on the project. It ended up being an amazing learning experience of what it takes to be a professional illustrator and showed me areas where I need to improve to become the best visual storyteller. If you’re interested in buying a copy of my first published work, it’s available on Amazon for 10.99. If you decided to get the book and enjoy it, please leave a review.

When it comes to personal projects, I’ve held up well too. I completed a smaller project and kept my daily tasks. However, I had to break my commitment to a larger comic project that was going to take most of the year to finish. I broke the commitment, not because of how long it was going to take, but because I didn’t feel the story aligned with my vision as a storyteller. As the story lost its purpose, my interest and joy for it began to wane. How can I expect someone else to enjoy my work if I don’t enjoy it? The act of working on it is a different story. There will always come a time when your project gets difficult and that’s when you’ll find yourself growing the most.

 Blogging.

I started off the year okay. I had several blog posts written and shared them somewhat consistently for two months until my schedule flew out of order after pulling an all-nighter on a project for the first time in years. I was trying to rebalance my schedule for most of May. In June I had a better handle on my schedule again. However, I was focusing on my comic, personal writing, and considering vlogging the process of creating my comic. I still wasn’t satisfied with the way things were going so I took the Seanwes course 30-Days to Better Writing to get me back on track. I finished July with a clearer vision of the direction I wanted to go as a designer, illustrator, and storyteller. As for my blog, I was planning to get back into doing it on a consistent schedule similar to what I did early on. I felt like that was too formulaic and not how I wanted to share my work-in-progress. I will elaborate on it more soon.

 Create a Webcomic.

I had been working on the script and started thumbnailing a comic I titled Aster since May 2016. The story got much better than where it started and I was looking forward to having it see the light of day until I got this feeling that it wasn’t a story I wanted to tell. Maybe someday I will want to tell it. That being said, from January 2017 to July 2017 I was consistently working on either the script, character design, or thumbnails for this, with the exception of May. I planned to have a few pages done by the end of August to start sharing it online. I was considering sharing it on Webtoons or Tumblr, in addition to my website.

I also planned to share the progress on my blog until I started sharing time-lapse videos of my warmups and smaller illustration projects. That’s when I thought, wouldn’t it be better to vlog the progress of making my comic by taking on the 100 Days of Making Comics Challenge? That turned out to be a whole other animal. I thought I needed to have my YouTube Channel consistently branded from the channel page to my video intro and outro, and video featured images. That was easy enough, but recording and editing the videos was where I got tripped up. Recording and editing other people came much more naturally to me than looking at myself, hearing my own voice, or keeping the videos concise and engaging. When I couldn’t do that I decided to focus on what I could do which was making the comic. One day I’ll be up for the challenge again, but for now, I'm going to blog my progress and work on the comic.

After reevaluating my goals as a storyteller I found my goals aligning with another story that I had been thinking about and researching for since February. Since then I’ve written a twelve-page script. I’m nearly done thumbnailing it and working on character designs. By the time you’re reading this I should be done with all of those and move onto tight pencils and inking. I also have notes for how I want the protagonist to grow and where I believe his story is going. I’m looking forward to sharing my concept art and work in progress when I’m closer to sharing the introduction to this story.

 Draw Every Day.

When I was in the thick of it I attribute my drawing every day to having a warm-up session prior to working on any illustration projects for myself or clients. My most consistent warm-ups have been figure drawing, however, I like to practice shapes, lines, dimension, and perspective too. I would also record my warm-up sessions and sometimes the process of working on actual projects. That is something I plan to start doing again. Today I am still making an effort to draw every day despite not always achieving that goal. A few things I would attribute to helping me keep this goal is drawing in a sketchbook instead of always on my pen display. There’s something about touching a pencil to paper that can’t be replicated digitally. In addition to that, I would say taking an illustration course or doing master studies also challenges me to draw every day. Taking courses helps you get a new perspective on the way you approach your composition or characters. Master studies allows me to zero in on the nuances of the art I like and understand how I can incorporate some of those things into my own art. When it comes down to it, you have to do whatever it takes to get you drawing every day by using deliberate practices to grow as an artist, while having fun while doing it.

 Read at least One Factual/Historical Event Book Per Month

I never got started with this. I set the goal but neglected to clearly define a plan of action. I didn’t outline a specific moment in history that I wanted to learn more about. Whenever I would go to the bookstore or look online, I would be paralyzed with indecision. Looking back on those times, I think using this goal as an opportunity to dig deeper into researching past events, people, and places similar to the stories I'm writing is be the best way to take action on this goal. 

 Stay Up-To-Date on World Events

This year I feel like I’ve watched the news more than ever. The political climate of the US and its international relations is in a place I didn’t imagine ever seeing. I believe everything will work out for the best with everyone taking a stand in the way they find most effective. Outside of the political chaos, there seems to be just as much on the ground locally. So much senseless crime. That being said, the news always makes sure to have a handful of sweet neighborhood features about good things going on, a ray of sunshine amongst dark clouds. It’s been refreshing to make more of an effort to watch the news, especially when it comes to social issues related to inequalities and seeing people come together in hope of making a change. I don’t know that I’m any more informed about world news by watching it on tv versus visiting the news station websites. Either way, its good to stay informed.

I started writing this blog post prior to Hurricane Harvey hitting. Instead of editing what I wrote above I decided to add onto it. The devastation of a catastrophe like a hurricane is unbelievable. It’s been amazing to see people coming together to selflessly help one another. The way people and news stations have been able to use today’s technology to aid in the search and rescue efforts is remarkable. Too often people use technology for mindless consumption, isolating themselves from real human interaction or to tear one another down. Thank God, that people are coming together in unity for the greater good.

 My Current 2017 Goals

Make a Comic

Continue Blogging

Get a Full-Time Design Job

Continue Learning

Before writing this blog post I had been doing a lot of self-reflection during my morning writing on how to move forward with the goals above. During this re-evaluation, I based the evolution of my goals on where I want to be as a person, graphic designer, artist and a storyteller. I also wanted to simplify the list. That being said, just because something isn’t on my list doesn’t mean I won’t be doing it anymore unless I actually state that I won’t be doing it.

 Goal No. 01: Make a Comic

I’m still making a comic, however, I have a solid idea of the stories I believe I need to tell at this point in my life. Before I was taking every idea I had that seemed like it would be interesting and somewhat meaningful. Whereas now, I want to focus more on capturing honesty through the growth and struggles of the protagonist's character and the world around them. I feel like I was trying to do this before but I was trying to force it and it came off as unrealistic. People would tell me the stories had heart, but something was missing. It was as if I was trying to tell someone else's story. In doing that, I made the story unrelatable even for myself. I had written a twenty-something page script for my comic, ASTER, but I didn’t know where to go from there. I had taken the character to a place I had never been. Sometimes I believe that is when I needed to do more research and ideation because I didn’t know my character Aster well enough to know what she would realistically do next. Since I’ve made the decision to work on TJÖRN I feel more in touch with the character and where he’s headed. It’s almost like I’m writing about myself, except there’s a science fiction element to it.

One of the things that helped me get to that place is thinking about the comics and cartoons that had an impact on me. My favorite cartoon of all-time is Nickelodeon’s Doug so I did some research on the show and its creator, Jim Jinkins. I discovered that Doug was based on Jinkin's experiences growing up. He also viewed it essential that each episode contains a moral. On top of that, he wasn’t just the story guy he was actually the illustrator behind the characters original designs and that the show was also inspired by Peanuts. I also felt a connection to Jinkin's theme for the series, “a world where everyone took honesty seriously."

 Goal No. 02: Continue Blogging

I’m going to continue writing my blog, however, I want to rethink how I’m approaching it. I want to approach my blog as a journal and document what I’m learning through doing my projects, daily sketching, and my independent art studies. I’ve thought about this before, especially when I first saw the Gary Vee video, "Document, Don't Create", last year. As I was writing this post he released a follow-up video on how to start documenting. Both of the videos are below. (Forewarning, Gary Vee swears a lot.)

When I first considered blogging, everyone I was following recommended creating a catalog of blog posts before I got started. In theory that sounds great. It will help you save time and stay consistent, especially for a large company, but it seems a bit insincere and calculated for an individual. I believe I just need to schedule a short chunk of time, 10 to 20 minutes, to grab a few sketches or finished pieces from a project or course I’m taking and write a few paragraphs about what I learned in the process. Let me know if that sounds interesting to you?

 Goal No. 03: Get a Full-Time Design Job

I wasn’t sure how to approach this one. I didn’t put it on my original goals list. It was just something I knew I needed to do. At the beginning of 2017, my wife and I left our full-time jobs in Northeast Ohio to move back to Southern California to be closer to our family here. We had been looking for jobs here for over a year and had some promising opportunities. However, it seemed like most companies and organizations wanted someone already here. I figure companies are thinking, why go through the process of tests and interviews with someone from out of state when there is an overabundance of experienced people right here? So we saved up enough money to be okay for a year while living with my in-laws and started looking for jobs when we got here. The experience has been mostly good so far and a great learning experience. The first few months we were riding the high of our new adventure and I have some client work as a self-employed designer. During the summer my wife was hired at an awesome place where she’s passionate about the work they’re doing, loves her co-workers and the work environment.

My search is still in progress. I’ve had some opportunities that seemed like a good fit but they didn’t work out. From the beginning of my search to now, I’ve relearned a few important lessons and learned some things I feel I should have known already.

Be Selective What I mean by this is to focus on places that seem like you would be a good fit. Even when I was applying to places that I wasn’t particularly interested or seemed like a good fit for me, I customized my resume and coverletter to the specific needs of the company and did my best to appear interested in the position. However, if my application ever got in front of a real person it probably didn’t take them long to see through it or my portfolio website to decide that my work and overall personality wasn’t a good fit for them.

Communicate When you find those places that you believe would be a good fit for you, the next step is to communicate with them outside of the job application form before applying. See if you have a mutual friend to someone in the company to connect you to HR or an Art Director. Let them know just how interested you are in the position, the company's mission, vision, and products or services. Almost like a prologue to your coverletter.

Simplify To be more specific, by simplifying, I mean putting less time and attention on side projects, passion projects, and courses that aren’t helping you get towards your goal of getting a job in the certain field or industry. It also depends on what your day looks like, are you working somewhere full-time already and have limited evening time or working part-time and have more time to spare? Either way, you need to consider the amount of time you’re putting into everything you’re doing.

Prior to my recent job hunting, I’ve heard and read advice similar on several blogs, podcasts, and YouTube videos. However, I took it with a grain of salt because it wasn't something I had to do in the past. I’ve been implementing some of these tactics during my 2017 job hunt but the results have been minimal so I’ve decided to lean into the advice even more than I have been. If anyone is interested in hearing how it goes, let me know and I’ll do a follow-up blog when I’m on the other side.

 Goal No. 04: Continue Learning

In the design and illustration work that I’m doing, I’ll be growing and learning from experience. However, I also need to make sure that I incorporate time for deliberate practice and learning into my schedule. Sometimes that looks like doing master studies or drawing from life, while other times it will be taking a course or focusing on a single thing that I need to improve. After all, Bruce Lee said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times”. 

I don’t think I’m leaving anything out and this is already a long post so I’m going to bring it to a close. This will be the last post written in a long-form style. It’s still going to take time to put things together. However, I’m looking forward to simply documenting what I’m making rather than focusing on creating content and writing something that has to be meaningful.

- Blake