#i might edit this im very very tired rn so its probably not well written lol

[catominor]

🍩 and 💚 For Martinus, LFC, Poppae and Caecilia! (Excited to hear about their relationship to gender and sexuality by the framework of their society!)

🍩 - Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

martinus: i don't think he really has an arch-nemesis. even politically he's an opportunist, not really someone with strong convictions which would cause him to have a real enemy. rivals sure; and there's definitely people who dislike him, but it usually doesn't run both ways - martinus is very easygoing.

lfc: i'm sure he has one or more political ones (the dastardly populares...) but of my characters? poppaea absolutely... he dislikes her deeply. for no reason too she never did a damn thing to him... (well. the reason is that he's very jealous of her and sees her as a rival for martinus' attentions, though it's mostly subconscious. with a twinge of misogyny too i think. he def sees her as stupid, frivolous and silly)

(putting a cut here because this is so longg sorry...)

poppaea: she is probably the more likely out of her and her husband to make enemies. she will go to bat for him among the other senatorial wives... manipulate things if she can to make things difficult for those who dislike martinus, etc... of my characters i don't think she particularly likes lfc or caecilia honestly. mostly because they both dislike her for stupid reasons & she isn't down with that energy...

caecilia: honestly i think she has a pretty oppositional relationship with all of the other three here... she's certainly resentful of martinus because of his relationship with lfc, who she loved but who never loved her back in the same way. she doesn't like poppaea because she finds her personality irritating (though part of it i'm sure is lfc's opinions about her rubbing off on her a bit) (she also is perhaps a little attracted to her and that causes a bit of discomfort too...) and lfc well... that's a whole thing. she hates him. she loves him. they're old friends. she thinks about killing him at least once a week. you know how it is

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

ooh i love digging into this topic with roman ideas about sexuality and gender... yeahh !!!

martinus: he definitely has the more normative relationship with gender and sexuality between him and lfc, but it's not entirely cut and dry. he's always fit naturally very well into the masculine role, and so he has a confidence about his place in it that lets him be comfortable bending the rules a bit. which is to say, he's not insecure at all, and so he is really just being himself. he's certainly not the ascetic, luxury-spurning vision of a traditional roman man; he loves his purple outfits and sumptuous feasts, but he doesn't feel a necessity for luxury either. he is at heart a soldier, after all, and he's also perfectly happy in a military camp where nothing is all too fancy. as for sexuality, the joke i made about him being the roman version of straight (a bi top) pretty much sums it up. although he did experiment a little in his youth, he likes being in charge, as a roman man was expected to. he has a bit of a sadistic streak towards men. though he's more attracted to women than he is to men generally; he also has pretty 'normal' taste in roman terms; he likes chubby, pear shaped women and beautiful twinkish young men. though he's also not very picky, and has had plenty of exceptions to his usual taste. however, another thing that would have been viewed as a little bit unmasculine about him is the fact that he's very unrestrained in his appetites (sexual and otherwise). he fucks. a lot... more than is considered dignified for a roman man, and he's very unabashed about it.

lfc: his relationship with gender and sexuality is. a whole mess... he has massive issues with his own masculinity going back to his childhood. although he does conform well to some aspects of roman masculinity ideals (eg restraint, dignity, avoidance of excessive luxuries) he also lacks things from it (military career, good health). he struggles a lot with not fitting into the masculine role in terms of public life; he feels obligated to rigidly control his image and is terrified of being seen as effeminate. luckily for him, he isn't seen as effeminate by most, but merely strange. as for sexuality; this is where most of his insecurities come from. he is. odd. he never slept around; before martinus the only person he had even tried to sleep with was caecilia, and it didn't really get anywhere. (the reason for this is partly the fact that he is very very picky and partly the fact that he did not want to risk anyone finding out about... well.) he is very much only attracted to men; i'm not sure to what extent he knows this, but i think he does know it on some level. but that's not really the issue for him; the issue is more that his taste in men and the kind of relationships he desires are quite transgressive by roman standards and would indeed quickly get him labelled as effeminate. he's submissive (and also somewhat masochistic); if people knew this about him, it would certainly ruin his reputation. especially considering his stoic and mos-maiorum abiding image that he's so carefully built for himself. also: martinus is basically the platonic ideal of his taste in men. his type is just a martinus-style man basically....

poppaea: i don't think she fits all that well into the matrona role. she doesn't particularly like things like weaving or taking care of her kids, and prefers to leave the kids to nannies while she hangs out all day with her friends. she does love her children, it's just... well... 7 sons is a lot to deal with. she's very feminine, but in a way that i think most roman moralists would see as undesirable; they'd look at her and say 'women be shopping' in a disdainful tone. as for sexuality; honestly i'm not sure. i know she's very much in love with martinus, but aside from that i'm not sure what her tastes are, whether she likes women or only men, etc...

caecilia: she would have been an ideal roman matrona if she'd had a different husband. she doesn't always fit into the mold perfectly; but generally she has the restraint, dignity, and mostly the right kinds of hobbies to fit into the role. she very much wanted to be a mother, and although i think she was always disappointed that she never got any biological children, when they adopted quinctilianus it soothed the wound a little. she's very much involved in his life and in parenting him, and is. a much better parent than lfc is lol. as for sexuality: she is attracted to both men and women. her taste in men is very influenced by lfc i think; she likes beautiful waifish men etc... i don't think she really entirely realizes her attraction towards women, but it is definitely there.

[the-official-account]

A Dump of my last pre-s2 theories

(and probably my last unqueued post for the day goddamn.)

Originally written yesterday. Edits day of posting. This post builds of evidence not yet presented in cannon but that is public to build the theory. If you consider that spoilers, dni. But here’s the tea:

On june 6th 2022 I sent this doodle to the discord

[ID: a simple, scribbled ink four panel comic showing a person with a short afro working on a laptop and slowly leaning back in their chair, silently, for three panels as the shot slowly zooms on their face which lookis progressively more worried. The last panel shows a close up of their face as they say “I’m worried about Elio.]

in hindsight I don’t know why i had to draw it out but i did? Alongside this I sent the messages

“Part of me wants la catrina to be undeniably good so bad but the more I think about the "nobody tells you what possession feels like" bit from episode one the more nervous i get and then listening to the season two trailer MMMMMMMM me, knowing he's not gonna be okay: I hope he's okay”

to which samy reacted with a single server emoji of that dude smoking and sighing and i have thought about that fucking reaction EVERY DAY SINCE.

But the REAL kicker? this post

[ID: a red blurry zoom in of the words “elio in season 2″]

IT SAYS ELIO HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF GODS BEINGS PRAYED TO IN SEASON TWO. WHICH. WHAT THE FUCK? AS FAR AS WE FUCKING KNOW, EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO ORIGINALLY PRAYED TO LA CATRINA IS DEAD.

[ID: a meme reaction of a guy pointing to a red stringed, paper covered cork board, explaining a conspiracy.]

Anyways. Here’s where i start copying a lot from the discord so it’s more me being weird and less eloquent essay format.

La Catrina's WHOLE DEAL is that she's a blend between Christian and Nahuatl religion. And GUESS WHAT? THE SHORT STORY CONFIRMS THAT THE SAME IS TRUE ABOUT TALIA And the way the baron and la Catrina dance together? And their deeply worrying plan im the final trailer????? I dont have answers but I do have fear .

What does it meeeeean.........I mean clearly if Leo can be an angel while being anti crusade hope isn't lost but......okay this is a stretch but I wonder if there are crusade-approved....is missionaries the word? Like folks with the crusade, who's whole role in the system is to pray to Christian assimilated versions of dangerous gods to overpower past believers and try to control them. It's a STRETCH. But ??????

Shinji's Shinigami man fucker be stable. Shinji if it comes down to it pleeease pull through.

The Good...ish? news is that though the clip about Talia wanting to be a stripper instead of having to kill god (the funniest thing to say but queen shit) she says she HAS to kill god. Not HAD. So. Uhm. Based on structure shit, and stuff Samy mentioned I can't cite rn (understand that I am very tired and most of these rants happen in this same situation) about the show probably being about 3 seasons I think there's a pretty high chance that end of season 2 brings us up to speed with the narration timeline, because that's just a great opportunity there.

Which means that what I mentioned before about Shinji feeling unsafe mentioning where his family is still has a chance to come to change, so yay good. Elio refers to himself as the bane of crusaders or something along those lines, which means that BEFORE he fights god he's still doing pretty well so, hey, he probably won't get zalien god sucked again. Good, cool, chill.

Downside being we can't be absolutely sure if they live through the whole series but HAHAHA HEYYYY ITS FINE

I'm so mad cause I know there are so many details I'm missing that would make me actually chew on wood furniture as much as I say that like for real.  I might speed read the transcripts tomorrow [im not gonna so that asjdlfsfasd im tired] which it probably the worst way to consume this show but I have no defense. But the purpose of the recordings though it so help the next generation basically.

They're for preservation, I don't know how they phrased it exactly (sorry but you haven't seen my cry about the internet archive and I'm not gonna get started about the internet archive because it brings me to tears everytime but that's to say wow preservation is a subject and theme that HITS) but it could, alternatively, be very likely that the show recorded before finally preparations to fight TBMINTS

Which, you know, from a writing perspective there really are those two choices. Let the audience know there is a major format-shifting change end of season 2 to build anticipation for the final season OR save that getting up to speed but until the last few episodes of season 3 because a long term formatting change might annoy some audience members. There's also the idea that you can get up to speed, have daily/more recent audio-diary-like things, and then do a format switch end of season 3

We've got to find out about them fighting god somehow, and I don't know if the current format fits that whole deal? Maybe it could, I’d love to see it if it did, but I think the chances for a switch are high and what that says about the pacing of the show has some effect on how sure I am that my faves are gonna live ngl.

Like if you wait til the last few episodes a reflective on the noble deaths of the big 3 would work pretty well and yes it would be a wonderful story if it went that way I have full faith, but I also don't WANT it yk?

But I do not see all the cogs I am a poor fic writer leaning up a cypress tree etc.

[Here, a brief discussion on themes of cultural preservation and how they’re often recorded in real life]

Which HITS with elio especially. And also talia having read that short story. They had parallels but now they have PARALLELS. I just am literally so scared for elio next season though. And Talia by parralell extension but also cause I think Samy mentioned giving more into her deal s2 in the q&a? But less like SCARED scared.

Okay wait hello this is very  but IS it a stretch to say there may be legions of believer’s tainting how the god’s menifest? Like it's a stretch if you're assuming these people are AWARE of their roles in the system. That it's an intentional force by each individual directed at helping the crusade

BUUUUUUT TBMINTS runs on media. He run on major movies. If I was the god of a massive, relatively culturally cohesive continent (north America in comparison to, like, Asia, has very few thriving cultures, the colonialism will do that to you) and I was created by, and therefore knew how to leverage, media to harness belief to get more power from humans, like the next step would very obviously be to manufacture more media to help reach my goals.

And if I was manufacturing media to help me goals with a very large, organized force that surely has some sort of research division because what is marketing if not research but evil, I would totally say to myself

Hey!

I can control other gods by controlling the perspectives of their believers!

Hey! I can make people believers and shape their beliefs with media!

Hey! Why not send out various targeted feeds in the news and in pop culture funded by my massive organized theocracy showing the most powerful of my enemies as fitting more cleanly into the idea of good and evil that benefits me, both so that the I convince the subjects of my dominion their is no other alternative than the way I rule and also to hinder the other gods by making them more wreckless and more violent in ways that do not help their ultimate goals and create a cycle of demonizing them in the eyes of the masses? Literally what is stopping me from doing that?

NOTHING.

[Edit: There’s some evidence to by found maybe in that Elio who grew up in the americas had no fucking clue about the governments of europe and japan until he was told. Smells like a propaganda machine to me.]

And if it wasn't TBMINTS plotting himself he's got, like, at least a million bootlickers one of them has gotta be a mastermind with how much holy steroids he pumps into them. 

And like. The show's been...well it hasn't defined belief yet, which is really what leaves room for this theory.

Marcus didnt believe in lady luck in the same way elio believed in La Catrina (shrouding themselves in dark robes and praying In basements "it was all very dramatic") he just saw her once and just kinda lived his life knowing that. It only came into play much later when he needed to confront it.

Witches are just assured of themselves and their power. That's a background belief they don't pray to themselves they don't actively maintain that.

And Samar's whole deal?

My point is with the breadth of diversity in what "belief" is in the show and how it powers gods there's definitely space for this crackpot theory still (watch that change as soon as this ep drops shfskhslss) [edit: VINDICATION! you cant call me wrong yet] but if I get even one thing right I'm gonna be elated.

But god also?? Like I feel like we're lead to believe fighting TBMINTS is going to be a physical thing. The trio's growing strengths are very physically centered. But how do you kill a god REALLY? With as many followers as he has even if you somehow slew him, what stops TBMINTS from immediately being reborn? His power  comes from the cultural eradication of nonbelievers, and as Leo's sympathetic example could be taken to hint at: you really just can't kill all those people. Many of them are just ...people. not crusaders.

SOOOOOOOOO IN THAT CASE. If you're fighting a god of the media in a world where where all power is based on popular belief and perception is not the best counterattack to create your own media? Physical aptitude keeps them alive, it wins the small battles, but it hearts and minds that win the war

WHAT IF THE REAL UNIMAGINABLY POWERFUL WEAPON WAS THE PODCAST WE'RE LISTENING TO ALL ALONG?!?!?!!?!

[hndcrm]

LONGTEETH’S LONGFIC

(yes i think im so clever for that leave me alone)

Ok so it’s a continuation of TheBadEndingFromH3™ fic, except that Lucas Grey is alive because im not a fan of his canonical deathh, (not a big fan of his character either way but ioi shouldnt have killed him off and there is a lot to explore with him so i shall (when im looking for beta readers towards the end of writing the fic, ill probably beg a lucas grey stan to read over his scenes bc im worried my bias towards him might make him ooc)) 

Its diana/47 of course,, however there’s some onesided arthur/diana as well, those 3 being the main characters here

The very basic premise is that 47’s memories are erased and he becomes a tool for providence,, and then our faves have to go sort that outt

The pov is switched in each chapter so that some characters that desperately need more attention actually get it, and i get to have fun exploring their motivations and all that fun stuff

As of now its meant to be 30 chapters long, im aiming for 60k words ideally, and i have 19k written rn so we’re technically ⅓ of the way there if you wanna count it that way loll

I want to get it done before september, but i cant confidently say how realistic that is rn,, im sorry <//33 i will get it done as soon as i can but also ive been working on it for exactly 2 months as of today anddd i dont wanna publish it before its ready and polished and i get tired of looking for plot holes and all that

I can however promise you many sex scenes, so. Thats really the selling point here.

Here is the first chapter, (im still constantly editing everything so chances are this will be different when im done but,) enjoy:

Chapter 1 - Arthur Edwards, 47 - Prologue

He could die at this moment - it’s the most probable outcome. 47 never misses his mark, and Arthur Edwards is on his agenda for tonight. It was inevitable, really, crossing him and Burnwood only ever ends in one way. Currently, the world’s best assassin stands before him, tall, powerful, here to fulfill his one purpose. He refuses to meet eye contact, staring at the desk in front of him, instead. He will die. He should die. 

This should be fun.

“I suppose there’s no point in calling for help,” Arthur sighs, clasping his hands together. This has to be convincing - the performance of his lifetime, everything depends on it. He fails to hide his smirk. 

“No.”

“Seems I brought this on myself,” he sighs. “Well played, Miss Burnwood.” He watches as 47’s eyes glint at the name. Good. He looks up. “Do you really think she’ll be able to resist all that power? This is not how people work.”

The assassin doesn’t even contemplate his words properly, keeps his stoic face, and answers with complete conviction:

“She rejects the power, not the responsibility.” His voice sends a chill down Arthur’s spine, but still he struggles to suppress a laugh at such a bold claim. It’s admirable how much he trusts those around him. Arthur stands up, pushing off from the desk, and walks towards the back of the room. 

“A noble idea, but please join me in the real world.” He turns the handle to the next room, and the secret weapon steps out, the leverage that will render him unquestionably the most powerful man in the world. Subject 6 himself, and the key to neutralising 47. He watches as 47’s face turns apprehensive, as though this was a trick. Clever boy. 

“I trust you know who this is,” Arthur sneers. The look on the assassin’s face is priceless, worth every penny of Providence finances spent to get here. 47 is rendered speechless, and Arthur nods for Grey to begin. 

“47, he’s right.” He starts, but 47 turns his face in doubt. 

“You never wanted this,” 47 murmurs. “You’re no slave to Providence. What is this?”

“Diana betrayed you, 47. She betrayed us,” Grey asserts, and Arthur looks on as 47 furrows his brows. “You have to trust me. If you know what’s good for you, you’d cut all ties with that woman.” At this, 47 shakes his head, reaching for what must be a gun. No, no, no, this wasn’t part of the plan. Arthur looks at Grey nervously, who continues assuredly. “Edwards has intel on her, we can find her, and… fix this. Don’t ruin our chances of justice.”

47 stares blankly at his brother.

“I don’t believe you, she wouldn’t betray me - us. You don’t know her.”

“Perhaps you don’t know her,” Arthur interjects, smirking, and pulls out a ring, bought for Diana, no, Helen Rieper by a certain Tobias Rieper. 47 goes pale. “Believe me, if you only heard the things she said about you when she found out that it was you who killed her parents - oh!” Arthur chuckles.

“How did you get that?” 47 demands, and it truly is such a pleasure to witness him in this state, by far the most emotion he’s ever seen him show. Hilarious. 

“I told you, she wants nothing to do with you.” He hands 47 the ring with a smirk, wrinkled fingers touching cold, valuable metal. “Grey will take you to Vienna, and I will send over anything my analysts have gathered on Miss Burnwood. Then you’ll do what you do best, gentlemen.”

47’s not convinced, it seems, but Grey touches his shoulder, and the brothers exchange a repulsively personal moment.

“If you fail to comply, I can promise you’ll await the same fate as Miss Burnwood, but I’m sure you’re both well aware.” He adds, hoping to drill the consequences down. Grey isn’t trustworthy, regardless of what deals have been made. They don’t reply, unsurprisingly. Working with self-appointed revolutionaries like Grey is a careful matter, and you never have full control - he can only hope that Grey understands the consequences of betrayal, understands that Providence could make his life a living hell if they so wish. 47 still appears confused, doubtful at best, but he won’t question his brother and that is truly the backbone of this rather masterful plan. 

When the train pulls into the Bratislava Train Station, all three of them catch the nearest train to Vienna. They sit in different compartments to avoid suspicion, and 1st class is empty, so Arthur takes out his phone and dials her number. She picks up. He smiles.

“Miss Burnwood, good afternoon,” he hums, “assuming you’re still in the Eastern Time Zone, that is?”

“Edwards,” her voice is steady, but he can just about hear her breathing pick up, even over the static of the burner phone and the rustle of the train. “What do you want?”

“You sent your man after me - can’t say I’m surprised.”

“And yet you’re still here.”

“It’s awfully unlike him, isn’t it? Shame.” He smiles as he imagines the look on her face right now. She’s been outplayed, he’s done it. Irritation would suit her, he thinks, but he knows she won’t give up that easily - good. Winning’s no fun when there’s no competition. “He’s fine, by the way. Alive. Not that he’s any of your concern anymore, you made that very clear.”

“What is this? I betrayed you, you want revenge.” She concludes, voice harsher than before.

“Oh I am curious to hear your prediction, Miss Burnwood. What is this?” He looks out of the window, watches minuscule lights glisten far behind humongous fields.

“You have 47. You’ll send him after me, presumably, then use him as a weapon yourself. The thing that gets you to the thing.” He chuckles, readjusting his grip on the phone. 

“How awfully pessimistic. I wouldn’t dream of killing you. You’re quite the asset, Miss Burnwood,” he fiddles with his tie, flexing his fingers, “And with 47 neutralised, well, you’re no longer a threat.”

“Ah, not murder. Exploitation, then.”

“A partnership, Miss Burnwood. What do you say?” She doesn’t respond, so he waits. He hears her breathe out.

“What do I get out of this?”

“Power,” he smirks. “I’ll be beginning work on the Destiny Group soon - you’d have a say in the world’s first sovereign corporate state. That’s certainly nothing to scoff at, Miss Burnwood.” She hums, a challenge. 

“I’ll think about it.” He smiles.

“Meet me in Vienna.”

***

It’s dark, again, and 47 knows what’s coming. He trembles. His mind has consumed him, no toxin necessary this time. There’s nothing around him, no sounds, no light, he cannot tell which way he is walking or looking or how he’s standing upright. 

“God, you’re pathetic,” there’s a voice, it’s cruel, but it’s her. “You really thought I’d choose you over power? Over control?” She laughs, it rings in his ears. “You’re even more delusional than I thought you were.”

A blinding light glares suddenly, overwhelming him. She’s here, more beautiful than he has ever seen her, hair flaming and cheeks rosy, figure caressed by loose, white silk, a floating angel. He knows at that moment that he’s not enough for her, never will be, but he’d do anything to prove himself, and she knows. 

“You’re here to kill me, aren’t you, 47?” She smiles. No, he’s not, could never. He tries to speak, protest, but she covers his mouth with her thumb, cupping his cheek. He doesn’t move. “You needn’t pretend. I’ve known you for 22 years, I’ve seen what you do. With a pistol and a target, you excel, but when left to fend for yourself you give up.” She pouts. “Look at you now, following any direction you’re given, and by the enemy of all people. You’ll kill me, 47, as Edwards asked, do you understand? You’re a killer, incapable of love. Who are you trying to convince? Me? Yourself?” 

To struggle against her touch would be to scare her off, perhaps, hurt her feelings, so he stays still, doesn’t speak or protest, doesn’t try to convince her otherwise, even if obedience in itself proves her point. His head hurts, he can’t kill her, won’t hurt her, but that seems to anger her further. No, she laughs.

“Go on, do it.” She hands him his silverballer, which feels frighteningly heavier now than he remembers it being. “You’ve done it before, haven’t you? Why should this be any different?” She smiles, and he watches as blood pours out from the wound below her ribs. He’s sure he hasn’t shot her now, he can’t have, even a silenced pistol isn’t ever completely silent, and this was years ago, but the blood is fresh and makes him sick, makes his head spin and his eyes water. His memories have always been flawed, he knows. He’s always been flawed.

“Good boy,” she keens. “Your one purpose… Was it worth it?”

“You’re not dead.” He manages.

“No,” she laughs, “you can’t get rid of me that easily. I exist in your head. You have to forget about me for good, then I’ll be dead.”

He doesn’t understand. 

“I can’t do that Diana, you know I can’t.”

She hums menacingly, and it’s terrifying. She walks closer, pressing her bloodied, silky form against his. “Kiss me, 47.”

He gulps. She can’t mean that; he must have misheard. She frowns, and pulls his tie so that their lips are painful millimetres away. He closes his eyes, lets himself press his lips to hers, his arms suddenly some foreign tool he cannot control, so he holds her, feels the silky fabric and soft hair, until she’s gone, far too quickly, and guilt creeps back up faithfully.

He’s spinning now, no, falling through infinity, clouds folding and surging around him. There’s lilac and orange and something’s on fire, he can smell the smoke, it fills his lungs and he aches that he can’t smell her perfume anymore.

He hits the floor, body aching from confusion more than the impact. There’s a ring of fire around him, and the heat radiates onto his face, it’s unbearable, blazing flames growing and stretching to eat up the darkness around him.

She appears again, but somehow she doesn’t look so angelic now. The bloody dress, red lips and fiery hair make him shiver, but there’s an overwhelming urge to kiss her still, protect her from the flames, even if she isn’t so different from them - could engulf and burn him, kill him with just a touch if she so wishes. 

“Come closer, 47.” She laughs, no, cackles, so he does. She touches his face, and her palms burn. “You’re on your own now,” she hisses.

“Don’t leave me, Diana. Please.”

She furrows her brows, angry. He gulps. Then Lucas and Edwards appear, too. Lucas hands him a trigger - small, black, sleek, with one single button - one purpose. When he looks back up, he almost drops the switch, but he finds it is practically glued to his hand. He knows what this is, and it burns a hole in his heart, to be here again.

“This isn’t real,” he protests, “none of you are real.”

Diana gives a demonic smile.

“It would always end this way, I think you knew that,” she taunts. “Finish it.”

He shakes his head, and realises he’s crying. A sudden wave of humiliation overwhelms him, that she sees him, they see him like this. He can’t do it, he never could, and she must know, but it doesn't seem like she believes in his humanity now. Maybe the tears prove her wrong. Edwards is eyeing her up, and it makes him sickly jealous of the bastard. Edwards has replaced him, he wonders if she’ll pretend to feel all the things she pretended with him too. His throat closes up, maybe it’s the smoke, but he knows he needs her to stop, to take him back to the illusion of her affection. it's selfish, he’s aware, because she never wanted him, but it’s a survival instinct at this point, he knows he cannot live without the illusion of her love. Or if she leaves him forever, fine, he’ll suffer the consequences - die quickly and painlessly after too many lonely nights spent with his intrusive thoughts, but he can’t kill her, can’t do it, can’t be the one to be responsible for her death. She’s getting angry.

“Do it!”

“No.”

There’s a bang, and then she’s gone in a cloud of black, billowing dust. It couldn’t have been him, he aches, no, he never pulled the trigger, never wanted this. He falls to his knees. 

“Diana?”

There is nothing.

-----------

Feel free to give any feedback, there's still lots of room for changes at this point so if based off that snippet u think someones ooc or whatever, do message me!!

...would u guys be interested in a sneak peak into the hitman longfic,,? id probably only give the premise and potentially 1st chapter for now,, I don't want to publish too much before I have it nearing completion but,, admittedly I am excited for u guys to read it jwfjsfj