#i might be just a little bit obsessed with both of these songs

[apeninastory]

ivan as a tragic-love character (pt.4c?) (nowhere edition)

Part 2 here. I RE-READ THIS A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT HONESTLY MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED I AM NOT SURE WHAT THIS POST CONTAINS. i may have exagerated and also forgotten something, but there is at least another post abt ivan waiting, soooo...

omg i feel like i could write a whole book abt ivan, i swear. i am finally where i wanted to be - the new song, the one that took over my brain and that i kinda want to listen to in repeat for the rest of my life.

and mind you - this is "Ivan Part 1". PART. 1. WTAF.

9] nowhere.

this is probably the moment nowhere is born. ivan's hypocris and dissonance gave birth to this - which may be why the lore of this CD tells us it was found by chance, stored in Anakt Lost and Found Center and recorded as sold by an unknown donor. that means, he probably composed, wrote and recorded nowhere back in anakt, before graduation - though i like the idea of ivan composing this after it, in the period of time he didn't see till, mizi and sua, a period where memories might have taken over his mind and made him nostalgic, restless.

[who is the unknown donor and why is it ivan himself?]

i feel like it is much more personal and raw than black sorrow, and since i am obsessed with ivan, i can't resists its call - it is now my favourite among all the alnst tracks.

the cover.

this is, like, the first step. where the tears start.

it is not our first time seeing little ivan from the slums-arc, but every time, it feels like a punch on the face. the little snaggletooth is there, he is dirty and wears worn out (lab?) clothes and his eyes are so so empty, i can barely stand looking at him without crying.

another important element: the small feet belonging to one of the kids - toes are missing. did those, dunno, froze and got removed? did adults/aliens remove them to torture the kid/make him incapable of running away/as a punishment of sort? no idea. as i said, i love the idea of ivan being born in an illegal factory for pet humans - it would fit so so well - born as a commodity from the very beginning.

like, how much more miserable do i want my baby to be? yes.

the title.

it's nowhere, but for the cover they went like "no, let's play something" and split it in now here. obvious question: why?

nowhere is undefined - it's a no-place, it means "not in or to any place; not anywhere". it might suggest ivan's lack of a sense of belonging, again, the insecurity that comes with not having a stable life - practically and emotionally.

now here is a bit more defined - here is a place, but where, exactly? and is it only a place or more a situation, a moment, a condition? probably both - like, "now i am here, doing this, being this, within this situation and that's it". the song should tell us more!

the lyrics.

and then the music starts.

In love with you When you were mine In love with you (reverse?) In love Love Love always You In love Love always

wow. just - mindblowing.

this is Ivan's solo, his own song, like hyuna's drunk & party and love & peace. the appearance of the world love is incredibly important, but i don't think it defines the theme of the whole song.

what it does is set the pov - this song is written/composed in a moment where ivan: already knows this word + thinks he knows what it means (and links it to till).

the fact that these verses sound radio-like, distant, as if ivan is listening to them instead of actively singing. it creates a gap between them and the rest of the song. it feels like he is composing the song in a moment when he already knows is love is doomed, so he rewinds back to his own origins and speaks abt himself. the song is written by a Ivan who already knows everything, so we can find traces of "future events" in verses of the song that are supposedly about the past.

these words also sound distorted - love is not sweet sounding and charming and light, like my clematis, nor it is energetic and hopeful like unknown until the end, with till wishing to know more and singing abt his resilience. no. in nowhere, love is raspy and numb and has darker hues - it is obsessive, haunting, just like how these verses resound for the entire song in the background.

they sound like a condemnation and a reminder: ivan loves, can't help but love, has no choice but to love, is condemned to love, chose actively to love. they also sound like he is drilling the word into the listener's head by repeating to it non-stop, in an obsessive cycle.

Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history It freely chatters away That always happens to me

Key words: history, beginning to end. i already said many times, but ivan is a narrator. this is the starting point of ivan's story, ivan's realities, both the one he begins to write abt himself (or tries to) and the one from where we can glimpes at the real ivan. the lyrics might have started with "once upon a time there was a black-haired boy..." and get the same effect. he recounts a history (his own) that is real to him, that mirrors his life - but we can't totally believe him. let's keep this in mind!

we know this story ends in black, with an empty spot and blood (black soooorroooooow), but how does it start? this song has references to ivan's past and life at anakt, so it was probably written slighlty before graduation (since the CD was found in anakt warehouse and an unregistered track - how ivan recorded it is a mystery, but we know he has knowledge and priviledges other do not have). either that, or after graduation/before alien stage, and he somehow found a way to sneak the CD there.

that is probably why he writes "from beginning to end, a stained history": he remembers the beginning and is in a position where he can already predict the end of the story - stained, never pure, since the very start, as if his life was destined to be like that.

what abt the "freely chatters away" verse? i'm not sure, because how can someone's history chatter away? i think we can see it as "it freely chatters away from my mouth", like this story spills from ivan easily, like he can easily build lies for the sake of keeping this illusion, this mask he has, going. the expression apparently indicates someone speaking fluidly, in a relaxed way, but also rambling for a long time. it may suggest that, while from the outside ivan looks smooth and collected, from his point of view this is all rambling, it's the fictional-ivan he created for the sake of the society he lives in - a ivan he needs and uses and maybe resents.

"that always happens to me" reinforces the "beginning to end" part of the song - he is singing abt a common theme in his life in a dejected tone, resigned, like he knows/feels he can't do anything abt it and is okay with it. the stain is permanent and he is destined to "that".

Nowhere, rose-tinted rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me

this is where it gets super super interesting. if in the previous part ivan was warning us abt this being a story (his story and/or the story he is writing abt himself), we are now within ivan's narration.

ivan is still nowhere, but we have some coordinates: a "rigid dream and hope" dyed in rosy hues. he tells us about the existence of a dream immersed in a light, delicate color - the color of stereotypical love/affection (?), of beautiful things. also, this dream/hope is rigid, which is not very dream-like or hopeful.

contrasting images, how fitting for our living oxymoron!

a dream may be something that is commonly regarded as beautiful and ideal (a dream), but that for ivan is rigid - forced? unnatural? a dream he has to fit in in order to survive/blend in/function in the society he finds himself in, perhaps. i explained how other kids at anakt see him and how he makes himself friendlier and smilier. this may be it.

we could also make it abt romantic love. maybe ivan is trying to fit into a vision of love he can't fully embrace/mirror, so he perceives it as stiff. i hope i'm about to phrase it in the right way, but a nice example might be the contrast between mainstream and/or hetero depiction of love vs lgbt depiction of love. ivan being (canonically?) gay gives this idea even more credit - in a normal world, without aliens, surrounded by ways of loving ivan doesn't identify in, this sentence presents his discomfort abt not fitting in stereotypical love.

of course alnst!ivan doesn't have that benefit, but i think this discourse may work as some sort of parallelism: ivan can't love the way he sees other people love. take mizi and sua, for example. in ivan's eyes, they fit the "rose-tinted dream and hope", it is not "stiff" if he puts them in it, then he thinks about himself, abt how he loves (loves till) and it doesn't work anymore.

[we could associate it to till's depiction of love - the rosy hues of this dream are not to be intended as stereotypical, but as the ideal love till wants (sees in mizi) and ivan can't give - perhaps, but i'd like to focus on ivan]

"it's stained with blood", here we come to the stained history from before - stained with what? eh. ivan's life started with blood and ended with blood (his own), but also the blood of humanity, of the people he meets, also destined to a bloody end because of the world they live in. a rosy dream, a rosy hope, the blabbering wonders of a young mind end in red, in blood, and the contrast is as good as it is painful. what is the point of trying to fit in an illusion like that when he already knows what the end will be? that's why his story was stained from the beginning - the end was clear as day since ivan's first opened his eyes.

yeah. "that's just how it is", after all, from ivan's pov. he is resigned to it, so the illusion gives him no comfort, prevents him from fitting in. and again, it is something that always happens to him. what is it? not belonging. he is nowhere, in a story written by him that is stained since the beginning (his birth) to the end (his death), a story with no hope of redemption or finding better condition - a story where not even a dream can give him hope.

My sky, shaped by the world doesn't even let me stand under it I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up

i love this part. okay.

"my sky" - the sky is something everyone has above their head. it's just there, no matter the planet. adding "my" kinda gives it something poetic abt it, as if the narrator is not reffering to the sky, but a particular something/someone that can be equated to the sky. while this is a possible interpretation

[again, the sky and the color teal resonate with each other, it is an interesting way of fitting till here, but it's not only that!]

we need to dig a bit more. how many skies did ivan see? the one in the slums - glimpses between rundown buildings -, the night sky before his auction, the fake baby blue at anakt, the red metor shower sky with till, the (fake?) one above the stage he died on. what do the have in common? all are concessions/creations given to him by others. adding "my" makes it interesting, because the sky is not something that can belong to a person, but we know ivan feels a connection with what the sky holds.

"shaped by the world" - that's why he added this. it is "his" sky in the measure which it was shaped by someone/something else. his birth, aliens, till, these are all entities that influenced the "sky" ivan claims as "his", as if to say "i can't have the whole thing because so many have taken it away from me/have limited the sky i could reach".

"doesn't even let me stand under it" - not only that, not only the slice of sky he can have is limited, his sky (this remaining slice) doesn't even accept him. how heart-breaking is this? because we know the sky isn't guilty - this is how ivan perceives himself. he feels rejected by people and by the world, as if it was saying to him that he shouldn't have been born. after all, if the sky does't let him stand under it, what place does ivan have left?

this speaks to me abt his authentic inability to belong. while i think we can say that it is not true that he is unwanted, it is not true that the world rejects him, i can sure understand why he sees himself like that - abandoned, ill threated, sold off, "unloved", used as a commodity. his view of himself, crooked as it is, is not baseles.

he can't have a physical place - so he creates his own reality.

saying "I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up" makes me think abt little ivan, back on the ground, staring up the same way we would lay on grass and watch the clouds move.

"yesterday" - we can take it literally, so the day prior, of more figuratively, it may refer to the past. the story progresses: there was a time when ivan used to have dreams, maybe rose-tinted, maybe those same dreams he can't fit in now, and he regards them now as something from the past, from which he now distance himself

"daydream" - these were not unconscious dreams made at night, but dreams he conjured willingly, his own narrative, the story of the ivan he wanted to be all tangled in this song.

"all torn up" - like he knows better, now, than to abandon himself to them. they are all torn up, probably by the awareness that they are dreams, and that ivan can't fit in.

ivan is talking abt the attempt at dreaming he made when he was young, and abt his discovery/awareness that it doesn't work for him. let's think of the meteor shower event with till. by escaping with him, ivan tried to fit into till's dream (freedom), but failed. so he stares at this, at his "yesterday's daydreams", and replays them in his mind.

does this mean he stops dreaming? honestly, i don't think so. ivan is a hopeless romantic (not strictly related to love, but "of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality"), a drama queen, a narrator. part of the frustration this song suggest may be related to the fact that despite knowing it is useless, he can't help but doing it.

welcome to humanity, baby! human beings and their souls crave for art.

Fly far, far away Never, never again Come back to me Because it's easier to forget It's so typical Typical to me

although not explicitly said, it appears that here ivan is not talking to himself, seems to be referring to a "you". he doesn't have problems with mentioning himself in the lyrics (happens to me, my sky, I lay down), so it must mean something!

i am a bit torn, here, because it could still mean that he (present ivan) is speaking to little ivan. like he wants to chase away his vulnerable and inexperienced past self, so distant from the ivan he became and needs to be in order to live in relative peace until the end. "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". he could also be asking him(self) to escape, at least within the dream - to go far, far away, in a safe place, so not to experience what he had.

but. in love with you, when you were mine. daydreams and hope and blood stains, a sky that doesn't want him... it feels like ivan isn't only at war with himself, but with a different stain, a different imprint, a different someone. the robotic voice is still there, in the background, like a reminder that this is not only about the ivan-self.

ivan is trying to get rid of something.

he is inviting that something to go away, or maybe chasing it away from him, to safety. imagine that something is a someone. imagine that someone is till. now take these words and make them abt till: "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". what if he is telling till to go away becausse he doesn't want to hurt him with his words and behaviour anymore? what if he also doing it for himself? because if ivan doesn't think abt till, if he doesn't think abt the meteor shower, if he doesn't think about alien stage being the place where one of them will probably have to die, he can put all his efforts into his performance and win. we know he can - r3 ended with him making 90 points. till is good, but r6, absent-minded till? ivan could win. it's just that in the end, he can't.

i like both interpretation, because they both force ivan to face parts of himself he probably doesn't like or can't accept or even better, can't understand.

Wake up, wake up In my overwhelming daily life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind

"wake up" - he is talking to himself now. as i said, i don't think adult ivan stops dreaming just because he can't abandon himself to his daydreams the way others do. the point his, waking up is like a slap in the face for him - his daily life is overwhelming: medical experimentations, lessons, alien stage awaiting him, songs to record, death, and what remains of him? "an existence like dust"

he can't stand the idea of keeping his eyes on it. he can't find refuge in the dream (so he turns off his mind), he can't find solace in reality (so he closes his eyes). are you starting to get why the song is called nowhere?

Worse and worse This painful wound I become more and more numb In the dark City lights I Can't find anyone Anyone Anyone

the "painful wound" can be a a trauma (his past, threatment at anakt, meteor shower) or simply a mix of everything - it can be his whole life, perceived as a festering wound he can't heal from, that makes him number and number to everything, both dream and reality. the darkness has lights, but no one in sight.

Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history With that revolting tooth That always happens to me

the chorus repeats, but with a variant - "With that revolting tooth", the saggletooth we and the alien public all love.

hatred toward himself - ivan is incredibly critical of himself, but not in a neautral, objective way. he finds this detail of him "revolting", which is too strong a word and confirms that he cannot be objective when it comes to himself. baby, you are beautiful???? NOTHING is revolting abt you. what the hell.

it may be a reminder of something that happened to him in the slums, though. a trauma, a critica, tortures? i wish i knew!

Nowhere, seeped in purple rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me

his dream and hope take a different hue - purple. it is getting darker, if we think they were initially tinted in a rose-colour. it feels like his daydream is maturing, that there is a temporal shift, so while his first daydreams were rosy, growing up they became purplish. heading toward black?

That's just the kind of kid he is, so laugh Laugh, because he can't do anything No one cares about someone like him There's nowhere in the world for him to rest That's just how he is

another super interesting part. look at the change in subject: he.

i wrote abt ivan's dissonance, his splitting in two, the frustration he feels with himself. i also said he is trying to get rid of something, and it makes a lot of sense that that something is the side of himself he resents/can't understand/can't reason with.

notice how the way he sings this and the next part gets quicker, more raspy, less elegant. it feels like a punch in the face with how intense it is. ivan sounds resentful. not angry, maybe - his voice is soft, haunting, resigned for most of the song, but here? he is letting it all go. he is venting, releasing. "there is nothing to do, kid, things are bound to stay the way they were, the way they are, so just laugh and keep smiling because no one will ever care about you. don't even try, don't look for a place to be, this is how things are and no amount of dreams/efforts will change things up."

so. he is talking to himself. nowhere is a letter to his past self - little ivan, lost between the slums, his daydreams and the hope to be loved. his tone grows louder, more livelier for a moment, because he is feeling it all.

He's smooth, flexible, quite easy Just go past it like it doesn't bother you It's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Again, it's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Like nothing happened

and after talking to himself, he mentions till. i can't fit the English sentence here as something ivan tells himself/kid ivan, it is far from how he perceives himself. the sentence is also in English, so it's like he is highlighting the change in subject.

that's why he reminds himself "don't bother, don't think, ignore it all, forget that it all happened". what? the meteor shower. it comes back to that as a moment where not only till, the whole dream of ivan being able to fit in splits and falls apart - the starting point of the dissonance that will lead ivan to composing this song.

Wake up, wake up In my beautiful life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind

the dream has collapsed, so back to reality - the reality he built for himself, where he can control things. this life is beautiful, but it is obviously a lie, because his existence is still like dust, and he still needs to keep eyes and mind closed.

the wound keeps festering - the reality he builds for himself is to have the illusion of a place to stay, but not a mind-numbing one. he knows he doesn't belong, doesn't pretend to find a place for himself, that's why the rest of the verses are the same. it's still him and he is still aware, but there is a disillusioned acceptance to his role.

Nowhere, from beginning to end A festering histerie With these cruel lips That always happens to me

this is also where the anger and loathing he feels toward himself most emerge, i think.

"festering" reminds us of the wound ivan lives with, the one that keeps hurting and keeps him numbed to the pain, but here it is linked to hysteria ("exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion or excitement"). so it really is something ivan feels he can't keep under control. perhaps, the process of putting all this darkness in a song was meant to be cathartic.

"with those cruel lips" makes me wanna scream. because even though i logically link this to ivan and to what he said abt himself in this comic, the song keeps presenting us with instances where we can link some verses to till instead - ivan has been cruel to him, from ivan's pov, but maybe, a part of ivan also blames till for cruelly ignoring him and his sorrow.

Nowhere, seeped in black rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me That always happens to me That always happens to me

"seeped in black"!!!!! darkness fell, ivan's heart is still once more, he is once again in control - resigned to his fate, or better, the fate he assigned himself.

"black" winks at black sorrow - and perhaps this is the moment ivan began to plan his willing demise.

this may also be why the cover says "now here": ivan is here, in pre-alien stage, with this song in his hands, with these memories freshly extracted from his mind, freshly recollected. he disposes of it all and goes back to the short life that remains him, the chaos in his head appeased, the confusion numbed, ready to head toward the black end.

° * °

ivan is presented with all these contrasts and complications and differences between what he would have wanted to be (his dream) and what his reality has to offer (till loving mizi, ivan loveless and unlovable, a death game with an inevitable ending).

i thought nothing hurt more than black sorrow, but this song is painfully ivan. it couldn't have gotten more personal than this, and it makes my heart ache so much.

this is the song the pictures ivan most perfectly. this is also the song ivan never wanted us, everyone, to find. the dissonance and hypocrisis in himself grew to a point that he probably needed to let it out - and what's the best way to do it for someone like ivan who seldom even feels like needing to let it all out? music. he has been studying it profoundly, knows it can be cathartic - has seen his friends, especially till, use music as a medium for emotions, both controlled and bottled up.

he composes and writes this to be abt himself - maybe abt his friends, maybe against the system -, but he does and narrates himself the way he sees himself, the ivan that he thinks he is. we know he is an unreliable narrator, and the song tells us exactly that: this is ivan, someone who can't be trusted when describing himself, so in a way, the unreliability is ivan's most accurate portrait.

he probably felt naked after recording this, so i have a strong feeling ivan himself disposed of it - that is why it was "found" in a warehouse - as the song is ivan's story, but also a cry against the system for making him like this and a love/hate letter, to till and to himself. he couldn't let anyone find it before his death, now, could he?

PART 4 coming soon?

[racemeyibo]

thanks for tagging me, love @dripdropv!

5 songs I have on repeat

1. Left Right - XG

2. Tinnitus (Wanna Be a Rock) - Tomorrow X Together

3. Mangos mit Chili - Nina Chuba

4. Ponytail - Yugyeom, Sik-K

5. At Night - Simon Dominic, Loco

I'm tagging whoever wants to do this!

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Thinking about…

Alastor and Bill Cipher after the same s/o (headcannons)

Hazbin Masterlist // Disney Masterlist // Navigation

Warnings: Obsessive behavior! Alastor being sadistic, Bill being a bit weird because duh, wrote this with Human form Bill Cipher in mind, mentions of death

A/N: I really like this dynamic, even though it’s kind of crazy and a lose lose situation for the reader, but it’s still interesting to write about. I hope you all enjoy!!

Alastor

• Alastor isn’t just charming; he’s obsessed with making you see him as the ultimate catch. He meticulously plans every interaction, ensuring that you are always impressed and feel valued. Every compliment and gesture is calculated to win your heart.

“Why there’s that smile I love to see my dear! Ever the beauty!”

Alastor can’t stand the thought of you being attracted to anyone else, especially Bill. He tries to mask his jealousy with his usual grace and horribly timed jokes, but it’s evident in the subtle digs he takes at Bill whenever you mention him.

When Alastor is alone with you he’s not above grand, romantic gestures. Picture him serenading you with an old-fashioned love song or setting up a beautiful, intimate dinner where he pours out his feelings and tries to convince you that he’s the best choice for a partner and way better than bill in all aspects of the word.

Alastor’s affection for you is deeply strategic. He genuinely cares, but he’s also careful in how he shows it. He’ll often try to subtly make you see how a relationship with him would be beneficial, not just for personal pleasure but for gaining power and influence. He’s a very strong man and his image is important, what’s not to want about him?

“Don’t you love this view dear? We could be here all the time, if you wished.”

Alastor envisions a future where you are by his side, helping him dominate Hell. His feelings are not just about the present but about creating a powerful, enduring relationship. He dreams of ruling Hell together, and he’s willing to go to great lengths to make that vision a reality.

But not all things with Alastor are good, you know how much he HATESSSS modern technology and well, it’s how the world runs now. this is something Bill definitely used against him

“Don’t get intimated by a big screen deer man!”

Though he hates how Bills joke makes you laugh, his smile tightens nonetheless

Alastor will often put doubts into your mind about Bill. He is partially right, so it does make you wonder…

“What if he were to suddenly get tired of you? My dear, he’s traveled galaxies and destroyed universes. You wouldn’t want to be subject to that would you?”

or maybe something like,

“That little shape is no better than a toddler. He can’t even take proper care of his toys, breaking them when he gets bored. How pitiful.”

Bill Cipher

Bill is intensely infatuated with you. His feelings might come across as chaotic and erratic, per usual, but underneath, he’s deeply drawn to your spirit and individuality. He finds your uniqueness thrilling and wants to be the one to make your life as unpredictable and exciting as possible.

“ Wanna see this guy dance with his eyes hanging out of his sockets? Gotta tell ya’ you’ll never see anything like it ever!”

Bill’s way of showing affection is through wild and flirtatious chaos. He might sweep you into a whirlwind of bizarre, fantastical experiences, always with an underlying flirtation that makes it clear he’s very interested in you.

Bill knows how to push Alastor’s buttons. He often uses his chaotic antics to draw your attention away from Alastor, playfully teasing him and making a show of his own appeal. For Bill, it’s not just about romance; it’s about proving he’s the more exciting option, you’ll never be bored of him!

Despite his chaotic nature, Bill genuinely wants a deep connection with you, even if he does have a weird way of being about it. He’s drawn to your complexity and wants to show you that his brand of chaos can be both thrilling and deeply meaningful. He might surprise you with moments of surprising sincerity.

Bill is not afraid to take big risks to win you over. He’s willing to gamble with the very fabric of reality just to create memorable moments. His love is unpredictable and intense, and he hopes you will find that thrilling rather than overwhelming.

Bill is the type of guy to take you to a different reality for a date, wanna go watch marshans fight? no problem! upset about something? let’s go to this dimension where you can blow anything up!

He’s definitely got jokes though, and he’s good at them too

“Hey furry, why don’t you cut that loose part of your hair? OH wait, it’s your EARS!”

Bill is no fool though, he sees EVERYTHING, so it’s really difficult to hide things from him, which means being with him also means you losing your privacy.

“He’s a sociopath dove, you can’t really believe that radio freak actually likes you right?”

He isn’t wrong, Alastor has proven multiple times he keeps people around because he needs them for something, and Bill loves this

“What if you don’t satisfy him? What if he decides you’re not worth being with?”

or maybe he’ll say

“ You never know dove, what if he’s just after your soul? Maybe he likes the fact you put up a good fight, eh?”

Both demons have their crazies to them. Picking Alastor means Bill might destroy your dimension and maybe rearrange his molecules. But picking Bill means watching Alastor rip hell to shreds at your expense, hurting anyone and everyone to get you, maybe even threatening whoever you love.

Dating Alastor means you can kind of live a normal-ish life

Dating Bill means you keep your dimension

[xxgoldie]

went to karaoke and someone sang crush by david archuleta so now im thinking abt lighter romance enthusiast lorenz also listening to the most pining songs just the sappiest playlist known to man

as usual, i am Obsessed with lighter being down bad. he's such a fucking dork, i need him. have been listening to a variety of love song playlists for the last few days as i write this and its not helped the brainrot. cw: none, pure fluff, gn!reader wc: 444 (or 618 with the bonus)

when he's out and about, he tends to listen to metal and rock, the same kind of stuff that's in his demo trailer. it gets him in the right headspace for his champion duties. when he's alone, though? his headphones are playing exclusively sappy glitter-gel-pen love songs. he would rather die than let anyone know, he has an image to upkeep - wouldn't even put it past him to have a second spotify account, bc u know the girls will bug him to see his wrapped every year.

within the love song genre, his favourite songs are ones that remind him of you.

his listening history is an amalgamation of different musical styles, but what he really pays attention to is the lyrics; if there's a song that really captures the way he feels about you, or one where the singer describes their lover and they're similar to you, he can't help but put it on repeat. he also loves duets - just like with romance movies, he loves imagining its the two of you in that situation. when he's deep in crush territory, he'll even make a playlist of those songs (it's long - can't help that every other song reminds him of you).

when you're finally together, he's more open about his love of love songs. it may take a bit into your relationship, during some late-night conversation about your respective silly behaviours when you were pining over each other, for him to show you the playlist, titled with just your initial and a heart emoji. but even before that, if you happen to play any of the songs he secretly listens to, you might catch him singing along under his breath (lowkey this post every five seconds). you might chalk it up to him picking up the words of songs the girls listen to, but that's because you don't catch the way he looks at you with the lyrics on his lips.

there are other times where he'll slide up behind you in your kitchen, arms around your waist and head propped on your shoulder, the domesticity and the fact you're wearing his tshirt getting to him. he's not much of a singer, but he'll hum one of those songs in that moment (his voice has a lovely smooth n deep timbre, so his humming sounds Heavenly in your ear). he might get a little embarrassed if you recognise the song and start humming along with him, or god forbid singing, but he'll still sway the both of you along to the music. he's not much of a dancer either, but he can figure out a midnight slow dance in the kitchen for you.

bonus!! a few songs i think he'd listen to, tho kinda influenced by my own music taste (+ spotify links): kiss her you fool - kids that fly (he has it on loop when he's psyching himself up to ask you out) meteor shower - cavetown davy crochet - the backseat lovers (perhaps i'm biased on this one bc i crochet) stitch me up - set it off can't help falling in love - elvis presley cloud 9 - beach bunny ("even when we fade eventually to nothing / you will always be my favourite form of loving" really hits with his whole 'dying for love' thing) love grows (where my rosemary goes) - edison lighthouse paper rings - taylor swift jackie and wilson - hozier (there's a lot of hozier in his playlists, but he really likes the thought of a family with you, even if that's only a couple lines of the song) valentine - atlas sweet tooth - cavetown ("guess i must be satisfactory / you said you love me exactly the way i am" takes him Out i can just feel it) would you be so kind - dodie

[sterredem]

GUTS Tour

Oscar piastri x singer!reader

Face claim Olivia Rodrigo

Summary Oscar reacts to his girlfriend tour.

Warning Guts tour(not really but Iykyk)

A/N really like it. I hope it does well. Hope y’all enjoy it! The YouTube video and the insta story took really long to make so pls show some love and say what you think!

Also I just reread it, and there are quite some spelling mistakes. Sorry for anyone that is bothered by it, but I can’t change it anymore because that takes a lot of time and I don’t have that. I ado don’t really know what to thing about the YouTube video cause I made it in 2 hours so for me the different parts where more spread out but now I look back it looks a bit weird. But Lmk what you think!

Don’t forget to repost and comment! It helps a lot! Also feedback is appreciated!

Instagram

Liked by SabrinaCarpenter and 5.737.826 others

Yourusername thank you so for all the great support! I had a great time on my first few shows, hope to see you al soon!

View all 11.626 comments

SabrinaCarpenter So gorgeous!

Conangray Love the show!

Oscarpiastri 😍❤️

User1 not her friends and bf simping in the comments

User2 so exited to see you in Europe!

User3 so happy I got to see you!

User4 SO PROUD!

User5 I can still remember the little girl on bizarfark and now she is doing a world tour😢 the little artist is really growing up!

User6 💜💜

User7 mother

User8 we need Oscar’s reaction to the obsessed performance and the ✨parts✨ of the show

User9 OMG SO TRUE

User10 in love with you

User11 IM SO EXITED TO GO TO THE GUTS TOUR (I don’t have tickets)

User12 love the difference between SOUR and GUTS tour, she really isn’t a teenager anymore

User13 ur an icon

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Twitter

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YouTube

Comments

User1 HAHAHA OSCAR REACTION TO THE PARTS

User2 I love that y/f/n SHQ and McLaren worked together for this! Great video!

User3 He listed!

User4 not him stuttering😂

User5 the people laughing at him behind the camera😂

User6 I love how he makes sure to mention that he knew things beforehand and that she asked him for advice

User7 HAHA not him suddenly being full GenZ for y/n😂

User8 HAHA him saying that she does that a lot is the highlight of this video!

User9 someone should count how many times he said wow🤣

User10 he is such I supportive Boyfriend! I love it!

User11 he’s such a simp!

User12 I love how he says that about the fans and stuff

User13 Great video!

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Instagram

Liked by OscarPiastri and 7.736.836 others

Yourusername He may be a simp, and he may judge my tour, but he is mine🫶 So American is out now! I hope you all enjoy it! (P.S. he finally came to the show, and he ENJOYED it!)

View all 70.736 comments

OscarPiastri Hey don’t expose me!

OscarPiastri And I’m so proud of you! Finally a song that I heard beforehand!

OscarPiastri And I did not judge you and I’m not a simp!

Yourusername Whatever you believe sweetheart!

SabrinaCarpenter Omg love the song! So proud of you! Liked by author

GracieAbrams So happy! Love that you finally released a love song!

Yourusername 💜

TaylorSwift So proud of you! You finally found your lover!

Yourusername Thank you mother🙇‍♀️💜

Landonorris it was so painful to watch both Oscar filming the video and him watching the show irl😭 he was a simp and speechless with both😭

Yourusername Hey! Look out at what you say! He is my simp!

User1 AAAHHHH NOW SONG!

User2 FIRST LOVE SONG!

User3 they are so cute!

User4 I love them!

User5 AND HE SAYS IM SO AMARICAN!

User6 THEY ARE THE BEST COUPLE ON TEH GRID!

User7 OSCAR IS SO HOT IN TJOSE PICS🥵🥵

User8 I fear I might have fallen in love… with both

User9 do you need a dog? 🐶🐕 I can bark

User10 NEW SONG WOOHOO

User11 I didn’t really like their relationship at first, but now that we get more song I AM SUCH A FAN

User12 UGH THE PUCS ARE SO CUTE

User13 Not her and Lando exposing Oscar

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Instagram

Yourusername posted on their story

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Oscarpiastri reacted to your story

💜💜

Love you!

-

SabrinaCarpenter reacted to your story

Simp

Sorry that I’m in love

-

GracieAbrams reacted to your story

So cute!

💜

-

Taylorswift reacted to your story

so happy for you!

Thank you!

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Landonorris reacted to your story

He is giggling and kicking his feet atm

AWWWWW

[sl-ut]

all is fair

pairing: pope heyward x fem!reader, unrequited!jj maybank x fem!reader, slightly homoerotic bff!sarah cameron x reader LOLLLL

description: jj is not jealous of pope. definitely not. okay, maybe just a little.

warnings: swearing, underage drinking/drug usage, jealousy, slight angst, jj being a little butthurt, pope and jj are beefing, weird au where the plot of the show never happens lol but sarah and jb are still dating, reader has a shitty past and a bit of lore but we’ll get into it but don’t worry it doesnt rlly affect what the reader looks like or ethnic/cultural background (but i wrote it with arabic-canadian!reader in mind but thats just self indulgent lol), once again was high when starting this and writing this rn so sorry if it makes like no sense whatsoever but i think the story will be good), the grandparents are the sweetest human beings ever sorry

words: 2.7K

date posted: 08/11/25

JJ swore he wasn’t jealous. No way.

JJ, despite his unfortunate past, he had grown to be pretty damn confident in himself over the years; He was one of the best surfers in Kildare, he had a great group of friends, and he was fairly popular among the ladies in the Outer Banks. Sure, there were parts of him that he wasn’t so proud of or tried to keep hidden as much as possible, but at a time like this, he shouldn’t be feeling anything but on top of the world, but he couldn’t quite fight off the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach as his eyes followed the movements of the two girls on the opposite side of the bonfire.

Sarah threw her head back, laughing joyfully as she and Y/n took turns twirling each other around to some song that was far too fast for their dancing, but neither seemed to care. They’d been at it for a few songs now, Sarah always waiting in the wings to snatch the newest member of the Pogues away to have all to herself, knowing fully well that there were at least two other members of the group who were eager to do the same. John B didn’t seem alarmed at his girlfriend’s obsession with their new friend, though it was probably too demanding to ask a teenage boy to be upset about his girlfriend rubbing up on another girl. 

To be totally fair, Sarah did technically have first dibs, having been the first to meet the girl after she’d moved in with her grandparents in Figure Eight while volunteering at the local animal shelter. Her grandparents were pretty well known in Kildare, two former snowbirds who finally decided to settle in North Carolina, both having recently retired, though her grandfather did own and partially run the shelter. They were a sweet old couple, the type that you might see on a Christmas card or a cookie box, and lived quite modestly despite the fact that they were living amongst the wealthier community on the island. With their granddaughter in town and staying with them indefinitely, they were eager to introduce her to Sarah in hopes of easily transitioning her into the social scene. It was Sarah who had invited her to the kegger the following weekend, so it made sense that they had quickly become two peas in a pod, so long as JJ was next in the pecking order.

Except, he couldn’t technically claim that spot on his own. He had actually met Y/n prior to the bonfire while delivering groceries with Pope, both of them spotting her at the exact same time as she answered the door, charming each of them with a sweet smile and a generous tip, completely unaware of the lingering gaze of each boy as she bid them each a polite goodbye before closing the door. Neither of them said anything the entire walk back to the truck, both sitting quietly in the front seat for a moment before JJ finally let his thoughts take over.

“She was like, crazy hot, right?”

Pope was silent for another beat before he sighed out his response, “Yeah she was.”

Neither of them brought her up again, figuring it wasn’t really worth their time to pursue anything with a girl who would only be there for a week. However, when she showed up with Sarah to the kegger that Friday, all bets were off.

JJ was the first to actually get to talk to her, stepping in with a greeting while Sarah became occupied with her boyfriend, nearly wasting away after being apart for two hours. He offered her a drink, chuckling to himself at the cringing expression on her face at the taste of the warm beer. She shook her head, handing the red cup back to him with a slightly embarrassed look on her face. This caught Sarah’s attention, winking at JJ as she encouraged him to show Y/n the cooler of quote-on-quote “girly drinks” in the back of the twinkie. 

He could read that she was nervous, especially now that she was alone with him. Normally, he would do his best to calm her nerves just enough that he could persuade her to climb into the back of the van with him, but something about this girl made him feel different, almost obliged to treat her with more respect than he did most girls. She wasn’t just another girl, he could tell simply by the way she carried herself, almost like she understood him on a deeper level before she even knew anything about him. He was drawn to her, and an unfamiliar feeling of nerves ate away at his tummy as he showed her the selection of Sarah’s cans and gave her a lopsided grin as she took the can from him. 

He lost sight of her for a while, returning to manning the keg while John B and Sarah rushed down the beach hand in hand, but his eyes were in a constant motion of scanning the crowd, eagerly searching for even a glimpse of the girl who’d had his head spinning for the last hour. 

Unbeknownst to him, she had found herself sitting next to Kie at the bonfire, falling easily into the conversation with her and the few others. She took note of the boy sitting across from her, making an effort to ask him questions or include him in the conversations. He seemed to be a bit socially awkward, but there was something about him that had caught her eye straight away, even from the first moment they locked eyes while he was delivering her grandparents’ groceries.  

He was dorky and awkward in the most endearing way possible, unlike guys she had historically been attracted to, but she was certain that that was exactly why she liked him so much; she was in the market for a fresh start, and that couldn’t happen if she put herself in the position to treated like shit all over again. 

Six weeks later and Y/n found herself becoming a regular at the Chateau, constantly being dragged there on her days off from the shelter by Sarah or being picked up by one of the others on their way home from whatever odd job they’d picked up on Figure Eight for the day. Every day out on the boat, every kegger, every bonfire on the beach, she was there. 

They had all even begun hanging out at her place, all quickly becoming acquainted with her grandparents, both of whom were more than happy to host the teens, keeping them comfortable and fed all day as they used their in-ground pool or lounged in the A/C. Her grandmother thought they were all the sweetest kids who’d ever lived, having a special place in her heart for the boys, while her grandfather was just glad to have a group to cook for, gladly donning his fancy apron and manning his grill for them all and enjoyed having extra help around the house. Her grandma especially loves when Sarah comes for sleepovers because she loves joining in on your gossip sessions and joining you both to go get mani-pedis in the morning. 

Their closeness to her family also meant that they were quickly discovering very personal things about Y/n’s life prior to moving to the Outer Banks. Y/n was very hyper aware of this for the first few weeks, almost vulnerable now that her past was now out in the open, but she quickly came to realise that her secrets were safe with the pogues, and that they only made them love her even more.

Initially, it hadn’t been the intent of either Y/n or Pope to begin hanging out on their own in secret. Well, they had both wanted to hang out on their own, but the secrecy stemmed from the fact that JJ had made his intentions and feelings for Y/n very clear, and that he was very hard-pressed about the “no pogue-on-pogue macking,” rule for everyone except for himself for some reason. They also liked the quietness of secrecy, neither of them worried about their friends trying to butt in on their movie nights or walks on the beach, even though they were most definitely not trying to get each other alone on purpose… Until after she kissed him for the first time, that is.

Pope had been shocked when it happened, his brain barely even registering the second-long peck after he’d walked her home from the Chateau one evening, but he was sure to put his all into the second and third ones that quickly followed. He had expected some time to figure things out before anything was made official, but he of course had chosen a girl who was prepared to take what she wanted without fear of repercussions, and so, shortly after she had been picked up at the end of her grandparent’s dock, she curled into his side and announced that they were now together. Pope was taken aback, but was somewhat relieved that he no longer had to go through with his long-winded but very sweet gesture that he had planned in order to make things official. That relief, however, disappeared very quickly as he met JJ’s heated gaze.

“What ever happened to bro code?” He’d whined once they had gotten back to the chateau after dropping her back off that evening. “I mean, seriously man, I called dibs and you just swoop in before I even get to make a move.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Kie raised a hand to cut him off before he could spout any more nonsense, “You called dibs? Are you aware that we are talking about a real human girl here?”

“Not the point,” JJ ignored her, “You knew I liked her!”

“And you knew I did too!” Pope countered, “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about this beforehand but I never expected her to drop that on you guys like that.”

JJ shook his head, finishing the last of his beer and tossing the can to the side as he stormed towards the front door of the Chateau, “You just couldn’t let me have one thing now, could you Pope?”

Pope jumped to his own feet, brows furrowing as a look of disbelief crossed his face, “One thing? Do you even hear yourself? JJ, you can and have screwed around with every girl on this island; you always get first pick, and even the ones you leave for me are usually waiting for their chance to talk to you! God forbid the one girl I really like actually likes me back and isn’t just using me to get to you, but I guess that would be too hard for you to believe, huh?”

JJ frowned, opening his mouth to counter that argument when Sarah finally stepped in.

“Why are you even fighting over this?” She scoffed, “JJ, you have been here the entire time. If you were going to make a move you could have, but I really don’t think it would have made much of a difference. Like I said, you were here, you were an option, and she still chose Pope. Don’t throw your friendship with both of them away over her feelings, which none of you could have controlled even if you tried.”

JJ felt his breathing grow heavier, his emotions mixing with Sarah’s words of reason and sending him into a frenzy. He needed to be alone before he had the chance to blow up again, he needed time to think, so he stormed out of the Chateau without another word.

Two more weeks had passed, and all of them had gone back to normal. JJ was still a bit butthurt over it all, but made an effort to be his usual self. There was still a bit of tension between him and Pope, and the Heyward boy had even made an effort to plan more time away from the group with his new girlfriend, both out of respect for JJ’s feelings and out of a slight tinge of greed knowing that other eyes were looking at her in the same way he did. He had made an effort to not divulge any of what had happened to her, but he was sure that Sarah would have let at least some of it slip at some point.

The bonfire had been planned in honour of Kie’s birthday, though she had fled the party rather early, hand-in-hand with some dark-haired touron while her friends whooped and cheered. Most of the others had left by that point, leaving JJ, John B, Sarah, Pope, and Y/n alone to enjoy the slowly dying fire, the quickly dwindling alcohol supply, and the free-flowing music that played through John B’s beat up bluetooth speaker.

JJ sat on his folding chair, nursing his fourth beer of the night as he watched the girl twirl around and around with Sarah until they both stopped, alcohol-inspired giggles leaving their lips as they leaned against each other to regain their balance. They grinned at each other for a moment before Sarah leaned forward, pressing a gleeful kiss to her friend’s lips before pulling herself away.

“Heyward,” She called in a demanding voice, catching the attention of Pope, who’d already been watching his girlfriend with a lovesick stare, “Come get your lady, I need a break.”

Y/n grinned at him, eyes filling with love hearts at the sight of her boyfriend as she held out her grabby hands to him, beckoning him to join her, “Dance with me, Popey.”

Pope visibly cringed at the nickname, something she had never even once called him while sober, but still pushed himself off of his log and moved to meet her on the other side of the fire. 

JJ reached a hand out, stopping him from moving any further as Pope stared down at him with a challenging look. They stared for a quick beat before JJ moved his hand up into an all-too-familiar position. A small smile appeared on Pope’s lips as he clapped his own hand into his best friend’s, dapping him up for the first time in weeks.

“I love you, man,” JJ slurred.

“Love you too, JJ.”

“Pope!” Y/n placed her hands on her hips, impatiently waiting for him as Sarah collapsed into John B’s lap.

“Go get her, tiger,” JJ let go of his hand, making sure to pat his ass sharply as he walked past with a laugh, watching as he took the girl into his arms and began to slowly sway her back and forth to the beat of the song. 

Y/n leaned her head against his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck as the drinks she’d had began to transcend from energetic to sleepy in just moments. JJ watched on, a small frown appearing on his lips before it quickly switched to a soft smile.

Alright, maybe he was jealous, but he’d never seen Pope look so happy, so maybe it was all worth it. 

okay why did i actually eat this up

fr tho i love this pairing and little plot i have going so im def down to make this a mini series or do like hcs for this if ppl are interested if not just go ahead and tell me to stfu already

[twistedteddy]

Cam girl f!reader × Toji

✧*̥˚ Please Reblog *̥˚✧

(As always not proofread)

Warnings: exhibition, cam girl/porn making,dry humping/grinding, stalking, obsession, requests, money accepted for lewd acts, p! 》v!, spanking,rough actions, choking, cream pie, overstimulation, usage kink

Toji had one rule when it came to missions. Between 6 and 9 PM he wouldn't work. No stalking. No creeping, no beating, bludgeoning, or murdering. Why? Because of you. Because those were the times you streamed every day and even if you were just answering questions about future videos you'd be in a pretty skimpy outfit with your body ever so barely covered and man sometimes that's all he needed.

Tonight was no different. You started the stream at 6:30 and said you hellos. Your pretty lips pursing as you looked at the camera. "I've been thinking.. last Q&A I brought up that I might do a collab video with the biggest gifter." Toji froze. Completely stopped unbuttoning his pants and was staring directly in your pretty little doe eyes. "So I'll be doing that this stream!" You cheered and somehow the last decent amount of money he made went to you instead of his debt collectors. It would be fine. Well worth it. Especially after he scoped out your place before he even got the confirmation email. Ignoring his usual work in favor of following you around and going between your work studio and apartment.

Finally meeting with you at the studio for a proper in person introduction off camera within the next week. You were shocked to say the least. Honestly you'd assumed he'd be and old man. Ans you told him that with a few chuckles he agreed why you would say that. I mean with the money he dropped on this even he would've assumed to be old. You made the two of you coffee and he watched form behind you as your hips moved to some song you had playin on your small speaker. You were jabbering on about a form to fill out with all of his preferences and anything that was off limits when he pressed his hands to your hips. You jolted a but and laughed cutest like and he smiled down at you. "Why a form when we can give it a run around now? "

"Mm I don't do anything off camera." You said as you slipped out of his old enough to turn your body around, your chests pressed together. "Then turn it on." He wrapped an arm back around your waist pulling you as close as possible and effectively pressing his hard on into your stomach. Relishing in the breathe you took in at the action. Bringing his face closer to yours a hand reaching up to grab the side od your neck and redirecting to kiss right underneath your ear. "C'mon baby let's make this fun go turn of that camera f'me so I can ravage that pretty pussy of yours."

Pulling away all together ge left you stunned as he went back to his seat on the small couch in the room. Chuckling to himself as you hurriedly made sure the camera set up was good and connection was stable before beginning the stream. About to sit down next to the burley mad when he grabbed your wrist and spun you around. Facing each other before he yanked you onto his lap. Both hands roughly gripping the fat of your ass as he rubbed his boner directly onto your already squeezing pussy through your tight legging like shorts. Groaning into your neck as he felt your desperate cunt clenching against him. Small mewls of "no's" and "gotta introduce" slowly turning into nothing but gasps and whines for more.

Laughing at you he bit into your neck. Licking the tender spot afterward. "C'mon princess thought you wanted to introduce us and what we're gonna do today? Cmon love spit it out. Be a good little whore and look at that cute little camera and open wide." You didn't obey. Not as quickly as when people request you to and that annoyed toji pretty fast. He let one hand off your ass and to your cheek to force your face to the side the camera back in your view. "You listen so well to those greedy old men watching you, yanking their dicks and Cumming wishing ut was inside a girl as pretty as you but you won't listen to me? Tch tch tch..such a naughty little fuckin slut." Prying your mouth open with his two thick long fingers he spit into it and watched gow fast you swallowed it.

Finally letting go of your face and flipping the two of you, pushing you back first into the couch and reaching down to rub rough circles onto your clit through your clothing. You cried as you legs instinctively tried to close but with how wedged between him he was that was never gonna happen. "So sensitive aren't ya pretty girl" He whispered looking down at you through his bangs. "Take your little sports bra off. I wanna see those tits of yours for real this time." You messing complied. Nearly tearing it off yourself while hw continued his rough treatment with your clit. "Good girl now squish em together for me, yeah?"

Again you complied and he finally broke through your waistband. Not bothering to actually remove the clothes but wrapping them starting down the front startling you as the air hit your sopping wet cunt. Toji whistled before laughing "you really are a whore aren't you? Look at this so damn wet from so little? You love it rough. Love being treated like a cock sleeve." He continued as he yanked you up by your hips not bothering to lay down to eat you out. Listening to your little gasp in shock and then squeel as he sucked onto your clit. Licking and sucking at the sensitive little bud before moving down to your clenching hole. Shoving his tongue inside and you wrapped your legs around his head. A hand trailing into his hair and attempting to yank his head further down into you. His other hand was able to leave your hip and start rubbing circles onto that pretty little rose bud again and it didn't take long for you to arch your back and scream into nothing that you were cumming. He wasn't nice about putting you down. Simply dropping you onto the couch and letting your legs twitch for a moment as he enjoyed the look you had on your face. All blissed out. You never looked like this on stream before.

Finally flipping you over and pulling your hips up he unbuttoned his pants as he let his hard cock slap against your wet pussy. You body naturally jerked and you gasped as he made sure to arch your back as much as he could. Legs spread, face shoved into the couch, pretty wet cunt on display to him. So wet even through the camera he could see it dripping down your legs. Your bodies twitching led to you naturally grinding down on him and he groaned out. Hands slapping and gripping your ass to see how long you could keep goin before you begged him for more. He then found that was boring and he'd rather make you beg for mercy. Beg him to give you a break cause he just felt oh so good and that's what led him to grab the vase of hus heavy dripping cock and give himself a few pumps. Already lubed up thank to you then grabbing your hips and shoving himself in. You screamed as he felt it out and "ffuuuccckk God damn baby girl your so right f'me. Either your not as much if a slot as I thought you were or I'm the biggest this filthy cunts ever had." He huffed as he shoved your hips further then back. Giving himself time to get used to your squeezing and creaming on him. The way you won't stop moaning and tears stream down yoir face is so pathetic it's adorable.

And thats when he starts to really fuck you. Throwing all of his weight behind each thrust and reading an arm around to rub heavy circles on your clit. Beautiful whines and groans and cries make this all the more worth it. "P-please toji s'too much toji I can't" you whimerper and he huffed. "Be a good little porn start and take it." He growled leaning forward and biting into the back of your neck. Biting and kissing marks into your pretty skin. Finally feeling his hips stutter he pulled out enough to lay you on uour side. One leg over his shoulder to have a better view of your face. Hard, rough, but slow thrusts were breaking you. The rhythm he had you on made it feel like you were cumming over and over and maybe you were. Things were fuzzy. But you definitely felt the hot thick spirt of cum filling you ad he pressed himself as hard as he could letting his public hair rub on your clit and forcing another agonizing orgasm from your body.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to make him a regular.

[byers-bowlcut]

I've seen people say El likes the IDEA of having a boyfriend more than she actually likes her own boyfriend, and jfc it's so true 😭 Like it's all over the show:

Season 1

She's initially attached to Mike because he's the first person to give her shelter, food, genuine human care and just,, not calling CPS immediately. Her feelings for him was born from trauma and dependency in season 1. And throughout the rest of the 3 seasons, we don't see it grow past that.

Also I think it's noticeable in S1 that:

She was uninterested when Mike tried to share his hobbies with her

She also did not seem to mind AT ALL when she questioned if Mike could be her brother. He voice is neutral and curious here, not the least bit repulsed by the thought of being siblings with Mike, like girl does not care 😭

Season 2

This season has zero onscreen moments of Mike and El actually getting to know each other further. They were separated nearly the whole season.

What we DO see:

El's attachment and dependency on Mike that was developed from S1

We also find out how El spent a year of her life watching melodramatic romance films. Many other middle schoolers might identify that relationships in real life don't work like those films. But El is fresh out of lab life, she's literally learning the world through this TV, and has now become obsessed with the IDEA of having a boyfriend/relationship just like that.

Season 3

Again, no onscreen moments of El showing interest in who Mike is as a person.

The very first scene we see of them, she's trying to get him to stop singing along to the song they're listening to. She seems to like kissing Mike. But isn't shown enjoying anything actually characteristic about him, like sharing interests with him such as music.

Hopper indicates that they don't do anything meaningful together either. We see here that before hanging out with Max, El had little sense of her own style, her hobbies, her interests- meaning spending time with Mike for months probably didn't involve many talking points did it?

Also in season 3, El dumps Mike with ZERO hesitation. Then she has the time of her life with Max. The most acknowledgment we get that she's oh so heartbroken is a small frown to Max that her and Mike aren't on best terms. And even that doesn't seem so paramount cause 1 episode later she totally dismisses Mike after he explains how Hopper threatened him. She just tells him maybe Hopper was right 😭😭

It's literally ONLY once she starts becoming in danger that she starts clinging onto him again. I feel like we've seen this film before hm.

Like where are any signs that she likes Mike as an individual, and is falling for who he really is, rather than simply being attached due to trauma, and liking the concept of doing romantic things (ie: kissing, dancing at the ball, etc.)

Season 4

This is the season it becomes the MOST OBVIOUS: El loves the concept of a happy relationship and being loved, but not really loving Mike for who he is. And bringing in Will's feelings just emphasizes this point.

To start, El continues doing all these relationship-y things that she did in the start of S3. She has Mike's name and pictures plastered all over her room. She makes a "Mike box" with his pictures decorated all over it. But the thing is: this is all sort of a façade at this point. We know she's BEEN unhappy with him for months ("From Mike! From Mike! From Mike!"). But with all these items, she's basically trying to convince herself that she's in this happy, fantasy, movie-like relationship, like she probably watched in hopper's cabin in season 2.

And then, there's the sheer difference between her and WILL in their feelings for Mike. We see it right off the bat when Mike comes to the airport: Will and El both have plans to give Mike something.

Will plans to give him a painting he worked extremely hard on. The painting is a connection of what they BOTH love: DnD, and it includes their friends who also play the game. It's very personal and immediately touches Mike. What's more is, the painting illustrates the exact qualities about Mike that Will loves: his leadership, his bravery, his guidance. This painting literally spells out to us that Will truly loves Mike for WHO HE IS.

Meanwhile, El plans on giving Mike a fun reunion date. She has the whole day planned out. And immediately: we see that what she wants to do doesn't actually takes Mike's interests and personality into consideration. You can see and hear the strain in his voice when he talks about "burritos for breakfast" 😬

You can see how he's not that relaxed at rinkomania, and nervous about skating, saying he's clumsy. He probably would've much preferred movies and playing a board game, over skating. But El has her own ideas. When she brings Mike to rinkomania, she tries to act really cool about it. She wants to impress him, wants to seem like she fits in and belongs.

Her present was never actually ABOUT Mike, and about loving Mike that she would plan this huge date for him. Her present was about her desperately wanting to have this cool date like every other normal teen girl might, with a normal boyfriend, and make it seem like they have a happy perfect relationship.

And then finally we reach their S4 fight. I find it extremely interesting how Hopper's cabin is framed in the background during their whole fight. It's almost like an indication that her desperate need to be loved by Mike stems from her trying to cope with losing Hopper and the hole left by him, that clearly did not exist when she happily dumped Mike in S3.

In their fight, when the topic of bullying comes up, Mike says he understands her, but El is quick to say he doesn't. She thinks Mike doesn't understand her, but this is just as much her not understanding HIM as well.

She doesn't get the extent of Mike's insecurities (definitely partially a result of bullying), something that Mike later divulges to WILL and not her. If the writers wanted to show us how much El understands Mike and loves him for who he is, her and Mike would work through his insecurities in their rs together, NOT through a middle man.

Overall it's pretty striking that we've never once heard El actually compliment Mike, or articulate, or even show what exactly she loves about him through four whole seasons. I mean...

Attachment to him due to trauma or grief =/= loving him for who he is.

Wanting to BE loved =/= loving him for who he is.

So really in terms of a relationship, what El ACTUALLY wants is the concept/idea of a regular boyfriend, and a happy easy relationship, all in an attempt to feel normal. And that's why we see them fall apart the way they do in season 4, and why Will is currently so involved. Because Will DOES see and love Mike for exactly who he is.

[genderlessdude92]

Hi, I really love your work! If your requests are open and if it's allowed, can I request for headcanons of Vox/Val/Alastor/Lucifer with their biological baby w reader?? I'm sorry if this is weird I just die for family dynamics😭😭 like, how would they act, would they be present or neglectful, and that stuff!! Ik it's impossible to have a child in hell but HEY. ITS FICTIONAL. It's really your decision if this is super fluff or super angst, but personally I believe it would be angst because it's hell and they are really famous 😭 THANKU

AUTHOR RESPONSE: First ask but urmmmmmm OFC OFC OFC!!! I’m all in for dis req :3 I feel like i absolutely will eat up Al’s part of this post so stay tuned. Other ones are questionable because idk if it’s OOC or not but…I’m just a girl!! >.< (I’m a genderless dude as you can see from the name ^^) I’m sorry i’m not funny- These might be short btw im rushing a little bit bc i’m trying to start a multi-chapter fix yay awesome but uhhh i’m still having fun with this 💋

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AL, VOX, VAL, & LUCI WITH THEIR BIOLOGICAL CHILD

(and reader that gave birth to em somehow <3)

PAIRINGS: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, Vox x Reader, Valentino x Fem!Reader (ALL SEPARATE) SUMMARY: Alastor, Lucifer, Vox, and Valentino are dads now. Aw shucks. (Headcannons) WARNINGS: MINORS DNI. Breeding kink, (obv bc Val is in here), Val mention, reader is female because they literally gave birth to them, mentions of pregnancy, birth, Valentino being a weird fuck, Valentino again, unhealthy duck obsession in Lucifer’s area, Breastfeeding, Cannibalism, physical slaps, everybody being nervous shots but Vox, really rushed, lmk if i missed anything pookie (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Property of @l4zyb0n35 and @genderlessdude92

Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!

〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*･ﾟ♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~

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-Alastor is 100% nervous at first since he has to be the dad and his dad wasn’t…the best!! ^^

-But also doesn’t want to back away because, I mean, it’s kinda rude to just walk away from your creation that you INTENDED to make real.

-This gentleman’s baby was not an accident, I assure you.

-Alastor would absolutely dangle the baby off the edge of a balcony just to tease you.

-Also tried to feed the baby devil meat to make it a cannibal.

-Suprisingly worked.

-Um.

-He probably got taught to knit by Rosie so if the baby ever needs clothes he’s on it.

-Cradles the baby during his radio show hours, aw, and if the baby ever cries he immediately cuts to a quick song break.

-If both you and Alastor are like completely booked and can’t take care of the baby, he’s giving it to Rosie.

-Rosie can’t? Charlie.

-Charlie can’t? Cancelling all plans.

-He just cares for his bloodline, yeah?

-If the baby ever needs like a chewy sensory toy, he’s going to try and get one that resembles Lucifer.

-Like and apple or a snake OOO A SNAKE NVM

-Snake is better since it resembles two ppl mwuhehehe

-Alastor would be a great girl dad but in general i think he would be rlly doting to them.

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

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-Oh, you thought Alastor was nervous?

-Oh, you’re so funny.

-‘Cuz Lucifer is QUAKING once he finds out you’re pregnant.

-and expecting.

-…and that it’s alive and out the womb.

-Basicslly all because he wasn’t really in Charlie’s life that much.

-But you told him that this can be a second chance?

-Which made him cry more than he was before.

-Yikes.

-Feeds the baby the most fine meals to ever exist for a baby to eat, even tried to sneak in some wine in its milk bottle.

-Then earned a slap at the back of his head from yours truly.

-You.

-I see him as a helicopter parent at first, but then is just chill once they grow more older.

-But he’s like, devoting his immortal LIFE to this baby 24/7.

-The nursery is themed ducks.

-Everywhere.

-Sometimes you get dizzy when you walk in.

-He even wanted to name the baby duck.

-You slapped him again, of course.

-This man acts like a 8th grade frat boy whenever you breast feed the baby like he just scoots away gagging.

-Another slap.

IM SORRY-

-One time in bed you guys were like getting freaky or sum and then you but his nip

-“Honey…what was that?”

-“That’s just how it feels, Luci.”

-“…What?-“

-“When i breastfeed B/N.”

-“…Ew.”

-“BITCH I-“

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

-Bro is so confident in being a dad.

-The first day after the baby was born he cancelled all his special guests on his show just for the baby to be the only one.

-This man is fucking insane.

-Puts this baby on his. advertisements.

-We’re talking billboards, pop-ups, etc.

-Only lets his supervisor babysit the baby when needed.

-Don’t expect Velvette or Val to even step foot near this baby without Vox in the room.

-It’s like a sibling love-hate relationship :D

-Now i wouldn’t say this baby was on purpose…most likely?

-But honestly, it might happen again because he thinks you’re hot pregnant.

-Who said that what.

-Omg who typed that???

-Fuck this is so short uhhh He like puts on child shows for the baby if they sit in his lap.

-But the baby never ever sleeps in the bed you guys share.

-not in a million years.

-Puts those shirts that look like tuxedos on the baby but they’re just printed on.

-Feeds the baby deer meat.

-Has a deer head mounted above the baby’s crib.

-Takes him deer hunting.

-Vox just needs em to learn early.

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-Valentino was “so, so careful” when you guys did it.

-and this baby was 100% and accident.

-obviously you guys couldn’t abortion because like some health reason.

-Val cried that night.

-It was kinda funny that he was crying to keeping a baby.

sorry not sorry

-When the baby is born,

-Oh god should i write that

-Uh

-He’s probably recording.

-Not posting just like…saving it.

-Guys, come on, it Valentino, you should’ve seen this coming.

-Deletes it later though fuck that’s hilarious.

-He starts whining and crying when he sees you breastfeeding.

-“Your wasting the milk, mi precioso, are you kidding me?”

-He’s like in the middle of being a good dad and a bad dad.

-Suprised he made it that far on the scale.

-whenever he’s busy, he gives the baby to some random star and tells them to bring them back by like 10:30 or smth.

-with a coffee order. Very iconic.

-Same idea with Vox and liking you pregnant, and tried to get you pregnant again but you ask him why he doesn’t have a condom on if you don’t have your pills.

-He gets frustrated when that happens lol.

-Can’t wake up the baby!

proceeds to wake them up each night

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END NOTES: zomg this was sososo fun to write <3 But it’s so fucking short and i didn’t even realize until i was done. I’m actually so sorry. I still like these headcannons, very humorous, very real, thank you for asking me to make this because this is my first ask i got, i still have exactly 16 more, so ur just a little lucky duck, asker. Support is appreciated! New multi-chapter fix i’m working on might be posted on Friday-Sunday!! Baiiii!!!!

-Lynn

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Masterlist Link

[yan-lorkai]

Hello! :) I just really love all of your works for Hellsing and an idea popped into my mind. Could you write an Alucard x darling!Reader where Integra sends them on a mission to Brazil in disguise as a newlyweds on their honeymoon? I'm just sooo obsessed with his Riocard look, I thought it would be so fun to imagine! <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: To be honest I get you anon. He is so handsome in his RioCard form, with his little glass full of blood and wearing that suit 🤭💕💕. @marieisaghost

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, reader is unsettled by Alucard but both of them keep flirting with one another lol, mention of killing, gn!reader

"Lulu, you travel a lot, don't you?" You turn your face to stare at him, gorgeous smile already on his lips as soon as that little nickname left you. "What is it like in Brazil? How are the people?"

He thought about. Ancient as he was, Alucard was present to see or hear about all major events from humanity. And later on, to visit those same countries, as you two are doing now - hunting for a potentially dangerous vampire who climbed the stairs to the success, he was so important now, so powerful but Integra had her way of getting you and Alucard into one of his big parties.

After a few seconds pondering, Alucard glanced at his glass full of blood, long, dark hair hiding his eyes from you as he chuckled.

"The air smells like golden hour and the birds sing so loud, as if they wish for you to sing among them. The Brazilians are like fairies, if you will, as they can't lie but contour whatever promise they made with polite words and jokes. And the common folk are very affectionate." He sipped from his glass, little trinket of blood running down his lower lip before he could lick it. You laughed at that. "And their words sounds like a gentle song, so familiar yet so distante you can't quite remember where you have heard it."

The gentle hum of the plane's engines filled the cabin, the dim lighting casting soft shadows against the sleek leather seats. You sat beside Alucard, watching the clouds drift by through the small window. A moment goes by before you answer him.

"Quiet poetical, don't you think?" You mused, imagining the country based on his description. "Well, I'm looking forward to see it. We will be able to sightsee after the mission is done, right?"

Alucard turned his head slowly, he was still sipping from his glass, sometimes just shaking it to see the red liquid sway gently. His crimson eyes glimmered with amusement, lips curling into a slow, knowing smile. He always found your mortal, innocent optimism endearing — if not a bit naive. But he never discouraged it outright. No, he enjoyed watching you dangle the idea of freedom, without realizing he was the one holding the string.

He was the one who chose you for this role. So beautiful and all his, pretending to be his cute little spouse.

“Sightseeing?” Alucard repeated, his voice low, filled with the silky cadence you knew too well. He leaned back further into his seat, fingers steepled together as if considering your words. “That all depends. If the mission goes well and... if you behave, darling.”

You shifted uncomfortably, pretending to be preoccupied with the view outside. Sometimes Alucard took his jokes too far, the line between truth and joke unclear.

“Well, I just thought… if we’re pretending to be newlyweds, we might as well enjoy the facade a little more!” You explained your point of view, trying to sound casual. “A little sightseeing wouldn’t hurt. Husband.”

Alucard’s chuckle was soft but dark, a sound that sent a shiver down your spine. It was a beautiful sound yet terrifying in other circumstances. “Oh, you’ve been enjoying this facade more than you admit, darling” He teased, his eyes narrowing as he studied you. “Playing the role of my beloved spouse… It suits you.”

His words were laced with a possessiveness that you couldn’t ignore. You swallowed hard, your heart pounding as you tried to maintain composure under his piercing gaze. Alucard thrived on your uncertainty — on the way you balanced between curiosity and frustration in equal measures. He loved seeing you struggle. You knew that. He was an asshole like that sometimes.

“Maybe,” You replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper and your face heating up. Ultimately it was better to let him have this little win or he'll pout and throw a tantrum the entire time. “But it’s hard to keep up the act sometimes, you’re very convincing. I fear I won't be as convincing as you are.”

Alucard’s smile widened, a dark, predatory gleam flickering in his eyes. He leaned toward you, his cold fingers brushing against your cheek, tracing the line of your jaw with a delicate yet possessive touch. He seemed like he wanted to say something, a secret passing through his eyes, black long hair hiding his face like a curtain, and then he pulled back.

“Rest now, my love,” Alucard said, his voice softer as he reclined back in his seat but the command was clear. "We still have a few hours until we get there. And perhaps, I’ll indulge you with that sightseeing you’re so fond. There's so very interesting places that are open at night.”

You rolled your eyes. "Aye aye captain."

Yoou reached out, your hand sliding around his arm and tugging him toward you. His eyes widened slightly, not in surprise but in curiosity. You didn’t say a word, there was no need. All that mattered was the closeness, the warmth, even if it came from the cold embrace of a vampire. Without a word, you rested your head against his arm, and he allowed you to whatever you wanted, his lips curling into a soft smirk as he watched you for a few seconds.

/⁠～⁠♡

The private plane had landed hours ago, and the sun now hung low on the horizon, casting the hotel room in a warm, golden glow. You stood in front of the full-length mirror, adjusting the fabric of your outfit, a carefully chosen disguise for the next phase of the mission. The luxurious suite you were in felt almost too extravagant, too different from what you were used but trying to argument with Alucard was near impossível. And he wanted to stay at the most expensive place just for the sake of it.

Greedy vampire, you thought, he wouldn't even be able to sleep. After all, he's used to sleep at morning and you, as a Hellsing soldier, is more than used to sleep in whatever you can lie on during night. Extravagance was not your style.

Behind you, Alucard moved with quiet grace, his eyes fixed on you in the mirror. He had already shed his coat, his shirt untucked slightly, looking every bit the devilish rogue he was. He stepped closer, slipping a gloved hand around your waist, guiding you as you fumbled with the buttons on your collar.

"Let me," He asked, his voice low and smooth, as he brushed your hands away and began fastening the buttons for you. His fingers worked skillfully, but his touch lingered a bit too long. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, though a small smile tugged at your lips.

"You know, I can dress myself," You teased him, raising an eyebrow at him through the mirror.

"Of course you can," Alucard replied with a smirk, not missing a beat. "But why would I miss the chance to enjoy this view?" His hands slid up to adjust the collar, his eyes flickering with amusement.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. "You’re impossible, you know that?"

Alucard chuckled softly, his breath warm against your neck as he leaned in just a bit closer. "I’m many things, love. Impossible is only one of them." He finished with the last button, his hands lingering on your shoulders, fingers tracing the fabric as though he couldn’t help but touch you. You turned slightly to face him, a playful glint in your eyes.

"So husband, what's the plan?" You teased him, emphasizing the word, adjusting your sleeves as he watched you with that ever-present intensity. "Or you're just want to take care of everything alone while I stay helpless by your side, like a damsel?."

Alucard raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smirk. "Playing the damsel role certainly is fun but not safe. Besides it's counterproductive. I'II catch our target while you search his office for those documents."

You nodded, trying to think of ways to enter the target's office, but the warmth in Alucard's eyes made it impossible. His thumb traced small circles against your waist, and though you hated to admit it, his presence was comforting in moments like these, when the mission loomed large and the stakes were high. He knew how you soothe your worries and fears with just a few gestures.

"Focus, Alucard," You said, but your voice lacked any real conviction.

"I am focused," He replied smoothly, his lips dangerously close to yours. "Just… not on the mission right now."

You felt your heartbeat quicken, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned into him just a little, your fingers brushing the fabric of his shirt. "You’re incorrigible."

His eyes gleamed as he leaned down, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, his voice a low, teasing purr. "And you love it."

You laughed softly, shaking your head again as you turned back toward the mirror. "You’re lucky you’re helping with this mission. Otherwise, I’d leave you to flirt with yourself.

Alucard chuckled, stepping back slightly, though his hand never left your waist. "Oh, I can flirt with myself just fine. But it’s much more fun with you."

You met his gaze in the mirror, your reflection showing the playful tension between you two. Despite everything, the danger, the complexity of your relationship, moments like this felt oddly natural. Easy, even.

"Fine," you said, adjusting the last piece of your outfit and putting your weapons in their proper places. "After this mission and you taking me to sightsee, you should really take me on a date, Alucard. I wouldn't say no."

Alucard’s smirk softened into a more genuine smile as he pressed a kiss to your temple, his hand squeezing your waist lightly. "Whatever you want, darling. But until then…" His eyes sparkled mischievously. "We make quite the team, don’t we?"

You couldn’t argue with that. Despite the chaos, despite the danger, there was something undeniably magnetic about being at his side. Even if he drove you crazy half the time and acted strange sometimes.

"Yeah," You said with a sigh, a smile tugging at your lips. "We do."

The night air was crisp as you stepped out of the grand hotel, the city’s lights reflecting off the polished black limousine waiting at the curb. The distant hum of life in the city created a soft backdrop of noise, but here, in front of the sleek vehicle, everything felt quieter, more intimate. Alucard, as always, had his hand lightly resting on your lower back as he guided you toward the car.

“After you, love,” He said smoothly, his voice laced with amusement as he opened the door for you. His crimson eyes gleamed under the streetlights, and even in the dim evening, he looked effortlessly sharp in his tailored suit, dark and dangerously handsome.

You gave him a playful smirk before slipping into the limousine’s spacious interior. The leather seats were cool against your skin as you settled in, and a faint, luxurious scent lingered in the air. Alucard followed, closing the door behind him as he took the seat beside you.

As the driver began pulling away from the curb, the city lights blurred past the tinted windows, creating a dreamlike atmosphere. Alucard stretched his arm along the back of the seat, his fingers lightly brushing against your shoulder in a way that felt casual yet intentional.

“Excited?” hHe asked, his voice low and teasing as his eyes flickered to yours. “Or is it nerves I sense?”

You glanced at him, rolling your eyes slightly. “Excited isn’t the word I’d use. This is a mission, remember? Focus, Alucard.”

He chuckled, his hand sliding down to lightly squeeze your shoulder. “I’m always focused. It’s you who seems to be on edge, dragul meu.” His voice was a playful murmur, but there was that undercurrent of seriousness you knew all too well. He thrived in these high-stakes situations, while you, well, you preferred a little less danger and a little more simplicity.

You preferred a better plan, you preferred having more allies. Yet, you had to make it do with just Alucard by your side. Either way, you knew he wouldn't let you hurt yourself.

“I’m not on edge,” You retorted lightly, turning to face him fully. “I’m just thinking about the plan. We’re supposed to be subtle, blend in, gather intel. You remember the whole ‘don’t draw attention to ourselves’ part, right?”

Alucard’s lips curled into that familiar, devilish smirk. “Subtlety isn’t always the most fun, but I suppose I can behave for one night.” He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Of course, if things get boring, I might have to… stir the pot a little.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “You’re incorrigible.”

“I prefer the term ‘charming,’” He corrected you, eyes gleaming mischievously.

The limousine cruised through the city, the lights outside glowing brighter as you approached the heart of the bustling nightlife. The party you were heading to was in one of the city’s most elite venues — a towering glass building that loomed in the distance, sparkling against the night sky. The event was exclusive, crawling with high-society types, all hiding secrets beneath their polished exteriors. You and Alucard were here to uncover one of those secrets.

As the limousine neared the grand entrance, you adjusted your clothes, making sure everything was in place. Alucard watched you with an almost predatory gleam in his eyes, though there was a softness in the way his gaze lingered.

“You look stunning,” He murmured, his voice softer now, devoid of the usual teasing edge. “They won’t know what hit them.”

You met his eyes, feeling a flutter in your chest despite yourself. “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”

He smirked, leaning in just a bit closer. “Just ‘not so bad?’ I think I deserve more credit than that.”

You nudged him lightly with your elbow. “Let’s just get through this without any chaos, alright? Then I’ll give you all the credit you want.”

The limousine came to a smooth stop in front of the towering venue, the driver stepping out to open the door for you both. Alucard was out first, offering his hand to help you out, his grip firm but gentle. As you stepped out onto the red carpet, the flashes of cameras and the murmurs of the crowd were already starting.

He pulled you close, his arm slipping around your waist as you both made your way toward the entrance. You could feel the weight of his presence beside you, commanding and magnetic.

“We’ll be the perfect couple tonight,” Alucard whispered into your ear as you ascended the stairs, his breath warm against your skin. “Just follow my lead.”

You glanced up at him, your lips curving into a small smile. “I’m used to that by now.”

With that, you both stepped through the grand doors into the glittering party, where the real game was about to begin.

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[poundstonaira]

Mascara - Albert Wesker x F!Reader

A/N - There is one scene thats a bit ... uncomfortable (?) but for the sake of my trauma and others, I was NOT going to write a non-con scene. Absolutely not. There's is barely any smut in this because I believe storytelling can be good without smut. It's not everyday sex ngl.

CW: Obsessed Wesker, Stalking, minor dubcon intercourse scene, Cat and Mouse vibes, Dry Humping, Gun Violence, Age Gap, Kidnapping, Wesker being an Asshole, Captain and Lieutenant, Wesker is bad at feelings, bad story with HEA.

Song Inspiration: Mascara - Deftones

Word Count: 10,639

Summary: Captain Albert Wesker of STARS is obsessed with his Lieutenant. He feels as if soon, he'll sink into her. What does she think of that?

1. LONG, SHADY EYES

“Lieutenant, have you seen how weird the Captain has been acting?” Your fellow teammate, Jill told you while you guys were hanging out at the front office of the police station, drinking your hot chocolate after a quick mission. It was early December, which means it was snowing heavily, and everyone needed a quick hot refreshment after saving the citizens of Racoon City.

“What do you mean?” You raised an eyebrow, not knowing what Jill meant as you stared into her light blue eyes in confusion. 

“I don’t know… but something is off about him…” She said, twirling her cup of hot chocolate in her hand, her look stern.

Recently, Captain Albert Wesker has been more tired-looking than usual. It must’ve been either the endless hours of paperwork, the amount of calls to the police department for them to summon the members of STARS to handle some of the toughest crimes in the city, or the reports of countless women going missing after leaving a club late at night. Or, could it have been something else? 

It was dark outside, and the snow from the sky was falling down relentlessly. It was brutal out there, which is why barely anyone came in to work today. From STARS, it was only Captain Wesker, Jill, Chris, Rebecca, and you.

“Like what?” You asked the short-haired brunette, taking a sip of your sweet hot chocolate, savoring the delightful taste. 

“I think…” Jill paused, appearing that she was thinking hard about her answer into the realms of daze before she spoke again. “It has something to do with you. ” 

Your heart moved down a bit, but it didn’t drop to your stomach… yet. You were good at your job, you were flexible when it came to hand-to-hand combat, intelligent when it came to planning solutions in tight situations, strong when it came to holding your own, wise when it came to everything else, and overall so stunning. 

“ Me ?” You pointed at yourself, looking around to see if JIll got you confused with anybody else, ignoring the distant footsteps coming closer from the stairs. “I literally have been doing all of his commands without question and I’ve been doing them flawlessly. Why the hell would he have a problem with me?” You scoffed, a little scared but irritated. 

“Lieutenant, the Captain wants to see you in his office.” Chris spoke in a worried tone, coming down from the stairs. 

Oh? 

Now your heart really dropped to your stomach. That’s not good. 

“Did he state why?” You questioned Chris, taking another sip of your drink.

Captain Wesker is not the one to call people to his office for anything, really; only if they have been slacking on the job or actual imperative reasons. This must be serious. 

You might just be in for one hell a night. 

“No… He just said that you should come and that it’s urgent. ” 

In unison, you and Jill both flashed each other a look that included wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Urgent? 

“Oh…” You muttered, your heart dropping once more. 

“Should we wait for you?” Chris asked, standing next to Jill. You nervously sipped down the rest of your hot chocolate before you shook your head and threw the cup at the nearby bin, already walking up the stairs towards what could be your doom. 

“No… you guys should get going before the blizzard gets worse.” You implied, waving at them while still walking up the stairs. 

“Are you sure?”  Chris insisted. 

“Yes. Don’t worry. I doubt it's anything serious. The Captain is probably just in one of his moods. I’ll be fine.” You let out a heavy sigh, hoping this little meeting with the Captain isn’t anything too serious. 

…

“Come in.” You didn’t even have to knock before you heard Wesker’s voice from the other side of the door. You opened the door to see your Captain automatically staring at you. In the dimly lit room, you feel his presence before you see him. As you enter, he occupies the chair with a predatory ease, his frame sprawling, arms confidently resting on each side. The lamplight casts shadows on his angular features, accentuating the intensity in his cold-blue eyes fixed on you.

“Hello, Captain.” You greeted him quietly, your usual, calm persona already leaving you as soon as you felt his aura. It was chilling for some reason. Very strange. 

You closed the door behind you for more privacy as you stood by it, not wanting to move away from said door because of how nervous you were at this moment. 

That was your first mistake: closing the door. 

“Hello there, Lieutenant.” He greeted you back. “Why don’t you take a seat?” Wesker asked you with a grin, eyeing the chair opposite his desk. 

He seems so eager to talk to me, this is a little strange. You thought, needing some space from Wesker. 

“I don’t want to-” You attempted to protest, waving your hand but his voice caught you off-guard.

“It was a command, Lieutenant.” Wesker’s grunt voice and his intense, chilling blue-eye stare filled your body with chills and the small hairs on your arms and the back of your neck rose. Did you really do something wrong?

Your gentle persistence faltered as you slowly took the seat in front of your Captain, both pairs of eyes still focused on one another as his pair of cool blue eyes made you a little queasy. You had to look away or else you would’ve started to physically shake. Your gentle, feminine eyes started to wander around his office. It was quite dim– very dim, actually. The only things that were giving it light were the two lamps by either side of his desk. There was the S.T.A.R.S insignia embedded into the wall behind him, and the walls painted, stained with an ugly shade of blue, to you.

You started to speak up after the moment of silence. “Chris told me that it was urgent for me to talk to you…” You spoke, fingers from your left hand playing with the chrysanthemum tattoo on your right hand.  “Is there something wrong?” You asked, still not giving your captain eye contact, instead, giving your visual attention to the tattoo of your favorite flower on your hand.

“You’re really good at your job, Lieutenant.”  You look up at him, raising an eyebrow at his statement. It wasn’t that you were insecure or anything, matter of fact, you knew you were good at your job. You were the Lieutenant of S.T.A.R.S Alpha team for crying out loud. Why is he telling you such an obvious fact? 

“I know I am. Thank you.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“No need to get cocky, dearheart .” Wesker smirked, his voice low and grunt. 

Oh. That’s different. Dearheart? You wanted to mentally ignore that last word, but it stuck with you.

“Is that why you called me here today? To compliment me?” You ask him, tilting your head to the side, giving Wesker a tired look. If he really wanted to praise you for your work, Albert Wesker should be on his hands and knees before your feet, thanking you for your existence, cherishing you with a raise and all the gifts you’ve wanted in life. Instead, he’s just front sitting you, staring at you in the most creepy, gnarly, and uncomfortable way ever. 

“You're a very useful asset to the team. I was looking through your data and reports and I couldn’t help but be impressed by you.” He praised you. 

“So… what else? That’s it?” You ask him, rolling your eyes at his words. 

“What’s the rush, my dear ?” He questioned you, pale, wintry cold, blue eyes boring into your siren ones which were laced with mascara on the eyelashes. He leaned in over the desk, making you slowly move back.

“You’re doing nothing but complimenting me, I thought you called me to your office for something actually important-” You tried to get a point but he cut you off. 

“ You are important, Lieutenant. Which is why I wanted to see you, and only you .” 

At this point, you’re convinced this is an imposter, not your Captain. Your brain cannot wrap around this new behavior at all. All you know is that your guard needs to be up.

“Where are you going with this, Captain? Are you drunk?” You ask him, annoyance and small fear tinted across your voice. 

That was your second mistake; asking that question.  

“Tch. How bold of you to ask me that blunt question.” He scoffed, shaking his head. 

“Well excuse me for my rudeness but I am very tired and I want to go home, and you’re wasting my time.” You stood up from the seat, walking towards the door, you heard Wesker sigh but thought nothing much of it. You were irritated because you actually thought you did something wrong, but no, your Captain is in a peculiar mood today and that’s pretty much it. (It seems like.)

Before your hand could even touch the doorknob, you felt a strong arm wrapped around your waist. Your heart wasted no time dropping to the pits of your stomach. Slowly, you slightly turn your head around to see Wesker’s eyes staring right into your soul, again. This time, you feel a sense of fear arising on your body as he looks a little tense. 

“Where do you think you’re going, Lieutenant ?” His voice this time low, laced with dangerous venom from the bottom of his throat. This time, your body felt on edge, feeling weak everywhere and even light-headed.

“H-Home...” You stuttered, this time looking down at where his hand held you on your waist, where your other chrysanthemum tattoo was. You lay your right hand on his to see how hard he was gripping you and oh , his grip was secure and tight. 

“I don’t remember saying that I dismissed you. Why are you so eager to leave?” He whispered into your ear, that transatlantic accent sending shivers down your spine and his cold breath blew onto your neck.

You bit your lip, trying to hold your breath because of how scared you were. There is nothing worse than feeling the looming doom of something bad happening to you, and you don’t have much control over it. “...” You need to talk, you need to speak up. “Because… I want to go home.” You blurted out. It wasn’t a lie. 

A chuckle with malicious intent just left Wesker’s mouth as his grip on you tightened, even from behind, you flinched as he rubbed himself against your behind, letting out a deep groan. 

“You can’t go just yet, my dear. I haven't finished enjoying my time with you.” He then said, his other hand slithering under your long-sleeve uniform shirt and onto one of your breasts. 

“Let me go, Captain...” Your voice cracked and tears were on the verge of spilling onto your eyes, you were shaking, terrified with no one to help you but yourself. It was only Chris, Jill, Wesker and you in the office when you were downstairs but because you told your two colleagues to leave, you only have yourself to use to defend yourself.

“No…” Wesker whispered again, letting out a little laugh as he could hear the fear in your voice. He squeezed your breast, making you gasp. “I don’t think I will.” The blond male responded slyly, pushing himself roughly against your backside again. He was hard. 

“H-Huh?” You muttered. You were sweating, shaking, crying, trying to wiggle out of this tightly, evil grasp but it didn’t work. Wesker was too strong, too evil, too good.  

“Kiss me, Lieutenant.” He spoke, leaning into the side of your neck and giving it one long lick. You visibly gagged as you felt the cold saliva on your neck. It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command. 

“Fuck no!” You screamed, finally growing the courage to turn around, elbow him and slap him in the face. He let out an angry groan as he held his face with his hand, he wasn’t bleeding, but he was bruised. 

That was your third mistake; slapping him.

“I don’t think you have a choice in the matter, Lieutenant .” He laughed at you from where he was standing, looking at you again. This time he stared at you, licking his lips as he eyed that voluptuous body of yours. You cursed to yourself, looking back at the door, and then back to Wesker.

This was your chance. You had to run out of here. And so you did, not turning back once as you ran full throttle to your office, grabbing your stuff and out of the station. 

Damn, it was cold outside. 

Luckily, you parked right at the parking lot since there weren’t many people in today due to the heavy snow. Panting with fear, you turned on your car, got inside, turned on the engine and quickly moved out of the station.

2. I'M ALL ABOUT HER SHADE TONIGHT

It was the next day and you were not sure what was real and what was false. All you know is that you did not want to go into work today. That was for sure. 

But, you can’t have it your way. Missing work without a prior notice is very dangerous at the Racoon City Police office. 

You were currently sitting in front of your vanity. Your hair was a mess, lips bruised from you biting them, your eyes were tinted with red , and you had dark circles under your eyes from staying up all night, trying to listen for signs of intruders… or your captain waiting to kidnap you. You did not like this, at all, whatsoever. 

Your tired eyes move toward the handgun that lays in front of you. It was a Colt 1851 Navy Revolver that was given to you from your father as a gift for making into S.T.A.R.S . From all your years of working at the station, you never would have thought that you might have to use it on your colleagues, let alone Captain Wesker for crying out loud. Who knew he was such a scum of a man?

Yesterday night was something you still couldn’t wrap your head around; Captain Albert Wesker assaulted you. 

Those words don’t even make any sense. Your captain, who is always wearing those dark sunglasses even when the scene is more dark than midnight with no lights in the street, who is always serious and time for absolutely nobody’s bullshit, who is always picking on Chris for even the slightest of mistakes, who is always serious about his job and the safety of the citizens… sexually assaulted you. It doesn’t matter how many times you rapidly blink, or how much water you drink, or how many hours you stay up, because that is exactly what happened. 

And there is no way to justify that. Your superior took advantage of you.

At the same time you could try telling Jill and Chris what happened but, what can they even do? That’ll just cause more chaos and you’ll still have to face Wesker in the end. 

Do you even have a way to confront the son of a bitch? Probably not. But, you’ll never let him get away with this scott-free, that’s for sure. 

“I need to do something about this…” a mutter came out of your mouth as you eye the wooden handled six shooter on your vanity.  “ before I don’t even belong to myself anymore. ” 

Or, do you just ignore him like he doesn’t exist? That can probably work but it is still you too who close the station down when the day ends… and the stow refuses to stop falling.

“No…” You look at the revolver again. I won’t do anything just yet, not until he strikes first. I’ll just ignore him for now. 

…

You slowly make your way to the STARS Station once again, the snow still falling down.

Can I really do this? Can I ignore him?

You find the snow is starting to fall harder, and the wind begins to pick up.

It seems like the weather does not want to help me either.

You see yourself approaching the doors of the STARS station, and then walking inside.

I have to do this.

You see Wesker standing just at the top of the staircase, even with his stupid shades on, you can still feel his predatory gaze targeting you. Your heart automatically drops to your stomach without failure. 

"Hey, Lieutenant." He waves with a smile on his face. 

You feel like a million thoughts are going through your mind, your mind racing.

I have to ignore him. Be normal. Don't show him anything is wrong.

You take off your Ushanka and shake your head so your hair isn’t flat, so your hair can look free and full of life. Luckily, Chris blocks Wesker out of your vision by standing right in front of you. "Snowy day, isn't it, Lieutenant?" Chris says to you.

You shake your head as you see Chris greet you, and say the same thing to him.

Be normal.

You try to just do your work, as if nothing ever happened.

As the morning progresses, you see Wesker a few times, but you ignore him. You're glad to see that he hasn't approached you or said a word to you yet.

Is he going to let it all slide? Forget about it?

Seeing him has made my heart drop to my stomach multiple times... and it looks like I'm gonna have to stay here overtime again. You think to yourself, and you look at your surroundings carefully, biting your lip. 

You see Wesker a few more times throughout the day, and you feel your heart sink a little with each and every time you see him.

That bastard. Is he going to do anything to me today? Am I just going to have to try to avoid him today as well?

As afternoon sets in, you see Wesker a few more times. Yet, he has yet to approach you or say anything.

Am I safe…? Did he just let this whole thing slide already? Why? Was he just having fun with me?

I don't think I'm safe but I just need to keep ignoring him... I'm only gonna be here until 8:30PM today.

You continue to see Wesker throughout your shift. He's clearly aware that you're also there and seeing him. Yet for some reason, he does not approach you. Nor does he say anything.

Why? Is he just playing with me? Is he just planning something more sinister and twisted when I leave?

You keep doing your work, trying to ignore his very visible presence in the same room as you.

Don't look at him, don't say anything to him, don't even smell him.

As the work day continues, you continue to ignore Wesker. You do all of this, thinking the whole time that...

Maybe he just plans to try and force himself onto me again sometime later after work?

That's it. That's what he's doing. He'll just try it again, only this time he will be better prepared to hide it from the other members of the STARS Alpha team.

Tssk... Shit. What should I do?

That's when you finally see Wesker approaching you now, his eyes still on you.

This is it...

He's going to do something right now.

You feel a rush of anxiety now rush through you, and your heart begins to pound in your chest. He's going to do it again.

I'm screwed... fuck.

Wesker is now standing in front of you, his eyes still locked onto you.

He's going to force himself onto me again. I just know it.

How the hell do I get out of this?!

You turn your head to look at him in fear. Your body is already shaking. You don’t even have your gun on you. You left it in your office. What should I do? No. What CAN I do?

Wesker sees your reaction, and a small smile begins to creep across his face.

He knew this would work. He's not even trying to hide it.

He reaches his hand out, and before you can even say or do anything. Wesker is holding you in a tight grip.

Oh no... oh no... oh no…

Wesker begins to slowly move you off from the desks you both were working at and away from the team.

No one is seeing what's happening... They just think we're working together.

They think nothing is happening right now...

Wesker begins to slowly move you towards one of the closed meeting rooms. He's going to force himself onto you right now and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Someone… please… help me. 

No one is seeing this happening and Wesker continues to hold your small frame in his tight grip. As he pushes you towards the closed meeting room, he begins to force the door open.

He pushes the door open and forces you inside now, his grip still not loosening.

As you begin to hear the noise of the snow outside again, you see Wesker close the door and lock it.

Oh god... oh god... oh god...

Wesker looks at you now, his face getting closer to you.

Now what...? What's he going to do?

You’re still breathing heavily, shaking, feeling all so uneasy. 

“...” You don’t say anything, but you just stare at him. Wesker leans in now, his lips getting closer to your ear.

"Hello, Lieutenant."

“...” You still can’t talk. 

Wesker's voice now whispers into your ear.

"Did you miss me...Lieutenant?"

He's talking to me as if nothing even happened. He's acting as if what he did was no big deal, as if nothing even happened. My god... is this what it's going to be like?... Just acting like nothing happened?

“W-what?” You manage to stutter in silent anger and confusion. Wesker slowly leans even closer now, his hands now still gripping you.

"Did you miss me..." He whispers into your ear again.

My god... I don't know what to say... I don't know what to do…

"I missed hearing your little voice..." Wesker whispers again, his hand now slowly going up your back.

"Captain... s-stop this..." You attempt to try and speak up again, but of course he isn’t going to listen to you. 

Wesker's grip on you remains firm.

"I’m not going to stop." He taunted you. Wesker's hand now continues to slowly move up your back, his fingers moving to the nape of your neck.

“That’s a good girl…” He chuckled near your ear.

It is then that a loud smack is heard as you slap him across the face with your right hand. Wesker, caught off guard by the hit, lets go of you. Without looking back, you quickly run to the door and unlock it. 

“Agh! You bitch!” He groaned loudly. 

The door opens now, and you rush out. You see Wesker is looking at you with a look of both shock and rage.

I need to run to my office and hide there, locking my office is a must!

You ran, evidently, you sprinted, not caring how loud your footsteps were as you basically flew down the hallway. With your Captain being more fit, more stronger, and faster than you, of course he was right on your tail . You rush into your office, feeling a sense of relief once its door is shut and locked. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest now.

Oh no... oh no... oh no...

You see Wesker try the doorknob, but the door does not open. He pounds on it, and asks you to open it. You didn’t plan this through, so you’re trapped. Wesker continues to bang on the door.

"Open the goddamn door, Lieutenant."

His voice now sounds furious.

He's been caught off guard by a single hit, and so now he's going to be more cruel.

"..." You don't answer him... You’re frantically looking around your office to see if there is anything you can use to further defend yourself.

Wesker's banging on the door is loud and terrifying.

Do not let him in... you must not let him in. Just don't make any noise. You look around your office, not seeing anything you could use to defend yourself. The door to your office can only keep him out so long… He will eventually break this door open.

Wait... My revolver…

You see your revolver, which you normally keep hidden, sitting in your desk. Could that actually help you ? It's the only thing that could possibly help you. If you could surprise attack him with it, maybe that would work. Wesker is still banging on the door now, his voice still furious.

"Lieutenant! Open the goddamn door now!" Wesker bellowed, banging on with what seemed like most of his strength. You can see the door caving in and out with every bang. 

You grab the revolver out of the drawer, and you open the ammo... there is only one bullet that remains but it is not next to be shot. 

Maybe if I can catch him off guard...

Your hand is shaking, your mind racing...

One single bullet. Do I just try shooting him with this?

You keep listening at the door as Wesker continues banging on it.

There's no way he will let this slide.

Wesker then begins to say something to you.

"Lieutenant... I already told you, I’m not going to stop."

My god... he's still acting as if nothing happened. He's not going to let this go.

You slide down on the wall that the door is on. You’re shaking, you’re crying, you’re even sweating while the weather is freezing cold outside. It’s getting too much for you now. Why can’t you have just one single moment of peace? Why is it that you have to be the victim of power abuse and male obsession?

"..." You start sobbing so loud even Wesker can probably hear it. You hear Wesker laughing on the other side of the door. Your tears are flowing down your face now.

Of course he would enjoy this...

You are trapped in this office. You can't get out. The doors remain locked.

Wesker continues to bang on the door, his voice sounding as if it's taunting you now.

"Look at you, Lieutenant. Crying like a little girl." He continues laughing from the bottom of his throat, as if he just won a game or something. It jabs your heart, it makes you feel so restless and your heart just can’t stop dropping to your stomach. It’s so unfair , it’s so asinine , and it is just so fucking jarring . 

What is with him...?!

His words hurt because they just don't make sense. Am I not allowed to cry? I am not allowed to be upset and angry?

 You’re still sobbing loudly, your left hand trying to wipe all of your tears and your right hand is holding the revolver on the ground.

Wesker continues banging on the door, and you hear him say something again.

"You know, you sounded really pretty when I forced myself onto you before. But now that I know how scared you can be..." He sounds sadistic now. He sounds as if he takes pleasure in knowing you're afraid of him.

"You know... I might just try and do that again after I get in here." Wesker says that last part in a dark, malicious tone, then letting out a low chuckle. 

You scream. And you scream loudly, before going silent and taking a moment of silence to look at the revolver that you now held with both hands. 

Wait... what if I shoot...

You feel your mind racing and racing, your heart beating with fear.

What if I shoot... what if I shoot? Will he be gone?

Your hand is shaking badly now, the revolver firmly in both of your hands.

Is this the only way? There has to be another way!

Wesker is still banging and laughing.

"Hey... Lieutenant?"

“...” You’re panting, trying to catch your breath.

Wesker is still banging, trying to get the door open. 

“Lieutenant? Lieutenant!? I know you’re still in there.” 

"So... you know what?... I'll make you a deal, Lieutenant."

His voice sounds both cruel and sadistic.

What kind of a deal... What kind of a deal will he make?

“...” You stay silent. What deal?

"How about..." Wesker's voice now takes on a more casual tone.

"If you open that door for me right now... I'll just pretend like nothing even happened. We'll just pretend like nothing ever happened between us, and forget your little slap."

That's ridiculous. No way. No way is he willing to just forget.

"Open that door, Lieutenant..." He asks with a cruel, yet casual tone.

What should I do? Is this just him lying to me?

"..." You refuse to listen to him, You will not answer him. You will shoot him.

"You know... your silence only makes it worse for you..." Wesker starts laughing again as he hears your silence. He's still banging on the door. "Lieutenant... you're not making this any easier for yourself." Your hand is still shaking, you keep the revolver firmly in your hands.

It's so heavy, your hand is shaking so much.

"I'll give you... let's say... five more seconds before I really do something bad to you ."

Five seconds? What an evil prick he is. Now, you need to hide. Wesker continues to bang on the door and laugh.

"Lieutenant. Four..... three...... and two."

You run over and try to hide as best as you can in your office, keeping the revolver firmly in both of your hands.

He won't be able to find me that easily... I'll still have time to surprise attack him with this revolver when he comes running in. Yeah.. that's it. That's my plan. I don’t want to kill him though. 

Wesker keeps banging on the door. 

"One..." He says, his voice still casual and as if nothing happened.

Is he actually going to break that door down now? Why is he making this so difficult for me... why isn't he just going to leave me?

You have the revolver in both of your hands now, feeling it become even heavier somehow than it was before. There's only one bullet... don't miss. You mustn't miss it.

What does he even want from me? 

Wesker laughs again, still banging on the door as a smile takes over his face.

"Oh, Lieutenant... you're making this so tough for yourself. All you had to do was not slap me and everything would have been fine." You feel frozen in place, the door banging and his words getting to you.

My god... I have one chance... and one chance alone. After he breaks that door in, there's nothing more I can do. But I wasn't gonna let him have his way with me... no way in hell.

Wesker's words keep banging against your psyche as his banging on the door continues.

"Fine. I’ll be nice. One minute... one minute is all I'm giving you now, dearhear t."

You can feel your hand sweating now as the revolver feels as though it's a hundred pounds.

I have one minute before he comes in here to force himself onto me again. One minute to get the aim of my revolver perfect… If I don’t aim this right then I’m fucked.

Wesker continues to laugh outside and bang on the door.

"Thirty seconds, Lieutenant."He sounds so smug.

 God... why isn't he just going away? Is he really not going to give up until he gets me again? I have to keep calm.

You listen closely now, hearing that even Wesker's breathing is getting louder now and more rapid.

"Open that door, Lieutenant. Open the goddamn door!" Wesker yells now at the top of his lungs.

He's now waiting for you to comply. He's not going to wait for long.

I’m not opening the door. I refuse.

Wesker stops yelling. You think for a few seconds, he might try and break the door down.

"Fine..." Wesker's voice sounds quiet now, and you feel yourself getting more hopeful.

He's going to give up.

"If you won't open that door for me... then I guess I'll just have to open it myself."

He can't be serious... not the actual door.

Your hope and relief fade within a few seconds.

Oh no... he's going to do it... he's going to break it down.

Wesker's voice gets louder again as you hear him walk right up to the door.

"Three... two... one."

You hear your heart immediately racing at a quick pace.

This is it. Now or never. There's no more time left.

"Fine, I'm coming in." Wesker laughs, and you hear him begin to use his shoulder to bang on the door a couple times. This is it. Your chance.

Wesker starts using his foot now to break the door down. He's putting his body weight into breaking that door down.

I have to do it.

Your hand is shaking uncontrollably now, the gun feeling like it is going to slip out of your hands.

Come on... any second now. You’re still shaking, but you're managing to keep your breath under control. Wesker is still kicking the door... your breath is getting shallow...

I can't miss... I can't miss.

Wesker continues to kick the door.

I have to remember my training... I have to keep my aim steady and fire at him...

Wesker kicks the door one last time, and it sounds like it is about to snap.

This is it.

Your hand is shaking like it's going crazy, your breath almost not coming now. You see the door begin to shake and get close to falling. You point the revolver at the door, trying to steady your hand as best as you can. Wesker's entire focus is on the door, trying to break that door down.

God, I can't miss. Do not miss.

And with one final, ruthless kick to your door, it was down. Wesker was now staring down at you, already moving towards your direction.

Bang. 

3. WELL, IT'S TOO BAD

Captain Wesker’s body fell backwards and fell to the ground of your office floor with a loud thump. Immediately, you screamed loud enough to the point where the whole city could hear you. That didn’t really make a difference, though. Same as yesterday, there was no one in the office, just Wesker and you. This time, only one of you is standing.

And the other may be dead.

“Oh my God… Oh my God! I shot him…” To say that you were panicking was an understatement. Your gun dropped to the ground, your hands in your head, eyes wide open with tears spilling out, your mouth was dry and your heart felt like it was trying to leave your body again .

“...”

Is he dead!? Shit! I can’t just leave him like this… But at the same time… You didn’t really know what to do,  you can call the ER but you would probably get arrested since it’s so obvious that you’re the one that shot him down, just look at the little spots of blood on your face and shirt. Or, you can just run away and go home like this never happened. 

Which one will benefit you the most in this predicament? 

I have to go…  

You didn’t have much time to think before one of your colleagues went to check what scream of yours was all about. The thing is, they already left, and there are no cameras in this area of the hall. How cliche. You decided to put on your coat and your Ushanka and run to your car, deciding to never look back. 

Self-preservation is the most important thing to worry about right now. You did what you had to do to defend yourself. Or else…

You kept looking behind you to see if Albert was already on his way to hunt you down, again. He wasn’t there, so you took the advantage and drove out of the station, again . This time it was life or death. 

You still cannot process what has just happened to you in the last 24 hours. 

…

It was the next day,  Friday. Exactly 24 hours since you left the station. You were in your bed all day. Not even a shower and consuming a single meal helped the fear that you were feeling. It was creepy like the devil hanging out on your shoulder. You felt so uneasy you wanted to scream, but you were too scared to do so. Too scared that someone might hear your… or know what you did yesterday night. Staying in your bed and under the covers was way better than leaving your apartment complex.  

Although it is your personal sanctuary, there was just something enticing about how comfortable your room was. 

Suddenly, your phone rings on your night stand, you reach out your arm to grab it and see the contact who was calling you. It was Jill. Hesitantly, you answer it and put the phone next to your ear. 

“Hello?”  You mumbled, eyes closed as you held the phone next to your ear. 

“Hey, _/_…”  Jill said, she sounded more quiet than usual, saying your first name with a little more caution.

She called me by actual name this time…

“Is everything okay at the office?” You asked, considering how you were out of the office because of yesterday night's events. At the same time, your stomach felt like it was twisted around your ribcage, you were so scared that she would mention him after yesterday night’s events.

“Yes. Everything is absolutely fine. I was just checking in because you weren’t today.” Jill spoke casually.

Oh thank God. 

“Sorry I wasn’t in today, I got sick from the blizzard last night, and plus, I am just really tired.” You groaned, your stomach untwisting from your ribcage in the process. 

“I see. When do you plan on coming back? I can write down your sick days if it makes it easier for you.” She said,  

“Probably next Wednesday. When the snow is calming down.” You responded.

“Okay. That seems fine…” she responded back. There was then a long pause. It was unsettling, it made your heart drop to your stomach a little bit. What is she thinking about?

“Is there something wrong, Jill?” You asked out of anxiety. 

“There’s nothing wrong. I just wanted to warn you to stay safe.” 

“…” This time, you were the one to give a long silence back. Now you were on edge. You were in your house, your sanctuary. What did she mean by “stay safe”?

“We got a new case today, regarding  a woman getting assaulted and attacked. I know you’re my Lieutenant and you know how to defend yourself, but I still want to make sure you’re okay in your current condition.” Jill then explained, sighing shortly after.

“Thank you, Jill. Make sure you watch your back as well. In case you get in some danger, don’t forget the training we did together and the skills I showed you.” You mumbled, not feeling relaxed at all.

“Pffft. I won’t. Anyways, take care of yourself, Lieutenant _/_.”  

“You too, Jill.” 

You ended the call, then got up to look outside your window. The street and pavement was still blanketed in thick white snow. You loved this weather because for some reason it made you feel so safe today, and relaxed, like there wasn’t danger running rampant in this strange world, as if you didn’t shoot your captain yesterday, as if you don’t know if he is currently lurking in the shadows.

Of course he’s lurking. Why didn’t Jill mention the bloody scene at your office, or the absence of Captain Wesker?  Jill goes into your office usually to collect some snacks and other documents that you keep around and she didn’t mention the blood stained floor.  Not only that, what gives it away was that a new case was given to S.T.A.R.S Alpha team and only the Captain can command the team to investigate the cases, and your team received a new case today regarding people going missing.

Oh, he’s definitely lurking, and after this shift is done? He’s all about your shade tonight.

It makes you laugh. For some odd reason, you weren’t that scared anymore. Sure, your Captain attempted to violate you in his office, which causes you to shoot him the next day is very terrifying, but what is more terrifying (from what you’re gathering)  is that he’s still alive, and he’s walking around as if nothing happened. 

What a dedicated stalker. That man is so funny but so persistent. 

“Wesker doesn’t know when to give up, doesn’t he?” You let out a chuckle, smiling to yourself about the realisation of how scary your current predicament really is. You weren’t smiling and laughing to yourself because you were happy, that wasn’t the case at all. It was because you were absolutely petrified. “I’ll let him have his way tonight but, after that, I need to end him quickly. ” You finished talking to yourself, still staring out at the window, awaiting the horrors that will eventually come to life tonight.

…

And, those horrors wasted no time showing up at your front doorstep. Your blood went cold as you saw your Captain open the front with a makeshift key. You were standing in the middle of the hallway with your gun in your right hand. Wesker was dressed up in his uniform, sans the black vest that he wears while he’s on duty. The blue-eyed monster then bellowed a loud laugh once he laid his cold, unforgiving, crystal blue eyes on your smaller frame, it made you shiver in fear.  

“You’re so cruel, my dear…” He sighed, automatically walked over to you, encasing you in his arms. You couldn’t back away because you were still perplexed as he was still walking around as if you didn’t shoot him right in the stomach. 

“What…” You mumbled quietly, trying to wriggle out of his tight grip. It was uncomfortable, intruding and claustrophobic. It wasn't comforting at all, it felt as if someone was trapping you in a jail cell. 

“How dare you…” Albert started, now slowly snaking  his arms to your backside. Your breath hitched. “How dare you shoot me in your own office and then run away? I had to clean up after your mess.” He questioned you with a pout. Evidently he was mocking you. 

“How are you not dead… I shot you clean in the stomach.” It’s either you said something wrong or it was the look on your face; your pupils were dilated, the colour drained from your face, and your breathing was heavier than before. You were panicking, the reality of the whole situation was dawning on you but you can’t be scared now. You need to face it head strong. 

“You shot me, but you didn’t kill me, my love.” Wesker explained. 

But it doesn’t make any sense… I shot him in the stomach, he should still be in pain, not only that but he shouldn’t even be walking… What the hell? Is he even human? The next time I have the chance, I need this man dead. Expeditiously. 

“With that being said,” You were suddenly lifted off of your feet, and your body was on Wesker’s shoulder, and the both of you were on the way out of the door and to his car. “I’m finally going to have my way with you, dearheart.” Wesker chuckled, using his right hand to slap your ass.

“Let hell you will!” You gasped, trying your best wriggling off of his arm, but to no avail. No matter how much you kicked your legs up and down or tried to use your arms to release yourself off his grip, his strong, muscular arm kept you right in place on his shoulder. You were just wasting your energy at this point. “I won’t let you ruin my life. I’ve worked too hard for you to do this to me!” You screamed.

“So persistent,” Wesker groaned, you heard the sound of a car door opening and in no time you were thrown in the backseat of Wesker’s car, he pulled you closer to the door and pulls out a rope, then he ties the rope around your body, making sure you cannot use any of your limbs. “You need to be patient my dear, the fun hasn’t begun just yet. You’re lucky I’m not taping that sexy mouth of yours, I love hearing how scared you are.” 

“...” You sighed out of exhaustion and you threw yourself down to the seat below you, having no further energy to fight back. 

“Now you’re not talking? Don’t do that, sweetheart. You’ll be screaming my name very soon. I’m afraid I’ll fuck you so hard that your whole entire neighborhood will hear you, which is why were going somewhere private.” The blond older male opened the driver’s door and sat down, turning on the car.

“In your wildest dreams , you sick bastard.” You chided. 

Now, while he drives you to wherever the hell is he taking you, this is the time to figure out how you’re actually going to kill this man. 

And this time, he won’t return. 

4. IT'S TOO BAD... IT'S TOO BAD...

After calculating every twist and turn the car has made, and counting the minutes of how far Wesker has taken you away from your home, you finally feel the car stop. You feel the car power off and hear Wesker leave his seat and go to the back to get you out. You yelped, his strong, lean arms wasted no time pulling your smaller body out of the backseat with no trouble through the ropes. 

‘We must be at his house then…’ 

He’s carrying you bridal style, knowing you can’t properly move with the ropes tied around your body. Wesker doesn’t have his signature, dark, goofy sunglasses on, so even in the somber night, those cold, sky blue eyes are still so visible you could’ve sworn that they were glowing. It was terrifying. And what is even more terrifying is that his eyes were focused on you, more specifically your own pair of eyes as if he was trying to read directly into your soul.

Although your stalker– captain was purely a wicked man from what you’ve seen yesterday night and tonight, you couldn’t deny that he wasn’t handsome or fine to say the least. There was just something about how sharp his jaw was, or how nicely straight his nose was, or how the tips of his ivory-colored skin would turn cherry at the slightest of any rough action, or how perfect his teeth were, or how crowning his golden blond his slick back hair was.

Albert Wesker without a doubt was impeccable. How beautifully diabolical.

There was silence between the two of you. The type of silence that would lead to a later suggestive scene that would happen in a dark romance movie. But why would that happen? That wouldn’t even make sense, not after what Wesker did to you yesterday and the day before that. Your own captain assaulted you and now you feel some sort of sexual attraction to him? That doesn’t make sense.

He was still carrying you in his arms as he opened his front door and closed it behind him, locking it. You were tired and all of the lights were off so your vision was blurry. With every step that Wesker took to his bedroom you felt your stomach twist and turn in the most uncomfortable way ever. It was not a fun feeling. At the same time, it was a little exciting. Oh?

Being trapped in ropes while being taken to someone’s bedroom isn’t the best situation to be in.

Wesker gently places you onto his bed and immediately starts gently removing the rope off of your body. It is finally all undone when he starts eyeing with a more hungry look than before. 

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this…”  Again, his voice was low before he  let out a heavy sigh. Wesker’s eyes are squinted in seriousness and his pale, ivory cheeks are now tinted with a rose flush. Your captain starts to unbutton his shirt slowly while his eyes are still maintained on you. And for some odd reason, butterflies start to grow in your stomach.

“What the hell are you talking about…” You slowed down your words as your eyes wandered down to his crotch. It was obvious he was hard. You could see a huge bulge sticking out from his black pants. It was like it was itching to be released from the cloth it was being restricted by. Damn.

Wesker lets out a chuckle. “Don’t act stupid, my dear. I was planning to go easy on you until you shot me,” There was only the last button of his shirt left. You could see how defined his chest was, even though you could only see the middle of it. You always knew that your captain was lean and he worked out basically everyday but, you didn’t know you could see it even through just a sneak peak. “Which means I have to capture you now before you attempt to try and get rid of me again. I can’t let that happen when I didn’t even get the chance to kiss you…” He finished, the last button finally undone. Through the undone blue shirt, his gunshot wound that was done, courtesy of you, was still there. You didn’t get to see it fully before Wesker leaned into you, straddling your legs wide open, you could feel yourself getting wet just at the sight of him. 

‘Why am I getting so… aroused by this? This doesn’t make any sense. ’ Your inner thoughts are fuzzy and are getting mixed with the feeling of your body shivering from a peculiar cold. It was snowing outside but, you’re inside, so why are you suddenly cold? And shivering? That’s strange.  

You’re then snapped back to reality by your legs being snapped open. You winced at the sudden action and pain. 

“Stay still.” Wesker basically drooled over you, eyeing your erect nipples and innocently confused face by his actions.  His hands held down your plush thighs with such natural strength that you couldn’t even move under his grasp. “You look absolutely idiosyncratic.” He muttered. 

The innocent face that he was eyeing was gone as you sneered at him and his pervertness. “Fucking pervert.” You groaned, still mad that he’s made you horny by his forceful will. 

“Do you finally surrender?” Albert gloated, his blue eyes narrowed at you like a predator finally about to feast on its prey. You weren’t going to that to yourself and say that you were not intimidated. He was stronger than you, faster than you, even smarter than you. The chances of you winning this unfair game was even less than another  planet other than Earth successfully managing to survive the natural causes of the universe throwing everything at it. You weren’t going to win this, at this point you were only hoping that he wasn’t going to kill you. 

“Well I don’t really have a choice, do I?” You said with pure stoicness in your voice, blinking at him twice. At your words, you’re blue-eyed monster of a Captain chuckled lowly, flashing a blinding white smile at your hint at defeat. 

“You could always fight back. Or, shoot me… again.”

Oh… He is terrible.  He pulls the right side of his shirt to reveal his body. It was like he was a Greek god sculpted by an Italian artist. His abs were a sculpted masterpiece, chiseled and defined beneath the taut surface of his skin. The lines of his abdomen led the eye on a journey of admiration, from the prominent V-shaped cut of his lower abs to the symmetrical rows of his upper abs. Your eyes were gazed on them, stuck to them like a magnet. It was like your pupils were getting bigger just to praise how wonderfully built this man was.  

Not to mention the very noticeable and fresh gunshot wound, courtesy of you, that made it obvious that it existed and that you put that there. It made Albert’s image even worse, even more… hot. 

How were you going to fight back? Did you even want to fight him back at this point? You weren’t going to answer the question yourself, instead, Albert Wesker was going to answer it for you.

…

You were lost. 

You weren’t sure how long it had been, all you knew was that your Captain was on top of you, inside of you. His hands on your arms, sans of all your clothing. Repeatedly slamming his cock inside of you. 

And you just had your head laid on the plush pillow and took it. You don’t know why, but you just did, It felt… too familiar, too good, too amazing, it's like you had sex with this man before, but you just don’t know where. The way he fucked you had you screaming, moaning, whimpering in so much pleasure that you no longer shame about your current situation no more about fighting him back. It made no sense at all, but you no longer cared since you were under the curse of such ecstasy.  

It was disrespectful the way he used his tongue on you earlier. The way he used his long, wet, tongue to have you try and scream aloud. In the end, you did end up screaming his name. It was so unnatural and unfitting in the moment but then again, you did not care. 

It was strange. You still hadn’t reached your orgasm yet. He hadn’t either.

  It was like an infinite loop. 

…

You were back to your senses and you realized that you need to get out of here.  Now. 

You were scrambling to find your shorts and long sleeve shirt, to put them back on and to try and find help. The clock was ticking. 

‘Come on come on… where did he throw my clothes?! ’ You were frantically crawling on his bedroom floor absolutely naked as he slept peacefully, you looked crazy but nobody was watching. You were also surprised that he didn’t wake up at the sound of you trying to find the clothes he took so gently off your body. It felt like ten minutes but in ten seconds you felt the familiar clothing you were wearing earlier. ‘Found them!’

Trying to make the least noise possible, you put on the clothes while you were still on the cold, wooden floor. Then, you heard the bed creak. Shit.   

“Now where do you think you’re going?” You heard his voice. Your heart drops. There isn’t enough time to think of an escape plan at this point. Your only hope of getting out of here was to gun him down or break a window. “Did I say you could get away from me?” 

“...” While you were still on the ground, you stayed silent out of fear, your body feeling weak. You were even too scared to move. But you had to get up, or else it would’ve been game over for you.

‘Shit… I can’t walk properly.’ 

‘Where is this fucker’s gun!?’ You thought to yourself as you quickly rose to your feet, eyes scanning the room rapidly as your messy hair was in your face.

“Not saying anything? Don’t tell me you’re still scared…” Wesker sighed, getting up from the bed as he was completely naked. Trying to ignore him from getting up, you look behind you to see his samurai edge on his desk.

‘His gun! It’s on the desk…’ You run to grab it and then turn back around to face him, staring at him dead in the eye, ignoring his sexually distracting body. 

“Stay… away… from me… you have done enough damage.” You panted as your body shook violently, holding the gun up at Wesker. All he did was smirk at you in amusement, you wouldn’t even dare to bat your eyes down to see his appendage rising the sound of your fear. 

Wesker took another step towards you. “I don’t think I’ve done enough damage…” 

Bang. 

5. YOU'RE MARRIED... TO ME

As your eyes snapped wide open, your body was automatically in a cold sweat. The bedroom was freezing cold, which made sense because it was still snowing outside. Huh. 

‘What the fuck?’ You mentally thought to yourself, your eyes traveled around the room rapidly, still trying to get a sense of what you just went through. It was dark outside, the only thing that was light was the snow that was falling down violently, with the occasional gusts of wind accompanying it. Your head felt so light, you thought your head was going to fall back on the pillow below you. 

The surroundings are different and nothing about the bedroom is the same, neither from yours nor his. Could this be reality?

You look to your left to see someone sleeping next to you. It was so dark that you couldn’t make out who it was at first, and you weren’t going to turn on the lamp on your nightstand just so you could see who it was. It would be an eyesore for the man next to you.  

The man who was sleeping so peacefully next to you had blond hair, sharp cheekbones, and thin lips that if they were to touch yours, his mouth could drive you crazy with them. 

‘Oh.’ Your heart froze while your stomach twisted with both of your intestines. It then sunk into you on what was actually happening. 

In an instant, you slowly took the covers off of you and quietly but quickly walked to the bathroom that was inside your shared bedroom. You opened the door and closed it behind you, flicking the light on. You then proceed to carefully study yourself, touching each one of your features, ,from your eyes, your eyebrows, your nose, your lips, the shape of your face, to your neck, your chest, your torso– your tattoos– but you couldn’t find any tattoos, not even the one you saw on your hand. You had no tattoos. None, whatsoever.

That caused you to let out a sigh of relief. 

None of that was real. Nothing of all of that at all was real. 

‘So that was all a dream… Albert– my husband trying to sexually assault me and hunting me down was all a dream… All of that was never real… ’

It makes no sense on how realistically weird it was. Yes, you and your husband did work at the S.T.A.R.S in the RPD and he was the Captain while you were the Lieutenant but… that wasn’t even how you two fell in love.

It was instant love for Wesker. He hired you when he saw you practicing some karate moves at your old martial arts school while he was patrolling the streets of Racoon. He was impressed by your skill. And at the age of 24, you were hired to work at STARS in the Alpha team. Albert was 32 at the time. It’s been two years since then, and now, you two are married. Strange how fast time flies. 

But knowing Albert, even though the man is strict and serious ninety-nine percent of the time, he would never chase you down and defile you against your will. That is something inane and asinine. 

This was all making your mouth dry. You stared at yourself for a few more moments before adjusting your dark blue button-up pajama shirt, turning off the bathroom light, and leaving the room all together, still making sure Albert was sleeping. For such a hard working man, he was surprisingly a heavy sleeper, barely waking up to loud-ass thunderstorms. 

You went to the kitchen and poured yourself a nice glass of cold water. Gulping down that ice-cold water made you relax more, calming down your brain that was still a little perplexed at the weird-ass dream you just had. You didn’t even dream that often, and when you did, your dreams were never that weird. Could you even call that a dream? Was it scary enough to call it a nightmare? Actually–yes, it was. Having a dream of your husband stalking you down and violating you is terrifying. 

Downright frightening. 

Now it was time to try and sleep again, hoping, praying that you don’t have any weird nightmares like that again. 

You went back to your shared room, closing the door and locking it. You crawled back into bed, put the covers over you, and took a deep breath. Suddenly, you felt a hand wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer. You flinched at the sudden movement. 

“Dearheart?” You heard your husband’s deep, throaty, and tired voice from behind you as you turned around to face him, his eyes were open and you could see the familiar arctic blue eyes that you loved so much.

“My love, you’re awake.” You pointed out and smiled at him. 

“Only because I didn’t feel you by my side.” Albert leaned in to kiss you on your lips, to which you kissed him back. 

‘There he goes again with his words.’

“Come on, I only left for five minutes, it wasn’t like I left the house or anything.” You told him, sighing at his clinginess. 

“You left me all alone while I was sleeping for five minutes, it felt uncomfortable.” 

“Well, I’m here now. Jeez, you’re such a child.” You quietly laughed at him. 

“Is everything okay, my dear?” Albert asked you. You paused for a split moment, trying to think of an answer. Here’s the thing, you could tell him the truth about the nightmare you had but that would cause chaos, and all you wanted to do was sleep, so you avoided that trouble.

“Yes… I just felt a little thirsty.” You lied, feeling a bit guilty about not telling your husband about that nightmare you had. It’s just that you did not want him to worry about you, and he gets all protective, even at the tiniest things. He raised an eyebrow at your answer and looked at the window behind you. 

“Thirsty? It’s freezing cold outside and you’re thirsty?” He’s skeptical. 

“Albert, you’re shirtless.” You retorted, using your hand to trace his stomach and chest. You felt how nice his body looked, it was exactly the same, but sans the gunshot wounds that you gave to him. He was all lean muscle, no signs of any painful, inflicted injuries on him anywhere. He felt nice and warm against your cold body. Very comforting.  

“And your hands are cold.” Albert shivered, against your touch, learning a small laugh from you. Slowly, you placed yourself on top of him, laying your head against his neck and your legs wrapped around his torso. This felt fine, absolutely fine. He wasn’t chasing you down the hallway, or forcing you to open your office door so he could do terrible things to you. He wrapped his arms around you, and embraced you. This was okay, this was absolutely okay. 

“Well, maybe you can warm me up.” You said against his skin, nuzzling into him.

“Of course I will, my dear wife.” He responded and you felt his smile on your skin. 

You laid on him for a few moments, enjoying your husbands warmth, feeling so safe.

“Hey, Albert?” 

“Yes, dearheart?” 

“Would you ever hurt me?” 

“Never.”

But, Albert Wesker wouldn’t actually do that to you. Would he?

[byechristopher]

LOOK AT YOU. [18+]

– Chris Sturniolo smut.

——————————————————————————————————

dom & playful!chris x f!reader.

Author's note: Nothing to say, enjoy. Don't copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: Praise & degradation kink. Semi-public sex. Smut smut smut, lots of smut, long story too. If you're a minor, keep scrolling, please. I don't know what else to say, bye.

The music is so loud, I can literally feel it in my veins, my body. I'm already on the fourth drink and all I can think of is him. Him. He said he'd come tonight, although I never know what to expect from him.

My friends keep talking to me but I'm far gone now – could it be the whiskey? Could it be the fact that Chris just entered the fucking bar and my breath is gone? Maybe. I swear, this guy will literally drive me crazy. He is the only one my eyes follow when he enters the bar, it's like no one else exists. No one other than us.

"Hey, baby." he says as soon as he is close enough for me to hear him, his fingers touch my waist. His teasing grin lights up the whole damn room and I feel like passing out.

"Shut up, Chris, don't call me baby." I groan and look around, sighing in relief when I see that all our friends are too tipsy to notice.

Me and Chris have been friends for as long as I can remember – well, "friends" is the only thing I can call that. We have been flirting since day one and have been hooking up ever since.

I am fucking obsessed with the guy, though. Who isn't, after all.

"I want you." he makes sure he is as close as he can get with everyone around, not that he cares anyway. His forehead is pressed against my temple and he is slightly moving with me to the beat of the song that's playing.

"Literally everyone is around, Christopher." I say his name, as if the smirk that crawls up his lips doesn't turn me on.

"Keep saying my full name and I'll take you right here, in front of everyone. I don't give a fuck, you know it." his lips touch my ear and his breath tickles my skin in the best way possible. The craziest thing is that I know he could do that – he wouldn't give a shit and I wouldn't say a damn thing.

"Plus, you know I only came here because of you, don't you?" he keeps his lips close to my ear.

I knew it. Which is why I wore his favourite dress tonight. His favourite red lipstick that he loves taking off of me with ways only he can. He was at another club but I texted him as soon as we went out – and he came, indeed.

"You might need to prove that to me." I can't keep back my smile (or smirk, at that point), his eyes stare into mine.

I expect him to say something playful in return but he glares at me instead. It's not an angry glare, it's an I'll-fuck-the-shit-out-of-you glare. I can't hep but widen my eyes a little bit because he grabs my wrist and in less than a minute, we're out of there – we're in the bathroom instead.

"Chris, what the fuck.." I yell behind him but I can feel the desire build up in my stomach, my chest, everywhere.

He doesn't say anything but I know that little smile of his – he knows what he's doing. Damn well. He opens one of the bathroom doors and shoves us both inside. We're both smiling like crazy but I wait for him to make the first move.

He is in the mood to torture me once again, it seems, because he doesn't immediately kiss me. He slowly presses his forehead against mine and his curls are somewhat in the way. However, I can still stare into his hungry eyes. We can still hear the muffled music from inside, it is very loud after all – perfect. We won't need to be quiet. Not that he would let me anyway.

His fingers grip my hips and bring me closer to him, I can feel the bulge in his pants and I can feel my breath getting heavier. He notices, because his smirk is more evident this time.

"Can you feel it? Feel me?" he whispers, loud enough for me to hear him. I can feel goosebumps rising.

"Chris.. I can't wait any longer." my lips touch his without kissing him. Just enough to make him drool for me as much as I do for him.

"Baby.. I want your lips on me. Get on your knees." he bites down on his bottom lip – he places a kiss on my lips before he gives me a knowing smile.

He doesn't need to tell me twice because I'm already pushing his pants down, just enough to take his cock out for me to see. Only me. In just a second, my lips are already around him and I can see him throwing his head back, although he returns to his previous position, just to be able to look at me. I felt hungry, I wanted to devour him.

"Fucking hell.. you look perfect.. like that, just like that." his jaw is firm and his fingers find their way in my hair, grabbing a fistful of it and guiding my head so that I can take him deeper into my mouth.

"Do you like that, hm? How hard you made me? How I'm already really fucking close?" he moans and starts thrusting his hips, I am gagging and my eyes tear up, but I don't mind. Hell, I love it. He lets out a chuckle between moans as he holds my head in place with both hands and starts fucking my mouth, harder than ever.

"Look at you.." he pulls his cock out and rubs it against my cheek, smearing my own saliva all over my face, "..such a little slut for my cock. Wanna taste me again, hmm?"

"Please.." I whisper, "please, I need to taste you.. I need you to fuck me.." that must've triggered him, because I see those beautiful eyes turning dark again and I can't fucking breathe.

His fingers are now wrapped around my neck, and before I even realise what's going on, he spits on his own cock and shoves it back into my mouth. I hold onto his thighs and suck on him hungrily – I can feel tears running down my cheeks and I'm pretty sure mascara is decorating my skin.

His moans are uncontrollable now and I can see him smiling at my mess, "pretty girl.. you look so beautiful, fuck!" he thrusts into my mouth one last time before he pulls out completely.

I am about to complain when he mentions for me to get up, he pushes up the hem of my dress and pulls my panties down, grabbing one of my legs and putting it over his shoulder, as he gets down on his knees this time. My private parts are on full display and I'm desperately trying not to pass out right then and there.

The sight is beautiful – his eyes are glistening, filled with lust, maybe a bit of alcohol, his hair is a little messed up, my thigh is resting on his shoulder, his long fingers are wrapped around it. He turns his head to the side and places a soft kiss on the inside of my thigh, biting my skin playfully right after.

"Fuck.. you're literally perfect. I couldn't stop thinking about the last time I tasted you on my tongue.. I want you." he groans and without wasting any time, he spreads my pussy open and shoves his tongue inside of me.

My head falls back and I moan loudly, my leg trembling on his shoulder – he rubs my clit with his warm tongue before taking it into his mouth to suck on it. His hand travels up my body and with quick movements, he grabs my dress and pulls it down, just enough for my breasts to break free. As soon as he does that, he shoves his tongue inside of me once again. I scream.

"Don't you dare cum. I'm not fucking done with you." he growls. He carefully sets my foot down and quickly gets up, spitting on his dick before grabbing my leg again to lift it up, keeping it to his side. With his free hand, he guides the tip of his cock to my clit and after rubbing it a few times (which made me want to cry), he finally pushes himself inside of me.

"Chris!" I squeeze my eyes shut and tug on his hair – he winces but keeps a smile on his face, as he comes closer to take a nipple into his mouth, "Yes, yes, yes!" I cry out.

"You feel so good, baby.. only I can fuck you like this. Isn't this right, baby?" he moans in my ear and I lose it. I grab both of his shoulders and I jump on him, wrapping both of my legs around his waist, with him still buried deep inside of me.

"Only you.. I only want you to fuck me. To see me like this.." I whisper and I start to move my hips back and forth.

"Fuuuuck.. shit, like this.." his fingers dig into my skin – his hand is gripping my breast, squeezing it roughly, while the other hand is intertwined with mine, pressed against the wall next to my head, "..I'm fucking close.. I wanna cum inside of you." he moans and presses his forehead against mine.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes! Inside of me.. please, cum.." I moan and I want to cry at the same time because the pleasure is too much, and I'm so close too.

With that, he loses it, and so do I. We both finish at the same time and I can feel both of our bodies trembling against one another.

"You're beautiful.. fuck." he whispers as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, "I don't wanna pull out." he chuckles, he's tired though.

I chuckle too, "take me home?" I whisper.

He pauses, "is that literal, or.." he narrows his eyes and I laugh, hitting his chest, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Let me take you home, yes. And then take you on the couch, too."

[prncessjaeger]

every girl gets her wish ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

ღsyponosis: eren’s pink obsessed spoiled!gf goes to the mall!

ღan: idk this is kind of a selfship then again idk, anyways song inspo for title: every man gets his wish

ღcw: suggestive ending but that’s it.

“baby, you think this top is cute?” you held up a pink longsleeved shirt and showed it off to eren, who was currently on the phone with his co-workers talking about boring business bullshit, “hm yeah but it’s pink…again-” “so?” your lips formed a pout, knowing he might not even buy the shirt (mainly cause you already have like 3 similar ones in your closet but who’s counting?) and that saddened you deeply. “soo you should pick the grey one, goes well with those pink patricia pants right?”

“they’re called priscilla pants and i mean yeah they do, but i wanna do pink on pink though…” your pout was evident and eren knew this tactic from a mile away…but he couldn’t just keep you sad all day, so! he sighed and grabbed the shirt, adding it to the pile with all the other clothes you’ve chosen. “so i can get it?!” “just keep looking for things you want, i’ll be at the front waiting.” he walked away, clothes in hand and you smirked to yourself, knowing you got your way once again. 

once he paid for your items, you took him inside of this cute daiso like shop, and eren internally sighed before walking in, “oh my god eren! look at these cute headbands, wanna get em?” “no-.” “yes? okay, get that white basket and hold it please?” he snatched (playfully) the basket up and let you sit both headbands in there. you both browsed around the shop, grabbing anything, whether it was perfume sets, stationary sets, and other miscellaneous items. “i’m finished-and the basket’s not even that full this time, baby!” “right…” he looked down and saw the basket (which was full) and just agreed with you, wanting to keep you happy! “your total is $137.20! cash or card?” “card.” eren grabbed his card and you smirked once he tapped it against the green. “thank you for shopping here, girl! your outfit is too cute!” “thank you! yours as well!” you both left the store and immediately you grabbed the bag with the headbands in,

“eren-” “no.” whining, you ignored him trying to move his head away from you  and put the headband on him anyways,

“aww you look adorable! now, let’s go get smoothies!” he finished up his call and smiled softly at you, grabbing you hand and instead of going to the smoothie section, he took you straight into victoria’s secret. 

“oooh they have pink bralette sets and the teddy to match, grab those yoga pants eren with the pink lettering- oh my god! they have pink and grey sets!” eren picked up a few things and walked back to where you were, checking out the new scents for fall, “go try these on.”

“okay, you coming in?” he nodded, “yeah, give me a minute though.” you grinned and walked into the dressing room the worker, kira, opened for you and you checked out the cute set he picked out for you, and hastily tried it on. “eren!” “yes, my love?” “it’s on.” you could hear the scuffles from his shoes rushing to the dressing room, “lemme see it baby,” opening the door you pulled him in, not wanting anyone around you to see you in such little clothing, “soooo…?” “you look…beautiful baby, do a spin for me?” he took your hand and raised it up, twirling you around twice, “yeah, this is real nice…can’t wait to fuck you in it too-”

“eren! people can hear?!”

“so? now c’mere,” grabbing your waist, his lips connected to yours in a soft kiss, moving one hand cupping the fat of your ass cheek as he deepened the kiss, “mmh- eren, c’mon let’s buy it already?” he saw that certain glint in your pretty doe eyes and poked his tongue in his cheek,

“yeah, come one, we’re ending this mall trip a bit early today.”

ღan: boring, yawning, sloppy….lazy.

[crazyunsexycool]

A Love as Sweet as Honey

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word count: 3.1K

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays my lovely people. Here is a small Christmas one shot for our new favorite family. I know it's a little bit late but these last few days have been hectic. I hope you like it.

Warning: Fluff, a little bit of angst, implied smut, Christmas!!!

Series Masterlist

You hadn’t celebrated Christmas in years but this time it was different. There was a huge reason to put up decorations, watch Christmas movies, listen to Christmas songs and marvel at all the twinkling Christmas lights. And that reason was currently crawling her way to the Christmas tree. Since Steve brought home a tree and used as many lights as he could, Bee couldn’t stay away. She moves surprisingly fast for her age. You can hear her small coos as she reaches for a branch with her tiny hand. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Steve’s voice cuts over the Christmas music that’s playing softly. “Does my girl want to look at the lights again?” 

You walk into the living room just as Steve picks Bee up. She still looks so tiny in his arms. Her giggles make you smile as you watch father and daughter admire the bright lights and colorful decorations. 

“I have her hat.” You finally interrupt them, holding up the knitted accessory. “We should get going.” 

“Alright, Honeybee let’s get you all bundled up.” 

You put the beanie on Bee’s head and make sure she still had her socks on. Then you grab your coat and put it on quickly before taking Bee so that Steve could put his coat on. 

“I think we’re all set. Let’s go.” Steve ushers you and Bee to the car. 

The three of you were heading to a Christmas light show. You hoped Bee would love it just as much as she seemed to love the lights you and Steve had around the house.

****

“Alright, my sweet Bee,” you say as you unbuckle Bee from her car seat. “Let’s get you into your stroller.” 

Bee giggles as you lift her up. Her little feet kicking in excitement as she looks around the unfamiliar place. As you strap her into her stroller Steve hands you her blanket and you make sure Bee is tucked in comfortably. 

“Are you ready for your first light show, baby?” You ask with a smile, receiving a happy little grunt in response. 

“I’ve got her bag,” Steve says as he shoulders the backpack full of things you might need for Bee. “I think we’re ready to go.” 

You just nod and start pushing the stroller. Steve stays close at all times. He receives a few stares as you walk by other people but fortunately you’re left alone. It takes about five minutes to get to the entrance of the actual attraction. You both hear the tiniest gasp come from the stroller the moment you start to see all the twinkling lights. 

“Oohhh.” Bee coos as she points at all the lights. 

You and Steve can’t stop smiling at Bee’s reaction. She was obsessed with the lights. You knew because of the way she scrunched her nose up like Steve did when he was really happy about something. 

Halfway through the walkthrough Bee gets fussy to the point that Steve picks her up. He gets her closer to the displays and you have a cheerful baby again. You and Steve stop to get some hot chocolate and enjoy some carolers. 

“This is nice.” Steve says between sips of his drink. 

“Yeah, I’ve never done this before.”   

He leans in and kisses your temple. “Well then it’s a family first.” 

“A new tradition, maybe?” 

Steve looks down at Bee who is entranced by the twinkling decorations. “Definitely a new tradition.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Steve walks into your shared home to the fire alarm going off. He rushes to the kitchen to see you with tears in your eyes and smoking coming out of the oven.

“What’s going on?” Steve asks as he rushes over to your side. 

You blink back tears as you look up at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin them.” 

“Ruin what, Honey?” 

“The cookies. I’ve tried to make like six batches and they’ve come out horrible.” 

“What are you making cookies for?” 

“I wanted us to sit together and decorate cookies with Bee. But I can’t get a stupid recipe right.” You buried your face in Steve’s chest and wrapped your arms around his midsection. 

“It’s ok Honey. We don’t have to decorate cookies.” 

You pull back to look at Steve, completely offended by his statement. “Of course we do. It’s a Christmas tradition.” 

“Honey, Bee isn’t going to remember this Christmas.” 

“But we will. And she deserves to have the best Christmas ever with all of the fun things we can come up with. But I can’t even give her that. She deserves to have family traditions.”

Holidays in general were a sensitive subject for you. Your family always excluded you from all of the fun things they would do. But now you were determined to give your sweet baby girl everything you never had. Unfortunately you aren’t a great cook or baker. 

“You know what, we’ll figure it out.” Steve grabs the recipe you’d printed out for sugar cookies and looks it over. “How about we take a break and then try again later?”

“Okay.” 

“Steebie?” Charlotte’s voice rings in the entryway.

“In the kitchen sweetheart.” 

Fast little footsteps echo in the hallway before Lottie and Henry appear in the kitchen. 

“Hi guys. What’s going on?” 

“We’re having a cookie decorating party and we wanted to invite you.” Henry holds up an actual invitation. It was hand drawn, Lottie being the artist behind it. “The party was Lottie’s idea.” 

You look over at Lottie who has the most sympathetic and sweetest smile on her face as she walks up to you. 

“Don’t cwy fo cookies, Duckie.” She says when you squat down to her level. “We habe so many.” 

“Thank you Lottie.” 

She smiles again as she hugs you. 

“You two are the best.” Steve ruffles Henry’s hair. “We’ll be over in a minute ok?” 

“Ok.” Henry nods before holding his hand out. “Let’s go baby.”

“See you latuh.” 

You stand up and lean into Steve’s awaiting arms. 

“There we go. We have cookies for our girl.” Steve says. “Are you ok with that?”

You just nod against his chest. The baby monitor crackles as Bee begins to cry. 

“Why don’t you go get her and I’ll clean up the kitchen?” 

You look around at the mess and start to feel bad about the whole thing. 

“Don’t worry about it. Go get Bee.” Steve gently pushes you out of the kitchen.

“Ok.”

****

The Barnes home smelled like vanilla, cinnamon and all things sweet. There’s laughter coming from the kitchen so you and Steve follow the sound. You find all five of the Barnes family together. There are cookies cooling on one counter top, flour and dough on another. Henry was currently working with the standmixer to make icing, his hair pulled back and an apron stained with powdered sugar.

“Bee-bee, hi.” Peanut waves at Steve. 

“Hi, Peanut.”

“We’re glad you made it.” 

“Thank you for the invitation.” You tell Sugar. 

“Of course, you know you’re always welcome.” 

“Now, give me my niece.” Bucky holds his hands out. Bee initially hides her face against Steve’s shoulder. “Oh come on, Bee. It’s your favorite uncle. C’mon sweet girl.” Bucky tickles her side making her giggle and she turns to look at him. “There you are, c’mon.” 

Bee holds her arms out and goes with Bucky. As soon as Steve has handed her over Peanut does grabby hands in order to be picked up. 

“Is there anything I can help with?” You ask as you look around. 

“I was just going to start setting up the decorating stations on the table. Can you grab the sprinkles and those plates?” 

“Of course.” 

You and Sugar move around the table to set everything up. Lottie follows you both and hands you the little things you need like spoons, napkins, and piping bags. Just as you finish Sam, Wanda, Vision, Nat and Sugar’s siblings walk in. All of them are ready to decorate cookies together. The whole group sits around the table trading stories. You have Bee on your lap and you’re trying to get some icing on the cookie but Bee keeps trying to grab the spatula you were using. 

“Sweet Bee let me spread this on the cookie.” 

Bee replies by letting out a high pitched scream and smacking her hand on the table a few times. Everyone’s eyes are on her and suddenly she’s shrinking into you. 

“That’s right, you tell her.” Nat says from across the table with a smile. 

Bee gives her a shy smile before getting distracted by the cookie in front of her. For the next few hours everyone decorates cookies and talks. It’s nice to have this group of people in your life. As you watch Steve fail at decorating a cookie because Bee keeps licking the icing off you can’t help but smile. While Steve doesn’t have any other living relatives and you are not in contact with your family, your daughter isn’t missing out on the love of aunts, uncles and cousins. 

“What do you think?” Steve leans in. “A new tradition?” 

“Yes, a new tradition.” 

He sends you that grin you love so much before pressing a quick kiss to your lips. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas was getting closer. Sam had agreed to watch Bee while you and Steve went shopping for gifts. Now you were sitting in the living room at night getting ready to wrap everything. You had set up all the wrapping paper, tape, scissors and gift bags out to keep things running smoothly. 

“Alright, Bee’s down for the night. Let’s get started.” Steve claps his hands. 

“I think we went a little overboard with gifts for her.” 

“I think we did just fine. Bee deserves everything.”

You raise a brow at him. “While I agree that she deserves absolutely everything on this earth, we don’t want her to be spoiled and become a brat.”

“She won’t. We won’t let her.” 

“If you say so.” You mutter. 

“I do. Now,” Steve pulls you closer and presses his lips against yours. “Should we wrap presents or can I unwrap you?” His hands slip under your shirt and run up and down your sides. 

“Steve…”

“Yes, Honey?” 

You giggle as he kisses down your neck. 

“We have to-“ you cut yourself off with a whimper when Steve pulls you in and you can feel his arousal.

“Unwrapping it is.” Steve says with a smirk  as he walks you towards the couch.

You laugh as you hit the couch. Steve settles himself on top of you. His eyes darken with want. You run your hands through his hair until they stop at his neck and you pull him down for a kiss.

****

You lay on the couch and pressed against Steve, naked. Only a throw blanket covering you up. The stack of presents sit all around but you can’t be bothered to get up.

“You’re going to have to wrap all of these by yourself.” You murmur, fighting to stay awake. 

“Why? Are you too tired to wrap a few gifts?” Steve was way too smug for your liking but you were too tired. 

“Shut up.” 

Steve chuckles as he runs his fingertips up and down your spine. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of all of this.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Christmas Eve and you were so excited. Steve had to work so you had time to set up a small surprise for him. The dining room table was set up for a romantic dinner. 

“Honey?” Steve calls out from the front door. 

“In the dining room.” You reply as you finish placing a wine glass down. 

“Hey,” Steve stops in his tracks as he looks at the set up. 

There are candles on the table, Steve’s favorite dinner is waiting for him. But the best part is his girls. You and Bee are in similar burgundy colored dresses. Bee’s nose scrunches up as she smiles and holds her arms out for him. Your smile is just as captivating and Steve can’t believe he gets to live his dream.

“What’s all this?” He asks as he gets closer to you. 

“Well, you always do so much for us that we wanted to surprise you. It was all Bee’s idea.” 

“Is that right, sweet girl?” Steve says as he takes Bee from you and kisses her cheek. Bee replies in kind by nuzzling her nose into his cheek. 

You smile up at them. Something about seeing Steve being such a good father makes your heart stutter. In your eyes there is no one more suited for the job. 

“Thank you, Honey.” Steve leans down and gives you a sweet kiss. 

“No, thank you for being so wonderful.” 

You gently push Steve to take a seat and then you settle Bee in her high chair. The three of you spend a quiet dinner together knowing that Christmas Day will be spent with your found family. 

**** 

After dinner the three of you sit in the living room in matching pajamas and watch a Christmas movie or two. Halfway through the second movie Bee falls asleep in Steve’s arms. You expected that he’d go and settle her down for the night but instead Steve just shifts Bee around a little and goes back to watching the movie.

“Do you want me to take her up?” You whisper.

“No, I want to hold her a little longer. I want to hold you too, C’mere.” He raises his free arm up and you snuggle into his side. Steve presses a kiss to the top of your head. 

You watch the rest of the movie snuggled up together. This was easily the best Christmas you ever had. You were sure there was nothing that could ever top this moment. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you were awake way too early. Excitement for the day ahead had you up and getting ready. While Bee was still sleeping you and Steve decided to exchange gifts. It surprised you how much he paid attention to you with all the gifts he got. You were even more surprised that he had gotten you as much as he had since you didn’t know where he had hidden it. But he was equally surprised when you gave him just about the same amount of gifts. 

What the two of you were really waiting for was Bee to wake up. This was her first Christmas and you wanted to see her open gifts. Just as you and Steve finished your coffee Bee could be heard cooing on the baby monitor. Both of you rushed into her nursery to meet a smiling and still sleepy baby. You changed her diaper and changed her into a onesie that said baby’s first Christmas. 

Downstairs Steve had set up a video camera in order to capture the moment of Bee opening her gifts. The three of you sat down by the tree and Steve got the first gift for Bee. You two were like kids in a candy store as you watched Bee’s little fingers scratch at the paper. She got easily distracted by the twinkling lights of the tree so you had to bring her attention back. 

Every gift had grabbed her attention. There was everything from clothes to toys to books. More than a kid could ever need and Steve had to admit that you were right. Maybe it was a little bit too much. Bee didn’t seem to mind all the gifts though, especially the toys. She giggled and cooed happily as you and Steve sat and played with her. 

****

The team was gathering in the compound for a Christmas party. The usual attendees were already there including Sam and Clint’s family. The kids were running around playing with their new toys while the adults sat around talking. 

“Why don’t you two lovely ladies get settled and I’ll be back with the rest of the gifts.” 

“Are you sure? I can get someone to watch Bee.” You turn to look at Steve. 

“Absolutely not. I’ll take care of getting the gifts up here.” 

“Ok.” You smile at Steve and head towards Sugar who is patting the empty seat next to her. 

“Oh my goodness, look at you.” She gushes over Bee’s cute red corduroy overall dress. She had a white long sleeve onesie underneath, matching white knee high socks and a red bow headband. 

Peanut waddles their way over to you. They reach for Bee and both of them start to babble. You smile before turning to Sugar, the two of you talk about how your morning went. 

As the day went on more gifts were exchanged. Fortunately you and Sugar had put your foot down at a two gift maximum for the kids knowing the aunts and uncles, especially Tony, would go overboard. 

Bee was especially enamored with a bumblebee stuffie that Lottie had picked out for her future best friend. 

“See,” Lottie motioned to Bee who was hugging the stuffie. “She lobes it. I see it my fut-uh dweams.” She beams. 

“Thank you sweetheart. We’ll make sure to take good care of it.” Steve replies with a smile.  

“Kay. Can we dance Steebie?” 

Steve chuckles but nods as he takes Lottie’s hand. Rocking around the Christmas tree plays as Lottie and Steve dance around. Soon enough the other kids join and even some parents join them. 

The rest of the afternoon is spent in a calm and entertaining environment. Some of the guys are trying to put together a few of the toys the kids got. Tony obviously decides to be the so-called project manager and they argue amongst themselves instead of actually assembling the toys. You, Sugar, Sarah and Laura watch them work. In the end the toys were done but it took way longer than necessary. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the end of the day you had a very sleepy baby in your arms. Bee clung to you even as you tried to change her into pajamas. Instead of putting her down in her crib you brought her into your bed and settled her right in the middle. She held the bumblebee stuffie in one hand and gripped your shirt with the other. Her big blue eyes blinked owlishly at you. 

“Did you have the best day ever?” You murmur as you caress her cheek. 

She responds with a sleepy smile. Bee turns her head as the bed dips next to her and her attention shifts to Steve. While still in your arms she turns so that she can get a better look at him. 

“Hi my sweet girl. Are you ready for bed?” 

Bee tries so hard to stay awake but you know she’s exhausted after all the fun and excitement of the day. You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips as Steve sings a final Christmas song as the lullaby for the night. His voice soft and soothing pushes Bee into dreamland. 

“You and Bee are the best thing to ever happen to me.” Steve whispers. 

You smile up at him. “You and Bee are the best thing to ever happen to me too.” 

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[starlitmelanin]

omg i just binged read all your works, and they are so so amazing!!! here these are for you 💐💐💐

can you please write a enemies to lovers with jamal or trent?! maybe they are in the same circle of friends and reader creates music (something similar to loyle carner’s music- i’ve been obsessed lately 😝😝)

feel free to ignore!!

a/n: this is not quite what you probably wanted, but i hope you enjoy it regardless. i didn’t know about loyle carner before seeing this request, but i listened to a few songs! (also, thank you sm!💜)

you can feel the bass reverberate through your body as you adjust the sound levels on your mixer. the small studio is a little packed tonight, filled with the familiar faces of your friends. everyone's here for the usual friday night hangout, a mix of laughter and loud conversations blending into the music you've been working on.

jamal is the last to arrive, as usual. he walks in with that effortless confidence, the kind that comes naturally to someone who's used to being in the spotlight. the room shifts a little when he enters, the energy changing.

you glance up from your mixer just as he meets your gaze, and there it is – that familiar, infuriating smirk that always seems to be directed at you. rolling your eyes, you turn back to your work, pretending not to notice the way he's already starting to dominate the room with his presence.

"nice of you to finally join us, musiala," you say, not looking up. your voice is just loud enough to be heard over the music, dripping with sarcasm.

"didn't really wanna come, i’ll be honest, but i figured i'd grace you with my presence," he replies smoothly, sliding into a seat next to alphonso. "wouldn't wanna miss out on listening to... whatever that is,” he motions to your equipment. “always a unique experience."

you clench your teeth but force a smile. "i always aim to please."

the two of you continue like this for the next hour. every time you play the next track, jamal has a comment ready. sometimes it's a backhanded compliment, other times it's a thinly veiled critique. you fire back with just as much venom, masking your irritation with biting humour.

"probably your worst one yet," he says at one point, when a different song comes on. it's a new track you've been working on, something different from your usual blend of hip-hop and soul. it's more electronic, a bit experimental. you're kind of proud of it, excited to see how your friends react. "trying to fit in with the cool crowd?"

you narrow your eyes at him, fingers tapping a restless rhythm on the edge of your mixer. "it's called versatility, musiala. something you might not be familiar with."

he hums, and you can see the glint in his eyes, the way he leans in just a little closer. it's like he thrives on this, on the back-and-forth, the constant push and pull.

"oh, i'm familiar," he says, voice low. "just didn't know it came with a side of incoherence."

you're about to retort when someone else jumps in, changing the subject, diffusing the tension. but it's still there, simmering under the surface, threatening to boil over at any moment.

later, when most of your friends have moved to the couches, talking and laughing about something unrelated, you catch jamal watching you. it's not the first time tonight, but this time it feels different. more intense. more... something.

you raise an eyebrow, challenging him. "what? got something to say?"

he shrugs, the picture of nonchalance. "just wondering what it's like to be so... uptight all the time."

your jaw tightens, but you refuse to rise to the bait. instead, you turn back to the mixer, letting your fingers dance over the knobs in a way that's both dismissive and defiant. you’re definitely not in the mood for a verbal sparring match right now.

the evening drags on, and with every glance, every word exchanged between you and jamal, there is an undercurrent of hostility. but there's something else there too, something you can't quite put your finger on.

as the night winds down, your friends start to leave, one by one. soon, it's just you and jamal left in the studio. you're packing up your equipment, trying to ignore the fact that you're alone with him.

"you know," he says, breaking the silence, "you're not entirely terrible at what you do."

you pause, surprised. it's the closest thing to a compliment you've ever gotten from him. "is that your way of saying i'm pretty good?"

he chuckles, shaking his head. "don't push it."

you laugh too, despite yourself. there's a moment of silence, and then he speaks again, quieter this time. "seriously, though. you've got talent. i just... wish you'd use it better."

your smile fades, replaced by a frown. "what's that supposed to mean?"

he shrugs, looking almost uncomfortable. "just... i don't know. sometimes it feels like you're trying too hard to be something you're not. like you're so focused on fitting in that you forget to just... be."

his words sting, more than you want to admit. because maybe there's some truth to them, maybe you do feel the pressure to abandon your original sound and mold yourself into what others expect. but you're not about to let him see that.

"and what about you, huh? mr. perfect footballer," you retort. "aren't you also trying too hard to be something you're not? must be exhausting, right? especially when you're not even good enough."

his eyes flash, and for a moment, you think you've crossed a line. but then he just sighs, running a hand through his hair. "you're impossible."

you shrug. "yeah, well, so are you."

there's a beat of silence, and then he takes a step closer. you can almost feel the heat of his body, the intensity of his gaze. it's almost too much, and you find yourself stepping back, creating some distance.

"maybe that's why we clash so much," he says, voice low and almost... soft? "we're too alike."

you want to deny it, to argue, but the words catch in your throat. because maybe he's right. maybe that's why this constant back-and-forth feels so... inevitable.

"yeah, maybe."

the moment passes, the tension easing just a bit. you finish packing up, and he helps, the two of you working in silence. it's not a comfortable silence, but it's not as hostile as before. it's... something else. something you're not quite ready to name.

as you leave the studio, walking side by side, you can't help but feel like something has shifted. it's subtle, almost unnoticeable, but it's there. and for the first time, you wonder if maybe, just maybe, this little rivalry thing you two got going on could be the beginning of something else. something more.

but that's a thought for another night.

—

another friday night, another gathering in the studio. you're there early, as usual, setting up your equipment and going over your latest tracks. it's a mellow, laid-back sound you've been working on, almost poetic. the lyrics are raw, personal. you've poured so much of yourself into this song, and the thought of anyone hearing it makes you feel exposed.

most of your friends are running late, caught up in other plans, so you take advantage of the rare solitude, letting the music fill the space. closing your eyes, you let the words flow, each note a reflection of your innermost thoughts and feelings.

you're so absorbed in the music that you don't notice the door opening. jamal slips in quietly, uncharacteristically subdued. he's about to announce his presence, but something stops him. maybe it's the vulnerability in your voice, the way you're completely lost in the song. whatever it is, he stays silent, listening from the shadows.

when the last note fades, you open your eyes, startled to find jamal standing there. your heart leaps into your throat, embarrassment washing over you. you've never let anyone hear this song, and the fact that jamal, of all people, just did makes you feel exposed and self-conscious.

"what are you doing here?" you snap, trying to mask your discomfort with irritation.

"didn't mean to eavesdrop," he says, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "i just... couldn't stop listening."

you frown, crossing your arms defensively. "well, you shouldn't have. it's not finished."

"it sounded pretty finished to me," he shrugs, stepping closer. "and really good."

you blink, taken aback. jamal, the guy who never misses an opportunity to critique your work, is actually complimenting you. it's so out of character that you don't know how to respond.

"you... you liked it?" you ask, unable to keep the surprise out of your voice.

"i did," he admits, and there's something in his eyes you've never seen before. "that might be my personal favourite of yours, actually."

the sincerity in his tone catches you off guard, and you look away, trying to hide the mix of emotions swirling inside you.

"oh," you mumble, feeling a strange sense of relief. you hadn't realised just how much you wanted his approval until now.

"seriously," he steps closer, his gaze fixed on you. he'd probably never say it out loud, but he loves your original songs. the personal ones. the raw ones. it's a side of you that you rarely show, a vulnerability that you usually keep hidden. "that was decent."

you glance up at him, searching for any hint of sarcasm, but there's none. just genuine admiration. it's disarming, and for the first time, you see a different side of him. one that isn't all sharp edges and cutting remarks.

"you're being nice to me..." you eye him suspiciously. "why?"

he chuckles softly, scratching the back of his neck. "guess i realised that maybe i've been a bit of an ass."

"a bit?" you raise an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at your lips.

"okay, a lot," he concedes with a grin. "but i mean it, y/n. that song... it's special."

the words hang in the air between you, heavy with meaning. you don't know what to say, how to respond. so you just nod, accepting the compliment for what it is.

"thanks, jamal," you say, your voice steady. "that means a lot."

he smiles, and for the first time, it feels genuine. "anytime."

the moment is interrupted by the arrival of your friends, their laughter and chatter filling the studio. the usual chaos resumes, but something has shifted between you and jamal. the banter, the teasing — it's still there, but it's different now. less sharp, more... complex.

as the night goes on, you catch him watching you from across the room, a thoughtful expression on his face. you pretend not to notice, but inside, your heart is racing. because despite everything, despite the whole 'beef' thing you got going on, you can't deny that something is changing between you two.

later, as you're packing up your equipment, jamal approaches you with a casual, "i know you got more songs like that one. send them to me, yeah?"

you raise an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corners of your lips. "you turning into a fan or something?"

he laughs, the sound warm. genuine. "well, you don't have any, so i figured i'd give you some pity listens."

you roll your eyes, but the subtle smile tugging at your lips is unmissable. "you're insufferable, you know that?"

"you love it," he shoots back, grinning.

you shake your head, but you can't help the sudden warmth that spreads through you. "okay, fine," you say, grabbing a usb stick from your bag. "i've got a few demos. i'll send them to you."

he takes the usb stick, his fingers brushing against yours for a moment. "looking forward to it."

—

the following friday, the studio is buzzing with energy. you're in the midst of setting up, your fingers deftly moving across your mixer as you adjust the sound levels. tonight feels different, charged with an undercurrent of anticipation. maybe it's because of what happened with jamal last week — the unexpected sincerity, the surprising compliments.

he arrives with his usual swagger, but there's a softness to his smile when he spots you. "hey," he says, sliding into the seat next to you. "ready to torture us with more of your 'music'?"

you roll your eyes, but there's no heat behind it. "if by 'torture' you mean 'bless,' then yes, absolutely."

he laughs, and it's a sound you're starting to enjoy more than you'd like to admit. "let's see if you can actually make my ears bleed this time."

you shoot him a mock glare, but there's a smile tugging at your lips, a warmth in your chest that you can't deny. as the night progresses, the banter between you is still there, but it's different now. it's accompanied by subtle touches – his hand brushing against yours as he hands you a drink, your shoulder bumping into his as you both lean over the mixer.

the eye contact lasts a little too long, the smiles a bit too genuine, and your friends are quick to pick up on the change, exchanging knowing looks and smirks whenever they catch the two of you having a moment.

"you two should just get a room already," alphonso teases at one point, earning a chorus of laughter from the group.

"did you two finally decide to get along?" your best friend asks then, eyebrow raised in curiosity.

you shrug, your gaze flickering to jamal, who's already looking at you with that subtle smirk adorning his lips. "something like that."

"finally," another one of your friends adds. "thought you'd never get there."

the evening continues, the usual chaos of laughter and conversations filling the studio. and as the night winds down, most of your friends start to leave, bidding their goodbyes and heading out into the cool night air. soon, it's just you and jamal left in the studio, the space feeling suddenly intimate and quiet.

"so," you say, breaking the silence. "still got an hour left until the studio closes... we can do whatever we want until then."

"yeah?" he raises an amused brow, "got any ideas?"

a timid smile graces your lips, "a few."

gently grabbing your arm, he effortlessly pulls you into him, his arms circling around your waist. and you're acutely aware of every little detail. the warmth of his hands, the way his eyes flicker to your lips. "you're something else, y/n," he says softly. "i've never met anyone like you."

"that a good thing?" you ask.

"definitely," he replies, his voice low and filled with something you can't quite place. "a very good thing."

the moment stretches between you, the air thick with unspoken words. he's looking at you like you're something precious, something he's been waiting for. it's a look that makes your heart ache with a sweetness you've never felt before.

"jamal," you breathe. you can see the look in his eyes, the want, the desire that mirrors your own. "what are we doing?"

he smiles, a soft, almost wistful expression. "something we should have done a long time ago."

and then he's kissing you.

the kiss is soft at first, cautious, as if he's testing the waters. but then it deepens, and all the pent-up emotion, the tension, the longing, spills out. his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you closer, and you can feel the steady beat of his heart against your chest.

you respond instinctively, your hands finding their way to his shoulders, then sliding up to cup his face. the kiss is everything you didn't know you needed – passionate, tender, and utterly consuming. it feels like you're drowning and being saved all at once. you never want it to end.

when you finally pull away, you're both breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. you can see the mix of emotions in his eyes — relief, desire, something deeper.

"took you long enough," you quip, a smile tugging at your lips.

he laughs softly, his breath warm against your skin. "yeah, well... worth the wait."

"you know," you say after a moment, your fingers tracing patterns on the back of his neck, "i think i've found my new inspiration."

"yeah?" he asks, the softness in his voice and the warmth in his gaze all making your heart swell.

"yeah," you confirm, your smile widening. "you."