#i memorized Hamilton in sixth grade

[ilikepotatoesofficer]

silencing the tumblr live notifications every 31 days has the same energy as a table of theater kids in the cafeteria all hissing and spouting Hamilton lyrics as the jocks and cheerleaders walk past

[journalofsorts2]

something sad and embarrassing about me is that if i was held at gunpoint and told to say the entirety of hamilton, i would make it out alive. my hamilton phases was sixth grade and back then i memorized ALL of the songs and they're still stuck in my brain to this day. all you have to do if give me the back track and i'll be able to figure out the lyrics

[mitchiegonewild]

bitchie mitchies aot cinematic universe pt. 2

since you guys seemed to like the other ones, i have PLENTY more in my notes app:

connies a gumball (awog) kinnie 

historia binged all of stranger things in 3 days and she hates the show

ymir listens to lil peep 😟

eren INSISTED on going as rainbow dash for halloween for ages 5-9

armin can TWERK OMG

mikasa makes her own soaps and their names are always something like “deaththroat orgasm” or “beta male sweat and tears”

armin has a shrimp allergy and everyone found out when they went to the beach and he ate shrimp scampi and almost fucking died in a pineapple willy’s 

on the same trip, levi and erwin fucked in a margaritaville bathroom while wasted on said margaritas

hitch gaslit everyone into thinking she went to their school only for annie to tell them “oh she doesn’t she just likes to mess with peoples heads”

armins their discord mod

jean posts marco to ALL of those couple-y tiktok audios 

gabi got in trouble for being a habitual grass eater in pre k

falco provided more grass when she was in time out. he is not an innocent man

zeke and levi brutally fist fought outside of a chili’s while eren, mikasa, armin, historia, and erwin stood to the side and watched

bertholdt had a “soft uwu boy” era in quarantine

reiner videos annie eating and then puts sad music over it

connie is unaware pirating movies and music is illegal and has been doing both since he was seven

one of those mall interviewers came up to sasha and mikasa and sasha bit his mic

armins name in erens phone is “malewife🥰💗”. jurys still out on whether or not its ironic

bertholdt was on witchtok for a month and they’re not even wiccan

ymir kills wasps with her bare hands 

hangë has access to levi’s twitter account but levi’s never on twitter so he doesn’t know. hangë posts truly the most heinous shit on there

moblit gets hangë a box of organ-shaped chocolates every year for valentine’s day

onyankopon had a hamilton phase

& bertholdt had a be more chill phase 🗿

erwin proposed to levi three times before levi accepted to “make sure he wanted to be married”

armin did a magic routine for the eighth grade talent show and killed that shit. they won 1st place

connie & ymir have neck yourself battles. ymir is currently winning

ymir also has the humor of a 12 boy addicted to fidget spinner 

annie is a manager at mcdonald’s and loudly proclaims her hatred for it

erwin carries a glock everywhere he goes. bro is strapped up fr

the first time bertholdt had a panic attack in front of reiner, reiner freaked out and gave his beats to them and played dubstep to try and get him to concentrate on something else

jean only says “balls” like cartman does (bawlz)

bertholdt does not know what MILF stands for

hitch has a monster can wall

sasha does this thing where if anyone yawns she shoves her fingers in their mouth and yells “CHICKEN FINGER”

erwin has a tiktok account to monitor what his kids post & he comments on them

levi calls mikasa brat number 1, historia brat number 2, and armin brat number 3

levi calls eren, sasha, & ymir his “forth, fifth, & sixth brat”

reiner has memorized all of the wenomechainasama spellings

bertholdt is a clairo enthusiast 

annie CANNOT STAND the smell of pork

zeke has a podcast

pieck is his editor and trolls the shit out of him with it

mikasa knows how to vogue & death drop

reiner does that thing where he plays tiktok audios and pretends he’s in an edit

mikasa is the biggest fucking internet troll but is supremely undercover about it

the only person who knows is jean because he’s her favorite victim but nobody believes him when he tells them

another one of sasha’s tiktoks blew up & it was a “baby got back” dance that she did with armin and connie and all of the comments were like “THE TWINK CARRIED THIS” or “GO CAILLOU GO”

zeke accidentally married a stripper in vegas one time. she was super chill about the divorce and they keep in touch

pieck collects shiny things

niccolo beat connie with a remote control because every time mario said “it’s-a me, mario!” connie would whisper “it’s-a me, niccolo!”

[thefederalistfreestyle]

Lin-Manuel Miranda On Disney, Mixtapes And Why He Won't Try To Top 'Hamilton' (NPR):

[. . .] Looking ahead, Miranda says he doesn't feel pressure to duplicate or exceed the success of Hamilton. "If you think in terms of topping, you're in the wrong business," he says. "I remember getting that question after In the Heights. 'It's your first musical and you won the Tony, how are you going to top it?' I'm like, 'I went from broke substitute teacher to Broadway composer. I will never make a leap that big in my life again.' "

Interview Highlights

On what it was like to play Alexander Hamilton every night

It was an enormous challenge to do that show every night, and yet who to blame but myself? I wrote the part! And it was also the most thrilling roller coaster every night. You know, I got to fall in love, I got to win a war, I got to write words that inspired a nation.

Getting to go through that experience, it's something I'll never get old of, which is why I really tried to downplay my departure as much as possible, because I don't think I'm remotely done with it.

On Donald Trump's tweet calling for the theater to be a safe place after the Hamilton cast read a statement directed to Vice President-elect Mike Pence, who attended a performance soon after the election

Here's where I agree with the president-elect: The theater should always be a safe space. ... I think one of the reasons Hamilton has been embraced by people of every stripe on the political spectrum is that theater is one of the rarest places where we still come together. You may take a totally different conclusion from Hamilton than I do, based on your ideology and your politics and your life experience, but we all sat in a room together and we watched the same thing, and that doesn't happen anymore.

As you can see from this election, we have our own sets of facts based on who we listen to. Which news organization gets our business determines the facts that get in our head. So I think one of the things that makes theater special is, first of all, it's one of the last places you put your phone away, and second of all it's one of the last places where we all have a common experience together.

So to that end, I agree with [Trump's comment]. I don't agree with his characterization of what we did. I think anyone who sees that video sees [actor Brandon Victor Dixon] silencing the boos ... from the audience itself, who ... nine days after the election are still working through that thing. I can't speak to that, but I know that Brandon quieted the boos and made a plea to lead all of us. I don't believe there's anything remotely resembling harassment in what we've done.

[. . .]

On the music that influenced him as a teenager

My sister is as responsible as anyone for giving me good taste in music. I remember stealing her copy of Black Sheep's A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing and learning "Engine, engine number nine, on the New York transit line." I think that's probably the first rap song I really worked hard to memorize in sixth grade, but then also Naughty by Nature and Queen Latifah.

The music you love when you're a teenager is always going to be the most important to you, and I find that it's all over the score of Hamilton. ... These are all New York, East Coast, '90s rappers, and that's when I was a teenager. [. . .]

[yahoo-shutdown-corner-blog]

Final 2018 NFL draft grades: How did your team fare? (Don't look, Seattle fans)

Every NFL draft is entertaining, but this one had a little bit of everything.

With a ton of trades, four quarterbacks going in the top 10, a Heisman Trophy winner being selected with the first and last picks of the first round … it was an entertaining three days for the NFL.

[Yahoo Fantasy Football leagues are open: Sign up now for free]

Now we look at how each team did in the draft. As always with draft grades, it’s a snapshot. Some of the poor grades below will go up tremendously when a late-round pick becomes an unexpected star. Conversely, the moves that look great on paper today won’t look so good when that top-10 pick becomes a memorable bust. And that will happen, because it always does.

Cleveland Browns first-round draftees Baker Mayfield and Denzel Ward hold their jerseys at a news conference. (AP)

While we don’t know how each team’s draft class will ultimately turn out, we can analyze how each team did over the NFL draft. Here are the 2018 NFL draft grades (with the round a player was picked in parentheses):

Arizona Cardinals Picks: QB Josh Rosen (1); WR Christian Kirk (2); C Mason Cole (3); RB Chase Edmonds (4); CB Chris Campbell (6); OT Korey Cunningham (7). Analysis: The Cardinals fixed a big quarterback problem by taking Josh Rosen, considered by some the best QB in the class, and didn’t overpay to trade up for him. Hard to knock that. Receiver Christian Kirk in the second round was a fantastic pick given how the Cards need to restock the position. Center Mason Cole helps a line that needs it, though the Cardinals could’ve done more to address the tackle or guard spots. The Cardinals also ignored much needed cornerback help until the sixth round. Grade: B+

Atlanta Falcons Picks: WR Calvin Ridley (1); CB Isaiah Oliver (2); DT Deadrin Senat (3); RB Ito Smith (4); WR Russell Gage (6); LB Foye Oluokun (6). Analysis: The Falcons got a good value pick with receiver Calvin Ridley at 26th overall. Isaiah Oliver is the type of bigger cornerback the Falcons like, and they hope big tackle Deadrin Senat helps fix their defensive line need. The Falcons were mostly quiet in trades but when they did trade up, it was to get receiver and special teams ace Russell Gage in the sixth round. That’s a great late pick because at a minimum he’ll have an instant impact in the kicking game. Grade: B

Baltimore Ravens Picks: TE Hayden Hurst (1); QB Lamar Jackson (1); OT Orlando Brown (3); TE Mark Andrews (3); CB Anthony Averett (4); ILB Kenny Young (4); WR Jaleel Scott (4); WR Jordan Lasley (5); S Deshon Elliott (6); OT Greg Senat (6); C Bradley Bozeman (6); DE Zach Sieler (7).   Analysis: Tight end Hayden Hurst was a need pick, and not an inspiring one. It made less sense when the Ravens doubled down with tight end Mark Andrews in the third. If Orlando Brown plays like he did in college he’s a good value acquisition in the third, but his lack of athleticism (he had a historically bad combine) is concerning. Cornerback Anthony Averett was a solid find in the fourth. But the most interesting piece of the draft class is clearly quarterback Lamar Jackson. If he’s used right, Ozzie Newsome’s last first-round pick as GM will be a huge part of his Ravens legacy. Grade: C

Buffalo Bills Picks: QB Josh Allen (1); ILB Tremaine Edmunds (1); DT Harrison Phillips (3); CB Taron Johnson (4); S Siran Neal (5); G Wyatt Teller (5); WR Ray-Ray McCloud (6); WR Austin Proehl (7). Analysis: If you like Josh Allen, this was a great draft. If you don’t like Allen, you hated the Bills trading two second-rounders to go get him at No. 7 — they also traded left tackle Cordy Glenn earlier in the offseason to move up to No. 12, which they used to move up to No. 7, so getting Allen was not cheap. The Tremaine Edmunds pick is an easy one to like. So is Harrison Phillips, a super-strong tackle for the middle of the defense. But waiting until pick No. 187 to take their first offensive playmaker was strange. This draft rides on Allen. The bionic Allen could become a star. But it’s a huge gamble on someone who wasn’t even first- or second-team all-Mountain West last season. And they paid a lot to get on that ride. Grade: C-

Carolina Panthers Picks: WR D.J. Moore (1); CB Donte Jackson (2); CB Rashaan Gaulden (3); TE Ian Thomas (4); OLB Marquis Haynes (4); LB Jermaine Carter Jr. (5); LB Andre Smith (7); DT Kendrick Norton (7). Analysis: The Panthers needed secondary help, and added fast cornerback Donte Jackson and physical, versatile safety Rashaan Gaulden. Tight end Ian Thomas was a nice pick to start the fourth round; he could be Greg Olsen’s eventual replacement. First-round pick D.J. Moore, the first receiver selected, will help Cam Newton. Assuming Moore can be a difference maker, it’s easy to like what the Panthers did. Grade: B

Chicago Bears Picks: LB Roquan Smith (1); C James Daniels (2); WR Anthony Miller (2); LB Joel Iyiegbuniwe (4); DL Bilal Nichols (5); DE Kylie Fitts (6); WR Javon Wims (7). Analysis: The Bears spent free agency fixing their offensive skill positions, so it made sense to invest in a defensive difference maker in the first round. Roquan Smith will make an impact from Week 1 on. Then it was back to the offense. Center James Daniels was a borderline first-round talent. Receiver Anthony Miller was highly productive at Memphis and will be another target for Mitchell Trubisky. That could turn out to be a great pick. The Bears did very well with those three picks in the first two rounds. Grade: A-

Linebacker Roquan Smith, the Bears’ first-round pick, makes a tackle in the College Football Playoff title game. (AP)

Cincinnati Bengals Picks: C Billy Price (1); FS Jessie Bates (2); DE Sam Hubbard (3); OLB Malik Jefferson (3); RB Mark Walton (4); CB Davontae Harris (5); DT Andrew Brown (5); CB Darius Phillips (5); QB Logan Woodside (7); G Rod Taylor (7); WR Auden Tate (7). Analysis: When you consider how the Bengals allowed their offensive line to fall apart, it’s hard to rip the pick of center Billy Price in the first. They just have to hope Price, who tore a pectoral muscle at the combine, is all the way back by the start of the season. They also picked up left tackle Cordy Glenn from the Bills in a pre-draft trade, moving back nine spots in the first round. Safety Jessie Bates should help at free safety right away. Defensive end Sam Hubbard and outside linebacker Malik Jefferson add athleticism to the front seven, though Hubbard’s lack of production at Ohio State is a concern. Mark Walton was presumably the highest player left on Cincinnati’s board when they grabbed him in the fourth, and Auden Tate is an interesting dart throw in the seventh. If one of the mid-round corners pans out, it’s helps a solid draft. Grade: B-

Cleveland Browns Picks: QB Baker Mayfield (1); CB Denzel Ward (1); G Austin Corbett (2); RB Nick Chubb (2); DE Chad Thomas (3); WR Antonio Callaway (4); LB Genard Avery (5); WR Damion Ratley (6); DB Simeon Thomas (6). Analysis: Baker Mayfield is a quarterback who analytics loved, and he was a good pick. He checks every box for a quarterback except height. Denzel Ward was the draft’s best cornerback, a position that has tremendous value. That pick has been wrongly criticized; Ward is going to be a very good player at a key spot. Austin Corbett was a curious pick at the top of the second round because the Browns need a left tackle and Corbett was projected by many as a guard. Hue Jackson said they’ll try out Corbett at tackle and guard, and see where he fits, which means he’s not the obvious answer to replace Joe Thomas. Nick Chubb, the third pick of the second round, seemed redundant since the Browns just paid Carlos Hyde in free agency, though Hyde will probably be gone next year. Fourth-round receiver Antonio Callaway has clear talent, but he can’t stay out of trouble. There was a lot of volume here, with four picks in the top 35. Yet, Cleveland’s haul still seems underwhelming – though better considering some picks went for Jarvis Landry and Tyrod Taylor. If Mayfield answers the quarterback fiasco in Cleveland, nothing else matters. Grade: B+

Dallas Cowboys Picks: ILB Leighton Vander Esch (1); G Connor Williams (2); WR Michael Gallup (3); DE Dorance Armstrong (4); TE Dalton Schultz (4); QB Mike White (5); LB Chris Covington (6); WR Cedrick Wilson (6); RB Bo Scarbrough (7). Analysis: The Cowboys’ draft might be remembered for what could have happened. Linebacker Leighton Vander Esch, the first-round pick, is a good player but the Cowboys passed every receiver in their post-Dez Bryant world to get him. It seemed they were primed to grab tight end Dallas Goedert at No. 50 overall, but the Eagles traded to No. 49 and took him. The Cowboys took offensive lineman Connor Williams instead. The third round netted receiver Michael Gallup, a good prospect who will be under a lot of pressure because of the Cowboys’ need at the position. Stanford tight end Dalton Schultz became a necessity in the fourth round due to Jason Witten’s reported impending retirement, but he’s not a dynamic receiver. At some point the Cowboys are going to have to seriously invest in premium targets for Dak Prescott (and trading away slot receiver Ryan Switzer and trading for Rams bust Tavon Austin doesn’t meet that need). Grade: C-

Denver Broncos Picks: DE Bradley Chubb (1); WR Courtland Sutton (2); RB Royce Freeman (3); CB Isaac Yiadom (3); LB Josey Jewell (4); WR DaeSean Hamilton (4); TE Troy Fumagalli; C Sam Jones (6); LB Keishawn Bierria (6); RB David Williams (7). Analysis: The Broncos had a pretty easy pick when Bradley Chubb fell to them at No. 5. Home-run pick. The draft might turn, good or bad, on whether size-speed receiver Courtland Sutton develops into a No. 1 receiver out of the second round. That could happen. I really liked the third-round pick of running back Royce Freeman, who seems like a safe bet to be a very productive early down back for Denver. There were other picks who were college stars: Iowa linebacker Josey Jewell, Penn State receiver DaeSean Hamilton and Wisconsin tight end Troy Fumagalli. Just because the Broncos drafted a lot of big names doesn’t mean they’re good picks, but the Broncos got plenty of players who we know can play well on a high level. This group should be ready to contribute immediately. Grade: A

Bradley Chubb, center, with Broncos GM John Elway, left, and coach Vance Joseph. (AP)

Detroit Lions Picks: C Frank Ragnow (1); RB Kerryon Johnson (2); SS Tracy Walker (3); DE Da’Shawn Hand (4); G Tyrell Crosby (5); RB Nick Bawden (7). Analysis: Center Frank Ragnow is a good player, but it still feels the Lions needed to get premium pass rush help early on. Running back Kerryon Johnson didn’t seem like a good selection with the 11th pick of the second round, and Detroit gave up a fourth-round pick to move up eight spots to take him. You have to wonder if the Derrius Guice rumors scared them off the better player there. Safety Tracy Walker seemed like an even bigger reach in the third round. Alabama defensive lineman Da’shawn Hand and Oregon offensive lineman Tyrell Crosby were fine value picks, though Crosby’s reported concussion issues are an obvious concern. It’s an underwhelming class. Grade: D

Green Bay Packers Picks: CB Jaire Alexander (1); CB Josh Jackson (2); OLB Oren Burks (3); WR J’Mon Moore (4); G Cole Madison (5); P JK Scott (5); WR Marquez Valdes-Scantling (5); WR Equanimeous St. Brown (6); DT James Looney (7); LS Hunter Bradley (7); LB Kendall Donnerson (7). Analysis: I like how the Packers played the first round, practically moving back four spots to take CB Jaire Alexander – a very good player who fills a big need – while picking up a 2019 first-rounder from the Saints. Doubling down on cornerback to take Josh Jackson in the second round was a strong move. The Packers had a pass-rush need, but the cornerback need was apparently more pressing. Receiver Equanimeous St. Brown, a 6-foot-5 speedster who had nine touchdowns with Notre Dame in 2016 before slumping last season, seems to be a nice fit in the sixth round. The Packers will be fine if one of the three receivers they took pan out. Taking a punter and long snapper seemed odd, but the Packers had a lot of picks. Grade: A-

Houston Texans Picks: SS Justin Reid (3); OL Martinas Rankin (3); TE Jordan Akins (3); WR Keke Coutee (4); DE Duke Ejiofor (6); TE Jordan Thomas (6); LB Peter Kalambayi (6); DB Jermaine Kelly (7). Analysis: Don’t forget, the Texans didn’t have an early second-round pick because they had to dump Brock Osweiler’s terrible contract. And they traded their first to take Deshaun Watson last year. No regrets with that at least. They made a good pick in the third, with versatile safety Justin Reid. Receiver Keke Coutee made a lot of plays at Texas Tech and also tested well at the combine — he could be a good one. The Texans were hamstrung without those top two picks, and did what they could with what they had. Grade: D+

Indianapolis Colts Picks: G Quenton Nelson (1); OLB Darius Leonard (2); G Braden Smith (2); DE Kemoko Turay (2); DE Tyquan Lewis (2); RB Nyheim Hines (4); WR Daurice Fountain (5); RB Jordan Wilkins (5); WR Deon Cain (6); LB Matthew Adams (7); LB Zaire Franklin (7). Analysis: The safest player in the draft was probably guard Quenton Nelson. And he helps a Colts line that has had major holes for years. The Colts had four second-round picks, and they loaded up in the defensive front seven: linebacker Darius Leonard, a very productive player at South Carolina State, and pass rushers Kemoko Turay and Tyquan Lewis. The other second-round pick, Braden Smith, was another guard and probably a reach with many good running backs on the board. N.C. State running back Nyheim Hines is a fun player but not the every-down back the Colts need, though Indianapolis also took a shot on running back Jordan Wilkins in the fifth. Maybe it would have been better to invest in one good back early instead of a second guard. The Colts also took two receivers in the fifth and sixth rounds including Deon Cain, who unexpectedly slipped. Grade: B

Notre Dame’s Quenton Nelson was the highest drafted guard since 1985. (AP)

Jacksonville Jaguars Picks: DT Taven Bryan (1); WR D.J. Chark (2); FS Ronnie Harrison (3); OT Will Richardson (4); QB Tanner Lee (6); LB Leon Jacobs (7); P Logan Cooke (7). Analysis: The Jaguars know what type of team they want to be. They already had a good defensive line but took Florida defensive tackle Taven Bryan to make it even better. The second-round pick of LSU receiver D.J. Chark is a reasonable gamble on an athletic freak who didn’t produce much in college, perhaps due to bad quarterback play. Third-round pick Ronnie Harrison, a safety from Alabama, and fourth-round pick Will Richardson, a tackle from N.C. State, could each contribute soon. Grade: B-

Kansas City Chiefs Picks: DT Breeland Speaks (2); DT Derrick Nnadi (3); OLB Dorian O’Daniel (3); S Armani Watts (4); CB Tremon Smith (6); G Kahlil McKenzie (6). Analysis: Defense, defense, defense. It’s clear where the Chiefs thought they needed help. The challenge was getting impact players without a first-round pick (traded last year in the Patrick Mahomes deal), and it’s hard to see a huge infusion of help. Breeland Speaks did very little before his final Ole Miss season, Derrick Nnadi didn’t test well, Doran O’Daniel should help on special teams right away but doesn’t look like an early defensive starter. Grade: D-

Los Angeles Chargers Picks: SS Derwin James (1); Uchenna Nwosu (2); DT Justin Jones (3); S Kyzir White (4); C Scott Quessenberry (5); WR Dylan Cantrell (6); RB Justin Jackson (7). Analysis: We might look back at safety Derwin James being the best value pick of the draft, at No. 17. He could have been a top-10 pick. The Chargers keep kicking the can down the road when it comes to finding Philip Rivers’ successor at quarterback but they got multiple players, even on the third day, who can contribute right away. Scott Quessenberry could develop into a starter someday and Justin Jackson might be a solid second running back. If athletic Uchenna Nwosu hits, adding to an already strong pass rush, this was a nice draft. Grade: B

Los Angeles Rams Picks: OT Joseph Noteboom (3); C Brian Allen (4); DE John Franklin-Myers (4); LB Micah Kiser (5); DE Ogbonnia Okoronkwo (5); RB John Kelly (6); G Jamil Demby (6); DT Sebastian Joseph (6); LB Trevon Young (6); LB Travin Howard (7); DE Justin Lawler (7). Analysis: The Rams’ draft class is basically Brandin Cooks, Marcus Peters and Aqib Talib. Los Angeles didn’t have a pick in the first two rounds due to trades. And the Rams did fine finding lower-cost offensive line and edge rush help with what they had. One interesting pick is Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, who was an outstanding edge rusher for Oklahoma and fell to the fifth round. The same can be said for Micah Kiser, an inside linebacker who was a tackling machine at Virginia and came in the fifth round. John Kelly is the type of late-round running back who could return a lot of value, and the Rams need someone behind Todd Gurley. While trading picks for veterans in a salary-cap league has its downside, the Rams aren’t complaining. Grade: A-

Miami Dolphins Picks: CB Minkah Fitzpatrick (1); TE Mike Gesicki (2); OLB Jerome Baker (3); Durham Smythe (4); RB Kalen Ballage (4); DB Cornell Armstrong (6); LB Quentin Poling (7); K Jason Sanders (7). Analysis: You have to wonder if they would have taken Josh Rosen had he slipped one more spot. As is, the Dolphins had to be thrilled with Minkah Fitzpatrick, once considered a possible top-five pick. Mike Gesicki is a great athlete who will be a good receiving tight end that Adam Gase can get creative with, and he matches well with blocking tight end Durham Smythe, a fourth-round pick. Jerome Baker seems to be too much of a situational player to really love him in the third round, and the lack of pass rush help is curious. Grade: C

Minnesota Vikings Picks: CB Mike Hughes (1); OT Brian O’Neill (2); DE Jalyn Holmes (4); TE Tyler Conklin (5); K Daniel Carlson (5); G Colby Gossett (6); LB Ade Aruna (6); LB Devante Adams (7). Analysis: Cornerback Mike Hughes was a best-player available pick for a team with few holes. Offensive tackle Brian O’Neill is a good athlete, which is in line with the Vikings’ offensive philosophy, and Minnesota doesn’t need him to play immediately. Later on the Vikings made the ultimate luxury pick: Kicker Daniel Carlson in the fifth round. It’s nice to draft when you don’t have a lot of needs, though it’s not like this class will blow anyone away. Grade: C-

New England Patriots Picks: G Isaiah Wynn (1); RB Sony Michel (1); CB Duke Dawson (2); LB Ja’Whaun Bentley (5); LB Christian Sam (6); WR Braxton Berrios (6); QB Danny Etling (7); DB Keion Crossen (7); TE Ryan Izzo (7). Analysis: The Patriots kept making trades, pushing some of the picks to next year. That’s generally smart. The picks they did make weren’t slam dunks. Assuming Isaiah Wynn can play left tackle (he doesn’t have ideal height and many thought he’d be an NFL guard), that should be a good pick. The first-round selection of running back Sony Michel, ignoring some defensive needs there, was curious. The Patriots might be the best team in the league at identifying cheap running back talent and it seemed strange they’d invest a first-round pick in one. Cornerback Duke Dawson isn’t considered a can’t-miss NFL starter, but the Patriots needed cornerback depth. And the Patriots previously traded picks for veterans like Danny Shelton and offensive tackle Trent Brown, which helps. Bill Belichick’s moves could pay off down the line, but it’s hard to get excited now. Grade: C

New Orleans Saints Picks: DE Marcus Davenport (1); WR Tre’Quan Smith (3); OT Rick Leonard (4); S Natrell Jamerson (5); CB Kamrin Moore (6); RB Boston Scott; C Will Clapp (7). Analysis: Marcus Davenport might be an exceptional pass rusher but you can’t ignore that the Saints gave up an extra first-round pick next year to take him. That’s a bad value proposition. The next pick was in the third round, and it was receiver Tre’quan Smith. There are better receivers in this class, but Smith lands in a fantastic offense. Offensive tackle Rick Leonard switched from defense to offense during his college career, so he should be a developmental pick. It’s hard to get past the overpayment for Davenport. He needs to make multiple Pro Bowls for that trade to make sense. Grade: D-

New York Giants Picks: RB Saquon Barkley (1); G Will Hernandez (2); OLB Lorenzo Carter (3); DT B.J. Hill (3); QB Kyle Lauletta (4); DT R.J. McIntosh (5). Analysis: A running back early in the first round needs to be a luxury pick, not one you make when fading quarterback Eli Manning is 37 years old. Saquon Barkley needs to be unbelievable to justify the Giants taking him at No. 2 (and to not even consider offers to trade down?), but the good news is he’s the best RB prospect in many years. The Will Hernandez pick helps an offensive line that needs it, and Lorenzo Carter is a freaky athlete and a good pick in the third. The Kyle Lauletta pick seems like a waste (or, last year’s Davis Webb pick was a waste … probably both). I love Barkley as a player but I just can’t buy into the Giants taking him when they had a chance to address the quarterback situation. Grade: D-

New York Jets Picks: QB Sam Darnold (1); DT Nathan Shepherd (3); TE Chris Herndon (4); CB Parry Nickerson (6); DT Foley Fatukasi (6); RB Trenton Cannon (6).  Analysis: Sam Darnold was a perfect pick for the Jets, who were lucky the Giants didn’t take him at No. 2 (which they probably should have). There’s not too much else to get excited about — I get the need for quarterback but trading a lot of picks to move up when you have a thin roster is a tough proposition. Maybe Fort Hays State’s Nathan Shepherd will be a small-school star, and Chris Herndon will be an answer at tight end. I like the Darnold pick — though I hated how much they spent to get him — but if he doesn’t work out there’s not much else to get excited about here. Grade: C+

Oakland Raiders Picks: OT Kolton Miller (1); DT P.J. Hall (2); OT Brandon Parker (3); DE Arden Key (3); CB Nick Nelson (4); DT Maurice Hurst (5); P Johnny Townsend (5); LB Azeem Victor (6); WR Marcell Ateman (7). Analysis: Taking a gamble on a pick or two with red flags can work out. How about taking chances on just about every pick? Jon Gruden’s first draft in his return was a boom-or-bust clinic. In the grade you have to include the trade for Martavis Bryant (who is hard to depend on), and the Raiders used an extra pick gained in a first-round trade down for that. Offensive tackle Kolton Miller is very athletic but also needs to be developed. That pick could go either way. Arden Key has great talent but also as many off-field red flags as anyone. Nick Nelson slipped because of a torn meniscus in a pre-draft workout. Maurice Hurst obviously fell far due at least in part to a heart issue found at the combine. Drafting Johnny Townsend, the third punter off the board in the fifth round, doesn’t exactly bump up the grade. Then the Raiders capped it with Azeem Victor, who was suspended twice last season, once for a reported failed drug test and another for a DUI arrest. Any one of Oakland’s high variance picks could work out. This grade could end up being a strong “A” in three years if everything works out. But it’s hard to remember the last single draft class that contained this much risk. Grade: C-

Philadelphia Eagles Picks: TE Dallas Goedert (2); CB Avonte Maddox (4); LB Josh Sweat (4); OT Matt Pryor (6); OT Jordan Mailata (7). Analysis: The Eagles made the smart move to bail out of the first round and pick up a 2019 second-round pick in the process. Moving one pick ahead of the Cowboys to draft tight end Dallas Goedert at No. 49 was smart; he replaces Trey Burton in the offense. Avonte Maddox is a slot cornerback who can replace Patrick Robinson, who left in free agency. There are concerns about Josh Sweat’s knee, but that’s why he was there in the fourth round and that’s a fine gamble. The pick of mountainous Australian rugby player Jordan Mailata is a fun one. The champs did fine without much ammunition. Grade: C+

Pittsburgh Steelers Picks: SS Terrell Edmunds (1); WR James Washington (2); QB Mason Rudolph (3); OT Chuks Okorafor (3); S Marcus Allen (5); TE Jaylen Samuels (5); DT Joshua Frazier (7).  Analysis: The first-round pick of Terrell Edmunds was curious because safety didn’t seem like a big need and Edmunds wasn’t a slam-dunk first-round prospect. Pittsburgh also drafted safety Marcus Allen in the fifth. The Steelers needed immediate help at inside linebacker and didn’t get it. That stings. Receiver James Washington made sense in the second round after the Steelers traded Martavis Bryant. Mid-round picks at quarterback are often a waste and while Mason Rudolph in the third round isn’t the worst gamble, you can easily see him getting tossed to the discard pile when the Steelers go looking for someone better, as they did with 2017 fourth-round pick Joshua Dobbs. Fifth-round pick Jaylen Samuels is a tight end/fullback/H-back, and he could be a fun piece in a great offense. But overall, it was a strange draft (if Rudolph turns out to be a good starter in the post-Ben Roethlisberger era, the grade will move way up). Grade: D

San Francisco 49ers Picks: OT Mike McGlinchey (1); WR Dante Pettis (2); OLB Fred Warner (3); FS Tarvarius Moore (3); DE Kentavius Street (4); CB D.J. Reed (5); S Marcell Harris (6); DT Jullian Taylor (7); WR Richie James (7).  Analysis: The 49ers march to their own beat. Tackle Mike McGlinchey seemed like a bit of a reach at No. 9, especially ahead of some defensive stars. The 49ers traded up to draft receiver Dante Pettis in the second when it seemed he would have been around later. Kentavius Street came at a discount because of a torn ACL, but he’s a fourth-round pick who probably won’t play as a rookie and the 49ers haven’t had good luck drafting players who slipped due to medical issues. My favorite pick was probably Fred Warner, a versatile and athletic player for the defense. But if you look at the totality of the 49ers’ moves during the Kyle Shanahan-John Lynch regime, we’d have many more questions about them had they not been gifted Jimmy Garoppolo in a trade. But you can’t just yada yada trading a second-round pick for a quarterback like Garoppolo since that’s looking like one of the all-time steals, so … Grade: D+ for the draft, A if you include Garoppolo

Seattle Seahawks Picks: RB Rashaad Penny (1); DE Rasheem Green (3); TE Will Dissly (4); LB Shaquem Griffin (5); S Tre Flowers (5); P Michael Dickson (5); OT Jamarco Jones (5); LB Jake Martin (6); QB Alex McGough (7).  Analysis: I’m not sure what the Seahawks were doing. Pete Carroll told ESPN’s Louis Riddick the Seahawks want to “reset” and get back to running the ball (h/t to Mike Clay of ESPN) which seems like a bad idea in a pass-first league when Seattle has one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. But the picks of Rashaad Penny in the first round and blocking tight end Will Dissly in the fourth align with that philosophy. This probably sums up the Seahawks’ draft: They picked a punter before an offensive lineman, and they desperately need help on the line. And the Seahawks traded up for that punter (though Michael Dickson is a good one). Penny might have been the most surprising pick of the first round, Seattle was drafting to be a ground-and-pound team instead of getting help for Russell Wilson in the pass game, and in general it treated the draft like it could make luxury picks instead of filling holes on a roster that is suddenly in decay. Though I do love that Seattle gave us a wonderful moment with the Shaquem Griffin pick (and I do like that pick strictly from a football standpoint), I’m stunned by its approach this offseason. Grade: F

San Diego State running back Rashaad Penny was the Seahawks’ first-round pick. (AP)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Picks: DT Vita Vea (1); RB Ronald Jones (2); CB M.J. Stewart (2); CB Carlton Davis (2);  G Alex Cappa (3); S Jordan Whitehead (4); WR Justin Watson (5); LB Jack Cichy (7). Analysis: Big Vita Vea completed Tampa’s overhaul on the defensive line, though it’s hard to see Vea having much of an impact on passing downs. Ronald Jones is an interesting second-round pick: Can he be an every-down back? He had some high-volume games at USC, and his game-breaking ability is undeniable. Cornerbacks M.J. Stewart and Carlton Davis need to contribute soon. Overall it’s nothing to get too excited about, unless Jones becomes an elite back right away. Grade: C

Tennessee Titans Picks: ILB Rashaan Evans (1); DE Harold Landry (2); S Dane Cruikshank (5); QB Luke Falk (6). Analysis: The Titans lost Avery Williamson, and replaced him with Rashaan Evans. That was smart. Harold Landry fell further than anticipated, reportedly due to medical issues, but if he’s healthy that’s an outstanding value pick in the second round. It also fills a need because the Titans need a young pass rusher. The Titans had only two other picks, in the fifth and sixth rounds. The sixth-round pick was quarterback Luke Falk, who perhaps can develop into Marcus Mariota’s backup. Tennessee added only two players who are likely to contribute much right away, but both were smart picks assuming Landry is healthy. It’s not without risk, though: If Landry isn’t healthy then this class is incredibly thin. Grade: C-

Washington Redskins Picks: DT Da’Ron Payne (1); RB Derrius Guice (2); OT Geron Christian (3); S Troy Apke (4); DT Tim Settle (5); LB Shaun Dion Hamilton (6); CB Greg Stroman (7); WR Trey Quinn (7).  Analysis: Payne could end up being a nice get. Watch his film from the College Football Playoff for proof; he can be a true disruptor. Derrius Guice was a great value pick, but there’s a reason he fell. However, if there are no more off-field issues with Guice, Washington got a first-round talent near the end of the second round. I’m fine with that gamble. Washington needed some offensive line depth, and tackle Geron Christian in the third round helps. The fourth-round pick of Troy Apke was odd because he didn’t do much at Penn State, but the safety is fast and athletic and maybe can develop while he helps on special teams. I firmly believe Guice ends up being a great pick, which bumps up Washington’s grade. Grade: B+

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Frank Schwab is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at shutdown.corner@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @YahooSchwab

[joshuazev]

On Hamilton: Part Three

If there was one year out of the three that I felt was particularly tough at school it was probably seventh grade.  My experience that year is what I hear from most people when they talk about their entire middle school experience…not good.  I’m not sure I can pinpoint what made it stand out.  Maybe it was the overwhelming amounts of uncontainable energy I had.  Maybe it was a general feeling of irritability that I had in several classes.  Maybe there were other factors.  In seventh grade I had the following teachers:  Mr. Fisher, Ms. Lower, Ms. Hoot, Mr. Levin, Mr. Budnick, Ms. Lambert and Ms. Leonas.  There are probably more, but at the moment I can’t remember.  Mr. Fisher’s class was awesome.  Ms. Lower’s class sucked.  Ms. Hoot’s class wasn’t any better.  Mr. Levin’s class was awesome.  Mr. Budnick’s class was scary.  And Ms. Lambert’s class was problematic.  That’s what it was.  In all of the classes I took in seventh grade there was an overriding feeling of “the problematic.”  

Let’s take Mr. Fisher’s class.  As far as the class went and how he taught it?  Nothing but good things to say.  However, there was a chronic problem of theft going on that year and I unfortunately was a victim of it several times.  You see the lockers at Hamilton weren’t made very well and if you spent enough time jostling it, you could kick the bottom and pop the locker open.  One day I’m walking on the second floor and this guy I knew from middle school comes up to me in passing and says, “I hear you got your stuff stolen out of your locker.”  I hadn’t been there for a long time, so I didn’t really think anything of it.  When I got to my locker room I found that several of my things were missing, among them my Chicago White Sox fitted cap and my cell phone.  I’m not sure what came of it punishment wise, probably nothing I’d imagine.  What it did do was make me deliriously paranoid.  I always carried around a lot of stuff in my backpack and there were several things I used to keep in my locker because I couldn’t hold on to them all day.  After my stuff was stolen I was in a bit of disarray.  As a result. I tried to have all of my valuables on me all the time.  If I thought it could be worth anything I’d carry it on me.  I’m sure the same people who stole my shit the first time attempted to again.  You could always tell when certain stuff wasn’t in the right spot.  How does this relate to Mr. Fisher’s class you might ask.  Well one day during Mr. Fisher’s language arts lesson I was in the corner trying to listen when I saw a few people outside near my locker room.  I could make out there heads just enough that I knew who they were, but I had no clue what to do.  The longer I paid attention the more freaked out I got until finally I saw them start to try to open my locker.  With a kick and a thrust they opened it.  At that point I figured I had to tell Mr. Fisher what they were doing, so in the middle of his lesson I got out of my seat in a panic and stuttered my way through an explanation.  

“Mr. Fisher, Mr. Fisher!  Can you please help me?  There are people in my locker room!”

Mr. Fisher in classic Mr. Fisher mode replied slowly,

“What?  There are people in your locker room?  I wonder what they’re doing there.”

He continued joking until he could see the genuine fear in my eyes and he proceeded to step out of class and see with his own eyes that they were right next to my locker.  He questioned them, they denied, but for the most part it had worked.  I didn’t get anything stolen from my locker the rest of the year, but to be honest I kept it damn near empty.  I still remember the dudes to this day.  One of them I really had known since kindergarten.  He was the same guy that told me in passing about the first time.  The second guy was just a part of that little group.  I did an event a year or two ago and saw that he was helping out with the event, too.  He probably didn’t remember me, but for better or worse I remembered him like it happened yesterday.  He tried to clean up and get his act right, dressed like a little hipster and acting all polite.  There was a moment where I thought I might get kicked out of the event for confronting him and trying to beat his ass, but the more I played the situation in my head, the

“I remember what you did in seventh grade, fuckboy”

scenario didn’t seem like it was worth it.  It’s all good though.  I won’t forget it and I’ll remind him one of these days.  

So.

Ms. Hoot’s class was pretty bad.  She didn’t like me very much and it was very very mutual.  I couldn’t focus or do anything right in her class, not to mention the fact that I felt my math skills (which used to be so good) diminishing every period.  With all those factors in effect, I slipped and sludged through that muck until with great relief I was done at the end of the year.  

Ms. Lower’s class was even worse.  Like terrible.  Awful.  Horrible.  Suffocating.  She sent an email to my mom one time because I wasn’t behaving very well in class.  I’ll never forget it, in the message she called me a “Chatty Carlos”.  My mom even had to laugh at that.  And the worst part about it?  I don’t remember getting any better at Spanish, so beyond being a completely disagreeable person she wasn’t a very good teacher either.  

Mr. Levin was the man, though!  It always helped to have certain teachers that cancelled out the bad ones.  His class was memorable for many reasons.  For one, it was one of the only classes in all my years of schooling that I actually enjoyed.  He legit made science interesting.  It was in his class that we watched many movies, including Supersize Me in its duration.  Like everyone else, I was completely captivated by that documentary.  Can I remember anything else off the top of my head?  Not really.  I remember him eating matzo and keeping passover.  That definitely made him cooler than most.  He was also married to my eight grade spanish teacher, Ms. Sandler.  They always felt like a power couple of sorts to me.      

Mr. Budnick.  You know the movie Full Metal Jacket?  Mr. Budnick was like the Hamilton version of that scary sergeant in the first twenty minutes of the movie, but the extremely quiet version.  He was actually a pretty nice guy, but everyone knew you couldn’t cross him or fuck with him.  If you did, he’d chew you out.  He was one of those older guys that has kind of a weird laugh that only happens every once in a while, so when it does it makes you really uncomfortable because you get the feeling he might have a sword for an arm or like thirty pound boots that he’d use to kick your shins if you acted up.  That so rarely happened, though.  His class was kind of eerie.  

Ms. Lambert taught “I don’t know what.”  I remember two things about Ms. Lambert.  As a class we watched “Whale Rider” and I got kicked out for singing “Play that funky music white boy” because she thought I didn’t say “funky”, but something else instead.  I made it through the semester/year so it had to have been alright.

Ms. Leonas was plain and simple one of the best drama/improv/theatre teachers I’ve ever had.  She used to always start classes imitating the Mike Meyers character Linda Richmanfrom SNL.  

“A monkey is neither a monk nor a key.  Talk amongst yeselves!  Discuss!”

“I’m verklempt”

“It’s ta die for”

It was brilliant and it provided a wonderful atmosphere for everyone in class to get in a good, relaxed, acting mode.  We’d mess around with improv games, exercises, and what have you, but it all culminated in a improv show that we used to present in the auditiorium at the end of the semester.  Damn, I miss that class.

Those were the classes I remember taking and enjoying so much and suffering through.  

The basketball team that year was awesome as well and watching them play at the boys and girls club was even better.  Jordan, Monte, Cedric, Lee, Michael, Jackson, Cameron, Niko, Anthony, Victor.  Most of them went on to be very very good in high school, too.  They ended up losing in a crazy game against Denny when Glenn Brooks, a sixth grader, went off and dropped a bunch of points but still, that team was special.

And there it is.