#i might get on pc not mobile so i can stick it under a readmore for you

[leadendeath]

after i get a computer, apart from medical things the other thing i wanna save up for is… big maybe… a fursuit head base. i have tried more than once to sculpt a bovine, and i just cannot get my head around it (pun definitely intended)

i can’t draw cows well, and it seems to make sense that i cannot make them in 3D either.

(leadendeath lore moment: not being able to draw my own fursona is one of my reasons why i feel my drawing art skills are not up to my own standards anymore. why i’ve grown to see drawing as a chore. i’m getting no happy brain chemicals from the only thing i’ve ever been good at.

i have a progressing mental/neurological problem sure, i can’t help that, but i CAN help how bad i perceive my own art to be- i can remedy it by drawing more! getting better through practice, right?

…Well.

it’s been two+ years since i first made my sona and i really haven’t got much better at drawing him. i HAVE considered a different species, but i love minotaurs, and the aloneness and large but stoic nature of them is so… me inside. not on the outside, i’m really short lmao.

this is like an existential crisis i’m going through but like… an artistential crisis. great word i just invented.)