#i meant to post this two weeks ago lmfao
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earthmixsclowderofcats · 2 months ago
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PieOzone - Battle of the Writers ep 10
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meimeikyu · 8 months ago
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Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post
this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like
also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them
(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)
Cross: Lilac - IU
youtube
this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him
"Will you forget me someday?
Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?
While having a good nap
Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"
Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI
youtube
okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so
"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me
"You always want far too much"
No what I’ve always wanted was one thing
Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"
Dream: INVU - Taeyeon
youtube
god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)
"I think I lost my mind
But it's my kind of love
Without leaving anything
Pour everything out and flop
Suddenly at one point
I see myself exhausted
Even though I'm trying my best"
Ink: water color - Whee In
youtube
okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D
"Gonna make it colored
I'll pick my brush
Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind
Then I will follow my heart
Draw the things that only I have
Gonna do it my way
I don't wanna stay here"
Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI
(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)
youtube
so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao
this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3
"Welcome, well done
Shameless friends of mine
Who's next?
Hang my pretty head in your room
Where is love? Where is my sympathy?
What have we lost?
Is it a farm? Is it society?
Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"
Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu
youtube
oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)
tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)
btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it
"Pounding more and more
I’ll give it all, take my heart
Surely you’re my destiny
It shines fully in my heart"
Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi
youtube
ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it
"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know
I have no bad intentions
You know all 28 reasons to run away
So, why are you leaning into me again?"
Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi
youtube
This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!
"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"
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so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!
i do offer this bonus tho!!
Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend
youtube
in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3
silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare
"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"
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teamatsumu · 1 year ago
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Sincerely Yours
Summary: Orihime crafted her coping mechanism a long time ago.
Pairing: Ishida Uryuu x Inoue Orihime
Word Count: 1,719
Warnings: Smut, Angst, Adultery, Post canon, be warned!
A/N: Another one with the same theme lmfao do I have a problem? I don’t know you tell me (or not)
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Monday
It was the steady drip drip drip of the faucet that woke her up.
Funny. Something so barely noticeable rousing her from sleep. Most days, Kazui could fidget right next to her and she would sleep through it until he actually cried. Thankfully he had started sleeping through the nights by now, which helped a lot.
This faucet was getting louder, though. Or maybe Orihime was too alert now. She couldn’t manage to sink back into her dreams again.
Sighing and struggling to pull herself upright, she prayed Kazui wouldn’t wake up as she untangled his tiny limbs from around her. He only snored a bit before calming down. Orihime felt and heard her shoulders pop. She arched her back and leaned her head back, closing her eyes briefly. The drip drip drip continued.
It didn’t take long to locate the problem area. And no wonder she heard it so clearly. It was the adjacent bathroom. Orihime pursed her lips as she stared at it, contemplating temporary solutions so she could go back to sleep. She’d call a plumber in the morning. She tightened the taps and stepped back to look again. Silence.
A small twinge of victory in her chest, she padded back to Kazui’s tiny bed, squeezing herself next to him carefully. Sleep came quickly afterward.
…………….
The scraping sound of the spoon on the pan rang louder than the sizzling on the neighboring stove. Somewhere behind her, a kids’ show theme song played on the television. Orihime turned around, hot pan in hand, and slid the egg right off it into the plate sitting before Ichigo on the table. He mumbled a quiet thanks, not looking up from whatever news article he was scrolling through on his phone. Orihime returned to the stove, getting ready for the next batch.
There was a steady buzz in her head, very muted but nevertheless there, making it impossible to muster any thoughts at all. She preferred it this way. The many noises around her, the smells, the music on the TV, the fork scraping as Ichigo dug into his breakfast. Too many sounds. Just enough to make sure she couldn’t think.
The rest of the day was more or less the same. First day of the week meant deep cleaning. Kazui was old enough to be left in front of the TV without supervision, leaving Orihime to fall into a perfectly crafted routine of chores that didn’t need a lot of thinking. Constant noise, constant work. It helped keep her distracted. The buzz and fog in her head felt great. Muffled everything and made it impossible to do anything but concentrate on the task ahead.
Wednesday
It was an hour after noon when she finally had the time to actually step out of the house. Kazui sat in his stroller, too busy looking around his new surroundings to notice what Orihime had instantly seen. A small bag cinched at the top and tied in a blue ribbon, sitting on the front steps. Her mind stilled. She knew who sent this.
The tag was a small white square that said two words in familiar, loopy handwriting.
Sincerely yours.
She took off the tag and stuffed it in her pocket. The bag went in her already overflowing purse. No need to open it right now. She worried her lip between her teeth. The buzzing had subsided slightly.
Had he come and dropped this off himself? Had someone seen? She was sure the nosy lady down the corner would have noticed him. He didn’t exactly look like he lived there. His shoes were too clean, his clothes had not a single wrinkle. He was above them.
He was above her.
Her and her distressed long skirt, her overly baggy sweater vest and white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. And her same brown shoes that she had reserved for trips out of the house because they were a relatively new pair. She knew her hair had lost its shine years ago. She was well aware of the little circles under her eyes that someone would notice only if they really looked. Definitely not Ichigo.
But he did. He noticed immediately.
“You haven’t been taking care of yourself, Inoue-san.”
His first words in 5 years. The use of her maiden name, long forgotten among her peers. He remembered, though. He refused to call her anything else. She had laughed off his statement by going on a rant about being pregnant and the bakery and the work at home and oh, she was aging too, I can’t always stay young, Ishida-kun-
She knew deep inside though, she was a corpse when she ran into him.
When she got home later, she opened the package after everyone had settled into bed, sitting on the floor cross legged next to Kazui’s bed. The window was open and the lights were off. A blanket of silver enveloped the room. The bag made no noise as the ribbon fell open. A neatly folded brassiere laid there, a red rose on top.
Orihime’s face was on fire.
Another note was folded into the garment. The same loopy handwriting.
You forgot this on your way out. xx
She buried her face in her hands, throat tightening as she tried not to make a noise.
Friday
“You didn’t have to send it to me,” Orihime sighed, closing her eyes. ‘You could’ve waited two more days. We had plans.”
Uryuu hummed, the vibration sending little chills down her spine. His lips didn’t part with her skin, neither did his hands with her hips. They slid a little farther down, caressing her bare thighs. Simultaneously, his lips moved up, tracing the skin just below her ear. Orihime’s breath caught when his tongue ran up her heated skin.
“Ishida-kun,” She tried to focus. “What if someone had seen you?”
“What makes you think I personally delivered it?” His hips slotted between her legs, making her lean back more. “Maybe I sent someone to deliver it?”
Orihime bit back a smile. “Would you really entrust such a lewd package to someone else?”
That made him stop and lean back, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Okay, you got me. I wouldn’t.”
That got a breathy laugh out of her, head tilted back as Uryuu resumed his ministrations. Careful lips mapping every nerve ending, wily fingertips moving back up, this time tracing the inside of her thighs.
Orihime felt that night, like she had every Friday, when the tattered clothes and wrinkled garments left her body, how he breathed his soul into her hollow heart and brought her back to life.
When was the last time every fiber of her body awakened this way?
……………….
Uryuu had lost much of his uptight personality over the years. He was more relaxed around her now. Softer, almost. Maybe that had to do with the fact that their relationship had far crossed all boundaries, but nevertheless, Orihime welcomed his warm demeanor.
As they lay next to each other covered by a measly white sheet, Orihime ranted about every small detail of her week. There was no sound except her talking, the delicate beat of his heart just below her ear, and the occasional rustling of sheets when either one of them shifted. No pots and pans, no sizzling liquid, no kids’ show, no washing machine beeps or vacuum cleaner hums. It was her only, and the man pressed against her, trained fingertips running across her scalp, relaxing her further.
Uryuu was a wonderful listener. He hummed at all the right places, chimed in with his opinion whenever she prompted it, and made sure to drop in a few compliments along the way. She watched him as he talked, weighing in on the leaking faucet and why she should double-check taps before bed.
How was he the exact opposite of the man she married? Ichigo and Uryuu were so fundamentally different in how they treated her. Where Uryuu could pinpoint so acutely what she was feeling, Ichigo wouldn’t bat an eye if she had a crisis right in front of him.
The opposite of love really was indifference.
“Inoue-san?”
Orihime blinked.
“I lost you for a minute there.” Uryuu smiled. “Are you okay?”
Orihime shook her head. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Uryuu tightened his embrace on her. “Leaking faucets isn’t a very interesting topic.”
A little laughter, more shifting, and then she was resting on his hips, looking down at him. Her hair fell over her shoulder and on his chest, framing the sides of his face.
The air stilled. He stiffened. She smirked.
Her body moved, only slightly. Uryuu inhaled sharply. Heat gathered in her center, crawling over her skin as she moved again, more earnestly. Her hands supported her, pressed to the pillow on either side of his head.
“Orihime.” He breathed, eyes closing and grip tightening on her sides. When he finally slid into her, they both sighed, Uryuu’s more strangled and yearning. His pale skin had flushed pink. As she moved, his skin gathered a thin sheen, head tilted back, bearing his neck.
Something almost primal overcame Orihime as she leaned down and sank her teeth into his skin. Uryuu jerked and cried out, ramming into her so deliciously it made her eyes roll up. She sucked until she was sure she had left a mark, pulling away to see a nice, dark blotch on his creamy skin.
Her head was empty again. But there was no buzzing. There was only a blissful build, steady and impending, rising and teetering until she felt limbless, until Uryuu pulled her down to lay on him as he picked up the pace, her hands pinned to her sides, until all she could do was lay there and take what he gave, until she was screaming and cumming and crying. Until her head was so fogged that nothing mattered.
When she was walking home that night, still hazy and concerningly befogged, her skin still tingling, she had no concerns about returning to her mundane, depressing routine. She would go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and pass the next 6 days in this wonderful buzz. Then she would return into his arms, and let him ignite her once again.
It wasn’t an ideal set up, but it was enough to keep her going.
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Let me know what you think! Taglist is open.
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harunovella · 2 years ago
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embers of a fire ; c.k.
synopsis: you loathed him, you despised him... and you couldn't even truly understand as to why. it was superficial, overly judgmental of you to hate choso kamo... however, a class project forces you to spend time with him. little did you know, the man you couldn't swallow, would be the one man you'd never want to leave your side.
cw: fem!reader, snobbish/holier-than-thou!reader (but she gets better okay!), emo skater boi!choso, college au, enemies (?) to lovers, reader's parents are the source of her bitchiness/aka terrible parents, big bro!choso/lil bro!yuji, kissing, slight angst, love confessions, smut (good ol oral w fem receiving, fingering, no condom...), srry if I miss any! MDNI!
wc: 16k+
an: thank you for 100+ followers! I forgot to announce it when I posted my reiner fic a few weeks ago.... but anyway! okay this is super long and I was considering breaking into two parts but yall are real champs and can def read 16k words lmfao (if not, just yknow like it and finish reading it later). i've got the hots for most of the jjk men and I am OBSESSED with emo goth boy!choso so here you go! title inspo comes from this PHENOMENAL song! enjoy xo
How does one make the most popular and loved girl on campus turn her bright-white, toothy smile upside down into a grimace of pure malice? Pair her up with the loner, emo, goth boy of course!
It was your sophomore year of college which meant getting rid of the same ol' prerequisites everyone and their mother must take during their undergrad. You flew by those classes with phenomenal grades, best of the best, one of the top of your class—and that was a ton of students to compare yourself to. After all, you came from a legacy, a bloodline who (all before you) attended the same university. Hell, there was a hall named after your clan. You were that person. Everyone wanted you or to be you. And you held your head high with the upmost confidence knowing this.
Except there was that one guy... the only person who knew how to get on every single one of your nerves, under your smooth and well maintained skin—Choso Kamo. If anyone else were watching from the outside in, they'd say the man did nothing wrong other than exist and breathe the same air as you, but somehow that irked you.
Everything about him irked you.
From the baggy, dark clothes he wore—shirts two sizes too big and jeans so loose with tears you weren't sure if he did them himself or if it was the style—to the dumb tape (tattoo? you weren't sure) across his nose. The endless amounts of piercings on his ears, septum, and (yes, you somehow managed to notice) his tongue. The god awful tattoos that peeked out from the loose sleeves of his tees when he wasn't wearing a jacket... to the chipped black nail polish on his fingernails and the many odd hairdos he did with his long hair.
Yeah, everything about him rubbed you the wrong way. Especially when he felt the need to skateboard everywhere he went on campus and nearly crashing into you multiple times.
It didn't help that he hung out with two other wackos—one being a pot head who had crackhead energy and the other always wearing the creepiest of grins and smirks as if he were plotting murders in his head.
God, Choso gave you the worst vibes. Of course he'd be assigned to work with you on a project for your Intro to Psychology class. It was a whole get to know someone better assignment that felt so kindergarten. Writing up a report relating to the lessons learned while also becoming friends with someone you didn't know? Hell, that was not going to be you.
You squirmed in your seat at the announcement, rubbing your forehead and sighing. Almost begging Professor Yaga to switch you with anyone... absolutely anyone.
"Don't worry so much," Utahime said as she poked your arm gently.
"I don't get why you're so bothered by his existence," Yuki laughed from behind you, tugging at your hair that sat almost perfectly down your back. "He's kinda hot with that emo vibe he gives off."
"Oh, god," Mei Mei rolled her eyes as she sat on the opposite side of you. "You have such poor taste in men. Bet he has no money."
"Mei Mei," Utahime sighed. "I can switch with you, I've got that knucklehead Satoru as my partner," she nudged her head back in the direction of where the man sat—nearly surrounded by girls fawning over him not so discreetly in the middle of a lecture. You looked over and scrunched up your nose. Wasn't like you had anything against him, actually, he was pretty intelligent and was at your level... he just was a bit too chaotic and always had a flock of girls following him around. It was quite annoying.
"It's fine," you huffed, nearly sinking into your seat before you straightened your back. "Yaga wouldn't allow it anyway. He's stubborn. I'll just... have to... get through it."
"Atta girl," Yuki patted your head as she leaned her chin on her other hand. "And while you're at it, give me his number. I'll gladly snatch him out of your hands once it's all over."
"Doubt I'll be getting anything out of him besides what's needed for the project," you shook your head as you shut your eyes, momentarily meditating to embrace what was to come. Opening your eyes and peeking over your shoulder to spot the man you were paired with, perched in the corner of the auditorium with his focus elsewhere, you cringed. He looked unbothered, completely uninterested and deadpan. He was slouched back in his seat, pen bobbing in between his fingers as his other arm draped over the empty seat beside him. It was then you noticed one of the two delinquents he hung out with was missing, leaving him alone with a talkative Mahito that had been bothering some poor kid beside him about god knows what. Just as you were about to look away, Choso's eyes shifted to meet yours, expression still barren, earning an eye roll from you before you turned your focus back ahead.
"Remember, this will count as 50% of your grade as the remaining 50% depends on how well you do on your exams and attendance. Don't miss class like a certain Getō did," Yaga spoke up. "Class dismissed."
"You know what I want to know?" Yuki started as your group of friends began gathering their things. "Why is it that Suguru and Mahito thought it was a good idea to get stitches as tattoos? Maybe that's what Choso is hiding under the nose tape."
"I thought they drew it on themselves?" Utahime furrowed her eyebrows.
"From what I've heard, they both lost a bet to Choso and had to get those god awful tattoos," Mei Mei spoke as she brushed some of her hair over her shoulder.
You, however, were in your own world. Their conversation went in one ear and out the other as you constantly found yourself stealing glimpses of Choso, annoyance clear in your expression. Anyone but him, really... Why did you have to be paired with him? You probably would've taken Suguru instead if he hadn't skipped. He used to be somewhat normal from what you remember. Back when he was best friends with Shoko and Satoru. You weren't sure what happened there but, to be fair, you didn't care much. Satoru was in his own world, enjoying the constant ego boosts and Shoko hung out with the medical students. You supposed they all went their separate ways.
Just as you were deep in thought, not realizing where you were staring or what you were doing, a masculine, monotone voice startled you. "If you're so intrigued, just take a picture of me."
Blinking a few times before gasping, you looked over to see Choso had been a few steps higher than you, leaning in to speak before walking past you with an indifferent expression on his face. As if he didn't just insult you, making you seem like you were interested in him. "As if!" You huffed, earning a few looks from your girlfriends. "It'd break my poor camera."
"Good one!" A sudden laugh made you jump again in your spot as Mahito patted your head before following Choso.
Swatting him away before running your fingers through your hair, you glared at the two who walked across the auditorium, towards the exit. "Jerks..." you mumbled before snatching your bag and lifting up your chin.
"They really get under your skin, huh?" Yuki pointed out.
"They're beneath me, that's all." With a wave of your hand and a flip your hair, you held yourself high and mighty before exiting the class. Yeah, you were prissy and a bit obnoxious but, hey, that's what everyone loved about you. And their opinions mattered the most... right?
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Choso never understood your hatred towards him. Actually, he didn't seem to care. Plenty of people hated him for whatever pathetic, judgmental reasons—and you probably the same—but there was something different about you. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, but it definitely felt like you were hiding something from him. From everyone.
In all honesty, you had him intrigued. What was it about you that was sounding sirens in his head? You dressed like you were trying to be Elle Woods, in pinks and pastels. You did your hair so neat and perfect—nothing like his chaotic nest. You always held your head high, wore this sweet perfume that was near nauseating. You drove a car he definitely couldn't afford. He was sure you were a spoiled brat of some rich entrepreneur—but he couldn't say you didn't deserve your class spot. Truly, you were intelligent; bright in all ways possible. That, he'd give you credit for. However, your personality? That way of being, so prim and posh? Something wasn't right. As if you were forced to be this way with all the eyes on you.
And maybe that's why he was so "excited" to be your partner for this assignment. He was going to figure it out, what it was that was hidden behind the makeup and hair pins, amongst those designer outfits and manicured nails. Who you truly were, deep inside.
It also didn't help that one day when he was skateboarding around campus to get from point A to point B, he so happened to pass by your car where you were sort of blasting nu metal from an artist he vaguely recognized. All alone, singing—practically screaming—in a secluded parking lot where you believed no one would see you.
Yeah, you definitely were hiding something from everyone. 
Choso departed from Mahito after telling him he was going to stay behind to plan meet ups with you—which, in turn, got some vulgar remark from Mahito. The man with a twisted grin saying how you really needed a good lay and that he hoped Choso would be that. Choso, who was very used to Mahito's unfiltered mouth, didn't even bat an eyelash, just dismissed his friend and leaned against a wall.
"Mei Mei and I gotta split, we have to meet up with Shoko," Utahime spoke as you and your group piled out of the auditorium.
"And I've gotta go tutor Todo!" Yuki waved as she turned the opposite way, leaving you on your own. You didn't mind, wasn't like you didn't have a friend—or at least an acquaintance—in every corner. Actually, you were more than likely going to call up Kiyotaka to see if he wanted to meet you in the library for your weekly study sessions as you both were taking an economics class.
However, that thought went out the door when your focus landed on your beloved goth. In all his emo glory, leaning against a wall with one door propped up against it, you couldn't help but eye him from head to toe. Now that he was standing, you could truly see how big his shirt was on him and how much he really loved the color black. You were amazed he wasn't wearing black lipstick to top it all off. Maybe that was crossing the line for him. Who knows.
Realizing you were staring for much too long—and probably blocking the doorway—you sighed and approached him. "Let's get this over with."
Lifting his eyes from his phone as he scrolled through his socials, meeting your own—disinterested—pair, Choso stood straight with a huff before speaking, "it won't take us one hour to complete this assignment. We have weeks worth of work to do."
"So?" You then crossed your arms.
"So... miss top of her class, you can't half-ass this work. No matter how much you hate me," he said with tired eyes—a look he always carried. You wondered if he ever slept. He wondered if you still had your little heavy metal sessions.
The two of you stared at one another for longer than you should've. You let out a small scoff before rolling your eyes, "whatever. We can meet up for an hour daily. I think that'll be my limit for how long I can endure your demonic aura."
Eyeing you as you had turned your head to the side stubbornly, a small excuse of a laugh left his lips, "I'm not into satanism. Don't worry, Barbie doll, I'm not going to sacrifice you to some nonexistent deity."
Twitching at the nickname he gave you, you sighed and straightened your posture. He knew how to irk you. "Sure, whatever. Then why do you wear upside down crosses?"
"It's for the aesthetic, obviously," he said as if you should've known that. "Same reason why you love to wear those big pearls on your ears, or that scarf with that plaid pattern. Or even those red bottom heels," Choso listed as you found your cheeks heating up. Was he keeping tabs on you? Was he paying the much attention to what you wore? And why were you blushing?! "You call that fashion, I call this fashion," he said as he flicked the earring that dangled from his right ear.
"Creep," you mumbled before reaching into your bag and pulling out a small journal. Removing the pen from it and writing down something, you tore the piece and folded it neatly before handing it over to him, dropping it into his palm as he extended his hand out. "That's my address. Don't go about stalking me and seeing what I'm wearing. Be there at 8PM, no later. We can do this every Monday through Thursday for one hour. Don't bother me from outside that one hour. Got it?"
Looking at his palm, then down at you, he slid it in his back pocket before answering, "sure."
"Perfect! Now you can leave me be. And stop noting what I wear, loser," you stuck your tongue out before walking away. Yeah, you were mature. It just didn't help that you needed to get out of there, and fast. For some reason, your face felt hot and your heart was racing. You were afraid you were going to start stuttering if you stayed any longer. Why was he so nonchalant? And, damn, why did he smell so good?! You weren't even trying to sniff him, but his cologne knocked right into you. Also, why the hell was he so observant of what you wore? He had no right!
As if.... you weren't the same towards him.
He didn't need to know that.
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8PM on the dot. You heard someone knock on your front door, knowing very well it was Choso. You were home alone that evening—as you almost always were as your parents were too busy to focus on their only daughter. You were in the midst of tidying your room—making sure nothing too secretive was lying around—before you made your way downstairs, and to your front door. Sucking in a deep breath and forcing your best scowl, you opened the front door.
In all honesty, the hours that lead up to Choso's arrival were nerve wracking. You weren't sure why. Nothing out of this world, wasn't like he was anyone impressive. Yet you put more effort into your look than you should've for just lounging in your home and working on an assignment. You told yourself it was just how you were. You always looked your best, even at home. Even when you were in those little, pink shorts and an oversized sweater with a cartoon character on it that made you look smaller. It was the first thing Choso noticed when you opened the door—besides the fact that you had subtle makeup and your hair in two little space buns... reminding him too much of his own hairdo.
But, he knew better than to point that out. You'd chew him out.
"Still living with your parents?" He pointed out, though you were sure it wasn't a question and rather a statement.
"So?" You narrowed your eyes. "No point in living in the dorms when I live close to the university. Not everyone lives in a shoe box for an apartment," you crossed your arms as Choso simply blinked.
"And you know where I live because—"
"I— I don't!" You blushed. "I just assumed!"
A subtle grin on his lips as he stood at your door, one hand gripped on the strap of his backpack while the other was deep in the pocket of his grey sweats. So he did own a color outside of black? "And I'm the creepy one."
Snapping your eyes up from the spot they had landed on—definitely not the outline of his dick in his sweats—you hissed, "shut up."
"Can I come in? Or are we going to just stay here and banter?" He asked as you sucked in a deep breath, taking a step to a side and gesturing for him to enter. Without hesitation, he did so. Eyeing his surroundings. The formal living room with modern couches and decor, a dining table and several art pieces hung about. A few framed family photos spotted on the coffee table. It was quite... minimal for a home with a family. Much too clean and pristine. He was starting to understand why you were the way you are.
"Do you want... water or something," you grumbled as you offered, noticing how Choso was curiously studying your home.
"Nah, I've got my own bottle in my bag," he said before spotting your staircase. "Where're we gonna do this?"
Sucking in a deep breath, you pointed upward, "my room." Leading the way towards and up the stairs, you stopped on the second step before turning to look down at him, "don't even think about stealing anything or taking photos. Got it?" You pointed at him as he lifted his hands up in defense before you hummed, turning and treading up the steps.
"I was thinking about stealing one of your panties, but now that you say that—"
"Ugh, gross!" You exclaimed, shaking your head as your steps became stomps. "I wouldn't even doubt it..."
Slightly grinning to himself as he followed you, Choso came to a stop at your doorway as he eyed your bedroom. It was exactly as he expected. Pink... so pink... pink and white with cute things everywhere. Yet, so organized and cleaned up. Like... an unused children's room. This can't possibly be your happy space. So many plushies stuffed on your bed? Sanrio decorations on your desk? A vanity filled with endless makeup products? Well, maybe it was your happy spot. But... it felt like this was some experimental room you were tossed in and put under supervision to see if they could make you the perfect girl.
There had to be something hidden amongst all the bubblegum decor. Something that hinted to the real you.
"Do I sit in all those or in that..." Choso pointed at your bed covered in plush toys or your pink bean bag that sat on a white, fluffy rug. God, how could you even breathe in here?
"You can sit here," You corrected, pulling out your desk chair before you sat in the sea of teddy bears, somehow not disrupting the layout. As if there was a spot specifically for you. "You've got one hour, emo boy."
"Right," Choso sighed as he settled into the white chair.
Lifting your eyes from your laptop as you had flipped it open, you couldn't help but stifle a laugh. He stuck out of your room like a sore thumb. So out of place... Like a black rose amongst a bed of pink. For a moment, you thought it was cute. For a moment. "I'll start with the introductions," you spoke up after nearly clearing your throat from words that weren't uttered but thought out.
Reaching into his bag and pulling out his laptop, Choso looked at you for a moment to see you focused on your screen before his eyes darted around your room, looking for anything off. Your mattress, pillow... maybe behind your dresser or underneath your bean bag. Something hidden. You must've kept a secret collection of records somewhere. Maybe even black band tees. "Sure..."
You started asking the basic introductory questions: full name, where you were born, how old are you, what are you studying... so on and so forth. It was child's play. You wondered how Professor Yaga made this assignment so lengthy when it could've been completed with twenty questions or less. You assumed it was something psychological, suited for the class.
Typing out Choso's answers, he then started asking you the same ones, you answering without missing a beat—or making eye contact. "Lastly, what's your favorite heavy metal band?"
Feeling your lips part, you instantly sealed them as you lifted your focus and shot him a look. "That so is not a question!" You exclaimed, glaring.
Looking at you with a subtle smirk, Choso shrugged, "last one is a freebie for the introduction. You asked me why I am so emo, so I thought it was fair I asked you something I was curious about."
"First of all, you actually are emo. Second of all, I do not listen to heavy metal music. I have no idea where the hell you pulled that out of," you narrowed your eyes, but Choso only leaned back in the desk chair and sighed. "What?"
"Your little head banging sessions in your car beg to differ," Choso said as you blinked, eyes gradually widening as you instantly tossed your laptop onto your stuffed toys before standing to your feet. "The kitten has claws—"
"I don't know what you are talking about but you need to stop stalking me," you pointed your finger at him.
Lifting his hands up in defense, he sighed, "I don't know why you're being so defensive. If it isn't true, if I'm lying, you wouldn't care. But I'm not lying, I know what I saw. You haven't even denied it."
Clenching your jaw as your glared down at him, you pushed your hand against his laptop and shut it as your other hand settled on your hip, "sure, I listen to alternative music that isn't up to my quote unquote standards when no one is around. Sure, I love to scream and bang my head to release my inner frustrations through heavy metal. However, do you think anyone would believe you if you started spreading word? No, they wouldn't, because that's unlike me. I wouldn't do any of that," you said with your eyes still squinted. "Nice try, Choso."
"I have no intentions on spreading rumors—sorry, facts—about you. Actually, with me being the only one to know this, it means I was right about you," he said, looking up at you with that bored expression he so gracefully wore.
Arching an eyebrow, you leaned towards him, "right about what?"
A small smile appeared on his lips as he sat up, looking you in the eyes, "that you aren't who you seem. That all of this," he gestured to your room, "is nothing but a cloaking device forced upon you to hide who you really are. You're just a poor princess trapped in her tower of pink lies. Tell me I'm wrong."
Eyeing him as you kept your focus locked on his, taking in deep breaths, you nearly bit your tongue off. "You are so wrong."
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Choso was not wrong. Nowhere near wrong. Actually, he was burning hot with his assumptions and theories and intuition. You hated that. Yet, you couldn't avoid him. He was your partner and you weren't going to fail an introductory class. Damn that man.
You continued your daily meet ups at your place—sometimes at the library if you knew your parents would be home. Those happened seldom, and Choso didn't even have to ask to know why there was a change in environment. He was well aware your parents would despise him if they saw him. Now a week into your project, Choso was slowly learning more about you, more than what you put out. He was well aware that you had both beauty and brains, he wasn't going to lie, he had eyes. However, he started noticing the little cracks. The holes in you that were created by your own pillars—your parents. They wanted you you be the perfect little girl for them. Since you were the only child, they were so fixated on you and your achievements.
Probably why you had all those trophies from various competitions on a shelf in your home.
You didn't enjoy it, you didn't have to tell him for him to know. He saw it in your eyes whenever you lied and said you had fun competing as a child. (In reality, he was sure you wanted an actual fun childhood.)
It was obvious why you were the way you were. They were carving you out, shaping you the way they wanted. Not how you did.
And Choso was sure, if he pushed hard enough, he'd get you to tip over and break into a million pieces. Pull yourself back together, and bring out a better you. The real you.
Of course, that is once he gets on your good side.
"So how are things with you two?" Yuki asked as the two of you walked along the campus, leaving one of your shared classes. "I mean, you've hardly complained about him since we started working on the project."
Sighing as you held your journal against your chest, you looked off to the side. "He's— He's... there..."
"There?" She asked with a small snicker. "What the hell does that mean? Hey! You still haven't given me his number!"
"I'll give it to you later," you mumbled, looking up at the sky now, eyeing the scattered clouds and the distant birds flying below them.
"Later? Oh! So you did manage to get it, huh?" Yuki grinned, nudging you with her elbow.
"Yeah, a few meet ups in, solely to let him know where to meet up. Can't have my parents seeing him," you said, thinking about the reaction your parents would have if they saw Choso in your room. Oh, how they'd panic. Your father would lose his mind and your mother would—without a doubt—pass out. The thought made you chuckle.
"What's so funny?" The blonde beside you asked, eyeing you with an arched eyebrow.
"Nothing..." you hummed.
"Hmm..." studying you, Yuki then crossed her arms. "So, you've got a crush on him—"
Coming to a complete stop, you turned and eyed her, "excuse me? Repeat yourself? Deranged witch!"
"There she is!" Yuki pointed with a laugh. "For a second I thought I lost you there! You weren't being so bitchy—"
"Shut up," you rolled your eyes, turning back in your spot, continuing to walk. "I do not have a crush on him, where the hell did you get that from?"
"You haven't complained about him once and, well, you are his partner still... you haven't managed to convince Yaga to switch you. And don't give me the whole he won't bullshit, we all know everyone in the faculty and staff adore you. So, what's up? What's got you so... chill? You aren't even fuming like you normally would. C'mon, talk to me. You know I'm the best person to confess to," Yuki grinned with a flip of her hair.
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you shook your head, "there's nothing. We just meet up for an hour, do our work, then go our separate ways."
"So the assignment isn't bringing you two close? I know for a fact it's got 'hime and 'toru fu—"
Lifting a finger, you shook your head, "don't you finish that sentence. Please." Watching her lift her hands up in defense, you shook your head. "He's a hard man to open up. His responses are minimal and almost cryptic. He doesn't speak much when it comes to himself, but he seems very interested in me. Like he wants to unravel me. Creepy in my opinion but... whatever. If it's getting me an A, I'll do whatever."
Watching you wave your hand dismissively, Yuki tilted her head with a small grin, "unravel you, huh? Like... get in your panties—"
A gasp left you as your eyes widened. "Yuki, shut up!" You snapped. "No, it's like— he just wants to get to the deepest bits about me! Not that!"
"Deepest bits, like, having his thick, long, di—"
"I'm walking away now!" You said as you picked up your pace, only to hear her laughing. Yuki knew how to get under your skin, but not in a spiteful way. She just liked to bug you, your reactions were golden, so she could only imagine how you were when you were with Choso.
In all honesty, as much as she loved pestering you for his number, she couldn't help but think... you two would actually be quite the power couple. There was something about opposites attracting that made her swoon, especially when it was her little, preppy, best friend and a very handsome, depressed looking, goth boy. The image of you two being together made her smirk. She needed to do something about it.
Walking towards your car as you let out a huff of annoyance, you pulled your keys out from your bag and eyed your surroundings for a moment. Secluded. Just like how you liked it. This was why you always parked here, towards the back of the campus near the history wing. Not many people ventured this way, it was the perfect hideaway.
Unlocking your car and slipping inside, you set the keys in the ignition and plugged your phone in. Taking in a deep breath as you settled in your seat after tapping your favorite playlist, you started bobbing your head to the music. Then, before you knew it—as the rhythm was flowing through you—you started singing (screaming?) along. You were so into it that you nearly forgot your surroundings. That is until your eyes landed on your favorite loner.
There, standing across the way on the sidewalk with one hand clutched onto his skateboard and the other holding his cigarette in between his index and thumb, was Choso. Watching you with a smirk on his lips. When did he get there? How did you not notice? You weren't even a song into the playlist!
With a huff, you lowered the volume and shoved your door open, not bothering to shut it as you stomped over towards the stoic man. He simply stood there, taking a drag and puffing air as you came up, practically barring your fangs. It was cute to him, you looked like an angry kitten. "You!" You pointed as Choso simply took another drag.
"Yeah," he breathed, watching as you stopped before him, just before the curb as he stood towering before you with the additional inches from the sidewalk.
"Where— Where the hell did you come from?!" You shrieked.
"My mother's—"
"No! I didn't see anyone!" You whined as Choso sighed, taking one last inhale from his cigarette before putting it out.
"What? Bummed someone knows you have little therapeutic head banging sessions?" He slightly tilted his head. It was then you noticed his hair was down, in all it's disarray glory, sat beneath a dark grey bucket hat. He wore a baggy tee again, a plain black one and matching sweats. His feet covered in beat up converse this time around. You were so deep in your studying—gawking—that Choso cleared his throat.
Snapping out of it, you looked up at him again and frowned, arms folded as you stomped a foot pathetically, "what is it that you want from me?!"
"Nothing, really," he shrugged. "Just that you quit being someone you're not. Y'know, for someone who judges others for being their true selves."
Fighting the urge to gasp, you bit your tongue, instead, grabbing his hand and yanking him. You pulled him along to your car, opening the passenger door and nearly shoving him inside. Shutting the door behind you, you then rounded the car and took the drivers seat. With the sound of the car locking, you turned up the volume again and sat there with your arms crossed. Your focus was straight ahead as Choso took a minute to take in his surroundings. Your car—a cute, white, Mini Cooper—smelled like spring days. Nothing out of place, cleaned as if you've never used the car before. You had a little dancing flower on your dashboard and a pink ribbon wrapped around your mirror into a bow. Yet, the music emitting from within did not match the interior.
Eyeing the screen before him, he then leaned back into the seat, recognizing the artist as one he listened to religiously. "So, are you kidnapping me?" He asked, turning his attention ahead, eyes aimlessly gazing around his surroundings.
"No," was all you said before raising the volume up. "I know you won't say anything, no one would believe you anyway." Feeling his eyes on you, you bit your inner cheek before mumbling, "and it's nice... having someone to enjoy this with..."
Seeing the way you stubbornly kept your focus anywhere but on him, Choso couldn't help but tease you, "I think you're finally getting soft on me—"
"Don't get used to it!" You snapped, now looking and pointing at him.
Lifting his hands up in defense, Choso looked ahead once again with a small sigh, "is it okay if you go over my place tonight?"
Blinking, your eyebrows narrowed, "why?"
"It's personal," was all he said, voice lower than before. You couldn't help but frown. Personal? "I can't leave home tonight."
"Oh... Kay..." You trailed, studying him and seeing how his demeanor changed, no longer in a teasing mood. "Fine. Since you were such nice company, I'll allow it."
Rolling his eyes, Choso couldn't help but feel a twitch of a smile grow on his lips, "whatever. I'll text you my address."
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"Apartment 310..." you sighed, eyeing the grey door before you decorated in nothing but a peephole and... an odd decoration hanging from the door knob. Something resembling that of a child's creation in arts and craft class. You'd have to ask Choso about that—
The sound of heavy, rapid footsteps and excited yelling was heard from the other side of the door, causing you to lean in with furrowed brows. Did he have company? Or was that a really loud TV? Knocking on the door as you had leaned back and stood straight, you heard the heavy footsteps once again—except this time approaching. Seeing the door swing open, your eyes widened.
"What—" seeing no one before you, no sign of Choso, you tilted your head. "Who—" lowering your focus, a pair of big, bright eyes gazed up at you. A little boy, easily 4 or 5, stood before you with a look of awe. His pink hair was messy—ruffled in different directions, as he wore a hoodie with tiger ears and matching shorts plus white socks covering his tiny feet. "Oh... this must be the wrong place... I'm sorry—"
"Yuji! What did I tell you about opening the door?!" Hearing a familiar voice call out—much more intense than you had ever heard of before, you turned your head to see Choso approaching. However, the sounds of whimpering caught your attention as the little boy—which you now learned was named Yuji—was tearing up. "Oh no... I'm sorry, I didn't—" kneeling before the little boy and lifting him in his arms, Choso rubbed his tiny back. "I didn't mean to scare you. But, please, listen to me, okay?"
"O— kay..." the little boy sniffled.
Watching this all unfold, eyes wide in shock, you shook your head and swallowed. What... just happened? Who was this little boy? And why did the sight before you—Choso being so gentle—make your insides twist? "Umm..."
"Come in," Choso nudged his head for you to follow. You, closing the door behind you, did so. He lead you to the living room (which was really just a couple of steps ahead of you) as he sat on the couch, settling the little boy down and wiping his tears as you slowly sat besides the older man. "You can play for thirty more minutes but you must clean and put away all your toys and get ready for bed after, okay?"
"Mhm!" Yuji nodded his head in excitement, only to turn his head to look at you, gasping as he nearly had forgotten you were there. "Choco, is this your girlfriend?" The little boy asked, suddenly all giddy, causing your heart to skip a beat as your eyes widened. Girlfriend?!
"No, she's just a classmate," Choso clarified as you frowned, slightly offended for whatever insane reason. As if you should be insulted by that! Why did he answer so casually? How was he always so calm?! "Why don't you introduce yourself?"
"Okay!" The little boy exclaimed, taking quick steps to stand before you, "hi! My name is Yuji Itadori!"
Blinking a few times, looking down at his tiny hand as it was extended towards you, you took it in your own and gently shook it. "Hi, Yuji... I'm—"
"I know who you are!" He gasped, saying your name as he pointed at you while jumping. "Yeah! That's you! Choco talks—"
"Okay, Jiji, that's enough, go play with your toys," Choso shooed him as Yuji frowned, then gave the older man a small glare before stomping away, mumbling to himself.
Letting out a small breath, you looked at Choso, "you're a young father... he must look a lot like his mom."
"I'm not his dad," Choso clarified, shaking his head as he was covering his mouth, still processing what Yuji was about to say. With a deep breath, he then leaned back against the couch, "his my little brother. Half brother, actually, but... yeah. I'm his legal guardian."
Eyeing Choso as he had yet to look at you, almost as if he were deep in thought, you simply nodded. This must've been what was personal. His little brother, Yuji. "Oh... I see." Not wanting to press, you opened your bag and pulled out your laptop to get ready for your hour session. Just before you did, you gave him one look, realizing he was still dressed similarly to earlier—hair down, a t-shirt and sweats, but now no sneakers... only socks. Turning back to your laptop, Choso did the same as he lifted his from the coffee table before him, getting straight to work.
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Thirty minutes had passed and Choso excused himself for a moment, mentioning how he had to make sure Yuji put himself to bed. As he did that, you continued your work, even if your mind was wandering off to uncharted waters. Thoughts of Choso... Choso being a fatherly figure. Again, it was stirring something unwanted within you. You had to force yourself to think about something else.
That is, of course, until a shadow casted upon you. You looked up, behind you to see Choso looking down at you. A small yelp left you as you gulped, quickly turning your attention away as you noticed Yuji standing beside him—hand in hand with Choso. "Oh?" You blinked as the little boy smiled. You realized he was now dressed in his pajama—a cute, dark blue set, with little animals scattered around it.
"I wanted to say good night! So... good night!" He waved with his free hand.
"Good night, Yuji. It was nice meeting you," you smiled back at him before Choso guided him back to his room. The grin on your lips wouldn't fade away, you had to admit, Yuji was adorable.
The cutest kid you've ever met. Hearing distant mumbling, your curiosity got the best of you as you settled your laptop onto the coffee table and stood up. Quietly walking to the small hallway where the two bedrooms and bathroom sat, you carefully peeked over. Choso was kneeling before Yuji's bed, reading a bedtime story. You could see the little boy was fighting sleep as his eyes fluttered closed. Choso noticed this, too. Standing up and making sure all of the plush toys were surrounding him—the way his little brother liked it—Choso leaned in and kissed his forehead good night before gently caressing his hair.
Your heart was racing. You hadn't noticed it. Forcing yourself to look away and walk back to your spot on the couch, you found yourself nibbling on your bottom lip. Trying to focus on your work, you couldn't seem to get passed the single word you typed out. The images of Choso caressing Yuji's back, wiping his tears, holding his hand... and tucking him in... it made you feel so uneasy. It made your heart race. It made your face heat up.
"Okay, he's asleep," Choso said, snapping out of your thoughts as you clinched. He noticed but stayed silent.
"I can keep meeting you here if you need me to," you said, eyes practically glued to your screen, refusing to look up at him. You knew if you looked him in the eye you'd do something foolish. Probably even blush.
"I normally have a babysitter if he doesn't have his evening karate class... but money has been getting tight," he confessed, causing you to look up at him as he reached for his laptop and sat back down. You couldn't help but feel sympathetic. As much as you weren't fond of Choso—for petty reasons—you could only imagine how much he was struggling to raise a little boy on his own.
"It's okay, you don't need to explain," you said, "I like Yuji. He seems like a really sweet boy."
Looking at you, Choso wore a subtle smirk, "he's my bloodline."
"Whatever," you playfully rolled your eyes. "He's innocent and I like his hair."
"You don't like mine?" Choso slightly tilted his head, letting the strands fall to a side. You couldn't help but smile, shaking your head. "No? Wow. Is it because it's not pink?"
Letting out a small laugh, you reached over to touch his hair without thinking. You wrapped some around your finger, twirling it before letting it fall loose, "it's not so bad..."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
Eyeing one another as a comfortable silence fell between the two of you, you felt your heart begin to race the more you looked at him. Shyly looking away, you cleared your throat. "Let's finish today's work."
Studying you and the subtle blush that tinted your cheeks, Choso nodded. "Yeah."
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It was becoming more and more apparent to Choso how much you were softening up to him. Maybe it was because you saw a different side of him after your first visit to his place... or maybe you just wanted to be seen as a saint in little Yuji's eyes. Whatever it may be, you weren't so easily agitated anymore. It caught him off guard when you started giving him small smiles—in which his would subtly reciprocate. He had to test his waters, of course. Maybe you were smiling to someone behind him? But no, it was towards him.
Then, you started inviting him to your little in-car-concerts. He would recommend you music that you'd soon find yourself playing on repeat while alone or in the comfort of your earphones. Other times, you'd recommend him songs in which he'd learn the lyrics to almost the very next day—Choso wouldn't admit it to you, but he kind of wanted you to be impressed. And, you were.
Choso also noticed just how attached his little brother grew to you. Every visit you made for your hourly sessions, you found yourself coming earlier and earlier to spend time with the little boy. He had always asked you to play with him or to watch his favorite movie, but you had told him you couldn't while working on your project, so, of course—in his infinite wisdom—little Yuji suggested you come earlier. And you did.
There was even a routine you started with the duo: helping out Yuji to sleep, even if Choso insisted You didn't have to (you had to, solely because Yuji begged you to... and you did want to, too).
You were... changing, to say the least; and Choso wouldn't complain nor want to stop it.
However, your parents began to notice.
It wasn't as subtle as you thought. You were well aware of the change in demeanor you had. You were nicer to those you once were quite bitchy to. You weren't so stuck up nor snobbish—as Yuki liked to point out—and you were actually associating yourself with others you once saw beneath you.
This... wasn't a good look, at least, not in your parents eyes.
"Why are you always sneaking away?" Your mother had asked. An odd question coming from her when she nor your father were never around. "Are you secretly dating someone?!"
Growing wide eyed, you shook your head. "No? I have an assignment I've been working on with a partner. We meet up together."
"Uh huh," your mother crossed her arms. "Don't think we don't notice these changes," she gestured at your figure. "Your attitude is becoming much too laid back and care free. You aren't on time like you used to be and you are becoming careless with your fashion! Are you on drugs?!"
"Mom! Of course not?!" You shrieked, narrowing your eyebrows at her accusation. "I'm not changing, I'm still me!"
"Yeah? Is that so?" Walking around the kitchen counter and pulling out something, your eyes widened at the sight of your (what once was hidden) vinyl records. "Satanic music!" She waved them as she approached you again, then handing them to your father who stood beside her. "I will not tolerate this!"
Watching your father snap the records, a sharp gasp left your lips as your eyes instantly welled up in tears. "That— That isn't satanic music! That's just music! It was a gift! How could you?!" You cried out as your body trembled at the broken pieces on the ground. A gift Choso had given you during one of your sessions after remembering you had a record player.
"You think we don't know what the hell this is?!" Your father finally spoke, shaking the two pieces in his hands. "You, sneaking around behind our backs?! You probably have been smoking pot in your room—"
"I'm not! It's just music, for heaven's sake—"
"Don't you raise your voice!" Your father snapped as you hiccuped.
"You— You two are being ridiculous! Over music?! You broke a gift someone important gave to me!" You exclaimed, chest heaving as the anger and rage boiled up within you. You were blinded that you hadn't realize the confession you made, too focused on the fact that they had destroyed the practically brand new vinyl you were afraid to touch because you wanted to preserve them. Yet, that went out the window. "All because you're too scared your perfect daughter isn't all about unicorns and rainbows anymore because she's a damn adult! I'm sick and tired of being someone you want me to be that I'm not!"
Hearing them scoff your name, you shook your head and turned to grab your keys, ignoring their yells as you stormed off. You didn't look back, slamming the main door of your home behind you before rushing into your car and speeding off. Your vision was blurred from the endless tears as you continuously wiped them away. You didn't seem to care about speed limits or being pulled over, you just wanted to get away as far as possible.
And as far as possible was at Choso's.
You found yourself crying into his chest the moment he had opened the door. He lead you to his couch—that you grew familiar with—and settled you there before coming back with tissues and water. He wiped your tears as you explained what happened, whimpering along the way as Choso frowned for you. The more he learned about you, the more he knew you were just a bystander of your parents ruthless grip. He was sure the person you had been becoming around him was the woman inside begging for freedom... and to see you cry like this? Sobbing over the gifts he gave you and snap at your parents? His heart was aching. 
At some point, a worried Yuji came waddling in with a plush toy—one you learned to be his favorite—as he handed it to you for comfort. Claiming it made him feel better when he was sad. You thanked the little boy as you caressed his cheek before hugging his tiny body. He couldn't help but stay lingering, sitting beside you in hopes you'd feel better.
"You're welcome to come over whenever you want," Choso offered. "Even if I'm not here, I have a spare key hidden under my front mat. Not wise, I know, but things happen."
Smiling at him as you sipped at the water Choso had handed you, you shook your head, "I couldn't... I don't want to intrude."
"Believe me, you're not," he said, looking you in the eyes with a worried expression. "I rather you feel safe and wanted here than anxious and afraid in what's supposed to be your own home."
Looking down for a moment at the stuffed Spider-Man in your hold, you then looked over at Choso, "thank you."
"You can sleep over!" Yuji exclaimed as he bounced in his spot. "We can watch a movie and—and eat popcorn!"
Looking over at the eager, little boy, you let out a soft chuckle, "okay, Jiji." Seeing him clap in excitement, he pushed himself off the couch and rushed away to his room.
"I'll get you something to sleep in, and you can stay in my bed," Choso stood as you turned your attention to him, watching him walk away. Before you could protest, he waved his hand, "don't worry about it. I've fallen asleep plenty on the couch with Yuji."
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Choso's clothes were even baggier on you. The shirt was a dress and the sweats he offered hung so loosely you had to tie them up with a spare hair tie. However, you didn't seem to mind. They were comfortable and they... smelled like him. You hated to admit it, but the times you've got whiffs of him, you indulged. He smelled so good, like fresh laundry. There was a hint of spice, maybe the subtle cologne he used or the possibility that he liked his home smelling like the fall. Whatever it was, it filled your senses as you lied on his bed and it... made you feel safe.
After watching a movie with Yuji—which he chose to be Big Hero 6–you retired for the night. Choso gave you brand new toiletries to use as needed as well as clothes, telling you to feel free and use whatever you needed. It made you feel... wanted. You hadn't felt like this in so long. Sure, your friends were wonderful people, but even then you hadn't felt like this. You couldn't quite describe it, really. Besides the feeling of being noticed and needed, even if it was subtle, there was that thing bubbling within you that only Choso ignited.
Turning on your side and seeing the analog alarm clock on his bedside table, you sighed. It was half past midnight and, for some reason, you couldn't sleep. Maybe it was being in someone else's bed. Maybe it was your parent's words. Whatever it was, it had you getting up and wrapping a throw over your body as you aimed for the living room.
Gently nudging Choso as he seemed sound asleep, resting on his back as he took the entire length (and more) of the couch, you frowned. "Choso..." You whispered.
Mumbling and groaning, the sound made you blush as he peeked an eye, "what is it?"
"Sorry... I can't sleep..." you confessed. "Umm... can you... can you come back to bed with me? Maybe having someone there will make me feel at ease..."
Rubbing his eyes as he sat up, Choso grabbed the pillow he slept with and tossed the blanket over the cushions before following you to his room without a word. Maybe it was because he was half asleep, but he so easily slipped into his bed, lifted the sheets for you to join him, and casually spooned you from behind. You were flustered at first—of course! But then you eased into his warmth with a pleasant sigh as you closed your eyes.
Only to open them at the sound of faint whimpering.
Sitting up, you looked around the room, only to see Yuji standing at the foot of the bed—one arm wrapped around his Spider-Man plush as his other had his tiny hand balled into a fist, rubbing his eye. "Yuji?" You quietly called to him. "What's the matter?"
"Nightmare..." he pouts. "Choco let's me sleep with him when I have them..."
"Oh," looking over at Choso and seeing he was dead asleep, you looked back at Yuji. A soft smile graced your lips before you waved a hand for him to join you. "C'mon, the more, the merrier."
Crawling up to you as you helped settle him in between you and Choso, you pulled the quilt over the two of you before petting his hair, telling him to sleep well. That he was safe.
Just like you.
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Morning had come and you woke up to both Yuji and Choso gone from the bed. You went to do your (simplified) morning routine as you washed your face and brushed your teeth. Once exiting the room, you were greeted with breakfast—Yuji happily nomming away as Choso looked as if he were about to leave somewhere.
"Morning," you greeted as Yuji patted the seat beside him—in which a full plate of food sat. "Where you headed off to?" Eyeing Choso and seeing he was in a pair of black jeans and a band tee—with his beloved Doc Marten's and hair in its spiked buns—you tilted your head.
"I've got work," he said. You recalled him mentioning he worked at a record shop (see broken vinyls that were once your prized possession from him). "I have to take Yuji to a family friend to babysit—"
"Oh, let me," you offered. "It's the least I could do. Let it be my thank you," you nodded. "I'd have to get some stuff from my place but I can bring him with me. I'm sure Yuji wouldn't mind."
Nodding his head eagerly, Choso looked at his little brother, then you, "alright, I guess that's okay. I'll have to let Nanami know."
"Nanamin will get why!" Yuji waved his tiny hand. "Choco's pretty friend will babysit! She's now Yuji's best friend!"
"What about Megumi and Nobara?" Choso asked as he leaned over Yuji to steal some of his bacon, earning a swat from the little boy.
"They— They are!" He exclaimed. "But now I have an older best friend!"
Smiling at them, you gave Yuji's cheek a gentle pinch, "I'd happily be your best friend."
"Yay!" He clapped before sticking his tongue out at Choso.
"Okay, okay," Choso waved a hand. "I'll go ahead and put his car seat in your car so you have it ready."
"Okay, thanks," you said as you began to eat. You couldn't help but feel excited to spend the day with Yuji... as odd as that sounded. He was an entertaining little boy and he really seemed to love you like his own blood.
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"Okay, Yuji," You said as the little boy gawked at the size of your home, calling it a castle. You showed him around the house, even your backyard, before you made your way up to your room. "I'm going to shower and then we can head back to your home, okay?"
"Okay!" Yuji's muffled voice called out as he had now found himself stuffed in the horde of plush toys on your bed. He couldn't help but toss himself in it the moment he saw them all. You didn't mind, whatever made the boy happy.
"Stay there, alright?" You pointed as he rolled over and nodded, only to spot a pink dog. "Yeah, has your color, huh?"
"Same hair!" He pointed at his head, earning a sweet chuckle from you.
"I'll be quick," at that, you closed the door and took a quick shower. You folded up the clothes Choso leant you and reminded yourself to wash them at his place so your parents weren't suspicious if you left them at home.
Changing into a pair of grey leggings and an oversized, white hoodie that had TOKYO written across the chest in varsity letters, you slipped on socks and exited the bathroom. Just as you reached for a pair of sneakers, you noticed Yuji was knocked out on the plushes. Smiling, you slipped the shoes on, grabbed your tote bag that you filled with your things—plus Choso's clothes—then reached for Yuji and held him against you as he rested against your shoulder.
Careful enough to leave your home and shut the door quietly, you put him back into his car seat and buckled him in before you went for the drivers seat and made your way back to Choso's.
That afternoon was quite busy. You finished up your assignments that were due the following week, did some cooking for lunch that you enjoyed with Yuji, played with him and watched movies, then cooked again for dinner. For the most part, Choso's fridge was filled with a lot of children's food. The occasional fruit and vegetable, too. But a lot of kiddie portions. He truly cared for his little brother, it warmed your heart how attentive he was. How responsible and how much of an effort he put into Yuji's life.
After dinner, you took Yuji for a small walk to get some fresh air and enjoy the sunset. You sat at a park bench for a bit and talked about his favorite TV shows and video games before you walked hand in hand back to his home.
Watching some episodes of a TV show you loved as a kid—one Yuji never knew of—the two of you dozed off on the couch. This was what Choso came home to.
His heart raced at the sight, you with Yuji curled up against you as you shared a blanket. A small smile grew on his lips as he took his shoes off and quietly walked over. Carefully lifting up Yuji, ready to put him to bed—as it seems you had already taken care of bathing, brushing his teeth, and changing him into his pajamas—you squirmed awake. "Good evening, princess."
Sighing, you stretched before sitting up. "Hi."
"You can stay again, if you'd like," Choso offered but you shook your head with a gentle smile.
"I should go home... even though my parents don't seem to care as I haven't received a single phone call or text," you sighed, standing up to gather your things before walking to his front door.
Following you, Choso opened the door for you with his free hand as his other kept Yuji against his shoulder. "Like I said before, you have a place to stay here."
Looking up at him as you felt your heart flutter, you smiled again. A silence washed upon you two as you quietly gazed at one another. Tiptoeing, you gave his cheek a sweet, lingering kiss, before settling back, "thank you."
Eyeing you as his focus flickered between your eyes and your lips, Choso felt himself leaning forward, just about ready—
Feeling Yuji squirm, Choso straightened his posture as you blushed, waving goodbye before exiting his apartment. "Yeah... goodnight, princess..."
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"...and then... I kissed his cheek. After that, I could've sworn we would've, you know..." you waved your hand, "kissed..."
"Kissed?!" Yuki exclaimed as you shyly nodded, blushing. You had told her everything from your parents wrongfully snapping at you, to you staying with Choso... up until you left the following day. Which had been yesterday. "Why didn't you?!" She gasped as she leaned towards you.
The two of you sat on a bench out in the main, open courtyard, usually doing this after your shared class before moving onto your next one. "I— I don't know... but, either way, I shouldn't..." you sighed, fiddling with the hem of your dress.
"Why not?" Yuki furrowed her eyebrows.
"Because... it'll never work out. We can't be together..." you trailed before sitting up with wide eyes. "Either way, it's not like I have feelings!"
Narrowing her eyes as she stared at you, Yuki shook her head, "I think you're lying. You wouldn't be this way if you didn't feel anything for him. You've changed, in a good way. You're telling me you stayed in his home, in the same bed... and feel nothing? The fact that you ran to him before thinking of anyone else, like... me?! And then you two almost kiss?! Come on!" She threw her hands up before slumping in her seat. "You've gotta follow your heart, and it's clear what she wants."
Turning your focus away from her, your heart skipped a beat. In the distance, you spotted the man of the hour walking alongside Mahito and Suguru. Swallowing the sudden lump in your throat as he noticed you, you shyly waved with a faint smile as he reciprocated the action.
Grinning at the sight, Yuki nudged your knee with hers, "can't knock it till you try it."
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After the incident with your parents, you found yourself showing up at Choso's much earlier than normal. He didn't question, knowing very well you were avoiding your parents, simply welcoming you in (more like Yuji shoving his older brother to a side to hug your legs and shriek your name). You truly have grown to love Yuji more and more after each passing interaction.
You and Choso finished your work earlier than usual, deciding to sit together and watch some TV with Yuji sat in between. Usually, he was playing with his toys or Switch, but he always made time to be with you. Even if he was in the middle of using his brother's phone to FaceTime his two best friends. As you were in the midst of watching comedy reruns, Yuji was in the middle of squealing and laughing, talking loudly as one of his best friends—Nobara—basically met his level of excitement. You had actually met his two best friends a few times after Yuji had them over. You learned that Nobara was like his long lost twin while Megumi was the level headed one of the three. Usually quiet, but every now and then showed his own wave of emotions that almost matched the other two.
"Say hi!" Yuji said as he lifted the phone to your face.
"H— Hi, you two," you waved as you gently pushed the phone back so you could see them properly.
"Hi!" Nobara waved happily, sitting up in her seat and giving you a toothy grin.
"Hello," Megumi shyly waved as you chuckled. Yuji claimed Megumi had a crush on you, but you liked to think he was just timid. (Though, you weren't sure how, when his parents—who you had met that same day you had met him—were the complete opposite of him).
Suddenly with his eyes glued on the TV and practically dismissing his best friends, Yuji pointed, "a festival!" He said, watching the ad that appeared on the screen. "Choco, can we go?" He asked, wide eyes looking up at his big brother while kicking his legs in excitement. "All three of us?!
"Sure, if she wants to," Choso said as he ruffled Yuji's hair before the little boy looked up at you, awaiting your response.
"Oh, of course!" You nodded before bringing the phone back to the little boy's attention. "We can go Friday night." Already distracted by his best friends, you let out a small laugh before looking at Choso who shrugged.
The upcoming days went by like a breeze. To your luck, your parents were away on a business trip (without telling you until your mother's assistant left you a text). You rolled your eyes and didn't seem to care, you were used to being on your own rather than have a set of parents around to raise you. It was something that haunted you during your late night thoughts. However, unlike before, you had two people that made your days seem a lot better. Two people you felt as if you could breathe around and not have to worry about proper etiquette and perfect manners.
Friday had finally arrived and your classes came and went. You had met Choso at his place and carpooled with him after letting Yuki know where you'd be. The girls had made last minute plans to go to the movies but, like the great person she was, Yuki offered to make an excuse for you. No one but her knew how close you had grown to Choso. It wasn't like you were... intentionally hiding it, it was known he was your partner. However, you didn't think it needed to be known. It wasn't like you were a couple.
Now enjoying your time at the festival, playing games together (in which Choso had to help Yuji), eating great food and riding some rides, you had won Yuji a tiger plushy that was the size of him. He was a happy boy, but the smile on his face was wider than you had ever seen. He thanked you profusely as he hugged it tight and decided to name it after you (you didn't mind, it was a cute gesture).
Now seated on the ferris wheel as you eyed the environment around you, Yuji sat in between you and Choso as he watched the fireworks with stars in his eyes. You couldn't help but look at Choso with a gentle smile as he looked at you. Soft gazes being exchanged as you felt your heart race, blushing before the two of you looked away. You hated how fast your heart would beat within your chest whenever the two of you made eye contact. It made your stomach turn each time... Maybe Yuki was on to something when she said listen to your heart. As obvious of advise as it was.
"I had a great night," you said as you were now back at Choso's place, standing before your car as he held a sleeping Yuji in one arm and his giant stuffed tiger in the other. "Thanks for inviting me."
"Don't thank me, thank Yuji," he nudged his head towards the sleeping little boy, causing you to chuckle. "I'm glad you came. I would say it must be lonely going back home, but you must be used to it."
"Yeah, I am," you sighed. "But at least I had fun and I can think about that if I get in my head," you tapped your temple, earning a small smile from Choso. "I hope to do something like that again."
"Yeah, me too..." he nodded, eyeing you.
A silence weaved before the two of you as your eyes gazed into one another's. Taking in deep breaths as you could hear the blood pumping within your ears, you tugged Choso down by the collar of his shirt as your lips pressed against his own. Your other hand slid into his hair, through the loose bun he held it in as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss. You didn't think much into it, actually, you felt you were in a fever dream as your tongue slid against his bottom lip before his tongue met your own.
As if you realized what you had just done, you pulled away and took a small step back, looking down at Yuji's resting body before wiping your lips with the back of your hand. "Sorry— I shouldn't have done that. I need to go." Without hesitating, you turned and rushed to the driver seat of your car, leaving Choso with a heart thudding in his chest and confusion floating around his head.
Then Monday came around. You had the intention to act like nothing happened when you met up at his place, casually conversing with Yuji and enjoying your time before you got to work. However, Choso was on a different boat. You were breaking out of that disguise and showing your real self, and having you kiss him said a lot. Why the hell would he act like it didn't happen when you clearly wanted it?
"Stop looking at me like that," you said as you typed away.
"How do you expect me to?" Choso asked.
"By looking away?" You shrugged but Choso rolled his eyes, closing your laptop as you gasped. "Hey—"
"I don't know who you've been with before, how your past relationships or whatever were like, but I don't do hookups or whatever the hell the kiss on Friday initiated. You tried acting like nothing happened these past three days, even though you were clearly avoiding me and my messages. Yuji wanted to take you to the aquarium yesterday and you simply left me on read only to answer hours later—"
"Oh, god, it was just a dumb kiss!" You rolled your eyes.
"So dumb that there was tongue?" Choso lifted an eyebrow.
"I got carried away, alright? It meant nothing," you clarified, but the sudden tremble in your tone was a dead giveaway.
"So if I kissed you right now, it wouldn't do anything? You'd feel nothing?" He asked as you nodded.
"Do your worst, I don't see you in any other light. You should be happy I've started considering you as a good fri—" before you could complete your sentence, Choso's hand was on the back of your neck as his lips crashed onto your own. His tongue was quick to slip past your teeth as it met yours in a frenzy. You, at first, tried pushing him away. However, the grip you had on his sweater only pulled him closer as your laptop nearly fell onto the floor if Choso hadn't moved it in time.
Desperately kissing one another as your noses bumped and saliva smeared, you breathed against one another. As both of you clung onto each other, the sound of Yuji's voice calling out for his big brother caused you to push him off of you as you wiped your lips. "I should go," you panted, gathering your things as Choso watched you.
"Wait—"
"It's getting late, my parents should be back," you said as you aimed for his front door, not bothering to look back.
"Fuck..." he breathed as he sunk into his seat, rubbing his face before Yuji called his name again.
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A week passed since the second kiss. It was almost as if there was an unspoken rule not to kiss nor touch as you spent your meet ups with a safe distance apart. You didn't bring anything up, of course not, and Choso was too conflicted to figure out what the hell he should do. He knew you were stubborn, and if he wanted something with you, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. There were still layers protecting you and if he tried anything, he was afraid you were going to resort back to square one and hate him again.
So, he let it be... as much as it was eating him alive knowing you definitely felt something for him as he did for you. It was probably why things were awkward, as much as both of you tried to avoid being such way.
Choso was seated at your desk as you were nestled on your bed. It had been a while since he was in your home and the only reason why he was there was due to an annual inspection at his apartment building. If it hadn't been happening, you two would've been social distancing on his couch instead.
"Finally," you breathed, tossing yourself back on your bed. "We finished."
Looking over at you, the way your shorts clung onto your thighs and how your sweater rode up to expose a piece of your belly, Choso sucked in a sharp breath. "Fuck it."
Sitting up on your forearms, your eyebrows furrowed, "wha—" Choso was suddenly on top of you. You let out a gasp as he practically pinned you on your bed. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, but the second you felt his lips on yours, they fluttered close. Your palms tried to push against him, but the sensation filling you—the nights of endless dreams of Choso—you couldn't help but succumb. Your hands slipped through his hair, tugging at the loose strands as your lips parted for him.
Kissing you deeply as his tongue glided across your own, tracing every inch of your mouth as you tugged on his hair, Choso felt you wrap one of your legs around his waist. Lowering himself on you before rolling you over to straddle him, you subconsciously began grinding your hips against his as your tongue reached for his again.
Just as you felt Choso's hands reach under your sweater, your door slammed open. Your heart was pounding faster than ever as the sounds of your father screaming echoed in your head. He came rushing in with rage in his eyes as he ripped you off of Choso. Your breathing somehow seemed louder than the yelling beside you as your vision began to blur. From one second to the next, you were shoved back behind your father as he grabbed Choso by the collar and yelled in his face.
The voice of your father and now your mother as she stood by the door in pure shock that turned into disgust, muffled as you tried reaching out for Choso as he was shoved towards the door. "Choso! Wait!" You called out but your father blocked you. "Stop— No! Choso!" Your blurred vision was forced to look back at your father as he  spat out his disappointment in you. Saying you will never see that boy again as long as you lived under his roof. How he blamed Choso for the person you were becoming and how you were forbidden to leave the house unless you told them exactly where you were going.
It was absolutely childish, you were an adult! But that wasn't what had you the most devastated, no, it was the fact that—yes, you had fallen for Choso and things were never going to be the same.
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"How long has it been?" Yuki asked as she sat before you at her dinner table.
"9 days," you sighed, rubbing your temples as you sunk into your seat. Yuki basically became your therapist as she knew just about everything that's been happening between you and Choso. As exhausting as it was, she was rooting for you two. She was hoping for the best but hearing how things just kept getting out of hand, she couldn't help but worry for you. "He's avoiding me now. He's blocked my number. Couldn't call nor text him." Groaning as you leaned your forehead into your palm, you shook your head.
"You need to tell him," she said but you shook your head again. "You've gotta find a way. He can't be avoiding you for no reason."
"If I tell him I'm sure he won't say he feels the same. He's doing this for my sake, I can tell... I just—" sucking in a deep breath, you frowned, "it shouldn't have ended up this way."
"Well, you can't control your heart from falling so deeply for someone, can you?"
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"Choco! You are smoking again!" Yuji stomped as he eyed his older brother who had just walked in from the balcony. "You promised you'd stop!"
"I know," Choso sighed as he rubbed his forehead.
"You broke your promise!" The little boy pouted. "It's not good for you! It makes you stinky and can kill you!"
"I know, Yuji—"
"I will stop eating candy if you stop smoking!" The pink haired boy pointed as Choso sighed.
"No, you won't—"
"And why haven't I see my best friend? It's been too long, Choco!" Yuji furrowed his eyebrows as he crossed his arms. Choso knew he meant you.
"I don't know..." the older man groaned, as if feeling a headache coming. He was used to his little brother's nonstop talking and pestering... but today, he wasn't having any of it.
"Liar! You are always talking to her! I miss her and you stopped having her over!"
"Enough!" Choso snapped as Yuji instantly flinched. His bottom lip pursed out as his eyes began to water. His tiny body trembled before he turned and ran to his room. "Dammit... I—" going after him and finding a lump under the sheets that was shaking, Choso frowned. "Yuji, I'm sorry." Seeing the giant stuffed tiger sticking out from under the sheets, Choso gently pulled the blanket back. "I didn't mean to snap on you... I just..." taking a seat on the bed as he eyed Yuji, Choso rubbed Yuji's back. "I can't see her anymore... which means you can't, either."
"But... I miss... her..." Yuji sniffled into the stuffed toy.
"Me too..." lying back on the bed as he looked at the ceiling, Choso felt Yuji shift beside him as Yuji sat up.
"Why can't we see her?" He asked.
"It's complicated..." Choso answered as he rubbed his face.
"Do you love her?" Yuji tilted his head as he held the stuffed tiger beside him.
Feeling his heart skip a beat, Choso rolled onto his side and eyed his little brother. "I do."
A gasp left the pink haired boy as he scooted closer. "Well, if you love her, you shouldn't give up," Yuji said as he gave Choso a hopeful smile. "You should go see her and tell her!"
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A heavy knock sounded on Yuki's door as you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at it. "Are you expecting someone?" You asked.
"No, but you are," she said as she leaned back in her seat, stretching her arms above her with a sigh.
"Huh?" You shook your head as your confused expression deepened.
"Go open the door," Yuki nudged her chin.
Unsure as to why you listened, you let out a huff before pushing back your seat and standing up. "I don't know what you have up your sleeve... it better not be my parents. They know I'm here, you'd think they'd believe me..." you mumbled to yourself as you opened the door, expecting two unwanted faces... instead, getting one you had been aching to see. "Choso?"
Seeing the way your eyes widened as he stood before you at Yuki's apartment door, drenched in rain water as a nightly shower had rolled in, Choso felt his heart race as he reached for your face and pulled you into a sudden kiss. His beating heart grew faster as he so desperately clung onto you, but your palms instantly pressed against his chest and shoved him back.
Seeing the look of shock now on his face, you clenched your teeth, "you— you think you can just come out of nowhere and—"
Pulling you back into this kiss as his hands tug onto your wrists, Choso silenced your complaints with his own words. "I love you," he breathed against your lips, kissing them repetitively. "I love you," kiss, "I love you," kiss, "I fucking love you," kiss. "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," he nearly whispered as he pressed his forehead against your own as you stood stunned before him. "I was scared. You deserve better than me. I believed you were too good for me. We are from such different worlds and you deserved someone like you. That's why I avoided you. But, fuck, I've never felt this miserable being away from you. You were all I could think about. Dream about. I missed you. I missed your smile and laugh. The smell of your perfume. Seeing you being your genuine self around me. I missed having you around and caring for Yuji. Fuck, why do we do this to ourselves?" Choso breathed. "You avoided me, I avoided you. We let everything that doesn't matter affect us but I don't give a damn about what anyone else says, I love you and I want you. I want to be with you. I—"
Reaching for the back of his head as you tilted your own, you kissed him, now being the one to silence him. "I love you, too," you confessed before wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. "I do... I was scared, too. Of everything. But you bring out the best in me, you make me happy, Choso... I want you just as bad."
"Finally!" Yuki groaned as she stood from her seat. "Having Choso's number was handy."
Looking over at her as you had nearly forgotten where you were, you blinked in confusion. "What?"
"Oh, nothing, just me being the greatest friend and telling Choso where you were and making sure you two finally get together. It was exhausting seeing how things were going all because of lack of communication and fear and how ridiculous your parents are. You're an adult, they can't stop you from who you love," she rolled her eyes with a wave of her hand. "Now go on and leave with Choso and have fun. You can thank me later," she shooed as you and Choso backed up before she closed the door on you.
"Uh..." you stared at the door before looking up at him, seeing him shrug.
"She had been texting me for a while. I was actually a bit confused but then I started seeing her on campus when you weren't around and we got along pretty well. So I figured she'd know your whereabouts, asked her where you were, and luckily you were with her. This would've been much harder if you were home, but I would've done it anyway," he explained as you smiled.
"This is the most I've ever heard you speak," you teased as he shook his head. It was then you remembered he was still soaking wet and you were still outside just barely covered from the rain. "Let's go back to your place before you get sick."
The second you arrived at his apartment—and learned Yuji was staying at Nanami's with this last minute decision to see you—Choso was quick to pull you back into a kiss. You had tried to stop him, telling him he should dry up, but Choso instead started undressing right before you in between kisses. His black tee that clung to his body was the first to go, revealing his toned chest that you so quickly went to touch, feeling his abs underneath your fingertips. Then, he went for his sweat pants, kicking them to a side before he went for your clothes. You couldn't quite process what was happening, your head was spinning from the kissing (and the fact that he was in nothing but his boxer briefs before you). Before you knew it, all that covered you was your underwear as Choso left delicate kisses down your neck and collarbone.
Now standing before his bed as he held your hands in his, Choso pressed his forehead against yours as the two of you stood in silence, listening not only to the rain trickle, but your shared breathing. "I'm not that bad of person, am I?
"No," you shook your head. "I was a fool. I'm sorry..."
"Doesn't matter anymore," he mumbled, "you love me and I love you. That's all I care about. What's in the past is in the past, I love everything about you, and I'm glad I got to peel away those layers," he smiled as you did, too. "May we?"
"Mhm," hummed, "yes... please."
Reaching behind to unclasp your bra before slowly removing it from your body, Choso then lifted you up and settled you on his bed, tugging down your underwear. Bare and exposed to him as your heart raced and chest heaved, you were just about ready to cover yourself, but Choso's lips beat you to it. He kissed along your chest and bare breasts, down your belly and to your thighs. He parted your knees and admired the way your bare pussy glistened for him.
Watching with hooded eyes as he licked his lips, you swallowed as you clung to his bed sheets. Your eyes followed the way his figure lowered to his knees, how he kissed closer and closer to your heat before leaving a sweet peck on your clit.
Reaching one hand up, Choso interlaced his fingers with yours before he licked a broad strip up your cunt, moaning at the taste of you as you shivered. He felt your free hand slide into his dark locks as you let out a shaky breath the moment his tongue teased your entrance, only to make its way back to your aching nub. Choso smiled at the way your hand tugged at his hair to push on his head, further burying his face against you. Swirling his tongue around your clit, he made his way towards your hole before teasing it once again.
"Choso, please, stop teasing..." you begged with a breathy tone.
"Anything for you, baby." Plunging his tongue in you as he fucked you slow, he pulled away to play with your clit before two of his finger pushed into you. The sounds you made had his grip tightening around your hand as his other thrusted his fingers in and out of you.
Your toes curled as you felt that burning desire within you ready to explode. "Ch— Choso, I'm gonna—" but before you could finish, he pulled his fingers out, replacing his tongue with his thumb on your clit. Feeling his tongue sink into once again, Choso was more than ready to lap up your juices as you came on his face with a shaky moan.
Taking in as much of you as he could, groaning in delight at the taste, Choso released your hand before he crawled over you and slid his tongue past your mouth to share your essence. He listened to you hum as your shaky hands reached for his briefs and tugged them down. Helping you as he removed the remaining piece of clothing on his body, he felt your hands caress the side of his thighs before reaching in between the two of you.
Gliding your tongue along his as you so sweetly wanted to swallow each other whole, your hands wanted to feel the weight of him on them. You gently began to rub at his length, already knowing it was going to a bit of a hassle to have him fill you just by the feel of his bare cock in your palm. You pumped him slowly, brushing your thumb over his slit as his breath hitched against your lips. "Fuck me, please," you quietly begged. "I want you, I love you."
Separating from the kiss as he gently peeled your hand away from him before he could come on your hand (which he was sure would happen in any second) he brought you deeper into the bed before he reached for his drawer. That is until you stopped him. "What is it?" He asked, heart dropping. Were you having second thoughts?
"I want you bare," you breathed. "Please..."
"Are— Are you sure?" He asked as you nodded. "I'll pull out."
"No," you shook your head, giving him a look as if saying it was okay.
Blushing, Choso nodded, "okay." Wrapping your legs around his waist as he aligned himself with you, Choso slowly sunk into your tightness as a hiss left him. You reached up and held onto his shoulders as he bottomed out, pausing for a moment as he rested his forehead against yours.
"It's okay," you breathed before giving him a small peck to the cheek.
Pulling back slowly, Choso began thrusting in and out of you at a steady pace. He littered your face with kisses as your eyes fluttered closed. Kissing down your neck and chest, he brought one hand up to fondle with one of your breasts. Giving the other some attention as he sucked at the skin and left red blotches in his wake, faint bites and kisses too, he brought your nipple into his mouth as he began to pick up his pace.
"Faster," you breathed as Choso did so. He thrusted deeply into you, giving your breasts equal attention. Kissing and licking, biting and marking, moaning at the feeling of you squeezing him. Your hands tugged on his hair, the sweetest sounds leaving your lips as he fucked into you in a way that made your heart flutter. He wasn't trying to break you nor fuck you into the next life. No, he was loving you in a physical way to prove just how deep his feelings ran for you. The languid movements of his hips, the kisses against your body, the way he brought his hands into yours as he whispered his love for you into your ear. You swore you could hear angels singing. The tears brimming in your eyes and staining your face as you felt this wave of pure ecstasy wash all over you.
You had never come like this before, almost in unison as you felt your mind, body, and soul becoming one with his. You must've been in heaven, up in the clouds. It was almost ethereal. He filled you so deeply before his body nearly gave out and collapsed on yours.
He needed a moment as he stayed in you. Catching his breath before pulling out and falling beside you. Tugging you to him as his lips lazily met yours in the loveliest, sloppiest kiss, Choso ran his fingers through your hair as he mumbled sweet nothings against your lips.
"I love you," you breathed, nuzzling your face against his chest before looking up at him. Caressing his hair then rubbing your thumb along his nose and cheeks, you gave him a sleepy smile. "You're so handsome..."
Giving you the same smile, Choso caressed your forehead, placing his hand on the back of your neck as he kissed you once more, "you're beautiful..." he muttered. "So pretty... I'm so damn lucky..."
"Me too..." Enjoying the silence shared between you as you felt yourself more than ready to fall asleep, you then forced yourself up as you remembered something. "Choso! Your hair is still soaking wet!"
Letting out a small laugh, he sat up and reached for your hands, tugging you out of the bed with him, "then let's share a shower and you can dry my hair."
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"Oh, I so won the bet against Gojo," Mei Mei said as she stood beside Utahime.
"Kinda predictable, but at least she's happy," Utahime said.
"And I helped!" Yuki beamed as the three of them watched you walk hand in hand with Choso across the courtyard of the campus. The biggest smile was on your face as Choso gazed down at you, almost as if it were a scene ripped from a rom-com.
"Ladies, now that Choso is taken, I'm available—"
"Save it, Mahito," Yuki raised a hand as the other two women beside her simply ignored the man. A laugh left Suguru as he was trailing beside Mahito, instantly gaining Yuji's attention. "But if Suguru is available..." teasing him with a wink, Suguru's eyes widened. "Men are so easy to toy with."
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ONE YEAR LATER.
It was almost impossible to keep your hands to yourself. You always found yourself twirling Choso's hair around your finger, giving his bicep a small squeeze, hugging his arm, placing your palm on his thigh... it was rare for you not to be right beside him. Choso didn't mind, he never did, he loved how your touches felt. He welcomed them, actually. When you weren't touching him, even in the slightest way, he felt off. As if something was missing.
You didn't seem to care where you were. If he wasn't around, you'd patiently wait to see him again, knowing very well it would be you jumping him into a hug or pulling him into a needy kiss. You weren't sure who you had become within the year you had been with Choso, but it was so freeing.
Especially being able to do it in front of your parents.
They were not happy when they found out you had been secretly dating him for months without telling them, but their reaction didn't phase you. Actually, you were in the midst of moving out. Choso had offered you to stay with him—and although you were a bit worried at first—you couldn't have been any happier with your decision. Away from the two most troublesome people in your life, now living with the person you most adored, and your tiny best friend, Yuji. Yuji was the most ecstatic when he learned the news of you moving in. Already planning out things to do with you like movie nights and games to play together as well as other little things that made the boy happy.
Overall, you were happier than ever. Freer than a bird. And seeing the look of disgust on your parents face at dinner did nothing to stop you.
You didn't know why you did it, maybe it was because they were your parents, and maybe since you were a good person, you still visited every now and then. However, it was almost always with Choso. And they couldn't do anything about it.
"Well, we have to go pick up Yuji," you said as you stood from the now cleared out dinner table.
Choso followed in your lead as he felt you slip your hand into his. He was already used to your parents at this point and didn't bat an eyelash to their judgmental looks. Though, they were... improving. Slowly. The glares and scowls weren't so bad anymore. Wasn't his fault their little princess of a daughter fell in love with a terror like him. He loved her more than anything in the universe and nothing would change that. "Good night and thank you for dinner."
Gathering your purse and cardigan from where they hung, Choso opened the front door for you as the two of you walked right out. These nights always ended this way, you never waited for a response or some sort of action. In reality, these gatherings never lasted more than an hour. There wasn't much to say or do besides eat...
Climbing into Choso's car as the two of you let out a laugh you had been holding in, you gave his cheek a kiss before he backed out of the driveway and made his way to Nanami's. "It's the way your mom looks so disturbed when you hold my hand."
"And how my father bites his tongue whenever I give you the smallest of kisses," you chuckled. "A year and you'd think they'd move on. That's what happens when you have one kid. They should've had more."
"It's alright, they'll find a way to accept it... Eventually. In a decade or so," he said as you sighed, reaching over to hold his hand while resting your head against the seat.
"Whatever, at least my grandparents like you. My grandmother is always asking for you when I do my weekly calls," you snickered as Choso smirked. "She doesn't get why my mother is the way she is. She blames my father. Oh well, at least we've got their support."
"And our friends," he added.
"Mhm," you smiled. "That's all I need."
Eventually arriving at Nanami's home, you were greeted by said blond man trailing behind an excited pink haired boy. Yuji always had a habit of rushing out the moment you arrived, practically glued to the window whenever Nanami announced you two were on your way.
Helping the little boy into his car seat, both you and Choso greeted and thanked Nanami before the man bowed his head and closed the door for Yuji. Said boy smiled at you as you turned to give his hair a little ruffle before poking his ribs gently. "How was Nanamin's?"
"Fun! He helped me with my homework and then we had dinner with his family and then we played uno!" He said as you grinned. "And you?"
"Not as fun as it is being around you," you pouted, earning a giggle from the little boy.
"Choco's not fun?" He asked, earning a sigh from his big brother.
"Of course he is, he makes it all the better. I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't there," you sighed as Yuji lifted his eyebrows, only to grin.
"Then I think I know what you have to do to make sure Choco is always there!" Yuji clapped his hands.
"What is it?" You curiously asked as Choso looked over.
"Get married!" He exclaimed.
Looking at one another, Choso shrugged, "he's not wrong."
Playfully rolling your eyes, you readjusted yourself on your seat as you went back to holding his hand. "Well, then I'll be waiting for you to propose."
an: so you've made it this far? thank you so much! i promise you it was worth it... how are feeling? it's dramatic, i know, but i love drama and angst as much as i love smut and fluff... reblogs are much appreciated! xo
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babyboibucky · 3 years ago
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The Match - Part 25 (Finale)
Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: You and Bucky move on with your lives.
Word Count: 3.5k
Warnings: No smut, I apologize lmfao
A/N: OHMYGOD WE MADE IT. WE’RE AT THE FINALE AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I FINISHED THIS LONG ASS SERIES! THIS FEELS LIKE RETIREMENT LMAO anyway I will make a separate post for my thoughts and feelings about finishing this. I just hope that y’all enjoy this one (it still feels mediocre for me) and I can’t wait to read what you guys think!!!!!!!!!!
The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST
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“How are you holding up?”
You groaned as you looked up from your laptop, “Not good.” you admitted before slamming it shut and then burying your face into your palms.
Tomorrow was your big pitch for a client and your presentation was already done from a week ago. However, your brain really decided to come up with a better idea just this morning and you can’t not go with that one. You just can’t.
“The creatives team was ready to send me to my grave when I asked them to revise all the materials.” you said.
“Even if they could, they can’t. You’re the Account Director and oh, my business partner too?” Kenzie said with a lilt in her voice.
After taking a break from work for a couple of months, you crossed paths with Kenzie. You were on your way to a job interview when you passed by her in the same building. Turned out that she was working on creating her own marketing agency. The two of you caught up on each other’s lives and by the end of the day, she had offered you to partner with her.
Investing in a business was no joke and you had to admit, you weren’t sure whether you were ready to do so. You still took the jump though and two and half years later here you were— owning a marketing agency alongside Kenzie.
Things did work out for you after all, career wise.
You always wondered whether the same thing happened to a certain someone.
“Hello? You still with me?” Kenzie snapped her manicured fingers right into your face.
You looked up at her, “Huh?”
She smirked, “I can see your mind flying elsewhere and as much as I want to pry, I don’t want to distract you or else you’re going to spend the night here in the office again.” she said.
You rolled your eyes, “That was one time, Kenzie!” you called out to her as she walked away, but not before turning around to remind you of tonight’s agenda.
“Dinner with Sam at 8pm. And I don’t want you working while we catch up, so finish your deck, babe.” she warned with a playful wink.
Shaking your head with amusement, you opened your laptop again and continued with your presentation. Unable to help yourself, you switched the tab to Google and started typing.
Bucky Barnes
Before you could even search him up, you had already changed your mind and closed the tab. It’s been years since Bucky left and since then, you promised yourself to focus on your career. You never searched him up, never added him on social media, nothing.
In those years that Bucky was away, you focused on bettering yourself. Not for him nor for anyone, but for you.
You were willing to wait for him, but you also didn’t stop yourself from entertaining others who showed interest in you. You chose to believe Winnifred when she said that when two people are meant together, it’ll happen eventually.
Whether you and Bucky were going to meet again, you gave it all up to fate.
-
“Look at the two of you!” Sam hollered as soon as you and Kenzie reached his table at the restaurant.
You hugged Sam and sat across from him with a huge smile on your face, “And look at you, dashing as ever!” You complimented.
“I mean, he was featured in GQ magazine. He’s a changed man.” Kenzie teased with a sly smile.
After Barnes Group of Companies was officially sold to Wilson Enterprises, Sam became the man of the hour. As soon as the news got out, he was the topic in the industry and yes, was given a special feature in GQ magazine. There were a lot of articles about Bucky too, with most of them on the negative side but you never really paid attention.
You only read a couple and none of which were actually true. One article assumed that Bucky was broke, that’s why he sold the company, another one said that he escaped from paying taxes. There were a lot of hearsays about him, you were actually glad he wasn’t around to deal with them.
“How’s the business going?” Sam asked.
“It’s amazing! I gotta thank her for it, she works really hard.” Kenzie said and turned to you.
“Shut up, Kenzie.” You said, rolling your eyes at her, “You’re the one bringing in clients, you work just as hard.” You told her.
Sam chuckled as he watched you two with amusement, “It’s really great seeing you two like this. I can still remember when there was a little competition going on.” He said.
You groaned, “Oh god, not that one.” You said.
Kenzie laughed, “Girl, that competition made you shine though.”
All throughout dinner, the three of you caught up on a lot of things— personal lives included but mostly about each other’s career. Sam mentioned that Beverly was now taking on a marketing role, something that she has been updating you about since you left the company. You couldn’t be even more proud of her.
In the middle of a conversation, Kenzie’s phone rang, “Ugh, it’s our fave client.” she sarcastically told you, “Probably going to follow up on the updated list of influencers, anyway, I gotta take this so excuse me.” she said and headed out of the restaurant.
“You look really happy.” Sam commented with a nod.
You laughed, “Actually, I really am.” you admitted, “I never thought I’d have my own agency yet here I am.” you said.
Sam smiled, “I’m really happy for you. I mean, I took it as a loss since I really wanted you to work for my company.” he chuckled.
“Are you pirating me?” you narrowed your eyes at him with a smirk.
Sam shrugged before taking a sip from his wine, “I’m just saying, I never closed my doors for you.” he said and wiggled his eyebrows at you.
“Well, Kenzie beat you to it. How were things when you formally bought the company?” you curiously asked.
You only saw articles about it, but never really knew what Sam had to deal with after Bucky sold him the company. Sam told you that he needed to think about it plenty of times when Bucky brought up the idea. It was such a huge step but somehow, it all worked pretty well— for him and Bucky.
“The only difficulty I encountered was dealing with George Barnes.” Sam said with a chortle, “That man’s urge to meddle is just…astounding.” he laughed.
You snorted, “Tell me about it. How’d you get him off your back?” you asked.
Sam leaned back against his seat, “Oh, Bucky set him straight. George barged into my office when I was about to sign the contract. I have never seen Bucky go off at someone like that, even George was stunned. Good for him though, I think that was when he realized that Bucky has become his own person.” he said.
“Speaking of Bucky, I heard he’s back in town.” Sam said with a knowing look in his eyes.
Just the mention of his name made your chest tighten, not in a bad way though. The fact that Bucky was back made your stomach do somersaults. Questions you never really thought of for the past years suddenly filled your mind.
How was he? What was he up to now?
Has he moved on?
Has he found someone new?
“I always thought there was something between you two, when I asked Bucky about it I wasn’t surprised when he confirmed it. How did you take it, his decision to leave?” Sam curiously asked.
Letting out a relaxed sigh, you merely shrugged, “I think we both needed some time apart, you know? He needed to work on himself, I think I needed time to sort my priorities too. It was a messy time back then.” you chuckled softly.
Sam nodded, “And what about now? What are your priorities?” he asked.
“I have my own company now, I worked my ass off for the past few years and will probably continue doing so. I guess my priorities didn’t change that much.” you said with a laugh.
Sam smiled, “From someone who has the same priorities, let me tell you a piece of advice. It’s okay to take a break. You don’t have anything to worry about, you’ve proven enough.”
You returned his smile, “Thanks, Sam. We would have made a powerful couple, honestly.” you joked.
“You know what? I agree. Maybe swipe right on me when you download Tinder again.” he smirked.
“Oh my god, you knew about that too?!”
-
Trailing behind Kenzie, you went through your mental checklist for today’s presentation. The deck was ready, you knew your script for the pitch like the back of your hand, you yourself was ready too. As you and Kenzie walked through the hallway leading to the client’s office, you started feeling your pockets for your phone.
“Fucking hell.” you cussed out.
Kenzie turned around and looked at you worriedly, “Anything wrong?” she asked.
“I left my phone in the car.” you huffed out and searched your bag again before feeling for your pockets the second time around.
“Can you go ahead and tell the client I’ll be back?” you asked.
Kenzie nodded and took your laptop bag, “Yeah, sure. We have around five minutes anyway, just be quick.” she said.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Be back in a jiffy.” you said and rushed back to the elevator, pressing the basement button.
You pressed on the close button multiple times in an attempt to speed up the doors from closing. However, someone felt the need to catch up and slotted a foot in between the doors, delaying you even further. A muffled curse slipped past your lips as you watched the elevator doors open once more.
The person who slipped in though, was someone you hadn’t expected to see.
“Bucky?”
It was as if the time stopped when he looked up at you, his blue eyes brighter than ever. It brought you back to the time you shared the elevator with him for the first time. He still had the same aura— confident and somewhat authoritative— he still wore the same damn perfume too, the one that made your knees weak because it made him smell like a manly man.
Unlike in the past, he was no longer clad in the usual suit and tie ensemble. Instead, he was simply sporting a dark blue long-sleeved top. His hair was shorter, cleaner, but he still had a stubble that almost gave you whiplash from the sudden influx of flashbacks.
If there was anything that changed in the way he looked it was that he appeared lighter— happier.
“Hi.” he said, blinking at you as the doors closed.
Suddenly, you found it hard to breathe with him standing beside you. You had a lot of things to say and ask, at least that’s what you thought whenever you imagined seeing him again. Now that he was here though, it’s like you had forgotten how to speak.
“How have you been?” he spoke first.
You cleared your throat, “Um, good. You?” you said and you wanted to slap yourself for being so fucking awkward like it was your first time meeting him.
“You look good by the way.” you added, unable to stop yourself.
Bucky chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck, “Thanks. Uh, I’m great. You look amazing too.” he said.
Silence followed after the small talk and even the elevator music didn’t help. What was it with fucking elevators and Bucky?! And why do they always seem to slow down whenever the two of you are together?
Both of you cleared your throats in unison, stealing glances from each other a couple of times before you decided to just go for it and start another conversation.
“Do you work here?”
“You work in this building?”
You both answered at the same time, earning a soft laughter from each other. Bucky shook his head in amusement and responded the same time as you did.
“No, I have a meeting with a client here.”
“Yeah, we just moved offices.”
Another round of laughter echoed in the elevator. You tucked your hair behind your ear, “I’m sorry, you can go ahead and talk.” you said, feeling your neck turn warm the longer you looked at Bucky.
Bucky nodded, “Our new office is here, I just brought up some of our stuff.” he said, “Where do you work now?” he asked.
“Kenzie and I started our own marketing agency. Well, she did and then she asked me whether I was interested to join her so…yeah. New company?” you asked.
The way Bucky looked at you when you told him about your agency made your heart beat twice as fast. The fondness in those eyes, how his lips tugged into a genuine smile, you just realized how much you missed them.
“I’m proud of you.” he simply said, biting his bottom lip, “I mean you and Kenzie are quite the tandem.” he said.
Laughing, you acknowledged his statement, “Who would have thought, right?” you asked before smiling at him.
“Thank you, Bucky.” you softly said.
“And yeah, new company. My friend and I started a motorcycle business, a dealership.” he explained.
You smiled, “You never left the industry, huh?” you asked.
Bucky chuckled, “Yeah, well as much as I hated taking over the family business, I learned to love the industry.” he said.
You were about to congratulate him when the elevator stopped at the basement floor, “Were you headed to a different floor?” you asked when you noticed the look on Bucky’s face, like he made a mistake.
“Yeah, I kinda forgot to press the button. Got distracted.” he admitted with a familiar look in his eyes that left you flustered. “Guess I’ll just walk you to your car?” he asked.
“I’m just going back to get my phone, I left it and…but yeah, you can walk me there.” you stammered.
The two of you walked side by side in silence for a few seconds before Bucky spoke up again, “So you have a client meeting.” he stated.
You nodded, “Yeah, in fact, I am running late. I just had to forget my phone.” you awkwardly explained upon reaching your car.
The walk back to the elevators was just as awkward, with you or Bucky starting small talk that really didn’t get anywhere. You could feel that he too had a lot of things to say, but really, how do you even start?
While waiting for the elevator to reach the basement, you kept your gaze on the monitor displaying the floor numbers. Bucky was standing slightly behind you and yet you could feel his gaze on you. As soon as the elevators opened, you wasted no time to step inside but didn’t miss the subtle brush of Bucky’s hand on the small of your back as he ushered you in.
“What floor are you headed to?” you asked after pressing the button to your destination.
“Don’t worry, I got it.” he said, leaning towards the buttons and pressing on the tenth floor.
The waft of Bucky’s perfume invaded your nostrils and just like that, you were left intoxicated yet again. Suddenly, the atmosphere between the two of you changed; it’s like as soon as the small talk was done, the tension from the past came back.
Wanting to be able to talk to him properly, you gathered your courage and decided to be the first one to make the move.
“Are you down for dinner tonight?” you asked, clenching your fists at your sides.
Bucky looked at you, a bit surprised at your boldness before his face fell. “I can’t, I’m seeing someone tonight.” he said softly.
Oh.
Oh okay.
You didn’t expect him to say that, it almost made you dizzy. Your throat turned dry all of a sudden and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. What were you expecting anyway? Two and half years was a long time, a lot of things could happen like, meet someone else? You managed to own an agency during those two years, even went on several dates so it was highly possible for Bucky to find genuine happiness in someone else.
Maybe you were meant to build him for somebody else. Looking away from Bucky, you started apologizing.
“Oh. Of course, I’m sorry I just—”
“My therapist.” Bucky hurriedly cut you off.
You blinked at him, “Your…therapist?” you asked.
Bucky looked embarrassed as he laughed, “Yeah, I really can’t ditch her.” he explained.
Okay, you did a lot of overthinking with that one but the relief that washed over your entire body was very comforting. You felt stupid for jumping to conclusions and ended up mentally slapping yourself. You didn’t even feel ashamed of the loud sigh of relief you let out.
“Whew, okay. Therapist.” you laughed, “Yeah, don’t ditch her. That’s…huh, therapist. Just a therapist. Good. I mean, it’s great. That…um, yeah. I get it.” you started rambling and almost facepalmed when you noticed the amusement in Bucky’s eyes.
“Yeah, my therapist. She’s old. Married even, with grandchildren.” Bucky reassured, humoring you.
“I’m free tomorrow night though.” Bucky suggested immediately, stuffing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans.
This time, it was you who made a face. “I’m meeting someone tomorrow, sorry.” you said, “Just a client though, old too. I’m guessing he has grandchildren as well.” you said and laughed along with Bucky.
“Um, Thursday night?” you asked.
“I have dinner with mom and Steve on Thursday.” he said.
You couldn’t stop your lips from stretching into a huge smile, “Winnifred and Steve?” you asked.
Bucky instantly understood you and he nodded, “Yeah, it took a while but uhh I…I got to fix some stuff. I promised you, didn’t I?” he said, turning serious this time.
Your breath hitched in your throat; suddenly, you were nervous but the good kind, like things were finally working out. You had the same feeling when you shared the elevator with him after matching on Tinder, like you already knew that something significant was going to happen in your life.
It felt like that, like something was about to start again.
Something good.
“I’m happy for you.” you commented.
“Can I confess something?” Bucky asked out of the blue but didn’t wait for you to answer before continuing.
“I know about the agency. Sam told me as soon as I got back. I was going to call you this weekend but I guess we’re meant to see each other earlier than I had planned.” he said.
You held in your breath as you debated on something, but you ended up admitting something as well, “I know about your business too, I googled you. Just last night.”
No matter how much you held back from searching up Bucky, you couldn’t. Especially not after Sam told you that he was back. You discovered that he has been traveling a lot, connecting with potential brands for his new business. He has been in and out of New York for quite a while now and to be frank, you wondered why he never contacted you.
But then again, you never attempted to do the same thing too. You assumed that perhaps it meant that there was truly a right time for everything.
Timing could be a bitch most of the time and the universe has its way of messing things up. Now though, it’s almost as if timing and the universe teamed up to make everything right.
Bucky opened his mouth to say something when the elevator dinged at the same time your phone started ringing. As you fumbled with your phone, Bucky seemed conflicted about stepping out on the floor he was headed to.
So many things left unsaid, so little time.
“Hey, Kenzie. I’m on my way up.” you said as soon as you answered the call while Bucky was still debating about stepping out.
“So um, Friday night?” Bucky asked hopefully as he finally walked out, leaving you inside.
“Shit, wait, I need to check my calendar first.” you said and struggled when the doors almost closed, thank goodness for your reflexes because you managed to hold down the open button while pulling up your calendar app.
Bucky looked at you with a certain glint in his eyes, “We can always reschedule if you’re not free.”
“Oh!” you exclaimed, “I’m meeting with a friend on Friday afternoon but I’m free at night.” you told him urgently.
“I’m free at night, we can go out Friday night.” you quickly repeated as your phone went off again, ringing in the background as you and Bucky laughed.
“It’s a match!” he blurted out, looking flustered at the implication of his statement.
“I mean, we’re a match…our schedules are a match. We’re both free on Friday night is what I meant.” he explained, his cheeks turning into a subtle shade of pink.
Amidst the chaos that was happening— the elevator doors beginning to close, your phone buzzing with Kenzie’s name flashing on the screen, the client meeting waiting to start and everything else in between— your heart and mind were both at peace.
Before the doors could completely close, you and Bucky locked gazes. Finally, fucking finally, everything fell into place.
“It’s a match alright.”
FIN.
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afterhourswjay · 3 years ago
Note
Jay honey, can I please request a Hawks x reader when he tries to kiss them but they keep swerving ?
(I had this vision in my head and it was too funny lmfao)
Take your time obviously and stay hydrated :))
<33
Hello, Liv!! I'm more than happy to write for you anytime, feel free to drop as many asks as you want into my inbox!! Omg, this is actually pretty similar to something I thought of earlier a few weeks ago, I love it. And, how did you know I struggle with hydration? Did you send a little robot friend to keep an eye on me?? /lh Anywho, right back atcha. :)) Also also, I couldn't tell if you meant a kiss on the lips or just... kisses in general, but I decided to go with lip kisses being swerved. Feel free to yeet another ask at me if that's not what you meant ^^
If this takes me a rediculous amount of time between when you asked it and when I posted it, just assume I'm spending a lot of time playing on my switch :))
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Hawks || Keigo Takami x Reader
- hawks is a very affectionate guy, so when you constantly swerve around him to try to avoid his kisses, he's both parts confused and annoyed in an affectionate way - sometimes he'd try to give you a kiss, and you'd lean in like you're gonna kiss him, but you either lean past him to grab something, or you'd kiss his cheek instead - i see you two basically playing a game of keep away but with hugs (him) and kisses (you) - it's all in good fun, tho, nothing malicious going on here - literally just a competition to see who can hold out longer, but usually ends with one of you chasing the other for affection xD - who caves first depends on the day. if hawks was having a relatively rough day, he'll wrap you up in a hug, arms squishing around your shoulders (y'know, that way that dads tend to when y'all are in a goofy mood) like, he'll end up squashing your face into his chest and he'll give you a kiss on your forehead and then you usually hug him back and give him a kiss - if it's you who is having a difficult day, then usually you walk in and just... shadow hawks while he works. because you usually you are really talkative and expressive
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bbugyu · 4 years ago
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how jeonghan knew
a journey with yoon jeonghan, lee seokmin, and you.
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there was always something about his infectious laugh and his genuine nature that felt like fate to jeonghan, and maybe you were the muse that kept their red thread in tact.
prelude | part one | part two | part three | epilogue
wc.10662 (LMFAO) | fluff, smut, courtship, angsty in the beginning, polyamory, sugar daddy!jeonghan musician!seokmin escort!reader, hi cheol, hi gyu (again), hi boo, hi wonu, gay pining, jk he's pan probably, discovering sexuality, daddy kink, special guest seokmin!!!!!, threesome, lots of mlm, oral, cumpla, handjobs, choking, butt plugs, male penetration, there's a full on reader-less memberxmember sex scene idk, unprotected sex, please use condoms, jeonghan gets overwhelmed, the TEASING, jeonghan being a home improvement freak, don’t mind han jisung he’s just vibing, required listening is positions (2020) by ariana grande because it’s a perfect album
and here we have poly seokhan: the gayening!!! this is going to be the end of my scheduled updates for neverending artistry, but i’ll be posting an epilogue when i finish it - probably after i post a couple of other fics. this chapter.... is my fave......... i think u will see why lol. i went ahead and got a lil carried away with the house stuff but LISTENNNN i watch a lot of architecture videos ok LFJDSJ
thank you all so much for your continued support and incredible feedback on this series! it seriously means so much to me and i love seeing asks and messages from everyone telling me how excited they are to read more. i hope this satisfies you!!!
~
jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his friend date woman after woman in college with varying seriousness. he decidedly ignored any amount of feelings he harbored for the younger, especially after he dropped architecture as his major and he saw less of him. 
jeonghan tried to get over the destined musician (he would always be singing or fiddling with his guitar when he was meant to be helping jeonghan with a diorama) with several women, and after decisively focusing on his career for a couple years, he found success in another man. his short lived gym buddy, but lasted quite a bit longer as his boyfriend. they had connected first when jeonghan had offhandedly commented that he liked the logo on his shirt, to which the long lashed, broad shouldered man had said he had gotten it at the brand's store down the street, making jeonghan chew his cheek before he admitted that he had helped design that location. they connected the second time later that night, clumsily but intensely, and jeonghan liked his plush pouty lips and how his messy black hair felt between his fingers.
while that didn't last forever, he found varied success in other men, and he figured this was why dating women had always been so difficult for him. definitely not that he had been given small choice amongst the rotten apples that attended his college.
he was single again, and at an industry party when he reconnected with an old friend from college who happily reminisced about the fun their small group of friends had back then. he asked if jeonghan remembered seokmin, the guy that dropped the program.
"lee seokmin?" he asked, his brows knitting as he tried to react normally to the name, and mingyu hit his shoulder, laughing.
"yeah! guess what? that son of a bitch is teaching my niece piano!"
jeonghan smiled at the idea of seokmin as a piano teacher, nodding along as mingyu talked about how he had volunteered to take her to her lesson one week, only to be put face to face with a long lost friend. jeonghan laughed as mingyu imitated the face the other had made, laughing harder when he recognized it and remembered seeing it on seokmin's face in the past, then telling mingyu about how he had once pranked him by making the poor guy think that he was going to fail a project because seokmin had accidentally destroyed a diorama. it had already been graded, and he was going to take it apart to save on materials anyways, but the younger nearly cried when he thought he had wasted hours of jeonghan's time and cost him the grade by accidentally kicking it off his desk.
he asked how seokmin was doing these days, and mingyu told him he seemed well, and that he takes his niece to her lessons as often as he can spare, just to chat for a while. "i could give you his number," he said, feeling his pockets for his phone. "i'm sure he'd love to hear from you."
mingyu had been right. seokmin did love hearing from him. and he loved the way seokmin made him laugh with his ever joking tone and physical comedy antics. the way his eyebrows creased as he tried to keep a stern face but was unable to hide the smile across his lips. the way he always fought with him for the check despite jeonghan being older and notably better off.
he didn't love, however, how seokmin nodded his head after the waitress and asked him if he thought he had a shot.
maybe he was desperate, or maybe he wanted an excuse to not date seriously, or maybe he just wasn't ready to let go, but jeonghan continued to invite seokmin out, despite the fact that their relationship would never develop past friends who met in college. he enjoyed his company anyways, even if it felt bittersweet.
he poured himself into his work for several months, taking more contracts than usual and keeping himself occupied, only really seeing others for meetings and constructions, or when he was depressed on a friday night and caved, asking seokmin to join him for drinks somewhere. he continued this cycle for too long, his personal assistant noticing his mood changes before most.
"are you taking your vitamins?"
"yes, seungkwan, i'm taking my vitamins," jeonghan bit back, fully aware that he wasn't asking about vitamins at all, but about his state. confirming he was still making an effort to take care of himself rather than spiraling, sat in his living room on a tuesday after being told by a doctor to rest, for god's sake as a solution to him nearly collapsing several hours earlier. seungkwan shifted on his feet, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at the architect, hands folded in front of him.
"you need to stop seeing him. it only hurts you."
jeonghan sighed, staring at the black screen of his television. "i know."
his assistant studied him. "you should come out with the team sometime," he said. "we get drinks on wednesdays, usually. come tomorrow, it could take your mind off things."
jeonghan looked up at seungkwan, who was clearly sucking on his cheek. he knew he was right. more importantly, seungkwan knew he knew, but jeonghan had a hard time wanting to take his mind off this one specific thing, considering the way this one specific thing laughed like a hyena, poured himself over a piano like an ocean wave, and sang along like an angel. his head fell back on the couch, and he had to take a long, conscious breath to lower the ringing in his ears at the silence. "i'll be there next time."
seungkwan exhaled in defeat, eyes flickering around as he excused himself and said goodnight, knowing his boss was lying.
jeonghan found you on accident - put in an uncomfortable corner by an ultimatum from his publicist and the circulating rumor that he sleeps with men because he can't keep a woman around that seemed to pile on top of everything else on his plate - and the second you opened your mouth, he knew you were special.
he remembered the profile he had seen from your broker, and knew you were attending university. he asked you your major, and when you told him you wanted to produce music for a living, something deep in him stirred. you had been sitting in his car for all of twenty minutes, and you nearly had him under your spell already.
he couldn't understand his fascination with you, but he continued to book you for dates, sometimes deciding what event he would be attending by asking what day you were available that week. he figured if he needed to prove to the world that he wasn't gay (which he was, he was pretty sure), you were the only one he was interested in doing it with.
maybe he had a thing for musicians.
he had taken out quite a few escorts before you, but none of them were nearly as fun. you always did an incredible job engaging in whatever event he brought you to, but also hit his chest as you tried to stifle a laugh at something he muttered into your ear, guiding you away. his friends liked you, too, the few he had. the ones that had met you. yongsun had even tugged him aside briefly, asking if he really liked you. you seemed nice, she had said. and good, in general, but also for him. she wanted to make sure he wasn't just leading you along to quiet some stupid rumor. he glanced at you, smiling wide as you excitedly discussed music with one of his other friends (the fifth and last person he liked at this event, the two of you included), and wasn't quite sure why he told her he actually liked you, but didn't feel the need to correct himself.
then you told him you were quitting, and he realized what he would be losing. then you kissed him, and he realized what he had been feeling. then you looked at him with wide eyes, just as shocked as he was by the explosion of fireworks you had both just experienced, and he realized what he had been missing out on all this time.
he figured he must have always loved you as his eyes scanned the hotel bar, confused at how you had managed to get away so quickly. he was running into the hall to see if you had escaped to the lobby when someone caught his arm.
"hey, you seen yongsun?"
jeonghan blinked at his blonde friend, recognizing her play. "have you seen y/n?"
"try the bathroom," she said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder in the direction she had come from.
he looked down the hall at the restroom signs, nodding. "i saw her at the chocolate fountain a minute ago."
byulyi patted his shoulder as she walked past him. "good luck, yoon."
it felt good telling you the truth, while sitting in your well organized and tastefully decorated studio apartment that you had insisted he would hate, even if he was too scared to admit all of it. why he had needed you before, but wanted you now. his heart nearly beat out of his chest when you agreed to his conditions, though he recognized that he had given you just about every advantage in the deal. it would have been near impossible for you to say no, especially after the way you had kissed him before someone had finally tried to enter the bathroom you were hiding in.
for a while, he only kissed you as a farewell, mostly because he enjoyed the old school romanticism of kissing a beautiful woman in the moonlight, her back against the passenger door of his black vehicle parked on the street outside her studio apartment. then, when he had invited you to his home after the two of you had ditched a boring dinner several hours early, you had curled up in his side to watch a movie. at some point, he caught you staring at him, and you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him sweetly. slowly. kissed him in a way that only made him crave more. you smiled, settling back into his side for the rest of the movie, and even though you had done it unconsciously, the back of your hand rested against his thigh in a way he had a hard time ignoring, and he decided he must have just had real shit taste in women before he had met you. 
the following sunday, when you mentioned how pitch black the sky seemed at that late hour, having gotten caught up binging some drama, he not-so-vaguely hinted that he'd be okay with you spending the night in his bed. you eyed him, and he shrugged playfully.
"or i have guest rooms. up to you."
"i have class tomorrow," you tested.
"i can take you," he responded. "if you want."
you paused, watching him as he recorked the wine bottle the two of you had opened earlier in the evening but only managed to have one glass of each before abandoning it to cuddle on the couch. he was always so thoughtful, even in his teasing. he cared about your comfort. he wanted to maintain your boundaries. but it had been a really long time since you had gotten laid, and everything in you yearned to say yes. jeonghan's voice in your head reminded you, no expectations. this could be whatever you wanted out of it.
so you went to bed with him.
jeonghan would swear up and down that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, and his beliefs were only confirmed when he pulled your shirt off of you, dragging your pants down your legs, and got a real look at you for the first time. you felt unexplainably embarrassed under his gaze, asking if he was okay.
"yeah," he said breathlessly, a hand running up your side, your back arching slightly to his touch. he curled over you before he whispered "god, yeah, i'm more than okay," against your lips.
not even ten minutes had passed before you told him you loved him between your panting, and he was so ecstatic when he could tell you, wholly and truthfully, that he loved you, too. and after your pulses had died down and you were falling asleep in his arms, he said that if you were staying under his roof, you were not allowed in any guest rooms. that if you needed space, he would find a different bed to sleep in, because this one looked best with you in it, and he refused to have it any other way.
jeonghan never got bored with you. over time, you began going to his place after events and dinners more than he dropped you off at your apartment, becoming an often enough occurrence that he had asked you one night to fill an online shopping cart with clothes for you to keep in his closet, so you could stop this silly packing bags nonsense. he had already bought you a full set of toiletries for his bathroom, started keeping your favorite snacks in the pantry, and even gone as far as to buy you the house slippers you had offhandedly said were cute when the two of you wandered aimlessly around a mall together. you were becoming a part of his home in more ways than one, and he was happy to have you.
he offered you an unused office on the second floor when you started studying for finals on the peninsula of his kitchen counter one monday afternoon, and you asked what was wrong with you doing it where you were.
"because you're not going to clean it up," he pointed out.
"maybe if we had a rewards system," you argued. "if i clean up, i get a prize."
he laughed, rounding the small jut of countertop, thinking about how he would probably need a proper kitchen island if you were going to be sticking around. "just because i give you an allowance, doesn't mean you're a child. you're not supposed to focus on the baby part of sugar baby."
you pouted as you turned on the stool to face him, a hand gently tugging his tie to pull him into you. "what if i focus on the daddy part of sugar daddy?"
a hunger dropped in jeonghan, gazing down at you as you sat at his kitchen counter, surrounded by textbooks and notes. your eyes sparkled under the lights, and his fingers went behind your neck before he kissed you, muttering against your lips to try calling him that again, angel.
the kitchen remodel had gone about as smoothly as it could have, given the fact that it was nearly impossible to transport such a large slab of granite for his dream island without it snapping in half from its own weight, but they managed, and when the light fixture finally turned on for the first time after the new cabinet doors had been installed, he felt justified in remodeling a kitchen that had hardly needed updating. he felt even more justified when he came downstairs to find you, having woken up in an empty bed, only to have you yell at him as you flipped pancakes on the griddle of his new gas range, saying you were going to bring him breakfast in bed and if he didn't cooperate, he wouldn't see you for a week. he laughed at your threatening spatula, putting his hands up in surrender, unable to stop smiling as he made his way back up the stairs.
you had enrolled in online courses for your last year of school, mostly so you didn't have to be anywhere specific for several hours every day, and instead could keep your schedule massively open to cater to jeonghan's needs. this also meant you usually attended your afternoon lectures at his home, waiting for him to get off work and distract you.
then the two of you started attended wednesday drinks with the team. seungkwan had thanked you, though you hadn't realized that you were deserving of a thanks.
"he'll tell you when he wants to, i guess," he said, twirling the beer in his hand. "but he wasn't in a great place before he met you."
you could hear the subject of your exchange laughing further down the bar, and you wondered what kind of place he meant, but tapped your glass against seungkwan's instead of asking the question. "to better places."
he chuckled, bringing the beer to his lips. "cheers to that."
jeonghan enjoyed having you on his lap on the couch, listening to whatever r&b record you had chosen as you worked your lips against his. he nudged several kisses down your neck, and you mentioned offhandedly that there was a perfect place in his living room for a bar, pointing at the wall behind him. he pulled away from you, turning his body with an arm over the back of the sofa, and his head cocked as he stared at the wall that only held a painting. he silently agreed with you, wondering why you seemed to inspire all his recent projects as you nipped at his neck, drawing his attention back to you with a smile on his face.
the bar was finished in time to hire a bartender for a halloween party. he hadn't told the guests that it was an anniversary party, but you had been made aware of the secret arrangement during a conversation the two of you had over a private meal in your favorite restaurant the week before. 
"a threesome," you asked, hoping for clarification. 
"with a guy, preferably," jeonghan said. "but i could be convinced to approve of a girl if that's what you would like."
"you're being serious?" you seemed to find yourself asking him that a lot. every time he suggested something that he knew you wanted, you wondered if he was pulling your leg. "and you want me to choose?"
"yeah, at the party," he said, watching you shake your head incredulously with a smile on his face. the two of you had discussed the possibility in the past, and he thought it made a fun gift. an unexpected one, from someone who had enough money to comfortably gift you just about anything. "i have to approve, obviously, but you get to pick the candidates."
you thought a moment. "what if we can't agree on anyone?"
"then i take you to bed alone and we have fun anyways." 
he laughed when you squinted at him.
"if the opportunity comes up down the line, we can try again later," he said. "but i thought this would give you something fun to do while i'm hosting guests."
and it had, as you sneakily scoped out the guests, flitting around the party of both familiar and unfamiliar faces in your angelic cheerleading costume. visiting and laughing heartily with the team, as well as your uni friends that jeonghan insisted you invite, offering them more drinks, then saying something about having to play hostess so you could continue your search. byulyi and yongsun were there, and you complimented their matching rapunzel and flynn get up, jeonghan catching you for just a second to ask if you needed anything.
you settled in on one target perhaps too quickly, without even really having made an effort to see all the options. you had been struck by the same sharp cheekbones, puppy dog eyes, and crooked smile that jeonghan had once fallen for. when he saw you tucked into lee seokmin's side, recognizing your flirting even from a distance and noticing how receptive the musician was to it, his heart fluttered, and he couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing.
a good thing, he decided, when seokmin had asked him permission before he came in you. because, seemingly, sexuality was much more of a spectrum than jeonghan had once thought, and perhaps his college crush just needed the encouragement of an incredible woman to try something a little beyond his experience, much like he had.
and when you wouldn't stop mentioning the musician the two of you had enjoyed the company of while schmoozing guests at the opening of him and his friend's collaborative art exhibit, he got a slick idea. on the way home, he told you that you weren't allowed to make a noise until he hung up the phone, but you were already writhing in the passenger seat just as the phone rang.
and when he answered, you clamped a hand over your mouth, a bare foot landing on the dashboard as you tried to grind against jeonghan's hand, his voice steady as he talked to the younger.
and when he mentioned you, your walls pulsed around his fingers, a smile finding its way into his lips as he spoke. he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way you looked at him with begging eyes and your fist between your teeth, or in the way seokmin's tone dropped as he confirmed that he would get a cab, but he truly couldn't help himself when he made eye contact with seokmin as you sucked him off, his hips canting into yours recklessly, forcing seokmin to break the contact as he reacted to your moan on his cock. 
he noticed the way seokmin's hips began to move on their own, begging for enough control to chase his nearing high in your mouth but having it brought right to his doorstep instead. jeonghan felt your perfect heat cling to him in reaction, and before he could think to stop himself, he pulled you into his chest by your throat, not daring to let you claim it all as he lapped cum from your mouth. you whimpered against him, your orgasm lasting impossibly long as he fucked into you, getting milked by your needy walls.
when he caught seokmin staring directly at him, he grinned and wiped the back of his hand across his chin and lower lip, languidly licking any escaped cum off it, and asked if he wanted to try his, too.
seokmin agreed, nodding shakily before jeonghan massaged at your sides, pumping himself into you a few more times. he told you to give seokmin's mouth a ride. you groaned, his cum dripping down your thighs.
jeonghan watched the younger's cock twitch as you moaned over him, one hand on the wall and the other on his scalp, his fingers digging into your thighs. he stared at how it never lost hardness. he didn't even realize that his hands were on seokmin's hip and thigh before he even asked if he could touch him, but a large hand left your thigh to shakily bring jeonghan's to his thick cock, answering the question despite you occupying his mouth, his fingers lingering over jeonghan's as he pumped his length.
he couldn't deny that how badly he wanted to fuck seokmin, but he could settle for making him cum in his hands until he was ready for something more, especially with the surprising amount he had to give after already having cum once. he let himself indulge in a single lick across seokmin's sensitive slit - though it was hard to stop there - triggering a garbled moan before he left to shower.
a week or so later, jeonghan asked you if you were interested in dating seokmin. you put your phone down and rolled over in bed, propped up on your elbows as you asked him what he meant.
"i love you," jeonghan assured, pulling you to lay closer to him. "and i can tell you like him."
you studied his face. "but i'm with you."
"that doesn't have to stop," he said, smiling at you as he tucked a hand behind his head. you eyed his arm briefly, then refocused on him. "but you know how things get in the winter, and i would be okay with you trying things out with him while i'm busy."
"you're being serious?"
jeonghan laughed at the familiar question. "yes, y/n, i'm being serious. i know you want me, but i also know you want more than me."
you had never told anyone about your desire for multiple partners, not even admitted it out loud to yourself, so his candid assessment caught you off guard. "how did you-"
"just little things you've said," he teased, leaving you to question how much you had revealed about yourself without realizing. "besides, no one can deny the chemistry."
you paused. "boundaries?"
"just tell me," he said, putting his arms around you and tugging you into him. "i just want to know when you're seeing him. and, eventually, i would like to be invited every once in a while."
"invited to dates?" you asked, throwing a leg over his lap to straddle it as you laid over him. "or invited to bed?"
he smiled up at you, hands running over your rear. "either. both. whatever you two want."
you agreed, but only after you made him promise he would tell you if anything changed for him. that he had to tell you about every doubt and worry he had. "i'll always choose you," you stated plainly, lips brushing against his as he gently rolled his growing length up against your clothed heat. "no matter what, i'll choose you."
"i know, sweetheart," he said, a hand on your cheek as he kissed you. "i promise."
after he came back from a business trip in december, you admitted to him that you and seokmin had exchanged i love yous, and he just put an arm over your shoulder and turned down the volume on the tv, telling you that he was pretty sure he loved seokmin, too.
"it was him, wasn't it?" you asked, studying his profile. "he was the guy you couldn't get over?"
jeonghan rubbed his face with one hand, sighing. "yeah, it was him."
"why didn't you say anything?"
he thought a moment. "i didn't want you to feel obligated, i guess."
your fingers straightened the seams of his long sleeved shirt across his shoulder. "obligated to win him over for you?"
"obligated to love him, too."
"jokes on you," you giggled. "he's very easy to fall in love with."
jeonghan supposed that was true, thinking of how quickly he had fallen for him, even back before he had admitted he liked men. how he had fallen into the same spot even years later, just over a shared meal and a few bottles of soju.
but you were easy to fall in love with too, he thought, remembering how he hadn't even understood his feelings towards you until you had kissed him, but he had felt them strong enough to want you to stay by his side anyways. maybe jeonghan just fell easily, but maybe he was lucky enough to have found his people at such a young age.
you settled back into the crook of his arm and asked him what he thought about seokmin coming over to join you two for christmas. while much of the world celebrated with family, it was more of a hallmark holiday in korea, often times spent with a long time sweetheart or a budding romance. or both, in your case, jeonghan supposed, when you were distracted trying to find the third christmas music lp you had specifically gotten for the occasion (out of eight, of course, because you didn't want to run out of christmas music). he was leaning against the tasteful home bar that had been hardly touched since halloween when seokmin shyly admitted that he knew jeonghan was interested in him.
he said nothing for a moment. "she told you?"
"kind of, back when you were in japan, but-" seokmin paused. "i think she was just suspicious, but i should have known. you were always too kind to me."
"not too kind," jeonghan said, hiding behind his wine as he sipped at it, trying not to show his embarrassment.
"i think i'm interested, too."
he looked at seokmin, who was staring down at his hands. "are you sure?"
"i'm-" he paused, catching jeonghan's eyes for only a second before scratching the back of his neck. "i think so. i've never even thought about doing anything with - uh - men. until you."
"that's okay," jeonghan said, looking to where you were flipping through records. "i didn't like women until y/n."
seokmin faltered. "wait, really?"
he nodded, a small smile on his face. "i thought i was gay. turns out i'm not."
"but you-" the musician stretched his jaw. "weren't you kind of a player in college?"
he almost said something about how having sex to meet an end and keep an appearance was different than enjoying it, but stopped himself when you announced that you had found the lost record, switching the lps with a flourish and setting the player again. and while he was curious about the level of seokmin's interest in him, he was happy to leave the conversation where it stood when you excitedly rejoined them at the bar.
"do you think i could be a bartender?" you asked, leaning over the counter and grabbing an unused shaker.
"probably," seokmin said.
"for sure no," jeonghan laughed.
you pouted at the latter, holding the shaker between your hands as you directed your attention to the former. "thank you, seokmin. i appreciate you encouraging my dreams."
"any time," he joked.
jeonghan rolled his eyes. "what about that music degree i'm paying for?" he asked, taking another sip.
"just because you've known what you wanted to do forever, doesn't mean everyone does. maybe i'll change my mind." you tried to spin the shaker in your hand, but the force you used was too little and it stopped on your palm too quickly, clumsily clattering to the counter. you stilled it, exhaling sharply when jeonghan giggled beside you, looking to seokmin. "he might be right."
"it's almost like i know you," jeonghan teased, nudging you. "she was convinced she could become my personal bartender for all of two weeks."
"i tried," you whined. seokmin laughed. "the tricks are harder than they look."
"and you hated shaking drinks."
you put the shaker back, defeated. "the ice made it cold."
"isn't that the point?" seokmin asked.
jeonghan smiled at you. "you're lucky i like wine."
"i'm gonna talk to you now," you announced, turning your body to seokmin. "because you're nicer to me than he is."
"aw," the architect chuckled, and seokmin watched you react to a squeeze at your butt. "did he make you soft? can't take my teasing anymore?"
you ignored him, trying to ask the man in front of you about his lessons, but you yelped when his hand firmly landed on your ass, grabbing seokmin's arm in reaction. he looked at you, seemingly just as shocked, and you tried to continue the conversation, but jeonghan's hand didn't leave, and your entire body was reacting to the way it was slowly hiking up your skirt and running between your thighs.
your eyes fell shut, and you muttered for him to cut it out as your grip on seokmin's arm tightened, but jeonghan just made eye contact with the other male, asking him instead if he should.
without thinking, seokmin shook his head and put his hands on your jaw, pulling you in to kiss him. your moan against his lips was involuntary, and jeonghan grinned as his fingers ran over your core, making you whine.
"did you tell him?" you gasped out, asking seokmin with hooded eyes. he shook his head, saying that he hadn't told him everything.
"told me what?" jeonghan asked, interest piqued as he put down his glass, pulling his hand out from your skirt and placing them on your hips instead, squeezing gently as he stood behind you, and your head fell back into his shoulder without much intention as you licked your lips. "seokmin?"
he pulled his gaze, trained on your mouth, to look at jeonghan, and he felt his breath stop in his throat as he fully processed the sight in front of him. you gasped again, as jeonghan's hand came up to knead at your breast, and you tried to pull seokmin closer, but he didn't stop moving even when he was pressed against you.
jeonghan thought he might faint. he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but when seokmin's hand found the back of his neck and pulled him over your shoulder, his mind went blank. when his lips found his, his vision went white. when he felt his tongue against the inside of his teeth, he couldn't help but moan, one hand gripping your waist and the other aimlessly tugging on seokmin's shirt, seemingly just to hold something that belonged to him.
"fuck, okay," jeonghan breathed, staring after the musicians lips even when they left. you giggled, recognizing the feeling. "okay," he repeated. "got it. understood."
you spun around, hands on jeonghan's chest. "we prepared something for you," you said, and seokmin's cheeks and ears were bright red when he sheepishly nodded with you.
jeonghan looked between the two of you, swallowing suddenly. "what?"
you tugged on his hand, then grabbed seokmin's, too, when he didn't move right away, leading them both to walk around the couch. you pulled jeonghan onto the cushions with you, kissing him briefly before he realized someone was between his knees. when he saw him, that was when jeonghan's dick woke up, suddenly realizing what was happening.
"be nice," you muttered against the shell of his ear, your hand running down his torso. "it's his first time."
seokmin's hands were strong but gentle, and despite never having touched a dick that wasn't attached to him, he knew what felt good. he needed a bit of guidance from you to begin, less from lack of knowing the process and more because he was nervous, but quickly found a comfortable rhythm. jeonghan sighed when he finally got pulled out of his pants, and you were sucking a mark into his neck, his arm wrapped around you and his hand kneading at your rear. his eyes could hardly stay open when seokmin ran his flattened tongue up the underside of his cock.
"isn't he pretty?" you asked, whispering, a smile on your lips. 
he groaned, threading his fingers behind seokmin's ear, desperately trying to hold back his release because he hasn't even put you in his mouth, yet, jeonghan, for god's sake, keep it together. the younger's eyes flickered up to his, and he nearly came just from the feeling of his soft lips around his member, sinking slowly.
"fuck, you're too good at this," jeonghan said, the half chuckle on his lips falling quickly when seokmin's tongue ran over a vein, the warmth of his mouth feeling like heaven. his teeth bit down on his lower lip, watching your hand run through seokmin's hair. he hummed at the contact, his grip tightening slightly, sending a jolt through jeonghan's system. "fuck, i'm gonna cum already."
"there were lessons," you giggled, your hands wrapping casually around his neck. his breathing hitched, eyes falling shut, focusing on the mouth sheathing his cock as he recognized your fidgeting fingers over his pulse. "merry christmas, daddy."
he inhaled sharply right before you squeezed at his throat, and he thought that he should maybe let you lead more often if it was going to feel this good. seokmin seemed surprised by the feeling of jeonghan cumming in his mouth, but he did his best to pump every drop from him, swallowing thickly. you only smiled when jeonghan sat up, leaving you behind as he pulled seokmin's face to his, his hands running up jeonghan's thighs as he kissed him.
jeonghan decided the sunroom extension was all wrong, and that he'd have to redo it.
"you just built that," wonwoo said, having been the contractor that oversaw the construction. "besides, it's snowy season, we can't do outdoor construction. you'll have to wait til spring."
"not outdoor," jeonghan said, rolling out the drafting papers he had drawn up over the course of his new year break, the final pieces being completed in the wee hours of that morning. he had sent wonwoo a text as soon as he thought he would be awake, asking for a meeting despite it only being two days after the new year. "the shell can stay the same, we just need to build indoors. besides, i need this done in february."
wonwoo blinked at him. "when in february?"
"it has to be fully furnished by the 18th."
the contractor laughed at the deadline, only a month and a half out, as he looked over jeonghan's drafts. it would be a tight schedule, considering the structural changes he wanted, but he recognized his long time work partner's determination and knew there was little he could do to argue. "okay. let's get to work."
he turned down a contract for a café to make time for the new home project, but not before recommending they contact a kim mingyu, giving him the vaguest thank you for introducing seokmin back into his life. he didn't have time to draw several attempted variations of every café he had ever designed, he was too busy mapping out the logistics of adding a lofted space to the two story sunroom. too busy planning to tear out the outer wall of your office and picking the right sliding glass doors that would lead to the loft. you had to ask him several days in a row before he finally told you what he had planned.
"a music room?"
he tried to gauge your reaction. "is it crazy?"
you broke out into a smile, studying his design, gripping the mug that held your latté that morning. "absolutely, but i love it."
he asked you to help him pick instruments, saying his wishlist included a white grand piano and three to five guitars that could be displayed together. he also told you to pick out your dream computer setup for production - you were graduating that year, afterall, and it was about time you started using something other than your laptop and a midi controller to make music - and you almost started crying from how fucking excited that made you.
hiding the plans from seokmin was the hardest part, especially when he started spending weekends at the house. he saw the construction area often, and one friday afternoon, he had even asked if he could help, leaving you to usher him away and assure him that jeonghan didn't like help when it came to these things. he believed the white lie, allowing you to distract him with the option of watching shit television in bed, even convincing him that tonight was the night to surprise his new boyfriend. seokmin laid in bed with his arms wrapped around you, trying not to move too much, fully aware that even the slightest movements in his body caused his dick to come to life, until the last of the workers left and jeonghan appeared, asking if there were dinner requests before he went to take a shower.
seokmin had been training with you for over a week. you had bought him some toys, even helped him try them out in the comfort of his loft, and he got increasingly excited - generally, but also in those moments - to show jeonghan what he had learned. the surprise he had been keeping had already made him beg you to cockwarm him as he waited, but you refused on account of knowing him, and by extension, knowing that he would not being able to stop himself. he had a bit more confidence, though it may have only been fueled by horniness, when he pulled the vaguely sweaty architect toward him on the bed. he tried to say something about how he should really wash up, but seokmin just kissed him, hands gripping around his skull in desperation, his dick already hard against jeonghan's pelvis.
jeonghan's hands wandered, as they usually did, and when he reached down to palm at seokmin's ass, he reacted in a way that earned him a questioning glance.
"we - ah-" his eyes shut, jeonghan's hands getting closer to his surprise. "she's been helping me-"
and that was when he felt it. the small, hard handle of a plug, situated between seokmin's perky asscheeks, easy to feel through the loose fabric of his shorts, and jeonghan felt his arousal tenting his pants just from the concept.
jeonghan hadn't even noticed your movement off the bed until a bottle of lube hit his leg, looking down at it briefly before looking to you.
"i'm gonna go clean up," you said, running a hand through your hair as you retreated to the bathroom, leaving jeonghan with an already flustered seokmin. 
before long, he had him on his back, naked, and finally got to see how sweet his little ass looked when jeonghan pushed his knees towards his chest. when he saw the black knob fitting tightly into his hole, he groaned, his own bare cock flinching in need. he put a hand on seokmin's dick, gripping it lightly, then put a thumb against the plug.
"nngh- fuck," seokmin stammered, fingers gripping at the bedsheets as his neck stretched out against the pillows, bucking into the hand wrapped around him. "j-jeonghan…"
"this is cute," he said, slowly moving his thumb in a circular motion, the plug's movement making seokmin let out choked moans. "but i really need to play with you now."
seokmin nodded, hurriedly, brows knit together. "please."
he hooked his fingers under the knob of the plug, slowly pulling it out and relishing in the reaction. the younger's back arched in a way that jeonghan wished he could see from every angle, knowing that the way his shoulders and back looked must have been incredible, but satisfied by just watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes clamped shut, his fingers gripping at jeonghan's hand where it stayed on his dick.
he began to pump the dick in his palm, setting aside the plug and grabbing the lube, popping it open with just his left hand and quickly squirting a healthy amount onto the tip of seokmin's penis, making quick work of spreading it completely over the engorged member, the slickness making him moan even louder and reach out for jeonghan's shoulders.
he let seokmin tug him over him, kissing him briefly before looking down at where the younger's thighs spread over his, wanting nothing more than to just fuck him already.
jeonghan's hand left seokmin's cock, leaving him whining against his lips, but it was short lived as his lubed fingers slid down to his puckered hole.
"seokmin," he muttered, studying his face. "you're sure, right?"
"fuck, i've been wanting this for since christmas, jeonghan," he sputtered out, eyes barely able to focus when there were fingers teasing his entrance. "yes, please, i'm sure."
jeonghan slid a digit into the tight hole, watching seokmin's face as his brows creased and his head fell back, a moan tumbling from his lips. another finger, jeonghan decided, and the reaction was similar, making him smirk.
"god, you're ready, aren't you?"
"please," he begged. "i want you."
jeonghan sat back, and the musician got on his elbows to watch as he readied his cock with lube, putting more on his finger and spreading it around seokmin's hole. he whined when jeonghan placed the head of his dick at his entrance, tugging him over him again.
"i'll go slow, okay?" jeonghan assured him. "tell me if i need to stop."
seokmin just nodded, eyes trained on his, and they locked lips as jeonghan pushed his hips forward slowly, the man under him immediately moaning and huffing against his mouth.
jeonghan really liked sex with seokmin. he also really liked sex with you. but he was pretty sure he liked it the most when you were both present.
seokmin didn't walk right for a day and a half, and while he was slightly embarrassed, you told him it was a badge of honor he should wear proudly. afterall, he had done the same to you on halloween. 
"how's your butt?" you asked when he came down the stairs, the sunday morning after they had done the deed without you, making him choke out a laugh as you got his tea out of a cabinet in jeonghan's kitchen.
"better than yesterday," he said, gingerly seating himself at a stool. "but not as good as friday."
you eyed him. "before or during?"
seokmin thought a second. "both."
"good morning," jeonghan said, quickly planting kisses on the man and then you, cheek and lips respectively based on the convenience as he walked past you, making his way to the espresso machine. "i think i'm gonna work on the sunroom today."
"today?" you asked. "wonwoo's gonna say no."
"wonwoo isn't getting invited. i still have to find furniture," he said, rinsing out the espresso shot glass and wiping down the portafilter. "we're getting close to deadline, i need boo to order the upholstery job on tuesday and i have a meeting tomorrow."
"when's deadline?" seokmin asked, wondering why he had one for a home project.
jeonghan blinked at the wall, not even turning towards the younger. "don't worry your pretty head about it."
you pouted, closing the short distance and wrapping your arms around him, your chin on his shoulder. "it's sunday. can't we cuddled puddle?"
"you mean like we do every night?" jeonghan asked, but grinding espresso beans so you couldn't answer the rhetorical question, packing down the grounds. "if you want to cuddle puddle, don't get out of bed so early."
you huffed as you dropped your arms, leaving him to prep a glass for his americano. "whatever. seokmin and i will have fun without you."
"what kind of fun?"
you stick your tongue out at him, using a teasing voice when you said "wouldn't you like to know."
innocent fun, was the truth, but you thought it was a victimless bluff. you spent the morning sitting on the couch with seokmin while a record played, discussing everything from your favorite movies to your weirdest dreams. you had to get up every six songs or so to flip or change the record, but seokmin liked that every time you rejoined him on the couch, you got closer to his side until you were eventually snuggling into his side, arms wrapped around his torso.
the innocence stopped when jeonghan emerged from his study, joining the two of you for a break. he planted himself on the other side of seokmin, under his arm, letting his hand not-so-subtly run over his thigh. you noticed the contact, peeking around to jeonghan.
"what kind of break are you looking for, hannie?"
he adjusted. "an inspiring one."
you giggled, recognizing the euphemism he used whenever he was stuck on something for work as you leaned back again. "that means he's horny."
seokmin sputtered out a laugh, jeonghan chuckling at your direct observation. "it's hard to not think about you two sitting out here, having fun without me."
"you may not believe it," seokmin said. "but i don't think sex was even on the table for us two today."
jeonghan's eyes met his, and he swallowed harshly. "can it be on the table for all three of us?"
the comfort of returning to bed was hard to deny, especially when they had you laid out against seokmin's chest as he was pressed against the headboard, his mouth attached to your neck and his fingers twisting a nipple, all while jeonghan was digging his digits further into you with his tongue flicking against your clit. 
seokmin grunted, rutting his hips against your back. "fuck, he looks good there."
you gasped, nodding, biting at your lip as he kneaded your breast, your fingers digging into jeonghan's hair. "you both do."
jeonghan never struggled to pull you apart, his deft fingers and teasing lips making you squirm and moan until you were shaking, mouth hanging open as your vision blurred and he told you you tasted like candy.
"minnie," jeonghan prompted, making the younger sit up with you whining against him to clean your taste off his fingers. his dick throbbed in need, watching the singer's agile tongue against him, wishing it wasn't just on his fingers.
seokmin had to practically beg jeonghan to fuck him again, but his only hesitation was that he may not have recovered yet. seokmin  was on his back and gripped at jeonghan's thighs, urging him forward as your hand twisted around his thick, throbbing cock.
jeonghan swallowed, pausing despite being covered in lube and in position. "you're sure?"
"yes," seokmin said, gasping at your hand on him. "jeonghan, i appreciate you asking, but i'm always sure when it comes to you."
you weren't sure you had ever seen jeonghan blush like that in bed, and you smiled against seokmin's neck as he groaned, his cock firming in your grasp as the older pushed into him. you admired seokmin's silent scream, his head lolling to one side at the feeling.
"angel," jeonghan sighed, settling into the way seokmin squeezed around him. "what do you wanna do?"
you teased a thumb over seokmin's slit. "i wanna ride."
"f-fuuck-" seokmin panted, his hips resting against jeonghan's spread thighs as his knees hung to either side. "i'm not- nngh- gonna last."
"you don't have to," you said matter of factly, adjusting to straddle his torso. jeonghan winced, watching your form as he pumped into seokmin. "we're done when daddy says so."
you put your hand, palm up, over your shoulder, and jeonghan chuckled at the recognized motion for him to spit on your fingers - usually, so that you could slick his dick to sit back on it. you worked jeonghan's spit over seokmin's engorged cock, then slowly lowered yourself onto him.
seokmin stared up at you, eyes fluttering and mouth open, suddenly not only feeling impossibly full, but also absolutely stuffed into you. he moaned out loud when jeonghan bumped into his spot, overwhelmed by the simultaneous pleasure. you fell forward onto his chest, holding yourself up with shaky arms as your face hovered over his, both of you trying to hold off your own demises.
then, jeonghan pushed himself deep into seokmin, who whined, his dick pushing up against your cervix. you nearly collapsed, whimpering as your forehead fell to his, gasping into a desperate kiss. jeonghan groaned, his hand running over your hip as he looked at the intersection of you all, staring at the way you barely contained all of seokmin before he leaned forward and kissed your spine.
"you two will kill me," he said, one hand holding you firmly at your waist while the other gripped seokmin's thigh as he picked up his pace. you both moaned, fingernails digging into the plushest part of your thigh when seokmin questioned how much longer he could hold out at jeonghan's unrelenting pace.
a long, high pitched whine fell from his lips. "fuck, i need to cum," he rushed out, bleary eyes barely opening as he looked at you.
"hang on, baby," jeonghan said. "ladies first."
you babbled against seokmin's lips, somehow never being able to get used to the way he filled you, though jeonghan pushing him into you didn't help. you could do nothing but repeat curses in increasing pitch, pushing your face into seokmin's neck as your walls clamped down around him. his mouth gaped, desperately trying to not succumb to your plush insides before he got the okay.
jeonghan smiled at how seokmin tried to focus on him, despite his hands gripping you as you shook against him. "go ahead, baby."
so seokmin went. and god, he went, coating you internally, immediately squeezing out around his stuffed cock and onto his lap, making jeonghan pant as he kept his hips moving, chasing his own end. he leaned forward, chest pressing against your back as he fucked into seokmin, not stopping until his eyes were clamped shut and he was painting his walls white.
there was a long period of time where none of you moved, then another after you had all managed to untangle from each other. jeonghan sat back, leaning against a hand and scratching his brow as he breathed heavily.
"bathtub cuddle puddle?"
you laughed, chest heaving as you looked over to him, but it was seokmin who spoke. "that sounds nice."
he started to get suspicious when his birthday got closer.
jeonghan told you to suggest a dinner outing for that night to divert attention, but he had caught you moving one of the guitars for the music room only a few days before his birthday, and he looked at you with squinted eyes when he asked if it was for him and you hurriedly said no, hiding the guitar behind your back despite him clearly being able to see it. 
"i panicked," you told jeonghan, eyes wide. "he saw it in me. he could tell it wasn't just the guitar."
"it'll be fine, y/n," he said, pushing around potted plants until they satisfied him. "he has to think it's weird that we haven't let him see this room yet, anyways."
you chewed your cheek, looking around the almost completed sunroom. the tall windows showed the light snowflakes falling from the sky, not quite thick enough to leave a layer but enough to make the enclosed yard look slightly pastel. despite the open space that looked out into the cold seoul winter, it stayed cozy, heat radiating from the floorboards and the faux fur rugs laid across them. the space near the entrance had a raised floor with a grand piano, along with several guitars hanging upon the wall, while the area partially covered by the balcony had two heavily cushioned, dark heather gray couches and a bright armchair, adorned with pillows and cable knit blankets.
jeonghan had a slight obsessive nature when it came to his home projects. he was meticulous with contracts, too, but he truly wanted this house to be perfect - not just for him, but for the people he loved. so you watched him rearrange pillows about four more times before you ran up the stairs to the loft to see if he had changed anything there since you had looked the day before.
it almost felt as though it was outdoors, with plants hanging off the edge of the railing and the rustic desk he had originally picked for your office placed to one side. you imagined doing schoolwork here, fantasizing slightly about watching seokmin play piano from your vantage point as you wrote essays. you slid open the glass doors to peek into your new office.
he had painted the walls white, taking a hint from the styling in your own apartment when he picked out a neutral toned couch and light wood shelving, your early graduation present of a computer set up spread across an L shaped desk. he had even paid to have your upright piano moved here, and cut into the next room over to give you more space for an electric drumset. you couldn't help but smile, imagining your friends coming over to record stuff with you. you had always felt strange about inviting them to your rich boyfriend's house, despite him insisting they were welcome, but he had really gone through the trouble of making a room so perfect for all of them that you had no choice.
and it was brighter, you thought. you had told him you worked better in bright spaces.
despite jeonghan's promises, the music room renovation felt like it was as much a gift for you as it was for seokmin. though, maybe he couldn't help it, when the reasons he loved you both overlapped so much.
you went to seokmin's apartment the next day with a bagged gift for him, arriving again right as his client was leaving, and you smiled at the same young man you had seen the first time you had come to visit seokmin. you knew his name now, not because you had spoken to him much, but because you had been told about him by his teacher, and you congratulated him on getting a gig the upcoming weekend.
"oh," jisung said, glancing between the two of you. "he talks about me?"
you laughed and gave him a fighting, seokmin looking upwards to hide his embarrassment as he ushered his student toward the door. "have a nice week, jisung! i'll try to be there this weekend," he said, throwing you a look as you giggled. 
"it's not for guitar, you don't have to come," the younger assured. "but if you want to, bring your girlfriend!"
"yeah!" you said, putting your fists on your hips. "i'm getting you dinner for your birthday tonight, the least you can do is take me to an underground rap show!"
"okay, both of you, no more talking," seokmin said, trying and failing to prevent jisung from stopping in his tracks at the news that it was his birthday.
"woah, teach, happy birthday!" he laughed. "you weren't gonna say anything?" he kept talking even as his teacher pushed him out of his apartment.
you couldn't stop grinning when the door closed, seokmin turning to you. he pointed at you, trying to hide his smile as he could only get out a vaguely annoyed "you."
"happy birthday, baby," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. he softened against you, smiling as you pulled away, his hands on your waist as he thanked you quietly.
"he asks about you a lot," seokmin said, joining you when you laughed at the fact. "i think he has a crush on you."
you rolled your eyes. "stop bragging about me, then."
"i don't brag," he said, smiling into another kiss. "i just tell the truth. i can't help that you're a dream come true."
you only pulled away from him to grab the two thick paper bags that you had set on his couch. "c'mon, we gotta head out. open your presents."
seokmin's mouth dropped open when he saw the logo on the bag. "wait, you didn't."
"i had to," you said, giggling as he grabbed one and tugged it open, moving to the couch to pull the garment out. "you said you wanted it."
"where did you find one?" he asked, staring at the corduroy parka from the brand you saw him wear constantly. "they've been sold out for weeks!"
"i got it before then, duh." you poked his cheek when he pouted at you, his eyebrows knit. "there's more, stop getting distracted."
seokmin hugged you extra tight as a thank you for his romantic crown haul, and he decisively pulled on the golden yellow shirt with the pizza on the back, making you grin at how perfectly jeonghan had predicted his thought process before you dragged him out of his apartment to go get dinner.
"we're just picking it up," you said, jangling a keychain. he gave you a quirked eyebrow, and you giggled, pulling him over to jeonghan's car. "do you wanna see it self drive?"
you pushed the side door closed with your butt and called out to jeonghan, saying the birthday boy was here. seokmin took the pizza boxes from your arms and put them on the kitchen counter as jeonghan walked around the stairs.
"well one of us has to change," jeonghan said facetiously, and seokmin looked down at the yellow shirt peeking through his half zipped parka, looking back up at jeonghan, who was wearing the same shirt.
"wait wait wait," you giggled, turning around to undo the zipper of your own jacket, pulling it open as you spun around to reveal that you, too, were wearing the shirt.
seokmin looked between you two with wide eyes, his eyebrows creasing. "you got us matching shirts?"
"pizza shirt gang!" you giggled, stripping off your jacket. "do you like them?"
he smiled into a disbelieving laugh. "how did you know i would put it on?"
"because we know you, minnie," jeonghan said, reaching for his hand after he took off his new coat. "before we eat, i finished the sunroom today, wanna see it?"
"hang on," seokmin stopped, making his hand fall from jeonghan's. "that's not the gift, right?" he looked at you. "the sunroom isn't the gift?"
you pursed your lips, looking at the ceiling, and seokmin started to argue, making jeonghan laughed. "who cares if it's for you, i just want you to come look at it."
jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his lover cover his face with his hands, sinking to crouch on the floor as his eyes looked around the large room that was lit by fairy light. the first thing he had seen was the piano, which made him gasp, then he saw the guitars, and looked at your smiling face, suddenly connecting dots, unable to stay standing from the shock as he understood why he hadn't been allowed to help.
and then he started crying.
the two of you ushered him to a couch, sitting him down as he sniffed back the tears. you sat beside him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and cooing, jeonghan crouching on the floor in front of him.
"i'm sorry," jeonghan said, smiling slightly as he gave him an apologetic look. "i didn't mean to overwhelm you."
seokmin choked on a laugh, wiping at his cheeks. "how did you think i'd react?"
"i don't think he thought about it," you whispered, knowing full well jeonghan could hear you.
"i got a little carried away," he admitted, hand rubbing comforting circles on seokmin's leg. "you're special to me, so i wanted to make something special for you."
"this," seokmin said, looking around, gesturing at his surroundings. "this?"
the older huffed out a laugh, almost embarrassed. "yeah, this."
seokmin laughed too, eyes wet as he looked into the other's. "i can't believe you would make something this incredible for me."
"you're incredible," jeonghan said. "i want you to feel welcome in my home."
"i couldn't believe the record wall, either," you offered when seokmin seemed speechless, pressing your cheek against the his shoulder, hand rubbing his back. "jeonghan's love language is a little unique."
seokmin sniffed one more time, studying jeonghan's face, his brow creasing ever so slightly. "holy shit, i'm in love with you."
your heart stopped as you pulled away slightly to look at him, then jeonghan, who was frozen.
"i didn't realize that's what this was," seokmin said, hand gripping the one on his thigh. "i knew i liked you, but this is-"
jeonghan rose quickly, seating himself at seokmin's other side and kissed him. "i love you," he said, thumbs wiping over his slightly damp cheekbones. "it's taken me years to admit it, but i love you."
seokmin kissed him again in response, his face feeling hot from the continued attention. he broke away, only to look around the room again, jeonghan studying his face with a smile as he did.
"i think," seokmin said, clearing his throat when the words came out weak. he looked to you, then to jeonghan. "i think this is the best birthday i've ever had."
jeonghan laughed. "we haven't even had the pizza yet."
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segatoys · 3 years ago
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Can u show more of ur OCS 👉🏼👈🏼 🥺 I love altalune btw
THANK U FOR THE KIND COMMENT!! an altalune doodle for you..
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so i post about elios and altalune a lot.. and rei to some extent but id love to tell u (and whomever else this may concern) about my other characters!!!! (under the cut cause i wanna include pics.. long post incoming. thnak u anon for my life) ill also link to their toyhouse pages in case u wanna see more ^__^ <333
so i must talk about my meow meows.. my lovely trio of marie, alexandre, and jeanne!! (in that order)..
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marie and jeanne are human, but alexandre is the child of a human and a high deity!! jeanne has a lot of connections to the deities (elios and especially altalune) through some weird events from her childhood. marie is not associated as much but learns a lot about that whole world from these two.
jeanne is a character i wanna expand a lot more specifically. because of a traumatic event that involved elios and alta, shes kind of obsessive over these things. Especially things (objects) she considers blessed, or cursed. in this world deities are like.. accepted as truth, but moreso as like. urban legends? things that are not interactable with the average human society, so its really hard for jeanne to seek help for what happened. she knows what happened; but she isnt really listened to. I posted about this some days/weeks (?) ago, but jeanne is schizophrenic. she has delusions seperate from what happened but still has to navigate going through healing from something people dont believe you about thru the context of ur Brain. she also has a really close bond with CIMYK, someone else who was inadvertently traumatized by some deity drama.
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CIMYK was an attempt at a man-made deity; specifically one meant to represent light, human progress, and technology. abandoned, elios and alta investigate. CIMYK is based off of elios, so out of some weird curse/fate nonsense she attacks a (technically not even alive) CIMYK. their arm gets torn off. the higher gods pity them, so theyre granted like. some deity-like status and protection. they kind of roam the earth and other worlds alone but enjoy their time alone; but still enjoy the company the aforemtioned trio provide. SPEAKING OF THAT TRIO I WANNA TALK ABOUT ALEXANDRE AND THEN I WILL LEAVE U TO IT ANON..
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ALEXANDRE MY SWEET PEA<3 so like. his god mom is VERY much high on the hierarchy for lack of a better word so basically he was supposed to follow in her footsteps. he ends up falling in love with the human world and what it has to offer, so with his moms' support he also does his fair amount of solo traveling to expand his horizons! hes also quite close with CIMYK, very much a "hyperactive dog and loner cat" dynamic; they both respect what they bring out in each other. He meets marie and jeanne on one of their own adventures and they all hit it off... theyre kind of a chaotic trio but we love fthat for them. alexandre.. hes an embodiment of all the positives i see in the world. he loves art and fashion and cooking and music and just all the things that brought humanity together as the centuries went by. he also helps marie out in her fashion design endeavors and models for her.
SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG LMFAO but anon it touched my heart (if u are reading this far...!) that u wanted to know more about my characters!! all the ones ive described here were ones ive had roamin around in my brain since i was a wee babe. but im only getting around to like, actually developing them now. also.. be on the lookout for my elios intro comic which should be done soon...
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gohyuck · 5 years ago
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5+9+23 ? With Jaemin.
originally requested by @heyyyun ! my tumblr kept glitching so i copy/pasted your ask into my askbox lol.
based on this post
this was a fun combo of requests lol... and the freaky friday things definitely threw me for a loop. it got lowkey nsfw really fast, too, so there’s that. outright female reader
ft. a horny jeno lmfao
5) roommates
9) freaky friday
23) i thought you hated me but i just accidentally sent you a booty text and you accepted and i am seriously considering it
you aren’t living with jaemin because you want to.
it’s something you make very clear to any and everyone you know - jaemin is your roommate out of your necessity, not out of your choice. he was the first and only person to answer the desperate ad you’d placed in the newspaper when you’d realized you wouldn’t make rent without a roommate, and, before you could find any other option, you were stuck with him.
now, you refuse to be gotten wrong: it isn’t like he’s the worst roommate ever. he can cook, and he cleans up well enough, and he’s never made a late payment. hell, he’s even courteous and about as well-mannered as any guy in his early twenties can get, so you can’t really complain on that front. he’s nice to your friends and always lets you know before having company over, and he doesn’t hesitate to ask if you need anything before he goes shopping for himself. he isn’t a bad guy, by any means.
what he is is an incorrigible and unstoppable flirt.
for his part, he isn’t too thrilled with you either - ‘my little prude’ seems to be his favorite go to nickname for you as of late, and you’d be lying if it didn’t bother you. still, you suppose, you aren’t too gentle in calling him a manwhore to his face. he only ever laughs, seemingly delighted to wear the title like a badge.
even now, you can hear the girl in your living room giggling at something your roommate has said, his own voice just a little too low for you to hear from the confines of your bedroom. he’d texted you during lunch to tell you he’d have a date over, and you’d sent him back four successive eyeroll emojis. he’d taken your annoyance as a ‘yes, please eyefuck your newest fling for two hours while sitting on the couch i paid for’ and now you’re stuck, crosslegged on your bed with your laptop at half mast and one earphone in, other ear listening to jaemin turn his charisma up to the highest it can go for what will culminate in, at most, yet another one night stand that’ll have you wishing for soundproof walls.
you sigh as she laughs again, followed by jaemin saying something along the lines of ‘let me pour you some more’. there’s a faint clink of glasses and a sudden lowering of their voices, and you decide it’s best if you put your other earphone in.
some things aren’t worth the mental scarring.
it’s almost two hours later when you finish with the essay you’re working on, pull your earphones out of your ears and place the case gingerly on your nightstand, and shut your laptop down for the night. you can’t hear anything from out in the living room, and, surprisingly, there’s no unsavory sounds coming in from jaemin’s room down the hall, either. maybe they’ve already had their fun, you ponder.
she’ll slink out of your apartment in the morning, you guess. maybe you’ll be nice and offer her pancakes on her way out.
you grab your phone from where you’d thrown it haphazardly onto your bed earlier. there’s plenty of text messages lighting up your screen, most of which you ignore. one catches your eye immediately, though.
from: jeno ;)
i’ve been thinking about you.
his text has you quirking an eyebrow, but as you scroll up to find the picture that accompanies it, you take a sharp breath, your teeth sinking into your lower lip on impulse.
you’ve been fucking jeno for weeks, but even now the sight of his prominent bulge covered only by thin gray sweatpants has your mouth watering. the two of you are good friends - surprising, considering he’s jaemin’s best friend - and you know what you have will never amount to a real relationship. it’s the healthiest you can imagine a friends-with-benefits relationship to be, and you’re grateful for it.
and for the sex. god, are you grateful for the sex.
you rush to change out of the ratty old band shirt and boy shorts you’re wearing, opting to switch them out for a lace set you’d bought recently that you’ve been dying to show off. you clasp the bra easily before you pull on the matching light pink underwear.
as you settle in front of the floor length mirror that leans against your closet door, you can’t help but let your thoughts wander to jaemin. his little prude, huh? you laugh to yourself, wondering how he’d react if he knew you got dicked down semi-regularly by jeno. just because you aren’t as obvious as he is doesn’t mean you aren’t getting any.
you switch positions until you find a pose that’s just right, capturing your bitten bottom lip, the swell of your breasts, and how the lace hugs your hips. before you can second guess yourself, you snap a picture. 
if only jaemin could see you now.
you type out a short message - see something you like? maybe you should come over and look closer - and hit send, staring at your reflection for a bit longer before pushing yourself off the floor and back up onto your bed. it’s late, far too late for jeno to take you up on your offer, but it can’t hurt to ask. hell, maybe he’ll come over anyways. maybe you can make jaemin wish his walls were soundproof for once.
your phone vibrates in your hand, pulling you out of your thoughts of revenge against your roommate. you glance down, ready to respond cheekily to whatever jeno has said, and -
oh.
from: jaemin :/
fuck
yes
i wouldn’t mind, sweetheart. still, you could’ve asked in person. i’m only a door away, you know
your eyes widen in panic as you realize that, because you’d been thinking of jaemin earlier, you’d typed his name in and not jeno’s, resulting in you sending your honest-to-god nudes to your roommate. you rush to rectify your mistake, your fingers flying as you type a frantic response.
even as you hurry to tell him not to show up to your room naked, which you’re very afraid of him doing whether he has a girl over or not, a voice in the back of your mind can’t help but perk up.
i mean, jaemin is kind of hot, it says, actively laughing at your predicament. you wouldn’t mind being underneath him as he-
"shit!” you hiss out loud, acting as if swearing will distract you for your own thoughts. you press send, cursing the universe for causing your life to lead up to this moment as you do. 
to: jaemin :/
FUCK they weren’t meant for you 
please delete and pretend this never happened
+ don’t you have someone over????
his response comes quickly, and you brace yourself to read them. 
from: jaemin
lol PLEASE as if you have someone to sends nudes to
but yes i’ll delete :(
she left like an hour ago, not really my type
for the sake of your sanity you choose not to respond, only liking his message about deleting the picture you’d sent. you switch out your lace set for the clothes you’d had on earlier, not even bothering to respond to jeno as you’d meant to earlier. as you put your phone on charge and turn out your light for the night, you do your best to force yourself to sleep. 
hopefully, this whole ordeal will have blown over in the morning. 
♕ ♕ ♕
the first thing you notice when you wake up is how insanely bright the sun is. the white curtains on your window do nothing to stop the light from pouring into the room, and you - wait.
white curtains?
you look around, taking in the beat up ryan plushie on top of the bookshelf in the corner of the room and the gaming chair at the desk. as you become more and more awake, your setting makes itself obvious. 
once you realize it, you bolt upright, wondering what the hell you’re doing in jaemin’s room, especially when jaemin is nowhere to be found. you know you don’t sleepwalk, and you know for a fact that you’d fallen asleep in your own bed. 
it’s only as you swing your legs out of bed and happen to glance down at them that you realize what has happened.
before you can say anything, however, you hear a voice - your own voice exclaim a loud ‘what the hell?’ from down the hall. you rush out of your - jaemin’s - room, only to immediately run into what looks to be your own body.
“(name)?” it says, and you gulp before nodding.
“jaemin?”
♕ ♕ ♕
“look,” you say, pinching your - jaemin’s - nose bridge. “we’ve been arguing for like an hour, now. it’s obvious that neither of us know why this happened, so we might as well try to figure out what we can do to make it un-happen!”
“it’s because you sent me that nude,” he says, running a hand through his - your - hair. “the universe reset itself out of shock at seeing you do something remotely sexual.”
“if i was in my own body, i’d kick your ass right now,” you swear, pushing yourself up off of the dining table which you’d been leaning against. you take a threatening step towards jaemin. he laughs. 
“if i was in my own body, i’d... i’d probably be jerking off right now, to be honest. i miss my dick.”
you wince in disgust, staring down at his - your - face. “better not be to my picture.”
he shakes his - your - head at this, though not without raising his eyebrow at you. “i’m not a complete asshole - i deleted when you asked me to.”
“thank you,” you respond, not sure what else is to say. jaemin nods sagely before a grin starts spreading across his face.
“you know, maybe we have to recreate last night to fix it. do the same things, you know? who was the message meant for last night? maybe i’ll send them another one today.”
the thought of jaemin taking nudes of your body makes you feel dizzy in both bad and good ways. you realize he actually expects you to tell him, and you find yourself shaking your head no in response.
he quirks an eyebrow of yours. 
“what, don’t want me to know? it’s not like i’ll tell anyone, you know. i mean-”
“it’s not that,” you hurry to tell him, and he smirks at you in return. 
“no? then what is it?”
before you can respond, jaemin continues speaking, and you realize his question had been rhetorical. “oh, i know!” he says, sounding as if he’s had the realization of a lifetime. “you meant to send it to me, didn’t you? you just lied and got cold feet, after. i knew it! there’s no way you’re actually-”
in your haste to get jaemin to shut the hell up and your current inability to think straight, you cross the space between you two in one stride before pressing your mouth against his (or, you guess, his mouth against yours), desperate to get him to stop talking. your eyes are screwed shut anyways, so you don’t see his slide shut. 
the two of you stay like that for what feels like an eternity before you pull away.  
“i’m so sorry-” you start, opening your eyes to peer sheepishly up at jaemin. 
wait. 
up?
you blink once, twice, before bursting out into laughter. jaemin, after overcoming his own befuddlement does the same. 
“oh my god, i can’t believe that fixed it,” you say once you get over the shock of being back in your own body. “holy shit.”
“i can’t believe any of that happened in the first place,” jaemin says, and you nod in agreement. a silence falls between the two of you almost immediately as you both try to figure out what to say to each other now. 
you glance around the room, searching for something to fixate your gaze on. you know jaemin is doing the same beside you. before you can say something embarrassing - you’re seriously considering patting him on the back and going ‘good work out there’ - jaemin rests his hands lightly against your waist, forcing you to meet his eyes with yours. 
“i kind of wish i’d experienced our kiss from inside my own body,” he says, and you search his face for an iota of a joke, something that says he’s messing with you. 
there’s none to be found. you reach a hand up to rest against the back of his neck and, before you know it, you’re cupping the back of his head and pulling his lips to yours once again, though this one is much more passionate than the last. his hands tighten their grips on your waist as he pulls you flush against him, and you tangle your fingers in his hair.
once you pull away, you can’t bring yourself to leave his grasp. instead, you ask him the question that’s burning on your mind. 
“do you want to see the lace set in person?”
your roommate nods, his excited actions directly contrasting his dark, hooded gaze. he lets you take his hand in yours, allowing you to drag him to your room. just as you shove open your bedroom door, however, jaemin speaks again. 
“out of curiosity, who was the picture meant for?”
you stare at him for one, two beats before sighing, wincing right after. he gazes back at you both steadily and expectantly, and you figure you may as well say it. 
“it ... it was meant for jeno.” 
"what?”
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drspencerweed · 4 years ago
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Since REQUEST 4 is all caps, I wanna know about that one hehe~
its SO WEIRD i don’t know why it’s the only one in all caps but thats how it is in my drive lmfao 
anyway! this is a request I promised to fulfill in return for someone getting me a link to an mgg interview ages ago, and it was a simple request for a ‘theres only one bed’ trope fic. my brain took that and created an entire plot revolving around an undercover case, so it’s actually the first multi-part spencer fic that I’ll be posting! 
I know you didn’t ask for a snippet but I am really excited about this one so here’s a little sneak peak: 
“Before we go in, let’s go over our stories one more time.” He said, turning to face me completely. I nodded. 
“We’re Mr. and Mrs. Wilson. We got married last week, and both of us took off the next two weeks for our stay-at-home honeymoon.” I restated what I had read what felt like hundreds of times since being given the assignment the day before. Spencer obviously had it all memorized after one read through, but it took me a little more than that. 
“You’re an accountant at a law firm, and I’m a lawyer. We met on the job.” Spencer said. 
“We’ve been together for three years, engaged for one. Are there any other relevant details?” I asked. There was a lot more in the files, but I thought the basics we had set out were the most important things. And although it was unlikely that the unsub was already stalking us, on the off chance that he was, sitting in the car in the driveway for too long may look suspicious. 
“We are overwhelmingly in love.” Spencer said. Of course. The unsub was targeting couples that were so happy it made him jealous. So we had to be the picture perfect couple, not only to attract him but also to pass as a newlywed couple. It would be the easiest and hardest part of the assignment. Spencer smiled at me once more, and I returned it. He must have sensed my nerves, because he reached out and took my hand in his. “We got this.” 
“I know.” I answered, nodding, putting on a facade. I slipped into the mindset I would have to adopt for the next week. Spencer was mine, I was his, and we were in love. “Let’s do this.” 
We got out of the car, and as soon as I was on the side Spencer was on, he grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers. I smiled up at him. 
Right before we got in the house, Spencer pulled me in by the grip he had on my hand. I was pressed right against his chest, and he brought our lips together in a soft kiss. Melting into it, I had to try very hard to not reveal how shocked I was by his actions. Obviously we were going to kiss this week, but I didn’t expect it so soon. My lips spread into a smile against his, and then he pulled back. He brushed a hand through my hair and looked at me with such love in his eyes I was almost convinced it was real. Who knew Spencer Reid was such a good actor? 
“I believe I’m meant to carry you over the threshold, Mrs. Wilson.” He said, and then immediately gathered me into his arms, bridal style. I yelped as I was lifted off the ground. 
“Spencer!” I laughed, and he just chuckled back at me. 
“Open the door,” He ordered, nodding his head towards the door. I took one of my hands from around his neck, and pushed the front door of the house open. True to his word, he carried me over the threshold of our home and then set me down in the foyer. I thought he would let me go after that, but his hands stayed on my waist and pulled me in for another soul crushing kiss. 
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hwsixel · 3 years ago
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ok so idk if anyone cares but it’s my blog so whatever lmao but, a little life update:
as of today i’ve officially lost 23 pounds and i am super proud of myself! :) i started going to the gym more and eating healthier, i’m hoping i can keep it up and lose about 50 more pounds to get to my goal weight (170) but we will see how the next few months go
idk if i mentioned but i dropped out of college this semester bc of personal issues following my grandpa dying (and about two weeks ago my other grandpa died so i’m glad i made the decision i did) but i’m super happy bc i am going back in january!! i transferred schools and changed my major completely, so i’m not sure if i’ll still graduate on time but that was never super important to me so i’m not too worried. everyone told me if i dropped out i would never go back and to not do it so it feels good to prove all of them wrong lmfao. only problem is i don’t have a laptop so if you guys know any place i can get a cheap one please share 💀
i’ve been at my new job for about four months now and i’m doing very well there! i’m making so much more than i was before and the environment is so much better!! i think i’m making enough to put a significant amount away to save up for an apartment.
those are all the good things, but honestly i haven’t been feeling great. it’s weird because i am doing well on the outside but inside i feel tired and frustrated with everything. my love life is nonexistent, which sucks sometimes. my friendships with about four people are very strong but i got cut out by several people that i thought i meant more to this year and that’s been bothering me for months. i feel like i lost several huge fragments of my life this year and i’ve just been down about it. and i can’t use food to cope which sucks a lot too! if you read this far, thank you! you must be super cool to want to read my post 💀 this is kind of my emotional support blog and since it’s anonymous i don’t feel scared to vent or share things like i do on my personal social media accounts.
thanks love y’all :)
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pantheracore · 3 years ago
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Story Time 1
I’ve decided I’m going to partially start using my blog as a well, actual blog. Starting with this 4am story time. (It is 4am as me writing this.) Special thank you to that one post about ‘would you help a cop in distress, share if you wouldn’t’ or however it is phrased. Also I don’t care if someone reads this or not, it’s just nice to actually talk about.
Okay so, I once dated a cop. Get your ‘yikes’ and ‘gross’ out now, because it becomes worse knowing he was a cishet and neurotypical cop and I’m transmasc and neurodivergent.
The story starts with a little bit of context in high school, I was going through a shit ton of trauma at the time, trying to cope in a dangerous home life and struggling not to be kicked out (which inevitably happened at the age of 14 six days before my birthday, sorry for another time though). I had been introduced to this guy through volunteering at the concessions during football games. We started texting and chatting a lot, one of the big topics was about Arctic Monkeys, which comes up again later.
So, skip forward a few weeks and I end up telling this guy that I really liked him. Of course I wasn’t having the best attachments at the time for reasons above, but I was able to open up a bit and had my first crush. Well, nothing comes of it, he dates someone else two weeks later, then I eventually get kicked out, move out of state and back a few times, before finally settling back in that town. As an adult now, I kind of minded my own business until out of the blue, he messages me again. Now, I still had a soft spot for him because yknow, he was my first real crush and person I liked. I could still remember the comfort while talking to him and dealing with all my personal life bullshit. We start talking and he ends up hanging out.
We would often go out to eat, him treating me, and when we would hang out at my house, he, like every other cishet guy I dated, pressured me into yknow, nsfw activities, knowing I was going by aroace at the time. After that started happening, we would end up talking like once every other week, or even once every three weeks. I didn’t care cause we weren’t in an official relationship yet.
I decided to end up telling him I kind of wanted to date, and invited him to Thanksgiving with my family. Now that whole thing is a story for a different time because it involves my heavily christian step-aunt who claims to know I had DID when I was in the 3rd grade and who gets ‘prophetic messages’ and just bleh. That’s a trip in of itself.
Everything goes well, my aunt pulls the ‘oh we all know he really cares about you, you can tell’ bullshit. Which it was. So not only am I being pressured into NSFW (non-maliciously tbh) but my family is now pressuring me into dating him and staying with him.
Well luckily for me, though I didn’t realize it at the time, he would keep coming over once every like 2 weeks. I would ask to hang out with him more and his friends (which he only took me to see once) and I even old him about availability in the apartment complex I lived in. So him and his friend moved in a building or so down. I was excited cause this meant he could come over more right?
Yeah no. That’s when he started to really ghost me and talk to me maybe once a month. He would sit there and make a plan to walk over and see me, but always cancel. After not hearing from him for 3 months I finally decided I was done being a side piece, cause guess what, I was apparently.
I found out he was dating someone else through a mutual friend later and they actually got engaged a few weeks ago. LMFAO. It’s fine I have a loving partner now.
Also this is like my most tame story about anyone I have ever dated. Others I might talk about later include a couple I dated where one of them took advantage of me while I was stupid drunk, then that time I dated a 21 year old when I was 17, oh and the person I almost bought a promise ring who left me because they let someone worm inside their brain and dated two people who made me extremely uncomfy one of which was 10 years older than them. :D
Also fuck cops, every single one I know is a piece of shit including one whose son did a lot of really bad things and he never did anything about it.
I swear my luck is fucking god tier. Anyways, I’ll tell a funny story next time.
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zeitgeistghoul · 5 years ago
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Love Without Demand 1/?
Pairing: George Weasley/Reader
Summary: You reconnect with George Weasley at Bill and Fleur's wedding after a few years of not seeing one another. Takes place during the seventh movie/book
(hi i’m definitely neglecting other fics i want to post on here, but i recently rewatched all the HP movies and Weasley twins r hitting different and then wrote this. LMFAO enjoy!!)
read on AO3
A heavy sigh escaped your lips. You stood in front of your floor-length mirror hanging on the back of your bedroom door, wearing a dress you had been so excited to wear just a few months ago. Now, you weren’t even sure you wanted to leave your flat. The Ministry of Magic was threatening to collapse with each passing day and The Dark Lord’s power was growing. Nothing was safe anymore and that terrified you. It didn’t feel right to be getting dressed up like this, evident in the way the zipper on your dress was only pulled up halfway.
You had been invited to Bill and Fleur’s wedding, something that surprised you. You weren’t particularly close to Bill, or the Weasley family for that matter, but you had gotten to know Fleur quite well when Beauxbatons visited Hogwarts three years ago to compete in the Triwizard Tournament. You two hadn’t spoken much since then, so once you had graduated Hogwarts and found a job at the Ministry for yourself, old memories resurfaced upon the inivitation’s arrival. 
It was odd that Bill and Fleur hadn’t decided to cancel the wedding, given recent events. Most days, you half expected an owl to arrive for you, its beak clutching a letter written in Fleur’s neat handwriting informing you that the wedding had been rescheduled or called off all together. No such letter ever arrived, much to your slight dismay.
You studied your reflection in the mirror, debating whether or not you should just toss the dress back in your closet, call out sick, and spend the night on the couch with a cup of hot tea and pore over some files that the Ministry had you take home for review. On the other hand, you had already done your hair and makeup. It would be a shame to waste it, or, at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. 
You sighed again, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles on your dress. Your need to follow through on every commitment and the dark storm cloud that was your anxiety waged a war inside your head as you sat down on your bed. A glance at the clock hanging on your wall signaled you would need to make a decision soon. Guests were to arrive at 4pm and it was nearly 3:45.
You shook your head, as if to clear your racing thoughts from your mind.
Screw it. 
With a sudden burst of energy, you rose from your bed. You reached for your wand that rested on your bedside table and with a swift flicking motion, zipped up the back of your dress. Another flick of your wand opened your closet door and a pair of heels and a small purse floated out and rested atop your comforter. Slipping on the heels and equipping the purse with an extension charm so it could hold your wand and other miscellaneous items, you apparated to the Weasley’s.
***
Your shoes hit the ground with such force, it nearly caused you to stumble over. 
Regaining your balance, you took in your surroundings. You found yourself standing in a field of tall grass that surpassed your head. A small channel of water was to your left and out of pure luck, you had managed not to apparate into it. 
You could hear echoes of cheerful laughter and voices coming straight ahead, so you pushed your way through the grass to find the source. Once you emerged, you felt some of the anxiety release its hold on you. A white tent had been pitched in front of what you assumed to be the Burrow. A woman you recognized as Molly Weasley was milling about in the yard, assigning tasks to anyone in her field of vision. Ron Weasley rolled his eyes as his mother shooed him inside, telling him to go find a way to make himself useful. Arthur Weasley was hiding an amused smile as she did so. He noticed you approaching, offering you a friendly wave.
“Hello, Y/N!” he called, holding out his hand to shake your own once you had gotten closer. You shook his hand firmly, pride swelling in your chest. Arthur Weasley was one of the few members of the Ministry who actually went out of their way to interact with you while on the job. Whenever you passed him in the halls or rode the lift with him, he always said hello and asked how your internship was going. Though you didn’t know him well, you appreciated his genuine kindness.
“Please make yourself at home, but I’d recommend avoiding my wife for the time being. She’ll find you something to do before you can even tell her your name.” You smiled and thanked him, making your way to the entrance of the Burrow. Before you could enter, the front door flew open, revealing a frazzled looking Fleur Delacour.
“Y/N?” she said. Before you could respond, she threw her arms around and hugged you tightly, which you returned.
“It’s been far too long, Y/N!” she said. “I’d begun to think something happened.” 
“Right, um, sorry about that,” you responded, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear sheepishly. “I’ve been busy with my job.” 
“That’s right!” Fleur exclaimed. “Last I’d heard, you’d been assigned a position at the Ministry. You’ll need to tell me all about it.” She slung an arm around your shoulder, guiding you inside. “Come now, you can help me get ready.”
***
Fleur was using Mr. and Mrs. Weasley’s bedroom to get ready. Her dress was hanging in a garment bag on the closet door and an open bag of luggage lay on the ground, its contents spilled out onto the floor. 
“Don’t mind the mess,” Fleur said, taking a seat onto the bed. “My mind is a bit all over the place right now.” 
“Who else is here?” you asked, admiring the many knick knacks and pictures that decorated the bedroom. Several family photos lined the walls, moving images of the Weasley family smiling back at you as they stood with their arms around one another. 
“You’re actually one of the firsts to arrive,” she said. “So far, it’s just my family, the Weasley’s, and Hermione Granger”. Oh, and Harry Potter, of course.” Your anxiety collapsed back onto you again, squeezing at your chest like an iron fist.
“Harry Potter is here?” you asked nervously. You heard his name whispered in the halls of the Ministry week after week and knew he had a target on his back.
“Well, of course,” Fleur said matter-of-factly. “Harry and I competed together, so it made sense to include him. Plus, he saved my little sister.” Fleur looked up at you. “Is something the matter, Y/N?” 
You hesitated. The last thing you wanted to do was dump all your worries and anxieties on Fleur on her wedding day. But, at the same time, you knew this would eat away at you all night.
“Has there been any movement amongst the Dark Lord and his followers?” you asked. Fleur’s face fell, folding her hands into her lap.
“We were ambushed last night while trying to create a distraction,” Fleur responded. “Mad-Eye Moody was killed and one of the Weasley twins lost an ear.”
“I think we’re putting ourselves in serious danger tonight, Fleur.” you said. “I’m terribly anxious. The Dark Lord will tear that boy apart.” Fleur stood from the bed and crossed the room to where you stood by the door. She placed her hands on your shoulders, squeezing gently. 
“That’s all I’ve been thinking about too, we’ll be alright, Y/N,.” she said. “We’ve hired security to monitor the event. Plus, some extremely skilled and powerful witches and wizards will be here tonight. They’ll keep us safe.” You relaxed slightly, taking a deep breath. 
“You’re right,” you said. “Sorry to cause trouble.” Fleur laughed.
“Not at all, now come. I’m about to be married in an hour and I’m not even half ready.”
***
Fleur and Bill’s ceremony had been beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that you had forgotten all about your worries for the time being. Now, you sat at one of the many guest tables,watching with a slight twinge of jealousy as Fleur and Bill danced happily with another, their arms clasped around one another. A crowd of guests had formed a circle around them and clapped along to the music. Your job didn’t allow you much time for romance, so to see Fleur and Bill dancing without a care in the world made you envious. You sipped your second glass of wine for the night, sighing dejectedly.
“Everything alright there, Y/N?” a voice asked, rousing you from your thoughts. You looked up and your eyes met the warm brown ones of a Weasley twin. He was holding his own glass of wine in one hand and the other rested atop a chair in front of him. Bandages wrapped around his forehead to the back of his head, one side pulled down to cover his left ear. 
“I, um, yes,” you stumbled over your words, beginning to panic as you realized you weren’t certain if you were speaking to Fred or George. You had a feeling it was George, but it had been so long since you’d seen either of them, you couldn’t be sure. “I’m speaking to George, correct?” You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 
“That’s right, I’m George!” George laughed. “I’m surprised you could tell, it’s been a few years, hasn’t it?” He motioned to the chair to your right. “Mind if I join you?” You nodded, pulling the chair out for him to sit. As he did so, you got a better look at his ear. He must have noticed you gawking, because a smile crossed his lips. 
“Looks bloody awful, doesn’t it?” he asked, pointing to the bandages. “Got clipped by a Death Eater.” 
“That’s terrible, George,” you said. “I’m so sorry.” George shrugged, taking a sip from his glass.
“It’s not all bad, I suppose. Better off than being dead and besides, I feel quite saint-like”. You paused, not quite sure what he meant. 
“‘Saint-like?’”
“Yeah, I feel Hole-y. Get it?” You burst into a fit of giggles when the joke registered for you and George’s eyes lit up in delight. 
“Y’know, you’re the first one to find that funny. Mum and Fred didn’t.” 
“In all honesty, George,” you said, stifling another giggle. “I can see why.” George swirled the wine in his glass, taking another sip. 
“Well, a little humor goes a long way, if you ask me. Nowadays, it’s all we’ve got.” 
You both sat in silence for a moment. You had been in a few classes with Fred and George during your time at Hogwarts, but since you had been a Hufflepuff, your interactions with them didn’t reach past the classroom too often. You had always associated the Weasley twins with mischief and rightfully so. You weren’t quite sure how to make conversation.
“How have you been? Since graduating Hogwarts, I mean.” you asked, finally breaking the silence. 
 “Not too bad,” George said. “I own a shop with Fred in Diagon Alley, Harry helped us loads when he invested. Business has been excellent, but seems to have slowed down as of late. I think it’s because people are afraid to leave their homes.”
“What kind of shop do you own?” you asked curiously. George grinned mischievously. 
“A joke shop.” 
How fitting.
“That sounds absolutely perfect for you two.” you said. “I’m glad you’re doing something you love.”
“What about you, then?” George inquired. “Are you doing something you love, too?”
You froze for a moment. You hadn’t really thought about that. 
“I work for the Ministry,” you said, recovering before you could fall into a pit of existential dread about your future. “I’m in the Improper Use of Magic department. I’m just an intern learning the ropes right now, but I’m hoping to work my way up.” 
“Improper Use of Magic department, eh? I’m sure that’s a good time.” George commented. You nodded enthusiastically.
“Yeah, we’ll receive some interesting cases. They let me read the files sometimes to get an idea of how to document them. We get a lot of instances of underage magic, which I’m sure you’re familiar with.” you added jokingly, nudging George’s arm with your elbow. He held his hands up, as if to feign innocence.
“I’ve never engaged in such trivial matters” he said dramatically. “But to be fair, Umbridge may or may not have had it coming.” You laughed, inwardly grimacing as the memories of Umbridge as Hogwarts’ headmaster came back to you. You never quite looked at the color pink the same way after that.
“She’s...something else.” you concluded. “I see her quite frequently at the Ministry.” George shuddered, as if haunted by her memory. 
“Do you ever see my brother Percy? He dreamed about a Ministry job ever since he was a kid.”
“I saw him on my first day, but I don’t think he recognized me. Although, I see your da-” 
Your words fell upon deaf ears as a blue-ish colored orb suddenly shot into the tent. Silence fell upon wedding guests as they stared in shock at the sudden intrusion, trying to process what was happening. The orb spoke:
The Ministry has fallen.The Minister of Magic is dead. They are coming. 
They are coming. 
Chaos ensued. Guests shrieked and hollered, pushing and rushing past one another to escape. Inky black smoke flew in and out of the tent, igniting the small chandeliers that lit the venue like flamethrowers. The flames licked at the roof of the tent, causing them to spread at an alarming rate. 
Your worst fears about tonight were confirmed: the Death Eaters had come for Harry.
“Y/N!” you heard George shout over the chaos. He stunned a Death Eater trying to attack Ginny from behind. “Y/N, we’ve got to go!” 
You felt George grab your hand and pull you out of the tent. The booms! and cracks! of spells and curses rang in your ears as you let George guide you, feeling the cool night air on your skin. You watched guests flee a wedding that, an hour before, had been filled with so much joy and love.
“Get yourself out of here, it’s too dangerous.” George said once you two had put some moderate distance between the chaos yourselves. 
“No, I’m staying here to fight,” you responded indignantly, pulling your wand out of your purse. “I want to help.” If you were going to conquer your fears and anxiety, now was the time to do it. You marched back towards the tent, despite George pleading you not to.
Stupefy!
“Y/N, watch out!” a voice cried out. The spell hit you with such force, it felt like you had been hit by a bus. You fell to the grass, collapsing onto your side. You watched as a plume of black smoke shot up into the sky, your vision growing dark. The last thing you saw before you passed out was Mr. Weasley and George running towards you.
Then, everything went black.
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artificialqueens · 5 years ago
Text
Chamomiles, Chrysanthemums, and Everything In Between [Gigi x Nicky] - ChaosKatya
summary: In which Gigi’s a florist, and she’d like to think she usually has a pretty good head on her shoulders. That is until a new tattoo artist starts shifts in the studio opposite and well, now Gigi’s not quite sure what’s going on with herself anymore. Everyone else seems to know, but Gigi sure doesn’t.
a/n: first full chapter ive ever posted! again, let me know what you think @chaoskatya <3
“Gigi… Earth to Miss Goode? Gigi. GIGI!”
Jaida claps loud, startling Gigi from her trance. Bolting up from where she was leaning on the counter, she turns so quickly to face her coworker she nearly knocks her iced coffee flying. She stumbles for it, saving it from tipping over, smiling sweet like nothing happened.
“Yes, Miss Hall?”
Jaida laughs softly. “Do not Miss Hall me. Girl I was talking to you for a hot minute before I realized no one was home up in that pretty head of yours.”
“Rude. I was nodding and everything?”
“Uh huh. And what was I talking about?” Jaida props her hand on her hip, waiting for an answer.
Gigi wracks her brain, and comes up empty. She at least tries to smile to make up for it. “Uhh, the schedule for the succulent shipment arriving tomorrow?”
Jaida laughs, loud and brief. “Ha! Nice try. Wrong.” She swipes for Gigi’s drink, taking a hearty sip to cement her new ownership.
“Hey–!” Gigi tries to protest, attempting to grab for it but Jaida just holds up a perfectly manicured nail at her.
“Nu uh. You don’t deserve this. ‘Sides, it was totally half melted from how long you were spacing out there. What’s on your mind, girl?”
“Nothing! I’m just. Distracted, that’s all,” Gigi sighs, and can’t help but flicker her eyes out towards Wallflower’s storefront.
Jaida doesn’t miss it. She follows Gigi’s eyes out the window, and raises her eyebrows in understanding. “Mmhm… I’m sure you are,” she smirks and walks away, sipping Gigi’s coffee loudly for punctuation, “Make sure you finish your orders for pickup today before you chase your french fantasy, ma cheri.”
Gigi opens her mouth to argue, then just makes a frustrated noise in defeat. Jaida’s not wrong, she just hates how obvious it’s become. It’s been getting worse, now only 10 am and her head’s already in the clouds and she has yet to actually start working on any of the arrangements she’d meant to have started almost an hour ago. Tying her long hair out of her eyes, she stands at her work station for a good while, staring at the order forms handed to her this morning. All small individual orders, mostly early Valentine’s arrangements for folks looking to beat the inevitable price hike or gifting early to work around prior plans, or some highschoolers probably asking people out to prom since the season’s coming up. Relatively simple and easy for Gigi’s skill, but she still can’t get herself to focus. When nothing comes to her, probably from the lack of coffee, she decides not to linger and gets up to check on the displays.
She goes over a checklist in her head for things she could do that’s still considered productive but isn’t at her actual arrangement station. She checks soil moisture in the succulents, watering the drier ones, prunes some of their smaller flowering shrubs that are getting a little bushy, and double checks the temperatures on the floral coolers.
She’s wiping down the leaves on a large monstera in the houseplant section when she smacks herself on the forehead, realizing she’s subconsciously navigated herself towards the front of the store and is now conveniently right beside the front window. Still, she can’t help herself, and tries to peer across the pedestrian street in hopes that at least seeing her today will temporarily get her out of her system.
It’s been a week since Harmonize, the tattoo studio across Wallflower, had filled in their vacancy and signed on their newest artist. The two stores are fairly friendly, when Gigi was hired over a year ago the owner Widow had brought over fresh baked bread to introduce herself, and it was one of their artists Crystal whom Gigi chose to ink the small piece on her rib. In fact, the two grew pretty close and she’s hung out with Crystal as many times as she’s hung out with Jaida who’s her actual coworker, the three of them often grabbing lunch or a drink together if time permits. It was her understanding that even before Gigi had joined the team, all the stores on their little promenade area were relatively familiar with each other. It was a small shopping district, all pedestrian walkways and local establishments, not fairly common anymore with the rise of larger malls. This meant the stores often knew and supported each other for solidarity, and that it wasn’t odd for people from other stores to pop in and introduce themselves.
That being said, it’s been a week since the new girl had started shifts and Gigi still hasn’t worked up the courage to talk to her. She’s only caught glimpses of her, either walking out with Crystal after locking up or stepping out in the middle of the day for a smoke break. Gigi knew of them needing a replacement after Dahlia had moved coasts, but she remembers how when actually seeing her in person for the first time her breath completely hitched in her throat and she had to run to the break room to hide for a bit.
Luckily for Gigi, unluckily for her work still left unattended, the walkways meant not a considerable distance between the two storefronts and she’s immediately able to catch a glimpse of the mystery girl inside leaning against the front desk. She can visibly see her short, slicked back platinum hair looking as pristine as always, and today she’s got on a red lip that looks so, so good. She barely knows anything about her, doesn’t even know her name, but by god would it be a lie to say she isn’t pretty enamoured.
Crystal’s obviously her coworker, but no amount of pleading texts will yield her any information. Jaida’s spoken to her already on her own but also refuses to tell Gigi anything, apparently because she thinks Gigi’s refusal to go alone is funny, other than that she’s French and hotter up close and that her accent was “delicious” which was incredibly not helpful. Gigi contemplates how this accent might sound when instead it’s her boss’s voice that suddenly appears next to her.
“She is pretty hot. I think I have a crush on her too.” Jackie says plainly into Gigi’s ear.
Gigi yelps and jumps again for the second time this morning, this time a lot more embarrassed thanks to being caught by her boss not only clearly slacking off but openly staring at the store opposite. And that she can’t even cover up Jackie knowing exactly why she was staring.
Jackie just laughs good naturedly and shoves an iced coffee into Gigi’s hands, holding another two against her chest.
“I was on the way when Jaida texted me saying she drank yours and to pick you up another one, so I got some for all of us. Something about you needing the caffeine, and I can see why,” she looks out the window to Harmonize, then back at Gigi, “finish those orders first, yeah?” She smiles knowingly at the younger girl, then heads to the back room where Jaida is probably counting stock.
Jesus christ, she was too preoccupied with her own thoughts she didn’t even hear Jackie come in. Their door has a fucking bell and she was standing right beside the front window. Well, nothing like a mountain of work and some fresh iced coffee to shake off a morning of embarrassment.
All things considered, Gigi loves her job. It’s something sacred to her, something guaranteed to ground her, soothing her senses and pulling her into a focused zone like nothing else. She loves the feeling of stems in her hands, watching an empty vase or paper wrap build into a living work of art that tells a story. She was never that big on plants as a whole, Jaida and Jackie tend to cover the succulent houseplant and herb territory better than she ever could, but she’s always had a soft spot for the flowers. She’s built up her craft and made a niche for herself in Wallflower very quickly, there’s nothing more enticing to her than mixing and matching colors, textures, shapes and sizes until her perfectionist ass is satisfied with the outcome. She always jokes that none of her work comes out short of instagram perfect, well worth more than just their price. She’s even taken to studying up on old flower meanings in her spare time, and while she thought they were silly at first she did grow a little attached to the convolutedness and intricacy that goes into working meanings into her arrangements.
She’s got a couple of standard bouquets up first- Wallflower provides a ‘cheat sheet’ of pre-determined arrangements for customers not particularly picky or familiar with what goes into their bouquets. She holds a sunflower in the center of the vase to build upon, surrounding it with a smattering of simple pink and red roses. She fills the shape with baby’s breath and green heather for texture, before filling whatever gaps are left with myrtle sprigs for more greenery.
She goes over the meanings in her head while she ties off and trims the stems and decoratively wraps the arrangement in delicate, pink paper and clear cellophane- adoration, happiness, love, innocence, admiration, love. It’s incredible to her how many flowers basically mean the same thing, but she supposes it’s hard to offer something as beautiful as a flower and not convey some form of affection.
She’s a couple of arrangements in before her phone buzzes in her back pocket, pulling her out of her groove. She wipes her hands down her apron and pulls it out to see a groupchat message from Crystal.
Clown Whore 🤡👅 just got off a client but LMFAO totally saw u staring @ N u aint slick @Gigi Goode
Gigi can’t help but widen her eyes a little and type her reply back a little frantic.
Goode, Gooder, Goodenest Gracious! 🌼 her name starts with N????? Nina? Natalie? Naomi? is Naomi french enough to count as a valid guess?
Clown Whore 🤡👅 LOL u know we aint tellin u its been a week. JUST TALK TO HER U DUMB ASS LESBIAN
Goode, Gooder, Goodenest Gracious! 🌼 :( ya’ll are mean. why are you my friends. Michelle’s for lunch? @Jaida @Crystal
shoulders & attitude (and not much else) 🌵🌵 lol im down
Clown Whore 🤡👅 breaks in 30. come to yall then :))
Gigi takes note of the time and puts her phone down sighing. She loves her friends with all her heart, but they’re also assholes whose favorite hobby is bullying poor Gigi especially when it comes to Gigi’s ability, or lack thereof, to deal with cute girls. Still, she wouldn’t trade the world for them (not that she would ever say that to their faces, she has some pride).
She continues her arrangements, hitting a snag on a particular one that for some reason requested a fairly large centerpiece, “all whites, minimal greenery- romantic but no roses” but at the same time “nothing too funeral-y or wedding-y”. She’s built and torn apart the arrangement around 6 times and is close to ripping her hair out when Jaida materializes in front of her station.
“You good, sis?” she laughs, picking up the order slip to examine herself.
Gigi looks around and realizes her station looks a hot mess, whites and greens strewn haphazardly everywhere. “Yes, you’re looking at my personal funeral. We good to go?”
“Yeah, ‘bout that. Crys texted that she’s gonna take a smoke for a bit and I’m gonna join her, is it alright if you go ahead? We’ll catch up, it’s all on me” Jaida says cheerily, handing Gigi her card.
Gigi raises her eyebrows in suspicion, idly wondering why Crystal didn’t just message their chat, but takes the card anyway. She’s not passing up free lunch. “Sure, the usual for everyone?”
“Yep, see ya in a bit, girl!” Jaida waves brightly, already on her way out the door.
Weird. But Gigi doesn’t think much of it.
The walk over to Michelle’s is short and uneventful, only being about 2 blocks away, but the small local joint is by far their favorite go-to. It’s arguably a diner, complete with the red leather booths and black and white tiled flooring to match, but it’s become a local staple in the district for being so much more than just a diner. They’ve got a wide variety of comfort foods of all types, plus it’s got halal options for Jackie and vegetarian ones for Crystal. Gigi walks in to the sound of the bell above the push glass door and is immediately greeted by not only the rich smells from the kitchen, but the owner Michelle at the counter. A matronly figure with a heart of gold, she’s made sure to know all of the district regulars by name and face and the girls at Harmonize and Wallflower are no exception. It’s a little past lunch rush, lots of people sitting at the booths and the counter but no one in line.
She greets Gigi as she enters and Gigi’s listing off the usuals for everyone, takeout for Widow and Jackie, when a husky voice pipes up from behind her.
“Oh, actually, Jaida said takeout for everyone. And an additional ceaser, s'il vous plaît.”
Gigi whips around, heart leaping out of her chest, and finds N smiling right behind her. Gigi stammers a bit, definitely fumbling for something to say, and tries her best to get her bearings. “Ohmigod, hi! Shit, hi! Gigi, from Wallflower,” she says quickly, nerves evident, “I haven’t met you yet! Oh my god, you’re N-?”
The blonde just laughs politely to cut her off, perhaps to save her from her fumbling. “Nicolette, but please call me Nicky. Crystal sent me over, says her and Jaida can’t make it and to bring everything back?” Nicky smiles wide, and her smile makes Gigi think her heart is stopping a little too many times today.
Gigi crumples a little in realization. Of course Jaida would offer to pay for everything, she wouldn’t bother unless it came alongside personally torturing Gigi for fun. Well, nevertheless, it’s not like Jaida can avoid payback. Gigi asks Michelle to upsize everyone’s drinks but Jaida and Crystal’s and adds an extra side of ice cream to her own. Michelle swipes Jaida’s card, hands Gigi her small cup of ice cream, then lets them know to sit at a booth while they fix up everyone’s orders.
Nicky and Gigi sit at the booth nearest the door, and Gigi’s glad for the cup of ice cream to keep her busy because her brain’s running in circles trying to think of something to say while also subtly trying to finally get a good look at her. As Nicky settles into the seat opposite, turning to lay her purse next to her, Gigi can’t help but eye some design on her arms before it’s covered once more by the long sleeves of her blouse. Her platinum blonde hair’s slicked back into a short length, now she realizes it goes a little past her chin, and her makeup is impeccable, sharp smokey eyes and red lips. She’s even more gorgeous up close, and it does absolutely nothing to settle Gigi’s nerves. Gigi’s hands fidget with her small plastic spoon, and she’s hyper aware of how she’s now looking anywhere but the girl sitting across her. Thankfully, Nicky leads the conversation.
“I am sorry it’s taken us so long to meet, I have been having a little bit of a hard time putting myself out there” she says with a drop to her voice, and Gigi instantly feels guilty.
“No, no it’s my fault! I should’ve gone over, I had the chance I’m just,” Gigi breathes when she realizes she’s sped up again, and Nicky’s looking right at her earnestly, “-pretty bad at meeting new people.” She drops Nicky’s gaze and rubs the back of her neck, staring directly down into her ice cream. She realizes she’s coming on very weirdly, and she feels very hot all of a sudden. Stupid Crystal, stupid Jaida, this is exactly why she can’t be trusted alone with a pretty girl. Either Nicky doesn’t realize or realize exactly, either way Gigi’s glad she doesn’t bring up how awkward Gigi’s acting.
“Well, no matter,” she interrupts Gigi’s thoughts with a smile, “I’m glad to have met you now. I heard you were the one who had done the arrangement Jackie brought me on my first day, thank you, it was quite beautiful.”
Gigi softens. “Oh, it was my pleasure! Again, I’m really sorry I hadn’t come along to meet you sooner.”
Nicky waves her off, “Please, stop apologizing, it’s alright, we were both busy. Let’s move forward now, yeah?” She smiles brightly again, and it eases Gigi’s heart in a way she could not explain, nor does she want to confront any time soon. But for now, this is nice.
Gigi smiles back and opens her mouth to respond, when Nicky’s phone suddenly rings from her purse. Nicky quickly swipes it out to check the screen.
“Oh, one moment, it’s a client, I’m so sorry” she says, standing up and stepping out of the booth. Gigi tells her no worries as Nicky steps out of the diner to take the call.
Gigi uses this opportunity to breathe, at the same time finishing her melting ice cream and checking her own phone. She’s got a string of messages, all from the culprits.
shoulders & attitude (and not much else) 🌵🌵 LOL
Clown Whore 🤡👅 GO GIGI!!!!!!
shoulders & attitude (and not much else) 🌵🌵 USE YOUR WORDS BOO ure killin it!!!
Clown Whore 🤡👅 what did we say about the accent? :))) plus isnt she so nice shes a whole ass sweetheart
shoulders & attitude (and not much else) 🌵🌵 omg ice cream u bitch k we deserve it
Clown Whore 🤡👅 oooo yall look like youre on a date already :))
shoulders & attitude (and not much else) 🌵🌵 wtf who callin? she got a man?
Goode, Gooder, Goodenest Gracious! 🌼 YO WTF FUCK YALL WHAT WAS THAT :((( WARN ME, ASSHOLES? I WASNT READY also are you here?? how do you know???
Clown Whore 🤡👅 michelle’s texting us LMAO
Gigi whips her head up to see Michelle at the counter across the diner, phone in hand, typing away. She meets Gigi’s eyes and sends her a wink, laughing mirthfully.
Goode, Gooder, Goodenest Gracious! 🌼 is my whole life snitches and traitors???
Clown Whore 🤡👅 💖💖
shoulders & attitude (and not much else) 🌵🌵 💛💛💛💛
At this point Michelle comes around to the table and carefully sets down the stacks of takeout containers bundled in two plastic bags, but not without patting Gigi on the back and whispering you got this darling. Gigi just groans in exasperation.
Clearly, everyone has it out for her in this life. But she decides that hey, maybe that’s not so bad. They’re her friends and her friends care and they bully her a little but that’s what friends are for. Care enough to call her out on her stupidity and force her to act. What exactly she’s acting on, she’s not quite sure, but things are certainly happening. And she’s finally met Nicky, who is intimidatingly gorgeous but also kind and nice and she’s happy for that. Sure, she’s extremely attractive, but part of her doesn’t even remember why she was so afraid to talk to her in the first place when her presence now seems to both scare and ease Gigi in a way she really can’t name. And while she may not really understand all that she’s feeling maybe, just maybe, that’s okay too.
Nicky steps back into the diner and turns back to Gigi, eyes bright and smile wide.
“Let’s get back to the shops?” she says cheerily, and sticks out her hand for Gigi to hold.
Gigi takes a deep breath, smiles, and takes it. “Yes, let’s.”
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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago
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Thank you again and still for all the help and support! I really truly can not imagine making it through the past couple days without it, considering I spent most of it awake and in the bathroom puking from the constant migraines that come with your head not being happy about its bones not being in the right place. Stress aggravates them, or at least my awareness of them, and because of how little work there is currently and how expensive being broke and disabled in LA is, let’s just say, there’s been stress, lol.
I’m feeling a bit better today, or at least I’m making myself pretend that and act like that since I’ve got another appointment at that clinic where I get my juicy and tasty IV bags of nutrients pumped into me since I barely even CAN eat, physically, which combined with the lack of sleep and the nausea, like, also not a great combination.
So, I mean it when I say your donations and support have absolutely been invaluable, everything from a couple dollars to an anonymous message, like, its all amazing and appreciated and invaluable. Yeah. I already said that, whoops, anyway, BUT I DIGRESS.
That’s about all of an update I have there, lol, so in other news, I should be around more today since like I said, I’m feeling a bit better and have possibly plateau-ed on this latest pain level. (My super-annoying superpower....ever since I was a kid I’ve been able to adapt to increases in pain like a pro. As in, being able to manage/function despite it. Course, I still feel it, but give me a day or two to adjust to a new norm in how much my body hates me currently, and then I can power through).
So, like I said, I should be around more today, and I’ll probably be random as hell. Like I’ve mentioned before, my blog is where I spew literally everything from inane thoughts to fandom feels, since its like.....my only social outlet these past couple years and the only way I get to interact with people who aren’t doctors. Expect no pattern in topics until I find whatever sticks and keeps me focused on it enough to serve as a distraction from, y’know, the broke body and broke bank account.
SO! Absolutely feel free to hit me up about anything and everything. ESPECIALLY if you’ve made a donation or sent me something. Like, I know some people who have sent money don’t even follow me or know me at all and are just generous spirits who saw my post somewhere, but for any of you who have sent any kind of support just cuz you like, like me and my rambles, lol, totally feel free to drop into my messages even on anon and say what kind of posts or content from me you really engage with and would love to see more of. I can’t make any promises or guarantees, unfortunately, given I didn’t expect or plan on crashing so hard these last couple days, bleh, and just....literally, like, writing more of the kind of stuff or posts people who have helped me stay alive is pretty much the only way I have of kinda giving at least something back, so I mean, I am happy to pounce on anything in that direction. 
Again, just can’t make any guarantees given how unpredictable my life is and depending on how many people send requests or prompts or messages, etc, but I don’t delete anything of that nature and I usually get back around to stuff EVENTUALLY. For instance, I’m REALLY hoping to finish up two one-shots today, one that’s focused on Duke, Dick and Cass from that prompt you sent me a couple weeks ago, @zee-gee, and the other uh.....that umm, TW/X-Men fusion you commissioned way longer ago than my pride will allow me to admit in public @camelotpark, lol. And like, those posts you see me making to @russianspacegeckosexparty about the changelings project I talk about a lot, like.....Adam basically just sends me random thoughts and prompts about it all the time, and its like a running thread that’s easy for me to pick back up and sink into whenever I see a new one in my inbox and I’ve got enough spoons at the moment to dig in.
Also have a couple other things I want to respond to today while I have the energy and a destined-to-be-longer-than-it-needs-to-be meta about Dick’s positioning in narratives with various other characters and WHY I think it so usually works out that way, and I’m aiming to keep that more like....musing-esque than rant-errific, but uh, let’s see how that actually goes, lmfao.
Anyway, that’s what I have in mind for today, aside from my going to get my IV buffet at ten and emailing and calling people from listings about rooms to rent, but tbh, I might just end up being even more random and sporadic than usual, if I can’t focus on any of those long enough to stay sufficiently distracted today. (Like, my other annoying superpower as long-time followers have heard before, is my ridiculously fast metabolism. I know, “oh no, I’m so skinny, poor me,” but like....its never been about weight gain or loss for me, its about how fast my body processes various medications, meaning pretty much every painkiller I’ve ever tried is largely useless to me, or at most wears off in a couple hours.....whereas my ADHD meds actually provide me MORE relief from the pain than any of them. Basically, they let me actually focus on something OTHER than pain and not get interrupted/distracted by the occasional pain spike that likes to remind me its there and wants my attention......so I mean, I still feel everything that comes with my head being physically out of whack, but for the hours vyvanse is working for me, coupled with some heavy duty pain meds, I can like.....just sorta....not care about it for awhile. Like, it hasn’t gone away but its more shoved to the back of my mind at least. And all of that, I’m happy to stuff in a closet whenever I can, lol).
And that’s enough rambles for this post, I think. LOLOLOL, as if I have a quota. But yeah. Just wanted to express how much your support has meant and continues to mean, and like.....I’m still here and alive and crossing fingers that I’ll hear about an actual surgery date soon, but in the meanwhile like......I’m kinda stuck in a perpetual Limbo, one that’s largely confined to whatever is in hobbling distance from my bed of the day, and as much as donations help me physically, in remaining able to at least stay that way, just, any and all interactions on here help by keeping me engaged with the world on at least some level, and make it so I have stuff to think or talk about beyond my own situation and how I’m not a super huge fan of that.
(Okay, I shouldn’t say any and ALL interactions are appreciated, since I have my fun little runs of anon hate in my inbox, but I mean, all of the above is why they’re not really a big deal to me and never have been. Its like, dude, my own body has been trying to take me out for the past three years, and you think a few insults from an anonymous stranger are gonna do the trick? LOLOL, please. Tbh, the only real negative effect anon hate has on me is that it makes me a bit more snappish and quick to assume the worst than I’d like, when people @ me in a way that I misread as aggressive or in bad faith. I’m aware that my day-to-day temperment is a lot more irritable and open to fights than I usually like to be, as self-control is kinda a big deal to me, and my situation and stress and other shit kinda keep me constantly operating at a level best described as itchy, and none of that is an excuse for any times I read an interaction wrong and go for the throat. I just mean like.....I’m a very blunt and straight-forward person, and I do appreciate when people take a similar approach to me as it really helps keep those misreads to a minimum. Any time someone wants to engage with me in some way, I promise I am SO much easier to talk to if you just....put it out there, whatever it is. Its the games people play online (and in real life) that just frustrate the hell out of me and...yeah. Again, I’m not saying any of that as an excuse or a request for a free pass any time I fuck up an interaction or cross a line, I’m just saying, if anyone’s held back on interacting with me because they think I might snap at them or mistake it for them trying to start a fight, like......just be direct with me. Honestly, thats just....always gonna be more productive when it comes to me.)
But yeah. So that’s the current state of me and all that jazz. Again, I so appreciate everything everyone’s done to support me, not just these past couple days but over the course of these past three years as well. I notice and remember all of it, and its why even though I rant and complain and am critical about so much in society and fandoms and all that.....I really truly am a believer in the idea that there’s more good in people and the world than bad, and the bad just tends to be louder is all. It was especially loud for me the last couple days, the volume got way jacked up, but the goodwill from you guys has been more than enough to drown it out and give me some reprieve.
Alright, shutting up now. All done. The end.
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dear-wormwoods · 5 years ago
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I saw someone vague about your posts about Sandy and that you reduce her to only being an example of Richie's bisexuality which in turn is reflective of how you see Eddie and I am pissed that this cunt didn't factor in context or the possibility that you think of her in other ways too and that one fucking take that is meant to be in the context of Richie's sexuality =/= the only way you see her. Nuance is a thing, people.
I mean, people can say what they want I guess but I’m still laughing at this anyway. Obviously if I’m asked about bi Richie I’ll mention her in that context. But I also wrote a post about Sandy as a character a few weeks ago, which didn’t mention Richie’s sexuality literally at all. Unless you count suggesting he has a type as that (is that also how it “reflects how I see Eddie”? Lmfao). Or maybe the mere act of treating his relationship with Sandy as genuine is what’s so offensive to this person?
The reality is that Sandy isn’t a character who appears in the novel outside of the context of her relationship with Richie. Richie only talks about their relationship. There’s really not much to analyze outside of that without veering quickly into headcanon territory. So... am I to assume that talking about the way Richie talks about her is what qualifies as reducing her to an example of Richie’s bisexuality?
I like the idea of Sandy a lot. I like that she’s, so we’re told, smart and ambitious, unafraid to speak her mind, and willing to put herself first. And I like the fact that Richie had at least one genuine loving relationship in his adult life (I say ‘at least’ because we don’t actually know - she’s just the only one who is relevant to the vasectomy story). But we literally only know about her through Richie talking about their relationship. She’s already “reduced” to that in the text, because she is only discussed in the context of the Losers having god damn babies. And the story takes place years prior to the events of the novel so there’s no reason for Richie to dwell on it outside of telling the vasectomy story. The fact that he’s not sitting there angsting about it internally doesn’t mean it wasn’t a valid relationship - it just means that Richie has moved on from it.
He fell hard for her (his words), wanted to marry her and almost did - twice, lived with her for two and a half years, and they only broke up when they did for career related reasons. Those are the facts according to Richie. If some people want to choose to ignore that in order to force book!Richie into complying with their own headcanons then that’s on them. I’m not doing anything wrong by literally believing his story.
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