#i mean you're supposed to be Irish and Scottish but you have no real connection to those identities
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#you ever like think abt how you don't rlly have a culture or like connections to a wider community#and your family has kind of fallen appart#and even tho you have some friends and you're close w your sister you feel so deeply sad#bc of that disconnect from a wider community or family#and you can't rlly pull your family back togther#and you don't know how to build a new community#or find one you'd fit in w bc your social skills are shit#and you read a book abt a hawiian girl and her family and it makes you so deeply jealous#bc you've never had a family that cares for each other like that#and maybe you never will#and your partner's been recconecting w their family and cultural heritage#but you don't even have that#like you're just white#i mean you're supposed to be Irish and Scottish but you have no real connection to those identities#no one in your family knows anything abt ireland or scottland beyond that fact that distant relatives came from those countries to the usa#idk I've just been thinking abt culture and family a lot bc I took an asian american lit class#and those things were intergral to like all the stories we read#and it rlly made me realize that I feel like I've been missing those things#and when I was younger my family felt closer and more solid#but the oast few years things have kind of fallen apart#sorry if you clicked the expand tags and yiu had to scroll through this wall of text#I've just been dwelling on all these thoughts lately and especially today
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