#i mean. the metaphor for bisexuality is practically GLARING at you

[intricate-ritualz]

jason: yeah i just feel like i’m expected to pick a side, ya know? but why can’t i choose both sides? why can’t there be some sort of fluidity with these things?

leo: shit, man! you’re bi? this is amazing news because as a matter of fact i–

jason: … i was talking about the greek and roman camps??

[brattykeith]

What Happened to Your Face?! (Klance)

My piece for the exchange I did with @kymmo-draws ! I hope you like it~!

Prompt:  They would like teen klance (13-17): Teen klance making fun of each other during puberty (voice cracking, acne, etc) then meeting again after like 5 years to see that "oH he's hot".

“Lance, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning,” Hunk announced miserably as his best friend chatted away wildly into his ear. He snuggled under his blanket, his cell phone practically vibrating against his pillow with the force of Lance’s voice.

“Hunk, time is just a concept! Like aliens! Or Keith Kogane’s pride when he realizes that Lance McClain has become the number one bachelor at the Garrison!”

“Number one?” Hunk repeated with a yawn.

“Hell yeah! I can’t wait to see that pizza-faced nerd’s expression once he realizes that he’s been defeated in all manners of seduction and popularity!!”

“I don’t even think Keith was all that popular? His older brother Shiro was, Keith was just super smart, right?” Hunk noted, snuggling deeper into his bed.

“Hunk! You’re ruining it!”

“I mean, he never even dated anyone back then, right?”

“HUNK!”

“Fine, fine,” Hunk yawned again, turning to nuzzle his pillow. “How’d you even know he was back in town?”

“As you know, I am a being of many connections and-“

“Pidge heard from her brother Matt who’s friends with Shiro, right?”

“Hunk!”

“Yeah, yeah,”

“Anyways, Matt and Shiro are going to go to the Arus Diner tomorrow for lunch and they’re dragging Pidge and Keith out as well, we need to be there!”

“For some pizza?” Hunk asked hopefully to his pillow.

“No! Well, I mean, yeah, but after I metaphorically walk all over Keith’s face with how attractive I’ve become.” Lance reasoned.

“Sounds good.” Hunk answered with a yawn of finality. “Don’t forget to put your facemask on for the night.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, see you, buddy!”

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Keith stared intently at his phone, doing his best to mimic Pidge in ignoring their brothers’ pathetic attempts at flirting.

Matt and Shiro were a trainwreck, but that flaming train was decorated with heart-shaped confetti and good intentions. If your idea of flirting was complimenting someone on their choice of pizza toppings then you needed serious help. Keith and Pidge caught each other’s eye, sending a glance at their idiot brothers as the pair chatted happily about constellations. God, what a bunch of nerds.

Pidge and Keith had a running bet about who’d manage to propose first.

The loser had to wear a dress for the wedding.

Keith managed to sneak another piece of pizza out from between the bubble of love and affection that was Shiro and Matt’s conversation, doing his best to inhale the slice before any more residual affection could infect it.

It wasn’t that Keith didn’t like the idea of love, rather he’d just never been in love. In high school, he’d been smart but not attractive. His grades had gotten him clearance to go on a diplomatic mission with Shiro to another flight program in Asia. It’d been nothing more than a student exchange, but as a result, Keith had learned a lot and made a few friends, like Regris. Regris had given Keith the full Korean skincare routine do-over, at least until Keith had shown zero comprehension of anything concerning makeup. By the time Keith was set to leave he’d narrowed it down to three steps and Keith’s acne had mysteriously disappeared. It also helped that in Asia sword fighting was a perfectly acceptable way to get fit and healthy, he’d gotten a few pounds of muscle to boot. Allura had called it a ‘glow up’ when he got back.

The loud shatter of glassware had all of them jumping, worst of all Shiro who both Matt and Keith placed a placating hand on. Keith sent a glare over to whoever was responsible, blinking when he realized that it was some tall, cute guy that was currently staring back at him. Keith blinked, a small blush dusting his cheeks, at least until Pidge barked out an annoyed ‘Lance!’

Lance?

Lance?

Lance?

Keith was staring back now, flashbacks to the kid with acne and baby fat galore. There was no way. First off, this guy was taller than Keith. Back in high school Keith had managed two inches on Lance and had used both to his advantage in every fight that Shiro hadn’t personally broken up. Second off, this guy’s skin looked nice, like Regris had also shipped him a bottle of Korean skincare magic. Third off, he was fit, and it showed in the line of his jaw and the curve of muscle in along his forearms. Keith felt his cheeks grow redder after noticing that particular bit.

What. The. Fuck.

“Keith?” Lance choked out, sounding like he was the last person he expected to meet here. And suddenly Keith found himself checking himself over and mentally wincing over the fact that he was only wearing a black t-shirt and yoga pants. He combed his fingers through his hair and managed a surly glare in response.

“Oh, hey, Keith!” Hunk greeted, walking up behind Lance with a mouthful (and plateful) of pizza. “How was Asia? Is their program any better than ours?” He asked conversationally, seemingly unaware that his best friend since preschool was having an aneurysm right next to him.

“It was fine,” Keith managed lowly. Shiro had recovered from his small bout of anxiety and looked prepared to dive between Keith and Lance the second one of them threw a fist at the other. Keith decided that it was far too dangerous to attempt eye contact with Lance and instead turned his attention to the glass of soda Lance had shattered across the floor. “Uh, are you going to get that? Or leave it for the waitstaff like an asshole?” Keith cringed after the words left his mouth, even though high school him would have high fived him for it.

Keith didn’t high five anyone, not even Shiro.

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No. Nonononononononono. Lance’s spirit had projected to a plane of existence where he was free to scream about how fucking cruel the world was. It was cruel. Miserable. And, worst of all, it knew Lance’s type.

Lance hadn’t been the only one to change, and in hindsight, he’d know that was a possibility, but at the same time, this was just cruel.

Keith Kogane was gorgeous.

Lance was dying.

Keith was currently watching Lance through thick lashes, lips turned into the cutest pout in this side of town. His hairstyle was questionable, but it somehow suited him, framing pale skin perfectly. His acne was gone, and maybe that’s why Lance was just now noticing that Keith’s eyes were in the spectrum of blue and violet and utterly gorgeous. Not to mention his voice-cracking had left him with a low, raspy voice that did things to Lance’s spine whenever he spoke.

Lance had recently come to terms with his bisexuality, but Keith Kogane was going to make him full on gay.

Hunk would never let him live it down.

Speaking of Hunk, his best friend nudged him hard in the side, forcing Lance to return to his body.

“W-what…?” He croaked, continuing to stare at Keith.

“Oh boy,” Hunk, who had lived through all of Lance’s previous crushes, muttered under his breath.

Keith seemed to not even want to meet his eyes, turning his attention to the glass at Lance’s feet.

“The glass you dropped?”

Lance had dropped a glass? Lance glanced to the floor to see that he had, in fact, dropped a glass of soda.

“Oh!” Lance looked around, finding a waitress that was side-eyeing him thoroughly. “Hey, I’m sorry. Can I get a broom or something? I’ll clean it up.” He offered. The waitress huffed out a breath before walking to the backroom. Lance snuck another glance at Keith, only to notice that Keith was eyeing him back.

This wasn’t what he’d planned at all. He planned to thoroughly ruin Keith Kogane’s life, only now Keith Kogane was ruining his.

With his face.

“So,” Shiro began, looking to play peacekeeper, “how has it been on this hemisphere? Iverson still making freshmen cry?”

“Of course,” Hunk answered when Lance seemed marginally more invested in his staring contest with Keith. “Just the other day he made this poor kid run out of the classroom in tears.”

“Classic Iverson,” Shiro noted.

“What happened to your acne?” Lance blurted out. The table descended into silence as everyone’s attention drifted to Keith.

“What happened to yours?” Keith fired back.

“I outgrew it, obviously.”

“Same. Obviously.”

Lance bristled at the same time Keith stood up and Shiro was on his feet a moment later, a literal wall between the two of them.

“Easy! Hey! Easy you two!” He ordered firmly. “Let’s not start a fight and get kicked out, alright?” He directed this mainly at Keith who sent him a look right back.

“Shiro’s right, Lance,” Hunk muttered under his breath. “This is the only place in town where the cook knows how to probably toast the cheese on their pizza for that nice crunchy char. Do not ruin this for me.”

“I can’t help it that his face looks like that!”

“Like what?” Keith snapped.

“Like it somehow figured out how to become hot?!” Lance fired back. Keith opened his mouth to retort, only for Lance’s words to actually catch up to him.

“W-what?” Keith managed, eyes wide.

“What?” Lance repeated back at him. Keith’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“You just said-”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Lance cut him off in a panic, looking as if he was prepared to turn tail and run.

“Oh my god,” Hunk muttered under his breath, turning away completely.

Keith glared at him for a long moment, looking as if he didn’t know what to say in response to that.

“Sir!”

Lance jumped, looking to his left to see the waitress from before frowning at him in disapproval. Lance was pretty sure he broke a world record for ‘fastest glass disposal in presence of sudden new crush and various friends’ because under a minute later he was shooting Keith a flustered glare as he grabbed Hunk’s arm and dragged (read: Hunk walked him over) to a booth on the opposite side of the restaurant.

“Okay,” Lance whispered, shooting furious glances over at the booth Keith was still occupying. “Change of plans.”

“Mm?” Hunk hummed, munching at his pizza.

“Only, I have absolutely no idea how to change the plans.” Lance hissed. ‘How did he do that thing with his face?!”

“What thing?” Hunk asked between chews.

“The gorgeous thing!” Lance hissed, crowing in anger when Hunk burst into laughter. “Hunk! Keep it down!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Hunk giggled. “Have you considered asking him out?” He suggested amiably.

“Me? Go on a date with Keith Kogane?!” Lance cried loud enough to turn a few heads. “I can’t do on a date with him, we were rivals for years, Hunk! Remember that one time he was walking down the hallway and I clotheslined him and-”

“Lance,” Hunk said, eyeing his pizza critically before he took a bite. He met Lance’s gaze evenly while he chewed. “What are you going to do if someone else from school sees how much he’s changed and asks him out?” He asked casually.

Lance slammed his hands on the table, scrambling to his feet and all but running over to Keith’s table. Hunk watched him go for a long moment, vaguely wondering if he’d be able to get some sleep tonight.